#The brainworms are real I'm sorry

[theoncomingchaos]

How MYATB fits the Gothic genre

WARNING: BOOK SPOILERS

Alright, first off, I know the author was not intending to write a Gothic romance, but it seriously fits the genre so well and I need to talk about it.

Here are the main elements of Gothic horror

Supernatural elements

Omens, nightmares, or curses

Unnerving Atmosphere

Gothic Hero

Gothic Villain

Romance

Emotional Distress

Mystery

Power Imbalance

Here is how MYATB fits the criteria.

Supernatural elements primarily come from the cultivation, the magic poison and flowers etc.

We see Huai'en having nightmares about the cliff pretty frequently, and the poison acts like a curse where the cold weather brings him pain. Particularly, the curses in Gothic horror often connect to the past. This can be ancient or recent, and this curse connects to Xiaobao's personal past.

In this story the weather is the main source of unnerving atmosphere. Winter brings physical, torturous pain, and if it rains at all during the several days it takes to perform the cure, then Xiaobao will basically be doomed.

A Gothic hero usually has some big flaw and struggles against some kind of temptation. For Xiaobao, his flaw is that he was spoiled, weak, and naive. He has never known pain, any time he had a slight inconvenience he could cry out and someone would immediately help him. So, learning to see the world as it is, take responsibility for himself, and fight through pain to do what he knows is right is a huge part of his journey. The temptation he struggles with is desire (lust/love). We see this in him proposing to multiple girls in one night and his frequent patronage to brothels, we see this in the way he throws himself onto Huai'en, and we see this in the way he struggles between his continued desire for Huai'en vs. all the hurt, guilt, and red flags.

A Gothic villain usually encapsulates the temptation that the hero has. They are often powerful, beautiful, and seemingly able to work outside of ordinary societal restrictions without fear or restriction. In a Gothic romance- this can be the/a love interest such as in Phantom of the Opera, True Blood, Interview with the Vampire or Jane Eyre. In love, they are often obsessive and controlling, they are liars (from omission or directly), and often have a dangerous side and/or secret. Huai'en is a powerful cultivator, he keeps his identity a secret for good reason, and he is canonically extremely beautiful. Especially in the book, he is a clear symbol of Xiaobao's weakness: he is both beautiful and lustful which early series naive Xiaobao would have thought was all that mattered in being the perfect partner. Although we know most of his worst traits come from his abusive upbringing and his youth, Huai'en absolutely fits the elements. He is obsessed with Xiaobao and extremely possessive. Xiaobao is the only thing he has ever wanted in his life and he is absolutely willing to take Xiaobao away against his will to keep him. His plotting where he attempted to protect the Jin family often included lies of omission because he was trying to control the situation himself. In both the book and series, he shows his violent side both on the battlefield and in bed. The difference here is that unlike many others in this genre, Huai'en is allowed to change and grow for the better and the narrative rewards this change. Eventually, he becomes more selfless in his love.

The romance is obvious. What is beautiful here is that the way they grow is not only perfect for their individual characterization, but it also makes them more suitable for each other. Xiaobao becomes someone who can be an equal partner for Huai'en, and Huai'en becomes someone who can genuinely love Xiaobao.

Both Huai'en and Xiaobao experience extreme emotional distress throughout the story. Xiaobao has to deal with losing his home and the guilt he has over hurting his family and endangering his friends. He has emotional distress over loving Huai'en and wanting to hate him for everything he has done. Huai'en has emotional distress from first discovering desire and his obsessive need for more love and closeness, the abuse and continued pressures of his adopted father, and then trying to get back with Xiaobao while being constantly rejected and pushed away.

The mystery comes primarily from the courtly intrigue. What did the Jin family do? What happened to Huai'en's mother? Who is his father?

The power imbalance between Xiaobao and Huai'en is obvious. Huai'en can and often DOES do whatever he wants to Xiaobao even against his will and Xiaobao can't do anything about it. Xiaobao originally thought he had the power via his money (and when he thought Huai'en was a woman) and coming to terms with not being the one in power in a relationship for the first time in his life is a big blow for him in the book. Xiaobao does gain power in the relationship, but physical power and even social status both leave Huai'en far above. Huai'en may leave behind his family name, but he is still the emperor's son, and the emperor still favors him as such. In the book, even Yuzhan still protects him within limits.

Anyway, looking through the lens of a different genre can bring some new perspective to a story and because I am a fan of Gothic literature, it just makes me love this story even more to see the connections. The book has some stuff that makes it VERY hard to read sometimes, and there are some moments that make you realize the author probably needs a bit more time to cook, but there is a lot of really nicely done narrative beauty in the bones of the story. I'm so happy to see how the series has taken these bones and elevated it. I really hope they stick the landing.

[sleepymaven]

Playing Armored Core 6 and just... thinking.

Thinking about 621 and Rusty possibly cuddling. 621 still wide awake as Rusty lightly breathes in his sleep, nice and slow but still present.

621 listening to Rusty's breathing intently. To his heart beat. Focusing on the warmth of his body heat.

Focusing on how alive Rusty is.

The knowledge his is just alive and well being comforting enough for 621 to finally drift off to sleep as well to the sound of Rusty's hearbeat; a soothing lullaby for 621's ears.

Just thinking about how my interpretation of 621 is probably so insanely traumatized that 621 needs to constantly be checking if the people 621 cares about are truly alive.

About how Rusty holds 621 so closely to his chest as a way of keeping 621 grounded.

About how shaken 621 must have been in that cave, having to fight Rusty. Hearing Rusty call 621 dangerous.

Imagining the thoughts running through 621's head in that moment. No. Anyone but Rusty... I can't fight Rusty– No. Not Rusty too.

Thinking about how 621 probably could have killed Rusty right there, but held back, opting to just damage his AC's enough to make him stop. Even ceasing fire when STEEL HAZE lost its arm, as if 621 was hoping Rusty would just stop, which he did.

..I really need to start writing again...

[honeycrashed]

All stars has ruined my life.

seperate pics: (yea I don't know where the whole thing is I just snatched this from sum1 else lmk if sum1 knows where it's from)

[analyzingadventure]

You know I actually never realized this before-- so you remember how tri. retconned Original Chosen fighting and defeating Apocalymon into them fighting the Dark Masters instead? (To be fair it is possible they could've ALSO fought Apocalymon afterwards but that isn't the Epic Final Showdown tri. decided to depict so it's borderline a retcon)

If the Original 5 Chosen fought and defeated the Dark Masters once in the distant past, doesn't that mean that

A) They survived and hid for just a few thousand years until they came back for a Round 2 at conquering the world

B) They died, were reborn, and THEN went for the Round 2

You know I've just DYING with curiosity, desperately wanting to know if any of the villians in Adventure would ever be reborn after Adventure, right. Because according to the lore they should, right (unless their data was like somehow absorbed by Apocalymon and destroyed along with him (though that would still leave Piemon as an exception (and Vamdemon but we all know what happened to him) and the sole survivor))

And what tri. has essentially done is confirm that most of them should, in fact, be reborn sooner or later

But that just raises the question of if Apocalymon was lowkey driving the Dark Masters nuts (as suggested by the novels), and if tri. was kind of about destroying the last remnants of Apocalymon's data (within Meicoomon), if they were reborn this time would they be free of Apocalymon's influence

If so, would their third (?) lives then turn out different? Would they still try to take over the world all over again for funsies (this time just without Apocalymon giving them power etc), or were they just the same as Ken was in Zero Two? I mean Apocalymon was supposed to be a spawn of Milleniummon and Ken was infected with Mille's malice directly, so while it may have been a bit filtered it was still the same source of malice and corruption, right

And like regardless of how their next lives would turn out, shouldn't the kids (OR AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST GENNAI) like realize that this is going to happen eventually and like. Go and see if they can find them (either as their pre-Ultimate forms or even when they're still in their Eggs) and try to figure out what to do BEFORE shit hits the fan

I JUST

[lytorika]

saw this outfit in one of those outfit memes and well. I think it works

[nemoys]

alt modern uni/akademiya au where linguistic major haitham works as a part time bartender (gives him financial freedom and all that) and comes to work only to be met with a certain shit faced blonde architecture major who never stops whining over being a student in STEM.

the blonde; named kaveh( as his exhausted bob haired babysitter friend had once groaned upon witnessing his shit faced-ness) had found haitham to be a particularly aggravating wall to mount his grievances onto, and so obviously he figures to continue bothering haitham at work on the ball stools, rambling on about some assignment or philosophical ideology that haitham always feels the need to refute.

haitham doesn't realise it initially, but he comes to find himself in awe of his red faced senior's rhetoric, finding himself almost anticipating what kaveh feels like lamenting over next, and maybe kaveh anticipates being met with an infuriatingly handsome bastard to debate with as well. maybe it's worth the killer hangover that comes after

[dragonsongmakhali]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags:

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @jigschosai @sealrock @reikatsukihana and @sasslett! Thank y'all :'D

This is not ordered by how much I'm into them, they're just in whatever order came to mind :) I will caution that I don't tend to choose favorite characters, I'm more of an OC maker. Feeling chatty, so I'm putting the actual list under a cut. You're welcome.

1. FFXIV : Pretty self-explanatory for the xiv sideblog. Since I'm not as in to the MSQ, I don't think I actually have a favorite character (which I know is illegal, I'm sorry :<). I really love seeing what the community does with the characters, though!

2. Halo : The storyline went to hell long ago, but I do still adore the original trilogy and constantly mine it for gpose captions. It was basically what I lived off of in high school. If I had a tumblr back then, I'd have been insufferable. Favorite character is easily Rtas 'Vadum.

3. WoW : Kind of. Asterisk. I really only know Classic, and even then, I'm way more Horde than I am Alliance. I have approximate knowledge of many things. No favorite there either - I'm all about the world and making OCs. We have two concurrent WoW tabletop games running at the moment, so this is where most of my headspace is. Their shared timeline is different from the canon, so I'm not really in the fandom per se.

4. Mass Effect : Alien dating sim, my beloved. I even enjoyed Andromeda (jump jets implemented perfectly, fun combat, the Jardaan reminded me of Forerunners). If you ask me to choose a favorite, I'll cry. How is a mother supposed to choose between her two sons (Legion and Grunt)? Drack also gets an honorary mention for his 100s of low res pictures of guns email.

5. Elder Scrolls : Mostly Skyrim, some Oblivion. I know, I'm one of those fans. Anyway, I've probably played over 1k hours of Skyrim by this point and yet. And yet! I don't have a favorite. The entirety of the Companions? I just wish that the faction questlines in Skyrim weren't "you killed 3 wolves and have been here a week. You lead us all now", but it does give me good scaffolding which. As an OC fiend. Grabby hands.

6. The World Ends With You : This game made me good at calculus in high school. My favorite character from here is Sho Minamimoto, and I was a completely normal teenager who dealt with that by doing calculus problems for fun. Turns out, the trick to get good at math is repetition.

7. Pokémon : Probably my earliest fandom. Still play the games now and again, just got Legends Arceus (super late, I know), and that's been a lot of fun. My favorite character from the franchise is Sinnoh's Rock type leader, Roark. I had a long-running sideblog dedicated to the Sinnoh region because gen IV is my favorite in general! It's inactive at the moment.

8. Guild Wars : 2, to be more precise. I started playing about a month after release, and since it's f2p, I still drop in from time to time. Like every MMO, I have no favorites. I really love playing Sylvari, though! (The glow!! The nightmare!! The [[Heart of Thorns spoiler!!]] They're just so neat)

9. Star Trek : we're now getting into "shows I watched and didn't hate" because I'm definitely not in the 'fandom' for Trek. We've been going through the old series as a way to wind down before bed, starting with TNG. We're on Enterprise now, and I'm sad that it got canceled. Still will probably have a better ending than Voyager. I don't have a favorite, but I can tell you that the writers' collective favorite must be either Seven of Nine or Data.

10. Uh. Various anime? I can't say I've recently loved any particular series to the point of fandom, but as a whole, I've been a weeb since I was in middle school. "Recent" series that I've enjoyed have included Mob Psycho and Love is War. Coincidentally, they both saved the most banger opening for their third season.

We had to stretch a little bit, but we made it to ten! Proud of this community (this community is my brain desperately trying to remember 10 things I like)

Have no idea who's been tagged in this, so if you've done this, please ignore! Or reblog it again!

@miqojak @airis-ray @wilanserulia @ahollowgrave @blackestnight @starstrider @iron-sparrow @sumifinalfourteen @jump-n-dive @otherworldseekers

[lambentplume]

after a long break (i graduated LOL) the media tag continues....

the dragon knights (+ granblue fantasy, kind of)

my fascination with fantasy knights led me down the slippery slope that is a 10-year-old g*cha (i'm squarely remaining f2p do NOT worry about me.) shoutout to the gbf wiki and people who upload the side stories to youtube because that's how i have been able to access more than half of the content in the first place. the parenthetical is like that because i really honed in on the knights before giving a shit about the main story or any other content LMAO...

oh i'm supposed to say something about them. i like knights in theory + in fiction. so these guys (except percival) were kind of engineered in a lab to get me. siegfried was the one who lured me in initially but i think vane's development over the series has been the most interesting. i have complicated feelings about lancelot and his weird characterization. also sorry for yapping in tags it's much ado about nothing down there.

[dragondawdles]

ok so I feel like I should preemptively apologize because I'm not sure what you had in mind when you expressed interest in seeing/hearing ideas from me on this but it probably wasn't me just taking that and running and ending up with my own draconified rough designs (+notes) for the three of them but uh! I may be a little silly

hi sending this ask as a free pass to draw as many dragons as you want forever

BUT if you want a specific direction may I propose lizzie joel and/or jimmy? :0c

Omg thanks for the free pass, so generous!!

And sure!! I havent had too many amazing ideas for Jim or Joel... other than canary characteristics for Jimmy, obvs, and something swampy and threatening for Joel (because he is a goddamn menace). I imagine Lizzie as some water blorbo because of the sailor skin and her whole thing in Empires that I have only approximate knowledge of. And thats all I got! If you've any ideas I'm very excited to hear/see them 👁

[ro-bee]

I'm sorry tumblr I don't have anything exiting to post here... I'm hyperfixating on goat's narinder ...

He's not even real and he's just my favorite *broken heart emoji*

Anyway thanks to my oomf Bunny to give me brainworms about them !!

More stuff below, description references (tw for scars, many scars...) and some suggestive stuff because I'm so insane about him

Brief description of him: he's the opposite of our beloved black cat so he's really friendly, kind and gentle. Me and Bunny are really abusing the "dogs are so weird, even if you hurt them they still love you" line... Wolf nari and goat's relationship is really complicated, that's all I'll say for now

Reference of the boy (with nari, and yes we're still rocking that toh reference pose) :

Ok so, if you saw my other references you might have noticed that wolf nari has something in common with my goat, it was Bunny's idea and I just went crazy about it so:

My goat's execution was absolutely gut wrenching (haha), something really traumatic that scarred them mentally; after coming back to life all they wanted was revenge for everything they've been through and for everything they've lost, they're not gonna stop at the 4 bishops they want all gods gone.

So, when it's time to meet again with wolf nari, goat is not gonna surrender and when they win and defeats the last living God they can finally free all their rage and do what was done to them to someone else, killing the last god, they went a little out of control... It didn't felt good like killing the others.

Smh toxic yaoi

Aaanyway

The suggestive stuff:

Good for them! Good for them!!

[yujateaandpi]

Hi! Internet stranger here!

Thank you so much for making this gravity falls comic. I've been having a rough couple of weeks, and seeing a new page has been uploaded every few days has really been what's keeping me going.

I have no idea how you're churning out these pages so fast! We readers love the timeliness, but we also want you to make sure you're not straining yourself, remember to take breaks and drink plenty of water :)

Thanks for the awesome creations and a comfort read <3

Sending you a sibling hug! I'm sorry to hear that you've been having some rough patches. It's gnarly out there, and the world is sometimes too hard on us. I'm grateful to hear that my sad story's been cheering you up, haha! Please take care of yourself and I hope life makes a sunshiny comeback for you soon.

LOL tbh I'm zooming through now because in about a year (IF ALL GOES WELL I REPEAT IF ALL GOES WELL) I will be venturing into Doctor School, where Free Time is an extinct species. After that is Residency, then Real Doctoring, then Life I suppose! I actually do not know if I will ever have the time to do a project on this scale again (maybe not until I'm old and retired hahaha), so I'm trying to cherish these particular fandom brainworms and create as much as I can humanly make now. I'm in a rare pocket of time in the application process where all my stuff is in The Void awaiting judgement (also called PLEASE TAKE ME Purgatory). So while I have some downtime (between like. A gazillion other passion projects) I am churning like an Amish butter maiden. Hey, if this blessed site is still up in thirty years, maybe I'll make a sequel LOL!

[torchickentacos]

Im here for your opinions on roundworms and parasites.

THANK YOU! Your enabling is always appreciated (and I think I have a pokemon ask from you that I lost in my drafts like six months ago????? I'll go find that later!) Here are some of my parasite opinions. Under the read-more because, re: last post's tags, this is not what most of you guys signed up for 😭

My main opinion- worms are, by far, the most interesting type of parasite, even amongst other endoparasites. Exoparasites are largely boring. Sorry to any tick or leech enthusiasts out there. Amoebas (and other protozoan parasites) are just okay. They were more interesting in season 2 of House MD than they are in real life, imo.

Guinea worms (draculculiasis) are maybe the most disgusting type of endoparasite, but thankfully they're incredibly rare. I'll keep it not-revolting but the removal process is disgusting, and not much gets to me but that does. When I was in vetmed classes back in like 2018-2020, I was the person who wanted front-row seats to literally everything, and despite that, guinea worms make me viscerally uncomfortable... but very fascinated. Heartworms are pretty high up there, too, and roundworms do get an honorary mention.

Not really an opinion but I need to know what kind of worm RFK JR has. I have been so darkly fascinated by this for months on end. It's PROBABLY neurocysticercosis, but what if it's something more interesting???? I have never wanted to see the full medical work-up of a politician more badly. I periodically check to see if there's any updates in the brainworm department. ALSO, it didn't actually eat his brain. I'm not a parasitologist but I'm like 95% sure that any worms that would have a presence in the brain would not actively feed on any organic tissue in that sense. It's probably a cyst caused by a calcified tapeworm larvae that damaged surrounding brain tissue. There was probably no actual ingestion of brain tissue despite claims and headlines. BUT IF THERE WAS, I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT. But nobody has a concrete answer.

If we want to talk about non-human parasites, then horsehair worms are a fun starting point! They infect insects and cause the insect to seek out water and drown themselves, and then the worm escapes in the water as part of the worm's life cycle. If you've got a strong stomach, go look it up on youtube. It's vile but SO interesting. The Green-banded broodsac is also a lovely little freak. It invades snail's eye stalks and pulses bright, strange colors to attract birds. The bird eats the snail (and the worm) and the worm uses the bird's droppings to scatter its eggs. It's some real freak of nature type shit and I love it.

Also not really an opinion, but I learned very quickly as a child that telling the other kids fun worm facts is not a great way to make friends, but on tumblr it works just fine!

[redbelles]

due to our shared ongoing brainrot: what's a thing that gave you the most brainworms in masters of the air? 👀

since i've already given an insane little spiel about the flying fortress here, i will spare you the ever-present aviation brainworms and go with, uh— curt biddick.

like i'm so sorry but the way barry keoghan portrays him makes me insane, actually?

"let’s knock one off, and drop bombs on those nazi fucks, and we get to go home early," the confidence, the swagger, the little teasing joke about buck sitting in his lap if he didn't preemptively give up the left seat, the genuine concern for bucky but the willingness to hit him nonetheless, "i'm irish," the near-debilitating relief when he realizes the rest of the formation is slowing down so he can keep pace, the fucking little spoon in-joke, the characteristically astute question being played for laughs but it is an astute question! why the fuck are they going to africa! and then, god—

the fog spooks him. it's always spooked him. he heads over to talk to buck on the pretense of finding out how buck and his crew are doing, but it's so, so clear he's looking for reassurance. that he's reaffirming to himself that this clusterfuck of a mission is going to be worth it—that they'll do some real damage—even as it's brutally clear that the critical element of timing is already blown to hell. the way all that fear falls away the instant he's in the air, because he's responsible for his crew. "we're losing her" "no we're not!" he's going to keep his goddamn crew alive. his insistence that he can bring her down safely, even when it doesn't matter. when it would be easier, and safer, and smarter to bail out. dickie's going to die whether or not curt manages the gentlest landing in the world, but fuck, he has to try. he can't not try. it's such a vicious contrast to quinn's choice when babyface is trapped in the ball turret, and it breaks my fucking heart.

all this is nuanced by the fact that curt's story is one of the narrative changes masters of the air made— curt biddick did not die trying to set his plane down so his dying co-pilot could have a shot at survival. in reality, curt biddick burned to death holding his fortress level so that the rest of the crew could safely bail out. he was known as a hard luck pilot, though, and i think the changes successfully walk the very fine line of serving the narrative (see: parallel with quinn and babyface) while simultaneously honoring the spirit of the events being portrayed.

you know that i knew that the regensburg-schweinfurt raid was a shitshow and that i was prepared to watch people die, but god, curt's death still hit me like a ton of bricks. it's so well done, and the acting is phenomenal from start to finish. curt biddick, the man that you were. barry keoghan, the man that you are.

anyway! thank u for the ask! hope u like the fuckin' essay you got in response!

inbox me one (1) thing you want to know about me

[merakiui]

I have arrived for..

HAPPY MERA DAYYYYY!! 🎉✨

I might be a bit early for you though but in our place it's 11/11!! Happy birthday to our dear Mera and may all the gacha lords give her the card that she had been yearning for and for you to have fun on your very special day!

... may tako (ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ).. OR ANY OF YOUR FAVES COME HOME TO YOU~~

My gift to you is a brainworm for your birthday! As the queendom has said there is only one birthday for 366 days (it's a leap year) so happy birthday to you~

Skully J. Graves have kicked Tako out of your top fave (GOOD FOR YOU!) and so here is a brainworm for dear skully.

Skully is the King of Halloween and it is just befitting for him to have a queen just like how Jack has Sally. Many fans of him states here that skully would like a step sister or how he'll like you wearing something in the victorian era (or his era). I've got this idea out of your fic with Riddle with his father-in-law as a toy maker so, what if that's how skully met you? as a porcelain doll that he wouldn't have thought existed.

(I haven't been up to date much with his character but I'll try!) His mother who remarried a doll maker, from clay to wax to cloth he could make any tips but for Skully he has a favorite one, the human sized porcelain doll that his dear step father has made. So pretty, so calm.. surely it was made for him

Skullys been practicing wooing and courting someone with you, you wouldn't judge his shy self, just taking it with a soft smile that he thinks that deep down you were smiling at him, softly laughing as you think he's quite adorable with how he fumbles and stutters, he knew you'd accept him as how he is

But one day he heard that the doll is finally being delivered to the person who has commissioned the doll and he is desperate, what do you mean his doll is being taken away?? he couldn't just take it and hide it in his room and make his dear father who makes his mother happy pay for his mistakes so he volunteers to come with to deliver the doll, giving it a promise that he'd be back to take what's his..

and when they finally arrive at the manor, he stops. he stops and stares at the moving doll beside their customer that mysteriously looks too much like his doll who's in the box.

you were made just for him, weren't you?

hahaha I'm not that good with writing my thoughts out but I hope this at least got the brainworm through! happy Mera day once again~~ 🎁

PS. I love any name Mera gives to me hihi

-mafia tako/mera day anon

AAAAA DEAREST MAFIA TAKO ANON, THANK YOU!!!!! :D I feel like it would be much too egotistical if I gave you an anon name after myself (^^;;;), so I hope mafia tako anon is just as lovely a name!!! <3 now as for this delicious brain worm......... >:D

Ooooo I just love the idea of Skully falling head over heels for a doll, only to have his entire world shaken when it turns out there's a real person this doll is based on!!! >w< it could only be the work of fate that brought him to you!! And while he still treasures the doll very much, he quite likes the sound of your voice and the animated ways in which you move and exist. Stalking admiring you when you go out into town to do your shopping or when you're out on dates with your beloved (who shouldn't even be in the picture if you ask Skully >:( he wants to be your lover and he will,,, one day).

Skully who is so certain you'll love him in the same way he loves you. After all, he practiced kissing with you (the doll) and even professed his love dozens of times, and you accepted it with a wordless smile!!! So he's not sure why you (the real, living, moving you) is so frightened when he breaks into your home. He's sorry for being so rude and inviting himself in, but you just haven't been replying to his letters and he just wants to finally introduce himself in person... please don't be scared!! >_< waaa so delusional,,,

[formosusiniquis]

🪱 Wiggle Wednesday🪱

Thank you @paperbackribs who tagged me last week, I saw it while I was in class and immediately forgot until I saw people posting their things today. But I'm always excited to share my current brainworms

This is a scene from a fic that I pick at every now and then, so it's basically always on the brain. It started as something about Lucas and Steve and trying to explain away the slight anachronism of Steve (popular and rich) being in Nikes before Jordan made them cool (thank you Air) and it has turned into something much more about Lucas and also his Mom relating through a shared love of basketball and Steve is also there.

It’s a Friday night after the end of the world, and strangely Lucas is at a basketball game.

Or maybe it’s only strange because it’s so normal.

A Friday night in a small town and there isn’t much to do except support the home team. Only Mom won’t watch football, she calls it barbaric, so she reserves all her team spirit for November when basketball season starts. Lucas’ skin itches a little under the Hawkins Tigers shirt he’s wearing, as he’s pretending to be normal when a couple weeks ago he learned monsters were real. What can he do though? Mrs. Byers has Will on house arrest, Mike is still mourning Eleven, and Dustin hasn’t been allowed out since Will’s Lazarus act.

Maybe he’s being too sensitive. Steve is here, who Lucas mostly knows from Mike complaining about being Nancy’s stupid boyfriend. Steve is playing like everything is fine, even though Lucas knows Steve knows. He heard whispering about it with Nancy when he went to the bathroom the last time he was at Mike’s. But Steve is smiling as he paces down the court. Miles better than the other players around him, when Steve has the ball Lucas feels like he does when he’s watching a real basketball game on the couch with his Mom.

If Steve can act like things are normal. If he can sink three pointer after rebound after assist, maybe it’s okay that Lucas is wearing his Tiger green. He floats down the court and everyone cheers. But no one cheers right. When #21 Hagan gets a rebound off of Seymour’s best player, a girl’s voice screams so loud it makes his throat hurt. No one cheers that way for Steve. It’s just excitement for the game, not for him and the way he is playing.

When the game ends, Hawkins 73: Seymour 42, and the crowd storms the court Lucas stands by his Mom in the bleachers. She hates feeling the push of the crowd against her and as he gets older, and people’s hands get rougher, he’s starting to understand. He’s too old to be caught standing by his Mom though. After everything, he knows better than to move too far away from her; going to the game with your Mom is one thing, being the kid getting called out over the intercom because she can’t find you would be life ruining.

Lucas watches the thinning crowd while he waits. Parents and girlfriends crowding their sweaty players. He doesn’t want to get caught looking at any of those boys for too long now that they aren’t playing. He isn’t sure why. So he keeps looking for something familiar.

Steve is standing beside a short, dark haired man who’s got what his father calls a beer gut. He doesn’t look anything like Steve, but he’s also the only adult anywhere near him. He’s the only person at all that’s really near Steve. They’re talking excitedly about something. He claps Steve on the back and whatever he says next has Steve looking down toward the floor.

“Is that Steve’s dad?” he asks his mom before thinking about why that might be a weird question to ask her.

“Who?” The way she says it makes him sure she hadn’t actually heard the question. She’d caught a name, when he interrupted her conversation with the lady next to them, but not enough to answer. It’s a free chance to drop the issue. To say sorry, never mind, and go back to watching people move on the floor below them.

“That guy,” she slaps his hand down as he goes to point. “The guy next to Steve, number 8, is that his dad?”

“How do you know him?” The question, instead of an answer, startles him enough that he looks at her instead of Steve. Stern, he knows he doesn’t want to lie to her, but he also isn’t sure how to say that this random high school boy saved two of his best friends’ older siblings' lives.

“He’s Nancy’s boyfriend. Mike talks about him.”

If he’d just waited. He would have gotten his question answered without asking Mom. They both watch as that man says one more thing to Steve, shakes his hand, and walks out of the gym. “I don’t see Nancy here.” Because they both know he doesn’t really need his other question answered anymore.

“I don’t think she really likes sports.”

Mom sucks her teeth, a judgmental tchk that has heat climbing the back of his neck when it's not even for him. "Well that's a shame, he's a good player." There's finally enough space on the floor that they could leave. He wants, desperately, for them to just go cause something about this conversation is making him feel guilty again. "Do you want to to say hi?"

There's nothing he wants less than that. Lucas thinks if he has to go up to this guy, who went toe to toe with a monster, while his mom trails behind he'll die. Lucas thinks if he says hi to a guy who has only seen him maybe twice in the context of Mike Wheeler's house, and has to sit there while Steve blankly accepts his congrats he'll melt into the floor.

"Can we just go home? I still have homework."

And some tags to @fuctacles, @cauldronoflove, @thefreakandthehair, @stevespookington, @stevieharringtonwifeguy

@eriquin, @grasslandgirl, @augustjustice, and anyone else who wants to play!

[mokureen]

hi trigun nation i'm back again with the brainworms (and a tiny bit late for the tristamp anniversary). presenting: volume 10, vashwood and the couch in song form!

the lyrics (under the cut) are what i imagined some of wolfwood's thoughts would've been during chapter 64 . the main vocals are wolfwood and the backing vocals (in brackets) are vash! i tried to squeeze in as many references to the manga as possible ❤️🤞

lyrics: that night i stood with a gun to your head  i called you a monster. i was wrong, and i was scared you knew. i know you knew the hardest thing is you would’ve let me shoot.

you prayed to a god that you didn’t believe in  while i sat by your side and did my best to breathe in you begged. oh god, you begged  for all the days that we had hoped we’d have. 

you wear your smile like your armour, wield your laughter like it's your gun but your smile, your real one, is brighter than every sun i missed it. i miss it but i’m sorry i asked for it all the same.

i think back to the things we both wish we had said three words we always lingered on, but hid behind our violence instead ("i love you." i love you) i wish i had been brave enough to say.

and i’m running out of time (please wait for me) and i’m leaving you behind (there's a ticket still free) oh love, please don’t cry (spend your tomorrows with me) i don’t want to die.