#The Old Tumblr Tv trap

[this--is-serious-business]

LET HIM OUT

[wileycap]

The Stupidest Things In Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender: A List

a.k.a.

a whiny rant from someone who has dedicated far too many of their already limited number of braincells to atla i know it's just a tv show but come on this is what tumblr is for let me whine

For your consideration, with many spoilers:

5. Katara Being Smug After Kicking Jet's Ass

In the original, Katara is betrayed by Jet. You can feel the raw emotion in the words "I trusted you! You're sick, and I trusted you!" immediately followed by her concern for the innocent people Jet has seemingly murdered. It's not a triumph, it's a wound, and the next time she sees Jet, her first reaction is "kill on sight".

This is great. It's heartwrenching, it's humanizing, and Katara using violence against Jet isn't a victory for her. It's just pain.

In the live action, Katara very mildly chastises Jet for trying to kill innocent people, which is... an interesting characterization for her, to say the least. Jet then tries to grab her, immediately followed by Katara throwing him and freezing him. She then just tells him goodbye. Her tone is placid, almost unaffected.

And then Jet says "Look at the power you have. That's because of me!"

Katara: "That wasn't you. That was me."

And then she strides off with a small smile, and that's the end of that. Sokka and Aang are not present. It's an incredibly hokey moment that's meant to emulate the style of feminine empowerment, but it has none of the substance. It glosses over any human feelings of hurt and betrayal. All that the it ends up doing is removing a story beat for Katara.

4. The Badgermoles

"They're blind! They sense feelings and react to them! Anger, fear... but mostly love."

Katara and Sokka hold hands in a cave and it makes the badgermole stop attacking them.

The blind badgermoles. Navigate by... love.

Yeah.

Do I need to say anything? Can we all see (pun intended) how stupid that is?

3. Bumi Makes Aang Choose Between Killing Him Or Letting Himself Die To Make The Dumbest Point Imaginable

Remember Bumi? Aang's old friend, a fun, kooky king? Well, here he's an actual fucking psychopath.

He collapses part of the roof onto Aang, and Aang holds it up with airbending. Another part of the roof collapses on Bumi, and Bumi just... shrugs his shoulders, fully intending to die. Aang holds that one up as well, and Bumi, instead of helping, makes the dumbest fucking point I've ever heard about "making tough choices", and urges Aang to let the boulder crush him.

Again. Bumi, the fun, wise king, wants Aang to kill him.

The situation is defused by Katara freezing a little strip on the floor so that Sokka can very slowly slide on it and tackle Bumi to safety. I can not emphasize how slow his slide is. Running would have been faster. Bumi has time to look at him and say "Huh?" as Sokka slowly slides across the floor. Oh, yeah, they were led onto the scene by the love-sensing badgermoles.

Then it's Aang's turn to be dumb. He says "you CAN rely on your friends" and hands Bumi a friendship rock. Bumi is pacified for now, but there is no telling when his next Saw trap will activate.

This made me actually feel bad. I just. I kept expecting for it to turn into a secret lesson, like Bumi in the original show, but it never did. Bumi's just a spiteful psychopath who is easily swayed by the gifting of rocks.

2. Koh The Face-Stealer Has A Backstory Now

Why? Mother of Faces? What? No.

No.

Iroh Is Intimidated By Zhao, And Then He Kills Zhao

Ah, Live Action Iroh. The most ineffectual man on the planet.

So, Zhao has the Moon Koi in a bag, and is ready to stab it with his special stabbing implement. Iroh is standing right behind him. RIGHT BEHIND HIM. Iroh has been there the whole time. Iroh does not want Zhao to kill the fish.

Iroh says: "Whatever you do to that spirit, I'll unleash on you tenfold!"

Remember how in the original, where that was like a big, shocking moment that he got angry? And how Zhao immediately let go of the fish, only to then have his anger get the best of him? How Zhao attacked the spirit by surprise?

Well, here it's a little different. For one, like I already said, Iroh doesn't come in suddenly, he sort of gets bullied into looking for the spirit by Zhao. Then he looks for the spirit, and after Zhao finds it, then he decides that he really has a problem with killing the spirit. He did protest before, but then he kind of just caved and helped anyways.

He threatens Zhao, and Zhao just... brushes him off. "Spare me your empty threats." Then the firebenders next to Iroh sort of... glower at him menacingly, and Iroh looks worried.

Zhao offers Iroh a place at his side once he becomes Fire Lord, which, uh? Okay. Fine. I actually don't have a problem with Zhao wanting to be Fire Lord, that seems to be entirely on brand for him, but everything he does to get to that goal is just stupid.

Aang arrives, they talk, Aang says "I don't matter", and then Iroh, who has sidled past the Glowering Firebenders Who Do Nothing Else, shoots the fish out of Zhao's hands. And then, as Zhao is on the ground, reaching for the fish with his special stabbing implement, Iroh forgets that he can shoot fire out of his hands, and lets Zhao stab the fish.

AND THEN Iroh, who literally stood by two different times and let Zhao kill the fish, decides to kick everyone's ass. And the Glowering Firebenders do nothing. One of them just stands in the background. Iroh doesn't even attack that guy.

In the original, Iroh immediately leaps into action after Zhao kills the spirit by means of surprise attack, takes out Zhao's guards in about a second, and Zhao escapes.

Here, he doesn't do anything at first except help Zhao find the spirit he doesn't want to see killed, then back down, then do something, then back down again, then do something again, then forget that he can do anything, and then he does something again.

It's just... so dumb. (So dumb it's brilliant!) No! It's just dumb!

And then, fifteen minutes later, after Zuko has dueled Zhao, Iroh kills him. Iroh just barbecues him by striking him from behind. Gee, Iroh, if you were willing to do that, why not just do it when Zhao was holding the fish?

Dishonorable mentions:

The fact that all of the actors fit their characters so well and have some great moments, but the show just doesn't support their performances at all. I feel so bad for all of them, being robbed of a chance to shine by some truly awful writing, editing and direction

The Ocean Spirit making Godzilla noises

June flirting with Iroh (didn't they say that they wanted to remove iffy stuff from the original? Well, that whole thing was iffy in the original. Why didn't you cut it entirely?)

Zuko doing the jazz hands to charge an attack

All the clunky and unnecessary exposition (for example: after Aang turns into the Ocean Spirit, Yue immediately turns to Sokka and narrates that Aang has turned into the Ocean Spirit, for almost 30 seconds)

The fact that Aang can only communicate with each Avatar at their shrines

The Ice Moon

The Cabbage Man literally turning to shout his line to the heavens while fire rages around him

The Secret Tunnel song being shoehorned in for no reason

Iroh's entire backstory being shoehorned in for no reason

Ozai being a caring dad actually

Zuko being shocked that Ozai prefers Azula

Gran Gran's speech

The fact that they showed Gyatso being killed by Sozin (literally nobody needed a big action scene, because that's what it was, predicated entirely on the genocide of the Air Nomads)

And finally, the fact that Sokka and Yue's reason for going to the Spirit Oasis is that Momo was fatally injured.

[surelysilly]

SuperPhantom Week 2024, go!

What: A week to celebrate the bestest crossover — Danny Phantom / Supernatural (TV 2005)! Fanfic, fanart, playlists/music, other multimedia or crafts, whatever you want, are all welcome! There are themed prompts for each day, so try to include it and more or as little as you want!

When: September 7th, 2024 - September 13th, 2024

Day 1: Sept. 7th - Divine / Impiety Day 2: Sept. 8th - Strange Day 3: Sept. 9th - Family / Outsider Day 4: Sept. 10th - Song (Fic) Day 5: Sept. 11th - Right / Left Day 6: Sept. 12th - Tools of the Trade Day 7: Sept. 13th - Free

*I will catch up on what I've missed in the following week to the best of my ability, but can't guarantee any swiftness. Submissions may show up the day after their prompt as I queue them up.

Sentence prompt for the week:

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

How: Post your works on Tumblr with the tags #superphantomweek2024 and #superphantom. I’ll reblog them here! Submissions to the week can also be added to this Ao3 Collection!

Just want everyone to have fun with this old little crossover here, so be free and be merry!!! <3

Below are extra details and information for each day.

Honorable mentions for extra brownie points:

Focus on side characters from either show! Last (few) season(s) nonsense Where do ghosts fit in the war between heaven and hell?

Day 1: Sept. 7th - Divine / Impiety

Do you think God lives in Heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He's created Here on Earth? - Spy Kids 2

Divine: Angelic Presence, Angels, Grace, Holy, God(s), Wings, Pie, Fudge, Resurrection, Prophets

Impiety: Deals, Crossroads, Demon, Betrayal, Curse, Desecration, King of Hell, Abomination, Half-human (Nephilim, Cambion), Halfas (Half Angel & Half Ghost)

Day 2: Sept. 8th - Strange

There's something wrong with those boys... Something off about that house...

Too Many Eyes, Charade, Fleeting Glimpses, Veil, Death Defying, Midwestern Gothic, Limbo/Purgatory, Horror, Biblically Accurate, Ghosts, Weird Age Club

Day 3: Sept. 9th - Family / Outsider

This is about the blood of the covenant and the water of the womb, or neither or.

Family: Children, Childhood, Siblings, Old Friend, Blood, Fluff, Teamwork, Bonds

Outsider: Accidental Meeting, Secret, Outside POV, Found Footage, Ghost Facers, Wrongfully Accused, Strange Bedfellows, Incorrect Assumptions

Day 4: Sept. 10th - Song (Fic)

We've got a long road ahead of us... can't just sit in silence! Or can we...?

Mixtape, CD burn, Radio, Voice, Enochian, Ghost Speak, Silence, Lullaby

Day 5: Sept. 11th - Right / Left

The usual canon divergence, even canon compliance... or something even further removed!

Right: Time Travel, Pre-canon, The End AU, It's a Terrible Life AU

Left: Roleswap, Fantasy AU, Sci-fi, Multi-Crossover

Day 6: Sept. 12th - Tools of the Trade

These vary by profession. What are yours?

Overshadowing, Shot gun, Blade, Salt Circle, Trap, Ghost Portal, Ectoplasm, Impala, Feton AV, Cold Iron, Disguise, Fire, Possession, Wail, Monster of the Week, Summoning

Day 7: Sept. 13th - (Team) Free (Will)

New beginnings. Final endings. Let's do it all over again, it's only just getting started. Or is it?

Friday the 13th, Unlucky, Carry On My Wayward Son, Thrill, whatever you want!

*Take what you like, leave what you don't; these are all just extra suggestions for each day to help get the brain wrinkling up! Send any questions my way~

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Thank you so much for all the work you put into this archive. I've spent so many hours reading fics lately and enjoying every second thanks to you all!

I wonder if you have any recs for human!au fics where Crowley and Azi meet either online, as penpals or some other way that's anonymous, but maybe they don't know each other in real life or they don't know the other is their online friend/penpal. I really like the build-up towards meeting each other and things like that! I hope it's not too confusing. Any suggestions with those themes would be wonderful ❤️

We have loads of fics along these lines on our #social media tag, a specific pen pals post here, and you'll find similar kinds of fics our our #mistaken identity tag. I've got a bunch now, but I'm sure these'll all be on the tags mentioned, because there are only so many (unfortunately; I too love this trope!)...

Texts from an Unknown Number by GaryOldman (T)

The human wrong number AU I have been craving. Trapped at a boring Halloween party, Aziraphale tries to get in touch with Gabriel but his text ends up in the wrong place.

Press L in the Chat (for Love) by Phoenix_Soar (E)

Bickering fan-content creators Aziraphale and Crowley only have three things in common — they are both avid fans of a new revolutionary TV series about pirates, they are popular for their fantastic fanfiction and fanart… and they are members of the same discord server. Neither of them likes the other, but across the chaotic virtual world of a discord chatroom, who knows what can happen when these two unlikely fans are paired up for an exciting collaboration? Us. We know ;) Discord Server AU — a collaboration between Phoenix_Soar (fic) and Djapchan (multivoice podfic organization & editing) for Pod-Together 2022

A Tricky Situation (Entirely of his own making) by sixbynine (E)

"Crowley stood up and went to leave, he turned back just as he opened the door and took a deep breath. “You know I was quite excited to come here and work with you. I enjoyed reading your work. I disagree with a lot of it, but your writing style is lovely and every so often you’d let that privileged rich white boy mask drop and it was fantastic. I was hoping to meet that Professor Fell, but I’m beginning to think maybe he doesn’t exist and I’m going to be stuck with a rude stuck up arsehole for the next five years.” He slammed the door behind him before Aziraphale could respond. Aziraphale gaped, open mouthed, at the shut door." -- Aziraphale is teaching at Kings College London. He's been teaching at King College London for a long time now thank you very much and he does not take kindly to new Professors being sprung on him suddenly. Especially when this one has quite publically made his opinon of Aziraphale's work known. Luckily Aziraphale has an understanding penpal...

Readings From the Books of Ashtoreth by Quefish (E)

Vicar Aziraphale Bookman has a comfortable life. He lives in and serves the small village community of Tadfield. He enjoys contributing to local businesses, taking walks, and of course reading. His 'guilty pleasure', which gives him no guilt and all pleasure, is a series of novels by one AJ Ashtoreth. But what happens when he reaches out with an innocent bit of fanmail?

The Anon Before Christmas by foolishlovers (E)

When Crowley’s friend, blogging buddy and business partner Anathema announces her annual Secret Santa Exchange on Tumblr, she is very adamant Crowley should join this year. The old-fashioned (but admittedly compassionate) man he gets assigned to send anonymous messages to every day until Christmas sounds awfully similar to the fussy bookseller that his friends adore, yet Crowley tries to avoid at all costs. But surely his friends would have mentioned if Aziraphale had taken an interest in the Bad Omens fandom as well… right? Or: An Enemies to Lovers Secret Santa Tumblr AU.

I Knew I Loved You by AppleSeeds (E)

In September 1999, when his family gets connected to the internet, prospective Marine Biology student Crowley discovers an online forum where he can actually talk to people who share his passion for saving the whales. He begins corresponding with a kind stranger he knows only as Ocean_Angel, and is incredibly excited when the opportunity arises to meet this mysterious person in real life. As their friendship develops, Crowley shares things with Angel that he can't talk about with anyone else, and Angel's insights help him to explore and embrace his own identity. As Crowley works towards finding a place in this world where he feels like he really belongs, he realises that a big part of the answer to that question might actually be right in front of him. What if where he belongs is with Angel?

Big Name Feelings by ghostrat (E)

FANDOM AU! • Crowley is a BNF fic writer, and Aziraphale is a lurking artist who might be just a little parasocially in love with him. How they ever became friends is beyond him, but here they are: One month out from Prophet Con, and Crowley is asking him to be his boyfriend. Just for the weekend, of course.

- Mod D

[chaos0pikachu]

why did nobody tell me Kiseki Dear to Me went so hard??

Lemme break down the first 2 mins of episode one where a twink & a twunk walk out of prison and you know it's prison b/c the twinks hair needed some conditioner STAT and then rolls up this boss sports car out pops this gang looking dude with That Undercut Haircut and Thee Eyebrows that anyone who's watched History Trapped or Kinnposche knows what I'm talking about, tosses the Twink over his shoulder like a feral murder kitten and then we're whooshing to a flashback where 17 yr old twunk goes to pick up a quarter like any well respecting poor does (get that money!) when some feral but ridiculous hot dude covered in blood from the tumblr sonnets grabs his arm and Twunk is just channeling the Mariah Carey.I Don't Know Her.gif and Bloody Hot Dude is like here baby take my knife oop now you're implicated in my murder!! and has to take home this bloodied jean jacket 90s levi's commercial man to his house like being broke ain't hard enough

and then!! and then the episode ends with one of the hottest men in gang tv slitting a dude's throat while deep throating a lollipop I am ENTHRALLED

[bl-bracket]

Anyways I was going to make a post about the process of picking bracket topics and whatnot and was trying to come up with some examples of types of topics that would or wouldn't work and for whatever reason I thought of the concept of a "best murderer bracket" and I can't stop thinking about it lmao

it's just like such a funny concept? the idea of fictional murderers battling it out, especially ones from bls (which like I don't think is most people who are not super familiar with the genre as having a lot of characters who have killed people) is just funny in like an absurd way. like abstracting yourself from tumblr and tournament blogs, the idea of telling someone else that there's a tournament going for fictional murderers from east asian mlm tv shows, a genre that for several years was primarily shows about high school and uni students.

anyways that devolved into thinking about it more seriously, and then deciding a more practical way of doing it would to make some kind of directory of bl murderers. which would then lead to a lot of interesting statistical analysis, like characters with highest on screen kill counts, which countries have the highest proportion of fictional killers, etc. you can then make a separate category for characters with implied kills that aren't explicitly shown on screen or vague. and you could track how the number increases over time, which I assume exponentially goes up as more bls are exploring darker and more serious genres.

anyways back to the country stats, I started thinking about what the breakdown would look like so here's my guess based on zero research and just my general knowledge of shows

China. While having very few bls (censored or otherwise), they have a very unfair advantage and that is genre conventions. The 3 biggest Chinese bls I can think of are: The Untamed, Word of Honor, and Guardian. With The Untamed and Word of Honor, the conventions of xianxia and wuxia genres means that there are a lot of characters and almost all of them have killed before (usually nameless canon fodder but still). And then with Guardian, it's a supernatural detective mystery show with murder plots in it and a lot of characters, which again leads to a pretty high kill count. So even only counting these 3 shows, China will probably have the most killers in bl, or at the very least most kills done.

Thailand. It's a numbers game on this one. There's just so many Thai bls and an increasing number of like detective or mafia ones. A show like Kinnporsche has a lot of killers and deaths. Then there's other shows that include a few murderers (but less than Kinnporsche) like The Sign, Manner of Death, 4 Minutes, 3 Will Be Free, Never Let Me Go (Palm did shoot a couple guys dead elt's nto forget), Dead Friend Forever, etc. However the numbers also hurt Thailand in terms of proportions, since there's a lot more Thai bls that don't have murder, so it actually might be 3rd.

Japan. You're not getting much murder from your Cherry Magics and Old Fashion Cupcakes, which is what a significant portion of bl fan's primary exposure to Japanese bl is, but let's not forget that there's a lot of dark Japanese bls where murder is definitely on the table. Now I don't actually have a good gauge of what the numbers on this is, cause I haven't really delved that deep into this corner of the bl market, so I can't make a good estimation but I bet there's more than I'm aware of.

Taiwan. They've got a couple of mafia shows like HIStory 3: Trapped and Kiseki: Dear to Me, both of which have some implied and explicit murder (though less then you would expect if we're honest). That'll give them a few kills and they also have a relatively smaller pool of shows to pull from, meaning percentage wise it's a bit higher.

South Korea. Ok I am far from an expert of bls from South Korea, but unless there's like obscure short films I'm not aware of, the only drama I can think of from here with kills is Long Time No See? or I guess The Director Who Buys Me Dinner has like 1.5 murders? anyways Korea also has a not insignificant amount of bls to their name so proportionally it will be quite low.

The Philippines. Out of all the countries on this list, I am least familiar with the bls from here, but from what I've gathered during my routine mdl searches, basically all of them seem to be murder-free (unless of course there's some shocking plot twists in them)

anyways I'll probably never do this project just cause it would require a lot of time and collaborative effort and I've got a lot irl going on right now (hence why the submission period for most whipped is so long lol) and also have some other projects I'm already planning on doing so I don't really have time to do it. but I wanted to tell y'all about my thoughts on the matter.

also sorry if this is the weirdest thing I've ever posted. kinda had a major stress breakdown today but then resolved it relatively quickly cause I realized I could just reschedule the life altering appointment that was causing the breakdown lmao so I'm in a strange frame of mind lol

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Shadowpeach: "ok so, we all know from that one tumblr post that yaoi is two blokes doing fuckall and yuri is when there’s themes and shit? well these two (shadowpeach) have So Much Themes. they were super close friends for years and years (both immortal) before their epic breakup scene (wukong was trapped under a mountain and macaque refused to free him) (he wasn’t entirely in the wrong but that’s another story) (also wukong killed macaque there was that, that did happen) (its complicated)

from the Moment we see these two, all we know about them is that they’re the most divorced ever. as time goes on, we see the complexities in their relationship, and they introduce a lot of the overarching themes and motifs of the show (hero and warrior pairs, peaches being a symbol of their relationship, etc). also they’re both girls to me

tmnt theme song voice toxic codependent yuri!"

"theyre So So gay divorced and have an incredibly complicated and toxic relationship. also according to that one tumblr post yaoi is when theres two blokes doing fuckall and yuri is when theres themes and shit, and these two have So So So many themes and shit. theyve got motifs out the wazoo. peaches are a motif of their relationship and in the very end of the s4 finale wukong hands macaque a half-melted peach flavored (and shaped) popsicle. this is yuri to me"

"They used to be semi-immortal bff's, but then they fell apart and literally one of them died(bc of the other), then he revived, then got semi-consumed by revenge™ and tried to kill each other for a while, but they are cool now and they gave the sweetest little smiles when they finally talked- *fangirls* ok ok, look at it this way: it's a royalty au but it's canon."

"Well, they are toxic doomed yuri vibes, in my.most opinion. But also their designs are pretty gender I think.. mostly wukongs imo. And ik eyelashes aren't inherently feminine but theyre both some of the few(if not only) male characters in the show with visible eyelashes. Also if it counts, out of the relationships that I've seen compared to theirs, most are canonical sapphic relationships from other cartoons (catradora and bubbline notably)"

For Arthur and Linus: "THEY ARE SOO YURI!! OLD MAN YURI!!! LIKE!!! JUST LOOK AT THEM!!! THEYRE SO ADORABLE"

"A warm, loving caretaker of magical children who are orphans falls in love with the fat neurotic caseworker and changes his life for the better."

For Thoschei: "i. why great

They are each other's narrative foils. They are archenemies. They were childhood friends. They might not have been married, but they are divorced. They call themselves best enemies. They are the "i can fix them"/"i can make them worse" duo. They've proposed to each other (to rule/travel across the universe together), but each declined the offer from the other. They've kissed. They've killed each other. They've killed for each other (the first to do so was the Doctor who is the protagonist and the hero, but this fact was revealed in an audio drama, not in the TV show). The universe's too small for both of them. "The cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about" is a real quote from one of the episodes from the 1980s. They are war criminals. The Master commits atrocities to attract the Doctor's attention and admits it. They are not able to get rid of each other for good, nor they really want to. One of the showrunners literally spent the BBC's money to make his E2L I Can't Decide fanvid for them and make it a part of an episode.

ii. why guy:

They'd been in male bodies for more than 40 years…

iii. why yuri

…until one of them regenerated into a woman. After some time, the other did so too. Sadly, they haven't interacted in their female bodies on screen, but the fandom makes do with fan content.

in conclusion: this is The guy yuri if i've ever seen one"

[extralively]

Movie Night

Gojo Satoru/Original Female Character NSFW (it's just smut) 4,936 words Also posted on AO3 Summary: Satoru has Yura over for a little movie night, but what he has in mind is something completely different. So Yura decides to teach him to have a little patience as she... 'enjoys the movie'.

While I'm editing the next chapter of the main fic (coming soon!), lemme just post this oneshot here on tumblr. If you've been keeping up with the series on AO3, you might have already read this one!

Anyway, this is just pure filth and can be read as standalone. Enjoy!

Whenever Satoru asked Yura to watch a movie with him nowadays, it was an inevitability that it would eventually lead to sex. When it would happen was always up in the air—as in, if they were going to actually get through the entire movie or not—but in general, whenever they decided to hang out at each other’s apartments alone, sex was a foregone conclusion.

Of course, Yura sometimes still wanted to watch the damn movie.

...But she also had to admit that sometimes, she too had something else in mind.

“So, what’s the movie this time?” Yura asked, flopping down onto Satoru’s comfy leather couch.

Satoru soon joined her after he grabbed the TV’s remote, sitting next to her. “It’s a romcom,” he said, stretching out his long legs to rest his feet on the coffee table. “It came out recently.”

Yura shifted on her side, resting her head on the back cushion as she let her legs curl on top of his, her body halfway on his lap. “...It’s not porn again this time, is it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Satoru let out a huff. “That wasn’t porn! That was... an erotic movie. It’s a Japanese classic!”

“I mean...” Yura tilted her head. “The movie is like ninety percent very explicit sex—until the woman cuts the guy’s dick off at the end.”

“Well...” Satoru sighed. “That was only after the guy was already dead...”

Yura snorted.

Satoru eventually started the movie up, and their attention shifted to his ridiculously large TV screen. This time, it really seemed to be a mostly light-hearted movie, and Yura quickly relaxed into the couch cushions, letting her head rest against his shoulder as she curled further into his side.

As the main characters of the story started being introduced, Yura’s hand came up to hold onto the crook of Satoru’s elbow, the one trapped between her body and his—which meant that his other arm was free to caress her leg as he pleased. And Yura sighed in approval, enjoying his touch on her bare skin; she had already changed into what could pass off as comfortable pajamas: an old pair of shorts and an oversized sweater—she’d figured she would not be leaving Satoru’s apartment again until tomorrow so she might as well make herself comfortable, right? And Satoru had also had the same idea, having already changed out of his street clothes and into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt—both now perfectly cozy until all these clothes were inevitably chucked off somewhere later in the night.

Familiar story beats were happening on screen—nothing too innovative, bordering on cliché. Yura tried to focus on the movie, she really did, but it wasn’t particularly gripping... and Satoru’s hand on her leg was more than a little distracting. And that was before his other hand moved despite its limited mobility between the two of them, coming up to gently caress her thigh; that, she was more than certain, was completely deliberate. The bastard definitely knew what he was doing here.

“Satoru, it’s been like ten minutes since the start of the movie,” she told him, amused.

“Hmm?” Satoru replied, tilting his head towards her ever so slightly. “I’m not doing anything, I’m just... watching the movie.”

The smile on his face clearly contradicted his words. Sly bastard.

Satoru turned his head to press his lips to the top of her head. “Not doing anything at all...” He pressed another kiss there. “Wouldn’t want to miss this amazing movie.” And another kiss. “I think it’s good enough to win an Oscar.”

Yura was trying to bite back a grin, as she didn’t want to give in too easily. By now, she was fairly sure Satoru had picked any random movie just so he could have the excuse of a movie night, when in reality, what he wanted was sex. She had no idea why he went the roundabout way sometimes, since he wasn’t exactly shy about just asking for it directly—so the least he could do was play along a little bit more, couldn’t he?

“The movie does seem pretty promising,” Yura said, still trying (and failing) to keep a smile off her face. “It would be a shame if we missed it.”

Her hand slid up from his arm to his chest, and she started drawing random imaginary figures on his shirt.

“Such a shame,” Satoru agreed, his hand wrapping around her thigh to hitch her leg higher on his lap.

Yura let her hand trail downward on his torso, reaching the waistband of his sweatpants and sliding her fingers over it. She could feel Satoru’s stomach contracting briefly at the pressure, and she couldn’t help herself; she let her hand slip under his t-shirt to brush against the bare skin there, her fingers finding the contours of his muscles and gently tracing along.

...Well, that might have been a bit too much, because Satoru suddenly lifted his free hand to hold her head, tilting it up as his lips immediately found hers and—goodbye movie.

Yura smiled against Satoru’s mouth as he shifted on the couch, maneuvering both of their bodies so she would fully turn towards him as he moved between her legs. Her hand had to leave his stomach with the movement, and she briefly lamented the lack of contact before he was quickly on her again.

As her hands came up to cradle his face close to her, his lips were a bit insistent as they moved against hers, no soft and slow movements this time—instead, Satoru locked their lips together in deep kisses that had her head spinning. He kept pushing her backwards too, until she eventually ended up lying back on the couch, Satoru always moving with her as he settled right between her legs. He was quick to pull off his sunglasses and toss them away, and Yura had to smile again at his clear impatience before his lips were immediately back on hers. Why had he even suggested a movie night when what he wanted for tonight was clearly this?

Oh well. Yura let her hands slip underneath Satoru’s shirt again to caress his back, while his tongue pushed its way into her mouth. One of his hands made its way down her waist, tilting her hips up and making sure they were perfectly slotted against his—so that once he started grinding his hips down onto hers, she would definitely feel it.

“...Someone’s a little impatient,” Yura breathed out as they disconnected their mouths. And Satoru didn’t even give himself a chance to breathe, as he immediately pressed his lips to her cheek and started trailing down kisses all the way to her neck.

“I was out all week,” he said, in between kisses to her skin.

Yura snorted. “We had sex yesterday.”

“...Still plenty of time we need to make up for.”

She was pretty sure Satoru was grinning against her neck, and Yura huffed out a laugh that ended up turning into a moan when Satoru started sucking on that one spot and ground his hips onto hers at the same time.

Satoru certainly seemed to be up and ready himself, didn’t he?

“You sure that you didn’t get turned on thinking about that porn movie from last time?” Yura huffed out as Satoru’s hips started insistently grinding against hers, effectively starting to dry hump her. Yura let her thighs spread a bit wider, tilting her hips so the pressure would be on just the right spot.

“...That was an erotic movie,” Satoru insisted, lifting his head back up. “And no... Maybe.” He shot her a crooked grin.

Satoru’s mouth found hers again. When his hands slipped down to start tugging at her shorts, Yura simply lifted her hips to assist their removal, and Satoru pulled away from her so he could tug her shorts and panties away in one go. She looked up at him, amused; so that was how eager he was? Zero patience for anything else, not even bothering to remove her oversized sweater as he completely bared her bottom to him.

And he, of course, wasn’t too far behind; after tossing her shorts and underwear somewhere, he immediately started pushing down his own pants, also neglecting to remove his own t-shirt. Yura could help, she thought, still amused as she looked up at Satoru rushing to remove his sweatpants. But Satoru was just so darn eager, that maybe... he could learn to have a little patience.

Yura sat up as Satoru was about to return to her, sans pants. And as she placed a hand on his chest to hold him back, making him look at her in confusion, she tried biting back a smile. “...I still want to watch the movie, though,” she said, and Satoru continued to stare, completely befuddled—he’d clearly been expecting something else.

He was so confused that when she started urging him backwards, he just let her guide him without a word. His blue eyes were blinking up at her as if to ask ‘what are you doing?’, but Yura only smiled in return, pushing him back until he was finally sitting again on the couch. She gave him no chance to say anything then, quickly climbing onto his lap—except it was to sit on it with her back to his chest. Not exactly what he had in mind, and as she grabbed his hands to wrap his arms around her body in an innocuous embrace, she could feel the sheer confusion radiating from all over him.

“...Yura,” Satoru eventually spoke up behind her as she settled onto his lap, facing the TV. Never mind that both of their bottom halves were completely bare, and she had purposefully sat with his erection under her... “What—”

“Shh,” she interrupted him. “It’s movie night, and I wanna watch a movie.”

She was desperately trying to bite back a grin.

“Yuraaaa,” he whined behind her, his arms tightening around her body as he dropped his forehead against her shoulder. “There are more fun things to do than a movie.”

Satoru’s hands tried moving up her chest, but she grabbed them again and held them in place. “You said we were going to watch a movie—so we’re watching a movie,” she said again. But her hips shifted around, rubbing against him, and Satoru drew in a sharp exhale.

Yura kept her eyes on the TV, even though she wasn’t actually paying attention. And neither was Satoru, although she wasn’t surprised in the least—she could still see a mess of white hair against the side of her head, his face still pressed against her shoulder as his arms held her tightly to him. His hips tried grinding up into her, and she could feel him tantalizingly close to her unclothed core—but patience. She shifted on his lap, sitting up straighter, and it made him whine again.

She unwrapped his arms from around her, removing them from her body. “Behave. It’s movie night, remember?” she said, and Satoru whined again.

...But the thing was, she had shifted on his lap, with a purpose. She could now open her thighs just a bit more, and, there you go—his member was slotted right against the crack of her buttocks. And Satoru sure had noticed that, suddenly going still as he seemed to be waiting for what she was going to do next.

And what she did next was grind her hips down, slowly. Satoru let out a shaky breath, and she did it again, and again, and to be honest, the more she shifted back, the more she could feel him rubbing against her outer folds. She was teasing him, yes, but it also left her wanting more, despite her little plan to act as blasé about it as possible—so Yura couldn’t help herself. She shifted back some more, sitting further back on his lap so she could feel his entire length resting right outside her core.

Yura bit her lip, looking down at her thighs to see the head of him poking out from between them. What a sight, she thought, but when she ground her hips down again, it didn’t really provide enough pressure to satisfy her properly, his member still remaining outside of her folds.

So she took matter into her own hands, literally—she reached down with one hand and used it to press him up against her, slotting him between her folds and finally rubbing herself against him. Her nether lips were hugging his length tightly, increasingly coating him in her wetness with every movement she made. Satoru’s hands were gripping her hips, trying to urge her further, and despite all that, Yura was still trying to pretend that she was fully engrossed in the movie in front of them.

“Satoru, you’re missing the best part,” Yura spoke up, and Satoru only let out a questioning hum behind her. “Of the movie,” she clarified. She shifted her hips again, and she let her thumb caress the head of his length for a moment.

“This is not... the best part,” Satoru responded. “We haven’t reached the climax yet.”

Yura’s grin widened. “No, but we can’t just skip there,” she said, paired with another roll of her hips, the feeling of his member dragging against her folds way too good for her to stop. “Gotta go through the rest of the movie first.”

Yura let her thighs fall open some more, spreading her legs further on his lap. Maybe it was time to move on to the ‘next scene’, she thought, amused, and she finally shifted on his lap, folding her legs back as she essentially knelt down outside of his thighs. She still kept him pressed against her folds throughout, unwilling to break the connection, but once she was in the right position with her knees on either side of him, she finally shifted enough to let the head notch against her entrance, and she slowly sank down on him.

Satoru let out a long, shuddering breath as she took him in, and Yura herself did the same. Her hands came to rest on his thighs for support, the feeling of her walls being stretched open as she pushed him into her completely frying her brain for a moment, but not enough for her to stop. Quite the opposite; she continued sinking down until he was all the way inside, her hips meeting his and she let her weight drop onto his lap, taking a moment to just... enjoy the feeling.

“...Okay,” she eventually breathed out, opening her eyes back up. “Let’s watch the movie.”

Satoru let out a confused ‘hm?’ as Yura bit back a grin again, keeping her hips still. Her eyes were glued to the screen, and once Satoru realized she was not going to move, he whined again. “Yuraa—”

His hands started creeping up from her hips, and she had to knock them away from her. “It’s movie night,” she said, and even if she couldn’t see his face, she could tell he was pouting. His hands tried returning to her body, but she once again slapped them away. “Behave. Let me watch the damn thing.”

She wasn’t really watching the damn thing. Her eyes were glued to the screen, yes, but Yura had no idea what was going on anymore. Something something the main character needed to find a date, but that seemed almost irrelevant—not when she could feel Satoru hot and heavy inside of her, feeling him stretch her open on the inside. Satoru dropped his hands to the couch cushions once he realized she wasn’t going to let him touch, and he eventually let his body fall back against the couch as he seemingly decided to just roll with it.

“Is the movie really that good?” he asked, almost like making conversation. But to be honest, Yura had gotten a little distracted—when Satoru had moved, she’d felt him shift inside of her, and she bit her lip at the feeling.

“...Sure,” she replied. The fact that she was sitting directly on him made the feeling of him even better, seemingly increasing all the pressure there inside of her. Of course, sitting still for too long made her get too used to it, so Yura shifted her hips just a bit, just so she could feel him moving inside of her and she bit her lip some more.

“I was the one who picked it,” Satoru commented. Yura suddenly felt him start caressing the curve of her ass ever so slightly, brushing the skin there up and down until it reached where she was pressed against him. “I do have good taste.”

Yura hummed out a vague response, still trying to pay attention to the screen. But it was too distracting, feeling him slotted snugly inside of her; she thought she could feel something throbbing down there, but at this point, she couldn’t be sure whether that was him or her anymore.

Maybe both.

The main character on the TV was asking her best friend for advice, who seemed to be trying to talk some sense into her. Or at least that’s what Yura guessed, because her mind was elsewhere entirely—the feeling of him was almost too much, and even after all this time of them sleeping together, she was often taken aback by how deep Satoru could go.

One of her hands left his thigh, coming up to rest on her lower stomach instead. Her fingers splayed open on her own skin, slipping under her sweater as she absentmindedly caressed herself there. She wasn’t sure if it was just her imagination or not, but there were times that when she pressed down on her stomach like that, she thought she could almost feel him inside that way. Well, she could definitely feel him inside in another way, and she let her hips shift just the slightest bit again just so she could feel him sliding against her walls once more.

...This was actually really nice, she thought. What a fun movie night.

The main character in the movie seemed to have finally gotten somewhere with the male lead, and they were moving in for their first kiss. But before their lips could make contact, someone interrupted them, and then Yura suddenly jumped when Satoru decided to brush a finger over the sole of her foot—her walls immediately contracting around him at the tickling sensation.

“...Honestly,” Yura breathed out, though she was pretty sure Satoru had also let out a small gasp at the feeling. “You just won’t let me watch the movie in peace, will you?” she said, even as her lips were tugging upwards.

“What are you talking about,” Satoru said, and she could feel the sly tone in his voice even without seeing the accompanying grin. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Honestly,” Yura repeated, except that this time, she rolled her hips along with it. “Just let me watch the movie.”

Satoru, however, had nothing to complain about this time as Yura started moving her hips against his, pushing him in and out of her. In fact, she was sure she felt him fall back down against the cushions with a long sigh, his hands coming up to hold on to her calves as her hips rolled on top of him.

Yura set out at a quick pace, her hips moving with purpose. Her eyes also never left the screen, even if it was all a blur at this point—the feeling of him dragging along her walls was too good for her to pay attention to anything else. She adjusted the angle and quickened her pace, feeling Satoru’s fingers tighten against her skin as she heard his breathing pick up behind her, and it only encouraged her further.

Yura was completely focused on her own movements, her hands holding on to his thighs for support as her hips never stopped rolling on top of him. She did eventually change the angle again, her hips starting to move back and forth now, and that’s when she felt Satoru’s hand leave her calf to come up to her hip. She felt his upper body lift off the couch behind her, shifting closer to let his hand trail to her front—and she slapped it away.

“I’m busy,” she chided, still trying to bite back her own sly grin. “This movie is really good.”

“...Yeah?” Satoru breathed out, seeming confused again for a second.

“Hm-hm,” Yura nodded, returning her hands to his thighs, using them as leverage... but also caressing his thighs a bit. “You’re the one... otherwise distracted.”

Satoru let out a shaky breath, his torso dropping back to the couch. “I’m very distracted. Getting... more distracted by the second.”

She did allow herself to grin this time. “Then just be done with it... and get back to the movie.” Her pace increased.

Satoru’s hands gripped her calves again, breathing out her name. It wouldn’t be long now, she figured, letting her inner muscles contract around him; his fingers tightened on her skin at the feeling and she did it again.

Yura couldn’t help but glance behind her now, catching Satoru with his head thrown back against the cushions and his chest heaving up and down, almost in synch with her own movements. He seemed to be really into it, she thought, smiling, as she turned her head back to the front. She let her inner muscles squeeze him again, increasing her pace, and it didn’t take long for him to finally snap—his hips pushed up into hers, and she finally felt him start releasing himself deep inside of her with a long, drawn-out groan.

As Yura felt the warmth inside of her increasing, she let her hips slow down even as she squeezed him with her inner muscles once more, urging on his release. She closed her eyes this time, enjoying the feeling, letting her hips come to a halt by sinking back down on him completely and staying there.

As Satoru panted behind her, Yura let herself catch her own breath even if her body was still tense from the lack of release. This felt good, though, and she was enjoying it as part of the experience—the way she could still feel him inside, the way he made her feel full. And suddenly, one of her hands ended up returning to her lower stomach, pressing down gently, the thought of heirs and babies suddenly passing through her mind and Yura tried not to think about how those intrusive thoughts weren’t quite as unwelcome as they used to be. Feeling Satoru’s release inside of her was making her stomach do strange, but not unpleasant, flip flops—was this some sort of weird kink she had suddenly developed? She would definitely have to blame Satoru for this one. There would be no Gojo babies any time soon with her IUD in place, but the thought of them...

Maybe one day, echoed around in her mind, and Yura didn’t chase it away. Instead, she let her palm warm up her stomach, just as she could still feel Satoru warming up her insides.

...and he was definitely still warm and hard inside of her. So much stamina, she mentally laughed; he was showing no signs of softening anytime soon.

Yura’s lips tugged up.

Round two, then?

“...You still watching that movie?” Satoru eventually spoke up, still a little breathless.

“Yep,” she answered. But she let the hand on her stomach trail down, slipping between her legs until she reached the spot where their bodies were joined. Yura let her fingers brush against the base of his length, even if there wasn’t much space for it as she had sunk down on him completely. She teased both him and her there with gentle touches, and she couldn’t tell whether the stickiness she was feeling was from her or him or both.

One thing that did occur to her, though, was the fact that, hold on, there was a bit of him left that she could still take in, right? Her fingers rubbed against it and then against her folds wrapped around him, feeling his fingers tightening on her calves again. So Yura shifted her hips back, adjusting the angle and pushing down, and yeah—just a little bit deeper.

She stayed like that for a while longer, enjoying how it felt. It was almost like she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began—they were completely joined as one like this. She would have never imagined this feeling could be so intoxicating, a sudden wish for them to stay there forever passing through her—if only her body hadn’t started craving more.

The characters on the screen seemed to be finally hooking up, a modestly filmed sex scene starting up that couldn’t compare to what was going on outside of the TV. Satoru’s hands found her buttocks again, but instead of caressing them, he began squeezing them in his hold, playing with the flesh there. Yura briefly wondered if he was enjoying the sight back there, but her brain was suddenly emptied when she started shifting her hips slightly, enjoying the way Satoru was prodding at the deepest parts of her. Just lightly shifting her hips on top of him, pressing down to feel the pressure of him inside, but her movements eventually started to increase bit by bit. She began raising her hips and sinking back down, feeling him drag in and out of her and then in again—and this time, she was focusing on herself.

Yura’s hips kept moving up and down, making sure to adjust the angle so she could take him in as deep as she could with every thrust. Her movements couldn’t be too fast if she wanted to keep sinking in all the way, so she made up for it in intensity. She was almost bouncing on his lap, her hands gripping his thighs again as she adjusted her hips to push him in harder, stimulating something deep inside of her every time. And all the while, Satoru did nothing but let her do as she pleased, his hands cupping her ass almost like he was holding it up for her.

The movie in front of them was long forgotten as Yura let her head fall down, too immersed in the way her walls were being forced open every time she pushed him in. She could definitely feel something leaking out from where they were joined, her mind briefly registering it as his previous release—while the other part of her mind was saying more.

“Yura,” he breathed out her name, his hands sliding down from her behind until they were gripping her calves again. Yeah, she wanted more—more of him, more of this, just... more. So one of her hands eventually left his thigh, pressing down on her stomach again (was she really feeling him there or...?), and slowly, she slipped it down between her legs. As she started rubbing herself, her desperation only increased, her movements becoming erratic as she gripped his thigh harder. Her legs tensed and relaxed and tensed again, and she could feel Satoru’s legs doing the same under her. Come on, now, she thought to herself. A little more—

And it finally hit her, her hips roughly sinking down completely as her walls clamped around him, squeezing him, as her orgasm crashed over her. Satoru seemed to join her right after, his hips thrusting himself even deeper as she felt his warmth filling her up again.

Yura stayed still, letting the waves of pleasure wash over her. Her walls were spasming around him and she suddenly felt full again—not even realizing her hand had moved up from between her legs to rest on her stomach once more.

...Ah, shit. Definitely a new kink.

She could feel Satoru’s heavy breathing behind her as they both struggled to catch their breaths. His tight grip on her calves eventually loosened, and he was the one to finally break the silence.

“That’s... one hell of a movie,” Satoru spoke up, still breathless.

Yura laughed.

Once her eyes were unscrewed shut, her gaze eventually landed on the TV again. The movie was still playing.

With a long exhale, Yura let her torso fall back against him, feeling his chest heaving against her back in synch with hers. He sadly ended up slipping out of her with the movement, but his arms eventually came to circle her body, holding her close.

She sighed. Her hands came up to rest on top of his, her eyes landing on the TV screen again. The movie seemed to be close to its end, the main characters trying to resolve a misunderstanding between the two, but Yura was too busy feeling Satoru’s release slipping out of her to pay attention to the screen.

(...His couch was leather, it should be fine...)

“You know,” Satoru started, pressing his lips to the side of her head. “We could put on another movie after this...”

Yura laughed again, awkwardly unfurling her legs from under her and stretching them out. “We could,” she agreed.

She felt Satoru grinning against her cheek. “We could even go watch a movie in the bedroom, and then in the bathroom—”

“You don’t have a TV in the bathroom,” she reminded him.

Satoru huffed out a laugh. “We can get creative.”

Yura laughed with him; that they could...

[gamie99]

Hey, Skibidi Tumblr! Let's do another writing exercise!

I posted the first of these a few months ago on Christmas Day, and I absolutely loved all the responses you guys made! I had so much fun reading your additions, that I just had to do another one! In fact, I've had this exact prompt brewing in the back of my mind for forever! I think y'all will really like it!

(I wanted to add concept doodles to this prompt too, but I'm tired rn and can't be bothered lmao. Maybe I'll add them later ^^;)

In case you missed it, here's the gist!:

Under the cut, I've written a little scene with dialogue involving some of my OCs (in this case, Skip and Solo!). Anyone that wants to participate can reblog this post with their own characters, reacting and responding to the provided scenario!

If you aren't all that good at writing but still want to participate, then that's alright. Bullet points describing your character's thoughts or actions, or even drawing your OC's response are perfectly fine as well!

Happy writing, everybody! Can't wait to see what you'll make this time! :D

They had them cornered now.

In a dark and tiny alleyway in the heart of an old-world city, two traitors stood against the world. The first of them, a lanky Speakerman, dressed in a gray suit and a rather bold and colorful tie. The second, a scrawny Skibidi, with disheveled dark hair and old scars running down his cheek. The pair huddled together, backs pressed against old brick and mortar. The Skibidi tried his best to ignore the pounding pain in the side of his head, as fresh blood ran down the side of his face and dripped below into his slightly cracked bowl. The Speakerman stood in front of him, attempting to put on a brave face. He couldn't do it very well, unfortunately. Who wouldn't, if practically their entire faction was staring them down?

Blocking the entrance to the alley was a large squadron of Alliance agents - cameras, speakers, TVs and all. Speakermen gave the defector betrayed looks of shame, and Cameramen stood at attention with their guns ready - a few of them were broadcasting, the Speakerman noticed. A few TV Men stood amongst them, their arms crossed and their screens displaying disapproving stares. Their lone large unit stood furthest back with with his sub-screens outstretched, shining blinding spotlights down on the little runaways.

Police sirens suddenly sounded off, and the toilet looked up to see the law enforcement of his kind hovering in the air overhead. Mutants and striders stood on the rooftops, glaring down at him with sharpened fangs and glowing eyes that pierced through the dark. This was it. It was over. They were surrounded on all sides. They well and truly had no chance of escape, they were completely and utterly trapped.

Standing defensively in front of the injured Skibidi, the Speakerman reached into his pocket and shakily pulled out a combat knife, rusted and chipped from months of under-use. Holding it in front of him so amateurishly made him look almost freshly built, like he had just begun basic training.

"P-please!" the Speakerman pleaded, his voice waivering with his confidence . "Don't... don't hurt us! D-don't hurt him!"

[bettsfic]

Hi betts! Hope you're doing good! Do you have any advice on how to distance yourself from social media? I saw that you've done so with success and the older I get the more I feel a bit trapped by the internet.

social media certainly has benefits: keeping people connected, giving a voice to those who otherwise wouldn't have a platform, and it allows you to meet new people in the context of interest rather than location.

at least, these are the things social media set out to be, and over time those benefits, to me anyway, haven't been able to outweigh the drawbacks: compulsively checking apps, doomscrolling, content appearing by algorithm to attempt to cater to my interests, and just generally a lot of wasted time.

i don't necessarily believe that if you stop using social media, suddenly you'll be able to devote every minute of your day to a higher pursuit. the brain doesn't work like that. it always needs downtime. before phones, we had television. before television, we had radio. lacking glowing screens and people telling us things from far away, i think we'd all spend a lot of time looking at the things humans are built to look at: fire, water, mountains, sky. we'll listen to stories or read them or watch them.

during your mind's downtime, i don't think anything you decide to do is fundamentally better or worse than any other thing. but i do think social media is designed to manipulate our attention toward it during that downtime (and honestly, all other times) and that pisses me off. it also pisses me off that even though we impose cause-and-effect sequences to our interaction with social media, it doesn't often provide us with a narrative the way reading, watching tv, or listening to a podcast would. stories are a psychological necessity; without the mind's ability to perceive sequences of events and connect them, we wouldn't have memories. we would have no concept of time, of thinking into the past or casting our thoughts into the future. social media, in its drive to keep us scrolling, looking at posts with no narrative connection to one another, deprives us of the stories our minds seek during our downtime.

this got super long so i'm putting it under a cut. tl;dr you need to remove social media as a positive stimulus and build immediate positive stimuli into other aspects of your life. in other words, social media feels good immediately but neutral or bad over time; most other things like reading feel bad or neutral initially but good over time. so you have to find ways to make the latter feel good with the immediacy of the former.

i don't mean to be "old man shakes fist at cloud" about this. i'm a millennial. from facebook's widespread release through the beginning of the pandemic, i raced to every new social media platform. i was an early myspace adopter. my high school graduating class was the very first year people outside of college could use facebook, and so we're the first cohort to have all befriended each other before graduation and never lost touch, completely removing the appeal of a reunion. i joined twitter in 2008 but never used it, and i joined tumblr in 2012 and never stopped using it.

i remember the day i got a smartphone. i was a few years behind everyone else. it was 2010 and i'd just gotten my first office job and i was desperate to be able to look at social media, scroll through stuff or read something, when i was bored. it was an iPhone 4. and as soon as i got it out of the box, i sat and played on it for 10 straight hours.

for those of you who are too young to remember a time before smartphones, i can't emphasize enough how much they changed things. in my life, i went from waking up and eating breakfast and reading for a little bit, to waking up and eating breakfast and getting on my computer to look at facebook and read my daily webcomics, to waking up and reaching over to my nightstand and looking at my phone.

and i don't know, i just decided i didn't want that anymore. last fall i was at this artist residency with no cell service and barely any wifi. and one day the wifi went out. i had a visceral negative reaction to that, which made me step back and go, oh wow, i am way too tethered to the internet. that day, wandering around the property with nothing to do, i got this intense urge to read an old paperback novel. you know, the mass market paperbacks with the pulpy yellow paper and the misaligned typeface. and so i found a very old copy of fellowship of the ring, cracked it open, and read it all day.

the thing about getting away from social media is that it's slow. i don't think you can really go cold turkey. when i got home from the residency, i went on a long hiatus and had all these strict rules for myself about when i was allowed to look at my phone and when i wasn't, but that didn't really work for me. but i did delete all the social media apps from my phone, and on my computer i logged out of all of them and deleted my saved passwords, so if i wanted to check them, i had to go to that extra step of logging in and even typing in my password. and that doesn't seem like a lot, but when you're checking social media out of habit, muscle memory, something to attend to that might give you a brief blip of dopamine, having to type your password is just one step too far. the brief pleasure i would get from checking my notifications was less than the hassle of logging in.

and that's what it all comes down to: feeling good. in the moment, it feels good to check a social media app, to see that somebody has interacted with your content or maybe with you directly. it's that tiny subconscious exclamation point, the feeling we get when somebody politely smiles or waves at us, when a dog comes up to us wagging his tail, when a well-meaning stranger compliments your outfit. that's the social part of social media. but that's also the part that keeps us cycling through our apps out of habit and boredom.

so you have to take away that stimulus from yourself, and you have to create positive stimuli elsewhere. to take away the positive stimulus of social media, you have to stop posting content on it. content is the mind killer. when you tweet something, your impulse might be to check that someone has interacted with it. but if you step away from the great conversation of social media, nobody speaks back to you, and you develop more patience for the longer-term good feelings of reading a book.

of course, that's complicated. i guess the first step that i did a long time ago was losing interest in traffic and developing the internal validation skills that make interaction on social media a bonus, not a need. before that, though, i had a drive to be seen and listened to. i think i just grew out of that. regardless of the existence of the internet, all people throughout history have spent their lives developing their relationship with themselves, learning who they are and coming to accept it. i'm not sure there's a way to rush that inner journey along.

creating positive stimuli is a matter of adopting a kind of little-treat attitude toward things. you have to really pay attention to yourself. the day i picked up the fellowship of the ring, i remembered that paper is important to me. vitally important. i like to write on it. i like to read from it. and it's kind of weird to say "paper is my special interest," but it is. all tools of writing interest me. so acknowledging that, accepting it and choosing to accommodate it, was my first small goal of building immediate positive stimuli.

some of the connection we have to social media (and phones in general) is the physical habit that develops from it. when smokers quit smoking, their hands feel empty. they're used to having something between their fingers, and so they replace that with something like a pen or a straw.

for me, i replaced the physical habit of phone-checking with paper-holding, either in the form of a book, or a notebook and pen. i set about finding my perfect notebook: the one that feels best to hold, the one i'm eager to fill, the one whose paper is quality enough that i love to write on it. the one i found and that kind of changed my life was a Rhodia A4 spiral bound. i take it everywhere with me. in fact i went to the doctor earlier this week and because i was holding my notebook, it didn't even occur to me to look at my phone while i was waiting for the doctor to see me, even though it was in my pocket (and i did download tumblr again, and instagram to support my sister, who is kind of a local influencer). the positive stimulus of looking at it had become less than the positive stimulus of holding my notebook. the potential to easily write something or doodle felt better than the distraction of social media.

did my doctor probably think it was weird that i was taking notes? maybe. did i look weird sitting in the theater before seeing oppenheimer, brainstorming barbie fic ideas? definitely. but i just don't care anymore. sometimes making healthy choices for yourself in a world built to manipulate your attention makes you look weird.

my advice is to spend a week without social media apps on your phone, logged out of them on your computer, and pay very close attention to the things that make you happiest. find ways to interact with those things continuously, and see what happens.

[sethcertified]

「 IN HIS EMBRACE ! 」 . . . 📁

scream : billy loomis

wrd count : 468

⊹˚.⋆ synopsis . . . billy doesn’t want to let you go during cuddling

⊹˚.⋆ starring . . . billy loomis & gn reader

Not many people were aware of how badly Billy Loomis craved touch. Most would assume he hated it with his cold demeanor, but you knew better. You knew that Billy Loomis was a sucker for cuddling. After all, it wasn't uncommon for Billy's arms to be wrapped around you as you lay on top of his body. In fact, it's what you guys were doing right now.

Your chin rested on Billy's chest as he watched

Halloween. His hands drew lines up and down on the small of your back mindlessly. "Billy?" You pursed your lips as you awaited his response. He let out a hum of acknowledgment, not letting his eyes drift away from the tv screen. You fiddled with the collar of his white tee, "I have to pee"

"Okay, then go pee."

“Billy, you're arms are keeping me trapped in this position,” you groaned.

Billy just let out a huff, "Can't you just pee later?"

You kicked Billy's ankle, "I hope you know my knee is an inch away from your dick, and I will not hesitate to jam it up there if you don't let me go to the bathroom."

"Fine! Fine!" Billy slipped his hands out of your shirt as you hopped out of his arms. You rushed to the bathroom as Billy watched your retreating body. A mischievous smirk dawned his face as he rolled out of bed; moving to stand next to the closed bathroom door. A plan had emerged in his mind to give you a little scare.

The doorknob twisted, and Billy prepared himself. You stepped out of the bathroom-

Billy lurched forward as he shouted, "Boo!" You tumbled back in fright as a loud squeal left you mouth, "BILLY!

His hands gripped your shoulders, trying to calm you down, as you hit him, "Why would you do that!"

His grip turned into a hug as he now held you in his arms with a snarky smile, "I missed you,” he taunted.

"I was gone for like a minute!"

"I don't think that means I can’t miss you,” Billy snarky replied.

"Whatever,” you rolled your eyes at his words but leaned against his chest with your eyes closed.

Nothing beat being in Billy's arms. Well, except maybe being in Billy's arm in bed instead of the middle of the hallway. "Can we go lay down before my feet start to hurt?"

"Only if you don't have to pee again."

You raised your eyebrow at Billy not appreciating his joke, "And why are you so against me being peeing? That's kinda weird, you know."

"I like having you in my arms even if you're a twerp."

"You like me!? Aww, Billy-baby!"

“I take that back.”

You slapped Billy's arm again as he began to escort you back to the bed with his arm draped around your shoulder. The two of you climbed back into bed returning to the position you were once in. Resting your chin on Billy's chest once more; you looked up at him, "Hey, Billy"

"Hm?"

"I like being in your arms too."

✎ notes . . . yes, this is a repost. tumblr deleted my old acc >:( ⟡      .        ⛪      ◦    �� ✺

©️ sethcertified 2023

[ittybluebell]

꧁༺Blue's Garden ༻꧂

welcome to my garden - a complete guide of my growing creative works, all g/t! i don't do vore and i don't post nsfw. i'm all about that fluff and angst, baybee!!

(creative priority is basically whichever concept/fic i am more interested in as i am riddled with adhd and don't know how to juggle projects)

I have a Ko-fi!! I will draw for money :3

❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀ 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀

AO3:

Itty Bitty Brains, an iZombie g/t fic about a borrower named Atom who moves into the morgue. He becomes besties-maybe-more with Ravi while navigating the difficulties of being tiny in a giant, undead world. Fluff and angst! With drama and a slow burn romance on the side.

Nine, a Sense8 g/t fic about a borrower named Clover who is part of the main cluster and the sensates experience the world in a way that is completely new and fascinating to all of them. Drama with a serving of wacky perspective shenanigans, hurt/comfort, and found family.

Roommate, a Daredevil g/t fic that focuses on Finch - a borrower who moved into Matt's apartment - and Matt trying to coexist and all the trials and tribulations that follow. Hesitant roommates become tentative friends as Finch pretends they don't give a damn about a human and Matt's desire to protect who he can slowly turns him into a mother hen. Angst, dry humour, reluctant (platonic) bonding, and some trauma sprinkled on top.

Little Devil, a Lucifer (tv) g/t fic centred on Lex, a lone tween borrower who, unfortunately, becomes the Devil's newest interest when he catches her. Despite Lucifer's general dislike of children and complete disregard of boundaries, Lex latches on to the only adult in her life and Lucifer is bamboozled into the role of an unwitting father figure for a girl that is smaller than his hand. Found family/accidental baby acquisition. Lucifer is Lucifer, in which he grows as a person thanks to the people around him; expect lots of drama and feelings.

TUMBLR:

Itty Bitty Brains || latest chapter (3) || chapter 4 snippet

Roommate || latest chapter (2) || in the cupboard (matt's pov) || the last straw || what is the horned figure? || long-ass post about matt feeling protective of finch || the glue trap

❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀ 𝐀𝐫𝐭 ❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀

Itty Bitty Brains: Atom (old) || Atom, meet glass cup || doctor's little confidants (old) || Cav

Roommate: Goldfinch || terms and conditions

Hazbin Hotel: batsy oc sketches (batsy sketches the squeakuel) || catch her in the rye

Little Devil: lex got yoinked oh nooo

[infamousbrad]

you see me now, a veteran of a thousand shipping wars

So I just saw the Variety interview with Rebecca Sugar about the 10th anniversary of the first episode of Steven Universe, and I have Big Damned Feelings about something in it. Things that I should know better than to say in public. Old battles that never ended in anything but the shakiest of armistices. Things we all coalesced into an unspoken agreement to never speak of again, but, being me, I can't help myself, I gotta vent. About the second time that Steven Universe fandom made ourselves look monstrous, one of the biggest reasons why other fandoms believe that Steven Universe fans are the worst fans in fandom.

Not only was I right about the Amedot/Lapidot shipwar, I was one of the ONLY people who was right about it. And that doesn't happen often, but I was in a unique place to see it. Because, you see, I am a member of the most hated group in fandom, especially here on Tumblr.

I fucking hate non-canon 'ships. Hate, hate, hate them.

Go ahead, call me a monster.

There are people in this world who, if you hand them a random pile of fashion dolls and/or action figures, are going to make them all kiss and then make them all fuck. It's like that's the only story they know: "now make them kiss!"

And time after time, I'm over here in the outcasts corner muttering to myself, "There is nothing in the canonical source material, nothing in these characters' culture, no authorial conscious or unconscious intent nor in the actors' performances, that suggests that these characters would ever in a million years find each other romantically or sexually attractive, let alone kiss, let alone fuck. There ARE other kinds of relationships, y'know."

In my old age I've long-since learned to let it just roll off of my back like water off a duck, to let them have their disgusting fun, to not let it get to me no matter how much it looks like defacing some artist's beloved work. Not my circus, not my monkeys; let people like what they like.

But.

When we were introduced to Lapis, the very first thing we were told about her was that she had just been released from 5,000 years of solitary confinement in that mirror (for a crime that Pink Diamond framed her for, not that she knew that) and spent some long part of that time in straight-up sensory deprivation with the mirror trapped in Pearl's pearl.

There was no way in hell she was ever going to process enough of that trauma to form any kind of romantic or sexual feelings in just a couple of seasons of a TV show. I found the whole idea that she was going to kiss anyone, fuse with anyone, emotionally repugnant.

Not long after we met Peridot, we found out that she felt deep shame and horror when the Crystal Gems took away her limb-enhancers. We even found out why: she was deep in the Gem Hegemony's propaganda that "off-color," form-non-compliant gems are disgusting abominations. And our Peridot only barely cleared the threshold. Only barely normal enough to have not been straight-up recycled at birth, but still ugly as fuck to a form-compliant peridot. She has known since however many tens of thousands of years ago she was made that nobody was ever going to fuse with her.

There was no way in hell she was ever going to process enough of that trauma to form any kind of romantic or sexual feelings in just a couple of seasons of a TV show. I found the whole idea that she was going to kiss anyone, fuse with anyone, emotionally repugnant.

So I appreciated the scene where she, in a moment of vulnerability, tried to fuse with Amethyst, the first gem she ever physically touched. And I appreciated even more the instilled shame and self-loathing that wouldn't let her go through with it.

So when Amedot shippers and Lapidot shippers went full on nuclear on every social media platform, like scorched-earth mutually assured destruction nuclear, determined to use coordinated action and maximal nastiness against anyone who advocated for a non-canon ship that contradicted their non-canon ship? I spent that whole time losing my damned mind, and the more people got driven off of social media over this (including, for fucks' sake, one of the show's own writing team, Lauren Zuke!) the more I went from trying to gently change the subject to just full-on fucking hating them both.

Rebecca Sugar has just straight-up said that both the Amedot shippers and the Lapidot shippers were wrong, and her explanation for why they were both wrong is pretty close to my interpretation of the writing and the performances (which, and I know this is part of why I have to vent about this, doesn't happen all that often). So if you fought in the Amedot/Lapidot War? I hope you're suitably ashamed of what you did, and I hope you finally learned better.

Okay, I got that out of my system. How you respond to that is on you. Replies and reblogs are open, but if you hate me for saying this, understand that I don't fucking care what you think.

[melis-hellis]

had a dream last night where i was watching random TV bumpers and i saw a comment on a nick jr video where they headcanonned the "nick" in the old nick jr logo (y'know the one where the "nick" parent is holding the "jr" child's hand) as autistic and i screenshotted the comment and posted it on tumblr and then i woke up to find out the person who made the comment hacked my account and all they did was change my profile picture to mr. wolf from the bad guys and post a thirst trap gifset of him. they messaged me on youtube with a death threat

[griffin-girl-r]

They are coming for her

Created: 06.03.2023

Finished: 05.06.2023

Edited: 22.09.2023

Age: 4

Word count: 1,985

Warnings: Stalking, Fight

Request: Yes (Tumblr user)

Note: This story will not have a part 2

Summary: Natasha discovers that the Red Room is coming after her daughter.

—

"Who is excited to go to the park?" Natasha sang as she walked inside your room, holding your jacket in her hand

"Are we going to the playground?" You asked hopefully before getting too excited

"Yes, we are, my love." Natasha giggled "Now come here and put the jacket on."

You jumped down from your bed where you were playing with your toys and rushed to Natasha, holding your arms up as you waited for her to put your jacket on you.

It was the beginning of the spring and even though outside wasn't as cold as it was a month ago, the wind was still gently blowing and your mother didn't want to risk you catching a cold.

"That's it, baby." Natasha smiled as she looked with a proud smile on her face at you, wearing your cute little jacket

"I'm going to the park!" You shouted excited as you took off running to the open door

"Baby, wait!" Natasha giggled, running off after you

-

"Where are you two going?" Wanda fake gasped from her place on the couch where she was sitting "Without me?"

"We are going to the park, Auntie Wanda!" You excitedly answered making Wanda laugh

"Why don't you come with us?" Natasha asked, taking the last step of the stairs and walking inside the living room, as she smiled at Wanda

"If you insist." Wanda smiled back, standing up from the couch, and turning off the TV "Only for this little cutie."

Wanda pocked your sides, making you laugh and squirm away from her in a failed attempt to get away from the tickling feeling.

"Auntie Wanda, no!" You shouted, unable to control your laugh

"This is because you wanted to go the park without me." The witch kept tickling your sides

"Mama, help!" You shouted, seeking protection from your mother

"I'm coming, sweetheart!" Natasha shouted back, giggling "Just hold on."

Suddenly, Natasha jumped on Wanda's back without a warning and started tickling the younger woman's sides.

Wanda, who was a giggling mess, tried to reach behind her to pry Natasha off of her back, but to no avail.

So instead, Wanda just settled on throwing herself on the couch, trapping Natasha in between her and the couch.

"If you want a fight, I'll give you a fight." Wanda laughed, starting to tickle Natasha

"Y/N, help!" Your mother shouted "Help Mama, please."

You, who were very captivated by the tickling fight between the two grown-up women, stood in place for a second, trying to stop yourself from laughing.

When you finally managed to regulate your breath in the slightest, you wasted no second in approaching your two favorite persons and, gathering all the force your 4-year-old body could muster, tried to push Wanda off of your mother.

"Auntie Wanda, no." You sternly said "Auntie Wanda bad. We don't hurt Mama."

"So you're taking her side?" Wanda looked offended at you but kept a wide smile on her face "You choose to betray me?! Fine! I will not make you pancakes from now on and I will take my revenge for this betrail."

And just like that, Wanda picked you up in her arms and started tickling you all over again.

It's safe to say that this tickling fight between you, your mother, and your aunt didn't end too soon and it was one to remember.

The three laughs echoed throughout the entire compound.

-

Natasha kept watching you, sitting next to Wanda on a bench at the playground, as you called for her.

"Mama, look!" You shouted at Natasha, smiling, as you let yourself go down the slide

"Good job, baby girl!" Your mom cheered, trying to encourage you to have as much fun as you can

"Auntie Wanda!" You shouted for the witch this time "Are you looking at me? I'm a big girl now!"

"I do, sweetheart." Wanda smiled, her eyes never leaving you just like Natasha's "Can't she just stay like this forever?" She said, turning to look at Natasha

"You've read my mind." Natasha nodded, her gaze fixed on you

Wanda sheepishly smiled at Natasha, as the older woman turned to look at Wanda with a concerned look on her face.

"Wanda, not again." Natasha scolded her friend, when realization washed over her "How many times do I have to tell you? We don't read people's minds without their consent or unless it's absolutely necessary."

"I'm sorry..." Wanda smiled apologetically "I couldn't help it."

Natasha shook her head in disapproval, a small smile present on her face.

"Alright." Said Natasha "I'll let it pass this time. But just know that it's very awkward and uncomfortable to have someone read your private thoughts."

"Yeah, I know." Wanda nodded "But it wasn't that bad."

"Wasn't it?" Natasha gave Wanda her famous smirk, watching in triumph as Wanda's face contracted in disgust

"Oh, Natasha, no!" Wanda shouted, shaking her head, trying to erase the image she had just seen in Natasha's mind "I didn't need to see that. I have no interest in how Y/N was conceived."

"I hope that now you've learned your lesson, Wands." Natasha smirked satisfied, crossing her legs one over the other

"I did. Jeez." Wanda dragged out "You didn't have to be so cruel."

"Oh, stop it." Natasha laughed "Don't tell me that Vision doesn't have these moves?"

"I am not going to talk about this right now." Wanda muttered embarrassed "Or ever, for that matter."

Natasha erupted in a fit of giggles, proud of her little accomplishment.

—

They have been sitting on that bench for about two hours now, as you continued playing not too far away from them.

But no matter what she did, Natasha couldn't shake off the feeling that they were being watched.

Call it intuition or just simply her spy skills and high training, but every cell in her body screamed at her that something was wrong and that she needed to go and investigate in order to keep her baby safe.

"Wanda?" Natasha leaned closer to the witch and whispered in her ear "I need you to create an invisible protective shield around Y/N."

Wanda slightly shifted in her place, picking up on Natasha's anxious state.

"Why? Has something happened?" Wanda whispered concerned as she intently kept her gaze on you to make sure you were still safe

"I feel that something's off." Natasha whispered back "Someone is watching us. I just know. So I'm going to go and check. That's why I need you to protect Y/N."

Wanda's eyes widened but she quickly did as told and with one wave of her hand she created an invisible magic shield around you without questioning Natasha's gut feeling further.

Natasha mouthed a 'Thank you', before she stood up from the bench and pretended to walk in the opposite way.

But Natasha was smart.

She calmly walked until she was out of sight then took another path that led exactly to the spot where she noticed some strange movement earlier while she was at the playground.

She didn't know what to expect when she sneaked behind a tree and watched a woman intently look at Natasha's daughter from her hiding place.

Natasha's eyes widened when she noticed the suit that the woman was wearing and the symbol on her belt was too well known for Natasha.

It was one of Dreykov's Black Widows.

How was that possible?

Natasha eliminated Dreykov and the Red Room many years ago, long before Y/N was born.

How can a Widow be here spying on her innocent daughter?

Natasha could feel the blood in her veins boiling.

Anger started clouding her mind and vision as all she saw in front of her was red.

All her training, as a spy and assassin, to keep her cool temper under any situation went out the door as her maternal instinct kicked in.

The former assassin didn't think too much before jumping from her hiding place and pinning to the ground the Widow that had been watching them for the past few hours.

Natasha was met with resistance, as expected, from the other Widow who roughly looked to be the same age as Natasha.

But Natasha proved herself to be stronger and won the short fight, as the Widow gave in and stopped fighting.

"What do you want?" Natasha shouted through grinned teeth "Why are you here? Who sent you?"

"You know who sent me." The other Widow answered unphased by Natasha's death glare "And you also know why I'm here. You're smart, Widow."

Natasha pressed her forearm on the Widow's throat "I want to hear it from you. I killed Dreykov more than a decade ago."

"That's what he wanted you to believe." The younger Widow breathed out "He thought that you were smarter than this but he was so wrong."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here?" Natasha tilted her head to one side "He won't get me back."

"Oh, but who said that I'm here to take you back?" The Widow smirked "You are no use to him. But your daughter..." She giggled, making Natasha's face fill with horror "Your daughter is still young. Young enough for him to turn her into what you once were. His best assassin. His best Widow."

"Over my dead body." Natasha quickly switched back to her cold demeanor "I am not going to let my daughter become the monster I once was."

"Can't you see that he won't rest until your sweet little daughter becomes his favorite toy?" The Widow spitted back "She's already his by birth. You are his so therefore your daughter becomes his property as well and he won't stop till he won't get her."

Natasha was shocked.

Her worst nightmares turned into a reality as the only thing she dreaded the most came back into her life.

Taking advantage of Natasha's shocked state, the other Widow took her off guard and pushed the redhead off of her.

"The others already know where you hide her." The other woman told Natasha "He asked me to deliver you a message. He said that he'll take back what belongs to him. They are coming for her."

And with that the Widow took off running, leaving Natasha lying on the cold ground, with tears beaming in her eyes.

"No..." Natasha whispered under her breath, quickly standing up and turning her head in the direction of the playground

Much to her relief, you were still happily playing without a care in the world, with Wanda alert of every movement around, ready to fight if needed to protect you.

The spy desperately started running back to the playground.

Her heart beat so fast that, if Natasha didn't know better, she could swear it was about to jump out of her chest any moment.

-

"Wanda!" Natasha shouted, running to you "Wanda we need to go! Now!"

Wanda could hear the fear in Natasha's voice as she watched your mother pick you up and tightly hold you in her arms.

"Mama?" Your little voice asked confused

"Shh..." Natasha shushed you "We need to go, baby. I'm sorry."

"Natasha, what's going on?" Wanda questioned the older redhead, confusion written all over her face

"We have to go." Natasha instructed "I'll tell you why on the way."

"Okay." Wanda nodded, quickly picking up her bag and Natasha's that was filled with your things, and followed her friend to the car

Natasha was desperate to take you to safety.

She couldn't stand the thought of you being abducted by the man she had spent her entire life running from.

She didn't want you to go through the hell she has been in.

You are her innocent little girl.

She won't allow you to be hurt in the way she has been.

She will keep you safe even if she has to give up on her life to do so.

[iycedrem]

How it's going:

Came home from work on the morming of the 16th and noticed that some things were moved around that I don't remember touching. (A shelf under my bed and some stuff on my coffee table)

I had a wedding that I was attending that afternoon, so didn't really have time to look into it and just kinda chalked it up to maybe I just like knocked them out of place by accident at some point and just didn't notice. Immediately went to bed.

Woke up and immediately left to go to the wedding. Had a wonderful time, drank a good bit, and got back home around 8pm.

Now noticing things aren't just moved. Somethings are missing. Snoop a bit further and find purposeful damage to a piece of furniture and signs of forced entry on my basement back door. Someone broke into my house.

Notably and weirdly nothing valuable was stolen. My PC, TVs, Switch, Monitors, Tablets, etc. were all fine. To the best of my knowledge they stole: A Bluetooth speaker (annoying but not the worst thing to lose), a knife my Grandad gave me before he died (the one thing i actually really hate that I lost), a half used pack of AAA batteries (rude, also why?), and a junk box I kept behind my computer monitor that was 90% full of old birthday/ Christmas cards that I just couldn't bring myself to throw away. (???)

After filling a police report, proceeded to order brackets to reinforce my basement door, better locks, and some outdoor security cameras.

The problem is, that stuff isn't showing up for a few days and I'm due back at work tonight for one last night shift before a long weekend and I'm worried this might have just been a casing break-in.

So the plan:

Step 1: reinforce basement door.

Not a prefect solution, but trying to force the lock and deal with the wedged 2x4 isn't going to be easy, they'd have better luck breaking the glass, which I'm hopeful is too risky to try.

Step 2: Create the illusion that the house is occupied.

External lights and most internal lights are on. Ace up my sleeve though is the 11 hour VOD of Jerma playing Seaman on my living room TV. It's long enough to cover the entire duration of my shift and it's mostly just audio of someone talking with very few sound effects.

(Note the damaged record console, spot that hid the sound bar was sliced open by whoever broke in)

Step 3: Call upon "The Boys"

My wonderful amazing friends agreed to help watch a livestream of my Webcam to keep an eye out for movement. (A special thanks to @nermish @cefpodoxime @admiralpickle among some other non tumblr mutuals)

Step 4: finishing touches.

A) Set up an alt account on discord so I could watch my own camera stream from work on my laptop.

(Shout-out to @cefpodoxime for this amazing alt pfp that he slammed out in record time for my new laptop account.)

B) Since the camera doesn't have great view of the entire living room decided to rig a noise trap to alert the stream if some one comes up from the basement.

Ended up adding another 4 or 5 cans after this pic was taken and stacked them taller to ensure a good clatter noise. Tested how it sounded on the stream and it was definitely distinctive.

And C) Nermish asked if we could rig up a mirror so the stream security could watch Jerma in the reflection.

So, I give you the final view:

Note the absolutely miniscule reflection coming from the couch in the next room. There's your jerma stream. Combined with the muffled audio that accurately sounds like Jerma is in the next room. This is easily the worst best way to watch a jerma stream.

At time of writing I am 4ish hours into my 10 hour shift and so far no sign of trouble. Will update if something happens or not. But honestly the absurdity of this set up has made the entire ordeal easier to stomach.