#The Metatron is Satan in disguise

[beckelliesden]

I've been thinking about the Metatron's motivations.

At first, I thought he was using Aziraphale in a simple internal power struggle ploy. He can't be in charge because he's just a spokesman and since he knows Micheal has no intention to share authority with anyone else, he needs a puppet if he wants to run the show. Aziraphale, who is naive and, let's admit it, easily coaxed, makes a perfect candidate. He isn't a very elevated angel, so he assumes he'll be easy to handle - and quite as easy to dismiss if he refuses to play along as intended. And recruiting him has the added bonus of getting rid of a torn in heaven's side by breaking up Aziraphale and Crowley, who are blamed for thwarting Armageddon 1.0. After that 25-lazarii miracle they inadvertently produced together, it's easy to see how the Metatron would be very keen to prevent them from standing in the way of Armageddon 2.0.

Then, I thought about it some more. I thought about some of the dark, ominous looks he's cast from the corner of his eyes, the color-coding of his clothes and the way he oh so easily swayed Aziraphale. Heavens is a lot of things in the show, but it's never flattering and persuasive. Not like that. Flattery and bribery are Hell's tools, and so is playing on people's insecurities and setting them up against one another.

And then I thought, what if the Metatron isn't the Metatron? What if Satan took personal interest in the launching of Armageddon 2.0 and impersonated the Metatron?

God couldn't care less, that's a given, but Satan? He was obviously VERY pissed off and personally involved at the end of S01. It's a bit foolish to think that because Adam thwarted him on Earth he's out of the picture permanently. Or that he won't be trying to extract his revenge on those who thwarted him- it's apparently his whole thing.

And then, we come back to Aziraphale - and, more to the point, Crowley. Who is Aziraphale? A mid-level angel - a nobody who means well and can be easily swayed with the right arguments. But Crowley? From Satan's point of view, Crowley is NOT a nobody. If we read the clues correctly, Crowley was NEVER a nobody, in fact. He was a pretty high-ranking angel before the Fall, possibly even an archangel. More to the point, Satan thinks Crowley is his top agent. He's the demon who instigated the original sin, invented the Spanish Inquisition and started WW2. The demonic genius behind the M25.

The demon who was SUPPOSED to deliver the antichrist on Earth.

Crowley did not just turn traitor on Hell, but on SATAN personally.

So it would make sense for Satan to take a personal interest in return.

Everything that follows just makes so much sense if Satan is impersonating the Metatron. He wants the launching of Armageddon 2.0 AND revenge on Crowley. So he arranges to use Aziraphale to do both. He takes him away from Crowley - and makes Aziraphale break his heart in the process.

I've seen people go about the coffee scene, arguing the coffee was spiked. I think that if any 'miracle' was performed at that fateful moment, it was to push Nina and Maggie to have that conversation with Crowley. So that Crowley would finally open himself up and confess to Aziraphale - only to be rejected in the most heartbreaking way possible by Aziraphale, who's been dazzled by the idea of running Heavens along with his best friend as angels.

I've also seen people comment on how manipulative and cunning the Metatron was to 'orchestrate' the break up - and he was, no doubt about it. But how would the Metatron, as an angel, know how insulting and impossible a proposition that would be for Crowley? He'd have to be a fucking mastermind on top of being a master manipulator - two things he certainly didn't seem to be in s01. No, I'm sorry, but an angel would just assume a demon would WANT to come back into the fold. Only a demon would know better. And only a demon would go about breaking them up so cunningly.

And here's the good bit: the Metatron only turns up AFTER the Hell delegation has gone to report Beelzebub's treason to their master. Not before or during, but AFTER.

And what is one of the first thing he does when he walks into the bookshop? He asks Crowley if he recognizes him, of course. He doesn't ask because Crowley used to be a high-ranking angel - he asks because Crowley is a demon, and if he can fool Crowley, then he can fool anyone, can he?

And that leads us to the elevator scene. Notice how fast Metatron pushes the 'Heavens' button as soon as Aziraphale sets foot in? Notice the calculative looks he gives him from the corner of his eyes? They make perfect sense if Aziraphale just fell into a particularly devious and intricate trap - setting himself up as both an hostage and a tool for Satan to further extract revenge on Crowley and start Armageddon 2.0.

Oh, while ALSO providing Satan with his 'ride' to infiltrate Heavens, of course. Demons can't use the elevator without an escort, remember?

It all makes so much damned sense - and it scares the shit out of me for s03.

[sarahthecoat]

rb again because there is such good discussion in the notes, and on re reading i twigged on something with gabriel's eyes. i hope it's not going off on a tangent to wonder if there's a reason "jim" has normal human eyes, but they turn violet when he's speaking in another's voice, the same color they were all through s1.

also i really really hope muriel is back in s3 to fulfill their scrivener role, as the accurate memory keeper. that would be so awesome. i want more of muriel, and i want that actor too, they are a delight, as much as maggie and nina, and all the whickber st folks.

Thank you so much for all your wonderful metas - I enjoy them a great deal. I hope I am not going over old ground here, but I have just finished your defence of Aziraphale's choice (which I agree with 100%) and it has prompted me to ask your opinion of the following:

Having witnessed the Metatron impose upon Aziraphale's good will and impeccable manners and endless sense of obligation with a sodding coffee, WHY did Crowley allow the angel to leave with this wily, manipulative being?

Now, admittedly, Crowley did get to his feet and follow them briefly (after being on the receiving end of that terrifyingly pointed glare from the Metatron) but is immediately distracted by Muriel and thoughts of breakfast with Aziraphale.

This is the same demon who is never still. Always wary, always on guard, always patrolling. Yet, after that ridiculous coffee conversation, after Aziraphale looks to him for direction ("Ummm.."), after that glare, he just waves the angel off on his way for a chinwag.

I actually wrote the scene out so that I could "see" it differently, but it did not help me come to any conclusions.

I would LOVE to know what you think.

Sorry. I wittered on a bit there. 😊

Hi @vernajarrett 💕 Thanks for reading & asking! I'm happy to chat about what I think is going on in the moment Crowley acts like a pod person and Derek Jacobi's character gets all that Big Damn Villain Music in the score. I've got the coffee brewing. Oat milk and a dash hefty jigger of almond syrup? 😜

To answer why Crowley is acting so massively weird during the part of 2.06 that you mentioned, we have to start a little before it with the arrival of the last visitor to the bookshop in S2:

a character played by Derek Jacobi:

When the last new character to arrive at the bookshop door in S2 first arrives, we are down to six other characters in the shop. Five of them-- Aziraphale, Muriel, Michael, Uriel and Saraqael-- are angels and the sixth character-- Crowley-- is a demon. Upon the arrival of Derek Jacobi's character, all five of the angels fail to recognize this person. This is a true shock to us because we think we know who this is, right? That's The Metatron.

We know what The Metatron looks like; we've seen his head quite dramatically huge and in our face on several occasions. We feel qualified to say that if Sir Derek Jacobi shows up it must mean that we're looking at The Metatron. What we tend to ignore is... well, everything else that happens here lol... all of which says we are incorrect about this.

First off? All of this is just (entertainingly) weird: The Metatron is a floating head who thinks himself above humanity but he's here now in a body on Whickber Street. He abhors food but he's stopped to get a coffee at the shop and have a chat with Nina. We first spotted him outside by Mrs. Sandwich in line-- is there a more incongruous place you would expect to see The Metatron than that? lol. It makes it very engaging to watch but these are also the first clues to suggest that something really odd is afoot here and when this character goes inside the bookshop, we really get that sense hammered home by the fact that this being we thought we had correctly identified really easily is unrecognizable-- to not one, not two, but five characters on our show, all of whom should instantly know exactly who this person is.

It's at this point that I'll mention that we technically still do not know who plays Satan on Good Omens. The first time he appears, he possesses Crowley by speaking to him using the voice of Freddie Mercury-- so, Satan is being played by a voice actor doing Satan-as-Freddie-Mercury. The second time he appears-- in 1.06-- he there for Adam, who is eleven years old at the time. Satan appears as a gigantic, cartoonish, cliched-red-with-horns-and-hoofs monster, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch. It is completely at odds with how GO usually does its more horrific and frightening elements. You could argue that Satan appears this way in 1.06 because it's how he would appear to Adam-- to an eleven year old boy. Everyone sees Satan as Adam sees Satan when Satan comes for Adam. A parallel to that would then be the arrival of the character played by Derek Jacobi in 2.06.

Why can't these five angels identify the person who just arrived?

It has to be because they're angels. It's the only thing Aziraphale, Michael, Uriel, Muriel and Saraqael all have in common.

They can't recognize the being at the door because they're angels; meaning: they're not familiars of The Devil.

This is not The Metatron. This is Satan:

You might notice that one of the angels-- Saraqael-- eventually catches on. What they do is another huge clue to who this is. If Saraqael's realization was that this must be The Metatron, they would have spoken up and said that they recognized him, if only to suck up to the boss. But they do not so that is not their realization...

Instead, they don't say a word. They look afraid, look Up, fold their hands together and start to pray. Since this being is obviously one of them and not human-- based on what he said to Michael upon his arrival-- Saraqael has figured out that if they, Michael, Uriel, Muriel and Aziraphale all cannot recognize him, it has to be because this is Satan.

Saraqael doesn't tell anyone else what they've figured out. They just start praying in case it's their number that's up today. The irony of all of this, of course, is that three of these angels who can't recognize the face of evil-- Michael, Uriel and Saraqael-- are honestly pretty garbage people themselves and also that there's not much of a difference in level of evil between The Metatron and Satan. But, technically, Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are angels, just as Muriel and Aziraphale are angels. All it really means in this case, though, is that they've never been thrown to Hell and, because of that fact, they cannot recognize Satan. (It also helps to illustrate how being cast to Hell is political and doesn't really have much to do with whether or not you're a terrible person. It's just who has gotten caught while getting in The Metatron's way.)

Demons can recognize Satan, though. The problem is that they also can be possessed by Satan and influenced into not even knowing he's there... which is what starts happening to Crowley upon the arrival of Satan in the bookshop.

Satan can make Crowley's words sound natural and of Crowley's own volition-- and then make it so that Crowley doesn't even remember saying them. This is why Crowley is acting weird when "The Metatron" is in the same room with him in 2.06.

We've seen something like this a bit when Crowley put Sister Mary in a trance so he and Aziraphale could ask her questions back in S1. Sister Mary really looked like she was in a trance and that's because it wasn't really necessary for either Aziraphale or Crowley to instruct her to act any differently. They were the only other ones around and they weren't manipulating Sister Mary's behavior in an attempt to use her to influence other people-- they were only seeking information from her. How she acted when giving them that information wasn't something they were terribly concerned with because it didn't really matter.

When they had all the information they thought she possessed, Aziraphale brought her out of the trance by telling her that she was now awake and had just had a dream of whatever she liked best. As he and Crowley are walking away, we see Sister Mary seem like she just woke up a bit from actual sleep and she looks calm and refreshed-- like she really did just have a dream of whatever she likes best.

In that moment, Sister Mary is unconcerned with the fact that such a thought is completely incongruous with the fact that she is standing, dressed in work clothes, in the hallway of her workplace. She does not remember the two people who were just there asking her questions or what they asked her. She believes she was dreaming because that is what Aziraphale told her to believe had happened.

The point is that while Sister Mary didn't know she had been influenced like this and could not remember what had happened while she was being influenced, the effects of it remained a little afterwards, as she continued to believe what it was she was told while under the influence. Aziraphale's instructions to her were comparatively pretty innocent-- he told her she had a great dream so she continued to believe that to be true. Satan in 2.06, on the other hand, is not telling Crowley that he just had a dream of whatever he likes best.

Satan possesses Crowley from the start of the scene, accounting for Crowley's quiet and stillness in the early moments of it. He not only tells Crowley to identify him as The Metatron to Aziraphale and the other angels but he makes Crowley believe that he is The Metatron for real. He tells him to make it sound natural when he tells the angels who he is so that they will believe it. That's why Crowley doesn't sound like he's in a trance, the way that Sister Mary did in S1.

I want to throw in here something else, too, that's kind of a foreshadowing/paralleling scene to this as well that comes a couple of episodes prior to this one we're talking about and that is... whatever the fuck exactly was happening to Gabriel in the "tempest" scene.

For the record, I do not believe that it was Satan possessing Gabriel in that scene. I actually think it's some witch-related stuff--I swear the voice speaking with him is Anathema-- but I bring it up even though we don't know what this is totally all about yet because it has some paralleling things that we can already see are relevant.

First off? Where Gabriel is when this happens:

He's sitting in Aziraphale's desk chair. I'm not trying to say the chair itself is spooky (though it is as a result of all of this? lol) so much as I'm saying that both Gabriel and Crowley acting weird and taken over while sitting in Aziraphale's desk chair (which is very much symbolizing Aziraphale) is one of the many things reinforcing that Aziraphale is falling because here are these two characters who parallel him the most-- the two, other most important characters in the show, arguably, and the two also living in the bookshop in S2-- and they're both falling victim to darkness while sitting in his chair.

But what I really want to point out here is what happens to Jim after his possession. Watch Gabriel's eyes at the end here:

There are a few seconds more as well in the show when his eyes resettle on Crowley. Gabriel disappears entirely while he's being possessed. He is speaking words that Crowley can hear and that Crowley recognizes as coming from Gabriel's voice... but when Gabriel blinks back into the room and looks at Crowley, he has no idea what just happened.

He doesn't remember what he just said. He isn't aware of the fact that someone was just possessing him. He feels a little disoriented and anxious-- which is also sort of Jim's default state in S2-- but what we and Crowley witnessed him saying? He has no idea about that. Shax shows up outside the bookshop and causes a distraction that keeps us and Crowley and Gabriel from sorting all of this out until S3 but Gabriel's expressions on the other side of his possession indicate that he has no idea where he just was mentally, what he just said or did, or that someone was in his mind. This is another scene emphasizing this aspect of possession on Good Omens-- no matter who is doing the possessing. The exact same effects of possession is what is happening to Crowley in 2.06.

So, Satan uses Crowley to identify him to the others as The Metatron and makes him believe that he is The Metatron to cover up the fact that he's been in his mind. Crowley has no idea that Satan has been in the bookshop. The moment this becomes clear, though, is the first one you mentioned in your ask, which is when Crowley really confirms for us exactly who Derek Jacobi is playing by doing something so wildly out of character that it's almost impossible to justify without considering the idea that he's being possessed:

encouraging Aziraphale to go somewhere alone with who he believes to be The Metatron.

Next time you're watching this scene-- and GO, in general-- look for where the music stops altogether. There are moments in GO when the score just ceases to exist entirely for a period of time so that we can hear the words that are being said without any distractions. I've found that scenes where this is happening are usually pretty pivotal, either from a wordplay perspective or a plot perspective or, often, both. There is basically no music in the whole scene in which "The Metatron" appears to have arrived at the bookshop.

The score disappears upon "The Metatron's" arrival and it only returns with that big bit of organ-y "DUN DUN DUNNN" villain music right at a pivotal point in the scene you're talking about:

The music comes back at exactly the moment that the camera holds on "The Metatron" as he is staring at Crowley. Why here?

They really, really want you to notice this glare that this person played by Derek Jacobi is leveling at Crowley. We already don't trust this character if he is The Metatron and he's been nothing but a dick since he arrived, really-- he used "demon" to refer to Crowley, he called Muriel "dim" (he can rot for that alone), and he was a total prick to Michael and Uriel. As awful as they are, no one should be spoken to like that. No one-- including most of the audience-- sees this as being extra-villain-y because this is just how The Metatron is so it's expected behavior from who we might think this character is.

So, to show us who this really is, they can't just rely on us noticing that he's in a dark coat and tie (why is he in Hell colors?!) or that he brought along a temptation coffee or that he uses language from Mary Poppins ("spit spot") when speaking to the angels. All those are clues, for sure, but the moment the music comes back is when the show is trying to give us the biggest of the clues to who this really is-- when the scene is structured to show us that he is attacking Crowley.

Because this isn't actually The Metatron glaring at Crowley; it is Satan giving Crowley instructions to stay put.

It's why Crowley doesn't follow them afterwards and continues to believe that The Metatron was who was in the bookshop-- even as Aziraphale has figured out who it really is. Look at Aziraphale's response here and you'll see that this is one of the scenes that suggests he is pretty damn sure this is not The Metatron:

Aziraphale's head whips over to "The Metatron" in response to what Crowley said because he knows what the only explanation for that response out of Crowley is. If you are looking at "The Metatron" while Aziraphale is still turning his head, you can see that he's still staring at Crowley because he was instructing him to tell Aziraphale to go and to not come with them. Satan pastes on a fake as fuck smile when Aziraphale looks at him but it's actually too late-- Aziraphale already knows what's going on. He just doesn't want Satan to know he knows.

Aziraphale knows that there's no way in the universe that Crowley-- who was so worried about danger yesterday that he escorted him to, like, Arnold's Music Shop and Mrs. Cheng's restaurant lol-- would ever just chill in the desk chair while Aziraphale went somewhere alone with The Metatron.

Ever.

The Big Damn Villain Music shows up after "The Metatron"'s fake smile to Aziraphale. It is in the exact moment that he looks at Crowley again and finishes the instructions he was giving before Aziraphale turned his head. It's because this is one of the biggest clues to this character's identity-- who can do this to Crowley? Satan.

Based on the scenes that follow, Satan here is telling Crowley something like:

You will not follow us. He will be back soon. Everything is fine. I was never here; I am The Metatron. Aziraphale is not in any danger. Stay where you are.

This scene-- the one highlighted by the music-- where Satan is silently giving Crowley directions is the one most like the time we see Satan possess Crowley in 1.01. It has a similar effect for a moment, which is probably why the music kicks in here as it's the best way to remind the audience of who can do this to Crowley and how.

In that 1.01 moment, there was no one else around and Satan was not possessing Crowley for the purposes of having him speak to influence someone else's behavior. Since he did not need Crowley to speak in the scene, Crowley does not. He is silent and still while Satan speaks in his mind and gives him instructions. We see that Satan can take such full control over Crowley that Crowley is trapped within himself. He can't speak, he can't scream, he can't move-- so, he can't drive the car and his connection to the car is shattered to a point that The Bentley is almost in a head-on collision with a truck. This is our introduction to the level of possession that Satan has over him-- all contrasted with the fact that Crowley is supposed to be on a date with Aziraphale in the sushi restaurant. This is all coming back around in 2.06.

Its return is also foreshadowed by this Shax bit during the bookshop attack... Crowley missing when he's supposed to be safe with Aziraphale and Aziraphale worried that Satan has Crowley because the demons are circling and Shax... who exists to get inside people's heads a bit... as if echoing Aziraphale's thoughts, says:

Shall we send up the sushi?

After all... do we really think that a season that spent all that time on whether or not actual demons (representing a person's inner demons) were going to be able to get into the bookshop (symbolically, Aziraphale, and Crowley & Aziraphale) is going to let those demons into the bookshop and then just... decide Satan is on vacation for the week? Or do we think that it's not coincidental that the offer Aziraphale is presented with also happens to be the one thing in the entire Universe that could ever tempt him to Hell?

Hmm... 😉

Anyway, back for a moment to the scene in 2.06 when Satan influences Crowley into staying behind and telling Aziraphale to go with "The Metatron"... The undersung thing in this scene, imho, is Aziraphale's reaction.

If Aziraphale really believed this to be The Metatron with 100% certainty, he could have responded to what Satan just made Crowley say by pressing this idea of them going for "The Metatron's" proposed stroll. He could have said aloud to Crowley: "why don't you come with us?" or he could have told The Metatron that he didn't want to go for a walk and why didn't they just sit here in the bookshop instead and anything The Metatron wanted to say to him, he could say to him and Crowley together? If Aziraphale really completely believed that this was The Metatron, he could have-- and would have-- tried either of those things or something like them in response to what Satan made Crowley say.

Instead, what does Aziraphale do?

He *immediately* starts for the bookshop door. Why?

Because he knows that Crowley is not speaking of his own free will and that the person he identified as The Metatron is, in all likelihood, actually Satan. Aziraphale immediately starts for the door because Satan will have to follow him out, since he was the one who proposed this stroll. Aziraphale abandons the idea of Crowley coming with them when he sees that Crowley is being harmed. Instead, he goes alone with Satan, immediately luring him out of the shop so as to get him away from Crowley.

He leaves the bookshop with Satan to protect Crowley. It also foreshadows the fact that he's going to fall over a temptation that is related to Crowley's safety.

Look at how Aziraphale looks back to make sure that Satan is following him and quickly... how nervous and shaky he looks. He would be nervous if this were The Metatron, sure, yes, absolutely. In this moment, though, he's just living one of his worst nightmares-- the bookshop that he built that protects Crowley has been overrun and Crowley has been harmed right there in front of him.

This is their house. It's their living room, where Crowley's lounged for thousands of nights. Crowley is in Aziraphale's own desk chair. This is supposed to be the place where they both feel safe but now there is no safe space so Aziraphale is doing the best he can in the moment by just responding intuitively and protectively by saying with his actions: Get away from him. Follow me. You can have me. Leave him alone.

So, they go out, right? What happens next but the other scene you mentioned in your ask: Crowley and Muriel.

Crowley gets up out of the chair basically the second Satan and Aziraphale are no longer in the shop because Satan's hold on him in that moment is gone and he probably unconsciously needs to move, since Satan was literally not letting him get out of the chair. This is where the weird behavior gets even more weird-- Crowley doesn't follow them. He literally watches from within the shop through the window for a second as Aziraphale leads "The Metatron" over to Marguerite's. Why doesn't he go after them? Because Satan told him to stay in the shop. Just like with Sister Mary believing she had been dreaming, what Crowley has been influenced by Satan into doing lingers with him gone, since he was instructed by Satan to stay in the shop until Aziraphale gets back.

Crowley paces a little circle like a caged tiger, going back further *into* the bookshop-- a totally normal response to his partner going for coffee alone with a murderous psychopath. He mutters to himself:

"They'll be back soon."

WHAT. THE...? How is there anybody who thinks this behavior is normal at this point?

Crowley turns around and Muriel is there. He jumps a bit, having forgotten they were still in the shop. So did the audience, honestly. This may or may not be significant in S3. Muriel being there in the background, blending into the walls during this scene also means that Muriel is now maybe the only character who could actually tell Crowley what happened during the scenes we have been talking about here because he doesn't remember anything involving what he said.

If you were to ask Crowley at any point from the time "The Metatron" and Aziraphale leave the shop on in S2 who identified "The Metatron", he couldn't tell you. If you were to tell him he told Aziraphale to go with "The Metatron", he would not remember doing that. He has as much memory of the words he spoke in the scene with "The Metatron" as Gabriel does of his "there will come a tempest" moment-- which is to say, none.

Crowley knows that Aziraphale has gone with The Metatron and that they will be back soon. He doesn't know how that came to pass and he has been rendered by Satan incapable of leaving the shop or considering the idea that he should follow them.

If the being at the door is Satan and if Aziraphale's fall is where we left the end of 2.06, Aziraphale could lose his memory, at least for a time, which means that the only character who was a reliable witness to Satan influencing Crowley in this scene is Muriel. One purpose of having them in the shop during these moments from a writing standpoint-- as opposed to sending them over to Nina's coffee shop earlier-- might be to set up a character in S3 who can tell Crowley what it was that actually happened here. (Lucky Muriel lol.)

As you pointed out, Crowley starts speaking to Muriel casually, as if nothing is going wrong. He tells Muriel that they should leave the shop, too, and Muriel says:

The Metatron-- really: Satan-- did tell Muriel to wait in the shop but he did so just by pretending to be The Metatron. While there's no possession there with Muriel, Muriel's line to Crowley is also emphasizing what actually just happened to Crowley himself to the audience. "The Metatron" has told them both to wait in the shop-- so, they are waiting in the shop. They're both following directions they've been influenced in different ways to follow. By Muriel saying that they've been told to wait-- even if they were told in a different way than Crowley was-- it suggests that following a directive is also the reason why Crowley himself is still in the shop.

Crowley's response to Muriel, though, makes him sound like he's back to himself-- and, in several ways, he is. He is remaining in the shop because of the influence but he is not currently under an active influence so he can say what it is that he chooses to say. When he's a little sarcastic with Muriel, it sounds like his normal speech because it is. What he doesn't understand is that he's been influenced to do the same thing Muriel has been-- to wait there in the shop-- just against his will, as opposed to Muriel's conscious decision to follow the directive.

Here's where we have to consider Crowley's audience when we talk about what he says next. Crowley likes Muriel; of all the angels not named Aziraphale that he's met, Muriel's definitely top of the list. That said... Muriel is still an angel who is desperate to please The Metatron, as they just proved to him again in this scene by being excited to have been singled out to assist who they believe to be The Metatron. Muriel whole thing is that they're an Inspector Constable; they are literally the (supernatural) police and Crowley wisely doesn't trust the police.

Crowley has no doubt that, after Muriel does leave the shop, that they'd tell The Metatron anything he said. Crowley actually does believe that Aziraphale is in big trouble because he doesn't trust The Metatron-- he's just been rendered incapable of realizing that he's staying in the bookshop because he's been instructed to do so by Satan, who is really the person with Aziraphale in that moment. As a result, Crowley's mind has jumped to a plan for when Aziraphale comes back from coffee with whom Crowley believes is The Metatron.

Crowley has no doubt that Aziraphale will come back because he's been influenced to believe this to be true, which is why he keeps saying "they will be back soon" and "when Aziraphale does come back", instead of being terrified that Aziraphale will not come back at all, which is what he normally would have been if Aziraphale were alone with The Metatron. It is, in this case, going to be true that Aziraphale returns because that is part of Satan's plan and one of the reasons why he influenced Crowley into believing so.

So, anyway, Crowley thinks the big threat is The Metatron potentially erasing Aziraphale into non-existence by deleting him from The Book of Life. This isn't actually a thing, as Crowley told Beez back early on in the season, but Beez, being horrified to realize that they might have been manipulated by something they themselves and Crowley made up ages ago, doubled down out of embarrassment on it being real and led Crowley to believe in its existence as a result. Crowley has spent the season terrified that Aziraphale is going to be made to have never existed. The plan he's cooking up to save Aziraphale from that fate-- which is what he thinks is going on-- is not one he wants to share with the police. It's not one he's going to say aloud in front of Muriel because that might as well be saying it to The Metatron, as far as Crowley is concerned. We won't actually hear Crowley's plan until he delivers it to Aziraphale in coded speech in The Disaster Kiss Scene and by that point, everything is going, um, really, really badly.

(It's the reason why there's no music in that moment so you can literally hear the words echo around the room when Crowley starts in on it and basically shouts the "THIS PLANET" part at Aziraphale but that's straying from the scenes you asked about so *focuses* 😊)

So, Crowley instead says what he'd really, truly, honestly love to be doing for the rest of the morning and he does so in the way that he and Aziraphale do when someone who doesn't speak their language is around and annoying them-- he says it in Ineffable Husbands Speak to amuse himself and, probably, to amuse Aziraphale, whom he plans on telling later. (He'll do this again a few minutes later, when Maggie is ticking him off by saying he and Aziraphale don't talk.)

Crowley says:

Does Crowley want a little Us Time with Aziraphale when he comes back? Does he want to go with him to have an extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz? (Ineffable Husbands Speak for boozy brunch and sex after too long without it?) Yes. Eventually. But he knows there's very dangerous trouble to be dealt with first.

Crowley says that because he wants Muriel to think that he is just preoccupied with thoughts of Aziraphale and breakfast-- because that's what he wants The Metatron to think and he knows Muriel will tell The Metatron what it is that he said.

Crowley wants The Metatron to think he doesn't have a plan.

But, really, when we have known Crowley to not have a plan? 😊

The problem is that it's a plan for the wrong scenario.

It's not The Book of Life that's happening; it's Aziraphale's fall.

It's not The Metatron at the door; it's Satan.

This is almost the entire communication mess of That Disaster Kiss Scene. They're being watched and whatever the fuck happened to Crowley, he can't see that freezing time to speak openly is an option so he and Aziraphale are boxed into trying to each convey what they think is happening and their plans to stop it using their cant vocabulary.

The ironic thing is that while they-- like the audience lol-- have two different ideas of who the being watching them is and what the threat is as a result, they actually both have almost exactly the same plan... with one, key, very romantic difference.

But that's another meta. 😜

In the meantime, I'll just leave you with a reminder of what "The Metatron" said in a moment when Crowley was still in the room:

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Maybe a wild off-base theory but what if the GO God didn't exist? That could be some beautiful commentary.

I just thought of how Aziraphale has referred to God as she/her (in the show anyway) and how Crowley has referred to God as they/them, and how that would actually align to my personal HC that God appears differently to everyone based on their perception of her/them/him/the world at large.

Then I thought of my own perspective on the actual character of God in our society, as someone who is atheistic/agnostic, and how this figure was created and how religion in general means such different things to different people and how this drives people's behaviors despite maybe not even being true. And then I thought about how the Metatron is like, supposedly the voice of God, but then supposedly so are certain humans like alleged prophets and also people who own private jets and shit while other human beings starve on the streets. Like, what if the Voice of God we hear in S1 was just an imagined personality (by Adam, who in the books quickly knows everything about Crowley and Aziraphale?) narrating the general POV?

Like that would just speak a lot to the characters acting completely of their own motivation, but disguising it through a character that doesn't even exist, and using that to collectively justify whatever awful actions they already wanted to take. Which (from my perspective) just mirrors humans so beautifully (beautifully as in "beautiful and terrible as the morning and night").

HOWEVER -- we do see literal Satan appear in GOS1. And we appear to see God speak to Job in GOS2. And I don't think there's really enough time to make "God isn't real" a meaningful plot in GOS3, so that's probably not a thing.

But I have always thought and still think that whatever Heaven is doing has a strong possibility of being divorced from whatever God actually wanted. Or maybe She just put all the pieces into place and let them go at it to see what would happen. Or maybe God really did command most of the death and destruction and mayhem against the human race and is supposed to be an awful character, IDK. 🤷‍♀️

But that was a fun thought experiment in free will and self-determination.

[another-lost-mc]

I've been calling Metatron (your oc) Mettaton after the undertale robot and I just realized HAHA how would he feel about that??? would he be the kind to have a crush on the skeleton?!!?! HAHA

Oh, that's fun! I haven't played Undertale (oops) but I've read a lot of fanfiction for that fandom. I have like, nineteen Mettaton x Reader fics in my ao3 bookmarks.

Anyway!

Metatron's the type that will read basically anything because he's curious about the world and everything in it. He also has an excellent memory for details. I feel like Metatron and Levi/Satan would have the most nerdy, amazing conversations. It'd be great for Levi especially because Meta wouldn't judge his interests (anime/manga/games) as being weird or nerdy or stupid and I think Levi needs more people like that in his life.

As for the skeleton crush thing - well, I picture most of the demons (and angels to some degree) being a bit flexible when it comes to who or what they're attracted to. There are demons that are a little more animalistic, and then there are the various monster races that live in the Devildom (and maybe hide out in the human realm too). I think most reapers wear humanoid disguises to blend in but are actually a type of void creature.

So...yes, I think Meta would be one of the open-minded angels when it comes to little crushes and maybe a fling here or there. Like, can you imagine him meeting a vampire or a siren or something, and he's just so genuinely fascinated and curious, and his expressions are so animated, that it's difficult not to be flustered and a bit awestruck by him. (He's a bit clueless and might not realize that, though.)

[jackalopesao3]

🪼 Michael 🪼

Remember my theory on Michael/Celestial Realm being the antagonist(s)?

About Michael’s goal being to find a way to get the brothers back to the CR?

Here are the links to my previous theories:

Well I’ll be damned! Lesson 17 dropped a bombshell that puts some credence to these theories. Spoilers/screens below the cut!

Michael, you…you fucking jellyfish!

I highly suspect Michael is behind MC’s trip to the past. I’ve theorized before that even if he is not NB, he could have called upon Solomon to use his pact with Barbatos or Michael could have even done it himself since he does have some time travel capabilities.

The only reason I think maybe he made Solomon do something is because he did give him the Ring of Wisdom. He likely can utilize whatever agreement he has with Sol to make Sol do something like that. In religious texts, when Solomon pissed Abrahamic God off, Michael allowed Solomon to lose his ring and let Asmodeus yeet him to the ocean. Solomon likely wouldn’t deny a request from Michael after that happened given his dislike of the ocean.

There’s also a possibility that Michael is simply aware of the timeline getting skewed and is taking advantage or that he was planning this in the OG timeline so now he has a better opportunity.

So Yandere!Michael? “If I can’t have the brothers back, no one can have them!” Because that is yandere behavior right there. Though let’s be real, he probably just wants Lucifer back. We all know about his creepy Lucifer shrine.

Let me bring up some facts that lead me to believe Michael could be NB:

1. Nightbringer is preceded by the sound of trumpets. Trumpets are associated with angels, not demons.

2. Nightbringer accepted the human’s offer to pray to him in return for helping them. Demons do pacts. Humans are more likely to pray to angels. Humans have prayed to Michael for protection.

3. Michael goes by a few different names in some transcripts. Metatron is one which is similar to the Lucifer/Satan debate where the names are sometimes interchangeable or they’re two separate beings.

4. Michael has an elusive way of talking which NB also has.

5. Michael sent MC back to the future when Solomon’s cooking had sent them to pre Celestial War days.

6. Michael has motive. He wants to change the past to get the brothers back.

7. MC yells at NB to show themselves. MC doesn’t recognize their voice. MC has only spoken with Michael a few times so they prob wouldn’t recognize his voice. (NB could disguise their voice so take this one as you see fit.)

8. If this truly is the past, why is Michael suddenly doing things differently? What changed the timeline that could make him act this way…probably nothing unless he is fully aware of the timeline change or caused it himself.

There are other reasons too and I do have a table made up with characters and tallies for possible NB identities and Michael was one of the top contenders. If I can find a way to screen it and upload it via mobile I will post it soon.

I may also add to this post later because wow. That bombshell. I had a feeling but at the same time I’m still shook Solmare went with it.

[sassysnakedemon]

There was a post a while ago that explained a thought that the Metatron we see in S2 might actually be Satan, and not the original Metatron. The poster showed us that none of the angels recognized the Metatron, and they should - even in human corporation, they'd sense his angelic nature. But Crowley recognizes him (although the Metatron shoots him an extremely pointed look right before Crowley says anything), and says his name to the angels.

The poster suggested that Satan was mind controlling Crowley (as it's been shown he can do in S1), and made sure that Crowley would behave exactly as needed to complete the subterfuge.

It's an interesting theory, and would make it completely okay to hate the Metatron - you'd be hating Satan instead in this case.

[p0is0ned-peach]

who’s to say Crowley wasn’t the original Voice of God and the Metatron was jealous and pulled some strings to convince the Almighty that Crowley should fall with Lucifer? (Lucifer was jealous of Jesus after all so it wouldn’t be the first time envy wormed it’s way into an angel of high standing)

I think we’re all in agreement that Crowley was much higher up in the hierarchy of angels than we originally thought. He’s got a high level of clearance and literally jumpstarted the universe. I don’t think God would let just anyone do that. Crowley was also the first one to recognize the Metatron when he walked into the bookshop at the end of season 2, the archangels didn’t even recognize him. And the Metatron doesn’t really disguise his distaste for Crowley really, his looks and attitude toward him being very cold.

I think there’s more to it than Crowley just being one of the seraphim. Crowley, as a demon, does do most of the things that people largely associate with Satan himself. (i.e. the apple in the Garden and showing Jesus the kingdoms of the world)

Idk, food for thought.

[thegardenandthegrave]

Aziraphale should have Fallen after the Job debacle.

No, listen. Listen.

Aziraphale has lied before, directly to God no less. Yet, it wasn't until Job that Aziraphale himself believed that he was going to Fall.

I think the difference is that what God allowed to befall Job caused Aziraphale to question the ineffable plan for the first time.

Not only that, he lied to cover up a demon's failure to follow through on killing Job's children AND he fell for said demon's temptation to consume food.

If God is all knowing, then hiding his sins would not have done any good.

Except, God had just gotten done berating Job for questioning her.

And wasn't the wager between God and Satan that Job would remain faithful despite the misery rained down upon him?

If it were my wager, I would take Job questioning God as God technically losing the wager.

But how does this connect to Aziraphale not Falling when he should have?

Well, I'm about to put on a nice tinfoil hat so stay with me here.

Because iirc, the Job debacle is the last time we see God speaking directly to anyone.

(unless you count the season 1 voiceover, which I don't for reasons below)

After that, we've got Metatron acting as an intermediary and 'voice of God'. Metatron is the one Aziraphale reaches when he specifically calls God. And Aziraphale is both confused and surprised by this intermediary

Now, if I were the original demon who had designs on taking God's throne/power/ect I would probably include some sneaky wording in that wager over Job, somehow use winning that wager to gain access to Heaven's demotion/promotion system, and erase/demote God as far down as I could.

You know what I wouldn't do?

Let anyone ever know that God was demoted/lost memories.

I would ride it out, playing angels and demons against each other to destruction while pretending God is still in control.

And I would certainly enjoy sending an amnesiac God to live amongst their favorite creations, completely unaware of what she's lost, assigning her to run a book store without any help or support while I simultaneously broke up the (literal) power couple of all time

Yes, that's right. I'm saying that Metatron is Satan in disguise and that Muriel may very well be God.

EDIT: removed some of my own preconceived notions about religion in regards to metatron. My religious knowledge is not vast enough to make an educated point one way or another about Metatron's presence and representations in religious texts.

[arielavader]

Almonds in the Bible equate with God is watching.

Saraquel told Aziraphale they'd be keeping a close eye on him. Saraquel recognized the Metatron. Saraquel sent Muriel to Earth... Saraquel knew Muriel had helped Crowley. Saraquel knew Crowley on sight even in his angel disguise. Saraquel is a bit of a dark horse.

The coffee is a reminder that Aziraphale is being watched - hefty jigger of Almond syrup, eh? Makes much more sense how he acts when he goes back to Crowley after his chat with the Metatron. He looks out the window, puts on a ridiculously fake smile. When Crowley starts talking he tries to tell him with gestures to keep it down and finally interupts him.

Aziraphale is protecting Crowley, the conversation with Metatron went differently than related, but there is some truth in it as well and I think it's having to do with Heaven's plans. Aziraphale has to know what they are and the best way to do that is seeing for himself, which might be why he almost falters when the Metatron says "we call it the second coming".

All that to say, it just makes their miscommunicating even more infuriating because if they both just told each other what the fuck was actually going on....

It's sort of the opposite of when Crowley first comes to Aziraphale about Armageddon... And even a bit from the Job thing...

"We have to work together."

"Temporarily not on opposite sides"

We've seen what happens when they actually work together. They save Job's children, they create ridiculously powerful miracles, they encourage a little boy enough that he can stand up before the wrath of Satan.

But in protecting each other they lose their greatest weapon: each other.

[infernalight]

oc ideas under the cut...

character one:

Name: Arcadius (Cade)

Faceclaim: Aaron from Dear.Door

Backstory: WIP, a doctor of sorts

How'd he die: ????

Now: Sinner demon with multiple clones of himself, a doctor/scientist who studies regeneration and other things in order to help save the demons... might become an in house doctor for the hazbin hotel??

Other: covered in scars from his death ???

character two:

Name: Calyx (Cal)

Faceclaim: Jinyoung from Dear.Door

Backstory: WIP

How'd he die: hahah, he's not dead. he's human

A human who had fallen in love with a demon (worked for ozzie; stole a crystal for him, but died when ozzie found out), once gaining the ability to travel to hell / heaven without issues, this caught the attention of the angels and after confronting the human about it, he formed a contract with an angel (he'd be their messenger, keep an eye on things in hell while he got a little bit of angelic power of his own, when using his angelic power his eyes change color); he has a bit of free reign but he constantly needs to check back with them and can be possessed by the angel holding his contract if he doesn't give them what they want. he has a demon disguise.

Other: hung like a horse

character three:

Name: Zephyr?

Faceclaim: Sid from Dear.Door (pronounced Seed)

Backstory: started out as a low level demon, climbed his way to the top with help from charlie/lucifer/???? who had given some of their power to aid in his survival though to keep the power from overtaking him, he had to consume demons of the same level (tho bc he was BORN as a low level demon his body could only handle low level but in order to not be killed from the power within him, he must consume higher level demons that he couldn't end up digesting so they just clutter inside of him... (more on this LATER), but yeah.. demons in his head

How'd he die: ???

Now: ?????

Powers: LOTS OF THEM HE'S GONNA BE COOL OK FEEL FREE TO ASK ABOUT HIM

Envy or Pride

character four:

Name: Percy (Perseus)?

Faceclaim: Ben from Dear.Door

A hellhound that can create hellhounds and use them to attack??? has hellhounds as pets?? something like that, alpha???

more to come!

character five:

Name: Spike

Faceclaim: Jude Blanc from Dear.Door

Makes & deals with weapons for Carmilla (maybe they have a contract??)

Sinner demon

How he died: ???

character six:

Name: N/A

Faceclaim: Cain from Dear.Door & Satan from Dear.Door

Lustful sinner / overlord demon

has/had a piece of a weapon from hell inside of his heart that limits his power

idk man he's super sexy.. super lustful...

can split himself into both cain and satan or be as just one

the good and evil parts of lucifer split and the good parts have formed their own sentient body, being forced by the angels to stay in the human world for the time being to get stronger, strong enough to take on satan, but instead of either one of them killing the other, satan re-absorbs cain

satan has the ability to split both sides of himself apart, but doesn't do it often

when separated they are still connected some way so if satan tries to hurt someone cain loves, satan won't be able to depending on how strong his feelings are.

satan can absorb things from humans

sin of wrath

character seven:

Name: N/A

Faceclaim: Gayle from Dear.Door

ars goetia working for stolas.

helps octavia with her magic, helps stolas with everything else. bsaed on Gamigin

*possible muses to be added listed below...*

character eight:

Name: N/A

Faceclaim: Metatron from Dear.Door

scribe of god

evil

character nine:

Name: N/A

Faceclaim: Gabriel from Dear.Door

character ten:

Name: Riyon

Faceclaim: Azaniel from Dear.Door

slutty angel

[lovely-little-lass]

GUYS - i was rewatching episode six of good omens and noticed something: During the trial for Gabriel when they’re talking about him being cast out they say no because they already had to cast out one person. when the metatron is talking about this he refers to it as “One prince of darkness” cast into outer darkness. Now, if we look at the bible and paradise lost (which forms the basis of the show who is god’s favorite angel? the one who is cast out of hell for asking questions?

Lucifer MorningStar (aka satan)

That same lucifer who disguised himself as a snake and tempted eve to eat the forbidden apple! That same lucifer who set siege on Job’s farm/land/children! That same lucifer who showed christ all the nations of the world.

NOW-

the great war has been something that’s been referred to numerous times throughout the show but who is the only person to refer to themselves as having fallen? Crowley! That same crowley who tempted eve, set siege to job’s land, and showed christ the wonders of the world. Crowley is Lucifer Morningstar.

now, looking into the future: we know that heaven is getting ready for jesus pt. 2 the electric boogaloo and in the scripture it’s said that in the end days jesus will face off against the antichrist. aka satan. aka lucifer. aka crowley.

So now; Aziraphale is the high archangel of heaven. Crowley is the fated enemy of heaven

Neil Gaiman what pain do you have in order for us in season 3?

[vidavalor]

Good Omens Theories Masterpost

I'm spring cleaning up the blog a bit here and have been making a meta masterlist. As you know, Tumblr only likes so many links per post so all Good Omens theories here in this post beneath the cut. You can find additional meta related to analysis of language, characters, story and just silly stuff in the pinned post on my blog. Thanks. 💕

Theories

The Vavoom: When the show is suggesting C&A actually first kissed

On how Crowley calling Aziraphale "angel" for the first time might tie to The Flood and The Vavoom

Aziraphale's rings trick in 1941 foreshadows him collapsing Heaven

Crowley was a spy for the Allied Forces during WW2

"The coin has vanished!" foreshadowing end of S2/set up for S3

The Blitz, Part 3: Zombie Nazi Flesheaters in the bookshop theory

Hey, so... (The Blitz, Part 2 hints for The Blitz, Part 3)

Crowley, Aziraphale, Mrs. Cheng & high sensitivity

Jane Austen: Brandy Smuggler & Aziraphale's love of cognac

Great Balls of Fire

Anathema is the voice speaking w/Gabriel in the "Great Lamentations" scene

Before the Beginning and Crowley's memory

More on Crowley's memory & Heaven taking memories

Some thoughts on unicorns

Aziraphale wrote bits of Romeo & Juliet for Crowley

Does the bookshop have a hidden room?

Pedometer musings

Agnes Nutter's prophecies in S2

A look at Crowley taking Maggie & Nina out of the bookshop & what it might have to do with the missing time from the prior night

Did Aziraphale write "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square"?

On Crowley, "too late", fallen angels & heavenly rank

Crowley, Agnes and The Witchfinder Army

'The Metatron in The Final 15 of 2.06 is actually Satan' Theory Posts

Wrong Boy: How Warlock's Birthday Party in S1 sets up Satan in S2

Bodysnatching

The unauthorized, unescorted demon

"You aren't trying to trick me, are you?"

How the theory supports the theme of recognition

The Devil in Disguise

Crowley & Hastur in S1 paralleling Aziraphale & "The Metatron" in S2

"Extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz."

[the-naked-man-friend]

fic where after s2e6 crowley finds himself alone and bitter and hell finds itself looking for new management since clearly earth is around to stay, especially with Aziraphale taking charge of things. Who better to do the job than the demon who's been on earth since it all started? Crowley thinks fuck it, maybe he doesn't agree with everything hell says but at least he'll not be alone. MEANWHILE Aziraphale is lonely on heaven, and really Gabriel's job involved a whole lot more paperwork than Saving The World ™️ so was it really worth it to give up what he could've had with Crowley? He heads back to earth only to discover that Crowley's gone back to hell and is currently Very Inaccessible (As most reminders of earth serve as a reminder to Crowley of what he loved most on earth - Aziraphale). The only people who can help are Gabriel and Beelzebub. After Crowley had so easily broken into heaven just by a (not-so) clever disguise and an angel escort, security in Heaven and Hell has been increased significantly. The only way Aziraphale can get to Hell without falling and becoming a demon is by doing it the human way: Sinning and dying. While Gabriel and Beelzebub didn't leave heaven/hell on good terms, they weren't necessarily bad terms either, and both retained portions of their heavenly/hellish powers and by working together similiar to Crowley and Aziraphale had, they are able to strip Aziraphale of his ethereal status and render him human. Aziraphale kills himself (suicide is a sin after all), gets to the underworld, reconnects with past human aquaintances, but doesn't manage to secure a meeting with Crowley because you can't just come to hell in a human state and claim to be the right hand man to the metatron. Aziraphale is sent to be tortured for eternity. There's been a new approach to eternal damnation based around "individualizing and diversifying eternal torment based on the lived experiences of the damned" and Aziraphale is tortured through using what he loves most - Crowley. When your boss's image is used to torture some old guy in hell, obviously demons take note and send Crowley the news. Crowley finds Aziraphale but resurrecting a man to full personhood (never mind angelhood) is out of his paygrade. There is a bittersweet reunion - where Aziraphale is glad Crowley has come to save him, Crowley has reservations because he gave up everything for the angel, and "Forgiveness is more of your thing, angel"). Cue: Angsty discussions etc etc and after discussions with Satan and inspiration from the Greeks, Crowley is allowed to bring Aziraphale back to earth a la Orpheus and Eurydice. or idk. something like that

[gyrovagus-bibliophile]

I can only imagine the start of season 3 being Aziraphale still on the elevator and the elevator having a malfunction... falling

The Metatron disappears from Aziraphale's side a little before the falling, and that's why he's smiling at the end of the credits: He knows what he signed up for, but no one else knows he does.

Also, i have a feeling that Crowley is Eve (since he fell first) and then convinced Adam (Aziraphale) to fall aswell If The Metatron ends up being Lucifer/Satan in disguise, i'm going crazy (pls no one send this to Neil, i beg yall, i would really like this being canon -v-")

If Aziraphale's bookshop represents Eden (his and Crowley's paradise), then Metatron is the serpent, Aziraphale is Eve, the coffee is the apple, and ACCEPTING THE OFFER WAS THE FALL

[evilasiangenius]

Current writing update (untitled stories are listed by file names): 1. Mistakes 7 aka The Alexander Romance is 99% done.

I have a few chapters to edit Down to the last three chapters, set in Heaven, and then have to write the end notes (oh my god not looking forward to that, I wasn't keeping good track of references early on) and post the last few chapters. It will be 100 chapters + 1 chapter end notes. Oh crap, just remembered there are at least another one or two cut chapters/scenes to add for funsies, including one with Aziraphale and Crowley in disguise punting on the Nile in ancient Egypt. I'm afraid of checking the word count. Notes file is going to be its own novel XD

2. Crossover Wackiness aka The Last Temptation of Adam is 95% done.

It needs some editing, and I'm a bit behind right now because the Crowleys surprised me and I need to work with them. This is what happens when you have two (2) versions of Crowley in a story, inevitably they will do something surprising that requires more reflection. Part of me is surprised that this was a surprise. Not looking forward to notes section, I seem to have lost/misplaced much of the text of the reference file. 3. Mistakes 8, no title, though it's called 'sleeping beauty' as shorthand Sleeping Crowley. I posted the first chapter:

About 7000 words so far. Pretty much fully written, around 10k. Just needs some final polishing while posting. Here are the first two paragraphs of my sketch: Aziraphale who is just back from Heavenly indoctrination brainwashing runs into Crowley who is back after being punished in Hell. But Crowley is already asleep when Aziraphale finds him, out in the forest next to some rudimentary shelter and a fire. Aziraphale doesn’t want to leave him out there since the land is crawling with bandits and barbarians so he takes Crowley away and carries him to safety.

Ivy and rose-covered abandoned Roman villa, living upstairs in the ruins. Doorways blocked off for safety, windows shuttered and boarded over. They’re confined to a few rooms in the back, two downstairs and one upstairs where Crowley is sleeping. Two downstairs are a kitchen and a small servant’s bedroom, upstairs through servant’s stairwell to a storeroom that Aziraphale has converted into a bedroom for Crowley.

Weird self-indulgent nonsense after this, you've been warned. I don't even know if I should ever post any of this.

4. Mistakes 9, no title. About 8000 13000 words so far. First two paragraphs of the sketch: Satan was accidentally destroyed by Adam Young and Asmodeus has taken over Downstairs because of his proximity to power as The Voice of Satan, the Metatron equivalent Downstairs. He is hiding the fact that Satan is destroyed, because otherwise the war between Heaven and Hell would immediately restart and Heaven would win. Once he has consolidated his power Downstairs, pretending to be Satan (not long, had this plan as a possible backup for ages), he goes onto the next phase of his long term plans, getting Crowley back. Which means he spends time watching Crowley and Aziraphale and when he realizes that Crowley has essentially left Hell for Aziraphale and vice versa, he decides that to get Crowley back, he’ll steal Aziraphale.

Since Aziraphale no longer enjoys the protection of Heaven, Asmodeus will take Aziraphale from Crowley with the goal that without Aziraphale, Crowley will willingly go back to him, or Aziraphale will fall in love with him. Asmodeus is going to try to finagle it so that ideally both outcomes will happen, but either way he wants to win. However, Aziraphale figures out Asmodeus is trying to seduce him and...is trying to seduce Asmodeus (non-sexually) in return, thinking that if there’s not much he can do while being a captive of a Prince of Hell, at least he can maybe change Asmodeus for the better.

Asmodeus thinks he's being very clever here and is going to win, but he forgets that he walked into this with a handicap. 5. Reversed Rome, no title. About 24k words so far. I didn't write down a sketch because I was working on this by itself for a while so the outline was in my head, but it's about ordinary Angel Crowley and the Prince of Hell Aziraphale returning to Rome together (work orders). Immediately their relationship is on the fritz due to the interference of another shitty Prince of Hell (that guy). They part ways for about a year. Crowley ends up dating a cute pansexual patrician for a while and exploring sexual desire, which is not supposed to happen as an angel. In the meantime, Aziraphale fills his time with music lessons, learning all the top 10 most depressing Sappho songs.

And of course, there's the usual asshole hanging around in the background, causing problems...

[eirikrjs]

Random tidbits, volume 3 (下)

[Linked the first part of these the other day and realized I didn’t respond to the second. Anyway, gonna rate your fanfic. In italics.]  _________________________________________________________

The next two questions are more on the opinion/headcanon front. Or we can be honest and call this a “Rate this fanfiction premise” section.

3. Would the following narrative help justify Odin’s role in SMT4A?

Before events of SMT4 Maitreya approached Odin with an invitation to join Divine Powers and a plan to recreate the world. Odin refused. He saw that world was close to ending and for him it meant Ragnarok, something that he was prepared to meet with spear in hand even knowing that it would be his end. His brothers Vili and Ve didn’t share his outlook. In Maitreya’s suggestion they saw an opportunity to guide humans of the new world to re-conceptualize the Norse pantheon as truly immortal. They already once ruled in Odin’s absence. They could do so again, but for that Odin had to be absent. They lured him somewhere Heimdal wouldn’t spot them, “shattered” his identity, by separating his “thought” from his “memory”. Whether it was a part of the process or just to help with the disguise, each brother took one of Odin’s raven’s and assumed his identity. One set course back to Asgard to convince other Aesir to join, the other went to Maitreya to try and patch things up.

While they were occupied with that. Odin’s absence was noticed in Asgard. Nobody was really worried since everybody knew how Odin liked his excursions to Midgard, but Thor, ever the brash and impulsive one, headed out to look for him. A bit later, “Odin”-1 (disguised Vili or Ve, doesn’t matter which) returns and announces that they are joining the Divine Powers, but with the gossip of how categorically the Allfather refused Maitreya’s offer, everyone was a bit confused and suspicious of this sudden turnabout. As wise as Odin was, and as capricious as he could be, he usually wasn’t one to suddenly change his decision. Tension was rising. Aesir were getting more and more uneasy, “Odin”-1 was getting more and more forceful in his orders. Eventually it escalated to a civil war. Most Aesir vs. whatever would there be that is blindly loyal to Odin, no matter what (maybe Einherjar).

So that’s the setup. Thor finds Odin, organizes a couple of spectacular fights for him to witness that would bridge his “thought” and “memory”. Odin remembers everything, promises Flynn and the two other involved Hunters a place at Valhalla (completely sincerely), and departs for Asgard with Thor. “Odin”-2 starts acting more openly, now that Thor and Odin left Tokyo, SMT4A happens. Meanwhile, Odin and Thor reach Asgard and start dealing with “Odin”-1.

This whole story was born from two things: your article on SMT4A Odin, and (to me) baffling shortage of Norse bosses in SMT4A. If Odin from SMT4 is the same as the one in SMT4A, then Thor’s absence is glaring and confusing. Something must be off (assuming it isn’t the writing).

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This is probably WAY too complicated a (sub) scenario for SMT. One unspoken hallmark of SMT that the new games continue is that everything is seen from the protagonist’s perspective. So, you’d have to contrive a way for the protag to witness all the Asgard drama–which wouldn’t have much impact if they were told and not shown. But I do like expanding on the SMT4 Odin sidequest that’s more Norse than 4A, as you say. It’s a decent starting point for something like this.

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4. If I remember correctly, you were not fond of the justification for going after YHVH in SMT4A and of the idea that Zurvan is behind events of SMT:if… What if we combined the two scenarios?

YHVH being mostly his Judaic version works towards an apocalyptic scenario, in our hypothetical case, one that involves the end of the concept of time (I think it’s the one described in Zohar, correct me if I’m wrong). Zurvan, embodying among other things infinite time (his name with epithet Zurvan Akarana apparently means exactly that, ‘infinite time’) is not down for this direct existential threat to himself and so tries to make/find/empower a champion/Messiah/Godslayer/protagonist who (if player chooses this path) would side with Zurvan and slay YHVH… and whoever protects him… and Lucifer for thoroughness. After that we have two options.

Option 1: Zurvan takes YHVH’s place and Ahura Mazda assumes the role of Law’s top enforcer (basically takes over Merkabah/Metatron/Michael/Satan depending on the scenario).

Option 2: Ahura Mazda takes over YHVH, Zurvan returns to his preferred state of simply being a dispassionate embodiment of all space, time, matter and energy, doing sweet FA.

In both cases, Angra Mainyu takes charge of forces of Chaos.

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I’m in favor of any alternate Law gods. Zurvan, Melek Taus, even the tin can I just crushed (it was made… according to a plan) would probably be more interesting than YHVH and co. again.

In fact, don’t make it YHVH vs. Zurvan. It’ll be more interesting if it’s just Zurvan, Ahura Mazda, and Angra Mainyu. The time conflict is good, though. But like Judaism, Zoroastrianism does have a definite end of time, at least in terrestrial terms. I think Zurvan’s description of “infinite time” describes the god and not the timeline of history; the Kabbalah describes Yahweh similarly, as infinite in all things until the tzimtzum (contraction of his existence that allowed the lower existences to… exist).

So give Zurvan the Ein Sof role and Ahura Mazda as the more “comprehensible” Yahweh. Their time vs. practically anything poly as most have cyclical time. Does this improve 4A? Not sure about that but your idea is nonetheless an interesting thing to build off of!