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everythingsinred · 3 years ago

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 23)

Sorry. It's been a hot second... I missed a day because I got so busy with school that I actually forgot to update and also I just didn't have the time anyway. It's definitely not the end of the world but I'll post on Friday as well to make up for missing Monday.

In this part, we'll complete the Time-Travel Arc. Mikan makes a big choice and Natsume has to deal with the fact that he's the only one who can't dedicate himself to waiting, because he doesn't have enough time to, especially if Mikan won't be around.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty

They’ve just seen Yuka finally give birth to Mikan.

Natsume has been by Mikan’s side this whole time, because he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

But she’s about to make an announcement, because she’s decided something. Natsume looks shocked, almost like he knows what is even before she’s said it, but she is interrupted by another one of his coughing fits. He’s not the kind of person who’d want others to watch him suffer.

My throat hurts just looking at him.

When we first met Natsume, he went on frequent visits to the hospital. He was in a state of particular illness when he was kidnapped by Reo. After that, we saw the condition he was in while in bed during the Kaname/Bear chapter. I’d said then that Natsume was always in that much pain, but he managed to keep it to himself and tough it out until he was by himself in his room at night. Even after, when Tsubasa first finds out, he’s able to mostly keep it to himself.

Natsume is the kind of person who wants to keep his suffering to himself. He doesn’t like being caught with blood in his palm or dripping out of his nose. But he’s been getting worse and worse and he can’t keep up with his body anymore. He can’t always tough it out and pretend like he’s fine until he’s all alone anymore. He’s coughing more and more. His body can’t take it anymore. He’s in significantly worse shape now than he was when we first met him, and he was already dying then too.

The fact that he can’t hold it back, even in such an important moment when Mikan is about to make an important announcement, even when he’s surrounded by people, just goes to show how much suffering he’s in and how much worse it’s getting.

He brushes it off, like he always does, hiding his blood and reaching for the healing alice stone around his neck. He doesn’t want the attention on him, especially not for the sake of his stupid dying body.

But Kaoru has collapsed when running from the Academy pursuers. Yuka feels responsible, especially since Kaoru is in an especially vulnerable, pregnant state. So she gives Kaoru the alice stone she received from little Subaru. This is the same alice stone that Natsume just used for relief. It has passed many hands to end up in Natsume’s possession.

In the next scene they’re shown, Kaoru is struggling more than ever. They’re being pursued and Kaoru collapses again. Yuka finally realizes it: that Kaoru has the fourth type of alice, and she’s dying. She urges Kaoru to go easy on herself, for the sake of everyone, and then teleports away, unwilling to let her best friend suffer for her anymore.

We see a little flashback of Natsume getting Subaru’s alice stone for the first time. Kaoru gives it to him since she can see right away that he’s like her, getting sick whenever he uses his alice. It’s to protect him in her stead, because she knows that her life has a time limit on it. She then tells him he has to take care of his father and sister, and although she had nothing but good intentions, entrusting such a huge responsibility to a child, one that is already suffering with a life-shortening alice shape, can be damaging. And from what we know about Natsume, we know that he took all those words to heart and made it his only life’s mission to protect the people he loves, to the detriment of his own life and health.

Natsume has seen a great deal of his mother just now, and he’d never felt so close to her before. This is more than he’d ever known. He didn’t know about her bond with Yuka, or the true extent that Kaoru went through for her friend.

But Mikan is looking at him, and she’s obviously putting pieces together. So she asks him if he’s the same as his mother.

Natsume never wants anyone to worry about him. We know for a fact that he’s dying. We know that his body is in terrible shape. But Mikan is already crying, just at the thought of what he’s been suffering through. If he were to be honest now, as blunt as possible, then he would just be more of a burden. He doesn’t want her worrying about her and that’s more important than being honest. All he wants is to comfort her and minimize the pain she feels to the best of his ability.

LIAR!

So he hugs her again, and tells her that he won’t die, that he will not leave her.

But this moment isn’t all about comforting Mikan. He wants to live too. He doesn’t want to die. He promises that he’ll make it because he wants to believe it too. A long time ago, more than a hundred chapters ago, Natsume was willing to blow himself up so that his suffering could finally come to an end. He didn’t see any more value in his life. All he ever did was burden people around him. He felt like he couldn’t protect anybody, like all did was drag the people he loves into darkness. When he met Mikan, that changed. She talked about his future like he had one and even though he’s been resisting, ever since, he’s also seen it. He desperately wants what he’s always forbidden himself. He can’t have even half of what Yuka had dreamt of: getting married and starting a family with someone you love, making a warm home.

Of course he’d like that too! But he won’t make it. His whole life, he’s known he wouldn’t make it. Why waste his time trying anyway? Why waste the girl’s time just to break her heart? He won’t be able to live that long, so he’s distanced himself from everyone. He won’t make friends or really try with the girl he loves because it would be for nothing. From the beginning he tried to accept that and just deal with it, but the longer he knew Mikan and the further he fell in love with her, the harder that was to stick with. How can you give up on something that your whole heart is screaming for? He wants to live. He wants to be with Mikan, as long as he can.

He’s not making this promise out of callousness. He’s making it because he wants it to be true. He doesn't want to break it. He wants to be able to have a future.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One

Natsume and Mikan are hugging. She’s crying, because she doesn’t want him to die. He’s promising he won’t go, because he also doesn’t want to die. But they’re not alone. He looks up at Ruka and immediately feels guilt.

It's been nice seeing the return of Natsume&Ruka again... The gap arc and even the Sports Fest really lacked their dynamic and it always bothers me how little they interact during that time. Seeing Ruka now stick up for Natsume and consider his feelings watching the flashbacks regarding Kaoru, and now giving Natsume his blessing... It's just nice to have my favorite friendship back.

So far, Natsume has done his all to be Team Ruka. He wants his best friend to be happy, for the girl he loves to be happy, so why not together? They deserve happiness. He has forbidden himself from even considering that Mikan could ever choose him. He can’t make anybody happy, after all. All he does is drag people into darkness, steal their smiles away like he did to Ruka, leave them unprotected like he did to Aoi, leave them all alone and lonely like he did to his father. But he can’t leave the embrace now.

He looks at Ruka with guilt because he is sorry. He really did try not to end up like this.

I get a little confused with this, but it's made clear at the beginning of the arc that the time window makes it possible for telepathic conversations, so we know for sure that Natsume is hearing these words from Ruka, receiving his blessing, but it also looks like Mikan can hear it too, and perhaps everyone else. How the heck would I know! Whatever. The possibility of her hearing will be covered in the next POV essay. Why does Mikan keep trying to weasel her way into Natsume's chapter anyway? Stay in your lane, Mikan. You'll have your turn!

But Ruka doesn’t want Natsume to be sorry. He loves Natsume too. And if he can’t be with the girl he loves, then he would want her to be with Natsume, who loves her too, who prioritizes her happiness. He would want her to be with Natsume, because she makes him happy and gave him a reason to live. Natsume wouldn’t make that kind of promise and want to mean it if he hadn’t met Mikan. So Ruka urges Natsume to stop holding back. He’d been resisting for so long, not being honest and not doing what he wanted to this whole time because he always put everyone else’s happiness above his own.

But the flashbacks continue, and Yuka has no choice but to give Mikan up, so that her daughter will not suffer the way she has. All she wants is for Mikan to be safe and happy, so she lets her go and suffers on her own.

Mikan has made her decision, but everyone already knew it would end up this way. She will leave the academy to be with her mother.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two

Facing the news, Natsume is shocked. He knew it would end with Mikan choosing to leave with Yuka too, but he really didn’t want it to be like this.

Hotaru and Tsubasa and Ruka and everyone else can promise to meet Mikan again in the future, no matter how long it takes. But if Mikan isn’t there, what kind of future has Natsume been looking forward to?

Watch this, Lis! You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!

Natsume isn’t selfish, though. He won’t say anything. He stays silent because it wouldn’t be fair. But this is the saddest that he’s been in quite some time. He’s heartbroken. If she leaves, he won’t ever see her again. He will die. He doesn’t have eternity to promise her, even if he wants to.

She looks at him to say sorry that it has to be this way, but Natsume’s feelings show on his face and she crumbles too. He won’t say anything, because he genuinely doesn’t want to make this harder for her than it already is, but even for someone like him, who always puts himself dead last, it’s hard to not feel these feelings of heartbreak.

I have a lot of love for this arc, especially because of the parallels. It’s pretty clear that Natsume got his looks and a lot of personality traits from Kaoru. He looks just like her, if a lot less smiley, and he’s also prone to dry humor and teasing his friends when he’s in a good mood. But the darker elements of his personality--like his tendency to give everything up and the fact that he’s suffered his entire life--have so much in common with Yuka, too. I’m sure Natsume noticed the similarities too.

Yuka had to give Mikan up to protect her, even though she loves her more than anything, even though all she really wanted was to start a family with her. Yuka’s future will never be what she wanted it to be. She will never be able to watch Mikan grow up. She has to give it up for Mikan’s sake.

"I couldn't protect her in any way but to let her go." - Natsume from the moment he fell in love with Mikan (it's actually a Yuka quote jsyk, I'm just making a connection). Why didn't we ever get a real Natsume-Yuka interaction? I've been robbed.

And Natsume gives Mikan up too, even though all he wants is a future with her, even though he loves her more than anything. Just like Yuka, his future will not be a pleasant one. They give up their own little pocket of sunshine so that the sunshine doesn’t get bogged down by the darkness they have to live in all the time. There is too much dark for light like that to survive.

The next scene that we see is Kaoru on the run, driving as fast as she can from some pursuers. Yuka just wants Kaoru to be safe, but it’s not to be. Her car crashes into a bus or a truck and her life ends.

Natsume has no choice but to watch it happen. Natsume isn’t as emotive as Mikan. He doesn’t run to the window to keep it from happening. He doesn’t collapse onto the floor. He simply stands there and keeps all the pain to himself. He wants to be the person Mikan can rely on for comfort, but he would never turn to somebody else for comfort, to burden them with his sadness. He won’t do it for his heartbreak, and he won’t do it for his mother’s death. He just takes it all on his own, because he always does. Besides, he always knew this would happen.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three

He wants to just take it all on his own, but almost everyone is worried about him. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t even have a moment of mourning for himself before the topic is suddenly changed to the Z boss. I understand that in universe they might be feeling stressed for what’s happening back in the present, and all the questions anybody brings up are important to talk about, but I do personally resent this a little. Natsume doesn’t even have the time to be comforted by anybody because the moment is suddenly on anything and everything else. Just like Mikan, he had to watch a parent die, but nobody’s had the time to hold him. Even if he wouldn’t let them worry, I’d rather see what would happen when his friends try. If there was just a little more time spent on Natsume’s reaction to it, and his friends wanting to comfort him, I’d feel better. As it is, the scene simply moves on as though it hardly matters. Not my favorite transitional moment in the arc, for sure.

So Mikan got many pages of rightfully being able to cry and mourn her father but Natsume gets this one page for his mother before everyone changes the subject? Jeez, Natsume, it happened like ten years ago! When are you gonna just get over it already?! I guess on the next page. Everyone else does, after all. :/

Although there was hardly any time for Natsume to mourn his mother (I’m still salty), Tono makes sure to take the time so everyone can give Mikan an alice stone for the future. Everyone tries to make her a stone, and they all vary in size and shape. Mikan catches Natsume’s eye. He’s the only one who hasn’t given her one yet.

He wordlessly gestures to the necklace with alice stones that she’s wearing. She finally knows for sure that the mysterious red stone she got before Valentine’s Day was from Natsume. He won’t say anything about what it meant for him. He stays silent the whole time, because anything he says could just make things harder. He’s already said what he needed to, without saying a word: that little pebble she gave him meant the world to him, so he had to give her something in return.

I want to see Natsume cry. I want to see him bawling. Why don't we get to see this kid cry? I'm pissed about it. Why does he swallow everything? No wonder he's so fucking sick.

Maybe Natsume doesn't say anything because there's nothing more to say. Maybe he stays quiet because he doesn't trust himself to not sound bitter or upset if he does. Maybe he shuts up because he's just been through an emotional ordeal and can't bring himself to. An emotional goodbye with Mikan seems like something he'd want, but it's less painful for both of them to not address any of the feelings he's been obvious about all night. It's an elephant in the room she doesn't need to point out. He doesn't want to get rejected. It's enough that she knows that she's loved, even if she doesn't love him back. Even if she never will because she's leaving and he'll never see her again. He'd rather they have this as their formal goodbye (not that they're parting right away) so that he doesn't say the wrong thing or hear the inconvenient thing.

He's put his whole heart on his sleeve and she hasn't said it back all night. He can guess for himself what that means, and he's accepted it. He accepted it from the beginning, when she first tackled him in that warehouse. She knows how he feels now. She has his stone around her neck too. That's the most he'll get forever, and he'll accept it. Accepting things is what he does.

Conclusion

Natsume loves Mikan and she knows it. There's no way that after everything that happened this night that she could walk away oblivious. She hasn't said much about her own feelings, so Natsume has no reason to assume she feels the same. He's about to be separated from her, and even though it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to deal with, he does. He swallows it, like he always does, and doesn't say a single word in protest.

In the next segment, we'll see Natsume continue to swallow it. He completely surrenders, because they only thing he really wants is for Mikan to be safe. He gives up completely. He won't even say goodbye when he's about to part with her for good, but one tiny moment will change everything and uproot every single assumption Natsume has ever made about how she must feel about him.

Sorry if this isn't properly cleaned up. I felt okay starting the editing process but I started feeling a bit sick as I went along and now I'm tired. It's late. Anyway I'll probably update tomorrow's much earlier in the day, after I visit the clinic to find out if I'm anemic. Yes, I am stupid (locked myself out of my car again) AND possibly anemic (hair keeps falling out). We exist.

It seems like the tags won't let me say it but the title image is Populaire-flavored (Zoe gets it, no doubt). Macarons and retro outfits bring Populaire to mind. I like that movie.

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #we'll talk abt mikan 'not reciprocating' in her version #it has no place here. here we only have natsumes sickeningly low self esteem #gosh he really depresses me. i want to protect this child.#end child abuse 2021 #anyway i was writing this essay and came across certain images of this child with a knife in his back and i got very angry #so i changed my blog title #ruka has a canon defense group so ill be natsumes #i will protect him always bc nobody does in canon and too many ppl hate him irl #dni if u hate natsume lmao #anyway song for this segment is boats and birds by gregory and the hawk #(demo version is my fav)#lots of giving up in that song #god if he could just be selfish i would be happy #the title image is good. theyre a very fancy married couple

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vaxyl · 4 years ago

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Tired and thoughts aren't super coherent rn, but idea time has struck;

Remember how Bird Boy offered himself in Vex's place during the ritual to bring Vex back in the tomb?

Well, what if a repercussion of that was Vax taking a permanent point of exhaustion as part of his soul was ripped away as payment for Vex being brought back to life?

And then, each time Vax begs his queen to spare someone and offers himself in their stead, he loses more of himself and gains more permanent points of exhaustion until he's practically in a coma?

Just, Vax killing himself a little bit each time he almost loses someone because he values them over himself?

And then, with the last person he saves being Velora, Vex decides to make a deal with the Raven Queen;

"return all of Vax's soul and let him live, he's given you so much and has suffered enough, let me take his place"

And the Raven Queen, so fond of Vax and not wanting her champion to die like this because it's so heartbreaking, accepts the deal?

But instead of outright killing Vex, she starts the cycle again with her and as Vax is restored to his normal non-exhausted state, Vex takes a permanent point of exhaustion now?

And then they all retire afterwards because they almost lost Vax with all of the Vecna business and all of the sacrifice stuff?

So Vex never has to get to the point Vax had?

Then on the day of Vex's wedding rehearsal, when she drowns, Vax asks for the last time for Vex to be spared and he offer's himself once again?

But the Raven Queen says no?

And she brings Vex back, yes, but she refuses to let the twins do this to eachother again

No more sacrifices, the time for that is over

So she leaves Vax's soul intact this time, restoring Vex's at the same time, before telling Vax she's letting him go?

And it confuses Vax

"letting me go? What do you mean?"

"you don't have to be my champion anymore, just be Vax'ildan again, I beg of you"

"did I do something wrong? Have I upset you? I can fix it! Do better! Be better!"

"no, my dear, I simply just can't watch you fade away anymore, it's so lonely and painful"

"but-"

"please, Vax'ildan, for me. Live. Live your life. Watch your sisters live their lives. Watch your niece live her's. be happy for me, don't grow lonely and fade away to keep me happy. you have earned your rest, go forth and take it. I'm so proud of you, but you break my heart. go be Vax'ildan again. I'll be waiting here for when it's time for you to come and start your duties properly"

And Vax is crying and confused and grateful?

Because while he was ready to die for his loved ones, while he wants to reunite with his mother and while he's happy to serve his queen for all of eternity...

He wants to live.

Start a gardenm

become a teacher perhaps? Or some kind of social worker for kids? Something like that?

Maybe even start a family with Keyleth, if she wants it too?

Fix things with Gilmore, because it still hurts and feels weird, but they do care so dearly for eachother? Why let things go on like this?

See his friends and family thrive? See Percy grow into the father and leader one can truly respect and look up to?

Maybe visit Byroden? Maybe even visit mom now and then?

Maybe help Velora find her path in life? Help her find herself and her true home?

The mark is gone from his chest now, but he gets a similar one tattooed on his inner right wrist to remind himself of everything

And he stays as a paladin of the Raven Queen, helping out at his local temple when he has the time for it

Because he still cares for and respects his lonely queen, wishes to be reunited with her when it's his time

Because she helped him see everything it is he nearly lost

And he wants to repay her by giving her something she doesn't have, something he's found to be so important

The feeling of loving and being loved in kind

And until that day comes, she watches over him?

Smiling and genuinely happy that he got to find himself, his purpose and his happy ever after, all of which he almost lost due to a fate chosen for him before his time and a series of misfortune?

And when he finally comes to her and enters her service again, she couldn't be prouder of the man he's become?

Idk guys, I'm just soft for Vax & his relationship with both Vex and The Raven Queen

I feel like this got away from me and probably makes little sense, sorry

But had to let it out

#critical role #cr spoilers #vax'ildan #vex'ahlia #the raven queen #hhhhh #brain go brrr #twinnies #her champion; his queen #vaxleth mentioned #long post #critical role au #critical role headcanons #lynias shut up challenge

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bytheangell · 4 years ago

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Married to the Dark

( @shadowhunterbingo square: Vampire!Alec, Rated Teen, No Archive Warnings) (Read on AO3)

To say what follows Alec's suggestion of Simon turning him into a vampire is a ‘discussion’ is being generous. Everyone speaks at once, an overwhelming cacophony of voices trying to be heard over each other. When they do unify to take turns it’s only to shout at Alec one at a time, to tell him over and over that he’s being drastic.

Like Izzy hadn’t almost been de-runed to protect Meliorn and save his life.

Like Jace and Clary haven’t put themselves in the position to die for each other more than once.

Like drastic measures for the ones they care about isn’t par for the course around here.

“Listen, Alec. I know you love Magnus. We all do, and so does he. No one expects you to do this just because you can. He’d never ask you to give up your life,” Jace argues.

“And I’d never ask him to give up his,” Alec counters, immediately on the defensive. “It hasn’t stopped him before.”

“At least take a night to think it over. We’ll reach out to every contact we have, every resource. Give us the chance to find another way,” Izzy pleads.

Alec’s tired. He’s so tired; tired of being afraid, tired of regretting the decisions that he’s made, tired of regretting the decisions he didn’t make, tired of constantly being at odds with everyone around him. He’s just tired. Too tired to argue any longer or shout back, even though he feels like he should be screaming right now, as loud and demanding as the thoughts in his head are.

Instead, he sighs.

“Fine. We’ll reconvene in the morning.” Alec chooses his words carefully, not agreeing to wait. He already knows that the moment they leave he’s going to march himself over to the Dumort to see if he can’t get some other vampire to agree in Simon’s place. The sooner he can get the others out of his hair, the sooner he can get started - he’ll need a few hours to set his affairs in order in case things go wrong.

Hell, he needs his affairs in order in case things go right. Because worst-case scenario he dies permanently, but best-case scenario he dies temporarily and comes back a vampire, and he needs to make sure things are in order for Izzy and Jace to take over in his stead, for the Downworlder Council to still run without him to helm it, and a number of other bureaucratic red tape issues that come to mind.

The group disperses, each of them giving Alec parting glances full of concern, and he does his best not to meet them with looks of bitterness and defiance. He knows they’re trying to look out for him but they don’t know what’s best for him. They don’t understand the desperation in his soul that tears him apart more and more every second he fails to save Magnus.

Alec knows what he needs to do. As the people closest to him leave the room Alec thanks them for being here for him, he thanks them for understanding, though they don’t realize he’s saying it in the hopes of them understanding what he’s about to do next. He hugs each of them goodbye - possibly for the last time - and tries not to show the sense of potential finality he feels with each lingering embrace.

“Alec?”

Simon’s voice startles Alec, so lost in his thoughts he didn’t realize the vampire hadn’t followed the others out of the room.

“Listen, I’m sorry I put you on the spot back there,” Alec says, coupling the words with another heavy sigh. Simon hates blood, and his own death and rebirth are still fresh enough to probably be pretty traumatizing to relive like this. And that’s outside of asking Simon to not only break the accords but to stand back and passively watch him die… it was impulsive and entirely out of line. An ‘I’m sorry’ really doesn’t cut it, Alec realizes, but he doesn’t have time for much else just then. “That was… it’s a lot.”

“You’re telling me,” Simon says, with a laugh that doesn’t quite sound genuine. A moment later the forced smile fades entirely into a deep-set frown. “You’re doing this tonight, aren’t you?”

“Simon…”

“Don’t lie to me, Alec. Those were goodbyes.” Simon doesn’t phrase it as a question.

“Yeah, they were,” Alec answers anyway. “Obviously, I don’t expect you to be the one to do it. I’ll find someone else, just don’t tell the others.”

“That’s the thing,” Simon says. “I don’t want to, but I also don’t want you to go to anyone else. If you are going to go through with this… I’ll do it.”

“Really?” Alec feels hopeful for the first time since Magnus left.

“But you need to really think about it because this isn’t some solution you run with on a whim. Most of the vampires I know never would’ve chosen this life. I know I wouldn’t have.” It’s strange to hear Simon so serious.

They haven’t talked about Clary’s decision to bury Simon as a group since it happened. Alec assumes he and Clary have, but Alec isn’t particularly close with either of them. Instead of finding Simon’s doubt that he’s thought this through annoying, Alec takes the concern to heart.

“Do you regret it?” Alec asks. This isn’t a conversation he particularly wants to have, but it’s one he knows he should before he finalizes the decision he’s already entirely set on in his mind.

“Sometimes,” Simon admits. “Sometimes I’m pretty sure I won’t last long after all of you… after you’re gone.”

There’s a heavy pause, and Alec wonders if Simon’s ever told that to anyone else before.

“I’m not telling you not to do it. I just… I want to make sure you really think about it. I guess that’s my duty as the resident immortal while Magnus is gone.” Simon manages a half-hearted huff of a laugh.

Alec nods. “I know what it means for me. And for my family. I don’t even know if Magnus would stay with me afterward if I did it… if it works. That’s how I know I’m serious about it - because I’d still do it to save him, even if he leaves me for it.”

Alec knows the truth of it. He doesn’t have any rose-colored mental images of riding off into the immortal sunset with Magnus on the other side of all this. But at least the choice is his alone this time, unlike the deal with Asmodeus - whatever happens to the two of them afterward is Magnus’ decision, for better or worse.

One thing is still the same: he’d do anything to save Magnus, even if he loses him in the fallout.

“Tell me you wouldn’t do the same to save Clary. Or your sister.” Alec challenges, desperate for Simon to see his side of this, to agree without a fight, and maybe even help him convince the others that it’s a risk worth taking.

“Of course I would,” Simon agrees, after only a moment’s pause.

“What about Izzy?” Alec knows he has no right to ask, especially not now, but he can’t help it.

Simon tenses at the question.

“I know the two of you are… new. But if I do this and things go sideways… look out for her for me, will you? Promise you’ll be there for her, and Jace, too?”

“You want me to kiss Jace?” Simon asks, and though he tries to force the light tone of a joke it’s tainted by the weight of their topic of conversation.

Alec rolls his eyes.

“I’d say that I would, but if you die and I’m the one who killed you, I can’t imagine I’m going to be much comfort,” Simon points out.

“Fair,” Alec agrees, once more aware of the weight of what he’s asking Simon to do and the position he’s putting the vampire in. “But try anyway?”

Simon nods in silent agreement.

“Listen, Simon. I get it. The concept of immortality, the idea of abandoning the life I was raised in by turning myself into one of the things I was raised to hunt? It fucking terrifies me. But if it’s my only way into Edom before it’s too late to save Magnus then I’m going to do it. Maybe it’s foolish and reckless, and the biggest mistake of my life - but it’s mine to make.”

Alec watches Simon shuffle around a bit, bouncing his weight from one foot to the other while avoiding Alec’s gaze. After bouncing back and forth between desperate pleading and trying to force himself to stay calm enough to hold a rational conversation about his own life and potential immortality, Alec knows there’s a lot here to process. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly for either of them.

“Alright,” Simon says finally, more to himself than to Alec. “Fuck. Alright. We’re doing this. Let’s do this.”

Alec’s heartbeat doubles in speed at those words, the anticipation and anxiety ramping up immediately. They’re really going to do this. He’s really going to do this.

“Give me… two hours. I have some things I need to do first,” Alec says.

“Sure. That gives me time to get what I need, too,” Simon says. Alec doesn’t ask what he’s going to say to get the blood bags Alec will need when (if) he turns. He has enough to worry about on his end of things.

Simon’s nearly to the door when he stops and faces Alec again. “And to answer your question… I would. I’d do it to save Izzy’s life, too.”

Alec smiles at that, his first genuine smile since everything fell apart.

Izzy will have Simon. Jace has Clary. Maryse has Luke. Max has all of them. Alec’s decision sits a little easier knowing those who would feel his loss the hardest would be taken care of in his absence, should things go wrong.

Something in Alec settles with that reassurance, and he feels a renewed confidence that things are falling into place because this is the right call. He can do this. He has to do this because the alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.

So Alec gets to work, comforted by the knowledge that everyone he cares about has a person who cares about them just as much, someone he’s certain would protect them at any cost.

Alec has one, too - and now it’s time to go save him.

#alec lightwood #simon lewis #malec #sizzy #shadowhunters #shbingo #hmdiscord #a little 'what if' of Alec deciding to go through with the impulsive idea of turning himself into a vampire to save Magnus #with a touch of sizzy feels for good measure #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #long post

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crossdressingdeath · 4 years ago

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Seeing your post about how JYL has a 'ranking system' in her head when it comes to WWX and JC hits so hard, but honestly, the more I read into the Jiang family dynamics, the more I agree. JYL obviously loves WWX, but I don't know if she's capable of putting him above JC. And we see her defending him, and she obviously gives her life for him, but she was also reacting in the moment. Not to speak lightly of her sacrifice of course, but I just feel like there are certain limits to how 1/7

far she's actually willing to go for him. I was initially one of JYL's staunch defenders, and always said that, unlike JC, she didn't have the same amount of political power as him, wasn't in a position to do anything about the Wens, ect. But...I'm starting to question if that's really true. JYL may not have had much direct political power herself, but she was the sister of a sect leader, and even if JC was unwilling to help, JYL had just married into the richest and most powerful sect 2/7

at the time. It was a love marriage, JZX adored her and would've done anything for her if she'd just bothered to ask him for it. Madam Jin also cared for her and respected her, and between her and JZX, had JYL actually bothered to tell them anything, I'm sure they would have been able to sort something out. Or she could have had it as a condition of her marriage - I'm not marrying into the sect that's trying to kill my brother unless you tell your father to stop. Had it been reversed and 3/7

The Lans were calling for JYL and JC’s deaths, no way in hell WWX would’ve just married into the sect, regardless of LWJ’s involvement. Instead she just doesn’t really do anything. We see no proof that she ever tried to see WWX after the wedding dress incident, which — god I instantly saw it as a sweet gesture, but now it just bothers me, because your brother is living in squalor, and you decide to show if the expensive dress that you’ll be 4/7

wearing when marrying into the sect that's trying to kill him, you bring along one bowl of soup for him, and don't even try to explain WHY you're marrying into said sect. Beyond that, we don't see a single moment up until her death where JYL actually seems concerned about WWX, puts in effort to try to see him - she doesn't even ask him how he's doing the one time she does come to see him. When we compare that to how WQ treats WN, yeah, she's outwardly not as loving or sweet, but she 5/7

goes to the ends of the earth for her brother, even going as far as to betray her sect and risk WRH's wrath because he asks her to. And now we come back to that ranking system you mentioned before - yeah, it really does seem like JYL places her blood family first, which definitely hurts, but in comparison, despite only knowing him for a shorter amount of time, WQ truly grows to think of WWX as a second brother. And she treats him as such, at an equal level with WN - after JZX dies 6/7

WQ doesn't attack WWX for what happened. She doesn't try to come up with a way to sacrifice WWX instead and let WN survive in his stead. She and WN, two people who have become WWX's family, both give their lives to protect both him and the rest of their remaining family members. And it's just frustrating to think that the one member of WWX's adopted family who we all thought treated him like an actual brother, might not have really been on his side after all. 7/7

Yes! To start with the wedding dress thing, because it drives me nuts when people treat that like some super sweet act of love: JYL shows up in the Burial Mounds with no money, no sign of having tried to talk the sects around, no news outside of her own, no food beyond a couple bowls of soup (one of which she gives to the guy who can’t eat), and doesn’t so much as ask WWX if he’s okay. She literally came all that way to have a family meal, ask WWX to name the future nephew it’s becoming increasingly clear he’ll never meet, and tell him about her impending marriage into the family that’s currently doing everything in its power to destroy WWX’s life. Like, if you think about it that entire visit is such a slap in the face; “Here’s a bowl of soup while the people under your protection are starving, oh by the way I’m going to marry the son of the guy actively trying to get you killed, okay bye”. All you can say in regards to her helping WWX is that she does potentially manage to persuade JZX to invite him to JL’s one month celebration, but if memory serves the novel never actually specifies whose idea that was and it was JZX who decided to go get WWX after JGY told him about seeing JZXun heading in the direction of the Burial Mounds. And even then JZX does the same thing JYL does; sees WWX outnumbered and surrounded and tells him to stand down. At least in JZX’s case you could argue that the actual fighting hadn’t broken out and JZX probably trusted in his authority to be able to sort the situation out so long as WWX wasn’t actually acting aggressive (or defensive, rather), and he’s also physically strong enough that he may well have been able to intervene if the cultivators had attacked. JYL, when she does the same thing, has no authority and no physical power to defend WWX with. And yeah, both JZX and Madam Jin adore JYL, and neither of them seem super fond of JGS (JZX respects his father, but I don’t get the sense he loves him); if JYL had asked them for help it’s entirely possible they would’ve started at least circulating her version of events and demanding a proper investigation into what happened. But there’s no mention of her so much as trying, and she doesn’t offer to ask them when she visits WWX.

And yeah, compare WQ to JYL and it’s... well. WQ is so quick to offer WWX her love and care? She’s harsh, but she loves him and views him and WN on such equal footing that she and WN willingly hand themselves over to the Jins for WWX’s sake without her so much as bringing up the possibility of saving WN instead. There’s no ranking for WQ; WWX and WN are her brothers, and she loves them, and she’d do anything to protect them. When it becomes clear she can’t save WN (like hell the sects would let him live, and by this point it’s pretty clear that WWX won’t be able to protect them forever) she throws her whole weight behind defending the brother she thinks she might still be able to save, even if it means bringing WN with her to die. WQ knows WWX for... a year or two? Maybe? The timeline is a little hazy. Not long compared to JYL, anyway. And yet she’s willing to walk all the way to Lanling to die in the hope of saving him. It’s for her whole family, yes, but she makes a point of including him. Basically, I think this fandom needs more stuff wherein the Jiangs and Wens survive and the Wens are fully like “Our brother now, you don’t deserve him”.

The thing with JYL is... she loves WWX, she genuinely does, but he is never going to be first for her. To the point where she outright enables JC’s abuse, in places; she always expects WWX to be the one to grin and bear it. Hell, one of their first conversations involves JYL cheerily allowing WWX to cover up JC locking him out of his bedroom and scaring him out into the woods by threatening to set dogs on him! Let me rephrase that: she allows a traumatized nine-year-old to hide the fact that the kid her dad expects him to share a room with locked him out of said room on his FIRST NIGHT and threatened him with his LITERALLY WORST FEAR, and as far as we know makes no attempt to tell JFM herself. To keep JC out of trouble. That is such a thing! WWX was scared to the point of running away and JFM expects him to share a room with the person responsible for that and JYL goes along with him promising not to tell JFM so that JC won’t get in trouble! And from that day forwards everything is just “Boys will be boys” to her. Like, let me put it this way. Before LWJ (and arguably the Wens before that, although WWX saw himself more as protector than protected there) JYL was the person WWX trusted to protect and care for and comfort him above all others, yeah? She’s the one he thinks of as having his back? He doesn’t tell her about JC trying to kill him. JC tries to kill WWX three times before JYL’s death, and WWX doesn’t say a word to her about any of them. You could argue that he doesn’t want to involve her, but... JYL pretty clearly takes JC’s side every time JC starts having a go at WWX. When he chases him out of their room, when he starts snapping about how annoying WWX is, when he stabs WWX... She never outright says it, but there really does come a point where by staying neutral you’re siding with the aggressor, and she reaches that point a lot. Hell, the stabbing is one of those aforementioned near-murders! JC stabbed him! According to WWX (who downplays serious injuries, he never exaggerates them) he had to hold his guts in! WWX is talking about a pretty fucking serious injury (and JYL grew up in a cultivation sect, I don’t believe for a second she doesn’t at least know what constitutes a serious injury) while JC whines about a broken arm like it’s worse than having to physically hold your guts in until you can reach a doctor and JYL acts like those are equal! JC could easily have killed WWX and has enough training with the sword to know better than to go for a blow like that in a staged fight and JYL doesn’t even suggest he should apologise.

Honestly? The more I think about JYL the more it pisses me off that she’s treated like WWX’s best sister more than WQ is. Imagine WQ seeing one brother stab the other in the gut and take the former’s side because the latter broke the former’s arm. Imagine WQ so much as considering allowing a child to cover up the kid he’s supposed to share a room with locking him out and scaring him into running away. She wouldn’t! Because WQ sees her brothers as equals. She won’t pick WN over WWX just because they’re blood siblings; she loves them both, and will choose based on who she thinks is in the right. And she wouldn’t just stay neutral to avoid rocking the boat, oh no. If WQ heard WWX say that WN stabbed him and did enough damage that he had to hold his guts in... oh boy would WN have a bad day. The thing with JYL is that she seems like a good sister in comparison to the rest of the Jiangs; stick canon JYL into a family that genuinely loves WWX and sees him as equal to their other children, and she would not look anywhere near as good.

#mdzs #lotus sister #i still love jyl but... well #she's not actually a good sister to wwx despite being the only jiang to claim him as family #she looks good in comparison to the rest of the jiangs #but i'd pick wq over her any day #anon #asks

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greyias · 4 years ago

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@shanfamilydrama asked:

Also I'm 👀👀 for more Grey Dantooine backstory/headcanons, pretty please!

Ask and ye shall receive! So I have this document in my sprawling, semi-organized SWTOR Scrivener file titled “Highwind Family History” that I apparently created *checks date* in May of 2017. And it is somehow over 4400 words long. (I will spare everyone and not copy pasta the thing). But it is interesting how pieces of 6.3 do dovetail into many aspects of it!

So, in fic form, I’ve hinted at Grey’s backstory, and talked about aspects of it here and there, but the entire story hasn’t come out yet -- mostly because it comes as a reveal in the story introducing her brother Draike, as part of an explanation on why their relationship is so strained and antagonistic.

But the TL;DR version of it is:

Grey was born on Dantooine, the second of Davin Onasi and Vainas Highwind’s three children. She grew up in the small farming community of the Khoonda Plains, in the wide countryside where an abandoned Jedi Enclave always loomed on the horizon. In some ways, the ruins always called to her, tantalizing and mysterious, promising adventure.

From the moment Vainas told little Grey of the Force and her adventures as a Jedi during the Great Galactic War, the little girl decided she would become a Jedi. In the way that some children want to grow up to be firefighters, Grey dreamed of being a hero just like her mother, of venturing out into the galaxy and saving the day. Lightsabers sounded so cool, the Force so amazing, it had to be her destiny. Why be a farmer when you could wield a laser sword?

Her mother taught her the basics of the Force, mostly boring meditation. She dutifully attended those lessons, in the hopes that one day her mother would teach her the more advanced things. And maybe she’d have her own lightsaber and go on adventures too!

And then one fateful day, she got her wish.

(or, as a small snippet from an extensively reworked piece I wrote a few years put it:)

Grey took another deep breath in, feeling the warmth and surety of the Force as she followed its pull towards the old ruins of the abandoned Jedi Enclave. It was technically against the rules to be here, she’d been told time and time again that the area was off limits — too ancient and dangerous to be explored unescorted. But just as many times that her mother had warned her away from the ruins, she’d also talked about the importance of listening to and obeying the will of the Force. And so if the Force knew everything, then maybe it knew when there was an exception to her mother’s rules. And today the Force was practically singing from the ruins, telling her to follow her mother’s impossibly tall Togruta Jedi friend. Every step she took, she could feel the deep voice of the universe beckoning her further. Humming on some inaudible frequency that today was finally the day.

Her adventure as a Jedi was about to begin.

The Togruta Jedi mentioned here is Thyos Dae, and Vainas’s former Padawan. You see, Thyos came to Dantooine because of an Ancient Artifact McGuffin I hadn’t quite figured out, and had meant to beat a Sith and his followers there to remove said McGuffin from the Enclave. However, he gets sidetracked almost as soon as he lands, meeting up with his old Master (whom he thinks of like an older sister) in the marketplace. Vainas invites Thyos to stay with them since they live close enough to the ruins to give him a home base of sorts.

And so over the next few days, he divides his time between the ruins, and catching up with Vainas and bonding with her family. Until one of those days at the ruins, he finds he’s been followed by a curious little girl who is not as good at hiding as she thinks she is. Being a responsible adult, he resigns himself to escorting little Grey back, but on the way, something... feels wrong. So wrong, at one point, Grey stops heeding his advice and starts running.

And by the time they get back to the Highwind homestead, the house is ablaze--and the yard is littered with bodies. Of Davin. Of Vainas. And several felled attackers.

While he was away, that (currently unnamed) Sith had finally tracked down where the mysterious Togruta from the marketplace was staying, thinking that said McGuffin Artifact might be there. There were individuals strong in the Force inside, so to them it made sense to attack first, and ask questions later.

Curiously, the two Highwind boys are nowhere to be found -- and the search for them becomes Thyos’s personal mission. As well as taking care of the now orphaned Force sensitive child who is desperately shaking her mother’s body in an attempt to wake her.

Thyos, of course, feels responsible for all of the children. He feels that this is his fault, that he led his adversary here -- and he spends the rest of his life trying to do his best to parent all three of them in Vainas’s stead.

Grey takes away a different lesson, though. She’d disobeyed her mother -- and in doing so was robbed of seeing her again, of ever getting to say goodbye. She had ignored the rules, and somehow, this is what happened when someone broke the rules. If she never disobeyed again, if she followed every single rule, then maybe no one she loved would ever die again. If she became the perfect Jedi, if she focused every bit of herself on that, then she could make it up to her mother.

And maybe if she was good enough... one day the Force would bring them back together. Because there is no death, there only is the Force. Or so she was told. And so she would tell herself every time she recited the Jedi Code.

This is of course, just the rationalizations of a traumatized child who has just lost her entire world. Trying to make sense of what is ultimately a senseless act. Outside of herself, no one would begin to blame her for something that is obviously completely out of her control. And so she creates this perfect ideal of a Jedi in her mind, a child’s idea of a hero that she never really shakes, even as an adult. It may not be who the Jedi really are--and she may rationalize anything to the contrary of this fragile world view.

(Granted, the events at the end of Chapter 2 do a pretty good job of shattering that on their own. But I mean, at that point she’s COMMITTED.)

WHICH... brings us to 6.3! And with all of the above in mind, why this dialogue exchange unexpectedly punched me right in the feels.

Like I know it’s not the exact same, but as I was going through that scene, all I could think of was that Grey was not thinking about the events of KOTOR 1 or 2, but her first attempted, ill-fated trip to the ruins. (Something that she might have been thinking about the entire time, but trying to push to the back of her mind.) She thinks of the strange pull the Enclave had on her as a child, she thinks of the pain and suffering, the senseless deaths that were connected to this place.

Not the lives ended by an orbital bombardment, but the lives of two people she misses very much, even to this day.

And yet... she continues to walk further into the ruins, and closer to the darkness that Malgus has unleashed inside. Because she’s still not convinced she’s done enough, still hasn’t measured up against that childish ideal quite enough to make her mother proud.

#oc: greyias highwind #oc: thyos dae #oc: vainas highwind #THE backstory #it's um #more angsty than i had ever intended on giving her #but i blame draike (metatextually)#(how this evolved into what it is is a whole different discussion)#but it realllly slots into place in some ways with some of the dialogue choices in the knight storyline #shanfamilydrama #(thank you for prompting me to share!)#(even if its a backstory full of sads :( )

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kotachii · 4 years ago

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Ohayo! if you don't mind making a drabble / scenario, where Ace had a lover at wano arc also the older sister of O-Tama, how would the strawhats will react especially luffy, if you only don't mind hehe😅

Strawhat’s Reaction to Ace’s S/O

Note: Thank you for the request!

When the Strawhats first realized that the person who saved them was Ace's lover, they were beyond shocked. Nami visibly gasped, Zoro's expression sunken, Chopper was biting his lips to hold back tears. A look of confusion spread across the group as they look at eachother, unsure if they should reveal that Ace is no longer alive. Once again, the guilt to not be at Marineford and help their captain rescue Ace overwashes the crew.

Seeing the sudden change in atmosphere, (Name) asks confused, "What's wrong?"

She was faced with a sea of silence, everyone unsure of what to say. Until Robin finally asked, "Did O-Tama tell you about Ace recently?". (Name) shook her head--

"Portgas D. Ace is dead," Luffy interjected.

You whipped your head to look at him, not sure if you heard him wrong. Luffy's face was expressionless. "If that's a joke it's not funny," you warned.

But Luffy's face remained the same, "He's dead."

Suddenly, you grabbed Luffy by his collar, you were furious, "I said it's not funny!"

"He's right, (Name)..." Nami tried to interject, but finds herself at a loss of words

"No you guys are lying!", you yelled

"Y-Yeah, it happened two years ago during the War at Marinefor--", Usopp continued in Nami's stead

"No you guys are lying!", you repeated again.

And Luffy slapped you.

Not even a light slap, he legit slapped you across the face really hard that you let go of him.

"Luffy are you out of your mind?!", the crew shouted at him in unision.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Luffy?", Sanji said menacingly, angry at Luffy for slapping a woman.

"She was repeating the same sentence so I thought I would wake her up."

"It doesn't work like that!!", Nami, Chopper, and Usopp all sighed.

Regardless, their attention turned back to you, who is now in tears. You were completely numb, not even feeling the stinging pain in your cheek

"B-but Ace promised.....he will come back and take me out to sea with him when O-tama is old enough...and that he would marry me."

"Oh dear, (Name)-san," Robin whispers to herself. Seeing how sad you were, the crew was visibly broken. Franky has started sobbing.

You continued, "Portgas (Name).....he said I should start getting used to this name, but what's the point now?"

"It's not pointless, (Name)," Nami stopped you, "you loved him right?"

You looked at her and nodded.

"Then that's why it's not pointless!"

Luffy approached you again, "I'm Ace's brother, Monkey D. Luffy, I know that Ace would want you to still take on his name."

Chopper was trying hard to hold back his tears "(Name), my teacher once said that a man only dies when he is forgotten..."

"Chopper is r-right, (Name), carry on the Portgas Name, don't let it die out," Usopp says to you.

"Portgas (Name) has a nice ring to it," Robin chuckles to herself.

"Wait, if Ace is my brother, and you are Portgas (Name) now...then that makes you my sisters!", Luffy exclaimed.

"Wait--What, Luffy?"

"Yeah, that means you are my sister now...and O-Tama too!"

You chuckled, "I guess you're right."

Finally, a warm smile spread across the crew and Luffy laughed too, "Shishishi, I can't wait to tell Sabo about you now."

#ace x reader #One Piece #one piece scenarios #luffy #strawhats #one piece x reader

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dany-is-my-queen · 4 years ago

Text

Born To Be Yours | Part VI

Sansa Stark x Fem! Baratheon! Reader (Daenerys Targaryen x Fem! Baratheon! Reader eventually)

Season 1-8

Word count: 1,993

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

The Hound was fighting an unarmed opponent atop the Walls of the Red Keep during a tourney to celebrate your brother’s nameday. He knocked his shield away and the man fell hard into the courtyard below.

You were seated next to Myrcella, Sansa was on the opposite edge, faking smiles to keep the King pleased. You grew closer and closer with each day that passes, so as your feelings.

“Well struck, Dog!” He said out loud.

“Did you like that?” He turned to Sansa. You rolled your eyes.

“It was a well struck, your grace.” She replied.

“I already said it was a well struck.”

She waited a few seconds to confirm. “Yes, your grace.”

“Who’s next?”

“Lothor Brune, freerider in the service of Lord Baelish. Ser Dontos the Red of House Hollard.” The announcer exclaimed. The last one didn’t appear to be in his five senses. Joffrey gestured him to have more wine, Ser Meryn Trant and another Kingsguard began to pour the liquid down the funnel and the poor knight gurgled and struggled to continue drinking.

“You can’t!” Sansa suddenly shouted before the man collapsed.

“What did you say? Did you say I can’t?”

“I only meant... it would be bad luck to kill a man on your name day.”

“What kind of stupid peasant’s superstition...”

“The girl is right.” Sandor tossed.

“Yes, she is. You’ll reap what you sow on your nameday.” You added.

“He’ll make such a better fool than a knight. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of a quick death.” How kind of the northerner to save the life of someone she doesn’t even know. Those small actions make you admire her.

“Did you hear my lady, Ser Dontos? From now on you’ll be my new fool!”

“Thank you, your grace. And you, my lady, thank you.” They took him away.

“Beloved nephew.” Your uncle’s voice made you instantly smile. He was accompanied by multiple men.

“We’ve looked for you on the battlefield. Joffrey sat down. “You where nowhere to be found.”

“I was here, ruling the Kingdoms.” You almost sneer.

“What a fine job you’ve done.” He jokingly said.

“My dear niece! You look older and prettier.” He kissed your forehead. You grinned.

“You look younger and more handsome” He winked.

“Look at you!” He smiled at your sister. “More beautiful than ever.”

“And you! You are going to be bigger than the Hound, but much better looking.” The three of you laughed.

“We’ve heard you were dead.” Joffrey unconcernedly said.

“I’m glad you are not dead.” The little princess assured.

“We’ve missed you. We have to catch up.” He nodded towards you.

“And we will. Death is so boring, especially now with so much excitement in the world.” He looked at Sansa. “My lady, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Her loss? Her father was a confessed traitor!” The blond angrily screamed.

“But still her father. Surely having recently lost your own you can sympathize.” Not his, but yours. You closed your eyes before the grief took over you.

“My father was a traitor. My mother and brother are traitors too. I am loyal to my beloved Joffrey.” All she can do is pretend and say the right words. The loathe she had for him was only getting bigger.

“Of course you are.” Tyrion smirked sympathetically. The redhead looked your way and you gave her a sweet smile.

He left the tent with his group of people ignoring the King’s questions. It’s so good to have your favorite uncle back. You were still concerned about Jaime. Will the Starks trade him for Sansa? It was sure that Robb was not going to come to the capital. Arya was still missing.

You wanted her to be reunited with her family. The other part of you was shattering at the thought of her leaving. If there was an opportunity you would definitely support her, after all, what mattered to you was her safety and happiness, you tried to provide both but nothing can really fill that hole. Not with Joffrey tormenting her. You would be sad but relieved if she left, you couldn’t be selfish.

“Walk with me, my lady.” You offered your arm to Sansa what she gladly accepted.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to steal you.” You quipped and saw she blushed a little. “Would you fancy visiting the streets of the city?”

“Yes, I’d love to.” Two soldiers were accompanying you keeping their distance.

“I remember when I used to wander around the castle in Winterfell. They were all warm to each other.” She seemed to recalled.

“The people who live here... some are happy and some are not. They don’t have enough resources to subsist. They manage to survive.” You gave silver and gold coins to the elder and children who roamed.

“My mother used to tell me... humility makes people great. Envy and selfishness makes them small.”

“And she’s right.” You halted in the market. Spotting the tent you usually go to. They make beautiful things. Such as purses, necklaces, bracelets, etc. They are not made of the finest materials but they are nice and these merchants work really hard.

“Princess Y/N! You honor me with your presence.” The black-haired woman said, a friend of yours.

“Hello, Addy. What did you bring today?

“I have these pins. And the two lions you have it made.” She showed you the wood pieces with flawless details.

“Do you like them, Sansa? Choose the ones you want”

“For my siblings and my mother.” She picked five wolf brooches.

“Thank you very much. Say hello to little Cass. And remember, anything she or the other kids on the orphanage need, tell me.” Addy nodded with gratitude and bowed.

“It’s very generous what you do for them. You are truly an angel.” The lady smiled warmly.

“I know being in the Red Keep can be suffocating. I’ll get you out of there anytime I get the chance.”

“You are my hero.” You part ways once you entered the big castle. You headed to your uncle’s new room.

“The Hand of the King... I didn’t see that coming.” He waved at you.

“Me neither, sweet niece. It’s so good to see you! How is everything in here? I just had a meeting with the council. The summer is over. Your mother was quite angry with the fact I’m the Hand in my father’s stead. She brought this on herself. The North has risen up against us when your moron brother called for Ned Stark’s head.”

“I tried to stop him. It was useless. He thinks he owns the world now, he is not ruling cautiously, I fear for my siblings life, for everyone’s life.”

“Luckily I’m here to supervise his moves. Advise him. Save the city. Not as easy as it sounds I’m afraid.”

“Did you stayed out of trouble?” You asked him well knowing the answer.

“Well... I pissed out in the edge of the Wall. I slept in a sky cell. Lady Arryn almost sentenced me to die. I fought with the hill tributes. So many adventures.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh I see, that must have been a lot of fun.” Both of you laughed.

“You can’t imagine.”

It has been an unsteady week. Being with little Tommen and Myrcella has been a distraction from the incoming war you’re dealing with. Renly and Stannis proclaimed themselves Kings. You like to be up to date, so you talk with your mother about these matters.

“My uncles... they’re going to get here anytime soon. We have to be prepared.”

“They have no claim. Let them try. We’ll kick them off the moment they set foot on the shores.” Cersei declared dryly.

“I’ve heard some... disturbing rumors about-“

“You believe them?”

“Absolutely not. I’m just curious.” You shrugged.

“Everyone’s intention is to tear our family apart. Destroy us from within. This gossip is just feeding those who don’t want your brother on the throne.” And you said nothing more.

“You’re losing the people, do you hear me?” Tyrion tried to make her listen.

“The people, you think I care?”

“You should.” You told her, annoyed by her apathy.

“Yes. You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead. Half the city will starve when winter comes. The other half will plot to overthrow you. And your gold-plated thugs just gave them the rallying cry, “The Queen Slaughter babies.” She remained silent. “You don’t even have the decency to deny it.” You scowled. “It wasn’t you who gave the order, was it? Joffrey didn’t even tell you. Or did he? I imagine that would be even worse.” Your uncle growled.

“He did what needed to be done!”

“No. They were innocent. What’s wrong with you? What kind of King is he becoming? You objected.

“You don’t even know who they were, Y/N. This is what ruling is! Lying on a bed of weeds, ripping them out by the root one by one before they strangle you in your sleep.”

“I’m no king, but I think there’s more ruling than that.”

“You’ve never taken it seriously. It’s all fallen on me.”

“As has Jaime repeatedly. According to Stannis Baratheon.” You averted your eyes.

“How dare you say that kind of filthy lies in front of my daughter!” The Queen Regent gave him a withering look. “You’ve always been funny. But none of your jokes will ever match the first one, will they? You remember... when you ripped my mother, open your way out of her and she bled to death.” It hurt to see the look of your uncle’s face.

“She was my mother too.”

“Now she’s gone, for the sake of you. There’s no bigger joke in the world than that.” She stormed out, you followed her.

“You shouldn’t be so cruel with my uncle. If I had lost you when either Myr or Tom were born I would never blame them. I know it must have been pretty hard growing up without your mom, but don’t take it out on him.”

“She died so he could live. A little freak. An abomination.” She spat poison.

“Don’t speak of him that way.”

“Why you defend him so much?”

“Cause he is my family. He is a good person.”

“Joffrey is also your family. And yet you detest him.”

“He has a serious problem. You don’t want to see it or maybe you’re okay with it. Remember when we were kids? I was four and he was five. He used to find pleasure on pushing me, you just stared at us and said it was a normal thing. I grew up and I was able to defend myself, one time I did it and you freaked out, you yelled at me, made me feel so small... you held him while I was sobbing, just because I moved when he tried to hit me making him fell to the ground. Of course, it was my fault according to both of you. How many times did Joffrey hurt me? Said I was ugly cause I wasn’t blonde like him? That I didn’t deserve to be a princess, he was so mean to me and you never lectured him. I recall how many nights I spent crying alone in my room wondering why my mother didn’t care enough to stand up for me when my big brother treated me like I was worthless. You broke my heart a very long time ago. I learned how to pick up the pieces. I’m not that helpless little girl anymore.” You could feel your eyes starting to get teary. You didn’t expect her to say something soothing. Cersei apparently ran out of words, you thanked for her silence instead of lying to you, deep down you hoped she’d embrace you. It was too much to ask for. You lingered a bit more before turning and leaving. Heartbroken once more.

#sansa stark x reader #sansa x fem baratheon reader #game of thrones fic #got #baratheon reader

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fragmentedink-archived · 4 years ago

Text

Hell to Pay: Part Fifty

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII, XLVIII, XLIX

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warnings for child death, mentions of stillborn children, child illness, abusive parents, appearance of Az’ril

Amara shuffled in front of the doors of Biela’s palace. This was not a conversation she wanted to have. But it was a conversation that needed to be had. Not that she really had a choice either way.

With a small breath to steady herself, Amara slipped inside. There were no guards in sight, but there weren’t supposed to be, anyway. In sight, at least. That didn’t mean Amara wasn’t aware she was being watched every step of the way up to Biela’s office.

Halfway there, a familiar face poked out of a nearby room. “Caius,” Amara said in greeting, relaxing some. He looked the image of his sister, Biela. Black hair, blue eyes, and bronze skin. Other than the fact that he was an alpha, and, well, a man, was that he was at least six foot, and Amara didn’t think she’d ever seen Biela smile so openly.

Today his smile was a bit more strained as he said, “If it isn’t the reason my sister’s more prickly than usual.”

Amara grimaced at that. “I know I joke about wanting your sister to step on me, but- not really digging it at the moment.”

“Probably wise, considering she’s dealing with this personally,” Caius said, before adding, “I can’t imagine your cousin’s first interaction with her was all that pleasant.”

That deserved the wince it got. “Probably not,” Amara agreed. “I haven’t been to see him yet. He’s wanted... space.” She swallowed, tried for a smile. “At least he’s not the type to hit on her like Nik? He probably shit himself when he saw her.”

“Oh he’d definitely be dead then,” Caius said.

“Good thing for us all that he’s an anxious gay mess then,” she said.

“Not for you.”

She winced.

“Do you realize the position your actions put us all in?” he said. “My sister went herself to deal with this. There is a reason that I am usually the one to go in her stead, and a good deal of that reason is because I am far more likeable and far more merciful. You made a mistake, Amara.”

“I know,” Amara said softly. “I fucked up.”

“You can’t unring this bell with an apology.”

“I can’t unring it period. Even if Lev dies, and I’ll be the first to admit he’s not out of the woods yet, it’s not going- it’s not going to undo what I made Cyrus do.”

“We’ll see if the witch survives this too,” Caius said, nodding up the hall to Biela’s study. “She’s waiting for you.”

Lovely. She just nodded and eased inside the office.

The office was bright, full of far more color than Amara would have expected if she hadn’t been there before. It was warm and open, but not even that could ease the trepidation in Amara’s chest as she crossed the room to Biela’s desk.

“Sit down,” Biela said, not even looking up from her paperwork.

Amara sat.

The silence stretched long enough Amara shifted uncomfortably in the soft chair. She’d not been stupid enough to bring weapons with her, and the lack of anything to fidget with didn’t help with how antsy she felt.

Eventually Biela looked up, leaning back in her chair. “Well thank you for gracing us with your presence.”

It took Amara a few seconds to pick out her response. “I should have come sooner,” she finally said.

Biela lifted a brow. “Before or after you poisoned my lands?”

“Before,” Amara said quietly.

“Yes.”

As Amara struggled to figure out what to say, Biela started sliding photos across the desk. A cold, sick feeling curdled Amara’s breakfast in her stomach. Those were sick children. Infants. Stillborns. Mortality was high in angels and demons both, but Amara’s magic was screaming that something was wrong with these children beyond the usual difficulties both immortal races had with pregnancy and childbirth, even if she couldn’t see anything beyond the sickly, unnatural thinness. When Amara looked up at Biela, who hadn’t stopped sliding more and more across the desk, there was no forgiveness in her icy stare.

I didn’t know. She choked the words off before they could even rise in her throat, stuffing it back down deep. Biela was a telepath. Likely she’d seen it, but Amara shoved it deeper anyway, and looked back down at the growing pile.

“How many?” She finally croaked.

“How many what?” she asked, venomously. “How many were born dead? How many died shortly after birth or how many are untouched by what you have done?”

“How many dead?” She asked, hating herself more with every word. “How many sick because of what I did?”

“The numbers are still coming in, but they’re in the thousands.”

Amara folded her arms over her stomach to keep from reaching for one of the photos. She had done this. Caius had warned her an apology wouldn’t fix this, but she hadn’t even imagined-

She couldn’t even look Biela in the eye anymore.

“Nothing to say?” Biela asked in a steely tone.

“I could spend the rest of my life trying to atone and nothing would-” Amara thought she might be sick. “I had no idea- but that is no excuse.” Gods, those were children. Infants.

Biela stood, leaning across the desk enough that Amara finally looked up out of sheer instinct. “I have half a mind to whip you and your cousin bloody.”

Amara would have taken it, and gladly, but that could kill Lev, on a good day. Lev was far enough from a good day to send a chill down her spine. Still, she knew better than to say anything at all, and just pressed her lips into a shaky line.

“Why should your pathetic cousin live, and thousands of children die?” Biela demanded. “He’s had a hundred and thirty seven years to do something with his life, and he’s done nothing but cower.”

The worst part was Amara had no answer for her.

“What, nothing to say to that either?”

“I don’t,” Amara admitted in a small voice. “I don’t have any answers.” She was in so far over her head.

“Well that is indeed a first.” Biela stared her down unflinchingly. “Maybe this time you’ll keep your arrogance in check. Instead of executing you, I’m letting you live with this.”

Amara almost would have preferred an execution. And maybe that was exactly why Biela wasn’t going to give it to her.

“I’m sorry doesn’t begin to cover it,” Amara finally whispered. “But I am. I am so, so sorry.”

“I’ll be sure to pass that along to the thousands of families that are grieving,” Biela said, before giving a final, dismissive, “Get out.”

Amara all but bolted. The guilt chased her down the hall, and would for a good few decades yet.

---

Nik had to admit he was less than pleased with the anxiety curling in his stomach as he waited outside of Cameron’s office door. He had probably been standing outside for a solid five minutes, trying to form exactly what he was going to say to make sure Cameron didn’t hate him, when Cameron’s voice yanked him out of his head.

“Get in here.”

Right.

Nik went inside, not surprised to find the window was already open for Nik’s benefit when Cameron motioned to shut the door. Of course Cameron was working on something; there wasn’t a single minute of the day that wasn’t allotted for something. He did find it interesting, however, to find bedding folded neatly on the couch by the wall.

Nik didn’t comment on it.

He plopped down in the chair across from him, feeling like he somehow got yanked into the principal's office for getting caught smoking in the boy’s room in high school. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the chair, not really sure what else to do.

Cameron finished reading the paper he was on before removing his reading glasses and peered up at Nik. “Nothing has stopped you from speaking before,” Cameron said. “Don’t let it stop you now.”

Nik grimaced at the slight irritability in Cameron’s tone. “Why didn’t you say anything.”

Cameron scratched his face. “Not my place to say anything,” he said, after a moment of thought. “Your body, your choice. Tell me, don’t tell me. I didn’t and don’t care. As long as you were taken care of, I didn’t see why I should have commented on anything.”

“Maybe because you’re my alpha?” Nik retorted, annoyed.

“Again, not my place.” Cameron eyed him carefully. “Have you decided on what you’re going to do with the fetus?”

An excellent wordsmith, Cameron was. It irked him. “I don’t- I don’t know,” Nik said. “Why do you care when it’s clearly not yours.”

Cameron didn’t bother blinking, and just kept watching him. “Is that right?”

It’s your brother’s. “You know it is.”

“As far as I am concerned, it is mine.”

“I-”

“Yes,” Cameron said, leaning forward. “Unless you want to suggest otherwise, or do plan on aborting, I do not care. It is mine, it would have the same protections Eden has because that little cretin is mine as well.”

Nik’s face prickled and he curled back in the chair uncomfortably. “But- why?”

Cameron looked at him as if he were obtuse. “Because I care about you, idiot. If I did not, I would have gone ahead and let you be ripped to shreds when you decided to waltz your way into my house to spy on my family. If I did not, you would not be in my bed. You would not be in my house, and Lev sure as hell would not be alive and in my house, either. Neither of you would be here. Understand? I can live on my own, by myself without you or Lev or anyone decidingly annoying the hell out of me, but I choose to let you both drive me up the wall. So yes, as far as I am concerned the fetus is mine, because you are mine. Do you have a problem with that.”

“....no,” Nik said, in a small voice.

“Good,” Cameron said, with finality. “Then what are we going to do, because I’m sure Ash has hounded you with details about what you need to be doing. So you need to be deciding, and deciding soon, so I can deal with everything that needs to be done.”

Nik watched him blankly, not really sure what to say. “I cheated on you, though.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Nikolas, we have never established anything exclusive. We are also not in a relationship, meaning exclusivity is void to begin with. What you have done while Lev was dead, as far as I am concerned, does not negate anything between you and myself. However, if you decide to overdose again, especially in my house, I will personally take you to Death’s door so do not ever try to do something like that again.”

“You can’t just excuse everything you don’t like, Cameron!” Nik snapped. “I- everything I did was completely out of line.”

“I’m not,” Cameron said, not even raising his voice an octave. “I am telling you, do something like that again, and you won’t live to regret it. Lev’s death was clearly hard on you, and I was willing to work with it- as it was my choice. Just like it will be my choice to not deal with anything else like that again. I’m too busy and tired to deal with any more mental breakdowns that are going to give me another headache. Do I make myself clear.”

Nik sighed sharply. “Why don’t you hate me,” Nik said, voice breaking. “I’ve done nothing more than be a thorn in your side and you’re still being like that.’

“Hate is a useless emotion,” Cameron said, baldly. “And not one I’d waste on you when you’ve done nothing to warrant it. Just because you annoy me doesn’t mean I do not enjoy your company.”

Nik wrinkled his nose. “That sounds suspiciously like affection,” Nik muttered. Cameron only rolled his eyes. Nik was quiet, not sure how to feel about anything Cameron just said, when Cameron didn’t really do fancy speeches regarding anything. “I just…. I don’t want to mess this up. I can’t take any of it back.”

“Then don’t take it back,” Cameron said. “Live with it, like the rest of us, and move forward.”

“Well when you put it like that.”

“I sound reasonable?” Cameron said, dryly. “It’s almost like I have five hundred years on you and know what the hell I’m talking about.”

Nik sniffled and wiped at his face. “I think…”

His voice faltered.

Cameron watched him, expectantly. “You think what?”

“I think I want to keep it- the baby,” he said, in a tiny voice. “I just…”

“Then keep it and we’ll deal with it,” Cameron said. “However, there is the matter of making sure the child is recognized as legitimate.”

Nik blinked at him, confused. “Are you saying you want to get married? Because if so-”

“That is not what I’m saying,” Cameron said, looking vaguely repulsed with the idea.

“Oh. Well. I was going to say that was a shitty proposal.”

“Good thing it wasn’t a proposal, then.”

“Then what were you saying? Because I don’t want the kid to be a bastard. Less likelihood of one of your brethren eating it.”

“Well,” Cameron said. “You’re not wrong.”

That was comforting.

Cameron sighed and scratched his face. “What I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me, was that there is a way to legitimize the child, without marriage. However, that is through a mating bond. I am willing to provide one if it will protect the child.”

Nik stared at him, mouth slightly open. “You what.”

The annoyance returned to Cameorn’s face. “Nikolas, you know I detest repeating myself.”

“Yeah, well, I detest getting punched in the face with that kind of offer, Cameron, so excuse me if I’m a little surprised.”

“Do you or do you not accept.”

Nik fell silent. “Cameron?”

“Hm?”

I love you was on the tip of his tongue, but he knew it would make Cameron uncomfortable, and Nik cared enough about Cameron’s boundaries to not push it. So instead he said, “Thank you.”

The smallest crease appeared between Cameron’s brows. “For?”

“Seeing me.”

----

Lev tried not to let it bother him that Cameron had cleaned up his mess with the plates before he could get to it. And he tried not to let it bother him that Nik was being quiet, and even a little hesitant around him. The unspoken trauma that he knew Nik and Cameron both carried was something that they’d all avoided talking about in the time Lev knew them, but he didn’t like knowing he was the one to trigger Nik’s.

So Lev spent his time napping, as he had for the past month or so, hoping that sleep would magically cure the fact that he’d been dead not too long ago. Or at least make everything hurt a little less. It hadn’t helped anything. Telling them. And maybe that was because of how he’d told them about the pregnancy he’d hidden and lost. The bitter taste of anger still frightened him; it wasn’t natural for him. It felt wrong.

It took Lev a good long while to realize Cameron was leaning against the doorway. Lev tucked his arm under his cheek so he could peer at Cameron a bit more, and gave a quiet, “Hi. Everything okay?”

“Ash will be here in a little bit. You need to get out of bed.”

Lev blinked. Cameron was already gone, so Lev slid out of bed, pausing long enough to slide on one of Nik’s hoodies that he’d stolen several days ago. He figured that and the pair of boxers he’d slept in were good enough. He stuffed his hands in the pockets and shuffled after Cameron. At least he was allowed to nowadays. He nodded awkwardly at the sentries he passed, and found Cameron, as expected, in the kitchen.

Lev settled at the table, watching Cameron make lunch. “Do you want to talk about...” He hesitated, and just left it at that.

Cameron glanced up at him. “Start talking.”

Fair enough. “I never got the chance to decide if I was going to tell you,” Lev admitted quietly. “Before I died. That I was pregnant.”

Cameron was quiet for a minute. “Did you have it confirmed?”

Lev hesitated. “No,” he admitted. “But too many... symptoms lined up. I didn’t get the chance. I just panicked. I couldn’t think.”

“Sounds about right. It was your choice either way, about what to do about it. I’m sure I would have agreed with whatever you wanted.”

“I know,” Lev said. “Just from how you’re handling Nik’s pregnancy.” He watched Cameron for a few minutes, and then said, “He knew. When he killed me.”

Cameron looked his way, for a bit. Lev waited him out patiently, but in the end Cameron said, “That does sound like my brother.”

With a sigh, Lev looked down at the table. “There’s more,” he said eventually. “He said Eden is his.” He mulled over the memories, trying not to flinch at the fresh reminder of pain. “He... implied there might be more than just Eden. But he could have been- by that point I was very confused.”

Cameron gave a forceful sigh, and said, “That also sounds like my brother,” before going back to chopping vegetables.

Lev nodded slowly. “I wanted it,” He finally admitted. “I still do. And it kills me that- I lost it.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Lev replied. “It’s not- I just have to learn how to live with it. And... making sure Nik is healthy and as close to happy as we can get him is more important. But I thought- if it had to come out, you should know, I probably- I would have chosen to keep the baby.”

Cameron put down the knife. He rubbed his eyes, before saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”

“I left,” Lev replied. “And you said you wouldn’t make me stay. I made that choice. It was a terrible one, and I lost everything because of it. But it was mine.” He tapped his fingers on the table.

“Well.” Cameron said. “Do you want another one?”

Lev blinked. “Eventually,” he admitted after a moment. “But not now. I don’t want to- Nik comes first. He needs us more than I want a child. I waited almost a hundred and fifty years to find someone I felt safe enough to want a child with anyone. I can wait more, if that’s an open ended offer.”

“We’ll see.”

Lev had to smother the instinct to try to take it back, to ask if they could- but he’d meant it. Nik needed him. And Lev had Eden. Would have whatever child Nik did, if Nik decided to keep it. And besides. Things were... messy right now.

“Cameron?” Lev said quietly. “I’m... I’m sorry. And I know words won’t fix what I did. So I’ll do my best to show it. Everything, but especially what happened with Nik.”

“Yes,” Cameron said, icily. “I imagine you would feel sorry for telling a suicidal nineteen year old to stay dead.” Cameron went back to slicing vegetables with careful precision. “I’m sure Nik has forgiven you, though.”

“He’s not the only person I wronged, though,” Lev replied.

“Hm.”

Lev waited, but when nothing else was forthcoming, he nodded at nothing. Rather than continue digging, he settled his chin on his hands and watched Cameron cook in silence. When Cameron put a fancy salad in front of him, Lev mumbled a thank you and poked at it and blinked gratefully at Cameron when he handed Lev some ranch.

While Lev dug in with a little more enthusiasm, Cameron left, presumably to go get Nik. When Nik plopped down beside him, he looked a little sick. Lev patted his knee in comfortingly, but Nik just wrinkled his nose.

“What are we? Rabbits? I thought demons eat people. Why the fuck are we eating salads?”

“There’s chicken in the salad,” Lev offered helpfully. “It’s healthy to eat a vegetable or two, Nik.”

“Yeah, if you’re a rabbit.”

Lev bit his shoulder lightly. “Or in need of some vitamins.”

Nik shot him a dirty glare. “Fine,” he grumbled.

Lev hummed and took another bite.

Ash showed up while Cameronw as cleaning up, before Lev could go back to bed. Probably for the best. Ash hadn’t approved the amount of moping Lev had been doing lately. Lev waved at Ash, giving a small hello.

Ash lifted a brow. “Hi.”

Lev watched Ash for a moment, and then said, “How’s Lucas?”

Ash smiled. “An angel. Compared to Eden.”

“Do you know when we can bring her home?” Lev asked hesitantly. He missed his little monster, and he was quite sure she missed him too.

“I’m sure Bay would let you take her right now, if you wanted.”

Lev perked up a little, but then settled again. “We can’t until you say I’m healthy enough to handle it,” he said solemnly. “And I don’t want to rush it and get sick again, if you don't think I am.”

“Well. I think one final check up is in place. You seem to be keeping your food down. And, you know, not dying. Maybe then you can bring her home.”

Lev nodded, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Okay,” he said agreeably. “Can we start?”

“So it looks like you’re doing pretty good,” Ash confirmed an hour later. “All things considered anyway. But you shouldn’t strain yourself or push your luck. I don’t want you lifting more than thirty pounds until I give the okay.”

Lev nodded vigorously. “I understand,” he promised.

Ash stared him down. “If you lift more than that, I will know.” Coming from Ash, that was more a threat than a promise.

“I know,” Lev promised.

“Good,” Ash said. “Bay also wants to see you.”

If it hadn’t been that tone, Lev might not have paid attention. “See me?” Lev asked slowly. “Or... see me see me?”

“What do you think?”

Right. Lev swallowed. “When?” He finally asked.

“Well,” Ash said, “As soon as I gave the green light. And I just did.”

“O-oh.” Lev looked down at what he was wearing. Still in boxers and Nik’s hoodie. “I should get dressed, then,” he said. “And... ask Cameron to drive me?”

“Probably a good idea. I doubt you can drive.”

Lev shook his head, flushing. He stood, looking to Cameron, who had stuck around. “Is that okay?”

Cameron nodded. “Go get ready.”

Lev nodded. “I’ll get Nik?” he said, backing for the door.

“He’s by the pool.”

Lev scooted down the hall, trotting to the pool. Nik was on the edge of the pool, feet in the water. “Nik,” Lev said. “I gotta go see Bay,” he said, settling beside Nik.

Nik toed the water. “Hm?”

“I don't think this is the sort of talk I can wear just your hoodie and some jeans to,” he said. “You know more about clothes. Can you help me?”

Nik splashed the water a bit with his foot, and then stood. He pulled Lev towards the house again. “I think I got something you can wear.”

Lev nodded, tucking himself into Nik’s side. Nik pulled away only to go digging through Lev’s closet. While he waited, Lev settled on the bed. He pulled off Nik’s hoodie and folded it while he waited for Nik to pull things out.

Eventually Lev found himself dressed in dark jeans and a grey henley. Nik stuck him in a blazer and tried to put him in a pair of white sneakers.

“Aren’t my converse good enough?” Lev protested.

“Considering you came to me for fashion advice, what do you think?”

“That I’m going to be very uncomfortable,” Lev mumbled, reaching for the shoes Nik picked.

“Well it either these or dress shoes,” Nik said, even as Lev put them on. Lev stuck his tongue out at Nik in reply. Nik just lifted an eyebrow. Instead of saying anything, Lev kissed his cheek.

“Are you ready yet?” Cameron asked from the doorway.

Lev pulled away from Nik. “Do I look okay?”

“You look like a gay high school principal,” Nik said solemnly, just as Cameron said, “You look respectable.”

He felt ridiculous, but he supposed that would have to do. He fussed with the blazer and looked at Nik. “Anything else I need?”

Nik pursed his lips. “Spectacles?”

“I can see just fine, Nikolas.”

“I didn’t say you were blind,” Nik said. “I just said you needed glasses.”

Cameron looked annoyed, but Nik’s teasing had eased some of Lev’s anxiety. He took Nik’s hand, and said firmly, “No glasses,” before looking at Cameron. “I think I’m ready to go now?”

Cameron’s answer was to simply leave, so Lev tugged Nik along after. He opened the front seat door for Nik.

Nik made a face. “Is this because I’m pregnant?”

Lev kissed his nose. “It’s because I’m a romantic. And a thank you for helping me figure out what to wear.”

“Uh huh,” Nik said, sliding into his seat.

Lev decided to ignore that, and got in the backseat.

---

It surprised no one that Eden was throwing a fit when they got there. Lev could hear her before Silas even opened the door. The bigger angel stared down at him with wide eyes, like he didn’t really believe Lev was there, but Lev peered around him.

“Is Eden okay?” Lev blurted.

Silas blinked, stepping back automatically. “Uh, yeah. She just- I don’t even know, she’s just angry.”

“Hm,” Lev said, ducking around him. He didn’t have to go far to see Eden tottering down the hallway, screeching around a stuffed giraffe with big black tears rolling down her grey cheeks. She stopped when she saw him so abruptly she fell back on her butt, which really only made her wails get louder.

Lev was quick to scoop her up, murmuring comfort to her as he settled on the floor. When Eden tried to smack him, he caught her little hand easily, and despite that, she settled somewhat.

By the time Eden calmed, Lev realized that Bay and Nate were there. The moment Lev locked eyes with Bay, however, Bay said, “My office.”

Lev pulled himself to his feet and handed Eden off to Cameron, wiping a few tears off her face before following Bay back to his office.

After a moment of hesitation, Lev settled in a chair, trying not to fidget as he waited for Bay to start talking.

“I see that you’re not dead.”

Lev nodded. “I think it was a bit touch and go there for a little bit,” he admitted. After a second, he added, “Once they brought me back. I was definitely dead for a bit there.”

“Ash did seem irritable lately.”

Lev winced at that. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically.

Bay leaned back in his chair, watching him expectantly. “Ash is always like that,” he eventually said.

“Oh.” Lev considered that. “I didn’t see much of him before I died. I think the last time I saw him for any extended time was the night I left Remiel.” He thought for another second. “He seemed irritable then, too, now that I think about it.”

“Hm,” Bay said.

Lev fiddled with his sleeve.

“I’m assuming that Ash told you I wanted to speak to you now that you’re not in danger of dying again.”

After a second, Lev nodded. “He did,” he finally said.

“I’m assuming you know why.”

Lev stared at him for the longest moment. Eventually he said, trying very hard to not sound unsure, “It’s about Nik. Or- what I did while I was dead, with Nik- and- that.”

“It has nothing to do with Nik, and everything to do with the fact that you ignored and disobeyed a direct order from your king.”

“Oh,” Lev said in a small voice. “I- oh.”

“Oh, indeed.”

Lev swallowed. “I don’t have any excuses,” he finally said. “And I’m not going to waste your time trying to think of any.”

“Probably wise. You don’t need to dig yourself a deeper hole.”

Lev watched Bay for several awkward minutes. “I’m assuming there’s consequences,” he finally said.

“Correct.”

“Okay,” Lev said simply. Hadn’t he asked for exactly that, days ago when he’d shattered Cameron’s dishes?

“I’ll even let you choose.”

That got a blink from Lev. “Choose?”

“Well I was thinking nineteen years imprisonment, no contact with outside sources,” Bay said. “All your assets and lands would be seized, all titles forfeit. You would have nothing and be nothing.”

Nineteen years. One for every one that Nik had lived, Lev assumed. “And the other option?” he finally said.

“Exile with the same stipulations, except it’s for fifty-seven years,” Bay said levelly. “I’ll leave the choice to you. Choose now.”

For a few moments, Lev stared blankly, thoughts spinning too fast to catch. After a couple heartbeats, though, he forced himself to focus. “I can’t- I won't - put Eden though losing me again,” he said finally. “I’ll- I’ll go into exile. She needs me.”

“Fine. You’ll have twenty-four hours to say your goodbyes and leave the territory. If you’re still here when your twenty-four hours are up, you’ll spend the fifty-seven years in a cell.”

It took a few seconds to click. “O-oh. Okay.” He stood, and then hesitated. “Thank you. You didn’t have to give me any time at all.”

“I know,” Bay said. “My actions have consequences too.”

Lev backed out of the room, sidestepping sentries until he could lean against a wall and breathe. He wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision, but- he’d missed four months of Eden’s life. He’d missed her first steps. He didn’t want to miss anything else.

To his surprise, no one interrupted him. He had all the time and space he needed to gather himself before he went to find the others.

Nate was the first person he ran into. Guilt twisted Lev’s stomach up in knots, but he blurted out a quick and fierce, “I am so sorry,” before Nate could say anything at all.

Even Nate’s kindness was clearly strained. “You should be,” Nate replied. “You almost cost me my brother.”

“I know,” Lev said in a small voice. “I wasn’t- I was wrong. He’s so young. And I was selfish. But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for even a fraction of what I would have cost everyone if he’d stayed dead. He deserves that and so much more.”

Nate cocked his head, but didn’t say anything at all.

“I know Nik forgave me, but he shouldn’t have. I haven’t done anything to deserve it yet.��

“Hm. Of course he did. Nik will forgive anyone he loves.”

The fact that Nate, of all people, was being so abrupt with him hurt. Nate was the kindest person Lev had ever met. But Lev’s betrayal had cut deep, and he knew it. “I’ll take care of him,” Lev promised, forcing some spine in his tone. “I promise.”

“Good. Be sure that you do.”

Lev nodded, and slipped around him. He found them in the kitchen. Cameron was holding Eden, looking annoyed, and Nik was sitting at the counter, chewing anxiously on one of his bracelets. The first thing Nik said when he saw Lev was, “Are you okay?”

At some point Bay had joined the rest of them, and had Lucas in his arms. Lev glanced in his direction as he crossed the room to Nik’s side. Lev leaned into Nik, pressing his nose to Nik’s neck. “I’m okay,” he promised. He looked at Cameron anxiously. “I’m being exiled, for fifty-seven years.”

Cameron didn’t even blink. “I suppose that’s better than the alternative.”

Lev winced. “The other option was being in a cell for nineteen years.” He could feel Nik tensing underneath him.

“That’s bullshit,” Nik said loudly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Eden was getting restless, giving a small cry

“Yes, I did. Bay ordered me to leave you alone. I did not. Technically, disobeying my king is a form of treason,” Lev offered softly.

“Yeah, well, that’s because Bay’s an emotionally constipated dick,” Nik retorted.

Nate gave a small, “Nik, please. There are two infants in the house.”

Lev fisted his hand in Nik’s shirt, biting Nik’s shoulder in warning. “It’s okay,” he said as firmly as he could, before looking at Cam. “I can stay, can't I?” He stopped, and then asked, “I mean, can I stay?” He didn’t add that he didn't have anywhere to go; it would have felt manipulative.

“Of course you can stay, that’s your home,” Nik said sharply.

Lev pulled back, looking at him. “It’s not my house,” he said simply. “It’s why I’m asking Cameron.” He switched his gaze to Cameron. “After everything, you have every right to say no.”

Cameron bounced Eden lightly. “Nik wants you there.” That seemed to be the end of what Cameron wanted to say.

Lev touched Nik’s chest lightly. Before he could figure out what to say, Nik once again tensed underneath him. Lev followed his gaze to the man that stood in the doorway. He looked almost like Nate, with the fine boned features and longer hair. It took several seconds to recognize him as Az’ril.

Nik and Nate’s father.

Out of the corner of Lev’s eye he saw Nate looked at the ground. Nik, on the other hand, glared at his father. “What are you doing here?” Nik demanded hotly. “Scare any children lately?”

Az’ril leveled Nik a look. “Nikolas. I see you’re just as crass as ever.”

Nik pursed his lips, but before he could say anything, Bay said, “Az’ril that’s enough. You’re here to see me.” Bay handed Lucas to Nate. “We’ll take this to my office.”

As Az’ril left, Lev realized Nik was trembling. When he realized Cameron was approaching, he moved so Cameron could hand Eden over.

Lev swallowed. “Can you take me to see Reneé and Amara?” he asked Cameron.

“We should probably get going then. You can’t have long before your sentence goes into effect.”

He wasn’t wrong. Lev caressed Eden’s cheek lightly.

“Do you want to take Eden with you?” Nate offered. “It won’t take long to pack up her stuff.”

Lev looked to Cameron hopefully. “Can we?”

Cameron inclined his head. “Might as well.”

Lev smiled at Nate. “Can I help pack?”

---

Lev tried to stay engaged on the ride to Reneé’s apartment. She seemed happier, with her own place, andfreer, almost. Amara never showed up, even though Lev texted her to let her know what was going on. He tried not to be hurt by that, and spent a lot of time hugging Raziel. Cin lurked, but he ruffled Lev’s hair when he left, though he gave Eden a wide berth.

On the way home though, it was a struggle to keep his attention on Eden. Nik was quiet too, and since Cameron didn’t bother to put on music, Eden’s babbles were the only sounds in the car.

Cameron whisked Eden away, likely to feed her and put her to bed, so Lev wandered to his bedroom and flopped down, kicking off the stupid sneakers as he did. Nik settled beside him, watching him with an unreadable expression.

“You okay?” he finally asked.

Despite his best efforts, Lev’s eyes burned. “I’m fine,” he forced out.

Nik’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you didn’t lie to me.”

Lev considered that, and found himself closer to tears. He too a few breaths before reaching for Nik’s hand. Nik let him press it to his heart, feel the steady, if a bit fast, rhythm there. “I- I’m here. I’m home. And I’ll get to be here to raise Eden. I- I consider that just fine.” He licked his lips as he tried to explain why his chest felt so tight. It didn’t help to watch Nik’s lips thin, but Lev made himself go on. “But- even though I never considered angel territory a home- it was just where I lived. I wasn’t happy there, Nik. I didn’t feel- few enough liked me. But I still feel like I lost something today. I don’t regret choosing you and Eden over a shorter sentence. I don’t. I won’t, ever. But- I’m sad. I’m... grieving, and it feels- sounds- stupid to say that.”

“Well, yeah, I imagine being forcefully evicted from your home for the last hundred and forty years and all of your shit taken from you hurts a little bit. Even if you do romanticize it.”

Confusion was strong enough Lev’s tears never made it to his cheeks. “What do you mean romanticize it?”

“Saying that Eden and me are enough,” Nik said, sharply. “That because you love us, that's enough. It was still where you lived. It was where your family is, where you grew up. A hundred and forty years in one place and you’re perfectly ‘fine’ as you put it. That suffocating shithole is still my home, even if I was miserable there, because even if you hated it, it made you, you. So yeah. I’d say you were lying to me.”

Lev blinked. “This is why I forget how young you are,” he mumbled. “You make more sense than I ever did at nineteen.” Closing his eyes felt like a betrayal, so he just squeezed Nik’s fingers where they pressed to his chest. “I spoke the truth as I understood it,” he finally said. “But you’re not wrong. It’s... it’s a lot. And I don’t know how to process it yet. I don’t think I want to.”

Nik yanked his hand back. “Will you stop saying how young I am? I am perfectly aware of how old I am.” There was something hard in his face. “You don’t seem to care how young I am when you suck my dick.”

Now that one hurt. Because Nik was right. Lev watched him warily, unsure of how to respond just yet. It wasn’t like he could apologize. He knew how Nik flinched when someone said sorry around him. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he finally said. “I’m not good at- talking about the important things. I’m trying to be better, and it’s good that you call me out on it. Right now...” Lev trailed off, thinking hard. “Right now, I’m feeling a lot, and I don’t want to. Deflecting was automatic. I didn’t mean to lie.”

Nik watched him long enough Lev wanted to squirm. Eventually, he said, “Sure. We should probably go get Eden settled.”

Lev nodded. “Give me a few minutes?” He asked. “I’ll follow soon?”

“Okay,” Nik said, rolling off the bed.

Lev waited until it was quiet, tucking his arm under his cheek. “Darius?” he whispered. There was no answer, but Lev hadn’t expected one. “Did I make the right decision?” he asked anyway. A lump was forming, and he hated it. Hated how quick he was to cry. It made him feel weak. Childish. “Should I have come back at all? I keep making things worse.”

Something cold touched his cheek, and a shiver went down his spine. It felt like it was leeching all the feeble warmth he’d produced, especially as that cold traced down his throat.

Lev was out of the bed before he could think about it. Whatever he was supposed to understand from that didn’t matter. He took off his blazer and threw it on the bed before he followed Nik to the kitchen. He’d think about it later. Or maybe he wouldn’t.

---

Amara was exhausted by the time she made it to Biela’s palace. She’d flown the whole way there. Hadn’t even bothered to take her motorcycle. She made her way past the gates, trying to get her panting under control.

After searching the halls for a bit, Amara had herself a little more under control. Somewhere along the fifth corridor she wandered, haf hoping she didn’t find Biela, she ran into Dacia.

The plump, blonde angel sized her up with a knowing eye. “You look a little lost.” Despite those words, Dacia had a kindness to her. It reminded Amara a little of Nate, whose sheer goodness made Amara feel... a little guilty sometimes.

“I’m looking for Biela,” Amara admitted.

“I assumed. Would you like me to take you to her? Or would you like to stay a little lost for a while longer?”

Amara managed a small smile. “I have a bit of a time sensitive conversation,” she said. “As much as I’d like to be a little lost a while longer, I think I should... probably bite the bullet.”

This time Dacia looked a little grim. “Fair enough. She’s in her dance studio. I’ll take you to her.”

Amara looked down at the floor as she followed. She only looked up when they approached a pair of double doors Amara recognized. She waited until Dacia had stepped inside to poke her head in. Biela was not in her usual outfit, and she looked sweaty. If she was tired, it didn’t show.

The music Amara had barely noticed stopped the moment Biela looked her way. “What do you want?”

“Bay exiled Lev,” Amara said before she could stop herself.

“I’m aware,” Biela said. “I’m failing to see your point.”

“I made the poor choice of not keeping you informed once. I won’t do it again.” Amara fought to keep her voice steady. “I came to ask you to consider mercy. If you’ve not decided whether or not he can stay in your lands, I- he has nowhere else to go. I just- please.”

“Stop groveling. You sound pathetic.”

Amara straightened - stiffened.

Biela reached for a towel, patting her face. “Him not having anywhere else to go sounds like a poor choice on his part.”

“He made that choice because Eden needs him.”

“What is one child to thousands?” Biela asked. “That child is not your cousin’s. He has no right to her, or to be in my lands. He offers me nothing. I have to make the right decision for my people. Not an angel.”

“Then I don’t have any argument for you,” Amara replied quietly, her heart cracking just a little. “All I can do is ask for your mercy.”

Biela gave her a little smile. It wasn’t one bit friendly.

“Biela,” Dacia said softly.

Biela flicked Dacia a sharp look. “Don’t call me that.”

This time Dacia smiled, the expression small, and maybe a little fond. “Bea,” she corrected herself.

This time Biela looked a bit satisfied. “What will you give me? How much is your cousin’s life worth to you?”

“Anything,” Amara breathed. “I did all of this so he could be happy. I’ll do anything to give him that chance again.”

Biela lifted her chin ever so slightly. “Fine. I’ll restrict him to Cameron’s house. You will not see him again.” Dacia made a small noise. Biela looked a little annoyed, but added, “Until I feel otherwise. Any contact and he’s back in the ground.”

Amara swallowed the lump in her throat. “Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you, Majesty” she added, more clearly, flicking a look to Dacia to let her know she was included in Amara’s feverish gratitude.

“Anything else you came to beg me for?” Biela asked, drawing Amara’s attention back to her.

“If there’s anything I can do to- to at least- ease the effects of what I did- even if it costs me my life- I’ll do it,” Amara said, even though she knew it was stupid.

“Do not tempt me,” Biela said, turning away in a dismissal even before she clipped out a curt, “Leave.”

Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis @idreamonpaper

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #wip boost #angels and demons #ch: cameron #ch: nik #ch: eden #ch: ash #ch: bay #ch: nate #cameron and nik and lev

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iwillhaveamoonbase · 5 years ago

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The Long Game Ch 1

Instead of striking a few months later, the Moonshadow assassins guild decides to play the long game. Rayla will pose as a human and kill Harrow and Ezran when the time is right all while gaining valuable information. One problem: Rayla falls in love with Callum and doesn't think Ezran deserves to die for a crime he doesn't he even know was committed.

Now, Rayla has a choice: tell the truth and risk losing Callum but fixing the divide between Katolis and Xadia or staying quiet and having a chance at a happy life with Callum, Ezran and Harrow but losing the best chance they have at peace and probably never seeing her home or family again.

---------------------------------------

The assassins guild had been talking for days about whether or not to go in and kill King Harrow and Prince Ezran now or wait a few more months or even a year. Queen Zubeia was in distress and the call for revenge was ringing loud and clear throughout Xadia. First, eight years ago, the humans had attacked them unprovoked and murdered one of their citizens for their perverted dark magic. Now, they killed the Dragon King and the Dragon Prince's egg. Xadia could not let this go. The only question was: when?

Runaan looked at Rayla out of the corner of his eye. He knew she wanted to prove herself worthy. He personally found it difficult to believe that his friends, Tiadrin and Lain, his parents, had abandoned their post. In the back of his mind, it didn't make sense. They knew better. But, a Skywing elf who had also been part of the Dragon Guard had admitted they had all fled when the humans killed the Dragon King. There was nothing anyone could do to stop the Silvergrove Ghosting the pair now. But, Rayla could do the right thing in their stead and proclaimed herself ready to do whatever it took to right their wrongs.

"It's better to go now. Who knows how long the Dragon Queen has?" Runaan turned his attention back to the conversation his guild mates were having. A cacophony of sounds as they tried to plan the best course of action that would bring them all back home and, hopefully, stop these humans from killing anymore Xadians.

"The humans will know it's us right away."

"So what?! We want them to know what they did was wrong!"

"True, but, if we wait, maybe we can cause doubt. They'll destroy themselves trying to figure it out."

"We have never not admitted we've taken life before. Why should we do it now? We take life but we don't take it lightly."

"Yes, but this is our chance to not only get the humans fighting each other, but to also get the Moon Nexus back!" There was silence for a few moments. Every Moonshadow el,f even a thousand years after the humans were forced out of Xadia, still felt the string of losing contact with the Moon Nexus. It went deeper than pride; it was an irreplaceable piece of their heritage, culture, and magic that was forever lost to them because the humans refused to accept their lot in the universe as non-magic users. "All I'm saying is, kill two Moon Phoenixes with one arrow. Sow dissent AND fulfill the contract."

Runaan turned to Rayla. Her young face was stony as she took in what everyone was saying. Young... He looked her up and down. She was strong, but those who didn't know better would see her as a slip of a thing. Slowly, a plan formed in Runaan's mind. At any other time, he would have been horrified by the idea. Rayla was his daughter as far as he was concerned. His apprentice, his greatest joy besides Ethari. Ethari would never forgive him. But... Runaan stood up, getting the attention of everyone in the room. "I have an idea. It involves my protegee, Rayla, and getting honor back for her parents as well as stirring doubt in the Pentarchy."

"What do you propose, Runaan?" The guild master had a steeling expression as he stroked his beard.

Runaan smirked. "We play the long game."

-------------------------------

"Absolutely not!" Ethari roared. "We already lost Tiadrin and Lain. We aren't losing Rayla!"

"She's going to be fine, Ethari." Runaan breathed through his nose. As he expected, Ethari was displeased.

"She's too kind, Runaan! Too loving. Her heart isn't made for a regular mission and you want her to do this?! Send Bandlr or someone else."

"She's the only one her age whose properly trained. She's faster than all of us and quick on her feet."

"Then send yourself or a group."

"They won't suspect a young girl travelling on her own. The longer she does nothing, the more likely they will be to think everything is fine."

"And if they catch her after she succeeds? They'll kill her! They'll kill our daughter and you're sending her to the slaughter."

"She'll die with honor and rise above what her parents have done." Even to Runan's ears he sounded so detached. He winced.

"You...you can't be serious. Runaan, she's our child. Not by blood, but we raised her. She's only 15. She'll be 16 when her training's over. You can't...you can't do this." Ethari's voice was shaking as he started to breath a little harsher. "She's just a child."

"Rayla's already agreed, Ethari. There's nothing either or us can do now."

"You didn't even ask me first!" Ethari breathed deeply for a few moments before his face became stone. "So, that's it, then? You're just going to say good-bye to our little girl?"

Runaan ran a hand through his white hair. "My love, it's not that simple. Queen Zubeia ordered the two hits. We have to do the job."

"Then take a squad like tradition says and do it! Do not send our Rayla into the human lands alone. What if the spell fails and she's found out? What if she slips up? We have no idea when the time is even right. We may never see her again! Do you want that? Because I don't! Rayla shouldn't be made to go because of her parents' actions."

"No one is making me do anything," Rayla piped up from the chair. Runaan had completely forgotten she was in the room and, judging by his slight jump, so had Ethari. "Yes, Runaan offered my name for the plan before asking me, but I agreed. I had a fair chance to give someone else the job and I said I would do it. I'm going, Ethari."

"Rayla, please, don't do this."

"Why do you lack faith in me?"

Ethari shook his head. "It's so much more than that. You're a child, Rayla. Don't throw away your chance for a future when tradition holds you shouldn't even be considering this."

"What future? If Xadia doesn't do anything, the humans will eventually believe they can do whatever they want. What if they start killing elves or more dragons for dark magic? We're already at war. We have to act!"

Ethari looked between the two of them. "You know what? Both of you, do whatever you want."

Runaan started reaching for his husband. "Ethari-"

"I'm going to my sister's, Runaan. I need time to process sending my child, OUR child, over the border to be alone and carrying out a mission ALONE for who knows how long." Ethari slammed the door behind him; silence reigning for a few minutes.

"Well," Rayla looked up at Runaan, "he took that better than we expected."

Runaan sighed. "He's right, Rayla. Think long and hard about this. You have been given 24 hours before you're officially assigned this task. We are asking you to give up an untold amount of time. You might never come back."

Rayla looked directly into his eyes. "I know, but I don't have a choice. Someone has to do this and it should be me. If my parents had just stayed, maybe, the Dragon Prince would still be alive. Besides, they'll probably believe me easier than someone like Bandlr whose already all muscle at 14. I'm young and fast, but I'm slight enough. No one will believe I'm a threat if I say I come from a farming village."

"You're right. I'm so proud of you, Rayla. I'm sure you'll be able to come back home one day."

It took Ethari two weeks to come around, a new blade for Rayla in hand and a flower for when she went on her mission. He still barely talked to Runaan and, if Runaan was being honest, he couldn't blame him. Rayla was going to be spending a few months with Lujanne at the Moon Nexus followed by a bit of time in the village by the Cursed Caldera before making her way to the capital. There was no room for error and she was going to have to learn how to act human fast.

The flower Ethari made was set into the fountain, the whole of Silvergrove watching. Runaan knew he and everyone else would be keeping an eye on it. Rayla had to succeed.

-----------------------

6 months later

-----------------------

Callum groaned as Soren sent him to the ground again. "C'mon, step-prince. Wasn't your mom the strongest general is Katolis? You shouldn't be this weak after this much training."

Callum glared a bit at his...friend?...tormentor? Callum wasn't sure who Soren was to him anymore besides the big brother of his crush. How Claudia and Soren came from the same parents was beyond Callum. Though, Viren did give Claudia more attention because of her magic. More love, probably. "My mom was a lance specialist. Why don't we try that?"

"Princes use swords; even step-princes."

Callum looked down at his feet. "The king can use a lance."

"ARGH! It's just not how it's done, OK? Sword first, than lance. Now, on your hands and knees and give me a hundred push-ups." Callum groaned and was about to follow through when Caludia raced through the courtyard to stand in front of Soren. She started miming a bit, a big smile on her face. "What is it, Clauds? Use your words."

She squealed. "There's a girl whose just come from the border. She asked to see the king and she looks about my age, maybe a year younger."

Soren and Callum's brows furrowed. "Why does she want to see the king?"

"Don't know, but she's pretty cute. She might be your type, Sor-bear."

"Uh-huh. You don't know my type, Claudia. You've proven that how many times now?"

Callum didn't bother staying for what was bound to be an argument between the two. Instead,he hurried to the throne room, running to Ezran and Bait with a handful of jelly tarts with them. "What do you think she wants?" Ezran asked.

"No idea. Whatever it is, I'm sure the king will hear her out."

"You know, you can call him 'Dad.' I really think he'd like that, Callum."

"He's the king, Ezran, and I'm just the step-prince."

"But, he raised you and I know he loves you."

Callum closed his eyes briefly. "It's complicated, Ez."

Ezran pouted a bit, but dropped it. When they finally made it to the throne room, they stood to Harrow's right while Opeli and Viren were standing to his left. Before them was a pale girl with hair a few shades lighter than Soren's and light blue eyes. She stood perhaps an inch taller than Callum and was dressed in plain robes that marked her as a member of the farming class.

"Your Majesty," her voice was clear and projected throughout the room. She took a sweeping curtsy, though almost lost her balance doing so. She raised her eyes when Harrow told her to rise, slowly coming back up to face the room. "I come from a town on the border. We were attacked not too long ago." She looked down, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I'm all that's left of my village. Please, I need help. I have no family."

"Who attacked your home?" Viren looked straight at her, eyebrow raised.

"I believe it was elves." Viren and Harrow shared a look before turning back to the girl. "They kept saying something about dragons when they came but everything happened so fast it's all a blur."

Viren cleared his throat. "And why did you come all the way here? Surely there were others who could look after you."

The girl looked distressed, twisting her hands together a bit. Callum couldn't help but notice just how pretty she was, with a Cupid's bow on her top lip, high cheekbones, and large eyes. But, there was something slightly off, something that in the back of his mind was saying it wasn't quite right. Maybe she was too pretty? "To be honest, I tried a few times but they either didn't want me because of the possibility of the elves coming after me. I just hoped that I could be safe here."

Harrow nodded. "Of course, dear child. You are welcome to stay as long as you like. And, I am so sorry for the trials you have faced before coming here today."

Viren sent a glared at Harrow. "Harrow-"

"Not now, Viren. We have to look after our citizens. Always." Harrow turned back to face her. "What's your name, child?"

She looked at the five in the room, a soft smile on her face. "Rayla. My name is Rayla."

#rayllum fanfic #rayllum #the dragon prince #tdp #the long game #whelp #the first chapter is here #despite me saying I was going to wait #I don't keep my word apparently #please enjoy

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hysterialevi · 4 years ago

Text

Eitr | Chapter 5

Fanfic summary: In an alternate universe where the Raven Clan is wiped out, Sigurd ends up being rescued by the son of a Saxon ealdorman, and is tasked with being the boy’s new bodyguard. Upon meeting the boy’s father however, Sigurd soon realizes that the ealdorman is responsible for his clan’s destruction, and secretly plans for revenge while hiding behind the guise of a Norse pagan turned Christian.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male OC

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

TWO DAYS LATER

ELMENHAM, EAST ANGLIA

Eivor gripped the weathered bow in his hand and silently gazed towards the bleak horizon, watching as the boat drifted away with the water’s embrace.

She was gone.

She was actually gone.

After what felt like an eternity of suffering, and a heartbeat of saying goodbyes, the gods had finally granted Randvi the peace she deserved, and carried her off into the afterlife.

Apart from Eivor, she had been the only survivor of the attack on Ravensthorpe. Everyone else in the village had either been killed or gone missing, and now, she too joined their brothers and sisters, leaving Eivor all alone in this world.

It felt like a nightmare, he thought, to watch all of this unfold. Within the span of a few short days, his entire life had fallen apart, and everyone he loved had departed from this realm.

Sigurd, Valka, Hytham, Petra, Tarben, Finnr... Randvi. All dead. All ghosts. All nothing more than names that now echoed relentlessly in Eivor’s head, and haunted him in his dreams.

He was the only one left.

Much like all those winters ago when Kjotve cut his father down in cold blood, he found himself standing among the ashes once again, forsaken by the very same gods who saved his life.

“Randvi...” he whispered, his voice trembling softly, “...forgive me. I thought I could save you. I thought that... perhaps there was still a chance. You were always so strong and vigilant that I just refused to believe you would die. But I was wrong. Just like everyone else in our clan, I’ve failed you. I failed to keep my promises, and I failed to protect you when you needed me most. You may be off to Helheim’s gates for now, but it is me who should be in your stead.”

Eivor slipped an arrow out from his quiver and held it to a nearby torch, setting the tip aflame.

“Goodbye, old friend. May the gods guide you across the Gjallarbrú, and may you find the honor that was robbed of you in death.”

Pulling the arrow away from the torch, Eivor drew it back and steadily took aim, letting it loose as it went soaring through the air.

The arrow pierced the boat with a solid thud, and within the blink of an eye, the entirety of the structure had been set ablaze, embracing Randvi in a bed of fire.

Eivor felt numb at this point, after bidding farewell to so many of his friends. Over the past few days, he had watched pretty much everyone he knew be taken away by the grace of the gods -- and with one more soul going to join their ranks, the lone viking wasn’t sure if he could endure it anymore.

There was just so much pain. So much fear. Even though he was confident that he could find allies who would be willing to lend him aid, he had no idea where he would direct them for now.

After all, Eivor didn’t know who was behind the attack on Ravensthorpe. No one had come forth and taken responsibility for the assault, and considering the fact that he was still recovering from his wounds, he doubted he’d be able to scour the remains of his old village without being killed.

He had been trapped behind a dead end... and there was nothing left for him to turn back to.

“Eivor,” a man suddenly said, breaking the silence. “There you are.”

Eivor turned away from the water, looking to see who had approached him.

“...Oswald,” he greeted softly. “Forgive me. I did not mean to disappear so abruptly, but... I wished to be alone for this.”

“No need to apologize, my friend,” The Saxon said. “I know things have been immensely difficult for you lately. I only hoped to check up on you.”

Oswald stepped next to Eivor, linking his hands behind his back as he watched Randvi’s boat float away.

“How are your wounds? Are you feeling any better?”

Eivor glanced down at the bandages on his arms. “Physically speaking, yes.”

Oswald raised a brow. “...And otherwise?”

The viking paused, staring blankly into the rippling water. “I... I don’t know, Oswald. I need answers. I need to know who did this. I need to know why they did this. I... I--”

“--You need closure.” The young king replied.

Eivor nodded slowly, his gaze now lost in the water’s depths. “...Yes. Closure. And justice. For all those who have fallen. The only issue is I’ve no idea where to begin.”

“Well, you can’t go after your enemies without an army. You’ll have to rebuild, regain your strength, prepare yourself to lead. You’ve already forged alliances in Ledecestrescire, Grantebridgescire, Lunden -- and with myself, of course -- but that may not be enough. If you wish to search England for the men who destroyed your clan, you’ll need to pave the way with even more alliances.”

“But how am I supposed to do that when I’m just one man? I no longer have any warriors to fight in my name, nor any resources to spare.”

Oswald remained optimistic. “No... but you do have me.”

Eivor wasn’t so sure about the idea. “But you’re a king now, Oswald. All of England knows your name, and they know of your tolerance for Danes. If you lend your aid to me -- a Norse -- you could risk open war with other kingdoms.”

The young man persisted with his offer. “We’re already at war, Eivor. The moment those people kicked down your door, they became my enemies just as well as they became yours. But... you’re right. I cannot act so blatantly without fear of causing more division. We’ll have to do this discreetly. Away from prying eyes. At least until we know exactly what’s going on.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

Oswald rubbed his chin in thought, quickly putting together a solution.

“...Gjuki.”

Eivor shrugged in confusion. “Gjuki? Who’s that?”

“A friend of Valdis,” he explained. “He used to fight for Rued’s clan, but quickly turned rogue after your assault on Burgh Castle. He’s a skilled warrior, and he knows how to be covert. I could send him to Ravensthorpe if you like. I’m confident he’d be able to find something.”

The other man considered the option. “Tell me about Gjuki, first. Do you trust him? How are you so certain he won’t turn on us like he did Rued?”

“Because he hated Rued. I do not know the reason behind his hatred, but Gjuki was never truly loyal to that man. He only fought alongside him because he had nowhere else to go. But when you launched your assault on the castle, you gave him the chance to break free.”

“And you think he’s the best suited for this task?”

Oswald nodded. “I do. Gjuki’s been in England for quite a few years now. He knows his way around the country, and he knows how to avoid attention. I’m sure he’d be able to find out who attacked your clan -- or at least give us an idea on who to investigate.”

Eivor decided to go along with the plan for now. “...Very well, Oswald. I trust you. But if it’s alright, I’d like to speak with Gjuki myself first. I wish to see him face-to-face.”

“Of course. I understand. You should be able to find him in the longhouse. Just tell him I sent you, and he’ll listen to whatever concerns you may have.”

The viking gave the Saxon and appreciative look. “Thank you, my friend. Truly. Your support means the world to me. Were it not for your help, I would’ve died along with Randvi. I owe you everything.

Oswald frowned sympathetically upon hearing her name. “I’m sorry about Randvi, Eivor. I’m afraid I didn’t get the chance to know her that well, but it’s a shame that she had to meet her maker like this. If it’s any consolation, I’m certain she was grateful to have you by her side in the end.”

Eivor let out a sigh, walking away from the shoreline. “I hope so. She was the only one I could escort into the afterlife. Everyone else in my clan just... fell out of this world before I had a chance to say goodbye. Even Sigurd died without my company.”

Oswald placed a hand on Eivor’s shoulder, attempting to comfort the man. “Do not torment yourself with these thoughts, Eivor. You will only end up feeding your grief. What happened at Ravensthorpe was beyond your control, and I’m sure Sigurd knew that just as well as you do. The most you can do for your brother now is to bring justice to those responsible. Learn their names, study their motives, and then strike them where it will cripple them most. Your battle is not finished yet, my friend, and neither are you.”

The Norse took the young man’s words to heart, giving him a firm gaze. “I understand. Thank you, Oswald. I will heed your advice and speak with Gjuki. I only hope he is more fortunate than I was.”

Oswald removed his hand from Eivor’s shoulder, allowing the viking to take his leave.

“Go in peace, my friend. And may God watch over you in the battles to come.”

~~~~~~~~~~

MEANWHILE

FORANGAL CASTLE, THE CHAPEL

“As I’ve explained to you already, bishop,” Edric said impatiently, “Father’s decision is final. Sigurd is to be our personal bodyguard from now on, and if you have an issue with that, you can talk with him about it yourself.”

Hundwerth crossed his arms. “I simply fail to see how we could benefit from having a Dane in our midst, my lord. We know next to nothing about Sigurd’s past, nor where he comes from, and yet, your father has seen fit to grant him a position next to his own children! It’s preposterous! You ask me, the only place Sigurd belongs is in the dungeon.”

“Well, it’s a good thing no one asked you, then. Do not forget, Hundwerth. You are here to offer our people religious guidance. Nothing more, nothing less. If my father wishes to hear you political opinions, he will summon you. Until that happens though, I suggest you stick to your holy books and save the bleating for your priests. I’ve enough of a headache as it is.”

The bishop scoffed. “Such disrespect from a so-called lord. Perhaps you would do well to spend more time here, Edric. I could give you some of my ‘religious guidance’ as you put it.”

The young man’s tone remained firm. “I’ll pass. I fear I have far more important matters to attend to, starting with this bloody war. You want to preach to me during a siege, be my guest.”

“Your insolence is--!”

Pausing mid-sentence, Hundwerth cut himself off when he heard the sound of the chapel’s doors being pushed open with a creak, leading both him and Edric to bring their attention to the entrance.

There, in the distance, he saw a tall redheaded man approaching them from the opposite side as the sunlight draped over his figure, turning him into a silhouette.

He was dressed in what appeared to be Saxon-made armor, and yet, the man himself was clearly of Northern origins. His skin was marked with many outlandish tattoos, and if Hundwerth recalled correctly, he believed this was the same man he saw in Linette’s infirmary the other day.

“Sigurd.” Edric greeted with a hint of relief in his voice. “There you are. And with your head still attached to your shoulders, too. I’ll take that as a sign that Hundwerth has yet to harp you.”

The bishop scowled in annoyance, eyeing the viking with distrust. “...Ah. The very subject of our conversation. I see you’ve made a full recovery, Lone Wolf.”

Sigurd threw a glare at Hundwerth. “Is there a problem, Saxon?”

“Well, if you ignore the fact that there’s a pagan standing in this house of God, no. None at all. I hope you’ve come to do penance, Dane.”

The man’s expression was flat. “I’ve come to do no such thing. I am only here to fulfill my duties to Lord Edric. Besides, listening to you speak is penance enough.”

Edric chuckled at that. “That’s one thing we can agree on.”

Hundwerth let out a huff. “As I was saying before, Edric, your insolence will be the end of you. You may laugh all you want now, but bear in mind, the Lord is watching. And he is not pleased.”

“I don’t blame him, considering who he’s using as his mouthpiece.”

The bishop shook his head in defeat and decided to drop the conversation for now, storming out of the chapel whilst the other two stayed behind. He was already thin on patience due to the recent events that had transpired in Forangal over the past two days, but to face such defiance from one of the lords themselves brought him to a level of irritation he didn’t even know existed.

“Well...” Edric said as he watched Hundwerth take his leave, “that’s one way to end an argument.”

Sigurd took note of the young man’s tone. “You don’t seem to be fond of the bishop.”

“I don’t think anyone is. He is a man of God, mind you, but I fear he can be... forceful in how he spreads his faith sometimes. There’s also the fact that he’s been furious ever since my father decided to spare you. Let’s just say that I’m glad you showed up when you did.”

Sigurd leaned against one of the pillars. “It’s my job, isn’t it? To protect you from troublesome situations?”

Edric grinned. “I suppose it is.”

Falling into a brief silence, the two of them took a moment to enjoy some peace and quiet as life carried on outside the chapel, causing the muffled sounds of distant conversation to seep in through the doors.

It was a calm day, Edric thought, considering all the conflicts that had risen due to Sigurd’s presence. Even though many of the people in Forangal were in disagreement with Aegenwulf’s decision to keep the Norse around, few of them had yet to actually protest against it. Unlike Bishop Hundwerth.

Edric supposed they simply didn’t want to cause more tension. There were enough fires being sparked in Wedenscire with all the hostile clans threatening their walls, and considering how Gareth’s death had affected the ealdorman as of late, it was probably best if no one pushed him over the edge.

Still, Edric understood the concerns that some people had. Sigurd was a stranger to their lands, after all, and he did not think it entirely unreasonable for them to be wary.

Though, he couldn’t help but wonder how the viking himself felt about all this. Despite his compliance, Edric could tell that Sigurd wasn’t happy. He often carried a sense of despondency to his broody temperament, and even now, the man’s gaze seemed to sag with fatigue.

He was probably still trying to process whatever happened to him before he arrived in Wedenscire. Edric had yet to learn the details of how Sigurd ended up in such an injured state, but seeing as how bad his wounds were when they first found him, he assumed it had been a terrible ordeal.

Who knew how much trauma the man was dealing with right now? Within the span of a few days, he had been torn away from his home and thrown into the middle of a Saxon fortress, surrounded by hostile guards. He had next to no friends in a shire such as this, and with all the people calling for his head, it was no wonder that Sigurd seemed to be exhausted.

Perhaps... it was time for Edric to ease up on the man. Sigurd was to be his protector from now on, and he did not wish to be enemies with him.

“Hey, Sigurd,” he said gently. “Are you well? You seem... preoccupied.”

The viking was clearly surprised by Edric’s concern, but kept to himself regardless. “It is nothing to concern yourself with, my lord.”

“I know you’re technically our servant now, but that doesn’t mean you’re not important. Your well-being is just as crucial as ours.”

“Is it? And what brought about this sudden change of heart, may I ask?”

Edric bowed his head in shame, letting out a deep sigh. “...If you must know, our healer Linette had a hand in it. She gave me quite a talking-to when she heard that I dragged you all the way to the armory without giving you a chance to rest. Also when I made you carry your armor to the smithy. Edlynne and Joseph weren’t too happy about it either.”

Sigurd gave the young man a humorous glance. “Careful, my lord. Keep on like this, and you might actually apologize.”

Edric laughed. “Ha! Well, in this case, it would be deserved. You’ve been to Hell and back these past few days, and I... I have not welcomed you as a true Christian should. You were in a time of need, and I was willing to push you away. I’m sorry.”

The viking didn’t seem too bothered. “You were only trying to protect your people. I understand. If I’m being honest, I can’t say I would’ve been entirely different if it was you who washed up on my shore. But regardless, I accept your apology.”

The young lord beamed at him. “It gladdens my heart to hear it.”

An idea popped up in Edric’s head, causing him to give Sigurd a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Hey, what say you to a quick hunt?”

Sigurd tilted his head at him. “You want to go hunting? Now?”

“Why not? The skies are clear, and the day is still young. I’ve some time to spare before returning to my duties. Besides, I must admit, I am curious to see how a Norseman hunts his prey.”

Sigurd pushed himself off the pillar, eager to take on the challenge. “Very well, my lord. Just don’t cry when I steal your glory.”

Edric smiled in amusement. “Confident, are we? Good. Do not be fooled though, Sigurd, I’ve a few tricks of my own.”

The young man began making his way out of the chapel, beckoning Sigurd to follow.

“Come. We’ll stop by my chambers and collect some gear there. I have a spare bow that you can use, and I imagine a dog or two would be useful on the hunt as well. Have you ever hunted boar before?”

Sigurd nodded, recalling all the times he spent hunting with Eivor.

“Yes, actually. My brother and I often went hunting as a way to pass the time when we were children.”

Edric raised a brow. “You have a brother?”

The viking’s heart sank with grief, and his light-hearted mood vanished immediately. “Had. He’s dead now.”

The Saxon’s expression dimmed with empathy. “Ah. I’m sorry to hear that. It is a pain I know all too well myself.”

Sigurd held his head high. “Indeed. I miss my brother every day, but I find solace in knowing that he is now in Valhalla. He died fighting as a warrior, and I have no doubt that the Valkyries have escorted him to the corpse hall.”

Edric placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Then may he find peace there.”

He stepped back from Sigurd and turned on his heel, leading him away from the altar. “Come on. This way. Let us put our troubles aside for the moment, and take the day to enjoy some fresh air. This war isn’t going away anytime soon, and neither are we.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A FEW MINUTES LATER

ELMENHAM, THE LONGHOUSE

Strolling past the guards that stood beside the archway, Eivor invited himself into the cozy atmosphere of the longhouse as he scanned the area for Oswald’s friend, eager to speak with him.

At the moment, there were only a few groups of Saxons occupying the space inside and chatting happily amongst themselves, seemingly oblivious to the troubles of the war. They smiled, they drank, they laughed, they flyted -- all of them appeared to be trapped in their own little utopia.

It was like the world around them didn’t even exist. As far as they were concerned, now was a time for celebration. Their king had just gotten married to a Dane after a long struggle of fighting for power, and now, East Anglia was allied with some of the strongest warriors in the country thanks to the efforts of Oswald himself.

Everything was going well for the kingdom. Their troubles had been lifted for just a moment in this relentless storm, and with a newfound sense of unity settling into the land, it felt like they could finally breathe. Eivor, on the other hand, felt as though the world had stopped turning.

Walking up to the empty throne, the lone viking spotted Valdis leaning against a nearby wall as she casually observed the people in the longhouse, quietly keeping to herself.

She seemed to be doing well, all things considered. Despite the issues they had with Rued’s attacks and Oswald’s supposed “death,” the woman appeared to be happy in her marriage, and carried a certain sense of contentment that certainly wasn’t there before.

However, in spite of the joy he felt from seeing her again, Eivor couldn’t help but notice that she was alone. This “Gjuki” figure was nowhere to be found, and judging by the absence of any other Danes in the longhouse, the man assumed he probably missed him.

Damn it. He’d have to search elsewhere.

“Eivor!” Valdis greeted happily, smiling at him. “It brings me great relief to see you again. I was worried sick when Randvi first brought you to us. I feared the Valkyries might have taken you already. How do you feel?”

Eivor didn’t share the woman’s enthusiasm. “Well, I’m alive, so I can hardly complain. But I fear Randvi wasn’t quite as fortunate.”

Valdis’ expression instantly sunk. “What do you mean?”

“...She’s dead.” He said plainly. “Randvi succumbed to her wounds yestereve, just as the sun began to fell. I only sent her off to Helheim this morning. Oswald was there too.”

The woman shut her eyes in sorrow, letting out a deep sigh. “...Oh, Eivor. I’m so sorry. The amount of lives that have been lost ever since Ravensthorpe... it’s a tragedy.”

“Indeed. Our völva, Valka, always said that the Nornir weave our lives with a certain plan in mind, but I struggle to understand why they would curse us with such an unforgiving fate. All this death, all this chaos... surely, there must be a reason behind it. It cannot all be in vain.”

“I wish I could say.” Valdis replied. “Unfortunately, the sad truth is that war can be as cruel as it is unnecessary. There will be times when tragedy strikes without reason, and there will be questions that have no answers. However, I do not believe this is the case with your situation.”

Eivor quirked a brow. “Oh? And why is that?”

“Well, look at this way. When everyone else in your clan was killed, you managed to survive. In spite of everything this war has thrown at you, you remain the only man left standing. Surely, the gods must have granted you a second chance for a reason. They see a purpose within you, and perhaps that is why you are here now.”

“...Perhaps. It is all still so confusing, but... your words bring me comfort.”

Eivor decided to change the subject, pushing away his dark thoughts for the moment.

“Anyway, enough about me. I’m looking for somebody. A man named Gjuki. Do you know where I could find him?”

“Gjuki Haldorsson? Yes, he is just outside the longhouse. He shouldn’t be that far away from here, but if you can’t see him, just follow the sound of his lute.”

That caught Eivor’s interest. “Lute? Is he a bard? I was under the impression that he was a warrior.”

Valdis chuckled. “He is, but he is also many other things. You’ll see for yourself once you find him.”

“Fair enough. Thank you, Valdis. I’ll go look for him now.”

“Stay safe, Eivor. And may the gods favor you.”

Taking his leave from the longhouse, Eivor left Valdis to her own devices and stepped back out into the crisp morning breeze, keeping his ears sharp for any music that might’ve been playing.

At first, he didn’t spot anyone of interest -- most of the people outside were Saxons civilians and ordinary guards -- but upon taking a closer look, he suddenly noticed a peculiar man sitting underneath a tree, lute in hand.

He was definitely not what Eivor expected, to put it simply. When Oswald first told him of Gjuki, he had envisioned a large, burly warrior similar to the ones he often saw in Fornburg or other Dane settlements, but this man... was clearly something else.

Gjuki had a rather lean figure that was broadened at the shoulders thanks to the fur cape he adorned, and instead of having a full beard hanging from his chin, he only had a light layer of stubble.

His hair was long, straight, and as black as the void. A multitude of braids had been woven into the thick strands surrounding his face, and poking out from underneath his sleeves, Eivor could see a number of tattoos decorating his arms.

As for the man’s face, he didn’t appear to be that old. He looked to be roughly around the same age as Eivor himself, and had a pair of icy-blue eyes that sat in his skull like two glass orbs.

Both of his sockets had been smeared with some traditional war paint, and due to the dark color of its pigment, his gaze only seemed to stand out more, creating a stark contrast between his eyes and his skin.

He was a distinct looking man, to say the least. And terrifying, to say the most.

“Gjuki Haldorsson?” Eivor called out.

The man came to a halt upon hearing his name and held his fingers between the lute’s strings, glancing up from the instrument to see who had come to visit him.

“Well, well,” he said in surprise, “look who it is. The Wolf-Kissed. I see you’ve finally returned from your grave. What brings you to me?”

Eivor took a seat across from the other man, studying his mannerisms.

“I come on behalf of our king. He says that you might be able to help me with a problem I have.”

Gjuki rested the lute on one of his knees, casually crossing his legs. “Well, that depends. What sort of problem are you dealing with?”

“Before I get into that,” Eivor paused, “there are some things I’d like to ask you first.”

The other man quickly caught onto his tone. “Ah, a man of caution. I suppose there’s a reason you’ve survived for so long. Very well, if that’s what it takes to earn your trust. Ask away.”

Eivor started with the most obvious question. “Oswalds tells me you once fought for Rued’s clan. Is that true?”

Gjuki scoffed in amusement. “Fought for’ isn’t exactly how I would put it. I was sold to Rued many years ago as a slave after being captured by a Norse known as Kjotve.”

The viking glowered at the name. “Kjotve the Cruel? I’m familiar with him. He caused many issues for me in the past as well -- not excluding trying to sell me into slavery -- but have no fear. He’s nothing more than food for the ravens now. I saw to it myself.”

“He’s dead?” Gjuki asked, unable to hide the smirk that spread across his face. “Oh, how gratifying that must’ve been, to bury your axe in his chest. I would’ve loved to hear the scream that broke free from his lips when the gods swept him away from Midgard. You killed a snake, Eivor, and the world will forever benefit from it.”

“Well, as relieved as I am to have Kjotve out of this world, I fear there are many other snakes I must purge before I can find peace.”

The bard set the lute down by his feet. “And who would they be?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know. I’m looking for the men who attacked my village, but I am at a loss on where to start.”

Gjuki nodded in understanding. “And you need my help to find them. I see.”

“Do you think you can do it?”

The man thought for a moment. “Perhaps, but I’m going to need a lead. Do you have any idea where I should begin looking? Any particular shires, or names, or kingdoms?”

Eivor shook his head. “I’m afraid not. All I know is that they were Saxons, but they weren’t bandits. They ambushed us in the middle of the night, and fought under no banner.”

Gjuki furrowed his brow in confusion. “No banner? Interesting...”

“Why do you say that?”

“Saxons typically fly their colors proudly on the battlefield. It may surprise you, but they are just as proud of their tenacity as we are. It is odd to me that the Saxons who attacked you would hide their sigil. Unless, of course, they were trying to conceal themselves. Which... in that case, tells me they knew they shouldn’t have been there.”

Eivor was beginning to follow his thoughts. “You’re saying that this was meant to be a secret?”

Gjuki held up an index finger. “Precisely. Whoever ambushed your clan is clearly not in a position where they would be able to attack you out in the open. Not without causing conflict elsewhere, that is. Maybe they are from a shire that supports you, or at odds with one of your allies themselves. Whatever the case may be, they knew this assault would not go over well if other people found out.”

The viking shrugged. “So, what’s your plan?”

The bard stood up from his seat, picking up his lute from the ground. “I will travel to Ravensthorpe and see what other clues I can find. Assuming they haven’t cleaned up the carnage already, I’d like to take a look at the Saxons’ bodies; see if they hold any information. In the meantime, I’ll also start spreading some rumors about the attack. It may not seem like much, but if we pay attention to how other shires react, we may be able to find our target.”

Eivor nodded in approval. “I like that idea. I shall go with you. I know my way around Ravensthorpe. I can aid you in your search.”

Gjuki disagreed. “No. You stay here. You must recover if you are to fight against your enemies, and besides, Oswald would have my head if I let you walk out of Elmenham in this condition.”

The Norse chuckled, holding his hands up in defeat. “Very well. You make a fair point.”

“Is there anything else you’d like me to know before I leave?” Gjuki asked. “I do not know for certain when I’ll return, and I’d rather not risk sending a letter to you. Never know who might grab it along the way.”

Eivor pondered the question for a moment. He did have one other request in mind, but was hesitant to say it aloud.

“Well... y-yes. But it is a lot to ask.”

Gjuki urged him on. “Please, speak your mind, Eivor.”

The viking’s gaze fell to the ground in sorrow. “...If it’s possible, could you find out what happened to my brother, Sigurd? The last time I saw him, he had been shot with an arrow and thrown into the river. I never had the chance to retrieve his body. If he’s still around there somewhere, could you bring him back?”

The bard’s tone softened with empathy. “Of course. I make no promises that I’ll be able to find him, but I give you my word that I will try. If Sigurd remains in Ravensthorpe, we will ensure you have a body to bury.”

Eivor gave him an appreciative look. “Thank you, Gjuki. I realize this is a daunting task, but I honestly don’t know what else I can do.”

“Have no fear,” he reassured. “Your assault on Burgh Castle is the only reason I got the chance to escape from Rued and reclaim my honor. The way I see it, I owe you this.”

Gjuki waved a quick goodbye, sauntering away from the tree’s protective shade.

“I will inform you of my progress as soon as I can. Until then, wait here. It is likely that whoever conducted this assault has learned of your survival, and I have no doubts that they will try to finish what they started.”

#assassin's creed valhalla #ac valhalla #sigurd styrbjornson #eivor wolfkissed #eivor wolfsmal #male oc #female oc #sigurd x male oc #ac valhalla fanfic #eitr

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