#That’s like “I can fit 10 marshmallows in my mouth”

[that-dam-heartstopper-fan]

drinking a monster is a lot better with a straw

[lovelykil]

Hi! Love you so much can you do killua x fem reader one shot where reader is wearing a fitted shirt and killuas lowkey distracted🙈 (bros like 😧) LMAO TYSM

distracted─

: ➛ killua x reader older ver.

cw; boobs (drools)

note; giggles

in a frustrated panic, you search all over your room for a specific shirt, throwing shirts in the air, all onto your bed and all over the floor. You pull out your phone then set it back in your pocket, sighing with a hint of annoyance.

You had about half an hour, but if you didn't find this stupid shirt now you would be here all day. After awhile of endlessly looking you sulk in a corner, rubbing your face.

"oh my gosh where the hell is my shirt.." You whined, sitting up. It was at this time you heard a knock on your door and then a familiar face coming through it.

"y/n are you ready? I'm leaving in 10." Your ride, kurapika, spoke softly but as well coming off strictly as he was adamant about time. You made eye contact with the blonde, your pupils burning into his. You were very much not ready.

he looked away uncomfortably, clearing his throat with a chin scratch.

"right.. just tell me when you're ready." He closed your door shortly after. You heard the door click and you groan into your hands, shaking your head.

"I'm going to kill myself I swear." You set your hands down, to look once more amongst the piles of clothing. You scanned the pile slowly, eliminating the shirts one by one checking to make sure you didn't just accidentally miss the fabric.

And to your surprise you found it, barely missed it too. It was hidden away from a shirt that had a resemblance to the specific shirt except that shirt was a different color so of course you dismissed it. You never been so happy, lunging forward to retrieve the shirt with a squeal.

You spent no time stripping your current shirt to put on the destined clothing you picked out for the hangout.

"hey idiot kurapika said to hurry─"

"huh?" You turned to see a stunned killua at your doorway. The shirt you wore hugged your curves, outlining every inch of your torso, you could see his blue eyes largen at the sight of you. You turned back to your body mirror to fix your shirt, "oh its just you kil."

"who'd you expect?" he leaned against the frame with his arms crossed, watching you carefully. You smile with a scoff, "sassy much?" he didnt say anything but a blush found its way on his pale face, turning away. He rolls his eyes "whatever" he left your room shortly after, his face a mess.

You wondered for a second, but the thought left your mind, kurapika was waiting for you so you needed to hurry the hell up. You grabbed your bag of necessities, throwing it over your shoulder, showered yourself in your favorite perfume and finally ran out of your room. Gon waved to you as he saw you exit your room, he was eating a bowl of ramen and had noodles dangling from his mouth making you snicker.

kil on the other hand was still in a daze, distracted by you. He was so conflicted right now. He reached for an apple to bitterly bite into. You approached the albino after saying bye to his best friend "I'm leaving now'" you smile up at him. He gazed down at you from his height, wanting to come off as unphased as possible but he couldn't help but stare at your chest area, he chokes on his apple.

"oh shit, killua are you oka-"

"YES, I'm.. FINE" he shouts, his face fuming.

you tuck your arms beneath your breasts with a frown. "don't need to yell, asshole." The hunter was now a tomato, why would you do such a gesture, tucking your arms to make your.. mounds more visible to him?! He knew you didn't do it on purpose but.. fuck

they looked so soft, like marshmallows he wanted so badly to lay his head on them and just close his eyes as you held him near.

the thought of that made him feel like leorio, he mentally face palmed. god stop thinking such things, you creep.

"well bye!"

"wait huh─" you pecked his cheek before walking toward the front door, killua turned quickly and shouted in a rush.

"wait where are you even going??"

"to hang out with friends?"

"HUHH, IN THAT??"

[brosser-les-dents]

I just found out a few months ago my fave toothpaste has been discontinued. *Sobs* It was literally life changing and now it is no more. So I've been on a search for my new toothpaste. This one seems to be the one that fits all my needs.

Criteria:

Is a gel, not a paste (bc paste texture is yucky. Some people will describe the paste texture as gritty. I am not a fan.)

Has sufficient amounts of fluoride

SLS free (because SLS is a foaming agent and can be very harsh and strip the surfaces inside your mouth. It leads to dry mouth and can increase how many canker sores you get, which is my issue.)

Not mint flavoured (This is marshmallow and is quite subtle.)

Not stupid expensive (This is like borderline. It's $7 CAD, which more than my old toothpaste, but I used to use one that was $10 CAD, so I'll take this as a win for now.)

So I'm hoping some of you might benefit from how many toothpastes I've tried in the last few months. If you have any of the same needs I do listed above, this may be a viable toothpaste choice for you.

One thing I would note, the cap is a pain to open. As someone who is developing joint issues, it's not great for anyone who may lack strong grip or dexterity.

REMEMBER TO BRUSH AND FLOSS, EVERYONE! And remember to do your best to work with yourself. If that means finding a toothpaste that is more your kind of flavour or has a better texture, do it. "Adult" toothpaste is a social construct. Don't let that restrict you. Finding a toothpaste you like will make a huge difference in the brushing experience. And for something you should be doing twice a day, that matters a lot. If anyone makes fun of you for using whatever toothpaste you prefer, you can tell them I tell them to go fuck themselves and that they are a turd human being for making fun of you about caring enough about yourself to pick something you like.

You are worth all the effort. And I'm here to back you up about it.

[disasterousduo]

@type1dragonwolf, Some Incorrect Quotes for our AU

Ruin: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao  Solar : What did you do op?  Ruin: A MISTAKE

Ruin: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Solar, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Ruin: Ruin: fsh

Ruin: Here's some advice Solar: I didn't ask for any Ruin: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Ruin: I'm incredibly fast at math. Solar: Alright, what's 30x17? Ruin: 47 Solar: That's not even close. Ruin: But it was fast.

Solar: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.  Ruin: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.  Earth: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Solar: Hey Ruin, Ruin: Yes? Solar: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Ruin: Ruin: Where’s Moon?

Ruin: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?  Solar: You’re a hazard to society  Lunar: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Solar: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Ruin: We got spring water Solar: NO. Sun: with EXTRA minerals Ruin: it's like licking a stalagmite Solar: DON'T COME HOME. Sun: Mmmmm cave water

Ruin: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Solar does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Moon: If Solar were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Solar jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Ruin: You jump off a cliff! Moon: Gladly. Provided Solar did first.

Moon: Solar isn’t answering their phone Ruin: I’ll call Moon: Monty and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Solar: Hello?

Ruin: Tonight, one of you will betray us. Solar: Is it me, Ruin? Ruin: No, it’s not you. Sun: Is it me, Ruin? Ruin: It’s not you either. Moon: Is it me, Ruin? Ruin: Ruin, mockingly: Is IT mE Ruin?

Earth: What does 'take out' mean? Lunar: Food. Solar: Dating Sun: Murder Ruin: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Sun: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Ruin will and will not eat. Lunar: Grass? Yes! Sun: Moss? Yes!! Lunar: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Sun: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Lunar: Worms? Sometimes! Sun: Rocks? Usually nah. Lunar: Twigs? Usually! Sun: Moon’s cooking? Inconclusive! Solar: How did you… test this? Sun: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Solar: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Moon: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Ruin: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Solar: Several traffic violations. Earth: Three counts of resisting arrest. Sun: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Lunar: Also, that’s not our car.

Ruin: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!  Lunar: Tubular AF!  Earth: Mood to the max!  Sun, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.  Solar, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Ruin: Time for plan G. Eartg: Don’t you mean plan B? Ruin: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Lunar: What about plan D? Ruin: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Sun: What about plan E? Ruin: I’m hoping not to use it. Moon dies in plan E. Solar: I like plan E.

Ruin: Croissants: dropped  Solar: Road: works ahead  Earth: BBQ sauce: on my titties  Sun: Shavacado: fre  Lunar: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  Moon:  Moon, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Solar, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.  Jack~O~Moon: Hey.  Earth: Hi.  Sun: Hello.  Lunar: Hey!  Solar: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!  Ruin: We were out of Doritos.

Ruin: I CAN'T DO IT! Solar, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Ruin: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Earth: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Ruin: Ruin: I appreciate it, Ruin: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Sun: Ruin- Ruin: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Lunar: Ruin we gotta- Ruin: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Ruin: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Ruin, motioning to Moon: NOT FUCKING THIS

[sweetlyvibe]

INCORRECT QUOTES x MUTUALS

n/n: i didn’t feel like continuing that’s why it’s short and only 10 😭 I’m working on my motivation 💀

YOGHURT:: *takes jamila’s glasses off* “you look amazing with and without them.”

JAMILA::: …

JAMILA:: *looking around* “you do realise— without my glasses on… I can’t properly see anything,”

YOGHURT:: “oh..” *puts the glasses on himself* “better?”

NORA:: “God, give me patience.“

ACHY:: “you mean ‘give me strength‘.“

NORA:: “If god gave me strength, you‘d be dead“

YOGHURT:: *standing on the balcony and sneezes*

JAMILA:: *standing on the roof* “Bless you.“

YOGHURT:: “God!?“

MARQ:: “Jamila says I need to start planning for my wedding with kanari. What do you want to do at the wedding?“

ACHY:: “I want to be the ones to yell ‘objection!‘ and ruin the whole thing.

MARQ:: “nice“

JAMILA:: “let’s practice together: ‘I‘m sorry‘.“

NORA::

JAMILA:: “you can’t say it, can you?“

NORA:: “of course I can.”

JAMILA:: “then say it.”

NORA:: “I’m… solly.”

JAMILA:: “did you just say you’re solly?”

NORA:: “I’m soggy.”

JAMILA:: “soggy?”

NORA:: “I’m sarny.”

JAMILA:: “apologise to achy, now”

NORA:: “sorry i called you an Idiot, I thought you already knew.”

YOG:: “I’ve done a lot of dumb things.”

JAMILA:: “I’ve joined in on the dumb things”

ACHY:: “I’ve witnessed the dumb things”

NORA:: “And I’ve tried to stop the dumb things from happening!”

MARQ:: “Say no to drugs.”

YOGHURT:: “Say yes to drugs.”

NORA:: “It doesn’t matter what you tell drugs. if you’re talking to drugs, you’re already taking them.”

NORA:: “Who thinks I can fit 10 marshmallows in my mouth?”

JAMILA:: “You’re a menace to society.”

ACHY:: “And a coward. DO TWENTY.”

ACHY:: “We have a problem.”

MARQ:: “No, YOU have a problem, I have an idiot who keeps making problems.”

MARQ:: *visiting* “Hello, I just came to—“

MARQ:: *sees Nora shoving yoghurt into the washing machine while Jamila records and Achy watches*

MARQ:: *retreating* "Something suddenly came up.“

— TAGGING :: @amxto @achy-boo @yoghurtsan @kxnariswife

[exocynraku]

1. What are favorite character(s) out of each fandom you’re in and why they’re your favorite?

2. If you could befriend one/few of your ocs, which they would be?

3. About who you can yap 25 hours a day?

4. Any least favorite ocs you have?

(Now to less constructive questions)

5. On which oc/character you like to chew on the most? Are they crunchy or chewy?

6. If you’d give a break to any of your characters, then to who?

7. Do you have any “I wish I was them” characters?

8. Do you have any ocs with who you share interests/hobbies?

9. Any ocs you would like to snuggle with?

1: Warriors -> red, harley, shadowsight, frostpaw, thunder, bee (cotp), dovewing, mudfur, adderfang, probably many more i'm forgetting One Piece -> ace, robin, shirahoshi, uta, bonney, chimney Dorohedoro -> risu, asu, nikaido, caiman, haru, noi, turkey Dungeon Meshi -> falin, namari, kiki Shangri La Frontier -> towa, rei, silvi, bilac, animalia, tsukuyo Bleach -> riruka, yachiru, nel, orihime, zaraki, grimmjow, mayuri Chainsaw man -> Asa, Quanxi, Beam, Reze Feline Wizards -> Arhu, Siffha'h, Ith 2: Dr. Ibaba, mimi, ready for distress 3: Not ocs: thunder, red, Jay feather & halfmoon (as a pair), turkey, mayuri, rei, arhu ocs: spate speculation, honestly most of the FSP characters (which I also should keep working on), rippleskate (though this would require me to reveal its lore which hasn't happened), rosestar, martyrsomen, ragweedtalon 4: a lot of my not-warrior cats characters are not developed at all & have no personality because it's hard to fit them into a universe which gives me trouble liking them. slickstar 5: cloudyfleck. marshmallow girl. martyrsomen. I'm not sure of something I could compare it to but think lots of strings condensed very tight but fall apart in your mouth 6: spate speculation, nalagkn'hor, fogscreech 7: lop, ywl, EMBY 8: well. my sonas. but also gehuma (biology) 9: maphro maphro maphro maphro maphro maphro maphro 10: (from your other ask, favourite fantasy weapons), really big stupid swords that realistically would be impossible to carry

[emojireviewpage]

🤯 Mindblown (Exploding head) emoji review 🤯

Apple: The mushroom cloud is reminding me of an hydrogen bomb. The head bits are going around! Was the explosion too strong for them? I like the details and the crack textures. They had the most shocking moments of their life. 9/10 the expression is a bit fake though.

Google: What were they hiding on their head, marshmallows? The head is cut too sharp. I’d like it better if it had the crack details. I guess it is kinda cute and they look so surprised! 6/10 adorable surprise

Samsung: Omg this is so cute! I love the colors on the inside of the cloud. It’s like they merged apple and Google emoji. Must be a dorky guy and fun to be around. He even has a realistic mouth! 9/10 he had watched fnaf jump scares.

Microsoft: Cross-eyed. Reminds me of my club’s mate who is Asperger’s. I guess this is kinda cute, but looks like an exploding bowl with a face. 3/10 why does it have a purple mouth.

WhatsApp: Honestly, the explosion is so RED, it looks like it’s raining tomato sauce. Am I the only one who thinks this? 7/10 it’s cold that you can see the outside.

Twitter: No hope for twitter. 2/10 because I don’t think it’s that horrible.

Facebook: it has a shockwave! Must be strong. Sorry, were you so shocked your eyes froze? This might look so good if they animated this emoji for a reaction, or do they already have a reaction version of this emoji? 8/10 I don’t use Facebook.

Skype: If this was a cartoon character, its name would be Richard. Here we have, Mr Richard, who is mindblown because they saw a 1 min Clip of kingda ka. It is understandable since that ride is INSANE. Its parents would be Samsung and Google. 5/10 Yummy inside. Is it chocolate?

Twitter emoji stickers: Can we appreciate how detailed the explosion is. It even has blue sparks and lightnings. They probably got an entire concert on their head. The face reminds me of Toad of Mario bro. I don’t know why. Absolutely exquisite shading below the flying bits. Tilted mouth expressing how intense that was. 9.5/10 Cute eyes don’t really fit though.

Joypixels: I’m digging this. The mouth is nice. The shading, It looks like it is airbrushed with a procreate brush. It is like my drawings. I guess they watched a Tekken fight and got shocked. 7.5/10 btw Who mains Kazuya in smash.

TossFace: No rating because protect this adorable toddler before they die from a fatal injury.

Emojipedia: Ah👏Yes👏You👏Look👏Like👏A👏Chef👏Could👏You👏Please👏Cook👏A👏Tasty👏Rib-eye?👏Im👏Sure👏You👏Are👏A👏Michelin👏Star👏Mastermind👏Is👏The👏Explosion👏White👏Bread?👏 Chef/10

LG: Amber eyes. Posible gem treasure? I like the shockwave and the cracks are amazingly detailed. I like the little glints. 7/10

Thank you! 💗

oh my gosh!🤯

[khaloymes-a]

Chris Klemens Starters !

Sentence starters inspired by this Chris Klemens video. Feel free to change wording or anything else to fit your needs!

“Can you tell that I’ve been crying all morning? I’ve been crying all morning.”

“No, we’re fine, guys. We’re fiiiine. We’re fiiiiiine.”

“That house was literally so dark, there was no fucking light. It was like a log cabin in a horror movie.”

“Food is something I take too seriously.”

“Never has anyone ever been so excited to not collect a check.”

“Girlboss Mode Activated!”

“What the fuck is good, Kyle?!”

“I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone what someone said in a 2014 Vine.”

“I have Takis, I have jalapeños, and I have real ass cream cheese.”

“Do other people have this much trouble, or am I just extra Caucasian?”

“I have this hollowed out and we’re just gonna put some laxative in.”

“That was so sad, from start to finish. That sentence was devastating.”

“Hey Houston? We have a fucking GINORMOUS problem.”

“My mouth is watering, it’s like ‘Give me more, bitch!’”

“What the fuck are we doing here?”

“Well Philly Cream Cheese, we meet again.”

“I don’t like it, but I need to try it because I need answers.”

“It’s a dead watermelon, why am I so fucking scared?”

“It’s like when I lived in New York and it struck midnight: I’m doing two lines now.”

“Oh my god. At first I thought I was eating a hot dog, then I was like it’s cold and it’s also watermelon.”

“Fuck, and I mean FUCK, whoever came up with this.”

“Next up on this nonstop thrill ride, we have nacho Dorito chips dipped in marshmallow cheese sauce.”

“Yep, yep, yep. Wow!”

“I got laxative number two of the day: Cheese Whiz.”

“This is a sight I never thought I’d see in my lifetime, let alone yours.”

“I hope this microwave doesn’t give me radiation and I just drop dead on the spot! That would suck.”

“Nothing screams party like putting marshmallows in queso.”

“Can you believe I gave this any sort of optimism?”

“It’s not even gross, it’s just off-putting.”

“I’m done giving my energy to this!”

“I love peanut butter and I love pickles. What I don’t love is this bullshit.”

“I have pickles in my fridge, but I really like those ones, and don’t want them ruined, because no offense to that man, some fucking idiot on the Internet.”

“I’m not proud of this, but when I was younger, I used to drink pickle juice.”

“I was gonna say I had hope for this, but look where that fucking got me.”

“What in the Jimmy Neutron? Gotta blast!”

“Hello? Is anybody there? Where is everyone? What the fuck was that?”

“You will never catch me dead with a pickle and peanut butter. If you do, that’s the saddest way I went out.”

“I am sorry to the person in the Tiktok who I called an idiot, you are not as big an idiot as the fucking watermelon person. Unless you also came up with that. In that case? Idiot.”

“I think I’m making a mistake, but my hopes are incredibly high.”

“I’m a blue raspberry bitch!”

“This is gonna take out a tooth.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve always wanted a lollipop in the shape of a foot!”

“We’re gonna take some of these crack rocks and-“

“Ew, it has like wig hairs coming off of it. Okay bitch, me too!”

“It has some terrestrial vibes. Like, Saturn who?”

“Oh. Oh! Ow. Oh?”

“That was enjoyable.”

“If I wasn’t so scared of becoming Jack Sparrow and losing three teeth, that’d be a 10 out of 10.”

[graspingatstars]

3/10/22 - hello

3/10/23 - u remember. I knew there was no way you’d remember something so trivial. And yet you surprise me.

3/24/23 - oh no

I had to dogsit at someone else’s house for a whole week. Two little daschunds and a black kitten. In the back of my mind I was hoping he’d check my locations and text me. We hadn’t texted consistently in over a month. Not that I was keeping track.

Ok my very first night I lose the cat. She slips out and hides under the backyard patio. I am freaking out. It’s been about an hour and I text him in desperation thinking he had any knowledge of how to lure a cat out. In the end the cat required no luring as she slipped back into the house as easy as she came.

He hints that he is willing to lend a hand to dog and cat sit with me. I accept, I really didn’t want to be alone while the house made noises. And it would be the perfect time to hang out and catch up.

I am in the backyard letting the two puppies chase each other around. Phone had music playing. I am trying to act casual and as if I didn’t know he had arrived. He slips in behind me aloofly with wet curl hair. Beige shirt on and light wash jeans. I am awkward as hell and hyper. We walk back inside and he fills me in on life: 2 new classes, unemployed, signed up for radiology school which would start next January. Teasingly mentioning that I disappeared for a month after he had to give up his dog. I did disappear. It was pretty busy the months prior. We grab Wendy’s and tequila and he shows me songs I would like.

We watch In the Tall Grass and take two shots of tequila each. My body was not prepared.

We retire to the bedroom and he complains about his jeans. I can hear him slide out of them. We make it to bed and lay in silence for a while. On opposite sides.

I scoot in closer so that our bodies touch lightly. He closes in on the tiny distance between us so that I’m fully wrapped by him, in him. It’s warm and safe. We always fit together perfectly. His rough hands glide up my legs, up my back, and down again, and up again. I nuzzle my face into his chest and let him feel roughly all over. I make zero moves and just enjoy it all. I move around in my sleep, uncomfortable at the situation. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to hold him closer. I moved away instead. Hours could have passed. He finally cradles me. His fingers find their way to my thighs again. He slowly inches towards my clit. So lightly, and so painfully slow. I’m throbbing at the idea. He glides over me so softly, I’m begging internally that he be more rough. This was the reaction he wanted. He tries to go deeper into me with his rough fingers, I stop him. “Why do you have to make things so complicated?” My voice cracks. I hear him breathe deeply and he just holds me. We fall asleep this way.

3/25/23 - a first kiss

He texts me late into the night. I almost don’t want to answer. I fall asleep waiting for him. He calls me and I give in. I answer the door and let him in. We watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was awesome. I didn’t tell him I’ve already watched it before. His hands glide over my skin. We took two shots of tequila to kill the nerves.

By the end of it all he played me his music on my guitar. I felt it deeply. It was time for bed. We knockout for a couple hours because of the alcohol. I woke up to his hands steady on me. I wanted them closer. He felt around as he did the night before. He found his way into me and I couldn’t resist any longer. I was dripping. And right when he inches inside with his warm fingers, our mouths clashed and his lips were so soft like warm marshmallows. I couldn’t allow it to go past that. I stopped him. And we fell asleep this way.

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

Thank you so much for this! The quotes and characters fits so well! Let me return the favor!

MCS (WE): (In)Accurate Dialogue

Part 2!

1

Saitama: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Kobayashi: *turning to Gojo* How tall are you?

2

Italy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life. Yuuri: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back. Fujinuma: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thanks for finding this! Levi: My will to live. I haven’t seen this in 15 years. Saitama: Ha! I knew I lost that potential somewhere! L: Mental stability, my old friend. Italy: … Guys, could you lighten up a little?

3

Mako: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Hanako: That would suck because you can't microwave metal. Senku: Good morning to everybody except these two people.

4

Rin: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Soma: You and me!!! Rin, tearing up: Okay.

5

Ciel: Someone will die. Emma: Of fun!

6

Edward, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Haruhi: You did WHAT– Senku: William Snakepeare

7

Iruma: What do you think Hanako will do for a distraction? Tanjiro: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Tanjiro: ... or he could do that.

8

Langa: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Kuroko: You’re a hazard to society Hinata: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

9

Korra: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Izuku: Korra no. Zuko: Mistlefoe. Izuku: Please stop encouraging her.

10

Mafuyu: What time is it? Haruka: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Haruka: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Ciel: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Haruka: It’s 2 am

11

Spike: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Gojo: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. U-1146: I personally was created in a lab. Italy: I just straight up spawned.

12

Serinuma: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Mob: What? Saiki: That you're a child. Saitama: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

13

Fujinuma: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people? Yuuri: Plane tickets? Kobayashi: Concert tickets? Gojo: Prostitution? Fujinuma, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

14

Korra: Zuko isn’t answering his phone Izuku: I’ll call Korra: Italy and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Zuko: Hello?

15

Edward: Rules are made to be broken. Haruhi: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Hinata: Uh, piñatas. Serinuma: Glow sticks. Rin: Karate boards. Langa: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Edward: Rules. Haruhi:

16

Gojo: Pre broth, is an amazing stage! It's when you're the most alert! Levi: Good, cause some need to be alert tonight.. This "Snake Juice" is basically rat poison. Everybody's wasted. Italy: You don't even know one thing! I didn't even say one thing! And she asks me the whole thing, and I didn't even do it once! Spike: I'm, like, an elephant. Okay? If I walk into a room, it's like 'Okay, he's in there.' Kobayashi: I'm gonna tell you, that... that bitch over there. I'm gonna tell... I don't mean to brag. Fujinuma: Baba-Booey. Saitama: Turn this music down. [singing] Farts and boobs and love and stuff... macaroni salad... Heine: [rapidly speaking gibberish in German] U-1146: [Laughes, coughes, then drinks more snake juice] Yuuri: [wearing a party hat and dancing frantically] Fujinuma: Is this everybody? Levi: Gojo and Spike took a cab. Itay's in the trunk. L's on the roof. Where to first? Kobayashi: Your mother's butt. [everyone laughs except Levi] L: I'm so alone.

Sooo... @the-ravenclaw-werewolf ...

Remember your dialouges...

Well, here's some more! :D

MCS(WE): (In)Accurate Dialouge.

1.

Hinata: I've sent good vibes your way... They're coming. There's nothing you could do to stop them.

Saiki: That is the most threatening way I've been cheered up.

2.

Emma: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Emma and Hinata, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Italy: Our turn! Ready? One, two, three- vanilla!

U-1146, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

3

Korra: I think we're missing something. Izuku: Teamwork? Soma: Cohesion? Zuko: A general sense of what we’re doing?

4

Killua: *Gently taps table* Ciel: *Taps back* Emma: What are they doing? Ryuzaki: Morse code. Killua: *Aggressively taps table* Ciel: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

5

Neagi: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Senku: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Mako: Smad.

6

Tetsuya: If I went missing for a like say a week, do you think you'd be alarmed?

Hinata: I think so?

Tetsuya: Oh that's nice, I didn't think you'd be alarmed.

Hinata: You're my friend.

Tetsuya: ... I don't like how you said that- you said it like you're-

Hinta: You're my friend!

Tetsuya: Wh- Okay stop yelling at me,

Hinata: YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

Tetsuya: AH- OH MY-

Hinata: I WOULD BE CONCERNED IF YOU DISAPPEARED!

7

Store Worker: Would a Spike Spiegel please come to the front desk? Spike, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Hinata and Mafuyu Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Hinata and Mafuyu, simultaneously: We got lost :( Spike: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

8

Ciel: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Emma: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Ciel: No! Four to five seconds! Emma: Too late!!!

9

Italy: What is your biggest weakness? Levi: I can be uncooperative. Italy: Okay, can you give me an example? Levi: No.

10

*Spike is standing around the broken coffee maker* Spike: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Tohru: ...I did. I broke it. Spike: No. No you didn't. Hinata? Hinata: Don't look at me. Look at Edward. Soma: What?! I didn't break it. Hinata: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Soma: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken. Hinata: Suspicious. Soma: No, it's not! Langa: If it matters, probably not, but was the last one to use it. Chika: Liar! I don't even drink that carp! Langa: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Chika: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Langa! Tohru: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Spike-san. Spike: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: Zuko: Spike... Korra's been awfully quiet. Korra: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Spike, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it. Spike: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Spike: Spike: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Dude, this took so long- Especially that last one- dude, I'm gonna weep inside-

[thefandomchaos]

Incorrect Prompts but is the Spider Brothers:

Peter #1: Tom

Peter #2: Tobey

Peter 3#: Andrew

Tobey: You have to apologize to Andrew

Tom: Fine.

Tom: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Tobey: If?

Tom: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey: WHY. why did you give Tom a KNIFE?!

Andrew: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Tobey: Now I feel unsafe!

Andrew: I’m sorry.

Andrew: ... would you like a knife?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom: Why are you on the floor?

Andrew: I'm depressed.

Andrew: Also I was stabbed, can you get Tobey, please.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Andrew: *turning to Tom* How tall are you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Andrew: Okay, but in my defense, Tom bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Tobey: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Tobey: You’re a hazard to society

Tom: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Andrew: The car takes a screenshot.

Tobey: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey, driving Andrew and Tom: So how was your day?

Tom: We almost got surprise adopted!

Tobey: What?

Andrew: We almost got kidnapped.

Tobey: Oh, okay.

Tobey: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Andrew: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Tom: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Andrew: Good thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Store Worker: Would a Mr.Tobey please come to the front desk?

Tobey, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Andrew and Tom*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Andrew and Tom, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Tobey: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobey: We need a distraction.

Andrew: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Tom, whispering: My time has come

[yiiran]

// Spider-Man No Way Home spoilers

You know what's coming, so let's just jump straight into it

*3 Peters sitting in jail together*

Peter G: So who should we call?

Peter H: I’d call Dr. Strange, but I feel safer in jail

Peter M: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

Peter G: Wednesay

Peter M: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Peter M: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

MJ: You people already know too much about me.

Peter G: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Peter G: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Peter H: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Peter G: Yes!

Peter M: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Peter H: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Peter G, amazed: Wow...

Peter G, to Peter M: Well what does that mean?

Peter M: I don't know.

Peter M, to Peter H: What does that mean?

Peter H: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Peter M: You’re a hazard to society

Peter G: And a coward. Do twenty.

Peter H: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Ned: Tubular AF!

MJ: Mood to the max!

Peter M, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Peter G, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Peter H: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Peter M: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Ned: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Peter G: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

MJ: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Dr. Strange: Where's Peter 1, 2 and 3?

Ned: They're playing hide and seek.

Dr. Strange: Where?

MJ: I don't think you get how this game works.

MJ: What's your greatest fear?

Peter H: Being forgotten.

Peter M: Failure.

Peter G: Loud flushing toilets.

Everyone: *turns to Peter G*

Peter G: Those things are hell spawn, and I fought The Lizard.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Peter G*

Peter G: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Peter H: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Peter H: *punches wall*

Peter G and M:

Peter H: Take me to the hospital.

Peter G: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Peter G: A theif.

Peter M: Thief?

Peter G: Theif.

Peter H: I before E, except after C.

Peter G: Thceif.

Peter M: No.

Peter G: I turned out perfectly fine!

Peter M: Peter, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Peter G: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Peter M: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Peter H: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Peter M: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Peter G: Are we in trouble?

Peter M: Take a guess.

Peter H: No?

Dr. Strange, appearing out of nowhere: Take another guess.

Peter G: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Peter M: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Dr. Strange: God, give me patience.

Peter M: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Dr. Strange: If God gave me strength, you three would be dead.

Peter H: Welcome, fellow idiots

Peter G: Hello, Peter 1

Peter M: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Peter G: You underestimate me

MJ: Do you take constructive criticism?

Peter G: I only take cash or credit.

Peter H: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Peter M: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Peter H, tending to Peter G's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Peter G: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Peter M: *smacks him upside the head*

MJ: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Peter G: Thank you

Peter H: She didn't say that was a good thing

Peter G: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Peter H: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Peter G: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Incorrect Encanto: Isabela and the ‘Twins’

Mirabel: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Camilo: You would eat yourself?

Mirabel: I wouldn’t even question it

~

Mirabel: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Camilo's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

~

Camilo: You're right.

Mirabel: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~

Camilo: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Isabela: You're like 15 years old

Mirabel: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~

Trying to con some random guy

Isabela: Um, Mirabel, why am I flirting with this guy again?

Mirabel: We need money!

Isabela: You're scamming him?

Mirabel: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Isabela: What?! No way!

Mirabel: Why not? We already stole Camilo!

Camilo: Hey guys

Isabela: No, we didn't. Camilo can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!

Camilo: I wanna steal

~

Mirabel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Camilo: The cow???

Mirabel: What?

Isabela: Camilo, W H Y?

~

*Pepa finally takes Camilo to get a haircut

Mirabel, texting Isabela: Isabela! Help I’m being kidnapped

Isabela: Where are you?

Mirabel: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Isabela: I’ll call Camilo.

Camilo, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Isabela: Where’s Mirabel? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Camilo: Mirabel? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Camilo:

Camilo: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Camilo: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Mirabel: WHO ARE YOU?!

~

Madrigal Family Dinners are always chaotic

Isabela: Mirabel, can you pass the salt?

Mirabel: *Throws Camilo across the table*

~

Mirabel: Tell Camilo about the birds and the bees.

Isabela: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

~

Isabela: WHY. why did you give Camilo a KNIFE?!

Mirabel: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Isabela: Now I feel unsafe!

Mirabel: I’m sorry.

Mirabel: ... would you like a knife?

~

Isabela: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Mirabel: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Camilo: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Mirabel: Good thinking.

~

Camilo: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Mirabel: The car takes a screenshot.

Isabela: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Mirabel, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Isabela: You did WHAT–

Camilo: William Snakepeare

~

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Isabela please come to the front desk?

Isabela, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Mirabel and Camilo

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Mirabel and Camilo, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Isabela: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Isabela: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Mirabel: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Isabela: Yes!

Camilo: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you

~

Isabela, driving Mirabel and Camilo: So how was your day?

Camilo: We almost got surprise adopted!

Isabela: What?

Mirabel: We almost got kidnapped.

Isabela: Oh, okay.

Isabela: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

~

Mirabel: Why are you on the floor?

Camilo: I'm depressed.

Camilo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Isabela, please.

~

Isabela: I told Mirabel their ears flush when they lie.

Camilo: Why?

Isabela: Look.

Isabela: Hey Mirabel! Do you love us?

Mirabel, covering their ears: No.

Camilo: Oh ok

~

Mirabel: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Isabela: You’re a hazard to society

Camilo: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

~

Isabela: You have to apologize to Mirabel

Camilo: Fine.

Camilo: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

~

Isabela: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Mirabel: *turning to Camilo* How tall are you?

~

*after Mirabel told Camilo that she doesn’t like men*

Camilo: You should like men!

Mirabel: Ew, no, women are hot!

Camilo: *under his breath* No they’re not

Mirabel: 😦

Camilo: WAIT-

Mirabel: YOURE GAYYYYY-

Isabela: Dear lord-

~

Mirabel: If you were a Disney princess, which one would you be?

Isabela: I’d probably be Sleeping Beauty, with her whole rose thing

Camilo, chugging a cup of coffee: I’d be Tinkerbell cause without attention I die

[oh-three]

Temple Guard Incorrect Quotes

Rakesh is the Grand Inquisitor, everyone else is an OC from this series.

Vori: "I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me."

Rakesh: "We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

Vori: "Yes!"

Tindri: "I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you."

/

Linaleh: "Rak, keep an eye on Loktof today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched."

Rakesh: "Sure, I’d love to see Loktof get punched."

Linaleh: "Try again."

Rakesh, sighing: "I will stop Loktof from getting punched."

/

*The squad is having dinner together*

Vori: "Lok, can you pass the salt?"

Loktof: throws Rakesh across the table

/

Brakan: "Why are you on the floor?"

Rakesh: "I'm depressed."

Rakesh: "Also I was stabbed, can you get Jurr, please."

/

Vori: "Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness."

Rakesh: "Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you."

Brakan: "There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-"

/

Brakan: "WHY. Why did you give Vori a KNIFE?!"

Rakesh: "I’m sorry. She said she felt unsafe."

Brakan: "Now I feel unsafe!"

Rakesh: "I’m sorry."

Rakesh: "...Would you like a knife?"

/

Vori: "If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited."

Rakesh: "If?"

Tindri: "Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die."

/

Store Worker: "Would a Mr. Brem please come to the front desk?"

Rakesh, arriving at the desk: "Hello, is there a problem?"

Store Worker: points to Vori and Brakan

Store Worker: "I believe they belong to you?"

Vori and Brakan, simultaneously: "We got lost." :(

Rakesh: "I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-"

/

Brakan: "Are you sure this is the right direction?" 

Vori: "Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!" 

Rakesh: "In that case, we're definitely lost."

/

Vori: "I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place."

Rakesh: "You people already know too much about me."

Linaleh: "I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place."

/

Brakan: "If Vori and I were drowning, who would you save?"

Rakesh: "You two can’t swim?"

Vori: "It’s a hypothetical question, Rak! who would you save?"

Rakesh: "My time and effort."

/

Brakan: "Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container." 

Rakesh: "The cow???" 

Brakan: "What?" 

Linaleh: "Rakesh, W H Y?"

/

Vori: "What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?"

Tindri: "The car takes a screenshot."

Rakesh: "For the last time, get the fuck out."

/

Vori: "In my defense, I was left unsupervised."

Jurr: "Wasn't Rakesh with you?"

Rakesh: "In my defense, I was also left unsupervised."

/

Brakan: "What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?"

Rakesh: "Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-"

Vori: "Smad."

/

Linaleh: "What do you think Rakesh will do for a distraction?"

Tindri: "He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do."

building explodes and several car alarms go off

Tindri: "...Or he could do that."

/

Vori: "Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?"

Linaleh: "You’re a hazard to society."

Rakesh: "And a coward. DO TWENTY."

/

Loktof: "So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Rakesh does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?"

Brakan: "If Rakesh were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Rakesh jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff."

Loktof: "You jump off a cliff!"

Brakan: "Gladly. Provided Rakesh did first."

/

Jurr: "What did you do with Loktof's body?"

Rakesh: "What didn’t I do with the body?"

Jurr:

Rakesh: "Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully."

/

*Brakan and Rakesh sitting in jail together*

Brakan: "So who should we call?"

Rakesh: "I’d call Jurr, but I feel safer in jail."

/

/

Source: https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com/

Part Two: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/oh-three/689429703642284032?source=share

[bagelboys-withcreamcheese]

Our Favorite Crackhead (Thats you!) + Modern VDL Gang <3

~~

Dutch: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Reader: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Arthur: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

John: Forks are Stabby Grabbies.

Reader: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Arthur: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

John: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Hosea, annoyed: You’re all disappointments.

—

Hosea, talking to Reader on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Reader: You bet!

Hosea: At what temperature?

Reader: 535.

Hosea: That's the clock.

Reader:

Hosea:

Reader: 536.

—

Dutch: HELP! I TOLD HOSEA I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Reader, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

—

*texting*

Dutch: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.

Reader: We got spring water.

Dutch: NO.

John: With EXTRA minerals!

Reader: It's like licking a stalagmite.

Dutch: DON'T COME HOME.

John: Mmmmm cave water.

—

*Arthur and Reader sitting in jail together*

Reader: So who should we call?

Arthur: I’d call Hosea, but I feel safer in jail.

—

Arthur: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Reader: The cow???

Arthur:

John: HOW?!

—

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Hosea Matthews please come to the front desk?

Hosea, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, nodding towards Reader, John, & Arthur: I believe they belong to you?

Reader, John, & Arthur: We got lost :(

Hosea: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

—

Arthur: How's the sexiest person here~?

Reader: I don't know, how is he~?

Arthur, flustered: I-

John, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

—

Lenny: Y/N, keep an eye on Sean today. I know he’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Reader: Sure, I’d love to see Sean get punched.

Lenny: Try again.

Reader, sighing: I will stop Sean from getting punched.

—

Lenny: Are you sure this is the right direction

Sean: Course, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Reader: In that case, we're definitely lost.

—

Dutch: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?

Reader: You stab me, then when my leg gets better, we’ll buy a big ass house.

Lenny: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Reader: Good thinking.

—

Sean: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Lenny: You’re a hazard to society.

Reader: And a coward, do 20.

—

Reader: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Karen: Not if they deserve it.

Tilly: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Mary-Beth: YES?!?

—

Reader, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Tilly, pulling out an Uno card: Plus 4.

Karen, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you.

Mary-Beth, trembling: What are we playing-

—

Reader: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Lenny, not looking up from his book: Spear.

Reader: BLOCKED.

[readsrealm]

Incorrect Quotes with the Mugiwaras (mostly Ussop)

Ussop: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

**

Ussop: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

**

Ussop: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

**

Nami: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

**

Brook: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

**

Ussop: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Sanji: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Ussop: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

**

Jinbei: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Zoro: That's why I carry three swords.

**

Ussop: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Sanji: Killed without hesitation.

Ussop: No.

**

Ussop: This is a mistake

Luffy, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Ussop: But not today

Luffy, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

**

Ussop: Luffy and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Luffy: Sentences.

Ussop: Don't interrupt me.

**

Ussop: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Sanji: You’re a hazard to society

Zoro: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

**

Ussop: I trust Luffy.

Chooper: You think they know what they're doing?

Ussop: I wouldn't go that far.

**

Zoro: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Sanji: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Ussop: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

**

Ussop, texting Sanji: Sanji! Help I’m being kidnapped

Zoro: Where are you?

Ussop: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Sanji: I’ll call Zoro.

Zoro, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Sanji: Where’s Ussop? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Zoro: Ussop? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Zoro:

Zoro: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Zoro: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Ussop: WHO ARE YOU?!

**

Nami: We need to get through this locked door.Brook, give me your credit card.

Brook: Here.

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks.Franky, kick down the door.