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lightdancingwords · 2 months ago

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Crossroads of the Heart - Part Fifteen of ?

Pairings: CJ Braxton x Y/N Female reader

Series Summary: Y/N is a psychology major assigned to shadow CJ at The Stand, unaware he's the one who basically saved her life four years before. CJ is unaware that she's the one who left a notable impact on him over the phone four years ago. As they navigate the work at The Stand, they develop a spark that demands revelation and connection.

Word Count: 5,949

Tags/Warnings: Some fluff, angst (I guess?)

A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! Evidently my muse won't shut up, so here we go! A new story in a new setting! I hope you all enjoy!

Dividers: credit to @saradika-graphics

Chapter Fifteen: Power

The Stand was still in shambles, but progress was finally being made.

The construction crew had managed to rewire the power correctly—without cutting another crucial cable—and most of the computers were back up and running. The volunteers were handling the transition as best they could, with some still working remotely while others adjusted to the lingering noise of drills and hammers echoing from the hallways.

And Miles, miraculously, had not actually combusted.

Mostly thanks to Gabby.

CJ watched from across the office as Gabby, ever the agent of chaos, continued to hover around Miles, insisting on keeping his stress levels in check—whether he liked it or not.

“You know,” Gabby mused, leaning against his desk, “you should really try deep breathing. Or yoga.”

Miles shot her a flat look, adjusting his glasses. “I will literally code you out of the system if you don’t leave me alone.”

Gabby gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. “How dare you! After everything I’ve done for you?”

“You mean ruin my life?”

“Miles!” Gabby swatted his arm, and CJ actually had to bite back a laugh at the sheer suffering on Miles’ face.

“This is my nightmare,” Miles muttered under his breath.

CJ shook his head before turning his attention back to his actual job.

He stood by the main workstation, overseeing the remaining equipment shifts, while Priya checked off tasks from the operations list.

“All right,” she said, tapping her pen against the clipboard. “We’re finally down to just a few more adjustments. The doors are fully rewired, the badge system is almost ready to go live, and IT is still working on making sure the software is functioning correctly.”

“Meaning?” CJ asked.

“Meaning,” Priya said with a smirk, “you can maybe stop looking like you want to strangle the entire construction team.”

CJ exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. “No promises.”

Y/N approached then, stepping beside him, her presence immediately grounding him. “How are we looking?” she asked.

“Better than this morning,” CJ admitted. “Which, to be fair, is a low bar.”

Y/N chuckled, giving him a teasing nudge. “You love this place, admit it.”

CJ shot her a look. “I love you. This place? Questionable.”

Y/N grinned. “I’ll take it.”

Priya, watching their exchange with mild amusement, shook her head. “You two are disgustingly adorable.”

“Jealous?” Y/N teased.

“Not even a little,” Priya said dryly. “But it’s good to know that when the world inevitably collapses, CJ will still be flirting with you in the rubble.”

CJ smirked. “Damn right, I will.”

Before Y/N could respond, a loud beeping sound filled the office.

“What now?” Miles groaned, turning toward the sudden alarm coming from one of the security panels.

One of the contractors rushed over, looking mildly concerned. “Uh, okay, so… the new system is a little more sensitive than we thought.”

“Define ‘a little,’” CJ said, already dreading the answer.

“Well…” the guy hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “It may have just triggered a lockdown sequence.”

CJ stared. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Nothing major!” the contractor quickly added. “Just a test protocol. Doors will remain locked until IT clears the alert.”

Miles muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “kill me now.”

“How long will that take?” Priya asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Uh…” The contractor checked his tablet. “About three hours?”

CJ groaned. “Of course it will.”

Gabby, ever the optimist, clapped her hands together. “Ooo, so we’re trapped! How fun!”

Miles turned to her, exasperated. “How are you like this?”

Gabby grinned. “Natural talent.”

CJ sighed, rubbing his temples. “This day will never end, will it?”

Y/N patted his arm. “But look on the bright side, babe. At least the power’s working now.”

CJ exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “I hate how low our standards have gotten.”

Y/N laughed, leaning into him slightly. “But you love me anyway.”

CJ smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Damn right, I do.”

Priya sighed, flipping the last page of the schedule. “All right. Until the power company gets us out of here, we might as well get some actual work done.”

“Or,” Gabby said brightly, “we could play a game!”

Miles looked horrified. “Please no.”

As the Stand remained locked down with no escape, CJ closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

This was his life.

And, honestly?

He wouldn’t change it for anything.

By the time evening rolled around, the worst of the chaos had finally settled.

The security system was fully installed, the power was officially stable, and IT had lifted the temporary lockdown. The last of the construction crew had packed up their tools and left, and for the first time in days, The Stand actually felt like itself again—no loud drilling, no power surges, no construction workers accidentally cutting crucial wires.

CJ stood near the front, hands on his hips, scanning the office like a man assessing battle damage.

"Well," Priya said, stepping beside him, "miraculously, no one died."

"Yet," Miles muttered, still typing furiously at his station. "I'm still debating if I need to commit a murder."

Gabby patted his arm cheerfully. "Aw, babe, you love it here."

Miles didn't even look up. "I actively hate it here."

Gabby beamed. "Right, but in a loving way."

CJ shook his head, amused. "Honestly? This could have been worse."

Priya shot him a dry look. "CJ, we had a power outage, an accidental lockdown, and Miles nearly went into cardiac arrest."

"And yet," CJ countered, smirking, "this still isn't the worst day we've had."

Priya sighed, rubbing her temple. "You make a concerningly good point."

Y/N appeared at CJ’s side then, slipping her arm through his and leaning into him. "So, do I get to officially say ‘I told you so’?"

CJ glanced down at her, raising an eyebrow. "About what?"

Y/N grinned. "That things would work out."

CJ exhaled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. "Fine. You get to say it."

Y/N beamed. "Told you so."

CJ smirked, pressing a quick kiss to her temple. "Yeah, yeah."

Across the room, Gabby clapped her hands together. "Okay, so now that this day is officially over, I vote that we celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Miles asked, finally looking up from his computer. "We barely survived."

"Exactly," Gabby said brightly. "Survival deserves celebration!"

Priya rolled her eyes but smirked. "What do you have in mind?"

"Food, obviously," Gabby said, already pulling out her phone. "And drinks. And a toast to not having to deal with construction ever again."

CJ hummed. "That last part feels optimistic."

Y/N grinned, nudging him. "Don’t jinx it."

As their shift wrapped up, the evening crew arrived, seamlessly taking over as the daytime team gathered their things. The Stand never really closed—there was always someone here, always calls coming in, always someone on the other end of the line who needed to hear that they weren’t alone.

CJ exhaled, relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever, before letting Y/N tug him toward the door.

Finally, things were looking up.

The night air was crisp as CJ and Y/N climbed the stairs to their apartment, the quiet hum of the city settling into a peaceful lull around them. The celebration had been exactly what they all needed—laughter, good food, and the kind of camaraderie that made even the worst days feel bearable.

CJ had spent most of the evening watching Y/N—how she lit up while teasing Gabby, how she made sure Miles didn’t actually combust, how she touched his knee under the table, grounding him without even realizing it.

And now, as they reached their door and stepped inside, something in him paused.

Before Y/N could move further into the room, CJ reached out and pulled her into him.

Y/N let out a soft sound of surprise as he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into the curve of her neck, breathing her in. His grip was firm, steady—like he needed to feel her in his arms, like he needed the reassurance that she was here.

Y/N blinked, resting her hands against his back before tilting her head slightly. “CJ?” she murmured, her fingers sliding up into his hair.

He didn’t answer right away. He just held her, his heart beating steady and strong against hers.

Y/N smiled softly against his shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”

CJ exhaled, pulling back just enough to look at her. His hands slid up to frame her face, his thumbs brushing along her cheekbones, his gaze intense and unwavering.

“Nothing,” he said, voice low, quiet. “Just… grateful.”

Y/N’s breath caught, her lips parting slightly. “For what?”

CJ’s eyes softened as he searched hers. “You.”

Y/N blinked, her chest tightening. "CJ…"

“I mean it,” he murmured, his hands trailing down to her waist. “I don’t say it enough. You make everything better. Even the worst days. Especially the worst days.”

Y/N swallowed, overwhelmed by the weight of his words. "You do that for me too."

CJ smiled faintly, dipping his head to press his lips so gently against hers—slow and unhurried, as if trying to memorize her.

When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. “Just wanted to remind you.”

Y/N let out a soft laugh, her fingers curling around the front of his shirt. “I really like when you get sentimental.”

CJ smirked, brushing his nose against hers. “Don’t get used to it.”

Y/N grinned, looping her arms around his neck. “Too late.”

CJ chuckled, shaking his head before kissing her again, longer this time—deep and slow, the kind of kiss that anchored them, that reminded them both exactly how much they had found in each other.

And in that moment, nothing else mattered.

Just them.

Together.

The morning was calm, but CJ knew better than to trust the quiet.

He was at his desk, half-focused on emails and half-sipping the coffee Y/N had made before leaving for her shift, when a firm knock sounded on his office door.

“Come in,” he called, already sensing something was off.

Priya stepped inside, closing the door behind her with more care than usual. Her expression was composed, but there was a weight in her eyes that immediately set CJ on edge.

He set his coffee down. “What’s wrong?”

Priya exhaled, setting her tablet on his desk. “I’ve been tracking the storm system off the coast.”

CJ frowned, already feeling where this was headed. “The one they were saying might hit?”

She nodded, swiping on the screen to show the latest updates. The map displayed swirling bands of red and orange, the storm’s projected path shifting slightly inland.

“They just upgraded it to a hurricane,” she said soberly. “And if it doesn’t weaken before landfall, it’s going to hit hard.”

CJ dragged a hand down his face. Of course.

Priya crossed her arms. “I wanted to talk to you about what that means for us. The Stand can’t exactly shut down, but I need to make sure our volunteers and staff are safe. If conditions get bad, we need a plan.”

CJ nodded, already shifting into problem-solving mode. “How long do we have?”

“Maybe a couple of days before it makes landfall,” Priya said. “But we’ll probably start seeing the outer bands sooner. High winds, flooding in low areas—enough to be a problem.”

CJ exhaled, glancing at the map again. “Alright. First things first—we make sure people don’t travel in dangerous conditions. Anyone scheduled to work in person should have the option to go remote before the storm actually hits.”

Priya nodded. “Agreed. But there’s another issue—what about people already here when it starts?”

CJ leaned back in his chair, considering. “We’ll need supplies on hand. If travel gets too dangerous, we can’t have staff or volunteers stuck here with nothing. Food, water, flashlights—whatever we’d need in case of power loss.”

Priya’s gaze softened slightly. “Already ahead of you. I started making a list before I came in here.”

CJ smirked. “Of course you did.”

Priya arched a brow. “One of us has to be organized.”

CJ chuckled, shaking his head before turning serious again. “How bad are we talking? Worst case?”

Priya exhaled slowly. “Worst case? Sustained winds over 90 mph. Power outages for days. Major flooding in low-lying areas. If it strengthens anymore before landfall…” She trailed off, shaking her head.

CJ let out a sharp breath. Damn it.

“I’ll get in touch with Y/N,” he said. “We should coordinate a plan for helping people outside of The Stand, too. If this hits like you think it will, people are gonna need resources. Not just for us, but for the community.”

Priya gave him a look—one that was part respect, part exasperation. “You always have to take on extra, don’t you?”

CJ smirked, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “If we can do something to help, we should.”

Priya sighed, but there was warmth in it. “All right. I’ll start reaching out to our contacts for emergency support.”

CJ nodded, already mentally preparing for the long days ahead. “Good. And Priya?”

She looked back at him.

He held her gaze. “Thanks for staying on top of this.”

Priya’s lips twitched into a small, knowing smile. “Someone has to.”

With that, she turned and walked out, leaving CJ staring at the storm map, already planning for the worst.

The storm had arrived.

For most of the morning, it had been manageable—heavy rain, strong winds, but nothing that felt like a crisis. CJ, Y/N, Priya, Gabby, Miles, and a handful of other volunteers had made it into The Stand, prepared for a long shift of handling storm-related crisis calls. They had stocked up on supplies, rerouted calls for remote access where possible, and done everything right.

And yet—

CJ should’ve known something would go wrong.

The building shuddered as the power shut down completely. The overhead lights flickered, then died. The hum of computers ceased. And most importantly—the newly installed electronic security system?

Gone.

A beat of silence followed before—

“Oh, for the love of—”

CJ turned just in time to see Miles throw his hands in the air. "I knew this would happen! This is exactly why I said putting the entire security system on a single electrical grid was stupid!"

Gabby, who had been rifling through a supply box, abandoned it immediately and strode toward him, grinning like she was delighted by his meltdown. "Aw, come on, Miles, it’s kinda fun! We’re having a workplace adventure!"

Miles turned to her, scandalized. "Gabriella, we are trapped in a building during a hurricane with no backup power. Does that sound like fun to you?"

Gabby tapped her chin. "A little."

"Of course it does," Miles muttered, rubbing his temples. "This is my nightmare."

Priya exhaled, already reaching for her phone to check for updates. "The system should have had a backup," she said, frowning. "Which means—"

"—the backup also failed," CJ finished grimly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fantastic."

"What now?" one of the volunteers asked, looking a little too nervous for CJ’s liking.

"Now," Priya said smoothly, "we stay calm and wait for the power to reboot."

"And if they can’t?"

Priya exhaled, tucking her phone into her pocket. "Then we make the best of it."

CJ looked over at Y/N, who was watching the storm outside through the large windows. The wind had picked up, hard, the trees bending, rain streaking against the glass.

She turned, catching his gaze. "Guess we’re stuck here, huh?"

CJ smirked. "Looks like it."

Y/N hummed, stepping closer, nudging his shoulder. "Think you can handle being locked in with all of us?"

CJ glanced over at Miles, still aggressively muttering to himself, and Gabby, who was now attempting to calm him down by offering to braid his hair.

He exhaled. "Debatable."

Y/N laughed softly, looping her arm through his. "Well, we might as well make the best of it."

CJ shook his head, amused, before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her temple. "Yeah, yeah."

Gabby turned at that exact moment, eyes lighting up. "Oooooh, look at you two sneaking cute moments in the apocalypse!"

CJ groaned. "Gabby."

She beamed. "What? I love this for you!"

Miles groaned even louder. "I swear to God, if we’re stuck here overnight, I’m quitting."

CJ chuckled, shaking his head. "Relax, Miles. What’s the worst that could happen?"

Just then, a loud crash sounded from somewhere in the building.

A very familiar power tool-related crash.

CJ closed his eyes. "I take it back."

Priya sighed. "Of course you do."

And just like that, the night really began.

The Stand was officially on lockdown.

The rain lashed against the windows, the wind howled through the cracks in the building, and the backup generator that was supposed to keep the power on? Completely fried.

The worst part? IT couldn’t do anything about it.

The utility company had to restore power first, which meant they were at the mercy of the storm. Until then, the office was pitch dark, except for the dim glow of emergency exit lights and the occasional flash of lightning outside.

And because the brilliantly designed security system ran on electric locks, the doors were stuck.

Trapped.

CJ sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. "Of course this is how today ends."

Across the room, Miles was pacing, his grumbling increasing in volume with every step. "This is a perfect example of why everything should have a manual override. Who the hell—"

"Miles," Gabby interrupted sweetly, stepping in front of him, "breathe."

Miles scowled, adjusting his glasses. "I am breathing. I’m also raging."

"Multitasking, I love that for you," Gabby teased.

Miles muttered something unintelligible that definitely wasn’t appropriate for work.

Priya leaned against the desk, arms crossed, her expression cool and composed. "IT says we’re stuck until the utility company gets power back. No power, no system reset."

CJ exhaled, already bracing himself. "How long?"

Priya shrugged. "Could be a couple of hours. Could be all night."

Miles stopped pacing. "All night?"

"Relax," Y/N said, stepping beside CJ, slipping her hand into his. "It’s not the worst thing in the world."

CJ smirked, squeezing her hand. "Could be worse."

"Could it?" Miles snapped. "Because I’m struggling to see how."

"We could be stuck outside," Y/N pointed out. "Or on the road. Or in an elevator."

CJ snorted. "That last one might’ve broken you, Miles."

"I would not have survived," Miles admitted grimly.

"Exactly," Y/N said, squeezing CJ’s arm. "See? Perspective."

Miles groaned, throwing himself into a chair. "I hate all of you."

Gabby beamed, plopping onto the desk next to him. "Aww, you love us, tech boy."

"I actively do not," Miles muttered.

Gabby patted his shoulder. "Denial is the first step, babe."

Priya sighed, pulling out her phone—not that it was of much use with the Wi-Fi down. "We might as well make the best of it."

"I swear to God," Miles muttered.

"Ooooh," Gabby interrupted, her eyes lighting up. "Let’s play a game!"

Miles’ head snapped up. "Absolutely not."

"Gabby," Priya said tiredly. "No."

"Come on! We need to pass the time!" Gabby grinned, eyes flicking to CJ and Y/N. "I know you two will back me up!"

Y/N laughed, glancing at CJ. "I mean… she’s not wrong."

CJ smirked. "Not committing until I know what the game is."

Gabby beamed. "Truth or dare."

Miles threw his head back. "I hate this place."

"You love it here," Gabby chirped.

CJ shook his head, leaning against the desk as Y/N pressed into his side.

They were trapped in the dark, the storm still raged outside, and the power company had no ETA.

But Y/N was right.

They’d survived worse.

And for now?

They’d make the best of it.

The office was dim, the only light coming from the emergency exit signs and the occasional flash of lightning illuminating the room through the windows. Rain hammered against the glass, the wind howling as the storm raged on.

And in the middle of the chaos, they were playing Truth or Dare.

CJ wasn't sure how this had happened.

Well. He did.

It was Gabby’s fault.

She had somehow convinced the group—through sheer force of will—to go along with it, and now they were fully committed.

Miles, however, was suffering.

"I want it on record," he muttered, arms crossed, "that I was forced into this."

"Duly noted," Priya said dryly, taking a seat on one of the desks.

"Oh, hush," Gabby said, leaning against Miles’ chair. "This is fun."

"This is not fun," Miles shot back.

"It is fun," Y/N chimed in, grinning as she curled up next to CJ on the couch. "You just don’t like admitting when you’re enjoying yourself."

CJ smirked, resting his arm along the back of the couch, his fingers idly playing with a strand of Y/N’s hair. "She’s not wrong."

Miles scowled. "You’re supposed to be on my side, Braxton."

"Nope," CJ said easily. "You’re on your own, buddy."

Miles groaned. "I hate all of you."

"Right, right," Gabby said, delighted at his misery. "Now shut up, because it’s your turn, tech boy. Truth or dare?"

Miles sighed deeply, clearly rethinking every life choice that had led him to this moment. "Truth."

Gabby’s grin widened. "Ooooh, excellent choice. Let’s see…" She tapped her chin dramatically before her face lit up. "What was your actual first impression of me?"

Miles stared at her. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

Miles muttered something under his breath before sighing. "Fine. First impression? You were loud."

Gabby gasped, mock-offended. "Loud?!"

"And chaotic," Miles continued. "And a menace to my personal space."

Gabby grinned. "So basically, you fell in love at first sight?"

Miles groaned, scrubbing a hand down his face. "This is my nightmare."

CJ actually laughed, shaking his head. "Alright, next." His gaze flicked to Y/N, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Your turn, sweetheart. Truth or dare?"

Y/N smirked, tilting her head. "Dare."

Gabby let out an excited gasp. "Oooooh, okay, okay! I dare you to…" She paused dramatically, her grin turning mischievous. "Sit in CJ’s lap for the rest of the game."

Y/N arched a brow. "That’s not even a real dare."

"Oh, it is," Gabby assured her. "I just wanted an excuse to make him blush."

CJ rolled his eyes but did not protest when Y/N immediately climbed into his lap, getting comfortable like it was second nature.

Because, well. It was.

"Happy now?" CJ said dryly, resting his hands on Y/N’s waist.

Gabby beamed. "Extremely."

"Whose turn is it?" Priya asked, shaking her head.

"CJ’s," Y/N said, smirking at him. "Truth or dare?"

CJ smirked, leaning back slightly. "Truth."

Y/N tapped her fingers against his chest. "If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?"

CJ hummed, pretending to think. "Easy. A snowflake."

Y/N’s breath hitched slightly, her fingers curling against his shirt.

Gabby gasped dramatically. "Oh, my God, are you two in a romance novel?"

"Apparently," Priya muttered.

Y/N swallowed, smiling softly. "Good answer."

CJ smirked, tugging her a little closer. "I know."

Gabby sighed happily. "Ugh, I love this for you two."

Miles muttered, "I do not."

CJ shook his head, watching the group with amusement as the game continued.

They were trapped, in the dark, in the middle of a hurricane with no ETA on when the power would return.

But somehow, with Y/N in his lap, Gabby annoying Miles, and Priya quietly observing, CJ thought—

This might actually be one of the best nights they’ve had in a while.

The storm raged on outside, but inside The Stand, the game was in full swing. The group had fully embraced the ridiculousness of their situation, and CJ was actually enjoying himself—mostly because Y/N was still curled up in his lap, laughing against his shoulder at the latest truth Gabby had managed to drag out of Priya.

But the real highlight of the night was about to happen.

Y/N sat up slightly, turning her attention to Miles, who had been painfully avoiding eye contact with Gabby for the last few rounds. She smirked, her fingers lightly tapping against CJ’s chest as she tilted her head.

"Miles," she said, eyes glinting mischievously, "truth or dare?"

CJ immediately knew something was up.

Miles sighed, clearly wary. "Dare."

Gabby gasped dramatically, clapping her hands. "Oh, he’s feeling brave tonight!"

Y/N’s grin widened before she leaned forward slightly. "I dare you… to kiss Gabby."

CJ choked on air.

Gabby froze, eyes going wide. "Ohhh, I love this game."

Miles, on the other hand, looked like he was about to die. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Y/N said sweetly, biting back a grin. "You can’t back out, Miles. Rules are rules."

CJ grinned, highly entertained. "She’s right, man. You accepted the dare."

Miles looked murderous. "I hate all of you."

Gabby, however, was beaming. "Oh, come on, tech boy," she teased. "Just a little kiss? What’s the worst that could happen?"

"A lot," Miles muttered, but the redness creeping up his entire neck gave him away.

"Tick-tock," Priya said smoothly, crossing her arms. "We’re waiting."

Miles groaned loudly, looking everywhere except at Gabby. "Fine."

Gabby perked up, her grin turning absolutely smug. "Ooooh, is this happening?"

"Shut up," Miles muttered before turning toward her, adjusting his glasses like he was mentally preparing himself for battle.

Gabby bounced slightly in place, looking highly amused. "Come on, tech boy, lay it on me—"

Before she could finish the sentence, Miles grabbed her by the face and kissed her.

CJ wasn’t sure what he expected—but it definitely wasn’t that.

Gabby made a startled sound before melting into it, her hands gripping his shirt as if she had been waiting for this moment her entire life.

The group erupted.

"Oh my God," Y/N gasped. "He actually—"

"I did not see that coming," Priya admitted.

CJ grinned, shaking his head. "Well, damn."

After a few very long seconds, Miles finally pulled away, his face redder than ever. "There. Happy now?"

Gabby blinked, stunned, before she smirked. "Oh, babe. You are never living this down."

Miles groaned, covering his face. "Kill me now."

"Nope," CJ said, highly entertained. "You brought this on yourself."

Y/N, absolutely delighted, clapped her hands. "Best dare of the night."

Gabby, still grinning, leaned toward Miles. "Wanna do that again just to make sure it counts?"

Miles visibly short-circuited. "Absolutely not."

"Your loss," Gabby teased, winking.

CJ exhaled, leaning back against the couch. "This was an excellent idea."

Y/N grinned, snuggling back into his lap. "I know."

The game continued, but there was no topping that dare.

And as CJ watched Miles try desperately to recover while Gabby whispered things in his ear just to watch him blush, he decided—

Storm or not, this was officially the best night they’d had in a long time.

The Stand was still wrapped in darkness, the storm continuing to rage outside, but inside, the energy of the group was lighter than it had been in days.

Miles was still recovering from his very public kiss with Gabby, sitting stiffly in his chair like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself, while Gabby was thrilled with her victory. Y/N was nestled comfortably in CJ’s lap, looking way too pleased with herself after her successful dare, and Priya was watching the chaos unfold with her usual amused but composed expression.

And then—

"Alright, CJ," Gabby declared, turning her attention to him. "Truth or dare?"

CJ smirked, adjusting his arms around Y/N. "Truth."

Gabby’s grin widened, mischief lighting up her eyes. "Oooooh, excellent choice, Mr. Braxton."

CJ arched a brow. "Why do I suddenly regret this?"

"Because you should." Gabby tapped her chin dramatically before looking directly at Y/N, then back at CJ. "Okay. Real talk, CJ. Are you ever going to propose to Y/N?"

The room went silent.

CJ froze.

Y/N stiffened in his lap, tilting her head up to look at him, her eyes wide with shock.

CJ tried to answer smoothly, tried to play it off, but his brain stuttered, and instead of something cool and collected, what came out was—

"Uh—yes?"

Gabby gasped, delighted. "Oh my God!"

Y/N blinked. "Wait, what?"

CJ felt his face heat, suddenly very aware that all eyes were on him. "I—" He exhaled, dragging a hand through his hair before looking down at Y/N, whose expression was an even mix of shock and curiosity. "I mean… yeah."

Y/N stared at him. "You were— You were thinking about that?"

CJ swallowed, realizing there was zero way out of this, so he just sighed and went with the truth. "I wasn’t planning to do it right now, but… yeah. I’ve been thinking about it."

Y/N’s lips parted slightly, her breath hitching, like she was fully processing his words. "CJ…"

Gabby clapped her hands together, practically vibrating. "This is the best game I’ve ever played."

Miles, who had finally recovered from his own public emotional turmoil, smirked. "Damn. Didn’t think I’d see Braxton actually stammer over something."

Priya, watching CJ struggle, simply sipped her tea, eyes twinkling with amusement. "This is so much better than the construction disaster."

CJ sighed, looking back at Y/N, suddenly needing to explain himself. "I wasn’t gonna say anything yet," he murmured, his voice softer now, just for her. "Because I wasn’t ready yet. Not because I don’t want to. But because when I do it? I want it to be right."

Y/N exhaled, and something shifted in her eyes—something softer, something warmer. "You really mean that?"

CJ tilted her chin up, brushing his thumb against her jaw. "Yeah. I do."

Y/N’s lips curved slightly, her eyes shining in the dim light. "Well. That’s… unexpected."

"Yeah?" CJ murmured, his heart pounding.

Y/N grinned. "But not unwanted."

CJ felt his chest tighten—not with anxiety, not with pressure, but with something so much better.

Y/N wanted forever with him.

And damn if that didn’t make everything else disappear.

Gabby sighed dramatically, clasping her hands together. "God, I love love."

Miles groaned. "I don’t."

Priya chuckled, setting her mug down. "Alright, let’s give our future married couple a break and keep this game going."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head, but when she turned back to CJ, there was something different in her gaze.

Something knowing.

Something that said this conversation wasn’t over.

CJ smirked, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before murmuring just for her—

"Come to my office. Let’s talk."

Y/N’s grin widened, something curious flickering in her expression. "Okay."

And just like that, the game kept going, but CJ knew—

Something had definitely changed.

The door to CJ’s office clicked shut behind them, muffling the sounds of laughter and conversation from the break room. The dim glow from the emergency lights cast long shadows across the space, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

Y/N stood near the desk, her arms crossed loosely, her expression thoughtful—still trying to process what had just happened.

CJ leaned against the edge of his desk, watching her carefully. He wasn’t nervous, exactly, but there was a weight in his chest that hadn’t been there before Gabby had opened her mouth.

And now, there was no going back.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn’t mean for you to find out like that."

Y/N let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. "Yeah, I figured."

CJ exhaled, looking down for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "But I meant what I said."

Y/N’s lips parted slightly, her gaze searching his. "You’ve really been thinking about it? Marriage?”

CJ nodded, his voice steady. "Yeah. Not because of pressure, or because it’s ‘the next step,’ but because…" He exhaled. "Because I love you. Because you’re it for me, Y/N. And I don’t want anyone else. I don’t even want to think about a life that doesn’t have you in it."

Y/N swallowed hard, her fingers tightening around the fabric of her sweater. "CJ…"

"I know it’s soon," he added quickly, sensing the hesitation in her voice. "I know we just moved in together. I know you have school, your practicum, all of that. I’m not asking for an answer right now. I just… I needed you to know how I feel. Because it’s been in my head for a while now, and after everything that’s happened—the storms, the chaos, even just us—I can’t pretend I don’t think about it."

Y/N let out a slow breath, rubbing her arms like she was trying to gather her thoughts. "I—" She hesitated, biting her lip. "I love you, CJ. You know that. But I’m just…taken aback by all of this. I wasn’t expecting to talk about marriage this soon. I just moved in with you. I still have school, my practicum, my entire career to think about—"

"I know," CJ interrupted softly. "And I don’t want to take any of that from you. I want you to finish school. I want you to do your practicum, to build the future you’ve worked so hard for. I just…" He paused, searching her expression. "Where do you see that future, Y/N?"

Y/N blinked, caught off guard. "What?"

"Where do you see yourself, years from now?" CJ asked, his voice careful, not pushing, just curious. "Because if I’m being honest… I used to have a plan. My whole life was The Stand. I thought that was all it was ever going to be. And then…" He exhaled, his lips twitching into something soft. "And then you walked in and everything changed."

Y/N’s breath hitched slightly, her fingers twitching at her sides. "CJ…"

"So I’m asking you," he continued, voice steady. "Where do you see yourself in the future?"

Y/N opened her mouth, then closed it.

And for the first time, she didn’t have an answer.

Because everything had changed since she walked through the doors of The Stand.

She had thought she knew what her future looked like—finishing school, finishing her practicum, taking a job somewhere as a psychologist or crisis counselor.

But then there was CJ.

Then there was this place, these people, this life she hadn’t expected but couldn’t imagine giving up.

Y/N exhaled sharply, closing her eyes for a second before meeting his gaze again. "I don’t know," she admitted, voice quiet but sure. "I don’t know where I see myself in five years, or ten years, or what my career will look like exactly. But…" She swallowed, taking a step closer to him. "I know one thing."

CJ tilted his head slightly, waiting. "What’s that?"

Y/N inhaled deeply, holding his gaze. "I don’t see a future without you in it."

CJ’s chest tightened, warmth spreading through him at her words.

He reached for her then, his hands finding her waist, pulling her closer until they were just a breath apart. "Then that’s enough for me," he murmured.

Y/N exhaled, resting her hands on his chest. "It is?"

"Yeah," CJ whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. "We’ve got time. I’m not in a rush. As long as I have you, the rest can come when it’s meant to."

Y/N let out a shaky laugh, closing her eyes briefly before looking up at him again. "I really, really love you, CJ Braxton."

CJ smirked, brushing his lips against hers. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And when she kissed him, slow and deep, CJ knew—

It didn’t matter when.

She was his future.

And that was all he needed to know.

Tag List: @kmc1989, @ozwriterchick

Want to be a part of this tag list or others? Message me here! And check out the other story I’m writing!

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forwhump · 9 months ago

Text

a/n; :’) I was actually looking for smth caretaking (@ chi if you see this I deleted your ask but I won’t forget I promise !!!) but I found this instead & tbh it’s just kind of a banger so here we are (I also found a fun one that’s just wren literally holding silas’ head onto his body but is that postable ??? I guess we’ll see)

I forgot how much fun the wren pov folder is so big shoutout to the anon who asked for it im having a great time !! & obviously thank you all of y’all you who read my nonsense for coming along for the ride :’)

(fun fact !: the reason Point is called Point is because of the cane he has in this one that I don’t know if I’ve posted about before LOL in the big grand scheme of things it’s almost a reoccurring character)(he calls it “little debbie” if you were wondering)

tw/cw: implied noncon, graphic depictions of violence, caning, skinning, grievous bodily harm, mutilation, misgendering, transphobia, dehumanization, slut shaming, humiliation, point’s daddy kink, major character death (but he dies all the time it’s kind of a thing)

living weapon whumpee, creepy whumper (it’s point again idk he’s not NOT creepy)(he makes wren call him daddy)

There isn’t a lot of Silas that’s still human.

It haunts Wren more than he’s willing to admit.

It sits on his chest, a dead weight. He dreams of getting out of here, of seeing the sunlight again, his mother, his friends, and it’s hard to superimpose Silas into those dreams; Silas, who shares more in common with Michelangelo’s David than any human man.

He’s a weapon crafted from violence and stone, but the parts of him that are still human are so human that Wren aches for him. He thinks of himself as a violent dog, but Wren knows him better than that — he’s reactive. He’s protective. He loves with a ferocity that Wren barely understands.

The way he bleeds is human.

Silas thinks of his own blood as tainted, but Wren knows better than that. His blood is all human. His pain, as well.

He roars and it’s an animal sound, but the look on his face is entirely human. The way his chin drops to his chest and he shudders with blood loss is all human, nothing else.

Wren tries to scream but Gore has a gloved hand clamped firmly over his mouth. He shakes against Wren’s back every so often, bouts of laughter at his expense.

It’s inhuman, is what this is. There isn’t a lot of Silas left that’s still human, but he’s still so much more human than any of these men, these soldiers. They crowd Wren’s room, they block the doorway, they have Silas on his knees in a puddle of his own blood, growing too quickly, covering too much of the floor. They hold a buck knife to Wren’s throat so Silas doesn’t fight them. Not once.

He kneels on the concrete. Point has this cane, long and crafted from iron, heavy and barbed lethally on one end. He swings it again, and the barbs snag the sensitive flesh beneath Silas’ Adam’s apple and tear it right out of his throat.

Silas doesn’t roar this time, he just gurgles, low and pained. It makes Point laugh — that rasping, dead leaves sound that somehow passes as laughter. Almost jovial, he swings his cane around to point the end of it at Wren, but then he isn’t smiling anymore. “Whore,” he says, and he enunciates very carefully. He whips around to swing at Silas again and the jagged hooks of metal catch on the puckered hollow of his empty eye socket. Silas makes a rasping sound, probably as much of a roar as he can manage, and Point grins like a cartoon supervillain and rips Silas’ eyelid off his face.

Wren thrashes and Gore’s chest rumbles with laughter as he holds him a little closer.

“I warned you,” Point says, and he’s speaking to Wren but he throws his cane at Silas again, rips a chunk of flesh and muscle off his chest, “no dogs on the bed.” The barbed end of the cane sinks next into the hollow beneath Silas’ sternum. A noise is knocked out of Silas like nothing Wren has ever heard. Point has to brace a boot against his chest to pry the cane free, and he’s particular about shoving it deep into the skinned meat of his ribcage as he wrenches it out of his flesh with a sound like suction.

“But you just can’t keep your legs closed, can you, cowgirl?” Point asks, sickeningly conversational as he swings his cane again, peeling the muscle of Silas’ bicep clean away from the bone in his arm. “You just can’t help yourself. You’ll even let the dog fuck you.”

The heat burns in Wren’s face, blistering.

Point grins at him, grotesque. “Good girls don’t fuck dogs,” he says. “Whores fuck dogs. What does that make you, baby?”

Silas makes a low noise, kind of groan, still disturbingly wet. Point looks down at him quickly. Sometimes the way he moves is sickening, unsettling, too jerky to be human. It’s cruel, but it’s also just unfair; this evil marionette, wearing the skin of a man, gets to carve a place for himself in the outside world, and Silas doesn’t?

Point’s grin stretches across his face, each time more grotesque than the last. “What was that, boy?” He asks, and cups a hand behind his ear. “I think Lassie’s trying to tell me something.”

Silas makes another rumbling groan of a sound and Point leans in a bit closer. “Your girlfriend’s a filthy whore?” He mocks. “I think so, too.”

His one arm, bicep severed, is limp at his side, but his other arm is still functional, and Silas is strong. Wren doesn’t think he can even quite grasp how strong Silas actually is. With his other hand, he grabs Point by the windpipe with so much force Point’s face changes colour three times in less than a second; red, then blue, then purple.

Point croaks, which makes Silas grin. Wren sobs.

Letting the cane start to slide through his hand, Point curls his fingers around the middle, sturdy, before he cracks the barbed end into the inside of Silas’ elbow with all his weight. It sinks all the way through flesh and viscera, and when Point pries it free again, he peels the skin off his forearm, a flap of bloody tissue that sways at Silas’ wrist.

Silas snarls as Point quickly covers his bruised throat with his other hand. That marionette grin is gone, replaced by the simmering rage he always keeps boiling just beneath the surface. “Fucker,” he spits.

He doesn’t kick him, not really, so much as he cracks the bottom of his boot into Silas’ face and puts all his weight into it. Blood sprays from Silas in an explosion of clotted red mist and Point spits on him, fuming. “No dogs on the bed,” he snaps. “I won’t keep repeating myself.” He swings his cane back over his shoulder, looking at Wren, too close and too intense. The way Point looks at him has always made him shudder. “And you,” he says, softer, in the sickly sweet mocking he reserves just for him, that rage flickering on his face. “Why won’t you just behave?”

Wren scowls at him from beneath Gore’s hand, but he’s crying and he’s helpless and it only makes Point grin, wide and mean.

“If you don’t smarten up, cowgirl,” he says, “I will put your dog down. I’m not playing with you anymore. I will put it down, carve it open, and fuck you in its carcass. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

He scowls again, but his eyes are burning.

Point lifts his chin at Gore, who’s hand slides from over Wren’s mouth to around his neck. Point grins at him. “Say it.”

Wren doesn’t. He opens his mouth and the best he can do is a sob.

Point raises his eyebrows. “What did I just say?” He asks sharply. “Say it.”

Wren tries to look away but Point grabs him by the jaw, forcing his face up, forcing Wren to look at him as he whispers, just barely, “yes, daddy.”

Point pats his cheek twice. “Giddyup.” He motions at Gore, who drops Wren into an ungraceful pile on the concrete. With a whistle, he angles his head towards the door, and his men start to file out of the cramped space of Wren’s bedroom. Point lingers last in the doorway, watching Wren pull himself up from the floor. “If I find out you fucked this thing again,” he reminds him, “I’ll fix it, and I’ll make you swallow its testicles. Y’hear?”

Wren doesn’t consider himself a particularly violent person, especially not amongst such violent people. Point, though — Point brings out something in Wren that Wren is almost ashamed of. Point makes him violent. Wren had never wondered what it would feel like to crush a human head until he met him.

But Silas’ blood is seeping through Wren’s joggers, warming his skin, so he’s good. For Silas’ sake, he’s good. “Yes,” he whispers, “daddy.”

Point winks at him as he leaves. Wren wants to watch him die.

Before the door has even closed completely behind him, Wren lurches closer to Silas, kneeling in a pool of blood so thick it isn’t red, but a sickening, shimmering black, an oil spill.

“Hey,” Wren breathes, cradling Silas’ face, almost impossibly gentle. “Hey.” Carefully, he lifts his chin from his chest.

Silas looks like a scene from a horror movie. Half of his face had been stripped to raw meat and his empty eye socket is leaking a sick, yellow fluid. The bone of his cheek and his jaw on one side have been stripped completely of meat and muscle, a sickening flash of bone beneath the gore, a bit too white to be entirely natural. He looks at Wren, and he looks dazed.

Wren thumbs slowly over a bloody cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

Silas opens his mouth like he wants to speak and vomits blood all down the front of Wren’s chest and his lap. Wren makes an involuntary sound, something panicked, a hiccup. Silas must mistake it for disgust, because he tries to pull away, he tries to lift his head on his own. “M’sorry,” he slurs, so wet Wren can barely understand him, “m’okay,” and he isn’t, his skin is hanging from his meat in bloody ribbons and he can barely hold up his own head, but he’s speaking, however wet, he’s breathing, his heart is beating, he’s alive. He’s bleeding and he’s hurting but he’s alive. He’s okay. He’ll be okay.

Wren is gentle as he bats away Silas’ hands, reaching back up for him, cradling his face. “Silas,” he says softly. Silas blinks down at him, something dazed, maybe dizzy, and vomits again with a pained, gurgling cough.

They’d come in the middle of the night, Point and his favourite men, all his most cruel soldiers. Wren doesn’t need to guess to know exactly why they’d come to see him, or why Point was so furious to find Silas already there. They’d been sleeping — Wren can’t sleep if Silas isn’t with him, and Point is the reason why. He’s more scared of Silas than he likes to admit or than he wants his men to realize, and it makes him deranged. It makes him violent.

He’d woken Silas in the middle of the night by opening his gut with the barbed end of his cane. Silas, who didn’t do anything wrong. Silas, who didn’t do anything but indulge Wren and sleep beside him.

They can’t get to medical in the middle of the night. There’s nobody at the door to let them through. Point and his team have watch tonight, and if Wren were to hit a panic button, nobody would answer him. They’d punished Silas and left him alone to bleed.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathes again.

Silas has his good cheek leaned hard against the palm of Wren’s hand. There isn’t a lot of Silas that’s still human, but there are parts of him that are, and Wren can see one of those parts in his face, in the very slight crease of pain between his eyebrows. Silas would never complain, and especially not to Wren. For a long time, Wren didn’t think he was even capable of feeling pain — it was Medic that told him otherwise. Silas feels pain, and the way he feels it is almost entirely human. He has no special tolerance. He’s desensitized.

But his head is leaned hard against Wren’s palm and Wren can’t imagine how heavy it must be. He can’t imagine what it’s taking for Silas to hold himself up.

Still, Silas slurs, “m’okay.”

He isn’t. He vomits again, blood that’s getting darker and darker in colour. His head kind of sways against Wren’s hand, and he doesn’t open his eye before he throws up more blood, too dark, too quickly.

“Silas?” Wren breathes.

He coughs, and he throws up more blood. Too much blood.

“Hey,” Wren says softly, touching his cheek, a little firmer.

There’s just enough of Silas left in him that he lurches away so he doesn’t crush Wren with his weight when he collapses, face first, to the concrete. His blood is everywhere, pooling on the uneven ground, and Wren can hear the way it bubbles, sickening, beneath Silas’ face as he gurgles for breath and vomits more blood, acidic amongst the oil spill, dull amongst the shimmer.

“Hey,” Wren breathes, and his voice breaks. He kneels quickly next to him, putting a hand at his back, slick with blood. “Silas.”

It happens really quickly. It happens so quickly. Silas stops heaving. The pool beneath him stops bubbling. His back stills beneath Wren’s hand. All at once.

“Silas?”

And he dies, skinned, on the floor of Wren’s bedroom.

He’s dead for all of three minutes before Point returns. He’s grinning.

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writersblog20 · 2 years ago

Text

The fight and the love

Pedro Pascal x Agent reader (ANGST)

Summary: It would’ve been an easy mission. You were supposed to take out a group that was planning a terrorist attack but things soon, turned horribly wrong.

Warnings: SEVERE PTSD, VERY TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, mention of terrorism attack, being tortured for information, close to death, all the Symptoms that comes along with PTSD, quick mention of wanting to die but not by suicide, mention of team being murdered and tortured, multiple injuries etc etc, really, read with precaution and if you’re sensitive to these kind of things, I would advise you not to read this story. I have a masterlist with more uplifting and comforting storied but I wanted to try something new.

Words: 6K (oops)

I’M NOT JOKING, READ WITH PRECAUTION PLEASE!

A/N: This could be read as platonic or romantic relationship with Pedro. Also hi, I’m sorry for being so inactive for too long, I’ve been so, so busy with school, my job, and doing the graphics on my own for a big festival so as you can imagine, I don’t have the time to write but I WON’T stop! I’ll post so now and then. Hope you all understand, much love from your homegirl.❤️

The fight and the love

It would’ve been an easy mission they said… This was your first mission as a team leader, and it wouldn’t have been a big deal but that was nothing close to the truth. One thing you were sure about, there was a leak. But that wasn’t your big concern right now. Getting out of this situation alive, was your biggest concern. You needed to get yourself and your team back home.

You were supposed to stop a terror attack, but it was a well planed trap, taking you and your team somewhere secluded to spread terror across the country. They send videos public of yourself and your team getting tortured, and it booked the news all over the news. Not that you knew all of that, but you did know that the torture sessions were getting recorded. They wanted to know something and since you were the leader of the team, they came regular back into the room you were placed in.

Your breathing was wheezy, suspectedly from a collapsed lung, you guessed. You looked at the stab wounds which were burned to stop the bleeding, so they could keep torturing you and try to get information from you. You told them lies. You knew they would kill you if you didn’t give them something, yet they would kill you if you would tell the truth. They were doubting if you were lying or not so that’s how you’re still alive, inside some sort of chamber.

You had no idea how long you were here. It felt like an eternity, but it might’ve been 2 days or 2 weeks. You had no access to sunlight, keeping you guessing if it was night or day. You stared at the cement wall in front of you and thought about Pedro and the tears fell across your face. You were sure that you were not getting out of here alive. You just wished you would’ve told him how much he means to you, hug him, tell him you loved him. That was all you could think about in here, Pedro and how the hell you were getting yourself out of this. You were scared to death that he might’ve seen a torture video of you, that might’ve been worse than the torture because you knew it would affect him on a deeper level. You didn’t want those images circling his mind. You wanted him to think about the happy memories.

That was how you didn’t give up. There were many, many moments where you just wanted to die. Wanted them to kill you and be over with this. The moments where they were waterboarding and your lungs feeling on fire, thinking every second will be your last. Every hit, every shock, every stab wound, made you just want to die but then Pedro flashes through your mind. The moments of laughter, the hugs, silly dances, serious conversations, and most importantly, the love you felt in his presence. He was and will always be, the most important person in your entire live. Pedro was your family. And the moments you were the most scared in the torture sessions, all you could think of was Pedro, thinking that every minute was going to be your last and you didn’t want to go with the feeling of being absolutely petrified. No, you wanted to think about someone you loved, Pedro.

You had no clue when your last ‘session’ was. To keep yourself sane, you talked to the wall, imagining it was Pedro. You told the wall everything you wanted to tell him. You had no idea if your team members were still alive, who weren’t or if you were the only one. The thoughts about the government handling this came to mind as well. Were they planning on rescuing you, or not. You knew that they wouldn’t negotiate with terrorist so that scared you. The thought of nobody coming to rescue you was horrible. You had to keep your mind from swirling down into a deep rabbit hole, so you refocused on the happy memories with Pedro. Like the days he brought you to Disney because he heard you’ve never been there, taking you to the beach, or you taking him back to your birth country and show him the things from your childhood. You felt helpless yet determined. It was such a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. You were sure that this was a form of torture as well as the physical.

The door slammed open, and you saw the terrorist for the first time without something covering their face and at that moment, you were sure you were going to die. They walked over to you, dragging you up. You tried to fight back but your entire body was in too much pain. You had no idea how many bones they broke but you were sure there would be a couple. They kicked you and you screamed as loud as you could and kicked around but they got you. You promised yourself, not to go down without putting up a fight. They dragged your body into the torture room, and you saw blood everywhere. You were sure someone just died in here. There was no way that someone could lose this much blood and still be alive.

They placed you on a table and you knew the drill. Waterboarding. You felt your heartrate pick up, the thundering against your chest, your breathing shallow and fast. You tried to beg for mercy, crying your eyes out at this point and tried to fight them. A towel was placed over your face, and you felt water being poured over you, the air escaping you. You tried to remain as calm as possible at this point, trying to keep as much air in your lungs as you could. But as usual, they kept the towel on your face for a very long time. You started gasping for air and tried to wiggle around but they had put something sharp on your wrist, ankles, and neck, making every movement even more unbearable because of the pain. You felt yourself grow dizzy and slowly losing consciousness until you passed out.

~time skip~

You felt something sharp hit you, waking you up in an unbearable feeling of pain as you let out a blood curling scream. You tried to wiggle away but the sharp things, keeping you in place, which you could now see was barbed wire. You saw the blood seeping down and a big knife in your stomach and you were certain they had hit an organ, making you bleed intern. They took out the knife and they plunged it into your leg, making you scream again, and they repeated this for a while, screaming things in a different language. They held the knife up to your throat and made you look in the camera. And this was the moment you were sure that you were going to die in here. You saw the camera blink red. Tears streamed down your face and all you could think of was the world seeing you die. Pedro, seeing you die. You needed him to know that you loved him so that was what you said: “I love you Pedge.” The knife was tightly against your throat, and you felt hot liquid wall down from where the knife was and closed your eyes, expecting it to happen right now until there was an extremely loud sound coming from outside.

So loud that the whole building shook. The camera fell, just like the terrorists besides you. everything was covered in dust, making it hard to see. Your ears were buzzing, and people were screaming around you, giving out orders and from pain. There was still a knife in your leg, and you knew that this was your only chance to escape so you took the knife out of your leg and tried to cover your scream. You started slicing in the wires and luckily, you were loose. You saw that they left the door open, and you tried to stand up but fell from the pain and the loss of blood.

You saw people in uniforms coming in, a green laser from their guns. “Found her!” a man screamed and helped you up. Another soldier helping you as well, leading you out of the room and building. “We’re going to get you out of here chief.” They said and it was an odd feeling of relieve, yet horror. People were screaming all around you, your vision blurry and you fell again. They picked you up and carried you outside. The sun was out, shining brightly on your face. It was hot and still dusty. You looked around you and saw a couple of buildings around you, probably base camp of some sorts. There was a lot of sand, and the sun was already burning you. They gave you water since you were very dehydrated. That was the moment it occurred to you that they didn’t give you food. It might be strange not to think about it earlier but with all the pain and torture going around, that was the last thing on your mind.

They brought you to the rescue helicopter and immediately a doctor looked at your wounds. The way her nose scrunched up and her eyebrows knitted together, didn’t give you the best feeling in the world, even though it was no surprise to you how badly you were injured. Yes, they’ve rescued you out of the building but there was still an immediate danger for your life. The moment the helicopter raised up, a feeling of safety washed over you. A colleague who went along on the mission, held your hand. You wanted to ask where everyone was, but you couldn’t talk, you didn’t know why. She was trying to get every wound stable, her hands grabbing stuff around her as you slipped in and out of consciousness.

“Hey kiddo, come on, stay awake for me, okay?” your colleague begged you. “We’re going to get you home, okay? But you’ve got to stay awake for me.” you squeezed his hand and the doctor spoke up: “This is bad. It’s not looking good right now. Can we go faster?” she asked worried. You just tried to stay focused on your colleague until you felt everything grow very heavy, including your eyelids. You heard people begging around you to stay away and you tried to, but the feeling of your heavy eyelids won.

“Put her on the stretcher!” your colleague shouted. The helicopter was landed on the roof of the hospital, the other doctors already waiting for you. The doctor from the helicopter, staying by your side and keeping the bags of blood transfusion and painkillers, and the IV. Some soldiers put pressure on the wounds inflicted on you. They wheeled you in and Pedro was walking back and forth, biting his nails, hair ruffled, baggy eyes from lack of sleep and crying. His eyes went big as they wheeled you in the hospital and tried to get you as fast to surgery as possible. The doctor from the helicopter, telling the doctors her founding’s. Pedro was by your side in a second and was shocked to see the state that you were in. The tears streamed down his face as he looked at your bloody, bruised body that was covered by wires, bags, and Iv’s. Your colleagues took Pedro away and informed him while the rolled you immediately into surgery.

~time skip~

Your head was pounding, ears still buzzing, and your body started to tense up from anxiety and adrenaline. You heard a familiar beeping sound, speeding up, and you tried to open your eyes. The pain rushed back to you and the room was too light. You whimpered from the pain and felt that somebody was holding your hand. “baby girl?” you heard a very familiar voice, whisper. His voice cracked as he asked you. You tried to blink a few times, but everything looked blurry. You saw Pedro bow a bit down over you. You squeezed his hand in response, your voice still very painful and croaky. You heard someone walk in with heels. Everything in you was now on high alert. You knew you were safe and probably in a hospital yet, your body didn’t know that and was still completely in survival modes. You kept blinking until the blur wasn’t so obvious anymore.

You saw Pedro with tears pooling in his eyes and it broke your heart into a million pieces. This was the man that kept you going so long, that made you want to keep on fighting, keeping you alive, sane, and not so alone. You felt everything crumble down as you let the tears out. A loud sob escaped your throat, hurting you in the process as you tried to reach your arms around him but to no avail. Luckily, Pedro knew what you wanted and very carefully placed his arms around you, and hang a bit over your body, making it look like he was shielding you from every dangerous thing in the world. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and completely broke down as his comforting smell hit your nose, giving you the feeling of safety back.

“Oh, baby girl.” He tried to calm you down, but he was way too emotional as well and cried. You just both held each other, and you tensed every muscle that you had around him, to feel him close even though it pained you. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” That were the first words you told him. He didn’t know why you thanked him at that time, but you were sure to tell him why later. More sobs escaped you and you felt something move the iv in your arm, making you panicked again. Your body jolted from panic as you tried to move Pedro away and look at what was happening. Even though your rational thoughts knew it was a doctor, you just didn’t trust it. You saw a kind face looking at you and before you could do anything she spoke up: “Don’t worry, I’m just readjusting your iv and put some extra medication in against the pain and to keep you relaxed.”

You had a rollercoaster of emotions floating through you right now. From panic, to feeling safe, to feeling scared and in danger to emptiness again. Pedro saw the swirl of emotions in your eyes just like the doctor. Pedro’s heart broke even more, seeing you like this. “Do you remember what happened?” The doctor asked softly and now you finally took in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room, next to a window. It was dark out and you could see lights from the skyscrapers. The lights in the room dimmed but since they kept you in darkness for God knows how long, it obviously pained your eyes,

“How long was I in there?” that was all you needed to know. The doctor looked down with a pained expression just like Pedro. “A week and a half. They found you through some details in the video that was shown public.” You frowned “Public?” you felt your heartbeat go up and the doctor and Pedro looked at the monitor. “Videos of you, and your team being tortured and killed, got leaked to the public…..” and once again, it felt like your world was crashing down on you. “Everyone has seen it?” You asked and your voice cracked. Pedro sniffled and nodded as he looked down for a second before making eye contact. You saw it. you could see it in his eyes, clear as day, that he had seen the things and you felt your heart break once again. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” You weren’t sure why he was apologizing but nodded, tears escaping.

‘How long have I been here?” you decided to ask and change the subject. “2 days or so. We were expecting for you to be asleep for a week, given your injuries.” She told you honest. “What are my injuries exactly?” you looked at her, kind of afraid of her answer. It became dead silent in the room as she handed you the file. You frowned a bit and opened your file. You saw a whole goddamn list of injuries. Broken ribs, 24 stab wounds, collapsed lung, internal bleeding from your abdomen, jaw broken on multiple places, broken eye socket, multiple stiches needed for the cuttings, broken wrist, broken ankle, water found in lungs, badly bruised neck, and the list just went on and on.

You felt tears pooling in your eyes and handed the doctor her files back, not wanting to read more for now. “There will be a psychologist seeing you tomorrow. To adjust ehh.. your mental health…” you nodded and felt a brick on your heart. You just wanted to forget about it all and never talk about it again, but you knew. You knew damn well. You already had PTSD but now…. yeah, you knew the drill, didn’t make it any easier though.

“Thank you.” you tried to steady your voice but failed. She nodded “Can I do something else for you? How is the pain now and do you maybe want to eat or drink something?” she asked you and you didn’t know. Everything was just so intense right now that even answering the easiest questions was too hard. “Do you want some water sweetheart?” Pedro crouched down on eyesight, figuring out what kind of mental state you were in and tried to make it easier for you. Pedro’s voice was so soft and kind that it brought you to tears again. You nodded about drinking some water. “I’ll give you something stronger for the pain.” She decided for herself, and you were glad she did.

You couldn’t look away from Pedro. It felt unreal to see him again. For, apparently, a week and a half you were so sure that you were going to die and never see him again. But you were here and so was he. The doctor walked away, and Pedro found it hard to make eye contact with you. To see the pain in your eyes was too much for him to handle. You brushed your bruise knuckles over the back of his hand. “Please look at me.” You begged him as your voice broke. He slowly looked up, tears in his eyes as well. “Please stay with me. I’m scared.” You told him through tears as you confessed and that was what broke him the most, hearing you, the person he knew that wasn’t afraid of anything, tell him that you were scared. Tears fell onto his cheeks.

He intertwined your fingers, and you cupped his cheek to softly wipe the tears of his cheek. “Can you please hold me?” you sniffled, having enough of being strong right now. You just wanted to be held so badly. He nodded “Of course, mi Chica.” He sniffled and kissed your forehead as he stood up, letting his lips linger on your forehead. Your hands carefully held his wrist that ever so carefully cupped your cheek. Pedro sniffled again and let his forehead rest against yours. “I was so afraid to lose you.” Pedro confessed as his tears escaped his eyes again. “I was afraid that I was never going to see you again, tell you how much I love you, hold you.” he kept confessing and somehow you felt relieved yet pained that he felt the same thing as you did. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here now.” you sniffled through your own tears. He nodded and took a deep breath to control himself.

You tried to scoop over so Pedro could lay down next to you, but the pain was too much. “Lie still sweetheart, I don’t want you to be in more pain as it is.” You whimpered slightly. You didn’t care about the pain, you wanted Pedro to cuddle you, and the determination was visible on your eyes as he chuckled softly, but it also told him in how much of desperation you were for him right now.

The doctor walked back in and softly knocked, exposing her presence as not to scare you. You and Pedro looked at her and as if she figured out what you wanted, she smiled kindly at you. “We could put an extra bed besides you, if you’d like…” she told the two of you with a smile. You nodded and tried to give her a genuine smile back but failed. She gave you a bottle of water with a straw in and put the things besides you to your other side. Pedro helped her with the bed and placed it tightly against yours. Pedro took his shoes off and climbed in next to you as the doctor put some stronger medication into your iv. “There you go, you should be able to sleep a bit now. Get some rest, you and your body need it right now. And if there is anything, anything at all, just press this button and I’m here within seconds.” You could cry at how kind she was right now. It probably was because of the week and a half full of torture and hate that it felt unnatural that someone was kind. It just felt off.

You whispered a small thank you and looked at her with tears in your eyes. She gave you an apologetic smile back and nodded, walking out of the room. You looked at Pedro who held a close eye on you, as suspected. He carefully placed his arm underneath your head so you could rest on it. “I’ll hold you on one condition.” It felt like he was strict right now “If it pains you, you tell me, okay? and we figure another way out, alright baby girl?” He asked you and looked deeply into your eyes so the message would be clear. You nodded and let him hold you. He laid down on his side, his other arm around you and you let your head rest against his shoulder. “Thank you.” you whispered out. You felt the meds kicking in like a brick. It got you relaxed and sleepy and it worked like a charm. Your eyes heavy again and you fell asleep in no time just not for long. Night terrors are a common symptom of PTSD and even though you were safe, it wasn’t over.

“baby girl wake up! Sweetheart! please wake up…..” Pedro tried to wake you up from a bad night terror. The doctor and nurses ran into the room. “Miss…. Miss, you’re dreaming wake up.” but nothing worked so they decided to doze up your medication until you shot up straight in bed, completely out of breath, still in a panic. You were in the hospital, but the flashbacks got you back into the chamber and in everyone around you, you saw those terrorists. You screamed on the top of your lungs and tried to fight them off. Pedro was shocked in horror at how bad this was. I mean, of course he knew it was bad, he saw the videos. But the moment you didn’t recognize Pedro, he knew you needed help. Tears floating in his eyes again when a nurse ran out of the room. Even though, you are very badly injured, your need to survival was stronger, making you inhumanly strong from the adrenaline right now.

Pedro walked up to you while the nurses tried to hold you down, so you wouldn’t tear up the stitches. Pedro was determined to bring you back and cupped your cheeks. Your eyes were extremely big, pupils blown as he looked desperately in your eyes. “Baby girl, it’s me, Pedro. Remember? Your safe, I won’t let anything bad happen to you, look at me Chiquita. Come on, I know you’re in there. please, I need you.” his voice begging you more with each word. You slowly stopped struggling and Pedro could see it in your eyes that you were back. Your heartrate slowly going down, while you tried to catch your breath and looked around you in shock of what you just did. Tears forming in your eyes. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry… I eh…..” you were shocked in horror at how bad it was, I mean, it’s to be suspected but still, how could you forget your Pedge? They all took a deep breath that you were back. Pedro softly petted over your hair in order to calm you down more and letting you know that he is there. “I’m sorry…” you looked teary eyed at the nurses and doctors.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. It’s not a little thing you went through. IT completely understandable. But thank you for apologizing even though you don’t have to.” You felt tears running over your cheeks as the realization hit you that you were going to have to deal with a lot of things. You just started crying, feeling so extremely defeated that for a moment, you whished they just would’ve killed you and that thought made you even cry more because on the other hand you were happy to be alive and with Pedro, but it was all so much and confusing with all these emotions running through your body.

You tried to collect your head when a nurse spoke up: “Would you like to maybe watch a movie or something light? It might help you fall asleep a bit more peaceful and distract you.” The other nurses exchanged looks as if it was a good idea and to be honest, you would like that. You tried to give her a smile and nodded “That might be a good idea. I would like that.” She smiled and nodded.

She gave you the tv remote and told you that Netflix was available. The nurses still gave you the medication to calm you down if you would have another flashback. Pedro noticed your need for distraction right now and he gave you all the room and time to share your story with him, whenever you are ready. He was just relieved that he had you back in his arms again.

Pedro was glued to your side, and you didn’t mind it one bit, you needed him to be as close as possible. You both watched the Golden Girls. Pedro told you about the show once and you decided to watch a couple of episodes with him and you loved it. Even though you tried to focus on the tv but you kept going back to that moment which you thought would be your last. “I thought I would never see you again.” You whispered as your head was resting on his chest in a way that didn’t hurt you. You felt Pedro shift and you knew he was looking at you, so you looked up.

You felt your eyes filled up with tears again for the millionth time that day. “I thought I was going to die there and all I could think about was you.” Pedro felt his heart break and tears escaped his eyes but didn’t say something. He just let you speak, knowing you weren’t finished telling him. “All I could think of that week and a half was you. You kept me going when I wanted to die. They put me in a chamber for so long in complete darkness and I would talk to the wall, pretending I was talking to you. It kept me somehow sane.” Pedro listened intently to every word you told him. He was absolutely gob smacked to what you confessed and how much he meant to you.

“When they would…. When they did those things to me… I wanted nothing more than to die right on the spot, hoping they would have mercy and take me out of my misery but… when those thoughts came, so did you, it was like you pushed those thoughts away and when they would…. torture me… all I thought was about happy memories of us. Of us in Disneyland, dancing in the livingroom, sneaking into a theater to see the reaction of people who watched you on the big screen. Every happy memory I could think of, was with you. You kept me going, kept me fighting to survive.”

Pedro couldn’t help but cry from the moving words you confessed to him. “I thought… I was never going to see you again. I wanted to tell you so many things, hug you and see you for the last time. I was so sure of it to never see you again, and so convinced I was going to die there and already accepting my faith, that… that it feels weird to see you again. Like it all isn’t real and I’m just imagining it, like I’m going crazy, and I’ve finally lost it in there that I’m imagining all of this. I don’t know what’s real or not anymore….” Pedro was silently letting his tears fall until you confessed that you weren’t sure if this was real. That part brought determination to him.

“Mi corazon…. This is real, I’m real. You are safe but I understand that you don’t feel that way… that it messes with your head. But I know you trust me, and let me tell you, this is real. He carefully took your hand in his and placed it on his chest where his heart is. “You feel that? That’s real. All of this is real. I’m lost for words to your story… it… I …. I love you too. I’m so sorry that this happened, really, I can’t express it enough. And I love you too, I really do. When you’re fully recovered, we are going to make so many more happy memories. So much more that it won’t leave room for the bad” he told you and his digit softly tapping against your head. “We’ll get through this, together. I won’t leave your side and when you can get out of here, please stay at my house for a while. I’ll take care of you, love you through the good and the bad and won’t ever leave you. Come here sweetheart, your safe now.” he told you and let you cry it out while he comforted you through it.

“I would like that, to stay a while with you after this.” you talked through the sniffles.

~time skip~

It’s been over 3 months and you moved in with Pedro for a while. You had trauma therapy at least 3 times in the week and the aftermath of the event was unbelievable heavy. Panic attacks, night terrors, flashbacks, dissociation. Your triggers were enormous. Like the shower already triggered you from the waterboarding. Not to forget that your body was still recovering. It was tough but Pedro kept true to his word, not that you thought differently but still. He had soooo much patience and helped you through every flashback, every night terror, every panic attack, he was there, and you could count on him.

You’ve been given a while from work to readjust. But you still had court sittings. You had to testify against some of the terrorists that were still alive and in captivity. They had all the recordings, inclusive the last video, just before you got rescued. They haven’t shown that tape to the public but now would be the first time and obviously, Pedro was there to support you. They played the tape, and you couldn’t look. You couldn’t look at the screen, couldn’t look at the people in court, couldn’t look at Pedro because you knew, what you though were, your last words.

Every now and then your curiosity got the best of you and stole a glance from Pedro who stared in disbelieve at the screen, tears going over his cheek as he shook his head. The moment you looked in the camera, you looked up at the screen. God you looked bad, like really bad in that video that you are shocked yourself that you even made it out alive. That was how bad you looked like.

You looked down again and heard through the speakers in the court room: “I love you Pedge.” Pedro’s eyes went wide and immediately landed on you, the pool of tears visible in his eyes as he tried to give you a loving smile. Which you tried to return but in both of your expressions, there was too much pain. The people in the room went silent and the judge as well, everyone was taken aback by the horrors that played out on the screen.

~time skip~

Pedro opened the door of his car for you and helped you in. both of you were still lost for words after the video being played. Not only that, but you also saw how the people of your team die. It was a very hard day. The terrorist won’t be seeing the daylight ever in their life and you couldn’t care less about it right now. so many emotions going through you. “Why don’t we pick up some ice cream for at home?” Pedro softly asked you, both of you still not mentioned about what you said in the video. “Yeah, sure.” You told him and there was a thick silence again that you both felt. You looked over at Pedro who had tears in his eyes as he tried to concentrate on the way. You knew that this hit him very hard. You placed your hand gently on his and he looked over at you, trying to push his tears away. “I told you, I was thinking about you all the time. I just… I thought I was going to die and… and I didn’t want to go out without saying that I loved you. I needed you to know that.” Pedro parked on the side of the road and sniffled. He got out of the car without saying anything and it almost had sent you into a complete panic attack. He opened your door and you looked at him, afraid of what was to come.

He wrapped his arms tightly around you as he sat on his knees on the ground and held you tightly while some sobs escaped his own throat. His face was against your stomach, and you went with your fingers through his hair and held him tightly with your other arm. When he calmed down after a while, he sniffled. “I’m sorry. It’s different to really see it on video. I wanted to attack that guy so bad because of what eh has done to you. it made me furious and to hear you say, what you thought were your last moments. I just… it hit me that… that you wanted your last words….” He couldn’t finish it, but you knew what he meant. To direct your last words to him.

You cupped his cheeks and gave him for the first time in a very, very long time a genuine smile. He started laughing through his tears and put his arms around you in a big hug. “I love you too and there won’t be a day gone by without me saying that to you. I love you to the moon and back.” he kissed your head multiple times. “Like you said, we’ll get through this together.” Pedro smiled and held you tightly. “So how about that ice cream, and cuddles when we get home? We could watch a movie if you’d like?” he told you enthusiastic which made you smile, genuinely again. It hyped Pedro even more up to finally see that beautiful smile after 3 months. “That sounds very nice Pedge. I’d like that.” You told him and he drove off with a smile as he held your hand.

#Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal stories #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #Pedro pascal fanfic #Pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x ofc #pedro pascal x y/n #Pedro pascal imagines #Pedro pascal angst #fanfiction angst #pedro pascal story #pedro pascal oneshot

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ao3-oner · 6 months ago

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you are such an amazing reader i've slammed through all your works in the past few days. i simply cannot get enough! what are some of your favourite fics from lol rpf (not gwen because i've consumed all of her content too lol) ?

Lmao thank you for the compliment! I'm going to assume that you meant "amazing writer," but we'll see if my fic recs are good enough to prove me a passable reader as well!

ALSO YOU DID NOT NEED TO CLOCK ME AS A GWEN FANBOY OKAY lol, it's a completely accurate assessment of what my list would have looked like without your specification but damn. I guess I'll shut up about her. Her fics are so good, though...

I'll do it like this: if you've read all my works, then you're familiar with my core four ships (GK, OZ, CS, and RL), so I'll recommend two fics for each of those ships, plus two Gen fics because imo all Gen fics need more love. I'll limit myself to doing one fic per author because there are too many talented fic writers in this fandom to count, and I'll also try to make one fic for each ship more lh while the other can be angstier (since Idk which you'd prefer). Also disclaimer that I will only be including English fics in this list - I have dabbled in Google translate and thoroughly enjoyed some of the non-English fics I've read, but I do not feel comfortable recommending them as someone who cannot understand the original language. Hopefully, you'll find some stuff on here that you like!

Let's start with the GuKe (the inability to recommend Gwen's fics is absolutely killing me here):

no rules in breakable heaven by Maria Swift, Rated T, 12,000 words (you will need to be logged in to AO3 to read this one)

This was one of the first fics in the fandom I ever read and I absolutely loved it. It's meetcute college AU GuKe with a side of "and they were roommates" that's just very fun and entertaining to read. Definitely a great feel-good fic and one that I've returned to a handful of times when I need a pick-me-up. Super well-written, as well.

Phantom, Be Still In My Heart by seralove, Unrated (there is some sensitive content but nothing too graphic), 10,500 words

I was lucky enough to read this fic when it first came out and ohhhh my God did it make me feel things. This is canon (well, not quite) Worlds GuKe with a healthy portion of angst, and the descriptions are all very emotional. This fic kind of ruined me, in a good way, so just be prepared for that and definitely give it a read.

For the One2eus fics, I have the pleasure of recommending two of my favorite fic writers in the entire fandom:

lightning storm by sightstone (symmetrophobic), Rated T, 8,500 words

Reading this fic was part of what inspired me to start writing for this fandom in the first place. It's cute, it's sweet, it's absolutely hilarious - I laughed out loud multiple times while reading it. Definitely check out the other works by sightstone, too, especially her ongoing GuKe fae fic that currently has me brainrotting like crazy.

just look at me now (i'm lovesick) by screamtail, Rated E for smut, 3,500 words

Honestly, all of screamtail's works are iconic and recommendable, but for some reason, this one stuck with me a bit more than the others. I think it's probably the angst undertone and the brilliant descriptions that really made it stick in my mind. It explores the OZ dynamic from Zeus's perspective while offering some high-quality pwp content, so what's not to love?

Now if you're a CanMaker fan like me, you've probably already read all of the English fics in the tag (as you should, as have I), but I'll shoutout some of my personal favorites here:

we're magnetized (I admit it) by dustedpeach, Rated T, 15,000 words

I did not know how desperately I needed cat cafe AU Gen.G in my life until I read this fic. There could be a 100 volume series solely about this AU cafe and all of its shenanigans and I would eat up every chapter of it. In addition to the world building being truly visionary, the CanShow content is (naturally) super adorable and I will always love Canyon being a simp.

If only time were kinder by Chastelove, Rated T, 3,000 words

Speaking of fics that messed me up, Christ, my heart after reading this! Idk how I'm going to be okay. I might not. It's just... Apocalypse AU CanMaker. That's it. Read it. Please. I can't suffer alone anymore-

Since both of these recs are from AUs, if you're looking for more canon CanMaker (CanonMaker??), or if you're looking for something a bit spicier, I'd definitely recommend snow by chovying as well. It's another amazing and adorable fic, and the only reason that I didn't recommend it above is that it felt like a copout answer to push a fic that was gifted to me - like of course I love that fic! You should definitely read it and give it all the kudos in the world, though.

Finally (for the ship fics, at least), we have my beloved RuLehends. Much like CanMaker, true fans of this ship will have already read all of the English fics on AO3 for it, but I'll still take the opportunity to squeal about some of them:

told you so by Aurelion8(Monochrome01), Rated E for smut, 2,000 words

On its own, this is a short, sweet and smutty pwp fic, but I am once again encouraging you to read all of the fics by this writer because there are only three of them but they all go insanely hard - especially we're still here, but really 3/3 are bangers. The reason I specifically recommended told you so was that it's like... the closest RuLehends ever gets to not being angsty? Lmao, these two really just have angst and smut encoded into their dynamic. But seriously, you should read all three of Aurelion8's fics. They are hot and lovely and I am eagerly awaiting whenever they post next.

i feel it burning me (i feel it burning you) by speaktothemoon, Rated M for implied sexual content (imho it could prob be T), 12,500 words

Ughhh this fic is just so good. It does such an excellent job of capturing the complex and heartbreaking relationship that Siwoo and Jaehyuk share while diving into what happened behind closed doors in 2022. I may have cried while reading it. Tears of joy but also sorrow because wtf... these two really will be the death of me.

Last but certainly not least, we have a pair of Gen fics aka shipless fics that I cannot recommend enough! Honestly, this category was the hardest to pick two from by far, but here's what I have for you:

In which T1 accidentally summons the Unkillable Demon King by ginger_owl, Unrated (for violence purposes), 35,500 words and ongoing

Ginger is 100% another writer who you should just click the account name for and read everything on there - her Star Guardian AU, Welcome to Summoner's Rift, it's all brilliant beyond words. The reason I chose this fic specifically is it's the first one I read (also one of the first LoL RPF fics I ever read) and that makes me nostalgic for it. It's basically what it says on the tin - high school AU where ZOGK are students and they summon the demon Faker. The worldbuilding and characterizations in her fics are always a highlight, and I'd strongly recommend reading through her entire corpus!

they light candles in rome by keres (DeerGoBonk), Rated G, 9,000 words + an 18,000 word in-depth analysis in chapter 2 because legend???

Okay as someone who's a bit of a mythology nerd... this fic made me think for a very long time. It is gorgeous and tragic and definitely worth reading through multiple times. It will make you think, then if you read keres's own analysis in the following chapter it will make you think even more. It's indescribable, really, so just def go read it for yourself!

I've just realized that both of those recs are T1-centric (but honestly, aren't most fics in the fandom?) but so are all of the other Gen fics I wanted to recommend, so.... if you're looking for non-T1, non-romance-based fics, might I recommend Metro Lines and Their Prismatic Tears? :3

God, this is making me think that I should write more platonic fics... Like Master Yourself (Master Your Enemy) was supposed to be Gen, but then the CanShow leaked into it a bit too much... honestly though? I should change that back to being marked as Gen. Platonic Lucid & Canyon is still very much the central relationship there. I'm also proud of myself for writing How It Feels to Chew 5 Gum... 2024 KT Rolster, I will miss you dearly... You should also read the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb by this excellent author named gw- *Jhin 4th shot comes through the window*

One more thing: it didn't fit into any of my arbitrary above categories, but my favorite ongoing fic/the fic that I'm currently most excited to keep reading is definitely:

off with your head by oathsworn (onelastchence), KiinCuzz with background Bddker, Rated E for death and violence, 12,000 words and ongoing

The Netflix adaptation of Alice in Borderlands is one of my favorite live action shows of all time, so needless to say I am eagerly seated for an LoLRPF AU/retelling of the story. The writing and narrative has been incredible so far, and I would love to recruit more readers to join me on the journey that is reading this fic!

Thanks for the ask! I sincerely hope you enjoy all of these fics as much as I have, and please don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts on all of them. Also, remember to leave kudos and comments on all of the fics you do enjoy, because it really means a lot to the writers and they all deserve more love than I alone could possibly offer them <3

Have a nice night, and happy Halloween!!

#oner-answers #rpf #this halloween im going to dress as something terrifying #like t1 canyon #I'll commission a custom T1 jersey with canyon's name on it #and scare all my mutuals >:)

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yourlocalartsonist · 2 years ago

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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Eight

A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OH MY GOD. I genuinely didn’t expect it to, chapter 8 was supposed to be way shorter but uh yk my brain didn’t like that apparatnly. So now it’s uh 10K words. I think it’s genuinely worth the wait and read tho so hey, alls well that ends well or something. I’m gonna try to be faster with updates now. I’m FAIRLY CERTAIN chapter nine will be much shorter or at least nothing crazy like 8 or 10k. But what I can guarantee is chapters 10-13 will most definitely be short and lead up to the grand arc finale of chapter 14. We’re getting pretty close to it and I’m literally vibrating from excitement but no spoilers. Anyway enjoy the chapter! :D

Credit to: @sweaterrat and @yosajaeofficial for being my beloved beta readers! This story wouldn’t be able to have the quality it does without them so please give them some love and check out their ROTTMNT stories too!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter involves depressive thoughts, mentions of bullying, depressed behavior, mentions of Kr*ng, PTSD behavior, violence, very lightly graphic description of injuries, blood, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe!

Outside the window, you can make out a bird’s nest sat in one of the trees. It’s been here for a week now, perfectly timed with when I got back to a consistent school life. But lately, the mother’s been staying at the nest more often. I’m guessing they’ve got babies on the way, she’s probably incubating her eggs right now. I think I’ve gotten attached to them, that small family of robins. The parents are so dedicated, aren’t they? The mother especially, never leaving the nest unless absolutely necessary.

On the contrary to my peaceful view, the classroom is noisy, hectic, and cluttered. No real science work for today so everyone’s just doing their own thing. Very loudly. Jaiden and Zane are chatting and laughing with each other next to me. I think things are better between us, I still don’t really know where Jaiden and I stand right now but at least Zane seems fine with me. Though I won’t lie, I’ve been feeling more and more like a third wheel around them.

“Dude! I’m telling you, we have to play this game together! We’d have so much fun!”

“I already said I would, Jaiden! Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh like this. Shame you’re letting such a pretty smile go to waste.”

“Yeah? Let’s hang out more often then and maybe I won’t do that.”

Like right now.

Lowkey, I’ve been feeling invisible around those two. Jaiden barely pays any attention to me, it’s as if Zane was their best friend instead of me! I mean, I know friends can drift apart, I definitely know. But still, I never imagined it would happen to us. I still don’t wanna believe that’s what’s happening. I wanna keep hope.

“And ironically, you’re being pretty quiet today, Salena. Did you two switch personalities or something?”

“You are weirdly quiet, actually. What’s up?”

Oh lookie, I’ve been acknowledged. “Nah, you guys don’t have to worry about me. Just lower on energy than usual.”

I went back to my routine of staring out the window like the main character in a music video. In the reflection, Zane was still watching me. With the way his eyes lingered, I had a feeling he’s not falling for my excuse.

Seems like Jaiden’s not too worried, though. “Oh, Zane! You wanna hear about this new skate park I found?” Just went right back at it with Zane. Who’s weirdly still staring at me.

“…Actually, I’m kinda hungry. Jaiden, you mind getting me a snack from the vending machine?”

“Huh? But I wouldn’t know what to get you. N-not that I don’t pay attention to what you like! But, you know… Salena has better taste in these things! She should go-”

“She always goes.”

“‘Cause she knows what she’s doing.”

“Jaiden.”

“Guys, it’s fine! It’s fine. I’ve got this.” I didn’t want them to fight again so I got up from my seat. “Be back soon.”

Jaiden gave me their most gleeful smile I’ve seen them make in a while. I think seeing them smile makes this gesture worthwhile. Even if it’s just for a little bit.

The walk to the vending machine shouldn’t have been long, it’s not super far away. But my legs dragged on forcing each step to be slower than the last. I feel guilty thinking like this but a part of me wants this dumb walk to go on forever. I can’t stand being near them and I don’t know why! It’s not like we’ve got bad blood, they’ve both been normal towards me since I came back. So why am I acting like this? I’m seriously starting to doubt Splinter’s theory of me not being the problem here…

I approached the machine, stopping as I heard a struggling voice in front of me.

“Argh! How’d she say these things worked again?”

His finger pressed against the glass, tracing the code for the snack he wanted. He tapped the buttons on the screen. Nothing happened. Scratching his head, he leaned forward to read the next instructions. Finally, he pulled out a dollar bill.

…Before proceeding to insert it in the wrong way. And taking it out. And inserting it back in. And repeating the process. I can feel my soul exiting my body from second-hand embarrassment.

I recognized the fluffy black hair. With a crooked smile, I pulled out my own wallet.

“You’re supposed to put it in this way.” I slid my bill into the slot, the granola bar he selected successfully being pushed down soon after. “Good to see you again.”

“Woah, cool!” He stared at the giant food box almost with a childlike wonder, pausing for a few minutes before turning to me. “And hey! Yeah, it’s really nice seeing you again, too.” His eyes remained locked for a while before he scrambled to hand me the bill he had. “Here! Let me pay you back-“

“No, no, no, don’t worry about it! Really! Consider it my apology for, um, last time.”

“Apology? I mean, you weren’t the one doing anything weird so I don’t think you’ve gotta apologize.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Casey Jones Jr. I was gonna introduce myself the first time we met but, you know.”

“Salena Moni! So, how’s everything holding up? You joined pretty late in the year so if you need any help reviewing stuff I’m more than happy to.”

“Oh, don’t worry! It’s actually going alright. Still technically my first time going to a real school, so it’s a little bit of a challenge but I already knew most of the material anyways. I didn’t have to catch up on much.”

“Wow, that is… remarkably impressive.” If only I handled transferring as well as this guy. “Wait, hold up, real school? Were you homeschooled?”

“You could… say that. My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew! Just turns out it was literally everything.”

“Cool! I guess we can check grades off the box, then! So, is everyone being nice? Made any friends?”

I bit my lip as I received my answer in the form of his face freezing mid-speech. “W-well uh…”

Oh, you poor thing…

I guess he could read my face since he immediately tried reassuring me, as if he wasn’t the victim in this scenario. “I-I mean it’s not awful! A couple people were nice to me, including you! Sure, some are a little… hostile. But it’ll get better eventually.”

“Y-yeah! It definitely… definitely will.”

And cue the classic awkward silence that stars in any first conversation. A little overdue for this one now that I’m thinking about it.

I’m so conflicted. I know damn well he’s not gonna have the high school dream he’s probably imagining right now. No one does. I may not have been at this school for long, but I’ve been here long enough to know how the people are. April told me it gets even worse every year as cliques start getting established and people grow past the initial politeness. I’m glad she did, she never kept anything about high school from me no matter how bad it was. Nothing was in my control but at least I knew it was coming.

And here I am playing the exact opposite role for Casey. I hate giving people false hope, I hate it with a passion! But I’m supposed to, I think. In a situation like this I’m supposed to hype him up. Ignorance is bliss! Wouldn’t it just ruin his spirits if I broke the glass?

“Anyway, it was nice to meet you! I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yep! Hope things get better for you soon!”

“Me too.”

Ugh, the guilt is eating me up! I’m acting like I’ve never told a lie in my life but it’s not that. It’s his pure mindset that’s completely fucking with my morality!

I know to keep my mouth shut, I do. I don’t want him to hate me like everyone else does. I haven’t met someone who’s been so nice to me in this stupid ass school before, I don’t want to ruin this chance now that I finally got it. Plus, he might not even believe me…

I watched him turn to walk away.

Fuck it, social norms are for losers!

“W-wait! Casey?” He turned back around and I nearly shit myself from fear. “So, don’t be mad but I may have um… lied about something?”

“Uh, sorry?”

I took a deep breath, bracing myself. “Well, here’s the deal. Things aren’t really gonna get better, sorry. Or, actually! I don’t mean that extremely literally, I guess...”

Focus on your hands, it’ll be okay. “Just… People here are mean. Really, really mean. You’re homeschooled, you’re new, and you’re nice. It’s a recipe for disaster here whether it’s today or even a year after you’ve settled in!”

I can’t even read his expression and get an idea of his reaction. He’s got a scary good poker face, I’m curious which relative taught him that one.

“Casey, please don’t take this the wrong way. I-I’m not saying any of it is your fault! Or that you need to change or do anything. I’m only saying this so you don’t have any… unrealistic expectations so to speak.”

God, his silence is more terrifying than anticipated.

So much so I couldn’t help letting out a quiet breath of relief when he finally did speak. “You know, you’re the first person here who’s told me that.”

“…Is that bad?”

“Not at all. All my family, they never got the chance to go to school. Hell, I didn’t think I’d have the opportunity. But here I am! First time in a new building with weird people and absolutely no clue what to expect. I’m usually good with surprises but this one is just so… different. Different is scary, you know?”

I nodded. I most definitely did know.

“Anyway, you’re right that people are just mean here. I don’t even know why, I mean, I’ve met my fair share of dicks before but at least they had good reasons! We were under so much stress… But that’s not what I hate. It’s the fact that any time I tell an adult, they say the same thing over and over again!”

“Let me guess.” I cleared my throat and enhanced the performance with my intoxicated Mrs. Doubtfire voice. “Just ignore them and give it time and it’ll magically fix itself ‘cause boredom beats bullies or some shit, right?”

“Yeah, exactly!” His laugh is like holding your parent’s hand when you’re getting the flu shot, it’s magical! “They say that to everyone, don’t they? God, what’s up with that? I’m so not used to adults lying to me.”

“Dude, what? You’re kidding, your whole community’s gotta be amazing if you’ve never been lied to by an adult.”

“Eh, more or less… Anyway, um, thank you. For telling me the truth. And the granola bar. I seriously owe you for this.”

…I take it back, Splinter might’ve actually been onto something.

I mean, he’s a little strange, I won’t lie about that. This is the first time I’ve heard someone actually be grateful for me telling the truth. In the past it either got me isolated or in huge trouble, depending on who I was honest with. Maybe this is why I’m so used to lying. I hate it but I’ve had to do it so much. I’ve never met someone who finally lets me relax about it, not until Casey Jr it seems.

Maybe he deserves me being a little braver for a change.

“Well, here’s a way you can repay me. By us being friends!”

…

This was a lot more epic in my head without his speechless pause. Maybe I got the vibe wrong-

“REALLY!? OMIGOSH! That would be so cool! I’ve literally been thinking about asking you the same thing ‘cause I keep wanting to talk to you but never run into you but now we can talk whenever we want, IT’LL BE GREAT!!!” Spoke too soon, he is literally shaking me by the shoulders. It feels unnatural not being on the other side of this scenario.

“Casey, my stomach doesn’t approve of this-“

“Sorry, sorry!” He finally stopped and allowed me to remember the pleasant feeling of absolute stillness. “I just can’t believe you actually wanna be friends with me!”

Still, his surprising enthusiasm gave me a good laugh. “Dude, it’s alright! It’s kinda more surprising you wanna be friends with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met in my entire life, anyone who’s friends with you is lucky to have you!”

Lucky to have me?

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, unexpected compliments go burn in a fire but also don’t leave, it actually feels really nice.

“Salena, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

“N-no, I mean, all I did was buy you a snack and tell you people are jerks. I’m not too sure I should be receiving the title of the ‘kindest person you’ve ever met’ and stuff.”

“O-oh yeah, you have a point.” He got a little flustered at that, despite it really being my fault for not being able to take compliments. “I don’t know, I mean, I still think you’re really cool. I’m just so happy you wanna be friends with me!”

He looked like a child on Christmas morning as I tippy-tapped my number into his phone. Come to think of it, I know I’ve definitely reacted excitedly towards certain people - or turtles, I should say - but having someone do it to me? Feels kinda nice.

I looked up at the clock. “Shit. We should probably head back to class before we get in trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. But hey,” his eyes closed as the corners delightfully wrinkled “it was great running into you again! Fate really wants us to be friends.”

He has a really nice smile.

“Funny how life works, ay?”

I skipped my way back to class, mind too deep in thought to realize how fast I went.

This guy, Casey Jones, he’s giving me certain vibes. I don’t mean the creepy, stalkerish, "I need to get the hell outta here” vibes. More like deja-vu. I can’t pin what exactly, but something about him feels so… foreign yet familiar. Homey, if you may. Like a nice, warm fire in mid-winter night. It’s really soothing.

And immediately I’m thrown into emotional whiplash as I went back inside the annoying ass classroom of teenage chaos. So much for soothing vibes. I plopped back in my desk as Zane slowly scanned me.

“You took a while. Did you get my snack?…”

…Fuck. “Sorry! I completely forgot!”

“How did you forget when it’s the literal reason you even left?” Jaiden doesn’t seem as chipper as before.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I got a bit distracted. Gimmie a sec, I’ll be right back-”

“No, wait! It’s fine, I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Really? Okay, suit yourself.” I shrugged, getting settled in again. He leaned closer to me, both confused and concerned.

“You seem happier right now. Did something good happen?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess! Just ran into a new friend.”

His face scrunched up, going back to chatting with Jaiden. I have no clue why he glared when I said that, I don’t think I said anything wrong or alarming. Honestly, bro has worse mood swings than I do. It's seriously annoying sometimes but whatever, they’ve gone back to their little bubble now so I shall go back to mine.

I pulled out my phone, greeted with Casey’s excited text already.

CJ: Hey! Not really doing anything in class so if you’re free too, text me back :D

Smiling, I let myself get engrossed in my phone, happily typing away. He’s a fun guy to talk to. His enthusiasm and bubbliness is a little surprising considering how borderline timid he seemed at first. Goes to show, never judge a book by its cover! I felt my mood lifting, less gloomier than before.

Until I remembered something he said.

“My uncle taught me everything, he was the smartest person I knew!”

Was?...

***

Ah, midnight. A time when the mentally sane and emotionally stable would be sleeping. Turns out I’m neither of those folks, I’ve got better things to do. I have weapons now but I’ve gotta actually practice using them if I don’t wanna render them useless. Besides, in bed or out here, I’m not falling asleep either way. At least this serves as a good distraction! And won’t give me a headache like my phone will.

The blades cut through the air as I twirled them, striking at an imaginary enemy soon after.

I try not to think about life when I’m training, it distracts me too much. Sometimes I feel like Casey’s the only thing making school bearable anymore. We don’t share any classes so we text more than talk but I don’t have to do any mental gymnastics to figure out how he views me. I’m still confused as hell if Jaiden likes me or hates me and have no damn clue what Zane’s deal is anymore. He keeps staring at me. More than usual. Sure, I could always sit there and ponder for hours on end what the fuck is going on, but I doubt even that’d get any results.

The sickles, however, do show results. They feel lighter, smoother, easier to duel. I’m getting faster with them and my arms don’t feel as broken after training anymore! It’s something I can lose myself in, track the improvement. It’s so much simpler than everything else.

It keeps my mind occupied. If I focus on them, I don’t think about anyone from school or anything bad that’s happening! Or at least, I usually don't. I guess I’m thinking about it now, though…

“Someone’s training hard.”

“AHH!!!”

Immediately I jerked to turn and held up a blade in defense. However, it turned out to be a false alarm as instead of some midnight mugger I expected to see, I’m greeted with a smirking blue idiot standing in front of me.

“Woah, hey! I come in peace!” The stupid bitch held his hands up, mocking me with his fake fear. “Been a while, huh?”

“Leo? Oh god, you scared me! Where did you even come from?”

“The better question would be: Where did you disappear to? We haven’t gone out in like a week! You kept leaving me on read when I texted you but seemed fine in the group chat. What gives?”

“…I forgor?”

“Really?” I could tell he wasn’t satisfied by my answer. “You just forgot to respond to me? Every single time?”

“W-well sorta. I mean, it’s nothing you did so please don’t take it personally! It’s with everyone. I’ve just been a little bad at responding to dms…” My social battery’s been so low lately I question if it’s even charged at all. “That’s entirely on me, though! I’m so sorry.”

He crossed his arms and looked me up and down. He’s doing that nonchalant poker face again, the one he does when he doesn’t wanna be read, otherwise he’s an open book.

“You know you can tell me if something’s up, right?”

I guess he also does that face when he’s trying to read someone else. “Yeah, I know. I’m alright. It’s just… I dunno, things are a little weird but it’s fine. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

He hummed in response. I don’t really think he bought it but his eyes eventually drifted to my weapons, dropping the topic regardless. He must not wanna push it.

“Sooo, sick weapons! Where’d you get ‘em?”

“Oh, these? Draxum gave them to me!”

He gagged, interrupting me. “You met Draxum? The sheep guy? Oh, poor you! Was he awful to deal with? I bet he was! You know, like always.”

“Oh come on, he wasn’t that bad! A little grouchy at first but in his defense, I caught him in the middle of his shift, so.”

“Please, sheep bitch doesn’t need a reason to be a jerk! He’s just an old cranky loser who spends his days yelling at kids and smuggling whatever mystic bullshit of the week he found from the Hidden City! It’s giving Oscar the Grouch, just missing the lemon. Oh wait, that’s ‘cause unlike Oscar, he doesn’t even have one single thing that makes him uncharacteristically happy!”

“Wow, angry aren’t we?” It’s rude to laugh, but I can’t help myself around this dork. He looks like a kid who got denied an Xbox when he crosses his arms like that. “Leo, be real. This is because he threw you off a roof, isn’t it?”

“You know!? I mean-“ He laughed, trying to hide his poorly made lie. “What? Of course not… Maybe just a little but that’s not important.”

Leo grumbled on with some incoherent noises for a minute, before cooling down and moving on from the “sheep bitch”.

“Ugh, well anyway, if you got it from that moron, they’re definitely mystic or something, right?”

“Oh, absolutely! They’re actually super cool, I mean-“ For a good five minutes I kept blabbering on and on about the sickles and how they function and all my progress that I didn’t notice Leo - bless his heart - trying and horrifically failing to pay attention. He doesn’t really hide it well when he spaces out.

“And they- Uh, Leo, you good?”

“…Would you be mad if I said I got like, none of that?”

I sighed but gave a gentle smile. I knew he had a short attention span so I can’t really act like it’s his fault I forgot about that.

“Actually, do you want me to just like… act it out instead? I think I’ve gotten pretty good at using these so I don’t mind showing instead of telling!”

He shrugged “Nothin’s stopping you. Go on, impress me!”

Well, nothing except my nerves. But hey, it’s just Leo. If I mess up, he’ll laugh with me a bit and then I’ll just retry. No real pressure around him. I could use a progress check right now, anyway.

“Aight, so we only know two out of who knows how many powers for these things, they’re the only two I’ve been practicing. First up!”

I spun them around, careful to not mess up my handling. My goal is to form blades strong enough to crack a dent through the concrete edge of this building. So the sickles need to be made out of metal or steel. I usually go with metal but I do actually wanna impress him and steel’s stronger. I aimed at the edge and swung my arm forward, the sickle shot through the air and sliced through the concrete like a knife to a cake.

“OH SHIT!”

“I got it!” He teleported to catch the flying solo sickle and came right back within a matter of seconds. Oh, what I’d give to experience never having to walk again.

“Sorry about that! They’ve never broken the edge like that before!”

“Sorry!? You’re not allowed to be sorry, that was so cool! It went clean through!” I’ve never seen him gush about something this way. I’ve gotta admit, it’s kind of adorable. “Okay, I’m hooked! What’s the other thing it can do?”

“Invisibility! But I can’t do it for long, at least not yet. I made progress, though! Went from only three seconds to five!”

“Wait, actually, back up a bit. I get that Baron Ass told you how the sickles work and blah blah blah, but how’d you learn how to fight with ‘em? Ya know, the non-mystic aspects.”

“Oh, YouTube tutorials at first. But honestly, sickle fighting is mid so I did a lot of improv, really.”

He chuckled and eventually lost to his giggles as if me saying that wasn’t completely justified. “Did you just call an ancient form of martial arts mid?”

“Stop judging me, I’m right! Sickles were improvised weapons. They’re good for the last resort, not the first choice!”

“I’m not judging, I’m not judging! Promise! I respect it, even!” He leaned against the roof’s edge, gradually collecting himself. “But if they’re that bad, why didn’t you ask for a different weapon? One that’s cooler and not ‘the last resort’?”

Oh boy, where to begin?

I then explained how I essentially found myself wrapped in some “chosen one” bullshit through the sickles. They still don’t work any time Barry touches them but are perfectly fine in my hands. It’d be pretty dumb to pass up these weapons for a different one, even if sickles aren’t the coolest thing to own. Although, he’s definitely acting like they are judging by how intensely his eyes are staring at them. They’re sparkling brighter than I thought eyes realistically could.

“Well, now I’m offended! Mystic mystery sickles that do all kinds of glowy stuff for you specifically? How could you not tell me about these sooner!? They’re so amazing!”

“I know, I’m real sorry, Leon.” He’s joking around, his tone’s too light to be mad. But I do still feel bad for accidentally ignoring him like that. “Anything I can do for you as an apology?”

“Well…” His smirk revealed that thing was the main reason he came here in the first place. “We could make up for the lost time and go on a run together tonight. It is a weekend so you’d still have tomorrow and the day after to rest up. But hey, that’s just an idea…”

It's Friday again. Just like the first time we did this.

He held out his hand as an offer and I took it with a grin. “You make a convincing argument.”

And off we went, dashing through the night. It’s a bit humid today so the wind from sprinting so fast is greatly appreciated. Not to mention my speed is so much better than before!

The daily restrictions of civil life can go suck my dick and feed my liver to their uncles ‘cause oh my god nothing beats this feeling! No one else is here, no one who could stop us! Sure, jumping off roofs isn’t the safest way to have fun, but everything else in my life is already so safe! I’m allowed to have this one thing, this one moment to be free.

I’m so distracted that I didn’t realize I’m actually giving Leo a run for his money this time! Hehe, run. God, I’m so funny.

“Looks like you can actually keep up with me now!”

“I know, right!? It feels fucking amazing!”

Judging from his mischievous ass face, I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut. “I don’t mean to burst your bubble but…”

A blue light appeared as a hole ripped in the sky and the lovely piece of shit went right through, appearing again somewhere way ahead of me. “I’m still faster!~”

“Hey! No portals allowed!”

“Uh, last time I checked, portalling is totally allowed.”

“Says who!?”

“Says me and I’m leader! Whatever leader says goes!”

To add insult to injury, he doesn’t just portal himself. As I’m trying to catch up to him mid-jump, the jackass opens a portal right under me, sending me back even further than I already was with no time to recover.

“Leo, you cheat!”

Bro’s giggling his ass off as he blinked in and out of sight. I’m no different with how sore my face is, so I can’t even pretend to be mad.

Instead, all I can do is try my best to speed up and catch up, plotting my revenge in the meantime. Easier said than done, that dude’s faster than the Flash right now since he’s, ya know, portalling. Doesn’t help that he keeps appearing right next to me every few minutes just to taunt me and disappear again.

A few minutes into our little cat and mouse game though, I lost track of him and he hadn’t shown up in a while to pester me. So, I started calling out his name, trying to look for him. You’d think it’d be easier to find a 5’5” giant, green turtle man but I guess they wouldn’t be ninjas if that were the case.

“Leo? Leo!? Le- Huh?”

I finally found him. But instead of the shit-eating grin he gave me earlier, he’s silent and still behind the edge of a roof, his back facing me. It’s starting to freak me out a little, he looks like he’s going fucking Blair Witch mode. No words, no witty remarks, nothing. Just ghostly staring at whatever the view is. Only thing I can see from here is a museum.

“Hey, Leon, you okay?”

“Shh!”

With his eyes still fixed up ahead, Leo took my hand and guided me forward. He eventually looked at me and nodded towards the street below us. Gazing in that direction, I saw a large purple truck with the logo of that one weird shoe store I browsed a few years ago. From what I’ve gathered these past few weeks, big trucks mean bad news.

But maybe that’s not what I should be focused on. Standing near the truck were two people, their skin an unnatural shade of purple. One’s large and brutish, the other tall and slender. They’ve got foot marks on their faces and flames on their bald heads. Exactly how Mikey described…

“The Foot Clan.”

He nodded. “I don’t understand, those guys were all turned into Krang during the invasion.”

Sorry, what? “You’re sure it was those two specifically? I haven’t heard about any cures or vaccines for the Krang victims on the news. It’d make headlines if there were.” I haven’t heard anything about them for a while now that I think about it.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He leaned closer to the edge, as close as he could get without getting caught. “They’re parked a street away from a museum, the hell are they up to now?”

I mimicked his actions, trying to hear the Foot people better. The slender one’s on the phone, sounding frustrated. He’s doing that whisper-yelling thing people do when they wanna be mad quietly to avoid societal shame.

“Yeesh, someone’s having a bad day.”

“You can hear them?” Why does he look so confused?

“Yeah, can’t you?”

Leo shook his head. “Whatever, what are they saying?”

I cocked my head to the side, spying in on their conversation.

His voice is scratchy, a little sore on my ears. “What do you mean you can’t get it off? Just bring the whole thing and hurry! We can’t risk alerting anyone!” Neither of us can tell what he’s referring to, unfortunately. The Foot dude avoids naming it.

I looked back at Leo scanning around for any clues. He stared at the back of the museum for a minute before his eyes widened. “I know where we are. It’s the Historical Society Museum. Donnie mentioned wanting to come here once.”

“I think I’ve heard of it. Isn’t there a lot of ancient stuff in there? Like, from centuries back?”

Nodded again. He’s being unnervingly quiet, considering it’s Leo. He stared at the clan, then at the museum, then back at the clan. He looked… scared. Scared in a way I’ve never seen him before. I felt my hand being subconsciously squeezed. I didn’t even notice he hadn’t let go in the first place.

…I have to help him.

I readied myself for whatever his idea was, no matter how outlandish or risky it may seem. “Alrighty, what’s the plan?”

“Right.” He hesitated, before gripping his katanas and turning back. “…The plan is for me to portal you home, kick some Foot ass, and pick you up so we can continue our run.”

WHAT!?

“What do you mean ‘portal me home!? I’m not leaving!” I was prepared for anything, but this!? “We just stumbled across the Foot Clan who are for some reason not freaky alien zombies and messing with ancient artifacts that do who knows what!”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m sending you home before your adrenaline junkie ass can do something stupid.”

“And what makes you think I’d do that!?”

He held up my scarred left arm and stared at me unimpressed.

“…Okay, that’s a low blow even for you.”

Though as much as I hate to admit it, he kind of has a point. I sighed. “Alright, tell me. If I leave, will you at least call your brothers to help you out?”

“Yes!”

“Leo.”

“Fine, I lied.” The steel fucking balls of- “But still! I’ll be okay! I’ve gone against them plenty of times before.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re invincible!”

Before I could say anything more, I heard the sound of a truck starting up. I looked down and Leo followed my line of sight to see the Foot getting ready to drive.

Shit, they’re getting away!

“Okay, okay! Listen, I promise, I promise I won’t run off on my own and do something dumb this time. Anything the leader says goes! Just please let me join!” I can’t leave him alone!

I could sense him debating on what to do. His eyes look so conflicted, there’s definitely more than what he’s telling me. Nevertheless, I’m not budging. I don’t wanna sit at home being useless and worry the entire time.

He took a deep breath in, and let out a loud sigh. He looked at me with a defeated smile. “I’m not getting rid of you, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, fine, but you’re sticking close.”

Before I could celebrate too much, I felt the ground beneath me disappear into bright blue light. Not anything sudden, more gentle really. Even then, I felt disoriented with my feet going from firmly grounded to touching the air! Not to mention how light my whole body felt. Gravity did a complete 180 and I got flipped around, landing under the truck.

I nearly lost my grip but a hand on my back kept me in place long enough for me to recollect myself. Leo portalled us here.Well, obviously he did, it just caught me off guard again. It’s not really too bad going through his portals but it sure is a fucking trip when it’s unexpected. Either way, it got the job done.

They drove for quite a damn while. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience having to cling on to the bottom of a moving truck as the only scents to breathe in were that of oil and gasoline, but we probably looked super cool! My ears disagreed but oh well. They parked in front of a mall this time. Not just any mall, the fucking World Trade Center! We’re literally on the other side of the city, what on Earth could they need here?

I wanted to follow them in but Leo was against it. He said it’d be safer for us to spy from a distance for now so we went to the roof of a neighboring building, looking in at them. The Foot are on one of the higher floors, almost seeming like they’re scavenging for something.

Leo’s trying to figure out another way in for us. I still don’t understand why we didn’t just follow them. I know Leo’s not a total reckless nutcase or anything, but being this cautious felt a little unlike him.

“Hey, look, I don’t mean to shoot your own words back at you or anything. But you know you can tell me if something’s up, right?”

For a split second, he looked different. His eyes were dead, his lips shut and neutral. He stared at me but he looked so… lost. Empty.

And then his smile returned, face back to normal. Or at least what he convinced me was normal. I’m not so sure anymore. He flicked my forehead again. Even softer than the first time he did it. “Stop worrying so much! You’re gonna give yourself a chasm worse than Raph’s.”

I didn’t know how to take it from there. So I just watched him.

He eventually decided on portalling us into the building’s vent system. It’s a little cramped but was the only place we can eavesdrop without being immediately spotted. Though honestly, I don’t mind this one bit! I’m controlling the impulsive adrenaline ,however, he didn’t say shit about internal adrenaline! I can’t help it if stealth makes me giddy!

“Hehe! It’s like we’re in a movie!”

“Love your enthusiasm as always but remember to not get too caught up in it.”

I momentarily shoved my excitement to the side as we both tried listening in on the Foot Clan. The skinny dude, who I now know to be the Lieutenant, is barking orders at the rest of the soldiers scouting around while talking to the giant Brute.

“You disabled the cameras, correct? You know we can’t make it any harder for them!”

“Of course I did, it’s a no-brainer! Why’d ya have to ask it like that?” Woah, villain or not, his New Yorker accent is one to admire! “You know, sometimes I feel like you think I’m just stupid and nothin’ more.”

“Oh, don’t start now. Focus on finding good metal. The sooner we finish this the better.”

Hearing his raspy voice makes my own throat itch a little. I lightly clawed at it, trying to not make too much noise as I moved.

I leaned a little closer to Leo “What do you think they need metal for?”

“Not sure. Could be to make more soldiers or something? It’d be a cool upgrade from their paper soldiers.”

Leo’s tone seems a little lighter than before, I’m glad to hear him joke around again. “They could make paper soldiers?”

“Yeah! And they’re completely sentient, one of them even became besties with Raph! Anyway,” he pointed down at a handful of soldiers collecting metal artifacts “they’re probably trying to make those origami soldiers again with something stronger.”

“But how would you fold metal?”

“Beats me, Mikey would know more on this. He’s figuring out how to recreate whatever spell they used so we could get some help with patrolling. Word of advice though, salami origami does not work as a substitute.”

“No shit. Who’s bright idea was that?”

“...You don’t know him.” His guilty face says it all.

We were giggling a little too loudly, I suppose. One of the Foot dudes stopped and started listening for our voices again. He shrugged and moved on soon enough. I didn’t realize I was covering my mouth till I let myself breathe again.

“We should probably be a little quieter and take this stealth thing more seriously.”

I nodded in agreement. He’s not upset, honestly he’s struggling just as much as I am to choke down more giggles. It’s like we’re hiding under a blanket during a sleepover pretending we’re not awake in front of the parents and not in a likely life or death situation spying on the black-magic cult. I’m trying my best but it’s already hard enough to keep my adrenaline addiction in check and Leo being here makes it worse in the best ways possible.

Still, I don’t wanna know what happens if we get cau- What was that creaking sound?

CLANG!

It would seem those were not really sturdy vents.

You know that moment from the Ice Age sequel when the vultures surround the main cast with hungry, devilish eyes ready to feast on them at any given moment? Yeah, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if the Foot Clan randomly bursts into song about “glorious food” full on broadway musical style.

“Uh… Hey, fellas! Long time no see, am I right?” Despite his demeanor, I caught the real reason he raised his hands. I reached back for mine as well.

A sheath of metal filled the air as Leo took his katanas out their case, perfectly timed with the Lieutenant’s new orders.

“GET THEM!”

“Run, hide first then get the stolen thingie if you can. I’ll keep ‘em busy!” Leo charged into the fight, holding them off to make sure they couldn’t get to me.

Unfortunately, there’s like a bajillion of them that can easily outnumber us. I’ve learned to be quite a slippery sprinter but even then two already managed to block my path.

Now would be a good time to turn invisible!

“Come on, come on!” I could barely get the sparks to even start spreading. Turns out stress is a huge fucking factor I neglected in my training.

I wouldn’t have minded if it just took a few seconds to work but the real issue was I couldn’t keep it working. I didn’t even really go invisible, just sorta flashed in and out of transparency for a few seconds! The only reason I haven’t gotten caught yet is ‘cause these two morons are too busy laughing at me.

“Is that really the best you can do!? Whoever you are, little girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you!”

“Oh no! She’s… she’s… blinking like an old flashlight!! We’re so scared!”

…BITC-

Resorted to traditional methods. I made the sickles the consistency of a metal pot and threw it at one of their heads, knocking them down. The other I kicked straight in the chest while they were distracted by their idiot teammate, also knocking them down. I’d love nothing more than to give some extra special attention to them but this old flashlight’s gotta run for the shadows while they’ve got an open chance.

A blue portal opened in front of me. “Hey Salena, so this fight’s a little more intense than I expected and I wanted to quickly check if you’re really sure about-”

“Leo, I’m fine! I’m not leaving mid-battle!”

“No, no, that’s fine! That’s great! Just a reminder there’s no shame in calling it- DUCK!”

Without hesitance, I dropped to the ground right as his sword swung above me to block one of the soldier’s attacks. Maybe I should let Leo handle this guy since I can’t really do much while laying on the floor. Then again, doesn't mean I can’t do anything. And also I don’t have good impulse control.

“OW!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

I bit on to his ankle as hard as I desired despite his pleading cries. I didn’t let go until Leo broke out of his shock and finally punched him unconscious. Fighting might actually be a really good way to get out my urges.

“Why-“

“Don’t. If it works, it works.”

I flashed a grin, got back on my feet, and bounced away. I need a better vantage point if I wanna find the stolen item, especially with the chaos over here. I quickly made my way up to the indoor balcony thingie. Terrance? The second floor? Whatever the fuck it is. I’ll have to admit, despite how absolutely pumped I’m feeling right now, it kinda feels nice getting away from the clusterfuck for a bit. I heard Leo still spamming all his dialogue options to keep the main two creeps occupied. Actually, I’m pretty sure I can see them from up here, too.

“So, you guys are looking great! Never thought I’d say this, but I am loving the old look making a return.” His hands did more tricks than usual, keeping his swords flowing like an intricate dance. There are multiple soldiers practically hounding him yet he’s fending them off almost gracefully.

“Can’t you stupid children stay out of our way for one night! There’s great evil being put on the hold right now for your antics!”

“Hey, speaking of evil, what’s with the normal amount of eyes? Not that I’m missing the other option but- GAH!”

And yet, even with Leo’s skilled moves, he’s struggling to keep up with the two leaders specifically. I deadass would’ve been slaughtered by now if I didn’t listen to him about hiding.

“We got some outside help. Now, stop askin’ annoying questions and maybe we’ll go easier on ya!” He swung his axe again, thankfully missing Leo.

I gotta wonder, from Mikey’s stories, they’ve fought the Foot Clan with ease several times in the past. Leo was doing fine just now, too. So why does it look like this could be his first time facing off the Lieutenant and Brute? Nobody’s perfect but I don’t think either of us expected him to lose his grace and become borderline clumsy against them.

Wait, no! Distractions! Leo can handle himself, I need to focus on my own task. Stolen thingie! But where the hell is it?

Just as I was about to think they left it in the truck like common sense would dictate, a soft, reflective red glow caught my eye. The moon was on my side tonight.

“There she is!”

Or maybe I was being too optimistic. In fairness, I should’ve known I couldn’t stay here for long.

It would be really fucking nice to turn invisible now. Sickles? No? Oh, okay, fuck me then I guess.

I hopped off the edge before they could reach me and slinked to the other side of the room, following the red gleam. Despite the sickles betraying me with horrific timing twice tonight, I got them to cover me long enough to reach the ruby ring the glow came from. The light bled past the folds of the drape covering their stolen prize. I lifted it to find a… weird mannequin bust? With arms. Decorated with several ornaments and jewelry including the ring. What the fuck are they using this for, a fashion show?

I flinched to the sound of a loud thud paired with Leo’s groan. Flipping my head behind me, I saw him cornered against a wall, swords shielding him from the Brute’s axes.

“Okay, either you two got a lot stronger or my body isn’t what it used to be.”

I gotta calm myself down, Leo’s a trained ninja and will likely be completely and totally fine! A tiny slip doesn’t mean inevitable doom!

…I hope.

I turned my attention back to the mannequin thing to mentally measure its size. I’m fairly certain it’ll fit inside my backpack, it’s not too big. Just gotta get it in now.

Another sound interrupted me. This time, it was loud metallic clanking off the floor. Leo’s katanas…

“On second thought, maybe it’s both.” His weapons were away from him, too far out of reach. His voice sounded weaker, arms wrapped around his torso.

Oh no.

Neither of them were holding back. As soon as he was down, they were practically hammering at him. His arms were up, defensively blocking his head. I’m supposed to stay away from this. I’m supposed to listen and focus on my task. But I can’t stop my body from turning when I see something like this happening.

He’s in the air now. I need to move. He’s being swung. I need to be faster.

“Let this be a lesson, turtle. Our battles have drastically changed.”

The window shattered from the force of his body.

“LEO!”

I don’t remember ever sprinting this fast, but I was out the window right after through the very hole he created. The height couldn’t scare me if it tried. My arm outstretched, I caught him with one hand and had my sickle in the other. Careful to not dare mess up my timing, it snatched onto a power line just as my blades turned to rubber, thick enough to not get us shocked from the voltage.

“N-nice… nice catch.”

“Thanks.” It’s harder to talk when I’m panting like a dog and trying to limit my shaking limbs.

His weight felt like it would rip my arms apart. I didn’t expect a giant muscular turtle to be light but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Still, some-fucking-how, I’m able to keep us both hanging from the wire, comprehending the fact that we’re not dead. Thank fuck for Raph forcing me to work out sessions.

“You, uh, you doing good up there? You’re breathing kinda heavily. Hey, heavily! Didn’t even mean to make that one!”

“Leo I will drop you.”

He convinced me to suffer a little longer and try to swing him, giving enough momentum for him to catch onto the side of the neighboring building. Then, I swung myself, Leo catching me to soften the landing. We scampered up to the roof, coincidentally the same one we were on a while ago.

“And literally back to square one. Fantastic.” He sighed, clearly annoyed by our failure. His attention quickly shifted once he noticed me rubbing my sore arms. “Hey, you okay? Want me to take a look at you?”

“Me? Take a look at yourself first, idiot!”

I’m not gonna pretend I’m not in pain, but it’s nothing close to the tragedies on his body currently. His arms are bruised and cut from the fight. One was actively bleeding with bits of glass still stuck in some places. Luckily it was the only fleshy place he took damage on, everything else was protected, albeit a little cracked.

“It’s… It’s fine. My shell took most of the hit, anyway.” This bitch. “Besides, I’ve got bigger things to worry about.”

Despite his condition, he started walking to the edge of the roof, heading back towards the WTC.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“To get my katanas back.”

“Oh, no, no, no, you are not going back in there! Can’t you just make new swords or something?”

“And help the foot by practically gifting them Hamato weapons?”

“You said they’re made from your magic! Shouldn’t that protect them from other people trying to use them?”

“I don’t know, we only learned about this ninpo stuff, like, last year! I don’t know enough to be sure nothing will happen if I leave them with the Foot. I’m not doing that.”

“Well, I can’t let you go back.” I stood in front of him to block his path. “We can figure something else out but you are not going back in there! Look at you, it’d be crazy!”

“I was crazy once-” My hand shut his stupid, smug mouth before he could complete the ritual.

“Leo, you were thrown out a window! You’re hurt!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! I’ve been through worse! I’m just gonna get my swords back, that’s all.” He put a hand on my shoulder and threw on a fake smile to comfort me. The blood is literally dripping down his arm as he did, defeating the point. I looked back at his eyes, not bothering to hide how furiously concerned I am. If I’m reading him right, he’s not oblivious to reality. He’s a medic, he knows it better than I do.

He took a shaky breath in. “Fine, you’re right that I’m a little hurt. But we can’t waste time patching me up, I need to get my swords! Rule number one of basic survival is never let the Foot come into possession with highly mystic material ever.”

“Then I’ll go while you take care of yourself.”

“NO!” His head perked up as his eyes grew wider. He tried saving his initial reaction. “No way, not happening. It’s a safer plan if I go in, I’m more used to them” Safer for us or for just me.

“And yet, you got beaten to a pulp, isolated from your weapons, thrown out a window, and are now bleeding with shards of glass sticking out your body. Did I miss anything?” He’s neglected himself all night being overly cocky and confident nothing bad would happen to him. That’s what’s led to him turning out like this! “They didn’t exactly go easy on you, Leo-”

“Then imagine what they’d do to you!”

His brows knit together, staring at me, not blinking. I guess my wish was granted since he finally stopped disguising his true fear.

“Salena, please. Stay here, I’m going in.”

I almost let him go. Almost.

Too bad for him, I yanked him by the mask tails and pulled his stunned face back to face me.

“Hey, wh-”

“Alright, listen. I know whoever these guys are, they’re dangerous as fuck. I know I’m nowhere near as skilled of a fighter as you and I probably never will be. And I know I am way in over my head about this. But none of that matters to me.”

He kept quiet. So I continued. “What matters is that I’m your friend. Friends don’t let each other jump into losing battles, okay? You’re hurt, Leo. Please, just let me help you.”

I looked up at the sky. The clouds are covering the moon now and should stay that way for a little while. I could take advantage of the newfound darkness.

I stood on the ledge, mentally preparing myself to reignite the flames. Sure, I talked big about being able to handle myself and whatnot but I’m just trying to fool myself into thinking I’m not scared. If I can keep myself level-headed and use my sickles, I’ll be able to stay invisible for a short bit. If I play my cards right, that should be all I need.

I felt a hand grab my wrist. Turning around, I readied myself to once again reassure Leo I’d be fine but stopped when he put something in my palm. I recognize them, they’re tanto knives.

“Hey.” His smile is forced but not disingenuous.

“You’ve got this.”

So off I went with the last little push I needed. The cool night air feels fantastically refreshing on my skin. Every leap leaves me more confident I’ll succeed. I have to. He needs someone he knows he can depend on.

I scouted around and found an open window to sneak back in through. Judging by how crazy strong these guys are, my best bet is the element of surprise and for these oversized lethal boomerangs to actually work in my favor. Which they hadn’t before. But nothing’s ever hopeless. The reflection off the moon was their main source of light, with the clouds hiding it now and my knowledge of the floor’s layout, I think I might have a working plan this time.

I rushed over to the balcony I was at previously, this time being more cautious of any look-outs. There were three of them up here so I’m glad I didn’t choose the reckless route. I took my sickles out my backpack, breathed in, and turned invisible. A little harder to do since my nerves haven’t completely disappeared but it’s going smoother than before.

I snuck up to the soldier at the back of the trio, covering his mouth and dragging him to the dark, knocking him out shortly after. His two buddies were a piece of cake after that, hit one with a blunt-force sickle and take the other by hand at the same time. No one noticed a thing.

With the balcony cleared, I reclaimed my little sighting spot and looked over the entire floor, making note of every nook and cranny I could hide in. The clan’s focus changed since last time, they’re trying to get out as fast as possible. Seems like they’re taking Leo’s katanas with them since Lieutenant Itchy McSore-Throat was holding onto them.

“All of you hurry up! We must get out of here!”

I spotted the stolen mannequin in the distance. It’s actually not too far and surprisingly not removed. The two leaders seem distracted by someone. Perfect timing. I crept down and started taking out some more soldiers, listening in to the conversation at the same time.

“What about getting all the mystic metal we can?” That’s a new voice.

“Forget the metal, we’ve got enough for today. We need to leave or that turtle will bring reinforcements!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever makes ya happy, boss.”

“You better not be questioning my authority.”

“Our authority, he means. We’ve had your type before, and they grew to be traitors. I suggest you don’t test the patience of the Foot ‘cause it’s growin’ thin.”

“Nice phrasing! Even if you shouldn’t have interrupted me.” I can’t tell if these two have workplace tension or workplace bromance anymore. “But he’s right. You’d do well to remember your place, rookie.”

“Hey, I wasn’t tryna question anything guys. Just sayin’ maybe we should’ve planned this better in case we got caught.”

“So you may be right. We’ll keep it in mind but work on your delivery when it comes to criticism. Now quickly, go join the others.”

“Can I at least hold the magic swords?”

“No.”

She grumbled and left through the door, likely exiting the building. Her attitude was a pleasant surprise. I’ll admit, I kinda assumed all the Foot soldiers had brain-numbing levels of obedience.

The clouds were clearing up, though. The moonlight brightened the room back up, I can’t use the darkness for cover much longer. Alas, if only I knew how to use my literal invisibility powers for longer than a few seconds but you know what? This is genuinely perfectly okay. I’ve taken out enough of them to only leave a few left standing, not to mention the majority of them are already out the building. I gotta take these freaks head on if I wanna get Leo’s swords. No more hide and seek.

I let the light illuminate me.

“Hey guys!~” I waved gleefully as the Foot idiots finally noticed my presence. “Remember me? Hope it hasn’t been too long.”

“You!” The Brute turned to me first. “You’re the Hamato ally from earlier!”

“What are you doing here! Why have you returned!”

“You sure have a way of asking questions that makes them feel like statements. Anyway, I’m here to collect something you stole from my friend.”

He gripped the swords as he scowled at me. I held my own sickles tighter.

“You foolish child! You leave us no choice but take you out permanently.”

“Oh, really now? You and what army.”

I scoffed when I caught his expression change. Everyone looked at each other, noting how very few of them are suddenly in the room. So distracted they barely noticed me going for my first blow.

He quickly got ready to block me with Leo’s weapon, absolutely bewildered when I only zoomed past him and sliced at the leg of another soldier behind him. It wasn’t too deep but poor guy was still rendered useless. I dashed to my left at another soldier, dodging his attack and punching right up his chin.

“What’s going on!? Those sickles were dull the last time she used ‘em!”

“They must be mystic…”

“Right you are, Lieutenant! I kept them dull on purpose, my mistake.”

I threw a tanto at a cultist’s shoulder.

“You threw Leo out a window. I think you can bear to see some blood.”

One by one, I went around the room, sprinting past anyone chasing after me and immobilizing anyone with their guard down. I got in a groove good enough to keep myself progressing along while getting out my rage. I wasn’t kidding before, I would’ve kept my blades dull again. I’m still careful to not do anything fatal but I’m not gonna be exactly merciful, either. They deserve this.

Fighting felt like dancing, gliding across the room in an energetic fashion. I’m not crazy enough to go for the Lieutenant or Brute which ended up being a plus for me. They was more than ready to protect themselves, but not their team. At last, I got them all exactly where I needed them.

Alright, stay calm. Turn invisible no matter what.

My sickles shone with a pink glow, allowing me to disappear from their sight. I scampered past them, reaching the bejeweled mannequin behind them. It feels a little different? But there isn’t any concrete proof for this so my brain’s just tricking me. Whatever, no time to lose. I shoved it in my bag, getting myself used to the weight, and aimed a sickle at his arm.

“Where’d she go!?”

“Stay alert! Don’t let her catch you off guard!”

A bit late for that buddy.

My blade sliced through, leaving a massive gash on his arm. He screamed and dropped Leo’s sword. I ran through, catching it just as I became visible again. I snatched the other one as quickly as possible and sprinted to create some distance.

I held my arm up to my face, making good use of the wraps’ built-in comms. “Leo! Heads up!”

I threw a katana out the window, smashing the glass as it flew outside. I stopped in my tracks with a smirk. I knew we won.

I dodged the last attacks of the night, accelerating faster than I realized I could go. “Well folks, this was quite a fun match! Hope to never see you again!” Blue light sparked across my body. I leapt in the air, gave a quick peace sign purely to piss ‘em off, and bid my farewell.

“Toodles~”

Teleportation isn’t actually too bad if you know it’s coming.

The cool night air returned on my skin. I was floating for a few seconds before crashing to the roof on my knees. I didn’t even care about the pain, I was too busy enjoying the hug I received for my success!

“I DID IT! I FUCKING DID IT! WOOHOO!!!”

“Celebrations later, escaping now! Come on!”

Leo dragged me up and pulled us through another portal.

***

“We are the champions!~

“Gone with the losers ‘cause we are the champions!”

I handed another slice of pizza to Leo, half the box pepperoni for him and the other half plain cheese for me. We already dropped off the mannequin back to the museum and I gave an anonymous tip to 911 so now we’re simply chilling on the roof singing to celebrate our victorious night. I’m honestly still hyper as hell over it.

“I can’t believe we actually did it! I can’t believe I actually did it! Salena one, Foot Clan NONE BABY, FUCK YEA!”

“Man, I am so happy you came out okay. You have no idea how relieved I was when I saw you again.” He bit into the cheese, the least stressed I’ve seen him all night.

I couldn’t realize it earlier but that hug he gave wasn’t for my success. It’s clear to me now.

“Leo?”

“Hm?” He looked towards me as he bit into the cheese.

“Thanks for trusting me.”

He mirrored my smile. “Hey, we’re friends, right? That’s what I’m here for.”

The spring breeze feels so sweet. The view of the city is rewarding as always. A safe city, a safe night. I can see why they’re so into this whole hero gig. Everything about this moment feels absolutely perfect.

Buzz! Buzz!

I swear to god if my fucking phone’s gonna ruin it again. I quickly checked the notif to see if it was anything important. To my surprise, it’s Jaiden.

They sent me a text. The first one in weeks. It’s a dumb meme I saw earlier today.

We used to do this a lot in the past. Whenever we got into a fight, it’d be our way of ending it. We could never stay mad at each other for more than a day. In the past at least.

I guess this means they’re not mad at me anymore.

“Everything okay?” Leo stared at me, probably concerned by my change in demeanor.

I double tapped to like Jaiden’s meme and put my phone away, going back to normal.

“It’s nothing important. Just, uh, highschool stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”

He laughed “Oh, okay, well. I know I’m too fabulous to be the average, uncool, normal teen guy doing normal teen things like going to highschool that you want right now but…”

“If you ever need someone to lend a shoulder, you know who to call.”

He’s an idiot, but a very sweet one when he wants to be.

“Thanks, Leo, but I mean it this time. It’s nothing.” I raised up my slice to request a toast of some sorts. “Let’s go back to celebrating, shall we?”

He let out a satisfied chuckle, returning my toast. I didn’t wanna let anything ruin the way I felt tonight, even if their text tainted the vibe a bit. But hey, it’s technically a win, too! I got my confirmation that Jaiden and I are indeed still friends.

Though I gotta admit, I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be.

Next Chapter

#save rottmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt season 3 #rise of the turtles #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt x oc #oc x canon #rottmnt oc x canon #nickelodeon #rottmnt moths fly in packs

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angstyandromanticwriting · 16 days ago

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☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

☦︎︎ “𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.” ☦︎︎

☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

A Leighton Murray X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt

[Just a Short Prompt For Today]

Minors DNI!!!

* Handles some hefty topics which might be disturbing, as well as some quite graphic smut features!

I will always try and make links between prompts + main instalments whenever I am writing for a consistent few characters!

* Feel free to refer to earlier instalments for this character + her Reader here!

The Word Count [Exclusive to this Prompt]: standing around 5.6k!

Takes place after the events of the third season!

I hope you enjoy it!

There will be more!

!TW(s) [The Specifics]: Emotional Distress/Anxiety/Panic, Mental Health Themes, Past Parental Trauma/Implied Emotional Abuse, Relationship Tension/Miscommunication, Fear of Being a Burden/Rejection Sensitivity, Sexual Content/Intimacy, Fear of Being Hurt Again, Self-Doubt/Internalised Guilt - if I’ve missed any here, please feel free to let me know; thank you, and I hope you enjoy it!

The Hill/Eternally Warm Inside

After what happened between you and Leighton, you’d been a little more quiet than you usually were.

You kept your head low, most of the time, smiling at her whenever she passed by you, as she smiled back, making your heart stutter.

She was the best thing you’d ever-..

Your smile soon faltered as you averted your gaze once she was out of sight, the fresh pain taking over again.

You tried not to cry.

Just cry.

It wasn’t that you both had recently fought, or anything, you just-..

You wanted to be more for her.

You couldn’t take just being-..

The way you were.

The way your father made you.

You still believed it was your fault, sometimes, especially when you thought back to the night you and Leighton had spent together just-..

It didn’t matter.

You tried to tell yourself it didn’t matter, but it was easier to say things than it was to do things, most of time.

It was still relatively quiet in Eva’s restaurant’s kitchens, apart from the occasional shout of an order here and there.

Sometimes you wondered why Eva herself had ever bothered to take you on, too.

Speak of the devil - Eva was walking up to you, and you could tell she was about to try and suggest you take a break again.

You didn’t need breaks, you - you just needed a way out of the hell-scape in your head.

You didn’t blame her for asking, though, you guessed, as even you feel the tension that came with your silence again.

“Everything okay?”

Eva asked, just like you thought she would.

You tensed up a little, warily looking back at the figure as you feigned reassurance, smiling faintly back at her.

It wasn’t enough for Eva, though, clearly - maybe it wasn’t enough for you, too.

“Still going with - er, that girl - god, what was her name-”

“Leighton, and - and yeah, we - we’re still-.. things are good, but - but are we really doing this right now? I am trying to focus on the pesto, here, remember?”

Eva winced, but the look didn’t linger for too long.

“Fair enough - just wanted to check in on you,” she reassured softly, before smiling warmly back at you again, and dragging herself off to to have a go at Jay for almost tripping up on the kitchen doorstoppers again.

You sighed as you returned your focus onto the boiling pot, knowing that when you were here, nothing else should matter, but again - such a mind-state is easier described than can be had sometimes.

You weren’t expecting Leighton to be waiting at your and Aurora’s apartment when you got back home.

You didn’t know why, you just-..

You didn’t know why.

As soon as the two heard the front door open, they looked toward it, one looking more nervous than the other did.

Aurora smiled first, as Leighton fidgeted with her hands a little.

“Hey, you - was work good today?”

Aurora inquired, much too innocently.

Your eyebrows furrowed a little as you tilted your head partially again.

“Yeah, it - it was, erm-.. it was fine, but - sorry, what’s Leight doing here? I thought she was-”

“Gee, thanks,” Leighton commented, and you tensed up, a pained expression on your face as you looked over at her again; you didn’t mean it like you-

You’d been about to stammer up an apology, when Leighton shook her head reassuringly, a playful grin on her face again.

“Er - no reason, really, she just-.. y’know, wanted to come and see you; that’s what she said, anyway.”

Aurora answered, eventually.

Your expression softened a little as you nodded tightly, before smiling faintly back toward Leighton again.

“Well, I - I’m glad you’re here,” you managed timidly.

Leighton’s heart skipped a beat again as her eyes glinted a little, and Aurora couldn’t help the smile that played on her own lips, seeing the way you both acted around one another.

“I’ll give you both some space, shall I?”

She suggested, and you tensed up a little; you weren’t sure why, you just.

You’d almost flinched with it, even, and your heart sank again.

You didn’t want to be like that around her; like you were scared of being alone with her again after your last scare.

You were hoping Leighton hadn’t noticed, but-..

The glint in her eyes had gone as she tried to force another smile back up at Aurora, not wanting to worry her.

She tried not to think much about the new tension in the room as she nodded her head respectfully back at Leighton, saying something about how she’d probably go to bed; it had been chaos down at the new bar she was working at.

Once she was gone, you thought about glancing back at Leighton, but the fear wouldn’t go away, and she didn’t know how long she could take the silence, the way it was, now.

“So, were there many assholes down at the restaurant today? I could probably pay them a little visit if you-”

“Leight,” you stammered out a little exasperatedly again.

She fell quiet in an instant, her heart pounding too fast against her ribcage as she watched you, her eyes darkening like they never had before.

“Leight, I - I don’t know if I can-”

“Wait,” she strained out as she shook her head subconsciously, pushing herself up off of the sofa again.

You faltered a little, taking one minor step back that made her heart want to shatter and collapse in on itself.

“Y/n-.. please, don’t-”

“I can’t do it, Leight, okay? I - I’m not-”

You interjected a little firmer, despite your voice cracking again.

“You can do it, Y/n; I know you can, you just-”

“I don’t want to fight with you about this,” you murmured, your voice barely audible as you kept your gaze low, hands shaking. “I’m not good for you,” you continued even fainter, almost to yourself as you shook your head gravely, trying not to cry. “Leight, I - I could never be-”

“Stop,” she began a little shakier, her voice sounding more breathless than it did before, “please, stop - Y/n, I-.. that’s not-.. I love you, okay? I’ve always-.. you can’t do this. You can’t just throw everything away like-”

She hadn’t intended her voice to rise the way it did.

You tensed a little again, trying your best not to flinch as you scowled down at the ground, not wanting to be told what to do anymore.

But that wasn’t what she wanted you to feel, right now, even if it hurt her to think she could be losing you, all over again.

“Y/n-”

“So, you - you want to force me, too?”

You breathed too shallowly.

But you still felt like you were sinking somehow.

Leighton didn’t know what to do, after such an assumption had escaped you, the way it did.

“W-Why the fuck would you even say something like that to me?”

She uttered a little more firmly, but still dejectedly as you tensed up even more somehow, your eyes widening a little as you bowed your head once more, before stammering out a little fainter that you needed to go out again.

By the time you’d got back, Leighton was crying quietly again.

You could hardly breathe, when you-..

“Leight-..”

Your voice was hardly there, when her name escaped you, the way it had.

Her heart stuttered, as she glanced up at you, lips moving soundlessly for a moment again.

You’d never seen her so scared before, and that just - it broke you more than you could say.

“Leight, I - I’m so-.. I never wanted to-..”

She shook her head reassuringly as she timidly got up again, gesticulating toward you tightly as if she were asking if she could hold you again.

You couldn’t take the way a strained sob escaped you, before you nodded hastily, and she didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around you.

You stayed like that for a little while, together.

No words passed between you for a few moments; they weren’t required, right now.

She just-.. she’d missed holding you in her arms again, and you couldn’t deny that you, too, had missed holding her.

She sniffled softly against the soft skin of your neck as she slowly began to calm down, you drawing soft circles on her back with your right hand as you bathed in her presence, still wondering what you’d done to deserve it, somehow.

You subconsciously traced the thumb of your left hand over the under of the ring she’d bought for you, and your heart ached again.

“I love you,” you whispered, and she shuddered a little in your arms, as if she’d not been expecting to hear you say it, the way you did, then. “Leight, I - I’ve always-..”

She warily held you at arms’ length, as soon as she felt able, and your eyes darkened when you noticed the pained expression residing on her face again.

“Where - Where did you even go?”

She questioned, and you tensed up like you never had before.

“Leight-”

“You did it again, didn’t you?”

She murmured, her voice threatening to crack as she shook her head gravely, but your eyebrows furrowed like you weren’t sure what she meant by that.

“Leight, n-no, what are you-”

Your voice was weak again, as she let you go, making to grab her jacket and her bag again.

“Leight, stop - I didn’t - what did you even-”

“You cheated again, right? T-That’s why you left, isn’t it? You just-..”

She faltered again as you shook your head dejectedly; half-heartedly as if you were barely present in the room anymore as you tried not to cry; as you tried to stay strong for her, but you didn’t know if you could even do that, now.

“You-.. You seriously think that-.. that I would-? I didn’t even know before if we were, n-not then, I-”

She averted her gaze again, trying to ignore the ache spreading throughout her body as she shook her head faintly alongside you.

She continued for the door, no matter how wrong it felt.

You began to panic again as you caught her left arm gently within your right hand.

“Leight-”

“Let go,” she interjected, her voice trembling again.

You didn’t hesitate as your grip loosened, before you timidly withdrew your hand again.

She lingered there, for a moment, trying to catch her breath again as she waited for something she wasn’t sure of yet.

“I’m sorry,” you managed, eventually, your voice tight and heavy in the space between the both of you, and Leighton’s demeanour sank a little as she tilted her head partially toward her left shoulder, as if to show she was listening to you again. “I-.. I didn’t want-.. I’ve only ever wanted you to be-.. I’m so-”

A strained and breathy sob escaped your lips again as you bowed your head, your expression crumpling.

She was quiet for a brief moment longer, trying to find the right words to say as she turned to face you slowly, you not sure if you even deserved to look up at her anymore.

“I love you, Leight.”

Her lungs stuttered at the phrase again, and not just because of how faint it had been.

Even through the pain, you were still trying to-..

“I’ve always-.. and I’ll never stop, I-.. I can’t-.. I don’t know if I can even-.. I - I just wanted-..”

She raised her eyebrows a little, her expression softening just a little as she sighed heavily, before nodding tightly again.

“If you didn’t cheat on me,” she began again carefully, not wanting to let her voice betray her so easily this time, “then where did you go?”

“I - I didn’t know what else to do,” you murmured, the both of you now sat on the sofa as Leighton kept her gaze low, listening to you patiently, “s-so-.. I wanted to see my aunt again, because-.. because she always - she always knew what to say. My dad didn’t like me visiting her when I did, but - but I-.. I just-.. he’s not here, so-.. so I thought I should-.. it was cold at the churchyard, but-.. it - it-.. it was okay, so-.. I’m sorry, Leight. I - I didn’t want-.. I just wanted her to tell me how I can be strong again.”

You tensed up, after that, keeping your gaze firmly locked upon your hands, neatly placed over your knees, and you tried not to jolt a little when she shifted her own left one to rest upon your right, now.

“You’re stronger than you think you are,” she began gently, and you could feel her gaze burning through you, “you don’t need anyone telling you how to-.. you know that, right?”

You tried not to hesitate, but-..

You couldn’t voice the words, anyway.

Her heart sank as you swallowed tightly, as if you were trying not to cry again.

“Hey,” she cooed ever softer, “you wanna go someplace?”

The streets were quiet as you both walked side-by-side to nowhere in particular.

Her right hand was intertwined within your left, and you couldn’t stop how your lips curled upward a little at the feeling; her palm against your own.

You didn’t know how to describe it - it was just-..

Like everything you’d ever dreamt about, whenever you didn’t get plunged into some nightmare again.

Leighton occasionally glanced over at you, her heart stuttering when she found your eyes glinting beneath the moonlight again.

At one point, you’d almost caught her gaze, as she hastily looked away, her face feeling too warm.

“Hey, erm - you wanna go on the hill, maybe? It’s usually quite quiet, when it’s late like this.”

She suggested, eventually, when she felt like she could breathe - albeit faintly - again.

You raised your eyebrows over at her, though you didn’t know why, you just-..

You winced again, trying to recompose yourself as you focused on her hand in your’s; the quiet atmosphere around the two of you.

“Sure, but - why?”

You asked, and she tried not to tense up at the question, her lips a little thinner than before as she kept her gaze down again.

“Does there have to be a why?”

She replied, and you winced, evidently a little flustered as you shook your head too hastily, before delicately squeezing her hand as if to try and comfort her.

“N-No, sorry, I - I don’t know why I-.. I just-.. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head softly as she smiled warmly back at you, not wanting you to feel like you had to apologise to her over something like that.

“Hey, it - it’s okay - you don’t have to be sorry,” she responded gently.

You relaxed a little, your strides a little smoother alongside her own again.

“The only reason I can think of is it’s a nice night, and - and I’d rather spend it with you somewhere where we can just sit, a-and - just - just be, I guess. God, that - that sounds - I never thought I’d ever say that to someone before, but here we are, I guess.”

The smile returned as easily as it had come, earlier, and it soothed Leighton even more to see your cheeks lifting the way they did.

“Is - Is that - o-okay? I mean, we don’t have to, we could just-.. I just thought - you know what I thought. Great, now you’re laughing at me, I mean - seriously, Y/n? I’m trying to be romantic, okay, not - not - y’know.”

“It - It’s not like that, I just-.. I think you’re - I think it’s sweet, or - or cute, that - that you’re-..”

You mused, and her heart stuttered all over again.

“You’re perfect, Leight,” you almost whispered, your voice barely audible.

Her hand tensed in your’s as she glanced softly over at you, her gaze drifting down to your lips all over again.

“You’re nothing short of perfect yourself, baby,” she returned gently.

You almost faltered in step, and she subconsciously allowed her hand to leave your’s so she could hook her right arm around your waist to try and stabilise you again.

You winced, your eyebrows furrowing a little as you tried to recompose yourself, a faint hint of embarrassment hidden behind your eyes, by now.

You almost wanted to ask ‘really’, or ‘why’, but you bit the options back again.

You couldn’t hurt her like that, no matter how much you truly believed that you could never be-

“Hey, c’mon - we’re almost there,” she encourages, looking toward the hill just on the outskirts of the park.

You didn’t hesitate to follow her move, speeding up a little, and you didn’t know why, but you panicked a little when her arm wasn’t around you anymore.

“Leight-”

“Race me?”

She suggested, and your heart jolted a little.

You appeared a little timid again.

“But - the road-”

“I’m not gonna let us get hit by anything, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she tried to reassure, “c’mon, baby - it’ll be fun-?”

You awkwardly shuffled in place, before you nodded tightly again, not wanting to spoil the moment for her.

She grinned brightly back at you, evidently relieved as she gesticulated toward the hill a few paces away again.

“You ready?”

She asked, and the fear sparked in the depths of your stomach.

“I’m ready.”

Sometimes, you still couldn’t believe how fast she was.

You tried to keep up as much as you could as you raced after her, hardly able to breathe properly.

She giggled ahead of you, evidently loving the moment at lot more than you were, right now, though the adrenaline was there.

Until you reached the road, the fear coming back again.

You looked left and right as best you could and the only headlights were the most distant you’d ever seen them.

You grunted, before you rushed across, Leighton already way ahead again.

She was watching, though, no matter how much she tried to hide her own worry.

You felt a lot more relaxed, once you’d got across, but you couldn’t believe that Leighton had gone across without looking the way she did.

If anything ever happened to her, you - you just didn’t know if you’d-..

Your heart stuttered in your chest a lot more overwhelmingly, and not just because of how much you’d been running.

“Leight,” you strained out, and she didn’t hesitate to stop at the bottom of the hill, looking back at you again. “What the fuck? You can’t just go across the road like that - you could have been-”

She raised her eyebrows back at you, and your heart was thumping too wildly at the look in her eyes, only to be intensified further as she walked back toward the road, and you tried not to panic again.

“Baby-”

You began again.

She smirked back at you, challenging you again as she made a point of not looking back at the road, stepping ever closer to the edge of it.

You tensed when you heard the tell-tale sound of tires approaching again.

You knew she probably wouldn’t do it; she’d know better than to - but she kept inching closer.

You hastily shook your head as you mouthed for her to stop; to just go up the hill with you.

“If you want me to stop, come over here and make me, baby.”

You didn’t know why a shiver ran up your spine, at that.

You tried not to whimper, as you nodded without thinking, and rushed up to her again.

She didn’t hesitate to catch you in her arms, but she wasn’t expecting you to timidly connect your lips to her own, the way you did, then.

“Baby,” she whispered breathlessly once the kiss had ended again.

You drew in a barely audible shaky breath as you connected your forehead to her own.

“I’m sorry, Leight, I - I don’t know where that.. I don’t know why I-.. I’m sorry.”

She shuddered again as she shook her head slowly, before smiling lovingly back at you again.

“Hey, it - it’s okay, baby. I - I always love it when you-..”

She awkwardly cleared her throat, before she gesticulated timidly toward the hill, and you winced as you nodded tightly, and allowed her to ease you carefully up the grassy slope.

There was more you wanted to say.

More you wanted to-..

You tried to just breathe, watching her as she sat central upon the platform, you appearing nervous again, before you timidly walked up to her.

She smiled softly when she felt your presence beside her.

“It - It’s pretty, up here,” you managed, your voice faint again.

“It is,” she corroborated, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “but I can think of something prettier.”

Your heart stuttered so easily.

There was a brief, almost too close silence, after that, as you glanced toward her again.

“L-Leight, I-”

“Can - Can I kiss you?”

She asked, and the both of you winced when you realised that you’d spoken over one another.

“Shit, sorry,” she began again as she averted her gaze, and you struggled to breathe again.

“E-Er, I - I’m sorry. Baby, I - I’m so-”

“N-No, it’s okay,” she tried to reassure you, “erm, y-you can - you can go first.”

“I - I think you should; I-.. I prefer what - what it sounded like - like you said, anyway.”

You admitted a little more breathlessly.

She raised her eyebrows back at you.

“You really think so, huh?”

She mused, and your heart was beating too fast like some drum sounding a war beat.

“Y-Yeah, I - of course I do. L-Leight, I-.. when you kiss me, I-.. I always-..”

You fell quiet again, your gaze meeting her own.

“Y-You - You can kiss me,” you reassured her a little clearer than before.

Leighton’s heart stuttered as she nodded a little more timidly, before she leaned a little closer, her heart pounding too quickly; too lightly, it was like the air was growing even hotter, and it was-.. it was terrifying.

But she loved it, all the same.

As soon as she felt able, she leaned forward to delicately press her lips to your own again.

You jolted - just a little - when her lips brushed your’s.

It wasn’t out of fear, though; it was the sudden shiver that shot through you, all over again.

Leighton - as soon as she felt the response - quickly pulled away, her eyes widening a little for fear that she’d hurt you, but you appeared-.. sad, that it was over.

“You - Are you okay?”

You asked a little breathlessly.

Leighton winced, before she nodded hastily, and smiled softly back at you.

“I’m okay,” she managed, and you expressed relief, before you delicately brushed away a strand of stray hair that had managed to fall over her left eye again. “Are - Are you okay? I - I was scared that I-.. I don’t know. Did I hurt you?”

“No, baby - you - you’ve never hurt me.”

Leighton’s demeanour relaxed as a sheepish smile played on her lips again.

“Good, that - that’s good.”

She replied in a voice close to a whisper.

“So, can - can I - y’know?”

She asked again a little quieter, and you raised your eyebrows back at her, before grinning faintly, and leaning forward to initiate the next kiss.

She didn’t hesitate to melt into it, wrapping her arms carefully around your waist as her eyelids fluttered shut again.

You didn’t expect the kiss to deepen, the way it did.

Neither did you expect it to be you who had initiated such a change.

It was like that, for a little while; she was holding your body close to her own as you held her even closer, you leaning back a little as she eased you a little further backward, as if deciding whether she wanted to straddle you, when you both were outside; still on the hill, the possibility still that people might walk by.

You could tell she was holding back, and you knew for a fact that you were, too, afraid of what might happen if-..

You were terrified you couldn’t ever be-..

Shortly after such thoughts had invaded your mind, Leighton had pulled out of the kiss, instead moving onto your neck as you shuddered a little in response to the action, trying to stay calm though you tensed in her arms again.

“B-Baby,” you strained out, your voice hardly there as she pressed light kisses down the skin of your neck, before trailing them across your right shoulder.

“I love you,” she whispered against your skin.

You could hardly breathe as you nodded timidly, before turning your head a little so you could press a kiss to the right side of her head.

She only stopped to glance up at you again, her gaze locking with your own as you tried to breathe; just breathe, for her, as you affectionately connected your forehead to her own again.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you manage, eventually.

Leighton raised her eyebrows.

“We can’t, Leight - not here,” you reiterate, and she appears a little disappointed, at that, her eyes darkening as she pouts back at you.

“It is really quiet, though,” she protests.

“Exactly. It’s quiet, so we’ll be heard.”

You pondered, and Leighton groaned.

“We should probably just-”

“But-.. if - if we went home, would-..”

She winced, trying to find the right words again.

“Would you - maybe - want to-.. y’know - do that, with - with me? Or less? Or - n-not - not even at all? We don’t have to - I don’t want you to think that I-”

You didn’t know what made you feel confident to do it as you delicately kissed her to try and reassure her.

Once the kiss had sadly passed, you raised your right hand up to her left cheek again.

She didn’t hesitate to melt into your touch, her heart stuttering every time her gaze flicked back to your’s.

“I want to. Leight, I-.. I want to.”

She expresses relief again as the smile comes back, and you smile softly back at her.

You never expected it, when you felt her left hand resting on your right leg.

You shuddered again, and at so small a touch.

“Leight-!”

You strain, sounding slightly more alarmed and exasperated than you had before.

“Hey, it’s okay - just - just don’t think about anything else, just - focus on me, okay?”

“And if someone sees-?”

You questioned, and Leighton shrugged nonchalantly.

“They either won’t care, or they’ll call the police, in which case we’ll just run, ‘kay?”

She muses easily.

You hesitated, before you nodded tightly, wanting her to know that you trusted her, with more than your life.

She smiled softly again, before she leaned forward to press an even softer kiss to your lips.

It doesn’t take things long to progress, though, as she gently runs her left hand even further up your leg again.

The touch sends shivers through you, just like almost every touch does where Leighton Murray is concerned.

You tried to do as your mind kept telling you to do, trying not to allow a whimper to escape you as her fingertips brush over the upper level of your central point - clothed, of course.

You were grateful to her for now slowly and carefully she was carrying out her execution, as she delicately begins to run her palm further down, you shuddering again at the touch as your breathing pattern begins to go awry.

Her own pattern seemed to be failing, alongside your’s, as she continued to rub, just a little harder, your lips growing slightly agape as you pressed your face into the right side of her neck again.

You tried not to move against her touch, afraid of what would happen if-..

You didn’t want to think about the fear anymore; just her.

She could never hurt you like he did.

You knew that; you hoped you knew that, by now.

She waited until she could feel you growing damper, and at this point you struggle not to move as whimper barely audibly, breaths shaky and hot against her skin.

She tries not to lose focus.

When she thinks you’re ready, switches her hand, relocating her left to the small lower of your back as her right hand comes into play.

Before you could even acknowledge it, her hand was slipping into your dark leopard jeans, you tilting your head back a little as you cursed barely audibly, and she shuddered at the sound; of your warmth against her palm; her fingertips again.

Her heart stutters as she leans forward to kiss your agape lips again, you passionately kissing her back as your tongue delicately meets her’s.

She can’t bring herself to care about breathing anymore, as she focuses on you; the way you taste; the way the fingers of your right hand dig into her hair, fingernails lightly brushing against the back of her head.

She exhales softly at the sensation, before she cups your central point, smiling against your lips again; it’s so warm in her hand.

She begins slowly, using the middle finger of her right hand to push passed your folds again.

You holt at the touch, a shaky hum escaping you as she affectionately connects her forehead to your own, trying to comfort you with coos of encouragement; sweet nothings.

You soon relax, burying your face back into the crook of her neck as she curls her finger a little, her fingertip running along the surface of your bud again.

You shake a little at the throbbing, trying to distract yourself as you scrape your teeth lightly against her skin.

She shudders, whimpering softly as she eases another finger - her non-wedding finger; the index she was saving for last, still - alongside her middle, your bud already easily overwhelmed as your face crumples a little again.

She proceeds to move carefully, curling the new finger alongside her middle, before she runs her index finger a little more easily passed the folds, and along the bud pulsing beneath her fingers.

She breathes a little heavier as she rubs a little faster, you unable to even think anymore as you subconsciously gyrated against her touch, eyelids fully closed as you did.

It only got more overwhelming from there.

Eventually, she moved her fingers further down, before curling them again as she delicately kissed at your neck again.

You whimpered again softly as she pressed her fingers in, and your walls were around them.

You were scared of shaking even more as you clung to her even tighter, not sure how long you could last, now.

She remained to be careful with you, though, as she moved her fingers slowly, at first, brushing the surface of her thumb over your bud all over again.

You shuddered as you slowly thrusted against her movements, sweat faintly lining your forehead so easily as your chest brushed her’s in the best way possible.

You wanted her to feel the sensation, too, not just to-

The air felt too warm as you felt a tightness fast growing, especially as the movements grew quicker, her feeling the ache between her own legs more prominently now as you moaned barely audibly; breath shaky again against her neck as you tried to keep yourself composed, nipping a little at her neck even more as you brought yourself to relocate your right hand between you both, her jolting when she felt your touch slipping into her own tights again.

“Fuck-”

She breathed as you rubbed at her own bud as fast as you could, right now.

She easily cracked underneath your touch as she clung to you tighter with her free hand, moaning faintly against your shoulder as she moved against you, whilst trying still to return the favour for you, all at the same time.

It was harder not to cry, the more your high approached; you whimpered a little more frequently, the alias of her name escaping your lips a couple of times as you tried to stay; tried not to run away, or get scared anymore as you continued to fuck against her touch, unable to keep your eyes fully open, most of the time.

You tried to focus on her breaths, shaky and short, her movements soon growing to be sloppier and slippery again.

“Baby,” she whispered in a strained manner as she delicately kissed you, you melting easily into the warm touch of lips as you deepened the kiss again, shakily leaning against her a little.

When you began to tense up even more, feeling like you couldn’t hold it for much longer, you bit back your trembling bottom lip as you buried your face back into her neck again, waiting for the knot to loosen.

It came shortly after that, and you cried out quietly as the nails of your left hand dig a little more into the material of her jacket, and her’s the softer texture of your jumper again.

She shook against you for a moment, breathing unsteadily as she lifted her free hand up to the back of your neck, only lightly squeezing.

For a moment, you both tried to catch your breaths together, gazes meeting shortly after as Leighton giggled breathlessly, glad she’d not made you cry again.

Your heart stuttered as she lifted her left hand up to your right cheek.

“Was it good, baby?”

You didn’t hesitate, as you nodded your head tiredly, before connecting your forehead to her own again.

“It - It’s - It’s always - I love you, Leighton Murray - I’ve always fucking loved you.”

Your voice trembled lightly again as her expression softened, her eyes glinting, before she brushed her lips a little more lazily against your own.

You’ve never felt so warm before.

☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

Thank you so much for reading, guys!

I hope you enjoyed it, and are looking forward to the next one!

I will ensure to get this posted onto the Leighton Murray Masterlist, as well as onto ao3, soon!

Until then, I hope you all have a lovely rest of the day/night, and I look forward to seeing you again, soon!

For now, however, I have been - as usual,

And as always,

Your ever faithful, H.H.

Until the next time, guys! 💜

☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽☦︎︎☾☽

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bookloure · 1 year ago

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I hesitate to call whatever this it is I’m writing here as book reviews, so I guess tawagin ko na lang silang #ReadingJourney. So ayun, here’s my reading journey with RM Topacio-Aplaon’s “Topograpiya ng Lumbay.”

Based on this book alone, I find a lot of similarities between RM Topacio-Aplaon’s writing and themes to Haruki Murakami. In my head, I see him as a “grounded Murakami.”

Topograpiya ng Lumbay follows three lonely people whose lives intersect because of a horrific event that coincided with Yolanda. In the span of a week or so, we follow their journey to unearth the past and, more importantly, find themselves. It’s one of those nothing-really-happens book. The reader just follows these lonely characters to places and listens to their pseudo-deep conversations. As I said, very Murakami-esque.

Another (unfortunate) similarity between RM and Haruki is how they write women. The fetishization of thin, lithe women is all over the novel. In more than one scene, Melody, who has a ‘maliit na suso’ at ‘mapupulang tuhod,’ masturbates for nothing but to cater to the male gaze. (I’m just tired of it. Having read a lot of women authors, I am highly sensitive to these things now. And I’m glad I am. I wouldn’t have noticed all of these bullshit when I was sixteen, and that’s sinister.)

That said, there were enough interesting elements in the novel to keep me going. It touched on topics that I thought were interesting. I can rally behind the body horror-ish vibes of the book. There are many scenes where the gross bodily fluids and functions were underscored. Clearly, may pinaglalaban din si RM pagdating sa depiction ng kadiring mga bagay na ginagawa ng mga katawan natin sa mga nobela. Merong mga pangugulangot, pagkamot ng bayag, pag-amoy ng hininga etc. At masasabi ko namang na-enjoy ko yung grossness.

There were moments when characters were used as mouthpieces. And I thought hindi ganon ka-elegant yung pagka-insert ng mga opinyon nya sa narrative. For one, RM has some strong opinions about Filipino readers who seem to prefer English novels, which I do not agree with. I tend to give Filipinos more grace just because our colonial past, our government, and the systems here are shit.

It’s the novel’s political dimension that I enjoyed the most. It felt to me like I was let in on a secret. I should say tho, that all the horrific scenes happen around this political dimension; there’s torture, mutilation, and bestiality (which thankfully was not depicted in a graphic way.) And I know that politics in rural areas of the country are violent—who can ever forget the Maguindanao Massacre?—but it’s important to be reminded.

Overall, this is not a favorite book, but I’m not giving up on RM Topacio Aplaon yet. (hello, cognitive dissonance!) I still have two of his books that I want to read before I can say for sure that he’s not the author for me.

May pakiramdam akong maiinis si RM Topacio Aplaon na Ingles ‘tong review ko ng libro nya, but whatever.

#book review #bookblr #booklr #philippine literature #topograpiya ng lumbay #rm topacio aplaon

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royalvelvette · 1 year ago

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devil to you, angel to me (what am i then)

Read on Ao3

Rating: Mature

Characters: Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie Minor Appearances: Razzle, Dazzle

Warnings: Broken Bones, Aftermath of Violence, Injury Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Death Wish, Hurt No Comfort, Non-Graphic Violence The suicidal feelings/death wish are from Vaggie, starting in Charlie's second POV and continuing into Vaggie's following that. There's no way to get around it due to it being the source of the fight, unfortunately. I recommend skipping this one if you're sensitive to such topics.

There is a summary of the story in the end notes on Ao3, for those curious/wanting to know more of what they're getting into.

Word Count: 1571

It was day number three of living with the strange demon who seemed intent on nursing her back to health, and Vaggie was... confused. The demon defied all of Vaggie’s expectations – everything she had ever known about her kind. She hadn’t asked for anything in return for... taking care of Vaggie; not even for the bandages she had used to wrap her eye in the alley. She hadn’t tried to take a pound of flesh for Vaggie getting vomit on her pants. She left Vaggie alone when Vaggie snapped at her, and steamrolled over all of her attempts to even hint at payment.

(Help like this couldn’t be free. Not here. Not from one of them.)

And it wasn’t like the demon was just a sinner. No; if Vaggie had to guess, the demon who she now lived with was one of the ones called an overlord, or at least close to one. The bedroom Vaggie was being kept in could only be described as opulent , with its high ceiling and large windows. The ensuite had a tub that almost rivalled the one all exorcist buildings were fitted with, and the decor almost reminded Vaggie of the few times she had been within the city gates aside from the colour scheme. Plus, from the quick looks out the door Vaggie snuck whenever the demon left for the night, the building they were in was huge. From her doorway alone, Vaggie could count at least six other rooms. If the demon keeping her wasn’t an overlord herself, she was definitely one’s favoured soul. There was just... one problem with that, one thing that pointed to her being an overlord outright.

Favoured souls usually had no power of their own, and therefore, no servants – except for maybe an imp. Nothing like the two flying goat creatures that followed her hostess like ducklings. The thought that Vaggie was at the mercy of an overlord...

...was terrifying.

Vaggie had only had the misfortune to come across an overlord once. It was a sinner so twisted by power that she could barely recognize it as something once-human, even more than the other sinners. It had taken the combined efforts of Vaggie, Lute, and several others to finally bring that... thing down.

(She could still remember the discordant snap of Lute’s wing fracturing as she was thrown at the ground too fast to correct or catch herself; it was the only year Adam had ever had the highest kill count, before or since.)

Charlie hummed as she prepared Vaggie’s lunch. She still wasn’t used to cooking, not really, but Razzle was a reassuring presence at her shoulder, correcting her when she tried to add too much of something, and Dazzle was always ready with whatever she needed before she even realized she needed it; with them at her side, the process went pretty smoothly.

(She pretended not to notice Razzle and Dazzle sneaking bites whenever they thought she wasn’t looking – there was more than enough food to go around.)

Charlie stepped back, hands on her hips to observe the tray. It wouldn’t win any awards any time soon, but it had a lot of protein which would be good for Vaggie’s healing process! Probably. Maybe she should actually call Auntie Belphagor, or maybe Bee, to figure out what would help the best. At the very least, it probably wouldn’t do Vaggie any harm.

Razzle churred inquisitively.

“Huh?” Charlie shook her head. “Oh, I’m just thinking, Razzle. Do you think I should call Auntie Belphagor and see if there’s anything specific I should be feeding her..?”

Razzle shrugged, clicking.

Charlie sighed. “No, I shouldn’t bother her, you’re right. I’ll just... wait and see. If Vaggie doesn’t seem to be getting better though...”

Dazzle hrrred, shaking the bottle of painkillers imported directly from Sloth.

“Just one today,” Charlie said, picking up the tray of food after Dazzle shook out the requisite one pill. “Thanks, guys.”

Dazzle bonked against her left shoulder while Razzle bonked her right.

“I better get this up to her. I hear routines are good for limiting stress...”

Vaggie looked up from the paper she was sketching on as humming approached from beyond the door, a surefire way to know a meal was on its way.

(She had never been much of a drawer, but there wasn’t much to do in her the room.)

Like clockwork, there was a sharp knock on her door shortly after she had noticed the humming. The demon never just barged in, even though there wasn’t much Vaggie could do to stop her.

“Vaggie?” a familiar voice called. “I have lunch for you.”

Vaggie debated with herself for a moment, before calling out, “It’s open.”

The demon entered, balancing a tray of food as she did so. The two little goats were absent from her side, surprisingly.

“Just set it down,” Vaggie said, turning her attention back to her doodling.

The demon listened, setting it on top of the nightstand, but she didn’t leave like she normally did when Vaggie indicated disinterest. Vaggie sighed and set her pencil down. That probably meant she would have to... talk to the demon, to get her to leave.

(She wasn’t going to eat with the demon in the room with her. Who knows if she’d be allowed to finish?)

The demon cleared her throat. “There’s, uh, a painkiller with it,” she said quietly. “How... how are you feeling, overall?”

“Fine,” Vaggie said.

“Your eye doesn’t hurt?” the demon pressed.

Vaggie grit her teeth, biting back her instinctive response. “Not so much. The bite hurts the most, right now.”

The demon winced, glancing at where Vaggie’s arm – where one of the goats had bitten her that first day – was hidden under the sleeve of the too-big sweater she was wearing. “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “Razzle is just... protective. But everything else is... okay? Your back-”

Vaggie didn’t want to talk about her back, not when... not with a demon. Not with this demon.

“Why do you even care?” Vaggie snapped.

The demon flinched back. “I just – it looked really bad- I care!” she stuttered.

Vaggie gave her the coldest look she could muster. “You’re a demon,” she said.

Charlie resisted the urge to flinch again, but barely. The way Vaggie said the word demon reminded her of the way some sinners sneered princess at her.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care,” she tried. “I-”

“Yes, it does! ” Vaggie exploded. “Demons can’t care! Because if you care, if demons care, then that means-” she cut herself off with a ragged gasp.

Charlie waited. It was clear that Vaggie had more that she wanted to say; Charlie could give her the space to say it, even if it hurt.

“Why do you care?” Vaggie asked again.

This time, as an actual question, instead of just aiming to hurt with her words. Her eyes were big, and wet, and she looked so utterly hopeless as she asked the question...

(Delicious, something inside of Charlie hissed.)

Charlie sighed. “I guess... it’s not that I care, exactly,” she hedged (even though she did, she cared so much for her people, but it was clear Vaggie wasn’t going to accept that right now). “It’s... everyone deserves help when they need it. And you needed help.”

Vaggie was very, very still when she answered. “I didn’t deserve help,” she said. “I should have died.”

Charlie reared back. “Don’t say that!”

“But it’s true!” Vaggie said, standing from the desk chair with enough force to knock it over. “I should have died in that alley!”

“Vaggie-” Charlie tried, but Vaggie wouldn’t hear it.

“They left me to-”

Vaggie cut herself off with a gasp again. She had nearly said too much in her outburst – she doubted the demon would keep helping her if she knew exactly what she was helping. She panted harshly.

“Vaggie...” the demon said.

Vaggie turned away, hugging herself. “I just... I don’t understand,” she said plaintively. “I deserved to die; why am I still alive...?”

A hand – demonic – tipped in familiar claws landed on her shoulder. The demon Charlie gently spun her around, looking down at Vaggie with compassion.

“It’s not about what we deserve ,” she said quietly, with such conviction that Vaggie didn’t even consider interrupting. “You don’t need to deserve help to get it, Vaggie. I’m helping you because I want to.”

“But why?!” Vaggie cried. “Why – why do you want to help me when-! When...”

(When Lute gouged her eye out, despite it being Vaggie who hauled her through the portal when her wing was broken. When Adam turned his back despite barely letting Vaggie out of his sight after the overlord. When her wings were stolen, cut away, banishing her forevermore to be surrounded by those she was meant to kill.

When Charlie was a demon, and Vaggie was something even worse than that.)

“I want to,” Charlie said again. “I... don’t like seeing people die if I can help it.”

Vaggie was silent, all of the fight leaving her at once. She deflated against Charlie, who cradled her against her chest like Vaggie was worth something even though she was worth less than nothing. What could Vaggie say in the face of such conviction?

Nothing. So she stayed silent, and let Charlie carry her to bed without protest, and ate her food even though it tasted like ash in her mouth.

#op content #my writing #chaggiefirsts #charlie morningstar #vaggie #charlie hazbin hotel #vaggie hazbin hotel #lute #lute hazbin hotel #adam #adam hazbin hotel #chaggie

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the-scouts-codex · 1 year ago

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Summary: “Yay I win!” Kalim cheered. Jamil was confused. “Huh? That means you have to think of something…oh no.” Kalim beamed even more. “Party at Scarabia!

Scout's Notes: Hello everyone. Guess what this is.( After months of this not being finished that it isn't even funny anymore) That's right, Part four, the final part of "Party at the Oasis" is finally here! This is Part four of my third work here on Tumblr, "Party at the Oasis!" The word count will be determined once the entire work has been completed. That being said, I have no clue on how many parts this will need. Also, that would mean that this work will not be on Ao3 until it's completed. Other than that, please enjoy Part four.

Part one, two, and three, are here.

TW: Slight mentions of Azul's past with bullying and anxiety. Nothing major or graphic.

Word count: 14135 (･o･)

A well deserved rest was needed after their intense game. Whether it be on the sand, under the pavilions or in the water, they decided to just relax. Renmu decided to float around the Oasis in a donut. After that well deserved win, Renmu felt great. He was happy that he wasn’t dead weight to them or useless, He was happy about his win, he was happy to see all their smiling faces when it happened, he was happy that they all congratulated him and that no one was cross with him. It made him truly happy. That feeling was something he had long forgotten back in his own world, something he gave up on trying to feel. The feeling was strange to him yet so welcomed. That feeling of happiness was almost esoteric to Renmu. He never thought he would be able to feel like that one day. But now he could and he didn’t want it to go away.

“A mark for your thoughts?”

Renmu blinked back into reality and noticed Jade circling around him; like a shark would when stalking its prey. Renmu again wondered how long his body actually was in its natural state. Sure the Tweels were 6 feet tall as humans but what about as mers?

“Might I say, that was very nice save you pulled off earlier.” Jade said with a smile. “Your win was very much deserved.”

Renmu smiled softly. “Oh…I-It was nothing really…”

“You seem to be deep in thought. Perhaps, I can lend you an ear?” Jade offered.

Renmu sighed. He didn’t want to dampen the mood. Everyone was having fun and he didn’t want to start getting too sensitive about things when he was supposed to be happy. But, Renmu guessed talking it out to someone wouldn't hurt. “Just thinking of my life before all of this.”

Jade stopped circling around the Prefect. “Oh, are you homesick?”

Renmu shook his head. “Iya, Iya. It’s not like I miss it or anything…It’s that…I have this inapplicable feeling with home. I don’t know what to feel or think about that.”

Jade nodded. “Then come with me for a moment.”

Jade dove underwater and grabbed onto Renmu’s hand and maneuvered Renmu through the thick foliage until they were in a small cove in the Oasis. The vegetation made it hard to find and dark, but not too dark to the point you couldn’t see anything. The air around them was also much cooler thanks to the dense greenery.

“Azul, can you come out for a second?” Jade asked.

Renmu didn’t realize that Azul was even in here. The water was too dark to see into for Renmu’s eyes and he couldn’t see where Azul was if he was somewhere on land. The water started to swish back and forth but Jade kept him still. Slowly, Azul’s head emerged from under the waves along with Floyd’s. Azul noticed Renmu and ducked back down. “Jade, I thought I told you to make sure no one followed you in here!”

“I brought him here. I was hoping you could lend him an ear?” Jade asked.

Azul could tell that Jade had no ill intent to shame him and that whatever the perfected needed it was something he only wanted them to hear. Azul slowly surfaced to face Renmu. It then occurred to Renmu that the water wasn’t actually dark from the overcrowded vegetation, no, It was because of Azul’s large appendages that sprawled out around him. Each tentacle was huge, not to mention the color of them added to the effect. One of the tentacles wrapped around Renmu’s arm. The feeling was perplexing to say the least. The grip was firm yet soft. Azul frowned and slapped the tentacle with his hand in an attempt for the tentacle to release the Prefect’s arm. The tentacle released its hold but there were now large round marks left on Renmu’s skin.

Floyd laughed. “Shrimpy got octopus kisses.”

“Sorry about that…” Azul mumbled. “I can’t always control them…”

Renmu smiled. “Daijoubu desu.”

“What did you two need?” Azul asked.

“The perfect is feeling rather homesick.” Jade answered

“Homesick?” Azul asked, confused.

“It’s not exactly that, it’s…I feel like I should miss it but I don't…” Renmu trailed off.

“Why don’t you miss home?” Azul asked. “ I would imagine from your circumstance that you would.”

Renmu sighed. “And that’s my problem. I don’t because back at home, I had nothing. I didn’t have friends to talk to, a family to go back home to, or anything to look forward to. So, I don’t exactly miss it but being here, happy, kinda makes me feel sad.”

Azul nodded. “I get that. There are some things about home I think a lot of us wish to forget but then run back to when things get tough. I would know. I have been back home a few times but sometimes, I rather stay up here.”

“Azul doesn't like to transform back when we get in the water.” Floyd intoned. “It’s why he hates going back.”

Azul frowned. “I have my reasons.”

“But you still miss doing it right?” Floyd asked. “Like now. You willingly changed back this time because you missed it.”

“Yes there Is nothing wrong with feeling good in your own skin, Azul” Jade said, chiming in.

“That’s easy for you two to say. You two didn’t…well, You two don’t really have a reason to dislike your own skin.” Azul argued. “But yes, I did feel a little “Homesick” if you will.”

Renmu wanted to ask why Azul hated being in his true form. Renmu felt that he already knew the answer to that though. Renmu dealt with things like that before, in his own world. Yeah coming here he did get one or two altercations or just some haughty students trying to get a reaction out of him. But when it happened here, in this world, it felt different. He wasn’t all that bothered by it. Sure sometimes it did break through the walls he built up, leaving him to patch them back up and wait for the cement to dry, but they didn’t leave gaping holes and lasting marks like the ones back at home left.

“So what exactly about home do you not miss?” Floyd asked.

“The people, my school, my circumstances, many things.” Renmu said trailing off. “I’m an orphan so I don’t have a family to go back to. I dropped out at 15 and have worked in a graveyard since. And having a bright future never crossed my mind…”

“Why’d ya drop out, Shrimpy?” Floyd pressed.

Renmu didn’t answer. Jade and Azul shot Floyd an unimpressed look. Knowing Floyd, he has no boundaries. He asked questions that might not be asked. He has no filter or knows what’s appropriate or not. Maybe Floyd did know but if he did or didn’t, it didn’t matter to him in the slightest.

“I was bullied so I just stopped going…” Renmu mumbled.

Their little cove became quiet. Renmu just looked up through the gap between the foliage, looking up and the smattering amount of blue that fought its right to to be seen. Renmu looked back to Azul who had a glint in his eyes that just said “I understand.”, “You don’t have to keep talking.” But Renmu wanted to. He wanted to keep letting all those past things go like the leaves in the wind, to let all the things that he bottled up finally dry up like this Oasis. He didn’t want to have a reason to keep refilling the hole inside him. He wanted it to close up and never open again.

“Home reminds me of all the bad things.” Renmu mumbled. “Sure, there are some good things but all the bad things make me hate it. It makes me want to never turn back. It makes me-want to stay here. I want to start over here with you all at this school. You guys, make me happy and forget all those bad things. Yet, I feel guilty for not wanting home…”

Floyd looked lost in the sauce at Renmu’s Soliloquy. Floyd didn’t do deep feelings and heartfelt words. Jade and Azul understood though, especially Azul. He understood that pain. That want, that need, that desire to start all over with new faces that didn’t know of your past, so that they could never bring your past back up to haunt you, to hurt you, to use you. It’s what he’s been doing up here, starting anew to better himself and become someone new. Someone that didn’t get made fun of as a kid for being different and for being sensitive.

Azul never took Renmu to be the one to want to start over. He thought of him as he thought of Floyd and some others sometimes. Reckless and clueless. Someone that hid behind many masks like Cater, Someone that shut themselves out like Idia. Not once did he think of Renmu like himself. Azul, the boy that was bullied and bottled all his pain to the point it broke him. The boy who wanted to erase the past rather than face it. To pretend it never existed. But that just does more harm than good.

“I shared too much, didn’t I?” Renmu finally asked.

“Not at all.” came Jade’s reply. “I feel like you opened some of our eyes.”

Azul knew Jade was referring to him. He wouldn’t lie, the Prefect did open his eyes a bit. He now saw the Ramshackle Prefect as someone he mirrored greatly. He saw himself through someone else's eyes almost. It made him start to think of his own past differently. It made him want to get to know the Prefect a bit more.

“I’m hungry. Ima go back to eat half the table.” Floyd whined, as he dove into the water with a quiet “plip”.

Jade chuckled. “Oh my, I better go with him before there's none left for us.” Jade dove into the dark water to catch up to his Twin. Azul and Renmu were left behind in silence.

“Renmu,” Azul finally spoke. “How do you forget about the bad things about yourself?”

Renmu was taken back by Azul’s question for a moment but answered none the less. “You don’t. They are part of you and you learn to love them. Though, I’m not sure if i’m the one to talk…”

Azul didn’t answer. He looked down at the many appendages that sprouted from his body like wild wisteria. He couldn’t find any reason to love all eight of those things. Not when all he thought of all the bad things that those kids said about them when he was younger. Those words were branded into his mind, whenever he saw them, those words surfaced and made him scowl at his own body.

Renmu knew that look in Azul’s eyes. Pure disgust, resentment, hatred. He knew that look too well, especially back at home. They would always look at him like that when he was around. He never wanted to see people look at him like that anymore.

“Azul-Senpai, I can't speak on behalf of everyone else, the people that harmed you but, I like you just the way you are. Just like this.” Renmu said, gesturing to Azul’s octopus form. “It makes you, you.”

Azul unconsciously pulled Renmu into his tentacles. Renmu allowed himself to be held in the giant squishy appendages like it was a giant hug. Azul sighed at the sight. Renmu smiled. “Daijoubu desu, Azul-Senpai. It’s like a giant hug.”

Azul smiled softly. “Would you believe me if I told you that I used to be a lot bigger and a crybaby? That I wasn’t as strong as I am now? That forced myself to change to save myself from all the hurt?”

Renmu nodded. “Would you believe me if I told you that I forced myself to speak in a different way to avoid getting hurt?”

Azul was curious now. “I believe you but how so, Prefect.”

“I altered the pitch of my voice as a kid so that the other kids would make fun of me anymore.” Renmu explained.

“Then how does it normally sound?” Azul inquired.

“Like this.” Renmu said, his voice dropping an octave.

Azul was surprised. The prefect’s natural voice sounded very similar to Idia’s versus the higher pitch that he forced. Azul wondered how he was able to even do that, let alone keep it up for so long without failing.

“I got used to it after a while.” Renmu explained. “ They said my voice didn’t match the way I looked, the way I acted. So I fixed it. But that only made it worse…”

Azul’s appendage finally let go of the prefect. Slowly, the tentacle unraveled itself from around Renmu’s body and dipped back into the water. Azul watched each appendage move around underneath him. Each one did their own thing sometimes it it annoyed him greatly. Then again, part of him didn’t actually detest it. He was happy when he was back home with his mom and grandmother like this. It was just like them. They were the only ones that understood how it felt. He liked the idea of being stronger than the twins like this, he liked the idea of being bigger than them for a change. He had the best advantage in the water and the twins never forgot that. It made him swell with pride at those things. Maybe all Azul ever needed was someone like Renmu to actually help learn to love himself growing up, someone who accepted him for him. Not for his knowledge or for his contracts and schemes. But actually for who he truly was, a sensitive octo-mer that just wanted friends and someone that would love him and all of his eight appendages. And maybe that’s what the Prefect needed too. Someone who would accept him for his scars, his voice, his need to just have one friend to see the world as a bright place.

“AZUL! C’MON!” Floyd called out. His beckoning voice echoed through the oasis.

“I guess we should meet up with the others now…” Azul mumbled.

“Yeah before all the food is really eaten.” Renmu siad with a chuckle.

Renmu shimmed his body through the donut hole and began propelling himself through the vegetation. Azul simply dove under it all and swam through to the other side. Azul surfaced and helped pull Renmu through rest and back to the shoreline of the Oasis. Renmu was the first to step foot on the sand. He dropped his donut floatie oof with the rest of them. Azul then surfaced, not as a human but as a mer. His tentacles slithered and wriggled around as he moved forward. The others watched in fascination as Azul began to slowly change fully into a human once more. The purple hue of his skin slowly faded into flesh tones, his eight appendages merged into one another in a pair of four and began turning into two human legs and feet. His size and form also slowly reduced in size and shaped into one of a human. By the time he reached the pavilion, he was human.

“Eh, Cool.” Floyd said with a smile.

“Indeed.” Jade commented in agreement.

“That was like something in an Anime…” Idia mumbled softly.

Azul felt awkward from all the staring and comments. For once, he knew there was no ill intent with them. Just curiosity and amazement. Not even Leona or Jamil said anything ill about the way his body looked changing into a human. Maybe this could be a start for him with being more open about who he truly was.

Azul cleared his throat awkwardly. “So…I’m hoping there is some food left for me?”

The cold desert night was drawing near. The sun was setting, leaving behind a deep orange and golden glow. The Oasis was calm and the heat of the sun began to wane. Everyone decided to enjoy the peace and quiet of the desert around a crackling bonfire. Leona and Ruggie provided an array of meat that could be cooked over the open flame while Trey provided marshmallows and other sweet treats. Healthier options like vegetables and fruit were also being cooked over the fire.

Renmu watched the little embers float away into the evening sky as he roasted a marshmallow on the open flame. He thought of the summer festivals back at home that he often watched from afar. He always wondered what it was like, being able to hang out with friends around a bonfire; dancing, playing, laughing. Renmu was far too lost in thought to realize that the once soft treat was now charred and crispy.

“Dear boy, your treat is as crispy as my hair the day Malleus first drew fire breath.” Lilia said amused.

Renmu looked down at his stick which was now also flaming like a torch. Renmu sighed and tossed the whole thing into the fire. Renmu picked up a new stick and marshmallow and tried again.

“What's the matter, Prefect?” Silver asked. “Is it because you burnt your treat?”

Renmu shook his head. “Just thinking is all…”

“About?” Silver asked again?

Now everyone had Renmu’s attention. They all wanted to know what got the once happy Prefect so down in the slumps in the matter of hours. Renmu groaned dramatically and flopped backwards onto the sand below. “Mou! I don’t want the day to end!”

Everyone went silent before letting out a genuine laugh. Renmu was confused as to why most of them started laughing.

“Is that all?” Riddle asked, holding back his smile.

“And here I thought it was something serious.” Cater said smiling.

“Renmu, you know we will have more opportunities like this in the future, right?” Kalim asked.

“Yeah,” Leona answered in agreement. “Especially since the Headmage wants us to do the whole “Bonding” thing.”

“I already know what I actually want all of us to do when it’s my turn.” Vil said happily.

“Oh no.” Leona groaned. “Make that Primadona go last! I know he will make us dress up or act.”

“Yeah.” Idia mumbled. “Make us do extroverted things.”

“Like you would even suggest anything fun?” Azul asked.

Idia sprang up from his spot on the sand. “Uh, yeah? Mega game night?”

“Sounds boring.” Ruggie mumbled

“Sounds fun.” Lilia chirped.

“Of course that ol’ bat would think that’s something fun.” Leona growled.

“Oh? And what would you do, Leona?” Riddle asked.

“Simple. Pool party or a spelldrive game.” Leona answered as he took a bite out of his charred meat.

“That sounds fun!” Kalim said beaming.

They went back and forth on what they thought was an idea of a good time together. Renmu realized that he was thinking of sad things when the fun, the games, the laughs, the memories were just getting started. Soon he would have many things to look back on and maybe friends that would want to keep wanting to make more memories like that. Renmu couldn’t help but smile.

“Ah, you’re smiling again.” Lilia said, ruffling Renmu’s hair. “Look forward to tomorrow, dear child.”

Renmu nodded and went back to perfecting his marshmallow.

“Oh. I totally forgot about the sparklers!” Cater yelled, scrambling up to retrieve the bag.

“Ooh sparklers!” Kalim and Floyd cheered.

“Kalim wait!” Jamil yelled running after him.

Everyone else began clearing a space for Cater to put down the big bag of sparklers. Once the bag was within arms reach, Kalim, Floyd, Ruggie, and Lilia went ham on the bag. Everyone else waited their turn to get one and lit them by the fire. Renmu took two of them and began running around the bonfire like a little airplane.

Leona watched in amusement. “Look at the Herbivor.”

The others watched fondly at the Ramshackle Prefect run around the bonfire, a big happy smile plastered on his face, a face that normally would be void of any smile. For once, Renmu was finally feeling the weight of his past life, his past memories, his past feelings, being lifted off his shoulders. He could finally feel what it is like to be happy, to have friends, to make good memories. He could finally smile with all his heart.

“Looks fun!” Kalim cheered, running after Renmu.

“Oh I want to run too!” Lilia chimed in standing up.

The three of them left trials of sparking lights behind them as they ran around the bonfire. Their colored lights looked like shooting stars in the night sky. To the Heartslabyul trio, they looked like they were trying to get dry after coming out of the ocean. They three tired out after a few more laps and laid panting on the cool sand.

Cater chuckled at the three. “Let's get this party started!”

Cater turned up his speaker and began playing some music. Cater placed his phone down and started dancing around the bright fiery flames.

“Leave it to Cater to bring the music.” Trey said smiling.

Leona and Jamil didn’t need to be told twice it seemed. Leona had lit two stakes on fire and started a fire dance. He was spinning the flaming stakes around, occasionally spinning and tossing them in the air. Jamil on the other hand kept the two sparklers and was break dancing on the sand. With each movement, the colored sparks dance with him. The sight was captivating. The glow of the warm flames against their skin made them look so elegant yet fierce.

“Don’t burn yourselves please.” Riddle begged. “I don’t want to administer first aid for 3rd degree burns.”

“We ain’t that clumsy, Red.” Leona argued as he tossed the two takes in the air and caught them with ease.

Renmu watched all of them before him. He watched Leona and Jamil dance without a care in the world. He watched Kalim, Lilia, and Floyd have a sparkler battle, he watched Riddle scold Floyd that were being reckless, he watched Rook and Vil lie together under the setting sun, Cater taking selfies and photos of it all, Trey and Malleus talking about making their sparklers change color, Idia and Azul enjoying one blue sparkler together, Ruggie stuff his cheeks with food, Jade watch his brother in amusement, and Silver falling asleep. It was these moments that Renmu loved and cherished dearly. He loved every bit, every second of it all. This, this what it feels like to be happy. To have friends and to make memories.

“C’mon, Renmu!” Cater yelled. “Let’s take a picture before we go!”

Renmu nodded and ran over to their group and found a spot in the camera.

“Everyone ready?” Cater asked.

There was a chorus of yeses, yups, and, yeahs, confirming that everyone was good to go.

“Alright,” Cater said, holding up the camera more. “Say-”

“Party at the Oasis!” Kalin cried out.

Everyone took a deep breath and yelled, “Party at the Oasis!”

Can't believe this took me so long. 14135 words in all too. Thanks for reading and see you next time!

Need a way back? Here you go. The Archives.

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gaelic-symphony · 2 years ago

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A Year in the Life: September

Twelve vignettes from the married life of Tara Lewis and Emily Prentiss, written for the Year of the OTP writing challenge.

Prompt: Hurt/comfort. Also fills the square "I'll take care of you" for @prentiss-theorem's bingo challenge.

Words: 652

Warnings: Hospitals, minor injuries (nothing too graphic)

Read on AO3 or below the cut

Chasing after unsubs in boots over uneven terrain meant there was always the possibility of injury, and Tara felt the pop as her leg gave way beneath her and she tumbled to the ground. An x-ray at the hospital confirmed it: Her ankle was broken. Emily rushed over to the hospital as soon as she got the call from Matt that Tara was hurt, and she flung open the door to the hospital room where an orthopedist was preparing gauze and plaster to wrap Tara’s ankle.

“Tara, honey, what happened?” she cried as she hurried over to her wife’s side.

“I’m okay,” Tara assured her, “I just fell, no big deal.”

“Your wife has a lateral malleolus fracture,” the doctor said, “The lower part of her fibula is broken. It’s a clean break, and she’ll make a full recovery without surgery. There’s no need to worry, Mrs. Lewis.”

Emily felt a little flush and a pleasant tingle in her spine at hearing herself addressed that way, and she smiled down at Tara and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Okay, now, Tara, this will probably hurt a bit,” the doctor continued, “But before I put the cast on, I need to realign the bone so it’ll heal properly.”

“Need a hand to hold, babe?” Emily offered, extending her hand to Tara.

Tara grabbed Emily’s hand, and the doctor gently put his hand on Tara’s swollen ankle, letting her take a breath and prepare herself for what he was about to do. He squeezed her ankle joint, expertly manipulating everything back into place. Tara groaned in pain and grasped Emily’s hand as tight as she could, her fingernails digging into Emily’s skin. With her free hand, Emily gently stroked Tara’s hair and planted a soothing kiss on the top of her head. Once the doctor had finished setting the bone, Tara relaxed her grip on Emily’s hand and pulled it closer to kiss it.

“You’re doing great, Tara,” the doctor said, “The hard part’s over.”

“Are you sure the hard part’s not going to be having this big heavy cast on my leg for the next six weeks?” Tara chuckled wryly.

The doctor began wrapping Tara’s ankle, first in soft gauze, then in hard plaster. It was still tender, and Tara would occasionally wince in pain as the layers of the cast were added to particularly sensitive spots. Each time she winced, Emily wrapped her arm around Tara’s shoulders a little tighter and pulled her a little closer, as if she were trying to protect her wife from the pain.

“Last time I had a cast it was lime green,” Tara said wistfully, looking at the plain white plaster the doctor had just encased her leg in.

“How old were you?” Emily laughed.

“Eleven,” Tara said, “I fell off my bike and broke my arm.”

“Did all your friends sign your cast?” Emily asked.

“Of course!” Tara replied, “That was the best part!”

“Maybe you can get the team to sign your cast back at the office,” Emily joked.

“Guess I’m gonna be spending a lot of time there now,” Tara grumbled, “How long until I’m back in the field, doctor?”

“Oh, it’ll be at least a couple of months,” the doctor said, “Even once the cast comes off, you’ll still have some healing to do. Your body can’t just bounce back from a broken bone like it did when you were eleven. You’ll need to stay off that ankle and ease back into things. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t overdo it, doc,” Emily assured him.

Tara rolled her eyes. “Emily…”

“Nuh uh,” Emily shook her head, “Don’t even bother arguing. I’m taking you home, and you’re going to get plenty of rest.”

“Don’t you have to get back to work?” Tara asked.

“The team can take care of the case,” Emily said, “I’ll take care of you.”

#criminal minds #fanfiction #yotp 2023 #raeswritingbingo #rae 🧬#tara lewis #emily prentiss #temily #hurt/comfort

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indigopearl96 · 2 years ago

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I got bored soooo

Have some of my Headcanons for Moira from Overwatch!

☣️There’s some descriptions of violence but nothing graphic(I think)☣️

General Headcanons

Moira has some form of training. There’s no way in Hell Blackwatch would let their only healer depend on one item to defend herself with. While Biotic Grasp is a reliable way for her to defend herself, she’s not going to do as well if surrounded and/or on her own or against something like a tank (I may know this from experience playing OW-). So it’s not hard to believe that Moira has some basic training at least to ensure she isn’t vulnerable.

Moira has something going with her blue eye. In almost all of her skins, something is going on around her eye. The only ones that don’t have anything covering the eye or just have something going on with it are the Archive skins. Both, at most, cover her blue eye a bit but it’s still visible! I count these as canon as both are archive skins and the mini games are likely their way of canonically adding lore! So there is likely SOMETHING going on with her eye, my best guess is sensitivity and scarring she covers up, likely caused by her experiments. What experiments they could’ve been are hard to say.

Moira is TERRIFYING if you piss her off. There’s mad, and then there’s PISSED. Moira will usually have a stoic expression or a small smile but if you manage to make her mad, she will glare at you, be snippy and snaps at you more often. If you piss her off, she’s quiet. You’ll know that you pissed her off if you look at her and see her staring at you with wide eyes, as if you’re a prey. She’s glaring at you and never takes her eyes off of you. She’s silent and only stops staring if others are near. The experiments have affected her body enough that her being pissed seems to have a visual defect on her. Thankfully it’s surprisingly difficult TO piss her off but if you manage to do it, she’s figuring out how to make you suffer.

She’s a sadomasochist. She enjoys the more psychological and mental harm rather than physical. Watching someone’s mind break, shatter, and crumble satisfies and pleases her much more than watching someone writhe in physical pain. She actually find most physical harm inflicted onto others boring unless it’s done in a creative way. Her sadism is more known than her masochism as she rarely allows anyone to harm her. In terms of masochism, she enjoys being cut to the point she’s nearly bleeding out. It gives her a thrill, it excites her, she can go too far at times though. Her favorite form of masochism is being cut and possibly whipping but she’s too private for anyone to even think of the possibility.

She has siblings, however she keeps her family and childhood a secret. It’s not hard to find that information but she’s scarily protective over her siblings. No one has gotten close enough to figure out why she’s so protective.

She’s used to shenanigans because of her siblings, that doesn’t mean she likes them though. If she ever takes part, it’s either a very small contribution or can’t be traced back to her. She has to keep her more professional look after all.

She’s a patient person, it took weeks for Akande to figure out the progress of an experiment because she was going to experiment until she was done or she couldn’t continue. After that he made it clear that she had to give progress reports, she finds them a waste of time as she could’ve been experimenting instead of writing these reports but she reluctantly complies.

She genuinely loves insects—centipedes and spiders the most—and if she trusts you enough, she can and will go into a hyperfixated rant and ramble about the mentioned insect. If you manage to get into her room, you’ll find small bits of bug decor as well as her love for anime and manga.

She’s fluent in many languages. She always seems to know what someone’s saying regardless of the language spoken. It’s more of a question of what she doesn’t know now. She even knows and uses sign language! (Sombra has yet to find a language Moira doesn’t know well)

She actually listens to Sigma’s rambles and humors him, at first she would wonder and think about them but now she’s more annoyed by them with how often his thoughts wander from the subject to insanity.

She can be empathetic…she just doesn’t like or trust anyone enough to feel anything for them.

She genuinely believes she can improve and help others with her experiments and thinks if others let her, she could make many improvements to others. This may include the effects she and Reaper go through and what she has done to her rabbits.

She’s more sympathetic to animals than people and even then it’s usually the bare minimum. She can’t bring herself to euthanize the rabbits who can live the life of a pet so she often gives them up to owners if the changes left behind are minor. If the rabbits have gone through a major change, she keeps and takes care of them as she can’t bring herself to neglect them to death either. (She got attached to one and named it Rasputin as it nearly died twice but is still kicking. It’s a large rabbit with specks of white on its black fur, a mutation from her experiments.)

Moira has two phobias. Geese and Lightning/Thunder. Both are related to more traumatic events from her childhood that she’s kept quiet about. Both happened when she was a child and she’s been unable to work through them. She’s embarrassed of her phobias but thankfully she can hide them, mostly.

With Geese, she freezes and watches the animal. If it gets close, she’ll back away from it and avoid it. If it hisses and chases, it’s one of the few times you actually see her terrified and hear her scream. This does result in a panic attack if she’s been exposed to the animal for too long and she always ends up hiding in weird places that geese can’t get into. With lightning/thunder, she sort of just freezes and looks around. She’s more on edge and ends up hiding in small compact areas with headphones on to keep herself calm. No one has been able to figure out her trauma that triggered these phobias and why she hasn’t been to a therapist about them.

She likes to be annoying sometimes, especially if it’s payback for something.

I might add more later(maybe some nsfw headcanons), but this is what I got for now :p.

#moira #moira odeorain #overwatch moira #overwatch #overwatch 2 #headcanons

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iamnotawomanimagod · 1 year ago

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welp. time to just get this off my chest.

on tumblr it's "support Palestine or you are the scum of the Earth" but literally everywhere I go and everyone else I talk to is spouting the "there's two sides to this" "there are no good guys" rhetoric

so no, I'm not surprised that people who aren't chronically online in the deepest left spaces on the internet support Israel.

does it piss me off? of course it does. do I understand the omnipresent and pervasive nature of Western propaganda and the way very few people in Western culture are interested in confronting that? yeah, I do. is it fucked up that that's a reality in Western/American culture? yeah, it is. do I think screaming and mud-slinging at every person who even slightly suggests that there could be no good answers in this is even remotely productive, useful, or helpful? no. I'm not going to end the war by calling my chronically-ill, dying mother a genocide supporter.

I do not support the genocide and I am part of those that see the absolute need for an immediate ceasefire. I am the only one I know in my offline life that feels this way. My friends and family are all left-leaning.

it's difficult not to see the attitude here on tumblr as virtue signaling. it's also difficult to have any meaningful conversations with the people in my life about Palestine when this issue has been ongoing since before I was born. since before my mom was born. yes, people feel overwhelmed and scared and unsure of what the right thing to do is. that's a very human response to war. it's awful.

I don't think we should stop talking about Palestine. I do think tumblr has distilled this issue down to a single talking point that does not allow for any meaningful conversation to take place with the people who could actually have their minds changed, because if you step even the tiniest bit into the "two sides to every 'conflict'" discourse, you are labeled a supporter of genocide.

even posting this is going to get me some major side-eye, I know that. and yes, I am speaking from a place of enormous privilege, safety, and distance. I know.

I just think of all the other horrific shit going on in our world, every single day, and of how little impact me and my family and friends can actually have on any of it, and then I come on tumblr and every other post is about abhorrent actions taken against people who I cannot help. an absolute deluge of human suffering, graphic violence, and traumatizing images and stories that I can do absolutely nothing about.

geopolitics is not something I've ever had any hope of having significant impact on. it's so so so far above my head. it's so far out of my control. and I'm too sensitive of a little bitch to just keep swallowing the bad news and knowing I can never really fix it or even help in a meaningful way.

I don't want to visit a blog about bears and see images of children crushed under rubble. I don't want my favorite fandom blog to post video of victims waving white flags and being shot down.

who is this actually helping? whose mind is this actually changing, when you're on the "there is ONE side to this and if you think anything even a little bit otherwise, you are Evil" website?

I get two options when I vote. less genocide or more genocide. voting is the only thing I can do to influence my country's politics, and I was going to do it already anyway. my president is 100% culpable in this and he's STILL the better option.

and how people posting on tumblr lowkey do seem to think that they're going to stop the war that way. you aren't. this is a fucking echo chamber, and I know that's true because the moment I step outside of it, the discourse changes completely. you cannot and will not save the world by blogging. people who aren't blogging about it are not contributing to the genocide.

I guess if this is upsetting to you and you think I'm a bad person because I feel this way, you can unfollow me. if you're a mutual, at least soft-block me on the way out.

#rambling about my life #not going to tag this but it's about i/p

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tulipq · 5 months ago

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This year, I went from mostly feeling like an Amy style sufferer, to a Carol style sufferer.

No, I don't really think that is much of an improvement, more of a lateral.

Anyway, I wrote a fic that is a very Dallon Pelham Christmas. It's insanely fucked up, and contains religion more than you might expect, and it is still being drafted, but I figured it might be worth sharing.

No, seriously, lots of family being horrible, religious madness, improper quotation of Torah, child sexual abuse by a relative, and shit in this. I try to be up front about it in the text, but this needs like 5 kinds of sensitivity read before I can publish it without a huge disclaimer, and part of it is that it disclaims itself!

Accusations have been leveled against this story of being just like every other fanfic. I cannot deny that this story does have some tropes and ideas in come with other works in this space. I will not resent being shown the truth, but I will deny that this is a problem.

How would you greet a miracle? If it was like nothing you had ever seen before, would you know it for what it was? Have you seen the faces of children on Christmas morning? They rise hours before the winter sun ignites. They believe in dreams and all they mean, including heaven's generosity. They peak around the door to see what parsels offer glee and generosity. But Tommy doesn't….

Okay so I guess my taste in music is getting pretty obvious. Hit me up if you got recs.

Oh hey you know what Tommy does have? "Fiddle About", a song about familial rape.

Yeah, yeah. This is getting into the fucked up corners of this space. Entering the Amy zone. The song "Family Tree" off Youthanasia is also pretty hard for me to listen to. The idea of repression is a bit of a nightmare, but it does also seem like it does a good job of getting into the headspace I need to move through this.

I just have to swallow my feelings that anything I do here is wrong, and keep them held down with all the force of my esophagus. If that goes slack though, I might vomit up all the evils of humanity.

Anyway, it is December as I write this, so I am in a Christmas mood.

This has always been a story about greeting a miracle.

Let me show you how much I love you

The New Wave are doing a publicity stunt in a fucking mall. I hate malls so much, I hate mall Santas, and this freckly one doesn't even seem like he's got a sack or staff under those pants. He looks like he's the ugly orphan of the family, face covered covered in dark stains that are just small enough to let you know that she's, I mean maybe he's trans but doesn't seem like the costume was her idea now that I watch some more.

The huge blondes are all dressed as the merry elves of the village. All of them in greens and whites and with bells on their hats and boots. It's like Tolkien's elves decided to do a Christmas village. They even have ears on and tucked into their hats, like it is something they are trying to hide from the public. Disgusting.

Oh but Miss Claus is special. She's big like her daddie, and pretty as a picture with that aura that encourages you to see her as important, to believe what she wants you to believe. THAT'S MINE BITCH. I want to say to her, but I hover next to this skylight and watch. It's sleeting up here and I am fucking cold, but I need more data before I move in.

I am wearing my favorite outfit because today is a powerful day. My first shirt is an olive green graphic T-Shirt with Urahara Kisuke from Bleach on it. The thing is so oversized that his feet are poking out from under my sweet ass 90s patchwork looking grunge and puink vibes hoodie. This thing has so many colors and stars and suns inked into it. I sewed bells to it all over so it would be more attention getting and then stuffed a few into the hood. Between them is a black button down shirt with these amazing rich pink, yes it is not red it is a rich pink, stripes and a felt pattern that I just realized is a kind of heart. I have the zipper pulled down so my heart is visible on my chest, because it seems right. My pants are labeled with the brand of True Religion, and they are so comfortable that I don't even mind that boast. The shoes are this pair of dirt cheap things from Old Navy, but I have abused my feet for years and used duct tape to reinforce them, so they are immensely comfortable.

Is the aura her power? It doesn't fit in with the rest. Her flight fits with her aunt and cousins. Her strength is her father's. Her defenses are her mother's. What is that aura? Why is it making it hard for me to convince people of the things I want them to believe?

I lace my pinky, ring, and middle fingers, left pinky is the . I point to the sky with my index fingers. I point my thumbs at my ears. This creates a conduit to hear the sounds of heaven. I move the other end of my conduit to hover just behind Mr Claus behind and to her left. What do you hear?

"I want a you to kiss Lady Christmas!" Says a small child who seems to want this more than anything.

"Oh, well, uh. I can't be. I mean. She needs to-" Says Amy Dallon, who seems to want this more than anything but cannot admit it due to deep seated traumas.

"Oh my goodness, Nike,. I will give you a gift, and you may simply give it back when you have triumphed in your duties. For are we not each other's mirror?" Says Victoria, like a wise goddess who could out do Alexander before the knot.

Her aura of majesty is causing Santa's pants to darken and warm under the coat ever so slightly.

"Santa, did you just pee? You are supposed to do that in the bathroom! Miss Claus can't kiss you if you are stinky." The small girl sniffs, "You smell like mommy's toys, do you make those?" The elves turn to look at Santa with the most perplexed and disgusted faces. I could have told them it was not pee, but I like to believe Carol is smart enough to figure that one out.

Okay, that is enough of that. I hate being made to believe in Santa. And this bitch with the aura is saying stuff that makes me wanna kill everyone who heard it.

"It's our secret, you and me!"

I shout as loud as I can as spread my index and middle fingers from each other on both hands. I bring the tips of my middle fingers together while gazing down at the skylight. I feel the crystalline tensions within the glass. I learn the whole history of this pane of glass, from when it took solid form to now, from the subtle tensions I can feel between my fingers pressed together. Every intermolecular bond is in the connection of my two fingers. My thumb is tucked under the other fingers. The pink and ring are curled back in deference. But the indexes are proud and trying to reach each other. I flick my wrist on my worldly opposite hand, and thus touch the glass to my left hand's index finger.

This movement releases the tension between every segment of glass in the skylight that spans the entire length of this fifty meter long concourse's roof. Hundreds of square meters of glass fall towards me as drops of rain. They are bound to my will. So I bid some of them to protect me, and they do.

Then I bid that they defeat my enemies, and they do. The other members of the New Wave, the elves, less the one with purple hair who I guess doesn't have super powers yet or he just doesn't want to fuck up again, kill a half dozen people each before they realize I purified my servants of all weaknesses. The crystalline doubles that have been formed from the fallen glass are able to control their internal refraction like a human controls their thoughts. It is only natural that glass elves can do this.

"You have something of mine." I say to Victoria.

She responds by throwing a flying punch that would go clean through my head if it connected directly. I obstruct this path with my worldly hand, using spikes of glass to cause her defensive field to turn in on itself in order to destroy the disconnected spikes before she can impale her fist on them.

A glass cross flies into her face, branding the sign of the cross inverted into her defenseless face for the glass had taken on a fiery spirit to express the outrageous insult of attacking its master.

And then I punch her in the face really hard. It sends her into a spin.

She just kinda floats there instead of falling unconscious like you would expect.

Rotating like a chicken on the spit.

"I gave you a bunch of brain damage just now. This is fair because your aura is fucking with my head right now." I force out as I try to fight through the strange feelings of beauty there is in a body draped gracefully in the air. She must be using the aura to try to bend my will into not destroying her. "This makes it so your abilities can be changed if you truly will it. Can you control yourself any?"

"Not… no. Pain. Have not."

I see. She's an idiot. She has no self control. I hold take her hand that is just limp in the air. The field has returned to it, but I can take that because I can feel it now.

I wrap my glass skin in an armor of light.

"Did you feel that? I changed your power by making it mine. I was able to do this because I connected with you and my will was strong enough to bend your brain's workings. I need you to imagine exchanging your aura for a better version of your forcefield. I have improved your power to make this possible." This is my best bet. If I don't have to personally kill anyone I can keep the cape name The Miracle Kid. The rest of her family will get so much heat for this, but that's not my fault.

"Can't. Dean."

"You're going to die if you can't do it. Believe."

"Can't. Amy."

It is at this time that Santa attacks me from behind with a steel chair, but my armor of light flashes a warning to me, so I dodge perfectly. The chair hits Victoria in the head.

Now, audience, I need to explain how to do a chair shot. See, you are supposed to hit a dude on the back with the steel or aluminium folding chair using its flattest part. It makes a HUGE sound and does actually hurt some, and the sell on the performer is what makes it very convincing. The next way to do it is to hit someone with the seat of the chair on the head. You can also do thrusts aimed to miss with the legs of the chair, or use the cross bar to do a gentle choke.

What you should never do, is hit someone on back of the head with the frame of the chair. Because you might dent a skull into their head that starts bleeding.

"Oh. That's gotta hurt." I say, impressed that she survived and still has the aura going even with that much brain damage. Actually, only the second thing is why I am impressed by that. I would normally be cringing in pain, but you might recall that have been trying to swallow my feelings. Maybe she can't turn it off?

When you hear them saying "Trust me" Don't wait to see what's next

There is another miracle in the world. I turn to face where it has ended up and see that it is Santa who bears this parsol.

This second sun in the sky.

She has taken off the beard and hat.

This is not a great time to be me. I don't know what the fuck she is doing, but my armor of light is flashing death in every direction. The only weakness my current defenses have is that I have to breath to talk. Oh, side bar, I stopped breathing for reasons other than talking shortly after I got powers. Like with noctis capes, parahumans can find ways to manage the effects of breathing without having to take in things from the world around them.

But I must greet this miracle.

I inhale.

I realize I will not be able to leave if she does not want me to.

"Your power is a virus but one you have fantastic control over. You produce it constantly and naturally. You were born HIV positive. Your uncle raped you when you tried to learn from him how to love a woman, and this killed your aunt because she was suddenly horribly sick all the time while trying to be a hero. You are Pandora, and this is you Pithos."

"You talk too fucking much for someone who is going to die as soon as you are more than arms reach from Victoria. I am setting it so you will die more and more horribly. You can die now to save yourself from hell."

Oh she thinks I might not be heading for hell anyway. That's so wonderful. What a blessing.

Tygers eat their young, and she's no Lamb.

But she fucked up.

"You told me the honest thing of how this virus is rigged up. You have to be infected yourself in order to infect others. You do not have to tell me the actual conditions you set that would kill someone, but you did because you were figuring out what you had actually done. You need me dead fast. Why?"

She says nothing simply walks over to her sister and gently starts to push her towards the big chair. You know, I should have been paying more attention, she had bolted up from that thing, ran to get a chair, and snuck up behind me all while I was yapping. Fucking amazing. I double check that my glass elves are winning and they are. Even Eric is being kept out of a clear line of sight of this in case he decides to make this a really special day. I mean, I should have worn a pure white gown to greet the miracle if I wanted this to happen, but I didn't.

Believe me!

Oh fuck, she is still using the aura? That means you won't buy this. Shit.

Well, I follow and stand behind the chair on the opposite side. The channel I had opened is still on the left and I do not want to end up in it. I think I can maybe convince Pandora to contact the channel, but I am not sure if that will help me.

These things are always so unpredictable once I stop controlling them consciously.

Oh, she's trying to figure out how to fix her sister's brain damage using her power. Too bad triggers don't tend to directly solve your problems like that. Healing powers usually only come from things like clinging desperately to someone who is totally unharmed and wishing them fixed. You can heal their bodies only as much as they believe you can. I could only ever change the brains of my parents to let them be the monsters they always wanted to be on the inside. Doubt might be my power's greatest weakness, but I still doubt she is going to figure this out.

"It will be as hellfire now."

"I am confident that is bullshit." I realize she can't keep the virus lethal if you are away from Victoria and make it able to heal brains. I can just wait for her to heal her sister and I will get out of the trap. This is a battle of wills, and I have been using mine to command the world far longer than her.

Why is this taking so long. Is she actually more interested in punishing what she sees to be evil than saving her sister? Does she blame me for her adoptive family becoming murderers around her? Does she blame me for her caving in her sister's skull? I ask her these things. I ask her every horrible question I can think of. She has to let go. She has to let me go. She has to let up. She can't seriously want me to suffer this must. How can this be? How can the mother of a miracle like this be so awesomely full of wrath? Is she a god too? Is she something beyond even me?

לֹ֣א תַֽעֲשֶׂה־לְּךָ֣ פֶ֣סֶל | וְכָל־תְּמוּנָ֡ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר בַּשָּׁמַ֣יִם | מִמַּ֡עַל וַֽאֲשֶׁר֩ בָּאָ֨רֶץ מִתַּ֜חַת וַֽאֲשֶׁ֣ר בַּמַּ֣יִם | מִתַּ֣חַת לָאָ֗רֶץ:

Of course.

She has a weakness.

I allow my glass skin to wrap itself around her goddess.

She cannot be a god, she has a goddess that she falls before.

She is not a god but a motherly figure who has never known what it is to be loved as herself and not as a sister.

"I will tear asunder your unliving idol unless you give your all to revive her now."

"I shall just make a virus that reverses all you have done. Even your name will be lost."

Shit. She was ignoring my taunts and just invented several new techniques. She might figure out that she can if her sister is dead then she can make the virus able to kill everyone she hates, because she does hate her sister for being so fuckable and yet so unavailable, like she has a hereditary hatred of women but actually this is just a small resentment that never guides her to enact but only to inact.

Oh no. I have the aura back. I can say anything and you will just accept it.

I have only one last hope. One miracle cannot beget another so directly. I carefully slide needles of glass into her brain. I guide silicon molecules through the channels of the cells that connect her to her power. I put my fingers together as I had on the roof, but now the left hand is facing upwards.

"If I die, it will tear apart her potenia and gemma."

"And? I shall simply remake them in time."

"You cannot. They are the creation of a miracle."

"So they say. But I have my doubts." Ouch. She's been in this kind of aura for so long that she can fight even the most intense

"But eggs can be fertilized in a lab and one womb is like another. Do you know how powers are given?"

Her brow furrows. She knows the general idea, but the specifics are impossible for her to see. She commands, but she does not see.

"You are fucking with my head."

"Good catch. I guess you know what it feels like."

I can't append an insult about Lightstar's lightsaber because the Walt Disney Company might force my higher self to permit police boxes full of copywrong psychokillers into this scene. You'll have to risk an intrusion yourself if you want that image.

She isn't talking more. She is feeling for something she can command that will kill me horribly but not hurt her most precious dear. But she knows her thought process is being tampered with. There is now a risk that any move she commits to is one I have sought for her to make. The red of her suit was hiding how much blood was seeping from that head wound, but now the white trim is soaking it up as well. She is crying as she feel the dark stains reach her skin.

"Do you know everything about her? Can you put it all back together? You know the brain is a complex system. You know that when a person is warm and dead the brain's cells denature. You-"

"STOP. STOP. STOP."

"You know she has stopped bleeding because she is out of blood, right?"

"If she's died, we would both be dead. So that is wrong."

What?

Oh no. Oh no. Her idea of Victoria is some kind of spirit or ghost, not a body with a working brain? I did not account for this. I forgot to study how the displace piece orphan who the New Wave found before unveiling themselves to be a gang of aryan ubermenschen that won't even act ashamed of their hate for minorities. Instead Carol points proudly to her "non-white passing" daughter and their "statistically driven patrol patterns" to explain why Purity and Lady Photon are teaming up so much.

"Look, I am Kid Miracle."

"Shit name."

"Fine," what's my second option? "call me Feb then."

"What is that short for?" Oh, she's disassociating due to the horror of realising she might have to either accept that she is putting herself into a hell of her own making or otherwise let me live. AND SHE STILL ISN'T LETTING ME LEAVE?!

"Februum, it means to purify. If you want, I can guide your power so you can fully heal her brain. I can shape the glass to lead your power to each damaged cell. We can do this."

"No."

"DO YOU LOVE HER, OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO FUCK A MEAT PUPPET SHAPED LIKE HER?!" I shout out of sheer built up resentment. Wait, didn't I promise not to let such a thing past my lips? Does that mean my resolve just broke?

Welcome to the camp I guess you all know, why we're here

Another one.

Was she close enough to her gate's opening that she could manage a to pull a second one through? She had way more data on my power and how it works, and that conduit has been open the whole… oh.

I broke a vow before heaven. Thus a vow may be relaxed as punishment.

I feel a hand upon my hands interconnected.

I am as stone for all time from then evermore. She did not kill me. She does not want anything she is holding to die.

I feel it begin. My neurons have turned against me. They grow extrude out from my skull like branches from a tree. They collect the rain and sunlight so they might crowd out my own withering domain. They gather to torture me, to make me feel and forget and feel again every form of pain I could imagine.

I think I die, only to be reborn into a new world, live a whole life, end up here, and suffer in new ways. I do this a million million times for each rain drop my new crown of fools catches. The prongs of the crown are as the rainbow, a sign for all ages of folly and mercy.

The Panacea takes the red blood of the goddess and from it makes that which will produce life in a corpse.

She knits makes her idol believe be true.

This vessel is broken. I must depart it.

Can you name me?

#wormblr #Amy Dallon #Victoria Dallon #original material #effortpost

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