#The ultimate twink of the 80s

[philiponmycracker]

Tom Hulce, from Dominick and Eugene (1988)

[philiponmycracker]

My one and only true Disney Prince, I loved you since I was 11 and this love shall never die. Mozart! Dominick! Dear sweet queer king, I swear it must be heaven's light

happy birthday, Tom Hulce - I’ve always liked him, particularly in Those Lips, Those Eyes and Parenthood, but also in the small role he has in Stranger Than Fiction. Gosh, he was adorable back in the day, but first and foremost so talented. Happy 60th, Tom!

[muirneach]

re prev being super masculine is sooo important to me but unfortunately im a 5’1 gayboy 😭

[windsweptinred]

@mashumaru I hope you don't mind me answering your question here? There was no way this was fitting in the comments section. 😅 So these are what I'd call more Sunday afternoon murder mysteries then gritty crime dramas, as that's what I'm mainly watching at the mo. But if you'd like some darker recs, just let me know.

Anywho...

Midsomer Murders

The ultimate Sunday afternoon watch. Murder most foul, represented artistically in the form of a cream tea. Starring Inspector Barnaby(s), the most teddy bear men ever to exist. Every episode will include chocolate box village eye porn. Murder weapons have included but are not limited to: a cheese wheel, drowned in chocolate, a headless horseman and a steampunk werewolf. It sounds ridiculous but once you start, you won't be able to stop. I promsie you. The horrors: 0/10, though may leave you with a life long phobia of morris dancers and village fetes.

The Morseverse (Endeavour/Inspector Morse and Lewis)

Ah Morseverse, my beloved. The English academic elite does crime. Oxford is it's own splendorous character, with every episode crammed full of towering libraries, awe inspiring architecture and fanatically manicured, college quads. A must watch for those whose hearts belong to dark academia. Endeavour and Morse are set in the 60s/70s and 80s/90s respectively. And follow the same character, Endeavour Morse, from brilliant, blue eyed, troubled twink to brilliant, blue eyed, grumpy old man with a definite alcohol problem. (Never play drink along with Morse, it's a surefire way to get alcohol poisoning.) The baton is then passed to his sergeant, Robert Lewis in Lewis, set in the relative present (as of this post). The relationship between Inspector and Sergeant is what ultimately makes these series, be it Fred Thursday and Morse, Morse and Lewis and Lewis and James Hathaway. And you'll come to treasure them. Be prepared to leave these series with a well earned fictional degree in classical music. Murders CAN and WILL be based on obscure, literary references. The horrors: Well it depends.... I'd say Endeavour is the darkest, Lewis is the lightest with Morse settled nicely in between. If you finish this series not wanting a Jaguar Mark II, you did it wrong.

Vera

Vera Stanhope, my northumbrian queen, my geordie goddess. A middle aged plus woman, with no makeup (or two f*cks to rubs together) decked in a brown hat and mac and driving the world most beaten up land rover.... Owns everyone. And it is sooo satisfying to watch. The scenic southern eye candy of the two previous recs is replaced with the wild, isolated landscapes of the North, very much reflecting our DI. She's joined by sergeant dark and dishy and the ever more put up Kenny Lockhart, as well as host of others. But what really makes this series is Vera herself. As equally formidable as she is kind hearted, with no hint of glamour. She's the kind of female representation we both need and deserve. The horrors: Vera passive aggressively calling vicious murderers 'pet' fixes all world problems. It's scientifically proven.

Things you may have heard of:

Sherlock Holmes, the Granada edition starring Jeremy Brett. No finer Sherlock has ever graced our screens to this day (And yes, I will stand and fight for that statement.) One of the most loyal adaptations of the books ever made.

Poirot, staring David Suchet. No offence to Kenneth Branagh (Your Henry V got me through high-school English lit sir). But David Suchet is THE Prirot for me. Another loyal book adaptation. Over a 25 year period Suchet lived and breathed Poirot and it shows.

If anyone's got any other recommendations please feel free to add them on. I know I've missed a ton! Anywho, I hope that helps me dear. 😁

[fruitysalamander1398]

this will only appeal to a very niche demographic and honestly i thought it was too perfect to post at first but i figured i'd share it just in case anyone else finds joy from this lmao.

so my best friend and i came up with a cast list for if reservoir dogs had been made in 1972 instead of 1992. i've included pictures that i think showcase the kind of energy these actors may have brought to these roles as well

mr. white - paul newman

i mean he would realllyyy lean into the softie side of mr. white and come across very romantic imo. he would come across as very sincere and would play up the emotional aspects of mr. white's character. like this would somehow be even more gay i think.

mr orange - al pacino

twink. his dynamic with paul newman would go insane just imagine how gay it would be...i think he'd have a similar energy to the version of michael corleone at the beginning of part one- very quiet and restrained, also kind of awkward, and ultimately able to pull of his deception as mr. orange. he'd come across a lot different than tim roth's mr orange but in a really interesting way. there is also an inherent vulnerability to his acting style that would work really well here.

mr. pink - robert de niro

with steve buscemi's mr. pink, you get the sense that he is not used to these types of situations. but i think de niro would add a way more smooth and collected yet unhinged energy to mr. pink. his not wanting to tip the waiter would come off more as a thing he does to sound like a tough guy for instance. he'd be more unsettling in general.

mr. brown - jack nicholson

i think jack nicholson would make mr. brown a lot more outwardly creepy and gross (if this is even possible i mean we are talking about tarantino himself here lmao) but like he would make everything mr. brown says seem straight-up disgusting especially the opening monologue (which, come to think of it, would be interesting because the 70s-80s pop culture references of reservoir dogs would have been 50s-60s references in this version)

mr. blond - james caan

this one was the hardest to pick for some reason? i had a few ideas for mr. blond but honestly this makes the most sense and i think he would really play up mr. blond's careless and nonchalant attitude towards violence.

i feel like this post is the most mentally ill hing i've ever made and probably just a shout into the void but it felt criminal not to share this when i was so dead set on some of these ideas. if anyone has any thoughts please feel free to share.

[yenforfairytales]

Daniel as Slave Leia was A Choice I 100% approve of. Does that make Terry Jabba the Hut lmaoooooo. Jokes aside (or not), since young!Terry (Twig) was a dork, he would definitely be a Star Wars fan. He would probably nut himself to death if cute little Danny walked in dressed in that metal bikini...hehe.

Amazing choices were made! And now I'm just picturing Jabba with a Silver ponytail lmao.

And to think, this here Twig was just two years away from the first Star Wars film coming out:

NERD(S)!

You can't tell me Terry doesn't have a lightsaber he built himself somewhere in that sword collection!

And Karate Kid 3 takes place one year before Return of the Jedi came out...

You just know he had some seriously haunting dreams about being a mob boss in space, and the bratty twink-that-got-away in a certain slave outfit. Daniel and Leia do have similar attitudes. 🤭

I mean that outfit is infamously known to be every sci fi nerds ultimate fantasy.

Imagine late 80's or early 90's while Daniel and Terry are dating. The topic comes up jokingly in bed as these things do

Daniel is so modest and usually covers up buuuut, it is Terry's birthday soon. What do you get the man who has everything?

Terry comes home from work to find Daniel draped across their bed in the slave Leia outfit, complete with chain, just like the scene in the movie.

Terry's instantly hard and wet in his pants as Daniel moves to sit up on his knees. Gotta show off a little.

Daniel turns around to look over his shoulder, giving Terry a good look at miles of smooth, golden skin.

"Hello, master. How do you want me?"

I can only assume that Terry approaches the bed with growls, beyond words at this point...

Needless to say, Terry orders tailor made Slave Danny outfits in various colors and textiles! 🤣

Every time a new one arrives, Daniel tries it on like his own little fashion show, and makes sure to thank his generous, completely unselfish boyfriend.

[nyaagolor]

I just finished Adastra and I am about to make that everyone's problem

Tldr: it slams and (if you are over 18) you should play it

Disclaimer: Adastra is an 18+ VN. There will be no nsfw content in this post but like. If ur a minor get outta here

This isn't a liveblog, since I already finished the game, but it's a pretty similarly scattered collection of my thoughts while playing so there's no real narrative cohesion to this post. If u were looking for a detailed review just watch the video by Boringkeith

I think the biggest thing about the game to me is how insane the plot gets at Act 2. Act 1, while admittedly kind of dull, does a great job at setting up characterization and tension over time, introducing motivations and worldbuilding in a really natural way. The way the author handles the delivery of information is just. Fucking fantastic if I'm being honest, and the conversations-- ESPECIALLY arguments-- just feel so natural. There's a great tension and release that the game has, and it's a really gripping story. I think writers like this shine in this medium because God. GOD. the dialogue is good. Then Act 2 happens and shit hits the fan and does not STOP hitting the fan until the poor thing is bowled over and unplugged from the wall. Genuinely unhinged, the pacing is breakneck and it is GOOD

The protagonist actually being their own person was also fantastic, and honestly one of the only ways I can see this story going. Despite inevitably being a romance VN with intertwined political drama, I never really felt myself occupying the protagonist (Marco)'s role too much, and this is for the better. Ultimately, Amicus (the love interest) is perfect for Marco, but not for me. Neferu is hotter anyway. But Marco? Amicus??? Those two dumbasses are made for each other. Plus, the actual codified personality of the protagonist allowed for a great deal of information to be presented and withheld in ways that wouldn't be allowed by a blank slate protagonist. The dynamics wouldn't have worked as well either, and I think the story is all the more engaging for it. I, personally, would have been more lenient on Alexios but Marco? He wants that twink OBLITERATED

Cassius is the funniest character in this game I think. He just reeks of like. Loser redpilled 17 year old projecting all his insecurities into the incel takes imaginable. I'm going to wring him out like a wet paper towel. Yes he's a borderline space fascist but I can fix him I swear. When he hotboxes and trips so hard he sees God, only to have God call him a cringefail loser and he starts crying about it? Yeah that's babygirl material. Pathetic beast

It is very funny to me that the game has to spend 80% of its runtime trying to convince you that Amicus would make a good emperor and explicitly has rules in place to say that females can't rule because you KNOW within 15 seconds of her opening her mouth that Virginia is the un-debatable best choice. The fact that Amicus doesn't immediately give up his throne for her is his biggest flaw

Cato is kinda one note but he is supposed to represent heternormativity and the pitfalls of bigotry in this giant scifi queer allegory so he gets a pass. I'll admit I found him to be a lil too mustache twirling snarky towards the climax, but eh. Also I'm dead convinced that the parents meddled with him. He started freaking out when his visor got taken off and acted more erratically now that he lost his parental tech (hm) and also him crashing the parents' ship was totally out of line with his motives even as mentioned by other characters. The parents def manipulated him I can feel it

The Parents are sus as fuck I will stand by this. The game really makes you want to choose the option of trusting them (and I did bc I just want Marco and Amicus to be happy) but like. Fuck man. They mad shifty I don't trust like that they got some other shit going on. BoringKeith says more than I ever could about it just watch his video

For personal reasons I am furious about them not showing the ram civilization. We know about four of the civilizations (greek cats, roman wolves, egyptian jackals, and indian tigers) but like. What about the rest? Based on the little we've gotten it looks like the bears are norse and there are rams but I don't even remember the other two. What are they I want to see them

My only mark against this game is that both of the disabled characters are evil. I don't think there are any non-villainous disabled people which kinda blows. I heard Echo is better about it which is good? but even still it left a sour taste in my mouth

The art? is really good??????? I love the expressions and the way the CGs look especially. Fucking fantastic

The themes of homophobia in this game are ROUGH and really really raw. Again not gonna talk about it much here watch the boringkeith video but Woof. This game is so good I highly recommend

Go play Adastra

[the-interplay-of-sex-and-violins]

I'm just going to answer these because nobody will ask and also nobody knows I exist anyway!

Did you want to hear about a drow twink today? No? Well you're gonna!

Part one!

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass? Kelyn is an assassin/bard. His first kill was when he was 7, because someone had been hired to assassinate him--it's unclear if it was a rival noble family or his own mother trying to kill him. Either way, his skill at murder got his mother to fast-track his education as an assassin himself, and by his teens he was his house's favorite killer and infamous in Menzoberranzan for his brutality, efficiency, and creativity. When he was in his 80s, he discovered he was a natural savant with music, especially violin, which similarly was immediately co-opted by his mother as an addition to his tools as an assassin, giving him access to some useful magic as well as an easy way to get close to targets.

Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single? In Menzoberranzan, likely no romantic relationships (although he's hinted at some sexual experience he actively does not want to elaborate on). For the short time on the surface before he ended up in Baldur's Gate, there may have been the occasional dalliance, but nothing serious or steady. In Baldur's Gate, he and Gortash quickly became enamored with each other after they started working together. It likely started as something non-serious and mostly physical, with shades of using one another; Gortash using sex as a tool to manipulate Kelyn, Kelyn using it as a coping mechanism to repress the Urge, and both of them in it out of genuine physical attraction to each other. But eventually it turned into a sort of toxic co-dependence where they both make each other worse and also need each other, and there was actual feeling there...but how much is unclear, and ultimately they probably would have both been ready to betray each other for their goals if necessary (though Kelyn would have only betrayed Gortash if Bhaal demanded it and gave him no other choice, and Gortash fully intended to keep Kelyn as his partner for as long as he possibly could--ideally, indefinitely). It's also probably extremely likely much of Gortash's attraction to Kelyn was in recognizing how much of a monster he was, and in being the one who held his leash, at least part of the time; for Kelyn, being leashed was a comfort, because at least someone might have some control of him, and being able to be honest about his nature was itself a relief.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate? He'd like to think its his violin skills, but realistically would probably say its his ability to manipulate people. Both are accurate; he's not the greatest violinist in the world, but he's extremely naturally skilled, and he's got a very good knack for reading people.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate? Definitely the whole "he loves murder, a lot" thing. It's definitely his most excitingly deadly flaw, anyway!

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods? Ambiguous, leaning negative. He's had very little proof of the "good" gods doing anything worth a damn, and the "bad" ones seem all too eager to involve themselves in his life. The events of the game also soured him to gods in general, with specific dislike for Mystra and Shar (and, of course, Bhaal). Mostly he'd just like them all to leave him--and his friends--alone.

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss? Mostly just with confusion and vague alarm; he doesn't remember enough to remember how to feel about it. He thought it was a side effect of the tadpole at first, as well as the Urges, and when it became apparent it wasn't, that alarmed him a fair bit more...but it wasn't exactly something he could immediately do anything about, either.

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options? Only in bits and pieces, which is helped by Alythara reminding him of some. She intentionally left out the worst parts that she thought would only cause him pain; and based on what Kelyn does recall, he doesn't blame her and is grateful not to remember specifics; he knows enough to know being a boy in Menzoberranzan was not pleasant. He tries to focus on the comforting, good parts he does remember.

How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness? It's alright. He's no druid or ranger, but he appreciates nature and specifically how much calmer and emptier it can be than a city. But, at the same time, he does enjoy the benefits of civilization.

How does your Dark Urge feel about the city? He's much more at home in the city than not, having been in one pretty much his entire life. He usually prefers the energy of having other people around, but is simultaneously afraid of having so many potential victims near him.

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole? Kelyn's already got enough brain problems and reasons to fear he's a legitimate danger to those around him; he has absolutely no desire to aggravate that by becoming more ilithid, thank you very much. Besides, he has little control of his own mind as it is, and he's desperate to keep whatever grasp on it he can.

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge? His innate nature is to be a kind, gentle man who doesn't want to hurt people without necessity; Bhaal's influence smothers that and can hide it, but Kelyn's aware of it now, and disgusted by the things he does when he gives in. As such, he's hyper-aware of it at all times, and fighting tooth and nail to resist.

How does your Dark Urge feel about being a Bhaalspawn? He hates it and the realization terrifies him, and he mostly tries not to think about it in a "if I think about this too long I'll give in to despair" kind of way.

How does your Dark Urge feel about killing? Without Bhaal's influence, Kelyn dislikes killing but understands sometimes it's a necessity, or some people simply need to die. It's always an option, but almost never the first one. With Bhaal's influence, though, he loves it, and enjoys toying with victims; usually he prefers to play cat-and-mouse with them and kill them decisively once he gets bored, but torture is always available as a choice too, if you're really special!

How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying? Very good, and he has no significant qualms about it, though he prefers to bend the truth or exaggerate rather than outright lie. He still tends to be truthful rather than not, however; he just will lie if he feels the need.

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear? Not being able to resist the Urge at a crucial moment, and actually harming or killing someone he loves.

Intermission. Pet an owlbear.

Now, part two:

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire? To be rid of the Urge.

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret? Alfira. He genuinely really liked and bonded with her in the short time they knew each other, and in another life they would have been really good friends; her murder was a devastating wake-up call for him about how serious and real the Urge is, and it's always going to be a thing that haunts him.

How does your Dark Urge feel about love? About like most people, I assume. More specifically, he thinks it's a lovely idea...but applied to himself, well, he's worried what someone getting close to him means for them, once he realizes how deadly his Urges are. At the same time, though, he fears without those connections, he'd lose himself entirely: it's his bonds with Alythara, Yurissa, and eventually Astarion that encouraged him to fight it at all, instead of inevitably being worn down by Bhaal.

Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not? Oh hai Astarion! Initially, Kelyn and Astarion didn't exactly like each other; Astarion outright disliked him and thought he was an obnoxious do-gooder with no sense of how bad the world actually is, Kelyn thought Astarion was a slimy, shady ass but he was funny and kind of pretty and he didn't think he had a reason to distrust him yet. This quickly devolved into belligerent, snarky flirting that actually went somewhere, and they graduated to frenemies-with-benefits, and eventually they began to realize each other's hidden depths and how much they actually had in common; particularly, Astarion realized Kelyn is not as naïve or innocent as he thought, and Kelyn realized Astarion's got a hell of a tragic backstory he wants to help with. Before long it became something real, with both of them functioning to ground the other and believe they could each be better than they thought they were. Once they're an established couple, they're rather disgustingly and obviously in love, although Kelyn is more obvious; Astarion tends to deflect and downplay his affection with snark and sarcasm, especially in front of an audience, and while Kelyn happily plays along, he also tends to exhibit more puppy-dog devotion.

Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why? Kelyn mentioned it lightly a few times, but quickly clammed up when others brushed it off, and keeps it to himself as long as possible (right up until he nearly kills Astarion) out of fear he's going mad and nobody will take that revelation well. A large part of it is shame and self-loathing, too, for the thoughts he has about the people around him. Once it's a known fact, he'll talk about it...but he doesn't like to, because it makes other people uncomfortable and he's still deeply ashamed of having those thoughts at all. He's most comfortable discussing it with Alythara (who knew about it, and had hoped the tadpole cured him of it, like it cured Astarion of his vampiric weaknesses) and Astarion (who accepts it more readily and tends to treat it less seriously than everyone else, often with humor).

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to? How 'bout I just leave this here. Technically it's Kelstarion, so a bit of Kel, a bit of Astarion, a fair bit of both. However, special commendation goes to Kiss Me You Animal, History Will Not Repeat, and Pretty Pills for Broken Hearts.

What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers? The immediate impression is likely to be intimidated, because he's a drow in dark clothing. But he very quickly comes across as warm, cheerful, and friendly once you actually speak to him, and if you're in any kind of distress, very kind and understanding.

How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them? In general he's not overly concerned unless it's hindering him, but he's very conscious of the fact that he tends to intimidate people at first and exaggerates his natural friendliness a bit to head it off.

Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general? His violin. It's the very first one he ever had, and he values it more than just about anything (possibly including his own life)--playing music helps soothe and quiet the Urges, and it's his main coping mechanism to keep from giving in. His violin is thus both a means of self-expression, and more importantly a lifeline to keep from being dragged into the darkness trying to swallow him, as well as a symbol of his ability to resist at all.

How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel? He loathes the little bastard and wants him the hell away from himself and anyone he cares about.

How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal? Kelyn wants to hate him, and mostly does, but hating a god is like hating a hurricane; largely pointless and a waste of energy. He'd rather be using that energy to do some good in the world, or perhaps something in particular that would spite his father.

How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders? If they're reasonable and not worded too rudely, he's fine taking orders. He's more likely to object if it's not coming from a woman, though; he's subconsciously still running off his conditioning to fear and respect women without question, and he tends to default to that. As for giving, he doesn't really feel like he deserves that authority, but he essentially has "muscle memory" from leading Bhaal's cult, so he slips into it easily without thinking. He does still wonder why the hell people keep looking to him to lead, though.

How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure? Surprisingly well, at least outwardly. He may need to freak out a bit afterwards, however. He's decent at compartmentalizing, though, and setting aside his stress to blow up on him at a later, more convenient moment.

What advice would you give to your Dark Urge? Hug your boyfriend more, he needs it and so do you. It'll be okay.

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game? His biggest concern is to find a way to give Astarion the sun back, and ideally to mitigate his other vampiric weaknesses if the opportunity presents itself. Beyond that, he'd like to settle down and just have a relatively-normal life for once, but Astarion takes precedence.

30 Questions for your Dark Urge

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Tav edition here)

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the city?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn?

How does your Dark Urge feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret?

How does your Dark Urge feel about love?

Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?

How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them?

Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

[philiponmycracker]

Tom Hulce as Ivan Sanchin, from The Inner Circle (1991, dir. Andrei Konchalovsky) - Part I / III

[mdhwrites]

It Makes No Sense That I Like Honkai Star Rail

So this blog is going to be positive but I thought I'd start with how BIZARRE it is that I like this game... at all. Back in 2016, I played a lot of mobile games. It was how I passed my days in class while suffering from depression. This included a lot of mobile games of ALL varieties. You can think of it? I have probably tried it. I spent a year like that...

And entirely burnt out. Not just on the bad ones but on free to play games pretty much altogether. Weirder still is that the style of game I NEVER got into? Gacha games. I found the progression annoying more than anything else and the pull system not enticing. Even now, I easily will tell you that the Gacha system is still probably the thing I dislike most about Star Rail.

So... Why do I like it?

*shrug* I just do. I literally can't quantify why which for someone like me just feels kind of weird and so I kind of wanted to get it out of the way ahead of time by sharing this odd anecdote.

BUT with that out of the way, what is Honkai Star Rail?

It is a turn based, gacha RPG with cute waifus, lolis, twinks and... Well, I'd say buff men but really it's just like average dude or tall twink still. Body type variety is not Hoyoverse's strongsuit. If someone calls someone in any of their games THICC smack them. People should not be allowed to lie after all.

The combat system itself will immediately be familiar to almost anyone who has ever watched a Youtube video sponsored by RAID SHADOW LEGENDS! So, you know, like 80% of all digital video out there. The big difference is... It's actually turn based. You can turn on auto battle but at its core, it is genuinely turn based and has a turn bar akin to Final Fantasy X and every character has a speed stat that determines where they go on it. Otherwise, everyone has a basic attack, a skill, an ultimate that charges as they do things or take damage, a talent and a technique. The talent is just a passive gimmick to the character to help them stand out more usually, such as a way they trigger additional attacks, buffs they gain during a fight, etc. like that. The basic attack does what you think it does with one little caveat:

It gives a skill point. This is where the fact that it's genuinely turn based I think actually does allow it some real complexity. See, skills are always your character's better moves. They're the ones with special abilities and don't need the charge time of Ultimates (which you can activate at literally any time). However, you need a skill point so you need to balance these skills with basic attacks and how characters move on the turn order bar can really help or hinder this depending on how hungry to use their skills some characters are.

The final big complexity of the combat is that every enemy has elemental weaknesses and every character represents one element. If a character hits an enemy's weakness, it lowers a stamina bar on them until it shatters, causing the opponent to take a lot of damage, get a debuff of some sort that correlates to the element, and pushes them down on the turn order. It can also stop things like charge attacks that enemies put up or if an enemy specifically is watching for certain types of actions, they no longer pay attention while broken like this. Timing them and going for them is genuinely a large part of the strategy and helps make sure that you have at least some variety in your team.

That's because while every character only has five core traits, and only three of which can actually be used in combat, let alone the fact that EVERYONE'S basic attacks are the same, the game still gets a TON out of its systems. As an example to encourage new players: One of the starting characters is called March 7th. She's a bubbly sweetheart who's a bit of an airhead but she's also the first tank that you'll get. Her ability lets her throw on shields onto others that commonly equal about half their health if you're specing her into defense and twice between turns, if an enemy attacks someone with a shield, she retaliates with effectively her basic attack. She can also shield herself and there were a LOT of early challenges I could tackle without proper preparation just because the enemy quite literally couldn't kill March and she could literally wait them out. And she is literally one of the first THREE characters you begin the game with.

I literally cleared the first two WORLDS without ever having to really change my team composition from the starting crew. Hell, besides the main character, I've only VERY recently (literally last couple weeks) started using any of the 5 stars I'd gotten because I liked how my four stars handled situations more. And that's also a nice element to the game: It's complex but it's not mean. It doesn't have no challenge but if have an alright grasp on turn based strategy, you'll be more than fine for all but end game content. I am horribly unoptimized compared to what my teams could be but because I didn't actively make wrong decisions, I've done plenty well.

The gameplay is genuinely just GOOD. Shame that that's the only thing I can be entirely positive about.

The writing in the game isn't bad. Sometimes it even manages to be great like when they looked at Final Fantasy 14 Heavensward and went "What if we tried that but with no dragons?" That's not entirely fair, classist divides and rulers gone mad are nothing new but Jarilo 6, the world after the tutorial world, is the best written part of the game HANDS DOWN and it's kind of clear what the main thrust of its tropes are. Worse yet, this scifi game's best tropes are commonly most associated with fantasy and Jarilo 6's setting is the one closest to just being either modern or Victorian in tone, while also having knights, which is just a constant problem for the game. The third planet barely ever feels like scifi despite it being literally a ship the size of planet. Instead it mostly comes across as sky Venice with Chinese designs and culture.

Even if you ignore that it is supposed to not literally just be Genshin Impact again though, the writing rarely impresses. The tutorial is just straight up awful. Fantasy and Scifi both have proper noun problems and just the exposition said before you get control of your character, which is like ten minutes at most (if you DON'T read the dozens of documents lying around), isn't a soup. It's a garbage pile. The amount of terms and concepts they expect the player to just immediately get is AWFUL. The third planet of the game suffers similarly where it has so much exposition to cram in that key plot elements don't get properly explained as to what they actually are except in SIDE CONTENT. Jarilo 6, unsurprisingly, actually for the most part doesn't have a ton of unique proper nouns and hey, it also has the tightest and most coherent story because of it. This is mostly because it leans into Star Rail's proper writing strength: Characters.

The companion quests of the game are some of the best pieces of content in the game period. Sometimes they're playing an old trope straight but really well, like the quest that's just The Gift of the Magi, sometimes they'll have fun twists and sometimes it'll just be a neat look at one of the characters in the cast. Regardless of what it is, they clearly get more love than the common sidequest which while they may have some nice flavor is usually about exactly what you expect from a free to play game of this size.

So if this is the mid part of the game... What do I actually dislike? Well... Everything that are the hallmarks of a free to play gacha game. The progression just kind of sucks ass. Now to be fair, you can actually keep a pretty good sized roster of characters up to where the game wants you for pretty much all the main game content that exists currently. I would say until level 70, the game rewards a player enough that you still need to make choices, you can't level literally every character, but you can do it. Getting past 70 on the other hand... Well, let me put it this way: Just to be ALLOWED to level a five star character takes 21 HOURS worth of energy. And only for that level limit break. It takes well over a day for ONE CHARACTER to have the right to level up to 80, the game's current level cap. With guides I've seen, it takes 12 DAYS worth of grinding just the money farm option in the game to, by it alone admittedly, get the credits to be able to upgrade a 5 star characters abilities to max. None of this includes the resources to level them up, because grinding fights is practically meaningless for exp, their six pieces of equipment that need to be leveled up, their specialty piece of equipment you need to also get to level 80, the OTHER resources you have to grind in order to level up the character's abilities, etc. etc.

Like honestly, genuinely, I don't think the gacha is the worst part of this game. The resource grind, that will keep any ftp gamer locked down (I'm a light spender as I've bought a few battlepasses) at all times to try and get stronger to challenge the highest difficulty content, is VERY REAL. The plus side is that this stuff doesn't take a lot of time out of your day... But it does take time. Every day. Because that is just how the live service, free to play game works.

Which kind of brings me back to how I began this with: Why do I like this game? I DESPISE these sorts of grinds that feel so self defeating with how much they take. With the time they consume to see no improvement. To just get stonewalled on progress as I have to sit and wait and that is still at the core of the game because that is simply the business model they have.

But I like it and unlike back when I played for about a month and a half when it came out, I suspect I'll be sticking with it longer this time. That it's just my way to kill time nowadays. It's a game I genuinely like. Heck, my current goals are actually to make it so I get a five star soon that makes DoT teams go from good to GREAT because that just seems like a fun way to direct my energy currently.

And because I do want this to potentially convince some people to possibly check it out: Star Rail is giving a LOT of bonuses away for having won a lot of awards, including Mobile Game of the Year from the Game Awards. These include free pulls and, in roughly a month, a free five star character to all players, something Hoyoverse's other HUGE game Genshin Impact has literally never done yet. So now is a pretty good time to get on board if you're interested.

OH SON OF A BITCH I FORGOT ABOUT ALL THE GIRLS WHO COME OFF AS LESBIA-

======+++++======

I still need to get Bronya to go alongside my Seele (who is the five star I've used from almost effectively when the game launched since she was the first premium 5 star character). Just give me my frozen lesbians game! T-T

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[looney-just-like-her-tunes]

notes on fashion and twinknism; a best selling novel by tom cruise

[stronghours]

2021/2022 LibraryZone

the review of the annual reading list has been part of my end-of-year housekeeping since attending fake grad school. as with sex matters, I have been met with huge successes and squalid failures year to year

my original 2021 reading goal was a lofty 100. In a vast oversight of timing, I also picked this year to make my sexual debut and was often called away by dear friends, and my own noble spirit, to thrill the ladies. as you can see below, god doesn't give with both hands

2021 Completed Reading List:

Crisis Zone – Simon Hanselmann

All Creatures Great and Small – James Herriot

Chilly Scenes of Winter – Ann Beattie

Cheri – Colette

The Last of Cheri - Colette

The Cannibal – John Hawkes

A Little Life – Hanya Yanagihara

Cleanness – Garth Greenwell

Call Me Ishmael – Charles Olson

Darryl – Jackie Ess

My Loose Thread – Dennis Cooper

The Sluts – Dennis Cooper

Castle Faggot – Derek McCormack

The American Dreams – Two Screenplays – Philip Ridley

Nightmare Abbey – Thomas Love Peacock

The Sweet Science – A.J. Liebling

Cows – Matthew Stokoe

Evelina – Frances Burney

Manual for Cleaning Women – Lucia Berlin

Girl’s Against God – Jenny Hval

Les Liaisons dangereuses - Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

my ignorant findings:

Darryl is a top contender, possible the most loveable contemporary book I've ever read

Garth Greenwell is the most overwrought disappointment of a contemporary gay writer that I've ever had the misfortune to experience. I stop short of accusing him of being disingenuous because...

...A Little Life is truly a god-example of disingenuity in fiction. a freakshow of insincerity. a place/time novel completely unmoored from time and place. I've never seen anything like it and the world is worse for it existing

I should have started reading Dennis Cooper years ago. The Sluts really bolstered my only true fetish, which is reading about individuals falling apart physically and mentally as they fail to build and then fail to repair the illusion of an impossible, ultimately nonexistent fantasy (the consequences are terminal)

Les Liaisons dangereuses - that's france, babye!!

In retrospect, I should have read Cows and All Creatures Great and Small back to back, as they're both often about men sticking their appendages into bovines. a lesson in context

Of 2022

without goals, I would sit on a cool rock and marinate like a snail. so I hold myself to standards. I can't discipline others if I can't discipline myself.

the list of 2022 has already careened into the 100s, so in lieu of that, some highlights that I'm most looking forward to:

The Sea of Fertility (tetralogy of novels by Yukio Mishima)

a big pile of Colette, especially Gigi & Claudine

can I read all the Dennis Cooper in existence? we'll see!

Thomas Mann: Diaries 1918-1939, + The Magic Mountain

at least a triptych of Flaubert, that big old bitch

Ingeborg Bachmann/Paul Celan: Correspondence - I read Malina for 2020 and was totally stymied at all points of entry. I need whatever insight I can get into Bachmann

Authors who I could not get ahold of in 2021 for various reasons: B.R. Yeager, Gary Shipley, Steve Dunn, Christopher Chitty, Matt Lee, Maggie Siebert, blah blah blah

The Lonely Lady and Endless Love - started up a late-year interest in salacious 70s pop sex novels that inspired some affectionately awful 80s movies

The Blind Owl – Sadegh Hedayat

The Family Mashber – Der Nister

Against Nature – Joris-Karl Huysmans

The Underwater Welder - Jeff Lemire

When the Monster Comes out of the Closet – L. Steinhorst (I would love a physical copy but paperbacks run into $200 - challenges!)

Proust: I Want That Twink Obliterated

multiple Barry Hannah collections I have lying around

multiple Melville/Moby Dick criticisms I have lying around

multiple Everything Else I have lying around

last year, around this time, I was finishing Flaubert's letters from 1857-1880 and found, not a new years eve letter, but a summer letter to Maupassant which I interpreted for myself as a letter for the new year. Flaubert, that old cunt, along with ordering Maupassant to stop fucking so much and compassionately acknowledging that he is "living in an inferno of shit", counsels:

But from five in the evening to ten in the morning all your time can be devoted to the muse, who is still the best bitch of all.

am I going to do exactly that? no. I'm a monk, not a hedonist, but no. and yet! goals might go out of fashion, but maybe everybody should take some time out and locate their Best Bitch of 2022.

so, here's to 100s of books 2022, one of many fulfilled bitches to come. unless I actually do get my hands on a sjambok, in which case, all best are off.

[sunmoonkunoichi]

A character study on gojou satoru (aka the jujutsu kaisetsu tag is just full of people going horny wild for this dick and I need to correct it)

Names an ultra powerful technique “red”. Genius. Inspired. Not. No matter what fancy words you put in front of it you still culminate in fucking “akai” you dick

Forcibly makes a curse hold hands with him cause he’s a queer person beyond comprehension (the man wears sunglasses inside and sluttily stands in an oversized sweater that slides off his shoulders don’t tell me otherwise) and I respect him greatly for it. Literally lured the fucker in with a smile and “come touch hands with me nothing untoward will happen I swear xx”. King shit

Sets himself up as a teacher for the sole purpose of making a peaceful revolution happen so he doesn’t have to kill every elder and get blacklisted. It’s too much work otherwise. Not the whole murder spree thing. Just being chased down would be annoying

Brings his demon child to work day for “education” but really it’s to flex and get some more hero worship. Child endangerment is not a concept, even if that child is recently resurrected. He grew back some limbs and a heart he will be fine in the heart of a volcano

Most mentors in anime hold back until a vitally important battle of life and death but gojou just wants to show his kids how cool he is!!! Will fight a demon lord for funsies. Bring out his ultimate dimension warping shit to teach a bitch a lesson. His doesn’t give a fuck

Most also down play their power so as to be ‘cool’ but he really goes around saying he could punch out the biggest bad around and only get a little tired. I would want to suplex him for being such a brat but the fucker really is that powerful god fuxking damn it

Everyone goes horny when he’s unmasked but he really just becomes like any other twink white-haired character who has/can/will be traumatised. Past trauma when anime??? I hope it explains why this man is such a bitch and why I love it otherwise the trauma has lied within me all along clearly

Knock-off kakashi who comes late everywhere and replies “places 💕” when people ask where the fuck he’s been. Same vibe as me constantly coming late to class with iced coffee, showing that I knew I was late and still went and got an overpriced beverage rather than sprint to make it. #QueerThings

Really is a gen z bastard boy who picks fights with conservative old fucks by messing with his bosses schedule and showing up just to tell this other school’s principal that the new students (that he hasn’t really taught??? I think??? But u know he will take credit) are gonna kick his ass in another few years. Why are you making threats now?? Here? Those kids are so fuxking stupid they try and kill each other before their fucked up killer sports festival even starts. None of them are thinking about overthrowing the government because none of them are political aware at all. That space is full up with rage at their prejudiced families or idol love. Please don’t trust them with this itadori’s quest in life is to swallow fingers and die he can’t focus on much more

It’s not like I miss him whenever he’s not in an episode it’s more like I worry that he’s doing some batshit crazy thing that’s gonna come up later by getting a child in severe danger. He could also be getting souvenirs but that most likely would be occurring concurrently with a very important mission so is that any better

Is good friends with an ex-salaryman with funky little glasses and an 80s leopard print tie who would aid him in overthrowing the higher ups because he too is anti-authoritarian on top of being anti-capitalist, but he is simply too horny for rules to be properly recruited 

(but this man also happens to hold the unique trait in anime which is to believe that children should not be taking risks over adults which is something gojou has no comprehension of and never will so I will automatically respect the damn salary man over the most op fucker in this show)

Deliberately placed two boys who have made some kind of suicidal save-or-kill-each-other pact right next to each other in the dorm, despite there being plenty of other rooms, well aware they’ll either fuck the feelings out or commit double homicide before the years out. Anything for the teenage drama

Basically in 9 episodes I have learnt to both hate and adore the man in turn but unlike everyone else on this hellsite I would not even be paid to fuck him because he will turn up late for his own damn orgasm and spout some bullshit before trying to immediately leave to go commit more crimes against humanity. I fuxking hate to love him

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right ���flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[pilvimarja]

Ooookay, but where are all the Lawrusso AUs where Johnny and/or Daniel make a sessy adult movie, hmmm? I mean, hello??? It's the 80/90s (floppy-haired 1993 Billy and Ralph for the ultimate buff jock and cute twink aesthetic!!!) and they live in The San P0rnando Valley.

[weirdagnes]

💄RUDOLF’S DRAG RACE AU 🏁

ALRIGHT SO this AU originally started in our Yeah We Outlasting discord server, artists started drawing the characters in drag and I WOKE HMSHD real shit man. So I'm making a masterpost for drag au on behalf of the server✊✊

Outlast 1 = Season 1

Outlast 2 = Season 2

Whistleblower DLC = All Stars

All of the characters and ideas for the characters were written in collab with @gothivican, @panopt1c0n, @grahaam and the rest of the lads in the server, y’all have such beautiful brains. So anyways.

Here are the judges:

Rudolf Wernicke. Lowkey bias, literally goes to the backstage and tells Miles to beat Billy Hope in a lipsync because Billy can't continue on the show for some reason. Has favoritism towards Blaire, but was forced to sashay him away by the other two judges. Also this bitch is dying, literally has a breathing tank support behind his chair.

Pauline Glick. A very sharp critic. Wore the same shoes? Call out. Oh that's your signature makeup? UGLY tone it down. Sorry, the colors don't match, you'll be in the bottom two for that.

Paul Marion. The kindest judge. He will give constructive criticism in the nicest non-offensive way possible and compliment them after (because he would feel guilty about it).

Alice as guest star. Supportive as f u c k, huge fan, she cries when meeting the queens in Untucked. She can't help complimenting the queens every 10 seconds, she gives off the Leslie Jones’ enthusiasm.

Lisa Park as guest star. Like Alice, very supportive. She’s an artist, and will break down all the reasons why they are so good from an artist’s perspective. Crushes HARD on Wyssle Blower, she might’ve given her number after the show.

Lynn Langermann as guest star. She’s a judge, and she will judge. Gives out well constructed criticisms to all queens fair and square until she saw Angel Fromm (Blake) and just says “Wow what’s there to criticize?” Sallyzekiel hates her, Valentina and Angel on the other hand loves her very much.

 Here are the queens:

Miles Upshur as Kill-O-Meter. Primarily an insult comedy and rocker queen, and specializes in dancing. She tends to be criticized for a lack of glamour on some of her main stage looks, and is one of the most dramatic, sarcastic and shady queens of the bunch. Can and will stomp on you in latex boots for money. Besties with Wyssle and Chrisel, gets into a little heated talks with (occasionally) Peacock, (frequently) Ricky and Remy. She adores Cheets’ (Pyro) makeup skills. Winner of season 1 babey!!

Chris Walker as Piggy Chrisel. A punk/grunge queen who seems to specialize moreso in dancing and lip syncing. She's a shy, gentle giant, has a little trouble speaking coherently and it affects her in the acting/impromptu comedy challenges. She will call out whores though, she will kick ass when the situation calls for it. Really good at makeup, makeup girl-friends with Cheeto and besties with Kill O Meter (Latrila vibes). Also a perfectionist and hates mess on her work table.

Rick Trager as Ricky Trix. Whore, that's all. This bitch OBNOXIOUS and shady but she's both a glamour AND comedy queen, the other queens are watching out for her since day one. Horror and '80s inspired queen, extremely good at comedy and acting and will literally stomp the competition with nearly perfect impressions and extremely expressive acting. The downfall for her seems to be glam on the occasion and singing. Rivals with Kill O Meter and Miss Tini, kikis with Remy (they throw shade to other queens the moment they get em)

Father Martin as Miss Tini. The oldest queen but she can still serve the cakes. Generally a kind person, coming from a religious background. She’s takes the drag culture religiously. She gets along with The Twinks.

The Twins as The Twinks. Was recruited as two totally separate queens, but both quit on the first episode when one of the twins were to be eliminated. The queens tell the Twinks apart by who’s bald and who’s not. They don’t vibe with other queens except Miss Tini.

Pyromaniac as Cheeto de LaFlammeo. Queen of Makeup, she has some serious skill range on it. Good in the acting department, always plays as the tragic character. Was rivals with Kill-O Meter before, but one time when she had a breakdown, Kill-O Meter was by her side when no one was. After that, they respected each other.

Billy Hope as Billy Willy. CLOWN QUEEN, huge Crystal Methyd vibes. She’s the youngest queen, very energetic, a ball of SUNSHINE but Wernicke was a bias bitch and sent her home immediately the moment she was in the bottom. She was basically Kill-O Meter and Wyssle Blower's drag child. Hailed as Miss Congeniality, is voted by majority to return for a season 2 for going home a little too early than people feel was deserved. Best at makeup and outfits, her mom Tiffany taught her to sew and make dresses out of rags and other unconventional materials and the skill proved to be helpful. Also she likes puns and everyone likes playing with her name like: Silly Billy Willy, Witty Billy Willy, etc.

....

Waylon Park as Wyssle Blower. The Mom of the queens, the most well rounded queen, and the most 'fishy' one. Probably the smartest and most humble one out of everyone, she can read through people’s bullshit well. Genuinely looks like a girl in full drag, but always does her best on acting. She's serving you a cute, nerdy and quirky style, but can serve horror when need be. Always wins the mini challenges, she's not as loud as the other girls but she does beat Blaire in a lip sync (lowkey badass lipsyncer). Winner of All Stars babey

Jeremy Blaire as Remy Coco Ainée. Pretentious fake ass queen, even her drag name is just Cocaine in fake French. A pure fashion glamour queen, she serves it at almost all the fashion challenges but there's no more personality out of her other than that and her shady attitude (she will not hold back on the shade). Is extremely horrible at singing (her voice cracks) and acting, goes home against a lip sync with Wyssle. This bitch will FLEX her wins. Kikis with Ricky, mainly rivals with Kill O Meter, Wyssle and Peacock but she made everyone her rivals bc of her bitchass attitude.

Eddie Gluskin as Edna Taylor. Fashion queen, specializes in sewing, acting and singing, but is extremely lacking in the dancing department. Has a one-sided endearment for Waylon, and consistently tries to have her attention. Is extremely manipulative too, trying to consistently trip the other queens up. Also everybody hates her mohawk signature wig but nobody says anything about it because they don’t want to be victim to Edna’s mind games.

Frank Manera as Hanni Canni Bahl. Horror queen, best at comedy and dancing. Though it is prohibited, she’s able to sneak in weed, coke (for Ricky) and snacks in the werk room. Very messy when working, her discarded fabrics are EVERYWHERE and Chrisel is fighting the urge to clean it up. She eats while working when the camera’s off, and it stains the dress she’s working on (Pauline notices it).

Dennis as Denise. Mocked as “Edna’s little helper” as she always helps with her dresses. She’s trying too hard to impress Edna, and helps her get Wyssle’s attention. Very talented in acting and sewing, but bland in fashion, lacking in concept. Her inner conflict is what got her eliminated.

Simon Peacock as Julie Peacock. Rebellious, mischievous, and an ex-glam queen gone horror and campy instead. After being insulted much by glam queens (ahemRemyahem), she just embraced it and became a horror queen, serving the judges her horror aesthetic. Best at comedy, lacks extremely on acting and dancing though. No one is safe from her constructive criticism, and she will never stop ranting to Kill O Meter and Wyssle about Remy and Ricky being bad bitches and favored by Wernicke, she thinks it's unfair.

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Blake Langermann as Angel Fromm. Singing queen!! Good at singing, but otherwise is moreso well-rounded, she might've been eliminated earlier, hadn't it been for her also low-key successful and iconic lip syncs. But the lucky winning streak didn't last forever, she goes home later in the season because she's slowly falling behind the other queens and can't keep up anymore. Has Rococo aesthetic, unfortunately the outfits can't make up for the lack of character as a queen. Though she needs a lot of improvement, the guest star Lynn adores her very much.

Val as Valentina. Queen of SEX or moreso impersonations and comedy. She’s a terrible tailor, but likes unconventional and simple fashion designs. She’s trans and lowkey Pauline has a crush on her the moment she walked on that stage. Pure rivals with Sallyzekiel, you know that iconic Aja vs. Valentina in Untucked? They had that moment. Probably goes home earlier, not entirely prepared, but still was a season icon. Definitely dropped it low about 10 times on her lip sync.

Marta as ImMartal. GOTH QUEEN, survived about early mid season. Best at her makeup and looks, glam queen, but the judges criticize her for wearing the same wigs/having the same hairstyle for almost every looks.

Nick Tremblay as Nicky Lanterns. Another gentle giant. Very introverted, she has a difficult time socializing with other girls because she’s generally not a very loud person. Really bad at makeup, her fashion sense is somewhat okay but it’s always on the ‘safe’ level. Pretty good at slapstick comedy, writing and concepts tho. It’s a wonder how Nicky and Lard Imp became “friends,” they’re complete opposites.

Laird Byron as Lard Imp. Whore, Exhibit B. Extremely rude, louder than Remy and Ricky themselves, and has a weird love/hate obsession with Angel for some reason. Everyone hates her, even Rudolf himself, and Lard Imp isn’t her original drag name but ultimately they came to a point where they just called her Lard Imp. Constantly denies the judges’ and the queens’ critiques, very delusional about winning the season and that’s why she’s the first one eliminated.

Sullivan Knoth as Sallyzekiel. The Big Bad Bitch of the season. Ultimate rivals with Valentina, constantly bullies Angel. Marta used to be friends with her, but after talking shit on Valentina, she says fuck you and defended Val. Glam queen, has an affinity for shoes but damn girl terrible makeup and padding. Really good with speech, acting and impromptu.

So far, here are the character designs we have made!

(1) Blake and Trager by @/pan0pt1con

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Waylon, Chris, Simon, Eddie, Miles and Jeremy by @/gothivican

(1) Billy, Miles, Chris, Wernicke, Pauline, Paul and Alice by @/weirdagnes