#The JL is curious because it works on most of them

[nelkcats]

The Fenton "Boor"

The Fentons have always been famous for their legal sale of weapons, usually based on ectoplasm and used to hunt ghosts. That's where they got most of their funds, whether it was to finance new inventions, their laboratory, or their children's education.

The problem began when they found out that Phantom was their son. Because of that revelation they accepted that they couldn't continue on the "weapon creator" path, how could they continue to create and sell weapons that help hunt down their baby? Even if they didn't trust all the ghosts Danny changed their perspective of the Infinite Realms and they were more or less at peace.

That is why they debated for hours on what to do to make money again, until they noticed something curious: Most of the people in Amity couldn't get drunk. It was a silly thing to focus on, but thanks to a quick investigation they noticed that after the portal opened no one had made it.

That's the reason they created a new brand of beer "Boor", which affected both ghosts and humans contaminated with ectoplasm. Their business quickly became a success and the beer was exported elsewhere (with many care and prevention labels).

When Jason Todd noticed "Boor" on the shelf at the bar he frequented, he snorted. The beer had a small ghost on the bottle, which caught his attention, he ordered it out of curiosity and when the waiter told him that the brand claimed "the product was capable of making even the dead drunk" Jason almost laughed.

Big was his surprise the next day when he woke up on one of Gotham's rooftops with a severe hangover. He had at least 8 missed calls from Nightwing and a bottle with a cartoon ghost in his hand.

[thevoidstaredback]

Tim was curious. Maybe a little addicted to whatever the hell was in that coffee, he's still standing by the point that no other coffee will ever be enough, but that's not the point.

He wants answers. The Justice League want answers. No one has been able to get them. Because Phantom stays in the House of Mysteries, no one but the JLD can actually get time him. The Supers have tried listening out for him, but magic is something they're weak against and therefore can't hear through. Batman has tried to get into the House, but he's been sent everywhere else for his attempts. They would track him down as a civilian, but no one actually knows if he has a civilian disguise. It's very hard to hide hair that starkly white and skin pale enough to be blue.

Regardless, everyone wanted answers and Tim was determined to be the one to get them. Why does Phantom claim to be thirty-eight, fourteen, and eighteen all at the same time? Where did he come from? When did he die? How did he die? What the hell is in his coffee because damn was it good!

Off topic.

Tim had the rest of the Titans return to the tower while he stayed out. It'd be easier to track if he was the only one doing it. Besides, these guys work with Raven, they won't hurt him. Probably.

The fact that Phantom apparently smelled like death was another concern Tim had. Was it because he was dead? And what did Constantine mean that 'the smell lingers'?

More questions kept popping up like goddamn daisies, and there was no answers to clip them down. Tim was getting frustrated, to say the least.

***

Danny made an effort to at least try and help Constantine with the demon problem the building was having. Honestly, it wasn't even that bad, in Danny's humble opinion. The demon was just messing with people, not hurting anyone or stealing anything! He was, at most, planting minor inconveniences everywhere.

That's not technically his monkey, though, and it was most definitely not his circus. He figured he'd offer to be helpful, though, if only so that Constantine would owe him a favor. A favor he already knows how he's going to cash in.

"Why'd you really want to tag along?" Constantine asked Danny while they searched for the demon.

"What do you mean? You offered to bring me along."

"Yeah, but that's because you need to get out of the House more."

"Funny, coming from you."

"I spend more time outside of the House than I do inside." the Brit scoffed, "Now tell me why you agreed to come along. This is demon hunting. You only ever go ghost hunting."

Danny sighed and ran his left hand through his hair. Not that he could feel it, stupid nerve damage. "Deadman's been on my ass about my first trip to Gotham. I would've left to go find some place to crash, but the entire Justice League is also on my ass for some reason! I'd honestly rather not have to face any of them."

"You've been to Gotham?" Constantine asked, "When?"

Danny groaned, "Not you, too!"

"Whoa, okay, okay. You don't need to share with the class."

"Sorry."

"You better be."

"Hey!"

"Now tell my why the JL proper are after you?"

A sigh. "You remember at that meeting when Red Robin mistook my drink for his?"

"Yeah. Hard to forget. You freaked everyone out a little bit."

"Yeah. Turns out they all have questions that I don't want to answer. Avoiding them all has been the best way to not answer."

"You know you can't dodge them all forever."

"I know, but I really don't want to have to explain anything!" he whined, "The questions that they'll end up asking are gonna be really painful to answer."

A raised eyebrow. "How do you know what they'll ask?"

"Because everyone always asks the same things. Worded differently, but still that same."

"Then refuse to answer."

Danny met Constantine's eyes with a deadpan glare. "You're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that the Justice League and their sidekicks will leave me alone if I tell them 'no'?" He shook his head. "Lying's a bad habit, old man."

Constantine rolled his eyes as he went for his lighter, remembering they were were in a no smoke zone and retracting his hand. "Don't sass me, brat. Wonder Woman and Superman, at the very least, would back off. They'd get everyone else to, too."

"What about Batman and his brood?"

"Touche." the man said, "But you can't hide from them forever."

"I can try,"

"But you'll fail."

Another groan. "Can we just get this thing over with? I want to lock myself in the basement and wallow."

Part 5 Part 7

Tag List:

@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff

[weebsinstash]

SIIIIIIIIIIGH oh my god though the power of across the spiderverse cannot be understated because I still think about Miguel O'Hara at least once a week and he's ruining me so I have a new idea for you guys (also did any of you see there's gonna be new Spiderman 2099 comics where he gets a Symbiote. Spidey 2099 being driven by his new Symbiote to finally act on his urges after hiding them from you completely for YEARS and just unleashes them all on you like a decade delayed volcanic eruption, just fucks you like an absolute animal who's about to go extinct and you're the only mate for miles--)

So anyways I was initially actually thinking of this for uh like Batman or the JL or whatever but, usually I come out here with my ideas, "what if Miguel meets you for the first time and you two get to know each other and he's crazy for you" but now I'm gonna hit you with "what if Miguel meets Reader and it's his first time meeting you but you've actually met different versions of him before" and it's in the most dramatic way possible (besides that "spiderwoman 2099 Reader who lost Miguel as her husband as her canon event falling prey to new Miguel who lost his wife as his canon event" idea anyways)

Miguel meets you when he chases an anomaly into your universe and finds himself drawn to you instantly, like magnetism, just so curious to learn about you, talk to you, spend time with you, and yet... you seem... off-put by him. You don't meet his eyes in a normal way, and there's a certain... agitation you regard him with more than once. He just wants to get to know you and you're practically AVOIDING him, even as you work for the Spider Society with him practically having to force that watch into your hand

He then finds out with all of these infinite universes, that there's a SECOND Spider Society, ran by another Miguel O'Hara

.... who is your ex-boyfriend

who never got over you

who still wants you back

who you're very obviously uncomfortable around, if not outright scared of, and everyone can immediately tell this second Miguel, let's call him Migs, is maybe not all entirely right in the head. He sees you and his entire personality changes. The tone of his voice. The light in his eyes. The way his smile pulls tight. The clear predatory interest.

Miguel is working with you amd there when Migs is 'introduced' and Miguel is INSTANTLY not only fiercely "territorial", but once he sees that you're actually kind of SCARED of this guy, well... Miguel doesn't want him there. Period. But Migs doesn't want to leave. The man claims you're still a member of his Arachnid Association, that everyone misses you, that HE misses you, misses working with you, misses holding you, FEELING you-

Like can you even imagine... Miguel watches you go from someone who is very unresponsive around him, giving him short answers, really only working with him when necessary, being intentionally emotionless, and then Migs comes out, and your hands are shaking, and you're breathing harder, and for a split second you look at Miguel and he KNOWS you're asking for help and he KNOWS he can see tears, even if you look away moments later trying to compose yourself, and it's ON, this guy has to LEAVE, Miguel doesn't even need a story or explanation he just KNOWS this motherfucker needs to get away from you and get out

Too bad the twist is that Migs is just a less intelligent and just more openly blatant alternate of Miguel, and you were just served on a silver platter to an infinitely more charismatic, more wizened, just as obsessive predator who you are now just SO grateful to. He's your HERO! Not to mention, you know, there were other people in the Arachnid Association that kind of gave you bad vibes, so, you should obviouslyyy stay under the protection of the Spider Society which Definitely :) isn't just as filled with eyes watching you as the last place if not even more, just smarter and more emotionally dedicated :) you can Totally relax here :) ignore that your Spidey Sense goes off sometimes when you're """alone""", it's just nerves, and you should totally totally totally tell Miguel or Peter B or your closest trusted "normal platonic friend" alllll about anything that happens and all of your feelings in detail! I mean, aren't they there to support you? They'll go over their game plan at the next meeting. You know, the secret ones you don't know about, the ones that are always only about one specific special person and I'll give you one guess as to who it is...

[brucewaynehater101]

Imperial delegation dedicated to taking care of their emperor and his consorts while they're on earth love pie. Each member of the delegation has different opinions regarding various types of pie but the consensus is generally positive. One of the reasons each member of the delegation was chosen was because of their ability to digest earth based food and handle earth's atmosphere. Only one of them needs to have a regular supply of supplements for trace elements that earth isn't able to provide naturally. The imperial chef has joined the baking beef between Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth as a new opponent for both bakers. The imperial chef secretly believes that if they can outbake or outcook both Martha Kent and Alfred Pennyworth then their emperor and his consorts will have to come home to the empire so they can keep getting the best food!

The caretaker of the imperial wardrobe is very huffy about every single uniform/costumes of the JL except Dick's discowing costume and Signal's whole look. They find Wonder Woman's outfit tolerable but think it needs feathers. They have strong opinions about popped collars and rhinestones. They've also brought a fabric with them that is impervious to the highest caliber bullets on earth but maintains the general feel and movement of the finest silk. It doesn't do much against the physical impact of the bullet but basically bullets cannot penetrate the fabric at all. The fabric can also only be cut or punctured by scissors that have been treated with a special chemical and needles treated with the same chemical and have to have the process reapplied regularly or it won't work, which means that regular knives, swords, and other cutting or puncturing implements are not getting through this silk. It's also capable of temperature regulation at extreme temperatures and comes only in hot pink, neon green, and sky blue.

Arthur is a sovereign of a singular nation, not an empire which contains numerous nations, and would probably think about the imperial delegation about as much as he would a delegate from the UN, not very much unless they mess with the oceans and if they do then he's messing them up.

Diana is a princess, not the actual ruler, but also in some versions a diplomat with the UN. She'd probably get assigned to try to figure out who is part of the imperial family and what is the political situation in the empire, should earth support this family to reclaim power? but if she's not attached to the UN then she'd probably just want to learn about the empire because one of her big things about leaving Themyscira is to learn about the "world of man".

I would like to think that Tim has figured out some sort of way to block or discourage J'onn from getting into his head and shared those methods with the C4 but if not then J'onn is generally polite enough not to dig into peoples' minds for no reason or casually. He would have no real reason to suspect Tim or the C4. As to Mars relationship with the empire, they're probably not going to be asking to join anytime soon.

Starfire and Tamaran are in another area far away from the empire and she's got a lot of political mess to deal with but possibly Starfire might be tempted to petition Tamaran join the empire but it's unlikely since she probably couldn't and wouldn't get the majority of her people to agree to such a thing. At most they'd probably be trade partners at some point when it becomes acceptable for both sides.

Thank you for including the perspective of Arthur, Diana, J'onn, and Starfire. I was curious about their respective thoughts or viewpoints on an alien empire given their own experiences (not necessarily ruling, but being a part of a non-human government/nation/whatever, dealing with Earth/human policies, and all that).

As for Starfire specifically, that makes perfect sense. This AU hasn't gone into the specifics on why these planets ask Tim to rule them, but it would make sense that Tamaran doesn't meet that desperation/requirements for it. They may or may not establish trade. I'm not too sure on all of the history/lore of that planet, but we can assume they are perfectly content with their own systems in this AU. At most, some advisors may meet up with one of Tim's advisors to discuss the differences in their systems for improvement sake (like maybe Tamaran does better at managing their past history/consequences of previous actions while Tim's planets are testing out modern supply technology for efficiency).

I've mentioned it before, but didn't quite tie the concept that the protection delegation would need to be able to handle Earth's atmosphere. In that same breath, I wonder if there's planets Tim can't visit (or can't visit long term) due to his human biology not vibing with their enviornment/atmosphere. That planet would probably be very sad :(

I want the imperial wardrobe person to just subtly roast or wrinkle their nose at other hero costumes. They are obviously chill with Signal and Nightwing (specifically discowing), but the others get a look of disdain. In all honesty, they really really care about Tim and his loved ones. They want Tim and the others to appear as their best selves and not be ridiculed by others. It's from a place of care that they roll their eyes at most hero costumes.

The fabric is super cool as well! Maybe another stipulation (besides the time required to make clothes out of it being high due to everything needed to be made by hand) is that the material is tedious to acquire.

[were-wolverine]

batboys au

i don’t have an official title for this au yet so for now i’m calling it “tim and his immortal zombie brothers”

backstory

dick is taken by the court of owls after his parents die. he helps batman when bruce destroys the court, and afterwards he disappears. bruce looks but can’t find him.

dick sets base in an abandoned building and basically decides to watch over crime alley like batman does with the rest of gotham. he hunts for food (mostly bugs, rodents and birds) cuz he can’t get sick, but needs to eat a lot.

he spends most days in the library reading and learning stuff (new languages, science, history, etc). he meets jason while investigating Ma Gunn’s and they work together to take her down. jason decides to stay with dick instead of go with bruce but forces dick to get an actual apartment (he does).

jason convinces dick to train him, though he already has some experience and his own skills. dick adopts the name Robin and jason goes by Shrike. they become legit vigilantes of crime alley.

jason finds out dick is a talon a bit after he starts out as Shrike. they are in the middle of a fight and dick is fatally shot- jason loses it and almost beats the shooter to death (it’s just one guy left at this point). dick gets up and pulls jason off, hugs him, and promises to explain when they get home. afterwards, jason punches dick for not telling him until he literally had no other choice.

jason’s death

the joker escapes arkham and kidnaps jason (14) while he’s on solo patrol (they split the area to cover more ground). joker beats jason with a crowbar when dick (16) realizes he’s missing and races to find him. he arrives just in time to see the warehouse explode. dick brings jason’s body back to their apartment and then goes out and kills the joker (bruce is on a JL mission when all this happens, so he isn’t there to stop him).

jason comes back to life (superboy prime alternate dimension stuff idk), but is not fully healed and goes temporarily comatose.

dick knows about the LoA from the court and info he’s gathered over the years, and is able to contact talia. she agrees to let jason use the lazarus pit in exchange for a favor from dick, and they go meet her in nanda parbat. dick stays there with him during his recovery, so there are no drastic changes in his personality (aside from the trauma of fucking dying). they train together there for about 6 months before returning to gotham.

(his favor to talia is, later on, taking damian from her father and bringing him to bruce)

introducing tim

once they return to gotham, they appear to gain a stalker. they decide to leave the kid alone at first, but eventually get concerned because a kid really should not be out at night alone in crime alley.

dick (17) and jason (15) finally confront their stalker when they save him from getting mugged. the kid introduces himself as tim (12) and explains that he was curious about the young vigilantes in crime alley and decided to follow and photograph them. also he figured out Robin’s real name- dick grayson (who tim had theorized wasn’t dead despite the boy having been missing for years).

the boys are actually really impressed, but they try to dissuade tim from following them (which obviously fails). they then decide to teach him basic self defense and make sure he’s always within shouting distance/view of one of them while out at night.

tim, being the genius he is, figures out they aren’t fully human anymore. he doesn’t judge them for it, but he brings it up to them because he’s curious, so they explain talons and the lazarus pit.

once tim gets older they start to actually train him, and he becomes another vigilante (Magpie). also, because his parents leave him home alone for months at a time, he pretty much lives with dick and jason (but sometimes, when it’s really cold/hot or heavily raining/snowing, they all stay at drake manor instead of the apartment).

damian

a bit after dick turns 18, talia contacts him and tells him it’s time to uphold his part of their deal. leaving jason in charge of the Alley, he goes to nanda parbat, steals baby damian (he’s four), gets him to gotham and brings him to bruce.

basically, instead of adopting dick & jason, bruce just gets damian way earlier.

(p.s. dick knows bruce wayne is batman because of the Court, but jason and tim don’t know. when he explains the situation jason is like ‘how tf did bruce wayne meet talia and have a kid with her’ and dick is like ‘oh yeah, he’s batman’ and jason & tim explode)

bruce’s kids

bruce is about 30 when damian (quite literally) drops into his life. a year or two later, he finds cassandra and subsequently adopts her.

steph (spoiler, 15) has been working alongside him for about a year or so already, and babs (batgirl, 20) has been working with him for four-ish years. both forced him to let them work alongside him and he gave up trying to stop them

i have a lot more stuff but this is the basic storyline

[thevindicativevordan]

Any thoughts on the new Zod series and the other Superman-related announcements at SDCC ?

Seems like most of the actual exciting announcements came from the DC Connect leaks. Despite this SDCC being hyped up as a "return to comics", DC didn't seem ready to actually reveal much (nor did Marvel to be fair).

Biggest announcement that I care about is Joe Casey making a surprise return to DC for a Zod book! Solicit sounds like a dream come true, my own idea for a Zod book was him making moves to establish New Krypton as a power with influence in the United Planets, and this is doing something different but intriguing nonetheless. Need to reread Casey's Superman, I believe he did some cool stuff with Pokolistan Zod previously, but this is his first time working with the genuine deal. Seems Ursa and Lor are gone/dead. I have a theory that this is spinning out of the 2024 Brainiac event. Williamson had Supes and Zod divide Kandor between themselves, and my hunch is the event will be Brainiac trying to reclaim Kandor. I predict he will reclaim Zod's half and also bottle Ursa and Lor too, which Zod will blame Kal for. Can't wait to see what Casey does, this might finally give us the big Zod story we've been waiting for.

From the leaks we know that Tamaki/Patridge are doing a Supergirl Special that hopefully is a prologue to a new Supergirl book, similar to what just happened with Power Girl. Tamaki's Being Super was good, my only qualm is that it turned Kara into Clark Lite. That's not what I want for the mainline Kara, I don't want Kara wearing glasses, or being a journalist, or even having a secret identity, none of that appeals to me. I don't think it makes sense for her character, nor does it make for an interesting character. If DC wants me to check a Tamaki Supergirl book out, I need to know Tamaki gets that Kara isn't Kal and won't try to make her fit his mold. Especially after King's excellent miniseries, Kara needs someone who is going to tell stories with her that you could only do with Kara.

Neither Williamson nor PKJ want to do a Mxy story per their own words which is a bummer. Maybe PKJ was trolling/lying since I've listened to interviews where he said he liked Mxy and had story ideas for him, or maybe he changed his mind like he did with Toyman. PKJ had a surprise villain appear in the Metallo arc with Cyborg Superman, I'm betting another classic Superman villain will be involved in this upcoming Blue Earth arc. Ultra-Humanite is my guess since PKJ has said he wants to deliver on those two dangling plot threads that Morrison set up. Williamson has a new villain coming in the Chained, and also teases stuff coming for Livewire, Parasite, and Toyman. I continue to be pleased with all the love the Superman Rogues are getting.

No announcements/appearances from Taylor at the Superman panel which is giving me the slightest bit of optimism that he's well and truly done with Superman for a while. He'll probably shove Jon onto the Titans team but I don't care about that. Jon wasn't even mentioned at all, he's well and truly flopped at this point. Until he gets a new creative team to try and salvage him, I'm fine with him playing support in Action and/or on the Titans.

JLvGvK sounds and looks fun as hell, keep the JL on Earth 0 disbanded forever and do more crossovers like this instead

Anonymous asked: What do you expect from this rumored Crisis on Infinite Earths animated movie?

This has been rumored for ages, so maybe they were able to get Conroy in the studio before his death? Otherwise just have Terry be the DCAU Batman, because there's no way the DCAU guys aren't going to show up. Rumor was every animated DC incarnation was going to be involved, and I'm morbidly curious to see if they're actually getting the budget to pull that off (my hunch is no).

Adams claimed that the Tomorrowverse will continue after this, so my guess is that this is going to be them incorporating other takes into the Tomorrowverse - I expect Stana Katic Diana to be folded into the Post Crisis Earth, maybe Keaton Hal Jordan too - and this will mark the end of the Multiverse stories for a while. If Adams is lying then this will kill off the Tomorrowverse so they can switch to making DTVs for the DCU. Warworld wasn't good so I'm fine with them ending the Tomorrowverse, they made a lot of weird choices there anyway.

Oh and DC is adapting Watchmen again. I can only assume this is laying the groundwork for a Doomsday Clock adaption down the road, because otherwise what's the point? Animation guys are not going to turn in a better script than Snyder did, nor can they match the budget of the Snyder movie either

Otherwise...

Ram V signing a DC exclusive is welcome news, I expect Tec will remain his main book for the duration of his two year contract, but this means we will keep getting great side books like the Vigil or Swamp Thing.

Gotham War sounds boring, I'm eager to get through it to the other side

New Outsiders book that is basically DC Planetary interests me, good to see Batwoman moving back to being the Bat who does weird shit rather than being "the soldier"

Seems Wells will remain on ASM for another year, bummer. Slott's getting two Spider-books

At least that Spider-Man 2 trailer looks great! Spidey's gift and curse is that he always has something good coming even when his books suck, which lets me scratch that itch without the comics, but also seems to uplift Spidey's sales even when his books suck. No matter how bad his books are they always sell, leaving Marvel no incentive to purge Spidey editorial the way they need to

Hickman's Ultimate Universe reboot announcements did not materialize, did they decide to save those until after Invasion ends, or are there already troubles behind the scenes?

None of the X-Books are appealing to me, I'm sticking with Gillen's Immortal but once that wraps I think I'll be done.

Pretty boring SDCC honestly. Obviously NYCC 2022 was a rare blowout event, but SDCC didn't even try to match that energy.

[livingmeatloaf]

Fic Files Ask Game

Tagging myself via @durinsheir, because this sounds super fun!

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigue them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Feel free to ask about any of these! ✨ (sparkle emoji) means it's one of my active WIPs, of which I must finish one before I can seriously work on a new story. Some of these have more info in them than others.

-----

First, my MXTX wips. These get no explanations lol, if you're curious then ask away!

✨PT 1 and you will make it with your own hands (MDZS PR AU)

✨A Serpent Among the Lotus

✨Idea pit for BPSYAU

✨Jin Zixuan-Jiang Cheng childhood friends to lovers

✨Moshangliubingshen Hypothermia

✨rare pair week 2023

✨Royal Consort Liu Qingge

✨WWX dog Therapy- Taking the Bite Out of the Bark

3some bodyswap bingqiuhua

A mouth full of glass - Meng Yao - Your Own Hands aside

Baxia Symbiote Modern AU

Bingqiu size difference

BPSYAU 18- compilation

CCS SVSSS AU

Cultivation Beach: Surf and Turf War, the Musical Extravaganza

Deaged SQH and LBH

Disaster Detective - MDZS AU

Emotional spelunking

Emperor AU - MY and NMJ meet on the battlefield

Fairy's Tiktok Account - JL/LJY

fic idea - demon poisons

Heavenly Demons Symbiote AU

Hollowed, But Unbroken - coreless JC AU

LBH vs The System

Liu Qingge fucking all the peak lords

Modern SVSSS but wifeplots real

Moshang wax play

Moshangliu Lesbians

RCLQ smut drafts

Recovery - post Your Own Hands tragedy trio fic

Sad Bingge

Self-Defense - Emperor AU (Pudding)

Shang Qinghua Gets His Harem

Shen Jiu transmigrates into MDZS

swordfucking for Kai

Take Love By the Reins

The Cultivator And The Snake

UILF: modern AU uncle romance - TLJ/LQR

WWX Dog Therapy - prequel

And the three non-MXTX wips that have even a chance of being worked on again lol

Cattlevania - Castlevania, American Western AU

Inuyasha: A Suburban Fairytale - Inuyasha, modern HOA AU

Purposeful Disobedience - Yin-Yang Master - Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity, missing scene/post-canon

Feel free to tag yourself if this sounds fun for you! I won't tag anyone specifically.

[pbaintthetb]

After seeing @nixster627​ post on the most popular ships under the MDZS novel tag I got curious about the Donghua. I looked at the 10 most poplar relationshp tags, 10 most popular romantic relationship tags (where a A&B made top 10) and 10 most popular platonic relationship tags (gen only).

Quick house keeping about the data 

Some of these fics are likely mistagged, I have not accounted for, nor attempted to address this issue when recording the data

This is referring to fics that are tagged with the 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon) tag excluding ALL crossovers, both with MDZS Novel/CQL/Audio Drama and other fandoms. This is partly because almost all fics tagged donghua are also tagged novel. There were a total of 275 fics.

To determine the next most popular ships I did this by removing popular tags from the search function. This means that fics tagged with multiple ships etc would have been removed and may have skewed the dataset

As above, fics may have been tagged with multiple ships

The breakdown of tagged relationships by category has not been expanded beyond the top 10 to include fics with the same number of entries. This is because it quickly got real tedious and also confusing trying to work out how many fics had one entry in a category. Who knows how the ao3 sorting system works with the same number but sorry not sorry for that priotising of some ships above others.

All data is correct as of 13:30 UST, 23/02/2023 when viewing with an AO3 account

On with the Data!

TOP 10 MOST POPULAR RELATIONSHIP TAGS

First we have the top ten relationships with both their absolute value and percentage within the fandom. Shockingly Wangxian is not top. 

Pretty similar to above but this time we’re only looking at Romantically tagged relationships, bye bye JC & JL. There are actually 12 relationships here because the bottom 3 all drew and it felt unfair to exclude them.

The above 13 ships now split into rating category. The gen ship is highlighted in green

A graph of the 3rd data table if you’d prefer

Stats on Categories

There’s also quite a lot of interesting information if you look at the categories invididually. Some ships that aren’t in the top ten get a day in the limelight, it’s easier to see what relationships really like what ratings etc

Each table has 3 columns, the total number of tagged fics with the ship, the percentage of tagged fics with the relationship as a total of the rating category, and the percentage of the tagged relationship in the rating category as a total of the tagged fics with that ship across all ratings.

Gen 3 data tables for gen- overall top 10, top 10 romantic, top 9 (lol) platonic

Here we can see that while Wangxian is the most popular gen ship, people who write JC & LXC really like gen fic, 100% of their fics are gen. Wangxian on the other hand is not very popular as gen at only 13%

Interestingly the Cangse Sanren/LQR tag is only popular as gen. Also look, a wild OFC/OMC ship

Top 10 platonic is only a datset for gen for obvious reason and its only top 9 but still, interesting to see what’s popular

Teen

In comparisons to the total it’s interesting to see Wangxian leading the charge in the lower category ratings, leaving JC/WWX far behind when overall JC/WWX is actually one fic ahead. Probably because a lot of fics are tagged Wangxian even if its not really about them because they’re just that sickening couple. Also hello NMJ. It’s also nice as a big gen fan to see some platonic relationship tags here hello.

switching over to romantic adds Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, Nieyao, Sangcheng and WWX/OC to the mix

Mature No platonic relationships made top 10 for mature so one table only

Those JC/LWJ/WWX truthers really like mature. JC/WWX is leading the charge once again but as seen by ship% mature maybe isn’t their thing. Or maybe it is considering there are five categories. Also sangcheng, nice, my guilty pleasure to read of my two favourite characters who I don’t think like each other very much but sometimes I like indulging myself and pretending they do.

Explicit Once again, no platonic ships made it this far

XXC/XY fans like writing explicit, which really doesn’t surprise me like, hmm. Don’t think they have a gen, suitable for all audiences, romantic relationship lbr.

Not rated There is 1 platonic ship in this tag. What a mood

Shout out to that LQR & LWJ uncle nephew relationship, actually do rate LQR as an uncle, Deserves more love and attention. Interesting to see that the majority of the JC/WWX and WN/WZL falls into unrated, while its much lower for Wangxian. There were a lot more ships with only one entry but ao3′s ranking system was not in their favour.

Pushing LXC/WWX into the charts with that romantic. Interesting to see that 2% there tbh that’s probably an error, flame me later. LWJ/ALL is a not rated delicacy

Summary

Not a lot to say here. Thanks for the idea Nixsters627, thanks if you read this far readers, and it’s cool to see how things break down over category and what ratings go with what ships

also confirmed what i always knew which is that us donghua faves are a special rare breed, ngl still not over wangxian being beaten out, wowser

have a good day all!

[garthofshayeris]

What do you think of mera’s character? Is there a good character analysis of her that you know of? She’s my favorite in the Aquaman family and I’d love to know what you think of her

I’m actually not sure if I’ve read a good character analysis of her. I wrote something a few months ago about what I thought of Mera. but tumblr’s search system is terrible and I cannot find it again lmao I’m gonna be a bit more brief and if you’re really curious I can keep trying to find it?

I like Mera, but I don’t think she has a very developed character. Not in the same way Arthur or (preboot) Garth or many of the male characters do. Im not sure I could write a character analysis of her modern interpretation because nothing has really happened to her? She’s very much just “Arthur’s wife” and, more recently, “Girlboss Female Arthur.” It’s why she doesn’t work as a JL member and why her “solo” had to include other main characters to move the story along. This is the problem with literally every female Aquaman character tho

She was written out of a lot of Vol5, which was a more character driven story and had more character growth than the modern comics do, which explains why Mera hasn’t really gone through much recently. Preboot, a lot of her character is based on being a wife or a mother (and then losing that mother and wife status) which I’m not sure is like….the best or most feminist way to treat her, but imo it was more dynamic than her current role which is just…she’s REALLY powerful and REALLY cool and REALLY independent. Good things, of course, but there’s nowhere to take it

Preboot also has the theme of outsiders/found family/learning to live in a new location which worked well for Mera to match Garth and Arthur, because Xebel/Dimension Aqua wasn’t related to Atlantis at all. They sort of touch on that as a problem for her, but not to the extent they did for the male characters. It’s pretty much a non-issue for modern comics (but they don’t use that theme much anymore either)

That kills me because, again, I LIKE Mera…I just don’t have the same “omg I love them and here is why…” ranting abilities for Mera. With the right creative team I think they could really make her her own character who could stand out a little more. Mera is super popular so I’d love to know if other people have a different perspective!

[catxsnow]

TAKE THE BULLET B.W.

Request:  I saw your post about requests! Can you do a Batman x reader (from the animated movies if you do him) where the reader is apart of the JL and almost dies by jumping in front of a bullet during a mission with the team to save Bruce? Fluffy/angsty stuff. 

Warning: injury, angst, fluff

A/N: I’m so sorry it took this long! It’s been sitting in my WIP for ages and I just never got around to doing it until now 

Gif not mine

Word count: 2.3k 

You knew the risks of being in the Justice League.

A constant target on your back, the willingness to lay down your life to protect the people of your world, even the on demand requirement of your presence when someone was endangering the world. The second that you joined the team, you lost your freedom to have a normal life.

When it came down to it, it was all worth it. Knowing that you saved hundreds, thousands, even millions of lives because you stood up against an evil greater than yourself. The nightmares that haunted your sleep because of the horrors that you saw. The pain you endured because you refused to give up. Everything was worth it.

Your whole life you had been the one to willingly put yourself through all this torture to save lives. It was engraved in you to make the world a better place, no one expected you to make a difference like this one. No one expected you to be a hero, one of the best at that.

For so long you were on your own. You had your friends in your civilian life but no one truly to understand what you had to endure as a superhero. That was until the Justice League formed. It was a rocky start - a bunch of people who didn't believe that they needed to be a part of something bigger.

While many of the heroes found it a burden to have people that relied on you, you found it a blessing. People to finally understand who you were, that accepted you for the person that you were, not some freak. This team meant everything to you, enough that you would give up your life for your teammates.

And that was exactly what you had done. It was a dangerous mission, everyone knew that. As prepared as everyone was, they weren't expecting you to take the bullet for Batman. You saw the blast coming while he was fighting off another monster. There wasn't enough time to get him out of the way and he had no idea that it was coming for him.

So, in a moments haste, you had put yourself between the blast and him. Batman might have driven you crazy half the time, but he was only human under that suit. He would have never survived the blast. You barely did and your suit was impenetrable.

Batman didn't make friends. He didn't stick around to get to know his teammates and he certainly wasn't chatty with anyone. You found him insufferable most of the time but that small part of you couldn't help but be intrigued by him. Batman acted as if he were Superman even though a bullet would stop him just as it would anyone else.

He was meticulous with everything he did. No matter the situation, he knew every detail about everything. Batman was cold hearted, except for the split second time that you got to see him smile.

The team watched in horror as you fell to the cement. Your suit was half disintegrated and your breathing shallow. The blast had almost killed you. Almost.

It was Hal that got you out of there, bringing you to safety and away from the fight that you could no longer be a part of. Everyone had seen you go down. As devastation filled them, so did determination. They couldn't lose this fight, not after what you had done for them all. Batman most of all.

Only when you were safe in the infamous Batcave did Hal leave your side again. At the moment, there was no better place for you. He knew the secret identity of Batman, he also knew that Bruce was going to want to be the one to help you. After that night, he owed you a life debt.

As much as Batman liked to make everyone think he was invincible, he was only human. Humans had a heart, and with that little move that you did, you had gotten right into his.

><

You woke up cold. The air was still and held a frosty bite to it. Your whole body ached and as you tried to move it flared even more though your nerves. An IV was stuck in your arm and you were no longer in your suit. It wasn't the new clothes or the medical supplies that got you curious, it was the location.

No one in the Justice League had been lucky enough to step foot in the Batcave. It always seemed like some sacred place that all your other teammates were afraid to step foot in. Their bad mojo rubbed off on you for the longest time as well. Batman's secret lair always seemed to spook you.

Sitting in there now, you didn't feel the same way. Aside from the cold and darkness, the place wasn't nearly as dramatic as you thought it was going to be. Large super computer, training area, the med bay that you were in, and a collection of memorabilia. Nothing like you expected it to look like.

"You're awake."

You nearly jumped at the voice. Batman stood to the side of you, his cowl off so you could see his face. It was the first time that he ever trusted you with his identity and least to say, you were shocked. Bruce Wayne hid under that cowl. Billionaire playboy by day, Gotham's hero at night.

Without the cowl on, he looked far less intimidating. Whether it was his piercing blue eyes or the fact that he was really just some human. You felt less of a need to cower away from him and more of a pull of attraction. He was handsome, extremely.

"How long was I out?" You asked. Your voice was hoarse and the cough that erupted in your chest only put you through more pain. It was going to take far longer for you to heal than you wished. However, seeing Bruce alive because of you was well worth the pain. You couldn't imagine Gotham without it's Dark Knight.

"Three days."

"Fuck," you muttered, laying back down to the pillow. Your eyes sealed shut in frustration at the lost time. "I take it the rest of the mission went well then."

"Minimal civilian causalities," Bruce told you. He took a step closer to you and reached for the bandages that crossed your stomach. Faint burn marks that would never fully heal laced your skin. They did as much as they could, but you would be left scarred forever. Just a reminder for Bruce that you nearly died for him.

Before he could touch the material, you had snatched his wrist. Your eyes were still shut when you did the action, but they popped open when you grabbed him. Bruce retracted without saying anything. He nearly complained as you pulled the IV out of your arm and swung your legs off the side of the hospital bed, but remained silent. You were a grown woman, you could decide if you felt healthy or not.  

"Thank you," Bruce found the only way to stop you in your tracks. Your hands gripped the side of the bed and he couldn't tell if it was because you were suddenly dizzy, or shocked by his words. It was both. Your head hung low and you didn't wish to gaze up at him. Memories of the searing pain you felt flooded you and seeing his face was only a reminder of it all.

You knew that taking that blast might of killed you. You knew that the second it hit you that you might not be waking up the next morning. Was it worth it? Saving someone as heartless as Batman? You weren't sure yet. You were alive and breathing, that was going to have to be good enough for now.

"I would be dead without you," he continued. You still didn't move. Bruce went down to his knee. One hand gently on you leg and the other balancing on his own. His touch caused you to flinch, catching him off guard. He felt the need to step away from you, to give you the space that you desired. "I'm sorry."

"I saved a teammate, Bruce," you used his real name. His narrowed slightly; he didn't think you recognized him. You showed no reaction as you saw who he really was, he just assumed you were as oblivious as Hal. "I'd like to think you would do the same but who fucking knows."

"I've dedicated my life to saving people do you really think that I wouldn't do the same for anyone else on the Justice League? For you?" Bruce grit his teeth. He stood up from his spot on the ground and towered above you once more. This sudden coldness that you were giving him was nothing that he expected when you woke up.

You were always so kind to everyone on the team - even him when he pushed you away so many times. After taking the risk of dying for him, he thought that you would be willing to show more kindness. Someone willing to die for another obviously enjoyed their presence . At least he thought so.

"I think that it's been months that we've been working together and it's only when I nearly die for you that you decide to show your face," you scoffed. "Then again why does it matter who's under the mask, you're still the same asshole either way." This time, you jumped off the bed and tried to walk past Bruce.

You never even made it two steps past him before he grabbed your wrist and stopped you. You tried to pull out of his grasp but it was no use, he was far too strong for you. Bruce tugged you back, nearly causing you to trip over your own feet as you did.

"I kept you alive, the least I deserve is a thank you," Bruce's voice lowered. If you were going to be cold to him, then he was going to be the same right back. "But then again, why does it matter? I'm still the same asshole anyways that could have let you die." He let go of your wrist, but his words only frustrated you more.

After taking the bullet for him, you thought he would be more willing to open up to you. To be himself while there was no one else around. It didn't take long to realize that he would never do that, or maybe this was him being himself. You would never know the truth. That was what angered you.

You wanted to argue with him, to yell at him for being such a soulless dick. However, Pain erupted though your entire body. Your knees buckled from below you as you held onto your wound. Bruce had caught you just before you hit the ground. He easily swooped you up and set you back down on the bed.

This time, you didn't argue as he lifted the bandage to see what kind of hell your skin was in underneath. Bruce worked in silence. He dabbed a clean cloth around the wound and sterilized it. The sting of alcohol made you bite your lip to hold back the hiss of pain. With more grace than you ever thought he had, he wrapped you with a new bandage.

As he tried to walk away, you were the one to stop him. You grasped his hand, far more delicately than he had grabbed you. He could easily snap out of your hold if he wanted to, yet he found himself stopping to turn back.

"I'm sorry," you apologized. He was right, Bruce did save your life. "I guess I just expected you to be... different without the mask on. I assumed we all were. Maybe in this life we're always hiding behind some sort of mask, even without realizing it."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Bruce," you stopped him from walking away once more. "I just meant that I'm grateful for you to trust me with your identity. And that you saved me, you understand what it's like to be human under the suit. I know that trust doesn't come easy to you."

A silence fell between you. The intensity of his stare made you feel vulnerable. Cowl on or off, he was still the great Batman. A deadly weapon and a savior to Gotham. You hadn't meant to get upset. He was the last person on the team that you wanted to make angry - even more than Superman.

"Do you wanna get a drink?" Bruce suddenly asked. The corner of his lips tugged up and it was the most that you had seen him smile since that brief first time. You looked down at the over-sized clothes that you wore and then over to his Batsuit. Together, you looked to be quite the pair.

"I hope being a billionaire means you buy good whiskey," you agreed to his offer. Bruce pulled you up off the bed with the hand that had been resting in yours the whole time. You were thankful for his help. The wound you had surely would have taken you down once more if it wasn't for his support.

You stopped several steps in. Bruce looked down at you, worried about your wound. With a second of hesitation, you stood on your toes to kiss the corner of his lips. Your hand rest on his chest as your lips lingered on his skin. Your hand felt as if it was burning a whole through his chest.

He didn't expect this sudden act of affection, but he appreciated it nonetheless.  "If you'd let me, I'd like to get to know the real you - whatever version that may be," you offered. Bruce had trouble opening up to people, but maybe it would be easier with you.

"I'd like that."

[legends-live-in-memories]

“How Did All This Happen?”- A Memoire by one Marinette Dupain-Cheng 5

hi. im back. after slightly longer than usual (my usual was like everyday, not happening again) i have returned. :) this update is also slightly longer than usual too but who complains about that?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

without further ado

Did Marinette Miss Her Own Wedding? I

Constantine was having a horrible time, as far as Marinette could tell. His phone kept ringing, which he was pointedly ignoring, and he looked more and more frustrated as he skimmed through one of his many grimoires. He was also very sober. Maybe that had something to do with it.

After Marinette’s little excursion out with Plagg the previous night, Constantine joined her and her grandfather and explained the lore behind the Renlings and what they were capable of. Marinette was already over it. It’s one thing to be magical guardians of one set magical gods, but animal spirits that transform the wielder into the respective animal is borderline ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. And Constantine wants her to find them. Why not the Justice League? Or their team of proteges? Well, apparently, Constantine has a healthy distrust of the Justice League and magic they are unfamiliar with. Something about a mystical house no longer existing because somebody was suspicious. They fucked around and found out, as Plagg so eloquently put it. She didn’t know how she felt about aiding Constantine in his paranoia.

Anyways, Marinette was now Constantine’s go-to whenever he wanted to keep things away from the JL. She would have said no like a reasonable person, but she was at least getting more magical training and could actually use some of the spells in the Miraculous grimoire. Speaking of which, the grimoire that Constantine was hunching over was supposed to help them in finding the other Prodigiouses. The Kwamis were surprisingly unhelpful as they have never heard of the Prodigiouses or Renlings. 

After what could have been hours of grueling translating and spellwork, Constantine had finally figured out the location of the eight total Renlings and what their prodigiouses looked like. While Marinette and Master Fu began scheming appropriate retrieval plans, Constantine went to answer his many missed calls.

“What?!” Well that sounded concerning. Constantine looked ready to pull his hair out from scalp with tweezers. Whatever news he just received must have been awful for him to lose his composure like this. Good.

“You lot are planning to do what now?” Oh, was this JL business? Should Marinette be listening to this, albeit one-sided, conversation?

“And why do you all need to do this?” 

“Don’t give me that attitude. I’m working on something important.”

“Yes it is important, Zatanna. Please don’t let that group of League Juniors do this.”

“You even got me saying ‘please.’ No I can not tell you why”

“Well what do you mean you can’t trust me?!” This was starting to sound serious. The popcorn that Wayzz brought was also making this ten times more entertaining. 

“Zatanna-” Oh he got cut off. Serves him right.

“Fine, be that way.” Constantine forcefully ended the call and was pouting like a child. 

Marinette didn’t know if she should ask anything but she had the feeling it was related to the prodigiouses and tracking them. Were the League getting involved? It would explain his desperation to not have them interfere. 

“I can’t believe them.” Looks like Marinette didn’t have to make the decision after all. He was going to rant about it.

“What can’t you believe, Constantine?” Her grandfather appeared equally as curious.

“The Team are going to try and track down the prodigiouses. Luckily, they only think there are five rather than eight.” He paused to run his hands through his already disheveled hair. “I don’t know which five they’re tracking. Also, they probably know you have the Snake’s Fang.”

“Pardon?” Marinette doesn’t know what she would do if she was on the Justice League’s most wanted.

“Zatanna didn’t outright say it, but Kobra probably told them it was taken from him. That’s probably how they knew about the others too. Thanks for that.”

“First of all, I didn’t even know what these things were so don’t blame me. Second of all, this could have all been avoided if you just told them!” Marinette did not appreciate the blame being put on her for the League’s involvement. She wasn’t done ripping Constantine a new one yet either. “Especially considering the fact that you knew that their secondary team had a mission there. UN rules or not. But no! You wanted to keep all your magical secrets to yourself. So don’t blame me for the consequences of your own actions.” She was fuming at this point, probably overreacting, but she was tired of cleaning up after people who won’t so much as thank her. 

The ensuing silence was deafening and eyes that weren’t on Marinette were on Constantine. He looked rather surprised at Marinette’s show of spine, probably forgetting that she was born and raised in the League of Shadows. He never will again if he keeps pushing his luck. 

Fu cleared his throat, probably clogged from the awkward tension. “Well, now that that’s all dealt with, do you know what your next move is Constantine? Do we actively hinder the League for the sake of your own peace of mind or do you talk to them and work collaboratively with them?” 

Constantine, who was still doing his best fish impersonation since Marinette—no, Mei Fu—dragged him for everything he’s worth, tried to string together an answer. 

“I still think it’s best we don’t involve the Justice League with this. We should try to intervene and cut off their attempts of retrieving the prodigiouses.” He sounded like a child trying to convince their parents that they didn’t break the expensive vase. Very pitiful and very unconvincing. 

“Fine.” Pardon? Did her grandfather just agree? “We’ll help you keep the prodigiouses and the Renlings away from the Justice League.” Wow. Okay. So he’s just agreeing with him. Three guesses as to who will actually be the one to retrieve them. Wonderful.

Groaning with the weight of a thousand suns, Marinette also voiced her consent. The Kwamis were silent throughout this, not expressing their opinions. Except for Trixx, who had periodically rolled his eyes so hard Marinette would have been concerned he had popped a few blood vessels, if he had any. 

They spent the rest of the week planning and convincing her parents that she wasn’t in danger with her grandfather. They agreed that Marinette would retrieve the Dragon’s Claw first. Despite Brazil being closer, the Monkey’s tail would be harder to find in the dense forestry so they didn’t want to waste time on an extended search until much later. 

If you were to ask Marinette, the week was not enough to prepare. She made arrangements to stay with the Tsurugi family and convinced Kagami to help her in the mission. Her mother would be providing them with non-miraculous weapons as a back-up. Lady Tomoe was too understanding of her daughter being a magic-wielding superhero in Marinette’s opinion. Not one to look a gifted horse in the mouth, Marinette did not make any comments about the very impressive artillery of weapons. She chose a pair of double broadswords while Kagami stuck to a katana. Kagami also had the Dragon and the Ladybug prepared while Marinette stuck to the Tiger and Horse. Plagg didn’t want to miss out on the action and planned to tag along again. Wayzz made an off-handed comment about Plagg’s sixth sense for chaos and his recent desire to accompany Marinette on these missions. Overthinking whatever that was supposed to mean had cost Marinette six hours of sleep. 

While everything had been physically prepared, Marinette had yet to cope with the whole ‘going behind the backs of the Justice League because Constantine was paranoid’ thing. But this will not be the worst thing she has done. She also has the godsend, Kagami, to pull her out of any impending mental spirals. Now all that’s left is to actually get the Dragon’s Claw.

According to Constantine, the Dragon’s Claw was located inside the dojo of a martial arts master, O Sensei. Kagami, to be referred to as Tonbo, meaning Dragonfly, was to guard the perimeter for any individuals who could get in the way, while Marinette, codenamed Tigerlily with this combination of miraculouses, was to find the Dragon’s Claw, camouflaged by the tiger miraculous, and teleport them both back out. It was simple enough in planning and should be simple enough in execution. Even if the sensei of the dojo was to be made aware of their presence, They were expecting the element of surprise to give them an advantage. You know, outside of Marinette’s assassin training. So, yeah the plan was simple.

Except for the part where a group of the young Justice League heroes were already there negotiating with whom she assumed was O sensei. She recognized Kid Flash, Robin and Nightwing. The two women with them were unfamiliar. She also found the Dragon’s Claw in the sensei’s hand. She was positioned on a tree branch looking into a window in the room. If she timed this right, she could grab the necklace and portal out of the room to Tonbo and then portal back to the Tsurugi residence. That plan carries the risk of being seen but the pay-off should be worth it.

Poised to leap from the branch, Tigerlily steadied her breathing and prepared to call on the Horse’s Voyage. Still camouflaged, she jumped through the window and summoned the portal, about to grab for the necklace. Except she grabbed nothing and was suspended in the air. 

Who she knew now was Ms. Martian was using her telekinetic abilities to suspend her. Kid Flash sped his way over and quickly tied her, the contact breaking the camouflage charm. They must have figured she would appear at one of the locations eventually and planned a contingency plan for her appearance. The martian hasn’t read her mind yet, so maybe they thought she was non-hostile. That thought wouldn’t last long however as Tonbo emerged from the portal and, using the Flame Dragon, took down Ms. Martian. Tigerlily used the distraction to undo the bindings and get in a fighting stance. Nightwing and Robin were protecting O sensei while Kid Flash and the other woman charged at the two. 

Kid Flash was circling the two faster and tighter, corralling them together. Tigerlily drew for her broadswords and slashed the old floor boards. Kicking them in Kid Flash’s path, she knocked him off balance and thumped him the back of the head with the butt of her blade, knocking him down. Tonbo called for her Storm Dragon to subdue her opponent, who was also knocked down, then strung up both with the Ladybug yoyo. Tigerlily began a steady approach to the two batboys. She was ready to attack first but Nightwing got the upper hand. He drew his escrima sticks and swiped for Tigerlily’s head. She blocked with one sword and jump kicked to his chest, missing him entirely as he had crouched to sweep her legs from underneath her. Rolling out of the fall, Tigerlily slashed for his rising back but he intercepted with his other stick. He turned to face her and barrelled his full strength into her. They crashed into the nearby wall and at a standstill.

Tonbo was caught in a clash of katanas with Robin, neither side giving way to the other. If Tigerlily was more conscious of their fight than her own, she would have noticed familiar fighting techniques that were ingrained in her since birth. Alas, her attention was on the blue bird in front of her. Using his force that kept her against the wall, She double kicked him in the chest, forcing him away. Robin and Tonbo had broken away from each other and Tonbo aimed to stab Nightwing in the leg. Nonfatally of course, she wasn’t an ex-assassin as far as Tigerlily knew. Right? 

Anyways, her attack switched up the fight as now Tigerlily tried to dodge under Robin's incoming blade. Sliding on her knees, she reached to where O sensei was situated with the Dragon’s Claw. Frustrated with the night’s turn of events and forgetting all sense of pleasantries, Tigerlily tried to grab for the necklace. The business end of a katana was swiftly placed under her jaw. One wrong move meant game over.

“What do you want with the Dragon’s Claw?” Robin sounded like he was holding back from saying something. 

“An acquaintance of mine wishes for you all to not have it. I am merely doing him a favor, Tweety Bird.” Where did that nickname come from? She must have been internally catastrophizing more than she thought she was if she was actually trying to flirt her way out of this. Tonbo’s exasperation was made loud and clear with that answering sigh.

“Flattery gets you nowhere, Mei.” Robin’s arm twitched at that.

“Wait, you know her?” “You know him?” Nightwing’s and Tonbo’s voices overlapped but Tigerlily registered none of it as her ears were ringing with spiked emotions she thought she had buried years ago. Only a few people knew her by that name. Kagami, Chloe, Luka and Adrien were the only people outside of the League of Shadows who knew her by that name. Even then, there was only one person her age with the Shadows who knew her. But it couldn’t be him. He was supposed to be dead. There was no way in hell that the Boy Wonder holding a katana to her throat was—

“Damian?!”

Taglist:

@deathwishy @neakco @virtualreading @f-rget-lt @your-resident-chicken-nugget @nathleigh @toodaloo-kangaroo @irontimetravelflower @trippingovermyfeet @t1dwarrior-of-earth @tip-tap-tired @fidget-eep @thenillabean @officiallydarkgeek @mystery-5-5 @moonlightstar64 @just-an-observer-ignore-me @nightstarblue @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @fan-written @jjmjjktth @vixen-uchiha @zorua-adorable @nnon-it-up 

[literaticat]

A while ago you mentioned that publishers have fact checkers. Can you tell us a bit more about this process? E.g. when they do it, how they do it, how thoroughly they do it, what sort of things they check?

I have no idea because, well, that's just not my job. I only know that it happens. But I asked my friend who is an editor for children's books, and she replied in a lovely way, so I'm putting her answers below.

Regarding what gets fact checked:

"Technically speaking, anything can be factchecked, but a book is more likely to be factchecked if the publisher knows that an ALA committee is going to comb through it, or the more institutional review journals will send it out for their own FC." (JL adds: That is to say, it's most likely to be non-fiction that gets intense scrutiny, though historical fiction or other books that deal in, you know, history or FACTS would, too.)

Regarding children's nonfiction picture books, more specifically:

"My guess is that this varies a great deal from publisher to publisher and even editor to editor. My normal process (developed in partnership with creators over the years) is to send nonfiction to factcheck in three rounds: round 1 is just the manuscript, and the FC is requested to gather visual materials to support the artist. Round 2 is sketches, in consultation with the artist about what round of sketches will work best to fact-check. Round 3 is final art, to check anything that has changed since the sketches factcheck.

A good factchecker is a precious person. They are detail-oriented and widely knowledgeable already, love doing research, and are sincerely curious about any topic they interact with. They’re good at asking questions that let them see around any assumptions the author or artist may have made. Factcheckers have noted that a dress could not have been polka-dotted in a book, because that pattern had not yet been invented in the time period pictured. They have checked whether that specific tree frog carries its babies on its back and whether those are the correct babies as illustrated. They have looked up primary sources for the racial make-up of 1700s London for a crowd scene. They have compared the proportions of an alligator with a glacier’s edge. They have confirmed the color of Emily Dickinson’s house and talked to us about the artificial tinting of nebulae.

But a good factchecker is never alone. Ideally, there is a team of Author, Artist, Proofreader, Managing Editor(s), Editor, Designer, Production Manager at the publisher as well, who also care deeply about getting things right –and have the time to look carefully. If you are the author of a book that should be factchecked, your very first step should be to try to turn in a well-researched and thoroughly correct manuscript. Then talk to your editor about your publisher’s process, and highlight any topics or questions that you’d particularly like checked. But still, remember that in a process with so many moving parts, sometimes errors do still slip through and must be corrected at reprint—even with the most dedicated people working together. Offer yourself, your team, and the teams behind other books a little grace as we try to offer children nonfiction that is unimpeachably accurate as well as inspirational and fascinating."

[angstymdzsthoughts]

Ignorance is a bliss

Imagine if “come to gusu with me” ends up with wwx passed out of exhaustion before he could reject the offer. Lwj did brought him to gusu and under the jurisdiction of the elders, after wwx is nursed back to health, his demonic cultivation must be sealed and he must received say maybe 15 lashes as punishment for straying off the righteous path before were sent to seclusion with lwj so that wwx will finally be ‘cleansed’. Wwx wasnt happy ofc but what he could do with his powers are sealed away? Now , 5 strokes of discipline whip may cause a cultivator bedridden for months, how about to a non cultivator ? It must affect them severely so that is why discipline whip can never be used to a non cultivator. Lwj was forced to a house arrest guarded by three disciples due to him trying to (forcefully) persuade the elders to not hurt wwx. Lwj never thought that the elders were so hell bent on punishing wwx , where he promised wwx that gusu will be his safe haven (oh lwj, ignorance is a bliss).

The elders of Lan assumed that wwx’s core is still intact but maybe diminished due to demotic cultivation. So they still proceeded with the punishment. But halfway through the session, wwx lose consciousness and healers were called to heal him so that they could finish the punishment.However, upon trying to heal him , the healers discovered that wwx does not have a golden core. Lxc was horrified and ultimately barked an order to bring wwx to the sect’s infirmary to put him to rest. Glaring at lqr and the elders , he told them if wwx did not survive the ordeal , they would have become a murderer.

Lwj was devastated on the state wwx in. Wwx had a bad fever due to infection despite how hard the healers were trying to use medication. Bandages were changed thrice a day to ensure the infection does not spread to other parts of body. Wwx never gained consciousness for 3 months. He was delirious in fever as his health rapidly declining over the days. Healers concluded that wwx may not he able to perform his daily routine without help as the whip has cause major backlash on his physical and mental health.

After a discussion, the lans decided to finally informed the jiang sects of the situation wwx was in. JC was on his way when wwx woke up. Wwx was in confusion and struggling to get out of his bed. Lxc and lwj had to restrain him to ensure he doesn’t hurt himself. The last thing wwx remembered that his back and legs were excruciating painful and people in white robes are the cause of it.Paranoia settles in him causing wwx to be on alert every second and never utter a single word after waking up, not even to lwj. For wwx, lwj has brought him to gusu because he hated wwx so much that he let those people hurt him. He was betrayed.

Although he was reluctant at first, he forced himself to eat to regained his strength and escape this hell. When the jc arrives at gusu with a group of disciples , lxc and the elders met them at the entrance leaving lwj and wwx alone at the room. Wwx for the first time spoke to lwj, requesting for a new change of robe. “I just dont want anyone to see me in this dirty robe” . Lwj acquiesced.

When lwj came back with new set of fresh robes and a basin of hot water , wwx was gone. Due to the envoy from Jiang sect , the entrance was not guarded as usual and wwx miraculously managed to flee gusu. Wwx put his guard up even he has successfully escape and ran to the most secluded part of Caiyi town. After resting for few hours and after the adrenaline was gone ,wwx realised that he was severely injured and crippled. His left leg cannot be bend without causing painful jolt like feeling. Him running all the way from gusu to caiyi with a bleeding back and hurting leg was indeed a miracle. Now , if walking was painful , then running was courting death. With careful planning using his survival skills and experience , wwx continues his painstaking slow journey and enters a forest , opposite direction of gusu and lotus pier. Wwx was last seen by a fruit vendor of Caiyi Town ; limping away without a trace.

Lwj without a doubt used an inquiry to find wwx , but wwx was an ambitious lad. Wwx somehow managed to create a talisman that can hide his presence even to spirits. Jc has issued posters all over the place , in hopes that someone might give an intel for him to find his brother but to no avail , no one has a clue of where wwx has been gone to. Wwx - like a ghost , has disappeared . JYL and JXZ was also at deeps end, unable to trace her missing brother. Other major sects also keep an eye for wwx, though the Lan clan has claimed that wwx’s demonic cultivation was sealed and was severly injured, who knows what can that young man do ?

Timeskip to 13 years later, JL LJY and LSZ (assuming that the siege never happened, but lwj adopted a-yuan as per requested by wq and wn to ensure he was raised at a proper & healthy background and the wen remnants survived and disperse for safety) was attacked at goddess temple only to be saved by a mystery crippled guy with mask (JL: a non cultivator nonetheless!) (LJY: what an amazing talent ! Only using talisman to beat the statue!). The teenagers were awestruck with the masked man’s skill, that they wanted to thanked him with a meal and few drinks but was rejected and the man leaves.

JL who never accepts no for an answers suggest to secretly follows the man so that they can send drinks or some offering for him to his house instead. Ljy and Lsz tagged along as they were curious of their saviour after all. A non cultivator cannot detect presence like a cultivator do, so the man was unaware that he was tailed. Upon arriving an old shack with a small potato farm , the man limped and sat with a grunt. Taking off his mask , he took a bottle of water and consumed a few concoction of medicine before coughing. The teenagers was surprised on the living condition of their saviour. JL however upon seeing the face of the man, went wide eyes.

“That man, he was in the poster my jiujiu used to issue around LP . My A-niang talks about him a lot,” looking over his other two confused companions. “I can never forget that face. The face that always make my mother cry upon looking at his picture and frown at his name. He is my missing big uncle , Wei Wuxian of Jiang Sect.”

“Ah i heard about him. Apparently our Elders punished him until he was missing his golden core , i think? Or is it the other way around?” Ljy spoke. “But i think the limping was the consequences from our Sects’ punishment. That time , Lan sect and Jiang Sect almost broke the treaty. I heard Madame Jiang managed to convinced your uncle to stop”.

They saw the man plowing a part of his potato field ,who occasionally stopped due to his heavy cough and resume his work. “Wwx , he is the person my father has been looking for the past 13 years. I need to let him know” Lsz finally spoke, smiling.

“Oh my potatoes , I hope you grew up fat and yummy for this master over here! I need more money , or i wont be able to buy medicine. You dont want me to die yet are you~” sang wwx. The 3 looked at each other and finally decides to leave for their respective inn, bringing a joyous news for their leaders.

Next day, both JC and lwj accompanied by the 3 went to wwx’s house. Both heartbroken on the state of the old shack . Knocking the wooden door and clearly listening on the voice mumbling from inside “who the hell would come here early in the morning at middle of a forest”, jc and lwj was shocked on the physical appearance of their missing person. Sunken cheeks and dark eyes as indication of fatigue , limping , voice hoarse from sickness and the obvious whipping scars marring from behind his neck to under the ragged clothes , jc couldnt help but to greet wwx with a hug , holding him so gentle in fear that wwx would break with the slightest of strength. Wwx frozen in shock couldnt hug back but made eye contact with lwj. “Weiying, please forgive me that I couldn’t protect you. I am very sorry.” After 13 years of internal pain and agony , wwx for the first time shed his tears . “I forgive you , so you all should leave me alone. I am a burden. Im no longer a cultivator , but a crippled man with not much time to left. I am nothing but a burden. Please” sobbed wwx.

“Idiot. Give us a chance to take care of you. A-jie misses you so much, every day and night. You haven’t met your nephew , Jing Ling . Don’t you want to eat her soup? And about your health, i can call WenQing to help you. She is still the best doctor alive. Come back with us , okay ? And no one will hurt you. “ jc.

Wwx was shocked to hear wq was still alive and her name was spoken by jc without an ounce of hatred. What have been happening for the past few years he have been isolating himself ? With shaking hands , he grabbed jc’s robe and nodded. He made another eye contact with lwj and could see how sincere he is from his eyes. Maybe , all this time , the fact that lwj hates me and sending me to my demise was all a misunderstanding?

“I am no more a cultivator.”

“It’s fine , WeiYing”

“I cannot contribute to Jiang sect anymore.”

“Who cares about that, idiot?”

“I’m going to be a burden !!! I cant even walk properly. My health is deteriorating”

“WeiYing, if tired , I can carry. Let me take care of you when sick”

“Lan Zhan, i dont want to go to gusu”

“We can go anywhere other than Gusu.”

“I wont let you take a single step to that damn place , no offence Second Young master Lan”

“None taken.”

———

(Alternate ending)

Wwx was still unconscious and attacked by a high fever due to infection in his wound. Numerous method has been used to mitigate the after effect of the whip , but to no avail. Infection starts to spread to his legs, and wwx was delirious and moaning in his sleep due to pain. The severity of the wound caused both of his legs to sepsis and the healers has no other way than to amputate the legs to make sure that the infection will not spread internally.

After the surgery of removing wwx’s legs , the infection are able to be minimised but still needs to be monitored. Still, wwx has no signs of waking up. Lwj was loyal to his side , taking care of changing the bandages . Every night , lwj had a nightmare of the reaction of wwx waking up with no legs . One particular nightmare that haunts him the most is weiying took out his own life out of despair. Lwj couldnt sleep for two nights watching over wwx after that nightmare occurs.

After 6 days, lqr visited the room and berates lwj for neglecting his duty as a student of Lan sect. Lwj angrily talks back, and was taken to kneel in the hall for one day. When he came back , no one was watching wwx. He came back with pure silence from wwx .Where there should a ragged breathing from wwx , it was only silence. Wwx’s usually pale lips was ashen. Bandaged chest that should be heaving was still. Wwx finally succumbed to his injuries after 11 days of fighting and lwj (again) was not by his side. His sect (again) are the cause of pain for his beloved ones and has taken everything from him.

—-

Wow took this one hour and a half. This is my second time posting here. 😋 enjoy?

-b

[westofwonder]

Pull List (03/17/2021)

Black Knight: Curse of the Ebony Blade #1 Captain America: Anniversary Tribute #1 Catwoman #29 Champions #5 Iron Fist: Heart of the Dragon #3 Justice League #59 Nightwing #78 Radiant Black #2 Thor #13 Ultraman: The Trials of Ultraman #1 Ultramega #1

Black Knight: Curse of the Ebony Blade - My knowledge of the Black Knight is limited, but I think the King in Black tie-in one-shot showed that the blade greatly affects Dane Whitman and I am curious to see that while he struggle to be a hero. I hope to enjoy this miniseries.

Captain America: Anniversary Tribute - Eighty years! Holy cow! Wish it was more Captain America stuff than the Avengers #4 getting a tribute, but this’ll still be fun.

Catwoman - I’m glad Jones is doing covers. I’ve read good things from Ram V. and I hope to continue. I’m glad Selina is back doing things in Gotham for the most part.

Champions - I’m glad this book is doing what it’s setting out to do with the Outlawed situation and how this team is handling C.R.A.D.L.E. and I am looking forward to the new creative team next issue.

Iron Fist: Heart of the Dragon - Involving Wakanda is a nice touch. I’m glad Luke Cage is also in this book helping Danny. I also am really enjoying the lettering especially what was done last issue when Danny was talking to that lady.

Justice League - The Bendis Justice League book! It was inevitable! I’m still going to try and enjoy myself because Green Arrow and Black Canary are here!. Shazam is here? Movie. Hippolyta is here??? I like but I am nervous. Naomi is here! And Aquaman because he doesn’t have a book sorry buddy. My problem with Snyder’s JL was that it felt too high concept and loaded.

Nightwing - Taylor has trapeze training how about that? With Babs being a supporting character I hope this focuses away from Bats. Saw a few things about Alfred and Dick and I thought that was touching. I would really like to see more of that.

Radiant Black - First issue was a good setup but it was very first issue-y. I think now that the ball is rolling more things can be done with this story and concept.

Thor - Last issue first panel was mean! Donald Blake getting his ass kicked by Throg and Lockjaw was very funny and it worked somehow. Also I thought Odin wasn’t gonna be used for a while but oh well.

Ultraman: The Trials of Ultraman - The first miniseries was very much about setting up the concept of Ultraman for a Marvel Comics audience. I hope more of the things that happen in Ultraman can start here with this miniseries.

Ultramega - This looks so much like Ultraman I’m surprised no lawyer has said anything. I think this will allow itself to be brutal with big guys fighting big monsters, and that’s why I paid big bucks for the fist issue!

Many good books came out this week. I’m glad some are miniseries because it gives me time to read them and other titles. Really looking forward to all my DC titles and nice to see an Image title in here that isn’t Monstress.

Happy readings!

[selfcallednowhere]

March 3, 2018 San Francisco, CA

This was my second time being at the Fillmore, after an Apollo 18 show a couple of years ago. It's a really awesome venue! I just love all things historic, and it really is just a cool venue even aside from that--I especially love the beautiful chandeliers (so does Flans, but I'll get to that).

So I was hoping they were actually gonna change the setlist this time after having the exact same one the previous two nights, and there are few songs that could've made me more excited than what they opened with: "Everything Right is Wrong Again"!!! Seeing the songs I have lyric tattoos from is always so intense for me. I've seen the other one, "Ana Ng," quite a few times, but this was only the third time I'd seen this one, and it was a majorly big deal. So that was the show highlight right off the bat!

After the song was over Flans said it was a sold out show, and that selling it out had "changed our whole self-image" and now they were "strutting around all arrogant and sticking our fingers into other people's chests." Then he said they were playing two sets and he wanted us to hold our applause for the second set (he actually said "second show," but he clearly meant to say "second set") and "treat us like any other opener" and feel free to do things like catch up on our emails.

Then he asked John how his day was (I love that he usually asks him this, because I'm always curious). John said that he'd slept for most of it, and Flans said he had too but he'd been trying to keep it a secret. Then he said it was part of his "two-part program: sleep all day, then drink an insane amount of coffee."

Then they had some whole long conversation about this self-help guru I don't really know named Tony Robbins. Flans said he'd just watched some Netflix documentary about him, which he expected to be some sort of exposé but was actually "a Trojan horse for him." John said he makes you not believe in self-help and think "I'll help myself, thank you very much." Then he said that his act has gotten a lot more obscene and he's now saying things like "How do you fucking feel?" whereas before he was more "G-rated." Then Flans said he'll yell at someone who "looks like someone's grandmother 'What the fuck is wrong with you?'" John said we should watch this documentary, and Flans said we should set a timer and just watch it for ten minutes.

Then Flans said they were going to be playing "new songs, old songs, and songs we barely know how to play." People cheered, and he said, "Those are our favorites too." Then he said they have a new album and it's really good. John: "We were holding the vial of good and someone jostled our elbow." Then Flans said they're "chuffed" about how good it is.

After "I Left My Body" and "Damn Good Times" (both great as per usual), Flans said the previous song had featured "the psychedelic experience of Dan Miller," and that the Fillmore is "no stranger to endless guitar sounds." Then he said that he didn't have "enough weird guitar sounds" on the next song, and John said that "the stakes are higher" cos it's the Fillmore.

Next they played "Mrs. Bluebeard"--John did not break his sad little streak of screwing up the lyrics every single time I've seen it, siiiiiiiiigh.

After "Your Racist Friend," they played "I Palindrome I," which was another delightful surprise and show highlight for sure--I've only seen it a handful of times, and it's such a good song.

Then, John picked up the contra-alto clarinet.

JF: This is the contra-alto clarinet. The signal for political revolution! JL: Cells, awaken! JF: If not here, when? If not now, where? Maybe I'm harping on this too much. *long pause*

Then they played "All Time What." Afterwards, Flans said that Dan had provided "an adult portion of high notes" on that song.

At the Fillmore they have a person walking around carrying a tray over their head bringing people drinks so they don't have to leave their spot to go to the bar. So the girl who was doing it this time was walking up near the stage (she was nice, I chatted with her a bit at the second show) and Flans said, "It would be interesting if that person didn't work here. There's not enough mustache wax in the world to top that. Not enough top hats in the world to mustache wax that."

Then they played "Bangs" and "Hearing Aid." They're doing an interesting cacophony of sound at the end of the latter, and it's good with Curt's trumpet too. That song is one of the ones I rank lowest on Flood (I don't hate it or anything, just not particularly into it), but it's still been rather enjoyable live somehow (I've been having that experience with quite a few songs that are currently in the set, actually).

Then Flans said that he's seen some movie called Last Waltz (another pop culture reference that was entirely lost on me) like 14 times, so when they play here he imagines an announcer announcing Neil Diamond. Then he asked if they could turn the chandeliers on "at a low volume." Then he said that there was going to be a "Neil Diamond/Van Morrison cage match--only one pantsuit will survive." Then John said that they've played a bunch of shows here before but he can't remember the chandeliers ever being turned on before, and Flans said you have to play a sold-out show to make it happen. They were very pretty, once they were on!

Then they played "The Mesopotamians." I've been burned out on this song live for quite some time, just cos I've seen it a million times, so I was pleasantly surprised when I actually enjoyed it this time.

Next they did the back-to-back thing that I was loving so much at the other shows of "When the Lights Come On" followed by "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes." GOD, I cannot even handle how good it is seeing two songs as amazing as those two back-to-back like that.

After that, Flans was describing the chandeliers as jellyfish, which was really silly. He said he wished he'd taken some psychedelic drugs to appreciate them more.

JF: There's some commercial on cable TV for some memory tablet that says "Includes an active ingredient found in jellyfish." Because jellyfish remember everything. GUY IN AUDIENCE: IT'S THE STINGER! JF: Yeh, I guess if you're stung by a jellyfish you won't forget it. JL: And neither will the jellyfish. JF: There has to be a German word for that sort of dream logic...This next song features the whole band. JL: The word "features" is being taffy-pulled to mean "includes." JF: It includes an ingredient found in jellyfish.

The song was "This Microphone," which I have been enjoying live (though I think there are several other songs from the album that would be even more suited to a live setting which they haven't yet played for some reason). Afterwards, Flans said they should play it again because there had been some sort of sound coming off the amp during it (I didn't hear anything). He said it reminded him of playing at the 9:30 Club, "where the PA liked to jam with us." Then a couple of crew guys came out to set up new amps, and Flans seemed pretty upset by them having to do this in the middle of the show. He said that one of them was "on the lam from the FBI" and that the other (Jon Carter, one of the very few crew members I can recognize just because he's been working with them forever) is from Vermont and is "made of pure maple syrup."

Flans said they only had a couple more songs to get through before the break between sets. John suggested they take the break now cos of the technical difficulties, but Flans didn't want to for some reason.

To kill time they started talking about Tony Robbins again. Flans said, "He doesn't have an asterisk, but I think he's icing," and that "his head and body are huge. He's going to join the Marvel team." John said he would be saying "How do you fucking feel now?," and Flans said he would be saying "Admit it, Hulk, your mom never loved you!" Then they were asking if the amp was working now and were apparently told that it had been working for several minutes. John: "They're waiting for us!"

So then they played "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal," and as usual I was completely rocking out. And then they played "Birdhouse in Your Soul," and I was thinking that I didn't know if I could handle rocking out to that one when I'd already rocked out so hard to the previous one. But rock out I did!

The second set started the usual way: the "Last Wave" video, then the Quiet Storm section beginning with "Older." John was doing the amusing/creepy pointing as he sang it thing again.

Afterwards, Flans said this section of the show features electronic drums, trumpet, and his "haunted mic chip," followed by some silly sounds.

They played "I Like Fun," then Flans introduced "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" in a way I haven't heard him do it before. He said that these are "contentious times, troubling times" and this next song is an election song from 1840 and is  "mean-spirited and super-hostile," so we should take this as evidence that things being that way now isn't new and "things get better, then they get shittier again, but that doesn't mean it's over." I thought this was an interesting way of thinking of it, and I wonder if it was part of the motivation for them bringing the song into the set.

So they played the song, and then John introduced "James K. Polk" in the same way he has been (with some variation)--by saying that this song is from WAY IN THE FUTURE of 1844, where there are "flying driverless beards" and "electric buggy whips."

After they finished, they bowed, and when they stood all the way up again John said he should finish the bow by playing a flourish on his accordion. I know he was just being silly, but I actually thought that would be cool.

Then they were joking again about the "haunted mic stand." John: "When they got home they found that the mic stand was attached to the car handle somehow!"

Then Flans said their next song was going to be from 1848, and sang the silly "Zachary Taylor has a tail" song he made up the night before. Then he said their next song was from 1852, but neither of them could remember who was president then. Someone yelled that it was Pierce. Flans said he couldn't think of anything to make up about him, and John said he was one in a string of crappy presidents. Flans asked him how, and he said he did things that were contributing factors to the start of the Civil War (I was as always quite excited to hear him showing off his intellect). Then he said his son died in a train wreck so they weren't really allowed to make fun of him, which led to some silence and nervous laughter. Flans: "I think we should take a moment of silence for how badly we're managing this part of the show. It's gone completely off the rails." (Perhaps not the best choice of words in light of what was just said...)

Then they played MY THEME SONG, and it was incredibly special and moving and emotional for me just like every other time I've seen it.

After "Istanbul," Flans started introducing "Bills, Bills, Bills." Once again he was talking about "Tubthumping" first, and some people were cheering, presumably thinking they were going to play that one instead. "For those of you not applauding, don't worry, we're not going to play that song. Because it is a song that, once heard, cannot be unheard."

After "Particle Man" and "The Famous Polka," Flans introduced "Wicked Little Critta" by saying, "Though we're from New York City, we have deep origins in New England. Haunted, cranky, emotionally unavailable New England."

Afterwards, Flans said the next song features Dan on acoustic guitar. John: "It features the word 'feature' as well." Then Flans said Marty only plays kick drum for the whole song, and they tried to talk him into playing other things but he refused.

At some point the chandeliers had turned off, and Flans was saying he wanted them to come on again. People started chanting "Jellyfish! Jellyfish!" I saw Flans saying it too, but I didn't hear him say it at the beginning and I wasn't looking at him right then, so I'm not sure if he was actually the one who started it or if it just started spontaneously in the crowd and then he picked up on it. Then he said that whoever was in charge probably wasn't going to listen because "they might think the band Jellyfish is reuniting." Then: "It's clear someone is on their break." But then they did come on and everyone cheered.

After "Number Three" and "Answer," Flans introduced "Man, It's So Loud in Here" by saying that a few months ago they'd done a Mink Car show. "We played all the songs we know how to play. We left out the ones we don't know how to play, cos we thought that might be socially awkward."

Next was "Twisting" (rocked my face off, as always), and then it was time for band intros. Flans introduced Curt, Dan, and Danny, then he said, "Well, that just about does it!" John was really amused. But then of course he did actually introduce Marty after that, he was just pretending to have forgotten him to be funny.

They closed out the main set with "Doctor Worm," which was superfun as usual.

When they came back for the first encore, they had the house lights on.

JL: Now you know how it feels for us. JF: Confess! I want to do a special long-distance dedication to the guy flipping double birds. I know where you're coming from. I just keep it inside.

Then Flans was saying that in the dressing room they have a poster from some time the Black Crowes (man, this show was just full of pop culture references that went entirely over my head) played five nights in a row, which makes it seem like not such a big deal for them to do two.

The first encore was the same as the previous two nights: "Dead" followed by "Don't Let's Start." Even though it was no longer a surprise at this point, I was still ecstatic to see them playing two of my all-time favorite songs back-to-back.

When they were backstage again between the first encore and the second, I was trying to figure out what the second encore might be. At the previous two shows it was "Doctor Worm," but they'd already played that one so that couldn't be it this time. I decided that I'd love it if it was "No One Knows My Plan," cos I really wanted to conga again.

So they came back and Flans said, "We just have one more song. It's a dance party. We're done thinking, it's time to start dancing." And then they played "The Guitar," which yeh makes a great closer and normally I would've been perfectly contented with it, but since the idea had come into my head minutes before I'd just really had my heart set on "No One Knows My Plan," and Flans's "just one more song" absolutely ruled the possibility out.

But then! But then!! They surprised me by ACTUALLY PLAYING IT!!! I was SO EXCITED. Congaing during that song is seriously THE MOST FUN FUCKING THING EVER. The first two times I got to do it the people in front of me jumped out halfway through the song and I couldn't see where I could get in again, but this time I got to do it for the whole song, and it was so fun. Towards the end two parts of the line were passing by each other and we just all started high-fiving as we went by each other, and I was thinking that we knew how to have a real good time as opposed to all the people who were just standing around watching and MISSIN' OUT. A truly fantastic ending to a fantastic show!

The all-important JL wardrobe report: the same long-sleeved black shirt as the night before for the main set, but a black-and-white stripey t-shirt for the encores.

[sztupy]

Irvine Welsh - The Sea @ Malmaison, 1 Tower Pl, Leith, Edinburgh, Scotland

The sea indirectly facilitated my transition from boy to man. More accurately, it stopped me from becoming the grown up I probably would have been. But strictly speaking my fate was decided not so much by the oceans themselves, but by another man from the port of Leith who had allowed the tides to define him. Like him, I was born very close to the water, but unlike him, I very rarely saw it. From our vantage, first from Leith tenement then Muirhouse flat, ‘the sea’ was visible only as the oily, dark, Firth of Forth, a river long gone tidal since its weaving adolescence in the Trossachs, as it bled slowly into the frozen North Sea.

The port and associated north Edinburgh schemes could occasionally be difficult terrain for a fledging (self described, they all are) intellectual. That horrendous archetype who wrote terrible poetry and wanted to seduce the kind of beautiful girl you saw on television, rather than (strictly) the ones next door. (This largely because you didn’t like the way she always wanted to hang out with her mum and big sister and looked at her latter’s children, and then to you, with challenging intent.) The girls on TV and in the movies, or the ones you saw up the toon at the festival, lived in different worlds, seemingly free from such oppressive ties. Those were the worlds I wanted access to. Meanwhile, the scheme ploughed on with its beautiful, raucous dramas that invigorated and frustrated in equal measure. Role models for masculinity were abundant and fascinating, but generally limited. That was my own fault: I always asked for and expected a hell of a lot more from life than most.

Of course, I wasn’t just an arty ponce. I loved football and boxing and music (I was only average at them all, which is worse than being bad, you simply stick around longer for more humiliation) and I could curse and drink with the best of my fellow spotty apprentices. I possessed a sharp and caustic tongue, which I sensed better fighters were often wary of. I tried on all the clothes; hard man, fanny merchant, joker, intellectual, politico, sharp dresser, drug addled waster, but none fitted correctly, and none would until I added the other special ingredient that made me more comfortable in my own skin. I had always craved the endless possibilities of travel. I wanted romance with somebody whose brother I didn’t know, someone who never baby sat for her younger siblings or her sister’s kids. I wanted to access lives I only had a vague idea ever existed. I was far from unhappy with my own life, in fact I loved it. I just wanted variety. I was curious.

It was one particular man of the sea who helped provide that pass. Let’s call him JL. He was a stick thin Samuel Beckett clone, a mate of my dad and uncle. A bunch of those ‘old boys’ as we called those men in their forties then, all from the docks, shipyards and maritime fleet, drank in the Marksman Bar in Duke Street. The old industrial working classes may have been on their way out, but back then they still ruled supreme. Unlike the dockers, who talked of thieving, and the tooled up shipyard workers at Robb Caledon, who talked violence, JL spun tales of the merchant seaman’s life, spiced with the intoxicating promise of sex and travel. It struck me fondly back then that young men need an uncle figure to tell them about carnal affairs. Your own dads are too embarrassed: "find a nice lassie, treat her right, and dinnae bring shame on this hoose" are admirable sentiments to live by, but also a little limiting. A road map to the good life they do not constitute on their own. Not for a poncy arty type.

JL had a different approach. His life was the sea, as it offered him freedom from not just confinement, but from attachment. He would move close in and advise us in his Grouse whisky breath, one eye shut, the other outrageously open, "get up the toon and fire intae they posh festival birds. Dinnae waste your time wi some wee hing oot fae The Spiral, you’ll never leave the scheme that wey." I sensed that JL was particularly directing those sentiments towards me. In my complete engagement, he read a fellow wandering soul. But like him, I didn’t so much want to leave the scheme as take it with me all around the world.  Out of the thirty or so of us who went to see our dads and the old boys for a pint before going our way on a pub crawl, which culminated in the Spiral or even some disco up the toon, only two of us, myself and three or four others, including the best looking guy in the mob, ventured as far as the Royal Mile and the pop up festival clubs. The other lads, (and they will probably kick fuck out of me for saying this), I think were a wee bit intimidated. It was out of their comfort zone.

JL however, was on hand to provide advice for every possible outcome of our romantic adventures. I recall one particular contention which was highly idiosyncratic and not empirically correct, but like all raconteurs, he knew that loose words spoken with conviction have a dynamism and charge that supersedes their content. ‘Wi posh birds you have to love them like thir cabin boys,’ he informed us. ‘Portuguese cabin boys are the best.’ When some of the other old guys heard this they would nervously bark: ‘Dinnae listen tae um. He’s talkin nonsense. He’s winding ye up.’

But I detected the strong waft of truth in his pithy disclosures.

We would later learn that JL had two families, one back in Granton and the other in Montevideo, or ‘Monty’ as he called the Uruguayan capital, in his unmistakable gravelly tones. And yes, it transpired that there was also a lover who was Portuguese, whom he’d worked with on several ships. This man came to Leith to find JL, probably to confront him about his treachery, perhaps bribe him or elicit some sort of commitment, (in the late seventies homosexual acts in Scotland were still illegal) but strangely, or perhaps not so, ended up lodging for several years with JL’s long suffering wife, EL. Of course, JL himself was gone. "Probably got another boat" his mates in the Marksman would mumble, resolutely set in non grass mode. But yes, it was inevitable that the old craggy couponed dog would be back at sea, or perhaps in ‘Monty’, with his second family. Or maybe there was a third set of kin somewhere, and I can see his progeny in Shanghai or Marseilles, briefly looking up from the mischief they were indulging in, perhaps wistfully gazing out to the sea. Wondering about its possibilities, and if they will ever allow it to make them.

It certainly helped to make me, for better and for worse, if only by the proxy of JL. I was on a train to London at sixteen and then a plane to New York at nineteen. I’ve never stopped moving since and it’s all down to JL and those strange lessons he gleaned from the sea.

About the creative team

Writer: Irvine Welsh was born in Edinburgh and is an acclaimed Scottish writer of novels, stories and stage and screenplays. He is most notably known for his novel, Trainspotting, written in 1993 that was eventually adapted into a film directed by Danny Boyle. More books have followed, Ecstasy and Filth being two that went straight to No 1 on the Sunday Times best-sellers list. He also branched into film and is a partner in two film production companies.

Visual Designer and Filmmaker: Norman Harman is an award-winning artist from Edinburgh. A graduate of Edinburgh College of Art, and winner of the RSA Latimer Prize for Painting, Harman's work has been exhibited internationally and he is a member of the art collective Ltd Ink Corporation. Harman’s practice incorporates painting, photography and moving image; exploring the discordant interference between analogue and digital processes. Deliberate digital misrepresentation reveals the beauty of lost transmissions and corrupted imagery. Harman's work allures to the space between abstraction and figuration through painting, digital and film.

Composer: Steve Mac is a music producer and DJ with over 25 years of experience in the music business. He began his career as a scratch mix DJ at the age of 11, but he is best known for being one half of the house music duo, Rhythm Masters. He often collaborates with Irvine Welsh on various music projects and have recorded 2 albums together. They are now taking the project live to the stage with many festival dates booked in for 2020.

About this location

Built in 1883, this building was originally a seaman’s mission which provided accommodation for sailors whose ships were in the Leith port, historically one of Scotland’s most important ports over the centuries. Over time, the building became known as a “house of ill repute,” but in 1994 it was bought and renovated by Malmaison, marking one of the first of many transitions to the Shore area of Leith. This was the first and remains the flagship hotel of this UK-based chain of boutique hotels.