#Their relationship is a little more complex due to how time has changed them

[gethoce]

Hello I have 2 questions How is You're friendship with morpho knight And the second question is, do you go on a picnic with your wife?

Valfrey: How she treated me originally was very different from how she does today. Her thoughts and feelings were rarely overtly expressed, but my love for her was no less strong.

Valfrey: Ages later, when we got to meet again after her rebirth and I regained my freedom, she did not recognize me yet she was unmistakably my wife. It took some time for me to regain her trust. She is a lot more extroverted than she used to be, willing to share even her most sensitive thoughts with me. Undeniably, the new life has changed her, yet I love her all the same.

Valfrey: We do occasionally enjoy a good picnic! Usually her “little morningstar�� will tag along with us, too. It's always a delight!

@kirbyoctournament

[mimble-sparklepudding]

OC Questions on the Seven Forms of Love.

A little list of OC questions based on the seven types of love identified in Ancient Greek thought. Obviously this is a highly simplified presentation of some quite complex philosophical concepts from Classical History, intended more for the purposes of entertainment than education. I also left out Mania, which is arguably an eighth type of love (Obsessive), because I'm keeping it mostly positive in these tricky times!

Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.

Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?

Philautia – Self Love.

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey—maybe, as your followers, we can all work to limit the number of asks we send you. because it really sounds like this was something that used to be fun for you but has steadily become something that is very exhausting due to the sheer volume of asks, along with the clarity of some of their contents. I really appreciate what you do but I feel burnt out for you. I hope I’m misreading this at worst—I just think we need to ease up a little, remember that Google is a thing, and maybe give you a break or two.

look, I want to be so clear: I can and do give myself a break whenever I need to. I love answering sex ed q's, but I also love my peace of mind. I've gotten comfy closing the inbox when it's overfull. I'll leave questions sitting as long as I need to before getting to them. and, guys? I delete a LOT of asks. like, TONS. for all kinds of reasons, none of them personal.

I've been trying to spend less time on tumblr for lots of reasons lately, namely that I have other demands on my time and I focus better when I can't fall into the trap of infinite scrolling through my dash and my own notifications. like I said the other day, I write a LOT more when I'm on tumblr less, and I really like that sense of accomplishment.

if there was any change I'd want to see in the inbox, I would love for people to actually have a sense of understanding what it is that I can actually answer. I'm not a healthcare provider, and as such I don't feel responsible weighing in on pressing medical issues. I'm in no position to be offering advice to people explaining complex traumas that would be better discussed with therapists. and I have absolutely no ability or desire to tell people how to navigate their relationships with romance partners because that's none of my business. those kinds of asks, I could definitely do with less of.

[siren-sashimi]

Dating the Uchiha boys - the down sides Headcanon list [Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Obito, Uchiha Shisui x gn! reader]

Contents and warnings: quarrels in a relationship, egotistical behavior, toxic masculinity, emotional repression, arguments

Sasuke Uchiha Oh boy, where do I even begin?

A lot of his issues - most of them begin with him having a little brother inferiority complex.

He is a master through effort. While Sasuke can be and is rightfully proud if his achievements, his pride can easily fall apart when he doesn't receive recognition from his family.

Since he's so fixated on his family's approval, he tends to blend out any other significant relationship while working towards his goal.

In short: Proud but fragile ego. 

While he would never hurt you physically or aiming at hurt you emotionally or psychologically, when Sasuke is in a reckless mood or angry he lash out such harsh feelings on you by being abrasive, grumpy, or saying that your help is useless.

Sasuke has a hard time processing feelings, mostly he processes them via anger.

Sometimes looks for fights/arguments when he's in a foul mood. Another person making a joke on Sasuke's expenses. Expect that you need to drag Sasuke out of the room before things go out of hand.

Positive note: He is capable of arguing with you. Or let's say: Your argument can end in aggressive shouting matches where he can be an insensitive ass. Afterwards he will stew in his anger and a bit of selfrighteousness before he slowly considers that there might be truth to what you said...

Here's the issue: Sasuke does deeply care for you. He doesn't actually date you as much as he fell in love with you and got over himself to ask you to stay by his side. His kind of love is quiet, more expressed in action, due to the fact that he isn't good at expressing himself with words. So he does seem withdrawn, or it doesn't seem comprehensible why he keeps you around four outsiders. (Even for you by times.)

Homeboy can change and get better but the process demands time, clear boundaries, and patience...

Once figured out that he's really good at sex and for a while tries to use to distract you from arguments.

You have to be the mature one in this relationship.

Generally, it would be better if you had an established friendship where most qualms between the two of you are settled before you feel ready to take on all the complication with romantic problems...

Itachi Uchiha

Constantly under pressure from family as oldest son. By times the family and social expectations will interfere with your private life planning.

Itachi has a hard time fighting back, by times he doesn't even know that he should. Sometimes all the demands loaded on him take up too much of his energy and health to have the energy to fight back. Other times some things are too ingrained in him by his upbringing too properly reflect on how adequate they actually are...

When you try to explain to him that he should not take up everything or say no, he needs a long time realizing that this isn't a(nother) request for your happiness but that you see unhealthy patterns, dynamics, and demands put on him. He's barely used to people being concerned for him for his own sake.

Is unconscious of him guarding himself from his lover. He will act as everything was fine without opening up about things that worry him. It takes a long time to slowly remove the bricks from his walls.

Another family issue is his relationship with his younger brother: Sasuke is one of Itachi's top priorities, even when Sasuke messes up. Their dynamic is not always harmonic either because Sasuke feels so often inadequate, if not jealous when compared to his brother.

It's quiet asymetrical how much work you've to put into Itachi standing up for himself (and your relationship) against his family but he will immediately do a 180 flip for his little brother, no questions asked.

Can't take breaks. Tries not to let his composed façade crack, so even if he knows if he's overworked, struggles with health, he's too stressed out by all the things he wants to get done to stop for his own sake.

At risk to implode from external pressure. 

What the two of you need is private space where time belongs to you and into which his family can't just barge in as they please. 

It's disheartening how little he would actually open up to you, be vulnerable. It's about him feeling safe around you to be himself. Give him time don't push him but set boundaries how much you can bear to see him struggling with the weight on his shoulder.

Obito Uchiha

a lot of problems begin and end with Obito's deeply seated insecurity. Things like his work or making his idealized visions give a strong sense of control and mastering the situation so they became his compensatory tactics. Not that he can't learn and rethink small things but he can be so stubborn, some criticism may reach far deeper into is self-confidence than you or even he actually expected.

Since his childhood he spend so much time in isolation, he can also be emotionally immature and trying to fill the void from all the things he has been deprived of.

Emotionally immature when it comes to romance. In the beginning of your relationship his state of mind is basically the one of a hormonal teenager.

Being with someone in a romantic way fulfils multiple needs for Obito: Being finally shown affection he's so starved for, well um... "physical yearning", finally a stable constant in his life.

May not seem like it but only functions at work because there hardships of life can be solved with a clear goal. Tendencies to be a workaholic to bury emotions he doesn't know how to handle.

In the beginning you're basically an idol  for his emotional salvation. You having diverging expectations, or don't need or want all cliché romantic gestures but Obito being himself is something he needs to learn.

Needs basic sex ed. He knows a lot from having read Icha Icha during down time but oh boy. Some moments when you first had sex were baffling if not hilarious with some ideas Obito had.

So headstrong. When he's convinced of what he does is correct counterarguments are either ignored or escalate into heated fights. Takes counterarguments 

But also actually very insecure. Obito is so insecure about conflict, too self conscious of his looks, of past mistake that he tries to overcompensate with any other quality, only to then implode that he's not enough in any way.

Obito needs to learn that differing opinions don't mean immediate break up or the end of the world. You'll love him through the thick and the thin. 

He will need to learn that pushing you away because of self loathing is what causes the rift, not what he hates himself about him.

Shisui Uchiha Most stable of all of them.

but like all of them his family, more accurately their expectations for other family members, are a source of omnipresent pressure.

Since he's not part of the main family expectations are not as high but he too has to act the proper part.

Tries to keep you away from family affairs to the extent of him wanting to do with them as little as possible. 

Itachi's fine, Sasuke's around too but these two are the exception. Even they won't talk about family matters though.

So there's always a part of his life you feel excluded from, the part Shisui only shares with Itachi.

Easy going in relationships but kinda tends to overlook underlying problems. To Shisui being with you is a refuge from family drama where he's the happiest, and well... compared to what the Uchihas can be up to any problem can be minor.

But Shisui is understanding though. If you clearly speak your mind how you're unhappy with the way certain things are, he might be able to get around to better things.

But you also need to be an active part in your time together. Whereas Shisui's cousins have very personal flaws, Shisui himself is a very reasonable person. You can grow together.

A bit secretive. Nothing major that would burden your relationship still you wish he'd be able to talk about uncomfortable things a bit more...

Don't swallow up frustration but look out for the right time to confront Shisui with things that bother you. If he feels stressed with work and family matters he can get quiet aggressive in tone.

[qin-qin16]

[CW: mention of animal bodies, dead animals, cannibalism, fanon Killer Sans]

Alright! Since many people liked the idea of ​​Hyena coded Killer, I decided to bring some characteristics of these beautiful animals so you can see why so many people like to compare Killer with these creatures.

NOTE: I will comment on some of his canonical details, as well as characteristics that the fandom attributes to him, that is, we will have both fanon and canon Killer here!

First of all, what are hyenas? Hyenas are carnivorous animals from the family Hyaenidae (and during this research, I discovered that hyenas are more similar to felines than dogs, so no, they don't have much in common with dogs or wolves!) that inhabit the African continent and western Asia. They are nocturnal animals, but they can function well during the day as well, and they hunt and live in large groups.

After this brief synopsis, I will now report some characteristics of these curious animals that I, personally, find similar and related to Killer Sans!

Hyenas are very intelligent animals - even with the negative stereotypes surrounding them - and are considered one of the most successful animals in hunting! In addition, they have a very complex social relationship with each other, respecting hierarchies and the leader of their respective packs.

In this excerpt, I can already relate this intelligence to Killer, mainly because many people think that, in fact, he is just a charming, idiotic little guy - but, just like hyenas, he is extremely smart and cautious. About the hierarchy part, I have a divided opinion: in some arts of the creator of Killer, we can see him with Nightmare, but it's not like he respects Nightmare as a leader, but rather as if he fears him or has a certain dislike for him, but also has nowhere to go, so he prefers to stay under Nightmare's "care", acting with false respect so as not to be mistreated so much (?).

Hyenas are scavengers! They can eat animals that are still alive or recently killed, but they are best known for feeding on remains (even bones). And, as mentioned before, they are very successful in their hunts, but unfortunately, these kills are mostly stolen by lionesses - which forces them to keep the remains.

I've already discussed a few times the possibility that Killer has already submitted to cannibalism purely out of curiosity, so it wouldn't be surprising to see him hunting monsters just to devour them (humans too, since Howl brought up a headcanon (I don't know if it was really or if it's something canon) about how Killer doesn't see himself as either a monster or a human with the merging of Chara's soul with his). And I also think that Killer has already tested eating at various stages of body composition.

Due to the high levels of male hormones (such as testosterone), hyenas are also very aggressive animals, which results in many deaths of young hyenas among themselves.

Here I am already relating this characteristic more to the instability between the stages of Killer - like the apathetic change from the second stage to the third, which enters into a kind of aggressive frenzy. I believe that not only triggers in interactions or gestures (such as eating or sleeping), but also smells and Killer's own body are affected by this aggression.

One fact that characterized hyenas as intelligent animals is their complex sociability as a group!

Okay, here comes the fanon part: In many Bad Guy fanfics, headcanons and fanarts, Killer is always treated as the best in social interactions, or the one who breaks up fights and the one who tends to “respect” the certain hierarchy he has in the group. Like hyenas, he has an easier time interacting with others, whether to create emotional bonds or mediate conflicts.

A pack of hyenas can have up to 40 members!

So... Do you know how they like to put Killer in different groups? Well, there's the explanation! His place with the Bad Guys, his partnership with Epic Sanses (more because of Color), his rare appearance with the Star Sanses (more with Ink and Swap). As aggressive as Killer is, he also likes to live in large groups, so he needs to rotate between them to satisfy this social need of his.

Now, some ideas that were taken from the depths of my head and that I won't explain much about:

Many people write/draw Nightmare as a trans woman, so Hyena coded Killer would make much more sense, since in the hyena monarchy, the females lead the pack! And they mostly have more power and decision-making in the groups, in addition to being larger than the males.

The sound that the hyenas can reproduce seems to be a strange laugh. There's not much to comment on, except that I imagine that Killer laughs exactly like that.

Hyenas don't usually lick themselves for better hygiene. Yep. Stinky Killer confirmed!

Now here's a touch of mine: I can see Killer being quite aggressive with his displays of affection, biting, pushing and play fighting, as well as enjoying chasing his friends, pretending they are some kind of prey.

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed it! I accept constructive criticism and more ideas for this headcanon that so many were waiting for!

Tagging people who would like to see about Hyena coded Killer (I guess???)

@howlsofbloodhounds @what-have-i-unleashed @toffeebrew @twinribbonz

[quinnyundertow]

Your writing has made me absolutely fall head over heels in love with Yuta! You write him so well that I look at him in a completely different light now in the manga/anime. Also, I'm very excited for the Toji sequences upcoming in WICYG! xoxo

This made me so damn happy you have no idea! I adore him to know it made you love him more just- BE STILL MY HEART!

I’ve always wanted to write out my Yuta!head-canons and this made me go all in hahaha (Sorry bestie but I hope you enjoy them)

If you forced me to pick a fav from JJK it would 100000% be Yuta. He’s so complex and yet simple as a character. He experienced so much abuse/neglect (from parents, classmates, teachers, even Rika) as a young child due to seeing/having Rika in a non sorcerer environment. Gege said Yuta doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents but is close with a little sister. That’s so easy for me to imagine.

Yuta! Head-canon: His parents are both working full time when the tragedy with Rika happens. They feel so guilty but relieved that their son survived. As time goes on however Yuta won’t stop crying at night about this monster version of his dead best friend haunting him. At first they would pour everything into trying to get him medical help but as the years go by and psychiatrists say he’s seeking attention the care turns to frustration. Probably culminating in a, “Get over it! I don’t want to hear about her ever again!” Type of argument.

Yuta!Head-canon: His little sister would have been a safe person to him. Maybe five years younger than him so they really never talked about that girl Rika who “moved away” when they were little. Rika wouldn’t feel as threatened as she’s his sister and a younger child so I could see her allowing him to form a relationship with him. At least at first. Deep down Rika is kind but she’s still a curse jealousy would crop up or a normal sibling fight could have ended with Rika hurting his little sister only for Yuta to further isolate.

Yuta!head-canon: He is hyper aware of others emotions and if there are changes to someone’s regular personality. He remembers tiny details of everything because that’s how he had to survive growing up. He had to monitor Rika constantly for little changes that could indicate she may explode or cause issues. This aspect also causes him to empathize deeply even with those who may not deserve it. He doesn’t want Rika to kill his bullies because he’s seen the kid menacing him is getting bullied by upperclassmen and understands what that means. That said if they fuck with someone he cares about all that empathy goes out the window and he’s going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Yuta!Head-canon: Yuta has a circle of people very close to him and once you’re in that circle he is a true ride or die. Ask him for anything and trust that shit is getting done no matter how sketchy it sounds. He is the true definition of unconditional love (We all saw how Rika got and he still deeply loved her. ) and would support and trust you totally once you have proved worthy of it by actions.

Yuta!Headcanon: He is quick to fall in love and quick to let them go. If you give him even the littlest bit of praise or extra attention he’s going to get a crush on you. He can’t help it. He’s always held everyone so far away from him so any sort of domestic or doting affection would make him melt. That said he has always had to create firm boundaries around himself and others to protect people so if you told him you’re not interested or not to text you he would abide by that completely.

Yuta!headcanon his personality is that of self sacrifice. He could never be a yandere. He understands and thinks that your life would be better without him in it. How could he try and force someone to be with him? He accidentally did that to Rika and it plagued his mind constantly and was willing to die to let her rest in peace.

I had so much fun writing these out and sorry I hijacked your post!!! I’m so happy you enjoy the story and Toji’s entry should be fun!!!! Thank you for the ask love!!!

[iamnmbr3]

You might not be interested in this ship, but I was wondering what are your thoughts on lucissa? It seems many people think that it was a marriage of convenience and that they didn’t really like each other.

It probably was a marriage of convenience to some extent - I mean, there are only so many eligible pureblood bachelors, especially if you're a Black and thus have very high standards in terms of who has an acceptable level of wealth and social standing and blood purity. Interestingly Lucius is the first Malfoy on the official Black family tree. I've always liked to headcanon that the Malfoys were a bit newer on the scene compared to the Blacks and thus slightly looked down on and that it was a big victory for Lucius to finally land a Black as a bride. I also like to imagine that maybe Abraxas had designs on Walburga but couldn't get it to work. It's a good match for Narcissa and for Lucius. Perhaps given Lucius's accepting attitudes towards Snape in the book 7 flashback as opposed to Bellatrix calling Harry a filthy half-blood, the Malfoys might be considered a bit too liberal for the tastes of some more conservative family members, but are able to make up for it with their tremendous wealth. That said, it's certainly a respectable, acceptable marriage by her family's standards, and probably a mark of how the Malfoys have come up in the world.

That doesn't mean that there wasn't also affection there too. They certainly don't seem to dislike each other - and are definitely seen together a lot more than Bellatrix and her husband for example. Narcissa certainly gets angry on several occasions when Lucius is insulted in her presence. I do think she is markedly more protective of Draco, much quicker to speak up in his defense no matter the circumstances, and more concerned with his safety and his interests. You could say that's just due to the different relationship that a parent and child have versus a wife and husband, and while that is undoubtedly part of it, I also tend to think that her love for Draco is perhaps a bit stronger and more uncomplicated than her feelings for Lucius. She likes Lucius, and she cares about him. But I'm not sure it's a great love for the ages.

Especially in the later books when she has to step out of her traditional pureblood wife role I think perhaps she starts to find him a bit lacking and her respect for him diminishes a bit. I think they are both changed by the war. She draws on skills and fortitude she never knew she had. And in contrast he becomes diminished, unable to navigate the complex and dire situation he has unintentionally condemned his family to, and too overwhelmed and afraid to truly try. For example in the beginning of book 7 it is she who is able to discern how they should react and who has to take charge of the situation. It is she who is looking out for her family, with little support from Lucius who seems mostly concerned with looking inwards. (Admittedly Lucius has the most to worry about since Voldemort's anger is especially focused on him.) This may leave Narcissa feeling isolated and frustrated and make her respect Lucius less than she once did.

I think Draco takes after his mother a lot more than his father - especially in terms of his magical skill, his aptitude for occlumency, his resourcefulness and creativity. And I think he's more appreciated by his mother. Lucius always struck me as a bit colder towards Draco - willing to send him far away to Durmstrang till Narcissa intervened and publicly humiliating him in book 2 etc. I think perhaps part of Lucius's affection for Draco is more for the idea of him as the Malfoy heir than as an actual person. And I'm sure Lucius is disgusted by Draco's lack of stomach for true violence or cruelty. After all, Lucius's idea of a good time is getting drunk and engaging in a bit of muggle torture with his mates. This too probably proves a source of tension, especially in the later books.

However, I really can't imagine them with anyone else. I think they are both generally aligned in their world views and attitudes. While the marriage may well have been semi-arranged I think both believed in the process and probably went into the marriage with enthusiasm. And I think they're happy to continue the relationship after the war though I'm not sure either would contemplate dying for the other or anything like that. I also don't think interpretations where Lucius is going around terrorizing his family or beating/torturing/abusing Draco fit with canon. I don't think he would do that. Nor do I think that Narcissa would allow it if he tried.

I think their relationship is flawed - but so are they. A nice little, 'awful people being awful together' ship. And I think iterations of them where they are a bit more lovey dovey with each other than I see them are also a valid reading that has a good basis in canon too.

[yanderes-galore]

I love how you write your yandere alphabets. Can I request one for Minthara from BG3 (romantic please)?

I can try, sure! I haven't been able to play myself... but I did research on overall story and Minthara's personality! I know I'm technically on break, but I wanted to get the BG3 requests done... and I might change my blog status to slow instead as no writing outright has proven to be boring for me -_-"

Yandere Alphabet - Minthara

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Manipulation, Murder, Blood, Kidnapping, Cult mentions, Intimidation mentioned, Slight sadism, Punishments, Restraints, Punishment, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Minthara is cruel, but she feels morally gray... perhaps even mislead due to the Mindflayer Cult. She has killed before as she felt it was what needed to be done. Minthara has a superiority complex as a Drow noble and dislikes the weak.

She uses violence, deception, and cruelty to get what she wants. She's observant of those around her. Despite her nature as a Drow... she'd care for her darling in her own way.

In terms of affection, it's a bit sparse. She can be intimidating but doesn't like the idea of outright harming you for no reason. She comes off as intense... yet knows when to give her beloved physical/verbal affection.

She likes to control her darling but doesn't intend to show them mindless sadism essentially.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Minthara has killed many, violence is also expected of Drow. Safe to say if she feels it will control you or protect you... she'll spill the blood of others. For her, cruelty must have a reason for being done. You're a good enough reason for her.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I have a feeling if Minthara abducted you she'd be mocking at times. Yet she doesn't believe in harming you without purpose. The reason she abducted you was most likely because you caught her eye... and if she's part of the cult still then she needs to find some poor souls to convert.

Despite her intimidating and cruel nature... you can tell she's taken a liking to you. She has a hard time with compassion but promises not to harm you unless she has to. But soon she casts aside her feelings against compassion when the urge to show you affection starts to develop due to her obsession.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Most likely, yes. She's a yandere who likes power towards her darling. Making you comply with her wishes seems like her.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Minthara isn't a very vulnerable character at times. Although, when she begins to give into her obsession more... she does show some desperation towards you.

So she does have some care... but struggles to show softer feelings, especially if you are not a Drow and are used to a softer kind of love.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused if not a little irritated. She likes that you won't submit easily and respects that... but overall she prefers to keep control over you.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not really and she'd show irritation as your attempts at escape. But part of her still adores the fight you have.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Kidnapping and cult conversion if she is still part of it. That or punishments since she can be ruthless if you disobey.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

When it comes to her, maybe to make you a spouse she can control. She'll have you return home with her and give you the affections she knows you want. But she knows that will take time.

Yes, if I'm correct Minthara is known to be jealous at times. She may lash out about it or carefully try to manipulate you to get what she wants.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Controlling, Manipulative, Intimidating, Cold, Ruthless, yet still Caring and Affectionate once she gives into her obsession and makes you hers.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

I assume she originally kidnapped you for various reasons. Yet over time she began to feel something towards you. At first she's in denial... but the thought is so tempting.

Perhaps she should court you...

She needs to court you and make you hers.

Not really, but she's more affectionate and open with you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

I imagine punishments would be the time Minthara gets a bit more cruel with you. Perhaps she makes your skin bleed with a blade, restrains you so you have to rely on her... any punishment that makes her feel she has control over you essentially.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Probably as many as she wants.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Surprisingly Minthara is very patient with you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

She'd have a hard time moving on, especially if she opened herself up to you. She's had many lovers before... but you were the one she was most attached to. She'd hate to see you leave her one way or another... she's desperate to prevent that.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and probably not.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Upbringing, curiosity, something similar to that.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

She's perplexed on what to do for a moment before offering some sort of advice. She's hesitant to comfort you... but eventually gives in and tries.

You may not like it though.

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Not any I can think of, maybe trying to play into her emotions or manipulate her back?

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not if she doesn't have to.

Not a worship yandere but would definitely kill anyone who takes you from her.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Doesn't pine for very long, since she probably met you either in battle or abduction.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

She may, yeah. But she prefers you to have some fight.

[lostiolite]

Saw you liked dangerous fellows and are accepting requests, I was wondering if you could write headcannons for all the characters? Maybe include how they act the first time you meet in comparison to how they are after getting close with them. What they're like with physical affection, holding hands, kissing cuddling etc. Whatever you can think of about a headcannon basically. You don't have to but I'd also love if you could include other characters like Judy, Sue, Jae and Scarlett! (If you think she's redeemable 💀) Thank you so much! <3

so i didnt due jay or hailely but anyways yeah! sorry for taking FOREVR

and its not proof read because i am not proof reading 3.0k words on a laggy laptop

LAWRENCE  

He's interesting, a knight in shinnng armor with some… things going on. I don't think he’d change much over the course of your relationship. He is down for anything because it's you. 

He's kind, calm, and very attentive. He notices things about you that you don't even realize. He always seems to pop in at the most convenient moments. This has to do with the fact that he's extremely over protective and territorial of you. He doesn’t let  it show early on though. 

After you get close and kind of stuck with him is when he shows his much more overbearing side. Hes like a sick guard dog that scares anyone away. Anyone who steals your attention, female or male, platonic. especially romantic he doesn’t like. He gets jealous, like crazy jealous. Hes insane, he holds your worth over his own family (cannon), but that doesn’t mean he isnt above hurting you. Thank god it wont ever come to that though. Both in cannon, because its too dangerous and the lack of profesionall medical tools could mean the msallest injury could be fatal. And in a no zombie au because, well the law. Korea is the land of cctv afterall, his ass would get caught. 

Overall, hes very helpful. Hes always down to listen to you. To him, your voice and love is a cure to even his darkest thoughts. Hes very genuine in his love with you too. He wont hesitate to compliment you or give you a little kiss here or there or everywhere. He loves holding hands, kissing and cuddling. He wants to be with you, be you and be your savior. He loves you genuinely with all his heart. He could be stuck an eternity with you and you alone and he would be happy for said eternity. To him, you made all the wrong in life right, and the once dull colors vibrant. He actually enjoys waking up now. He’s a very complex man. I dont think he cares about pda, or public appearances much when you’re inloved. He couldn’t give less of a fuck what everyone else thinks, (he does actually).  I dont think he has much self worth. Its hard to explain. Hes smart, pretty and (probrably) athletic, or physically capible. He knows he the guy girls and even guys swoon over, but he doesn’t really have a personality. His only sense of self worth comes from his academics and what others think of him. Hes begun to find life dull, even so he doesn’t know what else to do. Everyone is snakes so when he meets someone (you) whos genuine he latches on with every bit of his being. You gave him the ability to find his self worth as a human and outside of academics, which also means you hold alot of power against him, even if you dont know yourself. I think he really just needs to learn that you love him for him no matter what. Then his extreme tendencies will lessen abit. As for love language i think he exceeds in all of them, though he may lack in quality time for his busy schedule. Study with him, he would really enjoy it. Even if you aren’t talking, just cuddling or embracing as you do your studies is something really intimate that makes every part of him warm. He could genuielnty get lost in thought looking at you. Will do your hair, doesn’t matter what kind of hair you’ve got. He will research and learn how to take care of it. Again, to him intimate moments like freshly showering and in pj’s is something that makes him so happy he could die. He’s also fine with matching outfits. But I think he likes matching stationary and studying tools more. It makes him smile. Back on the topic of studying, he LOVEs when you ask him questions, it could be a simple “9x9 is 81 RIGHT???” and he’ll smile as he nods. I think once he learns some genuelen self love and respect, he will be awesome. Tbh, i dont think he’d raise his voice in arguments, I think he’d be somewhat condescending. “Oh dont you get it?” “this is for the better”. Lowkey i feel like he’d deflate imeediatley after out of fear that you’d leave. When you move in together i think the highlight of his day will be waking up next to you. Wakes up an extra hour early jsut to cuddle you.

As for children, i could see 2 paths. Genuine love after he learns self respect. Or the Aishi route where he only loves them for being the actual embondiment of the love between you and him. But i like the first idea more so- he does everything his parents couldn't. Tries his best to promote their studies while also giving them love. 

EUGENE

Standoffish, and tsundere. Hes very cautious of people. He has firm boundaries of who he considers friend or foe. That being said he becomes much more attentive and protective (different than Lawrence) to you. He wont let anyone defame you and acts like a worried mother, telling you to dress up for the cold and chastises you for forgetting sick. Kind of like a worried mother. Hes very blunt and sometimes comes off as rude but he genuinely doesn't mean to. 

As for physical affection i feel like hes playfully aggressive. Big fan of hand holding in public. I think he likes to hold your head close to him. Hes a big fan of arcade dates, especially the rhythm game ones. He loves playing crane games even if they are rugged. Will do the cliche thing of winning a gift for you at a carnival / fair but its the cutest thing ever. Forehead kisser 100%. Composes music for you, its a huge way of showing his love for you. Makes playlists and burns cd’s for you and to listen to together. Would love it of you were to return the act. If you play an instrument or sing he would 100% wanna duet. Omg imagine starting a band with him. You don't even have to make the music, you could literally be the artist or music video maker. WOuldn't that be so cute (i cant help but think of niigo) 

Much more understanding of fandom culture and things of the like, so yapping about your fav artists or even characters would be nice because he actually understands most of the internet lingo. Likes all your social media posts and makes stupid silly comments. All your moots/oomfies know who he is because wherever you are, he is aswell.

When hes comforting you, he will usually bash the other party for being the cause of your sadness. He usually insults them and their viewpoints while rubbing your hair. Hes really stubborn, so please be patient with him. Hes trying to get better, because he doesnt want to hurt the person he loves.

ETHAN

Unioricnly, a nice bonding time would be sleeping lolololo. Hes extremely standoffish at the beginning, like usual. But once you get his socials, he becomes much more understandable since hes able to communicate better online through sms. Even though hes a rather dry texter, you slowly learn to understand him more. I dont think he would go out of his way to participate in cheesy coupley stuff. BUt, if you asked him to then he would. I dont think his personality toward you would change much and most people woudnt be able to tell that you are dating but thats honestly for the better because hes generally a more private person. However, just because its not visible doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. WIll put his life on the line for you in a heart beat. And considering his physical strength he will not hesitate to put someone in their place if they tried something on you. 

Despite his muscular figure, hes very cuddly and cozy. I feel like hes a crazy sleeper who sleeps in the wackiest positions. But, he always manages to wrap his arms around you. I feel like he would kiss you on the nose or lips.  Please help him study for all the classes hes slept thoruhg. In return he will do something like “this is for you ___” while hes playing baseball or something. Wether or not he misses it still enamores the people viewing because its so weirdw watching ethan, the usually cool and quiet one proclaim his love for you. On that note his teammates find his subtle change in behaboir cute. Like the way he starts constantly checking his phone during practice to see if he got a text from you. Or the small smile that tugs on his lips informing them that he got a text from you.

I just know he would be horrible at comforting you. Probably just stands there confused. He puts his hand on your shoulder then hugs you because thats all he can do. He will text you later, when his thoughts are much more composed. These messages are  heartfelt because you can tell he put effort into it.

ZION

He teases you with malice at first, like he does with everybody. But once he gets a soft spot the teasing become more endearing and he becomes much more protective of you. If you don't like the teasing he will (try) to stop. Only he can tease you and will get one anyone for teasing you (if it makes you uncomfortable). I dont think hes the biggest fan of PDA, more just things like hand holding and thats it. The nail in the coffin for your relationship is when he becomes vulnurbale and opens up about his past. Hes a big and small spoon tbh. As much as he portrays himself as rash, he is ultimately a big teddy bear. He definitely gives big bear hugs. Definetly just a straight up mouth kisser. Oh yeah he would square up with anyone who tries anything on you. Not to mention hes really rich so he would blacklist them from the neverland parks. Spoils you rotten, makes a while fiasco out of any achievement and throws a big fat fucking party, or if your not a party person just buys something really expensive and makes a big deal out of it. Takes you shopping for clothes and anything you like (like… figurines). I don't think he would be opposed to the idea of ordering custom plushies/figures of the two of you. As for his rich family, they obviously wouldn't be fond of him dating a commoner but he can always marry someone for political gain and just spend his time with his actual partner.

HARRY

Self-depricating and too kind for his good. Hes extremely nice to you as he is everyone at the start so you dont really feel special. Hes the type to be straightforward and as you out. Hes very old fashioned, or tries to be considering his lack of money. Im going to be honest i dont think hes in the best mental state. He would jump off the roof if you asked him too. He feels like a burden to his mother just for existing and will take along time to open up to you. Hes also very manipulatable, due to his lack of selfworth. Hes much more willing to indulge in pda. Afterall why woulnt he showcase his love for you? Doesnt have mch money so his dates usually consist of cheap convenience store runs or hanging out at his work. As self-loathing as he is, would probrabbly be the best partner. He will very much communicate his feelings. Hes very patient with you despite all your flaws. He loves you from the earth and back and would do anything to make you happy. Please get him a violin (im pretty sure he sold it in cannon to pay for bills?). Will play you dozens of love songs and your favoirtes. Shows up with flowers and chocolates on valentines because thats how he is. The very supportive golden retriever boyfriend who will cheer you on no matter what. Hes your best friend and number one fan.

JUDY

Happy trooper! Shes super jolly and just like Harry overly nice to everyone so its hard to tell how much you mean to her specifically. I think she would also be straight forward about confessing but much more nervous and blushing. She starts jumping with joy when you accept. Huge pda fan, will give the biggest fattest fucking smooch to you whereever whenever. Loves cuddling, doesnt care about big or small spoon. Just holding you close is enough for her. Super smily and her demeanor can lift you up in a ,matter of seconds. After getting into a relationship, not much changes other than the blatant kissing. sHe is more real with you and will voice her doubts about things that scare her. shes really good at keeping herself grounded and helping others. Posts you for national bf/gf day and says endearing cheesy things. I cant help but feel like shes silly with text but also unirronicly uses smily faces like an old grandma. 

SUE

Shes similar to lawrence, but like not batshit crazy. She also isnt as playful, espcially when you first meet her. Her treatment towards you will be either one, you dont really care about your studies and act stupid and she kind of just shoves you aside or you are her study buddy or someone she deems respectable. Shes also kind of like a nagging mother but not too a harsh degree. She always takes note of your state and brings you snacks/gifts because they reminded her of you even if she doesnt realize it. She kind of quiet and introverted but i dont really think she minds pda. She doesnt see why she should chare about what others think about her relationship afterall. Though, i dont think she goes out of her way to kiss you in public, she saves it for more intimate or important times. 

If i can recall correctly she was part of student council so trust she will be using that to her advantage if anyone tries to bother you. I think spending time with her is fun especially because she probably helps with school events so you two always have something fun to do. Afterall whats better than helping out at a fair and also getting to go on a date at the same time. Dating Sue has a ton of perks because (especailly if you were already a goodie-two shoes thats liked by teachers) teachers will be way more lenient of you. Practically letting you guys do things that the other kids cant do. Shes definitely big spoon and is surprising really cozy. I think fur coats would look nice on her so hugging her in the winter is definitely a plus. 

SCARLETT

Shes a hard one to get along with. Her abrasive attitude doesnt really change much and its really hard for you to tell when she starts to like you because again, her attitude doesnt change. Its smaller things like her worrying about you under the gaze of simply being curious. If your oblivious or just dont catch on to her, it will just eventually get to a point where she aporaches you, asks you out and demands an answer. Definitely a big pda person, and flaunts you around like “heh! Yea this is MY partner. Goes or drags you on shopping dates. Not only does she dress up but she dresses you up and she has a really great eye for fashion. Its very clear that shes the “bratty princess” characatchure.

Anyways i think she would have a fun time setting up a home date for the two of you, like doing your nails as you two listen to a tv drama channel or just gossip. Very iconic couple and gf 10/10. I think she would switch between big and little spoon, she doesnt have a solid preference, its more of a spur of the moment feeling for her. Kisses you with lipstick and takes photos.

[the-night-that-feeds-if]

Hey everyone, dunno how long this might be, kind of doing a stream of consciousness style ramble about TNTF and me and stuff :)

alright so, tntf is getting a huge rework, this is my first if game ever, the coding is a little overwhelming, i know it’s fairly simple but it’s A LOT.

the reason i’ve been pretty quiet is mostly due to burnout, as some of you know i have health issues, i have crohns disease, i’m also autistic with adhd—something i love about this community is the understanding and acceptance for people/authors like me who may want to write but are just too stuck to be able to do it.

i know everyone is so jazzed for the next update, and i am too, there’s a few changes i’m making in regards to the technical aspects of the story, i’m removing stats, for the MC and for relationships. part of it is… i’m not a numbers person, trying to balance out the stats going up and down is a pain when this is planned to be a pretty damn long story. i also just don’t like it for my story personally, i don’t want you, as the player to feel like you have to game-ify personality or relationships.

this also opens the option for me to write more player responses to situations without having all of that annoying code in my brain~ MORE FLAVOR!

My writing has also vastly improved when it comes to fiction, a lot because i have been practicing so much while i’ve been sick (i’ve been playing with and writing AI chatbots on Janitor.AI, learning how to create a complex and realistic personality, an engaging character and world.) It’s been useful as a stress reliever and as a tool to help me write better, more descriptive etc.

on that note, smut in my game is also a very yes, i feel much more comfortable writing it now… heh.

i’ve also decided that all of my books are going to remain free, tntf was a planned three book series, it may just be one or two HUGE books, we’re going to have to see what i, and twine are capable of. but the story is going to span four countries and two continents of the world, so yeah.

the new rewrite is also going to slow things down considerably, because now we’ll have MC on a ship for four months as the intro, then meeting maddock and spending <insert amount of time here> with him while traveling to that little inn. it also gives me more room to introduce the characters a lot earlier but in their own POVs and not just while they’re with MC. i want the world to feel alive.

my decision to make and keep tntf free is because i want to.

i would not appreciate minors interacting with my content, but i also grew up with the internet, i know that no matter how much prevention we put in, minors are going to access our content regardless if it’s free or not. i just ask that if you are a minor and reading adult fiction, please don’t comment, dm or whatever, this is for your safety in the community as well as, i don’t want to deal with other people’s children on the internet, it’s nothing against any of ya’ll, you’re awesome, children are great but i’m almost 26, i really don’t want to deal with kids in what’s pretty much an adult space (i haven’t really seen books catered to the younger than 18 crowd, but like i’m saying, i’m more interested in forging connections with the adult community here, considering i am one, lmao *bats children away with pool noodles*)

i think that’s it

i might post more stuff but that’s my general direction

also to the asks in my inbox from last year on my birthday and forward… I READ THEM ALL AND APPRECIATE EVERY WELL WISH AND FEEDBACK, GENUINELY. i’m just bad at social media.

[assblastergaster]

the way jayvik fans are ignoring the entire plot of the show to raise up their ship is so…i thought tumblr was being dramatic when they said yaoi shippers will just ignore any women and plot just to prop up their own desires.

like let’s not be deluded a lot of people emphasized caitvi a little too much—to the point they ignored the story—but that was nothing compared to this. like, i get it, they’re two hotties with a beautiful, complex narrative surrounding them and tying them to their world and each other. but if a romantic or sexual relationship was a part of that, there’s no way in helllll fortiche or the writers would’ve maintained their status as “just” best friends and brothers. (which also ignores how deep and beautiful a bond between best friends, siblings, partners can be)

i know some people might not remember it but i remember in 2021 there was a slight whisper from some people, especially on reddit, who were annoyed that the show focused so much on women’s relationships (sisters, girlfriends, daughters) and not men’s; obviously these people missed the point in an entirely different direction but they’re on the same starting track as the jayvik romance phenomenon. jayce and viktor are as much vander and silco as they are themselves. they are vi and jinx. they are brothers by bond, not by blood (though eventually they are by the blood they spill). they are the third telling of this all important story between siblings, the third outcome. vander and silco could not handle what they wrought and eventually killed each other. vi and jinx could not handle what they had done and had to separate themselves completely lest they be stuck in a constant drowning battle. jayce and viktor couldn’t fix what they had done and thus had to work together to destroy it, as they had to cause it. notably: these latter two outcomes reflect the overall trajectory of the show. vander and silco (united by ideals) could not forgive themselves or each other, even for their goal to save the world. jinx and vi (united by blood) and jayce and viktor (united by discovery) learned from themselves, from each other, that they have to forgive in order to do what’s ultimately needed.

also—something i’ve seen NOBODY mention is Skye. Skye is honestly so important to viktor’s arc and nobody seems to remember or care. she has been accused of being one of arcane’s few flaws, being a victim of “fridging.” in some ways, this is absolutely true. she was just a random female character introduced to make viktor feel bad—but that’s kind of the point. viktor’s newfound hatred (end of s1) of the hex core comes because he realizes that his arrogance and desperation have lead him to kill someone he never got to know on a deeper level (indicated by him learning more about her from her diagrams than he has the whole time). he is furious that he let that happen, that it took an innocent life to be lost forever just to spur him to realize the error of his ways. it why he wanted to be left to die naturally. her inclusion in the brief time where viktor was “ascended” but not yet gloriously evolved, was some of the points at which viktor seemed happiest. we didn’t get to see much of them—which is sad—but their constant interactions and her looming presence whenever he was shown in his astral state confirmed how much he regrets losing her. this does NOT mean they are a romantic item, though to some it may, but it does mean that viktor’s care and character growth/change for others is being unfairly sidestepped in favor of a ship. she even goes so far to say that “no, you won’t” when he says he’ll miss their talks—implying either that she was the first to acknowledge that he was not going to be the viktor she knew, or that she knew that the same arrogance in him now was in him when she was alive (and that he cared about nothing but himself).

this is not even to mention that this also completely sidelined Mel, who does eventually move on due to reasons outside either her or jayce’s control, was still his lover and confidant for a long time. her arc informs his as does he, hers. her growth into her powers while he shies away from unknown magic is a reflection of their season 1 selves, where jayce embraces his newfound inventiveness and influence while she fears her what she knows her mother will do. mel being routinely ignored is due in no small part, im sure, by misogyny and racism—but she is just as much a main character as they are (game notwithstanding).

now i’m not saying this to be a jayvik hater. myself? i love caitvi, probably more than i should have above base appreciation of their worth to the narrative, so i get it. this doesn’t mean i think jayvik is bad inherently—but lofting it above all else is annoying. the romances of arcane are sooo beautiful and complex but they’re only a part of what the story is trying to tell you, so a manufactured relationship that supersedes all is counterintuitive.

[lykegenia]

So something has been bugging me for a while now about A and N’s backstories, and while I know not everyone will be as pedantic as me, as someone who loves history and has done a lot of writing, I feel that if you’re going to write a story about vampires and give them a specific time and date of origin, then there should be a certain level of research that goes into making that background authentic. I'm not saying that Mishka didn’t do any research. It just seems that in order to keep the vibe of a happy, mellow fantasy some of the less savoury aspects of A and N’s upbringings have been left out, and it's a shame. To be honest, it feels a bit disingenuous, and it feels like an opportunity got wasted.

Let me explain (long post got long, it's 2am)

Let's take A first, since the problem is simpler here.

A is the child of a Norman lord and an Anglo-Saxon noblewoman, born in the first generation after the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. A says that these were turbulent times but that their parents had a happy marriage. Which. While I’m sure a lot of unions in that time period made the best of it, I can’t help but feel this description strips away a lot of the context of what was going on at that point in history - and removes some of the complexity about A’s thoughts on love and relationships.

Basically, after he took control of the throne, William the Conqueror stripped many Anglo-Saxon lords of their lands and titles so he could give them to his Norman buddies instead - with the added bonus that it left the Anglo-Saxons without the means to raise armies against him. The sisters, daughters, and widows of the dispossessed Anglo-Saxons were then forced to marry these new Norman lords to legitimise their power, not infrequently after all of their male relatives had been slaughtered. It’s not as if Anglo-Saxon women weren’t used to being used as political chess pieces, but the years after the conquest were brutal. It’s why William had to build so many castles. The point that I’m trying to make is that even if A’s mother was content enough in her daily life, due to the power imbalance between her and her husband, it's very likely she had little choice in the matter. She may have seen a lot of her family killed for political reasons, with the knowledge that – in an age where women had very little protection outside of their paternal household – she might be next if she made too much of a fuss.

It would be fascinating to see what effect that tension has had on A 900 years later, or even to get an acknowledgement of how much times have changed, but we don’t. We don't see how their early years affected them, how they view relationships formed naturally instead of via political contracts. And I really, really wish we did. There is so much potential there.

But A is not the one keeping me up past 2 in the morning. It’s N, and the utter detachment their backstory seems to have from the period in history they lived in as a human. And it all stems from the fact that they came from the English nobility in the late 1600s.

See, the bulk of the problem is that English inheritance law at the time heavily favoured primogeniture, where a man’s wealth would go to his first-born son. Some dispensation was made for widows and other children, but the estates, assets, and most of the money had a very clear destination.

For one thing, this makes it kinda weird that N’s stepfather would have needed an heir before he could inherit, because except in extreme circumstances everything would have gone to him anyway. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the worst part of the problem, it’s just annoying when there are more plausible reasons for him marrying a woman already pregnant with another man’s child (old family friend wanting to save her from disgrace, needed the dowry to pay off gambling debts, there was a longstanding betrothal between them that would have been tricky to get out of, etc.).

No, the bigger problem with N’s backstory vs primogeniture is firstly that at the time the English aristocracy was racist af (still is tbh) and given his pretty obvious mixed-race heritage, no court would have agreed that Nate was a legitimate son (this is for a very special reason that we will be coming back to). I say Nate specifically here because primogeniture requires the eldest legitimate son. Nat wouldn’t have inherited at all, as women in that period passed from the guardianship of their father (or other male blood relative) into that of their husband after marriage, and only gained any kind of independence with widowhood. If N had been an only child, maybe they would have been treated as a special case, but unfortunately Milton exists: the eldest legitimate son who by law will inherit everything.

Now here’s the thing. Your average aristocrat in the 17th century is very obsessed with lineage and keeping the family line unbroken. He would not, therefore, send his legitimate heir to sea to be shot at or drowned before he can carry on the family name – that joy instead goes to any other sons who need their own profession, because again, they will get very little. Nat would have had a dowry, but would never have been expected to make her own living, so I'm going to focuson Nate for this next bit.

In Book 3, if you unlock his tragic backstory Nate tells you he joined the Royal Navy after Milton went missing so that he could go look for him. And, well. This is where his backstory as Mishka tells it completely falls apart. For two reasons:

1. Even in the modern day, you can’t ‘just’ join the Navy, and you certainly can’t just jump straight to being a lieutenant – it takes years of training and after a certain age they won’t take you because they won’t be able to mould you easily enough into a useful tool. For most of the Navy's history, the process was even more involved. It wasn’t an office job you could just rock up to and then quit if you felt like it, it was a lifetime commitment. Boys destined to be officers would be sent to sea as early as 12 to learn shipboard life, starting at the bottom and moving up the ranks. These were gained by passing exams and by purchasing a commission – which is why you generally had to come from wealth to be an officer at all. Once you get to lieutenant you're responsible for a lot of people, and might be tasked with commanding any captured ships alongside the daily running of yours - it was not an easy job.

2. Even as a lieutenant (one rank below Captain, with varying levels of seniority) it’s not like you can just go where you want. In the 1720s British colonies already existed in India, the Caribbean, and up the entire eastern seaboard of North America and into Canada, and the Navy was tasked with protecting merchant shipping along these seaways (and one trade in particular that we’ll be getting to, don’t worry). Nate could have ended up practically anywhere in the burgeoning empire. He would not have been able to choose whom he served under, and would not have been able to demand his superior officer go against orders from the admirality to chase down one lone vessel because he thinks another one of the admirals might be a bit dodgy. It could not have happened.

Besides these impracticalities, there’s a far easier way for the child of a wealthy man to get to a specific point on the far side of the globe to look for their lost sibling, which is the route I assume Nat took sine she couldn’t have joined the Navy (yes she could have snuck in but she’s specifically in a dress in the B2 mirror scene so). All they'd have to do would be to charter a ship and tell the captain where to go, which is the plot of Treasure Island. It's quicker, less fuss, with less chance of things going wrong. It's even possible in the age of mercantilism that the Sewells had some merchant vessels among their holdings that could be diverted for the task. Why go through the hassle of joining the Navy and potentially ending up on the wrong side of the world when you can just hire a ship directly?

If Nate does have to be in the Navy (and let’s face it, it’s worth it just for the uniform) then it's far more plausible is that, as the illegitimate son who would not inherit because of racism etc, he got sent to the Navy as a boy and rose through the ranks to become a lieutenant. When he got news of Milton’s disappearance not far from where he was stationed, he begged his captain to go investigate in case whatever happened turned out to be the symptom of a bigger problem. Like pirates.

I like this version better not just because it makes more sense, or because it keeps Nate’s situation re: inheritance closer to Nat’s and therefore makes their stories more equal, but also because it adds a delicious amount of guilt to Nate’s need to find his brother. We know his entire crew died looking for answers, because he was selfish – that’s roughly 100-400 lives lost because of him, and we know that sort of thing eats at him.

So that's one side of the story, but if Milton wasn’t in the Navy, what was he doing on the other side of the Atlantic in the first place? Well, this is where we come to the biggest elephant in the room regarding N’s backstory as a member of the 17th century English aristocracy and potentially as a naval officer: the Atlantic Slave Trade. If you are wealthy in 17th century Britain it's more than likely that your wealth comes either from the trade itself, or from the products made with the labour of enslaved people. If you are wealthy, you want to protect your assets from attack by pirates or foreign powers so you don't become less wealthy, and that is what the Navy is for.

Regardless of N’s own views on slavery at the time – and any subsequent changes in opinion – it’s likely their family owned or had shares in slave plantations in the Americas. As distasteful as it is, it makes far more sense that Milton was on a trip to check the family’s holdings when his ship - specifically a merchant vessel - went missing. From a pirate perspective, a merchant ship would make a much better target than a Navy vessel, being slower, more likely to have valuable cargo, and less likely to have marines or a well-trained broadside.

It's not surprising that Mishka left out the subject of the slave trade given her tendency to skirt around darker subjects and general blindspot for racial politics, but it is nuance that, if it was there, would create a more grounded and coherent backstory for N that doesn’t have quite so many holes. Like with A being the child of an invader and his war bride, we could get some deeper thoughts from N about their place in the world - How do they feel to have grown up so privileged when others who looked like them were regarded as literal property? How did they feel being part of the system that made it happen? Did it inform their compassionate nature? Is it still a source of guilt or someithng they've tried to make up for?

I'm not sure where I was going with all of this. It's late, my sleep pattern is fucked. The tl;dr is that giving the vampires' backstories historical context would make them feel more multifaceted and would give opportunities for character growth that are instead missed because of a desire for a more sanitized version of the past.

[starryalpacasstuff]

LITBC Episodes 1 and 2; Differences in Mediums

I finally watched the first two episodes of litbc, and I am absolutely in awe. This show is doing a brilliant job at presenting the story in a way that remains authentic to the themes and storyline of the book but at the same time bringing in a new perspective that gives us a new take on the story. This is a perfect example of what an adaptation should be like; true to the story but also bringing something new unique to the different medium.

The third question the book club discussion post brought up actually happened to be one of the foremost things on my mind while I was watching the first two eps. How does the broader lens of the show affect our perception, as the audience, of the characters in Go Young's life? My initial impression was that the show was...kinder to the characters than the book was, in particular Nam Gyu and Mi Ae. But I've come to think that, rather than the show being the kinder one, it's simply a difference of perspective. In the book, a majority of our understanding of the events comes from Young, who has strong opinions and a cynical worldview. K3 is barely mentioned and is presented to us as the kind of person Young views him as; overbearing, dramatic, and in the end, entirely unimportant. With the show, we're able to see things from Nam Gyu's perspective a little and understand him more. Similarly, in the book we're only able to see Jaehee from Young's perspective and feel a similar sense of betrayal as he does, while the show, by allowing us to see the actual confrontation between Mi Ae and her boyfriend, helps us feel more empathy for her. I think that the show allows us to learn more about Go Young by developing the characters of the people he interacts with—his interactions with them tell us more about him because we know more about them.

I think an appropriate parallel to draw here would be the difference between a friend ranting to you about a horrible person in their lives that you know practically nothing about—in which you're honor bound to vehemently agree and join in on the bitching—and watching your friend have issues with a person you are better acquainted with—wherein you're far more likely to act as more of a mediator and try to get your friend to calm the fuck down.

I also think it's worth noting that at the end of the first two episodes, Mi Ae and Go Young seem far more friendly than Jaehee and Young; most noticeably due to the lack of Young's bitter internal monologue. I'm fairly certain that even in this iteration, Go Young's feelings aren't all that different, the difference lies in the perspective of the show, which is far less intimate with Go Young than the book.

While the book club was still running, I wrote a little about Jaehee here, in particular about her being an ally, her acceptance of Young, and her failure to understand him. But I think the show made it clearer that this failure to understand the other person went both ways. I think a few people had pointed this out last time, but the show made it far more clear; though Mi Ae and Go Young were close, their friendship was based largely on their shared experiences as outcasts and their similarities, and they rarely ever discussed anything deeper about themselves. The show makes this quite explicit with Mi Ae pointedly refusing to talk about her mother and Young simply never bringing his up with her. So, it was to be expected Mi Ae beginning to conform more to society's expectations would drive a wedge in their relationship. The show also makes it abundantly clear that Mi Ae drifting away from Go Young was a major factor in him being enraged at her when she confessed to having outed him—to him, it was something like the final nail in the coffin, proof that Mi Ae had changed.

I'm really enjoying the way this show is enriching our understanding of not only Go Young but also the other characters of the story; allowing us even more insight into these incredibly complex characters. I'm also quite excited to see the way the different directors will impact the episodes and what the entire show will be like as a collective—something to thing about next week.

[doyou000me]

Love In The Big City series adaptation: Episodes 3 & 4

On Knowing The Story and Characters (and their trash) Beforehand

CW: homophobia and attempted suicide 

I am late in writing this (@lurkingshan I’m sorry if it’s any extra trouble) but… it took a while before I managed to get through episode 4. This week was heavy. I cried. Episode 3 and 4 hit hard, and deep, and I am so very grateful that I read the book beforehand. Even going in prepared, knowing more or less what’s to come, I wasn’t prepared enough. How do you watch this, you who have not read the book and cannot brace for impact? 

After watching episode 3, I thought I was going to write quite a light hearted reflection this week. I took notes on the characters, especially Hyeong/Young-Soo and Eomma/Go Young’s mom, and I thought I was going to write about how we who have read the book are able to see through these characters’ bullshit from the very beginning. I was going to ask how they come across to the viewers of the series who haven’t read the book, and wonder how different our understandings of events and characters turn out. 

Then I watched episode 4, and it derailed everything. 

As much as the prior knowledge of having read the book allowed me to brace for impact at times, I also believe it gave a deeper understanding of what’s going on below the surface - and that makes some scenes, some lines of dialogue, cut all the deeper. 

The focus of episodes 3 and 4 is, to a large extent, homophobia and the fear of how others will judge us. 

We have the mother, who is religious and makes her every move to look good in the eyes of her fellow church goers and God - but I get the impression that the judgement of those around her is what she fears the most. She fights against judgement when her husband, Go Young’s father, cheats on her. She works hard to become successful and prove herself. She sends her teenage son to conversion therapy. She doesn’t wish to meet the person that her son sees as most important in his life, because she doesn’t want to face the fact that, after everything, there is nothing she can do to change the fact that her son is gay. 

Then we have Young-soo, simply called Hyeong in the book. He is a deeply complex character with many layers, and we dug deeper into him after reading part 2 of the book. Long story short, due to his past, he has a very complicated relationship with western influences, religion—and his own sexuality. It all boils down to a deeply rooted homophobia that not only affects himself negatively, but seeps out of him in a toxic poison of mixed signals and harmful actions. 

Between them, we have Go Young. Go Young, who has graduated, has lost his deeper, more meaningful relationships where he was safe and accepted, is struggling to make a place for himself as an author, is forced into a role as carer for his ungrateful mother, and is trying to live his life true to himself as an out and proud gay man. 

Go Young is in a position in life where he needs someone by his side. He needs someone who can support him, help him, share his burden and shine some light in the darkness. He seeks purpose, meaning, understanding—and finds Young-soo Hyeong. 

In the beginning, in spite of all the bullshit he spouts, he gives off an aura of being someone who has a deeper understanding of life—or, perhaps more importantly, he’s handsome, fit, and (once they get to that point) good at sex. In spite of all the mixed signals, Go Young can’t stay away. 

But the more we as viewers learn about Young-soo along with Young, we understand that there is no deeper understanding of the universe and meaning of life. There is little difference between Young-soo and Young’s mother, in that they are both unable to see Young for who he really is. Instead, they see the version of him that they are willing to tolerate, while constantly (more or less actively) working to change him and put him on a course to an “acceptable” life. 

Throughout episode 3 and primarily episode 4, we see how this wears on Go Young and it finally becomes too much when Young-soo denies that there was ever any love between them. We see Go Young come home, and in the harsh light of the kitchen lamp, he makes himself an ice coffee. With efficient movements, he gets the ice from the fridge, then goes to find the pills. Swallowing them down with his coffee drink, he takes pill, after pill, after pill–

And black. 

This scene plays out similarly, if not exactly the same, in the book. His mother’s words, when he wakes up in the ICU, are the same: 

“Don’t try so hard. We all die someday, anyway.” 

These are the first words from a mother when her son wakes up after a suicide attempt. There is no happiness, no relief, no reassurance, in those words. There is no welcome back, no thank God you survived and there is no why would you do such a thing? And Go Young, strapped to the machine, just stares at her blankly, his eyes dry and expressionless, because he has given up and expects nothing else. 

The ones who do welcome him back, who are overjoyed at seeing him awake and remind him that he is loved and that there are reasons to live, are his gay friends. The T-aras are shut out of the room, on the other side of a glass. They’re not allowed to be there, and in the book, they aren’t there—but I am very grateful that the adaptation added them as a hint of light after such a heavy episode. 

It is thanks to them that Go Young finally cried and finally decided to move again. 

Similar to the book, we get a time skip. Young has moved on. He has aged. He still cares for his dying mother, but while the hurt isn’t gone, he knows now not to expect anything from her. And when his own manuscript gets sent to him, full with corrections that Young-soo has made in red pen in an attempt to correct the story of Go Young’s own life, Go Young throws it in the trash. 

“It is not my trash.” 

So move on. Get rid of the trash. Be weary of the trash that others carry with them, and do not make it your own. 

Even if that trash is homophobia, put it where it belongs. 

[aloevhello]

Why Did Miguel Cheat, Making Some Tweaks to the Plot Line, and Remembering Your History

Something interesting about Miguel and Dana’s infidelity is how the hurt they inflicted upon Xina and Gabriel differed due to the extent of their personal history with them. Dana is definitely in the wrong for cheating on Gabriel with his brother and for flirting with Miguel while knowing he was in a relationship with Xina. However, Dana was mostly a stranger to the group when she decided to be unfaithful, thus causing Gabriel and Xina to feel less impacted by her betrayal as they had less history with her.

Miguel, on the other hand, has an extensive history with the two as Gabriel is the little brother he protected from their abusive father and Xina is the childhood friend/crush who protected him from school bullies and later became his girlfriend. Compare this with his relationship with Dana, a girl he got engaged to after having known her for a year and learning that she has a sister only after she died.

Considering these differences, Miguel’s betrayal is much more painful for Xina and Gabriel due to their personal history and him never exhibiting any signs that he would hurt them before. So one must ask, why? Why did Miguel cheat? Why did Miguel essentially choose a stranger over the two most important people in his life?

The comics tried giving some insight into Miguel’s infidelity in issue #37 by showing how the affair between him and Dana first started. However, through this explanation, two issues arise. For one, the comic explains Miguel’s distancing from Xina due to her alcohol problems (something she was never shown to have prior or after this issue). If the narrative’s means of explaining the protagonist’s failings is by mischaracterizing another character, the same character they’ll end up hurting, then it’s a pretty poor explanation.

Another issue is how the comic shows that Miguel fell in love with Dana at first sight (despite already knowing that Dana is Gabriel’s girlfriend), which explains why they both happen to “click” and were willing to have the affair. While the narrative addresses that this explanation is shallow, it doesn’t change how this remains the primary motive for why Miguel had the affair despite knowing how much he could lose as a result. Ultimately, the comic portraying this “clicked” narrative as the main reason why such a critical event in sm2099 occurred makes this arc less compelling and reduces Miguel’s complexity.

However, one detail from this arc that could set a better foundation for the cheating plot line is shown in the above panel where Dana is impressed by Miguel’s geneticist work for Alchemax. Granted, issue #22 shows Xina being supportive of Miguel around this time period when she helped him move into his new apartment that is owned by Alchemax, despite her dislike of the company. What if the comics had more flashbacks where Xina criticizes Miguel for joining a company they both know is unethical and Miguel getting defensive by saying her views are moral but not realistic, thus creating a rift in their relationship?

This conflict about Miguel’s job creating their rift works better because instead of relying on mischaracterization and happenstance, this explanation is based on a pre-established dynamic between these characters with Xina pushing for Miguel to the right thing and Miguel being too scared to do so. The conflict also highlights PAD’s sentiments about how Miguel felt “threatened” by Xina being his intellectual equal since it allowed her to get on his level and call out his behavior (above). Additionally, there could also be flashbacks of Gabriel criticizing Miguel for joining Alchemax (not for the same reasons as Xina since he didn’t learn about Alchemax’s inequities until he met Kasey) because this could mean Miguel is following the same path as their abusive father, George, who also worked for that company. With Miguel facing constant scrutiny from his loved ones and him being too scared to follow his conscience, he ends up being attracted to Dana because despite them not having any personal history, she becomes the only person who admires the work he does for Alchemax and does not challenge his behavior, consequently leading to Miguel having the affair and losing the two most important people in his life.

Parting Thoughts:

It’s also important to remember that Xina and Gabriel are important to Miguel’s life because they knew him when he was a vulnerable kid who was pushed around by his father and bullies, a stark contrast from the arrogant genius hotshot that Dana knows. However, with Miguel choosing to be with Dana, he’s leaving Xina, Gabriel, and that vulnerable version of himself in the past to make way for the stronger, idealized version of Miguel that he believes will exist through his job and intellect. In a way, this parallels Nueva York’s history, particularly how Alchemax shrouds the city’s history in secrecy to hide their contribution to the city’s inequality and continue posing Nueva York as a utopian society. However, with Miguel and Nueva York lacking a connection to their history, they will strive for idealized versions of themselves that lack the foundation to actually materialize.

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

hey iit's me again! (can i be your 🌼 anon?)

Thoughts on yan!CEO with caretaker reader who is looking after his sick father (home service i dunno what's it called) and she does some little chores here and there casually. Yan!CEO is so used to seeing her around his mansion that it starts to feel natural along with his father pressuring him to get married because the father thinks he's nearing his end. So when the father really dies tragically (bcoz ✨taruma✨) he only sees reader as his salvation and he convinced that she'd look after him even though she didn't do anything significant with lot of effort.

Yandere! Hospital Chairperson x Caretaker! Reader

OOH MY FIRST ANON! Hi :3

Btw, forgive me, the CEO thing will be changed into something other than, well, CEO. My yandere! CEO is already taken! But, with the help of my friend, we got to a little discussion, and decided on a Hospital Chairperson. Why? You'll see hehe

Yandere! Hospital Chairperson name: Xavier

It's always Xavier.

"Xavier, can you write up the last patient's records?"

"Xavier, please do the time of death."

"Xavier, fetch the files for me please."

It's like he's being worked around like a horse around the hospital.

He has to run up and down the building, right to left on this huge private hospital. Sure, he was a newbie, a fresh graduate from medschool, but did these people had to work him to the bone?

It was almost abusive, the lot of them.

"Father, it's so hard..."

He would usually complain to his father who was the hospital chairperson.

His father laughed lightheartedly before giving a few loving pats on the head. Xavier gripped the handkerchief in his hand.

"it's because they rely on you, Xavier. You're very strong and independent, yet kind and understanding. You are very dependable."

Xavier wanted to protest, that he knew his father was the one to order for him to be ordered around like that, but he pursed his lips.

Xavier Signet. The heir to the hospital conglomerate that is his father. Ever since his mother died, his father did his best to raise him to be a well mannered man despite being absent most of the time due to his job. His father made sure to teach him good manners, to have great academics, and to not be spoiled and always appreciate hard work.

Hard work was something not unfamiliar with the Signets, they were new money after all. From a humble clinic to something as well renowned as the Signet group of Medical Facilities. They were medical practitioners to a tee, and valued other people's lives more than their own.

Xavier gritted his teeth as he held down the fountain of profanities and complaints as his father waved goodbye to him.

Nevermind the handkerchief in his hands, spots of blood in it, a sign on Xavier overworking himself too much.

What his father didn't know is that Xavier is not the angel he thinks he is. His superiority complex that borders on God complex made him boil inside with defiance and insults as he took every single work his higher ups throw at him.

He wanted them dead. So much.

But he can't.

Yet.

Fast forward five years later, and his father lied on the bed, sick and weak.

Xavier bit his tongue while holding his father's cold, wrinkly hand. It was so rough and dry. Obvious from the years of hardwork and patients he had to go through.

"Dad..." Xavier whispered. "You know you can't move already, so please. Let me hire a caretaker for you."

His father coughed, love brimming his eyes for his son.

Xavier matured into a well endowed person. One who was steadfast and an amazing leader, but also a great listener. He's the perfect man for the chairperson seat.

"Alright. You can hire one, son." Ever the fool for his offspring, he nodded.

Xavier hired you, a seemingly gentle and sweet soul, someone who knew how to take care of an elderly.

At first, Xavier was only curt with you. Professional, at most.

He was so busy with his work that most of the time, his relationship with you slips his mind.

It made him open up to you sometimes, while he drank his scotch.

"ah... Those bastards. Really? They want to siphon more money from our patients? Are they out of their mind? Isn't it enough that they stomp on the new residents, but also the patients."

You furrowed your eyebrows, listening to Xavier's whiles.

These were one of the days were you noticed that he drops his nice and angelic facade and into this arrogant, yet empathetic guy.

"Tch. They're not even fucking geniuses. All they do is pocket money, invest, and splurge. They don't give a damn to patients. Like who the fuck do they think they are?!" Xavier rambled more, the scotch making him blurt out his real thoughts onto you.

Sympathetic, you finished folding the clothes of his father and gently walked up to him, and then patted his head with a rub.

Xavier gasped, suddenly feeling that everything was at a standstill, slowly looked up to your peaceful face that was highlighted from the lights of the living room.

Oh god.

"Sir Xavier, those bastards are really something. They're public servants, they should be nice and caring. But all they knew is money." Your sweet voice infiltrated his ears, making his arrogant and superior walls crumble in just a snap.

He was so starved of affection.

Then, your hands caressed his shoulder and rubbed them, making his tense form go away.

Oh god.

And as he grabbed your form and cried into your arms, he knew that things will never be the same.

Xavier rubbed his temples as he listened to the whines of his constituents. Apparently, they wanted to invest in commercial businesses also, but it was a failing start up company with the asking money of 200,000 dollars in exchange of only 10% of the company.

They're seriously fucking him over if they think he'll agree to this obvious scam.

It's been two years since you got in their life.

In his life.

And everyday, he looks forward to coming home into your arms and crashing his low energy body in your embrace.

It was weird, really. At first, he was so stand-offish, but now he was treating you like you were his wife.

That, and also his father continued to pester him to get a wife, since he wanted Xavier to have children before he passes away.

And when he ranted to you about that, you laughed heartily and rubbed his head once more, making him lean into your touch.

"I look like your spouse if you think about it!"

And those words permeated into him, and latched itself into his bones.

Yeah, maybe.

He glared into one of his subordinates and they trembled.

"S-sir, I swear, it's a good investment!" The subordinate said, but their hands are shaking and sweaty.

"No. Get out."

They hastily bowed and ran outside.

Due to your encouragement, he learnt to not hide his true nature and not just grit and bare the shit thrown at him.

"You're the chairperson! And you're just going to let them walk over you?"

You were right. He was at the highest position. So why would he?

So now, he's the one making life a living hell for them. Exacting revenge like a bloodless villain. Even attacking their personal lives.

He worked hard for this position. Too hard. Now it's their time to work hard to maintain theirs.

Then, all of a sudden, his phone rang. He looked at it, and his eyes softened. It was you. With heart emojis in his contacts.

"Hello y/n, how's father?"

But then your panicked voice made him drop everything and drive as fast as possible to your side.

And he saw you crying at the foot of his father's bed, tears streaming down your lovely face as you wept.

His hands trembled.

This time, he's the one to comfort you as he whispered reassuring words.

He looked up at his father's corpse, silently wishing him goodbye as tears also starting to leak from his eyes.

Now he had no one but you.

He held you closer, a numb feeling erupting from his chest as he felt your tears wet his shirt.

Painful sobs of the both of you permeated from this seemingly quiet and cold room, finding one another for comfort from the loss of a dear father figure.

Xavier had to take a break from work.

He felt so numb, leading the wake and the funeral of his father.

As much as he hated him due to his extreme ways of teaching him manners and discipline, he was still his only family left.

His ears rung whenever his father's "friends" sent condolences in a professional, yet fake way.

Time was a concept, and now, he was looking down at his father's grave.

His father didn't want a mosoleum, just a simple grave besides his wife's, Xavier's mother who died in childbirth.

And you were beside him, gripping his hand.

When did the line blur from employer to employee?

Who knows?

But both of you needed each other.

He needed you.

You were the only one left on his side, genuinely.

And he'll be damned to let you go, his only anchor to prevent himself from going apeshit and letting blood spill.

He gulped a cry.

"Y/N, darling, where are you?"

You stilled, hearing his weary voice come from outside of your room. You gripped your clothes and hastily placed all of them in your bag and sliding it under your bed.

"Oh here, Xavier!" Your voice, strained yet giving the outmost genuine tone you could muster. Yet a slight shake can be heard.

"Thank god, I thought you left me. Haha." He opened the door and saw you, sitting on the bed with a wry smile.

He approached you and wrapped his arms around your waist, cuddling close. You bit your cheek.

"Xavier... Um, is it possible for me to go outside to shop?" You asked, rubbing his hair. Wanting a semblance of freedom and a chance to escape.

Xavier's head shot up and he shook his head desperately his grip on you tightening.

"no no no! Silly, definitely not. If you go outside, you'll catch some sickness out there that will probably kill you. And we don't want that, do we? We want you living healthy and long." Xavier desperately reasoned, clinging to you. You bit your lip and nodded slowly.

Ever since his father died seven months ago, he refused to let you go. He was crying, begging for you to stay, for you to take care of him. He even went and upped your salary just for you to stay with him.

But what use is your money if you're essentially locked inside his house?

He refused to let you go at all, scared that you'll get sick and die.

And then he would be truly all alone.

He doesn't want that at all.

He still wants to marry you, to make a family with you. To be with you, his only pillar left.

"I get it, Xavier. I'll stay put." A lump appeared on your throat as you saw his genuine smile of relief.

You were so torn with guilt and desperation for freedom.

You wanted out,

Yet also wanted to stay put and take care of the man.

So, what will you choose?

Spread your wings, while potentially setting off the ticking time bomb that is Xavier, or stay, and accept that being confined in this mansion with no one but Xavier as your only... Friend.

But one thing's for sure.

No matter what you choose,

You'll always end up in his arms.

It's an illusion of choice,

He's always the end game.