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reversedout-blog · 8 months ago

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Top 10 Steps To A Better Web Experience For Your Customers

When it comes to being successful online, there’s a lot that goes into building a website and making it work. You have to know who you’re trying to reach, what they want from their visit, and how you’ll keep them coming back (and converting!) once they arrive. Of course, all this can be simplified by focusing on the things that make for a better web experience for your customers—that is, the folks who matter most in every digital marketing campaign! With this list of 10 steps in mind and some diligent effort from your team or agency partner along the way, there’s no telling how far you’ll go.

Know your audience.

To make the most of your website, you need to know who you’re trying to reach.

This includes:

The problems they have

The keywords they use

Their needs and preferences

Their demographics (age/gender/location)

Their habits and buying cycle

Get customers where they’re looking.

While you’re at it, make sure to:

Use the right keywords in your online content.

Choose a domain name that’s easy for customers to remember and type into their browser.

Use a URL structure that makes sense for your site’s content hierarchy and how people search for products or services like yours on Google.

Write title tags, meta descriptions, and ALT attributes that are specific enough to help users find what they need while also being broad enough not to confuse them with another page on another website.

Use keywords.

Title: Use keywords in your title tag.

Description: Use keywords in your meta description.

Content: Include appropriate keywords throughout your content, but don’t overdo it!

Image Alt Tags: When uploading images on your website, be sure to include relevant keywords as alt tags. This will help search engines understand the contents of those images and help them rank higher when displayed on search engine results pages (SERPs).

Meta Tags: If you are using a CMS like WordPress or Magento, there is an opportunity for you to add meta tags that contain your target keywords directly into the source code of every page of your site. These meta tags can also provide additional information about how people can contact you or find other content associated with what they’re searching for—like an event calendar or blog feed!

Focus on quality and originality.

While there are many things that can make your website more user-friendly and attractive, there is one major factor that will determine whether or not the customer will have a positive experience with your site: quality and originality.

Before you even begin to create content for your site, it is important to think about what kind of impression you want to give off as an organization. Are you looking for something professional? Do you want something fun? What kind of message do you want to convey? These questions should be discussed before any writing begins so everyone knows exactly what they’re getting into. If it turns out that one writer has different ideas than another, then maybe they shouldn’t be on the same team!

Make it easy to consume content.

The first step in providing a good user experience is making sure your content is easy for the user to consume.

You should make sure your text is readable and that it’s not too long or too short. Use headings, subheadings, and bullet points when appropriate. Use white space to break up long paragraphs of text into smaller sections that are easier on the eyes. Images are also a great way to break up text while adding more visual appeal to your site!

Create an engaging experience with minimal effort from them (your customers).

For example:

Keep layouts simple without overdoing it with complex graphics or special effects.

Use simple designs so they don’t feel overwhelmed by information overload.

Add white space between elements throughout your website so they aren’t distracted by clutter.

Create color schemes with limited number of shades so there aren’t any unnecessary distractions either.

Keep it fresh.

Keep your content fresh and have a blog that is updated regularly. By keeping an updated blog on your website, you’re showing value to your customers and give them faith that you’re knowledgable in the products/services you provide. In addition, traffic to your website will increase.

Simplify navigation.

When your navigation is easy to find and use, it’s a win for your customers.

Navigation should be consistent across all pages of your site, which means you need to make sure it’s the same on each page of content. A customer may click on an article link, but when they arrive at that page they realize they have no idea what section they’re in and how to get back out again.

You also want your navigation system to be intuitive. This will help reduce unnecessary clicks by allowing people who know where they want to go easily move around without having to think about how exactly that might happen (and thus increase their chances of staying on site).

Finally, make sure all parts of the navigation are easy-to-read! This includes font size as well as color contrast ratio (which refers more specifically about how text compares with its background).

Make sure your website is optimized for search engine optimization (SEO).

Search engine optimization is the process of improving a website’s search rankings in organic (unpaid) search results. SEO experts use SEO tactics to increase a website’s visibility, traffic and ranking in the search engines.

Broadly speaking, there are two main ways to improve your site’s SEO:

On-page factors – the HTML code on each page of your site (for example, having keywords in headings and links)

Off-page factors – how other pages link to yours

Optimize for mobile and tablet devices, too.

A website that doesn’t work well on mobile or tablet will lose you business. In fact, Google has said that it takes into account the mobile experience in its ranking algorithm, so it’s not just about having a better user experience—it could also mean more traffic and higher rankings in search results!

Responsive design is by far the easiest way to ensure your site works well across all devices. Most web designers use responsive design techniques these days (as they should), but if yours hasn’t yet made the leap, now is the time!

Don’t forget about the basics and keep paying attention to the little details that matter most to your audience.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the new technology that’s available, but sometimes you have to remember that there are things you can do to make your website better without spending a lot of money or time. Some of these include:

Make sure your website is optimized for search engine optimization (SEO). This includes having keywords in your title tags, descriptions, and body content. You should also have links to other pages on your site within your text so that it can rank higher when someone searches those terms.

Make sure your website is optimized for mobile and tablet devices. If people are accessing your site from their phone or tablet, they want something that looks nice and works well with their device. You can check this by using Google Analytics to see how many people visit from mobile devices each month and/or how much time is spent on those pages versus desktop ones during this same period; if there are not enough visitors then think about ways you could improve them (such as adding more images).

If you put in a little effort and pay close attention, you can improve your site in ways that make a big difference for your customers.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “You can’t please everyone.” It means that no matter what you do or how hard you try, there will always be someone who doesn’t like it. That is especially true when it comes to websites—and especially true if your website isn’t very good to begin with.

The solution is simple: put in a little effort and pay close attention, then adjust accordingly until you’ve hit upon the best possible version of your website for your customers.

When we say “a little effort,” we mean something like 5 minutes or less per week. If each week takes 15 minutes of work (which includes research), then after 4 months of tweaking things here and there along with new content updates, you’ll have an amazing site that generates more traffic and generates more income for your business than ever before!

Conclusion

Thanks for reading! If you’re looking for more tips on website optimization and design, be sure to check out our other blogs. You can also contact us at Reversed Out Creative.

At Reversed Out Creative, we understand the challenges and opportunities presented by AI disruption. Our team of experts specializes in web design, SEO, graphic design, and digital marketing services. Reach out to us through our contact form to learn more about navigating the evolving job market and embracing the potential of AI. Together, let’s shape a future that combines human ingenuity with the power of AI.

Content source: https://reversedout.com/top-10-steps-to-a-better-web-experience-for-your-customers/

#Digital Marketing Agency Cincinnati #Digital Marketing Services In Ohio #Digital Marketing Agency Near Me #Digital Marketing Experts Near Me

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uncouth-the-fifth · 3 years ago

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Hello!! I was wondering when you'd write a general smut HC for Jon like you did for Damian

hell yeah, it's Jon day now 😤

when asked, Jon (after a lot of blushy fumbling) will claim that he had the normal teenage sex experience. He tried to have one, anyway. The occasional s/o had brought it up with him before, and Jon, desperately clinging to his human side for any sense of normalcy in his bizarre life, prematurely agreed. He soon finds out that he's barely compatible with humans in the first place. His strength alone makes the entire situation dangerous, since the premise to sex is a loss of self-control - Jon can't even stop himself from crushing his phone when he's not paying attention. Simple math.

So, he moves on to aliens. Being Superboy gives him lots of... access... across the galaxy, so he gets away with lots of things he shouldn't. Sneaking off to makeout with a girlfriend is pretty normal for teenagers, so Jon gets some points there. But flying behind Saturn to get some action in a spaceship? Not so much.

This makes Jon sound not so innocent, but he's still the gentleman we all know and love. These alien girls he goes around kissing are remembered by name and treated kindly every time Jon sees them again - he's not the type to play and toss. All he wants to do is learn about himself and other people. His sexual curiosity is definitely tied to his sense of identity, since it takes an entire saga for Jon to figure out what satisfies Kryptonians.

The answer: very, very little.

When he's hard, he stays hard, even after he cums. Jon's endurance is literally endless as long as the sun is up or light's touched him in the last day. His heat vision acts up when he's turned on, too, something he had to learn the hard way. He's probably never had a truly good orgasm in his life... (Until you, but will get to that).

But like every hard thing about being Kryptonian, Jon twists it into something positive.

Obviously, he's huge. He's aware how uncomfortable it can be for some people to handle something that big, so he's content with oral instead. Giving, that is.

Jon's mouth never tires, so he can stay between your legs until his breath runs out - which it doesn't. He picked up a couple handy tricks in space that make him a menace in bed. If Jon touches light enough and moves fast enough, his fingers can vibrate inside of you at super-speed. As he's tenderly kissing your clit, he'll blow icy puffs of air on your pussy to make you squirm. If you're cramped for room or can't find a good position, Jon can pick you up with one hand and hold your thighs around his face comfortably in the air. And if someone happens to walk in? A little super-speed goes a long way for your privacy.

There's other things about having sex that Jon learns to enjoy, too. His superhearing catches every wisp of a moan, every hitch of breath. He likes to remind you that his sense of taste is super, too ;)

Eventually, you start to feel guilty. Jon does so much for you but you're physically unable to do the same for him. Though it takes a bit of looking, there are solutions to this problem.

Star Labs discreetly develops a bracelet/collar that cancels out yellow sun energy with red. Jon's nervous to use it, but after the hundredth time you hear the little click as it snaps onto his wrist (usually before he makes love to you like a heathen), you both think of it like you would a condom or birth control. Though this means no super-vibration or limitless endurance, Jon makes it more than worth it for you both.

He's a sweet, impatient lover. Jon needs very little foreplay to get heated up, and he does a lot of whining and begging if you prolong anything. He'll scoop you off your feet and effortlessly drop you in his lap, where he'll pepper you with dovey kisses and giggle about how eager he is to feel you squeeze around him. Jon's just sassy enough to be considered on the edge of vulgar - but if you dare to dirty talk to him in return, he'll dissolve into a crimson-faced puddle and do anything you ask.

Years of being Damian's "sidekick" has given him the smallest degradation kink. One time, you'd smacked his ass with a kitchen towel and teased him for being a bad boy- only to end up bent over a counter and pounded into until your thighs were purple.

(And the spanking... the harder, the better. Pain is out of the equation for Jon, so all that's left is the nature of the act, of being punished and submitting to it. He's always forced to be the one in control. It's nice to relax and take orders for once. When he's not wearing that bracelet, the best way to turn him on is by clawing your nails up his back, over his neck, and into his hair. None of it hurts, but the sensation never fails to make Jon go berserk).

In bed, Jon's a very flexible switch. His default is bottom, since his powers always put him in charge in every other situation. After a harsh day as Superman, there's nothing he wants more than to go home and not be in charge for once, especially if it's him submitting to some filthy snuggling. Though he's always in a rush to get to the dirtiest part of things, Jon never fails to chase the bone you hang over his head. One x-ray vision glimpse of your lack of underwear makes him forget how to walk. The look you give him as you get out his bondage ropes - starved. A lot of it is about letting go and losing control for him, but just as much relies on getting some good ole fashioned attention. Jon loves to be treated like a puppy. Kiss him, coo at him, pet him, and he'll be yours.

His favorite positions are, without fail, the ones where he can hold you up. Jon's bumped your head against the ceiling plenty of times in the process, but he prefers to eat you out with your legs wrapped around his head, your whole body held up by two hands. He can maneuver you however he needs to in order to fuck you best with his mouth, and often it ends with your hands in his hair, pretzeled around his head and wailing while he devours you. Or, with your legs around his waist instead. It's a position that gives his strength the advantage, where he can easily kiss you and glide his cock into your core in the same motion.

Jon loves to take his time when you get to sex, but with his schedule and the constant calls for help, he will never mind a quickie. As long as you find an appropriate spot (aka: kitchen counters, behind the clouds in the sky, in the shower, against the front door before work, etc), Jon will satisfy you just as easily as he would with more time.

Along the way, Jon discovers that sex is his best outlet for liking his powers. After his first time, his confidence is permanently boosted. Behind those baby blues adored by the public, a dirty secret lurks: Jon knows precisely how to make you scream his name, and it has everything to do with why they call him the Man of Steel.

#jon kent x you #jon kent x reader #jon kent smut #jon kent #jon kent x reader smut #superboy x reader #superboy x y/n #superboy x you #superboy smut #superboy #dc comics smut #dc comics #dc smut #dc #smut prompts 2021 #user uncouth

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unforth · 3 years ago

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What I think a lot of antis misunderstand about the message of someone like me - as someone outspokenly pro-ship and pro-kink is...

Everyone is within their right to want to protect themselves from content that makes them uncomfortable! If you're a minor, and you don't want adults to interact with you? That's a reasonable boundary to set! Boundaries, in general, are usually healthy, appropriate, and even necessary (not always, of course, but most of the time!). Heck, I am pro-basically-everything, but I still set boundaries, and there's lots of content I support the existence of without ever having any desire to interact with myself. Like. Ever. EVER. You do you but I'll be over here, having nothing to do with it, thanks. I'm anti-censorship, and pro-fiction-is-fiction, period.

So, when people like me roll our eyes and go, "God, why are all these people making ridiculous DNIs? Don't they know how pointless this is?" we're not saying "Don't set boundaries."

You absolutely should set boundaries, for your mental health, comfort, and protection.

We're saying - okay, well, maybe I shouldn't speak for everyone - but, I'm saying, "why are people who only feel comfortable within such narrow boundaries on a website like Tumblr?"

This is the fucking anti-boundaries website! It has reblogging functions you CAN'T TURN OFF. The instant your post leaves your blog? You lose all control over it! Even if you delete the original, you can NEVER get rid of those reblogs! So if you don't want certain types of people interacting with you? Short of hard-wiring that information into the very nature of the post (like, as an enormous watermark that covers your entire piece of artwork) you will never, on Tumblr, be able to set your boundaries, enforce those boundaries, and have them respected.

It's impossible, and it's not because everyone on Tumblr is selfish, or mean, or disrespecting you personally. It has absolutely nothing to do with you! The vast majority of Tumblr users see something they like - and like it for any of a million or more different reasons - and then reblog it without every considering the existence of the original poster beyond MAYBE noticing their username at the top of the post.

They won't check your DNI.

They won't know your squicks.

They won't remember your triggers.

Tumblr is not, nor will it ever be, a safe space.

You cannot, and will never be able to, control the behavior of the Tumblr userbase in the interest of protecting your own personal limits.

It is impossible to set and maintain personal boundaries on Tumblr.

People who say, "god, why do people have these DNIs" aren't saying, "you should be comfortable with everything and if you're not how DARE you," we're saying, "there is a fundamental mis-match between your desire to set boundaries, on the one hand, and the social media platform you've chosen, on the other."

There ARE platforms where it's possible to set boundaries. Discord, Pillowfort, Wordpress, even Facebook, have more functionality for any given individual regulating who interacts with created content and how they can interact.

THIS IS NOT THAT PLATFORM.

If you want to be able to strictly police your boundaries, you are in the wrong fucking place. Anything you post on here, could, at any time, wildly escape containment, get taken entirely out of context, end up on the blog of a domme, or a furry, or a parent, or your grandmother, or, or, or.

If you want to have strict control of your content, your blog, and who you interact with?

You should not be on Tumblr.

You are just setting yourself up to get hurt...and then you blame everyone else when it happens, even though the issue is the mis-match caused by your decision to be on a website that is a total free-for all. YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE, and then you get mad...at the people already here...for not conforming to your expectations. That's a YOU problem, not an everyone else problem. It's like you barged into a Pride parade and went, "Wait why are all these queer people here? And why is there a Parade? I'd rather just hang out with my own friends in a much smaller event CALL OF THE PARADE I DON'T LIKE IT." You sound like a child, and an idiot. Congrats, there are clowns at the circus, what a shock! If you didn't want the queers, if you didn't want the clowns, if you didn't want strangers interacting with you, if you wanted to set and maintain boundaries, then you failed the instant you came on Tumblr. Tumblr is not a website designed for this. End of story.

Have safe spaces. Set boundaries. I encourage you. Heck, I beg you. Having places you feel safe and surrounding yourself with people who respect your boundaries is stupidly important, no matter how young or old you are, how vanilla or kink, how anti- or pro-ship. But it cannot be done it here, and the expectation that it CAN is what so often leads people who are actually behaving like bullies to believe themselves to be victims.

So, like, if this describes you? If you want strict boundaries, and to have certain types of people not interact with you?

The best thing you can do is leave Tumblr, and find your communities elsewhere.

I promise, everyone will be happier if you do.

(and before you say, "but all the things I want are also on Tumblr!" it is...so stupidly easy to make a message board, or create a Discord server. I'm not saying don't have fandom spaces that suit you! I'm not saying you don't belong in fandom! On the contrary, PLEASE do things that bring you joy - but do it in a way you're comfortable with! You're entitled! You deserve it! And you will never be able to here! EVER. This is NOT that space, and you and those who feel as you do should create your own. For your OWN safety, first and foremost, because you deserve a space where your boundaries are respected. And you can't here. This website is explicitly designed to prevent bloggers from being able to protect their boundaries! Expecting your boundaries to be expected here is like going to a field of wildflowers and saying, "ONLY queen anne's lace here all other flowers DNI" and being shocked and personally offended when there'sother flowers all over the fucking place. You can't control what flowers are in the field. Tumblr is a field of weeds and they will grow like crazy, everywhere, no matter what you try to do to stop them. Because that's Tumblr's nature. So STOP TRYING. Go somewhere that you CAN prevent that, and tada, you'll be safe!)

#unforth rambles #i saw something that made me salty #and ended up spending 20 minutes writing this instead of doing any of the billion things i should be doing #antis are herbicide in the tumblr wildflower field #if you don't want weeds get out of the meadow #go some place where you actually CAN control the growth #pot a plant #put it by your window #cultivate it and protect it #you'll be happier #and you'll be safer #and so will all the weeds you cut down for absolutely no fucking reason #i'm so tired #ya'll can reblog this is you want #if it leads antis to me then i'll deal #if i'm lucky they'll just block me #if i'm super lucky maybe they'll even fucking listen #and stop expecting rain to be snow #or the wild flowers to stop growing #you came to the circus and shock there are clowns here

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literaila · 4 years ago

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this undeniable irritable space

spencer reid x reader

this is part 2 to space, which is about a “clingy” reader and a spencer with a need for “space”

and you should probably read that first.. but um you dont have to i guess? if you dont want to?

warnings: angst. lots of angst. spencers really angsty. really really. um.. theres a panic attack so if thats triggering please dont read please. its really rushed, and a lot longer than planned. so? sorry if it sucks. enjoy.

“I love her.”

Insecurities were hard to shake.

Y/N had always had that problem. The things that she despised about herself stuck to her skin like germs. Germs that crawled up her neck and into her mouth and under her skin until they were so far back, so deep inside that she couldn't reach them.

She couldn't get Spencer's words out of her head.

They had talked it out. Spencer reassured her that he loved touching her, that he wanted to feel her hand in his, any opportunity he got. They had decided that what had happened turned out to be a miracle in disguise because now neither of them were afraid. Touching was the way they loved each other, and there weren't any boundaries left.

That didn't mean that Spencer's words just drifted off into the abyss.

Now they seemed even more stuck to Y/N skin, implanted into her thoughts. Y/N knew that she shouldn't care about what he said, he had repeatedly shown her how much he loved touching her in the couple of days that had passed. He made sure to kiss her any opportunity he could, they were constantly cuddling, whether that be in bed while making dinner, on the couch watching a movie, in the shower. There were no limits to their constant clinginess. Both of them loved it, and they couldn't get enough.

But that didn't mean that there wasn't any fear.

Y/N worried that Spencer had just said all of that as to not hurt her feelings, that in reality he didn't like touching her, and he just wanted to make her happy because that's who he is, he never wanted to disappoint anyone, always wanted the best for the people he loved.

It was one of the things Y/N loved most about him, one of the things that drew her to him in the first place, she could see how much he loved all his teammates just by the way he paid attention to them, by the way, he knew exactly how everyone liked their coffee, by the way, he always made sure to thank Garcia anytime she did anything to help, by the way, he always checked on Derek after a case, to make sure it hasn't affected him too badly. Spencer showed it by loving JJ and Henry constantly, he showed it by making sure Hotch wasn’t the last one in the office every night, by listening to Rossi and adding on when he thought it was appropriate. Spencer showed his constant love for everyone around him every day. It was what made him so approachable.

But it also caused Y/N a lot of worries.

She was worried he was so focused on making everyone- making her- happy that he wasn't giving himself the things he needed. She didn't want Spencer to let her cuddle him and kiss him and love him just to make her happy, she didn't want him to pretend to be comfortable even if he wasn't.

So she watched him.

She hoped he didn't notice the way she watched him.

She was constantly looking for a wince, a little second glance, an uncomfortable smile, an irritated look, anything that would prove that what she was doing was wrong.

Apparently, her profiling skills aren't up to scratch though because she didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Though there was still a tiny part of her that couldn't believe it, just couldn't accept it, she had to keep searching, she wasn't going to miss anything like she did the last time.

“Sometimes though- I just- I want some space”

***

Spencer wasn't oblivious.

Obviously.

He was a genius, and he was prone to remembering things. Which means he noticed when Y/N started watching him. He saw the way she was more cautious in touching him, the way she watched his face more, the way she closed her eyes every time he held her like she was afraid it would be the last time.

He felt terrible.

The things he had said should have never affected their relationship, they were never meant to affect their relationship. In all honesty, he had only said them as a way to vent, as a way to blame something about how stressed he was feeling. And Y/N should have never heard any of it.

It was a ridiculous thing to say anyway as if Spencer could ever live without constantly feeling the warmth and reassurance in Y/N touch.

She wasn't mad, she had made that much clear, but Spencer still couldn't help but worry that she was still upset about what he had said. He was still upset about it so how couldn’t she be?

The hesitation, the crease in her brows when they were millimeters apart, the way she was trying to find the truth in his eyes every time she looked at him, it all made him feel a million times worse.

But there was something about tonight. Tonight was making it worse.

The team had decided to go out together, happy to have a break from dead bodies and insane people. It wasn't rare for them to go out, especially after a hard case, it was strange though that they’d had multiple days off in a row. When Emily had suggested going to one of the bars close to the office as a way to keep the streak going, no one had protested. They all seemed a bit happier.

Of course, the night had been spent checking their phones constantly and talking about their jobs, but that also wasn't unusual.

Spencer was having a difficult time though. Y/N and he had spent their days at the office going over paperwork and sneaking glances at each other from their desks and spent their nights cuddling and making out, laughing while making dinner and savoring as much time together as possible. In some weird way they seemed closer now, but even more afraid. Neither of them mentioned it though, both of them trying to avoid as much confrontation as possible.

But what made Spencer's night difficult was touching.

Derek, Penelope, and Y/N had all decided to make their way to the small makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room- after a few drinks of course- and while Y/N had dragged Spencer out too because there was no way she was going to let him just sit back and watch, he had eventually made his way back to the table where Emily, JJ, Hotch, and Rossi were sat content.

But he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, the way she laughed at both Derek and Garcia, the way her eyes were lit up in happiness, the gentle sway of her hips as she danced to the beat... And the way her face was thrown back and glowing under the dimmed lights of the Bar.

She was beautiful.

There were lots of other eyes on her as well, both men and women staring directly at her, all of them never wanting to look away. It didn't seem like she noticed or she just didn't care, because usually, she wasn't prone to direct spotlight. Either way, she was the catch of the night.

Spencer didn't care about the eyes on her, while he was known to get jealous from time to time, he didn't mind the eyes, they only proved that she was gorgeous, and all his. He knew that.

What Spencer did mind though, was the touching. Both, Derek and Garcia, touching her, freely, her touching back, freely. It wasn't jealousy, Spencer was well aware that neither Derek nor Garcia had any interest in being with Y/N, and even if they did Spencer knew that Y/N was happy with him. It was the way she didn't mind touching them, and they didn't mind touching her.

There was no hesitation in her eyes when she threw her arms around Derek's neck and swayed her hips with him. There wasn't any searching when she looked him in the eyes, just laughter, and joy. When Garcia wrapped her arms around Y/N waist and bopped her head with her, Y/N didn't make any move to check to see if Garcia's body language was off.

She was so carefree with them, so happy, never scared.

It only seemed to make Spencer feel worse. Because she wasn't carefree like that with him, she had to check to make sure he was comfortable with her wrapping her arms around him, she had to check his eyes for any hint of anything but happiness, she couldn't just touch him without checking first. And it was all his fault.

He wished there was a way to take back his words, to simply erase them from existing. He wished she hadn't heard him, he wished that he could have said anything else. Because touching was her way of loving, and he knew that. He knew that she showed her passion and appreciation with her body, with her warm hands, and strong arms, with her legs that were never too far from his. He’d always known that she loved touching others. And the words that came out of his mouth, the stupid words he’d blurted out about space, they were untrue, they were just an attack on her and himself. And they had ruined the carefree way she loved him.

He wished she wasn't afraid to show her love for him.

Spencer sat back in his chair with a glare in his eyes and a frown on his face, angry at himself, but never angry at her.

“Reid?!” Rossi said, louder than the first two times he had called his name and Spencer didn't seem to notice.

Spencer looked over at the four of them his face not wavering from the angry expression he had.

“Woah, Kid. You alright? With the look on your face, we might be profiling you as our next unsub.”

Spencer could tell they were profiling him, and he could see Emily look behind him as if she knew something he didn't. “Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking did you know that around 1.7 million people visit the emergency room due to assault and-”

It seemed that the only thing he could do was take his mind off of it. And annoy his coworkers.

***

There was something off with Spencer. Y/N had noticed it yesterday, after leaving with Penelope to get lunch. She couldn't tell what was wrong, but he seemed to have a frown on his face more often than not. And she figured she could just be blowing it out of proportion, maybe she had just seen him smiling so much in the last couple of days she wasn't used to seeing him without a grin or a smirk or a genuine smile.

Still, something seemed off.

He was mostly fine at home, he never looked upset when they were doing something, but as soon as she left the room and came back the frown was there. It always disappeared quickly, but it still concerned her.

She asked him about it before they had left for the bar, “Is something up baby?” she had said, but he just shook his head and turned around so she couldn't see his face. She tried to pretend that was a normal answer.

Now usually they talked out their problems, usually, they didn't have any problems at all. But not having problems means you don't stay used to talking them out, and it seemed that both of them were out of practice.

When they got to the bar, both of them were happy, hand in hand sitting down with their friends and enjoying yet another night off. The bar was warm and familiar to all of them, and they were all perfectly comfortable.

As the night when on Spencer seemed more and more upset. He never said anything weird, never did anything unusual that tipped Y/N off. But that small frown was still on his face, and he seemed less and less inclined to join in the conversation with all of them.

It wasn't really bad until Y/N had come back from dancing with Penelope and Derek, all of them sweaty and exhausted, ready to down another beer or two. Spencer had tried to smile at Y/N but knowing him as well as she did, it was clearly forced. And she could see the closed-off look in his eyes, almost as if he was looking right through her.

She patted his leg and offered him a hesitant smile, hoping her eyes were conveying the message she was trying to send to him. He only looked at her though, still wearing the same fake smile.

Y/N wondered if something had happened while she was on the other side of the bar if someone had said something, or he had remembered something. But Spencer never said anything so neither did she.

The rest of the team were smiling and laughing, and none of them seemed to notice Spencer's closed-off body language and the look in his eyes, and the small frown, so Y/N figured she was just making it up. Her insecurities were just getting the best of her and telling her there was something wrong.

Like they always did.

Though she did try to keep the touching to a limit, if Spencer was feeling off there was more of a chance he didn't want to be bothered or touched. The insecurity telling her he didn't want to be touched, only seemed to get louder, voicing its opinion, and making her sit her legs leaning away from him, her thoughts filled with not making him uncomfortable.

***

As the night went on Spencer was the same, frowning, distant, and closed off, And as the night went on Y/N stayed the same, cautious, worried, insecure.

Their moods seemed to compliment each other, almost as if one of them was upset the other one had to be as well.

Both of them hoped everything would be fine when they got home.

Clearly, the entire team was trying to keep in their yawns, trying to keep the conversation alive, but Garcia looked practically dead, and everyone was speaking in a whisper.

The bar had cleared out, with only some young college kids still out at two in the morning. When Hotch pointed that out and then said that they all looked too old to be counted as a college kid- which Rossi took offense to making the rest of the team laugh- they decided to call it a night.

Derek had to practically drag Garcia off of the table she was drooling on, and Y/N helped him get her in the car. JJ and Emily decided to share a cab home, both of them waving everyone goodbye before heading off. Rossi and Hotch both reassured that everyone would be alright before getting into their cars and going home. Derek kissed Y/N on the cheek and pretended to kiss Spencer before driving Garcia home.

When it was just Spencer and Y/N, Y/N looked at him and asked “Are you going to drive, or am I?” Spencer, whose eyes looked even more tired than usual, smiled at her- for real this time which Y/N noted- and said,

“Legally I don't think you’re allowed to drive.”

Y/N yawned and handed him the keys, too tired to come up with a snarky response.

They both got in the car, basking in the warmth the heater provided on a cold night. Y/N laid her head against the seat while Spencer put the car in drive, so they could head home.

It wasn't long before Y/N fell asleep. Lulled by the quiet engine and dark night.

Spencer fonded at her, listening to her soft breathing and smiling silently to himself. Sometimes, he thought, he wished it was just the two of them forever. It seemed that if he could just spend the rest of his life alone with her everything would be alright. Everything was always alright when he was alone with her.

It was a short drive to their apartment, and while Spencer was hesitant to wake her, he knew that sleeping in the car wasn't good for avoiding exhaustion, and he wanted to know she was safe in bed with him.

He carefully opened her door, running his thumb over her cheek, before gently picking her up bridal style, and feeling thankful they lived on the first floor of the apartment complex so he didn't have to carry her up the stairs.

It was hard for him to keep his eyes off her sweet face as he walked to their door, but he didn't want to drop her so he managed to. He unlocked the door, surprised he could even do it with her in his arms. What he didn't notice was her eyes carefully opening and staring at him.

“You’re so striking.”

Spencer quickly looked down at her, his steps halted in their living room, shaking her only slightly, he was surprised by her words, he was surprised that she was even awake.

He cleared his throat trying to not look so surprised, while she giggled at him. “T-thank you, I didn't realize you were awake, I wanted to let you sleep.”

Y/N yawned, bringing her hand to her mouth, then looked back up at him smiling while he opened the door to their room, “I know” she said, keeping her eyes on his soft face.

He gently laid her down in bed, gestured for her to stay there while he headed to their closet. Y/N thought about the way he was so gentle with her, and the way he didn't look as upset as earlier.

Spencer brought her some pajamas and helped her change into them, having already changed into his, Y/N couldn't help but almost fall asleep while he did this, she knew that he would take care of her, and she felt so safe with him and so tired.

Spencer smiled at her, kissed her forehead before moving around the bed to get to his side.

“Spencer?” he heard softly from three feet away.

“Yes?” he said only slightly louder than Y/N.

There was a slight pause before she said “I missed you tonight.” in only a whisper.

“I was with you Y/N…” Spencer felt her move closer to him, cuddling into him and resting her cheek on his arm as to use it as a pillow. He almost thought she was asleep before she made a quiet sound and shook her head, her breathing slowing down and her face blank.

Watching her, Spencer knew that, even if he didn't want to, he needed to talk to her.

***

The next morning, Y/N had slept amazing, and Spencer had only gotten a few hours.

He couldn't stop thinking about what to say to Y/N without making her feel bad or making himself seem like the victim.

For a genius, he was terrible at being in a relationship.

When he wasn't thinking he was staring at Y/N cuddled upon his arm, her breaths constantly reminding him how much he needed and appreciated her.

And when Y/N woke up she could tell there was still something off. There was a feeling in the room, a feeling she didn't like. The anxiety that was building up in her chest was causing her to panic, it felt like a rope was being tied over her lungs getting pulled tighter and tighter the longer the silence went on. Spencer wasn't in the room, his side of the bed wasn't made, and there was something wrong.

This time Y/N knew there was something wrong, she could feel it when she breathed in trying to provide any relief to her chest. She could feel it when she stood up and felt her body sway, her eyes going blurry then black and when she had to sit back down. She could feel it again when she stood up without feeling lightheaded and felt goosebumps all over her skin. She felt it when she stepped out of their room, not finding Spencer in the bathroom, and saw him sitting down at the table.

Everything was fine yesterday she thought, why was she freaking out, everything was fine yesterday they were smiling and laughing and they cuddled. Everything was fine yesterday she couldn't be freaking out today because everything was still fine.

She couldn't get the air to her lungs.

Spencer didn't notice her.

She could feel the tears pricking in her eyes, reminding her how weak she was, reminding her of all the panic attacking her body. She could felt the rope get tighter.

Her eyes got blurry as the tears she tried hard to keep in got bigger.

She was standing in the middle of the room, freaking out, trying so hard to be quiet, trying so hard to not cry, trying so hard to just breathe. She just needed to breathe. If she could breathe she would be fine.

And that was when Spencer noticed her.

He figured she wouldn't be up for a couple more hours at least, while he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep, he knew that she would need a lot more than him. So he got up, he didn't want to wake her up with his relentless moving, and his restless thoughts.

He thought she’d be asleep for a couple more hours.

But his girlfriend was standing in the doorway of their room, her face frozen her eyes wide, her entire body looked like it was closing in on itself, and she was desperately holding on to the doorway like it was the only way to keep herself up.

She looked terrified.

He had no idea what had happened.

Spencer got up, almost knocking the chair over with how quickly he moved, and going over to her, trying to take in everything that was in front of him.

Y/N couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face, and as Spencer grabbed her face, she gasped trying to grab onto the air she knew was right in front of her face. It didn't work. She tried again, and again and again, she was breathing in and out with so much force Spencer could hear her voice catch every time.

She was having a panic attack.

She couldn't breathe.

Y/N could see Spencer's lips moving, but the rope was pulling tighter and tighter and all she wanted was to breathe, she just wanted to feel the air in her lungs, she just wanted the rope to stop pulling, to stop pulling pulling her away and she just wanted to listen to Spencer, and she didn't know what was wrong with her but she couldn't

breathe

And everything was blurry, and she could feel the tears running down her face, and she felt like she was suffocating from the inside out and suddenly she was on the floor.

Spencer helped her sit down, trying to talk to her, trying to figure out what was wrong, trying to understand.

He moved her head between her knees, needing her to stop hyperventilating, if he could get her breathing then he could figure out how to help her more.

It broke his heart to see her so scared, to see her eyes look so terrified, to feel so helpless with no way to help. He watched the tears run down her face over and over, and he tried to wipe them away but it was pointless because she couldn't stop crying.

She was still hyperventilating, still trying to breathe, still trying to listen, still still still

And then she was asleep.

***

Y/N was fine when she woke up. Spencer had freaked out when she went unconscious, had checked her pulse over and over again looking for any sign that something was wrong.

But within a minute her heart had slowed down and her body had stopped shaking.

She was fine.

When she woke up, her eyes were sore and everything seemed loud.

Spencer explained to her that she had had a panic attack, he explained that she had fainted, but she was alright, you’re alright he assured her.

“I think your body was building up stress, I think you needed some sort of release from all the stress, I’m not really sure but everything is normal now, do you feel alright? Is something wrong? Do we need to go to the hospital? I need you to tell me you’re alright-”

This went on for a while, and Y/N told Spencer she was okay over and over again until he finally stopped freaking out.

They sat in silence for a while.

It was silent until Spencer decided to speak up again.

“Y/N... What happened?”

That was a loaded question. And it took her a minute to answer, Spencer watched as she stared at the wall before finally speaking.

“I could feel something wrong when I woke up. And- and-” she paused and swallowed trying not to cry at the memory “You were gone, and I just could feel something wrong and so I started worrying- and… I’m not really sure what happened after that.”

As soon as she was finished Spencer intervened.

“I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep last night and I didn't want to wake you so I went to go think somewhere else. I’m sorry I wasn't there.”

“No Spence, it's not your fault, just a lot of anxiety is all.”

Spencer's eyes were on her face, his hands holding hers, trying to make her feel better, trying to make it all better. They both knew there was something wrong.

“Anxiety about what?” He asked quietly, only a whisper, still looking right at her.

“I-” Y/N tried to think, tried to come up with a good way to explain, tried to come up with something that would help him understand. And eventually, she decided to just tell him the truth. “There's been something wrong, yesterday, I could tell there was something wrong, and when I woke up and I felt bad, I was worried, mostly about you and I just” she paused, finally looking at Spencer, “I think we need to talk.”

Spencer swallowed hard, and nodded, looking down at the floor. They both just sat there for a minute, thinking, just thinking. Neither of them knew how to start but they both knew someone had to.

Eventually, Spencer took the risk. “I don't think we talked enough last week… about what happened. I think we both just- decided? That everything was alright but I think we need to talk some more?”

“Yeah- yes. We do.”

Spencer got up off the bed, pulled her hand up gently and, moved her with him to the couch. He said he was going to make some tea, and get her some pain medication, and then they would finally talk.

***

“I’m- I’m not really sure where to start.” Y/N said looking down at her coffee mug.

Spencer sighed “I think I need to start with I’m sorry.” Y/N made a noise and started to talk but Spencer interrupted “No, really Y/N. What I said wasn't meant to hurt you, I never want to hurt you, but I did. And I’m sorry.”

“Spence, it's not your fault, honestly I know I wasn't supposed to hear, and I know you didn't actually mean it, we talked about it last week-”

“But that's the thing, if we had really talked about it last week like actually talked about it, you wouldn't be scared to touch me.” He looked at Y/N, almost as if he was daring her to disagree.

Y/N was surprised, and she stammered out “I’m- I'm not scared to touch you!”.

Spencer stared at her, his face blank and unmoving. Y/N started to get even more nervous and her hand came up to mess with her hair, a clear tell to her lying.

“Well, not really scared,” Y/N looked down feeling guilty, “I- I just don't want to make you uncomfortable.” She said softly, making Spencer smile at her shy voice.

“You don't make me uncomfortable Y/N.” He said, grabbing one of her hands, the other lifting her chin so she would look at him, he gave her a sad smile looking into her eyes. “I wish I had made that clear, you don't make me uncomfortable. You never ever have. What I said was a lie, that's all it was, a lie.” Y/N almost interrupted him but he moved his hand from her chin to her cheek causing her to go silent before continuing “If I could go back and take back those words, and tell myself how much of an idiot I was-” she almost interrupted him again before she put his hand jokingly on her mouth and stopped her once again “I am a genius, but I was an idiot. You’re my entire world, your hands provide me with more light than the sun ever could. And I promise, hey look at me” he said when she looked down flustered at his words, “I promise what I said was a lie.”

He stopped to smile at her, finally feeling her relax under his hand. Spencer leaned in to slowly kiss her, to slowly show her that he meant what he was saying.

When they broke apart Y/N felt breathless.

“Spencer, it's not that I didn't believe you..” Y/N saw the look Spencer gave her and sighed “exactly.” she emphasized “I believed you, but I was worried that maybe you were just saying those things to make me feel better- hey” she said when Spencer tried to interrupt her. “You got to speak now it's my turn. I just I’ve never wanted to make you uncomfortable. And I was worried that you would be, if I- I don't know- like? Touched you too much? If that makes any sense..” she shook her head trying to come up with a better way to explain to him how she felt.

And Spencer waited, holding her hands and waiting to hear exactly what she had to say.

“I didn't want you to feel like you needed space again. And I know you say that you never actually needed space, but I just wanted to be sure. So I paid more attention and I was hesitant because I wanted to make sure you were actually okay with it- and why are you looking at me like that?!”

Spencer smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her forehead, “You’re rambling sweetie.” he said softly, still looking at her like she was the world.

Y/N felt trapped in his gaze, it was so strange to her that she could be crying and passing out and then completely fine a half an hour later all because of him. It was so strange that he had so much power over her emotions. It was so strange that he could look at her like that and make her feel as shiny and bright as the sun.

It made her scared and so so excited, and she was lost for a moment.

They both stared at each other, almost like it was the first time in days.

“Hey wait-” Y/N said suddenly knocked out of her lovesick gaze “What was wrong yesterday? You were acting strange, and that's why I was so worried in the first place.”

Spencer sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyes, he felt ridiculous just thinking of how he felt yesterday at the bar, but he was going, to be honest with her.

“When you were dancing with Derek and Garcia, I just- I felt uh angry?” Spencer said, sounding embarrassed, and closing his eyes as to not see her reaction.

“Were you jealous?” Y/N asked, and Spencer opened his eyes to see her brow furrowed and confused.

“Not exactly, I just felt angry that you weren't scared to touch them... Like you never hesitated with them. And I just was wishing you were still like that with me, and there was a lot of anger directed at my stupid-”

Y/N stopped him with a kiss, not wanting to hear anything else about the way he felt about himself. She thought it was crazy he was angry at himself for just feeling.

“You shouldn't be angry, and you shouldn't feel bad. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable- you’re allowed to just feel things, Spencer.” Y/N said in a small outburst.

“I know. It's just ridiculous that I’d ever think I felt like that. And anyway, you believe me now right?” He asked looking right at Y/N making sure whatever she replied with was truthful.

“Yes, I know I’m the sun blah blah blah-”

Spencer stopped her by throwing her back against the couch.

Y/N squealed as he tickled her, straddling her so she wouldn't let go.

“You are the sun, you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen-”

“Stop stop! That-” Y/N gasped “that tickles!” she said laughing, as Spencer continued to torture her.

“That's kind of the point sweetheart”

“Stop Spencer! Uncle! Uncle! I believe you- just-” she giggled squirming under him “stop!”.

They were both breathless and laughing by the time Spencer was finally done.

Smiles were permanently stuck to their face as they looked at each other, as they finally felt like they were finished with their problem, as they finally talked.

The way they solved their problems wasn't ideal, and they were going to have to practice and learn. But they loved each other, and that was enough to keep them both going.

“Y/N you are the most beautiful thing ever. And now that I’ve known you, I don't think I could ever live without you. I hope to be stuck with you for the rest of my life.”

Y/N smiled at Spencer's words, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on top of the world.

“Well Spencer, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And I know I’m gonna be stuck with you for the rest of my life…” she stopped and smiled at him teasingly “unless of course, you need space..”

Spencer stared at her shocked for a moment, before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, as she squealed and laughed for what felt like the 10th time today.

“What are you doing?!?” Y/N shrieked, mock hitting him on the back.

“Oh don't worry my dear, I’m just going to show you how much space I really need..”

A/N:

I: am open for requests :)

thank you for reading. i think you’re so beautiful. take care of yourself lovie.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagines #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds x reader

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merotm-a · 2 years ago

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you know .... ever since i remade + switched from being t//wst main to fandomless i’ve had some things i wanted to get off my chest about it all. and i think i’m gonna do it now because it does affect my ability sometimes to get on and write on this blog. pls go ahead and blacklist ‘vent.’ if ur not interested in seeing this post but i just have had enough of thinking on it.

this is like a rpc callout tbh

for me, personally, i can’t enjoy the series or writing in the verse as much as i did before bc of things that go on in this rpc sometimes (not all the time or at least not that i’m aware of nor do i wanted to be made aware of more than i already know).

first of all, the division in this place is terrible for lack of a better term. if u end up being ostracized from one group you’ve essentially lost like half of the potential writing partners in this space. if this fandom were bigger, getting pushed out or cut off or what have you wouldn’t be so bad but it’s not a big fandom so it’s like ‘ oh well ’ if that happens. secondly - and idk if it’s just bc i only talk to like two or three people consistently enough so i’m out of the loop or whatever - the amount of ooc shit talking that goes on behind the scenes away from the public eye is frankly appalling. there is no reason why there are little groups dedicated to talking shit about other rpers in the fandom. if you have a problem with someone, you can go talk to them.

if you don’t like someone, just block them or blacklist their tag or whatever you need to do to have a peace of mind. that’s what i do when my mutuals interact with ppl i don’t like or i have blocked. i just move on. y’know, like a normal person. literally no excuse to be in dms saying awful things about people or making people feel shitty like they might get blocked just because they disagree with you on something or for whatever other silly little reason that may be ( like you just talk to someone they don’t like or have a problem with ).

why is there always this constant feeling of walking on egg shells ??? the tumblr rpc can be toxic; i know i’ve been here since like 2012. but this is on a different level since i’ve been on this platform.

regarding the pro vs. anti stuff that goes on in this rpc ( i literally never came into contact with this stuff much until i got here ). now, i am personally someone who adheres to the ‘you do you’ mentality. i have content i won’t write and that i wouldn’t be fine seeing from my mutuals hence why i either unfollow or block someone if they write said content; i leave people alone to write what they write. THAT ALL BEING SAID, this is a public platform, so when you write stuff that is publicly frowned upon, you really shouldn’t be that surprised when people have issues with it or give it attention bc, you know, you’re putting it out there. people being rightfully uncomfortable when you write sensitive subjects isn’t “”harassment”” and certainly doesn’t make you a victim.

on the flip side, i personally think that you can’t just jump to conclusions based on what someone writes right off the bat since quite a few of us also write for fandoms that are violent or have darker topics woven into the narrative and doing so can come across as being bad faith and lacking nuance. a lot of my evaluation is based on the intention of the writer ( why are you writing this ? are you doing it respectfully ? do you really HAVE to incorporate this into your character / story - if it’s original for an oc or hc for a canon ). frankly, if you’re writing downright terrible things because you get off on it then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that people will criticize or ostracize you; you’re not treating the subject matter with the appropriate time and respect it deserves. and not only that, instead of writing such a thing privately, by writing it on a public platform you are subjecting it to people who could potentially read it and judge it.

saying that i support murder because i have a character that kills someone is downright stupid and it takes away any nuance in this line of thinking.

everyone does have a responsibility to curate their own space to navigate the internet as much as possible but they also have a responsibility to not subject others to unwarranted, unwanted and potentially triggering content ( either through having a proper tagging system or writing this stuff privately or on another website ).

the pressure to have labels in this rpc is dumb imo because they really don’t explain everything that person is thinking or what they actually support. you can be an ‘ anti ‘ but still be okay with writing a toxic dynamic between two characters provided it’s done right. you can be ‘ pro ‘ but not support certain things like CP or n*ncon. it’s dumb. it’s pointless. idk why this rpc is rampant with this issue in particular but it’s one of the main reasons that so much shit goes on.

#「 ♕ 」 —— ❝ i am crazy but i am free ❞ » ooc.#vent.#( i'm leaving the read more on but if you want to reblog this just let me know and i will remove the read more so you can do it )#long post /#anyway. back to writing starters.

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ambimakesarts · 3 years ago

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I've been thinking about this for while

I've been brewing on these thoughts for a while since the anime for Twisted Wonderland was announced so I think I've had enough time to gather my thoughts about my fears of the fandom becoming a toxic place like every other fandom in existence. (Apologies for rambling too much but things need to be said)

I'm not worried about people shipping or sexualizing the fictional characters. The fandom was already doing that and tagging it properly making it harder to randomly stumble across, I really don't care about the artists and fan fic writers who write NSFW things and tag them. That's not the real problem I'm concerned with.

What I'm really concerned about is the behavior that comes from toxic people who harass the artists and fan fic writers for enjoying the problematic ships, or the sexy fan arts of the characters. If you truly don't like that stuff, (Which you have the right not to enjoy) I'd suggest just blocking tags and artists who make the stuff you don't like. I do that most of the time if I'm constantly seeing art of ships I don't like. Yelling at people and telling them to stop creating things that make you uncomfortable isn't going to help, it just creates the toxic environment of people to afraid to engage in the games and series they love out of fear of the toxic people who will try to harass them out of the community just because they don't like what that person was making.

NSFW content is always going to exist no matter what the source material is. So instead of bullying people, cater your online experience with the tools these sites provide. Your internet experience is also your responsibility. You need to put in effort too, not just the artists and fic writers, who properly tag their works for people who like that content to enjoy it, why waste your time looking for it and harassing the artist who hasn't hurt a real person?

And I get it, there are minors who enjoy the game, they shouldn't be exposed to this. Well they should also understand that when NSFW creators hide their NSFW works behind paywalls, tag their work appropriately, and/or block minors on site that this type of creator isn't making content for them to begin with. There's a huge difference between an adult actively trying to groom a real life minor and and adult who makes NSFW content and actively tries to keeps real minors out of their online spaces. So screeching about how the fictional characters are supposed to be below 18 isn't gonna help people take your concerns seriously. Fictional characters aren't real, they don't need to be treated as real minors, just because the content is illegal in real life doesn't mean the creators want to engage in that behavior in real life. Just like how crime and horror writers don't go and commit actual murders, people who make dark sexual content don't want to commit that crime irl on an innocent person. The fictional characters aren't in real world danger, they're just fictional beings made of lines and pixels or words.

I will assume most of the real minors who are interested in the game, are old enough to understand how blocking tags and people work. It could just be that I'm kinda old and grew up in a different internet era, but when I was minor on the internet I didn't engage in NSFW content made by adults cuz I was always taught that if I saw something online I didn't like or found uncomfortable, I should move on and ignore it. I don't know why nowadays everyone has to try and show their moral superiority by attacking artists and fan fic writers whose only crime is making art the attacker finds immoral, only to then be proven to be the real monster hurting real people.

I get it, we all want to make sure real life minors are safe from creeps, but I think some people just end up choosing the wrong targets, that just aren't hurting anyone, and it unfortunately comes off as jealousy, that this talented artist is getting attention making stuff you find gross, and instead of working on your art and making more of what you want to see, you try to damage another artists career over something as stupid as a fictional character drawn in a thong.(if you know anything about JoJo, you know what incident this was)

And now we have Twisted Wonderland, it's a PG game content wise, but target demographic wise it attracts an older audience who likes Yana Toboso's works(Like her most successful manga, Black Butler). So even though the game itself may be appropriate content wise, the fans can interpret the character interactions however they want. The game is more of a self insert experience since it's technically an RPG, but that won't stop fans from shipping characters with eachother based on the canon interactions those characters have in game.

This is just how fandoms can be, so instead of treating fandoms as these black and white groups of Holy saints and toxic degenerates, people should understand that everyone has their own interpretation of canon fiction and that not everything is made for them, especially noncanon fan art and fan fics.

But then again, that's just my opinion, I really don't like bothering people, I rarely ever share my own opinions on things I like, but I'm getting tired of seeing people harass each other over headcanons and ships that they can easily ignore. I'll just be in my own little space, making content I want to see. And I'll probably never make another long text post like this again, but like I said, I'm tired of seeing this behavior and I wanted to say something about it cuz I've been thinking about these kinds of things for way to long, and as an artist myself, I just hate seeing people try bully artists about what they should and shouldn't make.

#twisted wonderland #i'm just sick of seeing this kind of behavior everywhere #sugar café ambi #apologies for rambling but seriously this has been bugging me for years now #rant #i guess i don't know i don't rant online like this alot

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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years ago

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Half-Life and its media are rated M and the following applies:

(cw for: nsfw discussion)

1. Don’t fucking send nsfw shit to minors. What is WRONG with you. If you are an adult you don’t bring that shit up with minors. Don’t fucking go into their inbox and whine about nsfw discourse. WHY are you personally interacting with kids in that way, it’s shady as fuck??? You can discuss that stuff with other adults, don’t involve minors- even if you feel the need to correct them it’s just. Really not a good idea.

If you really can’t avoid a discussion, keep your distance.

Minors, for your safety, only trust whoever you feel is an okay adult. Even then, don’t hesitate to cut off contact if an adult ever feels very very suspicious and unsafe. You can softblock/hardblock as needed on the internet and it’s understandable and gets the message across.

2. Don’t fucking send nsfw shit to adults who didn’t ask. Why the fuck are you sending nsfw shit to wayne and co. This is like nsfw etiquette 101, if you DO discuss serious nsfw in a sfw space, you always make sure the others are okay with it and its tagged as such/in the appropriate space.

The huge problem with the discourse in the first place is that some chucklefuck thought it was funny to send it to creators.

The crew do crack nsfw jokes but like. They know each other. The twitch chat’s aware of their brand of humor. But some stranger showing up with straight up nsfw jokes/content unprompted? That’s not okay, even if outwardly they seemed fine with it.

It’s pretty much unwanted harassment- like if you were joking around with your close circle of friends at a bar and a total fucking stranger shows up and tells you nsfw jokes. Jokes that they made porn of your oc, unprompted. What the fuck.

3. Don’t fucking harass nsfw artists either, holy fucking shit. If you’re not familiar with nsfw spaces, it is not your place to tell what artists can or cant draw. Any nsfw artist with basic common sense fucking knows to:

- NOT put it in the main tags of a media

- tag warnings when needed

- mark their own account as nsfw

- block and avoid problematic shit

If you think every single nsfw artist is into gross illegal shit you are out of your mind and extremely wrong. Regardless, if you’re not into nsfw content, then it’s not for you. Simple as that- you block/avoid as needed and they will do the same- both sides win!

I’ve witnessed nsfw artists getting death threats- the characters in their art being unrelated adults and consensual. Holy fuck just leave them the goddamn fuck alone. You’d think ‘oh but they’re adults, they can handle it’ hello these guys are real people. Their feelings are more important than dumb internet discourse. If you’re concerned for your safety, the block button is free of charge. Use it.

The real, actual, mutual enemy is the people who make extremely vile abuse fetishization shit- even then, just block and don’t engage AT ALL for your own safety. It’s that easy.

Literally every Half-Life character is an adult and not related to each other (aside from the obvious).

I hate to break it to you, but HLVR:AI has a good chunk of nsfw dialogue and is taking place in an M-rated game.

It’s legitimately concerning sometimes that there are a lot of minors who like HLVR:AI. All the characters are ADULTS and they say dumb adult shit sometimes.

It’s okay to enjoy it, I’m not saying ‘minors shouldn’t be watching this’. It’s very important to set boundaries. And it’s equally important not to go looking for content you don’t want to see.

It is your own responsibility to curate and filter your own feed. Ao3, Twitter and Tumblr have their own filtering system: actually use it to your advantage.

Also a note: people tend to miss dni lists and carrds, so using filters are much more helpful for you and others.

Don’t go crying into anyone’s inboxes and make them do the work for you- unless there’s, for some goddamn reason, explicit nsfw in the main tags. Even then, those are like a small number of people who are easy to block and ignore. Simple as that. Use your brain.

You can reblog this. Except for p*do/inc*st/n*ncon creators, I’d rather you don’t interact.

If you’re going to send anon asks about this, be fucking respectful and mature about it. Anon hate and harassment goes directly into the garbage and permanently blocks ip.

#shrike writes a thing #ask to tag #i dont wanna maintag this so uh. if it ends up in the search just block this post if you dont wanna see it. or filter it idc

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atiny-piratequeen · 4 years ago

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Alright Everytiny, class is in session lets quick fire some hot takes just for fun, shall we?

Idols do not belong to you. You don't get to control their lives. There's a difference between minorities trying to get idols to stop appropriating and/or disrespecting their cultures and some of yall trying to control every waking aspect of their lives bc you've got it in your head that they're your "perfect, precious babies" or whatever bs you've come up with. They are not the same.

None of us are perfect. If someone comes up to you and tells you something you're doing may be offensive to them/some people, stop and listen before immediately taking that as an attack on your person

Literally everyone can learn and grow. Fandom spaces are full of people from all walks of life. Just because you have different opinions doesn't mean the end result of a conversation has to become volatile

If you're joining a net, read the rules before you do so. Not skim through for the key word to get in. R e a d the damn r u l e s

It is your job to curate your fandom spaces. If you decide you dont like someone's content/behavior, it is well within your right to block them to keep yourself from seeing them/their content/their behavior

This also means its not someone's job to write you an essay in MLA format, size 12 Times New Roman, double spaced on why they blocked you. Take the L and move on, there's more than enough other people in a fandom space to find different friends

Your friends are not your punching bags. They're not your yesmen. If you truly consider someone a friend, you need to understand that yall may have different opinions/views on things and this is something you should be able to talk about in a mature manner. If you expect your friends to just nod along to everything or if they expect YOU to nod along to everything, maybe look at that friendship again. No, you shouldn't be fighting all the time, but if you dont feel comfortable speaking out when you have concerns with a friend then.....?

Adults stop engaging with minors with nsfw asks and fics. Adults stop engaging with minors with nsfw content period.

Minors stop fucking lying about your age to sneak into spaces you KNOW are marked as 18+. Adults in those spaces are trying to respect boundaries and also be comfortable and if you cant see why a 15-17 yo lying about being a 18+ yo just so they can talk about getting railed with adults that ARE 18+ (especially if they say no minor interactions) is wrong, maybe you're not as "mature" as you keep telling yourselves.

Sending anon hate makes you a coward and a bitch and no one should take you seriously. Either say it in a post, off anon, in dms, or leave it alone because this anon hate shit is whack.

You can write whatever you want. Yes, even dark fics, but put a FUCKING trigger warning on shit thats triggering. You know DAMN well whats hard triggers.

Respect that people DO have triggers and make sure to mark works/posts accordingly.

You not having the same triggers as someone or not having triggers at all doesnt make you any better than someone who does. Don't be a fucking dick.

You don't have to fully understand someone's identity/culture to respect that they have one and that its different than yours.

Take scs if you feel you're being scammed/wronged. If you dont keep evidence of things being amiss, its very easy for someone to spin a story in their favor.

You arent less of a for considering fandom spaces too overwhelming.

You arent a terrible fan for not knowing every waking moment of these idol's lives. In fact, some of yall need to step back and give them more space

Its none of your business who they're dating. If its not an inappropriate relationship with an adult and a minor or an abusive relationship, leave these people alone

Stop??? Making them fucking uncomfortable by being inappropriate during fancalls??? You fucking weirdos???

You don't get to use your mental illness as an excuse to be horrible to other people all the time. That's not how that works. You don't get to inflict pain and trauma on someone and go "well i have issues so-" and think that's a scapegoat. If you can acknowledge you have problems that makes you lash out, you can actively find solutions to work on doing it less at the very least, not shrug and go "oh well". You're still a dick.

An author sharing their troubles in life is not an open invitation for you to try and bully them into "shutting up and writing, no ones here for the life story". Bitch??? You're on their blog, if they wanna vent for 3 months, post a fic on the 4th, and vent for 3 more, that's their business. The unfollow button is right there. Life is difficult, especially this year. Not everyone can crank out a fic every day

Say thank you when you request a fic and the writer does post it for you. Thats the bare minimum, yknow.

REBLOG!!! FICS!!! AND FANDOM CONTENT!!! YOU!!!! ENJOY!!! DON'T JUST LIKE IT, SHARE THE SHIT IT HELPS

Comments and feedback are wonderful. Do that. Your writers work hard, even something as simple as "i really love how this happened" or "i cant wait to see what happens with person a and person b" goes a long way

Be kind to yourself. If you couldn't meet your goal, that's okay. Work on plans a different way, ask for help, take a different approach. You're doing well in your own way, you can find a way to do better if you need to without putting yourself down all the time.

#fie vents #fie chatters #anyway good afternoon this has been in my mind for like 6 months and building up so here #long post

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todisturbtheuniverse · 3 years ago

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FIC: Adjacent Truths

Rating: M Fandom: Stardew Valley Pairing: Shane/Female Farmer, Shane & Jas Tags: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Friendship, Pre-Relationship Word Count: 1900 Summary: Jas overheard something Shane can't take back, and it's eating him alive. The farmer notices. Also on AO3. Notes: Post-4 Heart Event—a direct sequel of it, if you will. Content warning for suicidal ideation.

When Jas had still been just a baby, Charlotte had told Shane that something changes in your brain after you have a kid. Hormones, chemicals, neurons firing, all fine-tuning, honing in on the sound of the baby's cry, making interpretations on an instinctual level. He'd panicked when Jas had started crying apparently unprovoked in his arms, but Charlotte hadn't even twitched. "She's just hungry," she'd said, with her tired-happy smile.

"She seems mad about it," Shane had said, looking down into the scrunched-up, red face, the tiny mouth open in a hiccuping wail.

"She gets that from Patrick."

But Shane wasn't, had never been, Jas's parent. By the time he'd learned to sort her hungry-crying from her tired-crying and everything else, she'd been nearly out of babyhood.

And there was no easy fix, anyway, for the way he'd made her cry this time.

She avoided him after what she'd overheard. He didn't blame her. She was a smart kid; it was a good time to cut her losses, free herself of any emotional attachment she had to him. Marnie would be a better guardian than he was, anyway. Maybe the ranch wasn’t doing all that great, but no one in the valley was, and they all managed to keep limping along somehow. Once he was gone, they'd probably be just fine, lightened by the absence of his dead weight.

But he kept hearing her. That was his brain's special talent: replaying, over and over again, the bad moments, so that he wouldn't forget how terrible he was. The sound of her sobbing echoed around in his head with the hundreds of other unpleasant things that repeated themselves there: the song he’d been using as a ringtone when he got the call about Patrick and Charlotte; the stuffed pig that Jas wouldn’t let go of that first week, the one that made the most obnoxious oinking sound; the disinterested scratch of the social worker’s pen on paper, changing the course of their lives forever.

“You want to talk about it?” Lydia asked.

Jas still went to the farm with him on Saturdays. She just didn't make conversation during the walk. The first words she spoke were to Archimedes, and then she waded into the woods, heading for the treehouse, silent.

He didn’t talk much, either, but that was how it had always been. Lydia would tell him about whatever project she was working on; she would remind him again that he could come back later for Jas instead of helping; and then, inevitably, they would get to work. Because he still wasn't enough of an ass to pawn his goddaughter off entirely on someone who hardly knew her.

It was a low bar, but it was what he could clear.

“Talk about what,” he said, and swung for the tree again. He was glad that the damn sprinkler system hadn’t had another crisis since last weekend. If Lydia had put him to that kind of fiddly work today, maybe he wouldn't have cleared that bar.

“Whatever it is,” Lydia said. She watched the tree, eyes darting between trunk and canopy, waiting for the moment it began to tip so that she could warn him out of the way. “I can’t read your mind, but obviously something’s been eating you the last few days.”

He swung the axe again. She hadn't traced his mood back to The Incident. Maybe she didn't want to bring it up if she didn't have to, or maybe other people just didn't spend as much time thinking about how much of a loser he was as he thought they did.

Sounded fake.

“I don’t know,” he said. Thud. “Maybe you’re imagining things.”

Lydia was no saint. Sometimes, just like everybody else, she got impatient. Usually it was because of the sprinklers. But those sometimes were rare, and she wasn't taking the bait today, as usual.

“Maybe,” she said amenably, and lapsed into silence again.

After a few more strikes, the tree creaked warningly. “Now,” she said, and they both hustled out of the way of the trunk. It fell slowly at first, then faster, faster, until it hit the ground thunderously right in the space they’d cleared for it.

Lydia was the mastermind, but at least Shane wasn't terrible at brute force labor.

She picked up a second axe; they both positioned themselves along the fallen tree to start chopping. She needed a fair amount of lumber to get that barn built before winter hit. It was hard for him to imagine thinking so far ahead. The farm was just overgrown enough that she could probably collect all the lumber she needed right here, instead of having to buy it. He didn't need to ask if she'd be able to afford it, if it came to that.

“But maybe I’m not,” she said, picking up the conversation after five minutes, like it’d never been dropped. “I mean, you’re cutting up this tree like it’s personally offended you, so there’s a chance. Just saying. I know you think I talk too much, but I’m a good listener.”

Shane took a deep breath. He fully intended to let out a heavy, annoyed sigh, the kind that usually sent anyone who’d dared take an interest scuttling.

But, as happened too often with Lydia, a stream of words came out instead, like he was powerless to stop them. One more thing he couldn't control.

“Take your pick,” he said, and went on dicing up the tree like it deserved the cutting. “Morris is on my ass about saying the catchphrase whenever I spot a customer.” Thwack. “Gus is on my ass about my tab, which is nowhere near as bad as Pam’s, but apparently it’s a problem when you’re not best friends.” Thwack. “Marnie is on my ass about looking for a better job, like there’s a lot of options in Pelican Town.” Thwack. “Jas won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me.”

They'd established a pleasant kind of rhythm. Lydia’s axe fell not far behind his, creating a rhythmic one-two-beat, one-two-beat.

“Jas,” Lydia said after a moment.

His axe fell out of rhythm. “What?”

“You told me to take my pick. I say Jas is the item on that list that’s really bothering you. The other stuff happens all the time.”

It was no use telling her it was just a figure of speech. It was, but at the same time, she was right. All that other stuff was background noise, compared to Jas.

He hated when she was right. Except when he didn't mind. It was always hard to tell which it was until much later, which didn't help a lot with in-the-moment reactions.

He settled for hitting the tree again.

“Why do you think she’s not talking to you?” Lydia asked, taking up the rhythm again behind him.

“You know why.” He said it to warn her off, in case she’d forgotten—but he didn’t think she had. He wasn't that lucky.

“Maybe. But tell me again.”

Lydia didn't believe in hiding things, letting them fester. She was completely fine wearing most of her bruises out in the open, cheerfully admitting that something had gone wrong and she was working on it—again, most of the time. She had a couple secret bruises that he'd poked, accidentally or intentionally.

But he was all secret bruises, or at least, he'd have liked to be. As long as he kept hanging around her, though, she'd keep digging them up to air out. The obvious solution was to stop hanging around her. He wondered, again, why he hadn't done that yet.

“She overheard something she shouldn’t have,” he said, “because someone dumped a canteen of water on me and made a scene.”

Lydia actually laughed, a little breathless, in the middle of her swing. “Oh, I see. It’s my fault.”

She was kind of refreshing, was the thing. Everyone else at The Incident had taken it so damn seriously. Granted, that was exactly two other people—Marnie and Jas—and one of them was seven, so maybe that wasn't surprising. But still. It was nice that someone had heard the thing he said and wasn’t afraid to talk about it.

“Maybe,” he said.

“I panicked,” she admitted. “Not my finest moment. I’m sorry.”

He grunted in acknowledgment. They went back to the beat, one-two, one-two. In the distance, Archimedes barked.

“So she knows you meant it,” Lydia said, after a moment.

His axe hit a little crooked, and the rhythm stuttered again. He looked up at her. She realized he'd stopped, and she stopped, too, returning the look.

It wasn't that she didn't look sad, or worried. It was just that those things seemed secondary to a kind of openness, a thoughtfulness, like she was solving some kind of puzzle. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, or whether he liked it or not.

“Haven’t told her otherwise,” he said.

He expected a lecture. He gave one to himself more or less every hour. Put on a good face for Jas, or Just tell her you were having a bad day and didn’t mean it, or Tell her you’re going to be around for a good, long time, even though you don’t know, even though it might be a lie. The kid had already been through hell. He should've figured out some way, any way, to keep her from going through more by now.

He just couldn't. He didn't know why.

But she didn’t lecture. She said, “You don’t want to lie to her.” As if she understood.

He went back to his wood-chopping. “I don’t know how to lie to her.” He wished he did. That would have made this a lot easier.

But then, if he lied, she wouldn’t see the inevitable coming before it hit, which would make it all the harder for her.

Lydia went back to chopping, too. “I don’t think you need to, for what it’s worth.”

“Yeah? You got an age-appropriate way to explain wanting to die?”

Finally, she hesitated, but only for a one-two beat of the falling axes. “Not really,” she said. “But Jas has already been through a lot. She knows stuff that most kids don’t at her age. So you can tell her adjacent truths.”

“Lotta syllables.”

Finally, she gave an impatient little sigh. “I mean things like—you’re sorry that she had to hear that. That it has nothing to do with her, and doesn’t mean you don’t love her. That things are just hard for you right now.” She breathed heavily on the next swing, more exasperation than effort. “She gets that you’re grieving, too, Shane.”

Trust a person like Lydia to paint it in such nice strokes. Like his best effort, which fell far short of winning any prizes, would be sufficient to a needy little kid.

But maybe...well, saying something could always make things worse, but the idea hadn't come from him. It was a start.

“I’ll plagiarize,” he said. “Thanks.”

It seemed like she was going to let it lie there, but then she spoke up again. “Like I said, I’m a good listener, so. You need an ear, I’m here. Day or night. I mean it.”

She wasn't wrong. She was a good listener. But she had some kind of future ahead of her, still, and he'd poisoned enough people with his failures. It was out in the open now; it didn't need to be rehashed. Next time, he would keep his mouth shut.

#sdv shane #sdv farmer #shane/female farmer #universe writes #depression cw #suicidal ideation cw #friendship #pre-relationship

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whenimaunicorn · 4 years ago

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The Heart of Admiration - Part 6

In which we learn how Hope and Vane spent that fateful night in that tiny room.

Prompt: 16. “everybody sees how you look at him.” Content: pining, angst, more pining, a healthy dose of denial, and certain individuals having way too much fun with the fake marriage ruse. Catch up here.

Notes: the first section had been previously posted as a preview, if it feels familiar. Keep reading, for everything that follows is new. Also, shout-out to my partner in crime for this fic, @navigatrixnarrations, the real inspiration for Hope Wickham. Words: 3767

Hope dreams she’s teetering on a great precipice, unable to pull herself back nor to find the courage to see what lies in the darkness below her feet. She wakes up to the realization that she is actually just about to fall out of bed.

She pulls herself back on the mattress, able to do no more than achieve a slightly more stable balance before hitting a solid wall behind her. A warm, toned, breathing sort of wall. Her sleeping captain had encroached upon her territory in the dead of night, and now her shoulder is jammed into his chest and he’s softly snoring into her ear.

“Move it, you lunk,” she hisses, nudging him firmly with her shoulder.

It accomplishes nothing. There’s not even a hitch in his breathing.

“You’re on—my—side,” she growls, shoving against him harder with each word, bracing her feet against the mattress and throwing her back into him.

The snoring stops with a bit of a sigh, then resumes without any further acknowledgment of her disturbance.

Hope twists her body around with a few jerky movements, and stares down the bridge of his nose. His head is sharing her pillow. Unacceptable. “Captain.” She grasps his shoulder and shakes it, tentatively at first and then more briskly. “I need more room.”

He makes some sounds, half-words not recognizable in any language that Hope is familiar with. They sound both curious and exasperated. A few more brisk shakes get Vane to shift onto his back, but he remains soundly asleep.

At least she’s not nestled between his pectorals anymore. But his immovable shoulder is still preventing her from getting comfortable without touching his body. The amount of space left in the bed would be no problem if she were inclined to embrace the man, to wrap the line of her body along the whole side of his. The thought makes her flush, both with unexpected craving and with the embarrassment that would suffuse her if her captain woke up to find his navigator spooning him.

The craving, and her exhausted need to just get a little more comfortable, win out. She lets her top leg relax until her shin falls against his; better, but not enough. She rolls forward on her hip into her favorite sleeping position, daring to stack her knee on top of his thigh. Instantly, her tight muscles relax. The move presses her belly comfortably against his waist. The warmth of him is lovely, as are the gentle waves of his breathing. A part of her cannot believe she is pressing her body against Captain Vane’s in this way, while the rest of her is just too tired to care about propriety.

Her arm would be most comfortable draped across his chest. But did Hope dare to go that far? In the square of dim moonlight cast by the small window, she finds herself inspecting her captain’s sleeping face.

She’d stopped pretending she didn’t find him handsome. Her eyes follow the strong lines of his cheekbones down to his powerful jaw. When she’d first joined his crew, she’d been nervous about his intentions toward her, but the possibility that he found her attractive had never materialized into anything troubling to her. Despite the fact that Vane was now an inert mass in the center of her bed, he had never pushed her so far as to make her truly uncomfortable. In fact, his lack of direct advances have made her wonder if she’s imagining the whole thing. It is still distinctly possible that he thinks of her simply as a trusted member of his crew, valued only for her skill.

His jawline is vexing her. The fine stubble on it, grown out through the course of the day, is practically beckoning her fingertips. It would not be at all appropriate for her to stroke him in the dark, whilst he sleeps, and yet what other chance does she have to explore the way Captain Vane makes her feel without him catching her at it?

Shoving him did not wake him up. Perhaps tickling would do the trick. She tells herself she is only reaching fingers up to his cheek in order to annoy him into waking, and that only for the purpose of rolling him over to a more reasonable share of the mattress.

There's nothing surprising about the texture of Vane’s cheek, not technically. It’s just skin and little bristles of hair. And yet something about it feels absolutely unique, infinitely fascinating to her fingertips. She feels she could enjoy doing this for hours, or conversely that this one moment of tactile pleasure is stretching out wider and more significant than any moment has any right to. How can something feel soft and rough at the same time?

Vane's breathing hitches, his great brows creasing as he seems to become aware of her touch. Hope's fingers retract as if burnt. She really shouldn't have been doing that. She no longer wants him to wake up.

With a rumbling little groan, Vane reaches his arm over and embraces her, gathering Hope against his chest and rolling into her until she is trapped with both arms curled up between their bodies.

There is nothing to do but admit defeat, and let sleep take her, cozy and warm in the arms of her captain.

~*~

He hadn’t known exactly why he said it. She’s mine. How Hope must have shuddered, listening to that. He knew she could handle herself. It just sort of came out of his mouth when he saw the way that fisherman was leering at her. But now here she is, curled up against his chest in the thin light of early morning.

He’s grateful that he woke up so gently. Oftentimes unpleasant dreams haunt him in the early hours before dawn, and he does not always awake without a fight. This time, fleeting dreams melt into awareness of a warm weight at his side, and now Vane thinks he will just never move again. Her hand is on his chest. His heart beats strong and wild just beneath her palm. He stares at the ceiling, breathing carefully, only shallowly, and hopes this moment might stretch out forever.

His arm is around her. When did that happen? She fits so perfectly right there, tucked into his shoulder. If ever he had doubts about the depths of his feelings for the woman sleeping beside him, they were surely dispelled now. This is more than just desire, more than just skin craving skin. Her trusting little body anchors him, makes him feel as if heavens and earth are all turning as they should, with this bed at their absolute center. As if everything that exists had navigated his life right to this still point right here.

When she wakes, it will be over. If only they really were husband and wife, if the story they had spun in the tavern downstairs had magically come true overnight. But Vane would not risk losing her from his ship, not just to tell her how he feels. Better to see her every day, to hear her voice carry across the deck over the ocean winds, to take the smiles and tongue-lashings she throws in equal measure, and keep his heart concealed. At this point, not even his crew would forgive him if he drove her away.

She stirs. Oh, the cruelty of that soft sound that she makes as she wakes. Vane keeps himself still and unthreatening as he feels her body tense, as she lifts her head with a start and pulls her hand away from his heart.

Her hair is mussed and lovely, a lock of it falling across her face as she blinks at him in the warming light. She looks neither angry nor confused, so his worst fears recede. She looks . . . he can’t quite put his finger on it. Distressed?

“I—” a nervous smile darts across Hope’s face. “I’m sorry.” She laughs, and pulls her body away. That’s all she does, when she awakens to find herself entangled with his limbs at the center of a benevolent universe. She laughs.

She averts her eyes. She won’t look at his face as she scrambles to sit all the way up. Carefully not letting any part of her body touch him again. What more evidence does he need that he’s right to keep his heart locked away? “Mornin’,” he growls, polite as he can. Then swivels away from her to set his feet firmly on the floor.

~*~

Somehow Hope had been sure that she’d awaken before her captain, that she would be able to pull away and hide the secret embrace she’d bestowed on him during the night. Instead, she’d found herself rousing to the face of a very much aware and awake Charles Vane. And he had just been letting her sleep on, curled up against him like that, with her palm splayed across his bare chest…

Heat rises again in her cheeks, and she keeps her back to him as they both straighten hair and clothing and prepare to look presentable enough to walk downstairs. She hopes she hadn’t made him too uncomfortable. Poor thing was probably so shocked to wake up and find her like that that he was afraid to move. Probably thought she’d yell, accuse him of impropriety, trying to sneak something while she was asleep. But Hope knows she’s the one at fault here. She was the one who had indulged secret desires, and the only one that should be feeling any shame today.

The right thing to do would be to say something. Clear the air. But what on earth is the proper etiquette for I’m sorry that I took advantage of the warmth of your body last night? I apologize for testing the waters and liking it just a bit too much.

“You must think me silly,” she says to him. She’s not really certain where she’s going with that, but it’s a start.

Charles looks up at her abruptly, shirt in hand.

He’s listening. She has to say something more. “I promise that I’m not—” she cuts herself off. It’s imperative to reassure him that he doesn’t have to worry about her attraction to him, but equally important that she not even give him the idea that’s what this is about, if such thoughts had not already occurred to him. “I want to reassure you that my feelings aren’t—"

This time she’s cut off by a loud, thumping knock at the door. Both their heads swivel at the sound. “I hear congratulations are in order,” Jack Rackham’s cheery voice calls, emanating through the wood. “I was told the ‘newlyweds’ would be found in this room.”

Hope checks that her blouse is in order, then jumps to open the door. Their quartermaster’s face looms down at her, one amused eyebrow raised expectantly. “We didn’t get married, Jack. It’s all a misunderstanding.” She steps back into the corner, trying to create enough space to allow him entry into the tiny room.

Why is Vane looking at her like that?

Jack’s eyes float to find the captain as well.

Vane is gruff. “Told the mark she was my wife.” He pulls his hair out of the collar of the shirt he just finished shrugging on. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“So we’ve made contact, then.” Pleased, Jack sweeps fully into the room.

Hope closes the door behind him, mindful that Fellows might come walking up at any moment to begin their rendezvous. “More than contact,” she confirms, intent on filling Jack in quickly before another knock comes at the door. “He’s agreed to lead us right to it.”

Jack seems distracted. “A fine bit of news.” His eyes linger on the single bed, the two pairs of boots still standing side-by-side at its foot.

Something about the way he makes eye contact with Vane, directly after looking up from the rumpled bed, irks her. Hope stalks into his line of sight and crosses her arms. “Nothing untoward happened, Jack.”

Why do his eyes keep flitting back to Vane? Jack has nothing but a nod for her statement. Why on earth would the captain’s feelings be the ones anyone would be worried about right now?

“I promise you,” she says stubbornly, “he was a perfect gentleman.”

“That's not what you called me last night,” Vane rumbles behind her.

She whirls on him. “Don’t make this worse,” she barks at the cheekiness she detects in his halfhearted smile. “The last thing you want today is an angry wife.”

“So we’re keeping up this little ruse, then?” Jack inquires. Judging by the impressive angle of his eyebrow, he's realized Vane’s feelings aren't the only ones that might require caution in this moment.

Vane’s big hand cups Hope’s elbow, guiding her in the direction of their boots. “No way around it. Our contact took a fancy to her.” He holds her eyes for a moment, measuring his next words. “Which she leveraged. Seems I've got a coquettish little wife on my hands. Fellows finds out we ain't really married, now, and the only way to keep ‘im would be to send her to his bed instead of mine.”

Jack looks, frankly, flabbergasted at every word of this report. He turns wide eyes to Hope, for confirmation of such an extremely uncharacteristic story. “What—” he stops, screwing up his face in confusion, then tries again. “How much did you have to drink last night?”

Hope scowls at him. “It was a calculated play. Got us the deal, didn't I?”

“So long as the man can get out of bed today,” Vane adds, helpfully. “We did attempt to drink him under the table by the end, there.”

Hope's memories flash to that portion of the evening, to the fire ignited in her blood by the casual grip of the hands Vane kept resting on various areas of her body, the alluring spark nestled in the laughter behind her captain’s eyes. She can admit that the tittering, maddening, absolute uncertainty of these new feelings, she still tells herself they are new, led her to drink much more than was her usual habit.

“Perhaps we had best go knock on his door,” she says, forcing her mind back to the real business at hand, “before he gets away.”

~*~

She’s not sure how on earth she hadn’t thought to expect it. Hope considers herself an intelligent woman, extremely capable of thinking a plan through, anticipating the obstacles, the contingencies, and every flavor of unexpected consequences that might come from a particular course of action. It’s what makes her a damned good pirate, after all.

And still, it hits her like a blow to the stomach, knocking all other thoughts from her head for one long, unreasonable moment.

“You’re back,” the boatswain calls, waving as she and Vane accompany Fellows up the gangplank to board the Ranger. “Welcome aboard, Captain. Welcome aboard, Mrs. Vane.”

She almost stumbles. Which is especially embarrassing because the captain had his hand on her arm, and absolutely must have felt her composure crumble at those particular words.

“And who is this that you’ve brought with you, Mrs. Vane?” Oh, Shane is having fun with this. Hope can hear the subtle emphasis he has put on the honorific this time. They sent Jack up to the ship ahead of them, to let everyone in on the need for a little subterfuge while Mr. Fellows leads them to the treasure. It seems clear now that the crew has decided to have fun with it.

She’s not going to live this one down.

“This is Mr. Fellows,” she introduces. “Please, meet Shane Rollins, our boatswain.” Hope would like to remove her hand from Captain Vane’s arm, now that they’ve attracted the attention of the crew, but his fingers have covered hers and she can’t quite bring herself to recoil. She expects to find him laughing at her when she looks up at her “husband,” but his squinted eyes are very carefully not looking at her. Perhaps there is a slight tilt to the chiseled line of his mouth. Bother. He probably finds this extra funny given the way he found her wrapped around his body this morning.

Quite a few more members of the crew are on deck than usual, watching them board. She could chalk it up to excitement over the treasure her guest was about to guide them towards, but the smiles are just a bit too sly for that, aren’t they.

And it only gets worse as they get underway. Their guide turns out to be a gregarious, amiable fellow even when hungover. He, of course, stays close by the navigator’s side, attending to his “important business” of advising their course while chatting up the various crewmen who continue to insert themselves into the conversation. And it seems that as long as Fellows is glued to her side, Captain Vane will be too. Which, while perhaps intimidating to Fellows, (perhaps), does absolutely nothing to dissuade the crewmen from attempting to fluster Hope as best they can.

“Such a handsome couple you two make.”

“I confess I did tear up just a bit at your ceremony.”

“Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“That’s because it was yesterday, wasn’t it?”

“No, yer daft, it were a week ago.”

“Ain’t they been married for months now?”

“Nah, it only feels that way, on account o’ how long they was makin’ eyes at each other before that.”

For her part, Hope mostly just stares resolutely out to sea. Despite Vane’s uncharacteristic nearness, he himself does nothing to feed into the madness either.

“I just love seeing the two o’ you so happy together. Oh, put your arm around her. Give her a kiss.”

That last one is met with the flattest stare Hope can summon. There is no way that even an actual Captain’s wife would ever put on a performance like that. “Reckon we’re close?” she asks Fellows instead.

“Oh, might be a couple more hours. Plenty of time to keep trading stories.”

~*~

Eventually she reaches her limit, right about the time Jack starts spinning his own version of their false narrative, opening with “We had never thought our Captain here would be the marrying type…” Hastily, Hope excuses herself to go put on a fresh set of clothes, before her growing frustration blows the whole charade.

But when she gets to her bunk, she finds it stripped, her few meager belongings nowhere to be seen. Did they—?

Hope fumes. There’s only one logical explanation for this, isn’t there. The crew’s been quite thorough in their commitment to establishing the ruse. She stalks back out of the lower decks.

She finds her clothes in the Captain’s quarters. Of course. Her skin prickles as she disrobes in here, even though the room is empty. To be undressed inside Vane’s private space . . . to her horror, Hope realizes the main emotion it’s filling her with is a sense of longing.

This is so inappropriate. She dresses herself as quickly as she can, then gets hung up on deciding where to set her soiled clothes. She can’t have Vane returning to his cabin and seeing her shirt and breeches flung across his bed, where she just almost forgot them in her haste to exit. The impression of casual intimacy that would leave just wouldn’t do at all. They’re dirty, so she won’t tuck them away into a drawer… She settles on draping them carefully across the chest of her belongings that the crew had so helpfully moved into this cabin. With the most innocuous bits of each garment facing forward, neatly lined up, to minimize all possibility that they might create the impression they had been flung aside by a now-naked woman.

When she’s satisfied, Hope doesn’t return to the main deck. They’ve likely moved on in conversation up there, but her renewed appearance might only drag their wicked minds back to making fun. Instead, she finds a secluded section of railing from which to hide a little longer, while contemplating the sea.

The waves are mild this morning, and the blue expanse glitters in the brightness of the sun. She wishes she had her hat, but it was missing from her bunk and she was not going back to Vane’s cabin to search out where the crew may have stowed it. Wouldn’t be right to start rifling through his things, even if no one on this boat seems to have felt shame doing it to hers.

When she had awoken, so embarrassingly nestled against her captain’s chest, she had thought it would be easy to simply carry on and ignore what had happened. The way that lying with him had made her feel. But now it seems no one is willing to let her forget it. The feel of Vane’s arms around her… she has to press her eyes closed for a moment, against the sudden rush of heady emotion threatening to disperse all reason and good sense in its wake.

She opens them at the sound of boots approaching on the deck. It’s Jack, strutting toward her with a keen, wary look in his eye.

“What.”

He lifts his palms in a gesture of harmlessness, then takes a place leaning against the rail at her side. “Just making the rounds. Ascertaining that each man is at his post.”

Hope rolls her eyes at that. “Did you disperse the crowd around Fellows, then?”

Jack fixes her with a look out of the corner of his eye. “Eventually.”

Hope sighs, and sags a little deeper as she stares out across the water. “I hadn’t expected the crew to be quite so… enamored of this idea.”

“No?”

“Sure, it’s a little funny,” she grants, “but they were like a bunch of gossiping old biddies up there. What, I wonder, set that off?”

She rounds on Jack, preparing to accuse him of stirring up the crew’s expectations. But something in his flat, serious look stops her. “You really don’t know.”

“Know what?”

Jack presses his lips together, exhaling a little huff through his nose as he chooses his words. “Darling.” He leans in a little closer. “Everybody sees how you look at him.”

Hope tries not to let her eyes widen at the splash of nerves that rush through her body. “What? How do I look at him?”

“Like the secrets of the heavens might be written under his skin.”

Next chapter here

#charles vane x oc #charles vane x ofc #black sails fanfiction #black sails fic #captain vane #the heart of admiration fic #charles vane x hope wickham

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bumblebee-moreno · 4 years ago

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LGBT EDUCATION EVENT

I posted a bit ago to see who might be interested in an event for anyone to ask me any question they want about my LGBT identities, or the LGBT community in general, and there seemed to be quite a bit of interest, so here we are!

Event goes from midnight to midnight March 30 (starts in 5 minutes, lasts for the full 24 hours).

For those of you who don’t know me (you can skip this part if you already know who I am):

My name is Bumblebee, but you can call me Bee. I am white and use he/they pronouns. I am FTM nonbinary, queer, demisexual, and polyamorous. I work part-time at a non-profit targeted towards trans youth. At the non-profit, I moderate our 24/7 chat (I’m not the only moderator, don’t worry, I do sleep), am a facilitator for our middle school support group (When one of our high school facilitators cannot make it, I also step into that group occasionally). I also help create and present workshops (We are currently in the process of creating a presentation for Microsoft). My other job is as a receptionist for a Veterinary Clinic. (For safety reasons, I will not be sharing which nonprofit I work at, or which veterinary clinic I work at. If, for some reason you find out where I work, please keep this information to yourself). I was diagnosed with ADHD in February, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder two years ago. I have lived in the USA my whole life, and was raised in a non-religious household. My extended family is mostly Christian, with a few relatives who are Norse Pagan (we are originally from Norway). I am agnostic.

The purpose of this event:

Education. That’s literally it. I’ve noticed a lot of misconceptions about the LGBT community, and want to combat that with a good ol’ fashioned Q&A.

Here are a few rules before we start:

(I do have a TL/DR at the bottom, but if you have the time, I encourage you to read the full thing)

- This is a safe space.

This means a few things: You can ask any question you like and I will not be offended. Nothing is to be taken personally, it will always be assumed that you are trying to learn, unless you’ve clearly proven otherwise. If you’re hurt by something someone (including myself) has said, you’re free and encouraged to say something about it. All identities are welcome. Everything will be tagged with appropriate content warnings (If I don't tag something you need tagged, let me know and I will happily tag it!)

- Who can participate:

Anyone wanting to learn about anything LGBT, including but not limited to:

Cisgender/heterosexual people who want to become better allies, Writers who want to learn how to be more inclusive, People questioning their gender/sexuality, literally anyone prepared to be respectful to anyone else participating

(I do want to note: this event is open to NSFW conversations. If you are uncomfortable with this, please filter the tag “adult conversations”.)

- Any question is okay to ask.

This is a space for everyone to learn, regardless of their prior knowledge. I will never get offended by a question. I will not be offended by the phrasing of a question. If I am not comfortable answering something, I will explain why, but I will not be annoyed. Part of learning is making mistakes, and I want to be courteous to that.

I am super open, so I will answer almost every question, regardless of how personal it is, with a few exceptions (see the “my boundaries” point.

Yes, this means you can ask questions that you’ve been previously told never to ask. I want to clarify though: I will make it clear when a question is inappropriate to ask in normal circumstances. Since I am telling you beforehand that it’s okay to ask personal or private questions, it is acceptable to do so in this context. However, I will always add a note explaining why you shouldn’t ask people this in other circumstances so that it’s still clear which questions I am making exceptions for.

- My boundaries

I’m not going to share identifying information. That includes: My legal name, where I live, where I work, photos of myself, etc.

I’m not going to share my deadname either, though I am willing to have conversations about deadnames themselves.

I’m not going to share what my plans for bottom surgery are. I am fine to talk about bottom surgery itself, I am fine to share where I’m at right now, and have next to no boundaries about top surgery. But I’m not going to share what my plans for whether or not I’m getting bottom surgery are.

I’ve worked as a receptionist and trans advocate for long enough that I take nothing personally. Because of this, I ask that if you need to get upset or aggressive about something related to this event, please come to me directly instead of attacking a participant. I’d rather you send me hate than sending it to someone who is trying to use this safe space as a learning opportunity. This includes if you’re frustrated with a participant. I’m happy to facilitate a healthy conversation about a disagreement, but I will not tolerate anyone attacking others.

- Hate will be blocked.

When you’re talking directly to me, I’m going to assume you’re well-intentioned. HOWEVER. If you’re directly attacking others who are involved in the conversation, you will be blocked. If you have a problem, please come to me and I will work to resolve it. Sending hate to people other than myself is in violation of the safe space.

- My intention is never to speak over anyone

I don’t know everything about every identity. As a white person, I experience white privilege. As someone who passes as male about 80% of the time, I experience male privilege. I am able-bodied. I try my very best to educate myself, but I am still learning (and always will be).

If I speak on an identity that is not my own, I will always add a note to clarify this. I will only be speaking from the stories shared with me by people who have that identity, and from the additional research I have done.

MY WORDS ARE NEVER THE ONLY TRUTH. I cannot say this enough. Don’t take my words over those of someone who uses a specific label. Even if I also use that label. Everyone experiences the world differently. My words are a STARTING POINT. Please be aware that other opinions and experiences exist. I will try my best to have resources paired with every conversation so you can further your learning, but please be aware that I cannot teach you everything.

If I don’t know the answer, I will do research as well as provide you with sources.

- No question will go unanswered

Yes, this includes questions that come across as “disrespectful”. I have said this already, but I will always assume good intentions unless it’s proven that you’re coming from a place of malice. If a question is phrased in a way that comes across as harmful in any way, I will still answer it AND explain why you should ask it differently in the future or not ask it at all going forward.

If I don’t respond within 2 hours, please message me again: I either didn’t receive it or I am still writing my response. I don’t want to miss anyone just because you think I’m ignoring you, I promise I’m not.

The ONLY time I won’t answer a question is if you’ve made it clear that you’re only here to attack the people using this safe space (I will have already asked you to leave).

- If something upsets you, don’t ignore it.

If you’re hurt by something I, or someone else said, please let me know. My intentions are never to hurt or upset anyone.

You can disagree with people, including me, as long as you’re polite about it.

If you need me to talk to someone for you, I’m happy to do so. If you want a private conversation with me, my DMs are open. If you want to stay anonymous but don’t want your questions posted, use this 🌙 emoji (or just say so), and I’ll make a post trying my best to answer your question without sharing the contents of the ask itself.

I don’t expect you to educate me as to why you’re upset by something: that’s not your responsibility, I can educate myself. I do appreciate anyone willing to talk about differing views or why something upset them, but that is not the purpose of the event and you are under no obligation to educate anyone else. I will do my research the moment someone says something bothered them.

- Please don’t weaponise my words.

Please don’t use anything said here as a way to attack people. This event is to educate people. I hope there’s nothing said here that can be manipulated to hurt people, but I didn’t want to leave this unsaid; the point of this isn’t to attack people who are uneducated, it’s to help educate them.

- Most importantly: Please come into this with a desire to learn

This event won’t be helpful if you’re determined to not learn anything. The purpose of this is to ask questions and learn something. I can’t decide for you that you want to learn. I can’t force you to learn. You have to be willing, or this may seem very pointless to you. I’m not trying to change opinions or beliefs, I’m just trying to spread a little education. If you’re unable to take my words and really think about them, this may not be the space for you, but that’s up to you to decide.

Any topic is okay!

This includes (but isn’t limited to):

- Writing LGBT characters (such as how to incorporate same-sex representation without fetishizing gay people, writing for gender-neutral or non-female readers, making content trans-friendly, etc.)

- What to do when someone you care about comes out

- Coming out

- Transition-related questions (HRT, surgery, binding/tucking, deadnames, etc.)

- Defining terms or labels you’re unfamiliar with

- Working out your feelings about something (such as something you saw in media and need to talk to someone about)

- Various laws (questions about laws may take up to 3 hours to answer, as I would have to research your particular area, depending on the question)

- Literally any other question you can think of that has to do with the LGBT community in any way, these are just some ideas off the top of my head to get y’all started.

TL;DR: This space is open to anyone, any topic, any question just please be open-minded and respectful!

(Just like my first post, I’m including tags for the Pedro fandom because I’ve seen a lot of issues within that community, but this is open to anyone that wants to participate, regardless of what interests you have.)

@phoenixhalliwell

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toysoldiers-rwby · 4 years ago

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[CS] 11. Error. Permission Denied

Cutting Strings

Characters: Penny Polendina, May Marigold, Winter Schnee Word Count: 6.5k

Healing isn’t always a painless experience.

Read on Ao3

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Archive Encrypted.

Ciel and Xanthic were already at the Polendina Facility when Winter’s summon landed. Aro was still sleeping, and without any knees she was a little difficult to carry but May figured out a way to gently cradle Aro against her.

Xanthic scowled and jogged up to them, “Dr. Polendina and my bots just finished a room for her,” May nodded and quietly left. Xanthic then glared at Winter who was already a little exhausted, “And you! Just because she’s not in critical condition doesn’t mean you can just run off with her!” She nearly yelled. Her voice then dipped into a whisper, “Second, tell me before you bust her out! There was a lot of witnesses but I erased the footage anyway.”

“You know Aro doesn’t do well in confined spaces,” Winter argued. Knowing she gets rather stubborn and impulsive behavior is less controlled when she’s angry, Penny concluded she snuck Aro out without thinking, “Staying there would have caused unnecessary stress and panic.”

Xanthic frowned. She calmed a little and crossed her arms, “You don’t want to take that fall, Schnee.” She said carefully. Penny stepped next to Winter and was a little surprised to see a subdued expression. Ciel and Penny exchanged confused and lightly concerned glances. Xanthic didn’t sneer but instead walked inside the facility with her partner.

“That seemed like it was more than it appeared…” Penny noted.

“Xanthic censors a lot of the rumors that circulate around our little social circle,” Winter explained. Her voice had a weary edge to it and her expression was a little sad, “She was just reminding me to be careful.”

For now her processors where trying to find a solution to a problem other people were more than capable of handling. She knew Aurora was okay whenever her partner was in her immediate vicinity but once May took her inside, Penny started to worry. Winter took her hand again and held it tight for a moment.

“I want you to hear this from me,” Winter started it. For some reason it activated Penny’s fight protocols. She may have squeezed her hand harder than necessary but the soldier pushed on. “Aro nearly ended up in a coma.”

Penny’s felt like she was in zero gravity again. Her gyroscope spinning wildly as she fumbled for the ground she firmly stood on. She watched Winter’s calm face slowly slip into worry.

Then Penny felt too many things at once.

She squeezed Winter’s hand, consciously harder than she should, “You shouldn’t have snuck her out.” Winter flinched a little, she did nod in agreement. Then an immense fear and worry. Aurora told them she was okay but what if that changes. “What if she gets worse!”

Winter gave her a small smile. It was completely unguarded and even her strong shoulders relaxed. “I’ve known Aurora for years now. She survived worse.”

“Her brain nearly melted!” Penny’s Aura built up in her eyes. It was pressure that couldn’t escape and glitched out her ability to focus. Her eyes kept wandering until Winter gently cupped her cheek.

Her pale face was the only thing her frying processors could focus on. She looked confused, thumb brushing near the corner of her water-less eyes. Penny threw herself into Winter’s arms. She was hugged tightly but her Aura still felt like it was pushing at all of her seams.

“She survived the reason she has those cybernetics didn’t she?” Winter murmured.

“I… I don’t want to hear it.” Penny choked. Every system and protocol was conflicting with each other and her synthetic voice came out uneven. “Reason and rational isn’t working right now. I know Aurora is going to be okay but- but it doesn’t feel like it!”

“Sometimes you need to ride through it,” Winter whispered. Penny found her eyes closed, face pressed to her chest. “What can I do to help you?”

“I don’t know!”

“… And that’s okay. We’ll figure it out, Penn.”

For a moment Penny thought everything went offline. She heard a soft and steady beeping along with the sound of breathily purrs and a light snoring. When she finally opened her eyes she slowly focused on Winter. She was tired, worry pinching her brows and corner of her lips. She still stood strong yet the ungloved hand that cupped Aurora’s sleeping face was gentle.

So light Penny felt like if she looked away it would float away from memory. Instead another one drifted in, You should kiss her, her simulators and memory must have malfunctioned at the same time because in her head she heard May’s voice instead of Winters and Penny knew something about that sentence was altered.

Then she noticed the room and the machines. An IV of cool saline running through Aro’s system to keep her temperature down. All the monitors showed signs of health like she wasn’t in danger of her own systems. Then she noticed a warm hug and arms around her. She turned enough to get a good look at May.

At first Aro’s nickname for her made Penny… uncomfortable but for May, it was accurate. Her face was a little rounder than Winter, skin a few shades tanner and… Penny gently cradled May’s face, detecting the temperature difference between her jaw and the blush that always dusted across her cheeks.

Winter, Aurora, and a few other Huntresses traded the arbitrary title of Most Attractive Women of Atlas, but Penny was starting to think May might be the most beautiful. She brushed the loose strands of hair behind her ear and found herself coming through nearly and arm length. She looked nearly unrecognizable without the lion tail wrap controlling it.

During one of her passes Penny much have pressed a little too hard because May stirred. She tried to pull Penny close but with her weight, Penny had to cuddle closer least she wakes up. Her other hand started to pat blindly at the space behind Penny. The more she grabbed at empty air the more displeased she was in her sleep. Winter came up behind them, hand sliding into May’s just as she woke.

“Good morning,” Winter said. She smiled at the pair and brought a kiss to May’s wrist. May mumbled indistinguishable words in an affectionate tone. Content May let go and Winter’s hand gently cupped Penny’s cheek. “How do you feel?”

“Immediately upon awakening? Dazed and lethargic. Presently?” Penny thought about it. She saw Aro on the bed, unconscious but stable. She was surrounded by two elite Huntresses with enough stimuli from the skin contact to keep her Aura active through her system. There was something she couldn’t quiet grasp, an emotion her processors struggled to identify because of so many variables and history and behaviors of the three ladies. “Safe and comfortable. I should be content but… I’m not.” Penny frowned. Her body had no needs so why didn’t she feel fulfilled.

Winter and May locked up for a second and stiffly glanced at each other. Winter licked her lips, her cheeks pinking ever so slightly. “… Really?”

"Good morning, Platinum!" Xanthic’s voice sang loudly into the room.

“Gah!” May practically screamed. She half jumped, half thrashed her way onto her feet. At the door was both the hacker and Dr. Pietro. Penny smiled getting to her feet and pushing past two very nervous looking Huntresses. “Good morning… sir…” May mumbled, “Xanthic.” For one she didn’t address the hacker with guarded anger.

“Good morning father!” Penny said, adding a hug to the greeting.

“Good morning, darling,” Dr. Pietro smiled at her. His grin grew a little when he looked at May and Winter. Penny tilted her head. She could tell Winter was struggling with her composure. Her movements were a little too stiff. May always worn her heart on her sleeve and she looked extremely guilty with blood crawling up her neck and cheeks. Perhaps she could go and comfort the women? Though the way she hunch in on herself seemed withdrawn, so Penny decided against it. “Good morning, Ms. Schnee, Ms. Marigold.”

“… Sir,” Winter’s voice was clipped and she barely nodded her head. It was more of a small bow and a reason to glance away for a moment. She regained herself and looked at Xanthic. “Platinum? Is that a… team name?”

“Me and Robyn’s other two misfits were talking about it,” Xanthic said with a grin. Her eye cybernetic eyes constantly glowed but this time it looked far to amused. “P-A-W-M. All of you are rich, two is heavily cybernetic, Winter usually has a heart as cold as steel and May is… dense.” In an oddly passive behavior, May lightly glared at Xanthic.

“It is a rather appropriate team name,” Dr. Pietro mused, “And you four tend to gravitate to each other.” This time her father’s eyes were twinkling in amusement while May looked ready to feint. Winter endured it, posture like a soldier but she was blushing rather hard now.

Penny frowned up at the pair, “Are you two okay?”

“F-Fine!” May barked out, voice squeaking a little. She cleared her throat but didn’t relax.

“Relax! I’m just teasing,” Dr. Pietro laughed. “Penny, Ms. Soleil is in the kitchen making breakfast, would you kindly help her?”

“Of course!” Penny smiled. She hugged her father once more before leaving. Oddly Xanthic was the only one following. She glanced back to see her father nonverbally gesturing for the Huntresses to stay. Xanthic laughed and pushed Penny forward. “Xan… why does it feel like I’m not quite understanding the full context here?”

“Because I’m pretty sure you and Aro are not neural typical,” Xanthic’s hand heavily clasp her shoulder. But it wasn’t a menacing gesture, the grin on the hacker’s face was too happy for that.

“Good morning,” Ciel greeted as the pair entered the kitchen. Xanthic took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of fried bacon and rice. Penny’s systems didn’t have any olfaction or gustatory simulating hardware but she hummed in appreciation for Ciel’s work. It was usually Xanthic that helped in the kitchen, or cooked outright but Penny took over the cutting station, slicing some meats and greens with mathematical accuracy and factory precision.

“Think you two can multitask?” Xanthic asked, “There’s somethings me and Glade should have told you two.”

“I think there’s a lot of things you need to confess,” Ciel said. She took the diced foods and sprinkled them over a cooking omelet. When she didn’t get the usual bite back the officer paused and raised a brow at her partner. “Alright. You’re being boring so this is actually serious… Oh.”

On the table was a hovering projection of Aro and Xanthic’s body. Their organic parts were in a muted gray. The cybernetic additions that was readily visible was in a vibrant blue, that included the cybernetics that raised out of the back of their heads. The color muted as it entered the body. Blue lines crawled deep into their brains, branching off into many directions. Another bulk of it traveled down Xanthic’s spine a little.

For Aro it traveled all the way down to her legs.

A coma was just one of the things that could have gone wrong. Penny quickly set the knife down and took a deep, even breath. She cleaned her hands with a rag, everything working without though as her processors tried to shut down her overactive simulators. Aro was covering, in a room with her father and Winter and May.

Instead she distracted herself by remembering Aro’s file. As Dr. Peitro’s assistant, Aurora Glade was one of the few civilian personal files Penny was installed with. She was from Menagerie, moved to Atlas five years ago.

Two years ago some SDC executives from the Watts family went to Vacuo for a business trip. Aro accompanied them. Despite Aro’s survival my military personal considered the rescue mission a failure.

“Official records state that there were a handful of survivors*,”* Xanthic told Ciel. “Only the family attendants and Glade survived.”

“Didn’t peg you for a servant,” Ciel said, crossing her arms.

Again Xanthic smirked, “Bitch, I live as many different lives I’d want. Anyway,” Xanthic tapped at the Scroll again. Slowly some parts of Aro’s cybernetics turned red many of the components in her legs turned a deep red. It faded along her spine but there was another intense patch of red in Aro’s skull.

Very close to her brain.

“People with intense augmentation such as me, Glade, Penny and Ironwood need Dust to run our cybernetics.” Xanthic started. Penny felt her Aura panic wildly in her chest. The statement was true. But for Penny and Ironwood the power was housed in her chest and had several fail safe to prevent it from overheating non-replaceable equipment, such as her memory core. None of Ironwood’s cybernetics was directly integrated with his organic neural network, instead input was transferred via the bluetooth transmitter on his forehead.

“Aro has three power units, one for each leg and the base of her skull for her aids.” Xanthic explained, drawing out the shape of Aro’s horns with her hands. “We’re getting rid of the dust core with these upgrades but if the back of our heads gets too damaged or overloaded with power, lightning Dust, whatever we’re done…” She made the motion of slicing off her own head with a clean flick of her wrist.

“You two are a video game boss, got it,” Ciel said turning around and resuming cooking. The bored drawl took both Penny and Xanthic by surprised. It stopped the panic from spreading and she looked at Xanthic, curious about her reaction. Interestingly the hacker had a slight flush and a surprised anger on her face.

“… Bitch. See if I open up again,” Xanthic grumbled quietly to herself.

“What was that?” Ciel asked. She kept her voice flat and disinterested but from her angle, Penny could see both their expressions. Ciel glanced at Penny and gave her a small smile and a wink.

“The operation will be around 6pm.” Xanthic lied with some bite. She surrendered the white Scroll Dr. Pietro lent her, “Here are the schematics so far. Since you are her partner we’ll like your input but Glade will have the last word.”

“That’d be a first.”

“Aurora!” Penny gasped and turned around. She saw green hair and horns, all the little detail turned into a blur as Penny launched herself at Aro.

For once Penny slipped past the Glyph but May quickly intercepted. She grunted hard, taking the full on tackle of a metal women plus the additional force of pushing into it. Penny was a little surprised at her strength but happy enough to wrap her arms around anything she touched. So May was good practice.

“Ow, loosen up Penn,” May said with a small laugh. Still she affectionately ran a hand through her hair- or was about too. She suddenly stiffen and it changed to awkwardly patting her head. Penny frowned in disappointment. May and Winter tried to hid their smiles at the pout. Behind them Aro and Dr. Peitro laughed. She managed to walk over on unsteady legs to play with Penny’s puffed out cheeks.

“Ms. Glade is still injured,” Dr. Pietro said and signed. Penny was a little surprised at how fluidly his hands moved. His sign language wasn’t as good as May’s but he was Aro’s mentor years before.

“Technically, I suppose,” Aro sighed with a slightly amused smile. Penny promised to be gentle. She let go of May and gently hugged her partner. Penny noted that Aro squeezed back with only a fraction of her strength at maximum effort. But she was alive and not in a coma. So Penny squeezed just a little harder and buried her face in the warmth of her shoulder and neck.

For once breakfast was almost peaceful. Possibly because Xanthic was half busy talking about the possible upgrades with the Polendinas and occasionally Aro. The mechanic was a little slow and lethargic from the anesthesia. Her sea green eyes would sometimes glaze over from behind her glasses and it looked like she fell asleep for a few seconds. It happened less as the morning passed. One startling adjustment was Aro’s deafness, it was much more pronounced with her older aids. She preferred sign language over verbal communication, happy to converse with May or to teach them new signs.

Occasionally Winter and May would give the hacker an odd glance or they seem to stay a little too long at Penny. Whenever Penny gave them a confused look they both blushed and turned away.

“If the brat is working here, I’ll like to request time to visit my family.” Ciel said glancing at Aro and Winter for permission. Aro blinked and raised a brow.

“If the bat… Oh! Brat,” Aro glanced at Xanthic with a sneer. “I’m not worried about falling behind in lectures. Robyn can drop us off. I have…” She looked at Winter and May, “Plans…”

Under the table there was a hard sound and Xanthic visibly wincing. Everyone paused to stare at the hacker. She tried very hard to keep her composure but ended up crumbling a little from pain. Ciel’s snort and hard laugh broke the stunned silence, “Did you really try to kick her metal legs? Bare foot?”

“Shut it,” Xanthic hissed, “One. No eating or drinking five hours before the operation. Two. Be more descriptive, you idiot! It sounds like your ditching them.” May and Winter frowned. If Penny had to guess why, it was that Xanthic knew Aro’s secret while the pair was kept in the dark. Penny laughed at the soft envious look on their face.

Aro rolled her sea-green eyes. With a little more confidence she gave May and Winter a small smile, “I have a surprise for you two, and no… it’s not me disappearing.” She looked at May and sign, “I promise.”

The huntresses seemed to relax but Penny frowned, “You’re in no condition to set up a party.”

“It’s not…” Aurora had to pause, a deep embarrassed flush blooming across her face and to her wiggling ears. “Joanna, Robyn and Fiona are helping me. I’m just… getting a haircut.”

“You are a shitty liar without Focus, Ms. Glade,” Winter said with a sigh. Aro made a complaining whine but didn’t argue. She didn’t look guilty but had trouble finding the words. It didn’t help that May looked rather skeptical. “How long?”

“Two hours tops!” Aurora said earnestly, fist clenched tight and wiggling before her. Penny was remind of a child at first. But then remembered Xanthic’s comment about needing a possible diagnosis from a psychotic. Perhaps it was more of a physical stimulation habit? No matter the reason, Penny smiled back. It was an adorable display of happiness from her partner that could have ended up in a coma or worse-

“I suppose that’d give us time to… discuss things with Penny.” Winter said. Penny took a small breath, trying to focus on the present. She focused on the slow blush that raised to Winter’s pale cheeks. She was trying to maintain her composure but slowly crumbled. Penny and Aro laughed softly at it.

The Mantle members of APCX headed back to Atlas with a curtsy ride from the rather happy group of huntresses, minus May. Fiona was practically bouncing in place while Joanna was grinning widely. Robyn was the only calm huntress of the group. May didn’t speak much. She signed gently with Aro, possibly trying to staying or to allow her to help. Fiona groaned and had to push May away.

"Take the hint, Marigold! It’s a surprise for PASM!"

“… You really did talk about it with Xan…” Winter murmured giving her former teammate a disbelieving look.

May just shook her head “Oh! Yeah but…” May still looked nervous. Penny wondered if that’s how she looked as soon as Aro left her sight yesterday. As a precautionary measure Penny took May’s hand and squeezed it, similar to Winter’s strategy of calming her down. May looked down at her and squeezed back but the worry never left her face. “Promise me you’ll be careful, alright? Dr. Pietro said to-”

“Avoid anything that’s heat up my neural augments, don’t manipulate Dust, let my Aura recharge,” Aurora said droned on in a playfully bored tone. She rolled her sea green eyes, “I have three people to makes sure I don’t do anything too stupid.” Fiona giggled hooking their arms together and tugging Aro to the airship.

“She’s been planning this thing for almost a year and I don’t have your patience!” Fiona said. She pulled a little hard, making Aro jerk and stumble a little. May let out a distressed noise and tried to surge forward but Penny linked their arms tightly. With her superior strength she kept May rooted to that spot while Fiona hurriedly dragged Aro onto the ship with a laugh. “You’ll thank us later.”

“See you soon!” Aro called out as the door closed. May grumbled staring as the airship left with a sad pout.

“What me and Penny aren’t good company?” Winter asked a little teasingly.

May pouted a little harder, arms crossed. “It’s not the same without Aro… and… and her semblance is off because of the drugs so I wanted to spent some time with her.” She said softly. An sympathetic silence fell over the three. She did manipulate the General of an entire Kingdom and misleading May seemed to be a common occurrence in the past.

Penny could not simulate the history the other two went through and she only knew Aurora for nearly two months now but there wasn’t a day they haven’t been at each other’s side. "Her company is always a pleasure, but even more so without Focus," Penny agreed squeezing her hand. “But… If you waited five years to be romantically involved-” At the word May grumbled and tried to run. Winter laughed gently and stepped in her way. Penny pouted, complete with a soft verbal que to get May’s attention. Penny grinned and giggled to see how flush her face was. It reminded her of the Welcoming Fair. “Your patients is astounding, Two hours should be easy for you.”

Winter stepped in close, standing shoulder to shoulder in leu of linking arms, and leading May away from the military facility.

“Speaking of romantic intentions…” Winter started. There was a light blush on her cheeks again but not as bad as May’s, who’s flush caused her steps to falter a little. Penny quickly slid her hand up, linked her arms with May and helping her catch her feet. “Penny… you mentioned earlier you wanted something more,” Penny nodded. It was a conversation still in her cache memory, “Were you talking romantically?”

Penny paused. She looked her hand joined with May’s. Her scheduled maintenance reminded her of all the reason they weren’t compatible. She needed to change knee and ankle joints due to the heavy impacts from her dive maneuvers with Floating Array, her gyroscope needed an upgrade to adjust to Aro’s artificial gravity that was in constant flux. Penny’s artificial nature…

“I… I don’t think I’m capable of romantic-” Penny’s explanation was cut short. May snorted back a laugh but it slipped out of her anyway. She pulled her arm until their hands were intertwined again and held them to Penny’s face. Her face was oddly smuggled for the blush on her cheeks. Beside her Winter raised a brow with a small grin as well. Penny huffed back at them, pouting a little as her Aura stirred up excess heat. “It’s a comforting gesture!”

“Y-yes…” May blushed and looked away. “But you do it when we’re not sad or stressed.”

“I like the physicality,” Penny admitted looking down at her feet for a moment. Touch was such an odd sensation. There was so many things behind it from texture to application, and in this case context. She was inexperienced many of its but not ignorant of them.

“I understand returning Aro’s physical gestures, but you’ve never cuddle Ciel or Xanthic.” Winter stated.

“Because they are different people.” Penny answered. With the current line of inquires Penny was able to spot the one information she was missing. “What’s the difference between romantic and platonic affection? Aro blows kisses and cuddles with Fiona.”

The two paused for a moment, stunned. Then May let out a soft human growl of frustration under her breath, “Aurora… Making shit hard even when you’re not here.”

“Platonic and romantic affection can be very similar…” Winter mumbled, “But with many people there is a distinct difference, they usually aren’t as physical as we are.” She glanced at their joined hands with a small smile.

Penny tilted her head. Her simulators tried to create a scenario of the four dating but she couldn’t imagine anything new, “What would be different?” She asked.

“I’d get to kiss you,” Winter said. The new tone and intensity surprised Penny. For a moment her shoulders squared and eyes darken in a way that sent her Aura spiking unevenly throughout her body in a shiver and pleasant hum. Several offensive protocols were triggered, but one protective code caused an odd malfunction. It was a challenge she wanted to win and lose, watch and participate. Penny refused to turn away from those blue eyes but she did tilt her head in confusion.

“By the Goddess and Brothers…” May muttered softly. She was a little short of breath and couldn’t meet either of their eyes. “She’s a top.”

“You didn’t pick that up during the Welcoming Fair?” Winter asked with a raised brow. May didn’t respond verbally, she was a little too embarrassed. She flashed several rude signs.

During their talk Winter had steered the group to the bubble tea place they had visited when Penny first met them. May quickly fled inside to order their drinks, leaving Penny giggling while Winter laughed softly. They took a seat at the same table Winter had sat her down after her first panic attack.

Penny took Winter’s hand and squeezed it gently. She recalled the memory for nearly two months ago. It was different with Aro, no excited buzz in the air or a lazy ocean calm. It was different with Winter now too. In the past and present Winter was happy and content, but there was subtle differences in behaviors… Now her touch lingered longer, she seemed content to be in Penny’s presence rather than completing an objective.

“I think I understand what you mean by platonic and romantic affection,” Penny said. The memory of the Welcoming Fair came to mind, the happiness she felt light in her chest as she watched Aurora and Winter hide in plain sight with affectionate touches. Ciel ended up winning back the money she lost during the first bet but Penny felt like she benefited the most from it. “Though I don’t know if I am capable of romantic relationships…”

“Your father mentioned something similar when he was talking with us,” Winter said. “Aurora… confessed that she only had one romantic partner.” For a moment Winter’s gentle expression soured and she glanced away at Penny, “which ended up with her unable to control her semblance.”

“Oh…” Penny felt… oddly relieved but a little furious. Relieved that she wasn’t the only inexperienced member, furious that someone hurt Aro so much her semblance couldn’t deactivate.

“Would you like to try it?” Winter whispered. The slight wavering and fear in her voice was an alarmingly new inflection. Penny didn’t like it and she tried to comfort Winter by rubbing her thumb over Winter’s and squeezing her hand. “Date all three of us?”

“Hm…” Penny ran a quick simulation but no matter what parameters she set she kept getting an error. “You three are only people I’m interested in trying with.”

Penny hadn’t realized how rigid the other women had become until all tension melted from Winter. Her spin relaxed and she looked almost smaller somehow- Penny tried to hold in a gasp, her sensors flaring wildly as her analytic systems tried to interpret a new sensation. A simple and gentle kiss to her fingers.

“Your father also explicitly asked us to take it slow,” Winter added, “He was rather confident we’d be able to restrain ourselves to your pace, since we waited for Aurora.”

“It was really embarrassing,” May said. The two jerked apart, head looking wildly for their third partner. Penny’s systems kept directing her forward but her visual analysis confirmed… May dropped her invisibility field, a tray of four drinks in one hand and a Scroll with a blinking recording light in the other. Her face was almost as red as Winter’s and a bright grin on her face. “You were always such a white knight, Winn.”

“I can’t believe- You recorded it?!”

“Aro would want to see it!” May protested. “Would you rather have Xan show her a recording?”

“Ugh, please don’t mention her,” Winter groaned relaxing back to the table, shoulder pressed comforting against Penny. May only pocked her Scroll and quickly pulled the pair up by their joined hands with a laugh.

“Aurora’s done! We’re meeting her in Mantle.”

“That was not two hours. Not even an hour,” Winter frowned.

"She did say two hours maximum," Penny clarified. She linked her arms with Winter. At first she tensed then relaxed and leaned into her, she glanced down at Penny with a warm smile it nearly overheated Penny’s power unit. Winter leaned back into her.

Winter may have misused her rank to get the fastest transport as soon as possible and May might have pushed her semblance a little far so Penny could pilot the airship beyond safe city limitations. They didn’t end up at Aro’s home or a salon, instead it was a body modification shop with experimental dust procedures called Turk’s Bodily Transformations.

Penny and May gave Winter a worried glance. Amongst the three she was the most experience Dust user, so she would understand the full consequences of direct applications of Dust on an organic body.

“Joanna Greenleaf…” Winter muttered between gritting teeth.

Through the window they could see Joanna and Robyn calmly chatted on the couch till they both saw them through the window. Robyn waved them in. It was a small race between May and Penny, both women quickly walking to the door. May’s longer legs entered the body modification shop first, the door hitting a soft wind chime. Penny paused a little. It was rare to see hinged doors instead of hydraulic ones.

“You three got here fast,” Joanna said with a light sneer. “Has that patience finally worn out, May?”

“Shut up,” May mumbled, “We’re just worried.”

“You can worry for a few more minutes… or an hour,” A voice behind the sectioned room and curtain said. The sound of a tattoo gun paused and a head marked with ink and some metal poked through the curtain for a second. Penny caught the wicked grin and altered fangs as she disappeared again. “Oh wow! They are pretty. Azure and Arctic would be jealous.”

May frowned glancing at Robyn and Joanna, “Who…” They both signed they didn’t know. But judging from the décor and atmosphere of the body shop, they were people from Menagerie. The style was almost Minstral but the Faunus had a distinctively functional design to them. Surviving outside the Kingdoms was difficult, so they adopted any advantage they could find while keeping their Faunus pride. This included Atlesian fashion and technology. Much like Aro it was a mix of two cultures.

“Can you not!” Aro said complained softly. She got scolded for squirming and it took a few seconds for the tattoo gun to hum again. “And I’m not getting the full piece… I don’t even feel right getting this one.”

“Brothers above and below know you deserve it,” they heard an unfamiliar voice say. “Can you activate your Aura for a second again? Thank you. Rumor has it Sienna regrets not intervening. If you were there Menagerie would probably have a CCTV tower by now.”

“Hopefully with the transfer my… the Glaives can get one up soon.”

“If the Glaives don’t out right leave Menagerie,” Turk snorted. “Alright! I think…” They’re voice paused. The tattoo gun took frequent pauses as the last marks and touch ups were made.

“Oh my, it looks great Aro! Don’t look, there’s still a little blood.” Fiona suddenly said from behind the curtain.

“Aura please. Thank you.” There was a short quite pause. Penny finally heard the sound of water, a little miniature stream and pond on the desk. Next to it was a portfolio laid open. Penny flipped through it. Surprisingly it was all Faunus with various of modifications. Unsurprisingly some of them were a cybernetic. Penny was particularly interested in the Faunus women with gills on her neck, a thick metal plat protruding from her spine and a hard-light tail extending from it, like a sting-ray.

“And done!”

“May! Get out the surprise isn’t finished yet!” Fiona yelled. Penny turned to see the curtains fluttering. Fiona shoving May away and seating her by Winter. “You waited five years! Just a few more seconds so she could get dressed.”

“Yeah you perv,” Robyn taunted with a laugh.

The shop owner left the private room first. They smiled eyes a lit with a kind of predatory amusement. She walked straight to May and offered her hand. “I’m Turk! Pleasure to finally meet Aurora’s mate.”

May choked and faulted hand wavering in the air. They threw their head back, rumbling laughter coming from deep in their Faunus gut. Turk’s hand clasp around May’s wrist in a forearm shake.

“Turk, please don’t harass her.” Aro pleased.

“Very well Ms… Glade,” Turk said walking behind their counter. They stripped the gloves off their hands and went about cleaning various of shelves and drawers.

“I-I’m not- Fiona!?” The curtain fluttered again. Fiona emerged first, forcefully pulling a half dressed Aurora… Glade. Penny’s processors slowly hyper focused on the new in slipping between nearly exposed breast. Then up to her collarbone where it flared out a little, and deliciously higher to her neck. It was a mix of circuit board wiring and tribal Menagerie designs.

“You… you weren’t lying about the haircut,” May noted. Penny saw the Huntress awestruck at Aro’s face. Penny gasped and quickly walked over. She made sure not to collide into her like how she wanted too and made sure to keep her hands off Aro’s chest, least May scolds her again. Instead she ran her hands over the buzzed sides of Aro’s head.

“It feels so soft!” Penny gasped. Aro giggled as her fingers passed over her scared Faunus ears. They flicked free when Penny played with the new piercings in them. Then her hands traced the cybernetics going deep into her skull.

“But… you’re image?” Winter mumbled. “You’re business-”

“Aro gave up the ADC!” Fiona blurted, nearly jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

Penny quickly pulled her hands back and held Aro’s arm, steading her as she whipped around to make a grab at Fiona. When the sheep Faunus escaped, Aro made an odd complaining growl. “You promised me that I’d get to tell her!”

"I made that promise two months ago!" Fiona yelled back.

Nervously she looked back at May and Winter. The elite graduates was rendered speechless, eyes wide and for May, mouth a little open. Aro whined again under their gaze. She shuffled, trying to step behind Penny but the metal women easily held her partner to her side. Joanna and Robyn signed encouraging comments.

“There’s no official statement yet, I’m letting the public figure it out for once. There’s still paper work but everything was finalized during my trip to Vale-”

“Ugh, and I was so mad too,” May mumbled.

“You have every right to be… I blackmailed the General, for starters, I wouldn’t trust me either-” May swept in pulling the two trainees into a hug. The fear that was creeping into Aro’s voice softly faded, leaving only an uncertain nervousness. “So… You- you guys like the make over?”

May stepped back, standing next to Winter. The Specialist had that devouring look in her eyes again, hands flexing at her sides before clasping behind her back. Her eyes were intensely focused on the new ink, particularly to where it disappeared under her half buttoned shirt.

“I can show you my appreciation later,” Winter said. The even control and calmness of her voice sent a shiver down Aro spine and blush racing across May’s face.

“It’s,” May cleared her throat to get of the low heated tone. She swallowed a few times before calming down enough to touch Aro’s neck, just shy of the ink but slowly getting closer. “It’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Turk chirped. The four jumped a little and the other three happy Huntresses giggled or sneered.

“Now kiss!” Fiona yelled. May laughed and rolled her eyes. She did pull Aro into a kiss on her temple. "Ugh! Come on we’ve been cheering you two on for years!"

“We’re not one of your dumb romantic comedies and dramas!” May frowned at her. Winter chuckled lightly, her voice still a bit too husky. She opened the door, nonverbally convincing the her partners to walk out. The rest of the Happy Huntresses stayed in the shop, trying to wring more personal information about Aro from Turk.

Penny found her hand tightly intertwine with Winter’s, her eyes occasionally glancing at Aro and May, their arms happily linked together broken only when they needed two hands to sign. Her processors were slowly cooling off in Mantle’s cold air. Penny quickly archived and favorited the past hour so she could review them. Despite how advance her memory and simulations are, it wasn’t even close to reality. The feeling Winter’s cool presence at her side or hearing May and Aro’s laughter. Simulations couldn’t mimic the lips that gently brushed against Penny’s knuckles again or the way Winter’s eyes soften when they were a few inches apart.

Decoding skipped.

#Penny Polendina #fic #cutting strings #pre-fall of beacon #may marigold #winter schnee #pfenning #qued

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grenade-maid · 4 years ago

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i like you as a person (at least as far as i know you through here) but every day you post anime girls and it feels like someone in your position would be more sensitive about sexualized depictions of young women. most of them seem (on the surface) wholesome wlw, but i feel really uncomfortable seeing any kind of "lesbian" images shared online. men *will* see it, and most of it was probably made for them anyway. as transfem wlw, we should really try to be more careful about that

Anon, I want you to think very hard about what you're saying. You're uncomfortable with seeing lesbian images shared online, because men might see them? How weak is your lesbianism that you think it could be undermined or threatened by men merely viewing depictions of women on a public website? If the act of men seeing illustrations of women were enough to undermine trans women or lesbianism we would have been annihilated decades ago, because I'm not sure if you've noticed my friend but that ship has long sailed. Are you going to send this same message to Dynasty Scans, the largest host of yuri manga on the English speaking internet, too, in hopes that they will cease operations and stem the tide of gay anime women that men might see?

What do you think it would accomplish if I stopped posting cute girls? Moreover, why should lesbians define their behavior by what men might do? Should we avoid wearing short skirts and low cut tops, too, just in case we inflame their desire? This is just another way of defining women by their relationship to men, and I refuse to do that. The problem with the sexualization of young women has to do with men's attitudes towards women, seeing them as objects to be consumed rather than people with agency. The mere presence of suggestive pictures of women is not the problem. It is a problem that would exist even if we scrubbed every erotic picture from the internet because, again, the issue is with men's attitudes and their place of power in the world. There is a lot of art that is made in a misogynist way, yes, but the issue is with misogyny, not the fact that the woman in the picture has her tits out.

I ask you, what precisely are you worried about happening? You ask me to be careful, but of what? Are you worried about people thinking I'm a pervert for liking cute anime girls? If they think that, that's their fault, not mine. Are you worried that they will think I'm a pervert and extrapolate that all trans women are perverts? I did not cause their transmisogyny, and my posting habits would not fix it. Are you worried that men will get horny over what I post? Who cares! What they do in the privacy of their own homes does not concern me. Men finding women attractive is not a bad thing. Are you worried that some of those horny men fetishize lesbians? Their homophobia is not my responsibility. I did not cause it, and nothing I post would fix it.

You say most of this content was made for men anyway, to which I answer, how do you know? And more importantly, why do you care? If two girls fall in love, does it really make it not count or worth less if a man wrote them doing so, compared to a woman? Should I only look at pictures and read content of women falling in love if I can verify that the author was a woman who loves women too? What will this accomplish? At the end of the day, regardless of who the intended audience was, I see myself in it and I enjoy it. Everyone is capable of writing stories that are meaningful, even if they don't belong to the group they're writing about. Extrapolate this line of reasoning further. If a writer intended a story to speak to straight people, and for all the characters in it to be straight, does that mean I can't or shouldn't read my own gay and trans interpretation into it? Because newsflash, lgbt people have been appropriating stories written for cishet men for as long as we've existed.

Furthermore, I want you to interrogate how this line of reasoning could be used in transmisogynistic ways. Fifteen years ago I was a "man" who just happened to find lesbian romance compelling. Yuri manga online became my refuge, where I could explore these feelings about women loving women. Why did I find kinship with them, and find depictions of straight romance so alienating? Why did I relate so closely to these girls, while finding that I had nothing in common with any fictional men? I am not exaggerating when I tell you that cute anime girls were pivotal in me coming to terms with my gender and sexuality. Feel free to laugh! I find out funny myself, but it's true. When we try to set up barriers around lesbianism to "keep men out" that language can and will be weaponized against trans women. Those women who don't know they're women yet are barred from finding community and kinship with other wlw because they're perceived as "men". Worse, though, cis people will use that rhetoric to actively exclude trans women from wlw spaces outright even after they have come out, because they see us as male invaders. The portrayal of men's attraction to women as inherently predatory or degrading is used to justify cis people's disgust with trans women's attraction to women. Why would you want to lend legitimacy to that line of thinking?

Finally, I want to ask you, who do you think this blog is for? Because I'm sorry, but I don't do this for you. I do this for myself. I post what I want because I enjoy it, and I share pictures I enjoy with friends who enjoy the same thing. If you are uncomfortable with what I post, I advise you to unfollow me. I will not take it personally, and I hope you will not take it personally either. I hold you no ill will, and if you're someone I've spoken to one on one I would still consider us acquaintances. Nobody needs to follow me to be my friend. I regularly speak with and befriend people whom I don't follow and who don't follow me. This blog is curated to my interests, and your dashboard is, I'm sure, curated to your own interests. If these two things don't match up, there's nothing wrong with that. I encourage you to pursue crafting your online experience in a way that is suitable to you, but I will not change my own content for that purpose, leaving you the option of unfollowing.

I post all of this not to ream you out. I am not angry with you and I hold no malice against you. But because you have chosen to send this on anon I cannot ask you what you mean and engage you in further conversation. With that option gone, I can only type every possible thought I have on the matter, and hope that it illuminates my thinking. If you wish to talk about this further and explain your own thinking, if you think I've misrepresented your thinking or have further thoughts, I would love to hear it. You will, however, have to come off anon for me to do so.

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pjstafford · 4 years ago

Text

Letter to The Truly Like Lightning Book Club

I’m a person who likes to write, but I know I sometimes make spelling or grammatical mistakes which annoy people. I apologize in advance.

I do tend to be pretty open and honest about my feelings and I do feel deeply.

I kind of like social media to be upbeat and positive. I don’t really like to knock it too much when it isn’t. What’s the point!? Social Interaction between humans is sometimes problematic no matter what form it takes.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When it is triggered I have a flight response. On Twitter that means making my Twitter footprint smaller. I want to be smaller to protect myself. Yesterday, though, it seemed like I was being told that as small as my footprint had gotten, I wasn’t small enough. What do I do now? How small can I go before I’m gone.

I truly don’t know where to go with something that is not a life threatening problem, not a rocket science issue, but is a little thing about a book club. I believe it was The Who who sang this is not a social crisis, but just another tricky day for you. This morning is a Tricky day. I am really wondering...

Do we cancel the book club?

Do we have a steering committee to organize it differently?

Do we go off twitter?

Do we have a different facilitator?

Should I leave social media, maybe shave my head and take a vow of silence?

How I feel about this is extremely foolish and really desperately sad with just a smidge of anger.

I feel foolish because I thought the book club was going really, really well. I have loved the discussion. It has deepened my understanding of the book which I already enjoyed. It’s been fun. Imagine my surprise to find out there are issues. The sad and angry piece is a little complicated. So let me put the issues out first since that is what the club needs to discuss today. This is the fourth book club I have facilitated on Twitter. It has been my most pleasant experience until today. Every club has been formatted exactly the same. Apparently this one might need some restructuring.

1. When is the appropriate amount of time following a book’s publication to allow to pass before doing a public book club where people who may not be in the book club could still see the discussion? People who might read the book in the future or had started the book and wasn’t as far along might have spoilers. It’s a valid concern, but Twitter isn’t known for being a spoiler free zone. If a program drops on the East Coast two hours before my time, before I can watch spoilers exist on Twitter. However this book dropped February 2 and we waited until March 1st to begin the book club. We have a # but when people respond they don’t always use the #. Also some people don’t follow me and they are not part of the book club but because people retweet the questions they were showing up on people’s timeline when they didn’t want them there. So the compromise we arrived at was no body can retweet any question or response and every response must have the #. I’m still confused, though, about the rules. Movies/television =immediate spoilers acceptable, books= a month to six weeks is too soon. I was told it’s not a matter of rules but being nice. Ok. I want to be nice but what is the appropriate time because sometimes I don’t read a book for years? If we postpone the book club for six months, a year, three years, thirty? With the compromise reached, why do I care? Because why are we being so quiet and circumspect about a book I think people ought to know about and read. Sometimes social media helps create a buzz. What a shame that a book club that is reading the book critically and in depth is, to some degree, being told to not be so loud because, you know, Twitter is a spoiler free zone. To be clear, I think the persons who raise the concerns did so for legitimate reasons and out of concerns for future readers of the book, but when we talk about the reasons I am sad and angry you will see why this upset me we much. it’s not their fault but I responded poorly and I’m still coming down from my PTSD spiral.

2. Perhaps, the problem is that Twitter isn’t the appropriate forum for a book club. Maybe Discord or private messages or zoom. Yes. This is the fourth book club I’ve hosted on Twitter. I was asked in March last year if I would start a book club due to quarantine. They’ve all been successful so far. Why do I feel so silenced? Again I don’t think the person who suggested this meant anymore than oh, let’s solve the spoiler problem. But I have a particular reason for not wanting to be silenced.

3. Some people have read the full book already and want to talk about the book in its entirety. I see that. I really do. I just have never had a book club like that. That means waiting longer. Some people like the chapter a day. Should we do multiple book clubs ?

4. Are the questions too serious? The subject matter is complex. Would a different facilitator be more appropriate? One who wouldn’t highlight the controversial and serious issues!

Why am I sad and a little angry? Why did my PTSD kick in outside of it being a bad year and a stressful time at work and I’m tired? Haven’t had a day off I a long while. (No complaints I have a job). I’m tired.

April 2017 I started the Twitter account @hearteyes4david. I had help but it was mostly me. I kind of love David Duchovny’s writing. I have blogged about it and have said someday he will have a break out novel. I believe Truly Like Lightning should be it. But the account showed love for all things David and I believe it gave some fans some fun. I enjoyed being a part of it. We had newsletters and contests. But for me, I an first and foremost a fan of David’s writing. I write. I admire writers. His writing should not be diminished by his other careers. In March of last year with the lock down I was asked to facilitate a Miss Subways book club, then the lock down went on so we did his other two books. Twitter and hearteyes have been my happy place in this year. It’s hard when your happy place feels threatening.

I was fortunate enough to get an advance digital copy of the book to read. Wow. Different! Great! It is not because I am 😍. This is one of the best books I’ve read this century. I am an avid reader. I have a critical eye. I wrote a spoiler free review. Almost immediately a fan contacted me. Because of spoilers you shouldn’t have posted this. Why don’t you do a DM for those who are interested? Don’t do spoilers. It’s a spoiler free review. This fan continued to tell me that it would be best not to post about the book. ( you know, spoilers). Then fans who had not read the book but knew for a fact that every other page was full of sex scenes and drugs and it was essentially exactly like Californication (not remotely) started saying nothing should be posted on the 😍 page about this book. Then a fan who hadn’t read it complained about how it handled religion and said it would cause her personal pain to see anything about this book on the 😍 page. I kept saying. I actually don’t care if you read it or not. My suggestion is you mute, block or unfollow the account if you don’t like the content. “But the pain, could we at least not do the book club? “. 🥺🥺🥺. I was convinced that rather than have the controversy on the 😍 page I would choose to leave my happy place account I had created to start a small account and my fan related activities became far more focused. It might not seem like much, but the decision to leave 😍 was hard, but I wanted to talk about this book. These aren’t the only reasons but the three pronged fans really angry at me for a book I didn’t write which wasn’t even published yet was challenging during the holiday season of 2020. I made my Twitter footstep smaller. I passed the account to Charmion who is doing great.

So then I waited till March to talk about the book. In the meantime “fans” who hadn’t read the book, immediately started to spread lies and mistruths about the book including selective out of context screen shots. So much for “Spoilers”. Still I waited until March. So now I have a smaller account followed by 100 people which very few “super fans” know about and about 5-7 of us are talking about this book. That’s it. For 18 days we have discussed the difficult, complex flawed characters and how the book demonstrates that these characters actions caused harm to other characters and yet left us with empathy for all. We have not always agreed. It’s a book club. Reading one chapter a day.

Yet somehow we are too loud. My tweets were being retweeted. You know, have to be concerned about spoilers. Were there 15 hate filled tweets from people who shared screen caps they were sent of random out of context paragraphs, people who proudly say they haven’t read the book, don’t need to, they’re experts, 15 for every one of mine. Of course. But I’m too loud. You know. Spoilers

So I am sad. Desperately so. I walked away from an account I had poured a lot of love into because I believed in a book I wanted to talk about. After being pretty involved in the fandom, my current activities are pretty narrowed. I’m not sure I can continue to facilitate the book club. I guess my days involved in “fandom” outside of being a fan are drawing to a close. My happy place is kind of gone.

I’m angry because this book deserves to be critically read on its merits. I’m angry because I don’t like my voice to be silenced. I’m angry because I think there are fans who actually like the book who are in fact concerned about spoilers, but they don’t realize by silencing or at least quieting the discussion of fans who have read and want to discuss the book, they are only allowing the space for the haters voices to be heard. I’m angry at myself because every step of the way I should have handle this differently. I’m angry because I shouldn’t care so much. It’s not a Jan 6 insurrection, climate change, or world peace. It’s a book by an author who don’t need me to fight these battles.

Finally I’m simply confused about where or what to do. With an account of 100 followers some people who don’t follow me think I’m too loud because I’m posting about something they don’t want on their feed (David’s book) and someone might repost me. Because I feel threaten by people telling me too get smaller my response is to try and get smaller. So I shouldn’t post about David’s book because there are people in he fandom who don’t want to see posts about David’s book. Ok. I should come on Twitter and never interact because that way no one will ever see a post from me they don’t want to see🤷‍♀️. Mercy, I’m on a lobbyist, have you guys seen the political stuff I post on my other account? Yep, probably just the fandom stuff I need to walk away from except for, you know, being a fan, but never discussing it.

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