#The next few of these I will be a lot more random!

[antianakin]

I mean. I don't think there IS a "Watsonian" reason that works. I just don't. If I did, this wouldn't bother me as much as it does. If there was one that I thought actually worked, the writing would probably have simply been better. Sometimes, a Watsonian explanation simply DOESN'T WORK and you just need to settle for the explanation that the writers probably entirely forgot about how important it is that the chip DOES NOT CARE about the technicality of a former Jedi because Palpatine wants them all dead without exceptions, especially within that first night. The ones who end up getting captured later to become Inquisitors should theoretically be spared specifically because they AREN'T captured by clones or something (maybe it's stormtroopers, or the Grand Inquisitor himself, who initially brings them in).

This is also just such a small line in the episode that I doubt anybody really thought about it as much as I did. It's a throwaway line, more intended to foreshadow that she's going to be a Jedi again by the next episode than anything else. If they'd just left the line out and we never saw a clone speak to her at all, that would've been one thing, we could've just all come up with our random headcanons as to why Barriss was spared. But they GAVE us a reason and the reason is exceptionally stupid and contradicts information we've been given previously. So now there's no way to headcanon around it, you cannot make a Watsonian explanation that works because it just... doesn't. It doesn't work.

But sure. Let's look at this new headcanon and talk about why it doesn't work, either. Obviously if you like it enough to keep it and it's important to you to have it because you loved TOTE and what it did with Barriss, more power to you, but I hope you don't mind that I'm going to analyze it and break down why it doesn't work on this post about why this line is exceptionally stupid anyway.

Ahsoka ISN'T actually made a general, she's officially a civilian consultant during the Mandalore mission. The only reason she's able to act like a general/commander is because Rex and the 332nd know her and choose to give her that kind of authority over them, but technically, REX is in charge and Ahsoka's only real contribution is that she understands more about the mission at hand. The clones really aren't all that confused about what Ahsoka's actual status is here, they know she's not officially a Jedi, and their loyalty to her presumably does not come from whether she's a Jedi or not.

It also just doesn't work for me that the chip allows for the clones to MAKE their own exceptions like that. If it gives that much leeway, this could be a massive problem for Palpatine. Like if the clones COULD just logic their way out of killing one of them somehow, it opens the door for some of them to survive and escape. And also, the whole point of the TCW scene is to show us that the chip CAN'T be worked around through logic. It should not allow for the clones to be able to even CONSIDER what Barriss did or didn't do and whether this does or does not make her a Jedi anymore. TBB chooses to give the clones a little bit more ability to consider their actions later on, once the chip has begun to wear off more, but in the immediate moment of Order 66 and probably the first few days or weeks afterward, the clones should have next to no autonomy over the choice of whether to kill someone that the chip/Order considers a Jedi or not.

It also seems like that would be a really complicated bit of code to try to make it so that the clones only kill people who a) are officially part of the Jedi Order and b) aren't part of the Jedi Order but ARE Force sensitive and act like Jedi sometimes, but NOT c) aren't part of the Jedi Order and ARE Force sensitive but don't always act like Jedi anymore. It's a lot simpler to just say "all Jedi, past and present."

Personally, I feel like the chip should OVERRIDE whatever the clones would've felt about the Jedi in question, not be BASED on what the clones felt about the Jedi in question. That just leaves way too much to chance and I don't see Palpatine being willing to allow that.

So, you know, have your Watsonian explanation if you want it. I'll just still be over here in my corner talking about why TOTE is badly written and makes no sense. I'm not LOOKING for a good explanation, it's not like I WANT to like this show and it's just this one weird line keeping me from enjoying it (honestly if I liked the rest of it and this was the one line I thought was bad, I'd just ignore it or find it amusing probably). I think the show is bad overall and in general anyway, this just happens to be one moment that I thought was particularly stupid. So even if you DID manage to come up with a good enough headcanon to explain it on a Watsonian level, the rest of the show would still be frustrating and upsetting and bad. The stupidity of the line is just an example of the stupidity of the rest of the writing in the show, it's an example of the greater issue with the writing on the show which is that nobody on the writing staff of this show gave a flying shit about writing something that made any sense or was good and meaningful, to the point that they couldn't even do enough homework to know that this kind of exception for Barriss SHOULD NOT HAVE WORKED.

There was an entire major plot element in the Order 66 arc of TCW season 7 about how the chip didn't care that Ahsoka wasn't technically a Jedi anymore and was forcing the clones to want to kill her anyway.

Like.

It's a pretty important part of that whole story that Ahsoka not being in the Jedi Order anymore DOESN'T exempt her from Order 66. It would've been a pretty boring story if that technicality had WORKED.

But somehow the clones guarding Barriss at the prison are totally fine applying that technicality to her.

I guess they just like her better than Rex and the 332nd liked Ahsoka in the end or something. Ironic.

[decentwritings]

Chapter 4

Summary: At twenty-six, you never expected your life to look like this: a veteran, a college dropout, now running drugs to cover your late father’s debts. The military took you away for a brief moment, but now you're back in your hometown, keeping family at a distance to keep them safe. Your simple plan to clear the debt, one job at a time, unravels the moment Mabel steps into your life.

previous part <--> next part

The diner gives off the same energy you get from the beach—warm, familiar, and buzzing with the chatter of regulars and clinking dishes. You feel a sense of relief wash over you as the door closes behind you, the chaos of the outside world fading for a moment. The smell of your uncle's cooking greets you like an old friend, grounding you.

Rudy waves you over from behind the counter, his grin wide and welcoming. "If it isn't my favorite niece! And Mabel! Come sit!"

You smile at Rudy's loud enthusiasm, but your mind still lingers on the distant pops you heard before. Mabel tugs on your sleeve, guiding you to a booth by the window. She's already chatting away, but you glance outside for a split second, keeping a watchful eye on the street.

"Hey," she says, her tone soft but insistent, pulling your attention back to her. "You with me?"

You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah. Just... keeping an eye out."

Jodie comes over with some water, smiling at how close you two are. You can already tell she has a few things to say just by the look on her face.

"I see you finally got her to let her guard down," Jodie says as she sets some utensils on the napkins she sets out. You purse your lips into a thin line, exhausted by this conversation already. "She's like her mother in that way."

You sit back, rubbing your temples when you hear Mabel chuckle.

She senses your discomfort so she shrugs. "I get the whole having your guard up," she bumps your shoulder with her gently. "But I showed her it's okay to relax around me."

You wish that were true, but right now, you're more on guard than ever—just not towards her. Your eyes keep scanning the diner, examining every person, every potential threat. You hate it. You hate not being able to fully relax around her, not showing her the side of you that she deserves—the dorky, carefree version that you know is buried somewhere under all the layers of vigilance.

Jodie hums, happily and almost dreamily. You raise a brow at her and she gets the hint. She raises her hands up in mock surrender then excuses herself. She tells you Rudy is whipping up a special specifically for you two, leaving you two alone.

Mabel pulls a journal out of her bag, something you've seen her do twice since you've met her. The first time at the beach after you avoided her for a couple days and now. The journal looks worn out, crinkled at the edges and you wonder if the journal was in the bag that fell in the water.

Mabel glances at you, noticing your gaze lingering on the worn-out journal. She flashes a small, almost sheepish smile as she flips it open. "You curious?"

You shrug, but you can't help the slight raise of your eyebrows. "I mean, yeah..." you admit, shrugging again. "I suck at writing. I was always envious of people who were able to transfer their thoughts onto paper easily. And handwriting wise–I mean, I have chicken scratch for handwriting," you tell her, scoffing at yourself.

She chuckles softly, thumbing through the pages before stopping at a blank one. "It's nothing deep. Just a place for me to jot down thoughts, random ideas—sometimes things I want to say but can't."

You nod, trying to imagine her sitting down to write after the beach or in moments when you're not around. "It looks like it's been through a lot."

She glances at the worn edges, smiling. "It has. It was in my bag when it fell in the water. Got lucky though, most of it survived." Her fingers trace the cover as if she's remembering something.

You're tempted to ask more, but instead, you lean back and offer her a genuine smile. "It suits you. Mysterious, a little beat up, but still standing strong."

Mabel laughs, shaking her head as she looks down at the journal. "I'll take that as a compliment." She pauses, then adds, "Maybe one day I'll let you read some of it... if you're lucky."

Your smile widens, and a warm feeling stirs in your chest as you realize just how much Mabel trusts you. She's offering you a glimpse into her inner world, a place where her most personal thoughts and ideas live.

Then it hits you; the trust she has shown you. Yet you haven't shown her not even half of the trust she's shown you.

"You know I trust you, right?" you say, voice suddenly quiet, glancing at her. Mabel raises an eyebrow, her expression curious but kind. "I trust you, really, I do." You're not sure if you're trying to convince her or yourself.

"Of course. Why wouldn't you?"

You shrug, forcing a smile. "I just hate that I can't turn it off sometimes." Her head tilts, confused by your words. "I feel like...like I'm not here. I want to be present, really be here with you."

Mabel tilts her head, her eyes searching yours. "You are here with me," she says softly, her hand finding yours under the table. "Even if you're keeping an eye out, I know you're still with me."

Her words bring you a sense of calm you weren't expecting, a reminder that even if you're cautious, she sees through the armor.

You feel relief wash over you, her words sinking in. They say the transition to civilian life is difficult and you wanted to prove that wrong but you find yourself proving it right more times than not. To know that Mabel has some sort of understanding about it settles your nerves a little. You can protect her, be on guard, while not having to worry you're making her feel unwanted.

It's hard to let go of the instinct to always be on alert, but with Mabel, it feels like there's a part of you that can start to relax. She's patient with you, understanding in ways you didn't expect, and that makes you want to give her more of yourself—more of the version you want to be around her.

"Thank you," you say, your voice low but filled with sincerity. "I promise you, I'm trying. I want to be here. With you."

Her hand squeezes yours, twice and you glance down at your intertwined fingers. You nod in understanding, no words shared anymore, and allow her to write in her journal.

Just as the moment settles between you, Rudy appears from the kitchen with plates in hand, breaking the tension. He gives a knowing look as he places your food on the table. "Special order for two."

You both dig in, with Rudy taking a seat to join you. He starts to talk and takes advantage of times you have your mouth full to tell Mabel embarrassing stories. You can only glare, defending yourself after you've swallowed what's in your mouth.

In the end, you both have a great time. You enjoy hearing Mabel's laugh, seeing her smile and feeling the lightness of the moment. It's a simple thing, sharing a meal and listening to stories, but it feels like a step forward—a step towards the peace you've been chasing.

As the meal winds down, Rudy excuses himself, leaving you and Mabel alone once more. She's still smiling, her fingers tracing the rim of her water glass absentmindedly, and you take a moment to just watch her. You realize that in this moment, surrounded by the sounds of the diner, with her laughter still echoing in your ears, you feel more present than you've felt in a long time.

You lean back in your chair, feeling something shift inside of you, a sense of gratitude for her patience and the ease she brings to your life. For the first time in a while, you let yourself just be—right here, with her, and nowhere else.

\\\\\\

Days pass, and you and Mabel are practically inseparable. She joins you at your nephew's field day, laughing as she cheers him on louder than anyone else. You watch her out of the corner of your eye, her enthusiasm infectious, making you smile more than usual. She fits into your world so seamlessly, like she was always meant to be here. She cheers you and Devin on in the three-legged race and cheers him up when you guys wind up in third place.

Then comes the last day of school. The two of you stand outside the building, waiting for your nephew. When the bell rings, he runs straight to Mabel, throwing his arms around her in excitement before even greeting you. You roll your eyes, pretending to be jealous, but deep down, you're glad they've bonded so easily. He hops into her car and practically begs her to go fast; because she's infamous for her driving.

Mabel laughs, ruffling your nephew's hair as she buckles him in. "I'm not getting in trouble with your aunt today," she teases, glancing at you with a playful smirk.

You cross your arms, shaking your head. Your nephew looks at you, arms crossing in a way that reminded you of your sister.

You look between them. "I'm not liking this duo...I feel outranked." You frown, earning a laugh from Mabel.

Devin pouts, slumping in his seat. "You're no fun," he mutters, but it's clear he's just teasing. He can't help but grin when Mabel cranks up the music, and soon enough, he's singing along, his earlier disappointment forgotten.

As you drive back home, you find yourself watching them interact in the rearview mirror, feeling a warmth spread through your chest.

When you pull into your sister's driveway, Devin hops out of the car and races inside, yelling something about showing Mabel his latest toy car. He claims it can go as fast as Mabel's car. You chuckle, shaking your head at his excitement, but then your heart skips a beat when you notice a familiar car parked in front of the house.

Your mom.

"Shit," you mutter under your breath, suddenly remembering she had planned to stop by today.

Mabel glances over, noticing your tension. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just... forgot my mom was coming over," you admit, rubbing the back of your neck. "She doesn't know you're here."

Before you can say anything else, your mom steps out of her car, already waving as she approaches. There's no backing out now.

"Faro!" she calls, then her eyes immediately land on Mabel. Curiosity flickers in her expression, but she smiles warmly. "And who's this?"

You clear your throat, suddenly feeling like a teenager caught sneaking someone into the house. "Mom, this is Mabel."

Your mom's smile widens, and she looks between the two of you knowingly. "Mabel." She says it like she's testing the name. Mabel nods, smiling at your mother shyly. "Well, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." She raises an eyebrow at you as she says this, clearly enjoying your discomfort.

It's a lie. You've never mentioned Mabel to anyone except your aunt and uncle. They only know because they've butt into your personal life.

Mabel, to her credit, handles the situation smoothly, shaking your mom's hand with a warm smile. "It's nice to meet you too. Faro, here, has told me some great stories," she laughs, glancing at you.

You sigh quietly, hearing Mabel use your nickname making you... feel different. You've never minded the nickname, but Mabel had always called you by your name until now. You like hearing her say it. Now, you only think of the nickname as something you once were—a version of yourself from before everything changed, before you met Mabel, before life started feeling more complicated. It doesn't bother you, but it belongs to that past self, one that doesn't quite fit anymore.

You want to be that person again.

Mabel's use of the nickname stirs something inside you that's hard to explain, even to yourself. Mabel notices the subtle shift in your expression. Her brow furrows, like she's tempted to ask, but instead, she offers you a small, reassuring smile—one you're starting to understand more and more.

Your mom gives you that look—you know the one—the one that says she'll be grilling you about this later, but for now, she's on her best behavior. "Well, had I known you were coming, I would have brought more stuff to cook," She waves toward the bag of groceries she brought, looking entirely too pleased with herself.

You clear your throat, realizing you hadn't planned to stay for dinner. You only meant to hang with Devin until your sister got home.

"Umm, ma," you start but she cuts you off, like she knows what you have to say.

"Nope," she shakes her head and grins. "I'll go in and get set up after I check on that little monster," she laughs, leaving no room for you to argue.

Mabel attempts to follow your mother but you grab her hand gently, halting her movements. She looks back at you, curiosity filling her eyes. Your mother, with that extra mother sense, glances back at you both.

"There a problem?" She raises a brow.

You clear your throat awkwardly. "You need more ingredients, she needs more ingredients," you say to Mabel, and she laughs at your flustering mess of a speech. "We're gonna go get some more ingredients for you. We'll be–"

"Ahh," your mother wiggles a finger at you, shutting your idea down. "You can go. Mabel, come with me, I want to show you how to make the most popular Peruvian dish," your mom finishes, already pulling Mabel toward the house with a wink thrown in your direction.

You blink, left standing there as Mabel gives you a playful, helpless shrug before following your mom inside. You know exactly what's happening here—your mom is trying to get to know Mabel in her own way, and by the looks of it, Mabel's more than willing to humor her.

As you stand there, it hits you how quickly things have escalated. If the kiss is the start of a relationship, then technically, you and Mabel have only been together for a week. And she's meeting your mom already?

Mabel meeting your mom wasn't on the agenda today, or even for the next month and half she's here. But here they are now, bonding over dinner prep. You feel a strange mix of pride and nervousness. Part of you wants to storm in there and interrupt, but another part knows this is good. Maybe it's time to let your worlds mesh a little more, even if it feels like it's happening too fast.

You rub the back of your neck, chuckling to yourself as you glance toward the door. You can already hear your mom's laughter inside, and Mabel's responding with something you can't quite make out.

It's strange, hearing those two get along so naturally, but it also fills you with warmth. With Erin, it took your mother some time to even acknowledge her as your girlfriend. Your sister claimed she was being protective of her baby but you knew it was because your mom didn't think Erin was a good fit for you. She had been polite, sure, but it was clear your mom kept her distance. Things felt different with Mabel already. Your mom's openness, her immediate warmth toward Mabel, caught you off guard, and maybe that's why it feels like it's happening so fast.

Maybe, just maybe, you've found something real with Mabel, something that fits into your life in ways you hadn't expected.

A couple minutes pass and Mabel sneaks out of your sister's house for a second. You assume she managed to convince your mom to let her go but she tosses you her keys, and you catch it with your jaw dropped.

"Drive safe," she calls out then returns back into the house. You blow out a huff, shaking your head at her actions. Seconds later, her head pops out again and your hopes are up again. "Your mom said to buy limes–okay, bye!"

You stand there, keys in hand, still processing what just happened. Mabel's playful energy and the ease with which she's won over your mom leaves you stunned. You can't help but laugh, a mix of disbelief and affection bubbling up inside you.

Shaking your head, you hop into Mabel's car and start the engine. As you drive toward the store, your mind races, replaying the day's events. It's like everything is happening faster than you ever planned. But, at the same time, it doesn't feel wrong. It feels... right.

There's a comfort with Mabel that you can't quite put into words. Like all the pieces are finally falling into place.

When you arrive at the store and park, your thoughts are filled with Mabel, as they have been since you first met her. In the corner of your eye, you spot a familiar black van with some faded lettering on it. A chill runs down your spine, but you quickly shake it off, dismissing it as a coincidence. You don't want anything to ruin the warmth you feel today, so you rush to grab the items on your list, your mind focused on getting back to Mabel and your mom. You head inside, scanning the aisles with a distracted smile. Everything feels light, but a flicker of unease brushes against your subconscious.

You dart through the produce section, tossing a few limes into your basket, and then head toward the checkout. As you wait in line, your thoughts drift back to Mabel, imagining her laughter and the way her eyes light up when she's excited.

"Glad I caught you in person."

You furrow your brows and turn to see Nick standing there, appearing out of nowhere. You hadn't even noticed him before—lost in your thoughts, you hadn't scouted the store before going about your shopping.

"Nick," you say, forcing a smile. "Doing some shopping?"

Nick chuckles, but it sounds humorless. "Sure," he replies, clicking his tongue as he gestures toward the line that's moved up. You take a step forward, and he isn't far behind. "I got tired of your one-worded messages. And you've managed to dodge my calls pretty well. I got patience, but... to a limit." He grits out the last part, the tension in his voice rising.

You grip the basket's handle tightly, searching for more self-control, trying to ignore the unease twisting in your stomach.

"There's a tradeoff going on tonight at the usual place," he continues, lingering close behind you as the line shifts again. "One of the guys from the docks can't make it, and the other... well, he's a shitty liar, so he's out of commission until his hand heals."

You whip your head back, your heart racing as you try to hide your worry. You hope to God it's Charlie's hand that's broken and not Costa's. Not that Charlie deserves it but Costa is the least deserving of the two.

"Be there at eleven, or if rumors are true..." he lowers his voice, stepping closer to you, his breath brushing against your ear, "Mabel's face will be covered in bruises again."

A chill runs down your spine at his threat, and you take a shaky breath, forcing your expression to remain neutral. How does he know her name?

His lips quirk into a smirk. "Yeah," he drags out, almost giddily. "Mabel isn't a stranger to this world. She knows how things work. As do you. You know how things work in our world. You owe me, and I expect you to fulfill your end of the deal."

Your jaw clenches. You don't care how well Mabel may know of this world. She isn't part of this and you're not going to let them force her back in it.

"I'll be there," you say, narrowing your eyes as you fully turn to face him. "But if you go anywhere near her, I swear–"

"Swear what?" Nick interrupts, leaning in with a condescending grin. His eyes trace your face and his smiles widens. "You're cute when you're mad. But you have no leverage. Pay your idiot of a father's debt by doing what we ask, and if you do it right; no one gets hurt. Cool?"

A mix of anger and dread bubbles inside you. He nods, taking your lack of response as an answer of agreement. You turn back around and move up the line, noticing you're up next to checkout.

"Be happy it's just your girlfriend," Nick says still right behind you. "Had Mabel not showed up, it would've been your mom, sister or that little rugrat of a nephew–man, that kid is adorable." He laughs gently.

Your experience with the military is unknown to him. You're unsure if threats would be less if he knew. What you do know for sure is if he knew you were military, he would use that as an advantage. Oliver is military and they clearly use him to their advantage, so you can only imagine how Nick would spin your past to manipulate you further. The thought sends a cold wave of anger through you. You tighten your grip on the basket, fighting the urge to turn around and confront him again.

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't test my patience if I were you," you say, trying to sound more confident than you feel.

Nick chuckles softly, as if he finds your bravado amusing.

You step up to the cashier, scanning your items quickly and trying to focus on the mundane task at hand instead of the threat looming over you.

"I'll see you at eleven," he pats your back, harsher than any man should push any average person. Lucky for you, you're not average. He earns stares with his actions but he doesn't pay any mind to it. "Don't be late." He winks, taking an apple you had on the conveyor belt.

Your heart races as you finish checking out, your mind racing with possibilities. You can't let Mabel or your family become collateral damage in Nick's twisted games.

As you leave the store, you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of thoughts swirling in your head. You need a plan. Knowing your mother, she plans on talking Mabel's ear off until the late hours of the night. You hope you can get out by ten, have Mabel home by ten-thirty and be at the place by eleven.

You hop into Mabel's car, your heart still racing from the encounter with Nick. The thought of that apple in his hand irks you—an innocent gesture that feels loaded with intimidation. You shake your head, trying to focus on the road ahead.

As you drive back home, you mentally rehearse your plan. Your mother can talk for hours, but if you time it right, you can slip out before Mabel gets too comfortable. You glance at the clock on the dashboard—only a few minutes have passed since you left the store, but it feels like an eternity.

When you arrive home, you find your mother in the kitchen, excitedly chatting with Mabel about the dish they're preparing. The aroma of spices fills the air, mixing with the sound of laughter, and for a moment, the warmth of the moment makes you forget about Nick.

"You got the limes?" Your mother breaks you out of your stupor. Mabel's eyes are on you and you can tell she sees something is off about you. Either you're easy to read or she's just caught on to how you try to pretend everything is okay when it really isn't. You realize you left the groceries in the car so you excuse yourself to get them.

You're grabbing the stuff from the backseat when you see Mabel join you outside. She walks over to you, quiet and tentative, treading carefully as to not trigger your fight instinct.

Mabel stands in front of you, her eyes scanning your face for answers. She's always had this ability to see through the walls you put up, and today is no different. You can tell she's waiting for you to say something, but you're not sure where to start. You close the car door, trying to mask the tension you're feeling, but it's no use.

"What's going on?" she asks softly, taking a step closer. "You've been off since you got back."

You exhale, looking down at the bags in your hand as if they'll give you an excuse to avoid the conversation. But Mabel isn't going to let it go, not this time. Her voice is gentle but firm, and you know she won't let you keep avoiding the truth.

But you don't want her in this. Not after what Nick said. The less she knows, the better it is for her.

"Just saw an old friend," you lie with a shrug, forcing a smile.

Mabel narrows her eyes, clearly not convinced. She knows you too well to fall for a half-hearted answer like that. You have to be easy to read; which is shameful. You were trained to hide any sort of emotion. But it's like Mabel sees right past that. Her lips press into a thin line as she studies your face, searching for the truth you're holding back.

"An old friend?" she repeats, her voice calm but with an edge of skepticism. "And that's why you've been acting weird ever since you came home?"

You swallow hard, trying to maintain your composure, but it's difficult under her gaze. She steps closer, her eyes never leaving yours.

"Weird? I just forgot the bags in the car," you shoot back, furrowing your brows.

Mabel nods, still not convinced. "Who was this friend?"

You still, fumbling with the bags in your hands. "Umm," you fumble with a lie. "A guy from an old job," your words comes out like a question, which doesn't help you.

"Old job?" Mabel arches a brow, stepping closer. "What old job?"

Your heart skips a beat as the lie begins to unravel. You can't tell her about Nick or the threat he made. Not when she's already too close to the fire. You avert your gaze, trying to focus on anything but her piercing eyes.

"Just a guy from a side job I did before," you mutter, shifting the bags in your hands to avoid her scrutiny. "Nothing important."

Mabel's expression hardens. She knows you're deflecting, and her patience is running thin. "Why do I feel like you're not telling me everything? You're acting like there's more to it than that."

You clench your jaw, frustration boiling inside. She's right—there's so much more, but you can't risk dragging her into this. Not with Nick's threat still hanging over your head. "Mabel, just drop it, okay? It was an old friend; he's a dick, and I don't like the guy."

Mabel's eyes narrow, clearly not satisfied with your answer. Her frustration is starting to show, but she takes a deep breath, trying to keep calm. "A guy you don't like, from a job you barely remember. And that's why you're acting so weird? That doesn't add up."

You're better off starting a fight than telling her the truth. Nick called her your girlfriend, and technically, she isn't.

"Why are you bombarding me with questions? It's not like you're my girlfriend," you scoff, walking past her, not missing the stunned expression on her face.

Mabel's face hardens, the hurt flashing in her eyes before she quickly masks it. She's not one to let emotions show easily, but you can tell your words stung.

"Right," she says, her voice cold. You turn to look at her, guilt troubling your stomach at the hurt expression on her face. "I'm not your girlfriend. So I guess I don't have the right to care about you, or to ask questions when you're clearly upset."

You pause, guilt creeping in as you realize what you just said, but before you can respond, Mabel steps back, distancing herself from you.

"Give me my keys."

Her words hang in the air, and you feel the weight of them pressing down on your chest. You didn't mean to hurt her, just shut her down, but now you've made things worse.

"Wait, Mabel, I'm sorry–"

"Look, I get being guarded, but have I not shown you that I'm here for you?" Mabel interrupts, her voice steady but tinged with frustration.

She's better at controlling her emotions than you are. Maybe you should have stayed in college. Maybe you have been more emotionally mature if you had.

She's staring at you, her arms crossed tightly, waiting for an explanation you're not sure you can give. "I've been patient, giving you space, but this—this is different."

You run a hand through your hair, the guilt and frustration mixing with the growing pressure of Nick's threats. "It's not like that," you say, your voice quieter now. "I just... I'm trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" Mabel repeats, her tone incredulous. "By pushing me away and lying to me? How does that protect me?"

You don't have a good answer. Not one that will fix the way she's looking at you right now, as if you're slipping further away from her.

"I don't want you involved in something you don't deserve to be a part of," you admit, voice low.

Mabel's eyes soften, but only slightly. "I can take care of myself. You don't have to shut me out. But I'm not going to stick around if this is how you're going to deal with things."

Her words sting more than you expected. You've been trying to keep her safe, trying to keep her at a distance from all of this, but in doing so, you're pushing her away—maybe for good.

"Now," she ignores the pained look in your eyes, "my keys." She holds her hand out.

You ignore a voice in the back of your head shouting at you to stop, to not give her her keys. To not let her walk away. But you're an idiot, who gives her her keys.

"Tell your mom I'm sorry," she snatches keys from your hand then walks to the driver's side. She pauses and looks at you.

The silence between you stretches painfully as Mabel pauses by the driver's side, her hand resting on the door handle. You can feel the weight of the moment, the finality in her movement, and it gnaws at you.

"You're not going to say anything?" she asks, her voice quieter now, almost fragile. She looks at you, waiting, hoping maybe you'll give her a reason to stay.

But you don't know what to say. Everything you've been holding back, all the fear, the threats, it's locked inside, and you can't bring yourself to drag her into that mess. You are your father's daughter. He never said anything either.

Then be different, you hear your grandfather's voice in the back of your head.

"I—" you start, but the words die in your throat. You see the disappointment flicker across her face as she turns away.

"Take care of yourself," she says, the sadness in her voice unmistakable before she climbs into her car.

You watch as she drives away, the tail lights fading into the distance, leaving you standing there in the cold emptiness of your driveway, feeling like you've just made the biggest mistake of your life.

Seven days. It's fitting, considering it's your favorite number.

You had seven perfect days with Mabel. It was bound to end someday. Whether with her leaving at the end of the summer or by your stupidity. How your father managed to keep your mother is beyond you. Your father was worse than you.

How did he do it?

You don't bother to even think of it, returning back into your sister's home with your head down. Your mother asks for Mabel and you come up with a better lie to her than you did Mabel. She makes you swear to invite Mabel over again, to treat her well because she loves her.

And you hate yourself for already disobeying your mother. You hate yourself even more because you do, too.

Three weeks since you met her. Seven days since you kissed her. And already, you love her.

[wishwingalpha]

Here’s a really shitty pitch for the next life series theme.

I call it, shared life.

Two random players share one inventory, it’s a lot like double life. No health is shared, just inventory. I can imagine the fights of the people paired for what’s important enough to keep in their ONE inventory. This also means they share armor, because of this they can use better enchants and have a few more lives like in wildlife. For the people who don’t team together that share an inventory, it’s hell. There would definitely be some bugs to fix but I think that’s the best part.

The plot twist? This was all just a Grian ploy to hate on the inventory system, hoping that Minecraft fixes it.

What happens when your partner dies, you may be asking? Sure you don’t have to share inventory anymore, but slowly, and painfully— those inventory spots start disappearing.

Is it the best gimmick? No. Is it *that* interesting? Not really. But it would be really funny just because of how the series is, and that’s what counts.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

In Defence of Sam Winchester

(Or alternately titled)

Two Times Sam Actually Made Pretty Big Mistakes and Several Times When He Did Not (But was Blamed Anyway)

I have two sort of random thoughts on this scene, followed by a long-ass rant about Sam’s Alleged Screw-ups under the cut. This is me, so of course it got long.

1. “Sam, I want Gadreal to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you.”

Truth. Here we have one of the few times I can unreservedly agree with Castiel.

2. “Being human didn’t just change my view of food, it changed my view of you.”

I don’t ship on this show, both brothers are implied to be straight, and I don’t want to see either of them in a long term relationships while the other is around because it would just suck to be Sam or Dean’s significant other, as you’d always be a distant second to their brother.

But … if Castiel had to fall for one of the brothers (we are not discussing whatever that was in Despair), it should have been Sam. First, Sam treated him with a ton more courtesy, respect and forgiveness than Dean (and more than he ever deserved), and the arc could have been really compelling. Seeing an angel going from seeing Sam as an abomination, to protecting him for Dean’s sake, to protecting him for his Sam’s own sake, to learning to empathize and relate to Sam after being human himself, to loving him for overcoming his own flaws and guilt could have been pretty epic. Again, I’m fine with it not actually happening because Supernatural is not about romance for me, but they could have done something similar and made Sam and Cas' friendship more rich if they’d given them more screen time. There are moments where Sam and Cas are quite sweet with each other, just fond; meanwhile, Dean is cursing Cas out every other episode, and Cas is backstabbing Dean (and Sam) while they call each other friend. And Jared and Misha have good chemistry, so if Cas had to stick around longer than his character warranted, they should have had the characters who can relate to each other actually have opportunities to, well, relate more. And I don’t buy that line that Jared and Misha couldn’t get through a scene together because the gags and bloopers have to be exaggerated or no one could have gotten through scenes on set, and none of them would have gotten jobs after the show ended.

Anyway, on to what truly sparked this post..

3. “The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you, is me.”

So, this is the part of the scene where my Sam and Cas interaction fondness evaporates. The basic statement is correct, Castiel has in fact “screwed things up” more than Sam, but the implication is that Sam is this constant screw-up, and with this I take issue. Much issue.

This scene is located in Season 9, a season where Sam has in fact not screwed up, but has rather been screwed over. Dean has screwed up here, you know, the other Winchester brother who makes mistakes but doesn’t get the “consistent” blame for it that Sam does by the show (or characters. Or many fans). This is not in anyway anti Dean, but both brothers screw up a lot and the Sam scapegoating is out of control.

On that note, when has Sam consistently screwed up (in a big way, not smaller things), with him solely responsible for doing the “screwing,” and when is it a result of actions outside of his control?

Season 1: Sam going to college was treated like he committed murder, when it was actually normal and justifiable thing to do, so I’m not counting that. Next, Sam discovered he’s been fed demon blood as a baby, so he’s monster adjacent. This is not something he did wrong, but was done to him. He also failed to kill Azazrl, but he did so because he couldn’t kill his own dad who was possessed at the time (especially with Dean begging him not to). No major failures or screw-ups here.

Season 2: Sam is possessed by a demon, who kills and attacks people while wearing his body. Sam didn’t chose this, but it is another thing that was done to him. Later, be gets killed (if you can call that screwing something up) because he showed compassion to another “Soecisl Child.” His reward for his goodness was being stabbed in the back. He didn’t screw anything up on a grad scale this season, but was too good.

Season 3: Sam fails to save Dean from his Demon Deal. Again, Sam didn’t make this deal, so Dean dying was his own fault (as sad and awful as it is). Sam could have saved Dean (we know this from Season. 4’s arc), but Dean would not let him work with Ruby to do so. Again, Dean died because of Dean, not Sam. Though, I will never forgive the show for not letting Sam save him here, it still isn’t a Sam scew-up.

Season 4: Ah, here is the major time that Sam did in fact screw up. Drinking the demon blood and trusting Ruby were no bueno (though she did do the work to make herself look trustworthy and Sam was mad with grief, he still fuckrd up). Then, his “greatest” mistake: he killed Lilith, freeing Lucifer from the cage and starting the apocalypse. This was a major screw up too, but he also didn’t know what was going to happen, and if he didn’t do it, Dean was planning to do the same, so I don’t think he deserved actual blame for killing a demon (without knowing the consequences), when everyone from angels to demons was suggesting she needed to die. My tally: 1.5 Sam screw-ups.

Season 5: All Sam does this whole Season is be honest, atone, redeem himself, and Save the world (with Dean’s help). Sam is perfect in Season 5. Fight me.

Season 6: Sam does a lot of bad shit: kills a lot of people, tries to dad-icide Bobby, brings the Campbells on screen by hunting with them (snd they suck), and hurts Dean pretty repeatedly. Except Sam, the real Sam, didn’t do any of these things by choice. “He lost his soul” which Dean even blmaes him for in Season 8, but that’s giving Sam too much agency in this problem. He didn’t “lose” his soul like he “lost his shoe.” No. His soul was left behind, deliberately or not, by Castiel (lead screw-up himself) to be tortured by Lucifer in the cage. Sam’s actions in Season 6 were not “just another Sam screw-up” because he didn’t actually do anything wrong because the Real Sam wasn’t even steering the ship. So, smy Soulless Sam mistakes in Season 6 are Castiel’s Fault.

Season 7: Sam goes insane. Even though some of the characters seems to blame Sam for this (or at least resent him for it), as though MHI are something for which we should blame the affected person, Sam is not to blame here. Having a bout of insanity after being tortured in hell for 150+ years is not a screw-up. It’s not an oopsie. It’s both reasonable and not Sam’s fault. It is in fact Castiel’s fault (again) for breaking Sam’ hell wall. So, much like last season, in Season 7, Sam even more so did nothing wrong. I really will fight you on that one.

Season 8: And here’s the crux of what Castiel was probably actually more directly referring to. Sam didn’t save Dean from Purgatory. He committed the cardinal sin of codependent brother husbands (I don’t ship, but I do call them this to amuse myself). He didn’t save Dean from Purgatory: he didn’t sell his soul; lose himself in grief, pursuit of revenge, or self-destruction (like in Mysety Spot or Season 4); or try to kill himself to make a deal to get this brother back. What a monster! Never mind that he didn’t know that Dean was in Purgatory at all, or that he thought he was doing what Dean would have wanted in case of his death, and try to live (like he told Dean to do when he sacrifices himself in Sean Sing).

If we need to count this as one of Sam’s big screw-ups (as opposed to weak and/or out of character writing), we are now at two major mistakes (or 2.5). Sam had “consistently” actively screwed things up on a large-Castiel-like scale twice in 9 seasons. The other screw-ups were because he was too good of a person or because someone else has done something to him that has lead to terrible consequences.

Actually, I guess we have to count Sam not closing the gates of hell, as if that would have worked out in our favour on this never ending tragedy of a show even if he’d done it. Still, I guess he didn’t “succeed” in dying on an errand thst probably would have backfired on the world anyway. But, in this case he actually would have succeeded (and did in the first 3 trials) if Dean hadn’t stopped him. Dean begged him not to complete the last trial so he wouldn't kill himsrlf, so if this is one of Sam’s screw-ups, it’s Dean’s too. And I’m not even inclined to count it as one because, as I said, it probably wouldn’t have had the resulted in anything good if the gates were closed. But, if I must add it, Sam’s tally is 3.5 large mistakes in 9 + years.

Castiel, you’re kind of an asshole.

(Before anyone comes at me, if you bother to read this far, I know Sam (and Dean, and everyone) makes lots of smaller mistakes, but for the purposes of my rebuttal to Castiel’s point, I’m only focused on big world-ending, or in other ways personally devastating, mistakes.)

[fereldanwench]

I think I'm just about done with my impromptu blog clean-up! I'm still sorting some tagging systems out, but I've got the fandom and personal stuff squared away at the very least, which was where I really wanted a little refresh.

For those who are also organizational enthusiasts, these are a few of the tools and methods I used to make it a little easier to sort through over 25,000 posts accumulated over about 8 years. One major caveat is that most of these have to be used on a PC browser.

Tumblr Tools

Your Tumblr Mass Post Editor This is Tumblr's native mass post editor; the link is on the right-hand sidebar on your blog page (right under settings). It's very limited without any extensions, but you can do some batch actions like deleting a ton of posts or changing tags.

Your Tumblr Blog Archive This looks very similar to the post editor, but you can actually narrow down the posts by tag, which is super helpful. You can access this by going to your blog.tumblr.com/archive (e.g. fereldanwench.tumblr.com) but you must have custom themes enabled to view it (you can find that under your blog settings).

Tumblr Secret URLs Okay, they're not that secret, but they aren't readily accessible anywhere either and you have to manually enter them. There's a list here with the most helpful ones.

External Tools

Tumblr Tag List Generator This web tool will let you generate a list of the tags it can find on your blog. It's not 100% accurate--The "tags to exclude" option never seems to work for me, and it does miss stuff--But I love using this to find posts with random tags or tagged with a typo.

Tag Replacer There are a few different tag-replacing tools out there, but I like this one a lot because it'll let you play with different combinations of tags to delete, replace, or amend. For instance, I wanted to separate my community OC tags from just "other's ocs" and organize them by fandom: with this tool, I was able to search for posts that had both "g: cyberpunk 2077" and "other's ocs" and then I could replace those tags with "g: cyberpunk 2077" and "ocs: cyberpunk 2077" without replacing all the posts that also had "other's ocs."

Xkit Rewritten & New Xkit Browser Extensions These are increasingly less reliable without regular updates, and you can't even get New Xkit on some browsers right now because it's been flagged as a security risk (so obviously, use it with caution). Xkit Rewritten has a mass private tool for posts, and New Xkit adds a tag search in the native mass post editor--It's pretty glitchy and limited, but it helps.

And I'm just gonna drop some deets under the cut about my housekeeping because it's interesting to me:

I made this blog in March 2016; it was my 3rd or 4th account remake since first joining Tumblr in 2010.

(Tangent: 2 of my remakes in 2013 and 2015 were actually because I didn't like having as many followers as I had, lmao. This account has well surpassed those numbers, but Tumblr doesn't have as many active users as it used to, so it doesn't feel as daunting.)

I did not record the exact number of posts I had before I started purging, but it was around 25,000.

It's now down to 16,947!

Most of the stuff I deleted were TV and movie gifsets and non-fandom artwork, but I also purged a lot of fandom posts that no longer sparked joy. I did get a little overwhelmed for some months because there were so many posts and I know I probably removed stuff I would have preferred to keep.

Although seeing some stuff brought on Bad Feels, I also got a huge surge of inspiration diving through my archive, which is great, because that's exactly what I want out of my space.

Cyberpunk OCs absolutely dominated my OC tag--I ended with about 2700 posts for other folks' CP77 OCs. Dragon Age was next with about 800 posts.

One thing I would like to be more conscious of is minimizing reblogging art from "curator" blogs and finding more artists who are actively posting on Tumblr to support. I don't mind the curation blogs as long as they're sourcing the artist, but I'd just rather give love to the folks who are actually here.

My quietest year was 2019, likely due to a combination of a lot of people leaving after the great tiddy purge and getting more into Twitch and by extension Twitter.

April 2019 was my quietest month, which had 3 posts!!!! 3 posts!!! I post like 4x that amount in a day, lmao.

The Outer Worlds coming out at the end of 2019 brought me out of my semi-hiatus.

Not sure exactly what was my most active year/month, but I'd guess either 2022 or 2023. I do vaguely remember going from about 8000 posts in the middle of 2021 to feeling like that practically doubled by 2022. Cyberpunk really got me using this space again (to the point of my own mental and emotional detriment in some cases, but I got better, lmao).

[susivoi]

Made a Triffany Lotablog Grayscale Color Pallette drawing!

I spin a wheel of my current hyperfixations, turn my device's display to grayscale, pick a random color pallette (this one I made sure had some green in it by adding "green" into my search), and draw! Using the color pallette for the entire drawing including lineart! The only thing I didn't use it for was the eye shine but that was due to lack of colors. I plan to make more of these cuz they are really fun!

[gods-perfect-idiots]

something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something

anyway here's the post btw

[puhpandas]

as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out

I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it

it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2

[megumi-fm]

.

[tree-of-olives]

making disney’s twisted wonderland bracelets!! (the sebek one has a heart charm on it because it’s for my little sister who really likes him)

closeup on lilia’s star charm under the cut because i like it BUT IT WONT STAY DOWN

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

[running-in-the-dark]

I've got a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. mostly to discuss if the new sleep medication is working. it is.. not? I don't know. it sorta makes me stay asleep better but tbh that only really means it's even more impossible to wake up when I need to.

idk at this point I'm getting close to just saying you know what? thank you for trying to help, mr. nice old psychiatrist guy, but let's just give up! who needs sleep anyway (me, like 12-16 hours a day). I'm just not gonna do it anymore! that sounds more doable than ever figuring out how to sleep normally!!

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[danielnelsen]

the whole time i’ve been converting the da2 conversations i’ve been worrying about follower_banter.cnv because it’s the largest file BY FAR and i was able to do it successfully but google sheets really wasn’t a fan of working with a 94,000 row file

[the-kipsabian]

.