#The rest will be translated in other posts

[wondrluv]

୨୧ in need ; af35

➪ summary: when you and your contagious happy energy weasel your way into azzi's life, she's hesitant to tell people. but after a bad day, all you want is her, and nothing's going to stop you from getting to her, not even the crowd of teammates at her place

➪ warnings: reader has a bad day, mentions of hiding relationship

➪ word count: 1.4k

➪ emma's notes: ahhhh my first azzi fic! i came up with this idea like in the middle of the night last night when i couldn't sleep so here this is. i'm so excited to write more for her, but for now, this is what i've written! i hope you guys enjoy as always :) i do have a new taglist system, so if you want to be added, feel free to check out the form at the bottom of this post!

© wondrluv ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

You were always told you had this effect on people. The kind of effect that if someone was having the worst of all days, one look at you would make it all the better. 

You got used to this, everyone saying that you had this glow about you that just made them want to smile, but you never believed it. Not until you met Azzi Fudd.

Azzi Fudd was the kind of girl that always looked like something had upset her or someone had pissed her off just moments before you looked at her. Though for you, you never thought it was because of that. From the second you met her, you knew there was another layer to Azzi that no one else knew about, hell, maybe even her closest friends and family didn’t even know about. And you were determined to figure out what it was.

So, when the opportunity arose, you sat next to her on the first day of one of your classes, grinning at her like you just won the lottery. She gave you a skeptical look, eyeing you up and down, appalled at the fact that you were so happy on a Monday at 9 in the morning. 

You just introduced yourself, your smile never wavering, even when all she did was nod and turn back to her phone, music still playing through her headphones. And for a few weeks, that was all it was. You saying hi and her giving a less than committal response before sitting in silence for the rest of the class. 

And almost two weeks of having classes with her every Monday and Wednesday, before she said something back. Four classes weren’t a lot, but maybe it was your effect, the effect you had to nuzzle your way into her heart, warming it every time you even glanced at her. 

You weren’t expecting it in the least, the small ‘hey’ she all but whispered when you gave her your beaming smile, but that only caused you to smile wider. And with each passing class, she would say more and more, and that was when your relationship with Azzi Fudd started. The sunshine girl and the black cat girlfriend.

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Six months later, the two of you had been dating for four, and she had yet to tell anyone about the two of you. Maybe it was because she was scared of admitting she found a soft spot for someone and she would get teased relentlessly for it, or it was because she was protecting you from the teasing she knew you would get once her friends saw her with you. 

You didn’t mind, not in the slightest. You were happy to keep your relationship private if that’s what she wanted. All you wanted was her, no matter the format. But now? Now it didn’t matter if the whole world was watching the two of you; you needed her. 

This had to have been the longest day you’ve ever experienced. From almost running into class late, to the missing reports you had lying on your desk that you needed for your project, to the twisting of your ankle on the walk back to your apartment, down to the coffee you spilled over yourself in the middle of the cafe. 

To be frank, you were over it, your mind was scattered, your body was worn, and all you wanted was to curl up on your girlfriend’s chest and forget about today. So with the rest of your willpower, you bundled up in a pair of sweatpants, one of Azzi’s sweatshirts, tied your hair up in a ponytail with your phone and wallet in your hands, and headed out the door. 

The walk to Azzi’s wasn’t long, but the slight chill in the air made it seem like it went on for longer than 10 minutes, coupled with the exhaustion setting heavy in your bones. You pulled your sleeves over your hands as you walked up the stairs to her place; the elevator being broken was just another layer to your day. 

Your mind was so focused on Azzi’s comfort that you barely noticed the people surrounding you as you walked into her place, kicking her shoes off and bee-lining it to where she lay spread out on the couch, collapsing on top of her, burying your head in her chest. 

Everyone froze; KK’s hand stopped inches from her mouth, holding a piece of pizza, Paige’s eyebrows quirked, water bottle in hand, Ice glanced over from where she was fiddling with the TV remote, Aubrey looked up from her phone, and Sarah’s mouth hung open just slightly before she closed it, her attempt to mask her confusion and amusement futile. 

But Azzi paid no mind to them, her arms wrapping around almost like second nature, one hand coming to play with your hair as the other rubs soothing circles across your back, slipping beneath your hoodie. She murmured something low in your ear, a soft, “I got you,” and nothing else, holding you tightly against her. 

She pressed a soft kiss to your temple, her movements never wavering as she focused all of her attention on you. Your legs tangled with hers as you tried to push yourself closer against her, causing her to let out a tiny laugh that left everyone else exchanging glances. 

You felt safe being surrounded by her, almost like your own personal blanket that you were dead set on keeping. You gripped her hoodie, clutching it in your hands as if letting go would make her disappear. This was the only thing you needed after a long day. 

No one knew what to do, watching you, someone they didn’t know, curl up with their teammate, someone they did know who wasn’t one for physical affection or showing any signs of what they were feeling besides being annoyed. It was odd.

“Uh, Azzi-”

“Shh.” Azzi cut KK off with a simple sound, holding you tighter like she was protecting you from her friends’ words. 

Despite the circumstances, Azzi’s lips turned into a soft smile, not caring that her friends were seeing her like this, she loved having you in her arms, it was her favorite thing in the world. The feel of you against her, providing warmth both physically and emotionally, the way you looked so adorable with your face smushed against her chest, the soft snores you sometimes let out if you stayed in that position for one too many minutes. She was sure there was no better feeling than this. 

It didn’t take long for you to drift off, not even the slightest bit put off by the five or six other people staring at you as you made yourself comfortable. As long as Azzi was with you, you could fall asleep anywhere. 

A few minutes after you dozed off, Paige cleared her throat, eyes flickering between your face and her friend’s, “So…”

Azzi looked up, her previous blissful expression falling off, and a hardened one took over, “Yes?”

“Who’s this?” Paige’s face was all but amused, her lips turned into a teasing smile, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“None of your business.”

“Oh, c’mon, Az. She waltzes in here like she owns the place, doesn’t even bat an eye at who’s here before practically jumping on you, and then falls asleep with your arms around her. We’re dumb, not stupid.”

She just rolled her eyes, her gaze softening as she looked back down at you, brushing your hair behind your ear, away from your face. She sighed softly before nodding, “Fine. What do you want to know?”

“When did you meet her?” “What’s her name?” “How long has this been going on?” “How’d she get you to-” 

She glared at them as you shifted, their overlapping voices too loud for you to ignore. They shut up quickly at her stare, watching as your head turned to lie on the other side before your breathing evened out once again. 

“One at a time and be quiet.”

“What’s her name?”

“Her name’s y/n.”

“When did you guys meet?”

“We met six months ago when classes started, she’s in my finance class.”

“When did you-”

“Four months ago.”

“How-”

“She has that effect on people.” Azzi’s voice murmured, peering down at you again, fingers running through your hair to further calm you down as you slept. 

No one spoke again, watching their friend’s actions with small smiles on their faces. They were never really sure they would see a soft side to Azzi Fudd, but now that they met you - if you could even call it a meeting -, they were sure that would change. 

AF35 ; WBB MASTERLIST

TAGLIST ; NAVIGATION

[storiesaplenty]

The Pitt Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though. This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: loss of limb (nothing descriptive) a bit of swearing. Child birth (nothing descriptive)

WC: 3338

Requested by no one.

©️ storiesaplenty 2025: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work. All readers are female, unless stated otherwise.

Summary: During a storm, Jack can't sleep. As he sits in his office, he looks back over the memories of your relationship.

I was sitting in my home office, listening to the police scanner, not being able to sleep.

When there is a storm happening outside, I can never sleep due to the thunder.

My mind flashes back to memories I wish to forget. Each boom of the thunder makes me jump slightly, and I start to do my exercises to calm down.

But a flash of lighting lit up the room, seemingly to light up the photos across my desk, and my eyes zoned in on the first set of photos.

The memories that seemed to haunt me on nights like this slowly faded away as I looked at the first photo her and I took together.

I couldn't help but shake my head at the photo.

It was taken during high school, and it was at a Halloween party.

I didn't want to go to the party, as my girlfriend at the time had just broken up with me.

She was angry at the fact that I was focusing on school, my final season of playing football, and well, I told her I was going to join the military once I was done school.

I knew she had our future all planned out.

We were going to get married and have three children. I was going to work for her Dad, and she was going to be a stay-at-home-mom, but that was her dream, and never mine.

So at the beginning of our senior year, she dumped me, and even though I knew it was for the best, I just knew seeing my ex with other people may hurt, but my best friend, Alan convinced me to go to what would be the party that would change my life.

Everyone was dressed up.

I was just wearing my football jersey, but put in some fake vampire teeth, and drew two red marks on my neck with fake blood.

I was walking around Alan's girlfriend's house, trying to find a washroom that was occupied, when I bumped into someone who was going to change my life.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" We both said as we bumped into one another, my hands instantly going to her shoulders to steady her as she was wearing heels.

I couldn't help myself as I looked at her costume.

She was wearing a pumpkin poncho, with a headband that looked to be a steam, wearing black tights and green heels.

"I'm okay, are you?" She looked me up and down, taking I'm my costume."Vampire Jock?"

"The name is Jack, Miss Pumpkin, and yeah, I'm okay."

"Let me get you a drink, though, to make up for bumping into you." I was about to take her up on her offer when Alan's girlfriend, Becky, came up to her and grabbed her arm, mumbling something in her ear, making her groan.

"I'll catch you around VJ." Was all she got out before Becky was dragging her away. She looked over her shoulder as I gave her a small wave.

"I'll see you around Pumpkin." I said to myself, knowing that I would find her later.

Through out the rest of the party, I tried to find her again, but she wasn't with Becky, and when I asked Becky about her, she just said that you went outside to talk to your mom on the phone, and will be back in soon.

I waited and waited until I gave up.

I told Alan I was going to leave, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Most likely making out with Becky somewhere.

I stepped out onto the front porch, and to my utter surprise, there she was, sitting in the outdoor rocking chair.

"Thought you went home." I said, making her jump at a bit as she was looking up at the clear night sky.

"Na, staying the night to help Becky after we sleep." She told me as I sat in the chair next to her.

"I haven't seen you before. You don't go to our school." She shook her head no.

"Becky is my cousin. I go to The Ellis School for girls."

Her and I went back and forth, getting to know one another, until my watched beeped, letting me know it was time for me to leave.

"I should be going." I said as I yawned.

"Oh, well, I hope to see you again Jack."

"I don't have anything to write my number down, but Becky has it."

"Well, before you leave, may I get a photo?" She pulled out a disposable camera, looking to see how many photos she had left.

"Yeah." My voice seemed to crack as she stood next to me, putting my arm around her waist to get as close as possible.

The light almost blinded me as she took photo after photo, the two of us hoping for a decent photo.

"I'll be seeing you around Pumpkin." I teasingly said, making her playfully roll her eyes.

"Hmmm, sure you will Jack."

◆

A week after the party, as I was going through the mail to sort it, there was one for me.

From an address I did not know, but I still opened it. To my suprise, there was the photo of the two of us, smiling at the camera, in our costumes.

There was another note in the envelope, and it was just her phone number.

I didn't waste any time. I called her, hoping her parents didn't pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pumpkin." She let out a small giggle, but tried to hide it by clearing her throat.

"Hello Jack."

Her and I spent what seemed like hours on the first phone call, until she had to tell me she was being called for dinner.

"Wait, before you go, I have a game this Friday. Can you come?"

"I'll try."

The line went dead, and I hung up my phone, looking at the photo, wondering where I should put it.

◆

She came to that game, sitting in the stands with Becky.

She came to every game after that.

My eyes searching for her in the crowd, and when I would see her, she would wave at me, and I her.

Becky, Alan, her and I would all go out to eat after the games.

"Becky isn't felling well. I'm going to take her home."

I was disappointed, but tried to hide it. "Just go out with out us." Alan said as he winked at me, which confused me for a moment.

Then I caught on to what he was meaning.

He knew how much I liked her. Hell, he brought it up to me.

"Just have her home by 11:30 Jack, or she won't be allowed to come to the next game." He warned me.

◆

Years later, she told me she knew her cousin was faking being sick, but that night was our first date.

We were already at ease with one another, but as I drove her home, I became nervous.

I parked in front of her house, turning off the engine, turning to look at her, and she was looking at me.

"I had a really good time tonight Jack." She told me as she leaned her body closer to mine.

"I did too." I said just as our lips touched for the first time.

It was gentle at first, as we were testing the water, until she deepened the kiss.

We made our in my car until my watched beeped, reminding the two of us that she now has two minutes until it was 11:30.

"I'll call you tomorrow." I promised her as she got out of my car. I did offer to walk her to her door, but she said she was fine to walk up by herself.

I didn't drive off until she was in her house, the door closed behind her.

◆

Ever since that night, her and I have been together. We spent every moment together that we could. Her and I went to my prom together.

Our prom photo went with me when I was in the military. It was always on my body if I could help it.

Another flash of lighting lit of the room, and I looked at the photo that was next to our first photo we took together.

It was the photo of when I was in the base hospital. Our lives forever changed. She came to see me the moment she had clearance.

I woke up confused, as I saw her sleeping in the chair next to my hospital bed.

At first I thought I was dreaming, knowing she was back home, going over her lesson plans for the Monday as she teaches history at her old school.

I groaned as I felt some pain as I moved.

"Jack." She said, startling me.

"Pumpkin, what are you doing here?" Her nickname has stuck all these years, and sometimes she calls me Vampire Jock, or VJ for short.

"I'll get the Doctor." She said as she kissed my cheek, walking out of the room, leaving me confused, until it finally dawned on me.

What happened flashed in my mind, bits and pieces. I remember the five of us talking and then a loud ringing in my ears as I felt the worst pain imaginable. I remember seeing my leg burned and barely attached to my body anymore.

I moved the hospital blanket to the side, and just as I feared, the lower part of my right leg was gone.

I couldn't stop staring at it.

Not when the nurses came or the Doctor.

She stood next to me, grabbing my hand as I barely listened to the Doctor tell me what happened.

I just looked up at her, knowing she was listening intently to what was being said.

Her hand was gripping mine as tight as she could, knowing our lives were changed forever.

I could feel her engagement ring as she gripped my hand.

I smiled to myself as I thought back to us walking along the Emerald View Trail when I was on leave.

The box felt heavy in my pocket as we finally came to look out spot.

As she was taking in the view, I got down on one knee, the engagement ring box open as I cleared my throat.

As she turned around, her hands covered her mouth as I started to tell her how much she means to me.

How I knew the first time I saw her face, that she was the one for me. How I couldn't live without her in my life as she is my world.

She is my heart.

She said yes, and as I put the ring on her finger, her and I kissed for the first time as an engaged couple.

Her voice brought me back to what was happening into my hospital room.

"When can he go home?"

"We do not know yet."

At that moment, I knew I had to push her away. So she could have a normal life.

◆

I barely talked to her as I just stared out the window. Two days of me basically ignoring her.

She told me later on she thought I was just trying to process what happened to me, and she wasn't completely wrong, but to me, I was just trying to push her away.

"Jack, love, you got to eat." She said as she noticed I barely touched my food.

"Why are you here?" I finally asked, without looking at her.

"Why am I here? Because I love you Jack." She tried to grab my hand, but I pulled my hand away. I knew she was hurt.

"You need to leave." I told her.

"I'm not going anywhere Jack. I want to be here. I need to make sure you are okay."

For some reason, that made me angry.

I threw my food tray across the room, hitting the door, making her gasp.

"How the fuck am I okay? I lost my leg. I am barely a man anymore."

"Jack, baby," I didn't wait for her to finish. I screamed at her to get out.

Seeing tears streaming down her face made my heart clench, but I knew this was for the best.

I watched her leave, knowing this was for the best.

◆

She didn't come back for three days, and I hated every single second of it.

But to my utter surprise, when I was being wheeled down the hall, back to my room, she was standing there, talking with the Doctor.

I looked down at my hands that were in my lap, fighting an inner battle with myself.

I was happy she was there, but I didn't want her to be there. Even then I knew I was lying to myself.

I didn't get back into the bed, as I was some what happy to be out of it, even if it was only for a short while.

I was looking out the window as the nurse left and I heard another set of footsteps enter the room, and closing the door gently behind them.

"I thought I told you to get out." I told her as she sat down on my bed.

"Jack, I know why you did that." I could see her reflection in the window, and she was looking at me.

"Of course you do, because you know everything." I muttered, trying to get her to leave again.

"Jack, I'm not going to leave you." She softly whispered as she stood up to stand next to me.

She placed her hand on my shoulder, as I tried to push her hand away, but she just kept holding on.

"You need to find someone who is whole. Who can take care of you." I finally said to her as I looked up at her.

I knew how I must have looked.

Like a broken man, who knew he should be alone and not drag her down with him.

But she gently cupped my face in her hand, and I couldn't help but close my eyes at the contact.

I didn't realize she leaned down so we were eye level until I felt her breath on my face.

"I am not going anywhere my love. You may not think you are whole, but you are. You are still my Jack, the same man who I fell in love with the moment I bumped into you. I love you VJ, forever and always."

I didn't say anything as I captured her lips with mine, finally kissing her.

And at that very moment, I just knew we were going to be okay.

That I was going to be okay.

We got married while I was still recovering.

Just her and I and the priest.

It was intimate, and just what her and I wanted, and we didn't care what our families and friends would say, as we knew this moment was for us and for us alone.

The priest took the photo of us, her in my lap, as the sun was setting behind us.

Even through one our darkest times as a couple, we pulled through it together. Not knowing what our future looked like, but we would be together.

I saw the hallway light turn on just as another clap of thunder seemed to hit. This time louder.

"Jack?" Came her sleepy voice as she slowly opened my office door.

"You should be asleep love." I said to her as I wheeled out from behind my desk.

When I am home, I do not wear my prosthetic leg,

"You should be sleeping as well." She said right back at me, as she sat in my lap, as I wrapped my arms around her waist, making sure to be as gentle as possible.

"Bad dream?" She asked me as she played with the curls at the nape of my neck.

"Same one." She knew which one I mean. The day where I lost the lower part of my leg, and friends. Only two of us survived that day.

"Hmm, so what were you thinking about while you were in here?"

"Just memories of us with each photo." I said.

"I think the most recent one is my favourite." She said as she grabbed the newly framed photo off my desk.

It was us at the hospital I work at, the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Hospital.

It was a normal start to my shift when Dana came up running up to me.

"Your wife is here. She is being taken up to labour and delivery."

I didn't even say anything as I rushed past her, Robby calling out to me that he will stay.

As I got to level 8, the nurses at the front desk just told me which room she was in.

"Jack." She cried out as she breathed through the contractions.

"I'm here baby, I'm here." I said as I grabbed her hand and kissed her.

"We still have a bit to go, but I will back in to check on her soon Jack." The Doctor, Kylie, said to us.

"I'll call if anything changes."

Then it was just us two. Nurses coming in and out to check on her as she slept on and off, but I couldn't sleep.

I just paid close attention to the monitors.

But the moment I was actually dosing off to sleep, she woke up, gasping.

"Get her, Jack. The baby is coming." My wife cried out.

I lifted the covers, and I could see the head. Swearing, I walked as fast as I could to the door, call out that I could see the head.

It was a blur as our birthing team came running down the hall towards us.

I got behind her, letting her rest against me as she pushed our child out of her tired, spent body.

The moment we heard him cry, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"It's a boy."

"He is finally here, Jack." She said to me, as I moved her damp hair, from her sweaty, beautiful face.

"And you did perfect my love."

Our son was taken to me looked over and did the normal tests as my wife was taken care of.

I wasn't to far from her just in case she needed me.

I was sitting behind her once more, brushing her hair and putting it in a messy bun, when to my utter surprise, Robby and Dana came in.

Dana was pushing our son in.

I was going to get up to grab him, but Dana gave me a look, which I knew what it meant, so I didn't move.

Dana gently lifted our son up and placed him in his mother's arms.

"He is just perfect." I said as I looked at him. Her thumb was rubbing his cheek.

"What is the little guys name?" Robby asked.

"Owen Jack Abbot." I proudly said.

"A good name. Now, how about family's first photo?" Robby suggested. I handed him my phone and he took many photos, none that really turned out well, except for one.

You could see her and I smiling at our Owen. Tired but happy.

I had that photo framed and put in my office and in our bedroom before she even came home with our son.

"Yes, I have to agree. That one is my favourite as well." I said just as I was about to kiss her, but then, our son started to cry.

I looked at the clock and noticed it was time for his night-time feeding.

"I'll go feed him. I won't be long." She said as she stood up.

I followed behind her, turning off the hallway light as I opened his bedroom door.

She was sitting in the comfiest chair I could find, feeding Owen.

As I watched the two most important people in my life, I couldn't help but feel content.

Even with the storm still happening outside.

[soundwave-starlight]

someone on here pointed out how Mel only calls Ken "Dad" in public and how she probably thinks of him being her father as a fabrication to disguise herself. I just wanted to add to that how much she clearly cares for and wants him to actually be her father.

I mean he is, but if the pilot told us anything about Ken and Mel it's that they are horrible at communicating with each other. Both Ken and Mel care so much about each other, but they can't show it to each other. Ken probably thinks he's showing it, but he fronts more concern about her being discovered as human rather than concern for HER. And his concern about her wellbeing translates as him trying to distance her from his dangerous life of crime, which while distancing her from danger, also separates her from the only family she knows. "You're not one of us! and you never will be. :)" Well meaning but crushing to receive.

Then there's Mel, who sees the separation Ken has created, and comes to the conclusion that the father daughter relationship between them is a front. But she wants to truly be apart of this family and thinks she can't without being apart of the crime. Granted I'm sure she also loves the crime, but the reason behind her insistence to join the smiling dead is from a desire to belong with her family and to truly be apart of it. Mel never gets to see the side of Ken that is full of love and genuine concern over her safety. "You're uh... proud of me, right?" she lets the mask slip for a moment there, then realizes it's too desperate and backpaddles into "with everything going according to plan and all?" she feels she has to hide her desire for his affection behind the quality of her work.

Then there's the end where Ken is giving his speech to the rest of the gaslight district, and by the gods wrath I was yelling at the screen. Because Ken doesn't mean anything he's saying, he's putting on an act. But Mel doesn't know that, doesn't help that he looks DIRECTLY AT HER when talking about the human. Like c'mon Ken you've got to give her a little bit of comfort right now you are talking about a human the prophesized human ie HER.

Ken really is trying though, and that's why I love him so much. He really needs to talk to his daughter, and she needs to talk to him. I am predicting a climactic crashout from Mel at Ken where she finally questions why Ken is keeping her around. I would imagine that is something Mel questions a lot, one thing in the intro sequence is "where do I come from" and while she has the literal answer of 'from an angel egg' she probably has no clue why Ken adopted her and why he is so adamant about keeping her secret. Then Ken can come clean about his motivations and his care for her.

This post was not supposed to be this long, I just adore their relationship. I might need to write fanfic about it.

[worldof3ntertainment]

A little while ago, someone (apologies, I could not find the post and don't remember who) posted a picture of the language of fans and talked about how Annabel held her fan behind her head in Ep 43 to mean "don't forget me." I really loved the post and have started working on a lil fanfic inspired by it, but found some more fan speak and thought I'd put it on here for anyone who's curious. Pictures and translations below the cut.

Letting it rest on right cheek - Yes.

Carrying in the right hand - You are too willing.

Carrying in the right hand in front of face - Follow me. / Open wide - Wait for me.

I'd like to point out here that Lenore did both.

After Lenore refuses to write the song. Open and shut - You are cruel.

Of course, the one pointed out by the other poster. Placed behind head - Don't forget me. Also! Fanning quickly - I am engaged.

Presented shut - Do you love me?

At first I wondered if the authors even did "fan language" on purpose, but there's no way they didn't know. It fits the unfolding of the story so well. Such a brilliant and subtle detail that makes me appreciate their work that much more. And bonus one, from a different list! (I'll put the lists at the end.)

Shut - You have changed.

Lists:

[blufblucake]

⋆˙⟡ Wildest Dreams | Chapter One

Paring: Starscream x GN!Human!Reader.

Trope: Fated mates.

Warnings: This story will eventually contain sexual scenes, so MDNI. Potential sensitive topics addressed in the story will include a trigger warning before the chapter.

Summary: You have a quiet, ordinary life; a normal job, a few good friends, and a wonderful fiancé you're set to marry in just a few weeks. However, the normalcy of your life begins to unravel when you start having strange and inexplicable dreams about a certain red-eyed Seeker. From that moment on, everything you once felt sure about no longer means anything at all.

Word count: 2,8k

❝He's so tall and handsome as hell He's so bad, but he does it so well And when we've had our very last kiss My last request is❞

Author's Notes: Hi to everyone who might’ve stopped by to read my story. I would like to start by saying that this is the first fanfic I’ve written in five years, and english is not my first language, so I’m a little nervous, haha. The fanfic was originally written in my native language and later translated into english, so if you find any mistakes, please let me know, it would help me a lot. Enjoy the reading! :)

⋆˙⟡ Chapter One

After a long day at work, all you wanted was to get home quickly, take a relaxing shower, and sleep for the next twelve hours. As much as you loved your coworkers, you just weren’t in the mood to go out for drinks. The wedding preparations had been taking up all your free time, it had been weeks since you last stopped to read a good book or simply be alone, in silence, in the comfort of your own home.

Weaving your way through the crowd, you hurried down the subway stairs. If you managed to get there a bit earlier, maybe you could find an empty seat — which would be a miracle, considering it was rush hour. You leaned against one of the pillars, pulling your backpack around to the front of your body. People were flooding the station, some busy on their phones dealing with their own problems, others looking lost as they tried to follow the maps posted on the walls. Near a snack vending machine, a gray-haired man in a long black coat and a pair of red gloves played a drum skillfully, hoping to earn a few coins. Not far from him, a woman dressed in worn-out clothes and a funny hat danced enthusiastically, not caring who might be watching. A tired smile tugged at your lips at the sight. Maybe, if you were a little more carefree and joined her in dancing, things would feel just a little bit easier.

As you notice the subway approaching, you quickly straighten yourself and walk toward the platform. As soon as the train stops and the doors open in front of you, you step inside and immediately look for a place to sit. You spot an empty seat not too far away and hurry to claim it before someone else does. Once seated, you can finally relax — it would be a journey of just over thirty minutes, so maybe you could take a quick nap.

Throwing your head back with a loud sigh, you close your eyes and massage your temples with your hands. Who were you trying to fool? Every time you closed your eyes and surrendered to sleep, that same pair of red eyes invaded your dreams. Unusual eyes, not human. But for some reason, they were strangely attractive. You had lost count of how long you had been dreaming of that being. You couldn’t focus on their face; it was as if everything was covered by a thick mist, and the only thing lighting the way was their crimson eyes. When you woke up, you didn’t remember much, only carrying that strange feeling with you for the rest of the day.

As you open your eyes, your gaze quickly falls on the engagement ring on your finger. The medium-sized, oval-shaped diamond matched well with the golden metal, simple but beautiful. You had been with your fiancé for three years; he was caring, gentle, loving, and thoughtful, making you feel loved and desired. He was obviously the right and safest choice. You had never doubted that… Until now. Since the dreams began, a sense of unease had consumed your heart day by day. It felt like this wasn’t the right thing to do, like your fiancé wasn’t the right person. And guilt was beginning to eat away at you more and more as the wedding date approached.

The invitations had already been sent, the vendors had been paid and wouldn’t refund at the last minute, your family members were starting to travel to your state, all excited about the big day, ready to celebrate with you. Even so, a persistent voice screamed in your mind, telling you to give it all up. You didn’t have a plausible reason for it; you just felt that this was, somehow, wrong. The soft voice of the woman on the subway announcing your station echoed through the train's speakers, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You quickly stand up and head to the doors. As they open, you step out of the train and walk through the station toward the exit. Before you can take the first step on the stairs, your gaze is drawn to a small purple card lying on the ground. Curious, you bend down and pick it up, carefully inspecting it. Fortune teller, divination witch, learn about your future. The words on the card make you smirk slightly. You couldn’t say you fully believed in that sort of thing, but you weren’t entirely skeptical either. Deciding it might come in handy, you tuck the card into the back pocket of your jeans.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

You step out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body while drying your hair with another one, walking toward your bed. As you sit on the soft mattress, you notice your phone vibrating, indicating that a message has arrived. A smile forms on your lips when you see it's a message from your fiancé.

‘Good night, my love. How was work??’

‘The same as always, honey.’

‘Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange lately...’

‘I’m fine, just tired. The wedding preparations and work are draining my energy.’

‘I get it, babe, but it’ll all be over soon. I can’t wait to finally become your husband. I’m going to bed now, good night, babe. I love you!’

‘Good night, me too...’

Your hands fall onto your lap, guilt twisting your stomach. You couldn’t even bring yourself to say you loved him back. It wasn’t right, and it certainly wasn’t fair. You felt like crying. Why was this happening? Why, suddenly, did you feel deep down that he wasn’t the one?

Before you could dwell on it any longer, you stand up and put on your pajamas, determined to try and sleep quickly, praying that, at least for one night, you wouldn’t dream of those haunting red eyes.

Unfortunately, for your bad luck, as soon as your head hits the pillow and you drift into sleep, you find yourself surrounded by thick mist. Your bare feet touch the grass, instinctively leading you in one direction. You didn’t know where you were going, but your heart screamed it was the right way.

The fog didn’t let you see a step ahead, so when your body suddenly collided with something solid, you prepared for a fall. But the fall never came, abnormally large, firm hands caught your waist.

Slowly, your gaze traveled up the body of that being. For some reason, you couldn’t focus on his features — everything seemed blurry — but you were sure of one thing: he wasn’t human. He was tall, much taller than anyone you’d ever met, and when your eyes finally locked with his, a wave of euphoria consumed your body. Those same red eyes, intense, glowing.

This time, you managed to focus a little more, noticing his features. He was handsome, different from anything you’d ever seen, yet still handsome. His harsh expression softened as he studied your face, and before you could do anything, you felt him pull your body closer to his. And you didn’t stop him, didn’t protest, didn’t even feel guilty. Because it felt right. He was right.

When you wake up the next morning, an emptiness grows in your chest. For the first time since the dreams began, you managed to notice more than just his eyes. Everything felt so real, it was as if you could still feel his strong arms around you.

Then your rational side takes over. This was wrong. You had a fiancé, an incredible one who loved you unconditionally and whom you would marry in just a few weeks. You needed to forget about this and focus on reality because these dreams were just that, dreams. Dreams about someone who wasn’t even human. Your brain must be really fucked up to create something so surreal, and your fiancé was the right one. Soon this would end, and you would enjoy your honeymoon on a beautiful tropical beach far away from here.

You get out of bed and walk around your room, tidying up the mess from the night before. You had come home so tired that you had simply tossed your clothes somewhere. As you pick up your jeans to fold them, the purple fortune teller’s card falls out of the pocket where it was kept. When you pick it up, you examine it once again. A witch, huh? It wouldn’t hurt to pay them a visit, maybe the cards could rub in your face the wonderful future you were supposed to have with your fiancé.

Determined, you finish tidying your room and start getting ready. Once ready, you head downstairs to the kitchen. You didn’t have dinner last night, and your stomach was growling, begging for something. When you open the fridge, you see it’s practically empty, you needed to do some groceries. You’d stop by the market after visiting the fortune teller. It was a nice day outside, and it would be the first weekend you weren’t busy with wedding stuff.

After breakfast, you pack a bag with a few essentials and leave the house, heading to a bus stop. Checking the address on the card, you notice it’s not far from your neighborhood. Coincidentally, the first bus that arrives goes that way, so you get on.

The ride is peaceful, nothing but a few noisy teenagers in the back of the bus and a chatty old lady starting a conversation with you about how beautiful the day is. When your stop arrives, you get off the bus and start walking toward the address. After a few minutes, you reach a house. It’s just an ordinary house, maybe even a bit boring, not at all what you would imagine for a witch’s home.

You walk up to the front door and knock a few times, but there’s no answer. You even wonder if you got the right address, double-checking the card. A tired meow catches your attention, and you look down to see a black cat stretching on the ground. His green eyes are so intense they look like two emeralds, and his fur is so shiny it could spark envy. Lazily, he walks over to you, brushing against your legs, purring as he rubs his head.

You crouch down a bit and scratch his ears, giggling when he pulls your hand to his head with one of his paws, not letting you stop petting him. “Hey, little guy, you clearly have an owner. If you didn’t, I’d take you with me...”

Suddenly, the cat gets up and walks toward the house. For some reason, the door is open, but you didn’t hear anyone unlocking it. As the cat crosses the threshold, he stops and looks back at you, meowing incessantly, almost like inviting you in.

“If you insist...”

You walk up to the door and knock again, out of politeness. “Excuse me, the door is open... I’d like a card reading...” before you can say anything else, a soft voice calls out from a room, “Come in, please. I’ve been expecting you.”

It all seemed strange, but for some reason, it didn’t scare you. You step inside and close the door behind you. Now it did look like a witch’s house. The maximalist decor, filled with statuettes of deities, crystals of all sizes, plants everywhere, and the strong scent of incense was exactly what you expected. You walk into a room, pushing aside a curtain of lilac beads. In front of you, the fortune teller is sitting at a round table, a cheerful smile on their face.

“I knew you would come. I had a vision of you.” they says excitedly while shuffling tarot cards. “What do you mean you knew I’d come?”. They laughs and gestures to the chair in front of them for you to sit. Hesitantly, you pull the chair and sit down, resting your bag on your lap. “Nothing happens by chance, my dear. I had a vision of you coming here. Now tell me, what troubles this poor little heart of yours?”

Contrary to all common sense, you feel comfortable with the witch. You imagined they said this sort of thing to everyone who came here, yet strangely, you felt welcomed. “I’d like to know about my love life.”

A faint smile appears on the fortune teller’s lips as they continues shuffling the cards. “My dear, I need you to be a bit more specific. The answers depend on your questions. The more precise, the more detailed the answers...”

A lump forms in your throat, and your stomach twists at the thought, but you need to ask this question. “My fiancé... Is he the right one? Should this wedding happen?” they stops shuffling, focuses for a moment, then begins laying out some cards. When six cards are arranged face down on the table, they places the rest aside and starts revealing them one by one. You don’t know what any of them mean, but you watch their expressions anxiously.

They looks at you and smiles mysteriously. “What a situation you’ve gotten yourself into, my dear...” you shoot them a confused look, silently begging for some answers. "Your fiancé is a wonderful person, but he’s not meant for you. You have a fated mate. A soulmate. Whether you want it or not, you won’t end up with your fiancé. I can see you've been dreaming about this mate of yours, and I can assure you, you've also been invading his dreams." They lets out a laugh. "My dear, I see a lot of trouble in your future. I advise you to prepare yourself. This wedding won’t happen, he won’t allow it!"

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

As you wandered aimlessly through the forest, your thoughts drifted back to what the fortune teller had said. After that, you simply got up from the chair and demanded that they draw the cards again, but they just smiled and said the cards never lied. At least didn’t charge you for that nonsense. How could you be so foolish to believe any of it made sense? A crazy person living alone, telling lies to idiots who came to them.

That session had ruined your day. As you furiously walked through the forest floor, you kept muttering how wrong that lunatic was and how your fiancé was the right man for you. You had come to the forest hoping that being close to nature would help you calm down, but, as if things couldn’t get worse, nature seemed determined to eat you alive. You were already covered in mosquito bites and had lost count of how many times you'd tripped over branches and rocks.

A loud noise pulls you out of your miserable state, and when you look up at the sky, you see something falling fast, leaving behind a trail of smoke. A helicopter, maybe? Thinking someone might be hurt, you start running. Judging by the sound, the crash couldn’t have been far.

It doesn’t take long before you find a trail of upturned earth and fallen trees. Not far ahead, a metallic structure lies on the ground. It didn’t look like a helicopter, but someone could still need help. As you carefully walk toward the object, you start to notice its colors more clearly, and a tingling sensation spreads from your head to your toes. As if with a will of their own, your legs carry you closer and closer to the thing.

However, when the thing starts to slowly rise, growing massive and standing on two legs, you freeze in place. It was definitely not a helicopter. The metal being straightens itself, and your breathing becomes erratic as your eyes scan its body. A giant metal robot, covered in scratches, with what looked like a broken wing hanging awkwardly. When your gaze rests on its face and you see those crimson eyes, you stop breathing. It was him.

The being that haunted your dreams and disturbed your mind. Your mouth falls open in utter shock, and you’re paralyzed. Was he real, or had you finally succumbed to the mosquito bites and were now hallucinating, passed out somewhere on the forest floor? But when you realize those eyes are staring back at you, all the air trapped in your lungs escapes in a high-pitched scream. Freed from your shock, you turn and start running the way you came.

Heavy footsteps reverberate through the ground, and your heart beats so fast it feels like it might explode. The sensations were far too real to be just a figment of your messed-up mind. Your escape is cut short when an explosion nearby throws you violently against a tree. In that instant, the air is knocked out of you, and all you can hear is an irritating ringing and muffled sounds. Your head throbs like hell, and your vision is blurry. Was this really the end? Left alone in the middle of a forest? Visiting that fortune teller had definitely not been a good idea.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the reading. I may not be the best writer, but ever since I joined the fandom, this urge to write and share my ideas has come back, and it had been a long time since I felt this way. In my native language, we don’t have a gender-neutral pronoun, but I really wanted to keep some characters’ gender ambiguous so that as many people as possible can feel included. I hope I didn’t make things too confusing when translating. :)

[mechazushi]

Someone did an English translation for the video and I just wanna say something rq....

KIKORU THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A MESS SHE MAKES WHEN KILLING KAIJUS HAS MY WHOLE HEART! 💖!💖!💖!💖!💖!

Kafka has DEFINITELY complained about it before and I know for a FACT that Kikoru initially waved it off as "old man complaints" but soon gave it some actual thought and you can't tell me she doesn't appreciate the Monster Sweepers just a little more now.

[fluffypotatey]

To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?

Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.

What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?

the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail

but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it

and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)

"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no

or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻‍♀️

or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?

but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on

because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago

Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him

that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)

but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).

"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.

so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her

which, did not happen :)

and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))

2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl

man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.

anyway

what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)

and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"

but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked

that's the difference

[turtleations]

KUMA: Never Ending Bond, Chapter 4 Part 4 - 6 (Translation)

Preface & Prologue Chapter 1 Part 1 & 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 Chapter 2 Part 1 & 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 3 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & 4, Part 5, Part 6 & 7 Chapter 4 Part 1 & 2, Part 3

The two treasure-like songs we created together

The songwriting with Shishô that made me wonder, “What have I been doing until now?”

Having graduated from being a staff member of X and being active with my own band, talking to Shishô about music made me genuinely wonder, “Could I have put this much thought into creating something this deep?”

When I thought that… I keep saying it, but the realization was there: “What have I been doing until now?” It made me hate myself.

When we were listening once again to the phrase played on acoustic guitar as recorded on tape, Shishô said, “KUMA, this is what I mean. If you just break this melody into cords, I don’t think there would be any spread to it, because the melody won’t be open.”

While he said so, he made sure several times… Over and over, he used different cord for the same sound, and recorded it all over again.

In the things Shishô said, the things he did, it was as if he were showing all his cards.

I used to think I had been thinking carefully about what I was doing until then, but when I was shown that… I felt like there had been no originality, not even in theory, when I was composing a song.

The two songs that we were composing that way were “JET SPARK” and “STARDUST STORY”.

Looking back, I, who had been kidnapped to Lake Yamanaka as if it were a joke, did not understand Shishô’s intentions, since we did not really talk about it in the aftermath, but… I think Shishô must have figured it all out before taking me away.

I think it was probably to give me as much of those two songs as possible at that point.

A necessity that seems random. When I think back to that exchange, I can’t help but wonder what was up with Shishô’s characteristic “kindness laced with embarrassment”.

At first, we started with “JET SPARK”, but that song was a hotpot of melodies I had created and the cords Shishô provided for it.

The interlude, too, he made feel natural as he created it on the acoustic guitar… and even there, Shishô’s typical attention to detail showed up, and he put in magnificent cords.

In hide’s style, he utilized my strongest points, and added an original taste… That’s how seriously he took the creation of my songs.

“STARDUST STORY” is a song that was created by Shishô humming the cords over and over again. To the extent that I initially wondered if this wasn’t really Shishô’s song.

In the end, nothing got finished at Lake Yamanaka, and later I took it from there and kept thinking of extensions and compositions, and after I properly worked on that melody for half a year… This is the first time I’m letting Shishô listen to it in full.

Lake Yamanaka – The Aftermath

I went to Laka Yamanaka in November of ‘97.

It happened just one month before X’s final concert, when Shishô was beginning to prepare new solo songs.

I had been taken there without knowing why at the time, but at some point, there was something like a break.

Apparently, the people from the record company had prepared a day off at an onsen for hide-san, who had been working on his songs with a pretty full schedule.

When I heard all the staff members suggest that “we should all enjoy a reward for our hard work for a bit”, I thought, “No way!”

Having dropped everything when I went to Lake Yamanaka, I had no time to relax… and this was postponing the day of my return to Tokyo even further.

So I said to hide-san, “Please got to the onsen with everyone else. I’ll return to Tokyo for a bit and then come back here,” and then took my leave from Lake Yamanaka.

In the end, everyone was at the onsen for about 2 to 3 days, However, from what I heard, Shishô, probably in excited drunkenness, jumped from a car and broke his foot…

With X’s last live only a month away, the subsequent work at Lake Yamanaka was canceled in the end, and so Shishô and the others returned from the onsen directly to Toyko.

After that, I joined Shishô in the city, where he continued to work without pause, but… the rehearsals for X were starting, and things got very hectic in this time.

As I mentioned before, I had been separated from X for many years at that point, but when Shishô asked me to help out at the end, from then on until the turn of the year, we were together almost every day, just like we had been in the past.

Also… on the 1st of February 1998, the year he announced the activities of “hide with Spread Beaver”, Shishô would go to the US.

“Kuma, you have to come to Los Angeles with me.”

“Come along.”

“Please come.”

Those invitations came frequently. In the end, because I wanted to get the two songs we made at Lake Yamanaka into a proper shape before I let him listen to them, I told Shishô, “I’ll make it there as soon as I finished the pre-production in Japan,” and planned to get to Los Angeles later. On the day of his departure, I did some shopping for him and then went to hide-san’s house. We went to Narita Airport together, and at the departure gate I saw him off with a “See you soon, I’ll be in L.A. in no time!!” and waved after hide-san until he disappeared from sight. After that, at its worst, I would get calls from hide-san in L.A. every thirty minutes.

I was aware that Shishô was struggling with a few things, but since I really wanted to finish those two songs he had worked on for me at Lake Yamanaka, so I could take them along… I thought that I would make it to L.A. no later than the end of February.

But in the end, I didn’t go at all.

The reason is that when I returned to Kumamoto for a day to renew my expired passport, the car I was in the passenger seat of was in an accident, and I was rushed to the hospital and admitted there…

That happened on the 25th of February. I had planned to leave on the 26th, and already had my plane ticket, too.

I had promised Shishô that I would come and thought that I had to get to the US no matter what, so even with an immobile leg, I managed to sneak out of the hospital.

There was an uproar at the hospital because of this.

In the end, Shishô’s mother contacted me, and told me, “KUMA-chan, what are you doing? Hideto is worried, saying that no matter what you are up to, you need to get well first! So please just go straight back to the hospital.” These words send me straight back to the hospital on crutches.

After that, Shishô called me at the hospital as well…

I remember us talking about a lot of things.

In the end, Shishô returned to Japan without me ever making it to Los Angeles.

Parting with hide – the reality

To me, 1998 would become a year I would never forget. X separated and Shishô started his solo project, and then… we parted ways.

I couldn’t move, and my trip to the US that I had been supposed to undertake with Shishô was canceled…

A few months after that…

Since that day eleven years ago, my life had changed drastically.

Even when I think about it now, my memories of the time after the turn of the year are somewhat muddled.

To be honest, there is a version of me who still really, really hasn’t been able to figure out his feelings.

Shishô himself seemed to often touch on subjects like “life and death” in his lyrics, as he was a person who always carried these themes in his awareness…

For example, lines like “When your body is dead and turned to ashes, someone is going to evaluate you…”

Thinking of it this way, a part of me was trying to come to terms with Shishô’s departure, while another part of me couldn’t accept it… Now I think I can never find the answer while I am still in this world…

In May ‘98, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not understanding what the hell was going on, or even who I was. My reason for being.

At that time, I think I caused the important people around me, including my parents, a great deal of worry.

All those around me did their best to make me feel better.

From then on, I had no choice but to live my life convincing myself that I needed to be reborn, little by little, and that like that I would surely make it through this.

No matter how many years go by, even now, eleven years later, those feelings are still the same.

“The repeating seasons keep leaving me behind. I have to get going…”

[archersgoon]

being trans in charyn must be a fucking nightmare. imagine arjuro doing your bottom surgery. collegiati assisting. good god. like im sure the man's a good surgeon but his bedside manner...

[mc-critical]

Hatice and Ibrahim have never been more divided from each other up to that point than in E43-E44. While Hatice always sensed when Ibrahim was actually in danger or she's lost him in any way (i.e. E35 when she felt something in Edirne while Ibrahim was with Nigar), nothing came up when he was shot; he didn't even tell her what happened to him until she found out herself; they were seperated while he was recovering; the wait for Ibrahim to come back felt like an eternity to Hatice and she went through several breakdowns at once (and his carriage was right in front of her but she couldn't see him, her only thought until the very end was that he was dead, isn't that what her dream with the "crying" statues meant?); when he came back she wasn't allowed to spend at least some time alone with him as SS wanted to talk to him; even their sleep was interrupted. The only thing that Ibrahim asked Hatice to do was to play him his mother's song on the violin (I like to think that Hatice started learning the violin in order to become closer to him, to who he is, to his past again after what they went through with little Mehmet).... but he no longer associates even that with Hatice anymore.

[reds-skull]

Revenant Side stories

Story VIII: Lumity | Endless Tales

[Konchar] [Graves] [Gaz] [Price] [Novikov] [Farah] [Roba] [AO3]

Aka the last one... it's a little different from the rest and much shorter, but I really enjoyed writing from a Reaper's point of view...

“TELL ME OF THE PAST.”

“... What do you want to know?”

“TELL ME OF THE VOID.”

“There was no void, until you. And there will be no void, after you. Your domain was in the transient, not the permanent, ˈæbsᵊns. We did not know that, until us.”

“... TELL ME OF DESTRUCTION.”

“I was, before most. And I will be, when most will not. I am a watcher, I am a violent end, I am kriˈeɪʃᵊn.”

“TELL ME OF FATE. THE ETERNAL ONE.”

“Nothing is eternal, ˈæbsᵊns. I watched feɪt weave itself in the places of nothing, and we will watch it unravel, in due time.”

“AND YET, ITS RULE IS ABSOLUTE.”

“Nothing is absolute. Not even nothingness itself. You should know that… we are a testament to it…”

“... TELL ME OF THE HUMANS.”

“They’re blind… They’re blind, but one cannot blame the eyeless for not seeing.”

“AND WHAT OF THE REVENANTS?”

“The revenants… such volatile ones. Weak, and yet we keep them. As our little pawns… as a compromise, for us greater beings.”

“WHAT OF OUR REVENANTS?”

“Our… we both know they are no revenants, ˈæbsᵊns. No… blind pawns they are not.”

“ARE THEY TOO A TRANSITORY MATTER, kriˈeɪʃᵊn?”

“I do not know… as I did not know what will become of us…”

“AND FATE, THE ETERNAL ONE, DOES IT KNOW?”

“... No… it does not. A path was paved, but it was not feɪt’s path… this is not feɪt’s path…”

“... I SENSE NO HESITATION FROM YOU.”

“We feel no hesitation, ˈæbsᵊns… Change is no stranger to l̪ɵmit̪e.”

“IS IT FOREIGN TO FATE? DOES IT FEAR?”

“... Yes. It fears like a raw thing… unpolished.”

“IS IT A DANGER TO US?”

“Such thing is a danger to us all… and we are part of the whole, ˈæbsᵊns…”

“... WILL YOU REMAIN WITH ME, kriˈeɪʃᵊn?”

“... I do not know… I will remain, as long as you do.”

“THEN I HAVE NO HESITATION.”

“... We shall warn them… our catalysts of change… our once-revenants…”

“WILL THEY BE ABLE TO BEAR SUCH BURDEN?”

“They bore l̪ɵmit̪e. They will bear this.”

“THEY MUST.”

[wetbloodworm]

noticing a pattern in my writing/OCs of 'monster that preys on people pretending to be human/human-adjacent'. i mean it's not the first time i've noticed but i've been thinking about three of them recently so like. a pattern.

[thirsty-4-ghouls]

Stuff taking up space on my phone when trying to name my khajiit

Blorbo from my mind:

Just my cat 🐈‍⬛

[the-one-that-weeps]

That's so real tho I get you if I don't make fandom content for too long I also feel bad and I'm not as good at analyses that often so I do art. I do enjoy it too but longer breaks make me feel outhhjh. Which is why I was v nicely surprised yall are super supportive even if I disappeared for half a month or so and I'm sure it'd be the same for you if you didn't post smth all the time. But! I know it's hard so do whatever makes you feel comfortable and good abt yourself <3

Yes, I know. Still, one can't help but feel a little guilty over having nothing to bring to the table.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

shake your hand in character ft. flashback joe iconis, cyril von miserthorpe, krampus, the fancy tree, mister macabee, quince, little evalina, debra neezer jolie, flashback joe jr., flashback mama, poinsettia, hot candy, clouds, santa, aunt lorette, rufus?

[grosstown]

OLD art of my dragon quest characters! i started it in 2022 and didnt play much at all in 2023 necause the vocations stressed me out too much but i picked it up again this december and havent stopped playing since!!