#The X-Files: Mulder and Vulnerability

[randomfoggytiger]

The X-Files: Mulder and Vulnerability

(Dedicated to @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure~. Merry Christmas!)

I've made a post about Mulder's emotional journey before (post here, it's a good read) but not about the broader scope of his vulnerabilities in past and present relationships.

So! Let's start at the very beginning-- after all, it's the very best place to start.

Mulder's Emotional Expression: Ground Zero

The Pilot gives us a clue of Mulder's emotional barometer: within thirty minutes we've learned that his nature is naturally trusting despite distrusting everyone, that he is tactile and touch-starved, and that he is shocked anyone would seek or could derive comfort from him during a crisis.

Mulder strings Scully along for the first twenty-five minutes of the episode before she runs to his room, terrified of a mosquito bite, and promptly clings to him in a mixture of ebbing fear and relief. As noted in my other post, Mulder is taken aback-- shaking his head in confusion and awkwardly patting her on the shoulder, following her with his eyes then his feet to a set of chairs-- before handing over his motel bed and heartbreaking backstory. From then on out, his hand gravitates to her back; and he factors her naturally into his rhythms, e.g. running after her to share his awe at the experience in the woods.

This incident locks in Mulder's investment very early on; and the events of the next two episodes-- rescuing him from the base in Deep Throat and taking his side on a man-monster case in Squeeze-- solidifies that quickset bond even further.

His reliance on Scully shifts after her support in Conduit, exposing itself in (even more) blatantly territorial jealousy in The Jersey Devil, fervent appeal in Ice, dedicated determination in Lazarus, and cloistered, singular trust in E.B.E. and Tooms.

But a little interesting thing happens in both Conduit and Roland that singles them out from the rest of Season 1: Mulder is brought to the brink of tears, breaking down to himself in a church and almost letting them fall later in Roland's care home.

As we see often throughout the series, Mulder rarely gives in to his emotions, and (almost) never completely. While this could be a symptom of being raised in the 60s and 70s with very poor parental support after his sister's abduction, it's even more enlightening-- and distressing-- to notate when Mulder cries and why he stops.

Mulder cries in Conduit because no one is there to check his tears; Mulder cries in Roland because Roland is less conscious of societal expectations and responds more openly to Mulder's honest fears. And Roland is the only person Mulder almost cries in front of for years: during Scully's abduction and return and near-death, he sought the solitude of his apartment; during his "sister's" return and death, he tried to keep his "weakness" from Scully and his father; even during his father's apology and murder, he put his pain aside and focused on revenge. It's not until Herrenvolk that Mulder finally cries in front of Scully, and only briefly; and after that, not for another three years.

And Mulder's reactions to his "slip ups" are the death knell to any other possible speculation. David Duchovny nailed the self-rebuking, ashamed, almost fearful look Mulder gives himself and his surroundings whenever his sobs become loud or noticeable: ashamed, afraid he'll get caught, certain he'll be rebuked for his weakness.

So, what is the deciding factor between his tears in solitude and his open weeping? Simply put: activated childhood guilt.

He "failed" in End Game, and chokes on his regret and tears while being torn down by his father. He "failed" in Anasazi, and his father dies, gurgling on blood and begging for forgiveness. He "failed" in Oubliette, and cries publicly over Lucy Householder's drowned body. He "failed" in Herrenvolk, and sobs on Scully's shoulder after turning her for immediate and necessary comfort. He "failed" in Paper Hearts, and never lets the tears spill over. He "failed" in Gethsemane and Redux II, and stifles his agony in pillows and shame. He "failed" in Kitsunegari, and almost crumbles on the floor next to his "partner." He "failed" in Sein und Zeit, and finally breaks under the irreparability of his mother's death.

Further, the separate pains that afflict Mulder might seem similar-- assigning guilt and blame to himself for a loved one's death-- but they are very different: Scully's abduction, return, near death, and cancer, as well as his father's appeal and sudden murder, were a result of his work. Yes, those haunt him; but in maturer ways, weighing-in motives other than his own. However, the continual roller coaster of Samanthas waltzing in and out of his life and his mother's two deathbeds are a direct result of his "failure" to save his little sister; and the internal wounds he and his mother carry (until her death and his closure) touch the very wick of his soul, burning away the barriers he's erected to maintain what little peace he clings to.

The Samantha Angle

Samantha is the quickest way to squeeze tears from Mulder.

As a child, Mulder was incredibly expressive person, jumping around in glee, stomping on his Spock ear, and yelling happily while running circles around his sister (Dreamland II); and that was still evident during his prepubescent years (Demons and Little Green Men.)

But he stopped emoting after Samantha's abduction, just as his father's affection seemed to fade (Bill Mulder filming his family in Dreamland II contrasted to his behavior in Season 2) and his mother's gregarious attention became restrained (Tena in Dreamland II versus Tena the rest of the series.) The loss of his sister changed the dynamics of the Mulder household; and, like Mulder said in the Pilot, they never recovered. For him, emotional guarding became all-important, as he now had to answer to an unforgiving father and nursemaid his grieving mother (see post here and here.)

Even after Scully ran to Mulder for safety and comfort (i.e. Pilot, Irresistible, and Milagro), he never quid pro quo'd until Tena "died"-- both times-- and there was no optimistic hope for Samantha's return left to cling to.

Conduit is the first time Mulder sheds tears-- the most unrestrained moment early on in the series-- wallowing in grief over the failure of this case and its similarities to his sister's story.

End Game destroys the second chance of Colony; and Mulder barely holds himself together as his father let him take all the blame for the "death" of his sister.

Anasazi is the second time Mulder loses emotional control; but it's later tempered by the revelation of his father's work, weakening and breaking this particular guilty tie to Samantha.

Oubliette is the first of two nightmarish cases relating to Samantha; and, despite his best efforts, Lucy Householder dies. Her death is the one and only time that Mulder sheds tears in public where everyone could see.

Talitha Cumi and Herrenvolk gives Mulder a cure for Tena and third chance with his sister (or another clone), then yanks both of them away. Too raw to reinforce his safeguards, he cries for Tena at her bedside and again-- and for the first time-- on Scully's shoulder. (However, the violent passion of Conduit has to wait for Sein und Zeit to publicly exhibit.)

Paper Hearts: Mulder walks through the motions of his coping skills-- minimization and avoidance-- shutting his emotions away with the last cloth heart.

Demons and Redux II shows the depths of Mulder's unfettered pain, torment, and anguish... but even still, he won't allow himself to completely give way, either for his "memories" or another lost Samantha. (It's easy to lump his cries at Scully's bedside in the same vein as the fault he feels for Samantha; but as mentioned above-- and will be touched on again soon-- they are very separate griefs.)

Sein und Zeit is the end-all-be-all for Mulder: he cracks, resolve crumbling; and years of repressed emotions spill out messily after Tena Mulder's suicide. That she hadn't told him, that she hadn't had the faith in him to give her answers before her death, that she had left him to clean up the mess he'd "wrecked" in her life without the consolation of a last, loving goodbye destroyed him; and he finally falls apart in Scully's arms, noisy and tearful and broken. (And still up the next morning, putting his grief aside to help another family who lost their own little girl.)

But it's not just about Samantha anymore, is it? The guilt about "failing" her spread to every area of his life, consuming the relationship with his mother, his father, and to a lesser degree his friends, partners, and even Scully. It's an aspect of his vulnerability that was always on the surface, able to be easily twisted, manipulated, or extorted by sundry nefarious characters.

Mulder's Past Relationships: Then and Again

Mulder's past friendships and relationships bubble up from his past here and there, giving us ample opportunity to see how to exploit that vulnerability without directly relating to his childhood trauma.

Season 1 Mulder is more likely to reciprocate disdain with his adversaries than forge new connections; but that soft underbelly of his shown briefly in the Pilot and Conduit is revealed and targeted when ex-best buddy Jerry Lamana, ex-girlfriend Pheobe Green, and former partner and mentor Reggie Perdue filter back into his life. Even the manifestation of his childhood aspirations and dreams ends up a victim to the paranormal, inflicting yet another lash from the whip of distorted childhood nostalgia.

Jerry Lamana swoops in from the past in Ghost in the Machine, surprising Mulder with a hug and a backstab for old times' sake. Yet, despite his spite and sticky-finger ways, Jerry worms his way into his old partner's sympathy by hitting on that old, old trigger button: "Let's face it: I was tagging along. How would you know, Mulder? You were too busy dazzling them up there on the highwire."

Lieutenant Colonel Marcus Belt, Mulder's childhood hero in the flesh, ultimately betrays and disappoints his admirer as well as his crew and mission at large. And while Mulder is right-- that the man was being compelled to do something almost outside his will-- he clings too much to Belt's speech and less to the facts at hand: the colonel's appeal to Mulder's humanity won him more grace over his actions than he might justly deserve.

Phoebe Green, cruel and manipulative, exploits her old boyfriend's insecurities by transforming herself into the repentant victim, successfully playing at sultry detective to both Mulder and her new side piece. (She also reveals an underlying attraction Mulder has to danger: that he is drawn to it in spite of his distrust for it.)

Reggie Perdue is the first person from Mulder's past that he is comfortable with: a private, widowed, aspiring writer who shared his dreams with no one but his young partner. Unfortunately, those dreams are never realized; and it's his death, as well as the young agent who was murdered by the same criminal, that digs into the depths of Mulder's self-punishment and regret. And guilt, of course.

In the aftermath of Scully's return in One Breath, Mulder's past dynamics change: the people who slink back into his life are ones whose respect he craves, covets, and will bend over backwards to earn and keep. These relationships deal heavy damage to his mature adult life.

Bill Mulder: what is there not to say about Bill Mulder (post here)? But the distance in his and his son's relationship hits home when Mulder goes in for a hug and Bill deflects with a handshake. Mulder's face says it all: it'd been so long since he'd seen his father that he forgot the house rules-- Bill Mulder doesn't allow hugs. And that doesn't change until sins are atoned in Anasazi.

Bill Patterson, a bitter man with a begrudging respect, stomps into his pupil's life and on all his toes and fingers only to end the posturing in disgrace. Mulder's old teacher, it seems, was one of the first people to turn on him for his spooky reputation, mocking yet coveting the Golden Boy's incredible ability at the same time. He and Mulder fall into old patterns: baring teeth and raising hackles while trying to win the other's approval; but Mulder's emotional progress saves him from following Patterson's mad method into the black hole of insanity.

Diana Fowley, the more polished ex from Mulder's past, further underlines Mulder's draw to the allure of danger, unpredictability, and seedy underbelly of human nature. His dream of her in Amor Fati tried to transform her into both-- ala the nurses in Kill Switch-- but couldn't quite balance domestic trust and happiness with the real Diana, a woman driven by advancement over loyalty, who would grip a smoking man's shoulder and hand for a leg up.

These relationships were relatively easy to resolve when compared to the damage of his childhood; but both of these past dynamics pale in comparison to the complexities of Mulder's present, with himself and with the most important person in his life.

Another Aspect of Mulder's Vulnerability: Scully

Despite many disasters happening throughout his and Scully's first year of partnership, it's not until Darkness Falls that the switch between friendly concern to ingrained guilt occurs: Mulder, before this point, gives tips and advice-- even yelling at her recklessness in Beyond the Sea-- but her near death in the woods is the turning point of his personal responsibility. It imprints so deeply on his mind that he denies Scully's offer to let herself go down by his side in Tooms, preferring that she be saved even if his career is doomed.

Then Little Green Men, then Duane Barry, then Ascension, then One Breath.

One Breath is another turning point-- the most important-- when the guilt from Scully's (second) near-death split from the corrosive damage of Samantha's abduction: during the case, Skinner posits Mulder could be just as liable as the men who did this to his partner; and Mulder, wrung-out and worn down, weeps alone in his apartment. However, Scully's resolve and "resurrection" proved that she didn't blame him, that the men who did this to her would be held responsible, and that she was an equal warrior in this battle to find out what happened to his sister. From this point on, the wrongs done to Scully are placed in a distinct category related only to his abilities as a partner-- in the fullest sense of that word-- rather than his failures as an older brother or "Spooky" Golden Boy or know-it-all basement conspiracist. His personal shields, sarcastic reservations, and kneejerk deflections are effectively gone between them, (though they do pop up in future, defensive fights.)

And while this is healthy for their partnership and future romantic relationship, it opens the floodgates for an even greater trauma: failing her as an adult with capabilities denied to him as a child-- Scully becoming collateral in his enemies' quest to stop him.

Firewalker doubles down on this new, internal shift: Mulder gently discourages Scully from joining the case, gently encourages her to stay where it's "safe", and rushes back, overjoyed and almost overcome at finding her alive in the finale.

The brand of Mulder Guilt is peppered liberally throughout the rest of the show: comforting and accepting comfort after Pfaster and both Modells, needing her reassurance for growing old and dying too soon, presenting a birthday keychain instead of a desk (because of her cancer), being shaken by images of a past life, then losing his faith and almost losing her all within a span of five intense years.

It's a new angle to his blossoming vulnerability: the Mulder who will sacrifice himself to help others-- be it victims or acquaintances or loved ones-- has tied his happiness and emotional vulnerability to a person he could lose (but doesn't believe he will) any ordinary day on the job. It's a precarious position for them both; but is daily proof that he trust her more than life itself.

Mulder's Character Arc (ala David Duchovny)

Mulder is Mulder and will struggle with this side of himself for the rest of his life; but he's makes significant personal development over the first seven years of his partnership.

"Rigid in a wonderful way" and "My one-in-five billion," and "You've kept me honest, made me a whole person" are incredible milestone markers on this journey; but the gold star has to be handed to David Duchovny for writing Mulder's three biggest breakthroughs.

In The Unnatural, Mulder's "joyless myopia" is whipped into clearer focus when Dales opens his eyes to "life on this planet" and "the mystery of the heart"; and because of that experience, he races to the ballfield and calls Scully in, carefree and exuberant and wanting to share this-- and so much more-- with her.

This episode ties inseparably into the scenes David wrote in The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati. Mulder's secret desires, his dream of a normal life with a loving family surrounded by safety and peace is the second step of his baseball lesson, exposing how much he wants craves "normal" but without the luxury of being able to live that life. Besides, that's not who he and Scully are. So, he resurrects out of his dreams, ready to take what he has and turn it into a new and better reality, Scully at his side.

This, again, ties in perfectly with Hollywood A.D.: Scully and he and nothing between, eschewing the glitz of showbiz for a brand of glamor all their own.

Mulder's vulnerability has evolved, shifting from distance and deflection to desperation and despair to dedication and devotion: a testament to the obstacles he's hurtled in order to live each day proud of himself, and free.

May we all aspire to emulate Fox Mulder in that way.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[katebeckets]

how to say "I love you" in x-files [4/?] ⤷ 2.02 — “The Host”

They don't want us working together, Scully... and right now, that's the only reason I can think of to stay.

[super-lupus]

The way Mulder says "and my report will reflect that, in case you're worried." to Scully in 7x7 makes my brain fuzz out. Like it's so obvious. Like how could she be scared about that. Like 'of COURSE I'm going to lie on an official FBI document about you killing someone in order to protect you, silly. Don't even worry abt it.'

And her reaction is perfect too because she almost looks like she wants to chide him, tell him that that's against policy (and probably a crime??) and it's not the right thing to do. But she knows she would do the same thing for him and that she has before. So who is she to talk?

[nemocat-el]

I’m not going to paint or clean up this one

[bisexualfbiagents]

Actually, all I ever wanted in life was to be left alone. Don't we all? So just my luck that I'd eventually become an alien abductee. Now I'm never alone.

CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF THE X FILES Day 5: Favorite Arc Part Two ➤ The Suspicious Crash of Flight 549 from Tempus Fugit (4.17) and Max (4.18)

[gracemarkss]

thinking about “but there seem to be only two of them” in detour…two creatures learning to adapt to a hostile environment, fighting to survive, fending off that which encroaches and invades…strange cryptids that baffle outside observers and defy understanding. alone with each other. inextricably linked.

[deathsbestgirl]

can't remember if i ever phrased it this way on here, but the way mulder & scully talk to other during vulnerable moments is just. so precious. it's the way they talk to children. their voice goes so soft, so gentle. and they deserve that more than i can say. they are not their capable adult selves in those moments. mulder is the twelve year old boy who lost his sister. scully is the little girl who hasn't yet perfected her mask. their hearts are ripped open, their souls bared to whatever cruelty they're facing. and the only person who ever gives them the grace to be present & let them be vulnerable is each other. something i *truly* don't think they've experienced before.

[lesbianmarrow]

mulder is actually so it will come back by hozier……honey don’t feed it it will come back…….

[observeroftheuniverse]

Started a new playthrough of Fallout 4 with my wife, and we made our player character Mulder.

We had and romanced Cait as a companion, and it made me really want to see an MSR AU with Mulder as Sole Survivor and Scully as Cait.

But I'll be damned if I write it.

[carefulfears]

thinking tonight about how much has been written over the past 30 years about the x files' subversion of gender roles, mulder as a 90s sci-fi hero who is the more emotional and open of the two, who cries on screen regularly, who is empathetic to a fault and deeply devoted to helping the vulnerable. scully as the rational one, the science brain, the person who is taken seriously. the unique view of a relationship to the paranormal and occultism, which, from its rise in the 1940s, was originally viewed as feminine and something irrational that women were comforted by. and how all of this is true and interesting but, to me, none of it is the biggest marker of gendered experiences in their characters.

at the end of the day, their characters both respond exactly as men and women in our society do, in the ways that they respond to violence.

mulder, in his mid-20s, started at the FBI working in the violent crimes division

where his profiling abilities, his way of being able to get into the mind of a killer, were revered

it's also where, in his words, he first saw monsters.

this show always deeply understood that the scariest monsters were not the vile creatures, they were violent men, and some of the most memorable villains on the show (john lee roche, luther boggs, john barnett) are resurfaced serial killers that mulder previously caught in his violent crimes days.

but mulder's background is in behavioral science, and he always wants to understand what makes someone how they are

and his positive worldview requires him to view every act of evil as the consequence of a larger cause, as not being senseless

which is why he wants to believe that men who are killing women are only doing so out of a biological imperative to survive

or out of a misguided attempt to SAVE them

meanwhile, scully is affected by the brutalization of women on an emotional level.

she hangs back at the crime scene and the police station to compose herself, while the men she's working with march up to a woman's desecrated corpse

she knows that even when mulder is right, even when the killer is acting out of a biological need for survival

that doesn't make it any better

because the impact on the women that he brutalized is more than physical, it's more than biological, it's more than any rational reasoning that he might have behind why he did it

she knows that it doesn't matter

and she doesn't need to try to understand. she doesn't need to know what the killer's reasoning is.

she already knows why men brutalize women

she's experienced it, she doesn't need to study it.

(you can read the second part of this post here)

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder Is Not Allowed to Mourn

While working my way through Tempus Fugit and Max, this scene struck me.

Mulder walks over to Max's corpse, somber and mournful; carefully unzips the plastic coverlet from his friend's face; and stares at it deeply before automatically reaching down to explore the body as evidence. A cry catches his attention, and he looks up to a family of mourners a few feet away. Mulder watches them, then stares back down with a strange expression-- as if he is moved by their grief but denied that same open display of emotion.

**Note**: While I don't inherently disagree with these takes, the hypothesis below is, overall, ill-formed. But it shall be left up for posterity's sake~.

We know the extensive history of The X-Files's traumas on one Dana Scully. It's rather self-evident, for one; but it's also obvious, played up for plot points to grow her character or progress the plot forward. And that principle extends to Mulder, too, right? Yes... but it differs in one key area.

Mulder and Scully suffer gendered violence repeatedly on the show. The Syndicate often reduces Scully down to her body and reproductive system (reluctantly coming to see her as Mulder's equal, if not their own, because of her intelligence and professionalism.) Mulder, however, is beaten over the head with trauma, and isn't allowed to mourn-- is supposed to, as the saying goes, "take it like a man."

And this wasn't an accidental flaw of (chiefly) Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz's writing: it was intentional. Nor was its bent misogynistic. Mulder suffered trauma; and the exploration and revelation and closure of that trauma served as the series' backbone. Specifically, Mulder suffered trauma through a gendered lens, propagated by his closest mentors (e.g. his parents and Bill Patterson), his label-and-dismiss peers (e.g. "Spooky Mulder"), his higher ups, and his society at large. Men are supposed to suffer in silence, if they must; but most importantly, they're not supposed to suffer at all.

We see this belief stem back to Mulder's parents, to the Consortium generation, to A.D. Skinner, to the 90s vulnerable males who feel a sense of shame or discomfort at being "failures" or "victims". Each crumbles or bears their cross on their shoulders as a form of duty. They feel, as Mulder demonstrates in Tempus Fugit, that they aren't allowed to mourn, minimizing and backing away from their pain for a later (inconvenient) date. They can feel loss, and sorrow; but aren't supposed to feel it for long.

Mulder's and Scully's characters served to break traditional barriers: he the believer, she the skeptic. He opened himself back up to painful memories to recover what he lost while she repressed and avoided them. He more openly expresses pain, she does not. However, the narrative-- or David Duchovny, or both-- shows time and again that Mulder also serves as a magnifying glass of mens' issues and expectations. In the early seasons, Mulder's trauma is exploited by shadowy informants, ex-girlfriends, malicious higher-ups, and his own mother. Whenever Scully is in peril, Mulder is expected to leave her in the dust and run after the truth; and is yelled or sneered at when he deviates from that expectation. In Fight the Future, it's revealed his father spared him so Mulder could grow up and stop the Conspiracy: yes because Bill loved him, but also because he expected his son to "save the world." These Mulder moments aren't written as a glorification of the strong and silent suffering male, either: in fact, Carter and Spotnitz often slow the script down just enough to touch on the toll it takes on Mulder-- and the toll it took on Bill Mulder, CSM, Bill Patterson, and countless others.

While Scully's traumas are explored and the men who do it to her are demonized, Mulder's are largely shoved aside-- despite them serving as the central mission of The X-Files-- because Mulder himself shoves them aside. Even though Mulder is the "believer", he is still a man; and despite breaking many of society's rules and expectations regularly (and with delight), Mulder is still twisted up in self-loathing and shame, seeing his needs-- and an expression of those needs-- as secondary to everyone else's. He is desperate to save his sister and his partner; he is devastated he can't save his father, his mother, and (again) his sister. But he constantly redirects that devastation away from himself, not facing it as Scully allows herself to do in therapy or after her remission (or after Milagro.)

There is an inherent message left unaddressed in the middle of each script, scene, and episode: Mulder is repressed, Scully is seeking repression. Mulder and Scully both judge themselves on societies' expectations for men, and both feel shame when indulging in painful emotions. But while Scully will seek space for herself-- will grieve or cry in the shelter of isolation-- Mulder refuses to allow himself that relief. And despite not being "that type of show", the writers (usually) slow down the scene to allow brief glimpses into the wrongness of that expectation and its damage for both.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[pennyserenade]

power dynamics and the way the x-files pilot subverts and meets our expectations of them

in the pilot, what we learn of mulder, we first learn through scully. she laughs, almost girlishly, about the reputation that precedes him, only concealing her joy when she realizes the others in the room are not in on the joke. these men are solemn, not because they don’t agree about the nature of agent mulder, but because mulder is no laughing matter to them; he is a threat and scully - notably religious, the cross on her neck, scientifically driven, and hopelessly young - is the weapon they hope to aim in his direction. on the outside, she is the perfect candidate: honest, intelligent, skeptical. this, they are sure, is the answer to their long standing problem.

from the beginning we get a sense that there is an imbalance placed between mulder and scully. in the next scene, it becomes visual: when mulder meets scully, he is hunched over photos, sitting in a chair. she is the taller one, the one with nothing to lose, and he is the man they’ve thrown in the basement, hidden away like the joke she’s preemptively laughed at. it is important that we meet him as a man leaning, almost protectively, over his vulnerabilities: his work.

but then he stands and he brings up her thesis. she has rewritten einstein, an act unfathomable and crazy in its own right. mulder does not wish to go down without a fight; he challenges her immediately, like he’s been waiting his entire life for this moment. he calls her “scully,” puts a professional distance between them, while also making the most of her medical and scientific advice. though he stands taller than her physically at this point, he doesn’t ever aim to reach above her. mulder is not interested in the ‘90s workplace misogyny, invalidating her simply because she’s been sent to debunk his own work. he only wants her to understand. for a moment, they become equals. he even makes a joke of himself, asking her if she believes in extraterrestrials bemusedly. whatever advantaged he has over her physically, he begins to concede in this initial meeting. he wants equality; he wants understanding. nothing more.

this visual imbalance is important, and we find ourselves returning to it in the airplane. as they travel to the plausible state of oregon, mulder lays on his back and scully sits across the aisle from him. again, she is sitting taller than he is. his vulnerabilities are still out in the open. a casefile - his work - sits in her lap, and he lies with his body turned away from her, his eyes closed. they don’t ever reach equal playing grounds in this scene, because they are ascending on his life’s work. he is operating on the belief that she’s been sent to debunk everything he believes in, and we as an audience can’t be too sure she’s not.

then the airplane shakes, tips, and, for a moment, provides us with a physical unbalance. it is the tilting of the scales. he turns to her with a wide grin after. she looks visibly disturbed. he is still lower than she is—but it seems he’s got the upper hand as he cracks a joke. we learn of mulder as a man confident in the face of his trials and tribulations. the lack of power does not rob him of him of his beliefs, but simply reinforces them. it is scully who is shaken. the power does not make her confident or certain. maybe, we begin to suspect, it isn’t meant to belong to her. maybe he is reading her wrong.

in the car, they are back on equal grounds. he is guiding her through the case details, making glib remarks, and she is asking him about the details. the radio goes wonky, they get out, and he paints the road orange. he doesn’t tell her why. he won’t. she looks almost girlish, standing there, clueless, with her hands on her hips. it is he who gains the power in this moment, taller, in the know. he is less concerned with equality than he is the protecting of his work and his beliefs. he doesn’t look to knock her down, but he’s not interested in lifting her up.

the next time the visual imbalances are most interesting is when she comes to his hotel room. perhaps this is the most notable of them all. initially, scully comes to his room because she is terrified about the marks on her back. he towers over her in the beginning of this scene, but it is not long before he is on his knees, inspecting her. she is so scared of something she claims she doesn’t believe in, and he has every right to stand back and laugh at her. but he doesn’t. he does laugh, but its not malicious; it’s kind. he tells her about his own bug bites and when he does stand back up, she crashes into his arms. he holds her. if he’s got the power in this scene, he is not interested in using it against her. he is taller and she is more vulnerable in every way, but he seems surprised by it. this is a beautiful segue into the next scene.

mulder sits on the ground and tells his barest truths. scully got naked and scared for him, and he sees fitting that he do the same. she sits on his bed, higher than he is, and he takes the ground. he talks about the sister he can’t find and how it ruined his family, and how he can’t get to the information he wants. he accuses her of being a spy, and she tells him that she isn’t.

in a moment of absolute trust, he rises to his knees. they become equal, seeing eye to eye. he tells her about the hypnosis, the drive he feels, how this is more important to him than anything. and it is so earnest and intense, so absolutely serious, that we must be saved by a ringing telephone to escape it. this sets the groundwork for the rest of the series, and the foundation for mulder and scully’s relatjonship as a whole. they become partners—he allows for this in this scene. he wants to believe her.

the power dynamics between them have been constantly challenged, and at times, have subverted our expectations. we watch as mulder, often times the taller one of the pair, seeks to bring he and scully to equal playing grounds. we watch as scully, the one who is offered many opportunities to have the upper hand and the power, stumble her way through it or put herself in a position where she loses it. mulder and scully, we learn, are best when they are equal, seeing eye to eye.

[running-in-the-dark]

since that episode I haven't been able to concentrate on the plot much anymore - I need to study him, not like a bug, more like a painting. I'm just obsessed with the way they frame him and how beautiful it is.

and then this happened and just made everything even worse!

😳 okay yeah this is totally fine, yeah

[scullysflannel]

i just watched paper hearts and i love how scully is so determined to act as mulder’s protector. she just wants to keep him safe from everything that threatens to hurt him including himself. their embrace in the end reinforces that i think, it’s not an embrace where they’re on equal ground, mulder is sitting and scully is standing so he’s visually subordinate to her and you can really feel how scully perceives him as vulnerable and just wants to protect him. i love her 💗

paper hearts is the cheese orb episode to me. (cheese orb is a genre of x-files episode that exists if you've let this post into your life.) she'll call him out when they're alone and then turn around and defend him and keep all his secrets. it's such a classic vince gilligan lens on the insularity of their relationship and the choices scully is making to keep it that way. I love that the staging of that hug makes mulder into a little boy, waist high. the whole episode does that. the pink t shirt (definitive!), the image of him digging in the dirt (boy move), his dreams: this is the mulder who was frozen in childhood every bit as much as his sister was, and scully sees him and has to protect him. and that's not even getting into the fact that it's all rooted in how horrifying and painful the whole show would be if mulder were wrong about aliens, and if scully were right. so it's essentially scully protecting mulder from herself, too. everyone was on their game with paper hearts. vince gilligan and rob bowman are a power couple

[gracemarkss]

trying to gather my thoughts on unruhe. something about this exchange is so vital to me…about how scully maybe isn’t as natural a seeker as mulder. about how her work as a pathologist is focused on “how” rather than “why”…whereas mulder’s profiling is the inverse. a woman is dead and a man killed her and no amount of probing the inner workings of his psyche, his dreams, his nightmares will remedy that situation. discovering the why doesn’t bring about any deeper sense of justice or peace. because really, no why could ever really explain the mundane horror of a woman’s abduction and murder. if anything, it just more starkly reveals the ugly simplicity of the human capacity for cruelty.

but i also love how later, she leans on the why. she channels mulder and his profiler brain. schnauz even picks up on it (“great. now they got you talking like sigmund freud,” in reference to him calling mulder freud during his interrogation). she asks him why he does it. why her. why this. why did his sister kill herself. why did his father do what he did. part of it’s to keep schnauz talking but it’s also another example of how she reaches for him, even metaphorically, in moments of fear and difficulty.

i also love how this episode, with its themes of unrest and strife and trouble, focuses on scully. mulder is usually the more restless character, always searching and seeking and chasing and moving. but scully is just as, if not maybe even more so. her mother’s remaining daughter. her father’s disappointment. a catholic to her bones, even as she lapses. a woman in a man’s job. who imagines a life to be a husband and kids and big sunday dinners, but who can’t stop following the mad man in the basement. who always insists she’s fine, who locks it all away, who chafes and squirms and explodes in impulsive incendiary bursts. who is always always trying.

there are just some things we don’t or can’t look too deeply into. if god is real, or why the woman in front of us is dead. scully will dig and scrape for proof and explanations for many things, but some interrogations aren’t worth the effort, or the fear of what might be found. some things just are, and they’re too big to move or change or overcome. women die because men kill them. what the hell does it matter?

[deathsbestgirl]

idk how to write reviews at all but i think perihelion dealt with with msiv so well. its all pain & grief & denial that we see in the finale, its complicated and i never felt it reflected what they truly believed or felt. mulder & scully just went through hell. mulder watched his biological father shoot him, they watched william die after trying so hard to find him, and not abandon him. the whole revival is about william even if we don't see him until s11.

perihelion assumes mulder & scully believe csm, because it's something they've both always feared. scully was going to leave csm in en ami because she was suspicious. mulder was always afraid william was an experiment, much like emily. and his birth was traumatic for not just scully & william, but mulder & everyone who helped them (doggett, reyes, skinner).

mulder & scully are so vulnerable when it comes to william, and that's literally what the whole thing is about. and now scully is pregnant again, and they have another child coming under questionable circumstances again!! and now they have more reason for concern because of scully's dna, like that's part of why scully was reignited, why she wanted to find william (and everything in home again with losing her mother, and the visions jackson sent to her).

i don't think you can fault scully or mulder for believing. sure, they have experience with csm, maybe they should know better. but they're also constantly discovering they've possibly believed lies. and this is personal.

i think their relationship develops perfectly in it. they've decided to coparent and move in together. they're both terrified to fail again. what if the x files is all that ties them together, and they're about to lose them again? what if sleeping together doesn't mean the same thing to the other as it does to them? their communication has improved greatly, but they're still mulder & scully, always trying to protect each other & not put the other through more hell than necessary. always extremely independent, as "codependent" as they can be.

and as we have seen many times before, their coping mechanisms conflict and it's addressed. they're together but they're not, as with most of the series. but now it's from a place of knowing what being together is, how their personal struggles impact the other, and a deeper understanding of themselves. and eventually, this only gets them closer. they've always moved at their own pace and perihelion is no different.

it isn't fanfiction, it's meant to fit in with the series and follow the arc of the revival, and take it further. i think it makes complete sense with the scope of the show, and the interests of people today.

and i know i'm probably one of the few in fandom who loves it, but it has so much goodness. the words & phrases & names claudia gray uses are a callback to so many episodes, some widely loved scenes. scully has a friend! she's temporarily working a job maybe harder than her last job as a doctor (until they know the fate of the x files) and it's extremely difficult for her. mulder has no idea what he's gonna do (they'll figure it out). there are new players, some closely related to ones we already know and others who are basically Brand New.

idk!! but in talking about the revival, i also felt the need to throw my two cents in about perihelion. i'm just a big fan and i hope she makes it a series.