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violettelueur · 4 years ago

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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE ELEVEN || NARROW-MINDED

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + nanami kento + ieiri shoko (mention of itadori yuji + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + roymen sukuna + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda + mahito) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 12 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.0k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : idle transfiguration

↳ next episode : to you, someday

↳ barista’s notes : welcome nanamin kento to the series everyone ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ he’s finally in the series and i am so excited to write about him again since it has been a while ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode and for the fushiguro x y/n shippers, enjoy this little interaction between them...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“No reason, just worried about you,” Fushiguro mentioned, hiding his real intention of why he questioned your wellbeing, as continued to look at what was in front of him to avoid making eye contact with you since he could feel your eyes peering at him with curiosity filling them.

Sighing once again, you slap the back of his head causing him to groan since you put more strength than you intended to. “You shouldn’t worry about me Fushiguro, be selfish,” you commented before walking faster to be ahead of him, leaving him confused about what you had just mentioned to him.

“Be selfish?” Fushiguro muttered in confusion leading you to turn back to look over your shoulder before smiling at him.

“You were going to take me there right?” you asked, as you halted your movement causing the shikigami user to finally catch up to you while you had a lingering question in the back of your mind.

‘What was that dream?’

ꕥ

“Didn’t I say you can head back to the track field, we’re literally a few steps away?” you asked, as you stood in front of the metal door leading inside to the infirmary while looking at your classmate with a fed-up look since he wasn’t listening to you once again.

“I said, I was going to take you here and now I’m going to wait for you here,” Fushiguro mentioned as he processed to lean against the wall, causing you to let out a sigh of frustration since you didn’t have the slightest clue on his sudden behaviour of him keeping an eye on you.

“If you’re still worried about my wellbeing, I’m okay Fushiguro,” you voice out trying to ease his worries, before turning your head to look at the door in front of you as you then entered the infirmary room the second the metal door slid open. “Thank you for waiting for me,” you quietly muttered to the shikigami sorcerer as the entrance that was going to block you both, slowly began to close leaving him on the other side, no knowing what was going on inside of where you were now.

Once you had entered the room, you quickly noticed that Ieiri was there twirling a strand of her brown lock with her ibex finger as she greeted you with a small smile, while another person - who you assumed was another sorcerer - who was beside her sitting on the metal bench while holding the side of his hip to lessen the blood loss from his wound.

From what you could observe, the male that was currently injured right now had bright blonde locks, which was strange since it was rare or uncommon for a Japanese person to have naturally light hair (since it didn’t seem dyed) causing you to assume the man had some European heritage. He also seemed to be on the older side compared to Gojo since he had somewhat of a more mature look to the strongest sorcerer that you had come to know but his outfit consisted of a blue dress-shirt with beige suit trousers as well as the professional dress shoes - what seemed to be missing was a blazer to complete the outfit.

“So you're the daughter that Gojo has been talking about lately,” the man mentioned, causing you to tilt your head in confusion since you had no idea who the man was, but he seemed to know who you were.

“Pardon?” you questioned politely since you were still in a state of perplexion, causing your mentor to giggle slightly before informing you that your teacher has been running around announcing his daughter after “keeping it a secret for 5 years” leading you to turn your head to the side and sigh once again in annoyance since you weren’t surprised that the playful sorcerer was parading your name around the facility but still it seemed a little creepy to you - just imagine him skipping around while telling everyone about you just seemed off...weirdly off.

‘What a drag…’

“Ah! I’ll heal you now since we don’t want to leave the wound open any longer,” you mentioned, as you made your way towards the sorcerer before placing your hands just above his wound while concentrating to allow your negative cursed energy to become positive which became easier over time as you kept practising leading Ieiri to be surprised on how much you had improved for the past few weeks.

“Gojo Y/N correct? I’m Nanami Kento, I would bow to be polite but that’s a bit difficult to do right now,” Nanami introduced himself, causing you to smile slightly before greeting him back.

‘So this is Nanami Kento? Shoko-san wasn’t kidding when she said he was a grade one, he does seem to be extremely skilled’

“Y/N, your theory was right about the technique used on those bodies, Kento mentioned that the technique reshapes the soul rather than the body of what we first thought,” Ieiri revealed to you, leading you to look up at the doctor with widen eyes as you hands managed to continue the healing process of Nanami’s wounds.

“Is there any way to stop the transfiguration of any sorts? Is there some kind of weakness to it?” you questioned, as you turned to the grade one sorcerer, leading him to nod as he turned to look at you.

“The use of cursed energy to protect your body is one way, but it will still cause some damage, besides that’s just a temporary solution since if we get hit more by this special grade curse, then that’s when our soul gets hit no matter how much cursed energy you put to protect yourself,” Nanami explained which lead you to look at him with a deadpan expression before you looked down to think of a solution to avoid any more casualties from this curse.

‘The only thing I can think of is Ryomen Sukuna...but Itadori is dead and there is no way that Sukuna can be inhibiting his body now anyways…my cursed spell could be a way to protect myself if it comes to the day I have to face him’

“Do you have a description of what the curse looked like?” you asked curiously since you didn’t know if you were even allowed to have any information on his mission - but you knew you had a chance since you and Ieiri examined the transfigured bodies from Kinema Cinema.

“The curse was human looking like, had patchwork around his face like it he was sewed together, he can transfigure is own body to how he likes to give him an advantage in battle,” Nanami explained leading a shiver to go up to your spine as you didn’t expect the curse’s description to be so human-like after Sukuna since you were completely used to other curses you had faced in the past, looking like what people feared - like the ocean animals, mountains, volcanos or even nature itself.

Steadily, you moved your hands away before asking Nanami to lift his shirt so you could examine his wound leading Ieiri to observe as well since she needed to make sure that your technique had been perfected as well as to make sure his wound was healed properly.

“Good job, I think you have nearly perfected it,” the doctor stated with a smile, leading you to turn to her with a bright smile on your face as you were delighted to have her approval leading her to mention that she will report your progress to Gojo since he wanted to know how you were doing with your training.

“You don’t call Gojo your father?” Nanami questioned since he had come to know from his senior that you have been his daughter for approximately five years now leading him to question why you didn’t call him as his parental figure position.

“I refuse,” you looked at him with a straight face as a slight hint of a ‘fed-up’ tone could be heard in your speech, leading Nanami to internally find the comment funny.

“Thank you for the treatment, but I must quickly head off to resume work,” Nanami declared as he slowly got up from his seat causing him to be surprised at how much your technique had actually repaired not only his wound by somewhat his whole body as well leaning him to peer at you for a second before walking out to head whatever he needed to be.

“Y/N, you can go now, if I need you, I’ll call you next time okay?” Ieiri stated to you, leading you to nod your head before announcing your departure as you processed to stand in front of the metal door, waiting for it to open as you then walked across the gap once it revealed the other side to you.

“You’re done?” someone asked, causing you to look to the side to notice that Fushiguro was still leading against the wall that he was waiting before you had entered into the infirmary to which you were surprised about since you thought he didn’t have the patience to even wait for you.

“You’re still here? Did you wait long?” you questioned, as you both began to walk back to the track field where Kugisaki and the second-years were waiting for you.

“Not really, it was actually quicker than I thought it was going to be,” Fushiguro mentioned causing you to nod along and you both became silent as you both didn’t know what else to say to each other.

However, that didn’t really bother you right now, what was bothering you was what happened before you even came here.

‘Why? Why was I dreaming that in the first place?’ you thought, as you looked down to the ground as if the answer was there for you to collect. However, you knew you would never get the answer if you didn’t make the effort to find it yourself, yet you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to know the meaning behind it. You just wanted to forget everything that happened in that dream.

‘There’s no point in holding on to it, it would never happen’

“You okay?” Fushiguro asked, causing you to snap out of your thoughts before realising the shikigami user was no longer beside you but rather in front of you with a stern look on his face as if he was confronting you for somewhat giving him a white-lie.

‘He’s not going to let that question go huh?’

“I’m okay Fushiguro, how many times I got to answer,” you commented before moving to the side to continue walking, only for the erratic-haired sorcerer to block your pathway once again leading a flame of annoyance to be lit up in your stomach. “What’s wrong?” you asked, as you looked up to meet him eye to eye, only to discover a worried look on his face.

“There’s something bothering you,” Fushiguro muttered causing you to scoff internally before moving to the other side again, only for him to block you once again.

“Fushiguro, I’m fine, it was just something silly that happened with Gojo-sensei that annoyed me, I’m genuinely fine,” you answered before suddenly grabbing his wrist - catching him by surprise - to pull him towards the direction needed to go back to the track field for training, as you didn’t want a full-blown argument happening between you and him. Also, you weren’t bothered to shout at him since you were still trying to comprehend what you had just experienced.

However, before you could pull Fushiguro further to where you both needed to be, you felt him halt his movement causing you to stagger back slightly since it was really unexpected. Turning your head, you looked at the sorcerer with slight confusion displayed on your face before noticing a hand coming towards you as a small flick made a light impact on your forehead leaving you frozen in shock.

“You can rely on me anytime L/N,” Fushiguro mentioned to you nonchalantly as he retreated his hand back.

“Dear, rely on me a bit more, I’ll always be here with you and sorry for flicking your forehead, does it hurt?”

“You drag, don’t copy me!” you argued, before slapping his forehead causing him to groan in pain while you continued to pull him along to get back to training.

‘I want to, but I don’t want to be lied to again Fushiguro…’

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messers-moony · 4 years ago

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Devotion: Chapter One | F.H

Paring: Five Hargreeves X Fem!Reader (Series)

Summary: In which the Hargreeves siblings come together to stop the end of the world.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Umbrella Academy. All rights go to the creators of the show, the comics and everyone in between. Gifs used in these chapters are NOT mine and are/were found on Pinterest.

Warnings: Cursing, Sex, Nudity, Violence, Gore, Alcohol, Drugs, Smoking, Intense Scenes, and Abuse (if I missed any let me know)

—Crying Clouds

❝Ah yes, bow to me, peasants.❞

Perhaps it was always this gloomy, or maybe the city mourning too.

Everything seemed darker. The sky was graphite, and the water dripping from the clouds landed in sad puddles on the surface, depleting before they could fill. Despite that, her heart stayed full. It continued to beat in a symphony, and the sky continued to cry while the girl in the big house’s smile grew three times the size.

Was it wrong to feel so relieved that her father had died? She didn’t think so; in fact, she didn’t think at all anymore.

She could remember when she got the news. There was no grand gesture. There was no family announcement. It was during breakfast when she was called to her father’s office. It was on the second story besides his bedroom, which was forbidden. The bedroom was to be entered by nobody, and punishment would ensue if someone were found inside.

Her heart pounded as she climbed the stairs from the basement to the first floor. It rattled as she climbed the steps to the second. It almost stopped as she approached the door. The door itself was usually locked tight with a deadbolt; this time, it was wide open, allowing the dust from the bookshelves to spread across the entire house.

The office was a square and was filled to the brim with antique-looking objects. There was a fireplace behind the desk in the center of the room with a self-portrait of Sir Reginald Hargreeves in the center of it. The square maroon carpet on the ground looked dull with dust on top. The surface of the antique desk was cluttered to the brim with parchment and different inventions.

Pogo, a chimpanzee, stood behind the desk chair. He was an older man who was beginning to grey around the edges. He wasn’t very tall either, roughly about 2 feet and 5 inches. His glasses laid low on his nose, and he put all his weight onto his wooden cane. The poor man was always slouched over the wooden stick. It almost made the girl sympathetic. She, herself, knew what that was like.

“Miss Hargreeves, you’ve made it.” His voice was always so calm; it irked her.

She rolled her shoulders back, “Well, too be fair, it isn’t that much of a walk.”

“Sarcasm will get you nowhere.” Pogo informed as he moved his glasses further up his nose, “I believe you’ve gotten in trouble many times for it.”

“Well, pardon me, sir.” She retorted, “But I don’t see Mr. Hargreeves anywhere, so I’m allowed to do whatever I want.”

Pogo had an indescribable expression on his face; it almost looked like pride, “It is comical that you bring up Mr. Hargreeves.”

“I don’t find it funny.” She muttered.

“Well, it appears that Mr. Hargreeves will never be back.”

“Can you spit it out? Why are you being so cryptic?”

“Mr. Hargreeves is dead, Miss Hargreeves.”

A gleeful smile appeared on her face, “You’re- You’re not joking, are you?”

“I think you’ll find I’m completely serious.”

“This is wonderful!”

Pogo stomped his cane to catch the gleeful girl’s attention, “This is no joyful moment, Y/n. Your father is dead.”

“I know!” Y/n smiled, “We should celebrate!”

Y/n didn’t waste a second before skipping with glee out of the room. Pogo watched as she twirled around to the steps. Pogo always admired her strength and ability to get words out, whether they were hurtful or not. She didn’t waste any time. Pogo could still hear Reginald’s words in his ear, “She’s the key.”

It wasn’t long until the house was filled with life again. The next day some of the Hargreeves siblings appeared. Y/n sat on the main entrance steps waiting for them. The entrance hall had tile flooring and dark wood walls. The stairs were the same dark oak, and they were always glossed. A man entered the double doors early in the morning.

He was muscular and tall. His hair was buzzed, and it was blond. His eyes were sky blue, and his face looked more defined than it did as a child. His eyes wandered the foyer until he met eyes with the girl on the stairs. He seemed visibly scared at the sight of her.

“Good morning, Luther.”

“Good morning, Y/n.”

Luther smiled tightly, “I’m sure you’ve heard the news.”

“Which one?” Y/n queried, “The fact that you’ve been on the moon for four years, dad dying, or the fact that you look fucking huge?”

Luther didn’t answer. Instead, he walked to the kitchen. Y/n sighed and threw a tennis ball at the wall. The ball landed in the middle of the room. Y/n stared at the ball and let out her hand. The tennis ball flew into her palm without any movement. Y/n smiled.

The house was still eerily quiet when Y/n went to her bedroom to wait for her other siblings. She still couldn’t shake the look on Pogo’s face when she said she could do whatever she wanted. She contemplated for a while until she heard two female voices down in the foyer. Y/n jumped up and began to walk to the stairs.

She could see both females and one other male. Allison had grown taller since she had left home, and her hair was now bleach blonde. She wore a designer blue shirt with black flared pants and some heels. Vanya seemed the same height, but she looked just as gorgeous. She wore a leather jacket and black undershirt with black jeans. Her sneakers looked years old.

The male, Diego, was wearing all black as well. It was a black turtle neck and some gear across his chest. His knives were tucked securely in his belt that held up his black pants. His shoes looked covered in sand or wood dust. Y/n only caught the end of their conversation as Diego began climbing up the stairs.

“Way to dress for the occasion, by the way,” Allison called from the middle of the foyer.

Diego barely paid her any mind as he hit the landing, “At least I’m wearing black.”

“Nice to know some of us haven’t changed,” Y/n commented as she hit the landing of the stairs.

Diego smiled at her and ruffled her hair gently. Allison and Vanya turned to look at the girl. Y/n felt uncomfortable staring at them, who looked thirty and were thirty. Allison smiled at her warmly, and Vanya didn’t look surprised.

“Y/n.” The girls called.

“Ah yes, bow to me, peasants.“ Y/n grinned.

Y/n wasn’t in contact with many of the former residents. On occasion, she’d stay with Vanya, but she lived with Diego in his little room in a smelly gym on most days. Allison appeared to be the only one in shock, while Vanya and Diego seemed happy to see her again. Once the room seemed to resume, Diego went up the final steps to the second story.

“Are we four the only ones here?”

“Five, actually.” Y/n corrected, “Luther’s somewhere.”

Allison nodded, “Thank you. I guess I’ll go to try and find him.”

Her heels clicked as she walked on the tile to the living room. Allison’s curly hair bounced as she walked, and her hips swayed like she was walking on a red carpet. Vanya still stood in the center of the foyer, fiddling with her hands. Y/n walked down the last couple of steps and stood before her sister.

“So, how’s the violin going?”

Vanya smiled, relieved, “Great, I think we’re having a show soon if you’d like to attend.”

“I’d love to!” Y/n replied happily, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You’re the only one who comes to them anyway.” Vanya replied, “I appreciate it.”

Y/n went to reply, but she heard a thud from the second story. Her curiosity was peaked, and Vanya chuckled at the look on her face. Without another word, Y/n went to the room where she thought she heard the noise. On her way to the room, she found herself staring at a portrait. It was the last portrait of them altogether.

“The children are ready for bed, sir. They wanted to say goodnight.“ Grace said, smiling from ear to ear.

“I didn’t really want to say goodnight.“ Y/n retorted, annoyed as she rolled her eyes.

Grace walked over to the sliding doors, her pink heels clicking on the wood floor and pink polka-dotted skirt flowing. Her shoulder-length blonde hair stayed unmoving, and her white shirt was perfectly smooth. She opened the door to reveal eight children wearing the same matching pair of light blue pajamas. She stood aside and walked as Reginald continued to write in his journal.

The kids stood there and watched as Reginald wrote in his journal. The experience was nothing new. Grace tried to make the kids say goodnight every evening, but Reginald Hargreeves never looked up from his writings. It made Grace feel sad that Reginald was so absent in the children’s lives, but it wasn’t her choice.

“Okay! Time for bed now, kids. Come along now.“ She said, ushering the kids out from the doorway and into their rooms.

Y/n left. She had no reason to stand there and watch her father write bullshit into a journal. It was a routine to try and say goodnight to their father, but he never batted them an eye. Y/n just wanted to sleep after an extended mission. Not deal with her idiotic father.

Y/n continued walking down the hallway until she reached the office again. She pushed the doors open, causing a rush of air to her face. Her h/c hair flowed behind her, and squinting her e/c eyes. Inside the office was Allison, Luther, and a third male, Klaus. Klaus was standing in front of the desk with an assortment of antiques on the ground beneath his feet. Luther was standing sternly, and Allison seemed amused.

Klaus was always getting into trouble as a kid. He didn’t cope properly with his powers like the rest. Klaus constantly got high or drank Reginald Hargreeves’ liquor. Y/n noticed the rehab band around his right wrist and sighed internally. Klaus had been to rehab about five times, and none of it helped. It was a waste of time. Y/n was the only one who visited him in rehab.

She was snapped out of her daydream when Klaus exclaimed, “It’s just an advance on our inheritance!”

“That’s all it is.“ Klaus informed a stern-looking Luther with an annoyed look on his face.

Luther stood with furrowed eyebrows at his lanky, scrawny brother, “No need to get your little panties in a bunch.”

Klaus left the room without another word, and Y/n stood in shock. She couldn’t figure out how he got into the house without her noticing. Allison chuckled at his antics, and Luther looked at her incredulously for laughing at such a serious matter. Before they began talking, Y/n pipped up.

“Do you guys know where Diego is?”

“Notta clue,” Allison replied, and Luther shrugged.

Y/n hummed, “‘kay, guess I’ll find him myself.”

She followed Klaus’ footsteps out of the room. Y/n went to check the bedrooms first and found no Diego in there. She checked the kitchen and then the living room, where he found him drinking a glass of water on the couch. She plopped on the couch in front of him.

The living room was huge. It had two couches, both red and horribly itchy fabric. The floor was tile with three rugs, one by the fireplace, one in the middle, and one near the bar. The fireplace was on the far left of the room with another portrait of Reginald Hargreeves on top, and on the far right was the bar. In the center was a square coffee table and two armchairs. Another fireplace was lit and burning.

Diego and Y/n didn’t say anything. They just sat in each other’s company for a couple of minutes before the rest of the residents joined together. More so the rest of the remaining people. Number Five, who didn’t have a name, had disappeared when the teens were thirteen, and he never returned. Ben, who lived to be about sixteen, died on a mission.

Diego moved from the couch to the left armchair, and Allison sat on the right armchair with a cup of whiskey. Luther sat where Diego had moved from. Y/n sat up, allowing Vanya to sit and Klaus once he was done rummaging through the bar and dusty alcohol bottles. The silence was deafening, and Y/n was about to break it when Luther stood from his position on the couch.

“Um, I guess we should get this started.” Luther spoke hesitantly; all eyes were on him, “So, I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at Dad’s favorite spot.”

“Dad had a favorite spot?” Allison queried.

Y/n snorted, “Yeah, his desk, remember?”

“No, under the oak tree.” Luther corrected, “We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever did that?”

Klaus began to walk to the couch with Y/n and Vanya. One hand with a glass of alcohol and the other with a cigarette, “Will there be refreshments? Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner.”

“What? No.” Luther deadpanned, “And out that out. Dad didn’t allow smoking in here.”

Allison gaped at Klaus, “Is that my skirt?”

“What?” Klaus turned after setting his cup on an end table; his voice muffled from the cigarette in his mouth, “Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room. It’s a little dated, I know, but it’s very breathy on the bits.”

Y/n chuckled as Klaus moved his hand in a very crude gesture, “Listen up.” Luther called.

“Still some important things that we need to discuss, all right?”

“Like what?“ Diego asked.

“Like the way he died.”

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows, “Woah! What’s that supposed to mean?” At the same time, Diego muttered, “And here we go.”

“I don’t understand. I thought they said it was a heart attack.” Vanya stated.

“Yeah, according to the coroner.” Luther added, and Y/n crossed her arms, “Is the coroner suddenly not reliable or something?”

“Theoretically, they are.”

“Theoretically?” Y/n echoed, “I’d say they’re pretty reliable. It’s not like we’re in the god damn sixty’s.”

Luther rolled his eyes, “I’m just saying, at the very least, something happened. The last time I talked to dad, he sounded strange.”

“Oh, Quelle, surprise!” Klaus interjected while gurgling his alcohol.

“Strange how?” Allison asked.

“He sounded on edge. Told me I should be careful who to trust.”

“Luther, he was a paranoid, bitter old man,” Diego began to get out of his seat, “who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles.”

“No. He must have known something was going to happen.” The blond male stressed.

Luther turned to Klaus, sitting on the couch, “Look, I know you don’t like to do it, but I need you to talk to dad.”

Allison scoffed, “I can’t just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, ‘Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?’” Klaus replied, waving his cigarette, almost burning Y/n in the process.

“Since when? That’s your thing.” Luther retorted, and Klaus rolled his eyes, “I’m not in the right frame of mind.”

“You’re high?”

“Yeah! Yeah!” Klaus exclaimed, laughing, “I mean, how are you not, listening to this nonsense?”

Luther stood his ground, “Well, sober up, this is important.” Klaus sighed.

“You sound like Reginald.” Y/n interjected, and the room seemed to freeze in shock, “You’re making this a mission when it doesn’t need to be.”

Luther narrowed his eyes at her, “Dad dying isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to us. We don’t need to go searching for answers.”

“What about his missing monocle?” Luther asked the small girl.

Diego was quick to reply, “Who gives a shit about a stupid monocle.”

“Exactly. It’s worthless.” Luther agreed, “So whoever took it, I think it was personal. Someone close to him. Someone with a grudge.”

“Where are you going with this?” Klaus questioned as Diego and Luther went back and forth.

Diego stared at Luther’s blue eyes, “Oh, it’s not it obvious, Klaus? He thinks one of us killed Dad.”

The silence came quickly as everyone stared at the big man in the center of the room, “You do?”

“This is absolutely absurd.” Y/n retorted, glaring daggers at her first brother.

“How could you think that?”

“Great job, Luther. Way to lead.”

“Thats not what I’m saying,” Luther added hastily as Diego began to leave the room.

Klaus stood up from the couch, “You’re crazy, man. You’re crazy.” He began to walk out of the living room, muttering one last, “Crazy.”

“I’ve not finished.” Luther announced.

“Okay, well, sorry, I’m just gonna go, murder mom. Be right back.” Klaus retorted incredulously as he exited the room.

Vanya and Y/n followed closely behind Klaus, “That’s not what I was saying. I didn’t-“

Y/n walked out behind Vanya and went back up to her bedroom. The walls were painted grey, and the floors were the same dark wood through most of the house. Y/n’s room was in the attic with Number Five’s. They were the only two children with spaces in the attic.

Along the wall were some bookshelves with books Y/n had collected over the years, along with some records. Her desk was cluttered and sat beneath her window. She collapsed on the mattress covered in all grey bedding. Y/n closed her eyes and began to dream.

“In five, four, three, two, this is Jim Hellerman, reporting live for Channel 2 News outside of the Capital West Bank at Main and Sixth. A group of heavily armed men stormed the bank not three hours ago and took an unknown number of hostages.” A man with short brown hair and brown eyes introduced from a microphone.

“We need a plan,” Luther informed.

Y/n snorted, “Thanks captain, obvious.”

“How about we enter with our number order?” Luther asked, and Y/n shook her head.

“That makes no sense logically.” She retorted, “Number Three goes in to rumor one of the men to shoot himself. Once Number One hears the shots, he can enter via the roof, which will be easy to break since it’s glass. Number Two will enter not long after and help assist. Five can take out any difficult men if needed. Ben can be our last resort for large amounts of people.”

“What about you and Number Four?”

“Number Four can help the hostages leave the building safely.” Y/n informed, “I’ll find a way to make myself useful. Don’t worry about me.” Y/n said sourly.

Y/n took a pin from her hair and began to lock pick the door open. It only took seconds before the door clicked open, and Number Three slid through quietly. Number Three padded behind a man on a walkie-talkie. The group of children watched as Number Three whispered something in the man’s ear and then shot another man’s foot.

Within seconds Number One fell from the ceiling causing the glass to shatter and scatter everywhere. Y/n watched as he bashed a man’s head into the counter and then flung him through the front window of the bank. Diego came in not long after with two knives equipped in his hands.

“Guns are for sissies. Real men throw knives.” Diego announced as two of his knives impaled the same man.

There was only one man left in the central bank. Five and Y/n glanced at each other before they separated. She watched as Five moved just a tiny bit closer to the man. The rest of the children crowded the man enough to make him hop onto the counter. They began to taunt him. When Five spatial jumped, sitting cross-legged behind him. Y/n rushed over to where Five formerly was.

Five taunted the man before spatial jumping back to Y/n, “Take the gun and replace it with something.”

Y/n nodded, and Five spatial jumped behind the man once again. The noise of his jump was covered by the loud gunshots the pistol was made. By the time the man turned to notice Five, the gun in his hand was in Y/n’s, and the stapler was clicking instead of the trigger. She snickered as Five stood there smug, crossed arms staring at the man clicking the stapler.

Five’s voice echoed through the building, “Ooh! That’s one badass stapler.”

He slammed the stapler into the man’s forehead, causing him to fall backward onto the tile floor. Y/n walked out from her hiding spot with the rest of her siblings standing before a blurry glass door that led to the rest of the bank. There were multiple more men that the children couldn’t take through the door alone.

“Do we really have to do this?” Ben asked solemnly.

Luther was impatient, “Come on, Ben. There’s more guys in the vault.”

“I didn’t sign up for this.”

Ben entered the room. Y/n watched as he summoned the monster from his stomach. The men in the vault died instantly, and their bodies were flung all around the room. Some hit the blurry glass causing blood to splatter everywhere. Y/n didn’t flinch. She just watched calmly and waited for the experience to be over. After two minutes, Ben exited the room completely covered in blood.

“Can we go home now?” Ben’s voice was trembling.

Y/n nodded and took his hand. Ben’s hand was sticky and covered in blood, but she led them out of the bank and onto the man entrance, where reporters were waiting. The cameras flashed repeatedly and never stopped. It made Y/n’s eyes hurt.

“Lower your weapon!” A policeman called to Diego and Y/n.

She dropped the gun without another thought and kicked it away. They stood in line from number order, minus Number Seven. Luther looked smug. Diego was tucking his knife away. Allison looked weary. Klaus looked amused. Five looked calm and composed. Ben looked timid and was still holding Y/n’s hand. Y/n looked annoyed. Reporters began asking questions.

“How did you get in the bank?”

“What happened inside.”

Reginald Hargreeves appeared not long after the children left the bank and began to speak to the reporters, “Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted seven such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy.”

“Mr.Hargreeves! Mr.Hargreeves. Channel 9 News. What happened to their parents?”

“They were suitably compensated.”

“Are you concerned about the welfare of the children?”

“Of course. As I am for the fate of the world.”

Y/n woke up to music playing from one of the rooms downstairs. She yawned and stretched as the melody began to carry from the room to hers.

“Children Behave.“

She grinned at the song choice. Y/n laid on her back, staring at the ceiling. Tiffany was a fantastic musician, and Y/n used to sing the song all the time when Reginald was away. She used to steal Luther’s records.

“That’s what they say

When we’re together. “

Y/n began to hum the words as they came back to her memory from so long ago. Her teenage years were the best despite being the hardest. Y/n almost scoffed at that thought. She still appeared to be thirteen. Her body had stopped aging at thirteen, and it made her uncomfortable to be around her other siblings.

“And watch how you play

They don’t understand

So we’re running as fast as we can.”

She could remember playing this song when Reginald was gone for a meeting. The children sat in Y/n’s bedroom playing a board game while the record player played in the background.

“Holdin’ on to one another’s hand

Tryin’ to get away into the night. “

Five used to suck at board games. It always made him angry that he was always the smartest but couldn’t figure out a simple board game. It always made Y/n laugh at how his face would turn red, and his eyebrows would furrow.

“And then you put your arms around me

And we tumble to the ground

And then you say“

Y/n could also remember that being the last time they played board games together. It was only a week later when Five disappeared from dinner and never came back. Not long after, she threw away all of her board games. Y/n didn’t want to remember Five anymore.

“I think we’re alone now

There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around

I think we’re alone now

The beating of our hearts

Is the only sound“

Five became a bitter memory in her brain. Y/n didn’t like Five that much. He was always trying to prove how smart he was and how much better he was than her. She didn’t understand. It wasn’t a contest. For a while, Y/n thought he was jealous.

“Look at the way

We gotta hide what we’re doin’

‘Cause what would they say

If they ever knew. “

Y/n thought that maybe Five wanted to be like her. He was always close to her, and it made her itch uncomfortably. It was like someone always watching her back. It was like he was observing her and picking up all of her habits.

“And so we’re running just as fast as we can

Holdin’ on to one another’s hand. “

She couldn’t lie. Five was unbelievably brilliant, but sometimes he rushed into things too quickly. Five didn’t often think about the consequences of his actions and only cared about himself.

“Tryin’ to get away into the night

And then you put your arms around me

And we tumble to the ground

And then you say“

Y/n understood that actions had consequences. Reginald punished her the most as a child, but nothing could stop her from doing what she wanted to do. However, Y/n knew she could go a week without food just for a comment. She just didn’t care.

“I think we’re alone now

There doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now

The beating of our hearts

Is the only sound”

Five did care. Five cared too much. That was the problem. Five cared too much about what the other siblings thought of him, and it inevitably ended him up wherever he went. Y/n assumed he was dead.

“I think we’re alone now

There doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now

The beating of our hearts

Is the only sound“

The song continued until a loud ruckus caused the power to flicker and the record player to stop. The Tiffany record stopped spinning, and the needle flew off the plastic circle. Y/n jumped up and ran to the courtyard, where the rest of her siblings watched as a blue blur of electricity rumbled.

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itskatastrophe-x · 4 years ago

Text

Unhealthy Competition (CH2) c!Punz x Reader

CW // Swearing, blood mentions, fighting

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2

Word Count : 2,775

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

You went off the grid. For two whole months. Your emergency cabin served you well. It was miles away from any kind of civilization, with a modest farm and garden in the back, as well as flowers surrounding it out front. You made sure to stay away from anything near the SMP and kept quiet. The few times you did go into town, you heard questions of where you went and where you were. Some had even claimed that Punz had killed you successfully. If you had to guess, it was Punz telling people that. Honestly, that was fine with you. Sure, it gave him just another thing to brag about, but he was still without his precious gold chain and had failed to kill you. That, and, you wanted to stay far away from him. All the time alone gave you time to think about how you had actually grown to appreciate him and formed some kind of twisted love for him. It was best that you didn’t see him again.

But fate had a funny way of destroying hopes. You didn’t know how it happened, but he had shown up on your property two months after the meeting in the tunnels deep underground. You had caught a glimpse of him through your curtains in your room on the second floor, his blonde hair messy and reflecting the sunlight perfectly. He stood at the gate, about thirty feet from your porch, that surrounded the front portion of your property, the yard that housed some of your favorite flowers. Your heart skipped a beat as you stood there, watching him walk through the small forest of flowers you had tended to every morning, dew still covering them in the early hour. You glanced over at the chain on your bedside table and snatched it up and shoved it into your worn leather jacket’s pocket as you silently made your way to the hallway that lead downstairs. You creeped to the back door and snuck out silently, not bothering to close the door fully as you walked into the trees, climbing one effortlessly. You had taken notes from Purpled and became just as stealthy as him, learning how to melt into the shadows and move without making a sound.

You moved from tree to tree until Punz was just in sight of you, but you knew you were out of sight of him. He ran his fingers along some of the bushes of flowers, only pausing before his fingers could land on a bush of wither roses. He looked up at the treeline, sensing eyes on him, but looking away and to the light blue door that led to your house. He made his way to it and knocked a few times, peering in the small window eye height for him. When he didn’t get an answer, he tried the knob, which, unluckily for you, was unlocked. You unconsciously took a deep breath, earning a glance from the tall man as he was halfway in the house already. He squinted, yelling out a ‘hello’, but getting no response. He slowly turned back to the house and entered. You mentally slapped yourself for being so stupid as to leave your home unlocked, knowing full well that’s how you could get killed. The only thing you were glad about was the fact that you had grabbed the chain…

Your hand reached into the pocket holding the chain but was met with fabric, lacking the smooth surface of gold. Your heart rate sped up rapidly as you retraced your steps through the trees, hoping to see it somewhere caught on a branch or on the ground below you. Nothing caught your eye until you got to the last tree, where you spotted it hanging on the picket fence that you had jumped to get out of your yard. You scanned your house for movement, seeing a flash of color on the second floor passing a window. You guessed you had about a minute to grab the chain and run back to the tree line, so you held your breath and jumped to make a run for it. Just as you reached for the golden medallion an arrow lodged itself in the wood in the middle of it, making you retract your hand before it could hit you. It dripped with the effects of a potion, so you knew you were fucked if any of his arrows touched you. You heard a snort from above you and you looked up to see him standing on your roof, already in a fighting stance with his crossbow in one hand and his axe in the other.

“How did you find me?” He smirked at you, sliding down the shingles and off onto the fence smoothly. Once he was on solid ground, he walked to you, the fence being the only thing keeping the two of you apart. Now, up close, you could see him more clearly. His hair had grown just a bit, enough to be fluffy. He had gained a bit of muscle as well as some facial stubble. He practically towered over you in height and build. You huffed and leaned against the fence, resting your chin against the palm of your hand, looking up at him with puppy eyes. “Why did you have to ruin my little paradise? It was so relaxing and beautiful before you showed up.” He chuckled and put his crossbow back in the holder on his hip, keeping his axe secure in his right hand as he grabbed for his chain with his free hand. You were swift in smacking his hand away, but he persisted. “You really think you can stop me here,” he said more as a statement rather than a question. “Oh absolutely,” you say through a smirk. You both stand there staring at each other for a moment, his piercing blue eyes held a playful glint that you couldn’t help but give into.

In an instant you had your trident out of your inventory, a fire igniting in your chest as you thrust it towards the man, pinning his axe to his chest and pushing with everything you had. He held his form perfectly without falter and laughed at you at your pathetic attempt to overpower him. You pull out a potion from your pocket with your free hand and chug it, feeling the liquid sting your throat all the way down, the effects kicking in quickly to give you some extra strength. You knew you wouldn’t be able to overpower him without a potion so you had prepared multiple in case of a moment like this. Pushing against him now, he had to dig his heels into the dirt below him. His eyes went wide, now struggling to keep his poor balance. “Come on now, pretty boy. Make a move,” you say in a taunting tone, his face turning a slight shade of pink. He regains himself and smirks down at you, a look in his eye you can’t quite pinpoint. “Pretty boy?”

With that you were off, exchanging blows and clashes through the farmyard. After a couple minutes of back and forth drawing blood from each other, you took note of his movements. Every step he took was calculated so you wouldn’t touch any of your work as you practically danced around the crops. It wasn’t until you had him pinned against a tree, the prongs of your trident sunk deep into the wood behind him, trapping him between the prongs. His axe was against your throat, bringing back memories of the night of the tunnel. You were both bleeding and sweaty as you stood there, panting to catch your breaths. He smelled like fresh lavender and sandalwood. You could smell this forever. Your face heated up and you mentally smacked yourself for being so attracted to him. You knew being around him would make this happen. He took note of your red cheeks and scoffed, making you turn red even more. “Nervous, princess,” he taunted. “Oh fuck off you cocky bastard,” you retort.

He lands a knee to your stomach, making you lose your grip on your trident and allowing him to slip free and duck out from in between the prongs. He stayed ducked down, bringing his shoulder into you and picking you up with ease. The lack of air in combination with now being thrown over a shoulder and slightly upside down made you dizzy, a white fog forming at the corners of your vision. You punched at his back the best you could, yelling obscenities at him, causing him to laugh. He walked to the fence and reached for his chain and you kicked his arm to kick his hand just a few inches too far out of reach. You wiggled and thrashed so he had to drop his axe to hold onto you with both arms. “Just give it up already,” annoyance now lacing his tone. “In your dreams,” you spit. “I made it this far, why give up now?” You bring your foot into his stomach and kicked multiple times. You feel his grip on you loosen just enough to combine with the sweat to wiggle out of his grasp and land roughly on the balls of your feet and grab the chain.

You smile at him and back up a couple feet and dangle to chain in front of you, then put it on. “Why does this mean so much to you, anyway?” He’s leaning over with an arm on his stomach, trying to catch his breath and looking up at you with one eye closed, looking through his lashes with his other eye and a grimace on his face. “It was a gift,” he says through breaths. “Why do you care?” You shrug and toy with the thing in your hands, looking down at the surface reflecting your dirty face back at you. “I don’t. I just thought it would be fun to mess with you.” You look back up at him just as he stands straight and stretches his back, groaning in the process. “Why mess with me?” You watch him as he brings his eyes to meet yours. You feel awkward under his gaze, not being able to think of a reason, so you stay quiet. You hear him chuckle as his eyes land on the chain, now hanging from your neck.

“It looks better on you anyway.”

Your face flushes even more. You watch his eyes go wide, his cheeks turning the same shade as yours. “No way I just said that out loud.” You both stand there as the sun starts to get lower in the sky, neither one too flustered to make a move. You’re the first one to say anything as you move to take it off. “You can have it back. I’ve had my fun.” You toss it to him, him still too stunned to catch it properly, it just barely grazing his fingers as you turn on your heels to walk into the house. “Wait wait wait,” he calls after you as he picks up the gold and runs to you. Before you can shut the door fully, he slams his axe between the door and doorframe, refusing to let it shut. “Please, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Oh god this is so awkward.” He says the last part under his breath, just barely audible to you, now pushing your full weight against the door, the potion finally wearing off. The door was being pushed open more and more as the last of your strength left you. With one final push, Punz knocked you off of the door, sending you tumbling to the hardwood.

Before you could fall face first, though, Punz grabbed your arm and flipped you so he could grab your other arm and bring you back to a standing position. The world spun in front of you and you could barely hear Punz as he half carried you to the living room and ran back to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He flipped through his inventory and brought out a swirling pink potion and helped you drink that, as well as the cool bottle of water after to wash it all down. It didn’t take long to feel the effects of the healing potion, and soon you were totally fine again. His words still held you in a cloudy haze, though. You didn’t want him helping you or looking at you with those worried eyes. You were in the same room with the man you were supposed to hate. The one you fought so many times with to take a kill. Your #1 competition on the leaderboard. Why was he looking at you that way? You couldn’t help but stare back, seeing his lips move but not hearing anything.

He was about to get up and leave, turning on his knee to stand, when your hand shot out and grabbed at his wrist, the tips of your fingers just barely missing the sleeve of his hoodie. The touch was just enough for him to stop and turn back around, his eyebrows still pulled to the center in concern. You sat up, a bit too fast, and the world spun for a second. You were in reach of him now and grabbed his arm to ground yourself and he turned back to you, clasping the arm that held his with one hand and bringing the other to hold your upper arm on the other side, steadying you. You looked into his eyes, watching him go soft under your gaze. “Say it again.” Your voice was soft and wavering with anxiety, worried you would scare him off. He looked puzzled for a second, then turned red. “Wh-what? Say what?” He cleared his throat and looked away, towards the front door. You brought your hand slowly and carefully to his cheek and he flinched away for a moment before allowing your hand to cup his face. “You mean it?” His eyes shift back to you as he gives you a shit-eating grin, his confidence coming back in full force, giving you whiplash. “Is that what this is about? Oh no, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me.” Your face heats up and you retract your hand to punch his arm as hard as possible. “Shut the fuck up you cocky bastard.” He laughs, falling back on his ass and holding his stomach as you stand there and stare at how he looked when he laughed.

He calmed down, his laughter mellowing out into sighs and him wiping his eyes from the tears from laughing at his own stupidity and your face. When he looked back up to meet your eyes, he was met with the most starstruck look someone had ever given him. Your face heated up more but you refused to stop watching him. Here he was, a laughing mess in your living room, not trying to kill you. How it happened, you won’t understand, but all you wanted right now was to feel his skin against yours and to hear his laughter every day. So you slid off of the couch to fall into him, draping your arms over his shoulders and closing your eyes to breathe him in, not caring if he pushed you off or cussed at you. But instead, his arms slowly made their way around your waist, guiding you to sit in his lap, making sure to not disturb your chin that now rested on his shoulder. He relaxed and let out a soft sigh, smiling to himself as his heart rate slowed and you both relaxed, not wanting to move another inch.

This was bliss. This was comfort. Life was strange as you lived your lives together, still competing over kills, just, this time, making sure not to kill one another. You shared a mutual trust with each other as you went on separate missions, or sometimes together when the mission was a bigger one that required both of your skill sets. You both spent your time tending to your own hobbies while at home, comfortable just existing together in harmony, finally not at each other's throats on sight. After the night of making up, he profusely apologized for burning down your forest and house at the other base, which you dismissed, explaining that this was a much better cabin, though now you spent more time travelling with him or taking care of your plants. You didn’t care where you were anymore, so long as he was by your side.

#punz #c!punz #punz x reader #dsmp #dreamsmp #mcyt #reader insert #minecraft #x reader #lore #roleplay #fanfic #punz x you #x you #punzo #mercenary

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icharchivist · 4 years ago

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cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty

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goneseriesanalysis · 4 years ago

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Drake Merwin

I am soo sorry, this is super late but I got incredibly distracted with reading and forgot that literally anything else existed. Drake was a really hard character for me to analyse because his characterisation was just so disappointing to me - but luckily my intrinsic desire to have everyone hear my opinions prevailed, and so here it is. I hope you enjoy!!

Spoiler Warning: Major spoilers for Gone, Minor spoilers for the rest of the series and the monster trilogy

Old Opinion: I had a sort of morbid obsession with Drake and thought he was a top-tier villain

New Opinion: So far Drake is tied with Astrid for most-changed opinion. His character has almost no-depth and could be placed in almost any story without changing a single thing about him - and it would make sense. I found myself desperately trying to make him more interesting than he is in an attempt to justify younger me’s obsession - but alas I was unsuccessful. He had a lot of potential, but instead he ended up as a copy-paste villain with no realistic motivations and no real intrigue.

1.) DRAKE’S APPEARANCE:

Drake is, I think, the character who is best (as in most thoroughly) described in the first book. Not only do we get an idea of his actual appearance beyond the vaguest possible descriptions (sorry to Sam, Caine, Diana and every minor character) but we also get some idea as to the effect his appearance has on other people.

In Chapter 14, when we are first introduced to the Coates kids, Drake is described as, “a smiling, playful, mean-eyed kid with shaggy, sandy-coloured hair.” I actually really like this description. Contrasting “smiling” and “playful” with “mean” really brilliantly sets Drake up to be a complex villain – the kind of villain we all love to hate, who cracks a joke while slitting your throat. It has the implication of a layered personality but sadly, this is not the villain we get. In fact his character in the first chapter compared to the character we get as the book continues is so drastically different that it almost seems like mg did a complete 180 on his character. An original description is supposed to give us some indication as to what a character is like – their personality and role in the story, and we know that mg can do this really well. (Sam’s non-descript description setting him up to be the underdog, Quinn’s mismatched attire hinting at his inability to fit in, Astrid’s colour scheme reflecting her innocence and religiosity), and so it seems particularly odd, not to mention disappointing, that Drake’s description gives us…nothing. No real indication as to who he is or his purpose other than to hint to him being an antagonist (which we already guessed from his affiliation with Caine.) I could go on and on about what a waste Drake’s character was, but I’ll save it for a later paragraph.

We will then skip ahead to Chapter 37 where both Howard and Lana describe a similarity between Drake and Pack Leader:

“The one time she had seen Drake Merwin. He had made her think of Pack Leader: strong, hyper alert, dangerous. Now, the lean physique looked gaunt, the shark’s grin was a tight grimace, his eyes were red-rimmed. His stare, once languidly menacing, was now intense, burning hot. He looked like someone who had been tortured beyond endurance.”

“The two of them, two of a kind, it seemed to Howard, stared holes into each other.”

This is a much better example of mg using descriptions to establish the purpose of a character. By drawing a comparison between these two, mg sets up Drake’s later role in the books, where he replaces Pack Leader as the gaiphage’s right-hand man. This almost leads me to believe that mg had decided very early on that Drake was going to desert Caine and this is possibly why he seems so out of place and underdeveloped as Caine’s underling in the first two books. Mg had already moved on from this side of his character…and it shows. Lana’s description of Drake also works as a basis for showing the reader how he has changed since losing his arm (before gaining his whip) and acts as an insight into his current mental state – which is important as we don’t get much introspection during Drake’s POV’s. But, I still have a few issues with this. First of all, his “lean physique”. Now this isn’t really a problem all by itself, but unless I have forgotten what 14 year olds looks like (which is a possibility though I doubt it) I don’t think that they should be muscly with minimal body fat. And Drake is not the only character he does this with. Quinn gets extremely muscly later on in the books (I’ll admit that there is a plausible reason behind this so this example isn’t terrible but it’s mentioned like every 5 sentences) and in Fear Caine is described as having wash-board abs. Why are we sexualising children?? Children should be pudgy and awkward and still growing into their bodies, not lean and muscly!! The attractive, damaged man who hates women for no reason at all is also a really really really common trope and tbh I’m just so bored of it. It’s not relatable (at least it shouldn’t be) and it’s just really unimaginative – although it does help us to understand Drake’s character as we’ve seen him before so many times in all types of media. My second issue with this description is the way it really really highlights how much of a waste of character Drake was. The potential of a high-school bully with a skewed world-view due to the death of his father and the later abuse of his mother at the hands of his replacement father figure trying hard to impress the charming “leader” with unimaginable power (that he so desperately wants) only to be undermined at every turn by a girl who teases him by pointing out his flaws and insecurities taking his anger out on everyone around him (especially women) as a way to cope with his childhood traumas then turning into a heartless monster who not only enjoys others pain but lives for it after being “tortured beyond endurance”, was astronomical. But we don’t get that. Instead we get a cheesy, one-dimensional cartoon villain. The change that his body and mind go through after his maiming should have been pivotal to his character, but that just doesn’t come across in the writing. :/ But more on this later.

And last but not least, the whip-hand, which is very important to Drake’s character. It turns his actual body into a weapon and his excitement over this is indicative of his sadistic nature. Again, I think this is an example of a wasted opportunity. I would have liked mg to have gone in to depth about how Drake’s body undergoing this change affected his psyche (and I’m not counting his one-off line in the monster trilogy). I think it could be argued that Drake’s “change” is a metaphor for him going through puberty. Him gaining the whip that ultimately turned him into his very own weapon shows his transition from a child [a little messed up but still just a kid] into a monster, someone who is capable of committing atrocities without a second thought. It would have been particularly interesting for Drake and Orc’s final battle to put some focus on the fact that they both suffer through monstrous physical changes that can be used to represent their shift from children to young adults but whereas one relishes in this, one is completely disgusted. The whip-hand is described as being an “impossible blood-red snake” and then that “It was stretched. Like it had been turned into dark, blood-red taffy. It wrapped twice around his body.” – Both of these occurring in Chapter 39. I don’t have much to comment about this – other than that I think red is great colour choice for Drake, thematically at least.

I know this point was mostly about what Drake could have been as opposed to an actual analysis of his appearance, but I’m just so tired of the attractive misogynistic villain that seems to appear in every single piece of media. His characterisation really bummed me out and put me into a slump so instead of analysing his appearance I decided to roast him instead. But, onto actual analysis now (I am going to further expand on some of the points I made here I promise).

2.) DRAKE’S PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER

I mentioned in the previous point that a lot of Drake’s characterisation seems like an afterthought at best and one of the things that made me think this, is the inconsistencies with his character and the most obvious example of this is the discrepancies with his birthday. In chapter 20, Diana says that his birthday is “April twelfth, just one minute after midnight.” But, in Chapter 33 we get the line “Sooner would be better,’ Drake drawled, ‘what with me having a month.” This is a really small nit-pick, I know, but it just really bugs me that mg overlooked something as simple as a birthday – especially when birthdays are such an important plot point in this book. But anyway, moving on. I promise this whole review isn’t going to be negative.

Backtracking now to Chapter 14. Drake’s character here seems to differ quite drastically from his later characterisation. He seems here to be an example of the laughably evil trope, he has a kind of dry sarcastic humour that is quite fun and seems to lighten the tone of the story a little bit. Rather than showing us the boringly disgusting misogynistic villain that Drake turns out to be, we instead see a funny, charismatic character who seems to prefer picking on those who already have power – as is seen here:

“Drake paused halfway, turned back, and spoke for the first time. In an amused voice he said, ‘Oh, um, Captain Orc? Have your people – the ones who aren’t injured- line up outside. We’ll work out your… um, duties.’ With a grin that was almost a snarl, Drake added a cheerful, ‘Later’.” – Chapter 33

Now I understand that the reason we don’t see the real Drake here is because Sam is obviously not yet aware of his true personality – my issue lies in the fact that based on just this small excerpt here, I expected so much more from his character. We get hints of his sadistic nature here, with him joking about Cookie’s horrific injury and clearly taking joy in exerting power over Orc, but it is evenly balanced by the fact that he’s kind of amusing and we don’t really like Orc at this point anyway. Can we see that something isn’t quite right with him?? Yes. But do we kind of like him anyway?? Well I did. At this point. I would have really loved it if mg had carried on this idea of Drake abusing those who already have power – him enjoying to take down bully after bully so he can be King bully, instead of him picking on people who he perceives as weak and vulnerable. Mg relying on misogyny as a motivator is just really disappointing to me because there is no depth to it, and it’s pretty lazy. He hates Diana because she is a woman and he sees women as beneath him?? Weak. Over-used. Dull. He hates Diana because she has power over Caine in a way that he never can, which makes him feel insecure in himself and the fragile sense of stability and power that he has struggled to cultivate within his damaged psyche?? Yes pls. Not only would this have made Drake a much more engaging character, but it would also have made his desertion of Caine in hunger much more impactful. And while I think there are aspects of this within his character, which I will go into later, I wish there had been more of it. Again, I’m sorry that this has become more of a “what could have been” rather than an analysis but there really is just so little to analyse without just pointing out obvious facts and statements. There’s no spice here :/

Moving on now to Chapter 16, where we as an audience, as well as the characters within the book, begin to realise what Drake truly is – an unhinged madman. We are told by Sam that Drake has been abusing his power as Sheriff – which particularly stands out as, so far at least, Drake is the only member of Coates who has shown this kind of behaviour (Caine is actually a pretty sound leader until he loses his shit and attacks Sam). And this is the first major distinction that we get between Caine and Drake and their capacity as villains in the story. Caine is a bad person who will do bad things to achieve his goals, he is power-hungry and ambitious but he is not needlessly violent. Everything he does he (in his own mind) is able to justify as it helps him to achieve his vision. Drake, on the other hand, doesn’t really seem to have an end goal. He is violent for the sake of being violent – he is a sadist who enjoys the suffering of other people as we see here, “Drake was more than a little scary. Kids who defied Drake or any of his so-called sheriff’s had been slapped, punched, pushed, knocked down or, in one case, dragged into a bathroom and given a swirlie. Fear of Drake was replacing fear of the unknown.” Now, we still don’t get to see the full extent of Drake’s madness here. Most of the crimes listed are pretty mundane bully things – they’re still wrong, but they aren’t life-threatening. He hasn’t bashed anyone’s head in with a baseball bat. While Caine is playing with politics, Drake seems unable to move past his role of high school bully. If he had played it right, the role of Sheriff would have been perfect for him. I mean, how many actual police officers get away with literal murder in the name of “upholding the law”?? But he is unable of seeing the bigger picture, unable to grow and fit the new world order as Caine does so naturally, and so, instead of properly taking on the role of Sheriff and building up his own authority in this way, he turns back to his tried and tested method – hurt them and they’ll fall in line.

I particularly enjoy this as I think it explains, a little bit more, why he hates Diana and Astrid so much. Now I know the bottom line is simply that he is a violent misogynist – but that doesn’t explain why he hates Diana and Astrid specifically. Is it because they’re both attractive women and he is unable to distinguish sex and violence in his head?? Partly yes, but then Taylor is also described as attractive (and most people find her annoying) and yet he doesn’t seem to hate her to this extent. I think the real reason he hates these two specifically, more than anyone else, is because he simply cannot understand them – and that scares him (although he is unwilling to admit it). Drake only knows how to gain power through violence – he sees this work at home, he used it on Holden, he used it to gain his reputation at Coates and, although he has the ability to gain authority in other ways, he continues to use this method even now in the FAYZ. Diana and Astrid cannot do this, they are not fit to fight, they are not able to use violence to assert their status – and yet they both have more power in the FAYZ than he does. They make him question his whole world view and, as he cannot or will not adapt to the new hierarchy of the FAYZ, he resorts to trying to destroy them, in order to return the world to what it was before. His hatred of others gaining power through (what he sees as) unconventional means is then further established with his dislike of actual powers and the people who have them:

“I’m sick of all this powers crap. You saw what we did to freaks at Coates?? Who do you think it was that took care of that?? All these kids with their stupid so-called powers. Starting fires and moving stuff around and reading your mind and all?? Who do you think it was grabbed them one by one in their sleep and beat them down and when they woke up their hands were setting in a block of cement??

[…]

That’s right. And I didn’t even have a gun then. It’s not about who’s got powers, morons. It’s about who’s not afraid. And who’s going to do what has to be done.”

We get told by Diana that it was Drake’s idea to cement the kids in the first place (and a bad one at that) and I really think that is all the evidence you need to see that Drake’s hatred and fear all stem from his complete inability to adapt. He is trapped in a cycle of abuse that started with his father, a police officer who teaches him how to shoot people (however unwillingly) and is then continued by his step-father (an actual abuser) rendering him incapable of recognising any kind of authority if it is not gained from violent means. And so of course he hates the powers – none of the kids gained their powers through suffering or through causing suffering. They didn’t earn their authority in any valid way, according to him. (This is also another reason why I think Drake was so ecstatic at gaining his whip-hand. He suffered for it and therefore, in his twisted mind, he earned it. It is physical proof of his supposed power over these kids.) It’s tragic really – but mg then goes on to make him so disgustingly unsympathetic that his story loses its meaning. I love mg’s writing but Drake’s character truly was butchered for shock value and plot convenience and it makes me so sad.

Ok back to Chapter 16. Here, not only do we hear about some of the things that Drake is capable of, but we see them as well. His beat-down of Orc is the first indicator we get that Drake is someone we should really be afraid of. Heads up, this is a long quote:

“Nobody move,’ Drake said. Orc pushed Edilio off and jumped to his feet. He started kicking Edilio, landing size-eleven Nike blows into Edilio’s defensive arms. Sam jumped in to help his friend, but Drake was quicker. He stepped behind Orc, grabbed him by the hair, yanked his head back, and smashed his elbow into Orc’s face. Blood poured from Orc’s nose, and he howled in rage. Drake hit him again and released Orc to fall to the concrete. ‘Which part of “nobody move” did you not understand, Orc?’ Drake demanded. Orc rose to his knees and went for Drake like a linebacker, Drake stepped aside, nimble as a matador. He stuck his hand out and said to Chaz, ‘Give me that.’ Chaz handed him the bat. Drake hit Orc in the ribs with a short, sharp forwards thrust of the bat. Then again in the kidneys and again in the side of the head. Each blow was measured, accurate, effective. Orc rolled over on to his back, helpless, exposed. Drake pushed the thick end of the bat against Orc’s throat. ‘Dude. You really need to learn to listen when I talk.’ Then Drake laughed, stepped back, twirled the bat in the air, caught it and rested it on his shoulder. He grinned at Sam.”

“Sam had gone up against bullies before. But he’d never seen anything like Drake Merwin. Orc outweighed Drake by at least fifty pounds, but Drake had handled him like a little toy action figure.”

Orc has already been established as the top bully in Perdido beach – we’ve already seen that our main character is afraid of him – and for good reason. And so for Orc to be defeated so casually and so easily is shocking. It lets us know that the old world order has collapsed and old fears are fading away with it, with new, much more threatening adversaries taking their place. I actually think that this scene was exceptionally clever of mg. Drake is attacking someone who has already been set up as an antagonist, at the same time rescuing Edilio, who the reader has been conditioned to like. But, through context clues, we know that this is not a good thing. It sets up the villainous nature of the Coates kids, Orc’s redemption, Drake and Orc’s rivalry and Sam’s fear of Drake. And it feels natural, even after re-reading the book multiple times. It’s scenes like these that really remind me how great of a writer mg is.

Another thing I really wanted to talk about here IS Drake and Orc’s rivalry because, yet again, I think mg missed a huge opportunity with this. Drake and Orc are very similar before, and in the early days of the FAYZ. Both have abusive fathers (a step-father in Drake’s case but still), both enjoy asserting their power over people through violent means and both are put in positions of power that they are unable to fully take advantage of – Sheriff and Sheriff Deputy. And even as the books continue, similarities can still be found. They both suffer mutations that turn their bodies into grotesque weapons, dehumanising them and alienating them from their peers and That Scene in Plague tells us that Orc and Drake sometimes have similar “desires”. Their stories are constantly intertwined, with them being played off of each other from the start and Orc becoming Drake’s jailor later on (and in turn Drake sort of becoming his). Their differences come from their reactions to the horrific acts of violence they have committed – and of course why they do them. I’m going to make a whole separate post on this because it’s long enough to be a standalone, but my I just wish mg had played up both their similarities and differences more. It would have made Drake so much more interesting.

We also get more hints at his sadism in this scene. He is later unbothered that Betty has been hurt and it seems that the only reason he attacked Orc was because it gave him an opportunity to assert his dominance over him. All in all, this is one of my personal favourite scenes in the book as it establishes characters, themes and relationships very well. I just wish some of these had been developed further – but mg dropping certain aspects of the story does seem to be a common problem.

The final thing I wanted to talk about in regards to Drake’s personality and character is this line we get in Chapter 23, “It was small, just two bedrooms, very neat, very organised, the way Drake liked things.” This was another thing that irked me slightly. It’s such a small aspect of his characterisation but it reinforced the idea that drake is just another cookie-cutter villain with no real personality, nothing that makes him stand out in the sea of white male psychopaths with a hatred for women. His whole character could be replaced with any other misogynistic psychopath at no detriment to the story. My immediate though when reading this was that even the smallest aspects of his character can be seen in other, more developed villains – this line in particular is hugely reminiscent of Patrick Bateman. Nothing seems to be his own. No aspect of his character is even remotely unique. (I think this may also be why some young fans develop an obsession with him. His character is comfortable because we’ve seen it so many times before.) He is so entirely replaceable and replicable - only reason he isn’t completely forgettable is because you are constantly plagued by the horrific things he has done. Mg sacrificed depth and development for shock value and it’s so disappointing

3.) DRAKE’S PAST

Onto Drake’s life before the FAYZ. Not only does Drake receive some of the longest and most POV time in this book, he is also the character whose life before the FAYZ we learn the most about (with the possible exception of Sam). This is especially shocking to think about seen as Drake is arguably one of the most underdeveloped characters in the whole book, but anyway. There are two scenes I’m going to talk about here, both occurring in Chapter 23, with the first being his dad teaching him how to shoot. I apologise in advance for the long quote:

“His father had taught him how to shoot, using his service pistol. Drake still remembered the first time.

[…]

He remembered the way his father had taught him to grip the butt firmly but not too tight. To rest his right hand in the palm of his left and sight carefully, to turn his body sideways to present a smaller target if someone was shooting back. His father had had to yell because they were both wearing ear protection. ‘If you’re target shooting, you centre the front sight in the notch of the rear sights. Raise it till your sights are sitting right under your target. Let your breath out slowly and squeeze.’ That first bang, the recoil, the way the gun jumped six inches, the smell of the powder – it was all as clear in Drake’s mind as any memory he had. […]

‘What if I’m not shooting if I’m not shooting at a target?’ He’d asked his father. ‘What if I’m shooting at a person?’ ‘Don’t shoot a person,’ his father had said. But then he relented, relieved no doubt to find something he could share with his disturbing son. ‘Different people will tell you different techniques. But if it’s me, say I’m doing a traffic stop and I think I see he citizen reaching for a weapon, and I’m thinking I may have to take a quick shot? I just point. Point like the barrel is a sixth finger. You point and if you have to fire, you shoot half the clip, bang, bang, bang, bang.’ ‘Why do you shoot so many times?’ ‘Because if you have to shoot, you shoot to kill. Situation like that, you’re not aiming carefully for his head or his heart, you’re pointing at the centre of mass and you’re hoping you get a lucky shot., but if you don’t, if all you’re hitting is shoulder or belly, the sheer velocity of the rounds will knock him down.”

Ok so the first thing I want to analyse here, is how important this memory clearly is to Drake. He remembers it fondly, in immense detail and seems to call back on it when he needs to clear his head (notice how this memory is placed while Drake is trying to figure out what to do, not while he is doing it.) It seems that rather than just using this memory as a source of useful information, it is also a source of comfort to him. Now there are some things that I really wish mg had told us that would help to analyse this scene better, like: How old was Drake when this memory took place?? How old was Drake when his father died?? How did his father die?? But alas, we don’t know these things (at least not that I’m aware of, and not within this book) so I’m going to try and do the best I can with the information that we have. Now, in Light, Drake makes it seem like his step-fathers behaviour has been significant in forming his worldview – which makes sense, trauma does that. But he spends half of his time away at Coates, which says to me that for this behaviour to have had such a profound effect on him, his step-father must have been around for a while. Right?? I’m gonna take a guess at 3-4 years at the least. Give Drake’s mother about a year to meet and start dating this man after the passing of her husband – this means that Drake would have been around 9/10 at the latest when this scene took place. That’s pretty young. Like, this is a formative memory and from the way it’s written, it seems like this may be some of the only bonding that Drake and his father ever did together. No wonder Drake has such an unhealthy obsession with guns as is seen with these quotes:

“He started from Astrid’s house, which was already beginning to smoke. He worked his way methodically, a hunter, looking for any movement. Each time he spotted someone walking or running or biking, he would take a look at them through the rifle scope, line them up in the crosshairs. He felt like God. All he had to do was squeeze the trigger.” – Chapter 23

“Drake kept all three guns loaded all the time. They were set out on the dining room table, a display, something to be gazed at lovingly.” – Chapter 23

“Drake could not leave the gun alone. He kept thumbing the safety on and off. He rolled down the window and aimed it at stop signs as they passed, but did not fire.” – Chapter 31

Drake shooting Sam and his gleeful reaction – Chapter 34

For him, guns are the ultimate symbol of power and authority. He was introduced to these weapons of incredible power at such a young age – of course he loves them. That being said, it seems that Drake has always been “disturbed” so I suppose we can’t fully blame his father and step-father for his mind-set – and I have to say I don’t really like this. Drake’s issue as a character is that he is completely de-humanised by all the horrific things he does. By having it seem like Drake was irredeemable from the off-set, it just adds to this idea and again removes any possible depth or character development. Imo it would have been much better to present Drake as becoming the way he is AFTER his father’s death. It would bring a sense of tragedy to his character – the way he uses his father’s advice to hunt down Astrid would seem less like a by-product of his sadism and more like a misguided attempt to feel connected to his deceased father.

However, flawed though it is, this scene does give us some insight as to why Drake is the way he is – through the characterisation of his father. Admittedly we don’t get much, but one line really stood out to me, “Because if you have to shoot, you shoot to kill.” Ummm..sir?? I don’t think that’s how police officers work. Isn��t your goal to incapacitate – not to just kill on sight?? The fact that he not only stands by this rule himself, but also gives this advice to his CHILD is disconcerting. Drake is not only receiving this harmful rhetoric from his father figure but also a police officer. Someone who is meant to uphold the law. I think this links back to my earlier point on how Drake only recognises authority if it is gained by violent means. While we get no indication that his real father was ever violent to Drake or his mother, he openly tells Drake that when he is upholding the law (in this hypothetical situation) he does it by using force. That is a dangerous thing to tell a child, especially a child who you already think is disturbed. This twisted-take on a father-son relationship nicely sets the precedent for Drake’s warped perceptions, I just wish it had been developed further. And this leads us nicely into the next scene – the shooting of Holden:

“He remembered with vivid, slow-motion detail the time he had shot Holden, the neighbour’s kid who liked to come over and annoy him. That had been a bullet to the thigh, with a low-level calibre gun, and still the kid had nearly died. That ‘accident’ had landed Drake at Coates.”

Again, first and foremost I just wish we had a little bit more information. It is not clear whether this situation occurred before or after his father’s death – which seems like a pretty important detail to me. Although, we don’t actually find out that Drake’s father is dead within this book, and this omission again makes me feel like mg adding that detail was little more than an after-thought. It feels like in Light he wanted to quickly try and make Drake more of a sympathetic character and so he added in an abusive step-dad to try and tone down or at least explain Drake’s violence and misogyny. It seems like Drake is a plot-point first and a character second and the lack of detail here really highlights that for me. What purpose did these scenes really have in the story?? They did very little to flesh out his character, they introduced no new themes or relationships. It seems like mg just wanted to let us know – “Hey! Drake knows how to use a gun. That’s gonna be important later.” That being said, there are a couple of other things I would like to quickly mention. Firstly, I think the fact that Drake did not aim to kill Holden, even though he could have, is meant to be indicative of his change between then and now. It’s done to tell us that Drake wasn’t always this bad – there was at one point some hope. For this to have the desired effect though, I really think mg should have waited until after Drake lost his arm to straight up try and murder Astrid and Little Pete. Like, you can’t tell us that Drake was a little messed up but still redeemable before his maiming and then go and have him try to kill a random girl and her five year old brother. Because that’s more than a little messed up (and that’s not even mentioning the cementing). And it also contrasts the idea that Drake has always been disturbed. An idea that was introduced to us not even a page ago!! The other thing I wanted to pick up on, which I actually quite liked, is the ambiguous “who liked to come over and annoy him.” Because this is Drake’s point of view – so “annoy” could mean anything. Was Holden actually just an annoying kid?? Was he just trying to be Drake’s friend?? Or was he actually a bully and Drake doesn’t want to admit it?? I guess we’ll never know.

4.) DRAK’ES MOTIVATIONS

For this point, I wanted to focus on three particular motivators: Caine, Diana and Astrid. These are the three people, I believe, who provide, either consciously or unconsciously, the motivation for his actions within the FAYZ. I’ll start first with Astrid and Diana, the two people who Drake hates the most. Throughout this book it is clear that Drake has no real goals – he has no desire to be in control like Caine, no desire to re-invent the world like Albert. All he wants is to cause pain, with his preferred targets being these two. And, as I’ve said before, I think this is partly because he hates the authority that they have within the FAYZ – which stems from manipulation and intelligence rather than violence.

In Chapter 20, Drake explains his hatred for Diana, “Drake had made the time to check out Diana’s psych file the day after the FAYZ came. But her file had been missing by then. In its place she had left Drake’s file lying open on the doc’s desk and drawn a little smiley face beside the word ‘sadist’. Drake had already hated her. But after that, hating Diana had become a full-time occupation.” What I take from this scene, is that Drake’s loathing stems from Diana’s ability to get under his skin, to make him feel inferior – to annoy him. (Perhaps Holden had a similar talent). I’m going to assume that his prior hatred of her can be boiled down to his misogyny and his disgust at Caine’s weakness for her, both of which have been explicitly stated in the text. His hatred after this though, comes from a pretty mundane incident. I mean all she did was get there quicker, and do exactly what he was going to do to her. And so I think this loathing is less about what she did and more about his own personal reaction to it. Diana was able to weaponise Drake’s own anger against him – to make him feel inferior and powerless. She challenges Drake’s fragile perception of authority and takes a diagnosis that he seems to not only be ok with, but is actually proud of, and makes him feel embarrassed. His whole perception of power is rooted in the idea that his ability to inflict pain on others with no guilt or remorse is what makes him better, it is what gives him his power. But she takes this idea and belittles him for it and so his initial reaction is to attack. This is an idea that is again seen with Astrid. Astrid intentionally tries to make Drake feel inferior by bringing up his biggest insecurity, Diana’s treatment of him “Doesn’t it bother you that Diana treats you like some wild animal she keeps on a leash?” And she does escape him – twice. Her and her autistic brother (and we already know how Drake feels about autistic people). She also proves herself to be more intelligent than him, in their little argument over the r-slur. Drake only gets violent after he realises that, in an intellectual sense, she has more power than him. It seems to be his defence mechanism just as much as his pleasure – and therefore Astrid and Diana’s power over him motivates him to use it.

Now onto Caine. Caine and Drake’s relationship is, for me, one of the most interesting aspects of Drake’s character and while I’ll only be mentioning it in its capacity as a motivator here, I have a whole post planed out for it. Drake seems to simultaneously hate Caine and admire him. He is constantly looking to impress him and the only time we ever see Drake think about betraying him in this book is when Caine gives his attention to Diana rather than Drake. And, because of this, I can kind of understand why people ship them (although I personally dislike the idea of Drake being gay). A lot of the time this motivation is completely unprompted by Caine himself, like in these quotes:

“Drake cursed and, again, for just a moment, felt the almost desperate fear of failing Caine. He wasn’t worried about what Caine would do to him – after all, Caine needed him – but he knew if he failed to carry out Caine’s orders, Diana would laugh.” – Chapter 23

“I got him’ Drake announced. ‘I got them all.’ ‘Yes, you did,’ Caine said. ‘Good work, Drake.” – Chapter 34

In Chapter 23, it seems that both Drake’s need to impress Caine and his need to prove to himself that he is better than Diana are his main motivators for his extreme attack on Astrid. I think it’s important to note that he only planned on trying to catch her, until Caine told him to kill her. His sadistic nature is brought out in full because he needs to prove himself to Caine. But why does he?? If he is planning on taking over from Caine in the end, why does he have a “desperate fear of failing Caine”?? Sure, part of it is his desire to prove himself to be better than Diana. But even this has roots in his absolute need for Caine to take notice of him. Drake is drawn to Caine because of his power and authority over people. Caine seems to be the closest thing that Drake can get to an equal, someone who shares the same motivations, ambitions and worldview (of course Caine and Drake do not share these things, but Drake doesn’t realise this…yet.) He seeks validation from Caine because he wants to have these things in common with someone – yet another motivation for his hatred of Diana as she constantly gets in the way of this.

We also know that Caine is, at least, partly aware of his effect on Drake. He is paranoid that Drake will turn on him (because Caine sees being equal to someone as relinquishing power) and he is able to manipulate Drake’s misguided feelings when he wants to – most notably in Chapter 36:

“It’s not Diana or Chunk or even me,’ Caine said. ‘It’s none of us, Drake. It’s Sam. It’s Sam who did this to you, Drake. You want him to get away with it? Or do you want to live long enough to make him suffer?”

This is such a clever moments as it sets up Drake’s whole character in Hunger, and it’s false. Because yes, Sam is the one who burned Drake’s arm and Drake has every right and reason to hate him. But it was Caine who abandoned him to save himself. And it was Caine who refused to let Drake die, even though he was begging for it (and let’s face it, he didn’t refuse to kill him out of any affection – it was a selfish decision.) But Drake is so desperate for that equal, for that validation that his worldview is correct and is shared by another person, that he just idk forgets?? He never brings up this conversation again and just accepts Caine’s word as gospel. I have so much more to say about their relationship but, as I said, I’ll save it for a later post.

5.) DRAKE’S MENTAL STATE

And finally, we have Drake’s mental state. Now I’m not going to try and give him an official diagnosis or anything, but I wanted to make a small point specifically about his mental state after his maiming. I think we can all agree that what Drake went through was pretty horrific, and while I personally struggle to feel any amount of sympathy for him due his own list of horrific crimes, the change he goes through after this is extremely significant, or at least it’s supposed to be. I think mg wants us to believe that Drake’s descent into madness was directly cause by the loss of his arm, and that before that he did have the chance to be redeemed. I think whether you buy into this depends on how forgiving you are, but I want to focus more on the actual proof of change that we see.

I’ve already talked about the physical changes he goes through, and the implications of this so I’m going to focus solely on his mental state during and partly after the whole ordeal. I think the first and most important thing to talk about is the fact that Drake didn’t actually want to survive:

“Don’t cut off my arm,’ Drake cried. ‘Let me die. Just let me die. Shoot me.” – Chapter 36

He would rather die than lose his arm (his gun arm to be specific). Now, while I don’t doubt that the burning was indescribably painful, I’m still not sure that the majority of people would beg for death. Especially when an alternative (in this case losing his arm) is presented. Not to mention, he doesn’t actually talk about the pain when begging for his death – what he talks about is the loss of his arm. Of course it could be argued that the reason he didn’t want his arm to be cut off is because he knew it would mean more pain, but I don’t think that this is the case. Rather, I think that Drake is so scared of losing the power that he has, that he would genuinely rather die. This 14 year old boy is so messed up that his own death is preferable to the idea of no longer being able to hurt people. And so when he gets his power back, he doubles down. He has realised by this point what he truly wants, that he would rather die than be rendered powerless, so he begins committing more heinous acts (like attacking the prees). Pair this with the amount of pain that he went through, which most definitely will have had an effect on his already damaged brain, and you can see how a high-school bully became what he did. The groundwork for an interesting and though-provoking character was right here. I think yet again the problem with his character is the execution. Interesting aspects of his personality are dropped in favour of plot convenience and shock value and it cheapens his character as a whole until all the intended nuances are lost and over-shadowed.

I’m really sorry if this is a bit all over the place and not quite as polished as my other posts. I found Drake so difficult to write about and so my thoughts kept going haywire. Thank you so much for reading (and being patient with my brain). I hope you enjoy!!

#the gone series #Drake Merwin #character analysis #gone

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keelywolfe · 4 years ago

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FIC: Welcome To Backwater ch.2 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Stretch isn’t running away, not really.

He took the bus.

Only to end up in a little town in the middle of nowhere, meeting unusual people, dealing with unexpected happenings, what the hell is going on in this place?

Content: Spicyhoney, Midwest Gothic

Note: Just as a heads up, I'd give this story a warning for mild horror and mild gore. None of our boys, but better to let y'all know!

~~*~~

Read Chapter Two ‘Meet and Greet’ on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

For the next week Stretch spent most of his time trying to figure out the method in the madness to Red’s store management. His first day of ‘training’ pretty much consisted of Red showing up long enough to demo the cash register and then shuffling off to the apartment at the back where he lived. Not that pushing a couple of numbered buttons was that complicated, but that wasn’t the only issue cropping up around here along with the local corn.

First of all, nothing in the shop was priced. All the items were recorded in a ragged notebook with coffee ring stains on the cover, where Stretch got to figure out if an item fell under the category of ‘toilet paper’, ‘paper, toilet’, ‘ass wipers’, or ‘shitty ass wipers’, all written in Red’s sloppy handwriting. The sheer number of items that fell under ‘ass’ and ‘shitty’ were staggering.

Turned out, the little store actually did a fair amount of business. Plenty of Humans stopped in to pick up one or two things rather than drive to the nearest Wally World which according to Granny Collemore, who Stretch was guessing was the unofficial town gossip, was better than a thirty-minute drive away.

“Don’t need to be driving an hour for a little bum tissue,” she bellowed happily, “shopping day is Sunday, we’ll stock up then!”

Stretch nodded as he rang her up, wincing away from her volume. He’d figured out pretty quickly that the old woman was stone deaf, but she didn’t seem to care if all she got was a smile and plenty of nods, so that was fine.

She handed over a wad of cash pulled from a little embroidered change purse that let out a puff of lavender so strong when she opened it that it overshadowed the store’s normal musty smell, hollering the whole time. By the time she left, Stretch knew enough about the local weather patterns to make a rain prediction and that the way someone named Pritchard was hamming on a pretty young’un Eloise meant they’d best they be married soon ‘fore it turned into a shotgun wedding. He nodded along with every proclamation, hurrying around the counter to open the door for her and ended up spending five minutes waiting for her to shuffle her way out, her bunny slippers leading the way.

But as she was leaving, she reached up and gave him a gentle pat on the cheekbone, her wrinkled hand barely able to reach. “You’re a nice boy,” she told him, too loud and with a pink, gummy smile.

Stretch was too startled to flinch away and only managed to mumble a thank you as she headed off into the growing heat of the morning, a hunched figure in a flowery dress and pink slippers, her bag of emergency tp bumping against her hip as she trundled along.

That was another thing. He’d thought that the Humans around here would be distrustful, even malicious, but that wasn’t proving to be the case. Aside from a little surprise when they first saw him, all the customers so far were small-town kindly. Kids came into the shop to raid the nickel-candy rack, their bikes left in piles outside as excited groups came roaring in. Mothers came in with babies wearing only their diapers, fanning themselves and laughing out their, ‘my, isn’t it a hot one today?’ as they bought a half-gallon of milk and some fresh apples to put in the bottom of their strollers.

No one in town seemed to care that he was a Monster past asking his name and maybe it was just ‘cause of Red being a skeleton, too. Could be that Granny Collemore was out there somewhere bellowing that the local shopkeeper had family visiting, who knew? It was sure different than he was used to. The general sentiment in Ebott about Monsters was resentment; over them taking jobs, enrolling in the schools, whatever it was, they didn’t want Monsters doing it.

It was…nice, he decided, to not have someone dislike him on sight.

That was how he spent his mornings. He worked in the shop, idly dusting, putting away the deliveries that a guy in the pickup truck and overalls brought in daily, and borrowing Red’s wifi to listen to soft music on his phone. The calls had trickled to only once a day and the glaring red alert number of his messages kept climbing.

Stretch didn’t look at them, only skipped right over to Spotify and the 'The Wedding Singer Divorce Special pt 2' playlist.

Red came in every day to relieve him at around two. He grunted out something that resembled a hello as he heaved himself up on the stool, leaning his cane against it as he pulled out a battered romance novel from beneath the counter. The creased covered did not in the slightest hide the young, scantily-clad woman caught up in a fiery embrace with her highland Lord.

“be back later,” Stretch said as he hung up his apron. Not that it mattered, wasn’t like Red was his dad or even a friend, not really, and he didn’t care when Stretch came home. A couple times they’d eaten together, takeout from the local diner that was imaginatively called ‘Mama’s’, not ‘Eats’, watched a little but that was it. His lack of idle chitchat was the complete opposite of Blue’s constant stream of chatter and after years of that, the silence was kinda disconcerting, but maybe not in a bad way.

Red didn’t even look up from his book, only pulled a crumpled bill out of his pocket and pushed it across the counter, “pick up some beer at the station, wouldja?”

“sure,” Stretch said, almost grateful for something else to do. It was miles better than sitting the rest of the day in his little room with its faded, floral wallpaper where the air conditioning wasn’t quite able to combat the heat of the mid-afternoon sun. He’d done that once, the first day, and after that made a point of staying out of his room until sundown to give it chance to cool off.

The town itself wasn’t much more than a bunch of ramshackle houses. To the west were fields, the leafy tops of what Stretch was now certain was corn rustling in the wind. Off to the east, the landscape slowly went from flat plains to trees, their wilting leaves yellowing in the heat and ending in a wooded area that surrounded maybe half the town. Shame it was too far away provide much shade unless you went walking right into it. Main street consisted of a few other public buildings; a tractor store right up next to the thrift shop, a little one-room schoolhouse with an attached shed that served as the town library, the Sheriff’s office, and the movie theater.

On the outskirts of town there was also a bar, The Whistling Cow, its glowing neon sign a single point of orange light on dark nights. As much as Stretch wanted a drink, he stuck with filching beer from the cooler Red kept under the counter. Hanging around with strange, drunk humans usually didn't end well for him.

The movie theater was where he’d taken to heading after work. Someone with a sense of humor must’ve named the place, since ‘The Grandeur’ literally only had one theater and maybe thirty seats, if that. The proprietor ran the ticket booth and the concession stand, and in his threadbare uniform with its yellowing shirt, he looked a lot like Lurch's second cousin, once removed.

But he was a nice enough fella and it was a good way to waste some time. Even if the only movies showing were old black and whites, the popcorn was fresh, with real butter, and the added bonus of air conditioning. Besides, the Three Stooges were funny as shit any old day.

That was where Stretch was headed today; the afternoon showing only cost two bucks, then another for popcorn and he was set for a few hours. It was better than trying to get anything to tune in on the television in his overboiled room. With a lot of coaxing, he might manage to get a PBS channel, but there was only so much time a person could spend sweating their way through a staticky version of Sesame Street.

Stretch got to his seat just as the lights were going down, settling in with his popcorn. Before the movie there were a few cartoons, and it was kinda wild to get to see Steamboat Willy chugging along on the big screen again.

Today’s flick was an honest to bitsy silent movie and Stretch watched with a wide grin as Charlie Chaplin slap-schticked his way across the stage. There were a few other people in the seats, at least one of them snoring; probably only came to get out of the summertime heat.

But it wasn’t really the movie he was here for. Not today.

He’d seen her the first time he came. Sitting in the far back row, not that uncommon, some people liked to sit far away. No one else seemed to notice her and that wasn’t strange either. Normally even he didn’t pay much attention to anyone else in the theater, who did? So long as a person was quiet, made no ripples in the pond, no one saw them. Movies were for escapism, not to make new friends.

But this lady. To begin with, her clothes were about a century out of date, with her pink suit and matching pillbox hat, her white gloves, and whenever the house lights came up while they switch the reel, she vanished without even a shimmer of dust motes, only returning once the darkness did.

He’d been back three times so far and she’d been in the theater for every showing. Sitting on her own watching the flick, always in the same seat. This time, Stretch was sitting in the seat next to it. He munched his buttery popcorn and watched as Charlie Chaplin-ed his way through the movie. He didn’t have to wait long.

None of the Humans noticed. The black-and-white light coming from the screen was dim enough that anyone sitting in the audience was nothing but a shadow. Humans tended towards the unobservant side, anyway, none of them had to be as aware of their surroundings as a Monster did, especially one like Stretch with only 5 HP between him and dust.

Besides, there wasn’t any fanfare about it. One minute the chair next to him was empty and the next, a young woman was sitting there, her hands clasped primly in her lap as she looked up at the movie with rapt attention.

“like the movies, huh?” Stretch said, very softly. “always wanted to be an actor myself, but i don’t have the guts for it.”

Waste of a good pun, he didn’t even think the woman had a chance to notice he was a skeleton. She startled, one faintly translucent hand flying to her mouth as if to stifle a scream. Stretch only munched on another piece of popcorn and let her gather her wits or ectoplasm or whatever ghosts had. Wasn’t like he had room to talk, the inside of his skull was as hollow as a drunken apology.

She settled quick enough and asked in a wispy little voice, “you can see me?”

Stretch slouched back and propped his sneakers up on the seat in front of him. “sure. it’s a monster thing. we see things that humans don’t, sometimes.” Or didn’t bother to see, Stretch wasn’t sure which.

“Sometimes they see me,” she admitted. “but they always run away.”

Yeah, Stretch couldn’t really blame them for that one. Humans weren’t used to ghosts, not the way Monsters were, and now that he was sitting up close, he could see the way she flickered a little, that pretty face sometimes flashing onto something else, half still pretty as a picture from an old magazine and the other a bloody ruin. There was a gaping hole on one side of her head, her blonde hair matted into dark clumps, and one blue eye stared out, unseeing. There were flecks scattered on the shoulder of her pink suit, chips of ivory, and Stretch knew enough about bones to recognize skull fragments. Another flicker and it was gone, only a pretty young Human woman looking back at him. The effect was a little off-putting, true, but it wasn’t like she could help it.

Besides, Stretch didn’t have to look. He was watching the movie.

“what’s your name?” he asked, softly.

She hesitated and he wondered if she didn’t want to tell him or if she didn’t know. Her eyes were large, absurdly long lashes sweeping against her cheeks as she considered. When she spoke again her voice was a little stronger, surer, “Doris.”

“doris, my name is stretch,” he told her, “and it is a pleasure to meet you.”

They sat together in silence for a little while. The music coming brightly from the speakers was as cheerful as a carousel, offering happiness and humor when she spoke again abruptly. “I know this is very forward. But. Could you do something for me?”

“maybe,” Stretch said, a little wary. Better not to make promises to unknown ghosts, they could get tetchy.

She smiled, a wry curve of lips as if she could hear his thoughts. “Your popcorn.”

He looked down at the paper cup in his hand, still half-full of buttery kernels. “you want some?” he asked, bemused.

She let out a whispery laugh, like a wind rustling through summer cattails. “No, but. Can I smell it?”

Oh. “sure.” He held the cup out and she leaned over it, inhaling deeply, or, well, looked like she did, he didn’t think ghosts actually breathed, but who knew? When she bent down twin ribbons of blood ran from both her nostrils, dark and slick. It didn’t drip into the popcorn, couldn’t, it wasn’t present in the same way the little carton was, but he felt his appetite fade. He still politely pretended not to notice.

She leaned back with a happy sigh and all signs of the blood were gone. “Thank you. I go behind the counter sometimes to smell it, but it’s not the same.”

“i bet. gotta be in a paper bucket or it ain’t right.” If she could go out to the concession stand, that meant at least she wasn’t stuck sitting in this one seat. Maybe it was just her favorite. “you get out much?” He jerked his head towards the door, “outside, i mean.”

“No,” She shook her head sadly, and her hair brushed her shoulders. “I have to stay in the theater.”

He nodded sympathetically. That was gonna make this a little harder, but not too much. He liked the movies, anyway. “yeah, it works that way sometimes. but hey, i’ll stop back in and see you again. if that’s okay?”

She brightened visibly, coming sharply into focus like a lens turned on a camera, until the chair behind her only barely showing through. “Would you?”

Now that was a vow he could make and Stretch sketched a cross over his chest with a finger and said solemnly, “i promise.”

Their chat must’ve been getting a little loud. Someone was turning around in the front seats. The room was too dark to see, but he didn’t have to witness a glare to feel it. Stretch slouched down in his seat and took the hint.

Hey, he’d made a friend. Well, most of one and it was the important part. A soul without a body was a lot nicer than a body without a soul, hands down.

Which made him wonder about the gas station attendant, because Mitch made Red seem like a warm, outgoing person.

The ancient artwork on the front window of the gas station showed a shiny, smiling attendant in a tidy uniform, his neatly cut hair almost hidden beneath his cap as he held up a dripping gas nozzle in offering. That guy must’ve gotten promoted out of state, because the only dress code Mitch followed was ‘fuck it, looks clean.’ Long, straggly hair poked out from his dirty baseball cap and, of all things, he was reading the New York Times, the business section.

His saving grace was that his disinterest in all customers was universal. Mitch was an equal opportunity kind of guy; he didn’t give a shit about anyone.

Stretch opened the door carefully so that the cowbell only gave a muted clang. He hesitated inside the door and decided to brave a question. Hey, he’d made one friend today, may as well push his luck. “you got any coffee on?”

It was a pretty safe bet, even as hot as it was. Coffee wouldn’t help with the sweat that was already dampening his shirt from walking over from the theater, but Stretch felt a little unsteady from meeting Doris. He could use a dose of caffeine to shore him up.

Mitch didn’t look up from his paper, but he jerked his chin towards the back wall. “Yep, but the only coffee I got is hot. Ain’t no ‘spressos around here, Slick.”

“Hot is fine.” He didn’t bother correcting him on the name. Started with an S, close enough, they’d be best pals in no time. The carafe of coffee smelled surprisingly fresh, considering that Mitch looked like he’d been holding that chair down for a few hours. There was a plastic basket next to the carafe filled with little coffee mate creamer cups. He added four French vanilla, carrying his murky coffee up to the counter with Red’s six-pack. Beer was one thing they didn’t sell at the store, no alcohol at all, something to do with the liquor laws in this county and Red not paying those skinflint jackholes for a license, not on his ass, thanks much.

He paid for both, picked up his change from where Mitch tossed it unhelpfully on the counter and went outside, fumbling out his smokes on the way.

Stretch sat down on the crumbling curb, drinking his coffee and smoking, letting the caffeine and nicotine wash over him in a twin, soothing rush. He’d been trying to cut down with his funds being on the uncertain side, cigarettes were a pricy vice, and he couldn’t bum any from Red the way he did the beers.

The sun was still high overhead pouring down the heat, coming up off the pavement in shimmery waves. Sweat was rising up on his bones, his t-shirt clinging damply to his ribs and spine. Somewhere nearby, he could hear children playing, the hollow thud of a basketball and their laughter carrying on in the still air. He didn’t have anywhere he needed to be, no one’s expectations to live up to.

When his cigarette was done and pinched out, Stretch climbed back to his feet and headed for the grocery to drop off the beers before they got warm. Again, he went easy on the door, keeping the bell to a faint rattle rather than a clang. It was only when he turned around that he saw the front counter was empty, Red’s book bent open on the counter but no skeleton around to pick it back up.

He set the beers on the counter, calling, “red?”

No reply and that was strangely ominous in a little store where even a short skeleton would be hard pressed to hide.

There was a long hallway in the back that led past a couple storerooms to the apartment Red lived in. He gave the storerooms a glance, just in case Red had a sudden urge to restock the sanitary napkin display, and wasn’t very surprised to find them unoccupied. He saw the door to Red’s apartment was open a crack like it never was and that cranked ominous up to sinister. The lingering sweat on his bones was chilling in the air conditioning, but that wasn’t the only reason a sudden shiver rattled him.

“red?” Stretch called weakly as he pushed open the door.

The living room was small with a ratty plaid sofa and a coffee table littered with beer cans and balled up chip bags, and standing in the center of it was a person who was not Red, not unless he got one hell of a growth spurt while Stretch was gone.

Once, Stretch would’ve just taken a shortcut out, right the hell to the Sheriff station down the road and never had he missed the skill more than when the guy-who-was-definitely-not-Red started to turn around. The instinct to teleport was still there even if the ability wasn’t, fizzling out with an aching pain right in the middle of his chest.

It was only a minor distraction and Stretch blundered over to grab a lamp from a side table, yanking the cord right out of the wall as he brandished it over his head like a club, yelling shrilly, “what the fuck are you doing in here?”

The guy turned around, looking back at him with deep crimson eye lights that flicked briefly up to the lamp before meeting his wild gaze. His voice was as smooth and dark as deep water as he stated coolly, “I believe that’s my question.”

Stretch could stare and the only coherent thought amongst the many tangled ones scrambling through his mind was only two words. Simple. Descriptive.

Oh, shit.

-tbc-

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #underfell sans #underswap sans #welcome to backwater

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snkpolls · 4 years ago

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SnK Episode 71 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 176 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

RATE THE EPISODE 172 responses

This week’s episode keeps up the high mark of the previous episodes, with 98.8% of respondents giving the episode a score of 3 or higher (overwhelmingly 4s and 5s). Nice!

It was aight.

It's cool

8.5/10

great!

Very rocky imo in terms of animation, as the cracks are beginning to show but overall look like the backgrounds and music choices were top tier.

Really good episode, I was disappointed in the jacket scene but it’s not the end of the world

loved it

It was overall a great episode I loved it.

🔥🔥🔥

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 174 responses

46.6% of respondents overall were most excited to see Eren meeting up with Floch and the others, with 23.6% of those respondents favoring the scene of Eren putting on his jacket specifically. 12.1% most enjoyed seeing the angry citizens shouting out the Survey Corps motto. 9.8% were thrilled to see Zackley’s death animated. 8% were psyched to see Pieck in disguise at the end, and 6.9% most enjoyed the moment where Hitch caught Armin red-handed trying to touch Annie’s crystal.

YOUR REACTION TO EREN PUTTING ON HIS JACKET? 171 responses

Eren putting on his jacket was a scene many obsessed over when it first appeared on page and many looked forward to seeing it animated. Most of the response choices were focused on various forms of swooning over Eren and his abs. Some (13.5%) stated that they didn’t really understand the dramatism and some others (another 13.5%) simply stated that they did not see much in Eren outright. We’ve gotten a lot of write-ins about comparisons to the pre-animated trailer shot of said scene. More on that in a later question.

i mean i understand the thirst, but eh

Prefer manga :/

The trailer did it better

Meh. Better in the trailer and the manga.

TF was that? Well it's still good in its own way.

YES! YES! YES! YES! Y E S!

both "HOOOOOLYYYYYY 😳" and "so dramatic and for what?"

Trailer/Manga shot was way better

Manga shot/trailer version are way better. Dissapointed

Trailer looked better :(

Mappa only made Reiner thicc, why Eren is so frain he has 1,85! He is so strong in the manga

I don't care

Manbun.........👀

He can have my babies anytime 😌💅🏻

Not as sexy as advertised; that’s okay, though.

That scene looked weird af ngl. It looked better in the trailer 😔

Me after THAT eren scene: 🤰🏻🤰🏻🤰🏻

Eren makes my dick rise

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU NOW THAT WE APPEAR TO BE GOING BACK TO LEVI AND ZEKE’S PERSPECTIVE NEXT WEEK FOR A BIT? 171 responses

Levi and Zeke’s chemistry has been the subject of praise for many, so it’s no wonder that 87.1% of respondents are rather excited to get back to seeing Levi and Zeke again. Wow!

ARE ARMIN’S FEELINGS FOR ANNIE GENUINELY HIS OWN? 173 responses

Armin’s feelings for Annie have been looked at under a microscope for a variety of reasons, which is why we’re asking if you believe that his feelings for her are genuine. A plurality, 49.1% think that they’re a mixture of his feelings for her, as well Bertolt’s. Slightly less (30.6%) believe that Armin’s feelings for her existed since before any of the recent developments. Only a select few believe that he either became interested in her post-timeskip or that his feelings are solely influenced by Bertolt. One person doesn’t think Armin has any feelings for Annie at all. And a few others just don’t care.

Bertmin simping for Annie and that apparently being enough for her to start considering him as boyfriend material is the fucking worst. I hate this shit. It's made me like both characters considerably less.

Uhh Armin where ya reaching?!

He was interested with her even before it was revealed she was the Female Titan and now that he has Bertholdt's memories, he sympathizes with her too and wants to understand her more so maybe Bert's memories intensified his feelings

His feelings for Annie are mostly his own. Bert's feelings might be in there a little, but the feelings are still Armin's.

CONTINUITY ALERT! EREN HAS HIS HAIR UP IN A BUN IN YELENA’S FLASHBACK. THOUGHTS? 173 responses

Uh-oh, Eren’s hairstyle moment. It would appear that there might be a continuity error with Yelena’s flashback and whatever that means for the timeline. A slight plurality (37%) didn’t seem to care about this, actually. But 33.5% appeared to believe that it was a mistake on MAPPA’s part that might get fixed in the BluRay version of the episode. 16.8% also believe that it was a mistake, but don’t believe it’ll get fixed. 9.8% think that it’s actually a retcon and that Eren’ll have the man bun when Chapter 123 gets adapted in Final Season Part 2.

I hope it gets fixed because it's bugging me.

I really wish it was like how it was in the manga. Eren looks good with his hair down in his 16-17-year-old phase. Despite the error, it wasn't a deal breaker for the episode.

He looks totally gorgeous with his hair up in a bun, please let this mistake be

Honestly I don’t mind it. It looks great either way.

Eren in a manbun is a total win for me!

WHICH PIECES OF INFORMATION MISSING FROM YELENA’S ADMISSION IN THE MANGA DO YOU WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ADAPTATION? 163 responses

As with almost all dialogue-heavy chapters in this series, there are cuts. In this episode, these cuts mostly affected the conversation between Yelena and Pixis. The most yearned for cut material was Yelena never telling Eren to go along with the plan and Yelena saying that she used Floch as a “go-between” between her and Eren. Others also noted missing lines about Yelena wanting Eren to stand up for himself, Yelena stating that Zeke gave the volunteers a hopeful future and the idea that her and Eren came to quick agreement. The plurality (31.9%) however, didn’t seem to mind any cuts.

WHAT ARE YOU OVERALL FEELINGS ABOUT SOME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DETAILS BEING CUT? 161 responses

There is often a sort of expectation to have everything (or almost every) line from the manga adapted in the anime, so it’s interesting to see how people react to that sort of stuff. An almost 50% of respondents stated that they didn’t really care about the cuts, whereas smaller handfuls of respondents stated that the cuts either took away from the characterization of the conversation, or from the context and timeline-building purposes.

I'm not thrilled about the cuts, but I understand MAPPA can only fit so much in on each episode, so I'm okay with it

the yelena/volunteers plot has always been wonky and hard to follow

I don’t think it’s a problem, they need to cut certain things.

i literally never notice but i agree that it makes it harder to piece things together

Meh

It might seem for anime watchers that Yelena didnt do much, and Floch and Zeke that did the most part, in their own plans. Floch to betray and Zeke in predicting Eren wouldnt be on his side in some way. Yelena helped Zeke a lot to where he arrived in the rumbling

All of the above

ZACKLEY WALKS OVER TO HIS TORTURE MACHINE IN THE ANIME BEFORE MIKASA ASKS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO EREN, RATHER THAN GLANCE OVER AT IT AFTER HER QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE? 170 responses

There was a partially comedic insinuation in the manga that Zackley thought about strapping Eren to his “art piece”. The insinuation is possibly still there in the anime, but in a different form. So we asked how you felt about it. Slightly below a half (48.8%) stated that they thought the subtlety was still there. 18.8% thought the subtlety was lost with the small change and 8.8% believed the change made Zackley seem less unhinged. 21.8% really didn’t care at all.

Why is this a question?

The glance was funny as fuck in the manga, but might have been awkward to pull of in the animation

They're blown up tho, does it even matter?

DID EREN KNOW ABOUT THE BOMB? 170 responses

Whether Eren truly knew about the bomb is a bit unclear to this day and with how it endangered Armin and Mikasa. A plurality (40%) believe he knew about the bomb, but did not know about his childhood friends meeting Zackley. Slightly less (30.6%) think that Eren did not know about either the bomb or AM meeting the Artist. A minority (7.1%) does believe that Eren knew about both the bomb and meeting and 21.8% simply aren’t sure!

Even if he didn’t know, he obviously doesn’t care either way.

THERE IS SOME DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER EREN’S JACKET SCENE WAS BETTER ANIMATED IN THE PROMOTIONAL VIDEO OR IN THE EPISODE ITSELF. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? 170 responses

Here we go… The elephant in the room… Which Eren abs scene did you prefer? The Promotional video or the actual episode? A somewhat slight majority (57.1%) seemed to like the version seen in the promotional video more than the episode itself versus the ones who preferred the episode’s style (42.9%).

THE EPISODE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF FLOCH’S ACTIONS AS THE VOICE OF THE YEAGERISTS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT? 170 responses

Floch has always been a controversial character and the developments seen post-time skip have not been any less debatable. You may floching love him or floching hate, but he’s here and he’s staying for a while. A plurality (48.8%) notes that although they may not personally be a fan of the character, they truly do appreciate the nuance his appearance gives to the story. Just over a quarter (25.3%) stated that as big fans of the character, they’re looking forward to all the screentime the Flochster will receive. In contrast, 20.6% despise the man and his questionable haircut and are also dreading the showcase he’ll soon receive.

I hate Floch and will cheer again when he dies, but I enjoy his character.

I detest Floch but I'm not dreading all the screen time he'll take up.

Since he died in the manga, my hatred for him has cooled down somewhat now that I'm watching the anime.

I am once again asking for you to shut the fuck up, Floch.

WE KNOW NOW THAT EREN DID CONSPIRE WITH FLOCH TO BETRAY ZEKE TO ENACT THE RUMBLING. STILL, DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID IT BECAUSE HE HAS THE SAME BELIEFS AS FLOCH, OR WAS HE JUST USING FLOCH AND THE YEAGERISTS AS A MEANS TO AN END? 161 responses

An overwhelming amount of respondents (87.6%) stated that they believe Eren never truly saw eye to eye with Floch and his ideology and that Eren was simply using Floch as a means to an end. In contrast, 9.3% truly do think that Eren was ideologically similar to Floch and the “New Eldian Empire”. A select few thought you couldn’t just say one way or another.

They both wanted to protect Paradis

DO YOU THINK IF THE YEAGERISTS, BESIDES FLOCH, KNEW ABOUT THE FULL SCALE RUMBLING BEFOREHAND THAT THEY WOULD WILLINGLY FOLLOW EREN? 167 responses

The majority (53.3%) feel that the Yeagerists would see a divide if they knew beforehand that Eren wanted to initiate the rumbling, with some sticking around for the cause and others possibly leaving because it’s too extreme. 25.1% believe that they all would have fully supported the rumbling in the name of their own survival. 15% believe that every Yeagerist already knew about the plan to commence the rumbling, and only 6% feel that they would most certainly have betrayed the Yeager brothers (and Floch) if they had known.

I don’t know, this is a loaded question and I’m tired.

DO YOU THINK THAT, IF THE STORY ENDS PEACEFULLY, MIKASA WILL HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN HIZURU? 170 responses

While this plotline may not be going anywhere in the manga (or so it seems), the reminder of its existence is brought to light again as we revisit these older moments from the manga. 32.4% feel that Mikasa wouldn’t leave Paradis behind to start a life on Hizuru. 23.5% think that she wouldn’t leave Paradis behind, necessarily, but will still have a role to play in Hizuru. 21.2% think it doesn’t matter because Isayama has completely discarded (or forgotten) about this plotline. 12.4% don’t know what to predict (if anything) and only 8.2% believe that her future lies in Hizuru beyond the main storyline.

The last two options plus me not caring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hizuru is already rumbled, gone, but she will continue the azumabito clan in paradis

Is no one else gonna question Kiyomi's hair being sucked into her skull??? HELLO MA'AM???

Hizuru is likely flattened

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 171 responses

Episode 72 has already broadcasted as of the completion of this poll. For scenes that were most anticipated, 35.7% were most looking forward to seeing Levi and Zeke’s interaction in the forest. 33.3% most looked forward to Niccolo leaning straight from Gabi’s mouth that she is Sasha’s killer. 18.7% highly anticipated the Blouses learning about Gabi killing Sasha, and 9.4% were looking forward to Gabi/Falco and the Blouses gathering at Niccolo’s restaurant. Only a small amount were looking forward to Niccolo protecting Jean and Connie from drinking the wine.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Man the animation was gonky

no levi </3

So many faces of Niles are weirds !

Let hange aloneeeeeeee and happy, please

I have no word for this, but I feeling good

Shit is getting really real now!

Everyone talking about Eren’s abs and I just wanna say the music in that scene was amazing!

I loved how it was all neatly put together and fast moving

Armin looked so good. Homie walked from point A to B and i SCREAMED. Thank you.

i wish they included eren's warhammer escape from the prison, besides that solid episode all around, the people chanting 'dedicate your hearts' gave me chills

I can't stand Hitch at all but MAPPA made her really pretty. Re: The jacket scene The trailer version was pretty much identical to the manga panel. But I liked the version that made it into the final episode too. People have been so ridiculous about MAPPA ""ruining everything"" this season, they should stop watching if that's how they feel. I thought Eren looked great and found the sun shining on his abs funny. The scenery was better in the episode, imo. I hope they don't cut Jean's line about booze not caring about what race you are. Lmao

Meh. It's not bad of course, I just find the rythm weird and I don't really feel many emotions watching the episodes. And I was so thirsty for the jacket scene, and it turned out weird too.

Mappa pls stop drawing eren like shit he is gorgeous in the manga

MMGH SOON!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

You friccin moron, you just got zooked!

i miss eremin </3

Wish they had shown how eren used his titan powers to escape.

I'm so not looking forward to the controversy that's gonna be reignited during the EMA talk scene. I'm actually dreading it, but we'll finally get the Levi vs Beast Titan scene so I'll be fine

112 will destroy ships

I felt the animation was flawless as usual but the script was kinda boring, I expected more of these aspects: -Yelena, it was bland with the cuts -Hange, they cut something I cant figure what in this Yeagerists coup act that turned her scenes a little bit lacking? Idk something -Again the soundtrack in the episodes is so silent. The only episode so far I liked the ost beyond the Opening and Closing themes is Reiner episode. I miss the melodrama of Witstudio osts

Eren putting his jacket on in slow-speed whilst talking at regular speed is fucking trippy

Just happy to see Hitch!

It was slow and mainly plot driven. I enjoyed it despite the changes.

goddamn is that a hella well-animated explosion

more abs please

Great episode. Really ridiculous how many people overreacted about the jacket scene. It's ok to perfer the way the trailer did it but to those who say Mappa is ruining the adaptation because of minor things like this, calm down.

I wish the jacket scene was better But over all the ep is pretty good

Boring, but then again so was this phase in the manga.

I really like the VA they chose for Onyankopon! His voice is very warm and genuine, which suits his character well

The sunset was so aesthetically pleasing

yoooo just read ch. 138 and im crying in da club :(

These MAPPA episodes have been a low point for me. I’m trying to enjoy them because I love this story but it feels like a chore.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 161 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s4 #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot

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katachell · 4 years ago

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portal 2 project???

portal 2 has an AMAZING narrative. AMAZING. but if you want to rewatch the story... you cant. your two options are to watch let’s plays and randomly skip around to hopefully hear all the dialogue, or to read the quotes on the wiki... which are seperated by character, not scene, and dont give environmental details. this makes it impossible for people who dont want to put in a massive amount of time in to experience the story of the game in one definitive place. so, i propose:

THE PORTAL 2 PROJECT

the end product of this project would be a video, posted to YouTube, that has all of the relevant scenes and dialogue in order. it would play out like a movie, so people who haven't or don't want to play the game can still enjoy and understand the story in its entirety. it would use screen recordings of the game, so you can see whats happening and hear it.

what would be included in the video:

-any moment where there is dialogue (exceptions listed below)

-plot relevant details: for some examples, getting the portal gun, finding a rattman den, introducing a new puzzle element, when cave says that portals can be placed on the moon. (this is to better help people who aren't familiar with the franchise understand what the things they're seeing on the screen are.) (most of these would be short clips: for example, when hard light bridges are introduced, the clip would show chell walking up to it and standing on it, and then the video would move on.)

-major scenes, obviously. an example is when chell falls into the pit or unlocks old aperture.

-small, funny details. (without lingering for too long.) it wouldn’t be portal 2 if you dont show the little details! examples include the borealis dock, the elevator room screens, or when wheatly is monologuing and you can go back and he’ll keep monologuing (”you’re at my mercy! wait- come back! (chell goes back) FOOL! you’re at my mercy, and i dont have any!”

-exploring the enviroment: for example, the screen recorder would stop to look at the awards in old aperture, zoom in on chell’s name for the potato experiment, listen to the optional/hidden cave experiment dialogue, as well as look at old posters and signs that tell you about the dangers of old ap. just so the audience is grounded.

-ive touched on this in other bullet points, but not everyone has the time or willpower to look for the little hidden things in the game. this would make sure that you get a very full, portal 2 experience.

what would NOT be included:

-puzzle solving. some chambers take a few minutes to solve, and there is no dialogue. this interrupts the story. unless the puzzle solving is relevant to the plot, like quickly introducing new mechanics to the audience, it wont be included.

-unimportant dialogue. for example, in the neurotoxin generator area, whealtly will ramble for - i think i lasted 4 or 5 minutes before i left - a while, just trying to convince the neurotoxin generator to shut itself off or something. while entertaining, it takes away from the focus of the project.

an example of the formatting:

i imagine the format to look something like this: (im using chapter 1 as an example)

-full, uncut opening with the wheately escape. the cameraman waits at the door before opening it so you get his full dialogue. ~5 minutes

-chell goes into her old relaxation vault, listens to the announcer, puts a button on the pressure pad, then enters the elevator. this introduces the button/cube mechanic. (this scene comes directly after the last, with no cuts). since there is announcer dialogue and new mechanics, this stays relatively uncut. ~1 minute

-chell exits elevator, hears funny announcer dialogue. the camera looks at the room for 5 seconds so the audience understands the setting for the scene, as well as the act. ~15-20 seconds

-chell presses a button to open a portal. this is the first time a portal is seen. she walks through the portal. this introduces the core mechanic of the game. (~30 seconds) (once the mechanic has been used once or twice, the rest of the puzzle is cut)

that would be the basic format. for things like multiple uneventful test chambers in a row, it would show slow fading shots of the test chamber number so you understand that time is passing. this would be intercut with shots of the setting.

HOW CAN I GET HELP / THIS PROJECT STARTED??

getting all of this footage is too much for one person. editing it... is too much for one person. ALL OF THE FOOTAGE HAS TO COME FROM PEOPLE WORKING ON THIS PROJECT. IT CANT COME FROM OTHER PEOPLES YOUTUBE VIDEOS. For this project, I’ll need people to record the footage, people to help edit the footage, and 1-3 people who know the story well and are willing to go over the game’s plot and determine what scenes and details we need, so the records know what to record and what to focus on.

Do you want to help capture footage? if so, youll need:

-access to the PC version of the game with LOW LAG gameplay

-a screen recorder program. it CANNOT have a watermark on the finished product. needs to be high resolution footage.

-(the recordings will NOT feature your voice or a face cam.)

-(you do not need mods and please leave the portal gun with its base texture)

-(id be comfortable with each screen recorder person to cover around 1-2 chapters... so maybe 4-5 people, unless i can find more. youd be following some directions on what to record. you do not need to edit, just get the footage.)

Can’t do that? Can you EDIT video footage? you’ll need:

-a video editor. high quality. i dont know the editing industry, i dont know what software exists.

-MUST be able to export it without a watermark and in high quality.

-(each editor will be responsible for a chapter or chapters. then render your final product. one editor will put all of the finished chapters together. this means you can use different software from the other editors, and will have a good amount of control over your assigned part. i dont have a number for how many editors there will be. id like more than one.)

Can’t do that? What about choosing the important scenes and details and acting as a sort of ‘writer’ for the plot? You’ll need:

-a good knowlege of the game and its history and fun facts. if youre obsessed with this game and franchise... yeah same. but as long as youre interested and know it well, thats fine

-be able to browse the wiki

-time to review the game by watching lets plays or playing it yourself

-be able to choose the right details and communicate that to the screen recorders and editors. remember my example about chapter one earlier? youd have to lay it out in a similarly comprehensive way.

-take constructive criticism

-must be older than 14 for this. youve gotta make a lot of decisions in this role. ive seen some really creative and talented high schoolers, so thats where im drawing the age line.

-(im hoping for 1-4 of these people, including myself.)

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN HELPING, SEND ME A DM. IF YOU’RE CHOSEN TO WORK ON THE PROJECT, I’LL SET UP A DISCORD FOR THOSE INVOLVED. IF THIS GETS SOME SORT OF MASS SUPPORT, I’LL SET UP A DISCORD FOR ANYONE INTERESTED IN UPDATES.

The purpose of this project is to make it so you can relive the portal 2 plot without having to replay the full game. Other methods do not exist. No one video shows the plot in order with ‘filler’ removed. Voice lines exist in text form, but do not capture the visual aspect of the game, or give context, and are not a full experience. This story is a masterpiece and deserves to be edited so it is comprehensive and all in one place. No one will claim credit for owning portal 2 or writing the story - the video is showing gameplay, and just so happens to be the relevant gameplay. However, screen capture, editing, and direction credits will be given to everyone who participates. This project will allow you to introduce friends and family to the game without sending them a video where only 5 minutes out of the 1 hour video is relevant. I have wanted this project for a while, but I’ve realized that I can’t do it alone. Even if you can’t help directly, please spread the word and reblog.

#portal #Portal 2 #wheatley #Chell #glados #cave johnson

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smkkbert · 4 years ago

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Last Wish (8/15)

Oliver feels like his life is crumbling when his best friend reveals that she is sick. Desperate to help her through the toughest time of her life, Oliver puts all his energy in fulfilling the wishes on Felicity’s bucket list. His hardest challenge - Felicity’s last wish on the list is getting married.

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or read everything on Ao3

* * *

Felicity looked from the pile of clothes and other stuff to the almost completely filled suitcase and back again. There were still so many things to pack since she had so much of her stuff here, but she was too exhausted to pack the rest. That terrible seizure and all that lying around in the last days had thrown her back a lot. As much as the therapist had tried to help her recover, her tumor was making it hard to do so.

Every course of disease is different, Felicity, so I can’t tell you what it will be like for you. What I can tell you is that it’s unpredictable. There will be times when you will feel better and times that you will feel worse. Even if you feel bad one day, you can still get better although the tumor keeps growing. We’ve talked about the longtime consequences, and there will be setbacks that will be hard to recover from. Your entire immune system is busy with this tumor. Every major setback and every additional trouble will be hard to come back from.

Shaking her head, Felicity pushed that thought away. She didn’t want to think about that now. She had enough time to remember all the terrible things she had been told about her tumor and what it would do to her once she had packed completely. There was more than enough time as every second spent with it was already a second too much.

Felicity turned her attention back to her task at hand. She tried to get up, but her legs were trembling too much. She didn’t trust them to carry her weight, so Felicity dropped back onto her mattress. Although there was no weight on her legs anymore, they still continued trembling, showing her how exhausted she really was.

Maybe she could ask one of the nurses to help her pack, but then again it wasn’t their job. They had more important things to do, and Felicity didn’t want to bother them. A woman in her twenties, no matter how sick, should be able to grit her teeth and pack her stuff. Her exhaustion was coming only from the tumor. It wasn’t coming from years of a hard life or almost porous bones. It was only coming from her head.

With that thought in mind, Felicity got up from the edge of the bed and slowly walked over to the wardrobe. She put her hands to one of the shelves. Clinging to it, she squeezed her eyes shut and took in a deep breath. Colorful dots were dancing in front of her eyes. Her knees were trembling slightly, but they didn’t break away from under her.

It had been nice to have so much of her stuff with her during the last days. That way, she hadn’t felt as miserable as she was sure she would have felt otherwise. Being in this foreign, sterile place had been hard enough, especially with all the memories of all the time she had spent in the hospital. If she hadn’t had her stuff around, it would have only been worse.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut even more, trying not to think about the last conversation she had had with Oliver. The thought that their last conversation might be the last they ever had with each other had only made it worse. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. The thought was even following her into her sleep, getting her some terrible nightmares.

Since Felicity knew that she was going to die, she had imagined what her last moment with Oliver would be like a lot. She had developed different scenarios, but every single one had allowed her to say something funny or meaningful to him before she passed away. None of it was as hurtful as the things she had said to him yesterday. Neither of them would have had to feel guilty or whatever.

Felicity shook her head firmly. As hard as it was, she was going to leave the hospital. With that, she was going to leave Oliver and the life he had offered her behind. It was better for him, for his family and even for her. It really was better for all of them if they cut it here.

Sucking in another deep breath, Felicity grabbed the last pile of clothes from the shelf and put it into her suitcase. She held her breath, hoping it would give her the strength she needed to walk over to the bed and drop her clothes into the suitcase. Her steps were a little more quickly when she hurried back over to the bed. Some of her shirts dropped next to it, but Felicity couldn’t care. Quickly, she sat down on the mattress next to her suitcase.

She was feeling dizzy already. As little as she had done, she was feeling like she had run a triathlon and marathon on the same day. Every single one of her muscles was feeling exhausted and powerless.

It was probably the best decision to finally go to a hospice now. Her body had already accepted that it was time for the end. As much as she had thought that she was ready to accept it, her brain hadn’t really processed it. It had just made her believe that she was really ready. Living with Oliver, who had been anything but accepting of the truth either, had only worsened it.

Felicity rubbed her hands together between her knees, and pursed her lips.

She wasn’t doing it for herself though. She was doing this for Oliver. Just like he had wanted to protect her from dying alone, she wanted to protect him from everything he was putting on himself right now. He had lost himself in the idea of helping her through it. Felicity had always thought that she had a handle on it, but Oliver had proved her very, very wrong on that.

With another sigh of regret, Felicity got up and tried to close it. She had no idea how Oliver had managed to get the zippers shut when he had brought all her stuff here. He must have either a secret technique to pack without wasting space, or he must have used pure brutality. Maybe it was as simple as the fact that he was able to use both of his hands though.

Anyway, Felicity couldn’t offer any of that, so she sat back down on the mattress. Her eyes fell onto her motionless hand, and it made her heart sink like it had when she had first realized the loss of sensation and movement. It was only the beginning. Felicity knew that. Still, it hit her every time she thought about it.

Until she died, it would get a lot worse. She’d lose control over most parts of her body. She wouldn’t be able to walk anymore or to move at all. She could maybe forget how to talk or how to hold her pee. Every day was going to be a new, terrible kind of surprise bag. She’d get – or rather lose – something new every day if things became worse and they would become worse.

Something inside of Felicity hoped that it was over before it got too bad. Her talking and babbling was part of who she was. Without it, she lost a lot of her personality she guessed. She lost her identity of a huge part of it at least.

Losing her ability to hold her pee was going to be humiliating. Felicity knew that a lot of people lived with bladder bags and even colostomy bags, and they got along with it. They learned to live with it if they had no other chance, so Felicity knew that it really was possible to get used to it. The thought still seemed kind of terrifying right now though.

The thought of any more seizures was just as terrifying. She had felt so out of control, so helpless, so afraid.

As much as Felicity had thought that she had processed her nearing death or that she was ready to help anyone getting through it, she knew that she wasn’t. She felt completely disconnected from her life, at least right now. She felt like she was floating outside of her body, looking down on herself living this life without knowing who she was looking at exactly.

A knock at the door made her flinch. She quickly wiped away the single tear that was rolling down her cheek and took in a sniffling breath.

Was it Oliver, she asked herself. Because they were best friends and because of the deep feelings they had for one another, they could sometimes feel what the other was feeling. They had that kind of sixth sense when it came to each other. That was how close they really were.

If it was Oliver, what was she going to say to him though? As much as she wanted to take back what she had said before because she was scared of dying with those regrets on her heart and because she kind of wanted him to know what she was feeling for him, Oliver would continue to lose himself in his need to help her. She couldn’t do that either.

Felicity needed to protect Oliver, and she needed to protect herself. They both needed that kind of protection. If Oliver couldn’t offer it, she would have to do it. Maybe it sounded harsh and a million other things, but it was the better for the both of them. It was the only way that she could protect Oliver since she wouldn’t get another chance.

Straightening up a little, Felicity took in another deep breath. She did her best to push away the thoughts that had still overwhelmed her a couple of minutes ago. She put on a smile, at least a half-hearted one, and cleared her throat.

“Yes?”

The door opened. Felicity’s heart skipped a beat before it started racing in his chest. Barely five beats had passed before Robert stuck his head into the room. Felicity’s heart sank from disappointed and lifted in relief at the same time.

This entire situation had been confusing before Oliver had told her about his feelings for her already. Since then, she felt like she had to restructure her entire life. While that wasn’t always a bad step, Felicity felt unsafe and alone right now. Her life was destructuring itself already. She didn’t have to add to that.

Her eyes fell onto the engagement ring on her finger, and her heart ached once more. With everything falling apart inside of her, Oliver had wrapped his arms around her and tried to give her hold from outside. He had been her lifebelt.

Without him, she was floating around without anything to hold onto. She was completely lost at sea, fearing to be pulled under the violent waves without any chance to get back to the surface. She was being suffocated by everything around her.

There were more reasons why Felicity would have liked to get married to Oliver though. He wasn’t only offering safety and stability. He was also offering warmth and understand and real love. He really loved her, and Felicity believed it. She even felt the same way, but she couldn’t tell him that. She could offer warmth, understanding and love too, but she would also bring pain, misery and uncertainty. She didn’t want that for him.

“I’m sorry.” Robert smiled softly as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “I guess I am not who you wanted to see.”

Felicity cocked her head and looked at the man she was closer to than she had ever been to her biological father. She guessed that the disappointment had been the dominating expression on her face which was interesting since she considered the relied the dominating feeling in her chest. Maybe her face just gave away more than her heart was letting on.

“I’m glad that you are here.”

Felicity’s voice sounded hoarse which was probably a sign of how she hadn’t spoken since Oliver had left her bedside yesterday. She didn’t have many friends. Her colleagues, some of her former neighbors and people of the tech community had sent bouquets and some baskets with stuff she might need to feel better, but nobody had shown up. The Queens were the only reals friends she had, Felicity guessed, and she would have to leave them behind.

Thinking about that, Felicity narrowed her eyes at Robert slightly. His words told her that he knew she might have expected Oliver. She just didn’t know if Oliver had told his dad the truth about what had happened, or if Robert had simply guessed something was wrong because Oliver wasn’t spending every second he was awake with her.

“Do you need help with your suitcase?”

Felicity looked from Robert to her suitcase and back again. Biting on her bottom lip, she looked at him and nodded her head then. Robert’s smile made the glimpse of a smile spread on her lips too.

She watched him taking off his light summer coat and dropping it to the chair next to the door. He looked incredibly elegant, like he always did. Felicity knew by now that it had a lot to do with Moira and her need to always create a picture perfect. Still, she still couldn’t forget how she had always admired Robert for looking so mighty even if he didn’t try.

Robert crossed the room with three large steps and stopped in front of the bed. He rubbed his hands together like he was about to solve a difficult task. Using one hand to press the top of her suitcase down, he used the other hand to close the zipper. Within seconds, he was finished. He lifted the suitcase from the bed like it was as light as a feather and carried it over to the door.

When his eyes met Felicity’s the next time, she could see that he hadn’t just come by to see how she was doing. He had come here for a reason. He had things to say, and Felicity wasn’t sure she wanted to hear them. Still, she knew that she couldn’t really tell Robert that as he had done so much for her.

Biting down on her bottom lip once more, she closed her eyes. She turned her face away and lowered her head. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it in the way the mattress dipped that he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

There was a long moment of silence. Robert didn’t say word. He just reached out his hand wordlessly and wrapped his fingers around her left hand. She couldn’t feel it there, but she could feel it from the weight of his hand on her knee where her own hand was resting too. Apparently, although the tumor was growing in her brain, it still found a lot of ways to make up for the abilities its little habitant was making her lose.

When Felicity eventually opened her eyes, Robert was smiling at her softly once more. His head was still cocked at her.

“Nobody really knows you are coming home today,” he told her, not a single reproach in his voice, “I would have come here earlier to help you pack if you had told us.”

Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them over her teeth. She felt a little guilty since she would have left without saying goodbye if Robert hadn’t shown up here. Her guilt was a little limited though because she was sure that the chief of the hospital himself had called Robert. Apparently, they went golfing together once a month, so Felicity was sure that he had told him that Felicity was about to leave as well as the fact that she wasn’t going to go back to Queen Manor.

Although Felicity knew that she had a reason to be angry, she couldn’t get herself to care. Being angry wasn’t going to help her, and she was actually kind of glad that Robert knew the truth now. She wouldn’t have dared to call him and tell him the truth otherwise.

“You are going into a hospice?”

Felicity nodded her head, unable to say a word. She knew she could trust Robert. If she told him what had happened, he’d listen and give her the same advice he had given Thea if she had been in the same position. Since he was Oliver’s father, and Felicity didn’t know what Oliver had told him, she didn’t want to interfere with that though. It wouldn’t be fair.

“What hospice?”

“Dawn of a second life.”

“Dawn of a second life.” Robert blew out an impressed breath. “I guess they couldn’t find a bigger name?”

Felicity chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant. She hadn’t liked this name either. It was too big, too corny. Since it had been the only hospice around that had been able to offer her a room for the unforeseeable time and that had agreed to do so although nobody could really say how much longer she was going to make it, she had booked a room at their building. She knew it was going to make her roll her eyes a lot, at least if they acted the way their name made it sound.

The reason why Felicity was scared of going to a hospice because she didn’t want every single second of her life to be about dying. She didn’t want any conversations about how death was going to take something from them, but also help them find peace. She wanted an escape, and she wasn’t sure if she got it.

Releasing a long sigh, Felicity shook her head. The hospices she had called were all highly recommended. She had read several assessments of people that had been there with people they loved that had died as well of people that had commented on the services before they had passed away. They had all been more than satisfied with what they had gotten for the money.

“Why?” Robert’s voice was lowered to a soft whisper. “Why did you choose to go into a hospice after all when you know that you have a home with us?”

She had a home with the Queens. Felicity knew that. She appreciated that. Maybe she even feared it because she knew that they didn’t understand the depth of what they were getting themselves into. They should know it after everything they had been through with Thea, but she had died so quickly and without any warning that maybe they didn’t think it was the same.

Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was at least a little bit easier because they had time to say goodbye to each other. Still, it just wasn’t as easy as they might think it was.

“It’s better that way.”

She said it surprisingly firmly. Felicity guessed that her heart was a lot surer that this was the right thing then she was getting right now. At least she was sure enough about this to do anything in her power to convince them it was better to let her go now.

“Is it because of the feeling you and Oliver had for each other?”

Felicity turned her head quickly, looking at Robert with sharp eyes. She tried to read his face and see the answer there already, but she couldn’t. She had no idea how much Oliver had told him.

“What did Oliver tell you?”

“Nothing.”

Waiting for him to continue, Felicity held her breath. She could see in Robert’s eyes that he was serious though. Oliver hadn’t told him a single word, and still he knew about their feelings for each other. He also knew that something had changed since Oliver had come home from the hospital yesterday.

Robert really was a good father, and it wasn’t the least surprising to Felicity.

With a long sigh, Felicity turned her gaze away from Oliver. She lowered her face, letting her head sink until her chin rested on the top of her chest. She felt her heart beat firmly and the little breaks she had felt every single second since she and Oliver had talked yesterday seemed to increase with every beat now.

“Oliver told me that he loved me.”

Felicity’s voice was trembling slightly, and she felt tears burning in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry though. The headache she had had all day was bad enough already. Crying would only make it worse. She couldn’t have that right now.

“Was about damn time if you ask me.”

Frowning, Felicity looked at Robert once more. “Since when do you know?”

“For a while.” Robert sighed. “Before Thea died.”

When her frown deepened, Robert looked away. It wasn’t fast enough for her to miss the glimpse of guilt in his eyes. Felicity didn’t get it. What could he possibly feel guilty about?

“I watched him distancing himself from his feelings for you. I doubt that he was really successful at doing it, but I think he tried very hard to believe that he had. I don’t know why he did it. Maybe he thought he was too broken to be good for you after Thea died. We were all so broken. I saw him losing track of who he had grown to be and what he wanted from life, and I said nothing.”

Felicity shook her head. “You had your own feelings to go through after Thea’s death. Even if you hadn’t, Oliver was an adult. I don’t think that even a fatherly advice could have helped him… or us.”

Robert seemed almost relieved that she was thinking that way. Maybe he had needed to hear that being unable to be the father that he had wanted to be for Oliver after they had lost Thea did not mean that he was a bad father. He was still one of the good ones.

“Now, what’s wrong with Oliver telling you that he loves you?” Robert asked eventually, clearing his throat from the lump Felicity was sure had built in his throat. “I always thought that you loved him too.”

Felicity pursed her lips, but she didn’t say a word. She couldn’t say the words out loud. If they said them out loud and told anyone, especially someone as close to her as Robert, that she loved Oliver, it was going to become incredibly real. She couldn’t have that. She didn’t know what she would do if that happened.

Robert loved Oliver, and he loved Felicity. She was sure that he had a lot of things to say about all of this. She just wasn’t sure if those were the right things. The gentle expression in Robert’s eyes just proved to her that he wasn’t seeing the entire picture. Again.

“Do you really want your son to lose his heart to someone who will die within the next months?”

“Oliver already has lost his heart to you.”

Felicity pressed her lips together. She knew that Robert was technically right, but he missed the point here. The more Oliver gave into this feeling, the worse it would get. She tried to protect him. Why did nobody – not Robert, not Oliver himself – get that?

“I know what you are doing.” Robert’s voice was low and gentle. “You want to protect Oliver from suffering through the pain of losing you.”

Felicity pressed her lips together even more tightly. Maybe he did understand what she was doing. In that case, Felicity guessed that he just didn’t agree with her opinion.

“I do understand you,” Robert repeated eventually, “but I don’t agree with you.”

Bingo.

If Felicity weren’t still feeling so weak and exhausted, she’d get up and pace the room for a bit. She knew that it would make her feel a lot better. She couldn’t do this right now though. It would only show her how much she had lost already which would make the thought of what she was forcing herself to give up only worse.

“What good is it going to do if you or I or anyone tries to push Oliver away from you?” Robert’s voice was light, but his words weighed heavy. “It won’t make him fall out of love with you in case that’s what you think will happen.”

Felicity clenched her teeth. The truth was that she had no idea what exactly she thought was going to happen. She just knew – or at least she hoped – that Oliver wouldn’t suffer that much if she died. It was a fade hope, but it was all she had.

When Felicity eventually dared to look away from her feet and lock eyes with Robert, she still saw no reproach there. He really just wanted to know what exactly she was intending with all of this. Maybe he wanted to convince her otherwise too, but he wouldn’t urge her if he knew that she had made up her mind and was sure about this.

That was the point though, wasn’t it? Felicity wasn’t sure that she was doing the right thing. She broke her heart. She broke Oliver’s heart. She didn’t know if taking their chances of enjoying a little time together was going to help him ease the suffer of her death.

“When Thea died, Oliver was so, so broken,” Felicity whispered eventually, her voice trembling once more at the way her heart broke just thinking about it, “that he barely recovered from it. I don’t want that to happen to him again. I know he will grieve, but I don’t want it to be that bad. I want-“

Felicity’s voice broke, so she stopped and sucked in a deep breath. Saying it out loud only made it sound weirder and stupider if that was even possible. Then again, it told her that she didn’t really knew what she wanted. At least she wasn’t a hundred percent sure about it.

Of course she wanted to protect Oliver, but there was something else she wanted. Deep down, she wanted something else. It was selfish and dangerous, and it would break her heart as much as it would break Oliver’s, but she couldn’t help herself against it. If she was a hundred percent honest with herself, she wanted Oliver. She just couldn’t say that out loud, and she couldn’t follow this thing she wanted. It wouldn’t be fair because she wouldn’t live long enough to live with the consequences of her selfishness, while Oliver would.

“Oliver has suffered a lot when Thea died, and I don’t want that to happen to him again. I cannot put him through that again. If there is any way for me to protect him even from a fracture of the pain he might be going through, I will do that. I need to protect Oliver.”

She felt a tear rolling down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. Her head was pounding already. She couldn’t have that. It was only increasing the feeling of dizziness and exhaustion.

Robert put his hand to her head and stroked it over his head. It was the fatherliest gesture Felicity had every experienced. She felted comforted and protected at the same time. Kids growing up with their fathers doing something like that for them were certainly really lucky.

“Nothing you can do will spare Oliver any pain,” Robert told her gently, “because he will love you no matter what.”

Wasn’t that what everyone wanted? To be loved by someone no matter what?

Felicity shook her head. “He shouldn’t.”

“But he will nonetheless, Felicity. Nothing you do will make his loss mean any less. Nothing you do will make this easier for him. Besides, Oliver makes his own decisions which, if I remember correctly, you told me a couple of seconds ago, so you should know better than to make a decision for him. Besides, in all of this, we are always talking about Oliver, but there are two people in this as it should be in any good relationship. So, Felicity, what do you want?”

Another tear fell from Felicity’s eye. A lot more followed. Felicity let her face sink into her hand and sobbed.

Robert was right. Nothing she could do was going to prevent Oliver from going through unbelievable pain. Nothing she could do was going to prevent him from feeling as lost as he had left after Thea’s death. Nothing she could do was going to take his pain away from her. No matter how much she wanted it.

Soothingly, Robert rubbed his hand up and down Felicity’s spine. He didn’t say a word. He just sat there and waited for her to say anything once she was ready. It was exactly what she needed because she couldn’t say or hear anything for now.

She loved Oliver so much. She loved the idea of getting a chance at exploring what could be between them. She knew that it might not necessarily be the fairytale-like love she was envisioning in her wildest dreams. Still, it might be something good or even something great.

If she pushed Oliver away and neve really gave it a try, she would never know. She would die, not knowing if the man who had grown into be her best friend so easily might have actually been the love of her short life.

Felicity just wasn’t sure if she really wanted to try it. She wasn’t sure what would change within her if she discovered that she had found love so close before it was over. She didn’t really know anything other than that she almost hoped that it was going to be over soon.

She really wanted things to be over. She wanted her life to be over.

As if Robert knew what Felicity was thinking – maybe the particularly loud sob that fell from her lips gave her away – he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. As soon as Felicity’s head sank against his shoulder, Robert tightened his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head. His lips pressed down on the crown of it gently before his chin was resting back there again.

“I know life is forcing you through a hard decision,” he whispered eventually, rocking her from one side to the other like a toddler you were trying to sing to sleep, “and it’s not fair. Nobody should be urged to make this kind of decision, especially at your age. I know that you are stronger than most people though, and I know that you will make the right decision eventually. You will make the decision that you know is best for you because, although it’s scary, it’s the thing you need to do. You owe it to yourself.”

Robert put his hands to her cheeks, cradling her face in his gentle touch and angled her head back until she was looking at him. Through the tears in her eyes, she was looking at him. The expression in Robert’s eyes was still comforting and soothing, but it did little to calm the hurricane of emotions wrecking through her right now.

“You have to make the decision that you know is best for you,” he repeated once more, “because it’s what you need to do. You owe yourself some happiness, and Oliver owes himself to really let himself fall into love, no matter how badly it will hurt eventually.”

Maybe Robert was right, but maybe he was wrong. Fact was that Felicity couldn’t tell. She had no idea what was right or wrong anymore. How could she?

“You have to make this decision though,” Robert told her, “I can’t make it for you, and I won’t. I will leave you alone to make your decision, waiting in the car all day if necessary. I don’t have any appointments, so please don’t feel urged to hurry with your decision. I have got a great book with me to read until you have made your decision.”

Robert angled his head brushed his lips against Felicity’s temple. When he pulled back, he looked at her urgently, making sure that Felicity knew that he was serious. He was going to wait all day, longer if necessary. Then he left her alone, leaving her behind to make her decision.

However long it took.

* * *

The knuckles of his hands as well as the muscles of his shoulders were aching – even more so, they were screaming in pain – from exhaustion. Fine drops of sweat were running down Oliver’s forehead, dropping from his eyebrows into his eyes. It clouded his view and made his eyes burn, but he tried to fight it.

Since he had left the hospital last night, Oliver was going back and forth between beating himself up for telling Felicity what he was feeling for her and convincing himself that going to the hospital and shake her until she realized that she wasn’t protecting him. Oliver knew that trying to protect him was the reason she had told him to leave. She didn’t want him to suffer.

He’d suffer either way though. Felicity just didn’t see that.

In an uncareful moment, when Oliver lunged out particularly far, John dropped the boxing pad. Oliver knew he was going to fight back now and hurried to hit his fist right into his friend’s shoulder. John was quicker though. He ducked away from Oliver’s punch and took a step towards him, putting Oliver’s head in a headlock.

“Okay, okay,” Oliver said, lifting his hands in defeat, because he knew that he couldn’t possibly win against John at this point, “I surrender.”

John didn’t have to be told twice, so he let go of Oliver, who quickly distanced himself from his friend. He took three steps back on the training mat, already opening the hook and loop fasteners of his boxing gloves with his teeth. As soon as he could, he shook the gloves off his hands and let them drop to the ground.

“Water?”

Oliver nodded his head and quickly lifted his hand, just in time to catch the bottle of water that was tossed right at him. The bottle landed against the palm of his hand, so he could quickly wrap his fingers around it. He opened the bottle and took some well-needed gulps of the cool liquid.

When Oliver closed the bottle again, he realized that John was almost staring at him. At least his eyes were focused on him intently, and there was a scrutinizing expression in his eyes.

“What?”

Oliver knew John well enough to know that he had something to say to him. He was sure that he didn’t want to hear it, but he had to ask either way. If John didn’t tell him what he was thinking now, he would continue looking at him like that for the rest of the day, probably even longer.

“How are you feeling with all of this?”

“All of what?”

Oliver knew that he sounded pissed which wasn’t fair to John, who was certainly just honestly interested in hearing what Oliver was thinking and feeling. He was his friend after all. Still, Oliver couldn’t help himself.

“Being engaged to Felicity. Seeing her cramp so badly after that. The fact she has been in the hospital ever since.”

Three things Oliver really didn’t talk about right now. His engagement to Felicity felt like it was over before they had gotten a real chance of celebrating it. The moments of seeing her cramp still haunted him in his dreams. That she had been in the hospital ever since didn’t sit well with him, but he knew it was only giving him a taste of what his future without her would look like. Because of the way he had pushed the boundaries of their friendship – or maybe because she was too scared to give them a try – he was losing her sooner than he had expected her to.

Oliver couldn’t and didn’t want to talk about any of that. That was why he just shrugged his shoulders. Then he turned away and tried to busy himself with the hem of his shirt as the lose thread there seemed to be the only barely interesting thing there was.

All morning, he had gone back and forth between whether or not he should go to the hospital and talk to her once more. He had considered taking his words back, but he knew it would be a lie. The truth – his feelings for Felicity and his wish to have a future, however short it might be – was finally out there. Taking it back was only going to be a lie, and he wouldn’t lie.

The rising of his heckles told Oliver that, as much as he tried to make this subject seem finished, it wasn’t finished for John. His friend was looking right through his façade, and he wanted him to say more about this. He wanted him to say the truth about how he was feeling.

As little as Oliver was willing to give in to that, he knew that he didn’t really have a choice. John would make him talk one way or the other. The sooner he gave in, the sooner he could try to move on from this conversation.

“I told Felicity that I loved her and that I wanted to be together.” Oliver continued to stare at the lose thread like it was a lifesaving thing. “She rejected any real conversation because she thinks that her sickness should stop us or me for that matter and told me to go.”

“And you went?”

There wasn’t really a reproach in John’s voice, but Oliver felt like it was one after all. With anger in his eyes, he turned around and looked at his friend.

“She is sick, John.” He said the words with emphasis like saying them should be enough there was. “She is sick. She is still recovering from her latest setback. She needs rest. If she tells me to go, I go.”

“Probably a wise decision.”

Oliver had known that John wouldn’t reproach him for leaving since he knew how much courage it must have cost him to tell Felicity that he loved her. Maybe he would convince him that he should go back now, but he agreed that leaving hadn’t been an act of cowardice or anything like that. It had been a decision to spare Felicity’s energy.

That John wasn’t condemning his actions made Oliver a little more willing to talk about this. He knew he could talk to John when he couldn’t talk to anyone else. His parents might not know it yet, but they were still quite busy processing Felicity’s sickness. It was reminding them of Thea’s death although they hadn’t gotten any time to process that it was going to come.

“I know that Felicity is sick and I know that it makes things difficult,” Oliver replied with a low sigh in his voice, “but that shouldn’t stop us. We have so little time left that we should use it. Besides, if Felicity is feeling anything like I am, she can’t push those feelings aside forever.”

She just couldn’t. Oliver had gotten distracted from his feelings after Thea had died, but he had never really been able to push them away. If Felicity felt a fraction of what he was feeling for her, she wouldn’t be able to hide from her feelings or run from them.

“Do you think she has feelings for you?”

He could taste the little, hopeful word yes on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to believe that Felicity loved him as much as he loved her. It would break his heart if it was any different because he and Felicity had almost always been on the same side.

There had been a time when Oliver had been almost sure that he and Felicity were feeling the same way for each other. There had been those almost magical moments. All it would have required for them to kiss was for either of them to gather their courage and make the first move. It would have been as natural as breathing.

A lot had happened since then though. Oliver had changed a lot, and Felicity had certainly seen him at his worst and weakest. He couldn’t count the number of times she had found him completely drunk and helped him to get into bed. She had held his head and rubbed his back when he had needed to throw up, and she had held him when he had cried like a baby.

“I don’t know.” Oliver lowered his eyes to his feet and shrugged his shoulders once more. “Five years ago, I could have sworn that she was falling in love with me too, but she had seen so many sides of me. She has seen so many dark sides of me. So much times has passed. Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe too much has happened.”

It was a thought that would probably never leave him. For the rest of his life, Oliver knew he was going to ask him if he and Felicity had been destined to be together and life had just decided to open a war against destiny. Whatever higher powers there were had decided to fight against everything that had made his and Felicity’s paths cross and just do everything in their power to keep them apart.

It was sappy and almost a little poetic which really wasn’t Oliver’s usual style, but he couldn’t help himself. Apparently, fearing this loss was making everything worse.

The low sound of a throat being cleared came from behind him. Oliver didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. He would recognize her and every sound she made instantly. If he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his thoughts, he would have noticed she was there even without hearing her.

When Oliver turned around now, he saw Felicity standing close to the door. Her face looked white except from the dark rings under her eyes. There was a nervous expression in them, but it was clouded by the exhaustion there. She was holding her hands in front of her stomach. Her right hand was holding the left one, her thumb massaging the palm of her hand although she probably couldn’t fell any of it.

Oliver knew that he was staring at her. He couldn’t help himself though. He hadn’t been sure if he got to see her ever again in this life.

“You’re here.”

It was a stupid thing to say because it was obvious that she was here. Still, he didn’t know what else to say.

Felicity shrugged her shoulder. “Your dad convinced me that I should come here.”

Instead of going into a hospice. The words stayed unsaid, but they lingered in the room between them. Felicity had given up on life. That was why she didn’t want to give love a chance now, and that was also why she wanted to go to a house that was the last stop of sick people.

“He asked me to come to the mansion, I mean,” Felicity added eventually and fumbled with her hand nervously, “and I guessed you would be in here, so I decided to go upstairs and… check if I was right.”

Of course she was right. She knew him so well that she would always know where to find him. It shouldn’t be surprising. They had that kind of connection.

There was another thought popping up in his head though. Felicity had been actively looking for him which probably meant that she wanted to talk to him. He hoped that it was a good sign, but he didn’t want to be too hopeful.

“Is that safe?”

It was John asking the question, and Oliver couldn’t be more relieved. He wasn’t sure that he would have found the courage to ask because he was too afraid about the answer.

Again, Felicity shrugged her shoulder, before she replied, “Those seizures can happen more often now, but the doc said it was okay for me to leave. I got a medicament that is supposed to prevent these, but it’s not like it will work a hundred percent. These seizures can happen nonetheless.”

Nothing was really safe the way it was. This tumor was unpredictable, except for the fact that it was going to kill her.

John crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Felicity. Between his trunk-like biceps and against his broad chest, she looked even tinier than she was. She seemed to enjoy being in John’s arms though because she closed her eyes with a low sigh of content and snuggled into the hug.

She looked comfortable like that. Oliver could see that easily. She was so close to John that just this hug alone was making her feel a little bit better. Unsurprisingly, it made Oliver felt better too.

When John let go of her eventually, he smiled gently. “I should go.”

He said it to her, but it was clear that it was meant as a statement to both of them. They should get a chance to talk to each other. As long as he was there, they couldn’t do that. John knew that as well as Oliver and Felicity knew it, too.

John put his hands to Felicity’s shoulders and looked at her intensely. He released a long sigh then. A deep furrow formed between his eyebrows, telling Oliver that John had been quite worried about Felicity too. For Oliver’s sake, he had done his best to hide it though.

“I am glad that you are okay because you scared the hell out of me there for a moment.” He leaned over and brushed his lips against her cheek. “Keep your chin up.”

Felicity shot him a brief smile. John squeezed her shoulders in response. Shooting only a brief, but all the more meaningful glance towards Oliver, John eventually left.

Although Oliver knew what John had meant to say with that last glance, Oliver had trouble to act accordingly. All he could do was standing there like a complete idiot, watching Felicity, while she was looking at her feet. Just like he himself, she seemed to try gathering the courage she needed to talk to him.

When she lifted her gaze eventually, she sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t look particularly uncomfortable, but it still took a lot form her.

“Can we please sit down?”

Oliver was surprised that Felicity asked it, or maybe he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure. Given how exhausted she looked, he guessed that he shouldn’t have been surprised about it though.

“Sure.”

Massaging the back of his neck nervously, Oliver looked around. There wasn’t really anything to sit down and talk comfortably. Maybe they could sit down on the training bench and-

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when Felicity made a much easier decision. She simply sat down on the training mats, cross-legged and with her hands in her lap. Her gaze was lowered to her hands again. Only now Oliver realized that her eyes weren’t just glued to her fingers. They were glues to the engagement ring she was still wearing. She was still wearing it.

Carefully, Oliver sat down across from her. He mirrored her position, crossing his legs and keeping his hands in his lap. He looked down at his hand. Not for the first time, he wondered how his hand would look with a wedding band around his ring finger. He was certainly going to like it since it was going to remind him of the eternal connection he had made with Felicity.

Oliver could only hope that he would get a chance at making this connection with Felicity. He knew it was a fade hope, but he still had it.

“I am sorry for reacting the way that I did.”

Surprised by her apology, Oliver lifted his gaze. Felicity looked hones though. She was really feeling sorry that she had reacted the way that she had.

“I am sorry too,” he said, swallowing all the words of love that threatened to fell from his lips again, “because I know that I ambushed you with this, and I shouldn’t have done that. Given how you were still recovering from-“

“No.” Felicity shook her head firmly. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was harsh and unfair and a million other things that I can’t even describe right now. I know that I shouldn’t have said what I said, especially with that firmness and-“

“If that is what you feel, it was better that you told me because-“

“I don’t know what I feel.”

She was almost breathless saying that as the words had just fallen from her lips so quickly. Her cheeks turned red at the way she was looking at him, and she lowered her gaze quickly.

Oliver just watched her for a long moment. He wanted to give her time, making her know that it was okay if she couldn’t say what she was feeling because she really didn’t know. It was okay not to know, and it was okay that this conversation wasn’t easy for her.

As much as Oliver tried to keep his thoughts straight, they were spinning. Felicity didn’t know what she was feeling. Although it wasn’t what he had hoped to hear from her, it was still better than the way they had left the last time. There was a tiny little bit of hope that maybe she was feeling for him the way he was feeling for her too.

“The problem is that I feel so detached from the future,” Felicity whispered eventually, the highness of her voice telling Oliver that she was close to tears even before she lifted her gaze to look at him with glassy eyes, “because I know that I don’t really have any, at least not a long one.”

It wasn’t easy on her. Oliver had always known that it couldn’t be easy on her, but now was the first time that he could really see her struggling with it. She had always done her best to hide her feelings, trying to make it seem like she had processed her impending death already. Now, for the first time since she had told him about her sickness, she was letting her guard down. That she was doing that in front of him meant a lot to Oliver because it was saying a lot about how much she trusted him.

There was a not-so-small part in Oliver that wanted to tell her how he was feeling for her again, so she knew that she did have a future with him. He knew better than that though. Her eyes told him that she was so very tired and incredibly insecure about all of this. She didn’t know what she was feeling, and she wasn’t ready to discover it now.

Since she didn’t know what she was feeling and Oliver didn’t want to push her for that, he thought about something else. He focused on the fear and the real emotions in her eyes. Although he could see it in her eyes, Oliver still needed to hear the words from her. He and Felicity had been through so much, and they had always been honest to each other. They should be honest to each other now too.

“Are you scared?”

It shouldn’t have been as much of a question was it was, but Oliver knew it was better than confronting her with the fact that he knew that she was scared. She might react to his words with rejection, unwilling to let anyone see how she really felt.

When Felicity’s eyes met his, she released along sigh. Her shoulders slumped slightly and her fingers laced together. She lowered her eyes to her fingers once more, taking her time to decide on an answer.

“Death can’t hurt me more than having cancer does,” Felicity whispered eventually, lifting he gaze towards him once more, “it really can’t.”

Oliver could see in Felicity’s eyes that she was being honest here. In her mind, nothing could possible be worse than that. For her, cancer was her worst enemy.

She had been seven years old when she had had cancer the first time, and she had suffered badly from it. She had spent a lot of her childhood in the hospital, away from other kids of her age. Cancer has driven her into the position of a weirdo because she hadn’t been like the usual kids her age. She never had been, Oliver guessed, but cancer had certainly made it worse.

Oliver reached out his hand and grabbed her right hand. He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her hand into his lap. Felicity lifted her gaze, locking her eyes with his. There was an expression of helplessness in there, the same helplessness that had been his companion in the last weeks.

“I don’t want to prolong my suffer,” Felicity whispered, her fingers holding onto Oliver’s fingers a little bit more tightly, “because I know it will only get worse. Really, I am more afraid of what other symptoms will show up than about dying. Is that crazy?”

Without hesitating, Oliver shook his head. “No, of course not. Nothing you feel about the situation you are in could be crazy. You have a right to all of your feelings, and nobody should be allowed to tell you otherwise.”

Felicity smiled in silent gratitude. The smile was more in her eyes than it was on her lips. Oliver could see it nonetheless, though. Since the smile had been barely more than a glimpse, it disappeared before Oliver could find some comfort in it. It was his turn to smile at Felicity comfortingly.

“I’m scared of what comes next,” Felicity whispered, her voice so low now that Oliver barely dared to breathe, “and I am afraid of what will happen to the people I leave behind. There aren’t too many because my mom is dead, and I couldn’t care less about my father, but you and your parents… I-”

When tears ran down her cheeks, Oliver tugged at Felicity’s hand. She hesitated only briefly before she crawled over and sat down in his lap with her legs wrapped around his hips and her right arm wrapped around his neck. Her chest was pressed so close to his that Oliver could feel the wild beating of her heart. With a low sob, she dropped her head to his shoulder and hid her face in the crook of his neck.

Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity’s trembling body quickly. He held her as close to him as possible, closing his eyes with long sigh. He angled his head a little, pressing his nose against her shoulder and breathing her in. He couldn’t even say how much he had missed Felicity these last hours. Holding her like this made him feel safe and comforted, and he hoped it was the same for her.

“We are going to miss you like hell,” Oliver whispered, his arms tightening around her once more, “I am going to miss you like hell.”

He felt his throat burning and his chest tightening at admitting this. Swallowing all the words of how he was really feeling had always felt and maybe even been easier. As hard as it was talking about it now, especially to Felicity, he already felt that it was the right thing to do. It was long overdue.

Sucking in a deep breath, he took all of his courage to say the next words. Since he knew how important it was that Felicity heard these words and believed them, he pulled back slightly. He put both of his hands to Felicity’s cheeks, framing her face with his hands gently, and looked at her intently.

“Felicity, you are the only one who is important right now though. It doesn’t matter how it will affect my mom or my dad or even me. We will cope with it if we know that you felt safe and taken care of during your last weeks. You shouldn’t feel alone because you are not alone.”

Oliver could almost see the words sinking in with Felicity. The soft trembles that made her body shake slightly ebbed away slowly. Her eyes found more focus. The uncalm expression in his eyes calmed down.

Tears were still running down her cheeks and with another low sob, Felicity rested her forehead against Oliver’s. The tip of her nose bumped against his. Her breath was ghosting over his chin. Her lips were barely a breath away. He could almost taste them already. It made goosebumps spread all the way down his back, and the small hairs on his forearms rose.

It was so easy to just lean in and capture Felicity’s lips with his. He thought back to their moment in the library when being silly had led to him kissing her. It had felt so good and so right. Oliver would love to experience that again.

Now was just not the time since Felicity was crying. If he kissed her now, she would probably give into it, but it would be ambushing her. He didn’t want that. Life was ambushing her already, so he shouldn’t be doing the same thing. Their timing was just bad which shouldn’t be surprising. He and Felicity really had bad timing it seemed. It had felt like he had thought about that now wasn’t the time for anything important too many times in the last weeks.

“Are you coming home now?”

Without pulling away, Felicity nodded her head. She was going to stay. She was going to stay here. She was staying with him.

“Can I continue making your wishes come true?”

Again, Felicity nodded her head before she leaned it against his forehead even more firmly. She moved her face slightly, causing her nose to rub against his in the best way possible. Oliver put his hand to the back of her head, combing her hair with his fingers gently.

He loved her so much, and she’d make all of her dreams come true if she just let him.

Before Oliver could say anything more, Felicity suddenly stiffened slightly. He was about to ask her what was wrong, worried that she was feeling unwell, but Felicity pulled away quickly. For a second, Oliver fears that she was moving away from him completely. Instead, she just pulled away enough, so she could look at him through the tears in her eyes.

Taking in rushed and quick breathes, she wiped the tears from her cheeks with her right hand. Oliver could see that she was trying to get a hold on herself. Knowing that she needed help with that, he put both of his hands to her cheeks and looked at her intensely. As soon as her focus was on him, Oliver took in a deep breath and Felicity followed suit.

They breathed together like this several times. He could see Felicity calming down and getting a handle on herself, and he felt the same effects on himself too. His heartbeat slowed down. Oxygen flowed through his veins.

“I-“ Felicity’s voice was hoarse, so she stopped and cleared it quickly. “I wrote into the book that I wanted to meet my dad, right?”

Oliver nodded his head slowly, unsure where this was going. He guessed that it was the one wish that she didn’t want to be fulfilled because it wasn’t really a wish for her anymore. She was no little girl, wondering why her daddy had left her. Maybe she still wondered and maybe it still made her feel like she was a little girl, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault that her father had left. That was why she could live without ever seeing or talking to him again.

“I think that wish already came true.”

Frowning, Oliver tugged a strand of hair that was clutched to Felicity’s wet cheek out of her face. His fingers bushed against her tender skin after that, and Felicity leaned her face into his touch with a long sigh of content.

“Today, I realized that, though I will never see my dad again, that’s just not that bad because I have found a new dad in yours. Robert is… he’s not my dad, but he is as the best father-figure I could have hoped for. Is that weird?”

“No.” Oliver didn’t hesitate. He shook his head firmly. “No, that’s not weird at all.”

Felicity was right indeed. Robert was certainly a good father-figure. Oliver had probably complained a lot about his dad when he had been a child or a teenager, but he knew now that he could have had a much worse dad. At least his dad loved him and he cared about him.

He also cared about Felicity.

“Everything that’s mine is yours,” Oliver told Felicity with soft voice, earning him a little smile, “including my dad.”

Felicity dropped her head back against his forehead and closed her eyes once more. A long sigh fell from her lips, and she moved the tips of her finger through the short hair at the back of his head, just letting all of this sink in.

Just like he had said, Oliver knew that everything that was his was indeed Felicity’s too – whether it was his home, his dad or his heart. Everything that he had or would ever have was going to be Felicity’s too.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer-blog @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @mrt2501 @arsipaci14 @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl-blog @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @bri206 @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups @snorlaxishere @sonothappening118

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

#last wish #olicity #olicity fic #olicity fanfic

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bonnieisaway · 5 years ago

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A Stupidly Long Critique of Saiki K: Reawakened

A Fuckton Of Spoilers Ahead

So I went and watched the new season/continuation of Saiki K today on Netflix and.

Boy, do I have some words.

Spoilers under the cut!

Alright. So as I’ve said, today, (Dec 30th) Netflix decided to rip The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K out of Funimation’s hands and make their own continuation- Saiki K Reawakened. A 6 episode continuation and ending to our beloved show, that’s been hyped up for weeks now.

..Except, it doesn’t really feel that way.

The first episode, (Three Men, A Little Girl, A Police Officer, And A Dog) first of all struck me with this- they no longer had opening/ending theme songs. I posted about it earlier but this made me really upset. The op/ed songs are one of my favorite parts of the anime. Youth Isn’t So Cruel is a beautiful song, The Most Favorable! is hyper active and just a fun listen, Silent Prisoner is bad ass, and Put Your Hands Up always put a smile on my face, and that’s just the opening. But Netflix decided to take away the songs and it’s upsetting. I would’ve been happy even if they just re-used an old opening, because I was expecting something and it was really disappointing.

The episode itself was a bit upsetting itself. I like watch things in order, but the chapter this episode is based off of is literally like the 10th chapter of the manga. I can’t find the exact one at the moment but I remember it was early on (hence, Nendo and Kaido arguing about which one of them is Saiki’s friend and such.) Even then- I went in expecting 6 episodes about his powers reawakening, not “Here’s 5 episodes of chapters we skipped and then we’re gonna mention the powers being reawakened.”

That’s probably one of my biggest problems with Reawakened. It’s just makeup work.

I think it would’ve been better if they put these episodes either in the places they belong or in the Season 3 category under the original show. They didn’t deserve all this hype for filler.

Another thing I missed was that usually, after the ending song in every episode, there’d be a small narration by Saiki of what would come next week. Those were also super funny and I missed that. I feel like Reawakened was a bad fanfiction Netflix wrote which just killed the original work. I thought Reawakened was gonna be a bad ass, slow escalation of Saiki’s powers cranking themselves back up to what they were before the ending of Season 2. And it kind of disappointed.

That isn’t to say Reawakened didn’t have it’s few funny moments. I think the “useless powers” bit actually made me pee a bit.

But it was only of a few. Most moments felt out of character, or out of place, and the bit with the whole “teacher with a 10-year-anniversary-Jump’ was excruciating to sit through. I did like Saiki’s little smile at the end though. It felt like Saiki’s few expressions that make my heart scream ‘uwu’ were the one thing keeping me watching the show.

In Episode 3, (New Teacher with an Outstanding Feature), I personally felt like Iguchi’s existence was a dead horse they kept beating with a stick every time they called him a pervert. He just genuinely made me uncomfortable and felt like a bad forced joke.

On the contrary, Hii felt like a great addition. I think they should’ve added her in the original two seasons in the first place, where she was supposed to be. I didn’t know till the other day that she came in way earlier. She’s a lovable unlucky klutz and she produced some genuinely funny moments. (Though, that whole ‘what happened last time’ bit kinda hurt my soul.) Episode 4 was one of my favorites just because of her. It felt like she brung back what Netflix stripped away from the original anime.

Before I get to the big money maker, episode 6- I have to point out the elephant in the room.

The fucking English dub.

I figured out that I could turn it on at some point during the episode with the useless abilities so I turned it on. I had heard the trailer with Saiki’s..new VA… but I figured he’d grow on me along with the rest of the cast.

Oh my god I was so wrong.

All I heard was Kuniharu’s and Saiki’s voice and genuinely, I nearly threw up. I’ve never had such an urge to slam my head into a brick wall until I heard the voices. I can’t even say much else because I didn’t and still do not have the willpower to sit through the English dub. It’s just.. so.. bad. I can’t stand it. I know that we can’t have the original English cast back because Funimation copyright yadda yadda I get it. But good lord. I can’t stand Saiki’s voice actor. The sarcasm sounds forced, the pauses are uncomfortable, and it just..hurts. The original one felt fluent, and just organic. The English dub made me, in short, want to blow my brains out.

That aside- episode 6. Saiki Kusuo gets his motha’ fuckin powers back.

I had my hopes low when I started this episode out of fear since some of the others literally just made me want to gag myself.

But episode 6… (muwah.) A masterpiece. No anime is perfect but oh my god.

I loved how Saiki kept forgetting he couldn’t use his powers. Call it weird but the way he’s kind of a tsundere in the sense of lying to himself that he doesn’t like any of this and would be much better off without them is one of my favorite things. And it’s even better when he runs out of lies and has to face it. And even then- as his powers slowly integrate back, I about died. It was so funny, with Tortisuka holding his shoulder when he went invisible and Saiki using that as a way out of it, or hearing others thoughts and thinking of it as an auditory hallucination. I didn’t like how the thoughts sounded distant and kind of echo-ey compared to when they were easy to hear before, but that might just be me.

Also? This scene right here? Where all of his friends protect him and he’s upset because he had to be protected? I started bawling. Maybe it’s because Aunt Flo’s in town and I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to Saiki, but it just hurt so bad watching him upset like that. And on a personal level, I felt where he was coming from. I don’t cry much at movies or TV or anime but good grief, I was crying in the club.

The whole meteorite heading to destroy Japan had me in a bit of shock. I saw the cryptic advertisements hyping Reawakened but I almost forgot about them and even then a meteorite didn’t seem dire until it seemed like Saiki had no say in anything.

As the climax builds and Saiki hears his friends panic-

-also featuring the best line uttered by Akechi ever- but even as Saiko says “I need to get my friends to the bunker aswell!” (which, holy shit, I didn’t care for Saiko but that got me to tear up?) I was losing my mind. After so much disappointment and just agony from this continuation- this had to be the best scene there. It’s hard to describe. It’s just so much emotion.

And then it happens.

The ever tsundere-lying-to-himself Kusuo accepts that he’s a psychic who doesn’t mind his disastrous friends sometimes. What a way to end the anime. Call it a cliche beginning-is-the-end but I’ve never been happier to hear those Japanese words. I’ve never loved an ending so much. It emotionally hurt and was hell, but I loved it. This has been my stupidly long criticism of Reawakened!

So, tl;dr, Reawakened had it’s hard weak points but I’ll be damned if I didn’t love the ending. We love my favorite boyo, Saiki Kusuo. Also I’d die for Hii. Goodnight.

edit: recently i noticed that Saiki's eyes compared to everyone elses doesnt have detail (no pupil/shine etc) except for that epic ending scene with Saiki and I jsut- HOLY FUCK here's a gifnthat kinda shows my point- his eyes transition from normal to detailed

#Saiki kusuo #saiki k reawakened #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki k #critisism #i dont know how this got so long

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shinobisakura · 5 years ago

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A Flowers and Shuriken.

PROMPTS CURTESY OF @shisakuweek FOR ShiSakuWeek2020

Friday 21st August :

Soul mark AU

Where you bare a soul mark that corresponds with your soulmate. You can only see your own soul mark, and it flashes when you’re going to meet them soon.

Chapter 1 sets the scene. Chapter 2 is the real interaction. Might actual make a few more chapters to this, rework it and then post on AO3

Chapter 1

Early mornings were not good for Sakura. Ever. Early mornings usually meant skipping breakfast, meeting up with Team 7, an all-out brawl with Team 7, Kakashi-sensei finally showing up several hours after he said to meet up and followed up with some incident that usually dragged her on shift at the Hospital.

Usually.

Toady was not a usual day. I was an incredibly unusual day.

“I’m sorry what?” Sakura spluttered staring at her master.

Sakura along with Yamato, Shikamaru and Hinata were all stood in the Hokage’s office for a last minute mission. None of them knew what it was about, and so far all they’d gotten out of the Hokage was that it was an urgent and immediate mission. So collect your shinobi packs and go. This was the type of mission urgency that only ANBU were sent on- with the exception of the Kazekage retrieval mission a few months ago.

“You four are going to the capital for a very important mission. Because its in the capital, I need the best I can get, and right now that’s you lot.”

“Its not Tora again is it? That mission is such a drag.”

Tora. That damned cat! If Tsunade was sending her on another Tora mission she’d just blow her top. Thirty times as a genin was enough thank you very much.

Tsunade however didn’t seem affected by the comment, and remained as stern as she had began the mission briefing.

“No it is not Tora.”

Silence. Clearly despite the urgency of the mission, Lady-Tsunade was trying to think of the best way to explain the mission without exposing anything critical. Hinata looked around for a moment and then chose to speak up.

“Ts-Tsunade-sama, you said you need the best, but, wouldn’t Na-naruto-kun or Saskue-san or Shino be more suited?”

“No this isn’t suited for them. Naruto and Saskue are likely to burn down the capital in a brawl, Shino is too quiet for this mission, and honestly from what I’ve heard, the Daimyo hates bugs. That would go down just as well as sending you with both of the team 7 idiots. I don’t want Kakashi reading porn in the palace and I really, really don’t want to hear that Genma slept with another Daimyo’s daughter or wife. I just about negotiated for his life in the last case.”

That… was sadly very true. Genma and Raidou had been sent to guard Shizune whilst her fellow medic-nin healed Madam Shijimi. Apparently Genma had caught the eye of the Madam and Daimyo’s daughter, who instantly wanted to add a shinobi shaped notch in her bedpost. That had gone so well for him that it had taken the elders, Lady Tsunade and an offer of engagement for his daughter from the Water Daimyo (curtesy of Naruto begging Kiri’s jinchuriki to help arrange it) for the Fire Daimyo to forget he ever wanted Genma’s head on a pike.

Either way, from Tsunade’s explanation she wasn’t necessarily after the best shinobi but rather the most capable of them. At least the most discreet. Shikamaru seemed to see it that way too.

“So not exactly the best, just the least likely to cause trouble. Damn what a drag.”

“I need you four to meet up with the Daimyo’s guard and pass on this scroll to the guard head. You will return accompanied by said head guard, with the exception of you Yamato, who will be taking over the head guards position until otherwise relieved.”

“Why us? This is going to be such a pain.” Shikamaru compained for the third time that morning.

“Because the four of you are the most qualified for this job. The three of you are all chunin or higher.” Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose. “In addition to this, Sakura you have your own mission.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s this particular mission that is why you will accompany this team. Once there you will be team leader, as your mission takes over.”

“What? But surely the Head-guard would take over being the more experienced jonin?”

“No. This is your personal mission scroll Sakura. It is only for your eyes and you are not to open it until you reach the guard. Once you’ve read it, you will understand why it is that the team will be under your command. Is that Understood?”

“Understood.” Sakura nodded and then hesitated, her sudden departure from the village might cause more problems than Tsunade would expect.. “Tsunade-hime, will you inform Team-7?”

“I’ll make sure Naruto and Saskue know and don’t burn down the village looking for you.” Tsunade nodded. “Go home, collect your essential and then depart from the sothern gates once you’re all there.”

The team stood to attention and then with that the team departed.

Within only twenty minutes, the newly formed Captial-Team had geared up, departed the village and were well on their way to the heart of the Fire Country.

“Who is the Daimyo’s head guard anyway?” Shikamaru asked.

“I thought you’d already know?” Yamato blinked back in surprise.

“I know he’s Konoha shinobi, but I didn’t bother to know exactly who. The Daimyo goes through them that quickly.”

That was certainly true. When Sakura had been in the academy it was a well known fact that the Daimyo was sending back the Head-guard every few months. None meeting his personal standard, and some not wanting to deal with the Daimyo’s family any longer.

“It’s Shisui Uchiha. Shisui-san has been the Daimyo’s head-guard the last three years.”

Uchiha? Sakura thought. Saskue had mentioned he had a cousin on a long term mission with the Daimyo, but she hadn’t realised it was Itachi’s Shisui.

“Jeeze, that long? What a drag. What’d he do, beg the Hokage to give him relief or something?”

“I don’t know.” Yamato shrugged.

“It’s- it’s probably because Shisui is the most qualified genjustsu shinobi, aside from Itachi-san. There might be a new mission he’s needed for.”

Sakura snorts at that.

“That’s what Sasuke will have you think. I have it from good authority that Shisui is better than Itachi.”

“And who’s that?” Shikarmau scoffed.

“Itachi himself.” She snorted.

That was true. Itachi had once told her over dango that he and his cousin often spared, but Shisui was always one step ahead. Apparently Itachi said that even Shisui’s sharingan was stronger than his, which was a feat in itself as usually it was only main branch Uchiha who’s sharringan had that much potential.

Hinata giggled at that and Shikamaru groans.

“I do believe that is a good authority.” Hinata quipped.

The team lulled into a silence for a couple more miles before Shikamaru spoke up again.

“So Ino said your soulmark’s been flashing.”

Ah Sakura thought. Yes that was true. The last couple of days the soulmark on the inner of her elbow had began to flash bright every so often. She’d only noticed it the morning two days past, having taken of her guards to realise the mark was flashing. She couldn’t tell if she was excited, happy or terrified at the prospect of meeting her soulmate. The mark itself already telling her she’d have feeling for whoever it was.

“Yeah. So?”

“Well doesn’t that usually mean that your about to meet your soulmate?”

“I don’t know Shikamaru, did that happen when you and Temari met?”

“Ugh. You and Ino are going to kill me with your questions. But if you must know yes. What about you Hinata? Did your soulmark flash when you met Naruto?”

“N-no. I believe that the Soulmark only flashes if you and your soulmate are going to have a romantic meeting.”

“But it has flashed for you and Naruto?” Sakura raised her eyebrows.

“Y-yes. Naruto’s soulmark flashed just before he asked me to dinner in Suna.”

That was surprising, seeing as Hinata had been making moon-eyes at Naruto since pre-academy. But then again, Naruto had had a crush on her until two years ago when Sakura explained soul marks to him. Apparently no one had bothered to teach Naruto in the orphanage and since Saskue had met his own soulmate- and it was Uzumaki to everyone’s amusement, Naruto had been confused as to why Saskue was interested in talking to this brash girl since he hadn’t even bothered looking at Sakura.

It had been funny to see Naruto realise that the mark on his hand which no one else had seemed to ever notice, was in fact his own soul mark- A Lion. Then barely a week after it had began flashing and he was Hinata using her new Gentle Step style. Since then the two had began dating and Hinata had blossomed in confidence whilst Naruto developed a new self-awareness (at least where Hinata was concerned). Sakura had thought the reason Naruto’s mark only flashed then was because he hadn’t known that it was his soulmark, but apparently Hinata knew otherwise.

“What about you Captain Yamato? Did your soulmark flash when you met your soulmate?” Sakura looked at her team captain. Said Captain turned bright red and nearly missed ducking a branch.

“What makes you think I have a soulmark?”

“The fact you just turned bright red?” Sakura pointed out. “So who is it?”

“None of your business!”

“Oh come on. Hayate and Yugao are soulmates. Naruto and Hinata, Shika and Temari. We deserve to know!”

“Asuma and Kurenai. Hanabi and that Konohamaru kid.” Shikimaru added with a nod.

“Even Kakashi has a soulmate.” Sakura shot in too, and Shikamaru glanced over to her in surprise.

“Really? Who? Not Gai right?”

Sakura snorted but before she could reply Yamato yelled back at them.

“OF COURSE KAKASHI SEMPAI’S SOULMATE ISN’T GAI!”

“…Is it you.” Shikamaru asked a sly grin on his face before he dodged a kunai thrown at his face.

“I guess so. Wouldn’t have seen that coming.” Sakura grinned at the other two before they continued on, joking as they went.

It didn’t take them too long, and they arrived at the capital in less than a day, and after an hour of paperwork and approval, they found themselves in a cheap hotel on the outskirts of the city.

“Tch. The Daimyo certainly knows how to treat his shinobi.” Shikamaru groaned.

“I thought you’d be pleased, you get to sleep in a bed before we go speak to the Daimyo and his guard.” Sakura quipped back.

The group unpacked their gear slowly making use of their down time before the following day.

“So. What’s your soulmark?” Shikamaru asked raising his brows.

“Shikamaru-san! You can’t asked that.”

“Why not? Might help us narrow it down. There’s a good chance she’ll beet whoever it is in the city, seeing as it only recently started to flash.”

That was true. Soulmarks always corresponded with Soulmates in one form or the other. It just took a little longer for some people to work out.

“Good point. Only fair you tell me yours first.”

“Meh, mine is a fan. You know, cause Temari uses them or something.”

Hinata giggled at that before adding her own.

“M-mine is a kitsune-festival mask.”

Sakura laughed.

“Oh, those are definitely big hints. Although if you didn’t know Naruto it might take a little longer.” Sakura shook her head. Those were easy to recognise.

“So what is yours.” Shikimaru asked, breaking Sakura’s thoughts.

“It’s… It’s weird. It’s like some strange curved Shuriken or something.”

“A shuriken?”

“Kind of? It’s just weird. I thought maybe I’d run into a shinobi who used a custom shuriken or something? Maybe a pinwheel? But I don’t know anyone outside of wind country who are related to pinwheels.”

“Weird.” Shikamaru agreed. “Usually a Soulmark is connected to something unique about the person not their weapons.”

“You literally just said your soulmark for Temari is a fan.”

“Because her jutsu is unique and connected to fans. There have only been three shinobi in Suna history to use fans to slice air.”

“Fair enough.” Sakura slumped down. Her mark would be difficult to work out.

“Look lets sleep on it. Maybe in the morning you’ll know more.” Hinata added and they nodded in agreement. Sleep sounded wonderous.

Chapter 2

“YOU WANT TO WHAT?!”

Apparently the Hokage had not sent word to the Daimyo about the change in his guard. Said guard was stood, face entirely blank, beside the screaming noble. So far the scroll handed to him had only upset the Daimyo into something of a tantrum. In fact, Naruto’s own tantrums when told he couldn’t have ramen seemed like an elders council speech compared to the display before the team.

“We are here to exchange Captain Yamato here, for your current head guard Shisui Uchiha. Whilst we understand the lack of notice -something urgent has come up that only Shisui can help deal with. Yamato here is more than qualified to guard yourself and your family Lord Daimyo. In fact he is the only Shinobi aside from the First Hokage to have the Mokuton. Lady Tsunade selected him personally to ensure your safety.”

If there was one thing Sakura had learned from her master, it was the art of kissing up to nobles to get the outcome you want. Well that and how to hold ones liqueur. But only one of those skills was useful right now, and if anything Sakura would kill for a drink to help deal with this.

“Why?”

“Because your safety is paramount to the peace of the Land of Fire, my lord.”

“No. Why do you need Uchiha?”

“I’m afraid that’s above our clearance to know. As the Hokage’s apprentice she thought that my presence might help reassure you the urgency of this mission as well as our knowledge of how important you are to the Land.”

A little lie didn’t hurt either.

“Yes, yes. I did find it odd for Tsunade to send two clan heirs and her own apprentice.” His face seemed stunned for a moment before he masked it with a sagely imitation of wisdom.

Clearly, only now had the Daimyo realised who Sakura was, probably having thought she was simply a pretty face added to placate him. Technically that was probably also part of Tsunade’s planning, but Sakura didn’t need to let him know that.

After a little more back and forth, Shikamaru adding that technically Shisui was due to leave from the guard anyway, the Daimyo finally agreed. With that they regrettably left Yamato in place of Shisui and the group left. Not having shared a word with each other until they were long out of the capital.

The group stopped after an hour of running and opted to set up camp.

“Holy shit.” Shikmaru finally burst.

“Y-you sounded very convincing S-sakura-chan.”

Sakura, to her credit, simply shrugged as the other collapsed in giggles.

“I had to train with Homura and Koharu in the art of politics. The Daimyo is nothing compared to those old bats and the clan elders.”

Shisui laughed at that. It was warm and reminded Sakura a bit of Naruto.

“Right, before anything else. My name is Shikamaru Nara, this is Hinata Hyuuga, and the political negociator over there is the Hokage’s apprentice.”

“The name’s Sakura.” She grinned. “Very sorry for the unexpected legal kidnapping.”

“I honestly didn’t expect it. So tell me, why have you retrieved me?”

Sakura opened her mouth before closed it. She didn’t actually know, she hadn’t even read her scroll yet, so right now it could be anything. Technically the brief had been to swap Yamato for Shisui and have him accompany them in whatever the new mission was.

“Gimmie a second.” She finally said, pulling out her own mission scroll. It was written formally like any other mission scroll, but there was an obscurity about it that made Sakura scowl.

Sakura, apprentice of Hokage Tsunade. Your mission is to heal the damage done to Shisui Uchiha’s eyes through use of the Sharingan with the assistance of Hinata Hyuuga and Shikimaru Nara. Here is the knowledge compiled on the degenerative abilities of the Sharingan, and what little knowledge we have on preventing it.

Please report back to the village once you are confident in having gathered all the necessary things.

Dispose of this once read

Signed.

Homura Mitokado

Koharu Utatane

Hokage Tsunade Senju.

That- That was impossible. Tsunade herself had explained to Fugaku that the sharingan’s damage was irreversible.

“Are they- THEY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” Sakura yelled, ripping up the scroll.

“What? What?!” Shikamaru, for once in his life, looked worried.

“Those- those idiots are expecting a miracle.”

“What?”

“Tell me Uchiha-san, how long have you been going blind?”

The following exchange went from Shisui initially denying it to finally Sakura giving him a lecture that he was acting like Saskue did when he was being stupid about a critical injury on a mission. Shikamaru and Hinata decided to make themselves scarce during this exchange, which Sakura thought was probably from learnt experience with her and her squad. After a bit more back and forth Shisui pouted and sat down as ordered, allowed Sakura to cast a diagnostic jutsu after explaining she was a medic-nin.

“So you know Saskue?”

“I’m on his dumbass original genin squad. Sakura Haruano. I’m pretty sure Itachi probably mentioned me at some point.”

“You’re Sakura?”

“What were you expecting. Some burly woodcutter type?”

“I was expecting someone a bit... Younger?”

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M OLD!”

“No! No! I just keep imagining Saskue and his team as 12 year old genin. It’s hard to picture him as anything but.”

“Well him and Naruto technically still are genin. Saskue ended up injured the past two chunin exams. Different incidents of course. And Naruto went on a round trip with the Pervert himself.”

“Pervert... You mean Jiraiya?” Shisui seemed stunned at the name.

“Yes. Could you activate you Shaingan for me?”

He obliged.

“Okay. Now seeing as its just us. Can you show me your other form of sharingan.”

“You know about the Mangekyo.

“Itachi mentioned it on one of his physicals. Said it was draining.”

Shisui nodded, and then activated it.

Sakura froze completely and almost immediately Shisui deactivated it.

“I'm sorry! You asked me to activate it!”

“You- you - you-” Sakura couldn’t get the words out.

How. How the hell was her soulmark in his eyes.

Of course she knew the answer. He was her soulmate.

“I ams sorry. I know that it’s a bit intimidating, but you didn’t seem-”

“Shut up a second!” Sakura finally cut him off. “What’s your soulmark?”

“What?! What does that have to- It’s a flower. Actually, hang on!”

He pulls out a pressed flower from his jacket. It was a purple bell shaped flower, and instantly Sakura recognised it.

“That’s Aconite.” Sakura blinked at the flower.

“Yeah?”

“It’s poisonous.”

What kind of dumbass walked around with a press of a posioness flower in his jacket. Sakura herself didn’t do that. That was beyond stupid and dangerous. Sure she used it all the time, but she was a medic nin she could handle and accidental poisoning. Unless of course Shisui was a poison expert and was using it in some sort of concoction.

“It is?”

No. Apparently he was a dumbass like Naruto.

“Yeah. It is. Why do you carry it around in your jacket? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Huh? I just carry it in case I run into my soulmate, then I could pull it out and present it to her.”

Oh, never mind kill himself, he wanted to accidentally kill his soul mate too! If she hadn’t known better, he’d have killed her.

“I use it in my antidotes and- Well its my favourite flower.”

“Your favourite flower is poisonous?”

Sakura snorted. “Ino- my best friend- compared me to an Aconite bud when we become friends. It stuck with me I guess.”

Shisui’s face seems to fill with realisation.

“So... This flower has a special connection to you?”

“Yes, and clearly the curved shuriken is connected to you, seeing as its in your eyes.”

“Wait! Are you trying to say-?”Apparently she had to spell it out for him.

“That that weird dumbass shuriken soul mark I’ve been branded with is actually your mangekyo? Yeah.”

“Huh.”

Sakura snorted once more.

“I guess I’ve got a real reason to be motivated to find your cure now.”

#shisakuweekend082020 #Fic #shisuisaku #sakura #soulmark

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