#The life of Theseus

[athamad]

Theseus and women

Theseus is one of the most hated characters in Greek mythology on the internet and l wanted defend him because l love him and he's clearly, VERY clearly misunderstood. Now, by misunderstood l don't mean, "Oh, his father wasn't around so he was traumatized," l mean he is always characterized as this misogynist egoist man who everybody loves just because he's a MAN™, which isn't true at all. I'm not going to explain why l love him directly in this post but I'm just going to explain why people misinterpret his relationship with women, because other than his "misstreatment" of women, he's literally just a guy.

Theseus and Amphitrite

Like, look at him! He's just a boy! Anyways, let's start with the obvious reason he gets hate.

Ariadne

We all know the story of him leaving her behind and then Dionysus finds her yada yada. We don't know why he does this, some people say that he's just a jerk and did this dick move because he wanted to but l beg to differ. Many modern-day writers tried to explain this abandonment, though most of them just painted Theseus as a jerk like leaving her because she was annoying or like what l said, just because he's a dick. I was researching how authors reasoned him for his abandonment and guess what THERE ARE SOURCES ARE EXPLAINING HIS ACTION, 1) She was killed by Artemis, this is not a well-known one but it is an explanation of him leaving Ariadne behind, Ariadne was killed by Artemis while she was giving birth to his sons, l couldn't find a reason on why she did it but this is a reason, 2) Dionysus demanded him to leave her because he wanted her, some sources say this and even say that the reason Theseus forgot to change his sails was that he was sad about leaving Ariadne behind, now, does this mean he's an angel, no because some sources do say 3) Theseus willingly leaving her behind, however, they all give a different explanation. A reason l like comes from the book "The king must die" where Ariadne is participating in a human sacrificial ritual and Theseus doesn't like that because it reminds him of Medea or something. I don't know l just read it while researching l didn't read the book but l like it, Ariadne being all crazy and that because it would explain why she's great with Dionysus and her parents are both very cold people, one being a goddess and one being... Minos. I heard there are versions where Athena tells him to leave her but l couldn't find them so that could have been added very later. Now, what version do l see as the truth? None. I like the version my brother suggested, which is "He forgot,". HE FORGOT, HES FORGETFUL, AND HE ALSO FORGETS TO CHANGE THE SAILS. I like it so much because HES LITERALLY JUST A GUY. But, in all seriousness, you can dislike Theseus for leaving Ariadne behind since there are sources that say he left her willingly but check the other versions too.

Theseus, Athena, Dionysus, and Ariadne.

Now that that's out of the way, let's see any other reason Theseus gets hate that involves yet another woman! Which is...

Helen

There is a myth that Helen is kidnapped by Theseus... That's it. So, for context (even though everyone knows it already) Theseus and his "best bud" (wink, wink) Pirithous are both demigods, Theseus being Poseidon's son and Pirithous Zeus's. Since they both have divine blood, they conclude that they will marry one of Zeus's daughters, Theseus picks Helen and Pirithous picks Persephone (like an idiot). They abduct Helen, yada yada, try to abduct Persephone but fail miserably, yada yada. And people dislike him because... he kidnapped Helen, yeah, okay, let's break this down. Kidnapping women was a very well-known thing in ancient Greece, was it acknowledged it was bad? Yes. But was it still there? Also yes. But this isn't about lust, Theseus kidnaps Helen because she is Zeus's daughter and he thinks he deserves at least a demi-god because he is one too. Can this be considered hubris? Yes, it can, and in my opinion, it is. Theseus has done very heroic stuff and wants something in return, he thinks that a mortal wife is too little for him so he picks what he thinks is the best thing for him, a wife whose father is Zeus. He doesn't do this as an act of lust, just hubris, and maybe for reputation, since Helen is the most beautiful woman, having the most beautiful woman as a wife is a thing to be proud of. But that doesn't mean Theseus gets what he wants immediately, because Helen is young, very young. He even acknowledges that as an Athenian, which is okay to marry a 14-year-old girl, but Helen is younger. Sources change her age from 9 to 12, but the point is, she's too young. So, Theseus decides he'll wait and gives her to his mother in the meantime. When he gets rescued by Heracles, he faces consequences, which is learning his mother is now a slave to Castor and Pollux. This is what l like about him too, he's a king, a hero, yet faces consequences more than anyone. Even if he doesn't, when he does bad things to another, bad things happen to him later, Karma bites him in the ass, and in my opinion making a character face consequences is the best way to make them feel human and relatable. Theseus isn't the only one, every mortal in Greek mythology are human-like character to me because they face consequences! Heracles, Achilles, Agamemnon, Odysseus, Bellerophon, and many more make bad choices, face the consequences, and acknowledge them! Theseus kidnapping Helen is a bad thing, yes, but he didn't even touch her because she was a child and his mother got taken away in the end.

Theseus taking away Helen

So yeah, this is it. I was going to go into more detail about his relationship with women since there are women he helps and respects but this is all for now. If l made any mistakes, please let me know without sounding rude, l can take constructive criticism. Anyways, have a good day!

(@coloricioso was the one who asked me to explain my Theseus obsession, so here it is!)

[trek-tracks]

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

[stump-not-found]

finally got lines for the last two pages . enjoy a preview

[theseusmcalt]

jimmy's third life is so special he cares abt scott so much :')

jimmy : you're so good at building !!

scott, self deprecatingly : i had to be good at something

jimmy, immediately : HEY. *equips his sword* you're good at everything. >:C

[maeo-png]

Of course it's fucking THESEUS

okay. i havent shut up about the greek myth aspects of Simon's story and i wont stop now. At first it was a statue of Persephone in the garden, with it's head replaced to be Betty, giving the implication that Betty is the Persephone to Simon's Hades, and it was Simon's status as an antiquarian. and now we've gotten Simon being a huge nerd and bringing up Theseus completely unprompted (so real)

a bit of context in case you need it, Theseus was one of those greek "legendary Heroes" (Achilles, Heracles, etc.), and previously King of Athens, but had managed to dodge most bad things that happen to Greek heroes. he was just stupid and i guess they took pity on him.

The Ship of Theseus or "Theseus' Paradox", which I'd imagine all of tumblr knows by now, but if you don't, is the question on whether if a ship, specifically Theseus', is still the same ship after having all of its parts replaced exactly. To me this makes for such an obvious connection to Simon. Simon's story factors around identity, first and foremost. (yknow. "I Remember You" and all that?) The concept of not knowing what you are fundamentally was originally Ice King's thing, as his previous life as Simon was essentially history. But now that's being brought to Simon. and Simon has the lucidity to process what that means for him.

[melodyartist-blog]

ıııııuuhhhhuhuhhheheaha Theseus mayybbee.. just a lil doodle tho u dont have to make it a masterpiece like others(LIKE PREGNANT AGAMEMNON FOR EXAMPLE🥵🔥🔥💥💥

Ah yes, my least favourite hero and worst douche in all of Athens, Theseus.

(I love beating his ass in Hades)

[nondelphic]

if i revise a draft so many times that it’s almost unrecognizable from the original, is it still the same story, or have i created a completely new narrative?

[nevermeanttoknow]

chonny when I get you. when I get you chonnathan

[ep2nd]

I have to say, Hippolytus has become one of my favorite myths/Greek heroes, and not just cause we're both AroAces... mostly

Now the basic story is- Man just wants to live his best hunting life with the goddess Artemis without any relationships and then Aphrodite goddess of Love looks at that and goes "HOW DARETH NOT SHIPPETH" and eventually causes his death by his own father... which tumbles into Asclepius death and Apollo turning human... again

Well here's some things I'd like to say that should be talked about more, some headcannos some retelling some filling in blanks

Hippolytus is a PRINCE OF ATHENS. Heck he's Theseus' son. THE Theseus. He probably still had expectations and a job to do as a prince. It wouldn't surprise me if suitors tried to get him married. Like, men from across Greece would LOVE to have their daughter we'd to this guy, the prince of Athens! Think of the power and stability. Think of the stories where Hippolytus just runs into the woods because he hate she responsibilities and doesn't want to get married. And his dad probably forcing him to choose! WHERES THAT.

Let's remember the maternal side of his family. Aka the badass warrior Hippolyta, THE QUEEN OF THE AMAZONS AND DAUGTER OF THE GOD OF WAR AND THE FOUNDER OF THE AMAZONS. I know Amazon's don't like men, but as shown with Hippolyta with Theseus and later Heracles, she still respects strong men. I believe his mom LOVED him, despite being male. Was so proud and adored him, teaching her son the Amazonian ways. Not to say that his grandmother, Otrera was probably still alive. Probably didn't like men like her daughter, but could respect her strong grandson, ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HE JOINED ARTEMIS HUNT. YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE 2 MAIN GODS OF THE AMAZONS. Aka I want to see how Hippolyta and Otrera felt about him.

Now depending on the myth, Hippolyta can be related to 1 to 3 gods. Aka he has the highest record of a Legacy... I think. His grandfather's are Poseidon(Theseus dad)and Ares(Hippolytas dad) and with a stretch, cause I like this Headcannon, his great grandfather is Eurus (Otrera dad, God of Fall and the East wind). So is no one going to talk about how this man is related to 2 powerful Olympians, one of the Wind gods, a descendent of the Amazonians, fierce women warriors, and the son of Theseus, the slayer of the Minotaur????? OH AND HES LIKE THE ONE OF THE FEW MEN ARTEMIS EVER LIKED. THE ARTEMIS. If Ancient Greece had resumes he'd be winning

Talking bout Artemis... it's hard to believe after the Orion incident...which I don't think is too far apart... that Artemis, who befriended a male, giving him a chance, and then him becoming feral and destroying wild life, her sacred place/animals/domain, or falling in love with her, aka the ONE THING YOU DOMT DO. So for Artemis to just get another guy to join the girls only clun.. yeah there was probably a deeper reason and relationship under that. I feel like she met him when he was young, after him running into the woods night hating the royal life, and he helps some girl, probably one of her Huntresses, gets her attention, and they talk about Hunting and hating love, you know fun stuff. I feel like she kinda raised him, teaching him hunting, the importance of life, respecting women, hating love... aka a mom figure(because I'm pretty sure Hippolyta was running the Amazon's and couldn't bring her son with her) so yeah. I believe they had a mother-son relationship. It makes sense it's adorable it also explains how far Artemis would go to bring him back to life. KNOWING THERE WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES. Bruh she didn't even try to resurrect Orion. Just saying a mother's love is very strong.

On that note... I feel like Asclepius and he actually knew each other. 1. Asclepius is nice guy but not dumb, he wouldn't just be handing this cure to death to anyone. Now Artemis could have threatened him but that's whatever. In retrospec, they're kinda cousins, and I feel like they had a nice relationship before his death. ALSO. CAN YOU THINK OF THE ANGST?!? How much guilt Hippolytus would be feeling after. HES THE REASON ASCLEPIUS DIED. YEAH HE DIDN’T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS BUT HIS COUSIN DIED BECAUSE OF HIM. I want those two to reunite and Asclepius to hug him and tell him everything's okay and it worked out cause now he'll help people forever as a god.

Finally. No, he wouldn't forgive his farther. Probably already hates him after, leaving his mom, being a horrible king, not understanding his wished for not wanting to get married, not believing HIS OWN SON OVER HIS NEW WIFE, OH AND KILLING HIM. I want the Hippolyta, Hippolytus, Ariadne, and Zagreus "WE HATE THESEUS" club. Please. It be hilarious. On the topic of Hades game- YES I WANNA SEE HIPPOLYTUS MAYBE HANGING OUT WITH HIS DEAD MOM PELASEEEEW.

[sheraayasher]

ok i have fallen under the rabbit hole of ideas for the fantastic beast series so here's a few more: (@keepmeinmind-01 hi do you want to hear them out? 👉🏼👈🏼)

i realllyyyyyy just want a fic where jacob, queenie, tina and newt are vibing like idk talking about anything and everything. maybe jacob tells them about the muggle stuff and they tell about the magic stuff and they also get to know how different it is in america vs britain.. yk like the deleted scene where queenie and tina were singing a song? yeah just them talking to each other idk

queenie and jacob's wedding. i need the deets. who helped queenie pick the dress? who proposed? who helped jacob with his suit? what were the vows? who teased the newly weds the most? idk just the wedding and the process.

theseus and newt's bonding. how awkward was it? how did they take it forward after the SOD? does newt talk to theseus about tina? does he speak advice from him? does theseus get irritated whenever tina comes up as a conversation topic or is he very open about being so happy for his little brother finally finding the one? does he tease newt in front of tina so that newt blushes and gets red?

queenie and tina's bonding. for so long they only had each other. but now they have jacob and newt respectively to also support them and be there for them. do they talk about all this? deep conversations between queenie and tina.

does the SOD gang (bunty, lally, jacob, theseus, newt, queenie and tina) have monthly dinners/lunches? or do they plan monthly outings/trips?

a fic about the dynamics of jacob and queenie and tina and newt's relationships. like how different/similar/weird are those two couples?

i picture lally as a lesbian idk why so maybe a fic about lally meeting the love of her life: fem!reader.

since tina has become the head auror of the american ministry of magic and theseus is the british head auror.. do they meet often due to work? how is their dynamic? and do they talk about their common link: newt? does theseus give the "hurt my brother and i will hurt you" talk to tina? or has he already accepted tina into the family like the hufflepuff he is?

additionally, has tina given the "hurt my sister and i will hurt you" talk to jacob? has newt come to jacob's rescue? did tina and newt jokingly get into argument about this because who's side is newt "i dont do sides" scamander on: his girlfriend or his best friend?

i basically want slice of life!au(s) lmao

[lightningbig]

rambling continued from the tags on this post

thinking about a world where the kaminoans are able to bend death. well enough that the clones become effectively immortal. even when they die they don't, really. they will gasp awake again, always, a never ending cycle of life and breath and violence. they will bleed and they will fall apart but they will knit back together with enough time. they will not succumb to any wounds, not permanently.

this not even being questioned by the clones. its all they've ever known. its how they've been raised. brothers don't die, they sleep and come back. brothers don't die, they bleed and then they get better. brothers don't die, even when they're missing limbs, even when they change in irrevocable ways. the kaminoans have created an army that cannot be bested by mortality. they've created something infinite.

the first time they know death is when one of the trainers washes up, blue and bloated and half eaten by the marine life at the bottom of the sea. they'd been punishing brothers for increasingly mundane reasons in increasingly harsh ways, so they were given a taste of their own medicine. only, trainers don't come back. trainers don't get better. trainers don't live, despite it all.

the jedi, too, are mortal things. things that can die. things that get hurt and don't always heal. things that can benefit from exploiting brothers, from putting a clone in the way of a fatal shot any day.

some of them do. its whats expected. most of them don't. the clones don't understand. brothers dont die, don't they know?

[catenasmeasamisi]

Theseus Abandons Ariadne, 11.19.24

[stump-not-found]

Recently, I was going back through TBOB for... normal, non-Billford related reasons (nailed it), and I came across that little Q&A Bill did.

When the reader asks if Ford was only a tool to Bill, he chooses to use a hammer as the example tool of choice.

Was Ford's Alias in Theseus' Guide a reference to this in any way?

it is! in particular, i was inspired by this exchange from thisisnotawebsitedotcom:

[dawnpix]

If butterfly reign doesn't end with Theseus punching Phil and running away to be a pirate with business bay I have wasted over 2 years of my life on a fanfiction for a fandom I no longer care about /j

[leche-flandom]

Okay so my mom gave my daughter some books she got from the flea market. Considering how my mom let us watch a ton of inappropriate movies and shows when we were kids, I probably should've checked them before I let my daughter pick one for her bedtime story tonight, but hindsight is hindy and sighty.

Anyway, I couldn't stop giggling when I read her the story about Theseus because this is the most UNHINGED MINOTAUR I HAVE EVER SEEN

First of all, Theseus reminds me of both the knifer and the knifee from that wikiHow "Winning a Fair Fight" meme. Second of all, I know that Ovid described him as "part man, part bull" so this is technically correct, but... wowzers.

Eh, it was either this or a short story about Grendel's bone-crunching ass.

[brimo5]

Dionysus: (holding hands) I had a wonderful day with you. Look over there, Someone's been sitting with his boyfriend all day, as lovely as us. Herakles: It's f*cking Theseus and Pirithous. I can tell by that thiny ass. Dionysus: (suddenly letting go of his hand and quickly walking away) I think I need some space now.