#That. took a lot.

[artificer-real]

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I feel tired. 2024 was an odd year for me. Ive never felt so relaxed. Ive never felt so empty. I saw it coming, too. Three years ago I came to the conclusion that I couldnt keep this up forever. That something would break. I was running on fumes even then, it didnt take a genius to see that. I finally ran out of fuel in August 2023.

I still remember what it felt like, to pull on that fire. To do the things I wanted to do with a desparate, raging smile. But theres nothing left anymore. Its just ash. I miss the fire.

I dont need it though... thats not the real problem. I can make do without just fine. Its just... when I look beyond the day, when I look to what I hope to accomplish? Theres nothing there. Theres no end to the tunnel. Its just darkness.

What could you ever do againt that oppressive darkness? I dont want to fight... I dont want to do any of this... I just want to go to sleep. Forever.

... But theres this voice in the back of my head...

Even despite the darkness and the pain, it never truly leaves. Constantly repeating. Over and Over again.

"Get up. Get up. Get up. Please. Its going to be okay. Were going to be okay. Get up. One day we'll look back on this and laugh. I promise."

... And so, I get up.

Over and Over again.

... Maybe this time itll turn out different.

New Years Resolution: I dont want to die.

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool

[ionomycin]

Grief

ref photo by @jawsstone

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[ink-the-artist]

Love the contrast between the Americans’ “Apollo” and the Soviets’ “Sputnik.” You got the Americans naming their rocket after a Greek god trying to communicate the grandness and importance of this rocket. And you got the Soviets naming their rocket “fellow traveler.” Like a friend you go on an  adventure with together. This rocket is our little friend lol 

[eydilily]

Flee with extra flee!

[rawranansi]

A life that eats and eats and eats and crunches your bones but leaves your heart

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[hinamie]

'what do u want to draw' 'idk, megumi?'

[ot3]

i love the artistic stylings of studio ghibli as much as anyone else does but im kind of sick of anything with like vivid environments and big blue skies being branded as ghibliesque. because its like. you know where else you can hypothetically find some vivid environments with big blue skies? my friend the great and wonderful outdoors are here for you

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton’s happiest day in FNAF

[mellowsharkpolice]

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Start here

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[naiad-r]

Cage me like an animal A crown with gems and gold Eat me like a cannibal Chase the neon throne If I could only let go

Death pact, fulfilled.

[qualityrain]