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#The question is do I tag all of them. LOL
ryuichirou · 12 hours
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Heya Ryu~! I am wondering if you have any body tutorials and how you draw them.
You also make them so delicious and I was wondering how you draw the body for sketching ?
Sorry if you already answered this before ;-;
Anon! Sorry for the long wait.
I am very happy you like how I draw bodies! I don’t really consider myself a master of anatomy, and I know I still do a lot of mistakes, but I certainly have a lot of fun when drawing and rendering bodies, so it’s great that it translates to the end result hehe.
I did write a post about how I studied anatomy years ago, it can still be found somewhere on my #about drawing tag, but I didn’t want to just throw this super old post at you – I think my skill and understanding grew a little bit since that time, even though the main principles that I use are the same.
Long story short, I ended up recording a video (with no audio btw)… 🤦
youtube
I tried to explain my thinking process + give some advice about what I think is the most important to focus on while drawing. I am not sure if it’s helpful or if it’s even what you wanted to know, but I hope it’ll at least be a little bit interesting to watch lol
In terms of tools and resources to study anatomy, I won’t say anything new: study your friends, draw quick sketches of random people from real life, movies or pictures. But also, when you see an image (a drawing or a photo) that you really like, try analysing why it looks good, what exactly it is that you liked about it. It really is all about just noticing small details, but also constantly working on bettering the overall body shape…
If you have any questions, please let me know!
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imagineitdearies · 9 hours
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Hey I loved loved loved your fanfiction as I’m sure everyone here did but now I, going through withdrawals I can’t find anything similar or as good as yours. So I’m curious what your favourite bg3 fanfiction are?
Hey there!! Awww, thank you ☺️ I sort of got super focused on writing PS for a while there, so I can't say I know of all The GreatsTM in this fandom. I will share what I have enjoyed/am currently reading though (almost all of it involving Astarion), but anyone else should feel free to add your favs in the comments!!
As always, please check tags and read at your own discretion!
Finished ones I've enjoyed:
Seducere by Tlon ~ Astarion/nb!Tav ~ Astarion doesn’t need a reflection to know himself – two hundred years of servitude has shown him exactly what he’s good for. Odd that his new partner seems to disagree.
Nothing is safe by foxflowering ~ Wyll/Astarion ~ "Wyll's the sort of prince-type I would have once dreamed of marrying. When I was about thirteen."
Carving through the dark by skitter ~ Astarion/f!Tav ~ Wren and Astarion descend into the Underdark in search of a new purpose, and learn a few things along the way. Namely, that healing isn't linear and sometimes love takes the long way round.
Astarion Origin Party Nonsense by starkraving ~ Astarion/Karlach; Astarion/Cazador, sort of Astarion/Wyll? ~ A collection of things that ostensibly happen in the same little mental universe. Loosely based on the events of an Origin Astarion run and the various questions it inspired. (All but one in the series is finished so I'm counting it, lol!)
All Our Missing Parts by Viraaja ~ Astarion/Halsin ~ Halsin discovers Astarion was turned before his maturity and all the sacred elven rites that come along with it. Including the sex one.
Friday Nights by SadinaSaphrite ~ Astarion/Gale ~ Professor Gale Dakarios loses his research, his magic, and his lover Mystra all at once and only has himself to blame. When he goes to drown his sorrows, he meets a pale stranger with mysteries of his own.
visions of your love by LargeOctahedron, notyournoise ~ Shadowheart/f!Tav ~ Shadowheart is tired of doubting - of feeling her heart twist whenever she looks at Tav without knowing whether they feel the same. One night, tired of sitting and hoping Tav will approach, she tries to read their mind, only to find them in a rather compromising position.
WIPs I'm following:
Palmarosa by thespectaclesofthor ~ Astarion/Raphael ~ Astarion is stuck in the darkness once more, yearning for sunlight with every fibre of his being, while bitterly reflecting on all the things that were denied to him. Raphael knows Astarion's desperate, and comes to him with not one, but two horrid contract offers that Astarion loathes and dreads in equal measure - but the prize at the end of both are too good to turn down.
To Defy the Gods by ~ Shadowheart/Tav ~ Dark Justiciar. Mother Superior. Shar's Voice Made Flesh. Her Chosen. Shadowheart had emptied her heart of falsehoods, of the illusion of life and love, and accepted the inevitability of loss. Almost.
A Dog's Retreat by ~ Halsin & Astarion, past Astarion/Cazador ~ For most, it was just the end of the Absolute. For Astarion, it was the end of two hundred years of agony. And the transition is steep and slippery. Now, all he can do is hope that there are enough pieces of him left for him to pick up and somehow put back together. Too bad hope has never been Astarion’s poison of choice.
A Warm House, A Ruddy Fire by DepravedJJJSchmidt ~ trans!Astarion/Cazador, trans!Astarion/m!Tav ~ Mr. and Mrs. Cazador Szarr have an ideal marriage. Astarion doesn't know if he will be able to survive another year of it. (And I don't know if I'll survive another chapter tbh, but like a burning building I can't look away 😬)
Alright, that's all I can think of! I'm a bit distracted all over again thanks to the original novel I'm working on now, but hopefully you find something new on this list you end up enjoying 🩵 this fandom is full of so many talented people!!
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frascospecimen · 1 year
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Wow I haven’t posted tma fanart in a long time. Been relistening with a friend and have been thinking of so much fun design stuff ^_^ will probably post more at some point
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buwheal · 28 days
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Hello, Spamton!
How's life? Also, do you have any opinions on the Addisons? (Pink, blue, orange, and yellow)
If so, what do you think of them?
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vynnyal · 4 months
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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shithowdy · 21 days
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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robinfollies · 5 months
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AAAH PANDERITY INTRODUCTION POSTTTT. Super excited to have this done and out there!! There’s still so much to The Panderity Chapter that I haven’t shared yet and hopefully I can reveal a little more of it in due time hehe 🥹🫶
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tj-crochets · 3 months
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Hey y'all! The AC in my house is like half-broken and I have all the heat tolerance of a particularly sad penguin*, so I could use some advice. I am from a desert area, so I know the stay hydrated, electrolytes, loose clothes type advice, but do you have any advice for handling the heat in humid areas specifically? Also, does anyone have any recommendations for sun hats? Specific sun hats you recommend are what I'm looking for, but if you don't have a specific one an idea of what criteria I should look for would be very helpful too *I say this jokingly, idk how much heat tolerance penguins actually have. I have POTS, salt wasting syndrome, and some unknown autoimmune issue that probably involves my endocrine system? Docs are still working on it but the sum total is I cannot exist in hot temperatures
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kris-mage-fics · 28 days
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Thanks for the tag @phenanthreneblue!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? Eight 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 7,656. So far I've only published short little one-shots. 3. What fandoms do you write for? Shepherds of Haven, Scarlet Hollow, and Ebon Light. 4. Top five fics by kudos 1. Had it Been Anyone Else (Ebon Light, it's Haron angst hours lol, spoilers for the end of the game on Ernol's route) 2. A New Room (Ebon Light, Haron fluff, spoilers for the end of the game) 3. Fog (Scarlet Hollow, Tabitha angst, no real spoilers) 4. An Unlikely Engagement (Shepherds of Haven, Kyrahlise/Blade, very, very minor spoiler for Chapter 8) 5. The Best Proof of Love is Trust (Shepherds of Haven, spoilers for Chapter 3 which is in the public demo) It doesn't escape me that they are almost in publication order 5. Do you respond to comments? Always! Though sometimes it takes me a while to do so. I rarely get them so it isn't that hard to respond to them. 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Absolutely Had it Been Anyone Else! It's literally pure angst. Though when I write for Tabitha it always ends up angsty too, so Fog and The Secret of the Greenhouse aren't exactly sunshine and roses. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Some may disagree, but I think The Best Proof of Love is Trust has a very happy ending! 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far.
9. Do you write smut? No? Yes? I've written some, but haven't published any. Smut is hard for me to write because I visualize everything, and there's a lot to visualize in a smut scene compared to a scene without much action. So it's exhausting to write. Also I suspect it's harder to keep sustained enough interest to write a full scene because I'm on the asexual spectrum. It's not something I'm opposed to, it's just harder than other writing for me. That said, there is a sex scene I really want to write, but it probably won't be very sexy, lol! 10. Craziest crossover? Haven't written any. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it would be foolish to say it'll never happen. ;) 14. All time favourite ship? I could make a tier list, but I don't have a favorite anymore than I have a favorite food or tea or board game, lol! 15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic that's a newspaper article on Kyrahlise. It's written as a hit piece on the Hero of Haven, trying to imply she's actually a bad person. The reporter interviewed people in Ashtown who know her, but reading between the lines you figure out they didn't dig up anything and are just overly skeptical of a Diminished woman who quickly gained some fame and power. I planned to end it with a little segment from the perspective of someone Kyrah used to know, where they figure out she's now the Hero everyone won't shut up about. I still like the idea, I just doubt I'll ever finish it.
Also I started one where it's written like the reports from one of the people sent to spy on Blade. Thing is the spy knows Blade, so they see him falling for Kyrahlise and are like, "wtf?!? is she enchanting him? is he actually in love? omg he's so bad at this! wow, it looks like she actually likes him too!" Also they think Kyrah is super sus because a lot of the things she does don't make sense and aren't explained. (Full disclosure: this idea was heavily inspired by a conversation other people had on the ShoH patreon.) 16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and banter, always knowing where my characters are in a scene and what they are doing (the upside of the visualization thing), sweet/cute moments, and angst when I'm in the right mood. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing, lol! Editing, it's hard for me to let go of trying to be 'perfect'. I'll get really stuck on a sentence or paragraph and obsessively revise it even though it's fine, just because I think it can be better. I know it's not healthy or sustainable, and I'm working on it. (I can point to a particular sentence in a fic that I literally spent hours on!) Action! It's the same visualization problem I have with writing smut, it's a lot to keep in my head and it quickly wears me out. Getting the right voice for a lot of characters. My writing tends to be introspective and verbose, which doesn't work for everyone. So it's a struggle to find a balance between the character's voice and my natural writing style. 18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think it's great, for other people to write! I'm pretty terrible at languages, and don't trust myself to get it right without consulting someone who knows that language. Given a lot of what I write for is fantasy with made up languages, that's not going to happen. 19. First fandom you wrote in? Ebon Light, in fact it's the reason I even tried writing in the first place! 20. Favorite fic you've written? I think it's a three way tie between: The Secret of the Greenhouse -- I think I did a good job getting some creepy vibes in such a short piece. It doesn't align with canon at all, but in my opinion it's my best Scarlet Hollow fic. The Best Proof of Love is Trust -- I feel like I succeeded at my goal of showing just how much thought Kyrahlise put into a big choice in Chapter 3, as well as some of her character and past. Had it Been Anyone Else -- I had the sudden need to break Haron's heart. I seem to have accomplished the mission since 100% of the comments mention it being either sad or heartbreaking.
Ngl, I don't know who to tag on this one. Because besides Phen, and one other person, I think most people I know only have one work on ao3, or none. So open tagging it is! If you see this and want to join in, consider yourself tagged, whether you are a mutual or not!
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toasteaa · 12 days
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I don't know what's been going on with me recently but like...there's this tiny shred of guilt that I'm not doing anything really engaging on here anymore? Like, my creative block is fading out (finally), but I haven't drawn or written anything substantial recently and I feel really weird about that. Not just for you all looking at my blog, but also just in a creative bust kind of way.
There are ideas and themes and such that I would love to play with or dabble in, but I keep stopping them because they're either too self indulgent or there's no visual work to go with it. I don't really know how to describe it? Like I feel like I've been lazy creatively speaking recently when I COULD be getting more ideas out, but it's about the same ship all the time and idk, I also feel like I've gotten to the point where I'm talking too much again? Not that anyone here has made me feel like that and I have asks that I need to answer so I KNOW I'm not talking too much but I'm!!!! Being splashed with the self conscious and self critical and imposter syndrome buckets and I need them to stop!!!!
#toast talks#Not necessarily meant to be a vent so I'm not putting it in my vent tag but!#The save to draft button has become my best friend LOL#Idk it's just that weird feeling that settles in whenever I realize that I haven't actually finished anything and then whenever#I'm asked about eclairette specifically I always have the hardest time answering some questions!#And it's like...I know their story? But I also don't? Because it's just in fragments all over my brain that change sometimes?#And then I get sucked into aus because I love the ideas of aus and seeing characters in different situations#but then I worry that maybe I'm not presenting the characters well enough? Or maybe I'm getting too self indulgent in everything I do?#WHICH ISN'T BAD AT ALL I JUST. My brain. It does things and makes me overthink the most basic enjoyments I have.#And part of me feels like this would be solved if I had more ships but like...idk. I do/did have other ships but eclairette just.#They feel right to me. They're like...a comfort ship now? Idk. Their story is fun and enjoyable to me and even their noncanon lore is#fun for me to run through my head on end.#Hmmm. I think my brain has just been in a weird spot recently and it's because creative juices are pumping but I have not done a creative#in...three months?#Good lird I need to at least doodle them again -#btw still not a vent! Just sorting my brain out and trying to see what it's got going on and what it wants cause??? Get it together girl#We've got lore to make. Canon and otherwise.#If you got this far I love you. If you didn't get this far I love you. I need those blue bitches to do SOMETHING soon.#''they should do each other'' true and correct. But that will have to wait. We gotta get lore written down first!
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sensitiveheartless · 1 year
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...K this is going to sound completely out of the blue, but this has been haunting me today —
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miutonium · 4 months
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Its 4 am, I should be sleeping but why is it that I just have the urge to draw and ship her with a pathetic nerd gf??
#that pathetic nerd gf is me#i watched the incredibles recently and suddenly i remembered that I am gay#but also she just kinda reminds me of jessica rabbit personality wise#shes so serious all the time until theres a vwry brief moment she was caught off guard and all her confidence were gone-#when she got sucker punched lol#also i literally wrote this on the fly i imagine like the nerd girl was the lead engineer for most of Syndrome's machine#like yes he is a genius sure but most of the technicalities were made by her#so like I imagine that one day while she and Mirage where in the same room#she was like “you could just leave this place yknow. idk what you see in him that makes you so devoted on building these intricate machines-#for him.“ and she went silent before mirage continued ”you could build for gods for superheroes but you choose to have yourself stuck-#in this volcano island for some rich megalomaniac who got hurt that some fat guy hurts his feelings decades ago“#and just as she was about to protest mirage asked again “what do you see yourself here?” and the nerd girl just kinda laughs and was like#“i dont really see any future here but all I know is he got his toys and I am having fun building it”#and mirage just couldn't help but laugh at her bluntness lol#but also it would be fun that she asked her the question back and mirage couldnt answer it either#its like working for syndrome just gave them both a purpose to live in a sense#i mean likeeee they both dont trust syndrome no no i mean like they have something to do other than wander aimlessly in their lives? idk#this should have been in this post why am i leaving it in the tags?????#anyway chat should I f/o her????#asuka speaks
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ssreeder · 5 months
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I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.
Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?
Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?
Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)
One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.
And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,
His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.
I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.
<3
I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)
I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.
I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)
Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)
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shopwitchvamp · 8 months
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New bio just dropped-
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Main highlights with added info:
-A reminder to please email us if you've got order questions or need help. Social media DMs aren't reliable and also make it much harder to connect you to your order, etc. Plus my bf is just way better at customer service than me lol, so if you email us things will get handled 1000x faster!!
-Anon asks have been disabled. End of an era, truly. But anon hate these days is so boring and uncreative anyway so what's the point. If you want to send an ask and not have it posted publically, just let me know if the ask. (But in that case, once again, it's probably a situation where you're better off emailing us rather than sending an ask that Tumblr may or may not eat depending on how hungry it is that day)
-Also I finally put into our tumblr bio that yes we are still just a 2-person business. I hear tell that my shop makes us appear to be a much bigger operation than we actually are (btw thank you so much for thinking things are too polished to possibly be a tiny business run by 2 people and a middle-manager dog out of an apartment), but please keep that in mind when it comes to what we're able to handle, how quickly we can expand/add products, things often being out of stock, etc etc.
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giantkillerjack · 4 months
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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technically if it's not simmered in the champagne region of france it's a sparkling best boy friend
#you see actually this is an ingeniously relevant caption b/c of the concept of Authentic food tying into the film's main themes re culture#Clearly impeccable lol....anyway here's me using this blog as like a tumblr hosted imgur#also just now in the shower it occurred to me the parallels / overlaps with My Big Fat Greek Wedding. obviously also v different but#so your family & by extension their culture aren't the Normal & your father especially holds on to this distinction#& you don't just want to work at the family business forever & then you meet a nice boy & there's no problem there he's just nice#except then how to reconcile this with your relationship w/your family & your culture & thus also your identity btw....#anyways how about that uhh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#ember lumen#wade ripple#fanart#always a time & a half trying to decide how to tag these kinds of titles. but somehow i survive#it's really a testament to the so precisely captured Cuteness of wade's design that it's like; trying to just do a shadow of it justice lol#it's So good. definitely went for the like expressive wobbliness...the wavy smile is just thee perfect detail all thee time. ugh#giving both of them that Flow while also ember is pointier & has the whole luminosity element....the chefs are kissing#love the Relationship when it's like yeah it's easy to make it agonizing when it's like ya both people have fun & like each other & enjoy#being together & find the relationship enriching & motivating...you Are a cute couple / again that the conflict isn't really even like ooh#will the won't they as a question of if they really like each other; & Definitely not a question of [these ppl hate each other actually] lo#like me saying i like romcoms sometimes when it Does mostly mean i'll watch mybigfatgreekwedding 500x in a row. it's on youtube btw#then you watch some random other romcom & it's psychological torture. random xmas romcomdram like gave me a headache fr....#anyways really liked this film really had a great time i'm def gonna see it again soon#i loved both these characters & their relationship & the Elemental manifestation of Culture is really inchtaraesting#plus other metaphorical resonance ppl find...physical disability; queer experiences....#it was also fun b/c their interacting & their arcs w/each other having that mutual Effect & Change from their dynamic was like#that also just feels like both of them / their relationship = my relationship with myself &/or both how i interact w/the world/anyone#definitely always describing myself in ways like ''i never x except for when i do always; readily'' like Crying for sure lol. I'm Both....#probably a bit more wade? within Myself; by this point lol. i feel like maybe i'm the wade w/someone i'm more comfortable around#but that otherwise i probably come across more emberesque. usually. except for when it's the opposite except for when it's not lmao etc!!!!
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