#Then playing around with the arrangement of the chops.

[avocado-writing]

pairing: logan howlett x reader x wade wilson

rating: E, minors dni, 18+ (mmf threesome; resolved sexual tension; sex pollen; unprotected p in v sex; oral [f receiving]; double penetration)

words: 6.7k

summary: you, logan and wade are on a stakeout after reports of a new drug which only affects mutants. but what happens when you accidentally get a hit of it yourselves…? (the sex pollen fic from the poll! thank you @eupheme for betaing for me, i owe you my life!)

“I spy with my little eye…”

“Wade, I swear to god…” Logan’s voice is a low rumble, a warning.

“Awww c’mon, peanut! What else do we have to do? Indulge me in my childlike whimsy.”

“Let me guess,” you say, shelling a pistachio before throwing it in the air to catch it on your waiting tongue, “you spy something beginning with R-D, which is the rising damp, which is the fourth goddamn time you spied it because there’s nothing else in this fucking place.”

Wade huffs and throws himself back in his chair. 

“Killjoy,” he mutters, and goes back to carving obscene doodles into the side table with baby knife. 

On the first day you were happy to play along, just to ease the boredom and tension which came hand-in-hand with this arrangement. Now it’s been five of them, stacking on top of each other and getting claustrophobic-heavy, the three of you crowded into each other’s space and on the razor’s edge.

Something is going to break, and you’re worried it’ll be Wade’s nose under Logan’s fist.

What a stupid fucking mission. You should never have said yes.

Ever since the whole Void situation was resolved you, Logan and Wade have been X-Men adjacent. Not part of the group exactly but happy to play along if needed. This most recent assignment had been a request from Piotr - there was something going on downtown to do with trafficking drugs which affected mutants, and someone needed to keep an eye on it. Couldn’t be anyone from the mansion, they’re all hands on deck at the moment keeping an influx of kids in check. But the three of you? With no jobs between you and an urge to do good?

It was a problem with an obvious solution.

It’s a stakeout. Which means sitting and waiting and holy fuck is it boring. 

You can tell something is going on in the alley across the street but you’ve had strict instructions not to take action until you see the guy in charge: thickset man with a penchant for misdeeds and built like a brick shithouse. Once you have proof he’s involved, you’ll get the go-ahead to close in and shut the place down in whatever manner you see fit.

But until he comes in, your little trio has no choice but to stay put, watching petty criminals come and go with no idea they’re being monitored.

Life has revolved around watches from the dingy window. Usually two of you will stay up while one of you tries to get some sleep on one of the uncomfortable twin beds that have been provided, but it isn’t easy to drift off when it feels like the mattresses are made of cinder blocks stuffed with broken glass. It isn’t that you’re unused to being in each others’ spaces - if you’re not at their apartment they’re at yours, after all, you are friends - but this is different. You have the luxury of walking away from each other in normal day-to-day life when things gets too much. Here? Here, you’re stuck until you’re done with the job. You’re all tired, irritated, and desperate for entertainment. You’ve even considered chopping off your own hand to watch it grow back, just for something to do.

And the thing is that’s not the worst of it. Ever since the three of you returned from the Void there’s been something there. Something difficult to pin down, exactly.  A niggling little feeling worming its way through your body. Something which thrums every time Wade flexes the muscles in his hand and you see his long, strong fingers; every time Logan grits his jaw and the tendons in his neck throb. 

Oh, right. You sort of really want to fuck them both.

You don’t go through something that traumatic and not have deep-rooted feelings which surpass normal boundaries. You fought for each others’ lives. You’re bonded in a way people rarely are. And the more time you spend with them the blurrier the lines between platonic and fucking soulmate become. You’ve seen both of them stare at you - and each other - when they think you’re not looking, so you’re sure this isn’t something that only you are harbouring. It’s a secret desire harboured by all three of you.

Like you said, something is gonna break. And in this shitty little surveillance room? It’s gonna break soon.

A movement outside. The three of you sit forward to take a look at the evening’s street view, only to fall back into your chairs as it turns out to be a false alarm. Just a pedestrian walking by. You’re going to go insane.

You drum your fingers on your thighs just to keep them busy, then turn to Logan. 

“You got a smoke?”

He cocks a brow at you.

“You want a cigar?”

“Nothing else to fucking do.”

“Whoa, hey!” says Wade, putting his hand on Logan’s arm as he roots around in his jacket pocket, “no no no, you quit last year! Don’t start up bad habits again unless I’m the one convincing you to, pookie.”

“Wade, c’mon. I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t have something to do,” you groan. Plus, really, you’d kinda like something to suck on, just to relieve some of the ache in your belly.

As if Wade can hear your thoughts he pipes up again.

“Well if you’re that desperate to use your mouth, I know what we could play to pass the time…”

You and Logan groan in unison, and he balls his fist in a way which suggests it’s not long until the claws come out. Wade holds up his hands to signify peace.

“Whoa, chill out, honeybadger. No need to get scratchy. You don’t have to join in if you don’t want to… but it’s more fun the more people there are.”

Accepting there’s nothing else to pass the time, Logan lets out a long, exhausted sigh and lets Wade continue.

The mercenary licks his lips as if, for once, considering his phrasing. Then blurts out what he wanted to say anyway.

“We could play blowjob roulette.”

It was a foolish time to take a drink of your soda, because you spurt it out your nose. After a moment of mopping yourself up with your sleeve you manage a, “what?!”

“Well, oral roulette I guess, if we’re being PC about it.”

“Oh my god,” Logan groans, getting to his feet and stomping into the tiny excuse for a kitchenette, grabbing a beer and opening it with such gusto that the cap bounces off an adjacent wall.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything! We just spin the bottle and whoever it ends up pointing out deals out a round of Australian kisses for the other players. Relieves the boredom, and it’s fun to see how long everyone lasts.”

Your mouth is open, you’re sure of it. You’re looking at Wade in abject horror. This has got to just be part of his stupid bravado, right? Making an ill-timed joke?

Because the other option is he’s serious.

Logan drinks. You stare. Wade rabbits on.

“I’m just saying we used to play it at Sister Margaret’s all the time, when we were waiting for new marks to come in and didn’t have anything better to do! It wasn’t gay or anything except for, you know, the rampant homoeroticism of slurping everyone’s gherkin.”

“Did you… did you ever have to do it?” you ask, morbid fascination taking over. He scoffs.

“Did I ever have to… pookie, I’ve taken more loads than my building’s washing machine. Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty fucking great at it.”

He’s staring at you with an intensity which makes you feel like you’re on fire, but from embarrassment or enthusiasm you’re not sure. 

“So?” he asks, quietly, putting a hand on your knee. Your body burns. You swallow. You look to Logan. 

He sighs. Finishes his beer, but in a way which suggests he’s giving in. You see the way Logan’s teeth touch his bottom lip. The start of a fricative. 

He’s going to say fine.

Movement out of the window. You bolt up, knocking Wade’s hand away. He deflates.

“Aww. But I really wanted to - ”

“No, guys - look!”

They quickly crowd you, following where you point. A huge man walks into the alleyway, flanked by underlings, the bulk of him taking up the small space.

“There’s our guy,” you say, “let’s go.”

You descend upon the alleyway in a flash of swords and claws. You tug your cowl up over your nose to protect your face, hand on one of your Brügger & Thomet MP9s as the three of you come face-to-face with the door you’ve been monitoring all week.

“So are we going in sneaky style, or—”

Logan rips the door off its hinges, throwing it down the length of the alley; he is desperate to be done with this. You exchange a look with Wade.

“Okiedokie, asked and answered I guess,” he sighs, grabbing his Desert Eagles from his holsters.

You both follow Logan who’s thrown himself into the middle of the lab claws-first. Two-thirds of the people scream and flee, the others stand their guard and grab their guns.

Fingers on triggers, you take a beat to examine the situation.

Equipment everywhere. Beakers and cylinders you can possibly guess the use for, set up on desks and synthesising something nasty. The boss is standing in the middle of the room, eyebrow cocked and mild annoyance plastered on his face. Bingo. You make a beeline for him, taking a couple of bullets in your flank as you go.

“Cover me!” you shout to Wade. He pulls his katana out of a guy’s head and throws you a bloodied thumbs-up.

“Got your back, pookie! Hate to see you leave, love to watch you spill entrails as you go!”

As if he was predicting your next action, you whip your knife out of your belt and stab it in an assailant’s belly, watching his warm guts slide onto the floor. He releases a strangled noise as he drops to his knees - you make a move to continue on your way to the boss only to feel someone pick you up.

“Shit!” you mutter as you’re hoisted into the air. Wade and Logan stop their onslaught to turn at the sound of your panic, their eyes both going wide as they see you restrained. With a twinned shout of your name they come running to help.

Aww, your boys. It’d be cute if you weren’t bracing yourself for the pain.

Your attacker launches you across the room. A couple of seconds go by as you fly through the air - and then into a table full of test tubes and pipettes.

A great cloud rises into the air. A cloud of spores?

Before you can get a chance to properly read the situation, Wade and Logan are at your side. Sturdy hands grasp around your forearms and you’re dragged to your feet. 

Of course, it goes unnoticed…but all three of you take in a deep breath.

“You okay, baby?” rasps Logan. 

“Yeah, I’m f— move!” you scream, shouldering him out of the way so you can sink your knife into the neck of the man about to spray bullets down his spine. As you rip through the soft skin at his throat something occurs to you. 

‘Baby’? Where did that come from?

Not that it isn’t nice, obviously, but… it’s unlike Logan to show that much tenderness ever. Especially with pet names.

Oh well, no time to dwell.

Picking bits of glass from your biceps you tank a punch from a man closing in on your left, parry his next couple of blows, then shoot him in the dick. Wade has called this a ‘low blow’ before which isn’t incorrect but honestly, there’s no time for fighting fair when it’s 3-versus-30. 

The boss has finally gotten involved. A pair of brass knuckles shines against his fist as he swings at Logan, a meaty crack filling the air in a way which you’re worried might actually have dented one of your friend’s ribs. Wade uses the distraction to stab a katana into the guy’s back, then another one a little further up - using him like a goddamn climbing wall. The boss roars like an animal and attempts to swat him off but there’s no use. His massive bulk is working against him, and Wade can be a fast little motherfucker when he wants to be.

Wade lets out a ‘peekaboo!” as he pops up over the boss’s shoulder, pressing his pistol into the meat of his neck and firing. Blood sprays across the floor but somehow the guy doesn’t stop, not even when Logan picks himself back up and sinks both his claws into his stomach; it only elicits another snarl.

Okay, time to close.

You sheath your guns and go back to your knife, using Logan as a launchpad as you throw yourself off the arch of his back and into the air - stabbing down into the boss’s skull with a dull thunk.

A line of blood dribbles out of his mouth. He starts to fall.

“Uh oh - call me Ke$ha, because I’m yelling timber!” Wade warns. With a snarl Logan rips his claws free from muscle, snatching you off of the boss’s corpse as he stumbles forward under his own weight. Pulling you free you both lose your footing, and you crash down onto your friend.

You look at Logan.

He looks at you. 

Suddenly, his hands clasp around your hips. Probably you move you off of him…

And then you’re on fire. 

Like gasoline has made a line from his touch to your cunt, everything in you is set ablaze. Your pussy clenches and you’ve never felt so empty before - or at least not so aware of it.

There is a cock-shaped hole and it’s begging to be filled.

You expect Logan to freak out, you’re freaking out - you never thought you had a murder kink but you guess you’re never too old to find out something new about yourself - but he doesn’t.

Instead you just see him furrow his brow as if processing something; then acknowledge the press of his hardening cock rub against your thigh as he bucks up into you.

Oh no. Something is wrong.

When you feel Wade grab your shoulder and haul you back to your feet it’s the same, that delicious burning sensation rocketing through you… and from the way he moans as soon as his hands are on you, the feeling is mutual. 

“Fuck. Fuck,” he breathes. Yeah. You want to, that’s the issue.

You stagger away from him with wide eyes and electric skin, a beat passing between the three of you as the people left in the lab decide to give up the fight now their boss is toast. Hearts racing, hands wanting to reach out and touch.

Logan is the one to break the silence.

“We should call in and let the others know we’re done,” he manages. You nod.

“Yeah. Can we… can we go back across the street? I don’t feel so good.”

“Oh, don’t you go Spider-Man Infinity War Part 1 on me,” Wade chuckles. You don’t have the energy to work out what he’s referencing, especially when a jolt goes through your body to your cunt when you feel his eyes meet yours. 

Damn. This is bad. 

“Yeah. Of course, honey,” Logan manages. He goes to put his hand on the small of your back and then thinks better of it, though you can feel its nearness like a magnetic pull. You almost moan when he retracts his touch instead. Wade whips his phone out and fires off a message to let someone know a cleanup crew is needed as you stagger out of the alleyway and back across the street. 

You didn’t bother closing the door when you ran out, too desperate to monopolise on the chance of getting your mark. The three of you tumble back into the room you’d been dying to get out of just a scant few minutes ago, relieved to be in the privacy of its confines again.

A moment passes as all three of you adjust to the feeling coursing through your bodies.

“What’s happening?” you breathe, bracing your hands on the back of your go-to wooden chair and breaking it with the force of your grip. You wince at the sound of splintering, blood dripping down your palms before you feel it heal over.

“I’ve not felt like this since I first discovered how easy it was to masturbate to Good Housekeeping,” Wade groans, whipping off his mask as he flops down onto the battered-up-couch. Logan has made his way to the fridge again, practically ripping its door off to get to a beer which he downs in one swig. Fuck. It’s so sexy. You want to lick the muscles in his neck.

“It’s a pollen,” he states, voice rocky in a way which goes straight to the burning pit of your stomach. You and Wade exchange a look and then turn to him, waiting for further explanation. “Only has a reaction in mutants. Charles said it was something about putting the id into overdrive, like a fuckin’ adrenaline shot to the libido.”

“It… it makes you aroused?” you manage, attempting not to rock your cunt into the palm of your hand. Logan grunts.

“Was trying to be more tactful, but yeah, honey. That’s the idea.”

Honey. The pet name once again goes down your spine.

“Fucking sorry,” says Wade, “someone was manufacturing this stuff as a drug for what? To make mutants too horny to fight?”

Logan shrugs, still not tearing his gaze from his empty bottle, as if to agree it’s his best guess. Wade’s head falls back against the sofa’s arm.

“I mean, damn, they could have just shown me any frame from Magic Mike XXL and it would have had the same result. Seems like a lot of effort.”

Something about the way Logan talks sticks out to you, you circle back around to it. 

“Logan, you seem to know a lot about this stuff… have you encountered it before?”

Another beer grabbed and chugged down, the forward hunch in his shoulders physical evidence of his walls raising. 

“Once. Back in the day with the other X-Men.”

“How did you get through it? Does it go away?”

Logan doesn’t reply. Drinks.

The unspoken answer sinks in.

“Oh my god, you had to fuck it out, didn’t you?” gasps Wade. Logan doesn’t even growl. Jesus Christ he’s right. “Who was it? Storm? Beast? By the love of all things 100k+ enemies-to-lovers-slowburn, tell me it was Cyclops.”

Logan doesn’t dignify him with an answer, instead putting the empty bottle down with enough force you’re surprised it doesn’t shatter.

“It’ll pass. I just need to sit it out,” he reasons, the grit in his jaw suggesting this isn’t the optimal solution. You feel your eyebrows tug together, a crease of concern settling between them.

“But…”

“I’ll be fine.” The way he says it, he’s trying to convince himself more than anyone. With the room in the air practically throbbing he heads to the bedroom, leaving you and Wade alone.

Holy shit. You and Wade are alone.

Your eyes wander over to him, to find his gaze is already resting heavy on you. Your skin lights up.

“So, uh,” he starts, shifting himself awkwardly where his hard-on is trapped in his suit, “you read any good books lately?”

That does help to alleviate the tension and you find yourself chuckling, only for the relief to be ablated when your empty pussy pulses. You whine.

“Wade…”

As soon as you say his name he’s rushing over to you, helping you sit down on the ruined chair. You both moan as hot skin slides against hot skin. 

“Look, it isn’t…” you groan as you slide your hand up his bicep. Fuck, he’s strong. “...it isn’t a crazy idea to help each other out, right? We’re friends. It’s just two friends giving each other a hand…”

Wade dips down to run the bridge of nose along the line of your jaw, letting his lips drop to the pulse in your neck.

“Just friends…” he mutters. You buck up into nothing. Oh, god. You’re going to die here. “Baby?”

Oh shit, oh fuck. You want him to call you that over and over again, stamp it into your fucking mind.

“Yeah?” you reply, the word ripped rawly from your throat.

“I wanted to do this before we even left this goddamn apartment, you think I might have changed my mind after the mutant viagra?”

He pulls back just enough for you to see the seriousness on his face. No, he’s not joking, not saying something dirty just because he thinks it’s funny. 

He’s saying it because it’s true, and it’s both thrilling and terrifying. 

“Can I?”

Oh, it’s so tempting to say yes yes yes… but the more tempting thing is to tease him. Just a little.

You hook your leg over his shoulder and he groans as you dig your heel into the muscle of his back. He groans loud and long.

“Wade?”

“Mmm?”

“Ask me properly.”

His breath hitches in his throat, and you’re pretty sure he’s making a mess in his suit.

“Fuck, can I eat you out, baby? Please?”

You nod so fast you fear you’ll break your neck.

Wade lifts you like you weigh fucking nothing at all, strong arms scooping you up and bringing you to the couch - desperate for more space. His hands move quick and roughly as he goes to the pants on your suit, so wracked with need his fingers shake just from the promise of getting to touch you properly. You help him as much as you can, toeing off your boots and helping him tug your underwear off along with your waistband. His eyes widen as he realises your panties are in his hands. He takes a moment to run his thumb over the cotton of them and he fucking moans. Oh, god damn it, you’re going to be fucking ruined.

“Fuck. Never seen a pussy look this good,” he breathes as he finds himself face-to-face with your dripping cunt. You’re already so wet that it’s embarrassing and, while it would be easy enough to blame on the pollen, you know that you’ve wanted this for months. When he drags his tongue up your puffy, desperate folds, you pretty much combust.

“Oh shit,” you groan, wrapping your other leg round his face to hold him flush against you - not that Wade needs any convincing though, because you’ve never seen a man so desperate to fuck you with his mouth before. He buries himself in you, scarred hands reaching up to dig into the soft skin of your thighs and keep you steady. He wants you at his own pace, it seems, and is strong enough to make it happen. Fuck, you are not complaining.

Wade’s eyes flit upwards to see how you’re reacting as he moves his whole face side to side to bury himself into your cunt deeper. It’s like he’s trying to find where your scent is the strongest and, honestly? With what you’ve heard about this pollen stuff? Seems right on track. He has no hair for you to bury your fingers in so instead you press your hand to the top of his head and pull him closer, because god knows you don’t have the ability to vocalise it. You sink your fingernails in so he knows, though.

Holy hell you’ve never felt so good. The pollen is heightening everything, each movement he makes into you shooting shockwaves through your nerves. Wade’s tongue is insistent in exploring every inch of you, pressing bluntly into your clit; lapping at the wetness seeping from you like he’ll die if he can’t taste what he’s doing to you; dragging down to your ass and toying with you there, too. Yes, fuck, anything he goddamn wants. When his teeth skim the needy folds of your cunt you jackknife into his mouth, almost breaking them clean out of his gums.

“Holy shit, babe. What’s gotten into you?” he chuckles, pupils so blown wide with lust that his eyes are eclipsed with black. You chase after him with your hips.

“Not you, and that’s the problem,” you harrumph. He grins and you see how covered with your slick he is and fuck you are going to die here. 

“I’ll take care of you. That’s what friends do, right?” he asks, putting emphasis on the word you’re both masquerading behind. When you reach out with a searching hand he threads his finger through yours wordlessly, using the other to grab a pillow so he has something to fuck up against. You feel a tiny bit bad for not offering to help but you know he’ll get his in time - in fact just thinking about sucking his cock your mouth begins to water.

He presses his palm into yours as he goes back to your cunt with his mouth. It takes only moments for him to start up his desperate pace again, tongue sinfully sweet, and you’re chasing and chasing…

Stars explode in your vision and in your blood. The noise you let out is feral, a euphony of pleasure and you don’t care who hears. Wade’s eyes drift close as he tastes your orgasm directly at his lips, drinking you down. You’re certain his hips stutter as he comes just from getting you off. Oh god it’s so hot.

Oh god, you’re not done.

Wade surges up your body and kisses you ferociously, you moan at the taste of yourself he gives back. 

“Fuck, yes, do you taste that, baby? What did I do to you? Holy fuck you are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen…”

“Wade, I need you.”

“Yeah, fuck, okay. Let me get this stupid sexy suit off…”

Hands begin to fumble messily, needily at each other’s zippers in order to strip. You sit up to get a better handle on him—

And freeze when you see you have an audience.

Wade follows your gaze to where Logan is standing in the bedroom doorway. He’s managed to get his suit off and change back into his jeans, though you can’t imagine he’ll want to stay in them for long the way his trapped cock is staining dark blue denim even darker. He’s gripping the doorframe with such force that his claws have popped out, eyes a matching pitch black to Wade’s, chest heaving as he watches the show.

“You okay, honey badger?” Wade drawls, a cocky smile dragging across him. Logan grunts. Swallows hard. You go for a softer tactic.

“Logan, sweetheart, you wanna join in?” your voice is husky as you ask, oh so inviting. Logan squeezes his eyes shut and his fist tight, taking a chunk out of the wall.

“Get into the goddamn bedroom, both of you,” he growls. The two of you absolutely do not need to be told twice. Partially undressed you vault over the back of the dishevelled sofa, letting Logan lead the way. As soon as you’re within arms’ reach he snags you around the waist and pulls you in for a kiss.

Logan kisses like he wants to devour you. Rough, commanding, dragging his tongue into your mouth as if trying to claim you. Oh, you’ll let him a hundred times over. You mewl when his hand reaches down you cup your still dripping pussy, immediately swiping a thumb against your clit. It pulses as if Wade didn’t just pull an orgasm out of you.

“Fuckin’ needy little thing,” he snarls, delighted. You reach down to grab the bulge he’s rocking, squeezing hard enough to get him to groan.

“Look who’s talking,” you chuckle. He taps at the top of your suit, an instruction. 

“Off,” he says, but that’s as much as he gets to say, because Wade grabs him by the beard and steers him in for a kiss. You pause for just a second to see what will happen but clearly you needn’t have worried - Logan moans into your friend’s mouth, grabbing a handful of Wade’s pretty decent ass and digging in his fingers. While they’re busy you finish stripping, going for the zipper on the back of the red suit and pulling it down. It’s such a goddamn stupid design having it at the back like a goddamn prom dress - but at the moment you’re kinda thankful for it because it means you get to kiss along the revealed plain of skin. Wade has such beautiful fucking back muscles, you’ve stared at them for long enough to memorise every damned one.

He steps out of the suit when you get to his feet - yeah, he did come just from eating you out earlier and holy fuck are you proud - and lets out a strangled noise when you bite the meat of his asscheek hard enough to leave a mark.

“Fuck, are you gonna rim me? Because if so I’m a thousand percent down,” he chokes, pulling away from Logan’s mouth and leaving a string of spit between them, evidence of a messy kiss. You shrug.

“You want me to, baby?”

Wade seems to have a crisis of faith as he considers this, letting Logan nibble down the length of his neck; eventually he shakes his head though.

“No, I wanna be inside you, like, yesterday,” he confesses. 

“I’ve got enough room for two,” you state, so absolutely sure the pollen will accommodate that you don’t even need to think about it. Both Wade and Logan suck in a breath at that idea.

“Fuck, baby, aren’t you just perfect,” Logan drawls, grabbing you by the hips as you stand up and pulling you to the pathetic twin bed this apartment was provided with. Not how you wanted this first time to go down but hey, at least it’s going down at all. No longer just a dirty fantasy you bury your fingers into your cunt imagining but a real bonafide liaison (boner-fide liaison, Wade’s voice in your head pipes up).

You paw at his jeans, desperate to have all three of you naked and ready. There’s nothing to hide between you any more. Any boundaries have been not only crossed but decimated, absolutely destroyed beyond repair, and you couldn’t be happier. When his cock falls heavy into your palm you can’t help but suck air in through your teeth at its sheer size. Logan chuckles, gravelly and tempting.

“Oh it’ll fit, baby,” he coos, as if reading your mind. Fuck. Yep, it will. There’s no two ways about it. You’re having both Wade and Logan inside you if it kills you.

He wraps you in his arms before you can have any more thoughts on the matter and pulls you down onto the mattress with him, the pollen in your veins making you feel every touch like the end of a live wire - yet you keep coming back to get shocked. Logan positions himself under you, chest-to-chest, grinning at the way your nipples rub against the coarse and gorgeous hair of his chest. There’s a slapping noise and you realise it’s Wade’s hand on Logan’s thigh, encouraging him to move up the bed.

“Big boy, you know you have to scoot up if this is happening. I’m all for fucking the same pussy together but you have to be realistic…”

Obscured by your body, only you get to see the way Logan rolls his eyes fondly at Wade’s blabbering. He manouveurs you both to allow Wade room to kneel on the mattress behind you and you gasp at the feeling of their cocks bullying at your entrance.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, body on fire and desperate to be extinguished by them. Logan hums in your ear.

“I know, baby, I know. We’ll take care of you.”

“And each other. I got sex-pollened too, old man,” Wade harrumphs, rubbing his head against the slick lips of your cunt. 

“Nobody’s forgetting you, princess,” he murmurs, “now be good and put me inside.”

Logan probably misses the soft hiss Wade lets out at that, but you feel the way the mercenary’s hand wraps around his cock and presses Logan to your empty cunt. You moan in pleasure as he follows the path Wade has laid out and pushes himself inside of you, no resistance given. It takes you only a couple of seconds to adjust to the pure size of him. Holy shit, if this were any other time you’d be falling apart by now, but the way your body pumps with desperation suggests one dick alone isn’t going to be enough.

“You okay?” Logan rumbles by your ear. You cling onto him for dear life, nodding.

“Yeah. Fuck, Wade, I know you’ll fit, you’ve gotta fuck me too.”

Wade doesn’t even have an answer for that. Instead you feel his thumb tug at your lips, stretching you for him - or just watching the way Logan fills you, getting off on the filthy way you’re plugged. Another cock begins to press at your already stuffed hole and you whine.

“S’okay, I gotcha,” Logan says through gritted teeth as he feels Wade’s length slide along his own, the feeling almost overwhelming for him. You drop your head to his shoulder and choke on your own spit as Wade forces himself inside of you. Your cunt feels like it is about to burst into flames in the most satisfying way possible, flowering open between them both.

“Fuck, never felt anything so goddamn tight in my life…” Wade manages. Eventually he bottoms out alongside Logan, both of them sitting snugly inside of you, sharing you, clutched in your warmth. 

“There we go,” Logan growls. “You okay, baby?”

Not knowing if the question is aimed at you or Wade you both whine a yes. Logan laughs and you feel his chest move beneath you, all muscle and heat.

“I’m gonna move now.”

He drags himself out of you, inch by glorious inch, like a match striking against a box and sparking an ember. A deep ragged breath shudders through you at the feeling of it but it is nothing compared to how he slams back inside. Lights flood your periphery. You are going to fucking die between these two men and that is fine. Heaven, even.

Once Wade feels Logan’s rhythm it is too much of a competition for him not to match it. The mercenary’s arms fall either side of your bodies to support himself as he works himself in and out of you, sliding deep as Logan retreats to the tip. Your cunt makes a lewd noise as they piston inside of you and you have never cared about anything less in your life. You are bathed in light, high off this, euphoric over being fucked. A tiny rivulet of drool falls from the edge of your mouth into Logan’s chest hair and he curses at the glorious rawness of it all.

Above you, Wade has finally found his voice again.

“Look at you taking us so well. Oh, fuck, goddamn. I’ve wanted you like this for so long. Remember when we were neighbours, honey? Those guys who you used to bring home… fuck, baby… I used to give myself the old low-five to the sound of you getting fucked…”

You make a pathetic little noise which spurs him onwards. Wade’s mouth drops to your ear.

“...and I used to get angry because I knew I could do it better myself.”

“Oh my god Wade…” you whisper. Tears are beginning to pool in your eyes at the way you’re starting to get overstimulated, two cocks hitting that sweet spot inside you verges on being too much. Were the pollen not still in full force you’re sure you’d need to tap out.

“And you?” Wade’s hand grips Logan’s bicep, squeezing appreciatively. “Do you know what it’s like to wake up every morning and see you shirtless on my couch, and not be able to fuck you? You do it on purpose, peanut, I swear…”

Logan chuckles again, that deep honey-rich sound eked out in magnitudes. 

“And what if I do, Red?”

Wade pauses in his thrusting, you don’t have to see him to know that his eyes are wide.

“Wait, what? For real?”

“Wade!” you whine, reaching over to slap at his arm, annoyed that he’s stopped moving. “Can we all just agree we’ve gotten off to the thought of each other and we’d have fucked eventually anyway?”

The men either side of you seem to think it’s a good compromise to come to and redouble their efforts. All you can do is to cling onto whatever muscles you’re able to find and ride the wave of pleasure. Fireworks go off in your synapses, brain a messy goo of euphoria, cunt fucked out and thoroughly taken care of. 

They speed up, thrusts getting messy and arrhythmic and yet still somehow matching, and you know that they’re going to come together. What a fucking treat, how divine, oh god. Logan’s hands sink into your ass to keep you anchored as his cock goes faster, skin slapping on skin as his sac moves against Wade’s - causing the merc to let out a string of curses - and you’re suddenly flooded with his warm, sticky cum pumping inside you in jets. Wade whines at the feeling of himself being doused and follows Logan’s lead. The filthy cocktail of them drips around both their lengths and out of your hole, falling onto the pathetic mattress below. One last little nudge of the hips is all it takes to push you over the edge again. Your next orgasm is dragged out of you… but you know your body will demand more.

For now, though, respite. The urge to reach that peak again immediately has at least settled for the moment.

“Holy fuck,” you sigh. Logan hums an affirmative note, fingers playing with the small of your back as Wade peppers kisses across your shoulderblades.

“We should go on stakeouts more often, if this is the nice little bow everything gets tied up in,” Wade sighs, dreamily. You nod against Logan’s chest. His hair rubs your cheek deliciously. Your pussy throbs again, reminding you this dirty escapade needs to continue soon. “So what does this mean? Are we a little mutant charcuterie now?”

Your brow furrows as you try to parse what Wade has just said.

“Oh. Wade, baby, do you mean ‘coterie’?”

Logan bursts out laughing, a noise you’ve never properly heard before, and it has you grinning - and Wade, too, even though he grumbles a little at being corrected. Their cocks jostle inside you and you feel them getting hard again and, as you prepare yourself for round two, it’s nice to know that whatever the three of you face at the end of this will be happy.

Three days later, you’re laid across the couch, head in Wade’s lap and legs in Logan’s, all tangled together as you get the single worst telling-off of your life.

“Non-lethal mission, Wade! How many times did I have to tell you, it was meant to be non-lethal!” Piotr shouts down the line. Wade grimaces.

“Look, there were other things we had to sort out first, okay? We kinda forgot about the no-killing part. Besides the guy can’t traffic drugs if he’s dead,” he confesses. You can picture Piotr’s disappointed face.

“Other things!? WHAT other things, Wade?!”

“Okay so there was this horny pollen, and we all had to—”

Logan grabs Wade’s phone and hurls it across the room. It shatters into pieces against the wall. Wade gawps.

“Hey! That was new! Well, okay, not new, but it wasn’t cracked. Well, it was cracked, but it had all my best dick pics on there!”

“You can take new ones,” Logan states. 

You smile. Yeah. The charcuterie is nice.

[tricky-pockets]

My boyfriend keeps looking at me like 😐... 🥚 when I tell a story that happened pre-transition and it gets funnier every time, so I present to you, in no particular order,

egg shit that SOMEHOW did not tip me off:

Played in numerous d&d campaigns in college; didn't play a lady character even once.

Invented a male persona so I could sub in when my boyfriend's frat was a man short for Beer Olympics.

Maintained that male persona and later pledged the frat.

Was regularly the only girl invited to Boys' Night because "you're a guy like at least 40% of the time anyway".

Planned elaborate costumes every halloween; never once went as a lady or anything lady-adjacent.

Actually won 'Sexiest costume (male)' at a theatre event.

Regularly auditioned for male roles in theatre productions. Landed a small part in an all-female production of As You Like It as Silvius and was never more psyched to be in a play.

Watched Ouran High School Host Club straight through by myself; felt weird and immediately chopped off all my hair about it.

Messed around with my college boyfriend while in boymode, using masc pronouns and an assumed name.

80% of my wardrobe in college was hand-me-downs from that same boyfriend.

Went as a wizard for halloween multiple times as a kid, with the beard and everything; never once considered being a witch.

Invented a male persona in middle/high school just for going to hockey games with my uncle.

Made out with more than one gay dude who said "I don't know what it is about you, I'm usually never attracted to women."

Ended up effectively living in my buddy Jake's dorm room every single year, no matter what my official living arrangements were.

Started wearing Old Spice in high school because a boy I liked wore it and I liked how he smelled. Pulled the same move in college with a particular brand of shampoo.

Wore the men's jeans+high-impact sports bra combo in an astounding number of photos.

And I didn't know! My oblivious ass sat there in my boyfriend's old pants with my titties tied down, calling myself Jack, playing a male illusionist for the 76th time in a d&d game with my frat brothers and making plans to go to Boys' Night afterwards for Streetfighter and beer, and I didn't figure it out.

[jennarations]

The Ultimate Lestappen Fic Masterlist ™

Hello all. This list has about 70+ fics within it. That’s just under 1,000,000 words solely dedicated to the Carbonara Leclerc-Verstappens. (yes i counted) I’ve tried to maintain my organization throughout, but if something looks a little janky or feels out of place, let me know. (Lord knows I never made this list thinking I would make it public but alas, here we are) The key is simple:

> (Title) +/= (Multichaptered/One-Shot)

(Summary)

!!! (Link)

• (Tags - please note these are just the tags I saw relevant to myself, double check the fics themselves for any other tags you might deem relevant!) *(Word count)

Now I’ve put a ♥️ next to all of my personal favorites. Remember, this is a masterlist and a fic rec if that’s what you’re looking for. I will never read (or record) any fic that is not up to my personal golden standard; so everything you see below has been read and vetted by yours truly 💋 I will also tag my favorite authors at the bottom of this post so you can go view their pages and send them some love :^) Note: All of these works are on Ao3. There is only one WIP in this list and it is stated with the fic. Now go crazy you animals ;))

(p.s. some of the fic descriptions are quite long, but with respect to the authors wishes I feel that it would be a dishonesty to chop them off though so you’ll have to deal with it) Here we go!!!!!!!! (under the Read More)

> Home (Is Wherever I’m With You) + ♥️

Or: Charles leaves Ferrari, tries to win a championship, and learns some things about belonging. All the while, Max is there.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/40801053/chapters/102234501

• Angst, Fluff, Red Bull!Charles *17.9k

> On The Limit = (Series - Objects in the Mirror) ♥️

Two Formula 1 drivers walk into a bar and accidentally have a heart-to-heart.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43252263

• Angst, Heart to Heart *6.8k

> Leave No Space = (Series - Objects in the Mirror)

Max Verstappen fucks men sometimes. Charles struggles to cope.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43505271

• Falling in Love, Charles is depressed, Charles is moving to Red Bull *31.7k

> All To Play For = (End of Series - Objects in the Mirror)

Charles Leclerc is not at Red Bull to win races. He is here to win championships.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46910503

• Nasty Breakup w/ Happy Ending, Charles is so depressed, Pain, Angst, Red Bull!Charles *49.3k

> I Think There’s Been a Glitch = (Series)

or: Max sits on Hüllkenberg’s lap during a press conference. Charles is decidedly Not Normal about it.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46107499

• Teasing, Crush, First Time, Charles POV, Bottom!Max *5.5k

> Room 309 = (End of Series)

or: what happens in room 309

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46397647

• Max’s POV, Smut *8.2k

> Undress Me to the Naked Truth =

or: Charles and Max celebrate post-Austria 2022

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46761448

• Smut, Established Relationship, Bottom!Max *6.8k

> The Rest is Unwritten =

Max ran, like his husbands life depended on it.

Weaving his way around the paddock, murmurs of a black flag and unresponsive boring through the crowds. All he could do was get to Charles.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46203964#main

• Angst, Husbands, Crash *1.5k

> Monaco Malaise = (Series)

Max and Charles have been hooking up for a few months, casually, no string attached — definitely no feelings involved…

The disaster that was Monaco 2021 sees them in Charles’ apartment, with Max having to deal with the fact that Charles can’t get out of his head.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43192021#main

• Smut, Slight Angst, Slight Fluff *8k

> Azerbaijan Abnegation = (End of Series)

After Monaco, Max thought he’d made up his mind about Charles, and their little arrangement.

They’re in Azerbaijan and Charles is everywhere: in his head, in his messages, in his hotel room…

Will Max be able to hold onto his resolve, or will his attempts at self-denial only prolong the inevitable?

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46781737/chapters/117829006#workskin

• Angst, Smut *16.9k

> Ribs =

He wakes up all weird on Monday. Charles can feel it the moment he opens his eyes. It’s like an odd weight on his chest that evolves into something a lot more achy and sharp emanating down his torso as he starts crawling out of bed.

Or: Charles injures himself before the last race of the season. The only option is to power through it.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/44784424#main

• Fluff, Established Relationship, WDC!Charles *2.6k

> You Could Call Me Babe For the Weekend + ♥️

Or: There are lots of ways to love Charles Leclerc, Max maybe learns all of them through the years.

Featuring: puddles, stargazing, unsolicited driving lessons, and the overwhelming fear of growing up.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/42042690/chapters/105559215#workskin

• Angst, Teenagers, Falling in Love *12.3k

> Got Your Tongue =

It’s the middle of the night, there’s a stray cat in Charles’ bedroom, and only one person he can think of to help him. The rest is just a misunderstanding.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46854709?view_adult=true#main

• Fluff *2.9k

> Do You Want Me (Dead)? =

When Charles accidentally comes out to Max it shouldn’t really change anything. It doesn’t change anything.

Until it does. In fact, it changes everything.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/44626003#main

• Angst, Pining, Fluff, Happy Ending, FIFA in Suzuka *12.5k

> How to Babygirl-ify Your Boyfriend: A Comprehensive Guide by Charles Leclerc =

Charles sees someone on the internet call Max babygirl. He’s instantly obsessed.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/45295756?view_adult=true#main

• Smut, Fluff, Bottom!Max *4.5k

> Silly Me (For Falling in Love With You) = ♥️

“We’re not asking you to ‘woo’ him,” Christian says, looking pained at having to say the word ‘woo’, “We just need others to think you’ve wooed him.”

“I’m not following,” Max says, frowning.

“A PR relationship,” Poppy explains. “You pretend to date, making the public think you’re all happy and in love. Then you reap the benefits of being in a relationship without actually having to put in the effort or work.”

“Absolutely not,” Max says, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s depressing, I’m not doing that.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/44464324#main

• Fluff, Angst, Fake Relationship, Non-F1!Charles *18.3k

> Glitch + ♥️

Max hums. “Well, at least that means I won’t bump into Charles Leclerc again.”

“Bummer, really,” Daniel says, moving back to his own seat and drinking the little bit of coffee that was still in the cup. “Could’ve been the start of a great love story.”

Lando snorts. “Kids, it all started when I told your father, who had won two World Driver Championships at that point, that he sucked at driving.”

Max sticks his middle finger up at them, and pulls his noise canceling headphones back over his ears. Only two hours left to go, he thinks, wistfully, and goes back to work.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46316224/chapters/116609527

• Angst, Fluff, Funny, Programmer!Max *26.6k

> Heart On Your Sleeve =

The thing about having a racing helmet that constantly displays your emotions for the whole world to see, is that you kind of get used to it after a while. These days Charles almost forgets it’s even a thing.

Almost.

But then he goes and falls in love.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/45717973#main

• Pining, Magical Realism *4.8k

> You Can Hear It In the Silence =

Or, the five times Max and Charles accidentally fall asleep together, and the one time they do it on purpose.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43882683#main

• Pining, Sleep trope, Fluff *7.4k

> You’ll be Alright = ♥️

Charles is not an idiot. He knows there’s a part of him that has been at least a little bit in love with Max for as long as they’ve known each other. But he’s always been able to shove it down. Burying it under rivalries and competitiveness until it was getting hard to differentiate between love and hate. And that had worked, for a really long time.

And then Max had to go and barge into his life and be really fucking cute with his baby.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/45348790#main

• Kidfic, Fluff, Slight Angst, Max is great with kids, Falling in Love *19.2k

> Maximum Formula =

“Welcome back to another episode of Maximum Formula, I’m your host, Emilian, and this is the first episode for the F1 2022 season. There will be plenty to talk about, but first I’d like to introduce our first guest of the season: Charles Leclerc. Welcome to the show, Charles.”

Or, Charles tries to become a world champion with Ferrari.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/45691483#main

• Angst, Falling in Love, Podcast!Max, Identity Hiding *20.4k

> Violent Delights +

Max can’t smell any of his usual aggression beneath the unusual spatter of Omega, sweet yet violent, and it makes his head spin.

“Max,” is all Charles says, voice breathless. He looks over his shoulder, quick, hasty, looks back. His eyes are wider, if possible. “We have— we have fucked up, I think.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/41445333#main

• A/B/O, Alpha!Max, Alpha!Charles turns into Omega!Charles *15.5k

> Petrol =

Max scoffs. He steps closer, smile a little real. It lets Charles see the tiny freckle on his lip, dark and undying, always zoomed in on when his face is in HD. Chuckling, Max scratches at his stubble. “I didn’t know you liked Red Bull.”

Automatically, Charles corrects, “I hate it.” It says too much.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/41359482#main

• Smut, Angst, Denial, Bottom!Max *4.2k

> It All Reminds Me of You =

Pierre turns, and with him, the object of his distasteful frown. “Why do you have a Red Bull cap in your apartment?”

Charles tenses. He looks between Pierre and the cap, still held tepid between two fingers, dark blue and flat-brimmed and garishly branded with a sick sense of obvious. It feels wrong, just looking at it. There’s a big red 1 emblazoned on the front.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/40279869#main

• Angst, Smut, Secret Relationship, Switch!Max, Switch!Charles *3k

> Proximity =

These kinds of smiles on Max are reserved for other people. Like Daniel, like Lando, like those Dutch guys that come around sometimes and he likes to yell with.

Not Charles.

It’s probably the fourth time Max is acting noticeably strange around him that he notices the freckle on his lip.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/40737591#main

• Angst, Smut *6.7k

> Want It Good Want It All =

When Max puts the disc into the cartridge of his PS4 he isn't sure what to expect.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43761192#main

• Sex tape, Masturbation *2.1k

> Algorithm + ♥️

Tired of all the internal team conflicts, the F1 powers-that-be have developed a simulation-based compatibility test for drivers and their teammates.

or

Five times Max doesn’t find the right partner and one time he does.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29561109/chapters/72650025#workskin

• Magical Realism, Compatibility Simulations, Fluff, Slight Angst, Some Maxiel in the beginning *16.9k

> In the Dark You Can’t See Shiny Cars +

In the summer of 2022, the quiet neighbourhood of Les Amants in Monaco becomes the epicentre of a strange weather phenomenon.

or

A dark cloud hangs over Charles’ head—unfortunately not just a metaphorical one. Max sets out to investigate.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/41147001/chapters/103144245

• Magical Realism, Charles accidentally controls the weather, Fluff, Slight Angst *14.5k

> Panem et Circenses =

Panem et circenses, the Romans called it. Bread and circus to appease the people.

The bread is always in short supply these days, ever since the wheat fields burned down. So that just leaves-

“The brave new world of Formula One,” Crofty’s voice comes out distorted from the circuit speakers. “Ten teams. Twenty cars. An auspicious new technical programme that combines the top edge AI technology with the most skilled drivers to deliver the best spectacle ever seen.”

-

In a dystopian near-future, Charles and Max drive for survival.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/40704441#main

• Dystopian future, Sentient F1 cars, oppressive Regime, Hope, Angst, Falling in Love *13.2k

> Every Other Sunday + ♥️

The grainy pictures are pieced together like a crude comic strip, sketching a poorly thought-out narrative arc that somehow made it onto the front page of every sleazy newspaper.

EXPOSED!: The secret gay double-life of F1 driver Max Verstappen

-

Max navigates the aftermath of being outed in the press, and Charles is always there.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/34827223/chapters/86722561

• Slight Angst, Fluff, Smut, Max has been outed, Charles does some soul searching, Motorhome club, F1 family antics *34.5k

> Soak Up the Sun =

“What do you think?” Charles asks, leaning back into the seat as he turns the laptop so Max can see the options.

“I think—” Max starts, “—that this can wait until after FP1.”

Charles’s lips curl downwards, and Max wants to kiss the look off his face. “There’s still like an hour until it starts. There’s no one even looking for me yet.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Lestappen_Summer_Exchange_2022/works/40998603#main

• Fluff, Non-Linear timeline, Getting together *6.8k

> Like a Prayer =

It was sinful to have such thoughts but then Charles had never been one to shy away from sinful desires. Stood at the alter the priest looked glowing, his strong cheekbones and jawline illuminated by a wash of colour. Charles’ gaze followed the beams of light back to the stained glass, he tried not to think too long about the image of Christ etched on to the window. This was a sacred place, but there could be nothing more deserving of veneration than the God who had so kindly sculpted the body of Father Verstappen.

Or

Charles is an F1 driver and Max is a sexy priest.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Formula_One_Kinkmeme_Round_One/works/44838136#main

• Smut, Religion, Priest!Max *3.2k

> We Go Way Back =

They were the same in the end. Yes, Max was an alpha, and Charles was an omega, but that didn’t matter. If you took racing from either of them, there wouldn’t be anything left.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43936200?view_adult=true#main

• A/B/O, Alpha!Max, Omega!Charles, Smut, Fluff *13.8k

> Close Proximity =

A hotel mix-up forces Max and Charles to share a room. There is only one bed.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Formula_One_Kinkmeme_Round_One/works/44503150?view_adult=true#main

• Smut, One bed trope *3.5k

> Pens, fingers and most definitely cock ... a random list of things Max likes to put in his mouth =

Max has an oral fixation, Charles is happy to oblige. This is a story of their developing relationship as told through the things Max likes to put in his mouth!

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Formula_One_Kinkmeme_Round_One/works/44205019#main

• Oral fixation kink, Smut, Fluff *2.7k

> FIA Approved Stress Relief =

It’s the strangest briefing Charles has ever been a part of. Ever. Which is saying something because this time last year he was sat wide eyed as the Fia tried to bring in mandatory checks for Fia approved underwear and intimate piercings. A few team principles had helpfully offered their services and it had ended in a rather heated debate over whether that fell under their job description.

It didn’t compare to this though.

As director of the GPDA it’s been left to George to run through the basics of the brand new Fia approved sex doll. Charles was sure he had misheard but no, as it turns out, the Fia really have lost their minds.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Formula_One_Kinkmeme_Round_One/works/44059752?view_adult=true#main

• Sex Doll, Smut, Pining, Voyeurism *2.3k

> Long Live (The Walls We Crashed Through) + ♥️

“What are you doing?” Charles asked, his voice cracking.

Max blinked at him once before he smirked and said, “Well... I was going to kiss you.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“Why?” Charles repeated, feeling like his legs were going to give out.

“Is that not a good enough reason?” Max asked.

OR: The childhood best friends to lovers fairy-tale-soulmates fic that nobody asked for. Charles has been in love with Max since he was seven years old.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46190509/chapters/116284681

• Fluff, Smut, Best friends to lovers, Slight Angst *76.8k

> Viva la Miami =

Max raced all over the world and was used to different climates. But there was something about Miami’s sticky, muggy, make-your-phone-screen-fog-up kind of scorching heat that made him feel fucking crazy.

It made him want to strip naked and jump in the bright blue water surrounding his hotel.

It made him want to fuck.

OR: Max and Charles hook up for the first time, and it's very different than what Max had pictured.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46963513#main

• Smut, PWP, Top!Charles *8.2k

> I’ll Be Right Beside You = ♥️

Max stared at Charles’ closed eyes and how they twitched in his sleep. Objectively, Max knew that Charles was probably the most beautiful man he had ever seen. But... this was Charles.

Charles Leclerc.

Big, cry-baby Charles.

Sauber #2 driver Charles.

When did he decide that Charles The Driver would become Charles The Boyfriend?

He wishes he could remember.

OR: The self-indulgent Amnesia AU that nobody asked for. This is my love story to Charles Leclerc, thank you for coming along. Warning: this fic may break you.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/42990660#main

• Amnesia, Graphic Accident, Angst, Pain, Fluff, Smut *50.7k

> Breathe You In (Like a Vapor) =

OR: the self-indulgent story of how Charles and Max fell in love over winter break 2022, in a classic Enemies to Friends With Benefits to Lovers fic that nobody asked for.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/45079192?view_adult=true#main

• Smut, Fluff, Falling in Love *53k

> And That’s How I Foksmashed Dad’s Championship Trophy =

All of that would have been forgivable if not for the Green-Eyed Monster’s complete disregard for the pre-contracted occupation rights of Max’s lap. Such rights had long been pre-determined and belonged to Sassy (and occasionally to Jimmy, she admitted begrudgingly). However, no amount of quiet hisses and vicious glares seemed to penetrate the creature’s thick skull, and he would greedily occupy Max’s thigh for more than 95% of any given afternoon. Sometimes with his head, sometimes with his feet, and a few times he even straddled his entire body over Max; the latter could not have been comfortable for Max, as the Green-Eyed Monster was enormously overweight compared to Sassy.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/43833321#main

• Fluff, POV!Sassy and Jimmy, Funny *6.5k

> Set My Midnight Sorrow Free =

He doesn’t blame Max, not really.

If he could have Charles for one night, he would never let him go either.

Maybe he isn’t the one who is losing; Max is also playing a losing game.

You can’t open yourself to Charles and try to exist in his charmed life without becoming irrevocably enamoured.

When Max let Charles walk into his motorhome, when he let Charles slip into his existence, Max didn’t know it then but the battle was already lost.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31552340#main

• Angst, POV!Pierre, Falling in Love, Jealousy/Pining *13.4k

> All of You, All of Me (Intertwined) =

Or, two future teammates get high, get on Mattia Binotto's wrong side through an inadvisable escapade involving fairy lights, get on a plane, and get a stuffed armadillo named Chax. In that order.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/42627222#main

• Fluff, Slight Angst, FWB to Lovers, Future Red Bull!Charles *12.8k

> The Grid: A Comprehensive Guide for Handling your Gay Racer Friends =

Or, Charles and Max, and the handbook birthed from their idiocy. Featuring a large number of baked goods.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/33291136#main

• Fluff, Humor, Friends *6.3k

> we're fallin' like the stars, we're fallin' in love = ♥️

"So, do we need a signal for when things are going downhill and you need me to save you?" He asks, a glimmer in his eyes that seems so unfamiliar yet familiar that Max feels it like a sucker punch to the stomach.

"Just have the vodka waiting." Max laughs, flicking his gaze down to the gentle grip that Charles has his wrist in before he releases and Max turns around with pink cheeks and crosses the restaurant to join up with his date once again.

(Lando sets Max up on disastrous blind dates that end up with Max falling for the bartender who was the real set up all along.)

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047056/chapters/66033652?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_668986186

• Fluff, Non-Driver AU, Blind dates, Bartender!Charles *8.7k

> Pick Apart the Pieces of Your Heart =

"I reckon-" George says in-between scenes, "- that Charles is Gatsby."

Lando tilts his head back to clock Max's reaction but it's nothing except confusion etched on his face as he scrunches his nose up trying to figure out what George means,

George holds his hand up and continues to explain, "Gatsby threw all these big parties in the hope that Daisy would go to one of them, right? Charles throws a party every other day and I think it's because he wants you to go." He says to Max

alternatively, Charles is Max's nightmare neighbour until he's something much more than that.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489348/chapters/61832617?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#main

• Fluff, Angst, Non-Driver AU, Apartment neighbor AU *6.3k

> We’re Making Gold Dust = (Series)

They’re carefully walking, skipping and hauling themselves across any gaps. The morning air feels crisp and fills Charles’ lungs until it hurts, but god, it hurts in the best way that it’s ever hurt him before. He takes pictures, videos but tries to remember the feeling most of all.

It feels like home.

The best people, the best places, the height, the element of danger, it’s everything that Charles hadn’t imagined his life to be five years ago but maybe it’s right after all.

alternatively, a fascination discovered at fifteen leads to love, trust and healing whilst breaking the rules and climbing things that aren't supposed to be climbed.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374812#main

• Angst, Non-Driver AU, Parkour AU, Falling in Love *13k

> Two Burning Hearts (It Would Last Forever) =

In the end, it does turn out that your soulmate can be the person you least expect and neither of them don’t think it could have been anybody else.

alternatively, Charles and Max are soulmates and for the most part, they hate it but should have seen it coming.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23363920#main

• Soulmate AU, Angst *2.5k

> All the Lights (Couldn’t Put Out the Dark) = (Series - The Warming Verse)

“Charles,” Max said, his tone soft again and breaking Charles of his thoughts. “Please just ask me for whatever you want to ask me. You don’t have to keep explaining yourself.”

Charles laughed again, his cheeks bright red.

“Could I... sit on your cock for a little bit?”

OR: Charles is overwhelmed and wants Max to make it better.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46165159#main

• PWP, Cock Warming, Feelings *7.5k

> The Right Place (The Right Time) = (Series - The Warming Verse)

“Charles,” Max said, his tone gentle.

Charles didn’t move his hands away from his face.

“Hey... look at me,” Max said softly.

Charles took a deep breath and finally let his hands fall.

Max looked at him for a long moment, their eyes locked together before he asked, “Would my cock help?”

OR: In the aftermath of the shit show that was Melbourne, Charles turns to Max for comfort.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46332700#main

• PWP, Cock Warming *9.7k

> Something New (Let’s Not Get Complicated) + (Series - The Warming Verse)

Max smiled at him, his expression soft despite how hard he was against Charles’ hip.

“Pretty boy,” Max mused, brushing Charles’ hair out of his eyes.

“Shut up,” Charles huffed, flushing bright red. It only made Max smile harder.

“You’re even prettier when you tell me to shut up.”

“Shut the hell up, Max,” Charles squeaked.

OR: Charles and Max finally talk about their Feelings™

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46896289/chapters/118129207#workskin

• PWP, Cock Warming, Size Kink, Dom/subspace, Daddy kink *31.7k

—Please note there may be more works in The Warming Verse, I may not be caught up***

> Fair Winds and Following Seas = ♥️

Max lets out an impatient sigh and looks at Lando as he washes the shot glass before putting it back. “Well who is it?”

Lando rolls his eyes. “You’re no fun.”

“I’m delightful, now come on,” Max presses, trying not to show he’s getting curious. “Who is this mystery person?”

“Charles Leclerc!” Lando says with a bright smile, he’s almost jumping up and down with excitement. “He’s chartering the yacht for the week!”

“Charles Leclerc?” Max repeats, raising an eyebrow. “The Charles Leclerc, F1 driver for Ferrari, is here?”

Or

Max works on a super yacht during the summer to make some money to invest in his sim racing career and Charles happens to charter it for the week.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48088906/chapters/121258555?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_671144260

• Non Driver!Max, Yacht shenanigans, Fluff, Slight Angst, Mentions of Smut *24.8k

> Carry Me in Your Heart (You Know You’re Never Gonna Leave Mine) =

“You are the reason he started learning German?!” Lorenzo practically gasps, honest-to-god glee on his features. Charles hates him.

“But Max is Dutch,” Arthur says.

Charles groans, his hands trailing in front of his face in an effort to disappear from the situation.

-

AU where you can sometimes see through your soulmate's eyes.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/42022176?view_adult=true#main

• Soulmate!AU, Growing up together, Angst, Harsh breakup, Angst with a happy ending *30.2k

> No Brakes On = ♥️

Max is a race car driver. Charles is a movie star. They really shouldn't work, but they do.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48170218#main

• Actor!Charles, Slight Angst, Character study, Fluff, Strangers to lovers *32.5k

> Lost In Your Current Like a Priceless Wine =

"What did you just say?" Max asks in a flat voice and Charles gives him a strained smile.

"I might have accidentally told my mom that I have a boyfriend and now she's demanding that I bring you home with me for the New Year. Actually, she said Christmas and New Year, but I told her that you were spending Christmas with your own family..."

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28535271

• Fake dating, Non-Driver AU, College AU, Fluff, Slight Angst *10.2k

> You Got Me =

When Max looks up he stares into pretty green eyes behind black rimmed glasses. His hand is still blindly feeling around to find the books—his brain lagging—as he stares at the guy from last night. He straightens up and Max follows, staring dumbly as he holds out the books for Max to take.

“Thanks,” Max says, feeling like an idiot as he takes the books, their fingers brushing for a split second. This was not how he wanted to meet again. “Again, I’m so sorry.”

The guy smiles and Max thinks he might just die a little when he notices he has dimples. Of course he has dimples.

Or

Max falls head over heels for the cute guy at a college party and he can't stop thinking about him (aka the lestappen college au nobody needs).

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49182076#main

• College AU, Fluff *16.6k

> This Feels Like Falling in Love =

Five kisses throughout their lives, and the one that started it all.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49162735/chapters/124043815?

• Podfic, 4+1 fic, Kid fic *3k

> Closest I Get = (Series)

“It doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything, right? It can be just about sex, nothing else.” Charles steps forward, into Max’s space. Reaches out a hand, lets it run over Max’s cheek, leans a little closer. “Just sex,” he whispers, in the ever diminishing space between them as Max leans into his touch.

“Fuck,” Max whispers, screwing his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his mouth. “I shouldn’t, I really shouldn’t-“

Charles cuts him off by lurching forward and pressing a kiss to Max’s mouth, quick and fleeting, but then Max groans, grabs Charles’s waist, pulls him closer, kisses him hard. Charles melts into it immediately, overwhelmed by Max’s scent, by his hands on Charles’s waist, his mouth on Charles’s.

It’s like something clicks into place, when they kiss.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49230871#main

• A/B/O, Alpha!Max, Omega!Charles, PWP, Angst *4.8k

> Heart Held Close = (End of Series)

“Just sex,” Charles whispers in his ear, and he’s coming closer closer closer and Max is getting swallowed by the sun, Charles’s smell bright and enticing and all around him.

Max let’s out a heartfelt, “Fuck,” as he feels himself tipping forward ever so slightly, his rut dumb brain taking over, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that is still screaming at him that this is a terrible idea. “I shouldn’t, I really shouldn’t-“ He tries, but it’s weak at best.

And then Charles kisses him, and it’s all over.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49276354#main

• A/B/O, Smut, Angst, Happy Ending *7.8k

> A Force More Powerful Than Gravity =

Charles studies goop in his lab. Goop is actually a very attractive alien.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/LestappenWeekSummer2023/works/49302043#main

• Non-Driver AU, Alien!Max, Scientist!Charles, Fluff, Slight Angst *4.5k

> Give Yourself Up To Me =

For the safety of his people, Crown Prince Charles is willing to do anything.

Anything.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49300402/chapters/124403428?

• Non-Driver AU, Royalty AU, Angst *1.5k

> Amazing Grace =

“I win!” Charles announces when he has Max pinned to the ground by his wrists, a wild grin on his lips. His chest is heaving, there’s some dirt on his cheek and in his hair, and Max can’t help but grin up at him.

“No you don’t,” He argues, mirth in his eyes. “You only win when you capture my sword!”

-

They're teenagers. And then they're not.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49325872/chapters/124469185?

• Non-Driver AU, Swordsmen AU, Angst *1.5k

> Red Bull’s Golden Puppy =

In a memory box tucked away deep in their minds, Charles, Max and Chloe Leclerc-Verstappen, share their biggest memories and photographs. Adopting a pet named after the original Red Bull golden boy Sebastian Vettel would soon join that club.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/LestappenWeekSummer2023/works/49313617#main

• Kid!fic, Future family, Established Relationship, Fluff *1.4k

> This Love Asylum =

“Are we still having dinner with your mother?,” Max asked, his arm still on Charles’s waist, Sebastian’s low whistle now hard to miss. “I didn’t know you went to dinner with the Leclercs.”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I do! My mum told Pascale I was only having takeout when I’m here. It worries her, you know? So when we’re here, I’m supposed to have dinner with Charlie and his mum at least once a wee—ow! Hey!” Charles had elbowed Max, causing the latter the pout while another pout was already on Charles’s face.

“I didn’t know Sophie and Pascale were friends either,” Sebastian was having the time of his life and Max being oblivious about Charles’s whole situation was the icing on the proverbial cake.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/LestappenWeekSummer2023/works/49312864#main

• Fluff, Sebastian!POV *1.5k

> Dangerous Games =

Too late, Charles realises he’s been standing rooted in his spot, and Max looks over his shoulder, a questioning look on his face, “Is everything al—,”

“Suck my dick.” Charles blurts out.

Max’s eyebrows shoot up. Charles’ cheeks are bright red. “What?”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/collections/LestappenWeekSummer2023/works/49276297#main

• Non-Driver AUCollege AU, Blowjob, Slight Smut *1.9k

> Eighteenth Summer =

Max wanted to burn it into his memory, engrave bits and pieces of it into each of his senses. The way the blue sky reflected off of Charles’s massive sunglasses, the smell of the hot asphalt mixing with Charles’s cologne, the nearly hysterical sound of their laughter as their playlist finally shuffled to Mr. Brightside; everything felt so precious. So fleeting. Moments memorialized on the 101 northbound, flying out of their open windows and away from his greedy fingers.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49253491/chapters/124280527?

• Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Summer in California, High School AU *5k

> Middle Child Syndrome +

After all, Charles being a middle child always made a lot of sense to Max.

Max’s unwillingness to deny Charles anything always made a little less sense to Max.

Standing on the third place podium beneath the Monegasque flag made a lot less sense to Max.

The fact that he wasn’t mad about it, a warm sense of acquiescence spurred by Charles’s smile, made it all click.

He was in love with Charles Leclerc, and he always had been.

Or: A small collection of memories leading up to a realization on the podium of Baku 2023

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/46979311/chapters/118348648#workskin

• Fluff, Realization of Feelings *3.6k

> Rules of Engagement =

“Take me with you then!” Max felt his eyes go wide, his jaw literally dropping at the suggestion. “Tell them I’m like. Say I’m your fiancé, mate.”

The heat had melted Charles’s brain, Max decided, staring at him blankly.

“No.” He deadpanned.

“Mate it’s genius! You won’t have to do anything, just stand there. Let me handle it. Them. The women.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49006156#main

• Fake Relationship, Roommates, Non-Driver AU, Socially inept!Max *7.2k

> All the Stars We Cannot See = ♥️

Sitting on his roof, bathed in wintery silence, Max prayed to be rescued. To whom, he wasn’t sure. Maybe the force that branded his wrist, the universal power that decided who to tie him with forever. Perfectly. Something like fate.

Max prayed to fate, then.

“Am I interrupting something?” The man’s accent was French, his tone unusually assertive for a question of intrusion.

“It’s not my roof,” Max shrugged, hopping back onto the ledge.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49182697/chapters/124096612?

• Soulmate AU, Non-Driver!Charles, Mentions of Child Abuse, Mentions of Sickness, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Happy Ending *9.8k

> Lie to Me =

5 times they told the truth + 1 time they tried to lie

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49206214?view_adult=true#main

• Soulmates AU, Angst, Smut *5.3k

> Shut Up and Drive +

Max pointed at Charles’ bags. ‘Is this all you're bringing or will there be more?’

Oh so he was making fun of him now, well Charles could do the same. ‘You mean more than the four white t-shirts you brought?’

Max blinked at him for a couple of seconds before his entire face lit up and he giggled. He giggled.

‘Good one, and I actually brought five t-shirts,’ Max replied, still smiling.

Was he serious? Charles hoped not.

OR: Charles and Max are 'forced' to go on a road trip together, whatever could go wrong?

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49181029/chapters/124092070#workskin

• Road-trip, One bed trope, Enemies to Lovers, WIP *

> Partiality =

“Okay, this is—,” Max stops himself. His eyebrows knit together and he’s obviously frustrated with something. “I know this isn’t what you wanted,” He says slowly, when he gathers his thoughts. “But I’m not going to force you to treat me like your—,” Max makes a face. “Your alpha.”

Charles coughs. “But… You are.” He points out.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49230259?view_adult=true#main

• A/B/O, Alpha!Max, Omega!Charles, Fluff *2.4k

> You Went, and It Was Night =

“I can hear you thinking from here,” Max says suddenly. His voice sounds husky, used, wrecked. It sends a shiver down Charles’ spine. He did that. “You’re being very loud.”

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49182070/chapters/124095055?

• Slight Angst, Fluff, Charles is thinking *900 words

> Sort You Out (Heart Out Series) =

Charles can't tell which is worse — that he can't remember the sex he had with his childhood rival, or how according to her, it wasn't even good.

!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/49340395/chapters/124508077?

• Girl!Max, Pining Charles, Slight smut *6.3k

Here are some of the best authors in the Lestappen field. Please go follow and send them some love!! They are doing the Lord’s work!!!!!!

@nyoomfruits (nyoomfruits on Ao3)

@drivestraight (Linearity on Ao3)

@fabbyf1 (Fabby on Ao3)

@charlescoded (lazarusgreeneyes on Ao3)

@fueledbyremembering (NovaCloud on Ao3)

@wanderingblindly (Wanderingblindly on Ao3)

@hoewedeshummels (Monzas on Ao3)

-Only Ao3 username is known-

Actparci

Anney

*Authors, if you want to be untagged, or you want your fics pulled from the list, shoot me a dm :)

[costelloschoice]

"Nice Riding, Girl"

-Mizu x fem! cowgirl! reader

-warnings: nsfw, fingering, pet names, praise, riding ofc, sub! Mizu, dom! reader

-minors dni or ill steal your family’s pet

-it’s my world and you all are just living it in. I’m bringing back cowgirl reader cause this is my dream right here

-!this is inspired by this post by @roninzuzu!

This scene felt familiar to Mizu.

Here she was again, living a domestic life in the mountains far away from society. Only this time, she wasn't arranged to meet someone. Mizu had met you on her own and fell in love with you, a foreign cowgirl who managed to sweep her off her feet.

You were such a hard worker. And you never wanted Mizu to help since ‘a pretty girl shouldn’t get her hands dirty’, but she still helps feeding the chickens and sheep, and brushing the horses. Sometimes she’d pretend to come outside for some important reason just to see you move heavy stacks of hay, wrestling the chickens to get them out of the coop for you to clean, or, her favorite, watching you chop wood.

Mizu loves how you always managed to make her smile, even with the little things. When you managed to convince her to get a dog so you can have ‘someone to protect the sheep at night’, but Mizu loved watching you play fetch with the dog. Hell, you built the dog its own home off the side of your house. You loved the dog so much and she named the dog, "Kai".

She couldn’t be happier with anyone else. She slowly stopped wearing her masculine clothing around the house and wore typical kimonos. Mizu also loved how you would come up behind her while cooking just hold her waist and kiss her neck…before you had to take over the cooking since she’s not the best at it. But she loved it this way and so did you.

It was late afternoon when you decided to take a horse ride. Mizu never refused riding her horse with yours, wanting to share as many memories possible. She was impressed how you never used a saddle to ride, you told her that you grew up learning to ride without one and kept it that way. But Mizu also love how you always helped her up on her horse, even though she more than capable of doing it herself.

As you two rode your horses fast, your giggles and laughs were heard by the trees around you. She smiled as she saw you ahead of her, “Slow down!” then you would laugh and yell, “Well keep up better, darlin’!” you smiled and turned your head forward to keep riding steady and fast. Your hand resting on top of your cowgirl hat she grew to love as you and your horse 'Slowdancer' were ahead of her.

Once you two finally find a spot by an orange tree, Mizu goes to lay under the tree, using a small knife to peel her own orange while you collected some for home, "You know something baby doll, I haven't had an orange since I was home in America," you said, jumping to grab an orange from a branch. You instantly started to peel an orange to eat it, smiling as you recognize the sweet taste of the fruit.

She giggled as you ate the fruit sloppily, seeing how happy it made you. The sweet juice of the fruit ran down your chin and throat. The site of you devouring the fruit made her remember how you devour her at night...

As you finished and wipe your face, turned to her eating the fruit slice by slice. Smiling and feeling giddy, you sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her, "Taste good?" you asked. She nodded, looking up at you as she ate the citrus fruit. Once she finished, she tossed the orange rime to the side, taking in your warmth instead.

After a while of just sitting and talking, you get the bright idea of rough housing. You were a tough girl, and she knew it, seeing you fight in battle was one of the ways she knew. They way you handled your pistol and how you fight fought them was extraordinary to her. You softly tackle her to the ground, giving her what you called a "noogie", rubbing your knuckles on top of her head. She laughed out and tried to push your hand away, "Stop! Please!" she laughed, managing to flip you over on your back, sitting in your lap.

You looked up at her, eyes wide. She looked so beautiful on top of you. You smirked flipping her over, you can play this game as well. Mizu knew this meant war...figuratively speaking. The both of you stood up to start play wrestling with each other. Your combined laughs and giggles filled the air, the pink and orange hues in the sky creating such a beautiful core moment for the both of you in your relationship.

You smiled as you picked her up, spinning her around as she laughed loudly. The wind blowing their direction made her feel like a princess, "Put me down!" she smiled, her hands resting on your shoulders. Wrapping her legs around your waist, humming happily as you put your hands on her ass to keep her up and support her.

"You look beautiful, baby doll...You should wear your hair down more often," You smiled, kissing her cheek. The samurai blushed, holding your cheek as you kissed her, “I just might now that you mention it..” she says, returning the favor and kissing yours. She hold on tightly as you sat down with her still in your arms.

She smiled resting in you lap, hands rubbing from your shoulders to your chest. She pays attention to little details on your buttoned up shirt. How the floral designs are put in stitch by stitch, the use of different fabrics, and the small stars on your buttons. Mizu felt your hand creeping up her exposed leg, “Mmm…darlin’…Your skin is so smooth,” You praised, moving to kiss her exposed neck, slowly moving your lips.

Mizu rested a hand on the back of your head, keeping you close. The soft breeze makes her shiver slightly, so you held her closer. It was only you two in on these mountains, no one else in sight. Even if there were, you don’t care, you wanted to make love to your woman.

Before she could say your name, you pulled her hips close to yours. Mizu could feel something hard in your pants, “Are you…wearing it?” she asked, making you nod as you kiss her neck. Now the situation got hotter and heavier.

“Grind down, girl…” You instructed, making her nod and listen to you. But she also had a surprise for you since she wasn’t wearing underwear underneath her kimono. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of your kissing her neck and grinding down on your strap that was in your pants. Her moans were soft and light, body shuttering at the feeling of your lips and your strap.

Your hands got curious and moved the top of her kimono, wanting to see her breast. You pulled away from her neck, the wet spot from your mouth shining in the light from the sunset. Your mouth gravitated to her breast, lightly sucking her left breast. Mizu moaned accordingly, trying to undo the buttons to your shirt. She fiddled with the buttons, stopping her grinding monetarily to try and free your breast.

But you lightly smack her hands away, groaning as you flick her nipple with your tongue. Your hand sneaked down to move her kimono, exposing the fact she wasn't wearing panties. You tsked, "Naught, naughty..." you whispered, your middle finger rubbing along her slit.

Biting her bottom lip, she looked down to watch your hand. You always had a way with her body that no one else could match up with. Was it because you were also a woman and knew the sweet spots? Or were you just a sex god? Either way she didn't care, she loved it.

Your middle finger slipped in, curling to hit her sweet spot. The warmth around your finger felt like home, hitting that sweet little button inside to make her louder. Mizu clutched your shoulders, heavily panting and her moans were higher pitched, "F-Fuck..!"

You then added another finger, smiling at her moans and reactions. Wanting more, you moved your fingers faster. You wanted nothing more than to make her feel good, "Look at you, taking it all so well.." you mumbled, fumbling to open the button of your pants and zipper. You pulled out your strap, stroking it as if it was your own cock.

You leaned down to dribble your own spit on the fake dick, your hand coating it with your own saliva. Mizu blushes at it, it felt so dirty...But so hot. Your fingers continued to work her cunt and your fake cock, smiling up at her, "Wanna ride your cowgirl, baby?" you asked, a smug look on your face and she nodded rapidly. You couldn't help your heart skip a beat as she looked at your with her lust-filled blue eyes.

You leaned back on your left forearm, taking your fingers out of her to grab your strap, "Ride it, girl.." you said, watching her nod and move her hips up on the dildo. She moaned as she moved down on the cock, groaning at the feeling of being full.

You laid all of the on your back, looking up at her. Her breast were out, bouncing as she moved up and down, her kimono opened to show her pussy taking your strap. Her eyes were closed as she bounced, moaning loudly. Mizu's sounds were swallowed by the trees and you, but unlike the trees, you listened and enjoyed them.

"Nice ridin' girl...You look so beautiful bouncing up and down like that," you praised, rubbing her hips. The scene in front of you was better than any other view before this one. She looked so beautiful bouncing and grinding against you, the orange tree's branches behind her moving to the wind.

You let Mizu take her pleasure from you. She shouted your name, her hands now resting on your breast, squeezing roughly as you were generous enough to thrust your hips up into her. "Fuck yes! You feel...s-so good. Ah..! Thank you my love..!" She groaned, earning herself a slap on the ass, "Good girl...Thankin' me without havin' to be told to do it.."

Your hips thrusting to match hers was making her movements weak as you took the reins. Mizu leaned forward, receiving kisses on her cheek as you thrusted into her at a fast pace, "Good girls take cock so well....You a good girl?" you asked, breathing heavy as your thrusts weakened her, "Yes! Yes!" she moaned resting her head in the crook of your next as you thrusted.

Her hands rested on yours, grabbing your wrists as she felt close. Her stomach felt like it was doing cartwheels, you knew how to fuck her good and she loved it. "I'm coming, fuck! I-" she moaned, trying to focus on the treatment you are giving her.

Her mouth opened wide but nothing coming out. Then she let a finally moan, grabbing his wrist tightly as she came. You stopped your movements, not wanting to overstimulate her...at least not this time.

You kissed her forehead and moved your hands on her back, "You did so well, baby girl...You know how to ride don't you?" you asked, making her nod. She lifted herself up, making eye contact with you, Before you she could say anything, she felt an orange drop from branch and hit her on the head.

You gasped then started to laugh, rubbing her head, "Are you okay?!" you laughed, her nodding and giggling, "Yes...I'm fine..." she hummed, before smiling at you. She then leaned down and kiss you, enjoying the rest of the sun set with you.

"I just noticed something..."

"What is it, darlin'?"

"...You kept that stupid hat on the entire time.."

[makeyoumine69]

Till Death Do Us Part (Chapter One)

PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader; [no y/n]

SUMMARY: After moving in with Patrick Bateman in his luxurious Upper Manhattan apartment, it didn't take long for you to get into trouble, as your future husband couldn't stand anyone being bossy in his own home.

CONTAINS: Arranged marriage & enemies to lovers trope, explicit sexual content, violence, mild gore, dub-con, Patrick being a dick, drugging, toxic behavior, dirty talk.

WORDS: 3.3k

A/N: Here's the first chapter of the writing project I've been working on for the past few months! I hope you enjoy the journey!

LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [AO3].

Life is such an amazing thing.

Sometimes it can bring us challenges that seem impossible, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Do people always say things like that? Well, maybe they do, but in your case, that was exactly what your family told you the day you found out that you had to marry Patrick Bateman—a ghost from your past, a boy who used to bully you, then an arrogant Harvard student best known for the number of girls he fucked.

Not to mention how much you hated him and everything associated with him whenever your mother tried to start a conversation about the good old days when you were a kid playing with Patty, ah, the childhood nickname you used to call him. It all felt like memories from your past life, not your present one.

How you were going to survive it all now, only God knew.

1987, New York.

Patrick stared down at your sleeping form on his couch, a plastic cover over the expensive fabric you slept on. It had been a few days since you had moved into his apartment. The man remembered clearly when his mother told him about the arranged marriage. It had happened a few days after she had told him about his breakup with Evelyn. The whole situation made him angry. Patrick never wanted to get married, and if he had to, it certainly wouldn't be to a girl like you. Memories of your moments together during childhood and high school flashed through his mind. They were pretty blurry—just like any other memory of his, but he knew that there weren't any positive memories. 

Patrick ran his hand over his face, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. He tore his eyes away from you and moved quickly into the kitchen, tying his robe tighter around his waist. 'She's not even blonde,' he thought bitterly as he began his routine of brewing a fresh pot of expensive coffee.

The sudden sound of the coffee maker made you jerk back onto the couch, but the moment you opened your eyes, a bitter realization washed over you like a tidal wave—this was not a dream and you were really in Patrick Bateman's apartment. And you were about to marry him, which was actually the worst thing that could happen to you.

Carefully, you got up from the soft furniture and went to the kitchen to check on your future husband, trying to pretend to be a good fiancée, just like your family wanted you to be. "Good morning," you mumbled as you watched him take the ice mask out of the fridge. "Did you sleep well?"

You bet he did, because unlike you, he slept in the big comfortable bed while you slept on the couch, although it was your choice, but at least you expected him to be a gentleman and offered to take his bed, which never happened.

Slightly annoyed, Patrick kept his focus on the coffee pot, his gaze fixed on the way the coffee grounds turned to liquid. He tensed noticeably when he heard a second voice and turned to look at his future wife. Blegh. 'Actually, I didn't sleep at all, Rebecca. I spent all night chopping up a hard body in the back alley of Barcadia,' he thought to himself, his face stoic. "I slept well." He spoke, his voice steady with a hint of annoyance. 

The pot banged, letting him know it was ready. He mechanically grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured himself one, dropping two Xanax pills into it before taking a sip. The bitter liquid slid down his throat, calming his nerves and replacing the usual mask he wore. The man spun around to face you. "There should be some oat bran in the top cupboard…but I think you could stand to skip a few meals." He smiled, his eyes remaining empty as they bored into you.

Frowning, you rolled your eyes at his comment and turned to leave the kitchen. "I'm not hungry."

‘What a fucking arrogant bastard,’ you cursed and went back to the living room where you noticed a magazine with wedding dresses. God, now you remembered that you probably fell asleep reading that stupid magazine with the ugly dresses—they really were ugly and you didn't care if they were high fashion.

When you saw him join you in the living room, you tried to ignore him at first, but then you heard the sound of clothes being taken off—the sight of Bateman's perfect body clad only in white underwear embarrassed you, but you still didn't move.

"I had a thought—maybe we can postpone our wedding a little?" You asked suddenly, looking at him as he began to stretch out on the floor. "I have exams in my internship and I need to prepare for them."

For a while, the only sound in the room was Patrick's heavy panting as he began to do crunches, the way his muscles tensed with each movement, stirring something strange in your core that made you claw at your skin to distract yourself.

"No, negative." Bateman spoke, not bothering to look at you. "Your family and my family were very specific about the date," the man said before moving onto his back and doing crunches. He huffed as he moved, his abdominal muscles tensing and flexing. As he worked himself up, he suddenly stopped and huffed, moving to sit on the floor. "Why don't you make yourself useful and put in that Texas Chainsaw Massacre tape?" He asked, pointing at the TV; his eyes then drifted to the magazine. "You might as well pick something. If you don't, we'll just dress you in a cinched garbage bag. An expensive garbage bag."

With a wry smile, you scoffed at his statement about the wedding and dressing up in an expensive garbage bag. But the last thing you wanted to do was argue with him when you had to work and study today.

"Garbage bag doesn't sound bad from what I've seen in this magazine," you commented briefly, getting up to turn on the TV. "I don't understand why this wedding is even necessary. I'll survive if I don't get my picture on the front page of the Times." Your muttering was soon interrupted by the sound of the movie.

You looked at the cover of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre tape for a while—it looked pretty scary, but cool, and you were genuinely curious why Bateman was so obsessed with movies like that.

"Do you watch anything else besides horror movies?" Your tone was artificially friendly because inside you didn't really care. "I mean…I don't think it's weird, just…asking."

Bateman watched you move before quickly grabbing the remote from the table. He started tapping the forward button and watched as the scenes on the TV flashed by. Frowning, the man sighed when you started complaining again. "The wedding is necessary because both our families want it. Why is that so hard for you to understand?" He asked condescendingly, his focus shifting from the TV to you. You were attractive, he supposed—nice tits, a full ass, an…okay face. But he knew he could do better. 

Patrick looked back at the TV before it played his favorite scene—near the end of the movie where the final girl screamed bloody murder as Leatherface wielded a chainsaw over her head. The sound was like music to him. He paused the tape to answer your question. 'Porn,' he wanted to say, but instead he said, "I don't know…maybe…not really." Then he turned off the TV and got back on the floor. 

Something about the scene seemed to rile him up, because he started doing his stomach crunches much faster. Small beads of sweat ran down his temples as he groaned softly until he finished—doing 50 in just one minute. Then Bateman moved over to start doing push-ups, the muscles in his back rippling through his skin. He paused for a moment before sighing and stopping his routine. "Price and Daisy," he paused again, unsure if that was the name of Price's new girlfriend. Maybe it was Carmen? Dalila? He couldn't remember and frankly, he didn't give a shit. "Um, they have reservations for four at Barcadia…tonight at 7:00. So…you know…try to wear something nice."

Abashed, you almost dropped the pencil at your fiancé's request. "Something nice?" You repeated, looking down at your medical book. "You mean wear something that makes me look like a slut?"

With a muffled chuckle, you put the book down on the coffee table and lay back on the white couch. You were completely indifferent to social life, in your opinion it was just a waste of time and money, and you never understood why your family was so obsessed with it.

"Who is Price? I don't even remember all your 'friends'," you grimaced at the last word and kicked your legs in the air. "You can take Courtney instead of me or any of those other chicks you always hung out with."

Memories of the Harvard years flooded your mind without permission. Patrick, surrounded by an endless number of girls, walking in front of the main building. Damn it! Why did you even remember all that shit? But then another memory came to your mind, there was a charity banquet your family attended where you finally met Bethany, the girl Patrick had been dating since they were at Harvard. Bethany was so beautiful and slim, just like the model. 

Caught up in your thoughts, you seemed to miss what Bateman was saying. "If you said something, could you please repeat it?"

Patrick furrowed his brow, the lines in his face creasing slightly as he frowned. "I'd rather have a slutty wife than someone who looks homeless." He scoffed and stopped working out, deciding that he was done with his exercise routine. His face suddenly felt very heavy, as if the small amount of oil was wearing him down. He had to wash up immediately.

"Timothy Price-" Bateman spoke as he quickly walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open to answer any more tedious questions you might have. He casually opened his medicine cabinet and began to scrub his face with his expensive ointments. "A dress will be here in a few hours. I want you to try it on. If it doesn't fit, call my tailor. His number is on my nightstand." The man shouted, put the mask on his face and let it sit for a few minutes. 

When Patrick heard your ranting again, he groaned in exasperation. He quickly stormed out of the bathroom, the shiny mask still on his face. Bateman grabbed your hair in his fist and pulled it, tugging your head back so you could make eye contact with him. "You…get…dressed." He spoke slowly, slowing it down for you. "If the dress doesn't fit, call a tailor." Patrick pointed to his bedroom door and let go of your hair.

Bateman's sudden anger scared you to death, but you didn't even make a sound. It was only after he released you and returned to the bathroom that you allowed yourself to sob barely audibly, covering your face with your hands.

‘I don't want this marriage. Fuck, I should have accepted to marry Vincent when I had the chance, but my stupid family would never allow me to marry an ordinary man, not a fucking billionaire.’

Crying, you stood up on shaky legs, wanting to wait for Patrick to leave and call your ex-boyfriend or maybe your brother. You hugged yourself before slowly sneaking into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Unfortunately, your hands were shaking so badly that you splashed water all over the kitchen counter and floor. A paralyzing fear of his rage made you panic, and you had to quickly find something to clean up. When you couldn't find anything and heard his approaching footsteps, you decided to act desperately and before you knew it, you took off your top, leaving yourself exposed as you were not wearing a bra. Then, you crouched down to clean the floor with your fucking shirt. You didn't care because it was just a piece of cloth; his anger was much more frightening.

Irritated as hell, Patrick went back to the bathroom, his angry expression returning to his stoic one. He hardly thought about his sudden act of violence. It was the only way to get you to listen, but he couldn't deny that he got a little thrill out of it. 

As the man peeled off the mask, he thought about what would happen if he pulled a little harder. If he broke your fucking neck and chopped you up and threw your parts in a river. Or maybe he could nail you to the ground and let a bunch of hungry wild pigs eat you until there was nothing left. He soon finished peeling off the mask, crumpled it up in his hand, and threw it away. 

A short time later, Bateman came out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the kitchen. He noticed that you were no longer on the couch, which annoyed him. The thing that annoyed him most about you living with him was the lack of control he had. You could just do whatever you wanted and go into any room. Touch all his possessions. Patrick stopped in the doorway, his eyes widening slightly at the sight; his eyes trailed down your body, your curves. The man felt a sudden heat between his legs, his boxers suddenly feeling tighter. 'Damn it,' he thought. Aroused, Patrick ran his fingers through his disheveled hair, deciding what to do. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he had an idea. Maybe now he could show you who was really in control. Smirking, he stepped closer to you, his crotch in your line of sight. He stepped on your shirt, stopping your movements. "Worry about that later…if you're going to strip in my house, you should do it in the bedroom." Bateman spoke quietly, pulling up his boxers. "Go." He pointed to his bedroom again.

As soon as you heard his voice, you instinctively covered your breasts and glanced up at his almost naked form—he looked even bigger from that angle.

"Don't touch me," you whimpered suddenly, crawling back a little. "Say what you want, but please don't touch me." You used Bateman's confusion to slowly get to your feet, leaving your wet top on the floor as you didn't dare ask him to let you take it. 

'Gosh, his eyes are literally glowing with rage. Or maybe it's not anger?' A brief thought flashed through your mind as you retreated into his bedroom without turning around.

In the bedroom, you sat carefully on the edge of his large bed, picked up a random robe and tried not to think about how many women had been fucked here, as you were about to throw up from such a realization. Patrick didn't follow, so you sighed with relief, thinking that he would probably leave you alone—finally. And that meant that your plan to call her ex-boyfriend was still relevant.

Meanwhile, after watching you leave, Bateman quickly opened his cupboard, grumbling as he shoved food away. "Where's that…" he muttered before grabbing the drugs he was looking for. Ecstasy. Perfect. Patrick then took out a flute-shaped wine glass and poured his most expensive champagne, placing two pills inside and watching them dissolve. The man knew that you probably wouldn't be very… willing with what he wanted to do—not without help. 

Soon Bateman walked into the bedroom and saw you on the bed. With an artificial affection, he handed you the glass, a warm smile on his face. "Here. It's my most expensive brand. It's a... peace offering for what I did to your hair." The man purred, touched one of your locks, twisted it around his finger and pulled away. "My behavior can be…erratic at times." 

There was something strange about his sudden tenderness, but you felt too upset to think clearly. Scared of his recent rage, you took the glass and before you decided to try it, you gazed at him, knowing that something bad was going to happen, but you didn't really have a choice.

"It's very…very sweet," you commented, looking at the glass and licking your lips. "Is it supposed to be that sweet?" Frowning, you studied him with your big doe eyes before closing them for a moment. The taste of this chapmange was very strange, even after you drank more. "Aren't you going to drink as well?" You asked, feeling your head start to spin.

Snickering mischievously, Bateman watched you drink and nodded. "Of course, but I'm sure you've never had this brand. It's quite high-end." He confidently turned away from you and walked over to the camera on the tripod, pointed directly at the bed. The man pressed the record button, a tradition he had for every session. It didn't matter if it was a random prostitute or his future wife. 

Then he moved to a dresser on the other side of the room and opened the drawer. His finger brushed against the objects inside: three different knives, a bent coat hanger, matchsticks, dildos, vibrators, lube, and a box of condoms. He took the box out, leaving the drawer open for later. "I'm not thirsty," Patrick remarked. "Besides, I have to be at work in a few hours. I really can't get drunk." He smiled and sat down beside you again, running his fingers down your back, feeling your spine through your skin. "You have a really nice body."

Stunned, you shivered at his sudden touch. "W-what are you doing?" You asked, but didn't flinch.

'God, how many times did I imagine us like this in college? How many times had I imagined being his wife? And now my life had decided to punish me in such a cruel way because the boy I'd fallen in love with since childhood was a completely different man, and now I had to marry him.'

Bateman sneered suddenly, his warm expression turning to one of annoyance. "Nothing. Can't I touch my fiancé? Or are you one of those…after-marriage women?" Patrick smiled again. He didn't think he'd ever want to be intimate with you, but you really did have a nice body. Besides, he'd have to get used to it.

"Mmh, I shouldn't drink too, because I have to go to the hospital today…" you mumbled and turned to face him, only to gasp at how close he was. "Patrick…what's in that box?" You pointed at the small box in his hands.

The man laughed and jabbed his finger at the glass in her hand. "You've already drunk half of it!" Patrick murmured in an amused tone. "I'll call for you. I'll tell them you have a cold. Then he looked down at the box in his hand and shook it. "Condoms. You probably don't want to look pregnant at the wedding. It'll ruin the photos and stretch out your dress." Bateman leaned closer to you. "I think you and I should…you know…get it on. What do you think? If you're going to marry me, you might as well get used to my cock."

"Did you say…cock?" You almost choked on your drink. "We...we didn't even share a bed, and you're suggesting we have...sex?"

The champagne seemed to begin to cloud your mind and you didn't even notice that you had finished your glass. Then, all of a sudden, you tried to get up, but almost fell to the floor.

It was over. It was so fucking over.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[tightjeansjavi]

🎀 Unwrap Me 🎀

A blue jeans n’Texas dreams Christmas special 🤍

A/N: Merry Christmas, you filthy animals 🥵

~word count: 2.6k~

Pairing | horse dad!joel x f! reader

Summary: it's your first Christmas with your boyfriend, Joel Miller

Warnings: smut, fluff,soo much love between these two, so much kissing and soft touching, mentions of Christmas, unprotected piv, oral (f receiving) dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, sex by the fire, no age gap, pre!outbreak/no!outbreak Joel, soft! joel,horse dad!joel, boyfriend!joel, Ellie and Sarah exist in this universe, reader has no physical descriptions such as skin color or body type, +18 minors dni!

It’s Christmas Eve, your first Christmas spent with your Texas Tall Glass of water. A lot has changed between you and him since Fourth of July weekend. You had gradually moved your life into Joel’s. It had started off with sleepovers, more shared memories at the breakfast table that had become a part of your routine norm. Dinners, movie nights, date nights, driving Sarah to school. You and Joel were nervous that the transition period of living together would sour, but when you love someone, you communicate and make the appropriate adjustments so that you and your partner can both be happy.

So when you suggested separate rooms so that Joel could have his own private space, and you could have yours, he quickly realized there were more pros to this arrangement than cons. Plus, it created a healthy boundary, and the level of intimacy you shared together was heightened as a result. Who doesn’t love having sleepovers with your Texas Tall Glass of water? They were so fun.

You were becoming the definition of a happy family, and this Christmas was special for all of you, but especially Ellie and Sarah who were officially sisters. The adoption process went smoothly back in August, and Ellie finally knew what it was like to have a real family who loved her unconditionally.

The month of December flew by in a blur and you and Joel found yourself wrapping gifts last minute because everything had to be perfect for the baby girls. Joel was beaming with excitement despite the amount of times he had accidentally gotten a paper cut from the damn wrapping paper, or a piece of tape got caught on the table, or his ribbons didn’t turn out the way he had planned. But thank goodness you were there to help him with those gentle hands of yours. He watched in pure adoration while you fluffed up one of his ribbons before setting the wrapped gift under the tree.

You were both wearing matching plaid Christmas pajamas, working side by side while It’s A Wonderful Life played on the nearby tv.

You only stopped your shared wrapping duties when the scene where George Bailey and Mary Hatch were dancing together, having fun and being carefree.

Joel tossed the tape to the side before he gently grabbed your hands and playfully pulled you in front of the tv. He dropped one hand to your lower back, pulling you flush against his sweater clad chest. You danced in front of the tv like two fools that were madly in love, and by god were you in love with this man.

It wasn’t long before he was kissing you by the fireside, easing you onto your back and only departing from your lips to grab a few pillows and a blanket from the couch so he could create a little love nest for you and him to fuck on. It couldn’t be anymore romantic. A crackling fire, glittering lights on the Christmas tree that Joel chopped down with his own hands. (What a sight that was)

His lips and hot breath kissing your skin, fingertips dancing, sweaters being thrown carelessly so you could feel one another more easily. Always needing that skin to skin contact. The thick drag of his cock stretching you open, the gentle roll of his hips, a strong arm wrapped around you, holding you close. Calloused fingertips brushing your chin, easing your head back so you can meet his lips in a dance once more.

He licks into your mouth, hot, shuddered breaths of mutual pleasure. His beard tickles your skin as you feel yourself consumed with all of him. Eyes rolling back, dumb smiles planted on your lovesick faces each time he fucks into you with that steady rhythm of his.

You draw one another in closer to your peaks, praises tumbling from your lips, toes curling, his thumb strokes your clit with his own neediness to feel your clenching pussy milk him dry as he spills into you, hips stuttering, moans muffled by a bruising kiss.

He softens inside of you, fingertips dragging across your navel, drawing patterns against sweat stained skin.

Another kiss treasured before he slowly pulls his hips back, softened cock slipping out, glistening under the warm glow of the fire in yours and his come.

He leans over, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “hot chocolate or tea before round two?” He drawls warm and deep, that raspy post-sex voice of his sending another gush of arousal between your come painted thighs.

“Hot chocolate..splash of Bailey’s?” You hum, reaching for his jaw, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“I like your thinkin’, sugar.” You can taste his boyish grin on your tongue before he departs to the kitchen.

Your Texas Tall Glass of water has gained so much confidence in himself these past few months that he’s shared with you. You’ve always been there to gently remind him that he’s a good man, a good father. That it’s okay to be hurt sometimes and that his feelings are valid. That you’ll always be there to listen, to guide him because he’s done the same for you. He’s taught you what he knows best, filling your brain with his knowledge of contracting, showing you the ropes of his skill.

and in turn you have taught him everything you know about horses and in those short few months, Joel has found himself fully immersed in your world. The business of Dream Riders has significantly grown, and your little herd of six horses has since doubled, and Joel was there with you every step of the way. Javi P, the chestnut, antsy OTTB unlearned his hatred of men through Joel, and you never thought you’d see the day.

The quiet and reserved rescued mustang named Din has found himself a place in the herd with his little donkey friend, Grogu always at his heels.

In the low kitchen light, Joel finds himself thinking of his future with you by his side as he tops the steaming mugs of hot chocolate off with a few marshmallows. Meeting you was one of the best things that had ever happened to him outside the birth of his daughter. He really wasn’t one to believe in all that mumbo jumbo about soulmates, but here he was, smiling dumbly out the kitchen window because maybe they did exist; soulmates and all that.

He heard your sweet voice travel to his ears from where he stood, missing his presence already. The thought sent his heart swelling up like a balloon.

He found you sprawled out in the love nest he built, with only the blanket to cover your modesty. Your eyes drifted upwards, glistening from the glow of the fire, hand outstretched in his direction because you really did miss him for those short few minutes apart.

“Sorry, honey bun. Was jus’ addin’ a few marshmallows s’all.” He crouched down, setting his mug off to the side before he handed you yours, leaning down to steal a quick kiss before he made himself comfortable in the love nest once more with his legs comforting laid out near the fire.

Your hot chocolates were enjoyed in a comfortable silence as the fire continued to crackle.

He rested his weight back on his elbows while you found your head resting in his lap, fingertips tracing patterns along his bare thigh.

“Do you..think we got them enough gifts? Can’t believe how expensive a damn PlayStation costs.” He chuckled, shaking his head with a grin.

“Oh, I think we got them plenty of gifts, cowboy. I just can’t wait to see Ellie’s face when she opens up the PlayStation, and when Sarah sees the new custom tack set I got for her and Frankie?” You said softly, leaning into his touch when the warm expanse of his large hand came to rest along the exposed skin of your lower back, fingertips brushing the curve of your ass beneath the blanket.

“I’m gonna tear up just thinkin’ about seein’ their faces in the mornin.’”

“You stop that right now, baby. Cause if you start, then I’m gonna start too.” You giggled softly pressing your cheek further against the warm expanse of his thigh. “I hope you love what I got you, Joel.”

“Baby, I already got everything I want right here. What more can a man ask for than two loving daughters, and the most wonderful, gentle, loving woman by his side?”

“You’re such a sap, Joel. Who could have been the cause of that?” You teased playfully.

“Dunno. Who could it be? Hmm..let’s see here..perhaps it's the stunning gal laying fireside with my come still drippin’ between her thighs? Ring any bells for ya?” He chuckled, slowly letting his fingertips dip lower between your cheeks, dragging his fingers through the seam of your pussy.

Your thighs instinctively parted open so his fingers would have easier access while your own traced dangerously close to his hardening cock between his thighs. It didn’t take much for either of you to get going again.

“Ooh, look who’s being vulgar right before Santa’s gonna come right down the chimney. That kinda talk is gonna get you on the naughty list, cowboy.”

He chuckled, eyes drifting downwards to where your cheek was still resting against his thigh before they traveled across your bare spine, down to your lower back and between your thighs where his fingers were lightly teasing you. “Mmm..well, sugar, your Texas Tall Glass of water has been on the naughty list for years. Say, you think Santa would mind if I unwrapped my gift early? Think he’ll still bring me coal?”

You fought the warmth rising to your cheeks from the filth dripping so casually between his lips. However, you didn’t fight the crawling desire to feel his touch a bit more as you slowly rolled your ass back into the expanse of his hand. “Baby, didn’t you already unwrap your gift earlier?”

“Sure did. But I think I wanna unwrap it a little more..gotta make it count, y’know? And what better way to ring in Christmas than to pull a couple more orgasms outta my girl. Remember over the summer, when I went down on your sweet cunt for the first time? Do’ya remember what I told ya, sweet girl?” He shifted his weight, easing your cheek off his thigh so he could face you fully. His hand left the spot between your thighs only to then gently coax you on your back. He was attentive to fixing the pillows behind you so that you were nice and comfy.

“Fuck..you naughty, naughty man. I lost track of how many you’ve given to me today, baby. We’ve surpassed the three to four times a day already, Joel.” You giggled, thighs falling open so he could see just for himself how aroused you were just from his teasing alone.

“What can I say, baby. Now that we’re livin’ under the same roof..you can’t expect me to not be touchin’ ya every second that I get. Fuckin’ addictive is what you are. You and that sweet fuckin’ pussy between those thighs.” His voice dropped an octave as he lowered himself onto his elbows, looping his arms around your middle, yanking you down gently so that you were closer to his face. “Christ, all this dirty talk got you this wet?” He peered up at you through thick lashes. “Still sticky with my come..fuck.” He whispered, hot breath fanning your core, “what a sight that is.”

A whine crawled up your throat as the broad expanse of his nose brushed against your inner thighs, dancing across your neglected clit and settling against your pubic bone. “What was it that I called it? Oh, right, the Joel Miller pussy eating special..” he chuckled, sending vibrations racing straight through your core and down to the tips of your toes. You found yourself fisting the blanket in one hand, and the other tangling through his soft head of curls. His hair had grown longer, and now was curling at the nape of his neck. You already threatened him to never cut it because there was nothing you loved more than ripping his baseball cap off at the end of a long work day, and running your fingers through his sweat stained curls while you rode his cock.

“Fuck, yeah, of course I remember that, baby. You literally sent me into a whole new world after that..” you rolled your hips towards his face, desperate to feel his mouth already while your nails lightly scraped at his scalp. “Well, if you’ve been such a naughty boy as you’ve claimed to be, why don’t you unwrap your present a little more, cowboy.”

He had that glint in his eye, one that sent your pussy pulsing desperately around nothing because goddamn Joel Miller and his big brown eyes, and his ridiculously large hands, and his Texas twang, and the way he loved you unconditionally. That goddamn Texas Tall Glass of water that stumbled upon your website all those months ago seeing your pretty face, bright smile and your arm wrapped around your horse's neck in a hug.

“You most certainly don’t have to ask me twice, sugar plum.” Was all he said before you felt his lips press an open mouthed kiss to your clit, dragging downwards as he tasted yours and his come along his tongue. He drove his face forward, one hand splayed across your stomach and the other clasped around your thigh as he devoured his favorite meal. He unwrapped you like the pretty bow you were with his tongue. Jaw going slack as he suckled your clit into his mouth. His eyes were locked on your face, the way your lips parted when he swirled his tongue in a figure eight motion.

He watched the way your chest rose and fell, head tossed back wildly, thighs quivering around his head, clawing at the blanket, tugging on the roots of his dark hair. His hand dropped from your stomach only to find your own. He laced his fingers through yours, squeezing your hand tight before he brought them to rest along your stomach.

He mumbled praising words against your ruined cunt. I love you, I adore you, I cherish you. My girl. My girl. My sweet filthy girl.

The coil was pulled tight inside of you, so tight you were seeing stars as you struggled to keep your moans quiet, but your Texas Tall Glass of water made it increasingly difficult to hold them at bay.

He drank you in, drop by drop, savoring the taste of you along his tongue before he finally let you breathe. And there was your man again, lips, chin, and beard coated in your slick as he nipped playfully at your thigh. His hand that wasn’t wrapped around yours, rubbed soothing circles into your skin as he kissed his way up your body to finally meet your lips once more.

You lazily kissed one another knowing that you had all the time in the world together and that nothing had to be rushed. But especially now, here in one another’s arms while you reached between your bodies, hand wrapping around the base of his cock so you could slip him right back in, guiding him home.

His head came to rest along your chest, eyes closed in a peaceful bliss while you gently pushed back his sweat stained curls that were sticking to his forehead. A tender sweep of your lips across his temple followed.

“I sure hope that Santa comes down that chimney soon just so he can see what a naughty, naughty, boy I’ve been this Christmas.” Your Texas Tall Glass of water murmured against your skin before visions of sugar plums and you would dance in his head.

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[starry-eyes-love]

Chapter 5: Woodland Fun

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader (18+, Minors DNI), Post-outbreak

Summary | Joel Miller thinks you are a complicated, irritating, and frustrating woman. You're the reason he can't sleep, can't work, and can't do anything without thinking about you. So for once, he gives in to his own urges and lets himself have you in his mind. What he didn't expect was for you to come storming into his personal space yet again. This time though he doesn't think he can stop himself from having you, but he's going to try.

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI. Smut (a lot), language, male and female masturbation, mutual masturbation with each other, dry humping, fingering (male & female), edging, daddy kink, fluff (if you squint), major argument with angst, yelling, a lot of dirty talk, pet names (little girl, baby, honey, old man, etc.), kissing, body description without being too specific, referencing past trauma, referencing sex with his ex-wife, referencing pregnancy with ex-wife (if you squint), infidelity reference, fertility issues reference (if you squint). Don't know how this happened but this is mostly smut/porn of one version or another (sorry, not sorry). Just know, you have been warned. Enjoy :)

Word Count: 10.3 K (not sorry)

Joel needed to let off some major steam, he needed to give in to this urge in his mind to have you the way he needed to. Just this once, he thought, just this once I get her the way I want her. Then that's it. As he slowly took himself in his hand he felt himself throb painfully. To try to curb his arousal a bit, he gently squeezed the base

Over the next month life seemed to slowly settle into somewhat of a comfortable domestic routine between the three of you.  Ellie and you continued to go through storage areas; collecting clothes, games, and supplies. You also worked on trying to start growing seeds in the house, which proved to be very difficult in the beginning of winter. Periodically you would collect and chop firewood also.  Joel would set and check traps, scout the area, fix the roof and the siding, help chop firewood, and hunt for food.  At night the three of you would sit around the fireplace and talk, play board games that either you or Ellie found, or read in silence.  Joel and you still maintained separate bedrooms when it came to the sleeping arrangements. He said sleeping together right away would just muddy the waters of a relationship.  Basically, everything continued to be the same with Joel as before. The only difference was that once in a while he’d give you a quick peck on the lips when Ellie wasn’t looking.  Nothing ever transpired besides that, and if you were being honest, it was incredibly frustrating.  You understood why Joel didn’t want to have sex right away, but you wanted and needed something more from him.  A hand hold, the ability to cuddle; heck even for him to check you out, something.  You were beginning to believe that Joel Miller was a man of all talk, and very little do.

“Hey dude, like I think that dish is clean,” Ellie said while you were washing the dishes.

“Oh yeah, sorry" you stated. "I was just lost in thought.”

“You were like lost in thought for 10 minutes cleaning that same dish, what gives?" she teased. "Are there problems in the love department again?"

“Love department? Again? Ellie, I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried to say without giving your voice away.

“Pleeease. I may be younger than you, but I ain’t stupid” she told you.  “I know you have a thing for Joel, and honestly he has a huge thing for you. But ever since the two of you have decided to do this dating shit, which by the way is soooo stupid. You both haven’t been the same, and it’s annoying really.”

“Ellie, I don’t know what you’re…wait. Who said we were dating?” you asked her with a puzzled expression.

“Oh come on, I heard the two of you the night Joel woke up moaning in bed. He woke the whole damn house up with all of that moaning that he was doing. I honestly laid in my bed feeling sorry for him, thinking that he was, you know, thinking about his daughter or somethin’. But then I heard ya and what he told you," Ellie said with a shake to her head.  "Then I finally thought that the two of you were gonna give in to that animal heat phase thing or somethin’, and ya know- maybe fuck it out. But nope, dry as the desert'' Ellie said while laughing out loud shaking her head more.

“Well, it’s not from a lack of trying on my end," you quipped to her in defense.

“Oh I know" she said, tapping your shoulder a few times. "I gave Joel advice about it 2 weeks ago, of how to go about dating cause it’s been awhile for him. Kinda pathetic really, if you ask me.” Ellie said while huffing out a sigh. “Apparently he didn’t listen to a damn thing that I told him,” she states, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“What did you tell him?” you ask nervously.

“That he shouldn’t think about it. That he just needs to talk to you, spend some time with you. Teach you something and then just, I don’t know. Give in to what his body is trying to tell him, and then just ya know, do it” she said.

After a moment of standing there and processing the information you couldn’t help but get frustrated.  You thought that Joel was trying to hide things from Ellie. But in reality he was asking her for advice on how to get to know you, when he could just ask you instead.  Not that a teenager couldn’t give him advice, but goddamnit, you were right here.  You could tell him what you liked, because after all, you knew yourself better than anyone else.

Ellie could sense your frustration and anger rising to the surface. She went to try to defuse the situation fast, because honestly, she didn’t like it when your temper got the better of you.  “Look, y/n. Try doing something that teases him, ya know. Like try coaxing that stubborn man out of his shell by forcing his brain into rut season like a deer or somethin,'” she said softly, trying to encourage you.

“Rut season like a deer? Wow, that’s a new one Ellie, Jesus” you said while shaking your head laughing. 

“Yeah I know, thought of it myself” Ellie commented while giving you her typical big Ellie grin. “But no seriously y/n, do something that turns him on. Or at least gets him to look at you. Go out and chop firewood.  He told me that your ass looks nice doin’ it.”

“He told you my ass looks nice chopping firewood?” you say, somewhat puzzled of why a 50+ year old man would say that to a teenage girl.

“Well no, he didn’t exactly say it directly to me,” Ellie reassured you.  “He was looking at you chopping firewood about 2 weeks ago and said to himself ‘damn it woman, you’re gonna be the death of me with those tight pants on that nice ass of yours,'” Ellie said trying to mimic Joel’s scowl that he does.  

After a moment of silence where you kept fiddling with your hands, Ellie approached you and said, “Y/N, go and chop firewood for Papa Bear. He’s tense and needs something to unwind with. So give that old man a show, just don't give him a heart attack.”  She said laughing while walking away down the hall.

You decided to finish washing the dishes first, while mulling over everything that Ellie had told you.  You knew from previous interactions with Joel that he does love it when you give him a little sass, and when you help him with some of the heavy lifting. Sure, he calls you a smartass while you're doing it, and tells you to stop being so difficult. But nevertheless, you do know that he appreciates your help.  

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go and chop some firewood for awhile" you yell down the hall at Ellie after you finish the dishes. "We’re getting kinda low in here.” As you exit the cabin you grab the axe that was sitting outside and glance over to the area where Joel usually has firewood pieces to chop up.  When you noticed that there weren’t any pieces to chop, you decided to go out into the woods and chop down a tree.  You’ve never chopped down a tree before, and honestly you had no idea what you were doing. But you figured that you’d have to learn sometime.  It can't be that hard, you thought to yourself. 

As you approached the woods you glanced back towards the house to see if you could spot Joel working outside. When you didn’t see him, you figured he must have be checking traps, or hunting for food. After traveling into the woods, you found a tree that you believed you could chop down easily. As you approached the tree you said out loud to yourself, "Ellie, you better be right about him loving my ass as I do this." As you started to pull back the axe you said to yourself "well here goes nothing," and just before you moved to hit the tree you heard a Southern drawl behind you speak up.  

Joel had been out scouting and checking traps all day. He had gotten up early and left the cabin by himself, wanting to have some alone time. This domestic dating life shit was getting on his nerves. Not that he didn't like being with you, that was never the problem. The problem was he desperately wanted to fuck you all the time, and he couldn't do that with Ellie always being around. He also didn't know if you were just looking for a one-time quick lay, or if you truly were serious about a relationship. 

As Joel walked around and checked the traps he kept thinking about you and the interactions the two of you have had. He couldn't stop thinking about how soft you had felt underneath him, or the first time the two of you had sex. He internally hated himself for how desperate he was, and how he didn't give you any proper attention before he fucked you. Joel also knew that you were the reason for his constant worry, his lack of sleep, tense muscles, and a deep ache that he couldn't relieve. He knew he felt something for you, but he didn't know if it was true love, or just infatuation. 

Joel thought that if he was a better man, he would tell you that he was too old for you, that he couldn't be with you, that he'd stop and leave you alone. But Joel wasn't a good man. He pined after you, had a deep urge to be with you, not just physically. He knew he couldn’t stay away from you or stifle his feelings for you much longer. At the end of the day, Joel wanted you. He had a deep urge to have you, to claim you as his, and to ruin you for every goddamn man in the future that thought they could have you. His need to claim you grew stronger with each passing day, and it was getting harder for him to ignore.

Joel noticed that he was almost back to the cabin. He was in a small pine grove near the edge of the woods, close to where the yard would start. Joel knew these woods here like the back of his hand, wanting to know how the land changed just in case trouble came around. He always had a need to keep both you and Ellie safe, so each day he’d hike around and get to know the terrain. Today was quiet and peaceful in the woods, something that was a rarity. Joel, desperately needing to sit down and take a break for himself, wandered over to a pine tree and sat down. As he sat against the pine tree, his thoughts kept drifting to you, and he felt himself slowly harden inside his pants. "I'm old enough to be her damn father, she's too young for me", he said sternly to himself, which did nothing to curb the slow throb that came from his hardening cock. He sat back and closed his eyes as he slowly palmed himself in the front of his jeans. He tried to think of anything else or anyone else besides you. But the truth was, he didn't want anyone else. He only wanted you, laid underneath him and willing for him to do what he wanted. He wondered how you’d taste. Would you be sweet like honey, or a tangy citrus flavor? Would you beg for his cock or beg for him to come inside your tight little pussy, or inside your mouth? 

No. She’s irritating, aggravating, and a pain in my ass, he thought to himself, trying to will away his erection. But even then, when he focused on your sassy attitude and your confidence, it turned him on even more.  He didn't want to admit it, but he loved your demeanor. He loved your challenging behavior, that you weren't afraid to stand up to him. He saw that you had a fire in your soul, and that fire called to him like a siren that had found her next victim. He wasn't stupid, he knew you'd be the death of him. That if he got too close, he'd never be able to escape. 

The more Joel sat there thinking about you: the curve of your ass, the shape of your breasts, and the feel of your mouth against his; the harder he got. All of these thoughts set a fire in his veins and sent a bolt of electricity to his cock. With a sigh he said, "Just this once I’m gonna do this to blow off some steam thinkin’ about her." As Joel took out his aching and throbbing member he saw that he was already leaking precum from his slit. "Fuck" he groaned to himself at how worked up he already was with just thinking about you. He hadn't even touched himself yet. "This ain't gonna last long," he said with a small shake to his head. 

Joel needed to let off some major steam, he needed to give in to this urge in his mind to fuck you the way he needed to. Just this once, he thought, just this once I get her the way I want to fuck her. Then that's it. As he slowly took himself in his hand he felt himself throb painfully. To try to curb his arousal a bit, he gently squeezed the base of his cock. As he did, he heard himself let out a long groan and he felt himself pulse within his hand. After taking another moment to settle himself, he found himself spitting into his hand and slowly sliding it up and down his shaft. He lightly ran his thumb over the swollen tip where he saw precum collecting and as he did he heard himself hiss at the sensation. “Fuck man, you gotta get this under control or you ain't gonna last long,” he said out loud continuing to slowly stroke himself. After a few more pumps he reached down with his other hand and gently cupped and massaged his balls, fantasizing that it was you doing it. 

As he continued to stroke himself, he thought about your mouth and how good it would feel for you to suck him off. Would he be able to deep throat you, and would you love it? He also thought about your hands and how good they would feel stroking his cock. He wondered how many other men you had been with, was he the biggest? Finally, he thought about your tight little hole. God he wanted to lap at it, suck it, and tongue fuck it. He knew from the first time he fucked you how tight you were. But this time he wanted to really take his time to explore you with his tongue, his fingers, and then with his rock hard throbbing cock.

"Fuck", Joel said to himself. "God baby, I need your pussy so badly” he moaned out loud to himself as he stroked himself faster and faster at the thought of you. “Yeah, come on baby girl. Just like that. Come on, baby. Fuck daddy just like that," Joel said while pumping his hand faster and faster. He was imagining fucking up into you the way he needed, with your legs wrapped around him, riding him hard and fast. He was thrusting so hard up into his hand, moaning and grunting to himself at the image of you fucking him that he knew that he was almost there, right on the edge chasing his high, a few more pumps before finally being able to blow his load the way he needed to. “Fuck y/n. Come on, mama. That’s right, fuck me” he said moaning hard as he continued.  “God damn it y/n, I want you so fucking bad right now. Please be a good girl and just fuck my cock, please baby” he panted, wanting you to be in front of him right now so bad, for you to fuck him hard. He wanted to hold on your hips and help you move your hips back and forth as he fucked you deep.  

“Yes, yes, yes” he panted, and just before he finally tipped over the edge he heard a loud “snap” of a tree branch.  Immediately Joel froze, looking through the trees to see who it was as his dick throbbed hard in his hand.  When he didn’t hear it again after a bit, he turned back to slowly give himself a few more pumps, thinking to himself “fuck man, ya gotta make this quick.”  As he started pumping his fist faster, he felt that same heat build up in his spine.  God, he was edging himself too much today, but he didn’t care, he needed release.  He hadn’t touched himself or let himself have an orgasm since the last time he fucked you.  He was desperate for release again. As Joel continued he thought of you again, and he felt himself get right on the edge once again before he heard another “snap” of a branch.  This time when Joel looked through the trees he saw someone walking through the woods, and he instantly froze thinking, who the fuck is that?

He sat there quiet, slowly tucking himself back in his pants and slowly reaching for his rifle as he watched the person walk closer to him. When you came into view and he saw that it was you, he became incredibly frustrated and said "Are ya fucking kidding me? The universe must be run by a goddamn woman, and that bitch must fucking hate me, cause she won't ever let me come." 

Frustrated Joel focused himself on taking a few slow and steady breaths. “Later, I'll finish this later" he told himself under protest. He tried to force himself to calm down the rest of the way before he was going to speak with you, because right now he didn’t think he could stop himself from stripping your clothes off and fucking you the way he was just fantizing about doing moments ago.

As Joel sat there watching you approach, he heard you mumbling to yourself. When you made the comment about Joel liking your ass with chopping firewood, it honestly piqued his interest. You weren't wrong per se, Joel did find your ass very attractive. However, he didn't need an excuse like chopping firewood to admire it. As Joel sat back observing you, he noticed that you were so focused and lost in your own head that you never saw him sitting there on the ground while you walked past. You continued to mumble to yourself about how much of a jackass Joel was, with that comment Joel shook his head thinking smartass. You also complained out loud that you too had needs that he wasn't fulfilling. He heard your comments about how unsatisfied that you were as a woman, and how you wanted him to touch you. You also voiced to yourself how frustrated you were with him that he wasn’t fulfilling all of your needs either. As Joel heard your statements, he quietly whispered to himself, “same thing here darlin', I'm just as fucking frustrated.”

When Joel heard you admit that you had no idea how to chop down a tree, he smiled to himself. He thought it was cute that you admitted out loud to yourself that you didn’t know what the hell you were doing, but you wanted to impress your man, a man named Joel. When Joel heard that, he felt a rush of blood go to his ego, and go someplace else too. So with a smirk on his face, he welcomed the show that he was sure you were about to give him with your ass, especially when they were placed in those tight pants. "Alright, baby. Show daddy what ya got" he whispered.

The longer you mumbled to yourself, the more he saw you move your weight back and forth between your feet. Those tight pants fit you nicely around your ass, and accentuated every curve you had. Joel wasn't a religious man, but today he was thanking God for being able to stay hidden in the shadows to just enjoy the show you were giving him. The longer you bent over and stood up repeatedly, the harder it was for Joel to get control of his ragging hormones and the strong urge to fuck you right here in the woods. He knew he couldn't act on it, but the urge to hold you, bend you over, and claim you as his was strong within him. He quietly adjusted his pants, reminding himself that he didn't have a claim like that over you. He took a few steadying breaths, but when he saw you bring the axe back, he knew you weren't going to hit shit with that stance. So with a smirk on his face he decided to speak and teach you a lesson. If you were going to be the fantasy of his dreams tonight, you might as well do it right, and not hurt yourself.

Right before you swung the axe you heard Joel say, “Darlin', I don’t think that’s the wisest idea there. Ya might wanna rethink what you’re tryin' to do.” You hadn’t known that Joel was sitting in the shadows behind you. You were so stuck in your own head that you never really looked around to view your surroundings to see who or what was present. You didn’t dare admit that to Joel, as you didn't want to start another argument with him. So sarcastically you said out loud, “yeah well, why is that Joel?”

When you didn’t hear him answer you right away, you turned around slowly to see where he was. With your senses heightened, you were trying to determine why he didn’t respond to you right away. All you hoped for was that he hadn't been bitten. When your eyes met his and you saw him sitting relaxed up against a tree, you were deeply surprised. He was looking at you with a shitty smirk on his face, like he was enjoying the show you were about to give him. Truly he looked relaxed and you had no idea why. As you glared at him with frustration at his easy posture, you noticed that he was slowly looking you up and down. When you caught him staring at your ass, you cocked your head and raised one eyebrow saying “I asked you a question Miller, don’t make me ask you again.”

Joel narrowed his eyes at the sass that you just gave him out of your mouth. God that mouth, he thought, what I’d love to do to that filthy mouth.  Joel felt his pants tighten once again at the thought about him fucking your mouth. He hadn’t had a woman’s mouth on him in so long that the mere thought of you doing it made him hard and weeping precum yet again. He knew he had to calm down before he lost all rational thought with you, and force you on your knees to suck him off.

As Joel stood up, he brushed the snow off from his pants, checked his rifle, and then turned away to re-adjust the front of him.  When he turned back around he saw that you were staring at his half hardened bulge still prominent in his jeans. He took in a long inhale, and as he exhaled he said “nothin' good ever comes from that darlin.’”

You were so lost in thought staring at the man in front of you that you never heard what he said. You were too focused on admiring Joel's manly features. Joel Miller was truly an amazing specimen. He had thick biceps that his jacket hugged nicely. He had powerful thighs that you knew could hold a woman up and fuck her properly. His hips and ass were perfect, sculpted by the Gods. He also had beautiful eyes. God you could get lost in those dark chocolate brown eyes. His lips, you already knew, felt amazing against your body. And his tongue, one you hoped would break you into submission again real soon.  

The longer you looked at Joel, the more you felt your body crave the man that was standing here before you. You knew Joel had said something to you, but honestly you were so lost in your own fantasy that you never heard what he said. As you came back down to Earth you shook your head saying “what?” with somewhat of a puzzled expression on your face.

Joel noticed your staring, and he didn’t care because he was doing his own staring too. Your slightly rosey cheeks, mouth slightly parted as you licked your plump soft lips, eyes fixed at the bulge in his pants. If he wanted to he could just walk over there and grab you by the- Fuck man, get it together and stop this shit right now, he thought to himself as he shook his head trying to clear his own mind.  After closing his eyes and taking a few breaths to steady himself he said while clearing his throat, “you’re gonna hurt yourself if ya continue." When you furrowed your brows further Joel added, “your form darlin’, your form is off. If ya hit that tree with that axe the way you’re holding it, you’re gonna hurt your shoulder and your back.”

You looked down at the axe that you were holding somewhat puzzled, and you realized that you were in way over your head. You felt embarrassed that you weren’t holding it right.  Here you were trying to impress the man in front of you, and you didn’t even think to ask Ellie if there was a technique required to do any of this.  You thought you could just grab the axe, swing it, and it’d work. While looking at the axe you felt stupid, and you felt that Ellie had set you up for where you were the butt of a funny joke yet again. Ellie knew how to chop down a tree because Joel showed her.  She also knew that it was a skill you had never learned before. So here you were, trying to make Joel think of you as a sexy, strong, and capable woman who could pull her own weight, when all you were doing was making a fool out of yourself.

You began to shuffle nervously on your feet, looking down and away from Joel when you said “I-I didn’t know. Um- I just thought-”

Joel could tell that you were upset, and turning slightly inward at the realization that you didn’t know what you were doing.  He hated when you turned inward like this because you weren’t completely wrong in what you were doing, just your form was a little messy.  As Joel approached you, he watched you back up slowly looking down. He felt anger rise into the pit of his stomach at your reaction.  He has never hurt you, nor treated you like shit in moments of teaching. He hated the fact that David did this to you. David was a piece of shit who had ruined what could have been an amazing moment with you. If that asshole was still alive today, Joel thought, I’d kill him again.   

Joel had realized that his anger was starting to boil to the surface, and that was something that he didn’t want.  He knew you'd take it that he was mad at you, but that wasn't the case.  He hated the circumstances of people hurting you. So he took a deep breath to calm himself while stepping forward to gently grab the axe from you while saying “Here honey, let me show you.” After he took the axe he showed you how to choke up on it before swinging it. He also showed you how to move your hand as you swung it to chop. When he was finished he gave it back to you and told you to try those hand movements. 

With a nod you grabbed the axe back from him. And as soon as you started to go to swing the axe to chop down the tree again you heard Joel say, “darlin’ are you trying to hurt yourself?”

“What Joel, what?” you bit back frustrated at him as you turned to face him. “I’m doing it just like you showed me, so what the hell is wrong now?”

Joel shook his head at your sass.  He was both turned on by it and completely annoyed and irritated by it. “Listen here little girl” he said with a little bite to his voice. “Don’t bite my goddamn head off when I’m tryin’ to help ya. You wanna know what’s wrong, it’s your stance. Your stance is wrong and I’m tryin’ to show ya how to do it right so you don’t go and hurt yourself.”  He stepped towards you and said “ now turn around and position yourself like you are going to swing the axe.”  When you didn’t move right away, he whispered in your ear, “come on darlin’, what are you afraid of?”

“You,” you answered without even thinking. “I’m afraid you’re going to-”

“Hurt ya? No darlin’ I ain’t gonna hurt ya” he said feeling the anger slowly boil underneath the surface yet again.  “I’m not like that piece of shit David. I’m. I’m just trying to help you, ok?” he said with a sigh. “Honey, I may not always be around and I want you to be able to do this right on your own. Ok? Now come on honey, show me”  he said while tucking a piece of hair behind your ear and nudging you forward.

When you didn’t move he said “Baby, come on. Please show me,” while coaxing you to continue.  You felt your heart race with how close this man was to you. It didn’t help that your head was swimming with what Ellie had said to you earlier.  You were flustered and Joel could sense it as you heard him laugh while saying “come on darlin’, show me.”

After a moment you finally found the courage to begin again.  You started to pull back on the axe once again like he showed you, but this time you felt him grab the axe to stop you from swinging it. Joel softly spoke in your ear saying “your legs are wrong baby, spread ‘em for me.”

You felt heat rise up from your spine and spread across your back and neck. Your also felt your face heat up where you could feel sweat starting to form on your brow. You also started breathing harder, almost panting for him.  You felt your underwear become slick, especially when he got closer and you could feel his chest touching your back softly.  He leaned into you closer, and you felt something hard brush up against your backside as he whispered softly into your ear asking you to spread ‘em. He was so soft and yet so commanding with you, and you loved it. You loved his roughness that he could show. God, you were so turned on by him right now but you didn’t think he meant what you thought he meant, so with a shaky breath you said “Wh-what?” 

Joel could tell how turned on you were by him and it gave him a little bit of an ego boost.  He wasn’t intending on playing this type of game with you, but he realized how his words and actions could have been misinterpreted to mean something more. But the fact that you were so flustered for him he wondered how long it had been since you gave yourself any proper attention. By the way your body responded with a simple phrase, he figured it must have been a long time.  And that was something that he needed to rectify with you soon, but not right now.  

But the longer the moment stretched on, and the more he saw your body respond to him, the more turned on Joel was even getting. God he was still so horny, not able to relieve himself fully so the thought of you getting flustered for him sent him into an animalistic nature. He wasn’t thinking clearly when he leaned in and said with a low growl, “You heard me darlin’. I said spread those fucking legs” And with that Joel put his foot in between your legs and forcibly spread your legs further apart, which caused you to almost lose balance. In an attempt to steady yourself you adjusted your hips and happened to press them hard against the front of Joel and that’s when you felt it, the full outline of his cock in his pants. At that moment instinct took ahold of you and you lightly rolled your hips against his hard bulge. 

You heard him give out a low feral growl again as he grabbed your hips while mimicking the same hip roll back into you. Pretty soon you both were panting as Joel started to dry hump you.  You knew he was turned on, begging for relief. God, he’s so fucking hard, what was he doing out here? You thought to yourself.  You started rubbing your ass harder up and down hard into his crotch, trying to give him some relief while working yourself up too.

“Yeah baby, just like that” you heard Joel say behind you.  He grabbed the axe and threw it to the ground.  He then reached around the front of you and pulled you further back into him. He immediately went to the front of your jeans and opened them up and then plunged his fingers, as soon as he felt how wet you were for him you heard him tsk behind you saying “fuck mama, this all for me?”

When you nodded your head frantically he whispered into your ear in a low growl, “good girl, now show me how you can fuck” as he slammed 2 thick fingers into your hot, wet, and throbbing pussy.  As soon as he did that you let out a low moan and frantically started humping his fingers. You felt Joel bite your neck while saying “come on baby, don’t forget to give daddy some attention.”  He angled your hips back again against his hard bulge and helped you get into a rhythm. You continued to hump his fingers while still giving him some much needed friction. “Come on princess, that’s it. Yeah, fuck me” he said while moaning against you as you both where humping each other.  

When your knees started to give out, he lowered you to the ground on all fours as he yanked down your pants further.  The next thing you knew Joel was humping you hard from behind saying “ya know, I saw two wolves the other day fuck like this and I couldn’t stop thinking about doing this to you” he said humping you hard like you both were animal’s in heat. 

“God, put your cock in Joel, fuck” you said rubbing harder against his ass.

“No, only good girls get daddy’s cock, you robbed me of another orgasm sweetheart.  I was a few more pumps from blowing my sweet fucking load before you interrupted me yet again” he said biting hard on the back of your neck. “I haven’t been able to fucking come since I fucked you in that sleeping bag” he admitted finding that the angle wasn’t giving him enough friction that he wanted.  So he quickly grabbed you and yanked your pants the rest of the way off while sitting back down against the tree.  “Well go on, if you wanna fuck so bad, go ahead. Fuck me” he said with blown out pupils.

You stilled and looked at him and said, “huh Joel, baby you need to-”

“Shut up and just do it,” he growled moving your hips back and forth over his hard bulge that was still prominent and fully clothed in his pants.  After the two of you were grinding hard back and forth, you both needed more friction. Joel quickly unbuckled his belt and freed his cock. You watched him slowly start to stroke himself while looking at you in your eyes saying, “fuck baby, what the hell are ya doing t’me? I’m so fucking horny for you that I ain’t thinkin’ clearly anymore baby.”

You watched as Joel slowly stroked his throbbing cock. You knew Joel was trying to figure out how he could stop what was happening, but knowing that he was too worked up to put an end to this.  It looked like it hurt him bad at how much he throbbed and how much precum was leaking from him. You didn’t want an argument so you scooted down his legs and then leaned back and spread your legs to him while slowly running a finger through your wet slick folds says “Joel, I’m just as fucking worked up. And I know you ain’t wanting to fuck, I’d gladly do it though if you wanted.”

When you saw Joel slowly shake his head no while still continuing to slowly stroke himself you said “yeah I didn’t think so.”

You found yourself slowly sticking a finger in your dripping pussy and moaning at the sensation as your eyes rolled back in your head. God, it had been so long since you had a proper orgasm.  When you opened your eyes again you saw Joel looking at you like he was a wolf wanting to devour his meal that was in front of him.  This gave you a boost of self esteem so you said “Joel, I’m so fucking horny, so how about we both do this a bit.  You touch yourself, and I touch myself, and we both give in to the orgasm that we both know we need.”

“I can’t darlin’, you ain’t gonna play fair if we do any more” he said while stilling his hand and closing his eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” you said gently while touching his cheek.  When he opened his eyes you continued saying “I promise we’ll just do this. No touching for either of us to the other person or we both know how it ends. I know you’re not ready for that yet. But Joel, baby, I fucking need to cum so bad right now that it hurts, so please touch yourself.”  After a few more strokes of yourself you slip your slick coated finger into his mouth so he can taste how worked up you were. 

Joel moaned when he tasted how good you were. He wanted to lap at you right now but if he did, he knew he’d forget all self restraint and fuck you hard. “Your shit to my self control love, ya know that? And ya don’t fucking play fair” Joel said after he pulled your finger out of his mouth with a pop. 

“Who said about playing fair Joel? Here I have my boyfriend, supposedly, who doesn’t want to ever do anything sexually.  First relationship I’ve ever had where he’s someone who’s all talk and no do” you say slowly teasing your clit at your words.

“Watch your mouth there smartass, or you may not like what you’ll get baby” Joel says as a warning.

“Fuck your self control Joel, and your good fucking attitude” you say while sinking 2 fingers knuckle deep within you. “I just want to fuck my boyfriend’s cock, is that so bad?” you say while moaning and pumping your fingers in and out of your tight dripping hole.

Joel watched you give yourself over to pleasure and he couldn’t help himself, he had to indulge in his own pleasure.  So he spit in his hand and then slowly started stroking himself in time with your fingers. God this is fucking hot, he thought to himself.  “Fuck baby, take my cock good like that. And for the record, your boyfriend does wanna fuck you bad” he said as he continued to stroke himself at the speed of your fingers.

When you opened your eyes you noticed Joel was matching you thrust for thrust.  To tease him a little bit you decided to slow down the strokes of your fingers while saying, “come on daddy, you know you can do better than that.”

“Fuck woman, don’t tease,” he growled at you while slowing his strokes down to match you.

“Why Joel, doesn’t it feel good?” you say, dragging out your pleasure just a little longer.

“Fuuuck” he groaned while slamming his head back against the tree, watching you slowly fuck yourself with your fingers as Joel kept edging himself in time with you.  

After a few more slow pumps of your fingers, you felt that familiar feeling of your walls fluttering around yourself.  You knew you were not going to last for very much longer. So you sped up your fingers to start to fuck yourself fast, panting and moaning for Joel.  You looked over and saw Joel panting just as hard, cursing under his breath, fucking himself hard and fast up into his hand.

“Joel baby, I want you” you say panting.

“I know baby, I know. Don’t stop Angel, fuck, don’t stop.” he said in a strained voice.

“Pleeease Joel, I need more” you say begging him, for what you didn’t know.

“I know Angel, I know. But we can’t, we can’t, fuuck” he says watching you desperately chase your high, not quite getting deep enough with your fingers that he knows that you need.  He watched you get frustrated, begging for him to help you, and him telling you no.  Finally after a bit Joel saw you slow down your fingers, pulling them out, knowing that you never came. It’s in that moment he sees your true frustration, you haven’t been able to come since he had sex with you last, not that you hadn’t wanted to, but you couldn’t.  God Joel felt like a complete asshole at this moment.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” he said as he watched you get up and put your pants back on. “Come on honey, don’t do this” he said pleading with you to not shut down.

As soon as you opened your mouth you pulled away saying “I can’t. We-we need to focus.” 

“Why? Why did you stop” he asked you as he also quickly stood up putting himself back together and zipping himself up. 

As you turned around to face him you said, “Joel, I just- I don’t know- tell me what I have to do to-”

It was then that he realized where you were going and all Joel could say shaking his head was “Don’t, don’t go there.”

“Don’t go there, seriously Joel?” you said with a bite to your voice. “No. No Joel, I want to go there. I want to know why. Why is it everytime we get alone and stuff like this happens you say no? Fuck Joel, I can feel you’re turned on, damnit I can see it still right now. We were- we-” you say while trying to put to words what the two of you were doing, because it felt like it was more than just mutual masterbation. Frustrated you said, “fuck Joel, I’m turned on. So why do you resist it, why can’t you just give in and-”

“And fuck you?” he said sarcastically. 

“Yes Joel, why? Why can’t you fuck me?” you snapped.

“You don’t know what you’re askin’ for darlin,’” he said while shaking his head and looking off into the distance.

You were so frustrated with this man. For the lack of any intimacy, for the lack of communication with you, and for the lack of honesty.  You knew he side-stepped conversations that meant something to him, or brought up strong emotions to the surface. He was a big old broody man, a man that you truly loved, but damnit, you didn’t care in this moment if he was comfortable or not. Everytime you have listened and dropped the topic of discussion, no resolution ever came later on. He’d forget it and move on, treating you as if the topic never got brought up. But not today, today you weren’t going to let him get off so easily. This man in front of you made you question why the hell you were even here in the first place.  For your own sanity, you needed to know. You had enough of the games the two of you played, this time you were going to get to the heart of this and find a solution no matter what the solution was. If not, then you were going to leave permanently.  

So with a deep breath, and nerves shaking you all over, you said “You know, for someone who says he cares and wants me as his girlfriend, you do have a funny way of showing affection. No wonder why Sarah’s mom and Tess-”

“Don’t. Don’t you fucking finish that goddamn sentence little girl, I’m warning you. Don’t.” Joel sneered at you, anger boiling fast to the surface. Who the hell gave you the right to even speak about his past relationships, something you knew nothing about, he thought to himself. 

“Why Joel, cause it’s the truth?” you say getting more and more angry.  “Why could you fuck them and not me?” you snap feeling the tightening in your throat coming on. You knew you were hitting his emotional button with anger, but he was hitting yours where you didn’t feel worthy of love.  Something you didn’t want to admit to him or even to yourself.

“If ya recall darlin,’” he said with a bite to his voice, “I did fuck you.” 

“Yeah one time Joel, one time. And I get it why you didn’t want to after that, that you wanted to date me or whatever. But shit Joel, we don’t kiss, we don’t hug, we don’t-”

“What the fuck were we just doing then y/n, huh? Cause it looked to me that we were definitely doing something” Joel snapped back.

“Yeah, until you would have came and then it would have been done, nevermind that I needed more” you say throwing your arms up in the air. “Jesus Christ Joel, what the fuck do I gotta do to get you to give a shit about me?” you snap back feeling the sting starting to burn hot in the back of your throat.

“I do care. I do give a shit y/n. Fuck, why do you think I’m even out here with you?” he snapped. He didn’t want to have this conversation, the one where he knew you backed him into the corner on having. The one where he had to admit his fault to you, the reason why he has held back for all of these years, even before the outbreak with other women. He knew he needed to turn and walk away before it went any further, but he couldn’t. He wanted to, but he could see you were breaking in front of him. You had an idea that he didn’t care and that was not the reason for this problem.  So he stayed and gave into your and his frustration, and stood there having the one argument with you that he never wanted to have. 

You were so lost in your own anger and frustration that you never saw Joel wince at your outburst, or look at you pleading with his eyes to stop, asking you not to push him any further.  You were so lost in your own emotions that nothing registered in your brain at what you were seeing before you.  You shouted at him saying, “I don’t know Joel, why are you out here? You haven’t hardly been alone with me for 5 seconds for the past month and-”

“For good fucking reason, y/n. I haven’t been alone with you for a good fucking reason. Jesus” he said throwing his hands up in the air out of frustration.

“Then tell me,” you yelled back with tears stinging your eyes and starting to slide down your cheeks. “Tell me why I’m not good enough, Joel. Why did you fucking save my life when you clearly didn’t want to. Why didn’t you just let Dave kill me, when you clearly don’t care. Tell me Joel, why? Why am I in love with a man that doesn’t fucking love me back? What do I have to do to get you to fucking se-see me?” you say as the sob escapes your lips at the admittance of your feelings for the one man standing before you.

It was in that moment that Joel hated himself. He knew you were struggling with those emotions, he knew you loved him but fuck, this was not how he wanted you to say it to him. He knew he wasn’t the guy that liked to communicate his feelings.  Tommy always said while growing up that Joel’s biggest fault was his lack of communicating how he felt. He knew that was the reason why Sarah’s mom did what she did and left, and of why Tess never fully gave herself to him. He hated talking about his emotions and feelings, but he knew that you needed to hear the reason why, because he didn’t want to lose the one person he fucking loved more than anything in this world right now, and that person was you.  Ellie was the other person he loved so much, but he loved her like his own daughter. Where he loved you like his wife, his soulmate. 

When he didn’t respond right away you shook your head and said “maybe I should just-”

“No,” Joel said interrupting you. “Please baby, don’t leave” he said looking up at you with bloodshot eyes. You saw how tears were forming in his eyes and you didn’t understand why. Why would a man who was so closed off with you, who always hated things you did really care if you stuck around. 

“Why Joel, why?” you asked feeling broken. “Please.”  

When he didn’t respond again and looked away, you decided to go pack up a few things to leave. Ellie was wrong, you thought to yourself, I was wrong, he never wanted me. You didn't want to chop down a tree anymore. You just wanted to leave, to stop this pain and to just, I don't know, figure your own life out alone. You turned and had only taken about 4 steps away when you heard Joel speak. 

“I used to do contracting work before the outbreak, I owned a business called Miller Contracting” he said.  You paused and looked over at him and waited. Honestly, you were a little baffled as to why he’d bring that up now. “That sounds pretty cool Joel, you must have done a good job” is all that you could say. 

Joel just shook his head and snorted at your comment.  After a moment he continued saying “Sarah was about 2 years old at the time. Teesh, my wife, short for Theresa, was a stay-at-home mom at the time. We had only known each other, dated for about 5 months before she got pregnant with Sarah. She was young, barely 19 when she got pregnant with Sarah and I, being in my early 20s fucking knew better. One night after a date she was so hot, wanting me so bad. It was raining outside and we were on our way back from the movies.  We had gotten into a horrible fight on our way back and she started to cry. She said that I didn’t love her. But fuck, if that woman really knew how I felt about her we wouldn’t have gotten into that argument.”

“Anyways,” Joel said while switching sides with his rifle and slowly walking up to you. “She said I didn’t care and the next thing I knew we were parked on the side of the road and she was on my lap and- well, let’s just say that Sarah was created in my truck that night. I didn’t have anything for protection and she pleaded with me to not pull out. I was so swept up in the moment that I didn’t think that she may have been ovulating” he said with a smirk.

After a moment of silence you said “Joel, I’m sorry that happened, but what does that have to do with-”

“Just give me a minute here baby, please” Joel said while wiping a tear off his face. Finally after a few moments of Joel lost in thought you heard him continue.  “Sarah was born 9 months later and Teesh and I were married when she was 5 months pregnant. Teesh and I didn’t get along much, but we put a great effort in. Well when Sarah was about a year old I started my own business, Miller Contracting, and Teesh was my biggest supporter at the time, or so I thought. I busted my ass for my family. We moved out of this shitty 1 bedroom apartment into a house that I had built for her and Sarah. Sarah was about 2 years old and Teesh said she wanted another baby. After a few discussions I had agreed and we tried, fuck baby we tried so goddamn hard to do it. But when you’re working 60 hours a week, hardly home in the summer, it makes baby making a little harder.”

“Well, one day I got done with work a little early, about 2 pm, and wanted to go home to surprise Teesh. Sarah was over at the babysitters house cause Teesh needed a break that day. I went and bought her some flowers, stopped and got her favorite cheesecake from the best bakery, and was gonna go home and show my wife that her man needed her.  I bought a card and wrote in the card ‘baby, I love you and need you, J’. And for me, that was a lot for sharing my emotions.”

“When I walked into the house I heard some moaning coming from the bedroom. I thought my wife was giving herself some much needed attention. God, I was so turned on by it, wanted to watch her touch herself and then help her finish. So I walked up the stairs to our bedroom and then froze with what I saw.”

You felt your heart race fast in your chest when you looked at Joel in the face. You saw a man that looked broken in this second, shattered. You watched him taking a few shaky breaths to calm himself. Finally after a moment you said softly “Joel, what did you see?”

With a shake of his head, Joel looked you straight in the eyes and said, “I saw my wife fucking my best friend. The man who was like a brother to me. He was balls deep in my wife, fucking her with no protection and she was begging him to come inside her. And she was fucking ovulating.”

“Oh my God Joel, I’m so-”

“Don’t. Let me finish” he said clearing his throat and swiping another tear away from his cheek. Finally after a few moments he said while looking off in the distance, “She said the reason why she did it was because I didn’t care about her, that she felt that I never loved her, yet I did.” Joel looked back at you and said “darlin’ I struggle communicating my feelings, as you can tell. But don’t ever think for a second baby that I don’t care about you, cause I do. I’m just scared. I’m scared of losing the people that matter the most to me. I’ve lost everyone so far that I’ve cared about deeply, and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t make love to you baby, not cause I don’t want to. Fuck woman, I want you more than you god damn know. I just. I can’t risk sentencing you to death or our baby to death, because I fucking knocked ya up out here.”

Joel gently grabbed your face with both hands, and with looking into your beautiful eyes he said “I see you mama. I see you so god damn much in front of me and I- I, fuck.”  You watch a tear slip down his cheek, while shaking his head he continues saying, “I see you honey, ok. And I care about you, so damn much,” and with that he leans in and puts the softest kiss to your lips.

You allow yourself to melt into the kiss, and into him.  You don’t ask for more than what he is giving you, because this was Joel showing you that he cared. After a moment he deepens that kiss and brings you closer to him.  He skims your lips with his tongue, asking gently for access to your mouth, and you grant it to him with no resistance.  He doesn’t wrestle you with his tongue, but slowly moves it in your mouth, where both of your tongues are doing a slow dance exploring each other.  This isn’t a kiss that says ‘I want to fuck you.’  This is a kiss that says ‘I love you.’  Even though he hasn’t said it to you, you can feel it in this moment with how he is kissing you, as it is so intimate.  And you communicate the same thing to him with your slow tender kiss back.

When Joel had finished exploring your mouth, he gently pulled back and nipped your chin and jaw.  He then pulls you close into his arms and wraps his arms tenderly around you saying, “I care about you kiddo, don’t ever think differently, ok? And I promise baby, I’ll work on the affection part. But know that I care about ya, alright. I fucking care and want you more than you’ll ever know.” He gently starts swaying you side to side in his arms, caressing the back of your head and kissing you periodically on the top of your head.

“Ok, old man,” you say, and you hear him chuckle above you. “But ya gotta give me more than just the cold shoulder Joel. If you want me to believe you, and that you do care, you gotta give me more than just telling me these things baby. You gotta show me, and don’t worry, we’ll go at a pace that is comfortable for both of us, ok?” 

“Ok mama, ok.” he says and gives you the softest kiss on your lips again.  After pulling all the way back he picks up the axe that had dropped and hands it to you while saying, “ok smartass now swing that fucking axe and let me see that nice ass of yours." As you turn around he playfully slaps your ass.

You burst out laughing and say “ok Papa Bear, you better go sit down or you’re gonna have a heart attack if ya don’t watch it.”  And with that you glance back over your shoulder at him before you swing the axe towards the tree.  As you line up, you glance back to see if your form is ok. He nods once at you in a silent encouragement to keep going and you hit the tree.  As soon as the axe hit the tree you heard him say “good job baby, now do it again.” And so you follow his instructions.  Pretty soon the tree was chopped all the way down by you.  He had given you instructions and feedback along the way, encouraging you to keep going.  He had offered you to let him finish chopping the tree down for you when you got tired, which you promptly told him if he moved one muscle to grab that axe you were going to swing it at his head.  He laughed at you holding his arms up in surrender, and told you to continue then.  

Once the tree was chopped down he grabbed the axe from you and told you to go sit down to rest. He showed you how to check the tree for closer damage and how to chop some of the unhealthy branches off first. When you offered to drag the tree back to the cabin he said to you “nah baby, I got it” and then you followed him back watching him flex his muscles for you. Once you were back you immediately started sectioning off the tree into easier sections for firewood. Joel helped you chop wood, quietly glancing over at you as you both worked.  Once you saw him glance at your ass and stare at the curve of it.  You smiled and said “eyes up here cowboy” and pointed to your face.  He quickly cleared his throat and said “was looking behind you, not at ya,” as he adjusted his jacket with a red face from embarrassment that you caught him looking.  

You thought Joel being embarrassed looked cute, so you walked up to him and said with a smile “ya I know, my behind is sexy isn’t it?” Joel never answered you, but looked at you with intense eyes as he tightened his jaw.  When you walked away you heard him say under his breath “yeah baby it fucking is” and then you watched him re-adjust the front of his pants yet again.  Ellie was right, you thought to yourself, points go to the cocky teenager for being right.  You make a mental note that next time you talk with Ellie about something like this, you tell her that she was in fact right.  Papa Bear does love it when you go out to chop firewood.  You also make a mental note that you will definitely be making a trip out to the pine trees with Joel yet again. 

-End of Chapter 5-

A/N: Wow, this is the filthiest thing I have written so far. Once again there will be other chapters with these two. I already have a few written, had to split up what I originally wrote for this chapter into 3 separate chapters. Things eventually will heat up with these two and they eventually will fully give in. If you want to be added to the taglist let me know in the comments (tags only added to completed chapters or upcoming one-shots, not teasers).

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow

[pinknipszz]

rainbow fish | (previous)

“there comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.”

there are many things ao’nung takes for granted, but you certainly aren’t one of them. the hunter is absolutely smitten– praising and cherishing you everyday, thanking ewya for the woman he mated with.

he also spoils you rotten. if you ask him to run a simple errand, he’ll do it in a heartbeat. if you’re a little hungrier than usual, he’ll catch the biggest fish with his bare hands. if something, or ewya forbid someone, is bothering you, he’ll take care of it before you know it.

you’re his light and day, his happiness embodied, and he would choose you over anything else in the world. that’s why, for your sake, ao’nung decided to take a day off to play the “good guy” around the village. to his surprise, his father didn’t need much convincing. when he asked, the olo’eyktan agreed without giving so much as a second thought. it was odd, but his approval was all that mattered.

to start, ao’nung woke up bright and early to prepare a small meal for you before heading out. it was a simple bowl of chopped fruits you liked, but he wanted to go the extra mile and make it look appealing. he rearranged the fruits this way and that, pushing some to the side to let others shine, before starting all over again. he grew frustrated. 

ao’nung didn’t have the most delicate fingers either. by the time he settled on an arrangement, a few pieces were ugly and deformed. it was too late to fix it though. “what's that?” you laughed, pointing at the mound of fruit in one of your carefully-crafted bowls. it wasn’t exactly what you were expecting when ao’nung told you to wait before attending to your tsakarem duties. “is that fruit?”

“what do you think it is?” he deadpanned.

you grabbed the bowl from his hands and inspected it closely, struggling to find the right words. “they look so… worn out.” nonetheless, you popped one in your mouth. there wasn’t much to say about the taste since it was chopped fruit, but you wanted to humor him. you chewed as slowly as possible as he watched in anticipation, awaiting your verdict. “it tastes…”

“delicious!” you finished, smiling sweetly at how the tension dissipated from his shoulders. 

ao’nung cleaned up the mess before giving you a kiss on the cheek and saying goodbye. he proudly walked down the webbed path, knowing your reaction was first of many victories today. it was time for the next item on his to-do list: apologize to the members of his hunting party.

much of his party consisted of young hunters who recently finished their iknimaya. they were arrogant in everything they did, even out hunting in the treacherous waters. it may not have been his place to berate them in front of a crowd, but if you ask him, it was a long overdue and well-deserved punishment.

na’pey was the unfortunate na’vi who bore the weight of his scolding. since he sported a hideous hairstyle and often chortled like a baby ilu, he wasn’t very difficult to find, but he set those judgments aside for the sake of keeping face. once ao’nung reached the edge of the shore, he found him sitting on some nearby rocks, sharpening his spear. 

“na’pey!” he called out as he approached. na’pey jumped up and whipped his head around at the sharp sound of his name being called. when his eyes landed on ao’nung’s approaching figure, the color slowly drained from his face. na’pey moved his fingers in greeting. “ao’nung.” he acknowledged with his head bowed slightly.

ao’nung nodded. “did i catch you at a bad time?”

“not at all. i’m just sharpening my spear.” the spear in question laid pathetically on the ground, discarded by its owner. at the screwed up expression on ao’nung’s face, most likely judging how the quality weapon was treated, na’pey did some damage control. “w-well, i was.”

“right.” ao’nung said pointedly, turning away to look out at the gentle waves. na’pey looked at the ocean and back at his mentor, confused. “um, is something wrong?” he questioned. when ao’nung didn’t respond, an awkward silence washed over them. na’pey constantly shifted his weight between his feet, whistling a random tune and fiddling with the ornaments on his belt to distract himself.

“are you always this noisy?” he snapped. na’pey froze.

for a moment, ao’nung’s glare relented. “look.” he sighed. “i came to apologize.”

“w-what?” he gaped, perplexed.

“i shouldn’t have been so harsh the other day. i was letting my anger get the best of me, and instead of handling it maturely,” ao’nung eyed him knowingly, “i lashed out like a child. it wasn’t my place to embarrass you in front of your family and friends, and i’m sorry for the trouble i caused you.”

“n-no way!” na’pey stammered quickly. “you don’t have to apologize. i mean, you were just doing your job, and my friends and i were acting out of line. you were just worried about our safety. i really appreciate it.” he flashed a genuine smile, to which ao’nung gladly returned.

it went on like this with the other hunters, apologizing and making amends. many were speechless at how the future olo’eyktan set aside his pride to admit fault, while others rejoiced at his change in attitude. ao’nung didn’t know whether to feel insulted or not, but he simply huffed and moved on. the last item on his agenda was spending quality time with his people.

admittedly, it’s been a while since he’s done so. a normal day for ao’nung consisted of endless training with his father, and he’d spend most, if not all, of his leisure time with you. until today, it never really occurred to him how much the village changed over the years. in a blink of an eye, he could hardly recognize the na’vi from his youth, who now had children he didn’t know the names of.

ao’nung shook off the guilt creeping in his chest.

he started with the elders. to make up for lost time, he rebraided their jewelry while sharing stories of his life, whether it be about the clan, his parents, or you. surprisingly, you were a popular topic among them. everytime he spoke of you, they leaned in eagerly with a mischievous glint in their eyes. really, he’ll never know what goes on in their old minds.

after that, he decided to play a game with the children, namely his little brother’s friends. kalun strongly opposed to the idea until one of his friends convinced him otherwise.

“what do you mean you don’t know how this game works?” ao’nung scoffed and crossed his arms. a few children giggled and followed suit, imitating his “silly” posture. “what are your parents even teaching you guys?” he spent the rest of his afternoon like this, teaching his favorite childhood games. it was a little irritating at first, but eventually, ao’nung found himself having more fun than he ever expected.

once the sun began to dip into the horizon, splashing hues of gold across the expanse of the sky, ao’nung bid each one farewell and moved on to the final destination: his family’s marui. he doubted his parents would be home since they usually handled a plethora of nightly duties, but he knew at least one person would there.

“alright, what are you up to?” tsireya finally broke the silence, scrutinizing her brother. prior to his arrival, she was peacefully weaving a new bassinet for an expecting mother who lived across the village. she was perfectly capable of finishing it on her own until ao’nung abruptly stormed into the marui, stealing her work to finish himself. “lo’ak told me you spoke with na’pey earlier. what’s gotten into you?”

“can’t i do something nice once in a while?” he groaned exasperatedly, struggling to tie two ends together. “why does everyone have to make a big deal out of it?”

tsireya shook her head and playfully rolled her eyes. “because it’s unnatural.”

the two siblings continued like this as time went on. in between their bickering, ao’nung would ask about her well-being, her relationship with lo’ak, and her plans to move out soon. in turn, tsireya would ask about his training, his recent hunt, and you. ao’nung was startled at how nostalgic it felt. as he replayed the day’s events in his head, his mind slowly drifted away from the conversation.

tsireya quickly caught on. “it’s getting late, ao’nung. you should go before our parents return home. if they catch you here, they’ll force you to eat dinner with us.” she laughed, giving him a dismissive wave. ao’nung gave her one last hug before starting the long walk back to his marui. 

along the way, he bumped into the children from earlier and noticed his brother wasn’t with them, most likely running off on his own. he knelt down to greet them kindly. to show their gratitude for the time he spent, each of them gave a shell they had picked from the sand. ao’nung gladly took the shells and promised to play again soon. 

something similar occurred when he walked by the elders, who pulled him away from the path. again, he exchanged pleasantries, gratefully accepted their gift, which was a thin armband made out of dried seaweed, and continued on his way. then, he passed by his hunting party. they smiled and waved widely at him, to which ao’nung smiled back in acknowledgement.

finally, after countless minutes, he saw his home in the distance.

upon reaching the entrance, he found you prepping dinner. ao’nung walked over to sit with you and press a kiss to your temple. “where’d you get the fish?” he noticed, basking in the sense of familiarity of the situation. you smiled knowingly. “it was a gift from your friends.”

(masterlist)

[messedupfan]

Chapter 11

Summary: Reader finally feels comfortable enough to introduce their girlfriend to their faimly.

A/n: There's a LOT going on right now so it might not be my best work but I hope y'all enjoy!

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When October came around you surprised yourself by maintaining a healthy and stable relationship with Daisy. There weren’t many arguments and you were able to focus your romantic energy solely on her and you found yourself happy with the decision to be with her. So, you figured that it was finally time to introduce her to Rachel. In order to do that, of course, you had to start by bringing her to Jean and Anna. 

Arranging a dinner wasn’t easy with the busy work schedules and inability to find Rachel a sitter. With school being in session, Kate isn’t available the way she is during the summer since she has a lot to focus on when it comes to her college classes. Leaving it up to you and Jean to scramble to find someone to be with Rachel long enough for the dinner. Until one day when you’re discussing the dilemma with Wanda, she offers to have your daughter over for the night. She made it easy by offering to pick up Rachel from the school when she was picking up the twins. She happened to be getting them on Friday that week because Vision was spending a weekend in New York with one of his classes to observe the architecture in person. After a quick phone call with the school to inform them of this and writing Rachel a note to give to her teacher, it was settled. 

Daisy is taking her classes online and caught up on all of her coursework, and Jean and Anna are both able to be home from work at an appropriate dinner time. As soon as you get home from work that day, you shower and get dressed before picking Daisy up. On the way to Jean’s house, you stop at the liquor store to bring a gift and say that it came from Daisy. As you walk the aisles hand in hand with her, you think about when you first met Wanda. And how even through her disheveled appearance, you were struck by her beauty. 

Your mind is brought back to reality when Daisy sneaks a kiss on your cheek. You smile and your eyes land on the beverage that you came here for. When the familiar cashier is checking you out, he asks if you want the usual pack of cigarettes. You look at Daisy and then look at the cashier and shake your head. “I don’t smoke,” luckily he catches on and apologizes for confusing you for someone else. Claiming that he’s been meaning to get new lenses. You tell him it’s no worry and you walk out with Daisy, confused by the interaction. 

“Babe, I know that you smoke,” Daisy says. “You don’t have to lie about it. I smell it every time we sleep together.” 

You frown and sigh, “I’m sorry, I was supposed to quit years ago. But I haven’t been able to kick the habit just yet.” 

“Well, maybe I can help you with that,” Daisy offers as she stops you in front of the car. She slips her arms between yours and carefully laces her fingers through your fingers without dropping the bag. “The idea of smoking used to be kind of hot but you know what's hotter?” You hum in question as you smile down at her. “Living a long healthy life,” she beams up at you. 

“Oh really? That's what's hot these days?” You ask with a light laugh. 

“Oh yeah, baby,” she leans in and kisses you on the lips. The two of you break away and you nod as you look at her. 

“Okay, I'll do it this time. I'll quit,” you promise. She kisses you one more time before completely separating. 

When the two of you arrive at Jean's house you make sure to coach Daisy all the way from the car to the front door. She listens intently to every tip you give and tries to memorize each of them. She wants this to go well almost as much if not more than you do. 

Wanda is making dinner for the four of them when Rachel walks in and asks to help. “Are you sure you don't want to play with the boys?” She asks as she carefully chops some vegetables. 

“They just want to play video games and my mom Anna says that too much screen time rots the brain. I thought she was wrong but my brain feels rotten right now,” Rachel says as she observes Wanda. 

“Well, I could use some help with the sauce. If you're up to stirring it,” Wanda offers as she thinks of an easy task to give the girl. Rachel happily walks over to the stove to stir the pot but she isn't quite tall enough. “Sorry sweetie,” Wanda apologizes as she steps away from the cutting board to grab one of the stools that the boys use when they help her in the kitchen. “Better?” She asks and once Rachel is standing on the stool she grabs the spoon and then nods to answer Wanda. “Good, now please be careful. The sauce, the pot, and the stove are very hot and I would hate for you to get hurt. Okay?” 

“Yes ma'am,” Rachel says as she keeps her eyes on the sauce. Wanda washes her hands before she resumes chopping the vegetables for the salad. As she does, she prays that nothing bad happens to your little girl. 

“I must admit, the two of you are cute together,” Jean says as she cuts into the salmon on her plate. “Can I ask, why did you go for Y/n? I mean you're so young and they, well, let's be real. They come with a lot of baggage.” 

“Jean,” you say sternly.

“No, it's okay,” Daisy says as she chews her food. She takes a few extra seconds before swallowing in order to find an answer that won't sound like she was just trying to live an old fantasy of hers and ended up wanting more out of it. “I know that I'm young, but as I understand it you weren't much older than me when you found your current wife and married her shortly after.” You clear your throat to hide your amusement as Jean kicks you under the table. “As for all that I'm signing up for with Y/n,” she reaches for your hand and smiles at you as you accept her touch. You smile back. “Well, just because I'm young doesn't mean that I don't come with my own baggage. I have plenty of my own things that others might be put off by. But Y/n doesn't see those things as a reason to not be with me. And I don't see your daughter or the fact that they smoke and can't seem to stop as a reason to not be with them.” Your smile drops at the last part. You know that she was only trying to impress them by showing that she knows you but of all of the examples, you can't believe that she used that one. 

“I fucking knew it!” Jean shouts. “I knew you started again!” 

You close your eyes and shake your head as you let go of Daisy's hand to rub your face. “Jean-”

“No, don't Jean me,” Jean interrupts. “You've been calling me crazy for years! I can't believe it. Even Anna, my own wife, would take your side!” 

“I'm sorry, I know. It's just been a hard habit to kick. I mean, you had a legitimate reason to quit when you got pregnant with Rach. I just, I just, I haven't had a push like that.” You try to defend yourself. 

“Oh no, did I say something I… I'm so sorry, Y/n. I knew I shouldn't have -” 

“No! See, this is good. We can finally get the truth,” Jean says. 

“Honey, please calm down. Why does it upset you so much that Y/n chooses to do this damage to their own body?” Anna asks as she starts to rub her partners back. 

Jean tries her best to take slow breaths. “It upsets me because Y/n is Rachel's Baba. My uncle was a big smoker and it nearly killed my cousin to lose him to lung cancer and I don't want that for my daughter. And no matter what they are to me, ex-partner, co-parent, friend, I do still care what happens to them.” She looks at you and you cast your eyes down to your plate, knowing that loss was hard for Jean as well. She loved her uncle. And you thought he was pretty great too. In fact, he's the one who bought your first pack of cigarettes when you and Jean were fifteen after he realized where his cigarettes were disappearing once he caught the two of you and her cousin in his backyard. 

He didn't really have a philosophy on children's health and his daughter was a product of that and partially, so were you. He didn't really bust you guys. Instead, he walked away grumbling about something under his breath and left the house. He came back a few minutes later with a few packs of cigarettes and handed one out to each of you. “Don't take mine ever again. You want smokes, ask,” he had said in a raspy voice before walking away. “And stay away from my beers. Y'all are too young, it'll rot ya brains.” The way that he could barely talk without gasping for air or barely walk without coughing up a storm should have been enough to scare you away from the nicotine. But instead, you happily opened that pack and from there started a habit you'd rather hide in shame than quit.

“I'm sorry, I know I should have stopped. And I shouldn't have lied to you as much as I have. I just,” you look at her and remember the broken girl at the funeral and sigh. “There's no excuse. I'm going to quit this time. I promise,” you say as you lay your hand on the table to offer to Jean. 

She looks at your hand with a frown and a scowl before putting her hand in yours. “Okay, you better mean it this time.” 

“They do,” Daisy chimes in. “I told them that I'd help them quit.” Jean gives Daisy a tight smile because she doesn't want to like this girl for you, but it's getting harder and harder not to. 

Wanda is smiling at her phone as she receives a flirty message that was actually cute and not completely sleazy. She starts to type a response when she hears Billy wail in the living room. “Mom! Tommy hit me!” 

“Stop being such a girl, you tattle tale!” Tommy shouts next. 

“Boys!” Wanda yells as she hurries down the stairs. “What happened?” Wanda says with her hands on her hips. Both boys start to tell very different stories. “Ah ah, one at a time. Billy, you go first.” 

“I was trying to pick something that we could all watch when Tommy took the remote from me and-”

“That's not true! I asked first! Mom, he's lying!” Tommy interrupts. 

Then the boys start shouting at the same time and Wanda has to raise her voice again to get them to stop. “Time out, both of you. Go stand in separate corners.” Wanda shoos them away. Rachel comes out of the restroom, confused to see the boys standing in corners of the living room. Wanda sighs as she looks at the little girl. In her frustration with the boys, she completely forgot that Rachel was here. She didn't want to embarrass the boys in front of their friend. She has the girl sit on the sofa to pick something on the TV and steps a few feet back.“Boys come here,” she calls them to her and gets them to look up at her. “Please behave and let Rachel pick something. She is our guest and guests get to pick the movie. Okay?” 

“Yes ma'am,” the boys say together with frowns. Billy still has fresh tears on his cheeks and Wanda wipes them away before giving her boy a kiss on the forehead. 

“We'll talk about this later, okay?” He nods and moves to the couch and she pulls Tommy back to her by the collar on his shirt, making him laugh as she gives him a surprise hug. “You be nicer to your brother, please,” she says as she tickles him. Tommy agrees through his laughter. 

The group of you have moved your way to the living room each with a beverage in hand, you opted for water since you still have to drive Daisy home and pick up Rachel after. Jean apologizes for the dramatic moment she had and Daisy waves it off. “Oh don't worry, being concerned for Y/n’s health is anything but dramatic. What I consider a dramatic moment was what happened when we had dinner with my father a few weeks ago.” Daisy laughs at the memory and you cringe at the reminder. “We shared the most innocent Disney channel kind of kiss and my father went on and on about showing respect in his house. I mean, this guy was fifty shades of red every time we held each other's hand or touched shoulders for crying out loud!” Everyone laughs with her. 

“I don't blame him,” Jean takes a drink from her wine. “Ugh, I dread the day I find out what kind of parent I am when Rach starts dating. My fingers are crossed tight every day that she's gay.” 

You laugh and shake your head and admit, “Mine are too. A lesbian to specify.” You and Jean clink your glasses together. “To the traumas of teen pregnancy!” You say it as the toast which makes her laugh. 

“I really admire the two of you for being so close after a divorce,” Daisy says as she observes the two of you. 

“Trust me, it gets old,” Anna jokes, making Jean roll her eyes. “I'm kidding. It is nice to see, especially with Y/n's parents being such nightmares you'd think they’d - oh I've made a faux pas, haven't I?” Anna mouths the word sorry to you and you shake your head in a manner that lets her know that it's fine.

“I guess we haven't gotten to the talk about your family past Kate,” Daisy says awkwardly. 

You shrug, as you make eye contact with Daisy. “I don't like to talk about it much. Anna only knows because Jean was, as you know, my childhood best friend and she was there for me through it all.” You look at your cup and swirl the water and watch the melting ice cubes knock into each other. But yeah, I had a couple of very clear examples of what not to do when it came to the family I would one day build. My parents aren't terrible people, just flawed as everyone is. I'm closer with my mom because after she had Kate she didn't treat me less than her. My dad however, preferred my step siblings over me. He never said it, but I could feel it. The only big thing he ever did for me was pitch in to get this house when Jean and I got married because he knew how hard it is to provide for a family when you're young.” 

Daisy takes a moment to digest the information before scooting closer to you on the couch to wrap her arm around you and lean her head on your shoulder. You kiss the top of her head and Jean smiles softly as she feels better about this pairing. She still doesn't think that Daisy is your forever person. But she's happy that someone is making you happy for now. 

Looking at the time you have to call it a night since it was pretty late and you still had to pick up Rachel from Wanda’s house. As you and Daisy are saying your goodbyes, Jean asks to talk to you alone for a moment and Daisy kisses your cheek as she tells you that she'll wait in the car. “I think she's great and if you're ready, I think you should introduce her to Rachel. I mean, the girl is considering transferring to a lesser college to be closer to you. I think she is really committed to you and even to Rachel.” 

“Thank you,” you scoop Jean into a tight hug. You put her down and she tells you goodnight and tells Anna that she's going to get ready for bed. You are about to bid Anna a goodnight as well when she stops you. 

“Let me start with, I know this isn't my place to tell you this and Daisy is a sweet girl and the two of you make a cute couple. But she isn't for you, Y/n. Your aura's don't compliment each other. There's this energy around you, like you're forcing two pieces of a puzzle that don't fit together. I'm not going to stop you from introducing her to our daughter, but please consider it a bit longer before you do because… Jean is too polite to say this, but what you and Daisy have it isn't meant to be.” She rushes out softly before you're able to get a word in. You aren't ever rude to Anna and her beliefs but you never thought she'd ever say something like this to you. Especially when you're the happiest that you've been in years. 

“You're right, it's not your place. Goodnight,” you reply tersely before walking to the car. You take a few breaths to calm down before you climb into the car. 

“I think that went well,” Daisy says happily and you don't have it in you to repeat what Anna said although you feel like you should. 

“Yeah, it did. Jean agreed to introducing you to Rachel and I don't think we should wait two weeks. I think we should do it tomorrow. What do you think?” You take Daisy's hand in yours and kiss her knuckles. 

Her eyes light up and tears rise to the brims, “Really? I, yes! I'd love to!” You kiss her lips before starting the car and drive to her apartment to drop her off. 

The drive to Wanda’s house has you fuming as you can't believe what Anna said. You were not trying to force two puzzle pieces together. Maybe at the beginning but things have been easier lately. She can't have known that from one meal no matter how spiritually enlightened she is. You cool off by the time you arrive at Wanda's because you know that Rachel will pick up on it and you don't want to snap at her. 

“They all fell asleep,” Wanda whispers as she opens the door before your first could knock on it. “I saw your lights through the window,” she explains to your confused expression and you make a new one to show that you understand. “How'd it go?” She asks as she closes her cardigan around herself. 

“Um, good for the most part. Ended kind of weird, but I'll tell you about it later. I just need to get Rach home,” you whisper as you tiptoe into the house. 

“Of course,” Wanda says as she carefully closes the door. “Um, can you do me a favor first,” she asks as she looks at the boys sleeping in odd positions on the couch. You look at them and let out a small laugh through your nose as you remember being able to sleep like that without having intense pain for several days after. “Can you help me carry them to their room?” She asks with a pleading smile. You nod and she thanks you quietly as she moves to pick up Billy. You gently lift Tommy into your arms and follow Wanda up the stairs. You carefully tuck Tommy into his bed and watch Wanda tuck Billy into his. She is such a great mom. You feel blessed every time you're able to witness moments like these. She doesn't leave the room without giving them each a kiss on the head. 

“Thank you for watching Rachel, I really appreciate it,” you say as the two of you walk downstairs. “I really owe you one.” 

“Please,” Wanda waves her hand in dismissal, “consider us even. Vision never helped me put the boys to bed like that. So thank you.” She gives you a warm hug when the both of you are standing at the bottom of the stairs. You take in the warmth that the embrace spreads through your body before separating. 

“It was my pleasure,” you smile at her. Wanda smiles back at you and looks at you the way that almost gets you in trouble every time. What you don't see is Rachel being awake enough to witness the scene. She smiles as she lays back down and closes her eyes to pretend that she was asleep the whole time. 

The next day, you are running around like a maniac trying to get ready and cook breakfast for Rachel. Daisy is going to come by and introduce herself as your girlfriend. You almost couldn't believe that you're doing this. There was a time when you couldn't see this kind of thing ever happening. You are proud of where you are now. When Rachel wakes up because of all of the ruckus you have been causing you tell her to get some nice clothes on. “Why? Mom’s aren’t going to get mad at you if I’m in my pajamas all day. Besides, we'll probably lounge around in our pajamas after you drop me off.” 

“Please, Rach,” you say as you adjust your attire in the mirror. “I have a uh, special friend coming over and I want you to look nice. I kind of have some big news but I want to tell you when she gets here.” 

Rachel perks up at the mention of a female special friend. She has watched enough romantic comedies over the years that she knows a romantic moment when she sees one. Last night, she definitely saw one. “She?” Rachel questions in hopes for more information from you. 

You laugh and drop your head to smile at the floor for a second then look back at her. “Yes, she is a she. You've even met her before.” This extra bit of information gets her excited. She knew it! You had to have invited Ms. Wanda and the twins over. She was finally getting the big brothers that she always wanted. “Please, go get dressed. She's going to be here any second.” Rachel skips off to her room and you go back to the kitchen to take things off of the stove before they burn. You set the table and once everything is as perfect as you can get it. Daisy is knocking on the door. “Hey you, come on in,” you greet her with an innocent kiss on the lips.

Rachel hears you from her room and quickly finishes strapping on her white dress shoes. She threw on a pretty pink dress with a white headband. When she hears you call for her, she finishes brushing her hair and hops out of the room excitedly. However, her smile drops when she sees the hardly familiar woman. 

Daisy gives you a nervous smile and you do your best to be encouraging but you haven't seen your daughter so disappointed. This was nowhere near the reaction you expected. “Hi Rachel, I have heard a lot about you. I'm Daisy, I'm not sure if you remember this but I used to babysit you.” 

Rachel looks at you with a confused face, “Baba, why did you make me get dressed if you're going to leave me with a babysitter?” 

Daisy's smile drops as she looks at you, feeling a little helpless. “Maybe this was too early, I think we should have stuck to our previous plans.” 

You shake your head and whisper, “No, no, this will be okay.” You look at Rachel with a smile, “I'm not leaving you with Daisy, honey. She is the special friend I wanted to introduce you to.” You hold Daisy's hand to show Rachel that you mean it. Unfortunately, she still doesn’t appear to be too happy about it. “Um, I made breakfast,” you say to fill the silence. Daisy nods as she looks between you and Rachel as her worst fears come true. “Let's eat before it gets cold.” You wave to the set table and guide Daisy over. Rachel is still standing in the same spot until you call her over again. 

She sits down with a pout and when you serve her, she pushes her plate away. “I'm not hungry,” she crosses her arms over her chest. You frown, you were there for her introduction to Anna and she had reacted in a similar fashion but back then she just wanted her parents back together. When it was made clear that wasn't happening, she quickly began to warm up to Anna. Now, however, you haven't the slightest idea why she had such a sudden switch flip. She seemed excited seconds before you answered the door. 

“You know, sometimes my tummy feels funny in the mornings too. But I always find that I feel much better after a good meal like your Baba prepared,” Daisy tries to relate in hopes that it will get the girl to like her at least a little bit. Unfortunately she is only met with a glare.

“My tummy is fine,” Rachel retorts, “I'm just not hungry.” Her stomach growls, contradicting her statement. You make a knowing face and try to lighten her mood. 

“Sounds like your tummy could use the food, sweetie,” you try to push the plate closer to her but she just turns her head away. You sigh and quietly apologize to Daisy. You really thought this would be easier. 

“Your Baba has told me a lot about you, Rach like-” Daisy is cut off by your daughter. 

“Only I can call them Baba! Stop calling them that. And only people I like can use my nickname, I don't like you,” Rachel snaps, taking your patience. 

“Rachel Hope Y/l/n, you apologize right now young lady,” normally when you scold her with the full government name she turns into a puddle of tears and apologies but right now, she isn't. “Apologize or go to your room,” you threaten with a stern tone. 

“No,” she says while making eye contact with you, unafraid. It only upsets you further that you lack authority over her. It's one thing to be happening now, but what happens when she's older and getting into trouble? A montage of her getting in trouble with the law and having no future, flashes before your eyes and you know that you have to correct this behavior soon before she gets out of hand. 

“Room, now!” You point to her room and she stands up without a fight. 

Then as she stomps her way to her room she says the three words you never ever thought you'd ever hear from her. “I hate you!” She dramatically slams her door as your heart drops to your stomach. Both you and Daisy collapse in on yourselves. 

“I'm so sorry, Daze. I had no idea that she'd be this upset,” you apologize as you hold her hand in yours. 

Daisy sighs, “Maybe if she was eased into the idea a little, like we planned? I don't know. I tried not to build expectations but ugh, I really wanted her to like me.” Daisy starts to cry at the end of her sentence and she keeps you away when you try to hug her. “No, you don't need to be comforting me right now. I should go,” you try to tell her to stay as she gets up but she doesn't. “Just take care of her, okay? She needs you more than I do. I'll call you later, okay?” 

You nod and kiss her goodbye before shutting the door. You look at Rachel's door and you're not ready to be patient with her yet. So you dump the breakfast that you spent all morning working on and wash the dishes. The alarm on your phone, reminding you that you have to get Rachel off to her mom's soon goes off. You had set it because you thought the three of you were going to be having so much fun and losing track of time. It hurts you because that's not what happened. 

You knock on Rachel's door, “Rach, we have to get going.” 

“I'm not coming out unless she is gone!” Rachel shouts through the door.

You sigh, “She left an hour ago. Come on, we have to go.” Rachel opens the door and is still glaring at you. “Are you ready to go?” You ask tiredly. She walks past you, bumping you with her school bag, as an answer. The car ride is long. You try to get her to talk but instead of talking she just makes loud noises that irritate you into silence. As you're slowing down to park, Rachel runs out of the car the second she gets to. You try to chase her but her moms open the door before you can and she's running to her room yelling that she hates you as she does and slamming her door there too. 

“What did you do?” Jean asks with wide eyes. 

“I introduced her to Daisy and she turned into this. I don't know what happened,” you reiterate the events to them helplessly and the two women share a look before Jean tries to bring Rachel to you to apologize and chat. But all you hear is mean words from Rachel and eventually, Jean giving up. 

“That is not our angel in there,” Jean says as she returns. “I think maybe you should go. We'll take it from here and maybe we can get somewhere with her.” 

You nod, “Yeah okay. I'm sorry, I didn't think this would happen.” 

Jean places her hand on your shoulder, “None of us could have seen this coming, sweetheart. But it has happened and we, as her parents, need to come up with a suitable punishment. This behavior is not okay and we need to figure out how to let her know that. I know we joke that she's just like me, but we don't need a repeat of that.”

“Are we sure punishment is the way to go here? I think that she is going through emotions that she doesn't know how to experience and maybe that's why she's acting out,” Anna says as she looks between you and Jean. “Let me try to talk to her. Don't go anywhere just yet.” She says to you as she heads to Rachel's room. You hear the door open, some muffled voices, then a loud crash, shouting, and the door shut before Anna returns with a red face. “Whatever she is going through is beyond our capabilities, I think we should start her on therapy again.” 

“What happened?” Jean asks as she puts her hand on her wife's back. 

“She threw her cup of markers at my head. She missed me, but I've never wanted to harm a kid more,” Anna admits. “I'm sorry, that was horrible to say,” she says with guilty eyes. 

You and Jean scoff at the same time, “No, I get it. When she started giving me attitude, I suddenly realized why I got so many spankings as a kid. My goodness, I was an actual nightmare.” This makes the three of you share a laugh. Then you take a calming breath and look at Jean. “We've really been spoiled with a good kid like Rachel, haven't we?” 

Jeans nods and her body deflates as well, “Yeah, we have. I guess it was only a matter of time before we got a blow up like this. She is our kid after all.” 

You agree and hug both her and Anna as you start to say your goodbyes. “I'll see you lovely ladies next weekend.” 

The week spent with Daisy is awkward. She remains upset about Rachel's reaction, especially since you had talked up how much your daughter was going to love her and the idea that you were finally having the love story that she has always wanted for you. Especially when she started to want siblings. Jean and Anna had already explained to her why it was different and a little more difficult for them to give her siblings. But all you could tell her was that you can't give her a sibling unless you fall in love with someone. So she started to try and help you find someone to fall in love with. For a long time, she wanted you to find someone and now that you have, you're confused why she isn't happy. 

One night when Daisy is spending the night, you are cooking in the kitchen and don't realize that Daisy didn't return from the bathroom until you've finished cooking the meal. You turn off the stove and cover the pans before you go looking for her. The apartment isn't big so it's not hard to find her and you get a little upset when you find her standing in Rachel's room holding the digital picture frame that your mom got for her. 

“Hey, I know you're hurt and confused but you cannot be in here,” you state calmly. It was a rule. Rachel's room has to be her safe space. If someone is not on Rachel's list, they are not allowed inside. 

“I know, I know,” Daisy says as she snaps out of her thoughts. “I'm sorry, it's just. I was passing by and her door was open and then I…” she starts to trail as her focus returns to the picture frame. You frown out of curiosity of what she is seeing. “Who is this woman? Why haven't you mentioned her?” She shows you the picture on the screen and it's a picture of you and Wanda smiling at each other. You look at the picture and sigh. It switches to the picture that Vision’s private investigator took and you wonder if Tommy and Billy sent it to Rachel from their dad's phone. You're curious how they even know about it. Was he looking at it often and they caught him? Did they overhear the conversation where he threatened you with it? You don't know. But you're very curious as to why her slide show was pictures of you with Wanda. 

“I have mentioned her, in fact you met her the night you slipped your number in my back pocket,” you say as you shake your head because another picture appears of you and Wanda cooking in her kitchen. “We're just friends. I think this is Rachel's way of messing with us.” You place the frame back where it belongs and sigh. “She watches a lot of those Beverly Dawson's Diaries Tree Hill Pretty Little Glee Gossip shows with my sister Kate. I'm starting to think it's not good for a smart girl like her.” 

Daisy follows you out of the room and you close the door behind you but she still seems upset by the pictures. “I'm not upset about the fact that your daughter chose those pictures for her frame. I'm upset that the two of you look like you're in love.” Daisy says and you stop in your tracks. 

“What?” You laugh, “That's crazy. We're just friends. I'm not in love with her.” 

“It was all over your face in those pictures,” she tries to point out but you can't see it anymore. Wanda knew that you felt a certain way about her and she never confessed feeling the same. So you finally let it go when you decided to introduce Daisy to Rachel. Now everything is a disaster. 

“Babe, I love you,” you state as you hold her hands. “Come on, are you really going to doubt me over a couple of pictures?” You try to get her to look at you but you can tell that she is probably spinning in her head. “She watched Rachel so that we could have dinner with my ex to talk about including you in the family. Why would either of us agree to that if we wanted to be together? I don't mean to be so blunt but honey, we’re not in a time where it's some forbidden love. If we wanted to be together, we could be.” 

“So it would have been easy for you to jump into a relationship with her? And I had to convince you to even try with me?” She looks at you with pain in her eyes and pulls her hands away from you. 

You shake your head, “That isn't fair. I've known you since you were younger. These days that could make me look like some sort of predator. Not to mention I was really good friends with your father. Part of my hesitation was out of respect to that man and I wasn't quite sure what would happen to that relationship once I started dating you. To be honest, it hasn't been good. He hates me now.” 

“He doesn't hate you,” she rolls her eyes, tired of hearing this thought from you. 

“He can't even look at me, Daisy. Did you know that I used to be able to call him up and ask him for advice or even just to talk? Any time of the day and even at night and he would always answer? Now he sends straight to voicemail. Doesn't even read a text.” 

“I am so sorry that I got between you and my precious father! Maybe you two should be together! Oh wait, can't forget about Wanda!” Daisy raises her voice as she moves around the apartment, collecting her things. 

“Daze, come on. I don't mean it like that. I'm happy to be with you, I'm just saying that it's different circumstances. Come on, can we please have dinner and not argue about this?” You try to get her to stay. “We've both had long days, and I won't speak for you but I'm a bit delirious, I hardly ate today. Can we please get some food in us before we both say things we don't mean?” 

Daisy looks you up and down with a tight expression before sighing and allowing her body to deflate. “Yeah, okay, yeah. I could eat,” you relax a little bit as she sets her things down and follows you to the kitchen. You serve the both of you and the two of you eat together in silence. “That was very good, thank you,” she says after clearing her plate. You smile at her as you continue to eat. Then she starts laughing, “I'm sorry, I don't know why I got so insecure. You make me feel nothing but secure in our relationship.”

You reach your hand out to hold hers, “It's okay.”

“No, it's not. I've been driving myself crazy since meeting Rachel as your girlfriend. I mean, we used to have so much fun when I was just her babysitter. But I guess I can see how this can't be an easy adjustment for her.” Daisy frowns as she plays with your fingers. “And seeing that Wanda slide show clearly didn't help. Clearly she is shipping the two of you.” 

You make a face, “Shipping? What's that mean?” 

Daisy laughs as she shakes her head looking at you and poking her tongue to her cheek. “You're so cute when you act like you live under a rock.” You make another face and she stops you from saying anything. “Shipping is when a person, for example Rachel, wants two people together and they support the idea of those two people or characters being together. Think, Everlark for those Hunger Games fans.” 

“Don't hate me, I still haven't gotten around to watching that stuff,” you confess and Daisy's eyes widen. “What? I figured that Rachel will have that phase and I'll just watch it then. Besides, I've always been more into comics and superheroes. Oh and comedies! I love a good comedy. I watched the Harry Potter movies,” you mention to try and get the shock off of Daisy's face. 

“Now we both have some homework to do,” Daisy says as she rises from the table and collects the dishes from the table. “I'll wash these, you go find the first Hunger Games movie and put it on,” she directs and you laugh until you realize that she isn't kidding. You accept it and move to the living room to do as she asked and get comfortable for an impromptu movie night.

Chapter 12

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld

[rmwb-fanfics]

How to remake Harry Potter:

(A step by step guide)

We’ve already had one god-awful adaptation that way too many people think is good. This is our one chance to have the book characters represented correctly, along with the plot they support.

I’ve put YEARS of thought into this. I’ve written scripts for episodes of a hypothetical tv show. I’ve drawn concept art. I’ve done shit. So I figured I’d share my thoughts.

1. Stick to the books*.

Stick to the books has a massive asterisk next to it because I mean the plot and characters. Some stuff (as you’ll see later) should be changed.

Nothing in this show should feel out of character. Harry should be closer with Ron than he is to Hermione. Snape should be a real d*ckhead. Hermione should be judgmental of those who don’t think like her, etc etc. The way these characters navigate their relationships is why the fandom is still relevant. It’s why canon-compliant fic is popular in the first place. We like their dynamics. SHOW THEM APPROPRIATELY.

Plot is a sticky thing because I’d say there’s wiggle room, but not too much. Certain characters have to die. Certain events must happen. You cant change that stuff.

2. Use the Medium.

You’re using film as a format to tell your story. Ideally you’d us animation, but I know Warner Bros has less creativity than Disney’s remake department, so I won’t even try and pitch that.

Use colour and saturation. It can help contextualize emotion. It can make us subconsciously recognize things. For instance, the scene growing more saturated when Ron walks into the room when Hermione is wearing the horcrux, or any multitude of other uses this could bring.

Bring in costume design that (actually fits the world) but also helps show how that character is feeling. What they’re thinking, their personality, their future, etc.

Make magic fun™️. The books sort of sidelined magic in 5-7. Don’t do that. Divert from the books. Magic should feel alive. Colour-code them so we as an audience can recognize spells and what they might do before we see it. Implement sound design to make each spell unique and vibrant. Make this world subtly bursting with magic like it was in the first few books. Have it weave around characters, wrap them up. Be creative with action scenes. Force transfiguration into battle scenes. Choreograph your duels. Show don’t tell us that a wizard/witch is powerful. Turn people into portraits. Lock them up as mice. USE MAGIC.

Your set design should reflect this. Everything should be bursting with personality. Don’t just use the shitty movie sets. Inject some colour, have the surroundings aid you in telling the story. Get weird with the camera. Use these tools to their fullest potential.

Actually fucking try.

3. Utilize Music.

Music is just… such a massive part of film. It’s frustrating how often even the best filmmakers overlook its use. Characters should have themes that mature and develop as the series goes on. Have action arrangements of the themes to play with heroic moments. As the series progresses, we grow attached to these themes. When they appear, the audience FEELS something. Don’t reuse great pieces to force emotion. (Dumbledore’s Farewell in The Prince’s Tale. Are you fucking kidding me?)

For example: Have a theme for Neville that starts out timid and uses very shy instrumentals, but we first hear a change when he stands up to the trio at the end of PS. Then it gains more instruments until OotP, when it grows again. Once we get to DH, it can be used in this heroic swell as he chops the head off the snake in front of Voldemort and everyone watching. The audience, consciously or not, will feel that moment even more.

Have a theme for Ron and Hermione that might not even be romantic until HBP when it gains that element. PLAY WITH MUSIC.

Themes for mystery, adventure, loss, love, friendship, LOCATION. Let them come back throughout the series to highlight various moments. See Lord of the Rings and The Hunger Games, as well as (surprisingly) the Fantastic Beasts films.

Let music affect the visuals. Magic can bend and swivel with the music. Use it to tell the story. Use it to show emotion. Use it to progress a character’s arc. USE CONSISTENT MUSIC.

4 . Be Bold.

This is the big one and it may seem like I’m contradicting myself but I’m not. Rowling’s work hasn’t aged crazily well to modern fiction standards. This is your chance to rectify that. Fill plot holes, actually think through the politics. Introduce world-building elements that enhance the story/characters. (The house system, and how Slytherin fits in. The logic behind avada kedavra???) Get creative with solutions. Contradict the original work when it comes to description of location. If it doesn’t work for the film format, don’t force it to work here.

Spend more time with characters we know are relevant, but maybe not to the plot. These are your Ginny Weasleys, your Seamus and Deans, Nevilles, etc. Really fill them in. Give them more scenes. Ginny has two phenomenal arcs that play completely off-screen, explore them. Show us her friendship with Hermione. Show us her insecurities and her faults. Give us more of her and Harry’s friendship. We know they get married, so maybe fix the whole “Rowling wrote the epilogue first, but didn’t realize she was waiting too long to introduce these characters until HBP”.

Add scenes. Add jokes. Add smiles and covert looks. You have more time, which means you have a chance to focus on friendships, and romance, and world building.

Tell multiple storylines. Give Remus and Tonks a cool spy/thriller subplot interjected with the main story in OotP. Show us more of Fleur staying in England. Give us more of Harry and Sirius bonding. All of this stuff can fit loosely into canon, and be welcome creative additions.

BE BOLD.

And finally,

5. This is your chance to not only retell the story, but to do it better.

RECOGNIZE THIS. Take advantage of this opportunity and enhance canon, don’t fight it.

Don’t add Hermione and Harry dancing because *YOU* don’t like where the romantic pairings went. Don’t add Draco sympathy because you want him to have a redemption arc. Don’t dumb Ron down because you don’t like the fact that he’s just like the teenage boys you dated in High School, and he was a bit immature.

Make changes, be bold, use music, stick to the books*, use the medium, but take this as the opportunity that it is to enhance what came before.

Thank you.

[fictionadventurer]

Top 5 childhood memories (that you're willing to share)

It doesn't feel right to rank these, so I'll just share five memories in an unnumbered list.

-For several years of my childhood, my parents' home was along a monarch butterfly migration route. For about two weeks in September, the trees along one side of our yard would be filled with monarchs. You could put a child-sized dollar store butterfly net on any given branch and catch twenty butterflies at a time. If you ran alongside the trees, the air would be filled with hundreds of them. It was an astounding experience of wonder and beauty. We never learned why the butterflies stopped coming, but we were all heartbroken when it ended.

-Our parish festival was always a highlight of our year. My dad, thanks to connections from his job, always provided arcade games that the church could have at the festival and keep the proceeds from. The Saturday before the festival, that trailer sat in our yard, and we spent the morning playing every game as many times as we wanted, while Mom was in the kitchen making her required pie (and giving us the pie crust cookies made from the leftovers). The festival itself was our earliest experience of getting freedom in a public place. We could run around without parental supervision, spending our own money at kid's games, running up and down ramps and across the little bridge over the drainage ditch--plus we got to be bigshots to the other kids because our dad ran the arcade games. Good times.

-For a few summers when I was in elementary school, my uncle and aunt and their three boys had an arrangement where they could spend five days in a condo by a lake for very cheap, and our family shared that vacation with them. It was a blast--we could swim in the lake or in two separate swimming pools, we'd ride bikes around town, go to a cool park, go boating and fishing, and it was the one time we had access to cable TV. Our last year there, we caught a turtle in a bucket (which is a very vivid memory for some reason), and we spent a lot of time throwing bread off the end of the dock to feed the fish. Our last morning, we wanted to feed the fish one last time, but the only food that hadn't been packed up was a large bag of Skittles, so that's what the fish got. The fish loved them, but would not touch the green ones.

-A tornado hit our house when I was in elementary school. Fortunately, my dad and all of my uncles have construction experience, so for a couple of months, we constantly had family over, with kids coming on the weekends. One Saturday, someone stuck a piece of plywood on top of the monkey bars of our cheap little (only a little broken by the tornado) swingset, and we grabbed several cobs of corn from a nearby recently-chopped field, stripped off the kernels, and had a corn fight. Two or three kids sat on top of the monkey bars while everyone else was on the ground, and we all threw corn at each other. It was the epitome of pointless fun, and it's one of my most vivid childhood memories.

-For several summers, my family spent almost every weekend helping out my maternal grandparents. Mom would clean the house, Dad would help with yard work, and I'd help, but I also spent a lot of time babysitting the younger kids. We spent so much time playing with cousins. Exploring the farm yard. Playing sports. Riding bikes. A favorite game was Red Rover, even though it always ended with someone getting hurt and crying. I find myself longing to go back to Grandma's house every once in a while, and it always aches to remember it no longer exists in that way.

[kirikiss]

Condition of Love - Part Two

ミ☆ Ah, young love :)

ミ☆ Pro Hero! Iida x Reader

ミ☆ Iida and Y/N must renew their hero licenses, but the only way to pass their final test is to follow the unpredictable demands of a group of eager children. As the kids conspire to play matchmaker, the heroes are forced to navigate an unexpected challenge that could determine their futures. ミ☆ pt. 2, no warnings, reader uses she/her. fluff ;D, not fully proofread

click here for pt 1 :)

Iida, who had little experience interacting with children, found himself reverting to his usual stiff, hand-chopping demeanor. “Hello, kids! I am Pro Hero Ingenium, and this is Pro Hero Harmonic. We’ve been assigned to observe you today.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know that! Let us see your quirks in action!” a boy blurted out, his impatience evident. One thing about kids is that they always know what they want.

In an effort to win them over, y/n complied.

Harmonic’s Quirk was simple yet powerful: she could switch places with any person or object within her field of vision whenever she clapped. Spotting a toy block decorated with a bright ‘A,’ she decided to start her demonstration. Harmonic began clapping rhythmically, each clap accompanied by a playful switch with items around the room. She even swapped places with a few of the children, who erupted in laughter as they were momentarily transported to different spots.

The children were thoroughly entertained, their laughter growing with each unexpected change in their surroundings. The anticipation of who would be next kept them on edge and added to the fun. They started clapping along with her.

After a series of lively claps and switches, Harmonic turned to Iida and clapped once more, switching places with him so that he could start his part of the show-and-tell.

Iida’s quirk wasn't as flashy as hers. “It wouldn’t be safe if I used my quirk in here,” he explained with a calm, reassuring tone. The children let out a collective sigh of disappointment but quickly found a new source of entertainment. As Iida and Harmonic captivated a group of kids with thrilling stories of their battles against notorious villains, two mischievous children quietly slipped away to the corner where building blocks with letters were scattered.

With giggles and whispered plans, they carefully arranged the blocks to spell out “Date Me?” In hope one of the pro heroes would stumble upon it and think the other had written it. Once their little prank was set, the two children exchanged satisfied grins and hurried back to the group, eager to hear more of the heroes' tales while secretly anticipating the moment their scheme would be discovered.

As more chaos erupted in the classroom, one boy mischievously snatched Iida’s helmet and started sprinting around the room, laughing maniacally, Iida chased after him. Meanwhile, a boy and girl decided to take advantage of the distraction for their own mischief.

The boy, eyes darting around the room, spotted a neat line of juice boxes that the serious man in the suit had set out for them. Grinning, he grabbed one and took a triumphant sip. Then, his gaze fell on a stack of sticky notes poking out from a cabinet. An idea sparked in his mind. He snagged a note and a pen, quickly scrawling a message with a mischievous smirk.

"Dear Ingenium, I think you're super handsome. Wanna go out with me? Love, Harmonic"

The handwriting was a mess, with some letters large and others tiny, lines zigzagging across the note. Still, he was pleased with it. Glancing at the juice box in his hand, he casually pressed the sticky note onto it before setting it back with the others, acting as if nothing happened.

The girl, not one to be left out, grabbed the pen from him, tapping it against her chin as she thought. A scene from a TV show she had watched the night before came to mind, but instead of taking it lightly, she decided to go for a more sincere tone. With careful, deliberate strokes, she penned her message.

"Dear Harmonic, I've thought about this for some time now, and I want to be honest. My feelings for you have grown beyond friendship. I would be honored if you’d join me for dinner this Saturday so we can talk about what might be next for us. Yours truly, Ingenium."

Her handwriting was neat and precise, reflecting the seriousness of her words. She gently smoothed the sticky note onto another juice box, making sure it was perfectly placed before stepping back, her expression thoughtful.

The two exchanged a knowing glance, both proud of their work but for different reasons. 

As the kids discreetly slipped back into the rowdy group, they watched with eager anticipation. Iida and Y/N stood slightly apart from the others, whispering quietly to each other.

“So, what’s next?” Y/N asked softly, her voice warm and smooth as she leaned close to Iida’s ear.

He turned his head toward her, his voice low as he replied, “I’m not entirely sure. Should we read them a book? Let me see if there’s one around here.”

“I’ll help you look,” Y/N offered with a smile.

They both stood up, unaware of the curious eyes following their every move. The children could barely contain their excitement, waiting for the two heroes to stumble upon the little innuendos they had scattered around the room.

Y/N was the first to notice the building blocks, neatly arranged on a low table. As she leaned down to inspect them, she realized they spelled out a message. “Date me?” she whispered under her breath, her brow furrowing in confusion as she read the words aloud.

“What did you say?” Iida asked, catching the words and turning to her with a surprised expression.

“Oh, nothing!” Y/N quickly replied, straightening up and brushing it off with a light laugh. “Just something the kids must’ve put together. Ah, young love, right?”

Iida shrugged, appearing unbothered by the mishap, and turned back to continue his search for a book. As he moved toward a shelf, something bright yellow caught his eye. He paused, reaching out to pluck the sticky note from the juice box. Unfortunately, the boy who set this up had left the juice box open, causing a splash of juice to land on Iida’s suit.

“Dear Ingenium, I think you're super handsome. Wanna go out with me? Love, Harmonic.”

Iida stared at the note, his face a mix of confusion and amusement. “Hmmm,” he muttered to himself. “This isn’t exactly Y/N’s style.”

It seems at the same time, y/n discovered her thoughtful note as well. She curiously picked up the juice box, reading the note in her head.

 “Dear Harmonic, I've thought about this for some time now, and I want to be honest. My feelings for you have grown beyond friendship. I would be honored if you’d join me for dinner this Saturday so we can talk about what might be next for us. Yours truly, Ingenium."

She chuckled in amusement. Clearly, this wasn’t Iida’s doing. Turning to him, they exchanged the notes with each other, both shaking their heads in disbelief.

“Kids really have wild imaginations,” Y/N said with a laugh.

While Y/N found the situation hilarious, Iida was a bit more serious. He turned to the children, his expression a mix of exasperation and bemusement.

“Alright, kids,” he began with a half-smile, “whatever this prank is, it’s not exactly my idea of funny. But I suppose you’ve got some creativity.”

One kid chuckled, clearly relishing the moment as he began to speak. “Listen, you two,” he started with a bratty tone, “we’re the ones who decide whether you pass this or not. The only way we’ll tell the big scary man you did well is if you agree to go out on a date with each other.”

Iida and Y/N’s mouths dropped in shock.

“What? That’s ridiculous!” Iida exclaimed, though his frustration was tinged with disbelief. “Hero work is serious business—there’s no need to mix it with personal life. How did you kids come up with this idea? TV shows these days are getting absurd!”

Before he could go on, Y/N interrupted with a surprising calm. “I say we have a deal,” she said, a determined look on her face.

Iida turned to her, a slight flush rising on his cheeks. “Wait, what?” he stammered.

Y/N leaned in and whispered, “This is the only way to get our hero licenses back. Do you really want to wait another two weeks?”

Iida thought it over for a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. “I suppose you’re right,” he finally admitted with a resigned sigh.

Turning back to the children, Iida tried to maintain a semblance of authority. “Alright, children,” he said, “if we agree to this, will you promise to put in a good word for us?”

“Promise!” the kids shouted in unison, their excitement barely contained.

Iida and Y/N exchanged glances, a mix of resignation and amusement in their eyes. The deal was struck, and the heroes prepared to navigate their unexpected date as part of their unconventional path to passing the test. 

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《》* 。

taglist: @sofiascripts @yumejoshihimejoshi

[paperbackribs]

A Cat-tivating Distraction

Prompt Day 26 – “Who did this to you?” | Rating: T | CW: None | Tags: established relationship, modern au | WC: 424  For the @steddieholidaydrabbles

😿❤️😽❤️😼

Steve is trying to mark his students' assignments, but his handsome husband is draped heavily over his back. The heat of Eddie's body is only rivalled by his hot sigh on Steve's neck. “Who did this to you?” He cries mournfully, eyeing the multiple piles of papers stacked on the table.

Eddie is bored and wants attention.

Blowing out another breath dramatically, he slides away from Steve's back to sprawl across the sturdy dining room table, abutting, but carefully not touching, the laptop's keyboard. One pile slowly but steadily tips, spreading like melting snow.

"Steve," Eddie whines, inexplicably stretching his name to multiple syllables, "My love, my baby girl, my sweet man, my pro-fessor."

Steve leans forward, pushing the pile back into place with the tips of his fingers, rolling his eyes and resisting the urge to play with Eddie’s curls as they seductively spread across the polished wood.

The stretch of Eddie's arms above his head is a familiar and attractive temptation, but grading is due in two days and Steve will be eaten alive by the clamour of emails and phone calls from demanding parents if he doesn’t get this done.

With his neck on the chopping block, Steve chooses to exercise restraint and gently picks Eddie up by the shoulders, pulls him to an upright position, and elbows him aside with a benign push. "Later, sweetheart," he promises.

Eddie pouts, "Daddy is... evil? Daddy is unyielding? Incapable of love?"

He throws his clasped hands over one shoulder as if holding a hobo stick with a bag, as is appropriate for a runaway, impoverished lover.

"I am packing my rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household." Eddie turns as if to walk away while not budging an inch and woefully looking back at his husband.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, unwilling to admit his amusement at Eddie being able to quote verbatim a stupid meme from four years ago. "No baby," he deadpans. "Don't leave me, I'll treat you right."

Eddie impishly bats his lashes, "Even with meow-ijuana?"

Steve sighs in defeat, pulling a snickering Eddie onto his lap who theatrically throws away his hobo stick and bag to the floor.

He arranges his ridiculous and comical partner for life so that he can reach around to continue marking assignments. Resting his chin on Eddie's shoulder, Steve wryly says, "I'll keep you in the best greenery, baby."

Eddie just hums, snuggling into his Stevie and planning his next cat-tivating distraction.

of course, the meme in question 👇

[morbidology]

Keith Dardeen and his wife, Elaine, lived in a mobile home just outside Ina, Illinois, with their 2-year-old son, Peter. At the time, Elaine was also pregnant with their second child, a daughter. Keith worked as a treatment plant operator while Elaine worked in an office supply store. In their free time, they played in the musical ensemble at a local Baptist church.

The area the young family lived in had been becoming increasingly violent and the couple wanted to move somewhere safer for their children. Keith was very protective of his family and only wanted what was best for them. On one occasion, he refused entry to the home to a young woman who asked to use their phone.

On the 18th of November, 1987, Keith didn’t show up to work for his shift nor had he called in sick, something which was very out of character for the reliable worker. When Keith's supervisor called his home, there was no answer. He decided to call up Keith's parents, but they too were unable to get a hold of him.

Keith's parents called police and arranged to meet them at Keith's home with the spare key. They slowly opened up the front door and were met by a scene that traumatized even the most seasoned detectives. Elaine, Peter and a newborn baby girl lay deceased on one of the beds. Elaine and Peter had been bound and gagged and then beaten to death with Peter's own baseball bat which had been a gift from his father. During the senseless attack, Elaine had given birth to a baby girl, but instead of giving her mercy, the killer beat her to death too.

Keith was nowhere to be seen, and detectives surmised that he had killed his family and then fled. They noticed that his car was missing from the driveway, only adding more to to heir suspicions. However, the following day, Keith’s body was discovered in a field approximately a mile from the trailer. Keith had been shot three times and his penis had been chopped off.

His car would later be found parked outside the local police station. The inside was spattered with blood, indicating that Keith had been killed or mutilated there. As news of the murders circulated around the area, residents were left even more fearful than they already had been. There was a rise in gun and security system sales as people sought to protect themselves.

Detectives were stumped to find a motivation. Nothing in the home had been stolen, and there were no extramarital affairs or enemies that could hint at a revenge motivated killing. The murders were so brutal that some detectives even theorized that the crime was the was work of a cult trying to appease the devil.

The most promising lead came when serial killer Tommy Lynn Sells claimed he had carried out the killings along with around 70 other unsolved murders. While he was linked to a number of these murders, detectives could never definitively link him to the Dardeen murders. He often gave statements which didn’t match with the evidence.

Sells claimed he met Keith at a gas station and was invited back to the home for a threesome with himself and Elaine, something which his family and friends completely refuted. They said that Keith was a family man, and rarely even opened the door to strangers never mind invite them inside.

To this date, nobody has ever been charged with the murders of the Dardeen family.

[sugurusdiscordmoderator]

gojo braiding sugurus hair 🥹🥹🥹🥹

this is the first time I’ve written fluff in a while so thank you for the practice 🤭

au where Geto didn’t turn bad and they are co-parenting

-

It was a sunny spring afternoon with a little chill in the air when Satoru had pick up duty of the kids from school. Although they were different ages, Tsumiki, Megumi, Nanako and Mimiko all went to the same school a few blocks from their luxurious Tokyo apartment. Tsumiki and Mimiko walk a little ahead of the rest, talking about their art projects they they both are carrying. Megumi, silent as ever tends to look at the trees and sky and bugs when walking, observant to everything but the people around him. Nanako is talking about drama of a girl in her class uninviting another girl to a birthday sleepover as Gojo dramatically responds with “NO WAY,” and “girllll”.

After Nanako pauses to catch her breath, dramatically breathing hard she stops walking which in turn causes Gojo to stop and Megumi who was holding his other hand.

“Dadtoru,” she asks, the nickname that the four kids worked together to give him given they had two dads, “Can you braid my hair tonight? Papaguru always does it…” She twirls her blonde hair around her finger giving Satoru the most puppy like eyes she could. Megumi can be heard in the background with a “tsk” and releases Gojos hand to catch up with the other two girls.

“Yes hunny, I’d love to braid your hair,” Satoru smiles and pats her head, grabbing her hand again to catch up with the other kids as they approach their building. The doorman smiles and greets all of them, but Satoru is too distracted by the fact that he now has to learn how to braid hair. He thought he’d always be able to get by because Suguru knew how to. He grabs a lollipop from the front desk and watches as the kids argue over who gets to press the elevator button today. “Megumi it’s your turn,” Satoru says quietly. He’s not really sure but he’s secretly his favorite so he pretty much gives him what he wants. They make their way upstairs, Mimiko singing some song they learned in music as Satoru takes a selfie in the reflective mirror surface of the elevator to send to his better half.

‘Suguru, look how good I’m doing at pick up duty!’ *1 attached image*

A few seconds later a ding goes off his phone ‘Nanako’s fly is down, Megumi’s shoe is untied, Tsumiki has her backpack hanging open, and Mimiko is just making a weird face’ He can tell Suguru is just kidding but he still is offended.

‘She was singing’ Satoru responds, ignoring the rest as the elevator dings open to their apartment.

-

“You know the drill, shoes off, wash your hands, homework at the table.” Gojo is in total dad mode on his day off, a rare day where he didn’t have a mission or meetings or teaching. Tsumiki being the oldest of the four helps them all wash their hands, and the four sit at the kitchen table, 6 seats, the two heads of the tables open for Satoru and Suguru. Gojo stands in the kitchen, chopping apples and celery, arranging a snack plate for the kids.

“Dadtoruuuu,” Mimiko whines, “you didn’t take us to your favorite mochi place like you usually do on your days off!”

Satoru chuckles and brings the snacks over to the kids, saying “papa would not forgive me if I ruined your appetite for supper again.”

The kids eat their snacks and go over their homework, Gojo helping when needed but mostly reading up for the mission coming up where he has to leave the country.

The kids finish their work one by one, the twins opting to play dolls with each other while Megumi plays on his iPad on the couch and Tsumiki draws in her room. Satoru gets started on dinner, taking over some responsibilities while he is actually here. He looks over at a photo on the fridge, a picture of him and Suguru with Rico Amanai, the star plasma vessel they saved and who is now one of the kids babysitters while she’s in college. That was their first big mission where it felt like they made a difference in jujutsu society. Next is a photo of Kento Nanami with all 4 children when they were much younger, hanging off his large muscular frame like little monkeys. He also helps out at times when Suguru has to work late and Satoru is not present. And last but not least, is a photo on Satoru and Suguru’s wedding day, Shoko Ieiri as their flower girl / officiant / ring bearer. She gets to watch the girls sometimes when they need a female in their lives (but not often, Suguru doesn’t think she’s a good influence).

As the pot on the stove simmers and Satoru comes back from zoning out about their past and hears keys jingling outside the front door.

Suguru Geto has become Jujustsu tech’s newest principal, and also has gotten into the high ranks of sorcerer society. He is wise, level headed, and ethical, in which everyone has respect for him. The story of how the two men saved these 4 kids earned them quite a lot of credibility, as everyone had previously seen them as immature teenagers being the two strongest sorcerers in the world. Principal Yaga decided his time was best spent elsewhere in the jujutsu world but still occasionally visits.

As Suguru comes through the door Nanako and Mimiko come flying down the hallway to greet him. He sets his briefcase down on the table, pushing his bangs behind his ear before picking both of them up for a big hug. Giving them both a kiss on their cheeks he asks, “How was school today my loves?”

“Good!” They say in unison giggling.

“How ‘bout you ‘Gumi?” Suguru glances over at the boy on the couch and the boy simply holds up a thumbs up. He walks into the kitchen, seeing Satoru cooking, and walks up behind him, wrapping him in a warm embrace and kissing the side of his head the best he could since he is a little shorter than the white haired man. Satoru turns around and gives Suguru a long kiss, to which the black haired man responds “hmm you missed me that much,” with their lips still partially attached.

“Yes I did. It’s so hard being a stay at home dad.”

“Toru, you do this like once every three weeks, give it a rest please,” he fake rolls his eyes and takes off his suit jacket, heading to their shared bedroom to change into comfy clothes. Satoru follows him, leaving his food unattended for a minute.

“So Nanako gave me some homework today,” he says watching Suguru raise his eyebrow at him in the mirror while he undoes his tie. “She wants me to braid her hair.” The concerned look on Satoru’s face makes Suguru chuckle while unbuttoning his dress shirt.

“I can teach you on Tsumiki. And then you can try on my head.”

Satoru smiles, “look at you, teaching me something for once.”

—

After dinner it is bath time, bed time stories, and off to bed for the youngest 3. Tsumiki reads on her own, in which Satoru interrupts her “Hey can we borrow you for a minute?” The quiet girl quickly obliged following him into the living room, where Suguru has a mirror, hair brush, and some elastic hair ties laid out.

“Can I braid your hair?” Suguru smiles at her and she takes a seat on the floor sitting in front of him on the couch. Tsumiki continues her reading while Suguru goes through all the instructions.

“So first you have to brush everything through and make sure they’re no knots, just like you do with mine. And then you grab a decent sized piece from the top and separate it into 3 parts. Then you start alternately weaving them one through the other, adding a little chunk of hair from the sides each time.”

Satoru watches intently as Suguru’s large muscular hands work gently through the girl’s black hair. Her hair is a little longer than the rest of theirs so it takes a little while, but Suguru has been doing this for a few years at this point. He’s pretty confident he can do it, it may not be pretty but a braid is a braid right?

As Tsumiki’s braid is finished she stands up and gives both of her dads a kiss on the cheek before heading to her room. Satoru calls after her “lights out by 9 okay ‘miki?”

“Mhm” she responds back.

Now Suguru is sitting on the floor, flipping through the tv station patiently awaiting Satoru to play with his hair.

They both are reminded of a time in their high school when Suguru’s hair was shorter. He wore it in a bun with just his bangs sticking out, and after long missions he would ask Gojo to come lay with him in his dorm bed. Satoru always cuddled up to him like a koala, releasing his hair from the bun and running his fingers through it.

Satoru grabs the brush off the coffee table, gently brushing through his lovers soft long black locks. He follows the steps he was instructed and Suguru watches him in the little handheld mirror.

“You can pull it a little harder.” Suguru says.

“That’s what she said,” Satoru quips back and winks at his husband in the mirror.

It takes significantly longer than it should but by the end, Suguru’s beautiful locks are braided into a neat, precise French braid. The two proceed to cuddle on the couch and finish watching the nightly news.

“You’re such a good dad,” Suguru mumbles as he holds Satoru close.

“You are too,” Satoru smiles back at him, kissing his forehead.

-

In the morning Gojo has to leave a little earlier than usual for his teaching at Jujutsu high. He goes into the twins bedroom to wake up Nanako so he can do her hair. She sleepily follows him to the bathroom before realizing what he is doing. She has the cutest little smile on her face watching him concentrate to get her hair perfect. Right as he finishes Mimiko stumbles into the bathroom sleepily. “You want a braid too?” He asks and she nods as she wipes her eyes and yawns. 10 minutes later both twins have their hair braided and are eating their breakfast when Tsumiki comes out with her also braided hair, a little messy from it being slept on. Suguru is in the kitchen making lunches with his braid left in, likely because he forgot about it.

“I’ll see you at work babes,” Gojo pecks Geto on the cheek before rushing out the door, it being Suguru’s turn to walk the kids to school.

Satoru zones out in the elevator, thinking about his sweet family, 4 of them walking to school with matching braids in, and little Megumi with his spikey hair.

bonus: a rough sketch of it but Gojo looks like he’s on crack