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the-interplay-of-sex-and-violins · 10 months ago

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Kelyn

Lolth-sworn(ish) Drow

Assassin/Bard

Daddy's Favorite Murder Prince (until he's not)

Desperately struggling to be chaotic good, at least he has the "chaotic" part down

Menzoberranzan

Once upon a time in Menzoberranzan a bit over a century ago, the matron of House Zauvirr--a small but ambitious noble house--fell spontaneously pregnant. She thought nothing of it, having not been a particularly chaste woman, and in time gave birth to a boy by the name of Kelyn.

From birth, Kelyn was marked as unusual, having naturally black hair and vitiligo; normally such defects would be the end of any boy-child's story in Menzoberranzan, but Kelyn's mother was keen to keep as many people for her house as possible, and since Kelyn was her second-born son and might yet prove useful despite his flaws, she allowed him to live...for now.

Kelyn was given to his older sister, Alythara, to raise, which she struggled to do as she was constantly fighting her own innately kind nature vs. what was expected of her. Despite having to be harsher than she'd like (to keep Kelyn from being taken from her and given to a "better" guardian, likely one of their more vicious older sisters), the two developed a bond, as Kelyn himself was a sweet boy when allowed to be. From the moment he could manage it he was taught Disguise Self for the purposes of "fixing" his coloration to hide his vitiligo and natural hair color, and had it literally beaten into him to never let it slip.

When Kelyn was seven, he was separated from Alythara and caught alone by a would-be assassin. Contrary to what everyone expected, Kelyn killed the man himself--and furthermore, was entirely unbothered by the event, and in fact found a great deal of pleasure in the whole thing. Nobody knows who hired the assassin--though the scant evidence pointed to a potential rival house...or possibly Kelyn's own matron, as some manner of test.

Either way, the event caught the attention of everyone in House Zauvirr, and it was quickly decided that they should capitalize on the boy's apparent talent for murder and train him as an assassin. He was taken from Alythara's care, and for a time she saw little of him.

Kelyn excelled at the training, though he was impatient to put it to use, now that he'd tasted blood. His first job as a newly-trained assassin was in his early teens, to eliminate a member of a rival house. It was emphasized that if he botched any part of it, he would have to kill everyone--this was intended to impress on him the need for perfection, and to emphasize that if he got into trouble, he was alone and hopelessly outnumbered.

He instead took it as a suggestion.

When he did make a minor slip, he then proceeded to do as he'd been told: to kill everyone. By the time he left, the house had been reduced to flayed bodies and strung-up viscera and little else, and Kelyn was positively beaming.

So was his mother, once she got over the shock of how the job had gone.

Kelyn spent the next seventy or so years as his house's pet assassin, building a reputation for both himself and House Zauvirr: nobody knew his exact identity because nobody who saw him working ever survived, and word got around about House Zauvirr's viciously efficient and brutal new killer.

It was when he was around eighty that he discovered his skill for music, entirely by accident. As it turned out, Kelyn's talent for murder was only matched by his talent for music, particularly strings, and most especially violin...and in using music as a means to manipulate magic. This, too, was quickly encouraged, as use of a bard's magic and skills would only be a boon to his assassination work.

The problem, however, is that music had another affect on him: it quieted the urges that bade him to kill.

With something finally quieting the Urge ever since it had arose in him, Kelyn could finally look back on his past with a clear head...and he was horrified by the things he'd done, and worse, taken joy in doing. But now he was at an impasse: if he didn't continue to perform as he had, he would become dead weight to his house and thus be culled. So, for a time, he tried to manage: to do what he had been raised for, and to try not to let it tear him apart in the process.

Alythara found him again one day when he'd retreated to a hiding place to have a mental breakdown, and in that moment, the two reconnected: she recognized the baby brother she'd thought she'd lost in him and that he, like her, hated Menzoberranzan and what it had turned him into, and Kelyn found someone like him so he wasn't entirely alone. The two quickly became each other's confidants and only friends, and occasionally floated the idea of escaping together, though neither was willing to risk it.

Until one day Kelyn disappeared after a job. It was unlikely he was dead: his body wasn't found, and while it was possible he had been fatally injured and made sure to die elsewhere so as not to implicate his house, his skill made it unlikely. Alythara searched every place she knew he might go, only to find a few of his things missing, and a note left for her.

All it said was "I'm sorry".

The Surface and Baldur's Gate

Kelyn fled to the surface after snapping under the pressure of his innate nature vs. the things he was forced to do. There, he immediately set to reinventing himself: he leaned fully into his actual passion, music, and got by as a bard with an uncommon skill with knives. He spent a few years aggressively and selflessly doing good wherever possible and surrounding himself with art and music, in part as an attempt to make up for his blood-soaked past, and in part to suppress the Urge, since now that he knew what it would make him do, he needed to suppress it at all costs.

One day, he met a tiefling girl of about five. Her name was Yurissa, and she couldn't tell him much more than that: she was an orphan, and too young to recall the exact circumstances around her orphaning. She quickly took a liking to Kelyn and refused to leave his side, and before long he was forced to accept that she'd adopted him.

It wasn't long after that that the Bhaalists found him, with Sceleritas Fel in their midst. He had, in fact, already avoided them multiple times, having mistaken them from agents from Menzoberranzan intent on dragging him back: instead, they were keen to tell him their actual plan: to bring him home to Baldur's Gate and the Temple of Bhaal, because he was a Bhaalspawn. He was, in fact, the Bhaalspawn: his father's greatest creation, molded from his own dead flesh to enact his will.

Kelyn would have refused, if not for Yurissa. Life was hard for a drow thrust suddenly into the surface world, much less one who had suddenly found himself with a young girl to raise and no clue how to do that; the Temple offered him a chance to provide a more stable life for her, at the cost of his morals and sanity. More to the point, the Urge gnawed at him constantly, and it often targeted Yurissa: perhaps if he fed it with other victims, it would be content to leave her unharmed.

So he and Yurissa moved to Baldur's Gate, and he took up the mantle as Bhaal's Chosen.

To the public eye (and Yurissa) Kelyn was simply a friendly, social bard, trying to get by (and managing decently enough) and raising his adopted daughter. Behind the scenes, he fell back on the profession he knew, assassination, and led Bhaal's cult of murder, losing pieces of himself with every kill. He still fought the Urge when he could, surrounding himself in art and music even in the Temple itself, but less and less as Bhaal's will slowly ground the fight out of him.

A couple years later, he got an invitation from one Enver Gortash, who wished to meet Bhaal's scion and see if they could strike up a partnership that suited both of their interests. Intrigued, Kelyn agreed, and before long the two were fast friends, despite their opposing gods and strictly-business relationship. It was impossible to deny the physical attraction between them, which quickly gave way to an intellectual attraction and deep respect as they proved themselves to one another. Eventually, one night, it came to a head and they ended up in bed together: the two of them emerged from it bloodied, dazed, and thoroughly unrepentant.

The exact nature of Kelyn and Gortash's relationship wasn't clear to anyone who knew them, but it became common to see them together. In private, the two wouldn't have called themselves a couple, but they were also the only constant in each other's lives: Gortash originally wanted largely to possess Bhaal's Chosen and prove his dominance over him, only to be caught off guard by how much he genuinely respected and admired the man for himself. Some part of him recognized the monster in Kelyn and loved it, and was almost as eager to encourage it as he was to hold the monster's leash.

Kelyn, for his part, found a certain safety he'd never known before in someone who knew what he was, accepted it whole-heartedly, and even loved him for it. And if a monster was all he would ever be, then why not at least find someone who loved the monster? Beyond that: if someone could hold his leash, maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about who he might hurt. If Enver wanted it, he was willing to hand it over; he didn't trust any other hand to hold tightly enough. Besides, sex was another thing that helped quiet the Urge for a time, and since it was now on offer from someone he could trust might be able to protect themselves from him...why not?

A decade or so passed, and during that decade, Kelyn's blood-sister Orin seethed. She already hated her brother for many reasons, primarily his weakness, his love for Yurissa that was most unbecoming of a Bhaalspawn, and his ineffective, stubborn attempts to resist their father's call. Nonetheless, Kelyn was his father's son, and too powerful for her to simply kill: he refused to recognize an official challenge from her, and the closest she ever got to provoking him was when she once threatened Yurissa's life a bit too openly and he nearly carved her up right there in the Temple.

And now he was cavorting about with a Banite, of all things, and getting weak for him as well as the girl.

When Kelyn went to Moonrise Towers one day to check on the progress there, Orin followed and ambushed her brother. She chiseled his skull open, stuffed a mindflayer tadpole into the crack, and left him to die or be enthralled; she took his dagger and left him with just his violin, so all he had left to him was the symbol of his weakness.

#Swan sings #Kelyn #words #oc lore #this is probably part one of ???#because my wrists hurt and also it's big enough as it is and this is just the pre-game backstory

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the-interplay-of-sex-and-violins · 1 year ago

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I'm just going to answer these because nobody will ask and also nobody knows I exist anyway!

Did you want to hear about a drow twink today? No? Well you're gonna!

Part one!

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass? Kelyn is an assassin/bard. His first kill was when he was 7, because someone had been hired to assassinate him--it's unclear if it was a rival noble family or his own mother trying to kill him. Either way, his skill at murder got his mother to fast-track his education as an assassin himself, and by his teens he was his house's favorite killer and infamous in Menzoberranzan for his brutality, efficiency, and creativity. When he was in his 80s, he discovered he was a natural savant with music, especially violin, which similarly was immediately co-opted by his mother as an addition to his tools as an assassin, giving him access to some useful magic as well as an easy way to get close to targets.

Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single? In Menzoberranzan, likely no romantic relationships (although he's hinted at some sexual experience he actively does not want to elaborate on). For the short time on the surface before he ended up in Baldur's Gate, there may have been the occasional dalliance, but nothing serious or steady. In Baldur's Gate, he and Gortash quickly became enamored with each other after they started working together. It likely started as something non-serious and mostly physical, with shades of using one another; Gortash using sex as a tool to manipulate Kelyn, Kelyn using it as a coping mechanism to repress the Urge, and both of them in it out of genuine physical attraction to each other. But eventually it turned into a sort of toxic co-dependence where they both make each other worse and also need each other, and there was actual feeling there...but how much is unclear, and ultimately they probably would have both been ready to betray each other for their goals if necessary (though Kelyn would have only betrayed Gortash if Bhaal demanded it and gave him no other choice, and Gortash fully intended to keep Kelyn as his partner for as long as he possibly could--ideally, indefinitely). It's also probably extremely likely much of Gortash's attraction to Kelyn was in recognizing how much of a monster he was, and in being the one who held his leash, at least part of the time; for Kelyn, being leashed was a comfort, because at least someone might have some control of him, and being able to be honest about his nature was itself a relief.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate? He'd like to think its his violin skills, but realistically would probably say its his ability to manipulate people. Both are accurate; he's not the greatest violinist in the world, but he's extremely naturally skilled, and he's got a very good knack for reading people.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate? Definitely the whole "he loves murder, a lot" thing. It's definitely his most excitingly deadly flaw, anyway!

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods? Ambiguous, leaning negative. He's had very little proof of the "good" gods doing anything worth a damn, and the "bad" ones seem all too eager to involve themselves in his life. The events of the game also soured him to gods in general, with specific dislike for Mystra and Shar (and, of course, Bhaal). Mostly he'd just like them all to leave him--and his friends--alone.

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss? Mostly just with confusion and vague alarm; he doesn't remember enough to remember how to feel about it. He thought it was a side effect of the tadpole at first, as well as the Urges, and when it became apparent it wasn't, that alarmed him a fair bit more...but it wasn't exactly something he could immediately do anything about, either.

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options? Only in bits and pieces, which is helped by Alythara reminding him of some. She intentionally left out the worst parts that she thought would only cause him pain; and based on what Kelyn does recall, he doesn't blame her and is grateful not to remember specifics; he knows enough to know being a boy in Menzoberranzan was not pleasant. He tries to focus on the comforting, good parts he does remember.

How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness? It's alright. He's no druid or ranger, but he appreciates nature and specifically how much calmer and emptier it can be than a city. But, at the same time, he does enjoy the benefits of civilization.

How does your Dark Urge feel about the city? He's much more at home in the city than not, having been in one pretty much his entire life. He usually prefers the energy of having other people around, but is simultaneously afraid of having so many potential victims near him.

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole? Kelyn's already got enough brain problems and reasons to fear he's a legitimate danger to those around him; he has absolutely no desire to aggravate that by becoming more ilithid, thank you very much. Besides, he has little control of his own mind as it is, and he's desperate to keep whatever grasp on it he can.

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge? His innate nature is to be a kind, gentle man who doesn't want to hurt people without necessity; Bhaal's influence smothers that and can hide it, but Kelyn's aware of it now, and disgusted by the things he does when he gives in. As such, he's hyper-aware of it at all times, and fighting tooth and nail to resist.

How does your Dark Urge feel about being a Bhaalspawn? He hates it and the realization terrifies him, and he mostly tries not to think about it in a "if I think about this too long I'll give in to despair" kind of way.

How does your Dark Urge feel about killing? Without Bhaal's influence, Kelyn dislikes killing but understands sometimes it's a necessity, or some people simply need to die. It's always an option, but almost never the first one. With Bhaal's influence, though, he loves it, and enjoys toying with victims; usually he prefers to play cat-and-mouse with them and kill them decisively once he gets bored, but torture is always available as a choice too, if you're really special!

How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying? Very good, and he has no significant qualms about it, though he prefers to bend the truth or exaggerate rather than outright lie. He still tends to be truthful rather than not, however; he just will lie if he feels the need.

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear? Not being able to resist the Urge at a crucial moment, and actually harming or killing someone he loves.

Intermission. Pet an owlbear.

Now, part two:

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire? To be rid of the Urge.

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret? Alfira. He genuinely really liked and bonded with her in the short time they knew each other, and in another life they would have been really good friends; her murder was a devastating wake-up call for him about how serious and real the Urge is, and it's always going to be a thing that haunts him.

How does your Dark Urge feel about love? About like most people, I assume. More specifically, he thinks it's a lovely idea...but applied to himself, well, he's worried what someone getting close to him means for them, once he realizes how deadly his Urges are. At the same time, though, he fears without those connections, he'd lose himself entirely: it's his bonds with Alythara, Yurissa, and eventually Astarion that encouraged him to fight it at all, instead of inevitably being worn down by Bhaal.

Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not? Oh hai Astarion! Initially, Kelyn and Astarion didn't exactly like each other; Astarion outright disliked him and thought he was an obnoxious do-gooder with no sense of how bad the world actually is, Kelyn thought Astarion was a slimy, shady ass but he was funny and kind of pretty and he didn't think he had a reason to distrust him yet. This quickly devolved into belligerent, snarky flirting that actually went somewhere, and they graduated to frenemies-with-benefits, and eventually they began to realize each other's hidden depths and how much they actually had in common; particularly, Astarion realized Kelyn is not as naïve or innocent as he thought, and Kelyn realized Astarion's got a hell of a tragic backstory he wants to help with. Before long it became something real, with both of them functioning to ground the other and believe they could each be better than they thought they were. Once they're an established couple, they're rather disgustingly and obviously in love, although Kelyn is more obvious; Astarion tends to deflect and downplay his affection with snark and sarcasm, especially in front of an audience, and while Kelyn happily plays along, he also tends to exhibit more puppy-dog devotion.

Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why? Kelyn mentioned it lightly a few times, but quickly clammed up when others brushed it off, and keeps it to himself as long as possible (right up until he nearly kills Astarion) out of fear he's going mad and nobody will take that revelation well. A large part of it is shame and self-loathing, too, for the thoughts he has about the people around him. Once it's a known fact, he'll talk about it...but he doesn't like to, because it makes other people uncomfortable and he's still deeply ashamed of having those thoughts at all. He's most comfortable discussing it with Alythara (who knew about it, and had hoped the tadpole cured him of it, like it cured Astarion of his vampiric weaknesses) and Astarion (who accepts it more readily and tends to treat it less seriously than everyone else, often with humor).

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to? How 'bout I just leave this here. Technically it's Kelstarion, so a bit of Kel, a bit of Astarion, a fair bit of both. However, special commendation goes to Kiss Me You Animal, History Will Not Repeat, and Pretty Pills for Broken Hearts.

What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers? The immediate impression is likely to be intimidated, because he's a drow in dark clothing. But he very quickly comes across as warm, cheerful, and friendly once you actually speak to him, and if you're in any kind of distress, very kind and understanding.

How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them? In general he's not overly concerned unless it's hindering him, but he's very conscious of the fact that he tends to intimidate people at first and exaggerates his natural friendliness a bit to head it off.

Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general? His violin. It's the very first one he ever had, and he values it more than just about anything (possibly including his own life)--playing music helps soothe and quiet the Urges, and it's his main coping mechanism to keep from giving in. His violin is thus both a means of self-expression, and more importantly a lifeline to keep from being dragged into the darkness trying to swallow him, as well as a symbol of his ability to resist at all.

How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel? He loathes the little bastard and wants him the hell away from himself and anyone he cares about.

How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal? Kelyn wants to hate him, and mostly does, but hating a god is like hating a hurricane; largely pointless and a waste of energy. He'd rather be using that energy to do some good in the world, or perhaps something in particular that would spite his father.

How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders? If they're reasonable and not worded too rudely, he's fine taking orders. He's more likely to object if it's not coming from a woman, though; he's subconsciously still running off his conditioning to fear and respect women without question, and he tends to default to that. As for giving, he doesn't really feel like he deserves that authority, but he essentially has "muscle memory" from leading Bhaal's cult, so he slips into it easily without thinking. He does still wonder why the hell people keep looking to him to lead, though.

How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure? Surprisingly well, at least outwardly. He may need to freak out a bit afterwards, however. He's decent at compartmentalizing, though, and setting aside his stress to blow up on him at a later, more convenient moment.

What advice would you give to your Dark Urge? Hug your boyfriend more, he needs it and so do you. It'll be okay.

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game? His biggest concern is to find a way to give Astarion the sun back, and ideally to mitigate his other vampiric weaknesses if the opportunity presents itself. Beyond that, he'd like to settle down and just have a relatively-normal life for once, but Astarion takes precedence.

30 Questions for your Dark Urge

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Tav edition here)

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the city?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn?

How does your Dark Urge feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret?

How does your Dark Urge feel about love?

Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?

How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them?

Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

#Swan sings #Kelyn #so here's the reason I made this sideblog lol #to post this kinna stuff without annoying people

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