#There were much better ways to handle this and they just..... Didn't

[amlugon]

Even with politics aside, the full of depth love story Amanda wanted to write with Cait and Vi just didn't translate to me personally, because they didn't know eachother.

There's not a solid enough foundation there to justify Vi forgiving Cait's actions, that doesn't stem from Vi's attachment issues and poor self worth imo. They knew eachother a few weeks before splitting and Cait doing...all that. She helps her in act 1 out of guilt and not a love for Cait.

If it were intentional and a means to explore Vi's issues, fair enough, it would be interesting. But Vi feels sidelined it's apparently genuinely meant to be a compelling love story (way better than Mel and Jayce according to Amanda), so..? Each to their own! I just don't feel it beyond a desire to want queer rep, but there are examples out there that do much more for me. Maybe if they got some screen time being normal together before everything went wrong it would be different (assuming the politics was handled better as well)

[luvvyouforever]

saw your post about declan x reader x rupert and i can't stop thinking about them in their slutty little venturer tshirts ugh need to be sandwiched between them while they're bickering over who can make you feel better

ughhh the slutty venturer t-shirts! just for you anon <3

challengers - declan o'hara x reader x rupert campbell-black

synopsis: rupert believes he can make you feel better. declan disagrees and thinks he can. there's only one way to find out.

content: threesome (kinda?), afab reader, no m/m, rupert's got a thing for legs, no maud au so there's no infidelity, oral sex, handjob kinda, hickeys, praise, squirting

word count: 3k oops

author's note: this fic has been sitting in the drafts for a whileeeeeee. like before season 2 was even confirmed. enjoy! (ps i haven't watched challengers i just thought the title was fitting)

you think that maybe rupert and declan have forgotten about you sandwiched between them, but perhaps there were worse places to be than leaned against a doorframe, the heady scents of their cologne filling your nose.

"i just find it interesting that every time i come to look for our dear y/n, she's always right by your side, hmm?" rupert's posh accent echoed above you, his chest puffed.

"have you thought that she just prefers my company to yours, rupert?" declan's thick accent was so different to rupert's, but they mingled so well together. you briefly wondered how long you could still there still and quiet until they acknowledge your existence again.

"considering you're tipsy half of the day, i have reason to doubt that."

you would be standing there quietly for a long time.

it was painfully obvious to everyone, not just you, that rupert and declan harboured crushes for you. it had started when freddie managed to poach you from corinium to come work for venturer instead, and small gazes as you left turned into something you weren't even sure how to handle.

"you guys do know i'm standing here still...right?" you managed to slip out between the incessant firing off of insults.

their heads turned downwards, eyes meeting your own.

"of course, doll," declan said at the same time as rupert's, "could never forget you, sweetheart." they glared at each other, then returned to their attention to you.

it was a bit overwhelming, sure, but you held firm in your resolve to attempt to solve this issue. "i thought i could just let you both fight till you came up with a solution, but the plan has not worked evidently. and a girl can only take so much lustful staring and touches on the knee before she need something."

"i'm sorry if declan's made you uncomfortable, love," rupert said slyly, hand softly grazing your upper arm.

declan immediately lost the control he was exerting and faced rupert again with a loud scoff. "i'm making her uncomfortable? if anything, you are! who'd want a man that's slept with half the countryside giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

rupert couldn't help himself. "who'd want a man that hasn't slept with anyone in months giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

"oh, i'm sure i could make her feel much better than you ever could. just cause you're easy doesn't mean you're good."

with every word spat at each other, their shoulders squared and jaws clenched. if you didn't know any better, you'd keep watching the way their t-shirts flexed against their skin, swooning at the knowledge that it was you they were fighting over. but you had to do something.

it seemed crazy the second it popped into your brain. like something from one of those erotica books lizzie wrote. but the way rupert and declan were so naturally competitive, it might be the only way to solve this before they irreparably damaged the friendship they'd been building through venturer.

first you tried to clear your throat loudly which didn't work. they continued to mumble about their respective skills. then you tried saying their names. didn't work either. finally, with a huff of pure frustration, you grabbed each of them by the collars of their t-shirts and drug them further inside declan's home, effectively shutting the door behind you with your foot.

"jesus christ, you're like toddlers," you near-shouted. "you'd think a teacher told you that you have to share the toy the way you're arguing with each other. we have to solve this one way or another." you paused for a beat, letting the two men gather their composure. declan leaned against the kitchen counter, while rupert stood with his arms crossed. "i want you to listen to every word i have to say without speaking, okay? and when i am done, you are allowed to give me a response."

you waited for them to nod and once they did, you continued speaking.

"in full honesty, i can't choose between the two of you. you're both handsome and intelligent and i've enjoyed getting to know you. but i know you can't share. that would never work with the way you both square off like gorillas in a jungle," you said. your next words needed to be chose carefully. "however, i can't make a decision without test driving. so, we can settle this like adults in declan's bedroom, or i will walk out the door and forget that i ever found the two of you attractive in the first place."

true to their word, neither of them spoke until you gestured that you were done. declan was the first to speak up. "how long have you found me attractive, huh?"

"good lord," rupert whispered to himself, though both you and declan heard it clearly. "so when you mean settle this like adults..." he trailed off, posing a question for you to respond to.

"d'ya need her to spell it out for you?" declan asked, shoving himself off the kitchen counter. he sauntered towards you and his scent flooded your senses once again. his hand came to your lower back, dipping down just enough to graze your ass. "she wants us to prove which of us is better."

you let out a soft gasp, followed by a bite of your lip when his hand lifted then came back down on your ass, more harsh than a love tap, but clearly not as rough as he'd like to go.

declan chuckled. "think i'm already ahead of you."

"jesus, get in the bedroom already," rupert said, coming up behind you and replacing declan's hand with his own, pushing you towards the stairs.

the next few moments were a blur. before you knew it, your figure was posed on the middle of declan's bed, with declan and rupert waiting patiently at the foot.

"are there rules?" rupert asked.

you thought for a second. it was an impulsive plan, one you hadn't put much thought into. you shook your head. "nope. want you both to show me just how good you are since you're talking all that game."

declan and rupert looked at each other perhaps the most amiably the whole entire evening. while it was a competition, they seemed to have a silent agreement that your world would be forever changed after this.

declan moved first, his eyes already lowered and darkened with desire. having this view of you in his bed was driving him mad, pushing him to do that much better so he could always see you sprawled on the flannel sheets that smelled like him.

"can i take this off of you, love?" he asked quietly, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. you met his dark brown eyes and nodded, biting your lip as his hands deftly removed the fabric. you could hear the hitch in both his and rupert's breathing.

suddenly, rupert's frame was on your other side, fingers barely touching the skin on your side. "you're so beautiful," he said. though declan made the initial move, rupert took it one step further and brought his head down to offer you a sweet kiss on the lips. declan could've growled, but he knew you wanted to end the fighting. he had to just find his own way to touch you.

as rupert continued to expertly move his lips against yours, declan's own mouth met your neck and upper chest. he left hot, open-mouthed kisses on your delicate skin and you whimpered into rupert's mouth.

declan continued his ministrations as rupert pulled away and tugged off his venturer t-shirt, revealing his toned, tan body underneath. he then slid his belt from around his waist and threw it down onto declan's carpet. he took a few seconds to figure out his next plan of action and when he saw just how enamoured you were with declan's kisses, he opted for the same strategy.

rupert leaned down and started trailing his lips along your stomach, up to the edge of your bra, around the seam, then back down again. he was careful not to invade declan's space while also losing himself in the way your noises reverberated in his ears.

declan, too, rose from kneeling and took off his own shirt. you managed to open your eyes and the sight before you could've sent you reeling immediately. rupert was toned and muscular while declan was broad and, for the lack of a better word, big. in that moment, you considered yourself the luckiest girl on the planet.

your hands flew to declan as he leant back down, fingers roaming the broad expanse of his chest. desperate to have him kiss you on the lips this time, you moved your hand to his chin and tugged him towards you. he picked up the message easily and moved his lips against yours eagerly.

so far, you distinguished that declan and rupert had two distinct styles. declan was desperate and eager and ready to take you as his own. his kisses were passionate and you could tell from his touches that he was exerting a lot of restraint. rupert, on the other hand, was more calculated. his kisses started delicate, like he was teasing you, drawing you in, making you crave more. it would be a harder decision than you thought.

once he was satisfied with the trail of kisses along your body, rupert ducked down, fingers teasing the band of your pants. you looked up at you, somehow meeting your eyes past declan's head, and asked a silent question. you nodded as best as you could, then turned back to declan. as rupert's hands tugged down your pants, revealing your bare legs, your fingers tangled in declan's curls.

you had become so lost in declan's overpowering kiss that you let out a sudden gasp when rupert's mouth met your thighs. you could feel his breath against your legs, hands squeezing your flesh. you realized his weakness then as he groaned with every inch his mouth met.

eventually, you pulled away from declan, desperate for breath. he looked at you with a powerful look, one that you could hardly tear away from. you did, though, and gestured to his pants. "don't leave me alone here," you whispered. he smirked and stood to undo his belt, then tug his pants off.

as if his arousal was not already evident, the bulge barely concealed by his boxers revealed it tenfold. your eyes roamed his body and with a smirk, your hand reached out to his core. at the sudden contact, he groaned, no, growled.

you let out your own noise of surprise at rupert's hands meeting your own middle. your eyes flew to his and he met them confidently with his own smirk.

"she's so wet for us," rupert said, drawing declan's attention towards your center. both of their eyes didn't leave your face as declan's hand reached out to feel for himself.

"absolutely soaking, doll," he added.

"please," you pleaded, though you weren't sure what you were asking for.

"what do you need, love?" rupert asked sweetly. his fingers replaced declan's and they teased past the hem of your panties.

"what would you like us to show you?" declan asked. it was evil, the way they seemed to suddenly team up with the purpose of torturing you. it was as if every ounce of their fighting left once your body was available to them.

"y-your mouth, please," you squeaked out, cheeks flushed both from embarrassment and pure heat. "you first," you added, gesturing to declan.

"don't mind if i do, pretty girl," he said, moving to situate himself between your legs. rupert went to move, but he couldn't help himself but watch as declan slowly removed your panties. "fucking gorgeous."

rupert moved to your side again, one of his arms propping up his body by yours, the other snaking around and entangling his fingers in your hair. he came in close and you could smell the spearmint on his breath from the gum he chewed. "i don't think i could ever tell you enough how beautiful you are," he whispered.

had it not been for declan's mouth being dangerously close to your pussy, you would've reeled at his romantic words. you hoped that your shining eyes would convey your appreciation enough. he seemed to have gotten the message and smiled as his hands moved to wrap around your back and undo your bra.

once you were fully bare before them, rupert offered the same vulnerability, moving upwards to take his pants and boxers down.

"fuck," you choked out, both at the sight before you and at declan's tongue licking a long stripe up your core.

rupert smiled and returned to your side again. "like what you see?" he asked, fingers curling under your chin. you nodded enthusiastically, as it became difficult to form words from declan's ministrations between your legs. you couldn't do much else but reach towards rupert's body, hands exploring the muscular build of his chest and shoulders and torso and everywhere. he offered the same, soft hands teasing up your sides and breasts.

declan's mouth was beginning to draw you close to the edge. he was close to making out with your pussy, and you were positive both he and you were soaked. despite the slight burn coming from his thick mustache, your back arched from the bed ever so slightly, offering rupert more surface to explore.

everything came crashing on you all at once, though, as declan's finger slowly entered you, curling up to the spot that made you shut your eyes so tight you saw swirls of color. to add to the torture, rupert's mouth had wrapped around your nipple, tongue teasing and slow.

"fuck!" you shouted. "s-so good. so good, declan." your praise egged him on further and he added a second finger. his tongue didn't let up until your thighs squeezed around his head and you came around his fingers with barely intelligible groans of his name.

reluctantly, he pulled away, leaving your hole clenching around nothing. you were correct about him being soaked. he was a vision of pure sin, nothing else. it had to have been one of the sexiest sights you'd ever see in your life.

"think you can do better than that?" declan asked.

rupert released his mouth with a pop and smirked. "of course i can." ever the gentleman, though, he looked at you first. "ready for me now, love?"

despite your better judgement telling you to breathe first, you nodded eagerly. they switched spots then, declan moving to your side. before he got comfortable, though, he stripped off his own boxers. you whimpered. how could you have possibly gotten this lucky?

rupert situated himself between your thighs and instead of diving in immediately like declan, he teased you with his fingers first. it was torturous, but so methodical, like he wanted to play you like an instrument. for a second, you watched him with lust blown eyes, before averting your attention to declan's hard cock just before you.

you felt greedy receiving all the pleasure from the two men. you looked at declan with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster and he chuckled lightly at your pleading. he inched closer, getting comfortable at your side.

"all yours, darling," he said quietly. you bit your lip and outstretched your hand. declan groaned as your skin met his and he was sure that he had never been so needy for someone before.

rupert's mouth finally fully latched on to your clit and you gasped instantly. your hand continued to stroke declan and he leant down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. his breath tickled your ear and his moans were like music. down below you, rupert's mouth worked expertly on your pussy, which was an entirely different sensation than declan's sloppy, but deliciously overwhelming mouth.

your thighs squeezed around his head, but it only made him that much more eager to please you. his tongue moved up and down, then teased your entrance. your stomach squeezed with the feeling of another orgasm coming on quickly.

"fuck, rupert. please keep going," you moaned out, arching your hips into his face further.

declan could feel himself getting closer too, but he didn't want to finish then and spend time gaining back his energy. he gained the strength to pull your hand away from him and offered a sweet kiss to your palm instead. he craned his neck down to place more kisses on your neck, and once he found a spot that seemed to draw an extra whimper from you, he bit down and sucked.

your moans were surely loud enough to hear across the countryside. it didn't matter though with the way declan and rupert were lavishing endless attention on you. it was the best you were sure you had ever felt. that knot in your stomach only grew tighter and you weren't going to last long.

rupert wasn't letting up, though. in fact, he copied declan's move and slipped two fingers in, curling them upwards over and over. with every pull, that knot tightened and tightened. if he didn't pull away, you were sure you'd pass out. he didn't though.

declan's mouth continued to leave hickeys down your neck and suddenly, waves of pleasure overtook every part of your senses. before you knew it, rupert's chest and torso were soaked.

"had to be such an overachiever and make her squirt?" declan asked, releasing from your neck with a harsh bite. you were breathing heavily, attempting to come down from the intense high you had been feeling. declan and rupert bickered quietly, before realizing that your head had lulled against the pillow.

"seems like i won that one, huh?" rupert asked, moving up the bed again to caress the hairs that had stuck along your forehead.

"oh, please," declan said. his large palm met your cheek and you looked at him with eyes that made him fall only deeper for you. "we haven't even fucked the pretty girl yet."

[jweekgoji]

iLOVE your works 💗💗💗 a sequel to your most recent would be amazing…

maybe sentinel and starscream come at a close tie so they both get a special treat~…

Sentinel/Prime!Reader/Starscream [TFO]

tw: nsf//w (minors, don't read please), power imbalance, jealousy, competitive behavior, slight posessive behavior, master/subordinate relationships. word count: 1,4k additional tags: Prime!Reader, cybertronian!readr, gender-neutral!reader (but they have valve in this one), double valve penetration, valveplug, threesome, rivalry between Starscream and Sentinel, pre-TFO events, sub!reader, dom!Sentinel, dom!Starscream. a/n: I will forever not stop making sentinel the most pathetic one in this duo. thank you for your request~

Ever since that blessed day, you can't help, but thank Alchemist for the idea he once gave you.

There was no doubt that ever since you had confronted two of the most arrogant mechs you had ever seen in your entire life, you now finally had a chance to have some rest.

The only thing left to do was to lazily keep track of the score, watching as these two faithfully carried out your every slightest errand, eagerly awaiting their reward like faithful dogs.

'One point in Starscream's favor, two in Sentinel's favor...Six points for Starscream, five for Sentinel....'

All it took was to sit in your comfy office, minding your own business while your two assistants ran back and forth, handling your assignments.

Some of these were extremely important; some were just dusting at the bottom of the list, waiting in the dark for their time. Just for those types of occasions, sometimes it's nice to have someone like Starscream and Sentinel.

You could mark the one's success in your notes, and at the same minute, the other would burst in, immediately taking all of your attention away. Such a harmless competition, you didn't even specify what exactly you could offer them for their hard work, but the barely disguised implication in your tone left not that much room for guessing.

Until...

“Congratulations, you have an equal number of points,” you announced, an easy, almost perfect smile on your face, the one you always wear in public.

“There can't be-” Starscream begins, until he is interrupted by Sentinel.

“With all due respect, but there's definitely some kind of mistake here,” he gets in front of Starscream, an almost offended look on his face. Him? On equal score with Starscream? That sounds like a very personal insult.

The member of the high guard only huffs in frustration and shoves the blue-and-gold bot forcibly aside, almost pushing him down to the floor.

“You should do a recount. One has to be the winner,” the jet crosses his servos over his chassis, pede tapping lightly against the floor in a barely concealed display of anger.

“Someone like me, obviously,” Sentinel sneers, his servo settling down at the center of his chassis as if trying to emphasize the sincerity of his words. “I am your advisor, after all, no wonder I'm better at dealing with your errands.”

Your optics only flicker between Starscream and Sentinel, silently observing their conflict. You would probably laugh at this if you hadn't had to endure it for many, many cycles.

“There is no mistake here, my calculations are correct,” you say simply, placing your servos on the surface of your desk. “However, I am not satisfied with the quality of your work. You will still have a chance to...prove yourself, one last time.”

Who knew that your seemingly innocuous game, which was supposed to resolve what seemed to be...an inexhaustible conflict between your two subordinates, could lead to more than unexpected consequences?

You'd be lying if you said you didn't feel an ounce of pleasure in this arrangement.

“Can't you stop twitching for just one minute? You are getting in the way,” Starscream hissed softly, throwing a sharp glare in his rival's direction.

“It's not my fault you're taking up...ngh- so much space,” Sentinel groans, blue optics flickering slightly at the momentary shock of pleasure that runs along his spine.

Your poor, poor advisor can't help but let out another shameless moan as he barely thrusts forward, the tip of his spike pressing against Starscream's own, rooted deep inside you.

“If you have any protests, you can always leave,” the jet hummed. His servos tightened their hold on your thighs, spreading them further apart to make a room for two.

Sentinel's golden wings bristled at these words, and soon after, he leaned closer to you, only to start bickering with the other mech right behind your shoulder. Oh, the sheer audacity!

“Like I would,” Sentinel purred, almost in spite of the leader of the high guard. “As if I can trust you how to properly care for our dear Prime over here.”

That arrogant, self-centered bastard, how ironic— if only you weren't there, Starscream would have wiped that smirk off his faceplate this instant.

“Are you going to do something already?” you, once again, have to be between the two mechs, both literally and figuratively now. “I'll fall into recharge faster, unless one of you actually starts moving.”

That commanding, demanding voice of yours, the one you use to remind them that despite how intimate and vulnerable the position you all are in, you're still a Prime. Their leader.

Until you feel both of their spikes twitching inside you, a light blue blush spreads all over the cheek plates. Primus, help you with these two. You can't even boss around your own subordinates without them getting head over heels for you, and here you thought that would have a negative effect on them.

But are you really that surprised?

Starscream is first to assist your orders, as he bowed his head, close enough to plant a lingering kiss on your neck, teasing the sensitive surface. It's best to focus on your needs now, rather than that too pleased with himself advisor that keeps giving him challenging glances.

“I bet I can satisfy our Prime better than you do, Starscream,” words thrown so carelessly, only pushed the never-ending conflict back to the surface.

To keep his own words, Sentinel pushes his hips forward, igniting a soft gasp from you. Having both of them together inside you was certainly a new experience. If your humble advisor lacked the length that the high guard had, Sentinel had the girth, stretching your inner walls with every single slow thrust.

Starscream on the contrary, compensates for everything that Sentinel couldn't give; with the combination of a consistent feeling of fullness, his spike easily presses against a spot deep inside that makes you see stars.

“Like you ever satisfied them for once,” Starscream snapped back, the red optics dangerously glowing in the poorly lit quarters.

It takes time, at first, for both of them to finally find the pace that actually lets them move without bothering the other. One thrusts in, then pulls out, then for the other to do the same.

 How embarrassing, utterly disgusting, even, the both mechs keep thinking. Even such a short moment of pleasure and intimacy leaves Starscream mentally gagging at the feeling, with Sentinel having pretty much the same thoughts.

 Only briefly, for a short moment, they cooperate to push together in one time, both spikes rubbing against each other in the tightness of your valve.

 The looks of embarrassment and awkwardness are totally worth it, you believe; maybe that will teach them not to cross each other's paths anytime soon, instead of fighting over your attention like sparklings.

Frag, you hiss through gritted teeth; no matter how much they may annoy you with their constant quarrels, they're pretty damn good at working together, sometimes. Maybe you need to organize this more often, just to relax and have a break in their company, which is... a rarity.

The constant stimulation is almost too much to bear, thoughts are too hard to concentrate on, and you barely pay attention to them, as you faintly hear them insulting each other. Primus knows how much they had done it for today.

Finally, you reach for both of them, grasping Sentinel's chin with one servo, bringing him closer, while the other servo gently tilts Starscream's head down to meet your lips, releasing all the buildup of tension in a single, lengthy, hungry kiss.

 Sentinel can be heard practically whining at the sight, begging for the same lovely affection you just had to give his enemy right in front of him, only for you to kiss the needy advisor in return.

As your own overload approaches quickly, your optics begin to dim, and you can barely hold back anymore. That delicious tightening of your valve around the both spikes makes Starscream and Sentinel hold back, just in order not to overload from that sensation alone.

Slowly, you tilt Sentinel's chin slightly back, leaving your advisor panting heavily, glossa out, desperately trying to catch his own breath, and cool down the overheating frame. The soft huffs and puffs of Starscream don't go unnoticed by you, no matter how hard he tries to look all calm and collected behind you.

“I think...I need another round to sum up the scores.”

[ablogofloveandtrash]

Why was Diana so Reluctant to Open Up and Tell the Truth?

Returning from a previous post I had sent on this blog, I had theorized that Diana may have potentially gone through some experience in the past that has prevented her from being able to properly open up. I was rewatching the trial from chapter 1 and from what I could find on rewatch, is that Diana seemed to be particularly concerned about how others around her would react. And from three different lines of dialogue that I could find, is that Diana seems to be afraid of not being heard out or invalidated. Considering her bio states that she was in the popular crowds before the events of the game, it seems like Diana's fear came from the draw backs of being in the popular crowd. And in being part of the crowd, she would become much of the subject of conversation. She got so much attention on her, which may have caused her to become alienated or isolated in an emotional manner. In the screenshots I have provided, Diana has mentioned things like how others could twist her words around. Suggesting that she may have attempted to dispel or disprove untrue rumours about her. Which resulted in the aftermath not going her way and ultimately nothing was solved. The first screenshot details this aspect of her.

And because Diana must have failed to stop these rumours, this may explain why she often blames herself for not doing the 'right' thing or perceives herself as powerless. Because, Diana was caught up in an unfair situation. The rumours may have gotten so out of hand that Diana may have been cornered and forced herself to remain quiet. Complicit that these misconstrued words were true. She has likely accepted that at the time she couldn't change what others thought about her, and as much as Diana didn't like these rumours, she must have chosen to stop saying anything.

And this may have resulted in potential self isolation or some emotional blockage. As a means to avoid getting hurt by the people she cared about. For her own reasons, Diana seems to feel like telling the truth things would 'just get worse' in the following screen shot, the next sentence may allude to the case. But it does seem to be telling of what she feels about her self worth. She doesn't seem like her input is anything good. And that she would be better off staying quiet. Because she may have blamed herself for the rumours that occurred or worsened, because of her attempts to intervene.

It is possible that Diana could tell Damon about this particular issue in the story in Daily Life or from the Free Time Events, since Damon still needed to persuade Diana to explain her case. With some empathy, Damon may have used the right words to help Diana feel at ease to tell the truth. Assuring that he would listen and hear her out. Which may have not been something, Diana herself couldn't have had before the free time events or the trial. It's a stark contrast compared to the second free time event. Where he made his accusation of her being suspicious and making Diana uncomfortable with opening up. Though between the free time events and in the story, no one really truly knows why Diana is so afraid to open up, and be fully honest with others around her. In relation to a character like Damon, he is someone who is used to biting his tongue when others don't trust him or have something that would antagonize him. He doesn't open up to anyone because he percieves his vulnerabilities as an exploit. Yet in a similar vein, Diana too, cannot be vulnerable around others, out of fear that she would not be listened to. Potentially invalidated, unwanted or even abandoned. Possibly out of these fears she can't bring it in herself to lose her 'friends' again, and validates her helplessness by the end of the trial. The way Diana and Damon seem to handle their experiences past and present couldn't be anymore different from one another, yet they share an underlying similarity that sets up an interesting character dynamic. Damon acts more empathetic in response to her emotional distress. And in response to Damon's empathy, Diana was able to properly open up and have her voice heard in the court room. From this interaction it maybe possible that while tension between Diana and Damon will persist, ie: "I will follow in Wolfgang's Footsteps" (this maybe the source of Damon's anger in the end, not Diana's speech, exactly as many cut him out to be), it may fall on them growing closer that may allow them to become the better versions of each other. By helping each other out and setting their differences aside, for a greater common goal.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Kelly Severide x Reader x Matt Casey

Vibes based off Fix What You Didn't break by Nate Smith

Edit and request by @desimarie12

When you started at fifty one it was a temporary position. Someone to help out as a partner for Sylvie until someone permanent could be found. Matt and Kelly never knew they'd find the one person who could repair their hearts the day you came sweeping into the doors of the station house.

You were quiet at times you should be loud and loud when you should be quiet, unbearable at night because you barely slept, acted like you couldn't exist without music and drank more coffee than rescue squad combined. 

You could also talk everyone into a snowball fight at two in the morning. You made the best pancakes and somehow could guess everyone's favorite color within a few minutes of talking to them.  You picked up on people's moods and could figure out if they needed someone to vent to, help finding a solution or just a distraction from whatever was plaguing them at the moment.

The day Kelly started to fall was actually Shay’s birthday. You didn’t know what the day was or why everyone, including Matt, was even giving him such a wide berth. He’d locked himself in his quarters where he planned to stay until a call came in but then you came knocking. He hadn’t looked up the first time but you were nothing if not persistent.

When he finally stood and unlocked the door you walked past him and sat down on the edge of his desk “Do you want to talk about it?” he sat down in the chair about a foot from you and stared you down “About what exactly?” 

The smile you gave him was one you normally reserved for trying to calm patients but he could tell it was genuine nonetheless “Whatever it is that’s bothering you so much even Matt hasn’t hardly looked your way. Your shoulders and jaw are so tense my muscles are hurting looking at them and your eyes look so damn sad”

He didn't know what it was but staring into your eyes he couldn't keep that wall up no matter how hard he tried. He found himself telling you all about Shay. By the time he was done you were standing next to the chair with your arms around his shoulders and his head was leaned over on your stomach “I'm so sorry Kel. I can't imagine losing someone like that. I've never had anyone mean that much to me. Just remember those we love are never truly gone as long as we carry them in our hearts. Any time you want to talk about her, come and find me. I'll be glad to listen” 

He probably should've been embarrassed, falling apart like that. Not showing a stronger front but he couldn't find that emotion in himself. He felt better after talking to you, a little less broken. He had no idea how you managed to have that quality about you, a tornado of a thing but yet here you were calming those around you. The eye of the storm and helping to calm it down. 

“Thank you darlin” he whispered and saw a smirk slip onto your face “Darlin huh? Listen at you being all sweet. She must have been one hell of a woman to have that effect on you”

The day Matt started to fall was when all of you responded to a call with another station house. You were working triage as they bought victims out of a warehouse fire.

The way you handled yourself as you worked the tent was extraordinary. You were helping Sylvie along with the medics from the other house. Moving from patient to patient, offering them a kind smile and never showing any sign of exhaustion.

When he went in he could hear your voice across the radio, behind Chief Boden yelling at the other house's men. He had no clue what was going on so he and Kelly worked continuing to clear the floor they were on until Boden called for them to clear out.

When they made it out you were currently being held back by Cruz and Capp from arguing with the captain of the other house. “Woah. Why is my medic trying to kill you?” He asked and you stopped fighting to turn towards the sound of his voice “This asshole decided to tear a wall down when Boden told him not to and forced the flames back towards you and Severide. That's why the clear out had to be called”

He turned to the other captain “Why didn't you listen to my chief?” The other captain shrugged “You have to take risks every now and then Casey” then glanced towards Kelly “Ask your boyfriend. We all know his track record” 

“That's it!” You yelled and dove over Cruz’s shoulder and Matt barely caught you as Boden ordered the other captain off the scene.

He carried you over to the triage tent before sitting you down. You were still breathing heavy and glaring at the members of the other house “Assholes want to endanger my captain and lieutenant then act like it wasn't a big deal”

“Your captain and lieutenant?” He asked and you shrugged “Until Boden finds a permanent partner for Sylvie” a smile slipped onto his face “I don't know you're sounding like you belong here” and you grinned “Maybe I just have decided you two won't take care of yourselves so someone needs to”

Kelly and Matt stood in their kitchen across from each other at the counter, both silent drinking coffee. “Y/N's contract is up this month” Kelly broke the silence.

“We're not letting her leave are we?” Matt asked and Kelly shook his head “Not without an effort to get her to stay”

______________

The day they finally got up the nerve to ask you if there was any way you'd let the two of them take you out you surprised them with letting them know you were officially a permanent fixture of fifty one.

"What made you decide to stay?” Matt asked as the three of you walked by the waterfront. You looked between them then shrugged “Maybe I like my captain and lieutenant just a little bit”

You wouldn't let either of them get in their heads. If Matt pulled away from Kelly you were pulling him back and vice versa. If Benny came around making Kelly doubt himself you were there, reminding him how good of a man he truly was.

Neither of them knew what it was about you. Was it the fact that you were wild where they were calm and the calm where they were wild? Was it the fact that you could see through any facade they put up and pinpoint exactly what was going on in their heads at the moment? 

You were the light to lead them home no matter the storm and always shined bright. When you would curl up between them and make sure to be touching them both before falling asleep, when they'd find you the next morning wearing one of  their shirts and dancing around the kitchen while the coffee made. 

When they would see your eyes tracking them on a scene and how your shoulders relaxed when they walked out. When they would have their absolute worst days but then come home and you would curl up on the couch and ask them to watch a movie and that day would melt away?

Yeah. You didn't realize it but you saved them. With your love, your spirit and just the person you were. 

[mj-iza-writer]

Sp Special Containment Part 18

If you are new to this story or just need a reminder of how it is going, please use the hashtag Sp Special Containment to get caught up.

Whumpee leaned forward against the restraints so they could get better aim into the bucket.

They screamed as more puke came out.

"It is so hard... to throw up with these restraints", Whumpee complained.

"I know Whumpee", Caretaker looked at them sadly. They wished they could help more, "I'm sorry."

Whumpee was still in the medical wing.

They found it may not be food poisoning. More tests were running to see what was going on.

Whumpee was halfway through their IV at this point. They felt so gross now.

Whumpee was in a hospital bed designed for the weapons. The straps were just like how the wheelchair contained them. With the exception of their arms. They could be strapped in different positions for comfort and necessity. The bed could could also recline and be positioned in different ways depending on how the weapon wanted to rest or sit.

Whumpee sat up and leaned forward as much as the straps would allow. Caretaker held the bucket up for them for easy access.

Caretaker sighed as he wiped Whumpee's face again.

"I'm... sorry... Caretaker", Whumpee looked up weakly.

"It's not your fault. I'm sorry you're sick", Caretaker comforted, "let me get a new wash cloth for you."

Cass slid pass the guard, "still not feeling well?"

"No", Whumpee pouted, "I'm surprised I haven't puked my stomach out yet", they groaned.

The doctor came in behind Cass, "how's the patient? I just heard more throwing up."

"Is it possible to throw up organs.... because I think that's next to come up. I don't have anything else in me", Whumpee sighed.

"If it makes you feel better, we have found the culprit and cause", the doctor announced, "it's definitely food poisoning. Unfortunately, the kitchen staff had a new person prepping breakfast. They didn't pay attention to the dates on the packages. Expired food ended up in your breakfast."

"How does something like that happen? Their food is monitored so strictly. A new person shouldn't be handling food like that. At least not without supervision", Caretaker frowned, "this is not a good situation."

"I know. The Director is already aware and dealing with it", the doctor sighed, "on the positive side, this should only last a day or so, and I now know how to treat it. The negative side is that Whumpee is severally uncomfortable. We do not want to see any of our patients like this. Especially not the weapons, because of their survival mode possibly getting triggered."

Whumpee leaned into the bucket and gagged.

"I can't do.... do this anymore. It hurts too much to puke. Especially with the straps limiting my movements", Whumpee leaned back sorely.

"I understand. If Caretaker is okay with it, we can treat you while you're in your room", the doctor nodded, "I'd like to see you finish that IV first before you get moved back. At least so you're hydrated. Unfortunately, you can't take it with you because of the needle. You need to drink a lot of water, and there is a type of juice you can drink to help you with electrolytes and other good things that you are throwing up. You may need to come back tomorrow for another IV as well."

Whumpee nodded, " I am so tired."

"That is fine to have them back in their room. Just tell me what you'll need me to do for them", Caretaker stood, "they've had a long day, their room will be the best place for them."

Whumpee weakly fell into their bed.

"Thankyou for cleaning up in here... it smelt so bad", Whumpee frowned as Caretaker placed their puke bucket beside the bed, "I don't know if I have anything else to throw up."

"Cass and Andy cleaned it up for us", Caretaker smiled, "it definitely wasn't a good smell."

Whumpee looked around, "I never thought I'd miss this room so much, but I'm so happy to be in here again."

"I'm sure you are", Caretaker nodded.

"Okay, so remember what doctor said. You need to drink a lot of water to keep hydrated and this juice to help feel better", Caretaker placed Whumpee's drinks next to them, "doctor also said to get some rest. How about the guards play some soft music to help you fall asleep."

Caretaker pulled the blankets up for Whumpee and reached for their stuffie.

"I'm glad this didn't get dirty", Whumpee inspected it after Caretaker handed it to them, "I would have been really sad. It is the first comfort item I've had in a long time."

"Yes, I'm glad as well", Caretaker knelt beside the bed, "I will be around for another hour or so before I go to my room for the night. During the night, the doctor will have a nurse up here to help you in case you get sick again. I will tell you goodnight right before I'm off though... just like normal."

Whumpee nodded, eyes growing heavier, "could you please tell Aramais that I am okay. I know he was worried earlier."

"I will definitely let him know. I'll go tell him right now for you", Caretaker gently rubbed Whumpee's head and watched their eyes grow even heavier, "Goodnight Whumpee, get some rest."

Whumpee made a few small moans before they went completely out.

Caretaker waited quietly for a few minutes before signaling to the guards to buzz him out.

"Alright", Caretaker came around, "please let me know if there are any updates. Like I said a nurse will be up here to help with Whumpee through the night, but I can be called in as well."

Cass watched from the side, "I feel like I jinxed everyone this morning when I was hoping for more excitement."

"It's your fault", a guard turned with a grin.

"Sorry", Cass looked down with an embarrassed smile.

"It's the kitchen's fault", Caretaker frowned, "they need to pay more attention to what is going on. The weapons require strict diets for a reason", Caretaker sighed, "Whumpee hasn't eaten anything today because of this. The one meal they did eat was poison."

"They didn't even get any cookies today either", a guard frowned.

"I tried to give them some earlier. They had no interest", Caretaker pulled a bag from their pocket, "you know they're sick when they don't want any cookies."

"Well, I am going to let Aramais know that Whumpee is okay", Caretaker started for the door, "Cass I'm sure not much else is going to happen tonight. I hope at least. If you want to, you can go see how Mitch is doing. It will be lights out pretty soon for everyone. You're not use to the evening rounds. If you need help, you can message me, I'll be happy to help you."

"Yes sir, thankyou for training me today", Cass grinned, "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. I hope you learned the second lesson..", Caretaker watched Cass's questioning gaze, "don't hope for action. You will absolutely jinx yourself, and have a hectic day."

"I definitely learned that", Cass nodded.

Aramais looked up when the buzzer went off.

"Oh, Caretaker! Um, sorry", Aramais lifted his blanket to cover his chest.

"No, no, you're fine", Caretaker entered fully and closed the door, "sorry to bother you, I know you're getting ready for bed."

Aramais nodded, "how's Whumpee?"

"That's why I'm here. Whumpee wanted me to let you know they were back in their room and doing alright. It was food poisoning from breakfast. Unfortunately, the kitchen staff wasn't paying attention and let something get pass them", Caretaker took a seat, "they will probably be down for a few days, but not too long. The doctor is watching them closely, and they have a nurse who will stay nearby for tonight."

Aramais looked down, "I'm so thankful that they're okay. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Whumpee and Jaimie."

"Even when you get purple nurpled", Caretaker grinned and eyed Aramais's chest.

"Even then", Aramais laughed lightly as they looked down to where Caretaker was looking.

"I know you are self-conscious about the scars on your chest and back, and I won't ask about it, though I will happily listen if you want to share the story", Caretaker looked back up to look at Aramais's face, "don't ever be embarrassed or ashamed by something that happened to you in the past. No one in this facility will see you as weak for having those."

Aramais nodded, "I was, uhm", Aramais looked down again, "I was captured on one of my missions. My partner had gotten out and abandoned me for dead. Which was normal. We believed in fend for yourself, even when partnered with someone else. I was held prisoner and subjected to torture for months before I was able to escape."

Aramais sighed, "once I was out I had no where to go so I staggered all of the way back to the organization. Which looking back was a stupid choice, but I was young still", Aramais paused to control his shaking, "I thought I would receive some sort of comfort for what I had gone through... I didn't. I was subjected to rigorous questioning to make sure I hadn't become a traitor. After that, I was used as an example to the others. I was told that I should have killed myself. That would have been the best way to honor the organization."

Aramais moved the blanket to let Caretaker get a better look at the damage.

"They called them traitor markings. I was told to wear them shamefully", Aramais sighed, "to remember and remind others not to mess up. Even though I wasn't a traitor."

Caretaker sighed, then stood and walked to Aramais's bed, "the more I learn about you weapons, the harder I want to work to make all of you more comfortable. I want to work to protect you three so much."

Aramais smiled, "I can promise you. At least speaking for Jaimie, Whumpee, and myself. We feel the love and care you all give us, and we appreciate it. Even if it was half of what all of you do for us, it's would be appreciated more than you know."

Caretaker reached down and patted Aramais on the shoulder, "we are always happy to take care of you all. I'm just sorry for what all of you went through. I wish I could take it all away and let you three have normal lives."

Aramais smiled, "it's okay... I'm just glad I'm here now. I wouldn't have been able to meet all of you had I been given a normal life."

"Caretaker, I apologize the lights are about to dim" a guard came over the radio.

"I need to be going anyways. Aramais needs some sleep", Caretaker started to the door.

"Thankyou Caretaker", Aramais smiled, "I really appreciate you and all you do. You always know the right things to say."

Caretaker turned and smiled, "you're welcome Aramais. Have a good night."

"You too" Aramais watched them leave, then laid back down.

Caretaker watched Mcgee step out from Jaimie's monitor room.

They waved when they looked up and Caretaker waved back.

Caretaker wandered down a few halls in deep thought over the weapons. They were even able to watch Cass exit the facility to go home.

"They have so much promise", Caretaker whispered, "I just hope they don't get hurt doing this job."

Caretaker stretched tiredly, "well, you old man, I think it's time for bed. You may be getting a little to old for this now, but Whumpee still needs you. Retirement was never an option anyways I guess. Let's get to bed."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath

@porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst

@generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened

@freefallingup13 @cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet

@whumpbump @skittles-the-whumpee

@expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson

@legendarydelusiongoatee @candleshopmenace

@whumpanthems @ivymyers @starfields08000

@a-living-canvas @lumpofsand

@watermeezer @indigoviolet311

@whumpy-mountains @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @castiels-favorite-hunter

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter

@blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @mylifeisonthebookshelf

@thenormalestever @whatwhump

@galatic-worm @starmoon-constellation

@bacillusinfection @whumpsandbumps

@tobiasbones @octopus-reactivated

@string-of-broken-hearts @weirdthingweee

Taglist for SP Special Containment

@written-by-jayy

@snakebites-and-ink

@makemake22

@gr33nhour

[chronurgy]

Experiencing the world's fucking weirdest work situation atm. Like genuinely what the fuck. I can't even really post about it because it's too identifying but know I am going through it™

[welcometogrouchland]

I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)

[bitchfitch]

tbh I'm never going to stop being mad about the Manx syndrome that makes Manx cats manxes. It's an easily, Visually identifiable trait that causes the afflicted animal life long discomfort and mobility issues so severe many need specialized care and equipment to give them a normal life. And that isnt even taking into account how many die as kittens or who need to be put down because they'll never have the minimum quality of life needed to subject them to their difficulties.

there's 2 genes that can cause shortened tails/no tail in cats and while it's debatable how ethical the other one is, due to how important tails are for cat communication, the bobtail Gene is at least not devastating to the animals welfare. Unlike Manx syndrome it just causes the kittens to be born with fewer tail vertebrae. All the other vertebrae are unaffected.

Manx syndrome, in the more severe cases, which to be clear are the breed standard and are considered Desirable, cause the back half of the spine to fail to form correctly. This causes the cats to "hop like bunnies" bc their hind legs are partially paralyzed. they have severe nerve issues bc their spinal cord isn't fully encased in bone like it should be. The paralysis effects their guts too, making many of them incontinent or unable to relieve themselves properly. which leads to chronic UTIs and them needing frequent baths. which, they are cats, they do not like baths.

The main defense of the continued intentional breeding of manxes is that it is a naturally occurring mutation, as in its a landrace breed that initially happened on its own in the feral cat population on the island of mann. "if they were able to survive and reproduce under those conditions then surely it's ok" type of argument. A dominant trait spreading through a feral cat population on a small island that has no predators and plenty of small animal prey to eat, is not a defense. it's the law of large numbers.

[ficoandleo]

[Please convince your violent husband to use the sensory deprivation tanks at Darkwick General instead of committing crimes against his own body. I've already wrangled permissions for him to use them freely, he just needs to show up.]

@ask-doctor-isami

He starts to type 'He's not my husband' but concludes that it's besides the point and a waste of time to say. He knows who he means.

He hasn't done anything abnormally dangerous since then, but if I think he's acting strange again I'll see what I can do

Not that that BTH listens to me. But he might consider it more if I suggest it

On the other hand the more I think about it the more I don't know if leaving him alone with nothing but his thoughts is a good idea

He flies off the handle at random. He might just feel worse in there

Maybe he'll tell me why he doesn't like the idea at least

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Shout out to the guy who read:

"I keep trying to warn you where this will lead.

It isn't about what I want or what I think should happen, I'm not endorsing anything, let's be clear, it's about what will happen, really, it's about human nature.

This isn't about what's moral, or what's reasonable, or what you think you can stoke a divisive culture war against, it isn't about my opinion, I did not invent the nature of need, it's about what people have always done when faced with no good options, guns in their hands and staring up at the people sentencing them to suffering and death."

Interpreted it as me saying "gun violence is the appropriate solution" and then threatened me with gun violence for saying it was the solution...

And then deleted his reblog when I pointed out his lack of reading comprehension and blocked him.

Leave alone that he is exactly the kind of disillusioned right wing supporting gun toting reactionary who I was trying to point out will be the ones actually enacting the gun violence [not so much the staunch leftists who believe in the value of human life]... As has actually already been proven at least 3 times now.

I'd like to remind him that I do report people for threats of physical violence and for harassment.

And I'd like to recommend stepping away from the internet and having a nice hot bath or something every time he feels the need to try to make a nasty comment... Before he makes an ass of himself again.

I'd also like to reiterate that I am not endorsing gun violence, I am merely pointing out that this will continue to happen if we stay on this trajectory, and you can't reasonably expect another outcome.

Look at history's example.

You are fucking so deeply with human rights and everyone being able to meet their basic needs that the angry incels who used to be taking aim at women and students, are the exact group who are now looking angrily up at billionaires and politicians, having finally seen who they should be mad at [not an endorsement of them seeing gun violence as the solution], and wow I bet THEY -the largely rich white men who are 'calling the shots'- don't like it when the guns are being aimed at them instead of the women and children they can usually scapegoat...

Maybe try not to literally threaten to shoot the messenger?

I mean, I can also predict that suddenly gun reform will start to seem okay or be dropped as a main talking point by the political right once enough billionaires, CEOs, and politicians are shot/shot at... That's just me pointing out what's a near inevitability... Not me exerting some power to try to make it happen. [I have none]

I'm not the one with the gun, and I'm not the one stripping people of their basic human rights or denying their needs for survival. I have no power to tell people what to do and I have about as much influence as your average tumblr shit-poster at best. That is in fact the MOST power I have in any facet of my life. I'm just telling you what I see happening. If you think lashing out at me solves anything, you are misdirecting that energy, buddy.

[q-uuestion]

The character arc lore could have had

[medicinemane]

At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me

I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to

Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head

[moe-broey]

Alfonse: "Promise me you won't leave us. Without warning me, first."

Moe:

[tragicclownwrites]

🤡

[britneyshakespeare]

Sorry I can't stop talking about that ex-mutual who went off on me last night (well really I only made that one, really long and rambly, pretty over-repetitive post about it) but it's been like just running through my mind because of how hurtful that was from someone that on some level I did consider a friend. Not like a close friend who knows everything about me, in fact as I stated to exhaustion in that post I made earlier, the part that really got me was how much they were illustrating that they DON'T really know about me, how much they just ASSUME without ever having heard or seen confirmation from myself. And how unkind those assumptions were. But I did like them (do? I still have sympathy for them as a person and don't wish them any ill...). I cherished the thought of our online friendship we shared around the time I was 18-20ish or so, and even if we never kept in constant conversation (in fact, before I replied to their message last night, we hadn't chatted through DM since early 2021, if that's saying something). I'm sure they still did/do feel that way about me and this isn't easy on them, that they feel hurt by my posts in some way, etc. I did not go on a rant to them, though, attacking their moral character, calling them a coward who can't take criticism and refuses to learn and grow. I told them I think it's ok if we grow apart and though I still hold my differing opinions from them, it's ok to be upset at me for that. But don't bring it to me.

I would've seriously just preferred it if they unfollowed and left. All I keep thinking about these past couple of hours of marinating on it is: entitlement. I've crossed a line because I don't post about issues in the way they would like me to, and ultimately I still will be voting for Kamala Harris. They maintained that much very firmly even after I replied to their first message saying that they were putting a bunch of words in my mouth and not acknowledging how little they actually know about my views and actions in the real world, off of Tumblr; that I might have ways of caring about and engaging with things that are specifically not on my personal blog because of how toxic some zealous communities on this website can grow to be. They still felt the need to attack me at length for all the things I, in their opinion, "support" because I choose to vote for "a fascist" (meaning Harris). Their opinion that both sides are truly the same is the only logical answer and I'm not trying hard enough to be a good person if I don't agree with that. But that's what makes them presumptuous. That's not what makes them entitled.

I feel like the fact that they really did think well of me at one point, that we shared emotions and kind words with each other, that we talked about music and poetry and all sorts of matters of sensibility together, is why they felt the need to bring that to me. When we feel an attachment to someone, even someone we may be lacking a lot of information about, but there's that mutual sympathy there... we feel that we are invested in them. They (and I) felt that the two of us, as friends, reflected each other's values and sense of self. To be honest I was getting annoyed at some of their posts, too, that were basically fatalist about the US Democratic party and how nothing has ever actually changed since Tr mp left office. I simply don't agree with that analysis, and I didn't know how to sensitively bring that up with someone who I did respect and care for as an individual. They were asserting things that basically implied our views were irreconcilable; and yeah, I basically agree that if you're going to call me essentially a g n cide apologist, I don't really know how to reconcile that with you. I don't think that's what I am; they do. They discussed that because they felt that way they were no longer open to a dialogue (one which I never had brought up to them personally) in their reply to my response to their ask, and blocked me afterward. Well, I think it's ok to not be open to a dialogue. In that case, I really don't know how to defend myself. We're on two entirely different levels of interpretation if mild support of Kamala Harris's presidential campaign is seen as akin to me denying g n cide to you. If that's the angle you're approaching me with, I don't want to have a dialogue with you, either. I don't think one in good faith is possible at that point.

They got angry at me though not just for my differing opinion, but for the disappointment they felt in me for it. I ruined the Diana they had so much respect for. Their initial message reminded me so much of when fans hound celebrities to speak on particular issues they may not know anything about. But at least if you're, like, asking the lead singer of your favorite band to speak about a currently topical issue, you probably are falling back on the argument of thinking they have a higher status to their audience that they're neglecting to use for good. Or maybe they've seemed to do and say things in the past that make their current silence seem hypocritical. I don't particularly agree with the former argument, that every celebrity should use their "platform" to raise awareness for certain causes. There are some times when I think calling on a celebrity to speak on this or that specific thing is just kind of silly. I tend not to proclaim instances where I feel that way publicly, because I don't want to trivialize the issue or the fans' feelings. But there's also the parasocial hurt I've seen some people display when they suddenly interpret a person's silence, or (in their perception) 'inadequate' statements and actions, as genuine indifference. That tends to make fans actually angry, the disappointment that this person they admire could be 'doing better' but isn't. I was told by this person that I'm 'not even trying to do better' when we had never had a conversation about what I'm actually 'doing' or thinking or feeling, even a single time. They let their impression of me fester in silent resentment before finally snapping at me about all the things I never actually said to them.

I'm sure they felt like they had reached their limit of tolerating me, and reaching out was only so they could feel like they had some closure. That they had said their piece to a person they cared about but could no longer associate with. I don't think they actually considered what use their message would actually have to me. That it would be hurtful to be accused of all these moral failings by someone I used to just talk about Jane Austen books with. Someone I shared my poetry and feelings with when I was younger. They must have been feeling 'betrayed' at me for not living up to the expectations and standards they set for me, for not being the idealized friend that I must've seemed when we were in our late teen years. But I am feeling shock and confusion at the sudden void of sympathy or benefit of the doubt being directed towards me from someone I once mutually regarded somewhat highly and rather affectionately.

It didn't have to have been a deep friendship, where we shared all aspects of our life with each other, for this to be hurtful to me or for my words to have been hurtful to them. I'm sure they felt so angry at me because they do think I'm a smart and sympathetic person that they expect 'better' from. But I'm really not your confirmation bias friend. None of the sweet but somewhat shallow memories they once respected me for has to be null and void now because I'm not sufficiently radical in my politics for them. And again, I do think that they were under the impression that they knew my current thoughts and personal philosophies a lot better than they do, because of how much more of an open book I used to be on this website when we first started following each other. I never made some announcement that I was going to start being more reserved about certain things, guys, so, like, don't act like you know everything about me. Because should I have to? I don't have a "platform" or really any meaningful social status on this website. But they still thought I wasn't doing "enough" with it because they interpret my blog as being more intrinsically linked to my actual life than it is. My social status to them was the good opinion they had of me, that I soiled by disagreeing with them in principle about electoral politics.

I'm not less smart or kind than I used to be. That's really not how I make sense of people I mostly like, but who have done or said something I deplore and that disappoints me deeply. You don't have to abandon all faith in the individuals you love. People do not always make sense with your own moral compass, but you can still tell when they're not evil. And I don't think they think I'm evil. I don't think they're evil. None of the sympathy I ever had for them is gone. I'm just honestly hurt and confused. I don't understand why they thought it was appropriate to take up their issues with me in the way that they did.

And again, in every single timeline, I would rather have just been disappointed to see that a once-respected mutual has unfollowed me, after some years of growing apart and changing, than I would to be hurt by someone dramatically going off on me about how they can't be friends with me anymore because I'm just not good enough for them.