#There’s a couple others I don’t remember but like. So much stuff NEVER CAME OUT.

[halflifebutawesome]

it’s crazy the amount of things that specifically came out Right After May 16th in the early 00s….

[vampiresbloodx]

I've missed you.

pairings: Rio Vidal x Reader

word count: 1.9k

synopsis: Your ex comes back at your doorstep.

warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, face sitting, multiple orgasms, teasing, strap on use, oral sex (r receiving), top!Rio, bottom!reader, modern au without the witch stuff, toxic ex, breakups, slight angst if you squint, squirting, so much porn, a bit of yandere!Rio, possessive and obsessed mention, strap on referred to as a cock/dick, age gap, r is in their early twenties and Rio is older, bit of soft Rio but I love her mean.

It was your usual friday night, the week had ended and work was over for the weekend, you got to relax, do whatever you wanted to do, get things done, it wasn’t like you went out partying a lot like your other friends did, always trying to convince you to join them for a couple of drinks after your shift. You just weren’t always feeling it. 

But tonight you went out. 

Having both Natasha and Yelena talk you into it was easy enough for them, it was hard to deny them both, you loved them, they were complete idiots, matching each others personality perfectly while also being different in their own styles, most wouldn’t even guess they were sisters. 

You actually first met them years ago when the three of you were still kids. Natasha being the oldest and Yelena the baby of the trio. They treated you like you were their own sibling that they looked after, you really did love them a lot and they knew that. 

This week's work schedule was rather intense and stressful, your anxiety building up and getting rather worse, as you probably had to look into changing your meds that you were currently on as they weren’t doing what they were supposed to do anymore. Work has taken up so much of your time that you hadn’t had much of a personal life, you don’t even remember the last time you went out, like actually out, out of the apartment, aside from going for a walk doesn't really count, you felt as though you’ve been stuck inside every time you finish work. Which isn't a bad thing. Rest is good, needed, but for some reason you end up craving to be social and around your friends every so often. 

And tonight you just missed being around them. 

They never failed to cheer you up, make you laugh, they were seriously the best friends you could ask for. 

They were the very friends who convinced you to break up with your ex girlfriend, that was mostly you, but they helped a lot. 

Rio. 

God, even just thinking about her makes your stomach do a flip and your heart skips in your chest, she still has such a strong effect on you that you knew if she was here you’d probably do anything she tells you to do right then and there. 

Shamelessly. 

And willingly. 

She was your first girlfriend that you’ve ever had in your early twenties, she was older than you, which your friends claimed was a red flag alone, with the power imbalance and the age gap, but you didn’t think so. 

Since in the beginning it was paradise. 

She was the absolute best most beautiful girl you had the privilege of calling her yours, sure, she was overly possessive at times, even really protective, always checking everything you do, asking where you went always, no matter the time and place, always just there, it got too much before you knew it. 

She would even threaten some of your colleagues, making assumptions that they were flirting with you, making a move on you, from the way they stared at you, god, it was like no one was allowed near you. 

But you loved Rio. You loved her to death. 

After your rough breakup, you came to wonder if she used that against you, how naive you could be, since she was your first girlfriend, she took advantage of you. 

She knew how inexperienced you were, you had just started your new job when you first met, every time you had an issue with your co worker or your boss, she’d always listen, she was always there, but now when you look back, it felt weird, you couldn’t put your finger on it, but it was like she got off on it. 

How you relied on her so much. 

It wasn’t healthy. And yet you couldn't lie to yourself when you also liked it. 

How much control she had over you, how much of an impact she had, how easily influenced you were by you. If it weren’t for your friends, you’d probably be in a much shitter situation now. 

On nights like this, you can’t help but miss her. 

Your would be anniversary is coming up, you were always the one to plan it, she wasn’t the one to make big gestures, but she did some things. Your heart ached when you had found a sweater of hers she left behind one night as it still smelled like her, you wear it more than you should. 

Your phone suddenly started ringing, startling you as you looked at it, seeing it was Natasha calling, you almost forgot about the plans for tonight as you were so deep in thought of your ex that you realised you should be leaving soon, before you could even answer, there was a knock at your door. 

Weird. 

Natasha was the type to randomly show up even if she called, it didn���t matter, but she’d also just send a text, letting you know she’s here, you weren’t expecting company, you almost wanted to ignore it, there was a part of you that was curious. 

And that won you over. 

Getting up from your couch, you walked towards the door, letting in a breath in and out, your hand reaching out to the doorknob as you twisted it, definitely not expecting her. 

“Rio?” you said, your eyes widening as your mouth hung open. 

She chuckled. 

“Better close that mouth before a fly gets in it” she smiles, you immediately shut your mouth, she used to always say that. 

You noticed the way she was staring at you, the way her eyes roamed shamelessly over your body, you stood there, still not sure what to do. 

“Wow, you look good, going somewhere?” she asks, allowing herself into the apartment as you frowned. 

“Rio, what the fuck?-” you muttered. 

She kept eyeing you up and down, a smirk at her lips as she watched you, you started getting flustered from her gaze, of course, she decided to show up when you thought about her. 

“What do you want” you asked, slightly annoyed. 

She stepped closer, too close, as you licked at your lips, not meaning to, just a stupid habit, and she leaned in, smelling you as you gasped, pushing her off of you. She laughed. 

“Did you miss me, sweetheart?” she grinned, her hand coming up as she caressed your cheek, your body shuddered from her touch, you missed her. 

“Rio, w-why the fuck are you here” you asked, stuttering over your own words as your cheeks heated up in embarrassment. 

She cooed, cupping your face in her hand, gripping tightly, she licked her own lips this time, you stared at her tongue more than you should. She saw that. The smell of her perfume overwhelmed you as she’d always wear that specific one, you wanted to feel her. She got onto that pretty quickly, as before you could ask her another question, she pressed her lips to yours. 

She didn’t even give you a chance to speak, you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning as she kissed harder, her tongue going inside yours, making you gasp as you held onto her, she chuckled, deliberately placing her leg in between your thighs and pressing it against your core, you whimpered from the pressure, you didn’t like all this teasing she does, you missed her too much to tell her to stop. 

You started grinding your hips down on her thigh, as you desperately chased after your high, your entire body burning with want. You didn’t even know what the hell you were doing and why Rio was suddenly in your apartment after a year of not seeing her. Did she ignore the fact that you broke up with her? Why the fuck is she fucking you like it’s a normal friday night. 

Not that you were complaining either way. 

“Hm, I need more of you, baby” she murmured, her voice sending a chill down your spine as you felt her kiss along your neck, sucking at your pulse. You wrapped your hands around her neck, pulling her in closer, afraid if you blinked she’d be gone. “Shhh, I’ve got you, sweetheart, you wanna lay down for me?” she asked softly, pressing a kiss on your lips as she placed you down onto the couch, gently, still kissing down your chest and further. “I’ve missed you.” 

You couldn’t even form a proper sentence or even mumble a reply back, still focused on the way she was touching you. You allowed her to take off your dress that you were going to wear to the club tonight, but you’d much prefer this. She forced your legs apart, taking off your underwear that was already soaked through, she groaned at the sight, Rio grinned, leaning in as she licked up your pussy, causing you to cry out. 

She teased at your clit with her finger, rubbing circles and adding more pressure, pleasure boiling up inside your body as you felt like you were on cloud nine. Your cunt throbbed the more she licked and sucked, she was so good with her mouth, it was one of the things you love her doing to you after the two of you would get into an argument and she’d fuck you with her tongue. 

Your hands gripped at her hair, which was soft, just as you remembered, you were a whining mess, tightening your grip as you rode on her face. She didn’t stop until she got her fill, she easily pushed her finger inside of you, she was always amazed at how wet you were for her. She felt your thighs begin to shake, she watched your face contorted into pleasure as she admired you. It wasn’t long until you broke, you loudly cried out and she still didn’t stop, letting you feel out your high. 

She removed herself from you, immediately stripping herself from her clothes as you watched in a dazed state, she smirked, her hair a mess, Rio grabbed out her fake cock, eyeing you, letting you back out now, when you didn’t, she leaned back in, kissing your lips as she wrapped her hand around her cock, pressing it against your entrance as you whimpered, pushing hips down onto it. Rio used some of your wetness as lube, easily enough the cock eased into your pussy, she groaned, slowly moving her hips as your hands grabbed at her back, your nails digging into her. 

“Fuck baby, you feel so good” she moaned, “You gonna come on my cock? Yeah? No one else can fuck you like I can, this pussy is mine, right baby?” she said, watching as you nod, she loved how she can fuck you sensless to the point where you can’t even speak. 

You held onto her tightly as you came faster than before, you gasped, feeling like you’ve wet yourself, as you opened your eyes, embarrassment hitting you but you were surprised as you saw that you had squirted over Rio’s dick, as it was still coming, she chuckled, looking impressed as her eyes filled with lust. 

“You really missed me, huh?” she teased, your cheeks burned as you couldn’t believe what just happened, all of it feeling like it was a dream. 

And even if it was, you never wanted to wake up ever again.

[hwaflms]

round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]

{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/

[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc

[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me

[☆] wc. 6.1k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut’, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh

[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p

even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.

today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.

you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)

now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.

presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.

“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”

you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.

swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”

“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.

you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.

“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.

“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.

“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”

he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.

out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.

as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.

sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.

“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.

“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.

“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.

“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”

some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.

“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.

“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.

“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”

haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.

“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.

your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?

it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.

maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.

you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.

“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.

much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.

renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.

taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.

while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.

you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.

“are you okay with this?”

and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.

he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.

jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”

renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.

the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.

you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.

haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.

“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.

settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.

you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.

“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”

it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.

“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.

if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.

at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.

you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–

no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?

you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.

finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”

“who are you talking to?”

you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you’ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.

“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.

“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”

he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”

you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.

“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”

“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”

“…what?”

everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.

“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.

“like you want to kiss me.”

a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.

“am i wrong, pretty?”

judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”

normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.

he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.

you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.

no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.

“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”

you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.

you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”

your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.

“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”

everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.

though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”

even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.

“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.

“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”

his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”

you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.

you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.

he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”

your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.

in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.

“wait hyuck, let me–“

as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“

it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”

your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”

taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.

the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”

“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”

“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.

[monstersflashlight]

Patreon Commission for anon :)

One more

Minotaur (Ambrose) x chubby fem!reader || oral sex, dirty talk, dom/sub, chocking (lightly), degradation, humiliation (lightly), semi-public sex, overstimulation, squirting, size kink

You were once again bothering him (even though he insisted you weren’t a bother) in the tattoo studio.

Ambrose didn’t have any more sessions today, so you were going to go watch a movie and maybe grab some dinner. Just normal friends’ stuff. Normal friends who were completely normal about each other. Nothing weird going on. You weren’t in love with him or anything… Okay, maybe you were. Maybe you’ve been lusting after him for as long as you could remember, and he’d been ignoring it. Or maybe not? You weren’t sure about it. But you’d been teasing for so long that it was just natural at that point.

He was just going around his room, getting everything sorted out before you could leave. His back was to you, and you couldn’t avoid looking at his short tail moving from one side to another in almost a stimmy way. He looked magnificent from the back, that round ass and huge back, those muscles moving under his thin shirt and good lord the horns… You didn’t know you had a thing about horns until you meet him a couple years back.

You walked into that tattoo studio looking for someone to do your tongue piercing and he was the one for the job. Never mind you almost swallowed your own tongue when you saw that hot piece of beef exiting the back and had onto hold into the counter in front of you not to faint as all your blood rushed south in the most intense wave of arousal you’d ever felt.

You thought that arousal and lust would fade as you got to know him better, but it didn’t, it only got worse and worse as you became friends. It was infuriating at that point. You knew you were a tease, and you teased a lot of people, but it was different with him, you wanted something to come out of it, even if he didn’t feel the same way… right?

You came back from your walk to memory lane to hear Ambrose hum your favorite song under his breath, making you smile so big it was almost painful. So you did what you did best: you teased him. You couldn’t hold yourself from reaching out and pulling on his tail, something that made him twitch and grunt, which in response made your panties so wet… So you did every time you could.

He turned around for a second, grunting like he always did as you bit your lip not to groan out loud. That would be embarrassing. “Stop teasing or I’ll make you,” he told you almost in a joking way as he got back to sort the equipment.

You fidgeted with your fingers, and almost on autopilot you answered: “Make me.” His reaction was instant.

He turned around with his eyes dark, so dark you could barely see his iris anymore. He approached you like a minotaur on a mission, with each step forward you took a step back until your back was against the wall and you had Ambrose’s hard big body against yours. His hand found your neck, collaring you still, soft and tender, but not letting you move at the same time. Your panties got drenched so fast even you were surprised. He sniffed the air and grunted, like if he could smell how hot that made you. You whined almost imperceptibly, and he lowered his head to be at eye level with your much smaller frame.

“That is enough. Don’t play with fire, darling, or you’ll get burned.” You knew that was a threat, but he was tempting you with a good time and you couldn’t avoid your bratty nature even if you wanted.

“What if I like the fire?” His hand tightened a fraction of a millimeter and you whined again, louder this time.

He growled and launched. You were expecting a lot of things, but him leaning forward and devouring your mouth was not one of them. Your hands found his horns without you even realizing, as you gave back as much as he was giving you. It was a desperate kiss, filled with pent up tension and a need so deep you could feel it in your veins. You were grabbing his horns with force, trying to get him as close as possible, but there was no way your tiny frame could move such a big monster, but you would die trying if you had to.

His hands found your body, caressing your tummy, squeezing your thigh, he was everywhere at the same time, his hands groping and caressing, squeezing and proving, and you were so desperate your head was light-headed. And you did what you always did: you bite down on his lower lip so hard you tasted his blood as he pulled back, breathing hard. His hair was a mess because of you and his eyes were so dark you couldn’t see his green irises anymore. Fucking hell, he looked obscene.

“Did you just bite me?” He asked, almost surprised. “Darling, I thought what they said about you being a vampire was a lie…” He joked, making you giggle. You didn’t know why he was surprised, you’d bitten him before, it was your thing and he always grunted and pushed your forehead away softly when you did it, a big smile on his lips. But this time he wasn’t smiling, the smile that broke on his lips was predatory and made your insides turn with anticipation. So you did it again, leaning forward and biting right over his pec, your lower teeth caught in the piercings of his nipples. “Ouch! Why did you do that again?!” He asked, faking hurt as he rubbed the spot you just bite.

You looked up at him defiantly. “Because I can,” you teased further. “What are you going to do about it?” Your inner brat was screaming in delight as you said that, a smirk so big in your mouth it was hurting your cheeks.

“Fucking brat,” he cursed you without any malice, his hand grabbing your hair and pulling slightly, making you groan. “I’m going to give you something so your mouth is full.” Just as his words left his mouth you were panting.

But you were still you, so you had to tease him some more. “Oh, yeah? And what is that? Going to give me some blood?” You continued the joke he made, your teasing tone making the corner of his mouth twitch, almost breaking the whole hard dom he was trying to portray.

He frowned and pulled at your hair with a bit more force, making you moan like a slut. You tried to cover your mouth, but he stopped your hand mid air. “Kneel,” he ordered. Your knees got weak and almost gave out under you.

You weren’t going to give up so easy, though. “No.”

“Kneel or you won’t find out,” he told you, making the gears in your brain start to turn and twist trying to figure out what he was talking about.

And you had to ask. “Find out what?”

“Kneel and find out.” Damn him, he knew all your weak spots, and wanting to know stuff was one of them. So you keeled in front of him, which left you a bit lower than his huge bulge. You were about to comment on it when he started talking. “I dreamed about you, you know? I dreamed about your bratty mouth wrapped around my dick until you were whimpering around it, asking without words for me to fuck your face, to use you like a slut… And now what are you? Exactly that. A filthy slut for me to play with.” You groaned, your mouth open as you panted. It was like he knew what words to use exactly to make you a mess without even getting naked. “And now you are going to do that. You are going to be a good little slut and let me fuck your mouth,” you moaned, looking up at him between your eyelashes and opening your mouth.

He took out his dick and you gasped, there was no way that thing was going to fit inside of your mouth, or your pussy. “There’s... there’s no way…” You stuttered, starting to feel concerned about it.

“Oh sunshine, it will,” he answered simply.

His hand grabbed around his shaft and he rubbed the tip over your lips, leaving a glistening imprint that made you want to faint. And there were no more words from you anymore, he grabbed your chin with his free hand and forced your mouth open, rubbing his tip against your open lips again and again, until you were so desperate to get it inside that you took it in your own hands and licked over his tip, making him grunt, his hand flying to your short hair and pulling.

“Did I say you could do that? Sluts get what they are given, they don’t take stuff for themselves, do they?” He asked and you looked down. “No, no. Don’t look down now, are you embarrassed?” You nodded. “Good, I know you like to be a pretty little slut and act all coy, but embarrassment turns you on, doesn’t it?” You were about to answer when he pushed forward. Not much, just the tip of his dick fitting inside your mouth until your hand was full and your lips felt the stretch. “Now suck until I’m messy… We don’t want your pussy to be in pain, do we?”

You didn’t even try to answer this time, you got to it instantly. Your saliva coating his dick messily. He couldn’t go much further than that, but you did all you could with that. You sucked and licked at his tip, your tongue focusing on the underside that made him throw his head back and his horns almost hit the ceiling light. He was in control, but you felt so powerful you were giddy with it. He started a slow pace, going in and out of your mouth in tiny fractions, fucking your mouth in the most possessive and tender way ever. You could feel your drool getting everywhere, your makeup was probably ruined as he grunted over you, making your pussy so wet you feared you would have to burrow some kind of covers for your pants because they were going to be ruined too.

By the time his dick was glistening with your saliva and your jaw was starting to ache, he pulled back, his breathing was uneven and he looked wild and feral, and that made your pussy tingle with anticipation. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you up, manhandling you until you were back on the tattoo chair.

He took his shirt off and then did the same with yours. Your boobs sprung free, you hadn’t been able to wear a bra because of the piercings he did a few months back. You tried to trick him into saying something for a long time, sending him “healing pics” that were a lot more risky and teasing that you would send to any other artist. You didn’t fucking care, it felt great taking those dirty pics for him to see, the idea of him getting hard seeing them… the idea of him keeping them for later… That made your blood boil and your insides clench. You knew it was probably filthy of you to feel that way, but the embarrassment only made you hotter.

And right then, when he finally looked at your boobs and smiled like a madman, you moaned, he looked crazy with desire and that only made you more aroused. “I’ve been waiting to see your boobs for so fucking long.” He was talking to you but it almost felt like he was talking to your tits, his eyes fixated on them with such intensity that you felt like he was staring right into your soul. “And I mean truly see them, not like technical and professional, not like those dirty pics you send me just to make sure they were healing properly.” And when your pierced nipples got hard under his stare and he grunted, launching for your nipple to suck it in his mouth, you moaned in such high pitched tone that he looked up, amused.

But then you had to say it: “I- I thought you didn’t like them,” you stuttered as he licked one nipple and pinched the other. One of your boobs was bigger than the other, and it always made you so self-conscious...

He stopped his ministrations of your nipples to look up at you. “Why would you think that? Are you stupid?” He was staring at you expecting a response, his hair was messy and was making your brain all kinds of unfocused. He should stop looking that good if he wanted you to form coherent words.

But you tried because you really, really needed him to keep going. “I- They are uneven and, and… I don’t know, okay? I sent you all those pics trying to get a reaction out of you but you didn’t say anything and, and, and… I don’t know,” you finished.

“You thought those pics didn’t do anything to me?” He looked offended by that statement. “I know you, sunshine, and I know how to recognize a slut when I see one. And those pics in the bathroom with your blue pleading eyes and tiny hands grabbing your boobs… You were driving me insane on purpose. And now you are going to pay for it.” You hear his words before you heard the ripping of fabric as he literally ripped your pants off. Why was that so hot, oh lord, you were about to faint because of lack of blood in your brain, but he didn’t stop there. “You thought you’d be teasing me forever? You thought I would let you be all free and unfucked? Think again, darling. Your pussy belongs to me, and It’s about time I claim it.” His growl reverberated through your body as he leaned down and licked your whole pussy in one long swipe of drooling mess. You cried out.

And because didn’t matter what you were a little shit, you said: “Do it then, for now those are only words…”

You knew instantly how bad of a choice that was. His eyes got dark and he pushed your legs up to his shoulders, the tip of his dick at your entrance as his hand pressed down on your pubic mound, his thumb rubbing your clit as he pressed forward.

“I don’t know if it will fit, you are so tight, fuck.” He cursed as he pushed in a tortuous pace. “I knew you’d slutty pussy would be this tight, you are fucking perfect. So good for me, so needy and desperate, so ready to fight but so easily turned into a messy slut. I knew you’d be like that.” His words made your insides clench and he grunted, feeding your hungry pussy more of his cock.

“Ambroseeee,” you cried out his name as he pulled up your hips and his dick found your G-spot, making you see stars and galaxies.

“Just like that sunshine, scream my name louder… Let everybody else know how good I make you feel, how much of a slut you are for my minotaur cock.” Only then you registered that there were more people at the studio, that they were probably hearing how you were getting pounded into next dimension by a big minotaur. Fuck, that made it better.

“Ambroseeeee,” you screamed again, your head thrown back as he bottomed out and instantly pulled out and back inside.

He started a frantic pace, fucking into you like you were just a fleshlight and he was desperate to fill you completely. Your brain was completely fried, you couldn’t have a single thought as his hips pistoned into yours. His dick was so big it was hitting all your pleasure points at every thrust, and you knew you were ruined for anybody else.

He fucked you through your first orgasm, not stopping when you cried out in overstimulation. Your pussy was messy, your juices gushing out with every thrust of his hips, and it felt like heaven as he continued.

You came twice more before you started whining and begging, you didn’t know if you could do it anymore, you couldn’t form the proper words to express it, but you didn’t need to. “One more, sunshine. Give me one more so I can finally fill you to the brim as you deserve.” He told you.

You screamed his name again and tried to form some coherent thought: “I- I can’t. Please, Ambrose, I can’t have another one,” you cried. Tears blurring your vision as he kept fucking into you. The pleasure was so high and so intense you didn’t know where your body ended and his began.

“You’ve been teasing me forever, and now you are going to give me as much as I want. So, I repeat: One. More.” He punctuated each word with a thrust, his hips meeting you at an agonizing pace as he fucked right into your G-spot.

He pushed your legs up, your knees against your ears and started fucking into you like a piston, the new posture making you see stars, the milky way, the whole fucking universe. You couldn’t stop chanting his name as he fucked into you like a feral minotaur. This angle made his pubic bone hit right over your clit and you couldn’t even process moans anymore, your head thrown back as you drooled like a the messy slut he called you.

“Come for me, dirty little slut, come for me one more time,” he ordered with pointed thrusts.

And then you felt it, the release inside of you that indicated your pleasure ascended too much, that you were beyond turning point as he fucked into you and you squirted all over him. Your body thrashed under him as he pressed against you harder, holding you down completely as you made an utter mess of both of you and he thrust a couple more times before you felt his release hitting deep inside. And kept coming. And coming. And coming some more until your body was shivering with aftershocks and his come was dripping around his still buried dick inside of you.

You stayed like that for a long time. He cleaned you out and kissed your forehead as you whimpered and groaned, unable to form any kind of words after such an intense session. He left the room for a couple seconds and you could hear him telling someone else he would close the store and laughing when they congratulated him on finally getting you. You blushed, your body still limp over the tattoo chair.

When he came back and you regained a fraction of your working brain, you had to ask: “So… Does this all mean you are into me?”

He looked at you with utter surprise and like you were stupid at the same time. “Are you kidding me? Do I need to fuck you like a dumb slut again until you get the hint?” He said, his tone amused as he leaned down and kissed you so deeply you ended up whimpering against his mouth. He pulled back with a smile: “Stop that or I’ll really fuck you again, and I don’t think your poor human pussy can take it… yet.” The last word made your body tingle with promises he would definitely be able to meet.

And when a few months later he asked you to design a tattoo for him so you’ll be in his skin as well as in his soul, you almost melted right there. (And then proceeded to suck him off until he hit the wall with his horns and made a hole).

Reminder that tier "monster fucker" on Patreon get a commission every two months, so one the month you subscribe, another the third month... (more info here).

[wonderjanga]

Sharing Can in Fact Lead to Caring

Sometimes Billy doesn’t need Solomon. Sometimes, Billy just says whatever that comes off the top of his head, it can be surprisingly helpful at times. (Billy doesn’t realize most of them are just coming to their dad figure for advice)

Such as the time Wonder Woman came to him concerned about time dilation. When Solomon explained what that meant, he had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about. Basically, she was worried about the afterword of the Justice League and her friends and how she would outlive them all. He brought her ice cream and they talked it out. In a way, he supposed he understood her. Billy couldn’t remember his mom or dad’s faces or personalities. He only had Captain Marvel to go off of and he guesses Mary, but she looks more like a young version of their mom. In the end, after much talking and trying to show he understands her worries, she seemed to be doing better.

Then, there was a talk with J’onn. The Martian had confided in not feeling at home with the humans. Not that he blamed him. J’onn had lost his home. So, Billy talked with him. Again, sort of relating. The way the Martian described missing his planet, reminded Billy of how he’d missed his parents. By the end of the talk, the Martian seemed to feel a little lighter after it.

Then, there was this kid.

Little Girl: *sitting on a bench alone*

Marvel: “Hey there, miss. Where are your parents?”

Little Girl: *stares* “There not here.”

Marvel: “Why’s that?” *sits down next to her*

Little Girl: *shrugs*

Marvel: “Well, then do you have any guardians?”

Little Girl: “I think so, but I don’t really like her. She’s mean. I don’t think she likes me or my foster siblings.”

Marvel: “Oh? You’re from foster care?”

Little Girl: *hesitantly nods head*

Marvel: “And I’m guessing you ran away?”

Little Girl: *nods again* “Are you going to tell on me?”

Marvel: “No. I ran away from my foster homes all the time.” *shrugs, doesn’t know why he’s saying this but might as well go with it*

Little Girl: “You did?”

Marvel: “Yeah. They were all terrible. And the ones that weren’t terrible were just neglectful.”

Little Girl: “What does neglectful mean?”

Marvel: “It means not paying attention to something. Like for example, I had this foster parent who would go days without coming home, leaving me and the other kids to have to feed ourselves. She wasn’t paying attention to us or our needs.”

Little Girl: “That’s sad.”

Marvel: “Yeah, it is. So, why did you run away from your foster home?”

Little Girl: “The lady who adopted me throws stuff when she gets mad. She’s mad a lot.”

Marvel: “That sucks. I had a foster home like that too. He would throw a bottles, forks, books, whatever he could get his hands on.”

Little Girl: “You did? Did you think it was scary?”

Marvel: “Yeah.”

*silence*

Marvel: “You know, a friend of mine got adopted recently.”

Little Girl: “Really?”

Marvel: “Yeah, he’s been with them for about half a year now. He says they’re great. They’ve been fostering kids for a while apparently too.”

Little Girl: “That sounds nice.”

Marvel: “It is. Do you want me to ask about it?”

Little Girl: “Huh?”

Marvel: “Do you want me to ask him if there’s any spots open?”

Little Girl: *stares for a bit* “Yeah.” *stomach growls*

Marvel: “Alright, then I will. Now, how long have you been on the streets?”

Little Girl: “Oh uhm… a couple days.”

Marvel: “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.” *stands up*

Little Girl: “Really?” *hops off the bench*

Marvel: “Yeah. You feeling chili dogs or tacos? Those are the only two vendors I know that’ll give me something free.”

Little Girl: “Tacos, please.”

Marvel: “Alright then- uh, my bad. I never asked your name?”

Little Girl: “Oh uhm it’s Darla.”

Marvel: “Darla? Alright then Darla.” *fatherly ahh smile* “Let’s go get you some food, ‘kay?”

So ya. He met Darla. She’s a sweet kid. He would need to ask Freddy more about the Vazquez situation. Hopefully, just hopefully, they could squeeze the little girl into their family.

Also, uh… I guess in this AU, Freddy met the Vazquez and got adopted because he went back into foster care for a bit for whatever reason. There, he got adopted into the family. Darla joins after him for this post to work.

[slut4thebroken]

Second Chances

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Emmett x reader

Summary | Emmett takes advantage of your kindness and hospitality.

Warnings | Smut, 18+, non con, emotional manipulation, praise, guilt tripping, very large age gap, painful sex, first time, breeding, crying, bro has hella trauma fr.

Words | 2.5 k

Notes | Direct result of my Emmett brain rot (Also two fics in one day??🫣)

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

“Here you go.” You smiled, handing the steaming mug to him. 

“Thanks.” His voice was quiet as he took it from you and held it in his lap. 

“What’s your name?” You asked, sitting down next to him, hoping you weren’t intruding too much. He paused for a moment, seemingly debating if he actually wanted to make conversation with you and give you “personal” information about himself. 

“Emmett.” He finally said. 

You gave him your name and watched as his eyes dragged down your body, taking in every inch of you. With a blush, you cleared your throat and looked away for a moment to gather your thoughts. “Are you sure you don’t need anything else? Are you warm enough?” He looked over you again with a neutral expression that made you squirm a little. 

“Actually I’m still a little cold. Is there anywhere I could go that’s inside?” 

“Oh- yes! Of course.” You said quickly as you got to your feet. “My parents will be out of the house for another couple of hours so you can use some extra blankets and maybe lay down on the couch for a while.” You smiled. He didn’t return the expression as he stood up and followed you for a couple minutes until you finally walked up a porch to the front door. 

“Okay, let me just grab another blanket and then I’ll start the fire place as well.” You ran off to retrieve a blanket and when you came back, he was sitting on the couch looking around the room. 

He gave you a small “thank you” after you handed him the blanket and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked forward, then kneeled down in front of the fireplace. “You live here with your parents?” He suddenly asked, almost startling you. 

“Yeah. Since there’s three of us, we got our own place. A lot of other people had to share.” He hummed in acknowledgment and you finished up with starting the fire before turning around to face him, finding his eyes already on you. “Can I get you anything else?” 

“This is more than enough.” He said softly. 

“Okay… Well, I’ll let you rest. If you’re hungry I can try to make something?” You offered with a kind smile. 

“Actually I’d rather talk with you.” 

“Oh-” You said, eyes widening in surprise— He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would want to make small talk with a stranger. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone like this.” You hesitantly got up and sat down next to him on the couch. 

“Like what?” You asked curiously. 

“So loud… and about things other than survival.” His voice was still quiet, but this time there was a bit of a solemn undertone to it. 

“Oh.” You bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, but not really knowing how to approach this. “You never… had anyone to talk to about normal stuff? Surely it wasn’t all survival.” You can’t even imagine what he must have experienced. When he suddenly looked away and clenched his jaw, you realized that you might’ve over stepped. “I’m sorry, that was— I shouldn't have pried…”

“It’s fine. I had a family, but they’re gone now.” He still wasn’t looking at you. Taking one last sip from the mug, he leaned forward, then placed it on the coffee table. 

“God, I- I’m so sorry.” You said quietly. 

“It’s silly, but… I miss being able to hug them— to hug people.” He finally looked at you again, this time with a sad smile. “I remember the last time I felt someone’s touch… 11 weeks ago.” That must have been when his family died…

“Would you like a hug?” You offered nervously, hoping you weren’t too bold again. He studied you for another moment before nodding. 

“That would be really nice.” Once you had his approval, you moved closer and wrapped your arms around him, letting him do the same even though his wet clothes were starting to dampen yours. He let out a quiet breath and relaxed into the embrace. “Thank you… I’ve been so lonely.” He whispered, making you frown. 

“You won’t have to be anymore. The people here are very kind, you’ll make plenty of friends.” 

“I can tell.” His voice was a little amused now and he pulled back just enough to look at you. “If it’s not too much trouble… could I hug you a little more?” 

“Of course.” You said instantly, then let out a startled sound when he lifted you onto his lap so you were straddling his thighs. You thought he meant more as in for a longer period of time, not.. this…

“Thank you.” He said again, pulling you closer and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You were stiff for a few seconds, still trying to process this new development, but finally you relaxed into him and hugged him a little tighter. “I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like.” He whispered against your neck. 

“To hug?” You wondered, trying to understand. 

“Yes. But also the gentle touch of a woman.” A blush took over your face and you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You know, my wife… I was with her when she passed.” He said quietly. You were already dreading where this was going, not sure you could handle learning about any more of the pain he’s suffered since the start of everything. “I had a really hard time understanding and accepting this… but she said she wanted me to move on. To be happy again.” One of his arms stayed wrapped around your upper body, but the other moved a little lower, pulling you closer so your hips were also flush with his. 

“Emmett…” You said quietly, trying to pull away, but he just tightened his grip and you finally felt the bulge pressed up against your heat. You tried not to gasp at the realization.

“Shh… It’s okay. I just— You look so much like her…” You had no idea what to say. You’ve never been in a position like this before. “I’m sorry.” He suddenly pulled away and you stared down at him in confusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t deserve this. Not after everything I’ve done— everything I didn’t do.” Your lips parted, but no words could come out for a moment.  

“You deserve feeling safe and cared for. Everything you had to do was for the sake of staying alive.” At least you assumed it was. Honestly you have no idea what he’s done. “And it’s not your fault— what happened to your family. You did everything you could.” You said softly and he started shaking his head. “Yes. You can’t blame yourself, Emmett. Maybe that’s why your wife said that to you before she passed… because she knew how much you’d struggle with it.” 

“You remind me of her so much.” He said through a choked sob, making you freeze. You had no idea he’d get so emotional. Not knowing what else to do, you just pulled him back into the hug and held him tightly. “That’s exactly the kind of response she would’ve given.” He croaked. In response, you just hugged him even tighter. 

“It’s okay…” You whispered. “I’m so sorry, Emmett. No one deserves to go through what you have.” 

“It hurts.” He cried, making your heart ache for him. 

“Tell me what you need. How can I help?” You said quickly, not wanting to see him like this any longer. 

“Can I— can I kiss you?”

“What?!” You choked out, making him pull back to look at you. The tear tracks on his cheeks were far less than what you thought they’d be, but maybe they just wiped off on your dress. 

“Please. I miss her so much and… god you look exactly like her.” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. 

“I…” You’ve never kissed anyone before. Are you really about to give it away to a stranger you just met less than an hour ago? “Emmett…”

“I know I don’t deserve it— I know. But I just… it hurts so bad, I can’t take it.” He all but whimpered, making your hesitant expression melt into something softer and more sympathetic. 

“…I’ve never kissed anyone before.” You admitted quietly and you swore his eyes darkened, but it was too hard to really tell. 

“I know I’m asking far too much of you— I know I don’t deserve your kindness,” 

“Stop saying things like that.” You frowned. “You deserve kindness, you deserve to feel loved, just like everyone else.” He stared at you for a moment, his eyes still glossy with tears, then he was suddenly leaning forward and capturing your lips in a kiss. You let out a muffled sound of surprise and brought your hands to his chest, trying to push him away. In response, he snaked his hand around your head to grasp your hair, holding you still as he moaned quietly. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled against your lips. You let out another startled sound when he suddenly threw you off of him so you were laying on your back on the couch. Before you could move away, he was crawling over you, kissing you again as his hands roamed your body. 

“Emmett-” You tried to say as you continued pushing his chest, but he was too strong. “Stop!” 

“I know.” He panted before snaking his hand down your stomach all the way to the apex of your thighs. He slipped under your dress easily and roughly cupped your sex, making you whimper. 

“Emmett, please stop.” 

“I will. I will— I just need this. I haven’t been with a woman in so long…” He whispered. “I promise I’ll be fast.” 

“Please don’t,” You whimpered, already feeling tears brimming in your eyes. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” His hand suddenly left your body to open his pants and free his cock, then he was pulling your panties to the side and lining up. 

“Please! I- I’m a..” You sobbed, trying anything to get this to stop. 

“I’ll be gentle.” He promised, then faltered and added, “At least… I’ll try to be.” When you felt the head of his cock drag through your folds, your body went completely rigid. 

“Please! Emmett, please don’t,” You cried, still trying to push him away. 

“Shh…” The blunt head of his cock was against your entrance now, pushing as hard as possible, trying to fit inside you. When he finally breached your opening, his hand slapped over your mouth, muffling your shrill scream. “Oh— fuck… I'm not gonna last.” He moaned loudly, letting his head drop down for a moment. The tears in your eyes were finally falling and you sobbed almost violently behind his hand. Your crying only got worse though when he continued pushing in. 

“Almost there.” He whispered and you let out an anguished sob in response. It felt like you were being ripped open as he continued pushing deeper, a lot farther than what you could comfortably take. “Good girl… Just a little more.” Your body was trembling from the pain and you started clawing at him, trying anything to get this to stop. But he was undeterred. When he finally bottomed out, he let out a low groan that was overshadowed by your cry of pain. 

“I know… I’m sorry. Fuck, you feel so good. Just like how she felt.” He whispered. “I think she’d be happy that it’s you.” He gave you a small smile, then slowly pulled out until only the tip was inside before forcing it back in. 

“Please!” You cried, the word coming out muffled from behind his hand. 

“God- your cunt is so good.” He groaned, picking up the pace, making you cry harder. 

“Stop! Please…” You whimpered brokenly. 

“I know, baby. I’m almost done, I promise.” He said breathily. You tried kicking your legs, thrashing under him, pushing him away, but he was too strong. “Just a little longer, you’re doing so good.” He removed his hand, but before you could scream, he was kissing you again. This time, he shoved his tongue passed your parted lips, licking into your mouth in a desperate, almost feral manner. That, along with the fact that you couldn’t focus on this kiss because of how hard you were crying, made it incredibly messy and sloppy and wet. 

He snapped his hips into you, chasing his orgasm as he kissed you like he’d never be able to kiss anyone ever again, making it feel like you could barely breathe. Mostly because of the kiss, but also because of how overwhelming the pain of the stretch was. He continued kissing you and his facial hair felt scratchy against face, only furthering your discomfort. 

“I’m close.” He whispered against your lips. At least it was almost over. “I haven’t filled up a cunt in over a year.” He practically growled, making you stiffen again. 

“N-no… Emmett, please don’t. Please pull out.” You begged desperately, trying to speak coherently through all of the crying. 

“I thought you said I deserve this? That I deserve to finally be happy after everything.” He frowned, making you falter. 

“I didn’t mean… this.” You choked out, not sure what else to say. 

“I know…” He said quietly, letting his eyes flutter shut. “I’ll try to pull out.” 

“Emmett, please. You have to,” He leaned down and cut you off with another kiss as his thrusts became even rougher. 

“You’re such a good girl…” He murmured against your lips, breathing heavily as he neared his release. “So good. I’m gonna make you mine. I’ll take care of you, just like I took care of her. But we’ll be safe this time...” You shook your head, unable to do anything else. “No monsters, no illness— It’s gonna be perfect. We’ll even have some boys, yeah?”

“No,” You sobbed, quickly feeling defeated. You couldn’t stop this no matter how hard you tried. “Please, Emmett… I just turned 18, I- I can’t…” He moaned quietly when you said that. 

“Shh. Yes you can. I’ll help you, baby, we’ll do it together.” You shook your head in disagreement as you continued to cry. “Fuck,” He choked out, eyes closing again. “Ready?” 

“No— no, Emmett… please. Please pull out!” You yelled, making him curse under his breath. With one final groan, he forced his cock all the way in, pushing up against your cervix uncomfortably. 

“Oh, good girl.” He moaned, lazily rutting into you as he rode out his high. “So fucking good. So tight… milking every fucking drop.” He said proudly, making you cry harder at the verbal reminder that he just came inside you. 

“Emmett…” You whimpered, feeling his cock twitch inside you. 

“Thank you.” He said through a breath. “Thank you so much.” He almost sounded like he was about to cry in relief and that made you falter. This man has been alone for weeks, just haunted by the memories of his family with no real outlet or source of comfort. So when someone finally offered him some… he jumped at the chance immediately. You probably would’ve done the same, had you lost your entire family. 

“And I meant what I said. I’m going to keep you safe this time, I promise.” He said quietly, reaching down to feel where his cock was bulging your stomach— where a baby would be growing soon enough. “All of you.” 

[daisyblog]

Zane Lowe

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN is mentioned in Harry’s interview with Zane Lowe.

Based on this request.

“Nice nails” Zane compliments Harry who’s sitting in the seat opposite.

“Thanks” Harry politely replies as he glances down at his turquoise nails sitting on his lap. “Thanks for having me”.

After discussing Pleasing and he loved the idea of It, Zane asked “What made you want to do that?”.

“I think for me like…a big part of it is…like I really like making stuff and I really like..kind of coming up with ideas and collaborating with other…especially YN who again is very creative…I feel like I’m really lucky with people around me both personally and professionally that I get to work with are really fun to work with and…you know working’s like my favourite thing to do so..based on the fact that I think obviously it begins as a hobby so then like getting to make stuff for work I feel like is a real gift. I think if I didn’t think about it too much I would be making music and putting out music constantly…but I’m also aware that I’m a total control freak and I want everything to be perfect..so the idea of like oh I made these four songs I’m just going to put out an EP…It’s just not how I think of it”.

---

“You're faced with a time when you can’t do that…and the great leveller of like it doesn’t matter how much money you have, doesn’t matter where you live, doesn’t matter this doesn’t matter that…you can’t travel you can’t do this, you can’t go outside your house..It’s like suddenly you’re forced to not be this musician guy, you’re forced to be like a boyfriend, brother and a son…and all of those things..and actually I feel like I..you know kind of had a little bit of a chance to focus on that at least for a moment..umm and just stop and kind of take in a lot of stuff and…remember things, you’re kind of gifted this stolen time” Harry explained his view on the world pandemic.

“You mentioned being all these roles…you mentioned being a boyfriend, what was it like during these times?” Zane quizzed. “Because I imagine you got a taste of what it’s like being a “normal” couple”.

Twisting and playing with his rings on his fingers, Harry explains “Umm…YN has always been my comfort you know and I’d like to think I’m hers too…she’s been a big part of my life and…we’ve been through so much tougher…that it was kind of nice to just stop and take that in.” Zane nodded, an indication for Harry to continue “So when the pandemic hit..we isolated in LA for a while..I saw it as a time for us to be just us…but YN did find it hard because she has such a big family…and umm she just wanted to be closer to them…especially her grandparents and siblings”.

“Yeah I can imagine that being hard..being so far away” Zane sympathised “I don’t mean to pry into your personal life but what do you mean by time for just you two?”

“Like..we’ve never known anything other than travelling..or just being surrounded by other people and just having to plan everything in so much detail..to like not be seen you know…so we kind of got to see what a normal like would be like, whatever a normal life is..if that makes sense?”. 

“Yeah it makes total sense”. Zane agreed and could see that Harry craved a little normality in his personal life. 

“I suppose..I’m just like really lucky..because YN just gets it. She got put into the limelight the same as us..you know..so yeah she just gets it and I’m just so lucky” Harry continued with a slight giggle as he repeated how lucky he was. “I think what I’m trying to say is…I hit gold when it came to YN…she really is my best friend too and yeah…it was nice to be just a couple without the added pressures.”. 

---

“We have to acknowledge this because..you know we at one point we were going to this in the United Kingdom”. Harry nodded in agreement “But there’s something wonderful about being in this afterglow of Palm Springs..which is I'm sure is how you feel a little bit after these two amazing headline shows…you seem so chilled you know” Zane laughed but continue “There must have been a relief that you did it?”.

“I just..you know I knew I was going to put something out…whether it’s a show or an album or a song I want it to be perfect..and umm…I think like that’s why I take so much stress on I think around something like Coachella..cause I feel like I want it to be good..like if it’s not going to be good I’d rather not do it..so you know in that kind of setting, no matter what it is kind of…you know the dust or the wind or however many things, it's like so many things can go wrong in that situation..and it's not your show and it's my first festival so…you know I’m kind of going out to the crowd and I like knowing what I’m stepping out to” Harry rambled with a nervous chuckle at the end.

Harry continued ���and that was really terrifying”.

“What was your instinct when they asked you to do it?” Zane interrupted.

“That’s too scary and I’m gonna say no” Harry laughed “But..uh YN was like you need to say yes and was just so encouraging and supportive..you know…plus she’s like my biggest fan so of course she wanted me to do it!”. 

“So..would you say YN helps with the nerves?” Zane asked curiously.

“I was so nervous..like so nervous..and I remember YN being on facetime to Louis before the show..and them both saying just to be myself and to enjoy…and when I was out there I just focused on being me and nothing else”. Harry spoke freely. “Their advice definitely helped…’cause I had the best time!”. 

“Late Night Talking?” Zane stated.

Harry let out a shy chuckle “Uhh…yeah” Harry leans his head on his hand to try and hide is cheeky smile “It’s about YN…well I don’t think it’s a shock to anyone”.

“So…would you say the whole album is about YN?” Zane asked confidently.

“Uhh..most of it..yeah pretty much” Harry smiled “She’s just been a constant in my life..since like we were what..sixteen or seventeen..you know..she’s my life..and I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than myself around her you know…it’s just easy and I love that about our relationship.” Harry explained.

---

“Matilda really shows emotional intelligence and how you were thinking about someone at that time.”. Zane begins to talk about the middle song on Harry’s album. 

“Uh…yeah…I actually didn’t write Matilda”. Harry revealed, causing Zane to looked shocked. “YN had this conversation with someone…and she was getting to know them…and they opened up to her and she was like that’s not normal…so she was almost like writing down what she wanted to say to them…and I was like how many people could relate to this you know…and we agreed that it would make a beautiful song for those who needed to hear it”.

“Waw! It holds a real powerful message and I think even if people don’t feel those things…I think it definitely makes them feel something.”. Zane spoke with passion in his voice. 

“It definitely does….and it was just about saying I was listening….that was YN’s purpose to it”. 

---

“Boyfriends” Zane began “It is a great song..It’s from a male perspective, it’s a very knowing song..and It’s a very self-aware song..you have to have some self-awareness to write from that perspective surely”.

Harry answered immediately “Yeah for sure…Boyfriends was written right at the end of Fine Line” Harry explained “Boyfriends is about like…we’re all flawed you know..and I think pretending like we’re not, I just don’t get it..It’s acknowledging my own behaviour, it’s looking at the behaviour I’ve witnessed..I grew up with a sister so it’s like watching her date people and watching friends…but at the same time admitting I’ve not been a perfect boyfriend either”.

---

“Love of My Life..I’d always wanted to write a song about like home and loving England…and all of that kind of stuff..and it’s kind of hard to do that you know”

“So Love of Love My Life is about home and England?” Zane asked with a slight smirk on his face.

“As I started making them album…I realised it wasn’t about the kind of geographical location…it was more of an internal thing” Harry tried to hide his bashful smile by rubbing his finger under his nose.

“Do I see Harry Styles blushing?” Zane began to tease Harry.

Harry lets out a loud chuckle and tries to hide his face in his hands “You know..I’ll admit that I blush sometimes…especially when it comes to YN!”. 

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream @treehouse-mouse

[bullet-prooflove]

The Farm: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @wabi-sabi1090 @lostinwonderland314 @turtle-cant-communicate @fallout-girl219

Companion Piece to:

Pears - It starts when Carmy makes an order he doesn't remember.

Mornings - Carmy sleeps better with you around.

Bubble - You have no idea that you saved Carmy's life.

Crazy, Stupid, Fucked Up World (NSFW) - Carmy tells you he lvoes you for the first time.

Carmy loves spending days at the farm, he loves walking through the fields, his fingertips skating over the fresh produce that you’ve been cultivating. He loves the vibrance in the colours. The depths of the green, the brilliance of the red, the pops of yellow. He loves all of it, each and every fucking thing.

More than anything he adores the flavours. The rich burst of texture on his tongue as he bites into a blueberry he’s picked fresh from the bushel, the crispness of a ripe tomato he’s plucked from the vine, the crunch of lettuce between his teeth as the taste floods his senses.

Being here inspires him, it has from the moment he’d stumbled onto the eight acre property in search of somewhere to get fresh produce at a decent rate. You’d found him, sitting cross legged in the middle of one of your fields, sketching out a new idea when you sat down next to him, thinking he was a member of the homeless community.

“I can make you a bag up if you want.” You’d said softly. “I know how hard it can be to get fresh stuff when you’re sleeping rough.”

He turned his head towards you then, his brows furrowing into a frown.

“I’m not homeless…” He’d said looking down at himself  in a ratty white t-shirt and sneakers that have seen much better days. “Fuck, do I look homeless?”

“You kinda do.” You agree before you take his hand in yours and drop a couple of blueberries onto his palm. He pops one into his mouth and he swears he’s never tasted anything as good as that single piece of fruit. “It’s all organic, free from GMOs…”

“You can taste it.” He says, eating other blueberry and then another.

You give him some of the overstock to take home with him that night. Some strawberries and raspberries, along with the leafy greens you’ve been growing. He stares at the colours, using the small artist’s set Luca gave him before he left New York to capture their essence as he designs dishes around their flavour palette.

The next time you see him, he’s tossed out the white t-shirt and the sneakers. He’s wearing a soft grey sweater and a pair of jeans Mikey left him instead. His hair is freshly washed and he’s used a little of that moisturiser that Sugar’s been trying to shove down his throat for the past couple of months. He feels better than he has in years and he thinks it’s because of the fruit. He’s been stagnant since coming to Chicago, focusing on keeping his head above water. There hasn’t been time to relax, to take joy in the things around him.

“That’s really sad.” You tell him as you sit beside him once again in what becomes his favourite field. “That you lost your joy.”

“I don’t think that I ever had any to begin with.” He tells you as he stares out across the plush greenery. “I don’t think I feel things the way that other people do, everything feels muted, it has for a long time.”

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly.

And he shrugs his shoulders because at this point he doesn’t know any different. It started back in New York under the tuition of David Fields. The constant barrage of abuse he suffered, it fractured something deep inside of him. His self-esteem had  withered away with under every comment until there was nothing left but this trembling mess.

“Do you worry you’ll never get it back?” You ask him, studying the profile of his face.

“I did.” He tells you before he tilts his head to look at you. His vibrant blue eyes capture yours and you don’t think you’ve ever seen a colour as beautiful as that. “But then I came here and it’s like something inside me just woke up. I’m starting to feel things again, so yea that’s what’s happening right now.”

“I’m glad the farm could help you like that.” You say sincerely.

“I’m guessing the farm helps a lot of people like that.” He says, gesturing to some of the folks out harvesting in the field. “I looked you up, read about some of the mental health programs you run. You’ve got a good rep.”

“Do what you can, for who you can, where you can, am I right?” You say and he thinks that’s one hell of a philosophy to live by in your day to day.

He considers that now as he watches you in the field. You’re wearing yellow wellies over black leggings because it’s potato season and you always get a little muddy. You have his baseball cap turned backwards on your head, your hair spilling out underneath.

It’s in that moment he realises just how truly happy he is, how happy he’s been over the past year and he knows that’s because of this place, because of you.

You’re surprised a couple of minutes later when his arms wrap around your waist. He buries his face into the crook of your neck inhaling the scent of earth that clings to your skin as he draws you back into the shelter of his firm chest.

“What’s up Bear?” You ask as he snuggles in close, his lips ghosting over skin.

“Nothing.” He whispers. “I just fucking love you.”

“That’s good baby…” You smile as you tilt your head towards him. “Because I fucking love you too.”

Love Carmy? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[babyleostuff]

my little gamer | jeon wonwoo

when wonwoo came home from work, happy they let him and the boys end their schedule a bit earlier, he definitely didn’t expect you to be passed out on the couch.

with groceries, and your favourite candy in the bags he was sure you’d get to spend a bit of well deserved quality time over making dinner, maybe end the night with a movie, or him reading you a book in bed. but it looked like you had other plans. 

wonwoo quietly grabbed the blanket that was draped over your couch, and gently tucked you in, making sure you were properly covered, kneeling before your sleeping figure. his fingertips found their way to your hair that fell over your face, and gently, as not to wake you, he swept them away, revealing your pouty mouth, and rosy cheeks. 

wonwoo knew you didn’t like it when he took pictures of you when you were sleeping, always insisting you looked horrible when asleep, but wonwoo would do everything to have his polaroid with him now so he could capture this moment. 

he grabbed the bags from the floor, and not thinking too much about what made you so tired that you needed to nap in the middle of the day, he started preparing dinner, so you could eat when you woke up. 

“so cute,” he thought to himself, as he peeked from around the corner to see if you were still sleeping. 

soon, the smell of food woke you up from your slumber, making your stomach growl. at first, you were very confused why you could smell food, when your fridge and cabinets were out of anything proper to eat, but that’s when you noticed a familiar pair of glasses laying on the table. 

“wonwoo?” you raised yourself to sitting, fixing the cardigan of his you were wearing. he wasn’t supposed to be back for another couple of hours, and it was very unusual for the boys to end things so early in the afternoon. your mind started racing in worry that something bad had happened. 

“wonwoo?” you asked a bit louder, stumbling because of the blanket, which was wrapped around your body. weird, you couldn’t remember covering yourself with it. 

passing by the kitchen, you noticed a pot on the stove with something bubbling inside, and from the smell alone, you knew it was your favourite ramyeon. but wonwoo was nowhere to be seen. 

deciding to help him out with dinner, you turned down the heat a bit, so it wouldn’t spill, and busied yourself with cutting the vegetables that were already laying on the counter, convinced that your boyfriend just went to the bathroom. 

“what are these?” suddenly, wonwoo’s voice echoed through your rather quiet apartment, scaring you to the point where you almost cut yourself with the knife. offended, you turned to him. “i could’ve hurt myself,” but your voice faltered, as you saw what he was holding. 

in his left hand, he was clutching his old gaming headset, and in the other, some games you knew he didn’t play anymore. a warm rush of embarrassment rushed through your body, your cheeks turning into a pretty shade of red. wonwoo, on the other hand, seemed rather amused - both by the thighs he found in your room, and your reaction. 

you weren’t much of a gamer - you didn’t find it entertaining, and you weren’t really good at it either. you usually watched him play, cuddled to his side with a teacup in your hands. that was so much more fun than gaming. 

“care to explain, baby?” he smiled at you, setting the stuff on the counter. you knew wonwoo would never judge you for what you did, yet you couldn’t help but look down avoiding his gaze. “hey, it’s okay. look at me, baby,” he gently cupped your face, lifting your head, so your eyes could meet, as his thumbs stroked your cheeks in a soothing manner.

“i just…,” you took a deep inhale, trying to calm yourself before the embarrassment would eat you up. “i just wanted to be better at gaming,” you admitted, fiddling with the hem of wonwoo’s shirt. 

he looked at you with a puzzled expression, his brows furrowed, and mouth in a small pout. “but you don’t like gaming. i don’t think i’ve ever seen you game since we began dating.” 

you sighed in defeat - you had to tell him why you took his stuff, wonwoo would not back down now. “i don’t like it, but i wanted to be better… for you,” you shyly admitted. “i know how much you enjoy gaming, and i didn’t want to be that girlfriend who doesn’t give a shit about her boyfriend's hobbies.” 

“but why would you force yourself?” wonwoo asked, stunned by your confession. his thumbs halted their movement, his whole attention focused on you. “you know i would never expect you to do something you don’t enjoy.” 

“i know. i just thought you’d be happy if i learned how to play.”

wonwoo let out a sigh, sneaking his hand to the back of your head, cradling it closer to his chest, so he could place his head on top of yours. “i would be happy knowing you do something you truly enjoy, and not force yourself to do something you don't like just to please me,” he wrapped his other arm around your waist, bringing you even closer to his body. 

“i love it when you watch me game. i love your presence next to me, and i wouldn’t change it for the world.” he smiled softly at you, patting your head, as you fell into a comfortable silence. with the feeling of embarrassment long forgotten, you let yourself melt into his embrace, nuzzling your head further up his neck, as you inhaled the familiar smell of his cologne. 

“wait,” wonwoo suddenly pulled your head back, and looked at you with a slightly worried expression. “don’t tell me you were sleeping now, because you stayed up last night gaming.” 

“please, don’t be mad?” you tried giving him your best puppy eyes, knowing that one - he wouldn’t fall for them either way, and two - he’d end up scolding you for staying up so late. “you’re such a hypocrite, honey. how many times have you told me to go to bed, and scolded me for staying up so late, hm?” he cupped your cheek, his gaze full of concern. 

“i did it for you, won.”

“you’re truly unbelievable, honey. 

the bubbling of the ramyeon brought you back to reality, wonwoo’s grip loosening to quickly take care of the boiling soup.

“would you help me?” 

“what was that, baby?” 

you put your hand on his back. “i want you to teach me how to game, and not because i want to make you happy. i really want to try.” 

“of course i’ll help you,” he smiled, and pecked your forehead. “my little gamer.”

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @uniq-tastic @wonvsmile @wonuwoo12 @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @vicehectic

[kayentokk]

Hey :) How are you doing?

Okay so, i wanted to request a platonic father Aizawa in which he is out patroling and he finds his teen daughter doing something ilegal with her friends or something like that.

Please and thankss :)

A/N; I’m okay thanks for asking! Love this idea, I’ve gotten many requests somewhat related to this lately actually! I’ll be posting those throughout the week. Also sorry it’s taken me a while to get to this! 🥲 I truly believe Aizawa is a girl dad and a softie parent. 

Pairing; Platonic!Father Aizawa x Fem!Daughter Reader

Contains; a little ooc Aizawa, fluff, soft, drug mentions, reader is about 16-17 like mha characters, quirk-less reader, death mentions, bad friends, comfort

wc; 1,763

You weren’t supposed to get caught. In fact, you didn’t even think you would. It wasn’t a big deal anyways, you only did it because you thought it’d be a way to relax with your friends. Plus, if you guys did get caught your backup plan was your father. It wasn’t like he was going to detain you…right?

Wrong.

You were very wrong to believe that your father wouldn’t take you into custody over a little weed with your friends. You just wanted to have fun! Besides, you didn’t want to be the ‘perfect heroes daughter’ who’s a buzzkill. Why couldn’t he understand that? 

There was just so much pressure that came with being the child to a hero. Your friends already joked about how you were too ‘good’ to do anything remotely illegal. Which is part of the reason you were in this situation in the first place. 

Of course he just happened to be patrolling around the alley you and your friends decided to get a little high in. That was just your luck, he didn’t seem mad though. So you thought he’d just tell you guys not to do it anymore, and move on. Nope. Leave it to Aizawa to want to teach you a ‘lesson’ all of a sudden. He was normally just a “don’t do it again,” kind of parent. Mostly because you had never done anything of this caliber before.

“Did you really have to bring me in?”

Silence.

“I mean come on, none of the other heroes care. They’re too busy thinking about protecting the city, shouldn’t you be too? Nobody cares about a couple of kids getting a little buzzed, besides everyone does it nowadays-“

“That doesn’t make it okay y/n.”

You’ve rarely seen him like this, so tense. He didn’t look angry, but you couldn’t shake the feeling you got that he was. It was almost….scary. 

So you resigned to a simple, “Okay, I’m sorry.” Were you really sorry though? Not that much, you still didn’t see the big deal. 

He let out a low grunt, “This is serious y/n, I know you think I’m making a big deal out of nothing,” well he said it first, “but you could’ve been seriously hurt.”

“Hurt? From getting a little high?”

“Criminals lace that stuff all the time, whether it’s with poison, more drugs, or whatever else they decide-“

“Yeah sure, but we got it from a trusted source-“

“And who’s that?” He said crossing his arms. 

Oops.

You decided it’d be best not to respond right now. Especially since the source wasn’t technically trusted, just another kid who got it from someone else. Who probably got it from someone else too.

Sensing your apprehension he decide to drop it, “we’ll revisit that later,” he said waving a dismissive hand. “I’ll drop you off at home, you’re grounded.” 

You internally groaned at that, grounded? That’s a new one, you were starting to really regret your decision. You should have just told your friends no, even if it meant being the ‘buzzkill.’ Then you remembered, your friends-

“What about my friends?”

“We’re working on calling their parents to come pick them up soon.”

“No!-“ you said sharply, “I-I mean, can’t you just let them off? Or something?”

“You know that’s not how this works, they are already getting off with a minor offense. The worst they’re going to get is their parents’ scolding.”

“Dad! You don’t understand-“

“I understand perfectly fine, a bunch of young kids wanted to ‘have fun’ and thought this was the best way to do it.”

Okay maybe he did understand, but not your side. He didn’t get that now you’d officially be the outcast, the top 10 ranked hero’s daughter who gets everyone in trouble. Does he get how embarrassing that is? 

“Come on, let’s get going.”

You stood from the chair leaving the comfort of being shielded, by the small desk separator, from your friends’ piercing gazes. They thought your dad would let you all off too considering the chaos the city’s currently in. 

You nervously waved and mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to them before rushing out the door trying to follow closely behind Aizawa. 

You guys didn’t speak the whole way home, you opted for silence mostly because it wasn’t that big of a deal and he just didn’t know what to say. You had never done anything like that before, or had he just never caught you? When did that start?

He remembered when you were little and you’d give your vegetables to stray animals so you didn’t have to eat them, or when you tried to sneak out at night and he caught you. But those were all pretty minor things, and he was only always concerned with your safety.

You’d never done anything this bad, and in terms of the worst thing you could do of course this wasn’t horrible but he still didn’t get why. It couldn’t have just been for fun.

He entered the house after unlocking the door and opening it for you. Before you could make it to your room, where you’d probably go to sulk, he decided he’d ask.

“Why did you want to do that y/n?”

You stopped and turned around to face him. He was standing in front of the door, and now that you actually took in his appearance he looked tired. His dark circles more prominent, eyes a light pink most likely from his quirk, and his black pants had small patches of dust that had been hastily patted off on them. 

You replied after a moment, briefly forgetting his question, “For fu-“

“And don’t just say for fun, because I know you and there are plenty of other things you would do for fun.”

You huffed resigning to just come out with it, “it was a bet.”

“A bet?”

“My friends bet me that I wouldn’t get high with them since I’m a hero’s daughter.”

“And you decided to take them up on that?”

“Yes, I know it was stupid okay?”

“I know you know, you’re smarter than that. So why’d you say yes?”

Why’d he have to be so persistent? “Maybe because I thought I’d finally get some friends.”

“What do you mean y/n? You do have friends.”

“No, I don’t. Momo, Tsu, and Uraraka only hang out with me out of pity, since you’re their teacher, if they even have time-“

“Pity? Y/n no they don’t, there’s nothing pitiful about you at all-“

You scoffed, “don’t lie. I get you’re my dad and all but be honest with yourself, truly honest.”

“I am being honest. I’d never lie-“

Guess you’d just have to spell it out for him then. “The only daughter you had killed your wife, was born quirk-less, and there’s nothing special about her!” You were shocked at the admission of your own feelings but kept going, “I don’t have a talent, I’m not exceptionally smart, I’m not breathtakingly pretty, and I can’t even make friends!” You listed raising a finger for each reason, “Now tell me what about that is not pitiful?”

After that question there was silence, and Aizawa was just looking at you. You hadn’t even noticed you were crying until the first tear slid down your nose crease and hit the corner of your lip. Before touching could even wipe your tear or register the sound of footsteps approaching you, you were being hugged. Fully covered by his arms, your head grazing the bottom of his chin where stubble had began to grow, face buried partially into his scarf. 

You heard high pitched wailing, which you hadn’t even registered was you until his hand began to rub up and down your back with quiet ‘shh’s to try calming you.  

“Don’t cry, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, none of it okay?” He began whispering in your ear.

“Your mom and I both knew the challenges she’d have if she gave birth to you. We were well aware, and she wanted to have you. She didn’t care if she’d die in the process, you are our child.”

He continued comforting you, and when you eventually calmed down he let go and gently pulled your face out of his chest so you could look him in his tired, red eyes. “I love you so much, and I’m sorry if I don’t tell you that enough okay? It’s my fault I’m sorry. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you’re perfect. I mean that, I’d never lie. You don’t need a quirk, to be super smart, or have a special talent. You’re perfect to me, okay? And that’s all that matters. You’re important to me,” he said firmly. 

“Okay?”

You sniffled, reaching a hand to wipe your nose, “okay.”

“Hey,” he said turning your face back to his, “I really mean it, I’d be no where without you. And how could you say you’re not beautiful? I know I’m not the best looking hero, but haven’t you seen the pictures of your mom? You take after her, gorgeous. Nothing I’d ever change about you, I don’t regret anything.”

“Okay,” you said slightly unused to him saying these things, “I’ve never heard you say something so corny dad,” you said chuckling trying to lighten the mood. 

At that, he gave a small grin which faded when he remembered your earlier point, “And Ochaco, Tsuyu, and Yaoyorozu do like being your friend. Not just because I’m their teacher, trust me I’m more of a supervisor if anything. I let them figure most stuff out on their own. They wanted to meet and hang out with you. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, you make friends just fine.” 

“I know, I know, it was just heat of the moment stuff dad.”

He let out a sigh of relief, hugged you once more, and pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead.

“I still have about another hour of night patrol, but I’ll stay here if you want me to?”

“No dad, it’s fine go.”

He looked at you once more as if saying, ‘are you sure?’ 

“Yes I’m sure I’m fine, it’s only an hour anyways.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything, I’ll be back soon,” he said headed towards the door.

“Okay,” you said starting to walk to your room. 

But just before he shut the door you dashed for it and started, “Hey! does this mean-“

“No you’re still grounded,” he said. 

And with that the door shut.

@/cafekitsune for the divider!

[fatkish]

Could you do a Aizawa x suicidal daughter please?Sorry if this is too dark but I’ve seen some of your other works about stuff like this and it makes me feel seen I guess thanks :)

(Sorry Anon, I know that you specifically asked for an x daughter reader, but I feel that this is a topic that happens to a lot of people so I decided that I would make it Gender Neutral since everyone could used a little Dadzawa every now and then. If you want me to make one specifically for a Dadzawa x Daughter Reader then I’ll do that.)

Father Aizawa x Suicidal Reader

If I was Happy

TRIGGER WARNING: The following contains mentions of suicide ideation, self harming thoughts and feelings and other potentially triggering things. Please be advised and refrain from reading if this will trigger you.

You hadn’t always struggled with these kind of thoughts and feelings, or maybe you did. Maybe you had these thoughts before, but it had felt like so long, you couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t feel this way.

You didn’t understand why you felt so horrible about yourself or when it started but you knew that originally, you didn’t think this way about yourself.

As these horrible thoughts ran rampant in your mind, thoughts of how you’re worthless, maybe you���re fat or you’re too skinny. Maybe you’re ugly or you have acne. Maybe your nose just doesn’t fit your face, or you have oily or greasy hair that you just can’t get rid of. Maybe you heard people who made fun of you and their words made you bully yourself worse than they did. Maybe you hated everything about yourself and you couldn’t take it anymore. Or maybe the state of the world was too depressing and you didn’t want to be a part of it. Whatever the case is, your world grew darker as you turned on yourself. You became your own worse critic. But still, you didn’t let anyone see the truth, especially your amazing dad.

And maybe that’s when you finally got the idea. The thought that maybe you should die.

You couldn’t remember when the last time was that you didn’t have these thoughts. It’s like a demon came inside of you and decided to poison you, making you hate yourself and everything that you were.

It hurts. It hurts to live like this. People can say things like, it’s selfish to kill yourself. Or killing yourself isn’t the solution. That you’re only hurting the ones that love you, but if those people really loved you, then wouldn’t they want your suffering to end? Why would the people that love you want you to suffer? Aren’t they the ones being selfish? You wouldn’t force an animal that’s in pain and has little to no quality of life to continue living just because you love them. Right? That’s inhumane. So why must you keep living if you don’t have any quality of life?

These were the kind of thoughts that plagued you late at night. You tried your hardest to live on and not let anyone know that you were suffering, especially your dad.

Your dad was amazing. He’s the best father you could ask for. Maybe he isn’t perfect, but you never once doubted his love for you. You knew that one of his best friends had died when he was in highschool. You know that it severely affected him. He might not be the most affectionate person in the world, but he doesn’t have to be. His eyes and smile say it all.

One night, you couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. You decided that you would write a letter and explain to your dad why you killed yourself and tell him is wasn’t his fault. You loved him so much, he’s always been there for you. But you know how stressful his life is and you just can’t fight off the part of you that believes you’re a burden to him. Your dad doesn’t need anymore stress especially from you. So you write a note and decided to do something special for him. You wrote, played and recorded a song for him.

(Play song above or play on YouTube)

Dear God, please, hear me out

I know it's been a couple years

Since I've reached out and said hello

I bet You're wondering

Why I keep

Obsessing on and stressing all the little things

When I should be

Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have

No excuse to give you, it's true

Hanging by a thread's how I live

I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames, acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

As you played the song and sang, you didn’t know that your dad had come home. He knew that you had been learning to play instruments from Hizashi but he didn’t realize you were this good. He started to walk up the stairs and as he listened to the lyrics, his heart began to hurt, as he wondered why you sang this particular song, and with such emotion too.

Yeah, been this way so long

It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed

I got some issues that I won't address

I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest

I got some traumas that I can't forget

I got some phone calls I been avoiding

Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip

Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips

Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet

Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul

And the last to admit I need a hand to hold

Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road

Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

Your dad listed outside your door as he took in the words and began to worry and hope that you were just going through an edgy phase but with his experience, and his gut, he knew that is wasn’t just a trivial thing.

Don't know what's around the bend

Don't know what my future is

But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy

As you put down the guitar and walked up to the recording device you spoke.

“Dad, I know that you’re probably upset… no… you’re definitely upset and I’m sorry for causing you this pain, but I just couldn’t keep living like this. The pain is never ending and I don’t think it ever will. You’ve been so great to me all these years and I love you so much… I … I’m sorry. I know it hurts and I don’t ever want you to blame yourself for what I chose to do. I’m sorry I hurt you and you don’t ever have to forgive me for taking my own life, I know I won’t forgive myself for the pain it’s causing you. There wasn’t anything you could have done to prevent this… I love you… and I always will…”

You couldn’t continue as your tears overflowed and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. As you fell to the floor with your face in your hands a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you into a strong chest. Through your crying you could hear the crying of another person, and through your tears you saw the familiar black shirt and white capture scarf that belonged to your dad.

As you cried you wrapped your arms around your dad and continued to cry into his shoulder. He pulled you into his lap and cradled you in his arms as he held you tightly, afraid to let you go.

“I’m so sorry that you feel this way but please don’t do anything drastic, please. Baby I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. You mean everything to me and you’re the reason I come home every day. You’re my world and my everything. So please… please… don’t kill yourself or hurt yourself anymore. I don’t think my heart could take it”

Aizawa cried as he spoke softly into your hair as he held you. He remembered the day he first met you in the hospital. Your tiny newborn body was so small, your little hand could barely wrap itself around his pinky finger, but you held his hand for the first time. Your tiny little hand held onto his finger as tears spilled down his cheeks as he took in the sight of his newborn child. He feel in love at first sight as he held your tiny body. He vowed to protect you and be there for you no matter what.

And you opened your eyes and looked into his. You were his whole world. The only things that existed in the moment were Aizawa and his newborn child. To him, you’re everything, you’re what he fight to come home to, you’re his reason to live and survive even the most gruesome and brutal fights. He’ll never give up and he’ll always come home to you. After all, that’s the promise he made you when he first met you.

As you both pulled away and looked into each other’s teary eyes, you smiled and laughed.

“What’s so funny”

“You’ve got snot on your shoulder… I’m so sorry”

You apologized but couldn’t help but laugh at that for whatever reason. Your dad just smiled softly and wrapped his arms around you.

“You do realize I changed your diapers when you were a baby right? You puked on me, shit on me, there’s no body fluid that you haven’t already gotten on me” he smiled as you laughed even harder at the image of a younger him covered in baby vomit with a grossed out face.

As you both laughed and he told you stories of you as a baby, he remembered everything he loved about you.

“I love you sweetheart, I always will. Tomorrow, we are going to the hospital to get your mental health evaluated and whatever happens, I promise I’ll be there for you, okay”

“Okay”

You gave you dad one last hug before cleaning everything up and you decided to take a bath before bed.

Part 2:

[gayfanservice]

Kei with a male reader. figure their on the debate club or something and Kei vents to them because their a non biased person regarding volleyball and his team. Figure they give encouragement and kei just bluntly asks them out.

Guess who’s back (back again) I am back! (Once again)

Friends to lovers, i dont know anything about debating

*********

“-and that tiny-ass-mother-”

“Too strong, Kei, try to keep the emotions at an even level so it doesn’t cloud your judgement.”

“Huh? I’m not debating this, he’s tiny!” Kei huffed, cheeks pink and puffed ever so slightly as (Y/N) chuckled.

“Right, sorry, continue.”

Kei was currently flopped on (Y/N)’s bed, who was sitting at his desk, a notepad and pen in hand, looking like a therapist.

“He’s so annoying. We’re doing basic drills and these two just keep arguing! They argue about this, they argue about that! All they do is argue!” His hands dramatically extended to the air.

“Mhm, and how does that make you feel?” Kei sighed at his friend’s poor attempt to be funny, who found it just a little funny to fuck with him. If Kei didn’t like him so much, he would’ve kicked his ass for not taking this outrageous news to heart.

“Awful, because after practice I came here only to have your ass joking about my suffering.” There was obviously no malice behind the words; a playful undertone was hanging from them as his heart sped up. He huffed, again, and rolled to his side, cheeks turning more red, “If you were there, you’d understand.”

“Maybe, the only teammate of yours I know is Yamaguchi.” (Y/N) continued writing in the notepad for a few seconds. “Do you know why they fight?”

“‘Cause they’re stupid.” Kei snorted out, a proud look on his face as he rolled onto his back. “And immature, can’t forget that part.” He heard his friend hum, acknowledging his words. “But, you have no idea how much that twerp gets me so… angry! Genuinely, he’s the most annoying guy I know!”

“Have the captains-”

“Captain, technically there’s just one captain.”

“Just gonna down-play one, got it.” (Y/N) grinned, “Has the captain and co-captain, or whatever term you guys use, talked to them?”

Remembering how the two were literally thrown out because they couldn’t get along with each other, Kei bursted into a short, obnoxiously loud laugh, “You have no idea, they literally kicked them out of the gym until they could get along!”

Surprise was evident on (Y/N)’s face, “Wow, that, uh, yeah, that is a pretty intense hatred.”

Kei let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t deal with those two, I swear.” He mumbled, rubbing his face, glasses pushed up to his forehead. “Thanks for letting me rant, without much interruption of course.”

“No prob, dog-”

“Gross.” If only he didn’t like this debating nerd.

“It’s always good to get stuff off your chest.”

“Is that way you joined the debate club?”

“No, I just like telling people they’re wrong.”

“I- that happens? I thought… actually, I don’t know what I thought.” (Y/N) cackled as he continued writing. Kei’s heart swelled at the noise, staring at the faint outlines of those glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, no doubt that (Y/N) had since childhood. He sighed obnoxiously loud, again, “What am I gonna doooo,”

“Well you could quit-”

“No?” Kei scoffed at the audacity of this man to even think he’d quit volleyball because of those two dumbasses.

“-or you can tough it out. Just because they don’t get along now, doesn’t mean they never will. I bet in a couple weeks they’ll tolerate each other and stop being annoying.” The emotionally intelligent one said, still writing in the notepad.

“Yeah, I will.” As if he wasn’t already doing that.

The two sat in silence, for only a couple minutes. Kei went onto his phone, scrolling through whatever app was available to him. His face was still warm, heart still faster than normal. He liked the other boy for quite some time now, but he never had the guts to actually say anything. Hell, Kei wasn’t even sure if (Y/N) even liked him as a friend, but at this point it’d be awkward if he didn’t, so he assumes yes.

Kei took a deep breath, heart pounding faster and face turning red as he sat up, phone discarded to the side. Might as well confess after spilling your hateful guts, right?

“(Y/N),” He got a hum as said boy stopped writing, making eye contact with a red Kei, “Wanna go out with me?”

(Y/N) froze, the bluntness and randomness completely taken him by surprise. He felt his face heat up and tried to keep his composure, “Wow, very blunt and straight forward, never expected less from you, Tsukki.” He grinned.

“Oh, fuck you.” (Y/N) laughed as Kei deadpanned, not fond of how his friend called him by his childish nickname. “Statement: retracted.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head.

“Wait- no- Kei, I’m sorry!” (Y/N) snorted, amused by Kei’s childish actions, “I’m sorry, you just took me by surprise and I had to get you back! Yes, yes, I’ll date you, sourpuss.”

“Hm, I don’t know if you deserve it anymore.” A smile crept onto Kei’s face no matter how hard he tried to stay nonchalant. (Y/N)’s grin widened, setting the notepad and pencil down.

“Fine, you leave me no choice,” He held his hands up in a mock surrender, “I guess we’ll both just be single for the rest of our lives, forever craving the touch of one another.” He held a hand over his heart, almost tipping the chair over with how far he leaned back.

“God, you’re weird.” Kei feigned disgust at the display in front of him.

The two laughed as they finished whatever they just did, the afternoon sun casting a shadow into the dimly lit room.

(Y/N) got up from his spot, “So, are we dating?” He asked as he sat beside Kei.

Kei’s heart once again sped up at the closeness of the other, “Uhm, I don’t know,” he didn’t know why he was awkward now, perhaps his brain was occupied with how easily he could lay down and finally cuddle (Y/N) like he’s thought of for the past couple of months, or perhaps it just suddenly got really hot out of no where, “are we?”

(Y/N) pretended to think, putting a finger to his chin as he leaned on Kei, “Sure, why not?”

*********

It has been… awhile lol

Read the rules before following

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable? 

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions. 

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3. 

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside. 

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said… 

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from. 

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?

[inkdrinkerworld]

high hopes

wc: 4.7k

cw: dealer!remus, high reader, rough family dynamic, impied parental abuse

“You never think of anyone but yourself!” are the words shouted at you as you walk out of the front door and you shudder. 

It’s been like this for months, your parents have been just taking hits at you when they can, roping your siblings into it too. 

You’re not entirely sure what you’ve done for them to suddenly look at you like this, but you don’t have much time to think about it. 

Your friends are outside waiting for you to join them so you slap a smile on and skip out your gate. 

“You look hot Bubbles,” one of them compliments,the use of your high school nickname making you smile, kissing her cheek as you get in the back. 

“So do all of you!” you compliment back, hoping your voice sounds cheerful. “Where are we hitting up tonight?” 

The call of alcohol and something to make you forget is too strong to resist. You need them. 

Your friends jump into the house party you’re all going to and when you pull up you smile. 

It’s a modest house, two stories from the looks of it, but it’s the group of people outside the door that really make you smile. 

You can’t remember the last time you’d gone to a house party where people actually smoked outside and not in the house. 

Also, the music was blaring and from the sounds of it, you’d be losing your voice tonight. 

“Okay, I’ll get the weed, Bubbles you’re with me.” Your friend, Marlene, links your arms and drags you towards the group of smokers. 

“Hello boys,” she calls, and they all look up. The first one to catch your eye is the beefy one with inky curls that sit messily on his head, he’s gorgeous. 

“This is James,” she points to the other boy beside him, the one with tattoos crawling up his exposed arms. 

He’s pretty too, but in a model way. He has strong cheekbones, lots of silver jewellery and hair that brushes his shoulders, “Pretty boy here is Sirius,” he only takes a drag of the cigarette between his fingers. 

“And this,” she says, pointing towards the last boy, “Is Moony, or Remus.” 

He’s by far, in your opinion, the most beautiful. He’s got sandy brown hair that flops over his eyes a little, and has scars running across his face, but the one that splits his upper lip catches your attention as it turns a silvery white under the starlight. 

“Boys, this is Y/N. But I call her Bubbles.” 

They all hum while you wave and James asks, “Bubbles like from the cartoon with the superhero girls?” 

Marlene nods with a wide smile, “She’s adorable and she’s always so happy and that’s our Y/n.”

Remus raises his eyebrows at the comment and you give him a soft smile. His eyes linger on yours rather than the soft smile, and there’s something there that he can tell is for the benefit of your friends. 

“We came to buy something,” you remind Marlene and she nods. 

“Yeah, I wanted a couple blunts for now and I’m placing an order for brownies.” she says to Remus who shakes his head. 

“No, I only have the stuff that made you grind your teeth last time.” 

You watch kind of silently as they go back and forth: Remus insists he’s not listening to Marlene gripe about her jaw or teeth for another week, and Marlene insists that Remus is being dramatic. 

Really though, you silently side with Remus because she had complained about lock jaw and sensitive teeth for a week the last time. 

“Pretty girl, help me out.” he says, lazily leaning against a post as he faces you. 

“Tell Marls that no one wants to hear about her lock jaw,” his honey eyes captivate you now that his full attention is on you. 

“Marls, you really shouldn’t ruin your teeth.” you say gently and she scoffs. 

“You’ll hook me up with your dentist again, Moony’s being frugal.” 

Sirius shakes his head and butts in before you have to. 

“Marls, come take a drag of mine.” she squeals and goes off with Sirius to a corner, James passes by when Lily arrives and that leaves you with Remus who’s still leaning on the post. 

“Do you really only have molly?” There’s a little hint of hopefulness in your voice and a lazy smile spreads on his lips. He pushes off his spot and jerks his head to his car. 

“I’ve only got molly where Marlene’s concerned. She’s been smoking too much recently,” you can attest to that fact. 

“Is that really so bad for you?” Though they seem like friends, you know Marlene well enough to know that sometimes, people were just people and you knew people enough that sometimes money was just money no matter who it came from or how they got it. 

“I kinda have’ta keep her ‘round, Sirius’ll have my head and the girl’s got a bright future.” you snort at Remus’ obvious sarcasm. The brightest thing about Marlene was her personality and while it had opened lots of doors, you don’t suppose it’ll open business doors- not any that Marls would take a liking to anyways. 

She’d always been much better suited for things that didn’t make her conform. 

“I’ve got brownies though, maybe like two more.” he opens his passenger door and brandishes a resealable shiny bag

Just seeing the bag conjures memories of your last high. The sun had been so warm after you’d eaten the gummy bears that your skin had peeled the next day after you had accidentally fallen asleep on the deck. 

“How much?” you ask, already envisioning the high you’re going to have. 

“Seventy,” he says and you nod, reaching into your purse and pulling out a hundred dollar bill. 

“I don’t have anything smaller, but you can keep the change.” you say and Remus shakes his head. 

There’s something about the way you look at Remus then at the bag that makes him set on not taking the hundred dollar. 

“I couldn’t,” he could, the extra thirty would probably get him the week’s worth of fruits if he spent it at Frank’s. It could probably get him that new keyboard too, or well, it could go towards it. 

“I insist, if they’re as good as Marlene claims they are, I’ll be buying in two days. Think of it as an advancement.” you say and Remus nods hesitantly. He barely withholds asking if you’re going to take the two tonight and why you would need to buy in two days specifically.

“Don’t eat both of them tonight, the high kicks in after twenty minutes.” he can’t stop himself s he notes the look in your eyes from earlier. 

‘Thanks Remmus,” he watches you go over to Marlene and just barely makes out the words, ‘cheeky bastard’ before Sirius whisks him away to the party.

When he spots you again you’re sitting on the sofa with the biggest bowl of cereal known to mankind and scrolling through your phone. 

He also notes that you’re alone and none of your friends are near you.

Sirius noticed and shook his head, slapping his hand down on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“You look like a creeper,” Sirius says lightly, leaning over Remus’ shoulder. Remus scoffs, watching milk dribble down your chin. 

“She’s high and Marls is pissed out her mind and her other friends aren’t even around.”  

Sirius looks around and the group you’d come with aren’t visible but he knows where Marlene is, he left her in one of the rooms to recover. 

“So you’re gonna stare off at her from afar and not just make friends?” Remus groans at how creepy Sirius makes him sound and pushes his friend off him. 

“She hardly knows me,” He argues but Sirius just laughs. 

“What does that have to do with anything? You’re not taking her back to your gaff.” 

Remus sighs, brushes his hands on his thighs and stands, intent on making his way over to you. 

“Pretty girl,” he greets you and you turn, eyes glassy and low as a smile spreads on your lips slowly. 

“Moony!” Remus feels his own lips quirk. Taking the seat, he observes you for a moment. Unsure what conclusion to draw and says,

“Where are your friends?” you look around at his question and shrug with a sigh. 

“Marlene slept with your black haired friend. The one with the grey eyes,” you slur over the words a little. Your tongue like wet sand under pressure. “My other friends are off doing whatever. S’fine really, I quite like being alone.”

Remus begs to differ. You shouldn’t be alone while high like this. 

“You’re not alone anymore though,” he says and you nod, cracking the joints in your fingers. 

“Nope, you’re here.” you don’t sound upset that he is and Remus takes that as a good sign. 

A silence covers the space but then your phone rings and you flinch at the sound. 

You fish it out your purse and sigh when you see whatever name on the screen. 

Remus watches as you answer, eyebrows bunching together when you seem to be cut off. He reckons if the music wasn’t so loud he’d hear raised voices on the other side of the phone. 

“I gotta go,” you say awkwardly to Remus as you hang up. “It was nice to meet you Remus.” 

You don’t sound nearly as happy or as carefree as you had when he’d first sat down and he’s not sure if it’s that fact or how sad you look now that has his standing too. 

“I can take you,” the words are out his mouth before he can stop them and if Sirius was closer Remus is certain his tattooed friend would laugh at how desperate he looks. 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” you say but Remus shakes his head. 

“You’re not asking, I offered and you’re stoned. There’s not a fat chance you’re driving anywhere, pretty girl.” 

You nibble on your lip, debating his argument and when you find no rebuttal you sigh. 

“Okay, but just,” you hesitate. “No comments about anything you see. Not to Marls or anyone.” 

It’s cryptic but Remus nods, “Let me just tell Sirius I’ll be back.” 

You nod and text your friends that Remus is dropping you home. 

Instantly Marlene responds with a series of random letters and an excited voice note saying that you should definitely exchange numbers with him. 

Your other friends don’t answer, but you say a quiet prayer that they’re safe.

The drive to your house is filled with your soft singing along to Remus’ radio and a plea for him to, “Please please stop at Dominoes.” 

He stops and you sponsor him a pizza and a lava cake before he arrives at your house. 

Remus doesn’t say anything but you can tell he’s staring at your house and you give him an embarrassed smile. 

“Yeah, it’s a bit much, but my parents worked hard and they wanted to reflect that I guess.” 

Remus detects a hint of distant disdain for what you have but he’s not entirely sure why. 

“Thanks for the ride Remus,” you give him a side hug and before he can thank you for the pizza, the front door is being opened and out comes your father. 

“You might wanna drive off,” you can feel the trepidation building in your gut when Remus doesn’t move to pull out of your driveway. “He’s gonna start yelling if you don’t.” 

You really want Remus gone before your dad escalates the situation. 

“I’m not leaving till you’re inside.” he says, and you want to smile but it comes out a bit tight and pinched. 

If Remus can feel the anxiety rolling off you he says nothing and you’re grateful but you really wish he would leave. 

There’s no telling how this night is going to end. 

“Get inside now,” your father bellows and you grimace. 

“Goodnight Remus,” you walk backwards toward your front door and say, “Come back in three days with more brownies, please. Thanks for tonight Remus.”

Remus nods and you finish your trek to your father who waits till Remus can’t see to grab your arm and all but drag you into the house. 

“You’re hurting me,” you whimper and your father’s grip only tightens. 

“Not as much as I could.”

The three days pass quickly, and you’re really grateful that you’ve got school work backlogged that keeps you in England while your family goes to Spain. 

You’re nose deep in your work, drawing designs and mapping the layout of different buildings when your phone rings. 

“Damnit,” you mutter, it’s almost like thinking of your family conjures them even miles and miles away. 

“Hey ma,” you’re ready for the conversation to go sour at any point. 

It does, you hear your dad in the back mutter about how you’re ‘the only one who doesn’t care about the family’ and his other verbal assaults and while your mum tries to temper his accusations you can’t help but feel your heart crack. 

“I’ll call you back mum, enjoy the rest of the vacation.” 

She tries, bless her heart, to keep you on the phone but she knows that the call that was supposed to be about her telling you of the jewellery she picked up for you isn’t for right now.

“I’ll talk to you tonight. I love you.” then she’s gone. 

Your tears don’t stop after you hang up, your chest feels heavy with the weight of your father’s words. 

You’re not really sure how long you’ve been reduced to tears but then you hear a car pull up and its horn. 

“Shit, fuck!” you mutter, pulling back the curtain and seeing Remus’ car. 

“Just my luck,” you say, putting on your glasses so it’s harder for him to tell you’ve been crying. 

Grabbing your purse you rush outside and give Remus a tight smile when he comes out of his car. 

“Pretty girl, this is an unusual outfit.” he’s only teasing. You’re in what you call ‘daytime pyjamas.’ They’re a light pink set with flowers on them and they stop at mid thigh. 

Remus has a hard time looking away from the dough of your thighs and though his hands are full, they’re itching to grip your exposed skin. 

“It’s an unusual day,” your voice is still thick with tears and Remus can tell. 

His mind drifts back to Marlene’s comment about you always being happy and takes a look at your eyes and finds them bloodshot. 

“Yeah? Maybe it can be made better,” you nod, hopeful that it can be. “There’s four in the bag.” 

It’s a shiny blue bag this time and when you take it from Remus, you can smell the weed. 

“Four? You’re spoiling me.” you say and Remus laughs. 

“Not technically, you’re still paying.” 

You wave your hand at him and he laughs some more. 

“How much do I owe?” 

“Seventy,” you shake your head. 

“Something about that doesn’t seem accurate, Remus.” 

Remus presses a hand to his chest, “It’s the truth. You let me keep thirty last time.” and you bought him dinner the other night.

You roll your eyes, “Then that means two are seventy, so I owe one ten.” 

You pull the bills from your wallet and hand it over to Remus who stares at you in shock. 

“Most people take the lower price and don’t say anything.” 

“I’m not most people,” you shrug and Remus is inclined to agree. 

Your phone rings again and you decline the call when you see ‘dad’ plastered on the screen. 

“You going to Marls’ house party tonight?” Remus asks while he has your attention. 

“And risk a verbal lashing if I stay home? No amount of backlogged research and case studies would ever get me out of it.” 

Remus likes when you smile like you do when you imagine Marlene upset with you. 

It’s a real one, not the one you’d been wearing the night of the other house party and then Remus feels insane for thinking he knows you well enough to tell your smiles apart. 

Your phone rings again and again you decline and then a text pops up that makes you grumble to yourself. 

“I guess I’ll see you there Remus,” you say, holding your bag to your chest. “The call of those case studies is too strong to resist today.” 

“Bye, pretty girl. Don’t eat more than one tonight.” 

You raise your hand to wave as you walk away when Remus sees finger shaped bruises along your arm.

“Pretty girl,” he starts and you freeze, dropping your arm with an arched eyebrow. “C’mere a second.” He really shouldn’t ask. He should leave it be, but then he thinks of how Sirius used to have the same bruises too. 

Remus hazards a glance at your face and when he detects anxiety and a little bit of fear, he knows he has to ask. 

“Who did that?” His voice is honeyed as he bridges the gap between you. You’re grateful he doesn’t reach for your arm, certain that it’d bring tears to your eyes. His mind instantly runs to how you’d told him to not say anything about what happened when he dropped you off and his chest aches for you a little. 

“I hit it,” the lie is off your lips easily and Remus clearly doesn’t believe you as he ducks his chin to meet your eyes. “Hard. On a wall.”

He shakes his head at your insistence, but tsks lightly. 

“You shouldn’t protect those people, pretty girl.”your eyes fill involuntarily and Remus worries that he’s overstepped as you shake your head. 

“You don’t know anything about me, I did hit it on the wall.” There’s a slight shrill to your voice and Remus wants to take back his words. “No one has hit me, thanks for the brownies Remus.” 

His name sounds like a curse as he watches you walk away, not leaving a moment for him to even apologise. 

“Nice going Lupin.” 

-

At Marlene’s house party, you hardly speak. You’d eaten an entire brownie before leaving your house, the high already making your fingertips tingle as you held onto your drink. 

You’d opted for something less dramatic than your outfit at the house party- choosing instead a yellow and pink milkmaid dress that was finally wearable as the winter chill came down to a breezy spring. You’d chosen a pair of Mary Janes to be a little safer, knowing there was no way you’d be sober enough for heels. 

“Sexy!” Marlene greets you and it brings a genuine smile to your face. 

“Right back at you Marls,” she’s in a pair of the smallest jeans shorts you’d ever seen but they make her legs look amazing. “You look smoking hot.”

She ushers you inside and that’s when you get the drink, cold and icy making your shoulders go lax. 

“Remus is gonna be late, the git.” Marlene complains as Sirius and James come in, and Sirius gasps. 

“I’m here, I’m company enough.” you shake your head at the teasing look Marlene gives him that makes him huff playfully. 

“Is Lily coming too?” You ask James who looks a little disheartened. 

“She might, got held up at work,” you make quiet conversation with everyone, but when Remus arrives you feel thin. 

Like he can see right through you as you laugh and joke with Frank, Mary and Marlene. 

Marlene reads your stare at Remus as a lack of a chapter in your life in the five days you’ve been apart. 

“What’s goin’ on there?” sh gestures vaguely between you two s Remus makes for the kitchen. 

“Nothing, we hardly know each other,” you try to stick with the truth. “I think he’s upset about something else.”

Thank God for Sirius who swipes her away and her impending twenty one questions are saved for another time.

Your high only peaks higher as the night wanes on and when you can hardly wiggle your fingers without giggling, Remus wants to slot himself beside you and make sure you don’t get influenced to go in the pool.

“We should’ve waited til the full moon,” he hears you say, close enough to make sure you’re alright, but far enough away that he’s uninvolved in the conversations. 

“Why?” Mary asks, Lily nodding along. You’re glad she had been able to make it, James had really seemed to miss her. 

“Dancing naked under the full moon in a new house is like a guaranteed way for divine protection.” it’s a load of bullshit, something funny you’d picked up from Practical Magic, but you always wondered if you could actually invoke some spirit by doing it. 

“We can still do that Bubbles,” Marlene says, then with as much precision as a drunk person could have she points to Remus. “We can dance under Moony.”

Everyone laughs but your eyes follow her finger and find Remus closer than you’d expected. 

“Would you let us?” you ask, wonder on your face as you stare at him. “I dunno how that’d even work, but I suppose if you’re willing,” you shrug at the end of the sentence, your brain running off trying to figure out how it would be possible realistically. 

Remus takes the opening in conversation as an indication to come closer and sits right beside you. Your thighs are pressed together and you’re sure Remus can smell your toffee and vanilla perfume. 

“I’m sorry about the earlier, pretty girl.” The guilt that he’d made you cry had been gnawing at him all day, sitting heavy on his chest as he tried to go on about his day. He knows he’s overstepped, but he really had been worried. Remus is worried even now. You’re still mumbling to yourself about how you wouldn’t actually be able to dance beneath him. 

“Pretty girl,” he taps your thigh gently, snapping your attention to him. 

“I’m mad at you,” your voice is feathery as you try to keep the words a secret. “You weren’t supposed to ask questions.”

Remus nods sagely, “I know. I’m sorry for making you cry.” he says and you turn to make sure none of your friends have heard him. He finds it odd- that you seem nervous about them finding out you’ve cried recently. 

“S’okay, you didn’t mean to.”

Silence fills the gaps in conversation, till Marlene is yelling for you by the pool again. 

“Come swim,” she calls and you smile. 

“I’ll get all wet, Marls.” 

Remus thinks the possibility that you ingest some of the pool water is pretty high too. 

“And? I’ve got pyjamas! The soft ones that you like.” 

You feel tears prick your eyes at that, but that’s why Marlene really is your best friend.

“Okay, but you have’ta catch me!” 

Toeing off your shoes quickly you run to the edge of the pool, and jump in and Remus is almost in behind you till you resurface.

“S’fucking cold Marls!” you shriek and she cackles.

You rough house for a bit then feeling your stomach churning.  

“Remus,” your teeth chatter over his name. “Help me out.” he’s quick on his feet, lifting you out of the water from under your arms and leading you to a bush in the corner. 

He doesn’t stare at the curve of your ass or how your dress clings to you like a second skin, but it’s tempting. 

Then you retch and all he can think about is pulling your hair back and rubbing your back. 

When you’re done, you sit on the ground shivering a little and wiping your mouth with the hem of your dress. 

“Think you’re all tapped out for tonight, pretty girl.” you nod, sighing and leaning into Remus. If he minds he doesn’t say. 

“Here,” he slips his sweater on you, revealing a plain white shirt underneath. His sweater is warm and green and it smells like what you expected Remus to smell like- weed and mint. 

“It’s gonna get all wet,” there’s a pout in your voice that Remus longs to coo at. He just shrugs. You slip the straps of your dress off under his sweater and pull your dress off down your thighs. If he had been tempted by them before, now he thinks he might die from how you look in his sweater that exposes almost the entirety of your legs. 

“Think we should get you a little drier and warm.” he says, helping you stand and leading you back inside Marlene’s house. 

His hand hovers over the small of your back as you wind up the stairs. You push open a few doors till you find the bathroom and Remus stands in the archway. 

“I’m gonna go look for something for you to wear after you shower,” the words are intimate for the relationship you and Remus have. “Do you want anything specific?”

Your eyes look glassy under the light as you stare up at Remus, “She has a pair of pants with little cherries on them and they’re super super fluffy.”

There’s adoration dripping in your voice and Remus wonders how much of both highs are still at play. 

“I’ll leave it on the bed for you,” Remus starts walking away, “You should probably get some sleep though, pretty girl.” 

You nod rapidly and then shut the door, turning on the water and while you wait for it to heat up you mumble to your reflection.

“Get it together, I can’t believe you were just sick in front of him.” You rub your face in the shoulder of his sweater and take a big inhale, breathing in all things Remus and then scowl at yourself. 

“Behave.” you even wag your finger like they do to poorly trained dogs. 

Remus is sitting against the bannister when you come out, steam licking at your heels. His eyes are hazier than before and you’re almost positive he had taken a short nap while waiting on you. He looks pretty though, ankles crossed in front of him and arms crossed over his chest. 

“Didn’t want you to be up here alone,” his voice is husky and you’re fully positive he’d been asleep. 

“You’re gonna make me feel spoiled.” you mumble the words and Remus stretches to standing. 

“What’s so wrong with that?”

He follows you to the bedroom door and then says, “Get some sleep, it’ll help with that headache you’re gonna get.”

As he moves to the stairs you suddenly don’t want him to go. “Wait,” you shuffle towards him, et footprints following you. 

“Your sweater,” the words come out awkwardly as Remus stares down at you. 

“Keep it, it’s still mostly dry and you can put it back on if you get cold.” 

There’s an unsaid, ‘or if you don’t want anyone to see the bruise.’

You nod, but Remus can see gears turning in your head. 

“Don’t laugh at my request.” you dig your toes into the hardwood. 

“I won’t,” Remus is worried you’re going to say something outlandish and hard to come by, but he also wants to know what you want- he wants to be the one to give it to you too. 

“Will you stay with me? Just till I fall asleep and then you can leave if you want.”

The words are rushed and your chin stays firmly tucked into your chest. Remus thinks you look like a little kid who’s nervous about performing for their school.

“Why would I lugh? ‘Course I can, pretty girl.” his knuckles reach to brush some hair off your cheek. “Jus’ let me tell Marls and get you some water and crisps.” 

“Thanks Remus,” you kiss his wrist and go to change. 

Remus swears if you had kept your lips near his wrist any longer you’d have felt his pulse stampeding. 

When he comes back to the guest room, you’re in his sweater just barely awake as you lay down. “Scoot down to the corner, pretty girl.” 

He sets the water on the nightstand and slides in beside you.

“Thanks for staying,” a yawn breaks apart your words and Remus waves you off. 

“It’s nothing, close your eyes.” you do, and your body turns into him, head laying on his arm. 

You’re gonna kill him. He knows it, he feels it in his bones. You’re going to be the death of him.

[cod-dump]

Welcome Home (teen!ghost au)

———

Simon knew something was up. John was talking on the phone a lot with Mrs. Laswell and he kept looking at the spare bedroom. It was two little things, really, but it sparked a memory. Something he did before he sat down Simon about opening their home to another boy, Kyle.

Simon couldn’t be certain that’s what was happening. He was too nervous to ask, wasn’t sure what assuming such a thing would do. So he kept quiet, just watching his father closely. He didn’t say anything to Kyle. He didn’t notice, didn’t care, so why say something? There wasn’t anything determining it… that they could be getting a new sibling. At least a temporary one.

“What’s with the face?”

Simon blinked, refocusing on his homework before he looked up at Kyle who was sitting across from him.

“What?”

“You’re thinking hard… is it the algebra?”

Simon huffs, “Numbers and letters don’t belong together.”

“How dare you try to keep them apart.”

Simon snorts, Kyle setting his pen aside to stretch. Nik was lurking outside, Simon could see him leaning on his SUV through the window. He’s also been on the phone a lot…

“You’re making that face again…”

Simon shakes his head, putting his pen down and getting out of his chair, “Too many numbers. I need a break.”

Kyle stared at him concerned, Simon choosing to ignore him as he left the kitchen. He chose to step outside, taking a breath of the cool evening air before he sat down on the steps of the porch. The season was changing, everything cooling down and the leaves changing color. Simon loved this time of year.

“Homework getting your ass?”

“I haven’t admitted defeat yet.”

Nik chuckles before he walks over and sits next to him, groaning as he does. Simon wanted to ask, wanted to know if what he thought was happening was in fact happening. Nik would know, he knew all kinds of things, but he liked messing around and may not even tell Simon anything remotely useful. So he didn’t ask and just relaxed outside for a bit before he went back inside to finish his homework. A few days would pass without Simon thinking much on his father and Nik’s behavior.

Then him and Kyle would be sat down in the kitchen to talk.

“Boys, you remember Farah, right?”

Simon’s heart picked up hearing her name.

“Remember- Dad, she visited us for Christmas last year!”

John smiles, “How could I forget.”

“Haven’t really heard from her since February, though… Is she okay?”

Simon loved Farah. She was a couple years older than him and was basically his sister by this point. She had lived in the neighborhood since Simon was taken in by John but she ended up moving shortly after Kyle was adopted. She was his best friend before he met Ale and the Los Vaqueros. They somewhat kept in touch but the texts came by fewer and fewer to the point they were basically just them reminding each other that they’re alive.

“She’s been… having issues at home…”

Simon clenched his fists, swallowing. She was never very open about her home life and her family always appeared picture perfect. He chalked up any thoughts that he had about something going on to just him overthinking…

“How would you two feel about her staying with us for awhile?”

They both of course were more than fine with her staying. Simon immediately offered to help clean up the spare bedroom, he wanted everything to be welcoming for Farah.

“Just move the stuff in there to the garage, alright? We’ll deal with it later.”

Simon wasn’t sure what was going on and he was content with probably never getting the full story of what was going on while Farah stayed with them. Simon grabbed Kyle and took him with him to help set up the spare bedroom. He knew that getting it ready quicker didn’t mean Fran was going to get here sooner, but he was excited.

-

Kyle was teasing him for practically sitting at the door waiting for Nik and John to come back with Farah. Simon just glared at him while he texted Johnny. He had told him basically everything about what was happening and it turns out Kyle was doing the same. He was pretty much a part of this even though he has been at his gran’s house for the past week.

“We should have a group chat.”

Simon turned and looked at Kyle who was also on his phone, “What?”

“A group chat with Johnny… though I don’t want to see you two role play or whatever-“

Kyle was pelted in the face by one of the couch pillows. Simon was immediately smacked in the face with the same pillow before Kyle lunged at him. They were quick to end up on the floor considering they had already wrecked one couch (the silence that surrounded their father was something they would like to not experience again). So they were on the floor, Kyle trying to overpower and pin Simon while Simon was trying to pry him off of him. Normally there was someone to referee but—

The sound of a car door shutting gave Simon a boost of strength which allowed him to shove Kyle off of him. Kyle was sprawled on the floor as Simon ran to the door and peeked out the window next to it. The moment he saw Farah he swung the door open and ran out. The girl had a solid ten seconds to notice Simon after he shouted her name before he all but tackled her into a fierce hug. She instinctively hugged him back, squeezing his shoulders with an equal amount of desperation. it’s been so long since they had last seen each other and they were both afraid the other would disappear the moment they parted.

“Si, stop suffocating the girl and help get her things!” There was amusement in his dad’s voice, an undeniable fondness.

Simon gave an extra squeeze before he set Farah down, noticing the drying tear tracks as he steps away from her. He noted it before he ran to the back of the SUV to grab a box. His eagerness made Nik laugh and remind him to be careful. Kyle came out to greet Farah, them sharing a less emotional hug and something more casual and definitely awkward. Farah had always been Ghost’s friend that Kyle somewhat knew, he hoped that didn’t stir anything up while she was staying with them.

-

They had piled everything into the spare, now Farah’s, bedroom. Simon had so much to say, so much to ask, but he could tell Farah was drained. There was this look in her eye, something Simon had once when he was first picked up by Mrs. Laswell taken in by John. It went away with time, so he hopes Farah would come around to being her old self again.

“I need to wash some clothes… and make my bed… Fuck, I need a nap,” Farah took the shirt she fished out of a box and threw it at the growing pile near the closet.

“I can do your laundry while you nap.”

Farah sighed, “You don’t have to, Si. Your dad is already doing so much by picking me up and letting me stay here.”

“Hey, he’s doing it because he wants to. And I want to do your laundry so you can take a nap. You need it.”

Farah gave him a glare with no heat behind it, “You saying I look bad?”

“You look tired.”

Farah huffs and leans against Simon, slumping her full weight against him, “I am… can you do the laundry later?”

“Why not now?”

“I… I don’t want to be alone…”

Oh. Simon frowned, the urge to do something to comfort Farah making his hands twitch. He wasn’t sure what she’s been through and he wasn’t going to ask. So he decided to sit with Farah as she napped, her hand gripping his shirt as she fell asleep.

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 24 Months

Well, these past couple months have been hell, with a light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve now reached, but still. Anyway, on with the show…

So, before I get into the really gritty stuff, my jaw and teeth were converted pretty early on, as well as my ear bones. The former were a little funky, but honestly nothing really changed there, since I already don’t need to chew things, losing my teeth was no big deal, and for the latter, there was a small blip in my hearing - for a few minutes - but then it came back, honestly better than before. I wasn’t super worried about the hearing loss, particularly after eyes taste and smell, only how long I'd be deaf for, but fortunately, as I said, it really wasn't a problem. I’m pretty sure that my slime has just replaced my inner ear’s function innately, and since hearing is just interpreted vibrations, and slime is pretty good at vibrating. What was and has been nice is the cat ears I made a few months back can now actually function, which took a little getting used to, but my hearing is super good now, if a little overwhelming at times.

Right, on to the less pleasant parts: Remember how in the last update I said that apparently you know when your brain goes, yeah, that’s true, and it’s ‘cause it’s genuinely the most painful, disorienting, and scary thing I have ever experienced. First of all, unlike a lot of other changes, it kinda just goes all at once - I think it’s a survival thing, the brain/core wouldn’t function while being half transformed, and it’d probably kill you if they tried to. Only issue is that this means that your brain basically dissolves over the course of a few hours, which is excruciating, and the weeks leading up to that absolutely suck as well.

The first thing I noticed was the pain - headaches, some of the worst I’ve ever had (which I know I’ve said a lot over the course of this, but I was fortunate before to have very little issues, and turns out transforming your whole body hurts). I tried to take some painkillers to help, but they don’t seem to work any more - not sure if it’s ‘cause my biology is so different now, or ‘cause my body breaks them down too well, but either way they don’t work, so I had to suffer through the pain.

Either on top of or because of the pain, I've had a general sense of disorientation. It started off as just sometimes getting a little turned around in games and the like, but it progressed to getting lost if I tried to go anywhere (which was compounded by some other stuff too). Frankly it's a good thing in the final days before my brain changed that I hurt too much to go anywhere, else I probably would have ended up somewhere entirely unknown at a really vulnerable stage in my transformation.

I also have had some memory issues while things have worked things out. My memory has never been amazing in the first place, but I started to get very forgetful, forgetting appointments, plans, even eating (I'd usually ‘remember’ when I started idly eating random things I had around, which has meant I've lost a few things, but I don't remember what so I'm keep finding things I need to replace). I’m also pretty sure I lost some older memories too, but it’s really hard to tell if that’s from normal forgetting or forgetting ‘cause my brain was becoming mush, it’s kinda scary not knowing. This is also part of what compounded my disorientation - when telling left from right is getting hard, forgetting where you're even meant to go or have come from only makes things worse. Also, try reforming yourself from a puddle when you barely remember what you were before… definitely had some interesting shapes recently. Honestly, it was terrifying, I actually didn't know if I'd ever be able to remember things again (obviously I can, but I didn't know that at the time, and my memory of that period are sketchy at best)

Of course, the pain I mentioned earlier made it hard to focus on things, but even beyond that my ability to focus seemed to vanish. I have been so easily distracted over the past couple of months. Genuinely a glint of light or something could completely draw my attention from whatever I was doing, and then I'd usually completely forget what I was doing, get distracted by something else and wonder off. I apparently walked off in the middle of so many games and videos and just any activity I was doing. Frankly it's a miracle that I have any notes, or remember enough to actually write this entry, I kinda spent most of this last month piecing together what I do remember and have notes of (the notes are not the most legible, worse than my normal handwriting which is awful anyways (there's a reason I type these updates)). 

On top of all this, I also had nightmares and hallucinations. The former sucked, but honestly asides from waking up in some weird shapes in attempts to either fight or defend myself from whatever was jumping me in the nightmare (assuming it was a monster one) they were over once I woke up. The hallucinations were worse, since they could appear at any time, and oh boy do they seem real. Sometimes they were small things, noises, or a shape in my periphery. Other times they were blurry, intimidating figures in the distance. And of course with my inability to focus on things, these hallucinations would only be another thing to distract my addled brain. The worst though, was waking up from a nightmare, a puddle unable to reform, and the nightmare continuing as a hallucination in the real world. That'd usually shake me up for a day - and annoyingly my memory issues didn't really seem to extend to them. I'm still working out what was real and fake from that time, and it has not been easy, or fun. My ‘brain’ feels like goddamn soup whenever I think about that time. 

On top of everything else, sometimes I'd faint. Sometimes due to pain, other times (particularly towards the end of the transformation) I'd just keel over, only to wake up in a puddle of myself. It was really disconcerting and scary… kinda felt like my brain was just cutting out, and I was a little scared it might not cut back in at some point… and of course that’s one of the things I remember clearly, the fear and worry of that - very clear that the ‘remember bad shit’ survival instinct was and still is functioning, as annoying as that is.

Since I don't particularly want to linger on those thoughts more than I already have, an interesting thing to note is that even through all of this, my actual mental faculties didn't diminish - while I was forgetful and distracted, if I managed to make myself, I found myself just as capable as before. I partially did this to help assure myself I wasn't losing myself, but also because, let's be honest, slimes aren't known for being the brightest bunch, and I've been a little worried this whole time that I'd get dumber or something. The pamphlet I was given didn't really say anything about this happening, but I know from trans hrt that the information your given doesn't always include every possible effect (I know it certainly failed to mention the attention issues during the most recent stage, and the blindness from before) 

But, despite last month being basically the worst month of my life, I have survived, albeit a little scrambled, and I'm slowly putting everything back together. And of course, now, there's nothing human left in me! I'm all slime!!! (It makes me so unbelievably happy to be able to say that now).

Interestingly, unlike everything else, my brain hasn't fully gone, instead I ended up with what I quickly realised is a slime core! For those unfamiliar, slimes can have a core, which is essentially like their brain/major organ inside them, usually looking like a small coloured sphere. While slimes are usually pretty hard to damage permanently, damage done to a slimes core can be very debilitating, like heart, brain, or lung damage for humans and stuff. 

I actually think I had a kind of proto-core before hand, but didn't notice it, and I think it came around about when my digestive system was changed, since I think my core manages matter-to-slime conversion (I'm guessing this ‘cause that's improved since my core has now fully formed). I guess I didn’t spy it before ‘cause it was too small or something?

On that note, my core is/looks like, interestingly, a kind of verdant green gem. It mostly just seems to float inside of my goo, although I can move it around my body wherever I like, but I tend to keep it either right in the middle of my torso, or in the middle of my chest (at least in human form). Both areas have a decent amount of goo protecting my core, and it looks neat to have it there. 

It does actually look really pretty, especially when taken outside of my body (don't worry, it can be taken out of my body, so long as it remains in contact with my goo I'm completely fine), and yeah, just kinda looks like a funky green stone/gem. I am curious as to why it's green, and I'm kinda hoping it's gonna boost the efficiency of my photosynthesis, and that it's green ‘cause of chlorophyll, but I don't honestly know yet, need some nice sunny days to properly test it out. 

I did find out that if my core does become separated from my goo, I can just reform another body from stored goo around the core, leaving the old body to fall (but I can just reabsorb it afterwards to maintain mass). Oh, and before anyone worries that I was being reckless, I made sure to check that I wouldn't die before I tested anything.

On the note of stored goo, it seems like excess goo/matter is stored in the core, like fat in humans. I'm not sure what or if there's a limit or what happens if I try to eat too much, but as far as I've gotten for now, it seems to be fine. I have noticed that I actually seem lighter now, I still seem to weigh about as much as I look like I should (maybe slightly over) and as such it changes if I make myself grow bigger, but not really if I eat things. I'm not entirely sure quite what's going on there, as that seems like some physics defying shit, but it's actually super useful, means I can store as much mass as I'd like and not break the sofa when I sit down. 

So asides from all of those experiences and changes, I've found a couple other things that have sprung up from these changes. Firstly, I've found that my body feels much more coherent, I'm very much now one gelatinous entity, rather than bits of one and bits of another. Movement feels much more fluid now, especially outside of a humanoid form (not that I've gotten worse at being humanoid, just better at everything else) and I honestly find myself kind of hot swapping between slime ball and slime girl as I need/feel like it. Also navigating crowds is super easy now, just kinda slipping and moving between any gaps (I could kinda do this before, but again, now it feels so second nature). On top of this, my multitasking seems to have improved. I still can’t say one thing while writing another, but I've gotten better at physical multitasking; I struggle less coordinating my ‘hands’ when I try playing the piano for example (I still can't play it, but I've got more of the coordination for it). Add in that I can very easily have several limbs/pseudopods/whatever you want to call them at once (which is honestly why I think my multitasking has improved, it's to facilitate control of the numerous structures I can now produce) and it’s become very easy to manage multiple, physical, tasks at once. 

One thing I have noticed myself doing, almost subconsciously (and honestly, this might've started a little before now, but I'll talk about it here, since I've really noticed it now), I'll just adjust my body however I need in the moment. Now, this may sound kind of obvious, but it's a little funky (but mostly neat) to just suddenly grow an extra limb, or pseudopod to hold or grab something quickly, or to just adjust my mass to better balance or manage something. Again, very neat, but a little funky to realise when I didn't consciously think about it. 

Relatedly, shaping has become easier, not sure if that's due to practise, or having a more compatible neurological centre, but I seem to be able to shape myself quicker, and I seem to have gained a better memory for shape too, the latter is definitely due to recent changes, or at least, definitely due to the treatment.

I've  also still been working on my acid control, which feels like it's gotten easier, but again I can't say whether that's from practice or the recent changes, but I can at least somewhat reliably keep an area of my body acid free now for a bit.

Unrelated to the treatment, but I'm actually much shorter now, at least in my humanoid form, clocking in at around 4’4”(slime ball form has remained the same size, at around 30cm tall). I always liked the idea of being really small, and I can now, and it's not like it really offers any disadvantages, since I can just reach tendrils up to grab things from high up (with eyes/vision so I can see what I'm doing), plus it means I have more spare slime to spend on other, more fun things than just being tall. This all being said, the idea of using all my slime to become really big also has its appeals, but it's less practical for day to day life. 

To touch on one final thing, I definitely don't feel human anymore. I'm a slime, through and through, humanity is just a memory. I've mentioned before feeling more and more detached from humanity (if I ever felt truly attached) as this process has gone on, but now that I'm seemingly done, I don't feel human at all. Interestingly, I find this aspect has been remarkably similar to gender transition, with the feeling of being a guy slowly fading away until it seemed alien to think of myself as one, which kinda feels like where I'm at at the moment. I'll likely catch myself still including myself in humanity from time to time for a while, but I can safely say I'm a slime, and I am so happy I can now. So that’s what my life has been for the last couple of months, and while parts sucked - like, really sucked - the end result is so unbelievably worth it. While this feels like the end of slime hrt, I do have an appointment planned with the doc to talk about my next step and hopefully get myself onto shapeshifter hrt, so my next update will probably be about that. See y’all then!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First - Prev - Next

Tag list below cut (lmk if you want to be added)

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog

@mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat