#The Underworld Cookbook

[menuthegathering]

Sauté {1}{R}{R}

Instant

Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target.

“Selecting the proper beeble is the key to a good sauté. The pinker the fur and the heartier the yelp, the more succulent the beeble will be when you pop it in your mouth.” —Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, The Underworld Cookbook

Illustrated by Jeff Miracola

2004

[flying-womrats]

replacements for a few LMS mods

If you think you saw this post yesterday, yes you did- then I made a couple edits and realized I should have done it under a readmore in case people reblogged it... So here we go again! These are the possible replacements I found for the littlemssam mods I was using, in case they help anyone else.

Caveats: - Often not a 1:1 replacement. - I only went looking for replacements for mods I was actually using, so this only covers a fraction of her catalog. - Most of these modders still use Curseforge, they're just not exclusive to it.

Additionally, if anyone knows of a replacement for any of the following: Go For A Walk, Improved Meditation Stool, Improved Practical Spells (the improvements to the spells themselves,) No Random Job Offers (I know BosseladyTV has one, but it's CF exclusive,) Purchased Items Delivered By Mail, Release All The Ghosts, or Tea For Children, please drop me an ask! I only request no Curseforge exclusives and no Zer0.

On to the list:

Allow Stoves in University Housing -> Zerbu, No University Housing Restrictions

Auto Employees -> Kuttoe's "X Everywhere" mods, Zerbu's Spawn Refresh

Auto-Light Fireplaces Only When Cold -> Bienchen, fireplaceautonomytweak

Buy Treats via PC -> Bienchen, buypettreat

Calendar Tweaks -> Kuttoe, Less Frequent Prom (caveat: takes time to start working, especially if you're using a longer season setting)

Cookbooks -> ClaudiaSharon, Cook Experimental/Cultural/Jungle Food Without Tasting It First

Immortality Potion Fix -> Kuttoe, Potions Rework (only a half replacement- removes the VFX, but doesn't lock aging like the Scarlet/LMS mod)

Kids Can Walk Dogs -> ChippedSim, Paws & Claws (A Sim's Best Friend module)

More Away Actions -> Bienchen, awayactions (is actually included in the LMS mod)

No Burning Sun in Forgotten Hollow -> TwistedMexi, Daywalkers + Underworlds (caveat: per TMex's comment on the latter, the eternal night is only cosmetic and still requires Daywalkers for vampires to come out at "daytime". Also, Daywalkers affects all worlds. Still interested in a mod closer to LMS's if one exists!)

No Insects Herbalism -> Simularity, Improved Herbalism Potions & Features

No Shoe Sign Animation -> Lotharihoe, Shoe Sign Animation Tweaks (doesn't remove the animation entirely but does stop it from interrupting walking)

No Sick, Dirty, Sad and Hungry Pets -> Bienchen, catanddogsanity

Pregnancy Overhaul ("sims can do more" part) -> Bienchen, pregnantsimscandomore

Pregnancy Overhaul (belly sizes) -> t0nischwartz, No Bump or sonozakisisterssims4, "The belly in pregnancy depends on the number of babies" (the former is simpler but has no equivalent to the "larger belly" option, the latter has a bit more going on but has direct equivalents to LMS's sizes, so take your pick!)

Sleep All Night and Sleep In -> Midnitetech- Stay Asleep, Mokunoid- Better Sleep Autonomy or Lot 51- Sunrise depending on desired depth/customization

Social Activities -> adeepindigo, Youth, Friends and Family Activities

Small GF Reactions Overhaul -> Bienchen, lesscelebreact

Small Laundry Overhaul -> Bienchen's laundry mods cover some (but not all- anyone have something to make it cost money on community lots?) of it, along with Lotharihoe's No Autonomously Set Laundry Down to replace the "auto put away laundry" part.

Spar With For Everyone -> Bienchen, sparwithfornonmilitary

Toddler Ask For Food No Junk -> Bienchen, healthyhighchair (not quite the same thing but it solves the "why do they always give the kid chips" issue at least)

WEE: Working Elevators Everywhere -> Ravasheen, Uplifting Elevators (space and wall height permitting, it's also possible to make no-CC elevators with the RoM debug portals!)

Wellness Treat Fix -> Bienchen, petanxiousbufffix

Also, while I wasn't using either of them myself, Meet&Mingle can replace SimDa Dating App, and Lovestruck adds a "canon" dating app (though given EA's complete lack of attention to QA etc. I wouldn't recommend paying for it.)

edit 6/26/24: added Sunrise, petanxiousbufffix, pregnantsimscandomore

edit 6/27/24: added No Bump, moved into a new post.

edit 6/29/24: added Daywalkers, No University Housing Restrictions (ty @northernnightsky!) and the sonozakisisters bump mod

edit 7/2/24: added Underworlds (ty anon), Paws & Claws, and a link to the tutorial I followed for no-CC elevators

edit 8/22/24: added Spawn Refresh

[nestypewriter]

Can I request a male yandere headcanon on what he would do on valentine's day?

-🐱 anon

[Content Warning: Just fluff!]

{Author's Note: Hello! Sorry for not being active that much, school just started and lost motivations but since it's Valentine's day! Here's a Yandere Demon! Valentine's day with you! But anyways thank you for requesting 🐱 anon and sorry 🐇 anon that your request is taking too long , it's still work in progress but I promise when ideas flood though my brain and get some motivations I will finish it! 🙏 I'm sorry again and thank you for reading!}

When the yandere demon! first found out about Valentine's Day, he was confused about the event that mortals celebrate. Why would they need to celebrate love when they are already devoted to their significant others? Like, why? Isn't a pact or a mark enough to prove their worthiness?

No matter! If this impresses you, then he would do it for your happiness! But he got mixed up about something like chocolates or flowers; he doesn't know where to get some. So he improvised! Instead of a box of chocolates, he gave you a box of hellish bug bites! You should be grateful; he made them himself with his own recipe! And instead of a bouquet of flowers, he gave you a bouquet of firesplitz! He picked those in the hottest area, where they are found in small patches. Good thing! He grabbed a bunch of them since you only deserve the best!

In terms of the dinner date for Valentine's Day, he made sure that everything was perfect, like the table set with his fancy plates and utensils and a candlelight in the middle with some firesplitz (he set aside some for this). He tried his best to cook earthling cuisines by following the cookbook you gave him, but alas. His skills are only limited to underworld cuisines; he just hoped you liked them and that you enjoyed spending Valentine's day with him!

[penroseparticle]

I'm sorry I have to be an MTG nerd for 5 seconds we just got Emrakul, the World Anew spoiled:

and someone said it "probably won't see any modern play" and the idea that a madness cost of 6 colorless in the format with Tron Lands, Urza's Saga, and Underworld Cookbook for a 12/12 with some bananas protection that STEALS YOUR OPPONENT'S BOARD is just, the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

Like Tron can just CAST HER FOR 12 IN SOME GAMES. Card evaluation skills in a smouldering crater. Unbelievably audacious to believe that she's not Modern power level as if we haven't been Through The Breeching Emrakuls for over a decade now. You can Goryo's this! Hasty 12/12 board wipe for 2.

And like, maybe she won't be good enough? She'll DEFINITELY get tested out though! She will for sure be played by the people that fucking love Emrakul. It's a marquee character on a powerful card. WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN

[mtg-cards-hourly]

Granite Gargoyle

"While most overworlders fortunately don't realize this, Gargoyles can be most delicious, providing you have the appropriate tools to carve them." —The Underworld Cookbook, by Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar

Artist: Christopher Rush TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[skattig]

Are you aching for some of that delectable-looking health-restoring food from Charon’s shop? Dying to take a sip of the rivers running through the underworld? And maybe even spot some of the hot denizens of Hades and Olympus? 👀

Then Pre-order Hell's Kitchens: A Hades Game Cookbook now! The shop is open until May 15 and 2 stretch goals have been hit already 🌶️🔥

Go over to https://hadescookbook.bigcartel.com/ or @hadescookbook to get in on the feasting!!

[cozycryptkeeper]

⛧𝖈𝖔𝖈𝖞𝖙𝖚𝖘 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑⛧

obey me nightbringer's cocytus hall in the sims 4

⛧𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙⛧

Cocytus (literally "lamentation" in Greek) is the river of wailing in the underworld in Greek mythology. It is the lowest level of Hell and what Cocytus Hall is named after.

𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓 𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖘

Builder Notes: There's not much artwork for Cocytus Hall but I did include the artwork that we did get! For everything else, I made my best guess with the time period and the floor plan that was left after carving out spaces I actually had references for.

𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑

𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞 | 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖓 𝖇𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒

𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒

Builder Notes: The living room sports a lot of red-on-red but I wanted there to be a little more contrast so I made most of the furniture black/gray/silver to complement the red. I also added some wear & tear and cobwebs to show the disuse of the spaces.

𝕶𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖓

𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒 | 𝕶𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖓

Builder Notes: The kitchen was a lot of fun to imagine outside of this tiny bit of artwork we got. I ended up making a large center island and loaded it with items to make it look like Solomon has been cooking including a "cookbook" open on the book stand, lots of ingredients out, AND a cauldron. There's also a small breakfast table for Solomon and MC so if they don't want to use the giant formal dining table, they don't have to. The kitchen feels warmer and more lively than most of the rest of the building.

[adtothebone]

This shit is bananas. Who knew a little banana cookbook would take me into the libertarian underworld?

[motherkatereloyshipper]

I posted 267 times in 2022

That's 42 more posts than 2021!

47 posts created (18%)

220 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kmomof4

@jrob64

@jonesfandomfanatic

@elldritch-horror

@apiratewhopines

I tagged 102 of my posts in 2022

#captain swan - 22 posts

#ouat fanfiction - 16 posts

#ouat antibagelfire anti neil - 8 posts

#csnlny22 - 7 posts

#fanfic - 7 posts

#reylo - 6 posts

#captainswan - 5 posts

#i guess i'm writing a cookbook - 4 posts

#reylo fanfic - 3 posts

#captain swan fic - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i once wrote a fic where the magic system used calories to explain why regina could eat lasagne all the time and look like lana parrilla

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

“Hello, Son.” There seemed to be a genuine smile on the Elder Jones’ face as he greeted his son. This was a surprise, considering that the last time Killian had seen him he had been gutful of Killian’s knife and bleeding out on a midnight dock. But the approximation of morning was not done surprising him as another voice from the past sounded from behind his father.

“Hello, little brother,” Liam Jones smirked.

“Younger,” Killian half-whispered as he looked out at the echoes of his past.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma smiled awkwardly, smoothing her tank top into her jeans, Killian’s ring bouncing between her breasts as she grabbed out cereal, milk, eggs and grapefruit. She squeaked, “Hi!” 

Milah just waved before pulling the laces on what was clearly one of Killian’s pirate shirts a little tighter. And fetching coffee cups from the cupboard.

Two men with markedly similar faces bore markedly different expressions. Brennan smirked, doffing his cup to his son, Liam’s face was a picture of revulsion.

Killian, as always fell back on bravado, “May I introduce Emma Swan, Sheriff of Storybrooke, and Princess of Misthaven and Milah, Guardian of the children of the Underworld and ex-wife of the Dark One. Emma, Milah, meet the Jones Boys, my Brother Liam and my Father Brennan.”

Milah laughed, “He always has been dramatic. Emma, love. Tell me there’s more coffee.”

Emma puffed out a soft laugh, “I’ll start another pot”.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma handed out coffee and Brennan took Killian out to the porch. 

Liam stared at the women in front of him, his disgust poorly concealed. “So, which of you is responsible for the man he became?”

Emma looked at Milah, Milah looked at Emma. They both looked at Liam. 

“You,” Emma stated flatly.

“You,” Milah agreed with a nod.

“How exactly did I make him a morally loose pirate?” Liam sneered.

Milah started, “You left him, you died.”

Emma shook her head, “He’s so much more than just the pirate, and that's thanks to you too. He’s honourable, often braver than he should be, proud, arrogant, funny, brilliant, selfless, and a morally loose pirate. You died Liam, you left him because, and no this isn’t fair, but you valued your obedience to your king over him, after that he vowed to bend no knee to royalty.”

Milah barked out a short laugh, “Well, until you.”

Emma admonished her but the dimples on her face gave away her amusement.

Liam spoke hopefully to Emma, ignoring Milah, “So is he lost in the embrace of the Dark Ones cast off or has he turned his back on piracy and sworn the Jewel to Misthaven?”

Emma closed her eyes for a moment before taking a breath, “That isn’t what she meant, Liam.” 

Liam’s face flushed darkly before Emma continued. 

“We’re sworn to each other, he’s my true love, I‘m here to give him half my heart and bring him home. Milah was his love centuries before, when she was murdered it completed his descent, he was so lost for so long." Emma gripped Milah’s hand for a moment. “His journey has been… you couldn’t possibly comprehend what he has been through, he sacrificed himself to save everyone.”

“So what is this then?” Liam’s pout was now more sullen than judgemental.

Milah smiled her pirate smile, “I’d say that’s none of your fucking business, Captain Jones. Captain Jones the younger survived you by three-hundred-years and who and what he chooses to do is really none of your concern.”

Emma fist-bumped Milah before they rounded on the gobsmacked elder brother of their love. Emma stared deep into those oh-so-familiar blue eyes, “Now why don’t you cut the crap and tell us what you want.”

—------------------------------------------------------ 

Killian sat on one side of the small table on the porch. Putting down the coffee cup, he gestured to the other wickerwork chair, “Take a seat, fill me in.”

See the full post

27 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#4

I commissioned this from the incredible @alineartiis as a companion to my piece flying Solo, my first (slightly offbeat) Reylo fic.

32 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#3

Lost Girl :  Found

Chapter 1 of my Neverland New Year 2022 offering.

Firstly a massive shout out to CSColifer who is my writing buddy, editor and muse, who made a whopping 500 edits on this 10k fic, they are my saviour.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0ISbhObKzpx5LKmXH0xe9k?si=78daf5c1448c437d

Chapter 1 is song 1 Lost Girls by Lindsay Stirling, and I recommend that if you are going to enjoy a beverage with this fic you consider a mug of jasmine tea with a shot of Patrón Silver.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36341095/chapters/90600769

32 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#2

The first chapter of my entry to the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2022.

Beta'd beautifully by @jonesfandomfanatic

There will be actually good art later.

Chapter One 

“So, you’ve been with my former lover and my son, is that right?” Milah pursed her lips.

Emma hadn’t been prepared for this, “Huh” was all she could say.

Rumplestilstkin smirked, “I’m sure we’re gonna laugh ourselves sick about this one day."

Milah filed behind Rumple and to Emma in a low voice conspired, “But not until he’s buggered off and we can get a drink.”

Emma smiled, this was an odd place, and that was Neal’s grin. The one she'd fallen for, the one full of mischief and promise. And there was the woman of fire Killian had spoken of. The one so strong that he still wanted to save. She saw herself there and smiled at the thought that she and Killian had fallen in love with the same grin.

They walked through the town, Rumple studiously ignored the soft talk between the two women.

Milah asked, "Did Bae still love to draw, when you were together I mean?"

Emma gave her a tight-lipped smile, "We were on the run, his art form was lock picks."

Milah smiled a vagabond smile, "There's a romance to that, what was he like, as a teenager?"

Emma shrugged, "I wouldn't know, he was in his mid-twenties, well, he looked mid-twenties, apparently he was closer to 300 by then, fucking Neverland."

Milah looked confused, "Rumple said… oh... oh gods no," she put her hand on Emma's shoulder, halting them in place. "Why did you have your baby in prison Emma?"

Emma looked at Milah with tired eyes, "It's a long story," she glanced at Rumple. "Let's just say, in some things he took after his father, but Milah, when he was brave, when he was a hero, he wore your smile."

"You've a kind heart, I can tell you’re trying to hide the hurt of it," Milah swallowed and glared at Rumple who was staring at his watch.

Rumple glared back, "I don't care if Hades puts in an extra few licks on your Pirate ladies, but I assume you do."

Emma looked up in confusion "The way in is here? So, what, the gates of hell are in my house?"

Rumple smirked, "As was the stone of Excalibur. The Pirate has a knack for targeting real estate with hidden value."

Milah whispered to Emma with a waggle of her brows that made Emma’s heart ache. "He's a marvel with finding treasure.”  

Emma sighed, her eyes caressing the dusting toys and empty crib, “Basement door?”

Rumple nodded, “Basement door”

Emma walked up to the door and unlocked it. Trying to push through the seal on the door flashed and repelled her, “It's a barrier, all right. So what is she going to do?” 

Rumple sneered at Emma, even now he couldn’t keep his disdain from his face, “Joining hands will be fine.” He reached out both his hands and, however unwillingly, the women took them.

Walking forward together they passed through the barrier as if it had never existed, Emma and Milah dropped Rumple’s hands and again strangely in synch, wiped their hands on the back of their trousers.

Emma spoke softly, the relief evident, “It worked.” 

Rumple’s cold tone held more chill even than usual, “Indeed. One step closer to Hell. The spell's gone. We'll be able to pass through on our own now. Thank you, Milah. You can run back to protecting the dead children.”

Emma held up a hand to Rumple “Hang on.” Emma met Milah’s eyes intensely, “Milah... thank you so much. And... there's something you should know. Your son, Neal, Baelfire... when I was on my way down here on the River, I had sort of a vision of him. I think he talked to me.”

See the full post

39 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@everything-person asked if they'd re-use Killian’s headstone, I wondered if the Enchanted forest had its own calendar, it was late and I was sleepy

61 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[gartharthestout]

You can eat the rich with some recipes of The Underworld Cookbook Vol.II!

[horademagic]

Livro de Receitas do Submundo/ The Underworld Cookbook

Artefato de Gerar ficha

Custo de mana: 1 incolor e/ou de qualquer cor

Por que ela é interessante? Esse artefato pode ser virado junto do descarte de uma carta da sua mão para criar uma ficha de Comida que pode gerar ganho de vida futuramente. Pagando 4 manas, virando esse artefato e sacrificando-o você devolve a carta de criatura alvo de seu cemitério para sua mão. Então apenas garanta que tenha condições de descarte para ativação do efeito, ou isso pode ser tornar um problema.

Preço da carta: em torno de 0,20 até 10,00

Disponível em Português

Link: https://www.ligamagic.com.br/?view=cards%2Fsearch&card=The+underworld+cookbook&tipo=1

Até a próxima postagem, Ulli e Thiago

[t-girlprowess]

FNM Report:

Round 1: Fought devoted druid combo and lost game 1 to a misplay. Took game 2 and 3 through my superior creatures.

Round 2: Fought Asmo Hollow One and went the distance. Sprite dragon lives the Underworld Cookbook, btw.

Round 3: Creativity beat me game 1 and game two just cast their Archon, which beats me.

Round 4: I fought Grixis control, and barely won game 1 before using flusterstorm to stop my opponents interaction.

[overgrown-estate]

Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar

A card 27 years in the making, Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar is the author of "The Underworld Cookbook" first mentioned on the card, 'Granite Gargoyle' in the original Alpha set. Prior to Modern Horizons 2, The wizard-chef had only been mentioned on three Magic cards. The aforementioned 'Granite Gargoyle', the Time Spiral reprint of 'Lightning Axe', and 'Saute', a silver-borderd card from Unhinged.

Now in Modern Horizons 2, Asmor has finally been given her own card (with her entire name) as well as a card for 'The Underworld Cookbook', and a few other cards - 'Chef's Kiss', 'Discerning Taste', and 'Kitchen Imps'.

Previously Asmor had been featured in a short story titled "Chef's Surprise" in the Magic the Gathering anthology, 'Distant Planes'. The story was written by Sonia Orin Lyris and revolved around Asmor's service to a 'Lord of the Pit' named Vincent, which lasted for seven years and seven days. Apparently, Asmor's kitchen helpers were drudge skeletons. (If anyone knows how I can read this story without hunting down the book, let me know. I'll appreciate you for life.)

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

The Underworld Cookbook by Joe Slucher

[casualvoidobserver]

Our Desires♪

The Corinthian x Reader

AN: I haven't written fanfic in over 8 years. I binged The Sandman a few days ago and I'm obsessed. I used a character I've been writing for a short story as the backstory for the reader.

This is porn with plot. Contains voyarism, dub con kissing, mouth eyes, daddy issues, little bit of mind control... Maybe?, no actual smut! I was too shy to actually write it but if people want it I might amend the fic. This is fluff with some allusions to smut.

____________________________________________

You pace your apartment attempting to make sure you had the perfect place for a seance. You throw a black t-shirt over your sports bra and tug on some jeans as you clear off your junk table. Though normal people would call it a kitchen table. But of course, you are not a normal person in the covential sense at all. Lethe is what people called you Millenia ago, you dwelled in a river in the Underworld and souls would drink of you to forget.

Though years later, the Underworld fell into disrepair, as gods died and were reborn over and over you decided to step into the sun. There you were discovered by your father, and you lived a long and happy time in his realm until you grew bored. Like a flowing river you let your heart carry you elsewhere.

But that was a long long time ago. Today is March 15, modern mortals called this day The Ides of March, this was the day you and your brother would always meet by the River Styx. You'd talk for days, sometimes even months before you would return to the surface and continue your life. However, this year the gates of the Underworld were locked and they refused to open for you. So, you must resort to an old friend called Madilane. If you couldn't go to your brother, you would bring him to you.

You grabbed a hair tie to fix your hair when you smelt thick smoke coming from the kitchen.

"Shit!" You hiss as you rush into the room, one hand clutching a half formed ponytail and the other turning off the burner. You lift the pan, obviously brand new with the tag still hanging on the handle. You place it on a towel next to a cookbook. You of course don't eat, but it is only hostly to prepare something for a guest... Even if they too do not eat. As you took care of the kitchen situation you finally heard a knock on the door.

"Come in Madilane!" You called without thinking, "The doors unlocked!" You look down to notice that some of the burnt sauce spilt on your jeans, "Shit." You mumble as you return to your bedroom. How rude not to greet a guest in the doorway, you tell yourself, but you hear the door open and Madilane enter.

"Sorry Mads!" You call to her tripping over the junk chair in your room, "I'm just changing! Be out in a minute!" The footsteps in the enterance were hesitant, slow and quiet. You kick off your jeans and toss them in the pile of your other discarded things. Madilane didn't answer but you didn't expect her to, she is a woman who seldom speaks.

"I only have sweats, love. I hope this is ok!" You say a bit embarrassed as you throw them on and come back out, "I'm afraid my seance attire is at the dry cleaners." You laugh as you turn the corner and your eyes land upon a figure who is clearly not Madilane.

Your blood runs cold as you see a blond man sitting at your junk table facing away from you. He wore a light tanned suit and lounged in your chair like he was in his apartment.

"Interesting." His said, his voice like velvet, "It seems I have the wrong address..." He mused, holding up a slip of paper between his fingers like a cigarette.

"Get out of my house." You say, shocked by your own sudden forcefulness. He turns around to face you and you stare into his dark, round sunglasses. He has a look of surprise before his lips curled into a cruel smirk.

"Getty?" He said standing up quickly.

Getty, a shortening to your more modern epiphet Forget.

"The Corinthian." You respond, swallowing hard but trying to hide it.

"Isn't this a stroke of luck? I haven't seen you in what? 300 years?" He takes a step forward and you take a step back, "What if it's not luck. Maybe your ol' Uncle Destiny is at work here?" His smirk returns, he's toying with you like prey.

"I said, get out of my house." You repeat, trying to keep firm.

"Oh Getty, don't be that way. We have so much catching up to do." His hand went into his jacket and removed a thin dagger.

"You can't hurt me." You say assuredly, "You're just a dream." Your eyes glance over to an old clay pot on your counter, hidden behind mail and random knickknacks.

"Oh you'd be surprised how much I've changed since my time in The Waking World-"

You lunge for the pot but The Corinthian grabs the back of your neck and pins you against the counter roughly. You struggle for a moment but you quickly realize the futility.

"Hmm..." He muses, "With a reaction like that, I think there is a possibility that I could hurt you." He said tightening his grip as he leans forward and retrieves the clay pot. He examines it, tosses it up and catches it again.

"Did you think your waters could make me forget?" He tuts at you as he releases his grip. You spin around with your back against the counter, watching him carefully. He watches you as well as he removes the lid of the vessel and drinks its contents hungerly.

"Aah!" He sighs as he finishes the liquid and licks his lips. You look away quickly when he turns his attention back to you, "The taste of home." You hear him toss the pot onto the couch but your eyes are focused on your socks.

"What do you want?" You finally ask, meaker then you were before.

"Weren't you listening?" He says in a faux exasperated tone, "I didn't mean to come here. This was chance, us meeting today." He mused as he looked around, admiring your apartment, "I have no plans for what happens next..." He put his thumb on his chin, "Maybe we'll go to a cafe and eat soup while discussing our mutual distaste for your father." He said innocently before laughing and taking a step forward, "or maybe I'll cut you up and send the pieces to your father bit by bit."

You gripped the edge of the counter. He approaches you boldly. One hand cups your cheek and the other plays with his knife absent-mindedly. You watch yourself in the reflection of his glasses.

"I think you'll need a bigger knife, unless you want to be at it all day." You say dryly as he gives a small laugh in response. He opens his mouth to say something but he is interrupted by a third voice in the room.

"Oh deary me? What have I stumbled in on?" A dark, warm voice asked. You and your intruder both turned to a red velvet chair that has suddenly appeared in your livingroom. Sitting upon it was an androgynous blonde in a tight black costume with politician's wife earrings and dark red lips.

"Who are-" Corinthian stepped away from you.

"Desire." You cut off the Nightmare and tighten your jaw.

"Oh! Forget The Forgetten," They teased, "Don't be so hostile, can't I come visit my favourite niece?" They stood and moved like a predator stalking their prey, "and on the day of our anniversary." They reached out and stopped just short of your cheek when Corinthian had just touched.

"Hmm," you mused, looking into their golden eyes, "Yes, and that day is the reason you cannot touch me... Uncle." Your voice dripped with venom.

"I am your Uncle, little one. You can trust me." Their voice echos in your memory.

"Oh, don't tell me you're still upset, Little Brutus-"

"-Do not call me that." You asserted, nearly stamping your foot like a toddler.

"Hmm." The Corinthian smirked again. You turned, nearly forgetting he was there, "How interesting."

You swallowed again.

"What do you want, Uncle." You said taking a step forward making them take a big step back. They smirked at this and threw their hands up.

"What ever could I do?" They said in false-surrender, "The last time I tried to have fun with you I got in big trouble, didn't I?" Their voice turned much more tense and their gaze startled you, "I only stumbled in on my favourite niece alone in her apartment with her father's rogue nightmare. And in an embrace no less!" Desire let out an exaggerated laugh.

"I'm confused?" You frown at them, "You mean to vex my father, with what? A rumor?" You let out a small laugh, "If only we all had your amount of free time, Desire." You shake your head but they just continue to look at you with their gold eyes and cruel smirk. You let out another laugh and ready to take another step towards them when something grabs your arm.

You turn to see your reflection in The Corinthian's dark sunglasses, you pause a moment confused.

"I- I don't get it." You stammer, "Are you working together?" You look down at the knife in Corinthian's free hand but he drops it and instead catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger. You are now at a loss for words at you stare at yourself in the reflection.

"I..." He begins, "I... desire you." He says. You tense up, your mouth goes dry. You hear Desire laugh like a banshee as they fall back into their red lounger.

"Enough, Desire." You say firmly, "I get it. Now let him go." You voice falters a bit at the end and Desire continues to cackle.

"But I'm not controling him! I'm just unshakling him and letting him give in to his desires, little dove." Desire nearly growls from the chair.

Corinthian leans in to kiss you. You pull away quickly and look at him perturbed. He kisses you again and again you recoil. H kisses your cheek softly, then he trails kisses down your jaw until he reaches your neck.

"Stop." You whimper, trying to push him away but as he starts kissing your neck more passionately he holds you tight against him, "Cor-" he catches your mouth with his and kisses you deeply. Your hands clutch his white t-shirt and you feel yourself overcome by fear, confusion and... excitement? In all your time in the human world you've never sampled the mortal passtime of love and the process of making it. Your body responds without knowledge of what you're doing. He pulls away but you pull him back. You kiss as if you're both starving beasts that crave each other. His left hand glides under your shirt and his right wraps around your waist and pulls you as close as possible. Your hands twisted into his blonde hair and the smallest moan escaped you.

Desire snaps their slender fingers.

Suddenly you are standing there dazed, cold and wanton. Corinthian has retreated two feet away and you brace yourself against the counter. You watch him wipe his mouth and lick his lips in confusion. Desire's laugher draws your attention back to their red chair which they stretch out in languidly.

"That was fun," They insist, "Dream will squirm when I tell him about this." Desire writhed with glee in the wingback chair, "Hell, he's be furious when he finds out I even came within six feet of his little river, won't he?"

You can't bring yourself to look at either of your intruders, your eyes are glued to the kitchen tiles.

"Don't look so glum, Brutus." Desire was suddenly leaning on the counter next to you, "Come on, I didn't even have to urge you. You were so ready and willing, you little slut." They purred as you both look over at The Corinthian who turns away. Desire sighs dramatically.

"Fine I got what I came for and pillow talk does bore me." Desire mimes pinching your cheek and blows a kiss before fading away into a pink, perfumed cloud, "Toodles."

The apartment fills with silence, a fog of awkward tension hangs between you. A knock at the door finally snaps you back to reality as you jump and you quickly rush past him to the door. You crack it open half way and see the elderly Madilane waiting.

"Oh! Madilane!" You shake away the daze and rub the bridge of your nose, "Sorry, something's come up. We'll have to do this another time."

The old woman looked up at you with vacant eyes. You sigh and step away from the door to grab a pouch from the mantle. Digging through you remove 10 different coloured coins and deposit them in the old woman's hands. She gives a crooked smile and nods her head as she walked off down the hall jingling her coins as she went.

You close the door quickly and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," You search for the words, stammering as your brain churns in embarrassment and guilt, "Desire seems to relish in torturing me-" You are cut off by lips colliding with yours once again. Corinthian pins you against your front door and kisses you with more passion then before. One arm coiled around your waist and the other grabbed a fist full of your hair. Your hand searches blindly for the lock and you turn it. You push off the door and the two of you stumble kissing and moving down the hall. He picks you up and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you to the kitchen and sits you down on the countertop. He pulls away and you open your eyes. He grabs the edge of your shirt and begins to pull it up but you stop him.

"I-" you swallow and try to slow down your thoughts, "This is you, right?" You ask him earnestly. He laughs and you see your reflection in his glasses frown.

"This is all me." He says pulling your face into another tentative kiss as if he were trying to prove it to you. He knits his eyebrows at you and kisses you again. You grab his cheeks and pull him in. The two of you return to the flow. You crash against each other like two forces of nature, you push his suit jacket off and he lifts your shirt above your head. You continue to kiss, your mouths locked together like your lives depended on it. You pull his white t-shirt off and collide, your flesh pressed against his as he lifts you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he stumbles around your apartment blindly looking for the bedroom.

"The sliding door on the right." You break the kiss for an instant and The Corinthian nearly growls as he claims your mouth once more. He slides open your bedroom door, nearly ripping it off its poorly installed track. He trips slightly over your junk chair and drops you down on the bed. He pulls off his belt and undoes his pants while you watch him from a reclined position. With a swift movement he swipes off your sweatpants and he mounts you on the bed. He slyly places a hand on your underwear and leaves it there, giving you a chance to command him otherwise before proceeding. You pull him closer to you, you wish to be completely cloaked in him. With a flick of his wrist he pulls off your underwear and you moan in excitement. You interlock your ankles behind his back and pull him closer but he pushes you back against the mattress. He laughs softly at your wantoness before he licks his lips and begins to probe your enterence. You gasp a little louder than you intended and you cover your mouth quickly. He laughs again, you love seeing him smile. Suddenly, as if compelled to do so, you reach up for the corner of his glasses but he catches you quickly, out of instinct. His grip tightens on your wrist and he frowns at you.

"Its- it's ok," you say breathlessly, "I know you, you don't need to hide them." You say with a earnest smile. He swallows and looks at you for a long moment before removing his sunglasses and placing them on your nightstand. Where his eyes would be are two shinning sets of white teeth. He watches your reaction carefully in silence. You pull his face down and place a delicate kiss upon his eyelid. You look at him kindly before he captures you in a kiss once more. Renewed with an increased fervor he feasts on your lips, tasting every inch of you as you fall under the spell of pure ecstasy.

×××

"Your desire," you sit on the bed watching him dress, "It wasn't me was it?" You pull your knees to your chest defensively, afraid of what the answer will be.

"What do you mean?" He exhaled like he was amused by the question.

"The desire that you succumbed to..." You looked away, embarrassed to be asking, "It wasn't me. You desired to spite my father."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" He inquires as he retrieves his glasses from the side table. You look away silently.

"Can't it be both?" His attention is focused on turning over his glasses in his hands, "I wanted you and pissing off Morpheus is a nice... Side benefit."

"I suppose." You look up at him and look away again. He comes closer and takes a lock of your hair and twists it around his finger.

"Did it feel like I didn't desire you?" His tongue peaked out and licked his lips. You blush bright pink and go to look away but he catches your chin and looks at you intently.

"...No." You finally said, barely a whisper. His thumb strokes your jaw and you smile. He swoops down and kisses you gently, "The next time you come," you take his hand and examine his palm, "Uh! Over. The next time you come over that is..."

"I'll try not to threaten you." He snorted as he pulls you up into another long passionate kiss, "But no promises."

You blush again, gosh you must look like a school girl.

"I look forward to it." You smile coyly.

[millenniumfae]

Video Game Cooking: Uncle Kiryu's Morning Glory Curry (Yakuza 3)

Curry (serves 2-3 people):

2 bone-in chicken thighs

1 large carrot

1 medium onion

1 large yellow potato

1/8 cup frozen peas

2 cubes S&B Golden Curry Roux (mild)

1-2 cups water

Pickled daikon (three servings):

3 tbsp white sugar

2 tbsp rice vinegar/Ume plum vinegar

1/4 cup mirin

Half cup matchstick-cut raw daikon

Picture this; you're ten years old, orphaned and struggling in the miasmic system that is the Japanese federal child services. Eventually, you find yourself re-homed in a newly established orphanage down south in Okinawa, called "Morning Glory Orphanage", and your new guardian is this ... six foot tall, 250-pound brickhouse of a man approaching his forties, whose appearance just screams "I am involved in organized crime."

But it's not long before you get to know Uncle Kiryu, who's kind, caring, protective, and supportive of all the children in his care. He may be stoic, quiet, slightly intimidating, and the permanent furrow in-between his eyebrows is deeper than the Mariana Trench, but he truly makes for a great guardian. Nothing makes him smile more readily than his kids.

Yakuza 3 introduces good ol' Kiryu Kazama some years after the previous two games, happily running an orphanage after cutting all ties with the Tojo clan. Of course, the series being what it is, it doesn't take long for Kiryu to be dragged right back into the drama that is the Japanese yakuza underworld.

But before that point, we see glimpses of how Kiryu takes care of his kids; he cooks meals, keeps an eye on their schoolwork, and gets heavily involved with whatever worries might plague a gradeschooler's mind - like being bullied, struggling with a crush, and also kid troubles that are sometimes swept under the carpet like racism and poverty.

Today, we're gonna be recreating one of the meals we see Kiryu preparing for the orphanage, while also getting deep into the minds of these gangsters through Yakuza's food symbolism.

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Disclaimer; my Video Game Cooking series specializes in fantastical foods, like Fallout's Deathclaw Omelette and Dark Souls's Estus Flask. That's what makes recipe recreation fun, 'cause you have to rack your brain deciding how to translate fictional ingredients into something you can make at home.

Making video game foods that are, like ... just real-life foods are boring to me. What's the point of making a whole Lord Of The Rings-themed cookbook if all your recipes are just typical breads that are just given a fancy name like "Pippin's Rye Loaf"?

Making your recipe LOOK like it jumped straight out of Breath Of The Wild, that I do get, but actually making the food isn't especially fun 'cause you're just cooking up a cream stew. It's when you have to interpret what the heck 'razorgrain' is, or 'moon sugar', that's what lends you room for creativity.

For this particular recipe, we're not dealing with a fantasy setting, or a science-fiction universe. Yakuza takes place in the real world of Japan, during specific periods of time (December 1988, January 2018, etc), and it all runs solely on (pseudo) realism. Barring the occasional crazy side-story, of course.

This recipe is especially banal 'cause it's a curry dish. Modern Japanese home cooking has a special relationship with curry the same as Americans with mac and cheese. Much of the time, you're not making it entirely from scratch, you're buying jarred or boxed ingredients. It's a meal popular not just for its convenience, but also because it's well liked amongst kids.

(Yakuza 3 boasted tons of brand deals with real-life franchises (like every other Yakuza game), and in the Okinawa levels alone, you can count 13 separate brands like Quickly boba, Blue Seal ice cream, and Orion draft beer.)

Japanese curry is not Indian curry, or Thai curry, or Jamaican curry, and so on. Lots of countries have their own regional traditions when it comes to whatever they call curry. Japan's curry history traces to the Meiji era, AKA the Victorian period, when British forces brought lots of new foods to feudal Japan - famous Japanese yoshoku (western food) favorites such as breaded pork chops, potato croquettes, and omelette rice all sprung from this influence.

Curry, of course, came to Japan from the British, 'cause Britain gained a love for curry through colonizing India. So Japan's curry culture is built not off of Indian curry, but through British curry - which in turn is based off of Indian curry. You get it? It's kinda roundabout, I know.

As far as Japanese curry cuisine goes, it definitely makes for the perfect family meal. You can make a big pot of it, using convenient ingredients, and the taste appeals to many. Japanese curry tends to run the mild, less spiced-up route, thickened with flour and fats, and stewed with water. With one single block of S&B-brand instant curry roux, you can make an entree for four, leaving the curry to casually stew while you start up the rice cooker.

Our goal today is to guess what kind of curry Kiryu would make. Technically, you can throw anything into a Japanese curry base, but there are some typical, preferred ingredients; onions, carrots, potatoes, sometimes peas, and cubes of meat. The only ingredient we see Kiryu preparing is white onions - he cuts them like he's defusing a bomb, and when one of the kids runs into the kitchen asking when dinner is, he tells him to leave. Nothing says 'I'm a home cook' like 'get the fuck out of my kitchen when I'm cooking'.

Yeah, the ingredients in this recipe all kinda falls down to how good a cook Kiryu is. Let's think about this - he grew up in an orphanage back in the 70's and 80's, and probably relied on convenience stores and restaurants from then onwards (in Yakuza 0 you can see 20-year-old Kiryu's shitty apartment littered with instant ramen tubs). There wasn't really a point in his life prior to Morning Glory Orphanage that would prompt him to refine his home cooking skills. Plus, something about his 'seinen protagonist attitude' makes me think he's the type of manly man dude guy who'd eat anything. So we might be dealing with uncle Kiyru making mediocre dad meals.

On the flip side, Kiryu is a very dedicated man. When given just a slight push, he's willing to learn new things that are completely unfamiliar to him, such as how to use modern laptops and internet, or be a shirtless model for performance photography. It's not hard to see Kiryu reading up on cooking magazines in preparation for being a good uncle to his kids. Maybe in the beginning, one or two meals of his bland cooking spurred him to give the children better food, and a popup appeared on screen called "Substory 05: Learn To Cook".

The very first meal we see him make in-game is what looks like steamed fish. It's probably a bluefin tuna, which are plentiful around Okinawa (and he apparently caught it himself using a goddamn trident?? With no scuba gear or anything). When he serves it to the kids, it's whole on the plate with some juices underneath, and garnished with green onions and cilantro, possibly cooked onion slices. Steaming an entire fish is typical in Asian cooking, you put the entire thing into a bamboo steamer atop boiling water in what's likely to be a wok, especially if its a bigger fish. Easy to cook, and easy to spice and sauce.

It looks good. Not only are there multiple garnishes, but it's plated with two extra leaves on the side to make it especially pretty. This was prepared not just with efficiency, but also with an eye for beauty and delicious cuisine. If Kiryu did indeed catch it right out of the ocean, he'd also have to dress the fish by descaling, gutting, and cleaning it, which is harder than it sounds. If we're looking at a properly-prepared 2-foot bluefin tuna, steamed and seasoned, then we can conclude that Kiryu is at least capable of Cooking with a capital C.

(in every cooking scene, Kiryu is always accompanied by Haruka. She's either helping set the table, or gathering the rest of the kids. It's possible that she's having a hand in the actual cooking, too. In the beginning of Yakuza 2, Haruka outright states that she's been cooking for the both of them, and that her cooking has gotten better. Haruka's 12 in Yakuza 3, and raise your hand if you were cooking for your family at that age, 'cause I certainly wasn't. She's taken up a 'big sister' role in the orphanage, being the eldest kid there, and shoulders a lot of responsibility for the other kids without prompting.)

On the flip side, what little we see in the actual curry cooking scene doesn't quite scream 'skilled cook' to me. He's cutting the white onions correctly; using the 'kitten paw' technique to slice the blades lengthwise along the ridges. But then he throws them raw into the stockpot without sweating or caramelizing them. It's possible that he's using the same pot to cook everything in succession, AKA browning the onions first and then later throwing in ingredients that take less time to cook, that's definitely something a lot of home cooks do to minimize dishwashing. But if he's not, then he's just tossing raw onions into a stewing curry and calling it a day.

The actual in-game model of the finished curry is kinda nondescript, no thanks to Yakuza 3's outdated engine. But we can make out red bits, brown lumps, and small green dots. It's also plated with a serving of bright red sticks on the side. To me, it's clearly meant to represent peas, meat, and what's possibly tomatoes or yams. The red garnish I'm not sure, it could be a traditional Japanese side dish like burdock, daikon, or ginger that's been dyed red using umezu vinegar - the leftover brine from making umeboshi.

The actual curry meal we're recreating is from a particularly heartwarming scene. Haruka helps plate the dinner table with a generous serving of curry for everyone. But one child is missing, so Kiryu hunts down a depressed Izumi with comforting words about her parentless status. They walk back hand-in-hand, and find that none of the kids have started eating yet. They were patiently waiting for the both of them all this time, despite their hungry bellies.

English-speaking audiences might not be familiar with Japan's unique stigma surrounding orphans. In Japanese culture, adopted people (kids in particular) struggle with the idea of being 'not actually part of the family'. Even on a government level, orphans are given less options when it comes to lineage, which affects their ownage rights. The stigma is so tied with the system, no matter how supportive the public might be of orphans, their lives are oppressed nonetheless.

So there's a reason why Yakuza 3 is so themed around orphans. Kiryu himself is an orphan. The main villain is also an orphan. A huge chunk of the game surrounds Morning Glory orphanage. Most of the plot gravitates around money that orphan Yoshitaka Mine can afford, but the young Morning Glory orphans can't. The only other Yakuza game with such a prominent theme would probably be Yakuza 6, which is blatantly about parents and their kids - adopted or otherwise.

(Kiryu is 38-40 years old in Yakuza 3, 44 in Yakuza 5, and 50 in Like A Dragon. If you want a quick laugh, take a look at his face at his oldest, and compare it to his 20-year-old self of Yakuza 0. How many of you looked like a middle-aged man when you were 20?)

And the whole orphan theme stretches across the entire franchise, for reasons everyone, not just the Japanese audience, can understand. Who's more likely to get sucked into a crime culture with a heavy emphasis on found family? What's a charity cause a moral yakuza boss might be interested in, and what's a completely unprofitable venture a business-minded yakuza would discredit? Who gets left behind when crime ends up killing? How many of the major characters are orphans, and how many of the villains have blood families that they don't appreciate?

Yoshitaka Mine, the main villain of Yakuza 3, is a fitting endboss for such an orphan-heavy game. He was a poor orphan child the same as Kiryu and the Morning Glory kids. He rose to the top of the corporate chain even before getting involved with the Tojo Clan. It's a very similar story that all orphan yakuza share, whether their rise to success is through crime, or business, or both.

Throughout the game, the player is led to believe that Mine wants to off Daigo to take his place as chairman, but when Kiryu faces him, Mine drops the bomb that he, in fact, is completely infatuated by Daigo because he treated him like an equal. Something Mine, the orphan, is completely starved of. Why does he want to kill a comatose Daigo? 'Cause he can't bear to see his love so weak and on the brink of death. That's not his Daigo.

There's even that mid-game scene where Mine goes to bulldoze Morning Glory Orphanage for (insert plot reason here), but it's obvious that Mine's also doing it  because he resents these kids for having something he didn't. Kiryu takes good care of his children, whereas Mine suffered through a childhood that hardened him.

So when we see Kiryu cook for his kids, we're also seeing a life that would have saved the villain, we're seeing the victims of a country's government, we're seeing mirrors of previous beloved characters like Nishikiyama and Yumi, as well as current protagonists like Kiryu and even Ichiban. That curry scene of a huge dinner table with all those kids, they not only break bread as a family, but they also make it a point to wait until everyone's here before eating.

Think about curry - like soups, it's cooked in a big pot before being served in individual servings. It's a communal food. And in Japan, it's something of a 'peasant dish' because you're using cheap ingredients, stretching out the meat using flour and water. There's a lot behind the food of Yakuza 3 beyond 'hehe Kiryu cook curry'.

First up, let's nail down the exact ingredients Kiyru would have used, down to the brand. So head to the supermarket to pick up a box of S&B Golden Curry sauce mix. There's powder forms and mix-in block forms, and either will do. They come in three levels of spiciness - mild, medium, and hot - and since Kiryu's making it for children he'd likely choose the mild version just to be safe - they do all have glasses of water, but that's a very common given whenever you're served Japanese curry and it's more likely that kids are given mild curries. We're using this brand in particular because they're by and large the top distributor of cheap curry roux in Japan. When Kiryu goes grocery shopping in downtown Ryukyu, which is a small town, that is most definitely what he'd find stocked.

Now onto the other ingredients - let's aim for a very typical Japanese home curry dish, and we're gonna buy bone-in skin-on chicken thighs, yellow potatoes, orange carrots, white onions, and frozen peas. You can vaguely make out some beige/light brown lumps in the cutscene, which to me looks very much like curry-fied diced chicken, and not the dark brown of beef. Pork is another option, but it's a much less commonly used ingredient in Japanese curry.

(Some balk at the inclusions of LGBT content spread amongst the Yakuza series, but the majority of the gay/queer/trans characters prompt the overarching moral of 'be true to yourself, don't judge based off of appearances.' Kiryu - and his orphans - struggle with fitting into larger society, and they in turn relate to fellow marginalized people.) 

And it might have been a vegetarian curry, but it'd beg to ask what those beige lumps were, then, if not meat. And Kiryu seems like the type of orphanage handler to insist on kids eating meat rather than going without. Morning Glory would have received a regular government pension that'd be their sole income, and it's true that 2008 Ryukyu would certainly up the market price of meat by virtue of it being located on a Japanese island, but chicken (and other bird meats you can find in Asia's traditional markets like duck, turkey, pigeon sometimes) wouldn't be as pricey as beef and pork, which are livestock animals that require a lot of land - something Japan lacks.

If Kiryu's orphanage funds were really low, he'd stick to the local seafood to feed the kids. And not shrimp or albacore, but cheap meats like loaches, small crabs, sardines, and saury. He'd go late in the day when the fishmongers are wanting to get rid of the day's catch, and maybe even dig in the 'free' buckets for barnacle fish and random tiny squids. None of those are typical Japanese curry ingredients, and I very much doubt the in-game curry scene features any of them.

Feeding 9 kids (plus yourself and a dog) is expensive. That's not even getting into their clothes, medical needs, school supplies, toys, tickets to the movies, and the utility bills. But they never seem to want for anything, which tells me that either Kiryu/Haruko is a beast at budgeting, and/or the Japanese government isn't stingy when it comes to monetary aid. You can think of it as a parallel to main villain Mine's super affluent but sad life as someone unloved, but not wanting for money - and by extent, food.

So without further ado, let's make Uncle Kiyru's Morning Glory Curry!

We're following (what little we can see of) Kiryu's cooking expertise, and making a batch that'd serve two-three people - not 10, I doubt any of you are cooking for that many and we don't want to waste food. But before the curry, we need to figure out the red garnish on the side. You're either buying a pickled red side dish from a Japanese ethnic store, or you're making some yourself using ume plum vinegar.

The in-game model features them as thick, almost cube-like slices, which to me rules them out as ginger, which is almost always served as thin peels. And if they're pickled, then they're most likely daikon, which is a very popular Japanese side dish that's often made at home, but also commonly bought jarred. Maybe you can find some store-bought daikon that's been pickled with specifically ume plum vinegar, but if you can't, then you can make some ahead of time.

Find ume plum vinegar in ethnic grocery stores - if you can't, then you can fake it for the purposes of this recipe with some extra ingredients - and slice up peeled, raw daikon into sticks that are 2-inches long, and around the width of a pencil, totalling perhaps half a cup of radish.

Into a medium, sealable container, toss in the vinegar, kosher salt, sugar, and mirin/cooking sake to make into a liquid mixture. Put the sliced daikon in, cover, and refrigerate for at least half a day. If you couldn't find ume plum vinegar, use rice vinegar and toss in deep red fruits like cherries, raspberries, or maybe even just red food coloring if you're really lacking in options. After half a day, the daikon should be crisp, and ruby-red all the way through.

Now for the curry! Get out a big ol' stockpot, the typical 'anime curry cooking scene' sort of pot, and coat it with vegetable oil on low-medium heat. We're using this pot to cook everything sequentially, starting with what takes the longest to cook and ending with the shortest.

White onions are first. Slice them the way Kiryu does; peel the skin off of one entire onion, then you're slicing it in half parallel to the natural ridges. Continue to slice along those ridges to make 'U'-shaped pieces, and then you're throwing it all into the hot oil to sizzle.

Next is carrot. Find a large one, peel off the thick outer skin, then chop it diagonally into half-an-inch-thick slices. It gets tossed into the pot right after the onions.

Stir, saute, and then cover the pot so the two ingredients can cook and soften for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, you can peel and dice two large yellow potatoes into hefty cubes, and de-bone/de-skin a chicken thigh.

At the 10 minute mark, the onions should be pretty translucent (but not totally), and the carrots should be much softer (but not all the way through). Throw in the meat, and you're browning the chicken on all sides for a couple minutes. The aim isn't to cook them all the way through.

Now comes the actual curry roux! Raise the heat to medium-high, then follow the instructions on the box - power packets and curry blocks require different amounts of water. Either way, you add the required water first, wait until it boils, and then stir in the roux. For two-three people, add at least two cubes and start with 1.5 cups of water first.

After you add the roux, throw in the peeled and diced potatoes. Cover, lower the heat once more to low-medium, then you're allowing the entire thing to simmer for 10 minutes.

Finally, throw in 1/8 cup of frozen peas, and then allow it to further simmer for 5 more minutes.

And in-between cooking the curry, you can make the rice. They're almost certainly eating typical Japanese white rice - short-grain, on the moist side. If you're not sure what to buy, go to an Asian ethnic grocery and look for Nishiki or Kohuko short-grain brands. Measure out two cups, rinse thoroughly with water to wash off the cloudy starch, drain, and put it into your rice cooker/saucepan with a bit more water than other rice varieties might require. Essentially, a 1:1.25 ratio of rice to water, so in this case you're adding 2.5 cups of water.

If you're making rice on the stovetop, put the raw rice and water into the pot and cover. Bring it to a boil on medium heat, and turn it to low when it does. Let it continue to cook, covered, for 10-12 minutes. After that, remove from heat entirely and let it stand, covered, for 10 minutes more, to steam itself. When it's done, there should be no water left, and all the rice should be completely soft and sticking together in globs.

Now we can plate our curry - one half will be the rice, the other a hefty serving of curry. Don't skimp, cover the entire plate sans rim with food. On the side, pick out some of the pickled daikon and place it next to the rice. Not too much, perhaps a tablespoon's worth. Serve with a glass of water and a spoon - both items rarely used by the Japanese unless it's curry time.

Enjoy! To me, it tastes exactly just like the S&B-brand curry I ate once or twice as a child, mellow and sweet. To people not used to Japanese curry, it's probably gonna taste pretty different from other varieties you've had. You might find it delicious, or weird, or bland. To my mom, who grew up on this stuff, she loved it and considered it a big throwback to the comfort meals of her day, which was a ringing endorsement on the authenticity of this recipe. Mmm, 2008 Japan!