#The First Mourning

[artthatgivesmefeelings]

William Adolphe Bouguereau (French, 1825-1905) The First Mourning, 1888 Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes, Buenos Aires

[stigmatam4rtyr]

The First Mourning (1888, oil on canvas) | William-Adolphe Bouguerau

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[timethehobo]

When I realised his room was right next to Rooks’ tho. 🫢

[koobiie]

put together a one page zine about bird calls based on my observations!

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a Tiktok at 6:21am that’s just him in bed, lamenting that, “sorry to announce this like this but my husband is leaving me. After making a vow to stay together forever, he is breaking that vow and abandoning me. My heart breaks. I will not survive.”

Steve comes into frame and kisses him on the cheek before telling the camera, “I’m going to work.”

“I’m going to die of loneliness and you don’t even care!”

Steve laughs, tilts Eddie’s head to kiss him on the lips and tells him to, “Try to sleep some today. Love you.”

[rocketbirdie]

i don't want to lose you. i don't want to lose this

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[avelera]

Contrary to how he initially comes across, Jayce is actually the archetypical blacksmith character who is tall and broad shouldered and always doing his best to not take up too much space or be too intimidating. His way of moving is a lot like bigger guys I know IRL who are aware of how much bigger stronger they are than others, how easy it would be to hurt someone by accident, and how easily he could scare someone by getting up in their space. (Another example of this archetype is Perrin Aybara from Wheel of Time.)

The reason people don’t see it as much in the story or in the fandom is because Jayce is actually pretty good at toning down things that could intimidate people. He’s clean cut, clean shaven, unfailingly polite, and he’s careful while moving around people. (There’s a great moment in 1.04 that demonstrates this when he skirts by the little girl to go pester Caitlyn.)

He always inclines his head to speak with people on their level and he sits when he’s around Viktor to not loom over him and to make it less awkward for Viktor to sit as well if he needs to without it hurting his pride. He might actually be one of the tallest characters in the series but you wouldn’t know it by how rarely he leans into that advantage.

Part of the reason people begin to warm to him in S2, I think, is because once he grows the beard and lets his hair grow out, he actually begins to LOOK like the archetype of the gentle blacksmith that he’s actually been the whole time.

It’s also, rather fittingly, when Jayce begins to stand up for himself and not care what others think of him. It’s when he cuts through the bullshit in the Council chamber because he doesn’t have time to coddle everyone’s egos. He’s grown up, and he doesn’t care if he’s clean cut and clean shaven anymore because there’s more important things than worrying about if he’s intimidating people, or socially acceptable in his mannerisms and speech. I think this just highlights how careful he was being up to that point to present the fresh-faced, unintimidating appearance in the first place.

Jayce is a big guy and he is strong and he could easily break things or scare people but he constantly chooses to make himself smaller and bring himself down to other people’s levels so he doesn’t loom over them and he’s scrupulously polite, except in those rare instances where he is trying to push back or intimidate someone into backing down (like with Heimerdinger when he threatens the Hexcore and this Viktor’s hope for a cure). People just didn’t acknowledge it before he grew the beard and Jayce began to look like the sort of character that trope is associated with.

Edit: Guys, Jayce is not 6'7" that's a fan edit, the internal documents for Fortiche say he's 6'2"

[elizabeth-mitchells]

RIP Laura Lee, you would've loved that there were twelve disciples yellowjackets eating the body of Christ Jackie

[benevolenterrancy]

~loathing, unadulterated loathing~

[thehealingsystem]

hey this thanksgiving I ask people to please please please please don't forget about indigenous americans. celebrate all you want, eat turkey, spend time with family, idc, but please do so in respect to the actual meaning behind the holiday and the atrocities committed against natives. your day of thankfulness for all that you have, the things you only have because of colonialism, is a day of mourning for us

[toonybrin]

DEATH

✨️Emmlich inspired tarot ✨️

[mayhemspreadingguy]

Lost boys

[attyrocious]

ace on gouache more like gouace(??)

anyway happy birthday

[demigods-posts]

they're filming season two, but i'm thinking about the potential adaption of the mount tam scene in season three. you know, the one where annabeth could apologize for pushing percy out of the way and falling off the cliff in his place, and how she knows that sounds terrible but they didn't have time for another plan and she didn't want to lose him that way. but percy just engulfs her in a hug because he's so relieved that she's safe now and everything else be damned. and annabeth doesn't understand why he's snickering to himself after that last statement, but she melts into the hug anyway because she missed him. and thalia and grover stand in the background happy for their friends on the outside but internally mortified, because their friends are definitely falling for each other but fate may not allow them to see it through.