#Then why aren't you writing it like that from the get go??
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yeah sure, because y'all never used the free tool that mimicks human dialogue because instead of talking to a Human Being or using google.
googling "how to do groceries" isn't going to give you any productive results, your parents aren't always gonna be available to baby you or they might have never been there for you, and yeah some people are not good at preplanning this shit when they also have a full time job and have to pay bills and take care of a million other stuff, asking chatGPT how to manage groceries is better than surviving on instant ramen and takeaway (like how boomers used to make fun of college-aged millennials)
sometimes you have no clue where to start searching for a topic, so you either make a post on social media asking complete strangers for guidance (hence the Reddit forums) then double check it to make sure you didn't get answers from an idiot, orrrr you use the Free Tool that might have some sort of information on it and then double check it to make sure it didn't hallucinate.
have trouble summarising shit? I used to have a friend who was better at writing than me while I understood the materials of the lesson better, so we covered each others' weaknesses whenever we studied together, I'd help them learn and they helped me summarise (not exactly, and we didn't study a lot together, but kinda). I may have failed creative writing but I did pass my physics exams.
use... a fucking calculator.... why do you need a language model to be a calculator.....
chatGPT is free and it's convenient especially if you don't have friends and if a search engine has trouble giving you results. is it still a fucking language model that's pushed everywhere and is a massive problem? yeah. should you avoid it? absolutely. but it's also inevitably helping all these people, as long as they don't over-rely on it and learn to develop their skills, its not harming anyone.
we dreamt for years about personal assistants and intelligent robots. Siri was always meant to be AI powered eventually, all of these futuristic movies where they ask the computer to do something and it answers like a person is AI, this is the direction people wanted to go towards for DECADES, and now you're surprised it helps people with little things that they probably could've done on their own? it's its entire point of existing!
the problem with chatGPT is that it's used to replace people in the ART FIELDS where HUMAN CREATIVITY is key, used to replace HUMAN CONNECTION with apps like character.ai when it CAN'T ACTUALLY FEEL, and that it's being presented as a DATABASE that knows FACTS when it DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER "I don't know" or provide proper sources for what it "knows". that and the fact it was illegally trained on data that - while public - was still owned by hundreds of thousands of people.
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Mel and Jayce Deserved Much Better
After experiencing horrors and walking through valleys and shadows, I truly hoped Mel would break down this season and unleash her emotions. Especially since she spent the entire season unlearning hardness with Jayce being so openly affectionate and emotional. This final act was honestly a slap in the face.
The one person she hoped would offer her that safety net to do this completely shuts her down. Mel was always cognizant of his feelings, constantly looking out for him, advising him, and teaching him. She shared with him her deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities. I can understand if Mel and Jayce are both going their separate ways because of the Noxus plot but to have him be this cold, and distant, and show a lack of understanding toward her plight is bizarre.
Mel comes back with a changed appearance and a different demeanor, and he doesn't even ask what happened. He seems to not care. Jayce isn't even giving her a chance to explain herself and just keeps coming at her and you can see the moment when Mel puts all her walls back up. Don't even get me started on the fact that he held the hammer in his hand for most of the time.
Their interactions during this act paint Jayce as one large hypocrite. He benefitted from all of Mel's teachings, from her providing comfort and affection, to her investments in Hextech. Asking her why she didn't save Viktor like she had something against him was wild.
This is the same Mel who offered comfort to Jayce when Viktor was severely injured during the explosion. The same Mel who immediately understood why Jayce left after their night together, recognized the importance of Viktor to Jayce.
If Mel could protect everybody in that room, she would. When she explains her lack of awareness of her abilities to him, he just keeps going on and on.
And the apology with the "passenger" line was just bad. It lacked a certain level of remorse that I would expect from Jayce of all people. Where is that good-hearted man who could tell when people aren't feeling their best, that person who always wanted to help people and make their lives better?
I think the Survivor Jayce is not the Jayce that Mel fell in love with, this is another man. The Jayce she fell in love with died at the bottom of that cave. The survivor Jayce is Viktor's passenger.
Jayce abandoned not just Mel but also his mother who protected him many times to be with Viktor in the afterlife?? In what universe is Jayce pulling that shit?
Now Mel's heading off to Noxus. A nation that doesn't align with her values and morals and would most likely have to harden herself to rule or have influence there. I hate it all. I hate that Black women always have to be strong. We actually had an opportunity to see a Black woman who grew up in that environment slowly shed those walls with a man who actually loved her and was openly affectionate and vulnerable. I'm so sad that it was taken from us. I'm sick and tired of the strong Black woman trope.
With how mischaracterized her motives and actions towards Jayce are, I for one cannot say that I'm excited for a spin-off series with Mel as a main character. Not with this writing team and this fandom.
To me, this show ended in season 1 with Zaun becoming independent, Jinx not firing the rocket, and Mel and Jayce growing together as individuals and as a couple.
#Mel Medarda#Jayce Talis#MelJay#Mel x Jayce#arcane#Let Black women be in love#I'm tired of the strong Black woman trope
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I DID IT
I AM CAUGHT UP ON THE HANDMAID'S TALE
EVEN THOUGH ALL OF SEASON 5 WAS A SLOG TO GET THROUGH
my god. I've never done so much Not Caring about a TV show as this past season. the story feels like it's just dragging on and on past a reasonable stopping point- June getting to Canada -especially since they said they're still adapting The Testaments next as of this past February
also the attempts by Lawrence to justify Gilead as "using religious zealots to save humanity" seems like a weird both-sides-ism that I've been worried about since the first mention of Gilead cutting their carbon emissions back in the earlier seasons of the show
for context, book!Gilead is lucky they lasted even the 20-ish years they're implied to have in the afterword of TT. they're climate change deniers, nobody ever has enough of anything- even the children of the Commanders, as the Hannah character of the books grows up, circulate the same clothing and toys amongst themselves and eat synthetic dairy products instead of the real deal -power cuts are frequent, Commanders' houses have guards everywhere because children being "kidnapped" by resistance members trying to get them out of Gilead is common, they're sending missionaries abroad to frantically proselytize because they're running out of fertile young women due to escapes and executions, and frankly everything holds together about as well as you'd expect for a wildly irrational dystopia that doesn't care about facts or logic
the show transforms them into a society with human rights abuses galore, but no other real issues. scarcity is hinted at a few times but never actually appears to impact characters' lives. everyone has beautifully-fitted matching outfits; you never see clothes being passed on to anyone else when someone no longer needs them. no major food groups seem to be lacking. and hey, they fixed climate change so well that Boston now sees Toronto-level snow every winter! (because that's...definitely how that works!)
maybe the showrunners felt that they needed to create a reason why anyone who wasn't a zealot would go along with Gilead, but they took out the main reason from the books: certain anti-porn feminists making a devil's bargain with the religious right, the whole phenomenon of the 1980s that made Atwood write the book to begin with
there aren't supposed to be Aspects In Which Gilead Is Good Actually. it's a dystopia. it's a commentary on negative aspects of our society. it doesn't have to be positive in any capacity
the show is really good at a lot of things- I especially liked the choice to make June decidedly Christian, even though it was probably made more to avoid criticism of the show as anti-Christian than to add character depth
but just like the last time I tried to watch it, I found myself getting less and less invested as the seasons went on
we'll see how the sixth and final season goes for me, I guess
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I have been feeling weird these days. Frankly, just not great. Pretty bad. I have been belittling myself, trying to hide and disappear. What has helped me? Going for a walk by myself. Listening to an audiobook and realizing there are things that I enjoy doing and that make the time pass. Belasting music through my earplugs while in the bathroom, and looking in the mirror as I start to move my body and dance. Write with myself; so pure and vulnerable. So understanding and loving towards myself. I felt like myself again. I reflected on a drawing, where I added a text. I realized that I was, or am, trapped. I try to disappear, trying to hide from everyone. Hoping to protect myself from dissapointing people and being too much. From them leaving, or realizing they no longer love me. Then I went on to mention how lonely it is here, isolating me and who I am, while there is someone out there who does love me for me. It then turned into wondering why I am here. And why these leaves, in which I tried to disappear, are so heavy. I realize that I am no longer wanting to hide. Rather, I am trapped. Trapped into my own hideaway. Where the leaves are no longer lovingly embracing me, they are cutting into my skin. Reflecting helped me realize it, and realize I want to get out. And I have the power to do so.
Frankly, I want to be like in the gif every single day. I also honestly know that I could. I can find casual magic in everything. I can be so passionate about life and everything it has to offer. That feels like the true me. The one who experiences it all, and is grateful for it. Sure, the other parts of me are also me. But I feel my best when I am I that mood. The mood from the gif. My boyfriend is out right now, volleyballing until the very early hours. His roommate is also not home. It is just me, and gash. I am excited. I have already listened to music and danced, but I also ate too much and feel very full right now. Either way.. it is scary to be so me. To be so vulnerable and truly myself in front of someone. I know I can do it. I acted this way during our vacation. Why is it so hard to just be myself? To trust someone enough to be my true self? It's a safe space, babygirl. Sure, sometimes it hurts in this place. But don't you dare pull back because of it. I mean, to be fair, how could anyone ever do anything but smile when they see someone living life like that? What do I expect? The worst that could happen is that someone finds it interesting how you can enjoy and aren't ashamed in public. BUTO BE FAIR EH? WHHHHHYY IS IT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF? I fucking LOVE people who enjoy like that. I wish I could be surrounded by them. So baby, if the people around you aren't like that, okay and??? Be like that for yourself. He doesn't show his emotions the way you do? Okay and??? Let him experience his emotions the way he wants to. He can honestly count himself blessed to be with a person who can enjoy life so fully. Please, love this part of yourself. Well, you already do. But do it without shame. Do it proudly. Embrace it, truly. You have been taking everything for granted. It's time to be grateful, and be so without any doubt. Please, enjoy life the way you were meant to. Learn to be yourself, the way you are yourself when you are alone. He might not vibe on the same level, but that doesn't mean you should dim your own light. Yoyoyo, please learn to be yourself. Your silly, cute, life-enjoying self. I love the way you are , babygirl. So will he. And if he doesn't, that's big time his loss. Though, I'm pretty sure he loves this part of you, too. I know you love this part of you, so show off that you love her. She is yours. Show your love off by letting her out, the way you'd want someone to love this part of you. She deserves to come out and enjoy life with you. Whoever else is around. She feels safe with you. Please let her feel safe around him, too. He'd embrace her the way she wants to be embraced. Just like on our vacation. That you can still come out during the daily life without any judgement, you know?
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honestly thinking about the sonadow twitter takeover and how the plummeting to earth thing very much affected Sonic a lot more than it affected Shadow. like in a previous takeover Shadow even made it a positive memory about Sonic trying to save him.
Meanwhile in Prime, Sonic has a moment of saving Shadow from falling into the void that's very reminiscent of that other fall (in the same way Prime has a lot of motivations and references that only make sense from a fandom insider perspective).
Sonic also gets repeatedly tilted, loud and anxious, (which I'm pinning more on RCS's/whatever writer's sense of humor, as is all the voice acting gags) and is coping badly any time Shadow comes out ahead. I think Sonic's insistence on his ability to grow chest fur is as big a Cope as floaties=fashion statement.
But really, Sonic's repeat date suggestions and Shadow's own descriptions of Sonic's behavior (dragging out their races, etc "just to annoy me") reads, whether romantically or platonically, that Sonic just really wants to spend time with Shadow.
He feels he needs to justify it, though, insisting that he and Shadow have something other than occasionally getting in each other's way ("two sides of the same coin") (friendly competition being "why you keep me around-" seemed like odd wording to me).
Needing to make it meaningful, because that's what Shadow wants out of a relationship- Shadow /says/ he dislikes Sonic for being frivolous and inauthentic, that (for instance) his hugs don't mean anything, and that he doesn't want "(Sonic's) kind of hug."
Sonic really wants to spend time with Shadow because he's also intimately aware that that time is limited. Either Shadow's patience (and/or social battery) is limited and he's liable to make a batman exit if he doesn't want to be somewhere (not that we've ever seen Shadow do this in canon, he seems to awkwardly/quietly hang around as if he doesn't realize he can just hit the bricks (or he likes being there and has no idea how to express it re: smiling at Big the Cat) ), Or Sonic and Shadow will get caught up in their own lives again and not see each other until Fate Deigns to Allow Them to Cross Paths Once More.
And Sonic misses him.
(This ties in with my Sonic Frontiers is the Saddest Game Ever posting from a while back, too. Sonic is lonely AF and Needs Other People to Talk To or he'll start talking to the walls and robots, and Shadow will almost always either talk back or groan in exasperation, which is as good a reaction as any.)
All this, plus Sonic's opinion flip-flops (shopping with Amy vs shopping with Shadow, opinion on Orbot) could be either (Sonadow Optimist) Sonic is Down Bad and not even conscious of his mirroring Shadow/trying to appeal to Shadow, or (Sonadow/overall Pessimist) Sonic trying to appeal to the Most Popular Character Right Now and getting increasingly desperate as he is rebuffed.
A few of these Twitter Takeovers have had moments of Sonic in particular getting thrown off and not really able to recover. (which makes me question what the writing is like, if there's any at all and these VA's aren't just riffing on an outline. Considering they don't talk over each other constantly, there must be something like a script, but it also does occasionally feel like a bad roleplay (and I've been a bad roleplayer).) It leads to a Something Is Wrong feeling in the "We're doing this for fun" question-answering joke show. Sonic needs therapy. (We all need therapy.)
Meanwhile, Shadow really is pulling out all the grunts, groans, and whines with Sonic that, if scripted, would be egregious as hell to read or write. He doesn't make these noises in the games (or shows, really?) mostly because there's a sort of efficiency necessary to production that cuts out that interpersonal realism and partly because it's annoying? Shadow, you're the annoying one?
Unrelated, everybody latched on to Sonic's "Go off, King" but nobody even noticed Shadow's "Deal With It."(sunglasses drop) How soon we forget the sacred texts and/or the deep magic, I guess? (It's an old meme, but it checks out!)
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#I dont accept the twitter takeovers as canon#there is no lore here- just corporate sponsored voice actor engagement content#fandom is about fun though so have fun with it#angst i guess#im working on a thing that started in the mid-00s and every New Thing that happens in the Sonic Franchise is an additional rock in my shoe#that I have to debate whether it fits into the project or not and if it does then am i a sellout for including it#or will I ruin my readers suspension of disbelief if I throw it out#i think too much therefore the thing remains unfinished#longpost#long post
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I know we aren't supposed to pay attention to celebs but as a detrans lesbian it genuinely hurts seeing these high-profile daughters of celebs (some of whom are lesbians) transition and suddenly gain more fame because of it.
Like, when Cher's daughter came out a lesbian she (Cher) practically kicked her out the house. Now that she's a transgender man she's way more famous and their familial relationship is apparently all hunky-dory now (gee, I wonder why). Sting's (the singer) daughter Eliot came out as a masc/androgynous lesbian in 2015 but is now nonbinary, got top surgery, and is getting more acting roles. Sade released her first song in years about her 'trans son''... like, you couldn't have made a song about loving your daughter until now?
I know the more cynical among us will write these off as just attempts to get more attention from the media and go on about "nepo babies" or whatever but it's still painful yknow? The only thing I'm understanding from this is that being a lesbian woman - especially a non-hyperfeminine one - is never enough no matter how relatively privileged you are.
(Cher's case is especially damaging considering she treated her lesbian daughter like shit until she transitioned and yet she's viewed as a 'gay icon'. Goes to show that people don't care about lesbians I guess?)
100%. I hate seeing this shit, and I think you’re right. Being a more masculine lesbian is never enough. It’s never going to be something that people admire and look up to.
Being trans or nonbinary is partially a way for these women and their families to feel noteworthy and special.
Or it’s a way to feel more accepted and understood within heteronormative society, like it was for me.
It bothers me when I see any parent getting clout for having a trans kid. So much virtue signaling.
#feminism#lesbian#detrans#trans#detransition#radical feminism#butch#radblr#ftm#terf#terfblr#lgbt#gay#mtf
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Been having urges to write some wuwa fics after the recent quests and events, here's a little bit on Yinlin based on this interaction from the latest illusive realm😩
18+ CONTENT
Game: Wuthering Waves
Characters: Yinlin x gn!reader with a dick (Rover)
Type: Smut
After solving the crisis of the Somnium Labyrinth near the Whining Aix's Mire, you were back inside to defeat the remaining Tacet Discords and stabilize the Illusive Realm. The companions trapped by the labyrinth promised to help you for saving them, and you met one of them on the way after the crisis was solved.
"The crisis is over. Why are you still hanging around?" It was Yinlin, she was on her way to leave with others when she spotted you talking with the white cat and decided to wait.
"You are also still here, Yinlin..." you replied, making Yinlin chuckle.
"I'm ready to get back. There's more dirt getting swept under the rug outside. But, there is still one thing that's nagging me...."
Yinlin started to ponder with her gaze lowered, staring into empty space.
"When I screwed up, you... had my back. I didn't expect that." she mumbled under her breath before glancing at you.
"Hm? Are you okay, Yinlin?"
Yinlin then shook her head with a sigh, "It's nothing, just dream talk. Who's to say what's real. I don't screw up in real life."
You were confused but gave a smile nonetheless, "That's true. You are the best at what you do."
Yinlin smirked, "So, what do you plan to do now?"
"The white cat said there's still some Tacet Discords roaming inside the Somnoire so I'll head back after a while."
"Hmm, quite a hard worker, aren't you?~"
"It's nothing. I like to help."
Yinlin then stepped closer to you and leaned near your face, a light blush appearing on your cheeks from the closeness.
"Well, as thanks for helping me, here's a little gift that'll help you in the battles ahead~"
She held your right hand and grazed her fingers over your tacet mark before grabbing your Pangu Terminal and transferring something to it.
"Will you do me a favor in return? Once you finish up here, save some time for me in the real world, darling~" she whispered in a seductive voice, making you blush more.
"A-Ahem, I will. What did you give me, thou—" you asked while examining your terminal but Yinlin had vanished into thin air.
You let out a sigh and decided to focus on the Somnoire again, going back inside and engaging in various battles until you were told it was stable. While the battles weren't hard, you had become exhausted due to the constant fighting in a single day and wanted to get back to rest now. But you remembered your promise to Yinlin and didn't want to disappoint her, hence you decided it was better to finish up your meeting with her first.
It was nightime by the time you were back in Jinzhou city and weren't sure where to find Yinlin at this moment. You figured she would likely be in the outskirts rather than the city so went near Loong's Gaze Suburbs to look for her. This made you realize you didn't know where she lived, or if she even stayed in one place considering her job as a Secret Agent. You'd probably find her camping out more than staying in a proper house.
As you were walking, you suddenly felt some thin strings wrap around your body and before you could react, you were pulled back and pinned to a tree with the strings binding you to the trunk. You winced for a moment and tried to free yourself until you saw some sparks flicker on the strings and knew well enough who it was.
"Hehe, how many times will you fall for the same tricks, Rover?~" Yinlin whispered in your ear from behind the tree before walking around it to stand in front of you.
"I guess I just have my guard down around you."
"Hmm.... You trust me that much? What if I misuse you some day?~"
"I don't believe you will. Otherwise, you have had plenty of chances by now."
Yinlin smirked and glanced at you from head to toe, finding it adorable how you were pinned immovable in front of her. She then looked at some cuts and tears on your skin and clothes, realizing it was from all the fighting you did.
"That's true. You have won my trust unlike anyone so far...." she extended her hand to cup your face and lightly brushed her thumb across the cut on your cheek.
"So, what did you want to meet me for? And are you going to release me from these anytime soon...?"
She smiled and slid her hand down to your chest, "I quite like you in this position. It enables me to do anything I want. Not to mention, you are strong enough to free yourself~"
You nervously chuckled, "What do you have in mind?"
She smirked again and slid her hand further down your stomach now before stopping at your belt, fiddling with the buckle.
"Let me thank you for saving me today. Properly."
Your eyes widened, "Y-You don't need to, Yinlin. You already gave me that Echo which helped a lot in the battles and—!"
Before you could complete, Yinlin dropped to her knees and quickly unfastened your belt followed by undoing your pants. Your erection strained in your underwear as Yinlin grasped it, palming it around.
"It's not just that. You also arise some other feelings in me, strange feelings that I have never had before. I didn't think I was capable of such emotions, but you showed me I'm more human than I realize."
She then freed your shaft from your underwear, the tip hitting her lips as it bounced out and stood at full mast. Yinlin licked her lips and wrapped her hand around the base then started pumping it.
"My, already so hard for me. Seems your body needs some relief after all the work today~"
"Y-Yinlin, you don't have to—"
"I want to. Unless you don't want this, I'll stop."
She looked up at you and waited for your answer. You pursed your lips and simply nodded your consent, making her smile in return. She swiped her tongue across your tip while pumping with her hand and using her other hand to caress your sac. You groaned and threw your head back as you felt her mouth wrap around the head, her tongue constantly swirling around it.
"Mhm, you.... are quite big.... as expected...." Yinlin spoke in muffled words as she tried to swallow your shaft completely.
"Y-Yinlin... aah... you can take it...s-slow.... don't hurt yourself— ngh!~"
You sighed as she bobbed her head back n forth, her tongue lubricating every bit of your length and her lips sucking on the tip. Her warm breath sent shivers through your body, and the feeling of her wet mouth felt amazing. She moaned around your length as she sucked, one hand pumping the base while the other grasped your thigh as she tried to take you deeper. You gazed down at her sucking your cock and your eyes met her hooded ones, feeling a seductive glint in them which made you harder.
Yinlin felt your cock grow even bigger somehow, but she was still determined to take you in completely. Pre-cum dripped from your tip now and her tongue lubricated your shaft sufficiently then with a single push, she swallowed you to the base. You moaned as you felt her throat around your length, your hips involuntarily bucking to feel more. Yinlin hummed and sucked your cock more before pulling back and releasing it to breathe, a smirk painting her lips as she caught her breath.
"Well, do you like it so far? I may have not done this before but I'm quite confident judging by your reactions~"
"Hah.... yes, it's good.... I can't believe it's your first tim— ohhhh fuck!~" you were taken by surprise as Yinlin suddenly swallowed your cock again without warning, this time bobbing her head even faster than before.
"F-Fuck, Yinlin....! Slow down!~"
"Mm...no.... You are adorable.... w-when you react this way~"
Yinlin wasted no time to suck you hard, her tongue swirling around the tip to gather up your pre-cum. You could feel yourself hitting the back of her throat everytime she moved, making you come closer to release as you struggled to hold on.
"Hmm.... cum whenever you want to.... give it all to me~"
How could you hold back when she said that? You wished your arms were free so you fuck her mouth more, but you'd save that for another day. You instead bucked your hips in sync with her bobbing, getting the feel of fucking her throat and she also seemed to like it.
"C-Cumming, Yinlin.... there's a lot— Aaaah!~"
She felt your tip throb and immediately hilted to the base, swallowing you whole as you finally released deep inside her mouth. Yinlin's eyes rolled back as your hot and thick cum filled up her throat, her tongue working to lick every drop and not waste anything. Some cum dripped down her lips as she finally pulled back once you stopped, her chest heaving as she swallowed all of your load.
"You taste good and there's so much quantity; were you so pent up, darling?~"
"Haah... no... y-your mouth was too good...."
Yinlin chuckled then stood up and was about to undo the strings when she noticed your cock was still hard, essentially raring to go for more.
"Oh my, and you have impressive stamina too. As expected of Jinzhou's savior, hehe~"
"S-Sorry, uh... I'll take care of it myself. Thank you for that...."
You looked away in embarrassment while Yinlin seemed to ponder something, her eyes narrowing while looking at your throbbing erection.
"I suppose we should continue. You wouldn't leave me unsatisfied, would you, darling?~"
"Huh?! O-Of course, I wouldn't but.... shouldn't we move somewhere else?"
"Hm? You didn't seem to mind that when I was sucking you, how come now?"
"Uh, I don't want anyone else to see you that way...."
Yinlin's eyes almost widened in surprise but she held back and maintained her poker face. She then smirked and leaned closer to your face, her lips ghosting yours.
"For your eyes only, is it? I suppose I can trust you with that~"
She came even closer and you felt her lips on your neck as she kissed there before making more kisses all over your jaw. Your cock was settled between her thighs and grinded along as she moved to kiss you.
"Ngh... Y-Yinlin.... please, release my arms...."
"What are you going to do if I release you?"
"I want to touch you.... to hold you and pleasure you."
"Hehe, aren't you romantic? You should save such words for your lover~"
"I have no time for that.... but what I'm saying is the truth."
Yinlin almost felt her heart sink at your words, it was surprising to even her that she'd feel so disappointed. She never really thought about having a serious relationship either, she knew her work was too uptight for such things. Perhaps, moments like this was all she could have. And she'd rather have them with you than anyone else. She smiled and suddenly pressed her body against yours, caging you between herself and the tree.
"You are quite sly, Rover. How come none of the other women you know did this before me?~"
You blushed and didn't know how to answer, earning a chuckle from Yinlin who then stepped back and waved her fingers to undo the strings from around you. You sighed in relief as your body was finally free and you could stretch your arms, but Yinlin acted quicker and pulled you closer by your collar while she stepped back until she was pinned against a tree.
"I have high expectations of you, darling~"
A cacaphony of moans and grunts resounded in the forest. You had slipped off Yinlin's panties and held her against the tree with one leg pulled up as your cock thrusted in and out of her cunt. Her arms wrapped around your neck and your eyes gazed into each other as you fucked her, your breaths mingling before Yinlin leaned near your ear and embraced you. Her sultry voice moaned in your ear now, her breath tickling your lobe and the feeling of her warm and tight walls made you aroused to no end.
"Aah! Yes, just like that....! Oh, go deeper!~"
"Yinlin...! You feel so good— fuck!"
"Hehe then do it harder and faster! Show me, Rover! Engrave yourself into me!~"
Her words fueled you further as you picked up her other leg too and slammed deeper, her head falling back in ecstasy. Her legs locked around your waist in a tight hold and her walls clenched you tighter than before, essentially milking you dry. You thrusted faster and harder, burying yourself to the hilt and fucking her deepest parts. As a Secret Agent, Yinlin never imagined herself to lose in such desires outdoors, but there was no way she could resist you any longer.
You eventually turned her over and bent her against the trunk, pulling her hips close to shove inside once again. She mewled as you penetrated her deeply, her voice crying out the sweetest moans as you fucked like an animal in heat. Your thighs slapped against her hips, making erotic sounds accompanied by her moans. Your hands groped her butt before snaking around to touch her clit, her back arching as she felt your finger around it.
"Aaah! R-Rover! Yes! Yes! More.... give me more! Oh, gods! Fuck me and fill me with your seed!~"
Yinlin was mindlessly chanting her desires now, and you had every intention to fulfill them. You pulled her up and made her lean on the trunk while you pressed yourself flush against her back and kept ramming in and out. She arched back and rested her head on your shoulder as you kissed her nape and shoulders before burying your face in her neck and breathing in her scent.
"Oooh just like that! That's it, darling! Yes! I'm so close! Cum with me, darling!~"
You pinched and rubbed her clit with your thrusts, drawing her closer to release as you also couldn't hold back anymore. With a few more thrusts and skin slapping, you shoved forward and hilted all the way inside her as you finally released. She moaned out loud feeling your cum inside, then went breathless as you made her orgasm too. She almost fell limp as she came but you continued holding her, still filling her up with your seed.
You breathed out together once you finished releasing, she turned over and pressed her lips on yours while embracing you tightly. It was a deep and passionate kiss, one that she'd only do with her lover if she had one. But she was more than happy and satisfied with you for now.
"Aah... more, let's do more, Rover...." Yinlin husked after the kiss, and the feeling of your dick rising once again gave her all the answer she needed.
#wuthering waves#wuwa x reader#yinlin#yinlin x reader#wuwa#wuwa smut#yinlin smut#wuthering waves x reader
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Take a look at this baby, it has EVERYTHING.
riddle was told to go home to his orphanage in london during what would have very much been the blitz? whatever.
"Harry Potter is bad because some arbitrary elements of real life i've got a personal interest in aren't part of the plot. Why aren't the books 1000 pages longer? I really wanted to read more of Harry Potter's really bad, terrible writing."
the weasley's are so strapped for cash that they're sending their son to school with a potentially dangerous broken wand? of course they're spending their lottery winnings on visiting their adult son in egypt
(CONTEXT : The Weasleys actually "win the lottery" the year after their son Ron broke his wand, and the win explicitly allows his family to buy him a new wand. So OP here is definitely talking out of their arse. Also,)
"JKR is a terrible writer because occasionally her characters aren't all good and make mistakes or bad decisions. Unlike real life, where people are always good and never make mistakes or bad decisions."
snape grew up in what was likely a dying northern industrial town with abusive/neglectful parents, largely cut off from the magical world? almost impressed you caught on to that, with how little it's expanded on.
"JKR's writing sucks because she can quickly and efficiently paint a picture for her young readers to understand a social context and develop empathy for her characters. Some would call her ability to do that in so little words impressive… Wait, what was i saying? Oh yeah, bad writing. Because reasons."
yes hermione has a supposedly good relationship with both her parents, no we're not going to show you it at all, yes she's going to wipe they're memories like it's nothing.
See first paragraph. (Also, CONTEXT : Hermione is very much distraught at having to - temporarily - wipe her parents's memories "for their own good". Hermione's willingness to do questionable but necessary things to protect people and win against the bad guys is built up throughout the series and is an established character trait at this point. Again, one wonders if OP has actually read the books.)
lily evans is the moral compass of james and basically the most important person in the series but fuck you if you want to actually know anything about her lmao
"I can't see the point of not knowing more about the main character's long dead mum that he never got to know. The tragedy of this fully escapes me. From a literary perspective i don't get the point of being put in the protagonist's shoes. As the reader i should be told everything, and never ever made to use my imagination and empathy."
thinking again about jk rowling being a bad writer. like, we all know about the massive flaws in her worldbuilding and i hope by now it's clear she's a bigot on basically every front. (hello, regular reminder that she doesn't even actually like women.) but like. she's especially good at dropping bits of lore and then those not being relevant in the fucking slightest. riddle was told to go home to his orphanage in london during what would have very much been the blitz? whatever. the weasley's are so strapped for cash that they're sending their son to school with a potentially dangerous broken wand? of course they're spending their lottery winnings on visiting their adult son in egypt, what else would they do. snape grew up in what was likely a dying northern industrial town with abusive/neglectful parents, largely cut off from the magical world? almost impressed you caught on to that, with how little it's expanded on. yes hermione has a supposedly good relationship with both her parents, no we're not going to show you it at all, yes she's going to wipe they're memories like it's nothing. lily evans is the moral compass of james and basically the most important person in the series but fuck you if you want to actually know anything about her lmao. even what little we see is wildly inconsistent.
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hi! i'd like to talk about losing. you don't have to read this if you don't want to, but i wanted to write it, and guess what, it's my blog. i just like this team a lot and i'm feeling a little maudlin about my guys and a little sick to fucking death of the shit i'm seeing all over kingdom come from 'fans'. so here we are.
So You Became A Fan Of A Living Legend But The Hockey Team Is Bad: a commentary.
look. this is not the most fun i've ever had watching hockey, and i'm quite sure a lot of people feel the same way. the penguins are bad this season! they were bad last season too, but there's something very special about the extent to which they are shit right now. and those are not fun games to watch.
but here's the thing: who cares.
like, idk. there's so much god damn negativity surrounding this team and its performance right now, and i'm guilty of contributing to it as well, because yeah of course i'd rather watch a team win in decisive fashion most nights. of course i'd rather dream about may and june and the stanley cup. of course i want to watch that happen again for my favorite players. like, duh.
but. it's probably not going to. not if these players get what they want, which is to play together on this team until they're ready to retire.
and you know what? that's fine. if they're fine with it, who on earth am i to not be?
i think we all have the same reaction when we see idiots online saying things like 'sid doesn't deserve this trade him to a contender'. and that's because we are smarter and more refined fans who understand that what sidney crosby DESERVES is to select how and where and when his career ends. is it on a team that sucks? then that means being here is more important to him than getting that fourth cup. staying with geno and kris and the penguins as a whole, never putting on another NHL logo, is more significant to him personally than another victory. and isn't that special? isn't that worth celebrating?
of course we know all of that because we're better at being fans than the uncles online who are writing weird fanfic in their heads. but. guess what that comes with:
losing.
and losing badly, in the case of this season.
i am here to tell you that sitting and bitching about it helps no one. right now, what we have to watch and celebrate is our favorite players still playing at a high level. they're still doing cool stuff on the ice. and they're doing it TOGETHER. this is what they wanted. so your options are either to hate it and sit in negativity about it each and every game, OR readjust your mindset and learn to enjoy what we have while we have it.
we are watching myth-making happen live. we are watching living legends play hockey. this is a privilege and an honor and it's not something most fanbases get EVER. and we have two! can you believe it?
there are things i would have rather seen done differently over the last couple of years. as far back as 2019 there were moves i disagreed with and changes that could have been made that perhaps could have extended their window. and of course the 2022 series against the rangers, that was a very good team that got hit by injuries at the absolute worst possible time, and probably that was their last chance as a core to compete. it's frustrating to watch that stuff happen when you have no control over it.
the pittsburgh penguins were high-end competitors and contenders for seventeen years straight. that's insane and unheard of in this league. they're not anymore. and the price you pay for almost two decades of dominance is...being bad. when you're competing you trade prospects and draft picks for win-now players. sometimes those work out, most of the time they don't. with the amount of winning this team has done, even the trades that didn't work were worth it, because it meant they were trying.
there are no fanbases who are going to feel bad for penguins fans right now. that's also why we're getting so much attention from the national media. people aren't used to this team being as bad as it is, and people like watching downfalls. that's fine. most of those fans have never watched their team win, and most of them never will. so if their joy is coming from sidney crosby's team being bad....well, love and light, you know?
and we shouldn't feel bad for ourselves either. this is what happens. this is how it goes. this is the price for the band staying together.
i dunno, guys. this is a disjointed rant. it's just so effing hard to be kicked in the nuts everywhere you go with unrelenting negativity. it's on twitter it's in the articles and yes, it's here too. but if you can't be a fan of a team when they're bad, then i'm sorry but you're not a fan of the team (or certain players), you're a fan of winning. and NO team wins all the time every year. that's not how sports work.
we are lucky. at least, i feel lucky! don't you? gosh, sidney crosby scored his 600th career goal tonight. evgeni malkin is over 500 goals on his career. can you believe that? it's amazing to watch.
and it's going to be over in less than two years. do we really want to waste it by wishcasting something that's not going to happen instead of enjoying what we DO have?
if the media bums you out, don't listen. don't read the articles. don't go on twitter. dry your tears on the stanley cup banners that sid and geno hung up—there are three to choose from!
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Analysis: Hakuri & Abusive Backstories
Hello dear void. Hakuri is a character that is near and dear to my heart so I wanted to yap about him and why his story is so important to me on a deeply personal level.
This is a LONG yapfest- the Tumblr Edit Post UI is hitching and lagging while I try to type this little notice there's so much word vomit in here. I honestly don't expect anyone to read it all the way through. I just wrote this to figure out why I was so goddamn attached to a fictional character and decided to jettison it into the ambivalent embrace of the internet. I spent too many hours on this to just delete it all once I found my answers, so... if you wanna strap in, go ahead. But maybe make sure you've got a decent chunk of free time and high tolerance for extremely subjective interpretations first.
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DISCLAIMER: This is purely my opinion- I can't speak for anyone's experience but my own.
First, this isn't a trauma dump. Not for me at least. I'll be talking about what Hakuri endured and how it shaped his character in relatable ways thanks to the quality of the writing. But there won't be anything discussed outside of what happens in Kagurabachi canon, so rest assured on that front.
Second, please don't assume I had a terrible life because I latched on to a character that was literally tortured for years! Even though the major themes resonated with me and many of my thoughts were eerily similar to Hakuri's, nothing I experienced rose to such an extreme level. Like, I genuinely deserved the one time I was hit for being a shitty over-dramatic teenager so it doesn't even come close lmao. Fictional characters don't have to be 1:1 mirrors in terms of type or severity of trauma to be helpful self-reflection tools is all.
Third, I started writing this around chapter 53 and it's being posted as of chapter 58. If it ages poorly, well, I'm not saying I'm smart just because I yap a lot.
Without further ado... prepare for an expansion of massive proportions under the cut.
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All too often we see shounen characters have an abusive sob story background to give them a sympathetic hook and a reason to start from zero. There's little to say about them other than they go from zero to hero for the good vibes and catharsis. They begin their story as a victim first and foremost, and there are little or no lingering effects from trauma once they have their moment of triumph. In the "good" cases they're healed and whole. In the "bad" cases they have negatively warped personalities for the rest of the story. There's not much in between the two extremes.
Portraying the abuse characters endure in such a shallow way is not the best way to write about it, from my point of view. Writing it as something that can be overcome with strength of will alone is harmful. So is writing the victim as a permanently damaged, defective person. Instead, we need more characters like Hakuri that are shaped but not wholly defined by their abuse, and aren't completely healed by putting the manifestation of their torment in the dirt.
Hakuri is the first character the [abusive past] attribute that actually worked as a hook for me. This is largely due to two key writing decisions: not centering Hakuri's entire narrative around overcoming the abuse he suffered, and carefully depicting how trauma influences his actions. It's necessary to read between the lines of what he says and does to see how much he hasn't said about himself- what he won't admit or recognize, despite how core it is to his character.
Chapters 19-23, Meeting and Getting to Know Sazanami Hakuri
Mantis imagery for courage!
The very first things we learn about Hakuri are as follows:
1) He pushes through hardship with sheer force of will 2) He lost his whole family and has probably been on his own for a while 3) #1 is a lie
I've brought it up before, but food symbolism is all over the place in Kagurabachi- it's often a short-hand for comfort and connection. So Hakuri spilling that metaphor out of his mouth right after telling us he's able to "push through" is a sign that he actually isn't coping with his situation that well. His thoughts about himself and his actual status don't match up. But it's ridiculous imagery that puts us off and pushes us towards thinking he's kind of pathetic rather than making us feel sorry for him. And the rest of his introduction, while accurate to his character, buries the lede on how much he's suffering.
As for his backstory: he was disowned, yes. He says his family will kill him if they see him, yes. But it reads more like Hakuri was punished for being a moral black sheep after he himself framed being disowned as punishment for "being weak" and "getting in the way of business". There's no hint of foul play on his family's part other than being low-life criminals to be fought as the arc villains. So he's primed for some sadness but probably nothing on Char's level. The only hints we have towards something serious until the chapter 24 reveal are not exactly obvious:
-He has a fatalistic mindset and thinks it's natural for him to be overpowered and kicked around because he's weak. (Could just be typical zero-to-hero shounen character things.)
-He's generally unafraid and highly tolerant of pain. He gives no shits about his condition after being kicked around by the Yakuza, smears the blood from his nose while casually talking to Chihiro, and willingly takes a strong hit and is able to yell encouragement to Chihiro while lying bloody on the floor. (Doesn't really stand out in a series as violent as Kagurabachi; this is kind of the bare minimum for being involved in the plot if you aren't a child to be protected.)
-Perhaps the only big tell-tale sign: we zoom in on his trembling fist when describing his older siblings as "strong and scary" in chapter 23. (Could be inferred as fearing for his life since he also says they'd kill him on sight in the same chapter.)
Hakuri's not written like a typical abuse victim in this intro. We don't get commentary from other characters about how much pain Hakuri seems to be in- they comment on how weak and dopey he appears instead. Nor do we get shots of him looking sad, flinching away from touch, or being hesitant to connect with other people. He's actually kind of unhinged with how passionate and eager he is to join forces with Chihiro. He's intense and ridiculous and gets used like a wholesome gag character more than anything else.
So there's not much to suspect here. Hakuri's got more to reveal to us but there are no signs of what we should brace ourselves for. Then the nightmare starts.
Chs. 24-26, The First Glimpse
This page goes from 0 to 100 REAL quick.
Well, shit.
Behold the understated reveal of Hakuri's status as a victim of abuse. The revelation at the bottom of the page only to see his suicide attempt on the page turn is an extremely effective "oh shit- OH SHIT-" two-hit combo that arrests the reader's attention, and I really wish that it was the most memorable part of the chapter for more people. Because holy hell, this recontextualizes everything we know about Hakuri. He's still a passionate, silly, and slightly insane guy, but damn he actually suffered more than he let on.
To find out like this is unusual, isn't it? Char's situation wasn't shown right away either, but meeting her as a scruffy orphan clued us in that she was going to have a tough past from the start. Hakuri, by comparison, gave us very few obvious hints about it. It's like he doesn't want to be seen that way. He openly admits to being "weak" and "useless" but his own pain? The suffering he endured? He's totally fine pushing past it all (lies).
But we're not even close to done yet.
Note how Hakuri's focused on Soya's hands...
Hakuri's first instinct being to jump to his death says a lot. Unlike standing up for the little girl or jumping in to save Chihiro, this is a purely reactionary response. There's no room to think back to Chihiro's bravery for inspiration as those memories overwhelm him. He's terrified. So he jumps and trembles in fear as Soya tries to talk him into coming back to relive his nightmares.
We laughed at the soda spilling out of his mouth and his expressions after he got hit in the face by Hiyuki, but this is deadly serious. Hakuri isn't okay at all. He's actually in very bad condition and the way he thinks about Soya says so much.
The panel explaining Soya's expression of "love" on the page above is important, but it's not emphasized in the same way as what's happening in the present. It feels like an unpleasant detour into Hakuri's inner thoughts for extra context while the main focus is on him and Soya in the moment. Hakuri doesn't even describe what happened to him directly- he says "punching and kicking" like it could be anything from hazing to broken bones, but the backdrop lets us know that it's probably closer to the latter. It gives the impression that Hakuri (understandably) doesn't want to think about this at all.
He also frames Soya's aggression towards him as an expression of "sincere" affection. That's preposterous and heart-breaking to most people- violence isn't love. Even most victims will acknowledge that... to a point. Violence hurts, it's unwanted, but it's still a valid expression of emotion to be acknowledged. It's something they earn or deserve. The rational people are correctly screaming NO IT'S NOT! And most victims would agree again... to a point. Somehow they're the exception to that mindset. Other people don't deserve it, but they do.
So despite it all, Hakuri is still able to be brave for Hinao's sake. He's not going to let Soya hurt anyone else if he can help it, even if it means putting himself back in harm's way. This adds an interesting layer to his character. He's laden with trauma, but he's still able to show courage for others. He thinks he's weak and won't prevent whatever abuse comes his way, but he will put himself at risk to stop others from experiencing the same or worse.
Why is he so devoted to protecting other people at his own expense? Sadly, it's not uncommon for victims to advocate harder for other people than they do for themselves. It also has something to do with the merchandise woman that was mentioned this chapter, but that reasoning won't be revealed for a while yet.
"This pathetic wretch was born a Sazanami, but he can't even do sorcery. He's useless. Worse, he's a hindrance. His life is worthless."
There's another thrill of panic when Kyora summons Hakuri to use his life as a bargaining chip. Hakuri's at his most pathetic here- he's on the ground, helpless under Kyora's foot, not even trying to resist or escape. None of the fire we saw when he saved the little girl, took that hit for Chihiro, or defended Hinao is present. Hakuri can't be brave for himself. He's quite literally trampled by what passes for the Sazanami version of "love" and "basic human decency". It doesn't need to be spelled out any clearer than this: Hakuri's woes come from his family, especially his father. The Sazanamis are fucked up even when it comes to how they treat their own flesh and blood. They're rotten from the head down.
It's obvious then why Chihiro's words and actions affect Hakuri so much. Hakuri thinks he has no value whatsoever- his father says as much, and he falls for Shiba's bluff implying the same. Only Chihiro steps in to directly repudiate Kyora's toxicity and say yes, Hakuri does have value. So much, in fact, that he's willing to trade the precious memento of his father (and the majority of his strength) to prove it. So they're able to leave, but not without Hakuri encumbering himself with a huge amount of guilt for how things went down.
The face of someone ready to spiral down and out.
It's telling that reassurances don't do much to help Hakuri feel better. Shiba tries to help by offering generic comfort (ice cream) and Chihiro tells him it's alright, but it's not until Hakuri hears that he's still needed that he's able to bring himself out of the mire of self-hate.
Of course it's extra effective for Hakuri because he was considered totally useless, but this is very relatable even for folks who weren't told they had no value on a daily basis. Offers of comfort only make the self-hate worse for some people who think they're utterly worthless. Even simple gestures like Shiba's twist the knife and reinforce the idea that the person doesn't deserve any kindness whatsoever. It just piles on the guilt. But being given something to do -especially if it's believably framed as something only they're capable of doing- feels incredible. They might have some value after all, even if only for this one thing.
It's something that I really appreciate the author doing since it's a touch that didn't need to be added. Hakuri could have just found a bit of solace in Shiba and Chihiro's words, which would have given more time for other things to be addressed in the chapter. But it's important to show that Hakuri struggles with accepting kindness because he took his father's words to heart. His feelings of worthlessness and uselessness are essential to who he is.
After this we see him at Chihiro's beck and call, prioritizing his requests over everything- relaxing with Char and Hinao, even his own comfort with another ice cream/food metaphor. It's framed as something silly and dog-like for the laughs, which once again encourages us to downplay the severity of this issue for him. None of the other characters ever directly point this out either. It's one of those informed traits that influences Hakuri's actions without any acknowledgment from himself or others, but just like the soda spilling out of his mouth, we're invited to treat it as a gag.
From here, the focus shifts entirely to building tension for the raid on the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri's circumstances are put on the back-burner to simmer for 5 weeks in real time until he confronts Soya in chapter 30.
Chs. 30 & 32-34, The Soya Rematch (what Chihiro and Shiba know):
Hakuri puts his fear of Soya aside to bait him out to help the mission. Chihiro and Shiba gave him a job to do, so he'll see it through no matter what. Unfortunately things don't go as planned and he ends up all alone with his biggest tormentor.
I'll have more to say about Soya himself in his own section with Kyora later, but it's very clear what his role as Chief Bully is, narratively speaking:
In a lot of ways, Soya is more object than actual character. He's our almost cartoonishly evil device to represent everything that's been repressing Hakuri. He's the demon in his head telling him he's useless, pathetic, weak, and so on. So Hakuri trying to square up to Soya is also him facing off against the things he's internalized that hold him back.
Hakuri's struggle against Soya before he awakens seems very hopeful and standard shounen. He's fighting the internal battle at the same time as the external, telling his brother to "shut up" while his mind races to figure out what he should do now that the situation went belly-up. He could keep playing the victim and take Shiba up on his offer to help since he can't reach Chihiro, or he could play dead and wait for it all to be over... or he could try believing in himself. Because Chihiro saw something in him and even if he can't bring himself to think he's strong and capable, he can at least have faith in Chihiro's words that they would end the Rakuzaichi together.
This time it works and he's able to shove Soya close enough to the tree wall so that Chihiro can give us a great visual metaphor to show us what just happened to Hakuri:
Chihiro is the one who broke Hakuri's mental barrier for him. He couldn't do it himself, but someone he admired believing in him in return made all the difference. Hakuri just needed a little support to start coming into his own.
He stays behind to handle the rest of the fight on his own while Chihiro goes ahead to meet up with Shiba- he can do this himself now that he's awakened thanks to their help. Very wholesome, extremely shounen. But there are deliberate writing choices which make it obvious that there's more going on beyond the surface that winning this fight won't fix or even fully address.
In Chapter 32, Hakuri tells Chihiro and Shiba a slightly condensed version of his experience as an uncomfortable reminder for the reader. Oh, right, Hakuri was abused- at least that explains why he survived a Flame Bone punch to the face. Anyway, let's move on to ditching John Hishaku and kicking Soya's ass.
The framing is so interesting to me. Chapter 32 uses preexisting panels that are cropped and presented slightly differently compared to how they originally appeared: Ch. 24
Ch. 32
Full page for reference.
When Hakuri recounts a version of the abuse flashbacks, they're not merely downsized to fit. They're cropped to downplay the gang-ups and are smaller in size compared to the rest of his story, almost as if he doesn't think it's that big of a deal compared to being unable to keep up with his siblings. We don't even see his own words describing what happened despite him talking freely about everything else. Instead, the abuse sequence is treated like the panel where he describes Soya's "love"- Hakuri talking to Chihiro and Shiba about his suffering is an unpleasant aside to give context rather than the main event.
Seriously. The dialogue of him explaining why his family gave up on him over the reused backdrop of the Sazanami estate is given more time than him being hit and kicked. Chihiro and Shiba get the "it wasn't so bad" version of events compared to what Hakuri remembers experiencing, and we're invited to treat what's normally the foundation of a character's entire existence as a convenient explanation for why he's so goddamn sturdy.
Neither of them noticeably react to his story too. We got a bit from Shiba in the car in Chapter 26 when he realized Hakuri was probably stewing in self-hatred, but we've never seen any of Chihiro's thoughts or reactions since he was disgusted by Kyora using Hakuri as a bargaining chip. He does reassure Hakuri that they'll be there to help him, but isn't it strange we don't see Chihiro's reaction to this information at all? We see little panels of his concerned faces all the time for less than what Hakuri talked about here:
Chihiro cares a hell of a lot, and he's very attentive to boot.
Obviously we don't see Chihiro and Shiba's reactions because they aren't important. This isn't about Hakuri's abuse- we already knew about it. The focus is on Hakuri's awakening and his faith in Chihiro, not the past.
This is a victim's mindset manifesting as clever visual storytelling, in my opinion. Of course it's not that bad when he has to talk about it; he invited it by being weak and not living up to standards. It wasn't a big deal though. There's more important stuff to do right now anyway. And the story moves on as if to agree with him- we go right back to our regularly scheduled action scenes interspersed with some flashbacks to contextualize other characters, namely Tenri and the Sazanamis before Hakuri was rejected.
That's right, Hakuri once again dodges abusive past cliches by being doted on and cared for before he was found lacking. He knew what it was to be loved, even if the Sazanami version is manipulative to the point of being abusive all by itself. There's more to say about this under Kyora's section but no wonder Hakuri's so fixated on being useful- he wants that affection and sense of belonging back more than anything. It's fucked up, but it's all he knows. So Hakuri was abused twice over: emotionally and physically. Damn. He turned out pretty alright despite it all, huh? Wonder how that happened...
Well, it's time to move on now so he can ascend and overcome it all. He's gotta yell "Isou!" and prove himself, and the next two chapters seem to be putting him on course to do just that, albeit with some difficulty. Can't make a character's awakening too easy or it won't feel earned. He's got some serious trauma to overcome thanks to his family's bullshit.
Then chapter 35 hits and we get the nightmare fuel.
Ch. 35, The Real Backstory (what Ice Lady knew):
Chapter 35 is that long-awaited full-chapter delve into Hakuri's painful past with the mysterious woman, and boy does it have some unsettling revelations.
Ice Lady's tragedy is framed as the important driving force for Hakuri as we know him- she broke him free from his family's grip and motivated him to seek help to end their evil ways. She's the entire reason we meet him in Chapter 19. Everything Hakuri is doing this arc ties back to how badly he fucked up with her, setting the stage for him to become the savior he tried to be when we met him. Oh yeah, we got more Hakuri abuse lore. Can you believe that WSJ let the author get away with showing someone slitting their throat in front of a kid?! And make it at least partially his fault? Jesus Christ. Now it's truly time for him to come into his own, though- oh man that cliffhanger at the end of the chapter...! Wait, what do you mean there was more to his suffering besides the situation with Ice Lady?
I was being a bit facetious there but the point stands. We didn't get a tear-jerker reveal chapter dedicated solely to Hakuri's pain and suffering at long last just to make us feel bad for him and nothing else. Instead, we got a full-blown tragedy caused by the Sazanami cycle of abuse. The nightmare of Ice Lady killing herself in front of Hakuri overshadowed the reveal that damn, Hakuri actually had it super rough. Because yeah, that was unexpectedly brutal even compared to Chihiro being baited with Char's severed leg last arc. It really drove home just how fucked up the situation with the Sazanami family was and how it affected everyone that got tangled up in their bullshit.
So the presentation of what he endured is once again subdued even though the panels showcasing the tools took up half the page. Soya breaking Hakuri's finger was called "bullying" (いじ��[ijime], not 虐待 [gyakutai, abuse]). A single flash back frame off to the side seems small compared to the emphasis on Hakuri telling Ice Lady (and us) that it's "not that bad" because Soya keeps losing the tools and going back to using his fists (the terror in Hakuri's expression in that panel is completely at odds with how calm is explanation is, though). It's also not unreasonable to presume that the jump rope, peeler, and wrench were shown for the audience's benefit to clue us in that Hakuri's holding back again, much like the panel describing Soya's "love" in chapter 24. He's always saying the bare minimum and trying not to think of the rest- he buries that shit deep.
But he has to if he wants to keep going. There's no way he can sit down and process all of this right now:
Hakuri: "It's normal for my brother to break my bones and worse before he loses the tools. He usually only hits me anyway, so it's not like this happens all the time."
Woman betrayed by the man she loved to be sold at an auction as merchandise to the boy overseeing her captivity: "That's messed up!"
"This is as close as I can get to being cherished by the people who are supposed to care for and support me."
He even misses the point when he finally does open up:
"You're the one who's trapped in a cage."
This part is the hardest for me to write about, honestly. Again: I was never tortured or anything, much less hit. But this chapter is the one that made me take a good, hard look at what I went through and connect some dots. Hakuri's mindset, the things he says, the way he phrases things- that's someone who doesn't want to acknowledge that they're in a bad situation that's not their fault.
Hakuri will talk about his own worthlessness and all his defects that "invite" the abuse, but he won't acknowledge that he doesn't deserve what's happening to him at all. He's not the kind of shounen character who understands that his situation sucks and uses it as fuel to become better. Instead, he's stuck in that oh-so-relatable spiral of self-deprecating negativity that keeps victims trapped.
It's easier for Hakuri to think he deserved it for his own failings. This wouldn't be happening if he hadn't earned it somehow. He's in this situation because he's weak and any "love" is better than none at all. Then it's reinforced by the genuine helplessness and vulnerability of being too isolated to escape or know better, compacting down into dense layers of denial and self-hate that act as defensive armour against emotions that are too difficult to face. Like anger or the desire for something better. Like hope. Those are only felt on behalf of others, not himself.
At any rate, it's a bit distressing that so many people forget that Hakuri's actually a hell of a lot more complex than he was hinted to be before this chapter. He's not an innocent in all this like Char was, which is incredibly smart and realistic writing from the author. Hakuri was also an abuser himself. An accidental one, but doesn't matter when you talk to someone the way he did to Ice Lady. He didn't swing the knife but he did kill her with the same mentality that was crushing him down on the inside.
He doesn't use his suffering as an excuse for anything he does, good or bad. Not even in the sense of wanting to save others- that's all about Ice Lady and his family's terrible legacy. What happened to him isn't worth mentioning or acting on. Yet another distressingly accurate facet of a victim's mentality, unfortunately.
But this must be it. This chapter was a depressing surprise but surely there's nothing left to reveal. We had his big moment of sadness so it's only going up from here. Hakuri's going to overcome everything and it'll all be okay! Back to standard shounen powerups!
Chs. 36-43, Putting the Past to Rest (things only Hakuri knows):
Oh.
In chapter 36, the storehouse reveal somewhat overshadows all the instruments of abuse Hakuri unwittingly stored inside it. There are a lot of people who completely forgot about the objects in there during the hype of the moment, and I never get tired of seeing "WTF?!" posts and comments from folks doing re-reads of the arc. It's so easy to overlook the rope and sticks and all the other tools when you're cheering hard for Hakuri to finally, finally overcome his tragic past by putting Soya down. Worst Big Bro is gonna pay and Hakuri's ascension will be complete! ... Wait, was that a goddamn chair?
There's also a point made of Soya's defeat not being a resounding victory.
Still framing Soya's abuse as love, but it's got a bitter feel to it this time.
Hakuri is the one who gives Chihiro strength in the moment despite everything he's just been through.
We're cheering when he awakens and pressurizes Soya's guts, but then these panels remind us that there's nothing to celebrate from Hakuri's perspective. He doesn't savor finally overcoming Soya as his abuser or the manifestation of everything that's messed up about his family. There's no immediate sense that things will be okay from now on either. To Hakuri, this isn't a personal victory. It's just something that needed to be done for Ice Lady and all the victims of the Rakuzaichi.
This is a sort of capstone to Hakuri's backstory. The second-to-last new thing we learn about him is that the abuse was still somehow worse than we thought. He really, truly buries the lede when it comes to what he suffered and the writing is in cahoots with him on it. He won't even take the time to smile or feel a little relief- he's not ready for that yet. Instead he just walks past Tenri's mutilated corpse to pull Chihiro along to get the job done.
If this was a different series we might get a little more catharsis- even just the barest hint that Hakuri's gonna be just fine from now on. But this is Kagurabachi and the author fucking gets it so there's still a little more to unpack before Hakuri can have an opportunity to begin the healing process.
In chapter 37, the pain of Kyora looking away was framed as just as important to Hakuri as the fond memories of when he was loved and wanted:
"... I still wanted you to praise me, Father."
The very last thing we learn about Hakuri is that he wanted his father's love despite it all.
Hakuri ended the torment from Soya- he'll never have to worry about his skin being peeled off or getting beaten with a pipe ever again. But the cycle that caused it- and the complex feelings for the people who hurt him- aren't so easily dealt with. It's not so simple as being hurt and flipping a switch to stop feeling affection for the perpetrator. So Hakuri acknowledges that he still wanted his father's praise in spite of the years of torment the man knowingly enabled.
In the end, Kyora grants Hakuri's secret wish and acknowledges him at the very last as the chaos fades away so that they're the only thing in each other's view. He really, truly won it all. He doesn't rejoice in victory, though. Once more there's no triumph for Hakuri to celebrate. Killing his father was just another thing that had to be done so that there would never be another Ice Lady.
It's hard to say what exactly Hakuri's feeling about Kyora's death since it's yet another thing we haven't seen him talk about- and may never. It's not too much of a stretch to think he's got a complex mix of sadness, relief, and guilt going on, though. At least the moment when their eyes met was intensely cathartic after all the times Kyora deliberately looked away. But Hakuri's still not okay yet.
It's not like life suddenly gets better when the abuser is gone for good in some cases. Hakuri's still struggling in the immediate aftermath of seeing his father die at last. It's a relief that there won't be any more pain caused by the Sazanami clan -and Kyora in particular- but it still fucking hurts to lose someone so important to you. It's also frightening to suddenly be thrust into the unknown without a guide of any kind.
Fortunately for him, Hakuri is able to find new purpose with Chihiro. He gets to walk away from his family and stay with the people who believed in him. This is another thing that I can't praise the author enough for. It's far, far too common for writers to frame victims reforming their abusers as some kind of ultimate victory.
No, no, no!
The most charitable way to explain this is that the survivor is so saintly that they'll even reach out to the ones who hurt them to help them become better people. But that is such utter bullshit I don't even have the words to express myself properly. It's terrible messaging for survivors. They don't have any obligation whatsoever to help the people who hurt them. They don't even have to keep tabs on how the abusers are doing in a general sense. They get to fucking leave and find happiness with people who treat them well. That is the true ideal.
Hakuri being given a clear out to leave is where the rest of the catharsis in his story comes from. He doesn't have to stay and fix things even though he absolutely could as the first person since the clan's founder to have both Isou and the storehouse powers. Kyoura and Soya are gone- he could have stepped in to make the clan right their wrongs and atone as a family. But there's not even a hint of guilt tripping from the author about Hakuri's decision to follow Chihiro. It's framed as the best possible thing for him to do, in fact.
If he stayed, he'd never work on the other issues around self-worth that he's burying so deep inside. Switching from villainy to good deeds won't resolve the issues with the clan's mindset about being living tools for a greater cause either. Not to mention the fact that there's nothing his siblings can offer him even if they treat him like a king for the rest of his life- the damage was already done long ago. There's nothing left for him there except more misery and stagnation. He needs to go with Chihiro, his new north star, to learn how to heal.
But lest this outcome be too heartwarming, Hakuri's still not directly facing everything that he went through. Hakuri phrases working alongside Chihiro as "proving the value that [Chihiro] saw in him", not "starting over" or "making the world a better place together" or even "paying Chihiro back" by helping him on his mission. He's still trying to be useful in the service of someone else like a tool.
Hakuri's bruises are already fading; or at least they were until I had to edit this part in light of the events of chapter 56 onward. But the mental scars of the abuse are still guiding his actions and thought processes even if he doesn't acknowledge it. And that's where we come back to the torture implements still hidden in his warehouse.
Hakuri's not home free despite us collectively sighing in relief that he got his Happily Ever After, subdued as it was. He needs to face what he's been avoiding and burying so that he's not endangering Chihiro's plan and the people around him by throwing himself in danger just to be even the slightest bit useful.
Oftentimes, trauma is an invisible scar that needs to be worked around for the rest of someone's life- hence why he's still got those physical manifestations stored deep inside where only he can see and grant access. Hakuri's only just started out on the path to redemption and recovery. He needs to start addressing the guilt over Ice Lady and learn some tough lessons about self-worth before he can even begin to look further inside to those Visual Metaphor Tools.
After that, if the author's interested in continuing this part of Hakuri's character, is exposing them and what they mean to someone who can help Hakuri get rid of them. Whether that's Chihiro, Shiba, or someone else doesn't really matter. Hakuri's got a long road ahead dealing with the lingering after-effects, unlike so many of his fictional fellow survivors. He's still very much in need of a lot of support from his new found family- now more so than ever after what happened in chapter 58.
Soya and Kyora
There's something to be said about the writing for the primary abusers, too. The Rakuzaichi arc was well-received in large part to Kyora being an incredible villain and Soya being... Soya.
Soya
And the "Worst Big Brother" Award goes to...
Soya serves two primary purposes in the narrative: to contrast Hakuri's character, and be the manifestation of everything that was wrong with the clan.
Soya and Hakuri share similar looks, hand gestures, and extreme expressions but they couldn't be more different. Soya has the inverse of Hakuri's character framing: he's shown to be competent and strong, and almost everyone in-universe acknowledges him as such-we're even told he's smarter than Kyora. But he's actually quite the pathetic loser due to his freakish obsession with his "weak" little brother.
More obviously, Soya is the rotten core of the family. He's obsessive over Hakuri to an extremely alarming degree- he even refuses his duties as the next clan head and a member of the elite Tou to find and stay with Hakuri. Kyoura tells him to "stop fixating on that failure" but Soya's having none of it, he just can't let go of his "endearing" weakling of a little brother. Bullying Hakuri is what he lives for and he does it all in the name of purest love. Just like the clan lives for the Rakuzaichi and are devoted to it mind, body, and soul. They're both extremely toxic and Soya's the guy who gets to represent the deleterious effects of cleaving to abusive mentalities on individual members.
Soya's fists and words to Hakuri are the blatant messaging about what the Sazanami mindset did to him. He had that mental block preventing him from using his sorcery because he was constantly being told he was weak and useless. It was literally beaten into him as a form of love, but not all abusive mentalities need to be reinforced with violence. Soya was just there to make the point too obvious to be missed.
Hakuri's final words to Soya say it all. Soya throws a tantrum over Hakuri refusing to lay down and take the abuse any more and screams "Why won't you go down?! Why won't you die?!" Hakuri simply responds that it's because Soya "always loved [him]" and deals the final blow. He was able to recognize the strengths his family gave him through Soya's "love" but he's not grateful in the slightest (and he shouldn't be). He's simply ready to sever all ties and move on with tearing it all down now. Hakuri was finally able to accept that he didn't want or need that kind of love in his life any more.
Kyora
And the "Worst Dad" Award goes to...
Obviously, Kyoura is the key to this whole mess. He's the one who instilled his children with corrupt values, enabled Hakuri's abuse, and generally Fucked Up Big Time when it came to loving his kids properly. But he thought he was doing the right thing because what's what he went through. He was both abuser and victim himself, just like Hakuri.
This is the key part of abusive backstories that are so often missed. Abuse doesn't always come from deadbeat caretakers that hate the innocent little kid. That scenario is actually way too over represented in fiction, honestly. Abuse isn't always constant malice- it can start later in life. It can even be born from love. Ultimately, it's all too often the unintended consequence of a family haunted by the specter of the cycle. And Kyora is the perfect summary of how and why it echoes through generations.
Hakuri was loved and wanted for at least half of his life. His family might not be wholesome or have healthy attitudes about affection, but he wasn't born hated and mistreated just for existing. He was cared for to the best of his dad's ability just like Tenri and his other siblings.
Even when Hakuri failed to live up to expectations, Kyora didn't just write him off and turn him loose. He kept Hakuri around for years feeding and clothing him and let him try to do what he could. Kyora simply couldn't justify protecting him or showing love since the family ideals were so warped around being able to serve the clan's tradition. He wasn't "allowed" to love a failure, no matter how much he wanted to.
Kyoura struggled about his feelings for his "worthless son" in the flashback we saw through Tenri's PoV- he wanted Hakuri to succeed. He acted like Hakuri forced his hand to punish and marginalize him for failing too hard, not out of ill-will. And during the raid itself he was actually "bent out of shape because he used Hakuri's life as a bargaining chip", according to Enji. It wasn't even until Hakuri showed up to break into the storehouse that Kyora truly cast everything away to prioritize the Rakuzaichi. He really did love Hakuri in his own way.
Kyora was a shitty dad and person, don't get me wrong. No one should put family tradition over their child's well-being and he more than earned his death just by being a human trafficker. But it's clear that Kyora wasn't written to be a shallow, irredeemable monster of a person- he didn't exist in the story just to be a villain and to make us feel bad for Hakuri. He's a tragic character in his own right.
He couldn't even understand why his wife's final words about the auction ruining their lives was replaying in his head near his final moments. The what-if scenario of his happy family sitting down to eat dinner in an apartment somewhere showed his longing for something that he could have had, if not for the goddamn auction. If not for the abuse that made him into the person he chose to be until the very end.
It's why Hakuri getting to walk away is such a poignant end to the Rakuzaichi arc. He's the one who gets to break the cycle on his own terms, and that's the true end of the Sazanami dynasty. The auction hall doesn't collapse until he decides to stand tall and follow a new path. Whatever Hakuri's siblings do with the Sazanami legacy isn't his concern any more- he's free.
What About Char?
Char's story was also well told! It's the earliest evidence that the author actually gets it when it comes to depicting abuse victims. She's reticent despite her desperation, unable to open up even when Shiba and Chihiro tell her she needs to or they'll send her to an orphanage. Eventually Chihiro wins her trust through his altruism and she comes to believe in him. She and us are the only ones who know exactly what happened with her mom, but it's not important for the rest of the cast to be in on it. She's safe and happy now and that's enough.
Even though Char's arc ended close to that overly-simplistic "everything is k now" scenario that I hate, there's one key difference that sets it apart to let us know that no, she's not truly okay yet.
Char's still got some attachment issues, which makes perfect sense. She lost her mom in a traumatic way so of course she's happily surprised that Chihiro came back to her. Char's on the path to healing- she's able to thrive thanks to Team Goldfish's care- but her abusive past still shapes who she is in small ways like this.
I doubt we'll see more development of her beyond checking in now and then. She's too young to be consistently involved in the heavy themes of Kagurabachi's story, much less the fights. But it's good to know that the author includes little details like this so we don't assume Char's 100% fine now. He understands that trauma doesn't just vanish when the victim's safe in their Happily Ever After scenario. That's why he made sure we knew that she's going to be okay in the long-run.
Ch. 26, right after Chihiro trades Enten for Hakuri
But Hakuri's not there himself yet.
Food as a metaphor for comfort, security, and/or connection is constant in this series. It's very obvious symbolism to let the author convey a bit more context in the scene than dialogue alone can. So when Hakuri rejects food here, he's rejecting reassurance from Shiba. Meanwhile Char's already comfortable enough to accept it. Good for her, truly!
Hakuri's situation wasn't necessarily worse than hers, but it was a lot more complex. So even though he's safe now, he's not really able to pursue his happiness yet. All those tools he keeps locked up inside, the mindset of being one himself- they're still issues for him to work through. But there's hope for him too.
The author went out of his way to show us that Hakuri's also on the path to healing here. The last time Hakuri shared food with someone, he was forcing his abusive ideology on Ice Lady. She started finishing the meals and truly internalizing the hopelessness of her situation. He fucked up the food as comfort/connection metaphor bad with her.
Yet in Chapter 47, we see Hakuri sharing some snacks with Chihiro on the train. Sharing food isn't connected to the situation at hand or the information dump it's serving as backdrop for, so it's definitely a deliberate choice on the author's part to depict this instead of literally anything else. It was shown to let us know that Hakuri's on his way to his own Happily Ever After.
He's able to connect to Chihiro and not worry about the repercussions. This is a huge step for his character and speaks volumes about the level of trust between them; this is the first time Chihiro's willingly accepted food from someone else too. Hakuri's not only still reaching out to other people, he's still able to provide warmth to others despite it all.
What's Next?
I'm not going to pretend that I can predict what Hakuri's story will look like from here on out. He'll have a hard time for as long as he's slated to get development though- Kagurabachi takes the adage "suffering builds character" very seriously. We're only 58 chapters in as of finally posting this so it's best to strap in and expect a lot more pain.
That said, I feel like Hakuri's self-sacrificing mindset is going to be addressed first. As of chapter 55, he's set up to fail and cause problems by throwing himself into danger despite not being fully healed or rested. The root of this issue would likely be his atoning savior mindset. Hakuri needs to protect and save others very badly after what happened to Ice Lady. He also loathes the idea of others making sacrifices for his sake. So he's willing to throw his life away even when it would be better for his allies if he stayed out of the fighting.
There's also a good reason we met the Makizumi clan in the arc immediately after the Rakuzaichi fell- Hakuri needs to start dismantling the "tool" mindset that was drilled into him. He's only switched his fervor from serving the Rakuzaichi to serving/saving others. This is extremely toxic when combined with his guilt over Ice Lady and drives him to go to extremes to do good, to the point where he's ignoring everyone trying to get him to rest and heal for the sake of the mission if nothing else.
In essence, I believe we are going to finally address the lie of his introduction- that he can keep pushing through hardship with sheer force of will. Because that is not how overcoming trauma actually works.
After that, only the author and his editor know exactly where things will go. But I hope that no matter what happens, Hakuri's lingering trauma is exposed and dealt with. It's informing all of his actions, positive or negative, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. I have faith that this author can tackle this subject compassionately and realistically- he's already done it twice with Char and the Rakuzaichi arc.
So that's that. If you read all this... thanks. Take care, and choose kindness for yourself for today.
#kagurabachi#sazanami hakuri#Being an abuse survivor isn't the crux of who a person is#But it leaves permanent invisible scars that they define themselves around- knowingly or not#Promise I'll never get this personal again#long post#Only partially fueled by annoyance over how many people don't seem to understand Hakuri's character#He didn't get so much thoughtful and intricate development to be written out or killed off either#This is just my extremely long Hot Take but dammit I'm so tired of people asking why he's still around or why he's pushing himself so hard#Don't get me started on the BS about him “needing” to be nerfed either#Or giving up his sorcery to wield an enchanted blade#Writing another essay in the tags is how we roll around these parts
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Uhh bsky seemed to like this thread when I posted it, so thought I might put it here too.
It's the only smut I've written (and man am I in awe of people who can just write smut all the time, I was in struggle town lads)
Top!Ghost, Bottom!Soap. Little hint of praise kink, I just want Ghost to call Soap a good boy and have Soap's brain melt over it.
Good Boy
In Soap’s defence, it had never happened before. He’d been praised for his work.
A clap on the back and a ‘Good work, son’ from Price.
A cheeky grin and a ‘There’s a good lad.’ from Gaz
It felt good to have his work recognised. It left a warm, comforting sense of pride in his chest.
But when Ghost rested a heavy hand on his shoulder, leaning over with hot breath against his ear to say: “Good boy, Johnny.”
It nearly takes him out at the knees. The blood rushes south so fast, he nearly blacks out. As he walks away he can feel Ghosts eyes on him, face hot as the stumbles the first few steps.
The prick looks amused. Fucker.
It could have been fine, though, a one-off oddity that he can safely ignore until he’s in the privacy of his bunk.
But it wasn’t just once.
He swears Ghost is doing it just to fuck with him now.
He's sly about it, never saying when it's obvious or going to draw attention.
It's almost like he waits until Soap feels like he's back on solid footing before he casually drops it into conversation.
It was a quick murmur as they leave the helo after a mission, the sound of the chopper blades drowning out everything else as the hand on Soap's shoulder sears him like a brand.
Or an offhand comment when they've gone for a smoke, the words cheeky as Soap hands over the rolled cigarette.
The others don’t notice, too used to tuning out their banter by now. The addition of the occassional 'Good Boy' blending in with all the other colourful commentary they normally keep up.
Which is probably why Ghost feels ballsy enough to pull that shit during a mission.
After Soap has a frantic few seconds disarming a tangle of trips rigged to blow the building out from under them.
"Building safe, copy." he radios out, hands still shaking from how close that call had been.
“There’s a good boy, Johnny.” comes the heavy rasp crackling over the speaker.
On comms for fucks sake! Soap wants to fuckin throttle him.
Ghost is doing it just to get a rise out of him. And he hates that it's working.
Even when they’re at mess afterwards, hail and hearty with a successful mission right behind them, he can't seem to help teasing Soap.
“Nice job on that last one, Tav.” Gaz slaps him on the shoulder as he takes his seat.
“Youngest in the SAS for a reason.” Soap says around a mouthful of food, winking as Gaz pulls a face.
“Was well handled, nicely done, Soap." Price murmurs behind his mug.
"Proper good boy aren't you, Johnny?" comes the rumble at the end of the table.
His cheeks burn as Gaz and Price laugh. They don’t mean anything by it, they figure it's just being lads and taking the piss.
Soap risks a glance at Ghost and sees his eyes trained on him, a glint of something burning and dangerous peeking through the mask.
Christ he was so fucked.
-
It’s later on, past midnight, when he decides that something has to be done about it.
His can't focus when they’re on mission, either fuzzy with lust or trying to walk in a way that doesn't give away he’s hard enough to punch through wood.
He's not putting his squad at risk just because he's tenting his shorts like some hormonal teenager.
The sound of his knuckles rapping against the door feels louder in the late night air. There's no answer at first, and he wonders if he's made a mistake, should just go back to his bunk.
But then the door opens, Ghost blinking languidly at him.
“Took you long enough.” he rasps.
“Piss off, ye feckin reprobate.” Soap shoulders his way past the door into Ghost's room and throws himself into a chair and feeling a little pissy he’ll admit.
Across the room, Ghost leans against the door, arms crossed and looking at Soap expectantly.
This was going to be like pulling teeth, and he can tell the bastard is amused by it all; eyes seeming to brighten under the mask.
“So, what's your reason, then?” he finally gets out.
“For?” Ghost asks, tilting his head.
Of course, the cunt was gonna make him say it. Part of Soap wants to just give up, storm out. Just go to his room, wank himself unconscious to be done with it.
But Ghost was blocking the door. On purpose, Soap would bet.
“Why do ye keep callin' me a fuckin good boy, eh?” he presses
Ghost holds his gaze and blinks slowly, “Morale”
Fuck it, Soap is leaving, he’s not playing this fuckin game. Even if he has to wrestle the man out of the door. He shoves at the big bastard to move.
“Telling me you didn’t like it, Johnny?” Ghost asks, barely moving from the force of the push Soap gave him.
Soap growls, frustrated, “No’ about that, is it? You dinnae call Gaz or feckin Price that. Is only me you do that to.”
“S’right. Only you.” Ghost counters.
He looks up at Ghost to find that gaze burning into him. This feels dangerous.
“Feelin a bit singled out is all, LT.” he mumbles, hand coming up to awkwardly rub at his neck.
He feels like he's on the wrong foot now, not sure where's safe to step in this minefield of a conversation.
Ghost pushes off the door and moves toward him. It feels like being hunted, and Soap is very quickly learning that apparently he likes that.
He stumbles as the back of his knees hit the bunk and suddenly Ghost is looming above him.
His blood feels molten, too close to his skin and rushing through him. There’s a buzz in his ears and his throat clicks when he swallows.
This close, he can feel Ghost chuckle, feel the hot wet breath on his neck when he leans down.
"D'you want this?" he asks, voice low.
Soap's tongue seems to stick to his mouth, unable to form words.
The prospect of finally getting to have the thing he'd been obsessing over for weeks.
The thing he'd spent the dead of night fucking his fist too, face hot with the shame of it.
It left his head spinning.
Eventually he manages to choke out,
"Yes. Fuckin' yes, Ghost, pleas—"
He cuts off as Ghost grabs him by his hair, pulling just enough for his scalp to prickle as he growls in his ear.
"Good boy."
The whine that comes out of Soap should be embarrassing, but he's too gagging for it to care.
Ghost lets go of Soap's hair and stands back, just out of reach.
"Get your kit off then, or do I have to do all the work?"
“Shoulda known you’d be a nasty bastard.” Soap snarks as he pulls his shirt over his head.
“Reckon you like that, Johnny.” comes the smug reply.
Soap ignores him, fumbling for his belt, shoving his pants down to his knees.
His head falls back, groaning lowly as the pressure on his cock finally lets. He goes to take a moment to collect himself. But instead there's rough hands tugging them the rest of the way, boots yanked off and tossed into the corner of the room.
"Impatient aren't we LT?" he jokes weakly, heart hammering in his chest.
The words die out as the bed dips. Ghost straddles him, settling on his chest heavily.
Soap feels like nothing exists beyond him, the way Ghost fills his vision. Calm and collected as he casually unzips and takes himself in hand.
"Done this before, Johnny boy?" he asks lightly, as if he wants to know the weather and not whether Soap's sucked cock before.
"Dinnae flatter yersel' Ghost. No' my first." Soap eventually rasps out, eyeing the thick length in Ghost's hand. "I can take ye."
Ghost chuckles at that, "We'll see about that."
He taps the heavy head of his cock on Soap’s lips.
“Open up.” he orders.
God fuckin help him, Soap does, and tries to ignore the way his blood fucking sings at the single huff of approval out of the man over him
His head swims at the scent of hot skin and musk, mouth flooding with saliva at the taste of salty skin on his tongue as Ghost steadily feeds him his cock.
Part of him wants to drag his teeth against the tender flesh, just to be a brat, but there are strong hands in his hair and his eyes fall half closed.
Ghost hasn’t even taken his gloves off, still practically dressed.
At the realisation, Soap feels himself moan around the length in his mouth, Ghost's hands tightening in his hair.
“Knew you’d be good for me.” Ghost says, his voice is dark, and eyes bright in the dim light of the room
Soap can feel the sticky pool on his stomach from his cock, already angry red and steadily leaking.
“With me, Johnny.” Ghost demands.
Soap tears his eyes back to the man above him, the lighting making it seem like Ghost's eyes are molten gold.
He can tell under the mask he's smiling.
“There you are sweet'eart.”
He can’t stop the groan that comes out of him, stomach clenching at the petname.
Ghost adjusts his grip on Soap's hair, testing how much he can take before adjusting and rocking his hips forward.
“Just take it, there you go. There’s my good boy, eh?”
He relaxes his throat and breathes deep until his eyes start to water and his head swims with it. He’s already so close and he hasn’t even been touched yet, cock twitching each time Ghost bottoms out.
There's a moment, which his nose buried in the coarse hair at the root of Ghost's cock that he looks up and locks eyes with him. It's like staring at glowing coals, flickering embers held in the dark with a smouldering heat that scalds his blood.
Soap's feels his cock twitch in warning, he's so fucking close, he feels his eyes start to roll back.
But then Ghost smoothly pulls out of his mouth, leaving Soap gasping and blinking away the tears. Lightheaded and dizzy from the sudden rush of oxygen into his lungs.
“Not bad. Reckon there's room for improvement.” Ghost says, chuckling at the frustrated sob Soap lets out against his thigh. There's the soft touch of a hand through his hair, before Ghost moves away, sitting at the side of the bed. Soap throws an arm over his eyes, chest heaving with each breath.
There's the feeling of a gloved hand trailing over his stomach, making him jump.
“Nearly made a mess of yourself, though.” he hears Ghost tease.
“Fuck off” Soap's voice cracks, Christ he sounds wrecked
He looks at Ghost from under his arm, seeing his eyes trace the same path as his fingers had.
“Ye could get more comfortable, ye know?” he grumbles, causing Ghost to look over at him. As much as it had been exciting, he's starting to feel awkward completely starkers while Ghost could zip up and be ready for the tarmac.
“I look uncomfortable to you?”
The bastard is grinning, Soap can tell.
“Ye look like yer dressed for a fuckin funeral.” Soap quips, looking at the ceiling, heart still beating too fast.
“Can’t have you dying before I’ve had my fun.” Ghost teases as he gest to his feet and strips off. The pale flesh and scars are devoured by Soap’s hungry gaze as his eyes are drawn back, like a moth to a flame.
As he drops the last piece of clothing to the floor, he looks over to Soap on the bed.
“Mask stays on.” he says, the rest of him bare.
“I dinnae care.” Soap lies.
Both of their eyes tracking how his cock jumped at the idea.
Ghost laughs, not unkindly, “Slag.”
The bed shifts under him as Ghost settles at the end of it. Soap sits up on his elbows, suddenly nervous.
He's no stranger to casual dalliance, to a quick and dirty release stolen in a pub bathroom or if he's lucky someone's flat if they're generous.
But it's Ghost.
It matters. It's not something he leaves in the early hours, hidden in cigarette smoke and strangers mouths. What if it ruins everything?
"Johnny?" Ghost is looking at him, a hand circled around Soap's ankle.
"M'fine," he says without thinking, scrambling for an excuse for his sudden silence, "was jus' wondering how ye want me?"
He goes to roll over, but there's a sudden fierce grip on his hips as Ghost tugs him down the bed, keeping him on his back.
"Wanna see you." is all Ghost says.
Soap feels like his heart is lodged in his throat, as Ghost rummages around in the bedside table.
"You've done this part before, haven't you?" it's a genuine question. But there's that teasing tone to it that has Soap rolling his eyes, falling back into the rhythm of their banter.
"Oh aye, I'm a fuckin blushin virgin." he jokes, kicking out and catching Ghost in the side. "Chaste as a priest, I am."
Ghost glances up at him, the heat still in his eyes.
“Better start praying then Johnny. Won’t be after I’m done with you.“
Soap feels his breath catch at the threat. “That a promise, LT?”
Ghost doesn’t respond, instead just clicks the bottle of lube open, pouring some onto his fingers and pressing two into Soap. There's an intensity to his focus as he presses deeper until they brush against the spot that punches a groan out of Soap.
"There we are."
"Hurry it up will ye?" Soap growls. He'd been trying to ignore the dull ache of being stretched open. But now there was a steady building at the base of his spine, his breath coming in shallow, cock filling out again after flagging.
"Patience is a virtue, Johnny." Ghost murmurs.
Soap winces at the feeling of Ghost removing his fingers, looking down as there’s a pause.
“Ye alright?”
He can't help but ask.
He gets a nod in response.
“Well, come on then. Show me how nasty ye are.” he wiggles his eyebrows and revels in the small huff of a laugh from Ghost as he lines himself up.
“Might regret that, Johnny.” Ghost says, locking eyes with him.
“Regret you takin yer fuckin tim-” he cuts off in a groan as Ghost smoothly presses the head of his cock in, his other hand tightly gripping Soap's waist.
“Fuckin hell, coulda warned me.” he says to Ghost's shoulder.
Ghost hums. "Could’ve.”
“Prick.” Soap lets his head fall back. He relaxes into the feeling, letting his body adjust. Ghost waits until Soap gives him a nod before slowly sheathing himself to the root.
That lightheaded feeling is back as Soap rests his head against Ghost's sternum. That languid bloodwarm feeling of being full trickling up his spine.
“You solid?” he hears from above him.
Soap shifts a bit, feeling the ache of how stretched he was. “Aye.”
“Good.” is all the warning he gets before the first thrust knocks the breath out of Soap’s lungs. His hands come up to grasp at Ghost's biceps, groaning at the drag of skin on skin, wet heat and rushing blood.
It's not gentle, he’s sure he’ll have bruises on his hips to hide for weeks from the whiteknuckle grip Ghost has. But he could tell the bastard was holding back.
“I’m no’ made of glass, Ghost, I can take it.” he bites out.
Ghost laughs in his ear. “Careful Johnny, or I’ll ruin you for anyone else.”
The response is automatic.
“Ye already have.”
Ghost stills and Soap feels immediate panic he’d overstepped.
They hadn’t spoken about what this was.
Whether it was just a bit fun to left off steam or something more that they'd been dancing around for years.
Before he can scramble to come up with an apology, a joke to lessen the seriousness of what he’s just let fall out of his mouth, Ghost gives a snarl.
He snaps his hips forwards and Soap can swear he feels it in his throat.
The grip on his hips tightens so hard it nearly hurts as Ghost drives into him. It feels primal and possessive, heady and addicting as he rakes his nails down pale flesh, urging for more.
Ghost grabs the back of his neck, pulls him forward so he can growl in his ear.
“Made for this aren’t you, made for me.”
It isn’t a question, though Soap thinks he’s nodding. He feels dizzy with it, how much he wants this, how much Ghost wants him.
“Gonna be a good boy for me, Johnny?”
Ghost voice sounds raw, eyes burning as the meet Soap's.
“Fuck.” Soap sobs, it sounds more like a plea than an answer.
“There you are, sweet'eart, show me how well you take me.”
Soap falls back on the bed, Ghost's hand drifting from the back of his neck down to his thighs. He can feel the rough calluses on his skin, feel his teeth nearly rattle as Ghost slams into him.
It’s too much, just on this side of painful and he never wants it to end.
There's a dizzying feeling every time he feels Ghosts cock drag against him in just the right way. There's bruises blooming on his hips under the near deathgrip Ghost has on him.
“Thought about this a lot. How good you'd be for me.”
Soap doesn't have it in him to respond, he feels like he’s sinking deeper into a calm. His body goes lax and boneless, mind buzzing at the pleased growl from Ghost when his body just submits.
“Love seeing you like this Johnny, fucked brainless and still fuckin desperate for me.”
That pulls a whine out him, clenching down around the cock still driving deeper into him. He thought Ghost would be quiet, but each word of praise fills him like warm honey, mind swimming.
“Show me you can come like this, sweet'eart.”
Soap can already feel himself hurtling towards the edge, wrapping an arm around the back of Ghost's neck and pulling him close.
"Fuck, Ghost, please." he pleads.
He hears Ghost's voice in his ear, raw and rough, “That's it love, be pretty for me.”
That does it.
Soap's entire body seems to lock up for a moment, pleasure sparking through him and settling into the base of his skull with a blistering heat. His cock pulses, untouched and painting his stomach.
“There’s a good boy.” he hears Ghost murmur. He bites down on the meat of Ghost's shoulder to muffle the whine that threatens to make its way out, hearing those words.
As he comes down, dizzy still, his head lolls forward, like his strings have been cut. He dimly registers the twitch of Ghost’s cock inside him, and softly groans at the feeling of it slipping out of him spent.
Soap slumps on the bed without Ghost’s grip holding him, body heavy and lax after the orgasm that was wrung out of him. He should get up, he knows the routine. He should leave so he isn't intruding.
Instead, his eyelids grow heavy and he drifts into darkness.
When he comes back to himself, he's been cleaned up, blanket pulled over him to keep out the chill. There’s a solid weight beside him.
“Back with me?” Ghost asks.
“Solid.” his words sound slurred, but the laugh from Ghost isn’t cruel. Soap pushes himself up so he's sitting, before Ghost speaks again.
"Didn't hurt you, did I?" There is a weight to his words, even though he's clearly trying to keep the tone light.
"Reckon me hips'll have a few bruises. I dinnae mind that though." he glances down at the purple on his side. It's not quite a handprint but enough of a suggestion of one. Showers were going to be fun.
He jumps as Ghost trails a finger over one, gentle and completely at odds with what had caused them.
"I'll keep that in mind." Ghost says. There's something about his voice that's off, doesn't feel like it's hitting Soap's ears like it normally does. He looks over to ask him if he's alright. It takes Soap a moment to realise what’s different.
“Ye weren’t lyin. Yer a bonnie bastard beneath the mask.”
He gets a smirk in response, and his heart fuckin clenches with it. He still hadn’t asked what this meant, for them. He suddenly feels vulnerable, naked and tucked into the covers of Ghost’s bunk.
"Eh, sorry for passing out on ye at the end there," Soap mumbles, his ears burning.
Ghost shrugs, "S'fine. Don't mind."
Thre's a quiet, but the buzzing unease under Soap's skin doesn't settle. Just like before, he doesn't know where to put his feet, worried he'll detonate whatever this is between them.
"Do ye want me to leave?" he asks like an idiot.
“Got somewhere to be?” Ghost raises an eyebrow.
"You reckon there's somewhere I should be?" he counters with another question. It's the same dance they've done for years, always toeing the line but neither crossing. Strange to have the feeling after they've fucked like they'd die without it.
Ghost sighs after a moment, and Soap readies himself for the pushback. The return to status quo.
Instead, Ghost grabs him by his chin, holding his gaze steady.
"If I wanted a quick fuck I've got more than enough offers, Johnny. Wouldn't have risked this."
He rests his forehead against Soap's.
Their breaths merge in the space between them,
"Fucking said before, didn't I? Only you." he says softer this time, thumb absently running along Soap's jawline.
It feels like the minefields behind them. Throwing caution to the wind, Soap moves forward and kisses him.
Something in him settles when Ghost's hand shifts from his chin to cup his face, a warm feeling in his chest that burns brighter than pride as he drags his teeth and gets a nip back in retaliation.
It feels just like the normal back and forth in a strange way that makes him laugh, Ghost grumbling a bit.
"Was enjoying that." he murmurs into the crook of Soap's neck.
"Was enjoying not doing missions half mast, but ye ruined that ye fuckin bastard," Soap counters, frowning as he feels Ghost smile against his skin. He shoves him.
"Ye can't be calling me fuckin good boy in front of the others." he says seriously. As much as his blood sings with how good this all feels, he doesn't want it to effect the team, or his ability to do his job.
"I won't." Ghost says, and actually sounds like he means it.
He pulls Soap close to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pressing his face into his neck. Sleep doesn't make them wait long.
#ghostsoap#hexx fics#smut is scary af to write#and i can't write anything below 4K anymore apparently#uhh also this is the first and only smut i've written so theres room for improvement#i was reading one of jack's nikprice ones earlier and i am in fucking awe of how people write good smut
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Tom Riddles orphanage is interesting.
1920s/1930s The idea of not putting children to work was quite new. In fact there were still Workhouses until 1948.
Victorian's commonly thought that people were only poor because they are lazy, plus the well-blossoming ideas of eugenics meant poor people were probably just worse genetically. It was 'Christian values' to at least dress and feed poor children, but if you were too supportive of them they would only grow up to continue to be lazy, probably like their stupid poor lazy parents. They will go off and join the workforce at 14, so you shouldn't coddle them too early or else you'll spoil them.
Most orphanages were set up and funded by whichever rich fuck wanted to boast about how many little kids they 'help'. Some really were trying to help - but yknow... eugh. Rich people. Nothing was particularly regulated and abuse against children was accepted and even encouraged.
Plus its fresh after The Great War, poor street kids fending for themselves were hardly rare, infant mortality was high... Lots of kids and not much demand for them. If they could hurry up and grow up to join the workforce... that would be swell.
Experience of the common orphan in a common orphanage: + Crowded eating halls where they usually didn't eat well. + Beds lining the walls, no privacy, everyone in the same room. + No individuality - kids often forgot their own birthdays or names... adults rarely use them, there's too many kids to remember and they keep dying and shit, honestly who cares - if they get adopted maybe they'll be renamed anyway + Education was often light, just the basics + Sometimes they were also put to a little work beyond their own laundry and cleaning etc. + Sundays they get dressed up, cleaned up - to try and get them adopted. Trot them out like little show ponies to try and tempt some rich person. ''They aren't dirty street shits, they're nice and handsome little children who won't embarrass you.'' + In many places child abuse was just... awful. Being made to eat their own vomit, pushed down stairs, locked into rooms and forgotten about, straight up being murdered by their caretakers... if you can imagine it, it probably happened.
...Why do I say all this? Because barely any of that seems to apply to Tom's experience. That doesn't mean his Orphanage was a nice place for him to grow up... but my god, it sounds like a DREAM compared to the norm-!!!
+ Tom Riddle... had his own fucking bedroom. WOAH. + Privacy. Access to books to read. He could READ. + His own WARDROBE, where he could KEEP HIS OWN THINGS. + It's assumed other children could ALSO keep their own things, as he had stolen their stuff - and some even had PETS??? + No real sign that he is put to any grueling work. + He was calm and impolite in his own room - he isn't terrified to talk back to adults. + Though it did anger and scare him, experts were being brought in to try and evaluate his health. + He looked well. Well fed, healthy, clean, normal.
Mrs. Cole the Matron - though she says judgemental things she says and the mention of 'whacking on the nose with a rusty poker' (which I assume is basic physical abuse...?) - seems shockingly involved with the children. She knows their names, their preferences, their backstories... and despite the orphanage being poor, they take the children on a holiday every year. Even Harry thought she seemed alright.
It is BONKERS how nice it is at Wool's Orphanage. That is an intentional writing decision. They author is British, she knows basic recent British history - the 'suffering orphan' is baked into her very bones as a concept.
He COULD have been depicted as: + Just one dirty face in a room of many beds, many children, that Albus had to weave through to take him somewhere private and tell him he was different from them, he was special. + Keep the smaller rooms - but he has to share with five or so other boys... who have all moved their beds as far from his as possible. + He could have only barely even remembered his own name - there's nobody who cares to call him it anyway, so he dislikes it. + A "Yes Sir, Sorry Sir, Of course Sir" little boy - who then breaks out in joy over going to Hogwarts + ...just straight up could have been in a workhouse.
It wouldn't be far-fetched for it to be described like Oliver Twist (set in 1830s, but there was actually higher child mortality in 1930s) Or more of an Annie situation (set 1930s New York - probably better conditions than 1930s England) The Author has never shied away from displaying child suffering before. Just look at Snape and Harry... and even Neville! Yet Tom Riddle very much has an air of being the Top Rooster. + Even the adults don't know what to do with him. + He is rather comfortable as long as doctors aren't being brought in. + He has gone out of his way to MAKE that comfort for himself, through enforcing a harsh pecking order amongst the other kids. + He is, especially for the time, a bit of a brat. Talks back, snappy, sneering and scoffing, talks over adults, snatches...
That's not unreasonable of him, by the way. He IS treated unfairly due to his powers, he is a poor orphan in a world with an abundance of poor orphans... and he's just a little boy. Of course he acts out.
But he could have been made more sympathetic - and more believable, honestly - with only a slightly more harrowing depiction of his living situation than simply 'a little shabby - and the over stressed but tries-to-care Matron likes a drop of Gin.' Instead he is living better than most of the lower class.
Which to me can only mean he isn't supposed to come across as too sympathetic. He isn't a suffering orphan, he isn't miserable, he isn't abused (too badly), he isn't lonely, he isn't any of the things Harry was... despite being in a similar situation, at first glance. He is still sympathetic. Harry and Albus both thought so. But the reader isn't supposed to see his childhood as terrible. Just sub-par. We are happy he gets a chance at life at Hogwarts... ...but aren't thinking 'Oh man, of course he murdered people, he has had such a harrowing life' Snapes life was worse. Harry's life was worse. Neither of them kill.
#hp#tom riddle#wools orphanage#mywrite#hmm#hp meta#but I dont like tagging things without book quotes as meta usually#lord voldemort
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You know, the moment where Emonette wipes away some of Badrien's make up, revealing the same black vains she has hidden away underneath her scarf and then after she tries making a wish they reach her face
That actually has some massive implications the narrative just glosses over, huh?
Emonette only looked like this AFTER she tried making the wish but the black vains already reach far into Adrien's face BEFORE that.
And the thing is, we don't even see ALL of Adrien's face underneath the make up. Just this little part.
The black vains could be all over his face and neck by now and we wouldn't know because the scene literally shows us that he's wearing very good make up covering it up. Something Marinette didn't saw the need of doing before bc it wasn't bad enough yet to go to these measures. In her case a scarf was enough.
Something that for Adrien apparently stopped being an option for quite some time before the special even started. That sure explains why Griffe Noire took the cataclysm like a champ, his body was already much more damaged than Toxinelle's and he got alarmingly used to the pain.
*sigh*
I really hate being a bitch about this because Marinette's shot here is simply beautiful and such a heartbreaking piece of story-telling. I hate that the show can't let me enjoy something like this for Marinette anymore. Man, I REALLY love that shot of hers...
But for the love of God, Miraculous. If you want to give Marinette the special treatment with the striking visuals that show how bad she's got it, PLEASE just write it accordingly.
Why are you here, giving Marinette this extremely striking visual alongside the message of "it's just a little broken, we can fix it again" after the unique event of her having tried making the wish and then only letting Toxinelle openly run around with all her black vains visible?
You just admitted in the same damn scene that Adrien has long started wearing make up to cover up his own damage marks and from what little we can see his marks at least reach as far as hers. Not to mention that Marinette looked like this after she tried making the wish, the special SHOWS that this created a big leap in how big her damage got.
Adrien already long reached that level only through using his powers. That was equivalent to her getting punished for releasing the wish-making energy.
Miraculous, why are you out here visually manipulating the viewers into thinking Emonette/ Toxinelle had it "so much worse" again than Badrien / Griffe Noire, when what you actually did was cowardly hiding Adrien's damage marks underneath make up so Marinette can get the cool and deep shots?
I'm not against Marinette getting these cinematic and striking visuals, she's the main character, I KNOW.
But would it hurt you to then actually write the story accordingly? If you want her to be the one who has it worse here then actually write it being HER who has it clear-cut worse and don't just hide away Adrien's damage and seriously implied to be bigger problems AGAIN so Marinette can get the spotlight instead.
Why is this ALWAYS happening? JUST WRITE IT, DAMN IT!
#ml spoilers#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#adrien agreste#marinette dupain chang#griffe noire#Toxinelle#This show is wrecking my nerves with cowardly stuff like this#Who's holding the gun on your head forcing you into writing scenarios where Adrien seemingly has it worse but it always needs to be hidden#So Marinette can get the spotlight?#If you want the viewers to perceive her case as so much worse#Then why aren't you writing it like that from the get go??#I loved that shot of hers so much f you...#sigh
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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@missshelllo You know you can just reblog. It's easier and more practical.
But I will try to answer all your points. Keep in mind english is not my 1rst language.
But the manga was written in the 21th century. If you write a character having a sexist behavior, you treat him as him being sexist, even if it's to say it's normal for this time. A Bride's Story does that, and its story takes place near the Caspian Sea during the Russian conquest of Central Asia in the late 19th century. So NOT the most feminist place in the world. The women are still strong and developped and the sexist situations are treated like sexist situations even if they're normal and banal.
Or The Apothecary Diaries. It takes place in a fictional country based on Imperial China during the Tang dynasty, so again, not the most feminist place. And the sexist situations are called out by the author, even sometimes just in passing, even if no one can do anything about it.
(Or Mulan. The movie is not sexist and is considered extremely feminist despite taking place in a sexist context.)
It's also forgotting someone really important. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Born in 1859, who wrote A Scandal in Bohemia in 1891. In this short story, the only apparition of a character named Irene Adler, SHE OUTSMARTS SHERLOCK AND EVADES ALL HIS TRAPS. She shows a lot of independence, adaptability, and intelligence, win against a man and leaves to live her best life.
Arthur Conan Doyle wrote better female characters in 1891 than a 21th century author. Ryōsuke Takeuchi had no excuse for what they did to their female characters.
Also, Sherlock Holmes is treated as a sexist indivudual during Irene's arc. Why is he the only one? The author can called out their characters, they just choose not to when it's their favorites.
So there were about 50 women supposed to go to a dating event with only 2 men? If it was to get to know each other with a view to going further, why other men aren't there to do just that? Two men can't take care of this much women and it's a massive waste of time. It's not how it works. I don't know where to begin bc this idea is so stupid. The noble society will not force the Moriarty to organise a harem event. Even weddings are occasions for nobles to meet and chat with other people, including from a romantic perspective. Why not a tea party which goal is to meet people? It makes no sense.
Also, it doesn't answer why there's no chaperone. It's a really important thing at the time. You don't let a woman alone with another man, unless he's from your own family.
It's not just "girls alone party", It's a noble party, where the participants are taught etiquette from a very young age, and whose reputation is PRIMORDIAL. Reputation, especially for women, is extremely important. You may never get married because of this (worst fate for women of that era) because no one wants you, even if it's completely false.
Yes, women, even with etiquette, can be viscious, but they will be more subtle. They would try to do that in a way that will not hurt them. They will not act like middle-schooler kpop fan. They're adult!
And yes, some women would think they're entitled to everything, but there's a way to show that.
She's not supposed to be a strong woman going for what she want. She's supposed to be a gross individual that makes William uncomfortable with her sexual harassment. If their gender was swapped, the lady would rightfully seen as a creep, and William as a victim. It would not have been a "joke".
And it's disturbing that she is the only overweigth woman at the party, also the only woman who think harassing someone is a good idea. It's fatphobic af.
Yes, but William is mysteriously the most populair one, more than Albert, despite not being the heir and being, for the public knowledge, just a mathematician.
Even the servants get drooled all over, despite not having any statut or title.
And it doesn't explain the groupie behavior of all this women. They're educated adult.
Yeah but if you can't enter, it's not an issue if someone want to peak in. It's normal to want to lock your personnal office when you have guests. It would have not been suspicious.
I don't know what it's an answer to, but even at this time, William's plans are stupid and wouldn't work if the characters weren't Gary Sues and the world's logic wasn't bent to let them win.
William's plans don't work bc it's in the 19th instead of the 21th, it's bc it's a manga. I already talked abt this here.
But we don't see it.
I talked a bit more about this here but to be quick: we don't see what they publicly do as the Lord of Crimes.
Their last missions/arcs we saw were : Irene, the burglary, Jack the ripper, this chapter abt William/Sherlock and the commoner student, the tea party and William past.
From tome 6 to tome 9 (at least), we never saw the Lord of Crimes acting publicly, it's always in secret. So how can the public knows? And can WE knows what the public knows? How can they see him as a real person/entity when it was just a rumor before?
William makes mistakes? Really? When?
Or at least when it is treated as a mistake? I complain a lot abt him not wearing a mask while leaving a crime scene, but the story never points how absolutely fuckingly stupid it is, and the guy who caught him still thinks he's super smart and never acknoweldge what a fucking clown he was when he caught him. The famous Lord of Crime accidentally revealed is true identity to a media tycoon. And the author is not banging William's head for his stupidity. It's sound like a joke.
To go back to my example with DBD, when Edwin makes a mistake, he pays the price. When he tries to hit a powerful witch when he doesn't know how to fight, he gets sent flying; when he uses magic on a cat to force it to talk, he's stuck in a city across the ocean from home with a witch who wants revenge; when he refuses to talk to his best friend about what happened with the Cat King (bc he's figurating his sexuality in the worst situation possible), Charles is terrified and stressed out. (None of this mistakes come from stupidity or wickedness, Edwin has his own reasons to do what he does. But they're still mistakes)
At this point Sherlock is so inferior to William, I hardly believe he will be able to capture him, not if it's exactly what William want.
And William is a robot, he has no flaw, no real weakness. He's always perfect. He always has a plan and predicts everything. It's not credible and really boring. If at least the plans were really smart, and could actually work. I never have the thrill of seeing something intelligent, at best I have the writer thrill of imagining something better. I describe them often during my reviews so you can check that.
Sorry, but there is no substential difference between adult Will and child Will. Mentally, he's the same. He's still way better than anyone, even when they're supposed to ouclass him, he's still know more than it's realistically possible, he still manipulates people extremely well, he's still has no qualm torturing or hurting people he deems deserve it. He has the same personnality, can handle himself and his brother really well and has access to a lot of money despite being street orphan. Even his brother didn't change much, he's way to calm for what's happening in front of him.
The only difference is that it's way more irrealistic.
Is it treated as flaws or just quirky character traits? Did he really pay the price for that?
I don't remember the map thing so it either didn't happen yet, or it wasn't a real issue. The narcolpesy is just a joke, it never bothered him in his missions. The only women I remember he had problems with were the ones at the tea party, bc of their groupie behavior, and he wasn't the only one. Don't remember the overthink things, is it your interpretation? If it wasn't and the author really intended it like it, wasn't play like a real issue or a mere joke?
When I say flaws, I'm talking Sherlock who understimates Irene bc she's a woman and gets manipulated by her. I'm talking abt Sherlock being irascible and difficult, so much that Watson gets angry at him. Sherlock had to deal with the consequences of his actions.
To take Edwin as an example again:
Quirky character traits:
Not understanding the modern world (the only time it could have been an issue, he managed to understand it anyways despite being in a highly stressful situation)
Talking like a 1900 person
Flaws:
Not liking trying new things
His pride
His lack of bedside manners
His jealousy
The first one is light and fun, the other create problems for him and/or advance the plot. And they are, even if partially, overcome.
In Moriarty the Patriot, the plot never advance bc of William's flaws or mistakes (only when he get caught by Milverton and it's never treated as a mistake). And William... never changes. Even from when he was a kid, he's still the same.
Moriarty the Patriot Vol. 9
"En troupeau"
(translation: "in a flock")
It's only in the french version, not the english one. I don't know japanese so I don't know if it's the original intention to use words this negative and insulting toward women. The issue is, even if it's just the french translators who did a massive mistake, I had no problem believing that was just the author casually insulting women (my money on the english translators softening the term. Also the eng ver I read was fanmade).
Maybe in another manga, I wouldn't have minded. Like if the character is supposed to be a misogynist and you're supposed to think bad of them for that and not agreeing with them. But Albert is not supposed to be a sexist asshole. And given the manga's striking record in its depiction of women, I don't feel lenient.
And that's just the beginning.
(first picture of the guests)
♫ Où sont les hommes ? ♫
No reason why there shouldn't be men at the tea party. Or at least why women shouldn't be accompanied by chaperones. Etiquette was very important back then, and you wouldn't leave a woman alone with a man. The Moriartys are ONLY men to the rest of the world. No one would leave them with women alone.
Good Manners
Noble women have all received an education in good manners. They are more subject to the severity of etiquette than men. There is very little chance of seeing them throw themselves at men by elbowing each other and calling each other "primbêche" (again, only in the french version. In the eng one, it's just "these girls...")
Especially if the person in front of them is of a different rank than hers. The hierarchy is very important within the nobility and determines who you can talk to, how, who to be friends with, who to marry…
Sure, I know bc I've read hundreds of romance novels about English aristocracy but the author prides themself on depicting the real England of that period and doesn't even know that? Any webtoon whose story takes place in an aristocratic environment knows that, even when it's not the same universe as ours.
So no, aristocratic women don't behave like groupies (and of course the Moriartys have groupies, what did I expect)
It's basic for an author to do research. How many authors have you seen joke that they'd be mistaken for serial killers if you looked at their history? Do you know how long I searched for descriptions of the pain of tattoos for a fiction I'll never write?
It's crazy to put so little effort into a story that claims to be ambitious.
Servants
Nobles are raised from birth to view commoners - including servants - as inferior. Often, servants are more of a piece of scenery than actual human beings. It’s not meanness, it’s just their upbringing.
Of course, that’s the theory. There are exceptions. But that’s what they are, exceptions. Which are generally kept to oneself, and not shown publicly. Noble women won’t openly swoon over the Moriarty’s servants.
And if they ever got hurt doing something stupid, they would be more upset about their injury than about the lost work of a servant. That's what happens when people are used to having everything served on a plate since birth.
(And in this situation, the servant would indeed have been at fault. In a party with many people, an element that can easily hurt was accidentally thrown by the hip thrust of a not very thick woman? Thank goodness there was no one behind.
The protagonists obviously think that these women are wild and stupid. Why didn't they babyproof the entire property? Especially the rose garden, which is a place they know will be very busy.)
Flirting
Obviously, the woman who dares to flirt with William in an aggressive and vulgar way is fat and ugly. All the others are pretty and thin, except her. She can't be a pretty femme fatale who is used to having men at her feet and thinks that William will be the same. She must be an idiot who has the audacity to think that William will be attracted to her, whose inner ugliness is reflected on the outside. It's not stupidly fatphobic at all.
Popularity
Why are the Moriartys so popular? They are handsome but in the eyes of the general public, that's about it. They are not the only men who are attractive and have good status/wealth. In any case, their beauty is the only criteria cited to justify the obsession they are the object of (and it is NOT the most important criteria for noble society). Nothing justifies the groupie behavior of apparently all the noble ladies . They are not k-pop stars. Will is just a mathematician, not even the heir, and he is the one who receives the most attention?
There is no accounting for likes - and dislikes. If people think Jayden Revri is average-looking, I can assure you that there are women who don't swoon over the Moriartys.
The art isn't bad, but it's not good enough to rave about the characters that much. So all these compliments ring hollow. Just like in R&C
The chapter is just: look how beautiful and popular the main characters are.
(I won't talk about these ladies swooning over a math class)
Secret
William was showing off by saying that he put protection systems in his office to protect their secret. But apparently, he didn't think of a very basic one.
Locking the door.
The girls who entered his office don't seem very bright like all the women in this manga, so I highly doubt that they picked the lock (and even less broke down the door). And if these very young, naive girls managed to do it, they need to put better locks. It should be easy with a genius like Von Herder.
Speaking of him, why is the secret meeting room in the basement so poorly hidden? How did the dog (who is just a dog with the intelligence of a dog, not a spy looking for the Moriartys' secrets) get so far? Its owner too? Is the entrance to the basement so poorly guarded?
There is once again a simple solution.
A door. Locked. Hidden by a curtain or a screen. Or even the same appearance as the wall. How did they not get caught before with such miserable discretion measures? (Well, they got caught, because William and his brother are too stupid to wear a mask)
Sure, there is the wine cellar right next door. Well, they might as well not put the secret room just next to it, especially if it has no protection against intruders. Otherwise, they could have put away everything that could be compromising. And I maintain, at least a door should be put in the basement entrance.
"King's scholars"
Of course the brothers got nicknames at school because they're so cool and smart. It would have been stupid to be discreet. Especially since one was known for being stupid. And another wasn't a noble at all to begin with (he didn't get bullied for that? Lucky him)
???
How does he know it's for William specifically? They don't know they've been exposed and Milverton officially has no interest in William.
Explanations please!
Sherlock
And one booger for Sherlock, one!
Court case
I have nothing to say in particular about the trial, I don't know enough about law or how it was done at the time. For MTP standards, it's pretty good since we're shown the reasoning and it more or less holds up. Nothing transcendent (I'm pretty sure no judge will side with a street kid demanding blood, over a nobleman) but of a quality expected for this manga. The problem is elsewhere.
It's William again.
There is almost no difference between adult Will and child Will. He has the same mentality, the same habits, the same level of intelligence, the same impressive culture compared to his peers. Even considering that he lived in a bookstore and is a genius, it becomes hard to believe when he can speak and manipulate so well at such a young age and has such a vast culture. William has been perfect and superior since childhood. His adoption into the nobility, his aristocratic education and the years passed have made no difference. He is essentially the same.
(this is a problem his brother shares, being exactly the same as his adult version while he is far from having received the education necessary for it to be credible. But he is very secondary and does not have the ridiculously intelligent side)
And all this would not have been a problem if he had FLAWS. Flaws are important elements for a character, it makes them endearing and above all credible.
Look at Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives. He is very intelligent, has an impressive memory and a gigantic library of knowledge (and extremely kind despite a tragic past and strangely neither racist nor sexist despite the context in which he was raised). But if he is my babygirl, it is because he is a fucking diva (also, the other characters can shine independently of him).
William has no flaw nor weakness, no prospect of evolution, nothing. He's boring.
"The most famous trial in the world"
The newspaper tycoon only learned about this story while investigating William. Even Bond didn't know about it. So not very famous, no.
(to be fair, in french, it's just "of the century". Doesn't work either)
Cruelty
It's ridiculous how much they try to portray young William as cool when he should just be crazy. He's a kid who's 100% ready to cut up another person. The MC are only the villains they're supposed to be when it's cool and edgy, otherwise they're classic good Samaritans. When those two notions are opposite.
Higher Intelligence
You discovered his identity because he didn't think to hide himself when leaving a crime scene. Stop saying William is smart.
I repeat myself but by dint of repeating that the MC are exceptional, it has no weight anymore (especially if it is not compensated by their flaws).
Lord of Crime
Glad to see non-noble people being skeptical about the Lord of Crime but it makes no sense that he is already so famous and popular. When we see the main characters act, it is usually very discreetly, like with Jack the Ripper, or Irene. So how did he becomes so famous? The general public has no proof that he actually exists, it is just a rumor, but everyone treats him like a real person.
Bendley
A person who lacks finesse and is not very subtle. I wonder if he is sincere because it is so exaggerated but that is a question that the manga asks itself so not so much a criticism. And he is clearly treated with respect - more respect than Sherlock.
Reputation
It is sad that Milverton is supposed to be a very bad guy and not subtle (not a flaw tho), but given the situation in the US, and even in France, I can't honestly say that he is unrealistic.
In conclusion, this image I found which sums up William and his gang very well
#I swear when William get caught by Milverton#it's written less like a mistake and a lot more like someone finally saw how awesome William is#yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot#sherlock holmes#critic#moriarty the patriot critical#sherlock
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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