#The irony of posting this the day my period started-

[skellseerwriting]

5 Times Iida Thinks You’re a Boy and 1 Time He Finally Realizes

Oblivious!Iida x Fem!Androgynous!Reader

Part 2

Part 3: Period + Nails

Word Count: 400

Content & Warnings: Responsible use of non-specified pain medicine for its intended purpose, slight inference at Iida thinking boys shouldn’t wear nail polish, mentions of periods, Iida is a otherwise a gentleman

Summary: The festival has already passed, and you’re chatting with Mina. Iida joins in on a conversation he has no clue about

“Ughhh…” you groaned with your body draped over the front of your desk. “I ache…”

“I knowww.” Mina responded next to you. “The festival was tough.”

You chuckled to yourself. “That too.”

“Oh?” She propped her face up with an elbow. “What else has got you aching?”

Blowing some hair out of your face, you revealed to her your blight. “Cramps”.

“Oooh.” She winced.

“Yep.” You popped the p, still laying half your body on your desk like a tired cat. “It’s shark week.”

“Shark week?” Iida inquired blankly. “What is that?”

Looking up from your physical and literal pool of pain, you saw your class rep standing near you and Mina. Your eyes upturned and your lip curled in amusement at his obliviousness. “You’re cute.”

Blinking, he looked taken aback at your choice of words, then turned back to the bag in his hold that he was currently rummaging through. Digging something out, he handed it to you.

“I have some pain medicine if it will help.”

The corners of your eyes crinkled. “Thank you.” You said while taking it from him and grabbing a pill from the tiny container.

“I always carry some on me.” He said matter-of-factly. “In approximately four hours I shall ask if you need any more.”

Smiling even more at his disposition, you were almost able to ignore the way Mina moved her eyebrows up and down at you.

Pointedly ignoring her and tipping your head back to pop the pill in your mouth, you downed it with some help from your water bottle. Your attention returned to seeing Iida staring at your hand. Confused, you examined it for a few moments, then looked at him as if to ask what was wrong.

“You’re wearing black nail polish.” He said blankly. Wow what a neat observation.

Taking advantage of his attention, you decided to tease him and wiggled your fingers. “Want me to do yours?”

He looked affronted and took a step back. “No, thank you.”

Always the gentleman.

“Well.” You stood up, placing your hands on your desk as you felt the placebo of the pain medicine kicking in. “I’m going to use the restroom before class starts.”

Hearing no one oppose to such a statement, you shoed your chair back and walked out. Behind you, you could have sworn you heard Mina asking Iida “what’s your type?” with a girlish glee only she had the capacity to hold.

Part 4

Tagist: Tenya Iida

@electronicexpertshark @ragdol-666

[mikefrawley]

Okay Where's Mike...

and what have you done with him? Blushes angelically and sends love to all of his dear friends. I hope this perfect day finds each of you well. As for the rather interesting intro, I've recently realized that 2024, this far at least has easilly been one of the best years of my life. It's been at least 30 years or more since any other year has even come close. Many of you may remember my very positive be kind to you posts fom earler this year, and perhaps surprisingly these thoughts were actually the offspring of some pretty dark times. I practically slept through 2023 and was mostly depressed any time I was awake. I basically quit, but I'm guessing there must be something out there who listens to our sorrows and by some miracle actually has us spiritually grow through them. Beginning around December things finally got so painful that I had to do something or else! Finally in desperation I found a therapist and a psychiatrist who got me started. It wasn't easy or even fun, but I began with baby steps and while I fell down several times, I slowly began making progress. In the greatest case of irony I could ever think up, my wonderful year includes getting fired from my job of almost 21 years right after my birthday, and to be totally honest, it certainly did not feel even remotely like a good thing at the time. Anyway and thankfully, after a couple of weeks, slowly but surely things started working out. I really had not enjoyed my job for at least the past two years, and after accepting my retirement as a fact, I began enjoying it and even started tackling many challenges which I would never have had the courage to attempt before. I hope everyone out there is already aware of this truth, but if not, it's truly amazazing what we can do when it's a necessity, or when we set our minds and hearts to succeeding. Now as for my most interesting title, many of my past 20 plus years have not been terribly pleasant, and while I've no wish to complain at this moment, I have not been very positive very often over this period of time. It's so amazing to feel as happy and optimistic as I have over much of this year. Along with the fact that I actually leave my house on a regular basis, my friends are all very pleasantly surprised, and truthfully so am I. Aside from wanting to share a little gratitude, I'm also hoping this might be at least a small light for someone who is still seemingly hopelessly lost in their own darkness. Please believe me, if I can finally do this at the age of 66, you most certainly can! Love to all, Mike 💕

[dollmaidcrystal]

During a period when Mistress was too focused on work to play with her submissives, I became too tight for her to comfortably fit two fingers into. As punishment, I've been assigned to train on the Motorbunny Buck, Mistress's fucking machine of choice, daily for a month.

Day 1: Is this supposed to be a punishment? This doesn't seem like a punishment at all.

Day 2: I'm already tired of having to run an extra load on the dishwasher every day, since it has the all-important "Sanitize" cycle for cleaning up the Motorbunny attachments.

Day 3: Daily training is starting to pay off. That last session felt good. Really good.

Day 4: Riding the fucking machine is not the punishment, it's having to clean up afterwards every day. I asked Mistress if I could have permission to move the Motorbunny to next to the guest showers. (She said no.)

Day 5: Barely avoided disaster today. I forgot to lock up the door to the dungeon when the municipal water inspector came by to look around the basement. Fortunately, I spotted my mistake while he was still taking his boots off upstairs.

Day 6: Skip day. Mistress was home from work, and she called "dibs".

Day 7: Experimented more with the higher vibration settings today and probably overdid it. I’m going to have to take it easy for the next few days while my poor sissy booty heals.

Day 8: Switched from the spiral dildo to the precision probe. Today's training consists of trying to find exactly where all of my spots are.

Day 9: Skip day. I had a doctor's appointment. Real life takes priority!

Day 10: To make up for skipping a day, I switched to the larger Doc Johnson attachment. It was too large to ride, so I had to use the vertical wedge stand to be taken from behind. Taking something that large felt sooo good.

Day 11: Oh crap. While moving the Motorbunny back upright, I heard a crack. The plastic casing of the adapter plug cracked in half. I jury rigged back together (with some scary sparks!), but that is going to be a problem.

Day 12: A warranty replacement for the adapter is already on its way. I am more impressed by the customer service than how good I felt after today's session.

Day 13: Skip day. Mistress came home from work early because she was feeling sick. My time was spent taking care of her and lecturing her about the importance of diet and daily exercise. Writing this down in my punishment journal, I'm glad she was too sick to notice the irony.

Day 14: After some experimentation, the Motorbunny hits my spots best if I’m leaning all the way forward or arching backwards. I'm pretty sure I should stick to arching back in photosets.

Day 15: Mistress is still sick, which makes these daily training sessions extra hard. When she's healthy, I know that riding the fucking machine is a warmup for being played with later, but now I know it's going to leave me extra frustrated for the rest of the day.

Day 16: I’m starting to crave something in my mouth during these daily rides. I’m not sure how to deal with that. Maybe I should bring a box of Triscuits to the dungeon tomorrow? Will that work?

Day 17: Bringing a ball gag down to the dungeon definitely helps with my oral cravings, but I feel kind of silly doing it. It doesn’t help that 🐶 is staring at me like he’s judging my technique at chewing a ball. "Bloody amateur can't even keep in in her mouth without a safety strap."

Day 18: Mistress had some time to personally supervise my training today. The splash image on this post comes from this session.

Day 19: The warranty replacement adapter just arrived! I think I'll leave the broken one in place and keep the new one as a backup. I said it once, and I'll say it again: I am seriously impressed by the level of customer service Motorbunny has.

Day 20: Pondering upgrades to the Motorbunny using the Bondage Erector Set. Reflective Desires has so many ideas that I want to steal.

Day 21: The cursed LureVibe fucking bear is now making the rounds. I wonder if I should upgrade from Motorbunny to Motorbear. https://lurevibe.com/products/doll-automatic-thrusting-vibrating-swing-machine-female-masturbation-device

Day 22: Mistress is upset that most of the pictures she took makes me look hunchbacked. I need to find a way to ride the Motorbunny that's more photogenic, apparently.

Day 23: Gross! I accidentally put another layer of condom and lube on the attachment and didn’t peel it off before washing. Now I have a layer of cooked on dry lube to scrub off my dildo.

Day 24: I can't figure out how to advance my training. Mistress wants me to train to be penetrated at a wider variety of angles (instead of the one that feels really, really good but looks awful on camera). What even is the best to train for that? Wiggle around on the dildo every day?

Day 25: Following a friend’s advice, I’m trying yoga on the Motorbunny to improve my range of positions. This is a weird experience, and not just because of how hard it is to hold a stretch while being fucked.

Day 26: Skip day. After Pride Weekend, I can't move.

Day 27: Flexibility training continues. I’ve learned I’m not going to be able to move which spots feel good, but I can move the rest of my body. Biggest bang for my buck seems to be in getting more dramatic back arches, followed by working on my range of leg motion.

Day 28: Taking a break from trying to improve my form. Instead, I'm putting in the thickest attachment I can handle and enjoying the ride.

Day 29: I'm putting off today's training to edit and post this punishment journal. I'm hitting post now so I can get back to training.

[falmerbrook]

Snow Elf culture?

*pulls up a chair*

Perhaps...

A wee disclaimer that I'm not particularly good or creative with developing cultures or societies, but my brain has just latched on to the snow elves in a way where I can't stop myself. But anyway

I developed a lot of this because of a big ass draft for a fic I've been writing on and off about Gelebor and Vyrthur, so a lot of my headcanons are religion heavy. I'll start there:

Gelebor seems to place Auri-El and the Chantry of Auri-El as having significant importance to the Snow Elves over the other gods/temples. He's probably got a bit of bias in that regard since he's devoted his life to Auri-El, but in order to differentiate their religion from the other elven ones I like to think that their religion in general worshipped Auri-El as not even just as the figure head of their pantheon, but almost monotheistical, while the other gods (Trinimac, Syrabane, Jephre and Phynaster according to Gelebor) were like minor divine figures or just legendary heroes even more than in Altmer myth, depending on the interpretation. My idea is that if their culture had been allowed to continue on, it would've eventually become monotheistic, but by the arrival of the Nords they were in a bit of an awkward transition period with it.

I also like to lean into the sun motif with Auri-El that they established in Dawnguard and with Auriel's Bow, partially because it's another thing to make their depiction of him more unique, and in part because it makes some very juicy irony for Vyrthur. Some ideas include:

- The more religious folk tend to pray at noon when the sun is at it's highest. - The two biggest snow elf festivals happen on the summer and winter solstices. As far north as they are, the summer solstice is during a time of year where the sun barely sets and the winter one is during a time of year where it barely rises. The summer one is more jovial and celebratory, with a grand feast. With almost 24 hours of daylight, the festivities last up to three days straight, with folks commonly staying awake for over 24 hours. Most of it is spent outside, with the celebration being focused on making the most of the weather and daylight hours to spend as much time in the sun and the light of Auri-El as possible. The winter festival is as large scale but lasts longer and is lower-key. It also involves a feast but features more winter foods and meat and alcohol. It is more pensive. At this point in the year, there is no full daylight, and so this season is seen as a test of one’s faith and mental fortitude. This festival acts as a break from this trying time, taking time to relax, build community (a strong community will allow them to make it through the winter and strengthen their minds), and bond with family and friends. It is about a weeklong break, where leading up to the festival everyone works harder to prepare for it and allow themselves to have the break. There are activities and festivities, but they remain indoors for the most part and are smaller. - I've referenced this before, but with long winters with little sunlight (due to harsh weather and short days), they see that time of year as a reflective test of will and faith.

Due to their proximity to dragons, it was hard to miss the connection between Auri-El (/Akatosh) and dragons, and so their depiction of Auri-El is either much more influenced by the iconography of dragons, or is a dragon (although their depiction of dragon Auri-El is much more benevolent than the Nord/Atmoran one). I got the idea for this one from this Reddit post (i know I dog on Reddit a lot but this one has got some fun stuff in it, even if it's a bit out there)

^On that note, later in the timeline (post Dragon War (the timeline is very fuzzy on when this and the Night of Tear happens. They are both sometime vaguely in the late Merethic Era I believe, but it's unclear which happens first or how long each conflict is)) some Snow Elves see a sort of unreturned, unofficial comradery with dragons, seeing themselves as both on the receiving end of the Nord's/Atmoran's brutality (disregarding whether it was warranted or not in the context of the Dragon War).

Ok here's some more general cultural ones:

I mentioned my reasoning for this in this post, but I like to think their general settlements were not as permanent, with a larger focus on wood and building into the sides of hills (good for warmth), while their temples tended to be made of stone and much more permanent. This is why there are so few identifiable Snow Elf ruins across Skyrim. Their cities and towns were easy to wipe out, scavenged for resources, or were in good places for Nordic cities (perhaps Bromjunaar was originally the site of a Snow Elf city?), and their temples were either very hidden (e.g. the Chantry of Auri-El) or eventually converted to Nordic temples.

I love this journal in general for gleaning ideas for Snow Elf headcanons for, but one interesting this is the use of "Old Ones" and "Young One". They're treated like established titles. From that I like to think they place a lot of emphasis on the respect of those older than you. The social hierarchy and whose opinions are most valued is heavily influenced by age. Folks call anyone older or more revered “Old Ones” as a term of respect, and anyone younger than them “Young Ones”. Old One is almost never used in a demeaning way, but Young One can be (not always). Typically, “Old Ones” is used in the third person (e.g. you wouldn’t refer to someone directly as “old one”) whole “Young One(s)” can be used as an epithet for someone directly or in third person.

When thinking about death/"burial" customs (needed for some scenes in the fic I'm planning), you have to consider that there probably wasn't a lot of land in a place like Skyrim where someone can be buried. Nords intern their dead in crypts or burn them to get around this, and I like to think Snow Elves participated in something akin to sky burials (at least sometimes). After preparation, the departed's body is left outside on a ledge, cliff, or the temple balcony to be scavenged by birds. This is seen as a metaphorical return to Aetherius, while their soul literally returns to it. They do this even in poor weather or deep winter. If it doesn’t thaw and rot/be scavenged until months later, so be it. The length it takes to rot is considered indicative of how long it takes for the spirit to let go and move on (not in a bad way though. It’s interpreted more in the way of the soul or body grieving). It's seen as if they may wish to wait until spring to finally rot if they want to experience one more warm, sunny day.

Food (I mostly wrote this in my notes in the context of the Forgotten Vale and Chantry of Auri-El, but I think it could work elsewhere as well to an extent): Plant-based food is grown in gardens in the spring and summer, and that that is able to be stored is carefully preserved through the fall and winter. Winter foods include some nuts, dried vegetables, and dried and preserved/fermented grains (like wheat, barely). These foods must be eaten slowly throughout the winter to last, and winter diets are more meat based. Summer foods include apples, cabbage/lettuce, leeks, tomatoes etc. Snowberries can be found in the wild out of season of most other fruits, and provide fruit in very early spring. Occasionally, fungus from caves is harvested, but this is seen as a delicacy (foreshadowing).

Ok, that's it for now. I gotta go to bed. Thanks for the ask!!!! :D

[indelen]

This is my reread of the Lockwood and Co. Books, organized by @blue-boxes-magic-and-tea , I'll make a general summary of several chapters and then post bits and pieces that jumped out at me.

Part IV: Chapters 19-21

There is something to be said about how effectively the book builds tension. We spend so much time before the night actually starts and the trio gets to the actual haunting. The time on the train. The time walking around the grounds. The time listening to Fairfax bloviate. And the entire time the sun is going down and the tension builds and builds. You hate Fairfax more and more. You hate the house and its ugly tapestries and fancy uncomfortable furniture. You understand how dangerous this job is and how little the person who hired these kids values life. It’s very effective. By the time we get to the actual Red Room we’re already on edge. And this is something that’s kind of hard to build in a TV show. You’ll lose momentum if it’s stretched over a period of several episodes and what’s effective on the page is harder to translate on screen. But if you cram everything into one episode the tension never builds in a satisfying way. I personally would have loved to see a two parter with one episode before going into the Red Room, one after and one additional lighthearted intermission one where the fallout is discussed and the audience gets a breather before heading into Whispering Skull. But that’s just not the way TV is made these days.

Bits and pieces:

I love how subtly the books reveal more and more about The Problem. The Screaming Staircase is very much an introduction but even here we see the beginning of the overarching plot. Not only are there ghosts and the world sucks because of them, but in really bad hauntings you get a sort of psychic cascade where the Visitors feed off each other’s power and create one psychically volatile place. We will later learn that Lucy is, in a way, more right than she realizes when she says “The house was just a gate”. From here every book builds on this idea. The Whispering Skull shows us humans have been trying to manufacture this kind of effect on purpose since way before The Problem. The Hollow Boy shows us it’s being done still. Creeping Shadow shows to what end. Final book pulls all these threads together. As much as I would have loved more books with more adventures and pining, thematically the five books complete the story in a very satisfying way. The overall plot is revealed gradually but effectively to its natural resolution.

Truly art worth preserving at the cost of multiple human lives. Trio should have definitely set this one on fire. As a treat.

Fairfax is the most “peaked in highschool” man ever. This is an 80 year old man, one of the richest and most powerful people in the country, he lived a whole life in the best and most privileged possible way. And yet he still returns to and mythologizes and obsesses over his past. He devises this whole plan when in all likelihood it’s not necessary. Even if some kids do have some necklace that has some initials in it, DEPRAC jumps when he claps! You can’t tell me he doesn't have enough money and influence to make all this go away! But he pulls this overcomplicated plan anyway because he just can’t bear the romantic image of his youthful self being diminished. I mentioned before that Lockwood’s love of disguises and theatrical accents is a bit much because it’s a childlike quality, an endearing one in a kid but one he learns to temper with age. He grows up. Fairfax never does and it ruins him. This is a recurring theme in these books - powerful adults addicted to the image they built for themselves in their youth so much they throw a tantrum when it’s threatened and this undoes them.

There is a great irony in Fairfax saying this to Lockwood who is actually a hero suspended between life and death due to actual tragedies in his life. Fairfax cosplayed being an actor, he partied, had illicit affairs, committed crimes and then when he had his fun he put on a suit and went to run a multimillion corporation. He had the biggest, widest, sturdiest safety net imaginable. I wonder if he was even any good or if his position, money and influence in some ways paid for the recognition he received?

Love the double meaning here. Did Lucy mean “shut his trap” as in “shut his mouth” or did she, like Lockwood, already knew that this whole thing was a trap Fairfax lured them in from the beginning?

The redemption arc of The Coat!!!!!

I really do like how the book stresses the fact that Lockwood never really trusted Fairfax and seems to have a very low opinion of him but masked it well. Lockwood is extremely impassive but later when he meets other influential people who very much try to flatter him he’s just as cordial but emotionally closed off with them and it makes you think he probably doesn't like them or trust them either.

Love when Lockwood is being an absolute teenage bastard when some tries to corner him, it’s always so funny. Him casually stuffing toilet water covered plastic garbage into Fairfax’s priceless vase is up there.

The books very well sets up the levels of education the trio has. George is the most conventionally educated out of the three. Generally, when it comes to any kind of general information, there is very little he doesn't know. Lockwood seems to have a more haphazard piecemeal education, he’s aware of topics like history and anthropology, has a broad vocabulary, but there are gaps. Maybe at the start he went to a good school or had a tutor given the socioeconomic class he was born into (we know he had a nanny!), but he probably stopped his education when he started training as an agent although he kept reading his parents papers and other similar information to be close to them. Lucy meanwhile is shown to have the most gaps - she doesn't know what “ululation” means, in later books she mixes up “compliment” and “complement” and makes other mistakes like this as well. What I like is that the narrative never shames or punishes her for her lack of education (in-universe George does mock her in passing for it at the start of SS but never again even when they are at their most hostile and it’s certainly not a turn off for Lockwood at any point). Education is a basic necessity and it was adults who robbed her of it, failing her at every turn. (that she’s a girl matters here too, education for women is often more restricted). The books warn kids how easy it can be to strip away their basic human rights.

Why Lucy, that sounds dangerously like a compliment! I love the idea of George as an inverse sort of Clark Kent where his superhero mode comes when he puts on his glasses. George’s glasses are like Lockwood’s coat, a part of him, his weakness and his strength in equal measure.

Lucy describes Lockwood’s smile count: 9

[7grandmel]

Rip of the week: 08/07/2024

Riki Ricch

Season 4 Episode 2 Featured on: Summer-Colored Smiles ~ The SiIvaSummer All-Star Festival Collection

Ripped by Knay

While I've now settled into this new rhythm of posting pretty nicely, it has come with a bit of its own unexpected baggage. A big part of why I was hestitant to make this switch to weekly posts was the expectations of having each of these posts feel worth the 7-day wait, a sort of pressure that daily posts didn't really have. If I found a really simple but effective rip that I just enjoyed enough to want to share, akin to Imperial Touwer or kirby will never have drip *spits out cereal*, it felt fine to make a smaller-scale post about them - the big, significant-to-the-channel stuff would just be a few days away. But in starting this whole thing with The Legend of Cage: Staff Roll and giving each post more buildup, it started to feel like I was obligated to ONLY post about these insanely large-spanning parts of SiIvaGunner. Yet doing so would, of course, be ignoring part of the channel's core appeal - that rips of all kind, big, small, simple, complex, predictable, unpredictable, and everything inbetween, are all welcome so long as their quality comes from the heart. Today, we're scaling things back and talking about nothing but a single rip and its sheer vibes: Riki Ricch.

Or, well, I still think it might help to set the stage at least a little bit first. Hell, part of what even motivated me to start this blog, and to keep talking about SiIva's history in general, has been to get new fans to realize that the channel has a stage to set to begin with. Each season of the channel, and many times periods within said seasons, come with their own sort of vibe: be it the chaos of Season 1, the lower, more tense energy of Season 6, or the ongoing pure Silliness of Season 8. Uniquely with Season 4, things were split into two halves - the sheer excitement and magnitude of Episode 1 driven by the King for Another Day Tournament and its extensive pre-release period, followed by a somewhat more laid-back vibe, of gleeful celebration, in Episode 2. The tournament was over! Everyone, the SiIva team, the fans, the in-universe characters, were all just happy to have wrapped up such a gargantuan, season-spanning event at last! And if I had to hazard a guess, I'd probably say that Season 4 Episode 2 was, by extension, the least irony-filled season in the channel's entire life even up until now - the set list for much of the year, at least in my memory of it all, had a vibe of grateful sincerity, which brought us rips like Locked In The Underground, vs SAYU (Based Version), Beyond the Floating Isles, and many more.

And right in the midst of all that sits Riki Ricch, the rip in focus for this week. In execution, it's a very simple rip - mashing up Frontier Village from Xenoblade Chronicles with Roddy Ricch's Down Below to create a fantastic example of patented SiIvaGunner "rip-hop". It's a term I've used before which loosely describes rips like Noonsummer Madness and God's PS2: Rips that leverage the emotional connections and nostalgia that binds us to video game music, and elevate those feelings further through being mashed up with low-tempo rap music. The end result puts a fresh spin on what we'd otherwise only consider background music - with Riki Ricch in particular, it takes the soothing stillness of Frontier Village, a tune that oozes comfort and hominess out of every corner, and just makes those vibes hit all the more through Ricch's personal lyrics. I've said it in many posts before that I'm hardly a connoisseur of the music world and even less so the hip hop world, but I really don't feel as if I need to be for Riki Ricch to hit home for me - I've spent so many hours taking it slow and steady in the world of Xenoblade Chronicles to where its music is already bound to cause a reaction, and giving it the smallest of twists such as this is enough to get me vibing in a whole new way.

That sort of returns to the musings from the start of this post - how much can I truly write about rips this simple but effective? Knay is a ripper with many sides, most notably for this blog being the mind behind CG Man HD Remastered Edition and its non-remastered counterpart, but otherwise contributes to the channel at their own pace with whatever they seem fit to make on that day. And I think that's awesome!! Like many of Knay's other rips, Riki Ricch, whilst not necessarily the most multi-layered rip ever made, feels like a completely original idea pursued to its natural endpoint by a ripper who genuinely cares about both pieces used to create it, a "I wonder if that would work" made into something for all of us to enjoy.

At little over 20K views, the rip is far from a runaway classic on the channel - yet, really, that only means there's many more people out there yet to have found it for themselves. And if you take anything from this post, other than the sheer quality of Riki Ricch itself, it's that I encourage all of you to really go hunting for quality rips that are similarly - unjustly - left in the dust, simplicity be damned. Season 4 Episode 2's celebrations may be far behind us, but its spirit of joyous good ought to still be upheld by us in the audience for as long as we can muster.

[cyber-corp]

Suburban music videos: What's the deal?

Some of you may know that a couple of days ago I started a playlist of music videos from the 1990s and 2000s which all seem to be featured in or prominently feature American suburban areas. I forget what the actual post was that pointed this out, but I think I kind of had that idea before I saw it.

One of the first music videos I thought of was 'Rockin' the Suburbs' by Ben Folds from 2001, because not only does it explicitly mention a suburb, but the video is done in such a way that I think it was meant to poke fun at the angry white boy music that plagued the late 90's (Limp Bizkit, Korn, etc).

The other video I thought of was 'Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)' by the Offspring from 1998. Like RTS, it's meant to poke fun at middle-class white dudes who think they're hot shit because they listen to rap, when in reality they come off as cheesy wannabes. So it would make sense for the MV to have that setting.

The main trope these MVs have in common is that they both have the "haha 90s ironic edge" on them. Like it's very obvious that the songs are about how tough some dudes think they are, when really they live in a relatively safe and secure area. "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden did something similar in 1994, but I think that it has a completely different vibe to the others. More surrealism, less irony.

But I think the true golden era of the "suburban neighbourhood music video" was during the early to mid-2000's. With a rise in pop-punk and emo, comes a rise in angsty teens going "blehh!!! screw this place!!!! screw the establishment!!!!!! its not a phase mom!!!!!!", which then resulted in music videos featuring an environment they were probably most familiar with (and probably stuck in).

Here's '1985' by Bowling for Soup, released in 2004. The colour palette for this video is a lot more muted, which is (I find) a common link between most MVs in the 00's. Which gives a more "this is the way things actually are" vibe, compared to the much brighter palettes of the 90s.

'The Anthem' by Good Charlotte (2003) is quite possibly the most early-00's MV ever, and I consider it to be the definitive suburban neighbourhood music video. The song is about "not living the way you're meant to live" according to Joel Madden, and the video reflects that sentiment! Just a bunch of punk and emo kids going out and causing a ruckus, having a gay ol' time.

It also has this weird blue/greenish filter on it, which is very indicative of its period. That's a whole other story.

The suburban neighbourhood continued to thrive in music videos throughout the 00's, mainly in pop-punk and emo. I believe this was an attempt to target its demographic; adolescents aged 14-19 who had yet to find their place in the world. Some notable MVs include 'You're Going Down' by Sick Puppies (2009), 'Only One' by Yellowcard (2003), and 'Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground' by the White Stripes (2002).

(side-note: michel gondry, director of the white stripes vid, never misses when it comes to his music videos. this is one of my favourite music videos ever, but it definitely isn't one of my favourite suburban music videos ever.)

SNMVs began to go out of style around the early 2010s, presumably along with pop punk and emo. The closest to it would be 'I Sold My Bed, But Not My Stereo' by Capital Cities, which came out in 2014. It's very much of a more nostalgic style compared to the others, but it's most likely one of the last of the SNMVs.

So: Does this specific sub-genre of MV mean anything?

I think individually the videos definitely represent and reflect certain zeitgeists of their eras, but the SNMV is very much rooted in adolescent angst. That feeling that while you are living comfortably, there's definitely something more. Boredom is present in every teenager, and these videos are like a fantasy for them: getting to live out your days without responsibility with your friends, but are suppressed of having any fun because of the 'system' at large.

"Let me tell y'all what it's like

Being male, middle class and white"

(also i think all star is partially responsible for the rise of interest because of course it is. it's all star by smash mouth. mentioning its very existence feels redundant.)

[nobodysdaydreams]

Okay, now they REALLY gotta drop the Jacobi duck-related lore 🦆 (and I need to stop holding out hope Blessie will return 😔💔)

(Or my reaction to Wolf359’s Mission Mishap Episodes).

Welcome back dear readers! My schedule has been busy lately, but the Mission Mishap episodes were mercifully short, so I’ve been listening to a few episodes per week and have gathered my reactions here for you all to enjoy.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Also tagging @lovelyladylavie because I promised I’d tag you way back on this post and forgot (I’m so sorry!) but my reactions are all under the tag so you should be able to find them!

Mission Mishaps: A Little Night Music

"Not fully reading your contract before you sign it...not understanding your job responsibilities, and wanting commander off your back" I love Doug's sponsorships and the dramatic irony 😂 *Cue The Fine Print playing in the background...*

I guess the only actor they could get was Doug. Nice of him to fill us in on what Minkowski and Hera are saying though.

OH MY GOSH.

HIS VOICE.

DR. DR. PROFESSOR DR. PROFESSOR F. EIFFEL 😂

It's so fancy. Mannnyyyy PhDs. Very impressive, Doug.

I'm so happy we got more radio show Doug. I need to hear him do a radio show where all his personalities talk to each other. Being the special guest on the show is Cutter's punishment for all eternity. The Dear Listeners make 5 copies of Doug so he can be all the characters.

"The feeling you'll die miserably..." yikes, broke character for a second there Doug.

"Ah yes...the way the piano notes dance around the...other piano notes...absolutely fantastic piece for when you want to start your day with the paino-y energy" Well said Doug.

Oh boy. Cowboy music. Is this the return of Badass McAwesome? Do I dare to hope?

Ah, well, better luck next time.

His poor toe. I hate when that happens too, Doug.

The...mind eraser?

Don't like how that sounds. Especially after the threats in "Change of Mind".

Better not be foreshadowing.

"This song is a mutant, it's superpower is being catchy. It never leaves."

Okay, THAT better not be foreshadowing.

"Afraid of the plant monster?" I wish we could be, Doug. I wish we could be. 😔🪴

"Worried you'll never get back to Earth to see you're family?" Oh, Doug. 💔

"Bosses you're pretty sure are kind of evil" Kind of is generous Doug.

Yeah...yeah Doug that got very dark there for a bit.

Moral boosting? Oh dear. MUTE 😂 AFTER TWO MINUTES 😂

I love Doug. Poor fellow. I enjoyed the broadcast Doug. They don't appreciate your talents.

Mission Mishaps: The Space You’re In

I love the title’s double meaning.

More of Doug dodging his work I see. A common theme.

“Please stop going off on tangents” I guess Cutter and Pryce didn’t send them up with any ADHD meds. “I’m here for work 😊” Nice cover, Doug. 👍🏻 nailed it.

“I’m gonna get that thing that I forgot”. You do that Doug.

How did I know Doug was gonna break something? 🤣

Specimen incubation period??? BLESSIE????

How dare they tease us with Blessie lore?

Good question Doug. Why IS there a harpoon?

Doug literally has no where to hide. 🤣

Oh right. Space. Why do I see that backfiring?

PFFTTT—- Did she just call him a lizard? 🦎

“It’s beautiful” -> “I hate space” poor Doug. I’m sensing a pattern 🤣

Mission Mishaps: You Want, I Solve Ah Doug stealing coffee from Minkowski. Once again, I sense a pattern.

Wait. A puppy? 🥰🐕‍🦺🐾

“The mean lady who runs this place” really Doug? You did just steal her coffee.

2 tails? Well, twice the wagging, I see that as a win. 🥰

Follow him Doug!

IS ZACH VALENTI DOING THE VOICE OF THE DOG?

AS SMEGOL AND GOLLUM FROM LORD OF THE RINGS?

AND IS DOUG HALLUCINATING FROM THE COFFEE???

The dogs are multiplying? David Bowie is here? Okay Doug is hallucinating for sure.

Ah hello Hilbert.

Why is he treating the manual like it’s the ring? 🤣

Well. That was weird.

Oh, Hilbert. All to get Doug to bond with the manual.

And yet something tells me he still won’t read it. It does sound like he might be cuddling with it at night and killing anyone who tries to take it from him though. Mildly concerning. Mission Mishaps: The Veldt Oh my gosh. The episode description. Eiffel goes into the greenhouse… y’all. I don’t wanna get my hopes up, but…

IS THIS BLESSIE CONTENT???? 🪴

I’m so excited guys. I don’t wanna get my hopes up, I know I shouldn’t, but I need Blessie back!

So Doug is doing his chores again. I sense a pattern.

He does a great Australian accent. Again, I need the aliens to clone Doug just so he can have a show where his different personalities talk to each other. Hm. Oxygen chamber has a lot of passwords. And a lot of weird ways to enter passwords. Which is nice for protecting the air, but not so great when you, you know, desperately need air and only have a few seconds to enter the password.

The binary forms of color? This is so extreme not to mention boring. Not one sign of Blessie. I’ve been bamboozled. And WHY is there a timer? This is so weird.

THAT’S IT?

Well I’m upset. We went to the greenhouse and didn’t see leaf or stem of Blessie. 💔

I’m not giving up hope. If not in the show then in fanfic that plant is coming back.

Mission Mishaps: Lights Out

Another entry from dear Doug. I wonder if Minkowski and Hilbert are gonna have him do something he doesn’t want to and then hijinks ensues and Doug messes something up?

HP Lovecraft, Call of Kuthulu? Oh me too Doug stuff is hard to pronounce.

Doug does a good creepy narrator voice. It’s funny to think of Hera listening to all this. It reminds me of those people on Lovelace’s crew reading stories together.

“Property of Dr….”

DOCTOR WHO? (A good show, but I’m literally asking the question).

Is it that girl on Lovelace’s crew who liked to read? (I’m sorry it’s hard to keep track of their names).

Ah yes, and the star is acting up. As is Doug’s imagination. I’m sure this couldn’t possibly go wrong.

Hilbert. What sample? What escaped?

I’m not getting my hopes up this time. You teased me with Blessie once. I’m not falling for it again. I’ve been burned before.

It just sounds like a little mouse. 🐁

…I hope it’s not one of the spiders… I’m now beginning to realize Doug’s fears…

“It’s small and scurrying”

Is it a mouse?

Doug, it’s probably just a mouse. “It’s staring at me.” Well it’s probably scared too, Doug.

Doug, you better not have killed that poor little mouse.

You killed the maintenance drone Doug? Well that was a wild ride. At first I thought they weren’t gonna go the “Doug messes up a thing Hilbert and Minkowski are doing” route but they always surprise me with their ability to bring it back there. Not that I’m complaining, I’m loving these stories. Mission Mishaps: Cold Turkey More Doug! Wow. 553 days. That’s… that’s a lot.

Thanksgiving? Is this the same Thanksgiving from Hera’s memory? 🦃

Banned from the kitchen? Oh poor, Doug. Was Hilbert not available? I guess he’s Russian so he doesn’t celebrate it. But he can probably cook.

Doug is just like me fr. Don’t ask my partner what happened when I tried to make him food. All you need to know was that I tried my best, and it’s the thought that counts.

Doug is gonna burn this Turkey. I know the actress was probably busy and these are “extra” episodes, but Hera please come online and help him.

Oh gross. Cans of spam? Disgusting.

Right, maybe Hilbert can do something. But on the other hand, Hilbert and Eiffel can make each other worse. And what was that about psychoactive properties? What was Hilbert exposed to?

“Can I give indifference? I have plenty of that.” Yes, Hilbert, you made that very clear.

“Oh well if I have to “come on”.” “Really!” “No.” Hilbert is lowkey hilarious 🤣 “I like pecan pie…maybe thanksgiving is not so terrible.” 🥧

I love how Hilbert sounds like he’s plotting something ominous even when he’s just talking about pie. 🤣

But seriously, why was he in Texas? He never answered that.

“The best way to keep him away from the kitchen was to put you in charge” oh poor Doug. She was right though.

Aw, this is sweet. I like how it connects to what we saw in Hera’s memories too.

Mission Mishaps: No Complaints Aw man, SI-5? What happened to Doug?

First they take Blessie from me then they force me to spent time with his killers.

Well gang, I guess it’s time for the adventures of Whiskey Man and Duck Boy.

Wow. Sitting in a car and brooding in the rain. An action packed adventure if I’ve ever heard one.

Oh wait, are they stalking Maxwell? They said she was from a small town.

“Did you stalk me?” Yes, he did Jacobi. Kepler was acting so creepy at that bar, I’m sorry. What even was that?

“I really hate you sometimes sir. ✨You’re the worst✨” oh Duck Boy you have no idea.

THE DUCK THING? OH NO PLEASE TELL US ABOUT THE DUCK THING.

What video. WHAT VIDEO.

Please tell us why Jacobi is brooding and PLEASE tell us about the duck video.

Jacobi taught him questions only? Wow he really does love to dig his own grave.

Kepler is not your friend Jacobi. If you think he is, you… gosh you really need to meet somebody. Anybody.

All this complaining… Jacobi really is the evil version of Doug sometimes…

What was on Jacobi’s mind? What did Rachel think was on his mind? Oh, his one year recruitment.

Nothing good ever comes out of a mysterious duffel bag. Why does he have all those fireworks?

When your evil boss takes you on a fake stake out and gives you some fireworks to blow up because he knows you crave destruction: 💣🎆🥰🎇🧨😍

I like that they play fireworks sounds as they roll the credits. It’s a nice touch. Mission Mishaps: Happy Holidays Already down to the last one. Time flies when you’re having fun. Oh more SI-5. Hopefully a little less Whiskey Boy, a little more Duck related lore.

Oh no such luck. :(

Geez, Kepler really does love flexing every single bit of power that he has, doesn’t he? Just get to the point already! Why couldn’t he have been the one to go instead of Maxwell?

“Oh no! Not a binary fault in the quartical… um… that’s bad!” Duck Boy stop being funny I don’t want to like you.

Not Kepler’s slow claps… I swear this man is infatuated with the idea of being a super villain.

What are they afraid of?

…

A holiday party?

the evil space corporation has a HOLIDAY PARTY?

For what holiday? Cutter and Pryce clearly hate holidays. They’ve ordered people killed on nearly every holiday we’ve seen! … actually maybe that’s their way of making the holidays their own… and it makes me wonder who they want to kill at this party. Jacobi and Maxwell have a right to be concerned about this.

“We don’t ask questions. We trust that we were given orders for a reason.” THAT ONLY WORKS IF YOU ARE WORKING FOR TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE. And committing or endorsing murder takes you off the trustworthy list.

The idea of Cutter and Pryce celebrating Christmas disgusts me. Like, physically I have a hard time stomaching it. Christmas is about joy, and love, and goodwill toward mankind. Cutter and his crazy science gf have no place involving themselves in that. Not unless they show some serious remorse and do some serious penance and jail time.

SECRET SANTA EXCHANGE?

What kind of horrifying messed up gifts do people get each other? I hope Jacobi gets a pet duck.

… Maxwell’s mom died? “We all know you don’t talk to your mom” “…my mom just died?” “No Jacobi.” STOP BEING FUNNY.

Compare this to the holiday stuff that happens with the Hephaestus… this has such a creepy undertone. Especially when you imagine the events happening at the same time.

Well, that’s all for the Mission Mishaps. Sorry it took me so long guys, but I love and appreciate your patience. Excited to finish the rest of the series and hopefully I’ll have more for you soon!

[katsukikitten]

apparently vagabonding made some big callout post against jo, saying she was racist and all this shit

Jo isn't racist, point blank period.

None of my friends are racist, I do not tolerate that.

Oh and about Jo being not nice, I was in that group chat vega was talking about. No one said anything about her writing, no one said some "not nice things" or "deleted messages before her eyes." Jo asked to add her in because she knew vega was shy and wanted to help out with the Collab so she added her. Jo started off with banter and then we got to work on the Collab.

This event vega is talking about is from May of 2021.

It speaks volumes that the call out post is mostly about this one instance from two years ago, something about herself, before it's about the marginalized people Emme is so claiming to help protect by throwing around an accusation with zero evidence to back up her claim and then adding on some links to educate people so she can feel as if she has the higher moral ground.

There is no irony lost on the fact that a white woman is continuing to talk over the voices of POC while weaponizing a very real problem that she will never understand the gravity of.

I have closely interacted with Jo since 2019 in both large and small servers. Jo is kind, Jo is friendly and I haven't seen Jo say anything racist.

I heavily encourage you all to really decide for yourself someone's character instead of reading a random post from a blog that writes porn about anime characters and taking their word as the absolute truth.

These accusations are real world problems, this isn't about platforms, follower counts, or hurt fucking feelings. This is about systems, especially America's, oppressing POC on a daily basis for centuries and continuing to do so in modern day life. This is about real life people and things they have to face in their every day lives.

[lediz-watches]

Podcast: Weird Medieval Guys

Another podcast, because it's consumed my brain over the last week.

Weird Medieval Guys started as a Twitter account (go off, Musk), but is now also a bi-weekly podcast starring Olivia (the Twitter creator) and Aran (the historian she bribed with a platform to rant about Constantinople). Every couple of weeks, they gather together on Olivia's living room floor to academically gossip about medieval life, loves, and nonsense.

Because people have always been nonsensical, and that's amazing.

I found it through another podcast that I will one day do a post about (I need to... come to terms with why I love it) called We Can Be Weirdos, in which Olivia came on and caught my attention with her passion for the legal debates people got into about heraldry, and her willingness to admit that medieval people were just as petty and ridiculous as we are now.

Because that's the thing, and which I think this podcast shows so well: people have always just been people.

The world we exist in has evolved. Technology has marched on, our ways of interacting with each other have changed, and we have different values, different things we consider important, but we're still the same, really. We think of the past as this noble and dirty and incorruptible space, but people were making sex jokes and lame puns for a hundred thousand years. We aren't special just because we can blast our lame humour to seven billion people at a time.

But anyway.

Each episode of the podcast takes the form of a loose essay, Aran lecturing Olivia (or occasionally vice versa) on some topic about the medieval period, and don't get me wrong - they are lectures. There are stupid jokes, Aran loves to play different characters, Olivia giggles constantly, and the point of each one is that medieval people were Just Like Us, but Aran is an academic talking about research. Yes, his area of expertise is a later period, but the skills remain.

And to be clear, I am a recovering cultural studies student who until recently has been out of academic life and away from other academics for over a decade. But I suspect this is not a podcast you can walk into without some academic-adjacent background. They discuss articles and a lot of their humour is based in inference and the kind of irony you see in people who debate reality for a living.

But they are also redditors, and Twitter natives, and talk about their subjects as 'based'. Aran loves to call people King and Queen. They bring their subject matter to the now.

The most recent podcast was about medieval Welsh bards, and they read out a rap (flyte) battle between two of them (Olivia's bard totally won, I don't care what you say), and finished on the DIRTIEST poem I have ever heard (seriously, ugh), and it taught me a lot about Wales' history, which I've never really known much about, so thank you for that. But it was great to hear all this poetry and these poets and put them in a context where you can strip back the language and see them for the frustrated, young, often horny, very human people they were. Also I loved the owl poem and must search it out because I grew up next to koala tress and boy, I feel you.

The episode before that was about medieval animals, and while it was fun to hear about hedgehogs and the bestiary, it also contained a beautiful insight into why we use animals as narrative devices. The only downside is that I'm still on the edges of the Hellverse fandom and started analysing furry culture and honestly, no one needs that in their life...

But my FAVOURITE episode so far is part two of their Constantinople episode, where they described the Ottoman leader Mehmed as so... painfully human. Even as his soldiers ransacked a once-glorious city and he chased a mad dream, he was just so lost and passionate and terrible and... Aran described him so beautifully, I was just swept up in the story.

So yes. Although there are a few hiccups along the way (please please please go back and fix the episodes with the overlapping voice tracks it hurt my ears so bad), if you have even a passing interest in history or culture or what makes humans human, check out this podcast.

Because we're just people. We've always just been people. And that's amazing.

[ragnar0c]

Finished book one of the Good Witch of the West today...! I had about 3 chapters left and I just read it all in one sitting... Go me! 30 pages! Grew on to me, more than the anime actually.

Lengthier in pacing compared to it all which I thought was a flaw. I usually like more episodic works and hate when the plot stays at one point for too long... BUT this makes it work. Such detailed descriptions, even if the characters remain in one spot and the plot drags they make sure the setting reflects the characters, and the kingdom is beautiful. I long to write as descriptively as this.

At times, I was ripped from descriptions to a telling of a character's emotions. Something I do sometimes. This book was reassuring bc I'd tell myself "Well I can't just say that. I have to show it." which is true sometimes, but this book taught me that it is okay to just say things instead of slaving over symbolism just to express something. I really liked the more in depth characters here, it never stayed on one's thoughts. Switched POVS which helped me understand side characters thoughts as well as the mains. How their thoughts contrasted and built up dramatic irony or even more a bond with some.

I loved the art work too... a given.

I have the second book as well. Need to get thru it. I reread the first chapter, then read the second. Currently on chapter 3. The sequel has my favorite arc in the show in it, so very excited... I will try to get thru it faster.

I'm a little proud to say I am reading more and faster. Getting thru 30 pages in a day used to be a chore for me. But I did that today and more. In total I read 64 pages. Partially thanks to the short chapter lengths... If this keeps up I can finally read some longer chaptered fics maybe?

After Good Witch of the West I think I'll try to read the rest of Sabikui Bisco... Then I bought Gideon the 9th... ough... Not sure I'm ready for that... So I'll either try that orrrrrrr try out reading Katanagatari as I really like the artwork for that LN... and Like GWotW, Kukui sings a song for it and I am heavily biased to media Haruka Shimotsuki does music for. Love her <3

Or. Maybe I should finish the HOBBIT OUGHHHHH IDK very much to read. I could read two books in the same time period now tho.

I started Sabikui while reading Good Witch and hadn't felt overwhelmed like before when I read multiple books at the same time ...

Anyway, it's been really long since I posted one of these, but, been reading more I think at least! If you got this far then... Thank you!

[fandomcrazy6226]

Liveblogging Dracula Daily - May 7

Brought to you on May 8 and the sore throat I woke up with this morning. Today is our final tech rehearsal and we open tomorrow, running until Saturday. So I'll finally get some sleep on Sunday! Sad half of that is my boyfriend can only come to opening night this week cause he's leaving for a trip on Friday (he was originally coming to Friday so he cold tag along with the post-show diner trip)

But yeah yours truly woke up with a sore throat so I'm basically popping cough drops to try and deal with it. My guess is all the pollen finally got to me. Other guess is that I'm sick, but I'm actually not letting that one be right

Anyway enough of my personal life, let's get back to what you're all here for: vampire silly times featuring everyone's favorite solicitor!

Man I would love to sleep for hours and wake up of my own accord. I haven't really done that without something coming later in the day since... two saturdays ago? Too long

Ok so I know dinner is what they used to call lunch, and I'm guessing he means 5-6 pm. But that's still pretty darn late for a lunch. Also this poor guy really needed that nap, huh

Sidenote, the wolves and the lack of people is making me think of Beauty and the Beast and I know that's obviously a very different story but it'd be really funny if all the furniture just randomly came to life and started singing at Jonathan.

And a huge library too!

So he called Jonathan all the way here so he could have an English tutor? I feel like first of all there are better people for that and second he probably could've disclosed that information. Like that's not gonna give anything away I don't think

Huh. Blue flame treasure. Is that an actual superstition or is that just something he's saying to distract Jonathan? It's a cool explanation either way I guess

Mmmmmm. sharp teeth. Suspicious... (i say with a heart's fire full of dramatic irony)

Oh Jonathan's sleep schedule has gotta be so busted at this point (relatable)

I kinda want to build this house in Minecraft now. It sounds cool

Ok so he marked his house in the atlas, as well as... Jonathan's house, I'd guess? Don't know who/what the third marking might be though

Hmmm obedience trance. Buddy. Johnny. Go to sleep. Please.

Well that was fun. Expect the actual May 8 post in a few hours, probably around 10:30 (will write during my 3rd period class)

PREVIOUS / NEXT

[100dayproductivity]

68/100.

This morning's cup of coffee. Not sure what AI was trying to spell out on the cup, lol. But the colour is nice!

Yesterday I was very unproductive all day. I tried to focus but ended up watching a YouTube video entitled "10 Signs You Might Have ADHD". The irony was not lost on me.

Finally, around 11 p.m., I got started on what I had been wanting to get done all day: look at my secondary credit card statements to see what I spent with it from April 1st, 2022 to March 31st, 2023. It was the last bit of financial data I needed to gather. Got the numbers entered into my spreadsheet and started adding everything up. I stopped at 2:30 a.m. and went to bed. Better late than never!

So today I want to finish adding everything up and see what the numbers tell me.

Oh, I don't think I mentioned why I'm doing this exercise. Besides the fact that it's a good idea to periodically analyze your spending from a personal finance point of view, I also really need to get a handle on what my expenses are and how much I actually earn. Several years ago I was a married SAHM (stay-at-home mom). My ex is a relatively high income earner. Then I got divorced and started working a little bit. At first I did some low-paying work-from-home jobs, then as my kids got a little older I was able to work a bit outside the home during the school day. And then a little more, and I raised my rates a little more, and so on. I've gradually been working more and earning more, but it's still not at a full-time job capacity and still a modest hourly rate. I'm not sure I can afford to continue to live where I do and/or continue to solo-preneur the way I do when my support payments stop. I'm a little afraid to see the final numbers of how much it actually costs me to live here. Hence the difficulty in getting this project done. That's the obstacle.

I'm hoping the next time I post I'll have some fun pie charts to share with you. Who doesn't love pie?

[kiyomai]

Sitting and Waiting

Suna x GN!Reader

Summary: What happens when Suna sits and waits at your doorstep?

Angst // Navigation

“What’re you doing here, Rintaro?!”

Suna looks up from his spot on your doorstep, catching the way your initial shock turns into disappointment.

This isn’t the first time he’s seen this face of yours; he’s deemed it his least favorite expression, but he’s thankful he even gets the chance to see your beautiful face nonetheless.

There are more days in-between where he sees you less and less. What started off as a few hours of missing you has turned into days of missing you. Soon enough, days will turn into weeks, weeks will turn into months, months will turn into years, and eventually years will turn into never seeing you again.

What is he doing here, you ask?

To see you, of course. That’s all he ever wants anymore. Suna’s selfish, and he knows it. Suna Rintaro is so unbelievably selfish; so selfish, in fact, that he comes every once in a while to sit on your doorstep to wait for you to come out. He used to knock, but you gave up on him ages ago. Now, he just sits and waits.

He scoffs at the irony of it all. How many nights did you spend sitting and waiting for him to come home to you? How many nights did you sit and wait at the kitchen table for his temper to die down before cautiously entering the bedroom? How many nights did you sit and wait before deciding that he wasn’t worth the effort anymore?

And it stings. This is how you felt and he just ignored you. Now it’s your turn to ignore him and his turn to sit and wait for you to open the door.

“You can’t keep doing this, Rintaro.” He supposes he should be grateful you’re not using his last name, but he silently prays for you to use those cute nicknames you used to call him. “This isn’t healthy.”

“This makes me happy, though.” He can’t stop the tremble in his voice as he finally speaks. Speaking is the hardest part, once he starts, he can never stop. He doesn’t want to, though. He wants to keep talking, he wants to say anything that’ll make you take him back.

“It’s not making me happy, though.” Ouch. “It’s not healthy for either of us. I can’t keep opening the door and finding you sitting here, Rin.” Tears are threatening to come out of his eyes. You called him Rin. “It hurts seeing you like this.”

That’s what makes the tears spill. He’s hurting you. And because you’re so selfless, you’re hurting for him. He’s too busy wiping his tears to notice you crouching in front of him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He looks at you with pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for being an asshole, for not being there for you, for always yelling at you.”

“I’m sorry for sitting on your doorstep.”

It’s with that final sorry that you reach out to him. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help but reciprocate. This is the last hug he’ll ever get from you. This is your final statement. He doesn’t want to let go, but Suna knows he’ll have to eventually. Once you pull away, this will be the last time Suna Rintaro gets to sit and wait at your doorstep.

a/n: this is my second time posting this cuz of tags, but— dun-dun-dun… here’s some angst for y’all after a long period of fluff ;) hope you enjoyed. Likes, comments, and reblogs are welcome and appreciated <33

[yanaequa]

Thanks for replying to me re: disability rights in SK. I learned a lot. I have a follow-up question: is it really true that there aren't therapists or doctors in SK who specialize in autism? I honestly can't believe there isn't even one (1) that can help YW. I'd love for YW to go to therapy in the 2nd season: on her own terms, to understand and help herself but also, towards gaining more independence.

There... is, there is. HOWEVER, they are not many in number, and I am not entirely sure if those would be actually helpful to autistics, especially for grown-up ones. Therapy for autistic individual are mostly focused on children, and I believe the it is more likely designed to make autistic people to be fit to social norm rather than helping the struggles of them. ABA is considered as something super innovative way of treating autistics. (I ofc firmly disagree with such notion. ABA sucks. Period.)

It sounds terrifying, but korean autistics are desperate for them. Our pain of not being able to be seen at all is greater than the pain of not being accepted and validated. At least, if I learn to speak their language, and speak in a way they understand, then they will be able to see SOME of me, at least. For that, we would try everything we could; we would be WILLING to take ABA, just to connect & communicate with others. We are THAT desperate. Think of it as drinking super dirty water that would definitely make one sick because that is literally ONLY drinkable liquid around.

Still though, I remember going for the therapy when I was young. Back in that day, autism being spectrum was yet to be perceived. It was a group therapy with other "Asperger's Syndrome" friends. (I was young and that was name of the diagnosis at that time!) We talked and communicated and did some quiz-like activity altogether including doctors and parents. Problem was: there were only four of us, and all the kids were boys, while I being the only girl. My mom was heard that is is less prevalent among girls. Now I know that autism is spectrum, I can confidently say that autistic women are less "visible". Anyways, my action & behavior was WAY different than others in there. I remember getting scared because one friend got agitated that his answer is different (I did the expression of "feeling sorry"; his answer was "feeling too bad") and started shouting. My mom and I stopped going to the therapy after a while, because she thought I was capable of being normal rather than belonging to such side. I agreed that what is being offered in therapy is not needed for me.

What my mom thought, in fact, is true. Unlike other autistics I met, I was CAPABLE of learning language that is prevalent in society. Because she thought that I was capable, I was able to study abroad. She said she wouldn't let me go if she thought I was autistic, and she still thinks that I am not, although she agrees that I am different from others.

Oh, the irony of NOT being thought as autistic actually being treated better than being perceived as autistic, because the stereotype of it is immensely flat and wrong on so many levels! The irony of the idea "disability is burden" being a PREMISE that nobody is even thinking of challenging it! One day, I commented in the online post, and explicitly said that "please AVOID commenting that the disability is burden" then people just casually replied that "I don't think disabled people is burden but isn't disability tho?" I was like HEY I DIDN'T EVEN INVALIDATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND EXPLICITLY ASKED TO DON'T WRITE IT IN SUCH WAY AND YOU JUST CASUALLY IGNORE IT BY WORDPLAYING? I DIDN'T EVEN DEMAND IT! I don't want to rant, but that's how the Korean society is; one consists of RIGID social norms that makes nobody (including NTs) happy.

So when I watched EAW and saw Young-Woo expressing herself with her own language, and people trying to understand and learn what her language would actually mean, (like the scene in ep.3 where Young-Woo's dad speak quoting a law so she would understand to make her stop crying), it really felt like something else. She looked like the parallel universe version of me, where my own language is accepted as valid ones. Because I didn't. My mom let me know how my language could be perceived by others (this thing was actually helpful for figuring out my own effective ways of communication!), then rather proposed express in a way I do not offend others. I now mask well, really well; thanks to my mother’s effort. In fact, I forgot how to express in my own language. I used to have something like the whale of WYW, but It’s lost and gone forever that I can’t even replicate it even if I wanted to. So lost and gone that I can’t really relate myself to other fellow autistics.

At least I thought so, until I started watching EAW.

After watching the show, I asked my friend who have been known me for long time if she sees me in WYW. She said I pretty much acted like her back then, so I asked if I had something like WYW’s whale. She told me that I was so fond of stars in night sky, that I kept telling her about constellations and stars.

I still like them. I LOVE making analogies of stars and nights to our life. I love the mythologies & stories related to constellations. I WANT to be the one like star in the night, and I really act like that.

Maybe it was not that lost after all.

I’ll probably write about stars and nights in another article.

[emcandon]

Hmm, so would the Ronin universe's version of the Prequel Era be based on the rise of fascism and psychotic ultra militarism in Imperial Japan instead of the hodgepodge mix of Nazi Germany, the late Roman Republic and not so settle commentary on the Bush Administration in Canon?

My other idea would be the "Clone Wars" taking some loose inspiration from the Boshin War and Satsuma Rebellion, with the increasingly marginalized Jedi rising up and being faced with the Empire sending in armies of Clone Troopers.

Good question! My answer would be dictated by the needs of the greater project -- as IP is beholden to be -- but I will try to concoct an answer based on what we see in The Duel and what I drew on for Ronin.

(Am I procrastinating on line edits? No! YOU'RE procrastinating on line edits!!)

On one hand I agree that Ronin is an OT-analogous book bc I've joked about how the Ronin is kind of like if Anakin Skywalker did the whole "descent into murder" stuff, took a step back, and went, "Uh... Oops! Uh-oh. Oops! I gotta go." On the other hand it feels kind of prequel territory in that it's a world governed by a great big political body that's sliding into decay.

That said, given that I was loosely drawing from jidaigeki's love of the Warring States period + had positioned Ronin as loosely post-Warring States, if the Sith Rebellion had been what allowed re-unification under the emperor:

I think I'd play a Ronin prequel through the lens of the Warring States period, where people are yearning for an end to generalized violence between feudal lords. Some of those lords just want to be sovereign unto themselves (some of them are okay, some of them are shitty), but enough of them are dreaming about a mythical past where there was an emperor who everybody actually listened to (this is a fairy tale! obviously!) that it's become a real ongoing problem for everybody. Some of these guys want to restore that imperial line while others want to BE that emperor, and to that end, some politics, lots of war. Meanwhile, non-lord people are for the most part just trying to be alive, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Simultaneously, I'd probably make this the tale of how the Jedi clans decided they would swear fealty to the lords after all. Which is a nice bit of tragic irony (we're talking PT here, after all!) in a situation where the lords are the ones causing everybody so much grief. The Jedi clans could start out as a separate entity -- maybe more monastic like Chie alludes to -- but over time they'd become so embroiled in politics and various loyalties that there'd be messy bloodshed, terrible use of terrifying power all over the place, etc. In short, I would explore the events that compelled the Jedi to believe they shouldn't be the foremost arbiters of their own power. What horrors convinced them to yield that control?

(How many of them would be horrified to see Hanrai one day accepting lordship himself? How many of them would see the Ronin and his rebellion as the worst version of themselves -- as exactly what they're trying to stop themselves from becoming?)

(In other news, wife and I have acquired a roomba, and as it is large, black, fundamentally helpful, and constantly running into walls, we have dubbed it the Ronin.)