#Their boss was not amused.

[thegodthief]

I had fallen into a role at work that I was not hired for. It was convenient for everyone else because things got fixed in minutes or hours instead of days or weeks. And like all things convenient, it became taken for granted.

After weeks of complaining to my boss about the feature creep, two things happened that made me take a public stand.

(1) A clerk complained to their boss that I was disrespectful because I would not drop the time-sensitive work I was hired for to help them with something they had written instructions for.

(2) A person in a different department used my name to social engineer approval for a process I had explicitly refused to touch because it was a very, very bad idea. When the process was discovered, they tried to claim I had approved it but was unable to deliver the email required as proof. I almost got in big trouble with corporate until it was proven that no one in the approval chain ever talked to me.

The following day, I announced that I would no longer do work outside of my job. Everyone laughed it off. I emailed the approval chain informing them to do whatever they need to do to secure their processes but I would no longer represent my office to them. My boss realized I was serious and supported me when he realized how much damage that social engineered approval could have done.

An email (with read receipts) was sent to everyone informing them that I was no longer the office bitch and here are the steps to follow when something needs fixing. For weeks, I still had people calling me because surely I would make an exception for them, and they're important to the office so any slow downs will be my fault.

"Put it in writing. Email me, copy my boss." No one did. No exceptions were made. I was suddenly regarded as rude and disrespectful. I got so much old work done!

Yesterday, a gadget was moved from one office to another. The clerk tapped impatiently at my door. "This will only take you a moment, I'm sure." I didn't know about the gadget and thought a client was being a problem.

"I can't do my job until you get this working."

I laughed. Deep, rich peals of joy. "No."

"But you have to! You did it before!"

"Two things have changed since I installed this last year. I don't have Admin rights anymore. Boss has to approve any off-label work for me. No."

"Can't you do anything?"

"Reboot your computer and let me have the manual."

I took the manual to their boss. The same boss that the clerk complained to about me before. "Just to let you know, your clerk needs this installed on their computer and I can't help them."

"You weren't supposed to be bothered for this. I'll take care of it, thank you."

The clerk wasn't happy with my (in)actions. But I wasn't done yet.

This morning, I waited for other office folk to be present so when I walked past the clerk, I had witnesses.

"Oh hey, about the gadget, did you get the office manager's email about support procedures? You know I'm not listed there, right? If something happens and rebooting doesn't fix it, follow that chain. I'm not Support, can't support, won't support."

"But it's so easy for you."

"No. It's not, and that lack of perception is part of the problem. I am Not Permitted to help anyone in this office with these things. So I'm going to stay in my lane and drift."

They had the grace to wait until they thought I was out of earshot to begin bitching about how wrong I am for not helping them because it's easy for me and how inconvenient their new task is. I laughed, put my earbud in, and got back to my work without any further concern.

[onebizarrekai]

do endgame progression barriers mean nothing to you, ralph

[petitprincess1]

Very late on this, but this is already top-tier comedy 🤣🤣🤣

[esggs]

cult leader!geto suguru x secretary!reader

Geto snores into his pillow, his long hair spread princess-like over his broad back, having escaped from the little bun he made before bed last night. The heavy curtains are keeping his bedroom still cool and dark at 11 am. I guess that’s why I didn’t wake up on time, I’m pretty sure we missed the Ichinori meeting. You look over at your naked boss next to you, deep asleep. Well, I doubt he’ll get mad at me. 

He looks so… breathtaking. His back still carries the marks of your sharp nails, you smile as you run a soft finger down his spine. So perfect. Glowing skin. Hard muscles underneath. He’s not going to wake up anytime soon, you know that. He’s usually a heavy sleeper, but especially after having been wrung out like that last night – you’d done a good job, you grin at the memory. Maybe he’ll give me a raise. 

You try to piece together all your clothes, you do have to go reschedule his meetings after all. Pleated pants- got it, under the blanket that Geto’s hogging all to himself. Formal blouse- got it, near the door, ugh, is that a tear on the neckline? A shame, this one was expensive. Bra, bra, braaa- got it, what the fuck?? Ah. You remember Geto tore it off you, too impatient to wait a second more. He liked to do that, ripping your clothes off you. Yanking a handful of your hair too close to your scalp. Hickies on the soft of the thighs and belly that seemed a touch from bleeding. A harsh spank with his large hand that made your lamb eyes tear up. Pushing a thumb into your ass while fucking into you from behind. A little painful, a little rough. That is how Geto enjoyed you. 

You decide to give up looking for your panties (they're definitely not in a wearable condition anymore, after having been pulled down your wet heat by Geto's teeth and promptly stuffed into your mouth). For a second, you dare to wonder if you’ll get away with stealing one of Geto’s briefs from the clothing drawer, before deciding that’d be crossing a boundary. Regardless of how many times he’s cum down your throat, he’s still your boss, after all. He’s still the wonderful Geto-sama that you adore and respect, one who found your potential as a sorcerer, one who will rid the world of all curses. 

One who’s trying to pull a hair out of his mouth in his sleep. Adorable. One pant leg in and other pant leg out, you awkwardly hop over to him and take the hair out for him. Those eyelashes melt your heart. You cherish him as you wear your pants as silently as you can: he looks painted, he looks angelic, he looks overwhelmingly loved. 

You put on the ruined blouse anyway; you’ll just go home and change. The bra he can have, you leave it tucked under his pillow, a little gift for him to find later. Your nipples chafe slightly against the fabric of the blouse. They still feel raw sensitive. Geto always insists that lapping them with his tongue would heal any wounds that his lips or teeth have caused to your pretty, perky nipples, but that’s not true. You can feel right now that it’s not goddamn true. Your tits still have full marks of his bites stinging red on them. 

In fact, now that you’re paying more attention to yourself, your entire body feels sore. Your neck has a faintly purple outline of his large hand, and your voice seems to still be rough. Was it him choking you within an inch of your life till your head swam within clouds of ecstasy as he finally let you cum on his cock? Or was it the way he roughly pushed your head into his lap, his thick cock stretching out the insides of your throat? Oh, the image of him hissing as he threw his head back, his Adam's apple bobbing with every deep groan and gasp. “A magician with that mouth,” he’d call you, as he petted your cheek before falling asleep. I’d do it every night just to hear him say it again. 

The places he’s grasped you to hold you against him, your sides, shoulders, thighs, ass, they all hurt. He went overboard last night. Did something happen yesterday? Hmm, December 7... nope, doesn't ring a bell. You pout as you find your phone, tablet, and a Plan B pill you take from his bedside drawer. Geto would rather not use condoms, but also doesn’t fully trust you to take your regular pills on time. So there you go. God’s punishment for creampies.

You suppose Geto has a thing for them. Not that he wants kids, just that he likes feeling you raw. Hearing you cry as you struggle to take him. Smiling as you plead that it’s too much. Pressing your ankles down to your ears as he sinks deeper into you. Moaning into your mouth as he ruts his pleasure into your warm walls, his cum drooling over your sticky thighs. Doing just as he likes, without restraint. 

You have to leave him now, it’s so sad. Rapunzel is still snoring deeply, turning over and letting the blanket fall from his X-scarred chest. You dig his phone out of the mess and leave it next to his ear, you’ll call him awake at 1 pm so that he’s ready for his daily evening address and other meetings. You quickly put your heels on and leave, but not before dropping a kiss on his nose. To keep him company throughout the day. It’s pointless and a bit too sentimental for Geto to appreciate, you believe. Besides, you’ll be right next to him all day anyway, won’t you?

a/n : every now and then the geto suguru agenda seizes me until i cant function.

img credits: 1 2 3

[rius-cave]

Adam with Lilith and Eve about Lucifer.

Adam: Whelp, it's official we've all fucked the same guy!

Lilith as Moxxie

Eve as Millie

PLEASE. GKGKDMKCLSHOSKDJFJ

HE SHOULD!!!

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Re:coded - Sora's Heartless

[esprei]

please make way for subway boss volo! ✨

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

Hell and Heaven are about to go to war very soon.

And wasn't HIS job to predict that?! 😤

Meh, I'll cut him some slack: he's got too much on his plate right now to predict a war... 🥲

[princeofuchiha]

I think the scene with Itachi and Kisame escaping Jiraiya has so much untapped humor to it.

Like. I know I know it super wasn't a thing but I find it so funny to imagine Itachi and Jiraiya knowing each other via work. Considering one of them low key specializes in stealth/spy work and one of them runs a spy network.

The image of Itachi trying to do his job and his boss just waltzing in to go What Do You Think You're Doing, That's Not Very Protocol Of You is so funny to me. Itachi just immediately dropping Naruto and going on his way like My Bad, Actually, Disregard That

Itachi getting jumpscared by his boss while out on contract 4K /hj

[khawlat]

Look, truth is, there are 24 dukes in this country. This seems to be the only one who can navigate both the upper echelons of high society and shoot someone in the head without worrying about it.

[local-redhead-bookworm]

My favorite Helluva Boss headcanon (or reading? It seems text-supported) is that Blitzø is really hot by imp standards and Stolas is decidedly plain by Goetia standards

[katkalis-the-fanartist]

The serpentine twins with their chosen mate! Ingo vigilantly keeps watch while Emmet eagerly learns what foods their precious partner prefers! Their den is a comfortable temperature, while a fire warms the brothers' scales and helps them remain limber!

Also I now decided that I'll allow asks to be sent, directed towards them! If you wanna interact with them or have an oc step up to their home. You name it! Or if you want you can just ask general questions about them.

Even though I cant guarantee a sure response date, I'm hoping a few asks will inspire me to make more art of the scaled boys!

[jyuubin]

A BOSS AND A BABE (2023) // Gun & Cher ↳ of myths and mischief *or local man is rethinking bringing his boss back home

{ID is in the ALT}

— ©jyuubin

[nell0-0]

This has been on my drafts for some time, but I finally finished it ^^

Yep, you guessed it, another PLA AU. I’ve been thinking about a warden Elesa au where she’s eeby deebied to Hisui and takes Ingo’s place as the warden of Lady Sneasler. The thing is that it’s a twin dragons au as well, and would you look at that, there’s a very lost, very confused black dragon type hanging around the Highlands :)

Both have amnesia, so it’s not like they remember what pokemon Zekrom is, nevermind that he’s Ingo. But despite not remembering each other or that Zekrom is Ingo, they’re friends!

What can I say, I love twin dragons AUs askdhsfsmbfnfns

[l0st-marblezz]

Spot the Difference (Pt. 3)

[whorebughaze]

made alastor’s antlers and then forgot them in the oven…they are stuck to the pan and not even the strength of a god could get them off