#The Positives

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

Since that last one was kind of negative I also want to put up some positives of the last year.

One unexpected one is that I'm blogging more and actually feel more established and like a part of the community on tumblr now! (After a decade lol) What is this now, a personal blog? It started as more of a fandom and academic thing but I'm sharing a lot more now and actually I think that's healthy. (Or at least, it's a place for me to scream into the void and see who, if anyone, in the void screams back!)

Just going through a few others:

I'm feeling broadly better about my body and not like I need surgery any more. (Well, apart from the ones I need to function, lol, medical condition life). I meant cosmetic surgery. I'm not saying I won't ever get some, but I've (mostly) broken the crutch/addiction impulse towards it that tells me I'm a horrible monster creature without it, and that in my book is a positive. I don't like feeling out of control or in thrall.

I've dated a bit this year, which has been healthy. It hasn't worked out, but at least I wasn't intimidated to do it OR obsessive about it and overcompensating. And, I've remembered how much I like being in a relationship. I forgot because my previous one was a nightmare with a guy who was a perpetual child in terms of maturity & responsibility.

I've connected positively with my family, specifically my sibling and a cousin. I hope we can look out for each other in the future.

I've seriously thought about a lot of serious things in life, like career, side hustles, where I want to live etc.

I've met a lot of new people and taken the lead to maximise those connections into friendship, networking etc. I love people to be about and I'm making that happen as much as I can.

I've travelled a bit (just in the UK) and taken the opportunity to take trips and see people when I can. I've been to 3? other cities, (Manchester, Camb, Inverness) not including Edinburgh, and I might make it a 4th by the end of the year. And I learned a lot about what I like AND don't like when travelling. I've got a bit better at living in the moment and spending money on me to enjoy things, rather than hoarding it like the poverty dragon I once was.

I've got a lot fitter and stronger AND I've reminded myself to not expect too much of myself due to medical reasons. Good for me and good for the average person my age aren't necessarily the same thing. I need to be kind to myself even though I'm competitive!

I've shared some of my interests with people irl and built on them. Like design and reading. I've got back into gaming a bit as well which is comforting when its just me on my own. And I've read more books this year, not just cosy crime ones - my soft entry back into reading after being too stressed too read early in the pandemic. I've been dressing more like myself too, on the street too, not just in 'safe spaces'. Next stop... try a bit at work?

And, like my life motto, or one of them anyway...

In many ways, I've MADE IT WORK.

What more can you ask out of a year on this earth?

And I've been singing more as well. Kacey, Stevie, Dolly, Florence, Joni, Lana and others, thanks for inspiring me and bringing some lightness to my life.

[wutbju]

The Craven

by Arby Jenkins

Once upon a righteous fury While I pondered in a hurry Whether I would someday be ennobled in Collegiate lore— While I wondered, nearly slumbered, suddenly there came a dumber Person even than myself, tap-tapping on my office door. “Tis some Positive,” I muttered, “tapping on my office door— Only Eric, nothing more.

Ah, distinct the recollection of that autumn resurrection Of the question of Steve Pettit’s contract, would it be renewed four more? Eagerly, demanding entry into Admin’s inner sanctum There to press for more tomorrows—for Steve’s now forsaken powers— For the banjo-playing campman whom the Fundies named Doctor. Tossed away for evermore.

Hark, the rising of our mission, sizing up the Board’s ambitious vision Filled me—willed me to fantastic glories not bethought before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating “Could it be that I could do it, take Steve’s place by coup, nor rue it, Ease myself by scheming to be President? Just do it! This I hoped and wanted more.

Presently the coup grew stronger, hesitating then no longer, “Board,” said we, “or Madmen, reformation cannot be foregone; But the fact is you have sinned, against our Pettit you have been

Harping, carping at him, now we rise up to implore, That you stop your firing plans—here I burst in through their door— Silence there and nothing more.

Could it be my powers failing, leaving me with only wailing That I should be hearkened unto as my wisdom I deployed? No one heard me, no one listened, neither Board nor ‘Ministration, Til my voice was rasping vainly with the weakest, “por favor” This I whispered, but they cackled, “No sir, not you anymore.” Ate the donuts, nothing more.

Back into the office turning, my ambition whirling, swirling, Why could I not be the person chosen for the vacant role? “It’s because you’ve not been stable, this and that, you prove unable Through the years your fundy label has not proven to be full. This they told me and it echoed deep into my soul Unproven, I had nothing more.

Quick to Facebook churning, turning, all my grievances a-burning, Soon the friends all gathered, shouting louder than before. “Surely we can overcome the sinful Board and then become them; Wielding all their former power as we wish to make our score— Let us see, then what is out there, keeping us from doing more— Let my heart relax one moment while I ponder what’s in store— ‘Tis my hubris, nothing more!

Now I open up the Answer, to discern the written dictum Of the former Chairman of the Hypocritic Board— Not the slimmest bow he made me as he left the Table gamely, Tossing at me only his disdain while leaving me insanely Gaping at the now-shut door. My ambitions on the trodden floor.

Enter Doctor Alan Benson, lately of Gen Z dissension, Begging them to choose a church ennobled with the “BJ Core,” He’ll be Acting, merely Acting, in the role I craved expecting, Nay, desiring, while expiring Pettit’s case I did implore. Overstepping, always fretting, and my welcome is no more.

Let this be a lesson, children, when you crave a righteous burden Not to see your self-importance as another’s prime devotion. In the end they’ll all desert you and declare they never knew you, While you feign to be so loyal to the Board who now abhor you Joke’s on them, their school is flailing, Fundies are no more prevailing, Legacies now dim and fading shall be lifted nevermore.

[talisidekick]

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

no i don't want to use your ai assistant. no i don't want your ai search results. no i don't want your ai summary of reviews. no i don't want your ai feature in my social media search bar (???). no i don't want ai to do my work for me in adobe. no i don't want ai to write my paper. no i don't want ai to make my art. no i don't want ai to edit my pictures. no i don't want ai to learn my shopping habits. no i don't want ai to analyze my data. i don't want it i don't want it i don't want it i don't fucking want it i am going to go feral and eat my own teeth stop itttt

[memeuplift]

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[bitchfitch]

writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.

[robyn-i-guess]

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

[allthatispeculiar]

[miikarin]

in a youtube feed that seems increasingly made of video essays that talk about how bad certain media is, this sounds like something I'd want to watch

shoutout to the guy who created a parody account of cinemasins where instead of pointing out every single flaw in a film, he just pointed out things he liked about the movie. you're so right cinemawins its so much more fun to like things

[saszor]

Overview of some topics when it comes to drawing characters who are burn survivors.

DISCLAIMER. Please keep in mind that this is an introductory overview for drawing some burn scars and has a lot of generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. I'm calling this introductory because I hope to get people to actually do their own research before drawing disabled & visibly different characters rather than just making stuff up. Think of it as a starting point and take it with a grain of salt (especially if you have a very different art style from mine).

Talking about research and learning... don't make your burn survivor characters evil. Burn survivors are normal people and don't deserve to be constantly portrayed in such a way.

Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.

edit: apparently tum "queerest place on the internet" blr hates disabled people so much that this post got automatically filtered. cool!

second way more important edit: How are people seeing this post where I specifically talk about burn survivors being normal, real people, and still tag this as "TW body horror"? Not a single one of these drawings or pictures is a fresh injury. All of them are healed. How the hell would you feel if someone tagged a photo of you as "trigger warning: gore"?

Disabled people are not your fucking body horror. Grow up.

[singing-not-sleeping-beauty]

Not really a fan of Bridgerton, but I am a fan of Nicola Coughlan's response to everyone shitting on her for being "too big" to play a love interest

[your-gay-grandma]

i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.

[tree-whispering]

[memeuplift]