#The Gastronomical Me

[justforbooks]

Fisher’s pioneering “gastrography” or “foodoir” won plaudits on its 1943 publication. Most famously from one of greatest poets of the 20th century. “I do not know of anyone in the United States who writes better prose”, wrote WH Auden. Fisher’s story is about her personal experience of food and the pain of war. She writes richly and variously of food and communion, of “the warm round peach pie and the cool yellow cream”, of how she “ate bread on a lasting hillside” or “drank red wine in a room now blown to bits”. An extraordinary combination of travelogue and feminism, strawberry jam and oysters, fascists and refugees, love and hunger.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[dandelioninajungle]

[mayasaura]

The little professor did not take well to the cone of shame

[mxxnkirby]

resources page almost done! link to fun little things plus lil summaries on i11egal streaming and torrenting! might add a themes section for tumblr n neocities

dinner -> white rice with corn (500?)

we also went to a new grocery store that opened and has complimentary baby cucumbers! (20?).

total -> 520?

I feel like a lot of asian and hispanic cuisine overlaps just because we each have staple recipes for things like chicken, rice, and seafood; staple ingredients for each culture. When I say stir-fried, people think of east asia which is why I usually say "guiso". Same goes with the name "white rice". Most east asian stir fried white rices I've had use the same grain as us (jasmine) but have a milder taste when first cooked so seasonings can be added when stir fried. In the rice my mom makes, the rice is first stir fried until "toasted" and then cooked in a broth made of blended vegetables/seasonings. Different and both valid ways of cooking rice, but I can't just say "white rice" since it gives people (ESPECIALLY american people) the wrong idea though I haven't really found a way to say it that's true to the name but also differentiates the cultures..."arroz blanco"?"mexican white rice"?

[seat-safety-switch]

Frying up a grilled cheese sandwich is one of life's most noble pleasures. Sometimes, though, I feel guilty. What about all my ancient ancestors, who never had a chance to partake in this gastronomic delight? It's not their fault that nobody had yet invented "cheese," or "hot."

In the interest of righting this wrong, I decided to build a time machine. Anyone who knows anything about building time machines will tell you that it's very hard, and maybe even impossible. Good thing I'm a dumbass, and figured it all out. Soon, I was ripping back thousands of years into the past, to feed my predecessors some compressed dairy-and-bread product.

I stumbled out of the machine, dazed. Before me was a glorious medieval feast. Knights and wenches sat around a giant table, eating turkey legs the size of a man's. This, I knew, must be the time of King Arthur. Soon, they would have a new king: the grilled cheese guy. I immediately began forking them out off the silver platter I had carried into the time machine.

"What the fuck, is this mayonnaise?" asked one of the brave knights.

Of course it was mayonnaise. Its thin spreading makes a more even crust for the browni-

"I can't have this. I'm lactose intolerant," shrieked one of the wenches.

Friends, I would like to leave you with two pieces of advice. One is that just because a 1999 Chevrolet Cavalier in silver looks like a Delorean, it doesn't make it one. Especially if you don't take the cardboard sunscreen ("temporal shield") off the windshield and then drive through a Renaissance Faire. Two is that you should use mayonnaise for your grilled cheese sandwiches. That dude talked a lot of shit, but then I saw him get his block knocked off in the jousts afterward. At least I'm not picking fights with dudes in ringmail, Reginald.

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTIKTOK TRENDS⁴ * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　4 times that Y/N and Chris made a couple's trend on tiktok.

FEATURING　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　none.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

A/N²　::　part 1 || part 2 || part 3

1. Watch my boyfriend for me

It was a balmy summer night, and the city lights glistened off the glass walls of the charming Italian restaurant where Y/N and Chris were dining. The restaurant's facade exuded rustic elegance, adorned with hanging green plants and softly twinkling string lights that created a warm, romantic atmosphere.

Y/N had come to the restaurant with a playful plan in mind. She had seen a viral TikTok trend where people left their partners alone at the table with a recording camera, asking viewers to "watch" them while they went to do "something." It seemed like the perfect opportunity to have some fun with Chris.

While they enjoyed their meal, Y/N discreetly took her phone from its spot on the table. Unlocking it, she quickly opened the TikTok app, which was prominently displayed among her most used apps. With a mischievous grin, she hit the record button.

Her eyes flicked to Chris, who was engrossed in his pasta, before she propped her phone against a glass Coca-Cola bottle, adjusting the angle to frame him perfectly.

"Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend real quick while I go to the bathroom?" Y/N said in a low tone, trying to suppress a giggle as she stood up and headed towards the bathroom, not glancing back at the bewildered Chris.

Chris, mid-chew on a hefty forkful of pasta, looked up, watching her walk away with a puzzled expression. He then shifted his gaze to the phone screen, his brow furrowing.

He delicately set his cutlery down, adjusting his black cap in a nervous gesture.

"Hey guys... I think Y/N is making some kind of video." He muttered after swallowing his food, resting his right elbow on the wooden surface of the square table and laying his chin on his palm, his blue eyes fixed on the screen. "Caught me with my mouth full, sorry about that."

Chris glanced around the restaurant, a hint of nervousness replaced by curiosity.

"So, since you're here, let me tell you what we're up to. We're at this new Italian place in Los Angeles. The decor here is amazing, really cozy and authentic." He gestured with his free hand, indicating the charming details around him that the camera couldn't capture. "We had bruschetta to start... Did you know it was originally a way to use up old bread? They toast it, rub garlic on it, and top it with tomato and basil... Delicious."

His eyes lit up as he described one of his favorite appetizers.

"Now, about the main dishes, since it's Saturday night, we figured we could indulge a bit." He continued with a chuckle. "Y/N ordered lasagna. Classic choice, right? Pasta, meat, tomato sauce, cheese... You can't go wrong." He pointed to Y/N's plate, observing momentarily the remaining piece of lasagna. "I got the carbonara, one of my all-time favorites. Loads of bacon, so good."

Chris picked up his fork, filling it with the food from his plate and twirling some carbonara for the camera to see.

"I've had a tradition on Saturdays of taking Y/N out to dinner since the beginning of our relationship, and there's something special about going out to dinner in a new place, you know?" Chris commented warmly. "It's a little gastronomic adventure. Oh, and the music! They're playing something in Italian."

He paused, pointing his fingers upwards, letting the camera pick up the soft, melodic tunes playing in the background. He began to sway his head to the rhythm, clearly enjoying himself.

"Cool, right? Also, we always order different dishes so we can share and try more things." He added, laughing. "Though I usually end up eating half of Y/N's, and she always gets mad at me for it." His eyes sparkled with affection as he spoke about her, shaking his hear jokingly. "Talking about her, her food's going to get cold if she takes much longer."

He lowered his head, frowning as he looked between his plate and hers, refusing to eat until she returned.

"She just said she was going to the bathroom and left you with me. Not sure what she's up to." He shrugged, eyes darting back to the screen. "But tell me a little about yourselves..."

He pretended to listen to the viewers' imaginary responses, nodding thoughtfully.

"I think this is a TikTok trend. Y/N's been obsessed with these lately." Chris said, changing the "topic" abruptly, rolling his eyes playfully.

Just then, Y/N returned to the table, quickly grabbing her phone and trying not to laugh at Chris's expression.

"Thanks, guys. I hope he behaved." She said happily, smiling and waving at the camera.

"Hey, I'm the best boy around, alright?" Chris retorted, grinning widely.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

2. Serving myself a little bit of food and telling my boyfriend that's all we have left

The house was a haven of quiet on that early afternoon. With Nick and Matt away on business for their channel, set to last all day, Y/N and Chris found themselves with a rare stretch of time alone. Deciding against the hassle of preparing a new meal, they settled on enjoying the leftovers from the previous day's lunch.

"I'm going to put the dishes together, honey." Y/N called, already making her way to the door of their shared bedroom after hearing Chris’s stomach rumble in protest as they watched a random and new action movie.

"Alright, I'll be there in a few." Chris responded, not taking his eyes off the screen, where a heated scene of racing cars and guns shooting occurred, his hands reaching blindly for the remote on the bedside table.

With Chris still in the bedroom, Y/N seized the opportunity to record a new TikTok trend that had been flooding her For You Page in the last few days. She fished her phone out of the front pocket of her Fresh Love hoodie, positioning it strategically on the wooden surface of the dining table to capture both the plates and Chris’s reaction, as well as her own figure. Her fingers worked quickly to unlock the device, find the app, and start recording, lowering the screen brightness to its minimum.

While waiting for Chris, Y/N prepared two plates: Chris's, as usual, was generous, laden with a large portion of each meal item. For herself, she placed just a few spoonfuls of each, creating a stark contrast between the two.

When Chris finally appeared in the kitchen, he moved with a relaxed grace to his usual chair, his stomach growling in the quiet of the room, sitting down.

"Finally!" He exclaimed, rubbing his palms together in excitement as he watched Y/N place the plates on the table and sit down beside him. "I was so-" His sentence cut off abruptly as he noticed the disparity in the amount of food on their plates. His brow furrowed as his eyes darted between the two servings.

"I hope it's still good." Y/N said with a small smile, lifting her right arm to reach for her cutlery, her fingers closing around her fork.

"No, wait." Chris stopped her, raising his hand to hover over her plate, his concern evident. "What?"

Feigning confusion, Y/N put down her fork and looked up at him, frowning.

"What what?"

"Weren't you starving?" Chris asked, his voice tinged with worry as he looked her over, his eyes searching for any signs of discomfort.

"No, babe, I'm not that hungry." Y/N shook her head, offering a reassuring smile.

"Are you feeling sick?" Chris's concern deepened, his blue eyes scanning her figure anxiously.

"I'm fine, sweetheart." Y/N insisted, her tone light.

"Babe, this isn't normal." Chris pointed to her plate. "Even on days when you have no appetite, you don't eat this little."

"I need to reduce the amount of food I eat." She invented, using the first excuse that her brain could think of.

"Tell the truth, Y/N. Do you want to go to the hospital?” Chris's worry was palpable as he prepared to stand, but Y/N quickly grabbed his wrist, stopping his next movements.

"Why, Chris? I told you, I'm fine-"

"Then why did you put so little food on your plate?" Chris interrupted, his concern mounting.

"Babe, we just... It's because that was all that was left from yesterday. We ran out of food." Y/N finally revealed, looking down in false shame.

"What do you mean? Is the food gone?" Chris's disbelief was clear. Despite his bigger appetite, he would never allow his girlfriend to go without. "Baby, stop it. Are you crazy? I'm not going to eat all this while you have so little just because our food runs out."

He stood up abruptly, the sound of the chair scraping against the floor echoing sharply in the quiet room. His large hands moved quickly to switch their plates, placing the larger serving in front of Y/N.

"No, Chris! That's all that's left, really! I want you to eat what I gave you." Y/N protested, curving her spine above the wooden surface, her hands hovering in the air.

"Babe, you're hungrier than me. I already ate, you didn't." Chris lied, sitting down again, receiving a surprised look from Y/N. She knew he hadn't eaten anything, just like her.

"What did you eat?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"I had one of those Bold protein bars you always eat." Chris claimed, pointing towards the cabinet above the sink behind his back.

"But, there's no more bar-"

"Of course there is, or was, I ate the last one." Chris interrupted, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

"Babe..." Y/N's heart warmed, her eyes softening. "Let's split it then, okay?"

"No, petal, I want you to eat all of this." He insisted, pointing at the plate that was once his. "How did all the food even run out?"

"I needed to go to the grocery store today, but I wanted to spend the day with you." Y/N explained, her tone tender, her bottom lip jutting out in a little pout.

"It doesn't matter, babe. Just because the food is gone doesn't mean you should eat this little. It looks like bird food." Chris's voice rose with worry, his hands moving to adjust his cap nervously.

"It's no problem, honey, I promise." Y/N argued, moving to switch the plates again, but Chris stopped her.

"Babe, wait, no! Let's go out? Let's go out to eat, hm? Where do you want to go?" Chris's desperation was clear, his blue eyes searching hers. "Let's go out, like a date, yeah?"

Y/N's features brightened instantly, a smile spreading across her lips as small drops of tears appeared in the corners of her eyes, her heart fluttering inside her chest, feeling like she was falling in love all over again.

"A date, babe?" Her voice sounded airy.

"That's right, let's go out for lunch somewhere special. You choose the place and the food, okay?" Chris asked softly, watching her closely, pushing the plate of food in front of him away.

"Yeah." Y/N looked down, her cheeks heating up with a rosy blush.

"Great, I'll get my wallet," Chris said, rising from his seat calmly this time, curving his upper body so that his face was close to her head, sealing the top of it with his lips momentarily, exhaling the soft smell of shampoo. "You heard me?"

"Yes, okay," Y/N nodded quickly, sniffling softly, observing her boy step away. "I love you."

"I love you more, bunny. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay."

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

3. Testing my boyfriend if he was an Uber driver

Chris adjusted himself in the leather driver's seat, trying to keep a straight face. His eyes flicked towards Y/N’s phone, checking if it was recording him. A few seconds later, the sound of the back door opening echoed inside the vehicle, and Y/N appeared, sliding into the seat where Nick usually sat during their car videos. She did her best to look like a complete stranger.

"Good afternoon! Are you Chris from Uber?" she asked, adopting a foreign accent. Her head lifted, catching Chris's upper body twisted towards the back seat, his eyes fixed on her. "Why are you looking back like that, Chris?" Y/N yelled, playfully smacking the back of the driver’s seat.

"But I was just-"

༻

"Hey!" Y/N’s voice cut through the brief silence, settling back into the leather seat with a dramatic sigh.

"Good afternoon! Would you like some candy or gum?" Chris greeted, taking his right hand off the steering wheel and reaching towards the car’s console. He pulled out a small box of mints from the cup holder, lifting it up with a flourish.

"Why are you offering candy to the girl, Christopher?" Y/N crossed her arms, her eyes darting from the box to Chris's face and back again before she rolled her eyes and turned around, pretending to get out of the car.

"Sometimes people have bad breath, babe-"

༻

"Hi! Good afternoon. How are you?" Y/N chirped as she got into the car again, a broad smile lighting up her face.

She adjusted herself in the seat, but as she did, her head bumped against the roof of the car.

"Ouch! I hit my head." She burst into laughter, her right hand instinctively reaching up to rub the sore spot, her eyes closed as giggles escaped her lips.

Chris quickly turned back, his eyes wide with concern and amusement. His lips trembled as he tried to suppress his laughter.

"Do you want me to take care of you, miss-" His sentence was cut short by a loud slap, Y/N's free hand playfully hitting his shoulder. "Ouch! Sorry!"

༻

"Hey, good afternoon!" Chris began this time, his eyes fixed on the garage door in front of the car. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, swallowing hard.

"Hi, how are you?" Y/N adjusted herself in the seat, leaning forward so that she was perched on the edge. She leaned her upper body against the back of the driver’s seat, raising her right arm and resting her hand lightly on Chris’s shoulder, giving it a sensual squeeze.

"Do not touch me!" Chris raised his right arm roughly, trying to shake off Y/N’s hand without success. "If you knew my girlfriend, ma'am, you wouldn't dare. She could be nearby right now, you know?" He pretended to look around desperately, finally managing to push Y/N’s hand away. "She's going to kill you."

༻

"Hi, good afternoon! Can I sit in the front?" Y/N asked, already sitting in the back seat, leaning over the console and pointing to the passenger seat.

"You can’t, ma'am." Chris shook his head quickly, keeping his eyes fixed forward.

"But there's no one there. You must feel so lonely." Y/N pouted, looking into the rearview mirror, trying to catch Chris’s eyes.

Chris moved suddenly, lifting his right leg over the gear lever and resting his foot on the floor of the passenger seat.

"Don’t worry, miss, that’s not a problem. I take both seats, you see?" He glanced at the rearview mirror, losing his balance and accidentally pressing the horn, its loud sound echoing through the garage.

༻

"Excuse me, sir, there's a little thing in there! Let me clean it for you." Y/N, already inside the car and leaning between the passenger and driver seats, murmured. Her right hand lightly grabbed Chris's chin, turning his head towards her.

Chris let her, his blue eyes meeting hers. His pupils dilated as he watched her face, his lips parting slightly as he felt his heartbeat increase its pace. He tilted his head closer, their mouths brushing for a brief moment.

"Christopher Sturniolo, are you going to kiss your passenger?!" Y/N suddenly pulled away, hitting his shoulder hard.

"It was an accident, babe-"

༻

"Sir, do you like brunettes?" Y/N asked, leaning over the back of the driver's seat and laying the side of her face on the headrest. She kept her eyes fixed on Chris, biting her bottom lip lightly, trying to convey an air of seduction.

"No, miss, I like bald ones." Chris quickly responded without looking at her, causing Y/N to burst into laughter.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

4. I can't go out

"I can't go out."

Y/N lay sprawled on the bed she shared with Chris, the soft, inviting sheets cradling her body. Her phone hovered above her, capturing her every move as she began to lip-sync to the familiar audio. The screen’s glow bathed her face in a gentle, almost ethereal light, accentuating the gleam in her eyes and the subtle curve of her lips, painted with a delicate pink gloss.

"Cough, cough." She murmured as she feigned illness, her free hand coming up, fingers curling into a delicate fist that she brought to her lips, a playful, exaggerated expression dancing across her features. "I'm sick." She finished, the mock severity in her face making her eyes sparkle with mischief.

She shifted the phone slightly, widening the view just as Chris’s strong arm snaked into the frame. His biceps, taut and defined, flexed dramatically, the play of muscles under his skin evident and undeniably captivating.

His skin was warm around her neck, the faint scent of him - a mix of his natural aroma and the lingering trace of his Dior cologne - intoxicating her senses. The pressure of his bicep against her cheeks made her bite down on her lower lip, her teeth digging into the soft flesh to stifle the smile, threatening to break free.

Her body responded instinctively to his closeness, a shiver of excitement coursing down her spine. She tilted her head slightly, her hair cascading over his arm like a silken waterfall, each strand catching the light in a mesmerizing display.

She was so lucky.

© vanteguccir

[dunmesh]

On food and the memories of home and love; coming home again by chang-rae lee / a meeting by wendell berry / africa is not a country: breaking stereotypes of modern africa by dipo faloyin / the gastronomical me by M.F.K fisher / a story about chicken soup by louis simpson / cassandra: a novel and four essays by christa wolf / the orange by wendy cope / no title by @filmnoirsbian / little weirds by jenny slate / opposites attract (tomorrow w/o her) by kendrick lamar / chocolate chip pancakes by caitlyn siehl / winter morning by james crews / "civilization", then the war: and selected poems, 2007-2020 by carl phillips / the essence of peopling by sarah perry / in the house with no doors by sarah kay

[noticiasarquelogicasjaponesas]

Sean bienvenidos, japonistas arqueológicos, a una nueva publicación, en la que vuelvo a hacer una crítica a la moda japonesa y a las personas que creen que pueden denominar o asignar el término osushi (おすし), sin ningún conocimiento del mismo. Lo único que pretendo es dejar las cosas claras y que menos que nadie se sienta ofendida. Una vez dicho esto, pónganse cómodos que empezamos. - ¿Qué es sushi? Suhi está compuesto de す que significa vinagre y し que significa arroz, por lo cual sería arroz avinagrado. Las imágenes que os voy a poner a continuación son un insulto a la gastronomía nipona y española. Esto no es sushi:

Lo siento pero eso para mi no lo es es una guarrada gastronómica.

Esto si es es Sushi:

VIVA JAPON Y SU GASTRONOMÍA LARGA VIDA A AMATERASU Y EL EMPERADOR BANZII.

-

Espero que os haya gustado y nos vemos en próximas publicaciones. que pasen una buena semana.

-

考古学の日本研究家の皆様、新しい投稿へようこそ。ここでは、日本のファッションと、おすしについて何も知らない��に「おすし」という用語に名前を付けたり割り当てたりできると信じている人々を再び批判します。私が望んでいるのは、物事を明確にし、少なくとも誰も不快に感じないようにすることだけです。そうは言っても、始める前にリラックスしてください。 - 寿司とは何ですか？ 「すひ」は酢を意味する「す」と米を意味する「し」で構成されているので、酢飯になります。以下に示す画像は、日本とスペインの美食に対する侮辱です。 これは寿司ではありません: 上の画像。 申し訳ありませんが、私にとってそれは美食の汚物ではありません。 さて、これが寿司です：上の画像。 - 日本とその美食万歳。天照大御神と万歳天皇万歳。

-

気に入っていただければ幸いです。今後の投稿でもお会いしましょう。良い一週間をお過ごしください。

-

Welcome, archeological japonists, to a new post, in which I once again criticize Japanese fashion and people who believe they can name or assign the term osushi (おすし), without any knowledge of it. The only thing I intend is to make things clear and that at least no one feels offended. Having said that, make yourselves comfortable because we are starting. - What is sushi? Suhi is composed of す which means vinegar and し which means rice, so it would be vinegared rice. The images that I am going to put below are an insult to Japanese and Spanish gastronomy. This is not sushi: images above. I'm sorry but for me that is not sushi, it is a gastronomic filth. This is sushi: images above.

-

LONG LIVE JAPAN AND ITS GASTRONOMY. LONG LIVE AMATERASU AND EMPEROR BANZII.

-

I hope you liked it and see you in future posts. Have a good week.

[kindredspiritsandgoodomens]

"Even memory is an act of imagination, you never tell the same story twice, not even to yourself" ~ Michael Burkard

This quote showed up on my dash and reminded me of The Rashomon Job and how interesting I find it that many people can watch the episode and walk away with the impression that we've been told the 'correct' or 'true' version of what happened that night, specifically by Nate.

And I get why. The team certainly lets him have the last word, and structurally we are used to the 'Nate's Eye View' dénouement being the point where we see a complex web of events finally make sense as a designed structure. But the multiple thefts of the dagger weren't part of a unified whole arranged by Nate, or by anyone - so maybe we should approach the usual conceit of revealing the scheme as seen through the eyes of the mastermind rather differently in this episode.

As an audience, we depend on Nate's ability to pull off the impossible just as much as the team do, and even though we (and the team) may roll our eyes at his god complex it's important for our continued investment that we (and they) manage to almost believe he's Just That Good. But the tell that his version of this particular story is not entirely without colour is that it's all just a little too neat.

When the storytelling starts, Nate's delighted. The minute he realises he can scoop them all, and even retroactively be the mastermind who puts it all together, he's just pleased as punch. "Why don't you all come over and I'll tell you what really happened." He says. You know, like a liar.

The first thing of note about Nate's Version is that he never went into the party, but still takes it upon himself to give them an authoritative reconstructed version of what went down based entirely on his own sense of how it would have happened, based on his understanding of the team and his assumptions about their behaviour. Naturally in Nate's Version Eliot and Sophie don't flirt even a little. Naturally in Nate's version it's going to be Eliot who takes Sophie's adulterated champagne glass, intended for Hardison, from Parker's tray, despite nobody else having specified anything about this detail (Eliot - the gastronome - wouldn't remember spitting out foul tasting champagne? Sophie wouldn't have noticed a key part of her plan going awry?). But this way it fits it all together like one of his plans, so naturally it's all going to be nice and neat.

Not content with imagining the entirety of the party sequence, he also entirely constructs a conversation between Coswell and the securty guard locked in the store room. Based on Nate's own description of his movements there's simply no way for him to know what went down in that room. We know from Parker that Coswell made his way into the vents, and we know how he got the climbing equipment, but would the Coswell of Nate's Version really go climbing into ducts? It's neat, but it's thin.

Coswell is really where we have to question the neutrality and authority of Nate's version the most. Not only because - even if we allow that IYS jackass Nate Ford did in fact perceive this security guy (probably most security guys) as an ineffectual irritant - he's clearly reacting to Sophie's contemporary jibe about Coswell's potentially superior intelligence by making the man a buffoon in his retelling. But, also, because believing him about Coswell's buffoonery requires us to accept that Parker, Eliot, Hardison and Sophie all massively overestimated an opponent on a job. Is that really plausible? Even if we allow for a percentage of exaggeration because they're thieves swapping stories in a bar, it doesn't add up. Hardison and Parker, who were young and mostly there for clout, maybe. Eliot and Sophie? No.

When they describe Coswell as brusque, efficient, and suspicious - and they corroborate each other, we should be very wary of Nate's entirely re-written character sketch of the man. Especially the idea that his behaviour could all be explained because he had a crush on Sophie. Sophie Devereaux - who can pick a mark's weakness of a driving license photo - not notice when the head of museum security has a crush on her? Not bloody likely.

Everything Nate remembers Coswell as actually saying could just as easily have been said by the version of Coswell the others describe. For instance, "I don't know much about gold but I know it's not meant to do that." Could be silly - could be sardonic. Nate thinks he's an irritating pleb, so it's recounted as silly. But even in Nate's Version Coswell makes a good point about the dealer running. Again, it's neat, but it's thin.

As for the idea that the dagger fell from a vent directly into his hand? Well, as Hardison says, nobody's that lucky. Nate's showboating. He's embellishing and neatening his recounting of his own (biased) recollections just as much as the others, and he's doing it to reinforce his team's (and maybe his own) perception of him as slightly beyond the laws of chance, reason, and even physics. This episode is also one of the last times he denies that he's a thief - a tell if ever there was one.

Eliot and Sophie both express reservations, but they let him have it, because on some level they know that they need him to be that lucky. The whole house of cards only stays up if Nate really is That Good.

Plus, of course, none of the team's versions are without colour - and they all know it. Firstly, all perception is shaped by biases. So Sophie remembers different details than Eliot or Parker, because they look at the world differently and prioritise different kinds of contextual awareness, reasoning, and value judgements. Secondly, and more importantly, they're not just remembering and recounting what happened that night - they're all thieves telling stories to other thieves, to friends they want to wind up (the accents getting worse and worse, Sophie saying Coswell was maybe even smarter than Nate), impress (Hardison being the centre of female attention, Sophie getting a round of applause), or correct (Eliot and Sophie both claiming the other was the one doing all the flirting, when if we take Hardison's word...) But their descriptions of the sequence of events all line up reasonably well.

Ultimately they're all right about parts of it. Nate's probably right about Coswell being ineffectual by IYS standards. Sophie's probably right about his personality. Hardison's probably right about Eliot and Sophie flirting outrageously. Parker's probably right about her encounter with Coswell in the vents (she's not going to misremember vents). But we, the audience, don't see the One True Version of what happened that night.

That's why it's so nice when the episode ends with them all going to steal the dagger, properly, together. Because that's where the truth is. The truth that they're all thieves, telling stories in a bar. Even Nate. But when they're stealing things together they can defy the laws of chance, reason, and even physics. That's where they'll really see and understand each other, and that's what matters.

[cwwv9]

hey can u do bllk with the following prompt.

I think I read it somewhere, but basically kaiser and reader ordering pizza or take out and kaiser opening the door and the pizzap girl is like"damm can u give me ur number" reader hearing the commotion appears and the girl is like" wow, nevermind can u give me ur number gorgeous" then reader teasing kaiser later. U can do kaiser or any of the other boys

«Everything but your number»

— without gender!reader x michael kaiser

warning: slight hint of jealousy, hot water and a hot Kaiser, possible sudden portions of flirting and jokes, everyday fluff (many everyday details), does not contain explicit scenes, but Michael Kaiser, as always, does not know how to be modest

note: AAAAA MY FIRST REQUEST, I SCREAM!!! thank you very much for the request!!!!! I added a little booty from myself, but I hope you still like the result!

mailbox open for queries!!!!

It rained in the streets, as if it wanted to wash you off all day. The clothes clung to the body, the fingers trembled and the hair was heavy from the water when you knocked on the door. Michael opened, leaning lazily on a joint, and seeing you, his eyebrow bent with a contemptuous grin:

– Did you have a bath in the fountain? Or did you decide to play the dramatic character on the soundtrack?

– Can I just warm up and then you can make fun of me?

– Welcome to the five-star hotel of the Kaiser, he snorted, backing away, his shower to the right. Don’t forget to thank your savior.

You just popped something under your nose and hurried into the bathroom. Hot water was a real paradise after the ice storm outside. Meanwhile, while you were washing away your fatigue, Kaiser, wrapped up in his favorite robe with a thin waistband, opening the upper part of his body and always in search of the gastronomic ideal, ordered pizza.

Twenty minutes passed when the doorbell rang. Michael, as he was in the habit of taking his time, came up, opened the door with a single movement and stood before the messenger, who clearly did not expect that her shift would suddenly turn into a fanfic.

– Pizza in the name of... Kaiser? – she whispered, not taking her eye from his face.

– There was a light as always in everything. – He grinned, taking the box. But before closing the door, the girl lingered:

– Damn... can you give me your number?

Second. Another one. Michael squinted, obviously going to say something spiteful - and then you came out of the shower. In a huge towel around the body, hair still moist, curls stuck to the face, skin warm from the water, the body all relaxed - and just at that moment heard her voice:

– Wow... forget it. Can you give me YOUR number, pretty?

You blinked and then turned to Michael with a grin:

– Wow. Was that you ordering pizza or casting for the third in a relationship?

Kaiser rolled his eyes, taking the box and slamming the door in front of her.

– What a world, such and such standards, he rattled. – People lose their minds just looking at me. A little more - and she would have offered to stay the night.

You laughed, coming closer:

– Are you jealous?

– Me? PF. I’m above that. – He put the box on the table, but he still looked at you with his eyes gliding down your neck, his hair, as if only now to see what you looked like.

Pause.

– Although if someone else dares to stare at you like that... – he got closer, leaning towards your ear – they’d better book their ticket to hell right away. No return.

You laughed again, patting him on the shoulder:

– Okay, Kaiser. Relax. Pizza’s gonna get cold faster than you can make a drama.

– Never underestimate my ability for drama. – Michael sat down on the couch, undressing his robe and reaching for the remote. – But yes. You are more important now.

You joined, covering yourself in a warm blanket.

[lsd-astronaut]

First of all just wanted to say your writing is great and take your time with all your requests no rush! ❤️ I was wondering if you’d write some headcanons about the hobbit boys and bilbo with a hobbit plus sized/chubby reader? I’d image that body type is a lot more accepted for hobbits since they eat so much and honestly it might even be the beauty standard lol. I just think it’s sweet to imagine that my favorite hobbit boys would probably love me just as I am

After watching the movies for the first time yesterday, I can finally feel like an imposter no longer, and your request is well-received along with your fair praise, my lady lord liege. I absolutely adore writing about the hobbits and I shall have much fun with this.

The hobbits with a plus sized Hobbit!Reader (Headcanons)

Frodo

He is not considered quite attractive at all to the usual hobbit; his skin too pale, and his body a bit too thin for the beauty standards you can find in the Shire. For this reason, he never really expected to meet someone he could call his in exchange for being called theirs, and was quite content to being a bachelor for life.

That all changed when he met you. At first glance, he thought you to be very attractive. But, surely you would be busy fending off other people's advances. To his surprise, he constantly sees you on your own, in public scenes. Finally, on his birthday party, he decides to approach you and strike a conversation.

A few weeks later, and you find yourself spending most of your time with this curious hobbit. You are aware the tiniest bit that you two must look weird together, but Frodo's personality shines through and you wouldn't change him for anything. You tell him as much the moment he dares to officially ask you out.

Dating him goes pretty smoothly, but sometimes there are tiny rocks that get in your way. Whether the insecurities stem from you or him, it is a fact that they are there.

Frodo feels like you should be with anyone else, and you feel like Frodo should be with someone more knowledgeable than you. This initial obstacle gets swiftly solved after a much-needed conversation where both of you lie yourselves open to the other. Needless to say, you come out from it much more connected than before.

Frodo is not a very good cook; Bilbo was the one who mainly did the kitchen duty, and he did try to teach his favourite nephew, but Frodo was a free spirit and preferred to spend his days reading a book. Still, he tries to cook for you with the help of Sam, who is a surprisingly stern teacher in gastronomical matters.

Before the Quest, he loved lying his head down on your thighs, as their softness was bliss for him. Afterwards, the comfort is still there but you are aware of the sheer need that underlies Frodo's actions. Your softness feels like an anchor to something he thought he had lost by the Ring's hand.

Sam

The most conveniently attractive of the four hobbits, yet he is very shy and also of a lower class, so he does not have many suitors. He has accepted this fact as well as he could but his eyes still strayed to you whenever he saw you in The Green Dragon while he was hanging out with Frodo, Merry, and Pippin.

Once you start dating, you are the most adorable and famous couple in that part of the Shire.

You help him a lot to get out of his shell, and he really appreciates the effort you make, even if he sometimes think he is not worthy of it. Thoughts like that are not allowed in your household and so you make him leave that notion aside.

The lovesick glances do not stop throughout the relationship, no matter how much time passes. Sam loves you as much (or more) as he did the first time he saw you.

One of his love languages is physical touch but every time he does touch you, he will get so flustered and his face so red that you start wondering if maybe you should call a healer.

Cooks all your favourite foods for you because "someone as pretty as you should be healthy and eating enough."

Merry

Fuck, does this guy (hobbit) adore you.

Although he may seem a bit shallow, only caring about the external appearance, your personality was the biggest reason why he chose to get close to you and ultimately stay. However, your appearance did have an effect of him, let's be honest.

After returning to the Shire, he had lost a lot of his fat, and was pure muscle, which made him a bit conscious of lying down with you, thinking he was too uncomfortable for you to cuddle him.

Further from the truth, you cuddle him even more, and are the big spoon whenever he needs it, which is now more than before the Quest. He not so secretly loves it when you cuddle like this because he just feels like he is enveloped by pure love.

Should he hear even a peep of any insecurity that may plague you, he will make sure that you hear him talk wonders about you to other hobbits and big folk that he meets. You comfort him, and he does his due duty like a decent partner.

Pippin

Again, a rather skinny hobbit for the Shire beauty canon. He doesn't really care about it to be honest, he is just so happy to spend time with you.

Does not leave your side if he can help it. Constantly wants to show you off and will talk everyone's ear off if you don't stop him (preferably with a kiss).

Teases you a LOT by poking your tummy whenever he gets bored and you're sitting side by side.

Whenever you're cuddling, he will position himself on top of you and put his hands under your shirt, and just bask in your warmth, as he makes cookies like a very content cat. If you play with his hair in that position, he will start snoring in minutes.

After the Quest, he was even skinnier, which made you focus on your newfound goal: make sure your partner regained his lost weight. He adores your cooking, so he is really excited about it.

Bilbo

Your designated cook no matter what you say. He doesn't "trust these dwarves to make anything that would befit a hobbit." He does a fairly good job with what supplies he has during the journey to Erebor. It's not as good as what he would make at home in Bag End, but you assure him that the gesture just makes it taste wonderful.

If anyone is mean to you because of your appearance, which gets more frequent as you get further from the Shire, he will be on them like a hellhound. No one speaks about you in that manner, and if he ever did that, he would beat himself.

Whenever he is not complaining during the Journey, he will be listing in his head possible meals he thinks you would like. Ends up imagining your smile at his work, and Thorin is just wondering if Gandalf didn't make a mistake by choosing this hobbit as a burglar; why, he only whines, and blushes at nothing!

At what point am I just repeating myself five times? Anyways, I hope you like this! It took me sooo long so I'm sorry for that💕

[perfectlyoongi]

BOYFRIEND!JIN who gives you a new stuffed animal on every special date. it was already a tradition that came from when you were friends, but Jin simply couldn't get rid of that habit — not when there were so many different stuffed animals to give, not when he saw you always happy and returning to childhood times that left you feeling safe. “our family is growing! we are great parents. i am so proud of us.”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who insists on dressing up for halloween with you. from choosing your costume, to browsing stores, to trying on and laughing at each other, all the magic of halloween was precious to Jin, just because long days of laughter and planning and going out filled your schedule — it was like a constant cascade of good mood that he liked to see in you. “this year you choose the costumes! but can we please match? just so people can see that we’re together, you know?”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who wakes you up with chaste kisses half an hour before the alarm goes off, just so he can spend those thirty minutes loving you. hugging your body, hiding his face in your neck, Jin's lips released small kisses that covered your skin with infinite promises of eternal love. “good morning. it's still early, don't worry. let's just stay like this a little longer. together. please.”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who sends you selfies whenever he has the opportunity. when he is most beautiful or when he is most tired, when he wants to make you laugh or when he wants to remind you that he loves you, the choices were endless; your cell phone was full of exclusive photos of Jin that, on more complicated days, made you realize that the love between you was too intimate to be fake. “honestly, whenever i remember you and you're not with me, i feel the need to send you a photo. sorry about the amount by the way.”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who turns the music up to the maximum and sings duets with you while the two of you take care of the house. Jin made everything a party, because he knew it was good for your spirit; as such, Jin decided to turn the boring chores at home into something good, something to celebrate, something that would make you forget the tiredness they caused and make you focus only on the joy of the songs and screams. “next week, we’re going to make a set list as if it were a concert! oh! we can wear our matching pajamas! it’s going to be so fun.”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who likes to try new restaurants with you. it was almost like a mission for the two of you to find new restaurants in the cities you visited and lived, gastronomic curiosity being just an addition to moments well spent and memories created. “i think a new restaurant opened down the street. want to try it? if you don’t like it, i promise i’ll buy you a pizza.”

BOYFRIEND!JIN who said he loved you on your birthday before the day even started. the sun still painted your room melancholically when Jin gently woke you up; Jin's hand caressed your face, his lips formed into a smile as he saw you slowly waking up to a breakfast in bed and a confession that had been weighing on Jin's heart for a long time. “happy birthday, nugget. thank you for being in my life. i love you.”

[aphrmoosun]

[No words]

NOMAE ; Two Shot!

• Pair.

Noa and Mae

• Movie.

Kingdom of the planet of the apes

• Tags.

NoaxMae, yes it is a ship, dont read if you dont ship them, smutt, au, future, humans and apes politics, ape and human relation, Noa is an inocent ape, twoshot, relationship, Interspecies, strong language, honour apes, writer is not English native speaker, if you see errors tell me, etc

• Other Nomae fic.

You and Me

• Part 1.

DO NOT COPY OR SHARE IT ELSEWHERE WITHOUT PERMISSION!

Yours [second part]

The ape and the human were forced to commit to each other. Not that they were really forced, since after their first physical encounter, both were in agreement that their lives were dedicated to each other.

Noa's father was the one who opposed it the most. It wasn't normal to see a formal wedding between an ape and a human, but the political pressure around him, along with his own son's, had been enough to convince him.

For Mae, her life was starting to sound different. No interested boy came near her again. In fact, no boy at all. Noa had promised his father that he wouldn't touch her until they were married, and Mae didn't agree with that at all.

After that night, with barely an hour together, she had already gotten used to his hands and the way he touched her. And he refused to do it. Mae always initiated the approach. First, silly kisses, then touches on his hairy chest, and when she tried to go lower, Noa would run away to the nearest bathroom.

But that had to end.

Their wedding was being prepared by professionals hired by their parents, with a formal and political theme that came with it, which meant that their wedding would take place within two months to give them time to prepare everything.

Mae was sure she could corrupt her fiancé. She just needed a moment alone with him, in an intimate setting, with no one around to listen.

To do that, she planned the ice cream plan. With the excuse of wanting him to try that human gastronomic wonder, Mae managed to convince him to let her visit him at his home.

She had already bought the ice cream, and her hand trembled with excitement as she knocked on Noa's door.

He was the one who received her with a tender look. Mae hugged him, leaving the ice cream aside. Although the ape only half-responded to the hug, she didn't let go.

"Come, let's go to the living room."

Mae observed the house with curiosity. Due to the clan leader being close to humans and having economic power, there was a lot of human technology in the house, from TVs to computers and even a roomba.

"Are we alone?" Mae tried not to sound too excited.

"Yes, my mom went shopping, and Dad is never home during the day."

Noa could be so innocent when he wanted to.

For a moment, she felt bad about her plan to seduce him, but then she thought that it wouldn't hurt him, she just wanted to do what engaged couples did.

Noa led her to the living room, offering her a seat next to him.

"Here, I brought two types of ice cream for us to eat together."

She handed him a chocolate ice cream and took a tutti-frutti one for herself.

She watched him sniffing the ice cream, analyzing it with his gaze, and that made her laugh.

"Go on, try it. It's good."

Noa took her advice, taking a spoonful to his mouth, and she imitated him with her ice cream.

That's when she started to put her plan into action.

She knew Noa loved to look at her, especially her eyes, and she would take advantage of that. She lowered her gaze to her ice cream and left the spoon in her mouth, playing with it with her tongue. She didn't need to look at him to know he was watching her.

"Mae..."

"Yes, Noa?"

She felt him move uncomfortably on the couch.

"Are you going to give me some of that?"

"Hmm, yes, of course."

She took another spoonful of ice cream and brought it close to the ape, but when he was about to try it, she dropped the spoon, making the contents spill all over Noa's chest and lap.

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't worry, it was nothing."

He was going to clean himself with his hands, but she stopped him, grabbing them.

"Let me help you, it was my fault."

The human didn't think twice. She bent down to reach the ape's chest and started licking the ice cream. She knew how hairy apes could be, but it didn't bother her; on the contrary, that act had given her the opportunity to get close to his nipple, licking it in the process.

"Mae!"

Noa got up from the couch, leaving her leaning forward over it.

"We can't do that."

She couldn't respond because the ape was already heading towards another room in the house.

She assumed it was the bathroom, since he always did that every time she suggested something sexual. Mae suspected he was hiding his erection from her or going to relieve himself alone.

She wasn't going to let him do that this time.

She followed him closely, seeing that the room was his bedroom, with a door that he had closed behind him.

Mae tried to open the door, but Noa had locked it. So, surrendering, she sat on the ape's bed and was able to observe the room more closely.

There were posters of sci-fi movies featuring apes and humans. Others were of music groups.

But her gaze fell on the TV. The ape had a TV with a DVD player in it. And then it came to her mind. Noa had learned to touch her by watching a porn movie, which she assumed the ape still had.

She searched through the drawers of the nightstand, didn't find it. But she saw a box next to the closet, so she decided to look there.

Among music discs and Blu-ray movies, she managed to see a very graphic cover.

Happy, she jumped up and put it in the player.

In the movie, two humans could be seen. A boy on top of a girl. He was kissing her breasts and touching her while penetrating her with two fingers.

Mae felt a tingling sensation in her crotch and sat on Noa's bed. His bed. It was soft and smelled like him. She lay down on the bed, feeling his scent.

The room was filled with the girl's moans from the movie. And Mae couldn't resist anymore. She put a hand under her pants, moving her underwear aside, and started touching her clitoris. She caressed herself softly, feeling the wetness in her parts already.

She moved her head, resting her nose on Noa's pillow, and breathed in his scent. The movie faded into the background, her mind going back to the moment when Noa watched that movie, thinking of her. He must have masturbated watching it, thinking of how he would do all that to her.

"Noa, Noa."

She closed her eyes, letting go. Her free hand went up her jersey and bra, leaving one breast out, which she started to massage and touch with the rhythm of her other hand.

She was about to come. Her fingers moved faster, imagining they were Noa's. And with him in her mind, she came violently on his bed.

"Noa!"

That scream tore through her throat, unable to keep quiet.

The orgasm tensed her body, making her arch her back and close her legs abruptly due to the tension.

After a few seconds, she tried to calm her breathing. And when she could open her eyes, she found Noa in front of her.

"Noa." -she whispered, taking her hand out of her pants and trying to lower her bra.-

The ape was faster, sitting next to her and grabbing her hands, placing them above her head.

"Did you enjoy it?" -he asked, to which Mae only nodded, unable to speak.- "More than when I touched you?"

Mae could have denied it perfectly with her head, but she thought of having fun since he had found her like that. After all, that's what she wanted. For him to touch her again.

"More than when you touched me." -she found her voice, speaking softly.-

The ape didn't respond. He just got on top of her, looking into her eyes.

"I don't enjoy anything. Every time I go to the bathroom, I come back worse than before. My hands are so useless that I don't reach climax. The last time I did was because of your small and soft hands around my faro, and that's killing me. And on top of that, you come and touch yourself in front of my nose."

Noa didn't stop talking, and his hands accompanied everything he said. He started undressing her, taking off her jersey and finishing with her bra. He also pulled down her pants to her ankles, the same place where he put her underwear.

"I only think of your hands touching me, and that leaves me unsatisfied because I can't touch you. My hands burn, I touched myself thinking of you, and I don't reach climax because in reality, you're not touching me."

The ape started touching her, caressing her clitoris, sensitive from her previous orgasm.

"You can touch me, and I can touch you." -Mae tried to touch him, but the ape stopped her.- "Please, Noa. I'm yours. My body is mine, but it only responds like that because of you, because it's a traitor. I can't contain it every time I have you near. Neither my father nor yours can stop this."

Mae moved her hips, bringing her wet entrance to the ape's hard faro, and he sighed.

"Mae. I-I can't. If I can't live after letting you touch me with your hands, I don't want to imagine my life after being inside you."

"Please, Noa. In body and soul, I'm yours. If you take me today, I know it will be forever, just like if it's in two months. It doesn't matter when, but it's going to happen, and it doesn't matter if today or in two months. But it will happen, and it doesn't matter if you take me or not, I'm already yours."

Noa seemed moved by those words. The ape's eyes never left the human's.

Mae felt the tip of his virility in her already wet and ready entrance.

"Noa." -she grabbed his strong shoulders, arching her back.-

"Mae, my god, Mae."

The ape's words in her ear were enough to awaken the fire inside her.

He had stopped after inserting a few centimeters, and she needed him inside her completely.

Her hips moved forward, making him penetrate her more.

"Mae, Mae."

The ape of the eagle clan, known for his singing, was singing in her ear. Or at least that's what it seemed to her. A sweet melody that she was ready to enjoy.

Noa sank completely into her, making her scream his name. The ape didn't hold back and started moving inside her.

"Very... tight." -she heard him whisper.- "Please, Mae. I'm not going to last long!"

That information almost sounded like a plea to her. He was asking her to come before him so that he could finish inside her satisfied.

"Noa, Noa."

She squeezed his shoulders, moving her hips. There was no need for him to beg, since the moment he penetrated her, her vagina had started to contract. Each time with more intensity.

"Noa!"

She screamed his name and felt that electricity that only he produced in her again. Her orgasm hit her hard.

"Ah, Mae!"

Noa didn't take long to come inside her a second after she did. Mae felt the warm liquid inside her sliding out when he pulled away.

Both enjoyed the silence while trying to catch their breath.

Mae looked for Noa's gaze, finding his eyes looking at her. She smiled widely, laughing and lying down next to him to see him better.

"Now you're mine too." -she said.-

Noa imitated her, lying down next to her to see her.

"I were already yours. Since the first moment our gazes met."

Mae felt very grateful because her feelings were reciprocated.

. END!

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

hey! another Carlos x desi!reader where they both live in Madrid. And Carlos has gotten a two month break (let's say the break that's been going after the abu dhabi grand prix).

it's the morning after, where she's still in bed cause Carlos told her he wants to surprise her with breakfast in bed. And he makes poha (or anything else you want to go with sorry! it's just I'm marathi so like I'm a certified poha lover like every other marathi person) and also makes her favourite adrak wali chai. She's surprised how did he make all this and he tells her that he had learnt from her mom when he has been to India with her for diwali. He wanted to make her happy by making some homemade desi food for her because she misses food made by her mom

seal of approval˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊

⟢ cs x desi!reader ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ

⟢ fluff ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ

masterlist ☾☼

it's the morning after the abu dhabi grand prix, and carlos gets a richly deserved two-month break. you're still in bed, the madrid sun barely visible through the curtains, when you hear carlos clattering around in the kitchen. he'd told you that he would surprise you with breakfast in bed, and the delicious smell wafting through the apartment certainly got your attention.

you stretch out languidly, a small smile on your lips. carlos was always so considerate, even with his wild schedule. you wonder what gastronomic masterpiece he's come up with this time. perhaps some churros? or maybe those yummy 'huevos rotos' he knows you adore?

a few minutes pass, and carlos enters the room with the flourish of a practiced waiter, balancing a tray in his hands. your eyes go wide with wonder. it's not churros. it's not huevos rotos. it's… poha! and not only that, but the very poha your mom used to make, perfectly balanced between sweet, sour, and spicy. next to it is a steaming cup of adrak wali chai, its ginger aroma blending well with the smell of the poha.

"sweet surprise!" carlos smiles, his eyes aglow with slyness. "hope you like it. know it's a bit not typical spanish food, but…"

you sit up straight, resting back against the pillows, completely aghast. "carlos… how….?" you have the presence of mind to exclaim, indicating towards the tray. "poha? made by you? and chai?"

he grins, setting the tray in your lap. "well, i had a secret advantage. do you remember when we traveled to india for diwali with your family? i might have picked up a few… cooking tips from your mom. she's an amazing instructor, you know."

you look at him, a combination of amazement and love churning within you. "you learned how to make poha from my mom? just to surprise me?"

carlos shrugs, a sheepish smile spreading over his face. "well, i know you get homesick sometimes, and especially miss your mom's cooking. i thought… maybe a little bit of home would bring you joy."

you can't help but giggle, a warm sensation filling your chest. "joy? carlos, i'm beyond joy! this is… this is the kindest thing anybody's ever done for me."

you bite into the poha, and your eyelids shut in rapture. it is exactly like your mom's – airy, light, and exploding with flavour. the adrak wali chai complements it just right, making you warm inside.

"it's perfect," you whisper, a true smile on your lips. "absolutely perfect."

carlos looks at you, his face relaxing. "i'm happy you like it. i was a little anxious, honestly. your mom has pretty high standards."

"she does," you confirm, taking another bite of poha. "but you know what? i think you've officially got her seal of approval."

carlos smiles, clearly happy. "really? that's high praise indeed."

you both laze around the morning in bed, talking and giggling, the madrid sunlight and the softness of desi home food pouring into the air. and while you take your last sip of chai, you can't help but feel that you are really lucky to have carlos with you. he may not be a marathi, but he definitely knows the path to your heart – through yummy poha and a whole lot of love.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

i hope you like this! im sorry it took me so long to write this! i have been taking a bit of a break recently! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

taglist: @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @anamiad00msday ; @imlonelydontsendhelp ; @peterholland04 ; @justaf1girl ; @greantii ; @nocturnalherb16 ; @phobiccneel ; @winkev1 ; @alexxavicry ; @hiireadstuff

[aphroditelovesu]

The Lost Queen - Christmas Special

— summary: With Christmas time approaching, you have to make sure that peace reigns in your apartment. The only problem is that his companions from two thousand years ago are in it.

— lady l: I know, it's late, but you already know me lol. Hope you like it! There may be small spoilers for future chapters, but nothing very explicit. Merry belated Christmas and a great New Year! Forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️🎁

— warnings: light spoilers for future chapters of TLQ and fluff.

— pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader.

— wordcount: 1,963.

— the lost queen series masterlist.

— taglist: @devils-blackrose, @faerykingdom, @hadesnewpersephone, @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 , @kadu-5607, @zoleea-exultant, @borntoexplore11-blog , @wisdomcrys , @silmawensgarden .

It was Christmas Eve in the city, and twinkling lights decorated the streets, transforming the place into a spectacle of vibrant colors. The tall buildings sparkled with festive garlands and decorations, reflecting the Christmas spirit that enveloped everyone.

In the central squares, a special fair enchanted passers-by. Stalls sold everything from traditional gastronomic delights to unique crafts, while local musicians played Christmas carols, filling the air with comforting melodies.

Families strolled the streets, wrapped in warm coats and warm smiles. Children ran excitedly, eager for Santa Claus to arrive. The artificial snow fell gently, creating a magical setting for that special moment.

In a cozy apartment, a strange group were gathered to share stories and gifts or try to understand Christmas traditions. Laughter echoed in the corners, mixing with the aroma of hot chocolate and freshly baked cookies.

It was chaos. Your apartment was in chaos. A baby crying, men fighting about everything and asking you questions that irritated you deeply. But it was almost Christmas and you weren't going to let your bad mood or the fights those men were having ruin that day. You were almost certain that one of your neighbors would call the police if they continued like this.

''(Y/N), how does this even work?'' You turned to the person who asked you and smiled slightly when you noticed Hephaestion holding some rolled up blinkers in his hand. He looked at them as if they were the most perplexing and enigmatic thing in the world. Maybe, for him, it really was.

''You have to curl up against the tree and I'll do the rest.'' You explained, as you rocked Cyrus in your arms, trying to make him take a nap.

Hephaestion frowned and stared at the wires with suspicion shining in his eyes but headed towards the Christmas tree that stood in the middle of your living room.

''(Y/N)!'' You looked at Nearchus who appeared from your kitchen with an empty white ceramic cup, previously filled with hot chocolate, ''Do you have any more of that? It's delicious.''

A corner of your mouth curled up, ''On the stove.'' He stared at you confused, still not understanding the modern words properly, ''On top of the huge iron box.'' You explained gently. Nearchus winked at you and headed towards your kitchen, looking for more hot chocolate.

You ignored the others as you led Cyrus to his room, careful not to wake him. You smiled when you saw Alexander sitting in the armchair next to a crib, with Aella in his arms.

''Shh…'' He whispered to you, cradling the little princess in his arms carefully, ''She fell asleep just now.''

''This one,'' You nodded to the baby on her lap, ''also just fell asleep.''

Alexander smiled and carefully got up from the chair and placed Aella in the crib, stroking the baby's serene face in the process. You followed his lead, placing Cyrus next to his sister.

''How are the others?'' He asked you after pulling you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist. You smiled and placed your head on his shoulder.

''Well I think. Cleitus and Cassander were fighting over some ornaments and poor Hephaestion looked like his mind was going to break trying to untangle the blinkers.''

He laughed at your response and pulled away a little, kissing your forehead affectionately.

''It will take time for them to… Get used to all this. The gods know how long it took me.'' You suppressed a laugh as you remembered the first time he arrived in the modern world. Curiosity like that of a child or the time he wanted to attack a car because he thought it was a monster.

Gods, you had so much fun during that time. You would always fondly remember those memories.

''I can't believe it's been a year since all that.'' You mumbled. Alexander caressed your face with the palm of his hand, squeezing your cheek gently.

''Neither do I.'' He replied and kissed your lips quickly.

You smiled, your gaze sweet. Alexander blinked at you, all in love. Oh, you really loved that man. That time when you were scared and terrified was gone, now you were in love.

Hell, you were a woman in love, married with two children. There it is, something you never thought would happen so soon.

"Do you know about Perdiccas?" Alexander's body stiffened at the mention of his General and he slowly nodded yes, "Where is he then?"

Alexander shrugged, but you noticed the tension there, the anger, the barely contained jealousy, "On the balcony."

You nodded and kissed his lips passionately, "Try to be kinder to him. Perdiccas made mistakes in the past, but he doesn't deserve to be ignored or despised by you or anyone else. It was just a mistake and to make mistakes is human."

Alexander frowned, irritated, "I would hardly call that a mistake."

You bit your lower lip, remembering the fury, the hatred that Alexander had become when he found out about his General, his friend, plans. He had been so hurt and so furious, it had been a miracle that Perdiccas was not executed.

A miracle thanks to you, who convinced him otherwise. You shook your head quickly, as if you were trying to get rid of the bad thoughts that were plaguing you. From those dark and pain-filled days.

Everything was in the past now.

"It's Christmas time, time to forgive." You batted your eyelashes at him and Alexander smiled.

"I don't celebrate Christmas. But I can't deny that it's an interesting holiday." Alexander murmured and you stroked his stubble, "But I'll try my best for you."

"Thank you. That will be enough." You kissed him quickly and left the twins' bedroom, going to the apartment's balcony. You rolled your eyes in amusement as you passed by the room, hearing Cassander and Cleitus fighting over who should put the star on top of the tree. Hephaestion called them idiots and Ptolemy and Nearchus just laughed.

You opened the balcony door and immediately a wave of cold passed through your bones and you shivered a little, even more so when you saw Perdiccas sitting on a bench there and watching the decorated street, the cars and the people walking hurriedly.

"Everyone seems rushed." Perdiccas commented, without taking his eyes off the street. His face was pale and his lips were slightly chapped from the cold.

Your heart sank when you saw him like that. Despite everything you've been through, the mistakes you made, the pain… You would always care about him.

Sighing heavily, you sat down next to him, hissing when you felt your legs go cold.

Perdiccas finally turned to you and there was a deep sadness in those once warm and gentle eyes.

"It's Christmas…" You mumbled, not knowing what to say. It used to be so easy to talk to him, but now it was like there was a ball in your throat that prevented you from talking.

Perdiccas just stared at you, longing shining in his eyes.

"I-It's cold out here… You should go inside, you might catch a cold or something worse." You mumbled, curling your toes.

"I don't think the others would like that." Perdiccas shook his head, looking at his feet.

"Don't say that. Ptolemy asked about you just now." You murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Perdiccas laughed softly, but it was a sad laugh, "There's no need to lie, (Y/N). I know how you all of you feel about me, after everything that's happened."

You shook your head, "No, you don't. The others have nothing to do with what happened, they don't know everything. Only you and I know the truth."

Perdiccas pursed his chapped lips, "It makes no difference to them. Alexander hates me and because of that, they hate me."

Your heart ached at how sad, how broken Perdiccas's voice had sounded.

"I don't hate you and neither will anyone ever hate you." You smiled at him and stood up, facing him, "Come with us. It's Christmas, a time of peace and reconciliation."

Perdiccas just stared at your hand as you held it out to him, "I… I'm not familiar with Christmas…"

You smiled widely, "Then I would be happy to give you a history lesson on Christmas and what it means."

For the first time, Perdiccas' eyes shone with something other than sadness. Hope. A spark of hope shone in those beautiful blue eyes.

When he held your hand and stood up, discreetly stroking your gloved fingers, it didn't seem so cold anymore.

The hours passed quickly and although Perdiccas was reluctant, he sat down with his former friends and to his surprise, everyone was kind. Even Cassander held his tongue.

They were sharing childhood stories while you and Alexander fixed the tree. It was a little late to put up your tree, considering it was December 24th, but you hadn't had time these last few days.

Aella and Cyrus had already woken up from their nap and were being held by Hephaestion and Cleitus, who were playing with the babies.

As the night continued, you drank, some wine and some hot chocolate. Since you were still breastfeeding, you only drank hot chocolate.

"So what's the story of Christmas?" Cleitus asked. Everyone turned to you. Even Perdiccas, who had already heard the story.

"It depends on the culture, but the general consensus is that it is the birth of Jesus Christ." You said, adjusting a little ball.

"Jesus Christ?" Ptolemy asked, confused.

"The Savior, son of God for the Christian Religion. They say he was born on December 25th and since then we celebrate Christmas." You explained, after finishing arranging the tree. You sat on the couch, next to Hephaestion and Alexander followed suit.

"Oh…" Cassander said, drinking some wine.

"But the historical origin says that Christmas has its roots in pagan Winter Solstice celebrations, later adapted by the Christian Church in the fourth century to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. December 25th was chosen as the official date for this celebration ." You explained, remembering what you had read in a history book once.

They just nodded, not understanding everything you said. You laughed softly.

It was different, a different Christmas. You always spent it with your family or friends, but never with men from the past, literally. It was fun and iconic.

"Ah, it's almost midnight!" You exclaimed as you looked at the clock, it was just a few minutes until Christmas. You looked at your children and smiled.

While they waited for midnight, Ptolemy and Perdiccas talked about something. Cassander, Cleitus and Nearchus argued about an old childhood story and Hephaestion, Alexander and you just watched the twins with affection.

When it finally struck midnight, you got up from the couch and started hugging them and wishing them Merry Christmas. They looked confused but hugged you back and congratulated you the same.

They began to do the same to each other. You watched happily, until it was Perdiccas and Alexander's turn. You felt your hands start to sweat.

Alexander quickly looked at you and said, "Merry Christmas, my friend."

Gasps were heard, but you didn't listen, you just watched them. The way Perdiccas' face lit up and he hugged Alexander.

"Merry Christmas, my friend." Perdiccas said, hugging Alexander.

You smiled, feeling tears on his face. It seemed that peace would finally reign again. Christmas truly was a time of peace and reconciliation.

[project-catgirlpillar]

Cute Date: *sigh* the moon is so beautiful tonight

Me (trying to impress): yeah.. it's Waxing gibbons

Cute Date: *blushes at my gastronomical knowledge*