#andrew and tom are little shits

[livejournallegacy]

Tony Hawk's American Wasteland (2005) 12. Ever Fallen in Love - Thursday "Every so often it's good to get back in touch with one of the reasons that you play music, and obviously we play music because we love music. And [Buzzcocks is] one of the bands that we really love."

[agir1ukn0w]

all my male celebrity crushes are kicking abel tesfaye’s ass in my mind

[happyunbday2u]

So I saw Venom and oh my god did that movie almost make me cry-

• venom liking the dogs and saying he won’t eat them was strangely cute

• “We. Are-“ “WE ARE A VENOM!” “..We. Are-“ “VENOM!” “No-“ “OH” “Yeah.” “We-“ “WE” “Are” “VENOM” “We need to work on that”

• How the fuck did Mulligan survive? I thought he was dead

• OMG THERES MORE SYMBIOTES

• I have an urge to draw the venom horse and all the other animals but the motivation to do it is so LOOOOOWW

• I understand that Dr. Payne sees the symbiotes as these amazing creatures and that her main goal is to fully understand them but ma’am when a soldier tells you he lost three people because of some other freaky ass alien you do not ask if he can collect any samples

• The Moon Family seems like the type of family I’d hang out with tho why would you name your kids Echo and Leaf and OH MY GOD RHYS IFANS IS THE DAD HOLY SHIT

• For anyone who doesn’t know actos he played Dr. Curtis Conners/Lizard in the Amazing Spider-Man with Andrew Garfield

• Venom singing along in Eddie’s head with the family is funny and cute to me

• “you would’ve been a great father, eddie”

• Guys I think Venom has a gambling addiction also he canonlly thinks that Eddie looks like someone who would win the Sexiest Man Alive award

• MRS CHEN!!!!!

• Also when did they learn to dance in sync?

• The shoe gag is so funny to me and idk if that’s cause my humor is broken or it’s actually funny

• Oh look it’s the Moon family again I sure hope nothing traumatizing happens to them 😃

• OH MY GOD MORE SYMBIOTES THEYRE SO COOL AND THEIR DESIGNS ARE SO- NOOOO WHY ARE THEY DYING

• Venom being so nice to the little kid will forever be cherished by me

• Holy Shit Dr. Payne has her own symbiote

• The fact that Venom still protected Eddie even as he was about to die was the saddest part of the movie and there’s no way it could get sadder-

• “Hey buddy, I just had a crazy dream… buddy?” "He’s not coming back." "But I need him back." "He wasn't meant for this place, you couldn't have kept him. and he couldn't have kept you."

• At least Eddie made it to New York and saw Lady Liberty just like Venom wanted and wHO THE FUCK CHOSE MEMORIES FROM MAROON 5 AS THE SONG FOR THAT SCENE?!?

This movies was amazing and now we all say thank you tom hardy for making this movie, tho I would like to see Eddie helping Payne with her symbiote

[seriousfic]

I think you can see a genuine loss of craft and storytelling integrity in the Spider-Man reboots over the years.

Tobey Maguire has NO ONE to talk to about being Spider-Man until MJ in 3. His inner conflict is conveyed entirely through sparsely used narration, cleverly written scenes, dream sequences. Think of how many ideas in the trilogy are delivered through striking images.

Andrew Garfield has Gwen to talk to. When he can't talk to her, he writes his innermost thoughts on a... vision board or something?

It's goddamn stupid, but then, Garfield is the canonically dumb Spider-Man who needs Gwen to explain science shit to him. Fucker.

Fucking everyone knows Tom Holland is Spider-Man and loves talking to him about every little thing he's going through. He's got an AI, he's got Happy, he's got Tony, he's got Ned, he's got Aunt May, he's got... her, and he's even got Mysterio. Nothing is conveyed through filmatism or subtext, it's all just plainly rendered talking head dialogue tossed under hand to the audience without any nuance because anything more complicated would take time and money they're either unable or unwilling to commit.

I would say they're not even trying to communicate with the audience, they're trying to obscure a lack of ideas at the core of their story. Far From Home, Mysterio wants to be an Avenger. What does he intend to do when he's an Avenger? How does he intend to cope when an actual, non-hoax threat shows up? Are there even any Avengers for him to join? Why is being an Avenger a glamorous and desirable position in this movie, but in TFAWS, it's an unpaid internship that doesn't net Sam any respect or goodwill?

This vapidity is all papered over with a bunch of bantery dialogue in an attempt to distract from how paper-thin the plot really is. And in case you think I'm being overly harsh, remember the conflict in No Way Home is that five villains don't want to be cured of their afflictions or have their lives saved. They're fighting to stop Spider-Man from helping them. Their motivation is I guess just to stay on an alien world where they have no friends or resources or even government ID, and where superheroes who can beat them up are plentiful, to, uh... hang out with each other? Seriously, what does Doc Ock's endgame look like if he succeeds in killing Spider-Man, which he's trying to do for most of the movie?

You don't know because, ha ha, Zendaya said his name is stupid. That's a better thing to spend time on than the antagonist's goal or motivation.

Seriously, what does Norman Osborn's characterization amount to besides "he's kk-razy"? Raimiverse Norman wanted to make Peter his heir out of disappointment with his own son. What is MCU Norman trying to accomplish? He's the main character besides Peter and you can't tell me; he's just doing random shit because the plot demands it.

[roses-r-rosie3]

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[imawkwardlysoc]

quarter life crisis

Song- 30/90 from tick... tick... BOOM!

Pairing- platonic! dagger squad x gn reader; dad!maverick & gn reader (like Mav as a father figure, not in that other way)

Warning(s)- None

Wordcount- 1,183

Summary- Reader's 30th birthday is coming up and they give the gang some shocking news.

C/S- Your callsign

“So C/S, your birthday is coming up right?” Callie asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded my head in confirmation.

“Oh yeah, you’re turning 30?” Tom asked from the head of the table.

We were having our weekly weekend dinner that we’ve been having since the Uranium mission. They were always held at Ice and Maverick’s house and the food that they cook is always delicious. Sends all of us into a food coma. It was kind of intimidating at first because we’re having dinner with our then captain, now rear admiral, and his husband who’s the Commander of the Pacific Fleet, now retired. After a few dinners, all of us got used to it.

“Yep,” I signed a little while keeping a small smile on my face.

“So, doing anything exciting?” Logan questioned.

“No, just planning on running errands and eating some take out while watching a movie,” I replied, feeling the irritation coming up.

“Come on, it’s the big thirty,” Jake chimed in. “Many changes in your life are coming.”

“Yeah, like me leaving the Navy,” I blurted out.

A cacophony of utensils hitting the plates echoed throughout the room. I felt everyone’s eyes on me when I told them the news.

“You’re what?” Logan was the first one to speak up.

“I’m leaving,” I repeated myself, getting up from my seat. “I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

Walking out of the dining room, I pushed the sliding door open and closed it behind me. I sat down on the steps of the back patio and looked up at the sky. Twisting a blade of grass between my fingers, I started to think if it was the right thing to tell them. Is it even the right thing for me to leave? I’ve created so many memories with this group. All of us have been through so much shit as a group which created our bond stronger. They’ve been the family that I wished for, now am I abandoning them?

“Hey kiddo,” I saw Maverick sitting next to me.

“Hey,” I looked over at him.

“That was some news ain’t it?” He chuckled.

“News alright,” I chuckled with him.

“Are you sure about it?” Mav asked.

“Sure about what?” I questioned.

“Leaving the Navy,” he clarified. “I mean your fifteen years are almost up, you could head into early retirement.”

“But is that what I want? I spent all of my twenties serving in the Navy. I had relationships that barely lasted three months,” I looked at Mav. “As I get older, there are things that I want more that I’m not able to have because I’m here. Like getting married and having kids and to travel around the world without the risk of death. Do you know how that feels?”

“Oh I know, I felt the same way after Goose died,” he sighed. “All of us get that feeling, it’s normal. It’s just your brain turning on your fight and flight mode. You actually make that decision, not your brain.”

“But if I do and leave, I feel I’m leaving all of you,” I looked at him with tears falling down. “I don’t want to do that. I feel I’m leaving my family behind.”

“Aw hun, come here,” he wrapped his arms around me pulling me into a hug. “You’re not going to leave us behind. We’re always going to be with you every step of the way. No matter how many weddings and kids you have, we’ll be there. We’ll be here forever.”

“That’s not possible, Mav,” I told him.

“Tom is gonna kill me but let me tell you a little secret. Once you reach captain status, they inject you with a serum that makes you live forever,” Mav jokes. “Just ask Cyclone. He’s actually 150.”

I let out a laugh at what Maverick said. Letting out another laugh, I wiped the tears that came down. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“No problem, just take a few days before you make your decision. Everyone will support the decision you make,” Mav placed a kiss on the top of my head.

“Thanks,” I thanked him.

He nodded his head and squeezed my shoulder before heading back to the house. Looking back at the sky, I started to think about my decision.

_______

Walking up the stairs to my apartment after having an intense conversation with Maverick and Cyclone, I reached my floor and saw Phoenix and Bob standing in front of my apartment door.

“What are you doing here?” I asked them.

“We’re taking you out?” Phoenix answered. “It’s your birthday and you’re not going to celebrate it in a depressing way.”

“Guys,” I looked at them while unlocking my door.

“Come on, get dressed and we’re taking you to the Hard Deck in twenty,” Phe told me.

“I have no choice don’t I?” I questioned.

“Nope,” Bob shook his head.

Walking into my room, I quickly grabbed an outfit consisting of denim shorts, a white t-shirt, and a Hawaiian shirt Rooster gave me for Christmas. Sliding on a pair of Vans, I grabbed my things and headed out of my room. Walking out of my room, I grabbed my things and headed out of my apartment with the pilot + wso duo. Getting into Bob’s car, he drove us to the Hard Deck.

Walking through the doors of the Hard Deck, I was met with confetti exploding in my face.

“Happy Birthday!” Everyone cheered.

“There is no way in hell we’re letting you spend your birthday alone,” Mickey said as he walked up to me and gave me a hug.

“Thanks y’all,” I thanked them.

Looking at the bar, I saw all of my family there enjoying the drinks they had in their hands. Tom and Mav were at the bar talking to Penny about things and Mav sent me a smile. I gave him a nod and grabbed myself a drink. Clinking the cup, everyone’s attention was on me.

“First of all, thank you for pulling this off. I love all of you so much and am grateful for you,” I started my speech. “Second of all, I have some news regarding me leaving the Navy.”

I looked at everyone’s reaction. All of them wanted to see what I was going to say.

“A few days ago I announced that I was leaving because of a flight or fight mode my brain gave me,” I paused a little to catch my breath. “After thinking about it for a few days, I decided to stay.”

I let out a laugh as everyone cheered. “But, I’m going to become an instructor since it gives me a slightly more flexible structure.”

“So, are you not flying with us anymore?” Reuben pouted a little.

“I’m still going to fly but not joining you guys on missions unless my help is needed,” I reassured them. “You aren’t getting rid of me soon.”

Soon all of the Dagger Squad ran up to me and hugged me.

“Well, this calls for a celebration!” Javy cheered.

I let out a laugh and celebrated my birthday with my family.

[sunshine-tattoo]

so instead of that terrible rugrats 3d reboot i propose a series about the original babies who are now adults with their own families!

some ideas:

Tom Pickles

went to university for political science and Sociology

put his leadership skills to work and now is on the city counsel

very proud of a pilot program he started to help young people get into leadership roles

married to chuckie with a daughter

Chuckie Melinda Finster

came out a a trans woman in uni

changed her name to Melinda for her late mother

she and tom immediately realized they had been in love since they were infants

she got a degree in early childhood and works with babies at a daycare

she and Tommy are married and adopted a little girl

who they named Trixie for Tom's late grandmother

Kimi Finster

stayed adventurous into adulthood

got a degree in journalism and works for a adventure travel magazine, which has her traveling all over the world

on one of these trips she met the love of her life

a trans man with a little girl of his own

she finds it hilarious that she followed in her mom's footsteps and married a single dad with a kid

she still travels from time to time but is happy writing from home most of the time with her new family

Lil DeVille

retained her childhood interest in insects

became an entomologist

traveled to lots of places to study unique insects

had a fling on one of her travels and ended up getting pregnant

decided to keep the kid and move back home for a while

Phil moved in with her to help her raise the baby

took a university position in the biology department

gave birth to twins of her own named Honeybee and Bugsley

or Bee and Bug for short

Phil DeVille

came out as gay in high school

messy butch bear

got a good union job in construction, mainly cement work

jokes about how playing in mud as a kid ensured that he'd be a construction dude

stoner

has fucked every guy on his construction crew at least once

loves his niece and nephew to pieces

fun uncle who babysits a lot

bff/ fuck buddy with Dil Pickles

Dil Pickles

came out as nonbinary and pan in high school

locally famous artist

makes a lot of weird shit that is actually quite beautiful

stoner and occasional mushroom user

helps Phil babysit the DeVille twins

Angelica Pickles

mean girl all throughout high school

had a breakthrough about herself in college

came out as bi

immediately realized she had been head over heels for Susie since they were toddlers

they dated through uni and got married

Angelica went to law school and became a defense attorney

she puts her evil tendencies to good use and works for justice for minority citizens

all the other city lawyers are terrified to face her in court

she and susie eventually have a baby baby boy through in vitro

they named him Andrew Randall for both of their dads

friends tease that his nickname could be Andy Randy

Susie Carmichael

grew up absolutely gorgeous

started modeling in her late teens

came out as a lesbian

married to Angelica with their son

retired from modeling after giving birth

runs an arts program for kids of color to find their artistic passion

dil often volunteers with the program

she and Angelica are the city's biggest power couple

[i-like-art-and-spiderman]

Random Fandom Shit

Earth: . . . Sun: . . . Lunar: . . . Please no. Sun: All I hear are screams. Earth: Ever time I dare to close my eyes. Lunar: Please stop. Both: I no longer dream Lunar: Why me? Both: ONLY NIGHTMARES OF THOSE WHO DIED!!! Later Gemini: I thought you liked Epic. Lunar: I do but they have been playing the same song for five hours straight.

Bonus: 2 hours later. Lunar: Finally, they stopped. Monty: . . . Lunar: Monty please. Monty: I keep thinking of the infant from that night, I keep thinking of the infant from that night. Earth and Sun: THIS LIFE IS AMAZING, WHEN YOU GREET IT WITH OPEN ARMS!!!!!! Meanwhile:

Tom Peter: I don't mean to tip your scale but you will fail at placing any spells on me. I just ate a flower one that drains your power, so you better cower now and flee.

Andrew Peter: You must be a liar; mortals can't acquire molly without dire consequence. Both: Then I must be a god like you cause I got this root from the ground with my bare hands. * Points at Toby Peter* Toby Peter: *sigh* Hermes gave it to you, didn't he? Both: Ok, fine, yes but regardless. You and I are not evenly matched.

Mabel and Dipper meeting baby bill. Mable: He's cute, and squishy! Dipper: Cute, he nearly kills us in the future. Mable: Hè's just a baby! HI BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Possessed Mable and Dipper: Dipper: WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!!! Mable: I MADE IT MYSELF!!!!!

Small Stan and Ford: We're hungry Bill: So go make popcorn or whatever you flesh bags eat. Stan: Grilled Cheese Bill: What!? Ford: Grill us a cheese. . . . Please. Bill: Listen little pipsqueaks, just because I have to take care of you little shits because I owe your mother for getting me out of trouble doesn't mean that I'm making you a grilled cheese! *Stan dramatically fake cries while falling to the floor* Ford also dramatically holding his brother: Look what you've done triangle man. Bill: . . . OH FOR AX0LOTL'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! *makes grilled cheese*

[chaotic-orphan]

Haiiiii !!! Do u have character descriptions for the characters in intoxicating fear?? Would LOVEE to draw fanart if that’s chills ^_^

Intoxicating Fear Introductions

Hello yes I do!!! It is absolutely chill to do fanart for them!! PLEASE TAG ME IN IT I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE!!!

I can actually do a little reveal now for this of my boards for Hero and Villain WHO HAVE NAMES NOW.

Hero — Kit Mallory

Hero’s name is Kit Mallory and he has not been having a great time… his description?

This kind of vibe, like a golden retriever but make it suffer. He’s tall— like 6ft, this kind of floppy light brown hair and his smile used to be so bright before Villain. He just turned 20 a month before Villain took him, and he wears oversized clothes and layers to make himself appear bigger and bulkier because he is a self-conscious little bean. Especially next to Superhero who seems to dwarf him.

Kit is look wise based off of Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man movies. He is determined and always wants to do good and help others more than beat the shit out of bad guys, that’s why he didn’t debut for so long. However he has no trouble fighting when he is defending someone like Other Hero or trying to defeat a Villain, he holds nothing back.

Villain— Ambrose

Then of course we have Villain, my boy.

Villain’s name is Oscar Ambrose, but Hero only knows him as Ambrose.

His looks are mostly based off of young Tom Riddle in Harry Potter, but with more ✨style✨ For example in the top left is his casual outfit and the kind of thing he wears around Kit’s house. He loves his suits and his shirt and pants combo because he can intimidate people dressed like that.

I think Young Tom riddle just captures Ambrose’s charisma and malice perfectly, because he is very boy-next-door, someone your mother would approve of you bringing home but there’s just something off about him.

He, of course, adores this. That he is unapproachable and he likes to show it off with how he dresses, speaks and presents himself. He lives off of fear day-to-day but having someone to satiate it around the clock is simply Christmas for him. Ambrose is older than Kit, he’s around 25, 6ft 4, towering over Hero and broader too. He is cruel and his eyes are dark and look into your soul, his lips just a little too red. My favourite sadist.

His hair is dark and almost silky looking, closer to black than dark brown but brown nonetheless, and he has his own board for his hair because he is meticulous about it. He also has a slight stubble that has been growing ever since he brought Kit back to his own house to torture him.

I must stress this is huge for him because he is so well groomed but he is just having too much fun with Kit to shave. His hair is more like the two top pictures below, perfectly styled and curled just behind his ears, but the same kind of cold perfection of the bottom two as well as a more similar colour.

And that is it!!! I was going to just drop in the names on the next update but this ask gave me an excuse to fangirl for a bit over my boys!!! Again please tag me in whatever art you make!!!

[irondad-defensesquad]

i may have fond childhood memories of sam raimi's spider-man trilogy, but i HATE the superiority complex that comes from its fans.

it was already an issue when andrew's spider-man arrived years ago. i remember on facebook we constantly had arguments over which one was the better spidey. well, i still choose tobey but that's more bc i grew up with his movies. even then, i never thought andrew was a bad spider-man, i did still enjoy the first amazing spider-man movie. i had a preference but i was cool with it, unlike everyone else online.

but after tom holland's spidey arrived, it feels like tobey and andrew stans gathered forces to make tom look like a wimp. so many posts here on tumblr make fun of tom's peter for needing an adult's guidance - not just tony's, i mean ANY adult figure at all - or for literally, y'know... CRYING??? when peter parker is FIFTEEN?! and even if he were an adult, everyone is allowed to cry!

they may have teamed up the three spideys canonically, but the only reason why ppl like no way home is tobey and andrew (and their villains). nobody gives a shit about tom. they just find him a little brat that's way too dependent on tony stark, except peter has ALWAYS been himself and not "iron man jr." like everyone loves saying. this is why no way home angers me so much, bc it just disrespects tom's spidey and his universe by taking everything away from him, and throwing in tobey and andrew for fanservice.

honestly, the more years go by, the more resentment i feel towards the sam raimi trilogy and the andrew movies, but especially the former, bc they're treated as sacred and if you prefer tom's spidey, you're going to be harassed both by dudebros and the a/nti tonys on tumblr.

like i'm honestly just sick of seeing tobey and andrew being used as proof that they're the better spider-men, despite the fact that spider-man is a hero with MANY adaptations, so there's not a better one out there. hell, this is why the spider-verse movies exist!

[raisinchallah]

also stunning lack of homoeroticism u cast andrew scott for this??? i do think a recurring problem with a lot of takes on ripley is that they just make him a weirdo loner with no friends rather than a guy who slips himself in with people all the time hes still quite lonely but does not want to appear that way they put so much work into meticulously sketching his life in new york but not his greenwich village gay social circle where people dont really like him and he doesnt like them and his sort of pitiful attempts to fit in but also doesnt want anyone to think hes gay but is fine joking about it literally nobody has been able to figure out how exactly to characterize the type of closet case tom ripley is their minds are too small for the layers of nesting closets going on the movie portrayed like little gay sad boy which is frankly too simple and not really what was going on other movies hes straight?? or not really any sexuality of any kind displayed in others and in the show hes like getting idk decades old cliche beats of sad looking thru window and saying um im not gay you know that right without even a hint of homoeroticism surrounding these things so its like bizarre sorry why did u cast andrew scott as one of the most iconic evil gay characters in literature and pull out facile sad look shot reverse shot shit and nothing special whats going on here

[arachnidiots]

If you had to choose a new faceclaim for your muse, who would you pick? (for both!)

What advice would you give to a new RPer? 

What is something or someone you have always wanted to write with? i.e. a particular plot, a character, etc.

new faceclaims — i answered this for liam but it’s liv hewson or nobody. as for peter, i’ve actually given this a lot of thought. i haven’t really found anyone i personally think fits him that well, at least this version of him. i think andrew is such a phenomenal choice but he is different, and i think tobey also is in ways that just wouldn’t totally encompass the somewhat kid, sweet vibe that the mcu has given him. in a perfect world, the new fc would be jewish too. for now i’m content with tom (read: im bad at fcs and i refuse to go digging through the brigade of brown haired boy fcs atm)

advice for new rpers — i think the biggest advice i can ever give is (and i have given i think…) that we are here for fun. there’s no pressure to do anything, write anything, talk to anyone. you curate your space how you want, you do what you want, and make sure that at the end of it all you’re having fun. it sounds like such a cheesy piece of advice, and i know it is because my little students like to groan when i say it but it’s really like the core of all of this

something i’ve always wanted — oh man, i have no idea! i guess a roxy centric plot would be like the gold pot at the end of the rainbow wish. roxy is such a big part of liam’s life and if i could explore that in a thread it would be incredible. that being said, roxy’s brilliant creator does not rp and i would not ask her to start for this jfbrjtkgk ALTERNATIVELY : just a plot where liam recognizes your muse but they’ve never actually met before, she’s just met an alt verse version of them. for peter, i’d love to explore him getting angry again and really at his limits. actually i’d love that for liam too. liam deserves to lose her shit so hard that the ground shakes

⨳ — MUNDAY ASKS

[thesinglesjukebox]

BILLY JOEL - "TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON"

The theme narrows a little, maybe...

[4.15]

Hannah Jocelyn: The first Melodyne’d word of this song -- P L E A S E -- had me worried. This is the latest in a series of '70s and '80s rockers coming back one last time, normally with Post Malone's producer Andrew Watt at the helm. The results can either be pleasant, like the Rolling Stones' Lady Gaga collaboration "Sweet Sounds of Heaven", or abysmal, like Elton John's horribly edited "Always Love You." But Watt's not here; behind the boards instead is industry songwriter Freddy Wexler, a Billy Joel fanboy who convinced the artist to release music again. If the song sounds a lot like "Piano Man" and "Summer, Highland Falls," repeated listens reveal it's not just a cheap nostalgia grab. It sounds exactly like a new Billy Joel song should in 2024, P L E A S E aside, with a tasteful build and some grandiose but lovely lyrics: “Pride sticks out its tongue/laughs at the portrait that we’ve become/Stuck in a frame, unable to change.” Joel occupies a weird place in pop culture -- not as acclaimed as Dylan or Springsteen, but more thoughtful and introspective than the Eagles or anyone else in his imagined supergroup. With "Turn the Lights Back On," it all makes sense. He invented an archetype now filled by musicians like Adele post-21 or even Hozier: pop songwriters with enough depth to earn them a devout following even if they’re not critics' favorites. The liner notes reveal more connections. Eclectic producer Emile Haynie drops in to provide some additional production, the same way he did on "Hello" almost a decade ago, and the song is mixed by Adele's engineer Tom Elmhirst. It's an effective repositioning of Joel not as a "33-hit-wonder", not as a poet, but as one of the great pop balladeers and craftsmen. And my dad loves it, which is all that really matters. [7]

Alfred Soto: Despite the co-writers and a video whose nostalgia bid is as, ah, shameless as Paul McCartney's last year, "Turn the Lights Back On" sounds like any generic thing that might've appeared on Storm Front or The Bridge. Which is the point. [4]

Aaron Bergstrom: A direct descendant of Elton John's far superior "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore," as underlined by their similar music video treatments. While Joel was able to use cutting-edge AI technology to de-age himself in his video, Sir Elton had to make do with the tools available to him back in 2001, which is to say, Justin Timberlake. (Both AI and Timberlake are now trying to make their own music, with limited success.) [5]

Ian Mathers: Get the fuck outta here with this uncanny valley "AI" CGI shit. I'm not shocked boomers would cling to yet another way to deny they're old as fuck now -- it'll happen to all of us, I'm sure -- but it's still repugnant. Despite Joel being away for years, god knows you still hear the hits, so I'm kind of shocked that his voice seems to have lost most of its distinctive timbre. If you'd played me this blind I don't think I could have told you the singer, although the voice would have felt weirdly familiar. And look, respect to the man's undeniable achievements in his craft (which even haters should admit he takes pretty damn seriously) and especially stardom/mass popularity, but partly given the characterlessness to his performance here, my answer to "did I wait too long, to turn the lights back on?" is... yeah, you kinda did. I don't think the reason I loved the ABBA comeback singles and not this is just because I like ABBA and don't care for Billy Joel; I genuinely think they did a better job on playing off their context than he does here. [5]

TA Inskeep: I'd like to keep them off, please.  [1]

Isabel Cole: Billy Joel was one of the few artists my whole family could agree on during long trips in the car; my first concert was his dual tour with Elton John at Madison Square Garden. So on the one hand, the sheer nostalgic sentiment aroused in me by the thought of Billy going back to songwriting after all these years is real, and powerful. On the other, I know whereof I speak when I say that even assessed by the generous lens of someone who was once a 13-year-old girl glad to name Songs in the Attic as her favorite album, this is mid-level Billy at best. Lyrically, so much of his appeal has always been his willingness to indulge—in shamelessness, in sentiment, in spite, in just being kind of an asshole—but this song is too busy wrestling ponderously with its own existence to have that kind of fun; musically, it’s just “I’ve Loved These Days” but not as good. [4]

Rachel Saywitz: It's good, for a budget store "Piano Man."  [5]

Dave Moore: The best thing I can say for this lugubrious comeback ballad, loosely patterned on vintage Billy Joel and a dollop of "Hey Jude," is that it technically clocks in at under four minutes. The worst thing I can say about it is that I am not yet convinced the vocals aren't BillyJoelAI, though it does sound like him really playing the piano (derogatory). [3]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: God, what a trudge — the type of pianoman mewls I thought every Joel song would be as an uneducated youth. But then I heard "Movin' Out," and what a fuckin' joint! (Fun fact: I think a quick browse of Billy Joel's biggest hits has taught me "Movin' Out" is, uh, the only BJ jam I like. Sorry.) [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: I dislike the term "overproduced" in criticism; it's often a way to sneer at pop without having to say something so gauche. But when you have a swelling string section -- a mercilessly effective cheat code to make a listener moved -- and yet that listener cannot be moved because she can't fucking hear it over everything else in the arrangement, your song is overproduced. When you autotune everything about your singer's voice except the notes that he actually flubbed, your song is -- well, not overproduced exactly, but produced poorly. Can't imagine how I'd feel if I were even a Billy Joel fan! One singular point because I learned something: it's not just the de-aging "AI" (scare quotes), Billy Joel really did look kinda like Harry Styles back then. (Harry Styles would probably love to remake this. It would still be a [1]). [1]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: This absolutely shouldn't work on me. I, of sound mind and body and possessing no strong relationship with the music of Billy Joel, ought not to have any reaction to this at all. It's a Billy Joel song that is once again about the romance between the performer and the audience, hitting all the marks he last hit 30 years ago. If nearly everything else he's done leaves me inert, then this should do the same. Yet something about its twilight glory, the way Joel puts himself through his own paces, moves me nonetheless.  [6]

Brad Shoup: I know I'm not the first person to interpret this as a metaphor for Joel's relationship with the public. For me, he's always been a sort of pop midpoint, and I've never been able to budge him. Everything he's ever done has been... fine: the bangers always fuck up somewhere, the groaners are never that embarrassing. So leaving things off with "The River of Dreams" (my favorite) wouldn't have been a bad way to go. This is confident schlock. The snare smacks like a worn copy of "Bridge Over Troubled Water"; he does a little "Piano Man" twirl before the orchestra goes for broke. I don't think he waited too long; I think this song was within him the whole time, for better or worse. [5]

Nortey Dowuona: I understand the hatred. For us, being smooth and easy on the ears is a crime. To refuse the challenges that push the artform of popular music and music culture, or worse, to fight them tooth and nail, is enough to make you an enemy in our eyes. But I do understand the actual reason to simply play to the middle of the road: to connect with everyone since you have learned, possibly later or earlier, we are a rare and bold breed, despite the infighting, backbiting and slimy behavior I will not detail here. Billy Joel has waited long enough -- he at the height of his popularity was despised and condemned, a figurehead for the stultifying demands of white yuppiedom. Unfortunately he was wrong; the fire was started, and will never stop. We, as a far more revered and loved writer said, made our choice as a species, and it's just a question of how long it takes to play out. Billy once wrote of New York being destroyed and its citizens fleeing like rats to Miami, reminiscing over their glory days. But now in 2024, New York refuses to go away. Our mayor, as Wiki and MIKE said, is a cop, and millions are homeless and starving, struggling to keep afloat and trying not to crumble every time a blank, greasy-faced kid with worn-out clothes playing with a iPhone 14 who could afford to give you $5 shakes his head to ignore you. I understand the hatred. But I can't feel it because the hatred feels pointless, empty, a target for those old timers who have fled the sinking ship and their ancestors who only know to despise the old place from stories and memories. He might've waited too long to turn the lights back once since the wires have rotted and the bulbs are broken, but not because the city is empty. It's full of your fanboys and their grandchildren, who now feel the sour bitterness that drove you to flee and cannot choose any other feeling. It's not too late -- it's never too late. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[clown-reads-homestuck]

1-50

First real post of my readthrough of homestuck! Just getting right into it.

It's so funny that some random user just named his ass John Egbert.

I really miss the style of just importing really crusty jpegs of real objects into your artwork. It speaks to the mid 2000s newgrounds user that still dwells in my decrepit soul. We should bring this back.

This seems like a nightmare of a narrative device to write around. Though I guess I understand it because it kinda deters just picking up everything.

Do it John. Shit on your desk. This animation is super cute though.

What the hell is the background image supposed to be on this. Also GODS I would kill for a computer screen like this.

Having war flashbacks to when my IRL WoW friends would use the term loot in public like it was nothing. This is the real relic of this era. Also what the fuck kind of username is turntechGodhead. It's probably a reference I'm not getting but I've never seen the term godhead used outside of elder scrolls lore.

This is so quaint in 2023, I mean who doesn't know what piss tastes like. Also this whole exchange makes absolutely no sense if you haven't seen Little Monster starring Howie Mandel and Fred Savage. does Howie pee in a kids mouth in that movie???

I have vague memories of people talking about monocles so much more often when I was a growing up. I feel like the internet had more of a fascination for them back then because fake rich people made us less pants shittingly angry. Also this is such an early 2010s level humor joke jeez.

I thought this motherfucker was TOM from Toonami. Also COOL CLICKABLE pages, I didn't even know this had that. Least not this early on.

This hideous book is a joy to look at. It reminds me of the weird intermission screens in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I misread this as making me so hard all the time. I almost blacked out.

This is a lot more word salady than I expected. That's not really a negative though

Not gonna lie a magazine like this would do numbers nowadays. It's kind of weird that a little bit of bro culture kinda just became normal culture for dudes generally. I wonder Andrew Hussie had something specifically against GamePro at the time or if it was just for the pun. Also John why do you own this magazine.

Yooo CLOWN TIME. I guess Harlequins in this case but still I didn't expect clown stuff to start showing up this early. I know Hussie is a clown eboy or something nowadays so I knew they had to be in this.

I would be bing chilling in this living room dude, this is so cozy. Also wtf does John's dad do to afford this happening pad.

Final page! This is pretty fun so far. Stare into the flames John, let your hate go stronger.

Till next time anyone who actually reads this blog!

[unwillingwriter]

Never Saw It Coming {Tobey & Andrew)

—

Summary: Basically Tobey Cares For Andrew and that’s mostly it.

Author: This is a old Story that I wrote on A03 so yeah.

—

This was the last thing Tobey Maguire ever expected, the last thing. When the hell did it even happen?... Oh right when he said ‘I love you guys’ with complete sincerity and genuine affection Tobey knows when someone is acting and when they’re not, and Andrew was definitely not acting– the pure love and affection that showed in those chocolate iris told himself. Shock in the middle of filming the actor couldn’t help but stammer the words ‘thank you’ out of his mouth as Tom nodded with a tight but sweet smile understanding that Andrew actually meant it and went back to acting.

Tobey felt guilty that he didn’t say it back at the time, understanding that the Brit was genuinely happy to be there and shoot the movie, loving the feel of his old spider suit. Tobey couldn’t blame him, from the backlash of supposed fans shitting on him and The Amazing Spider-Man probably brought him down even if Andrew never voiced it in interviews Tobey could tell by his tone and body language when they were shooting the scene where Tom and him ask his Peter how his whole web situation worked and talked about the villains they fought in their universes. ‘I’m lame compared to you guys.’ Sure it was Andrews Peter and Spidey talking but Tobey could see it was a bit of Andrew speaking as well and that was a big no no for the eldest actor so he said the first thing that came to mind and didn’t think about the script at all ‘Woah Woah Woah can we take it back to the I’m lame part?, you are not lame you're amazing.’ Tobey didn’t miss the way Andrew's cheek turned the lightest shade of pink averting his eyes from the oldest ‘say it’ he pushed gently at the time watching a tiny smile appear on the second oldest face ‘nah man but thanks.’ ‘You’re amazing’-- ‘yeah yeah I know–’ ‘then say it’, ‘thanks I just really needed to hear that’ Andrew chuckled a bit.

It was 2 or 3 weeks after the movie was done and the cast decided to hangout in separate groups. Oddly enough the villain cast hangs out with each other which Tobey found rather amusing as the dynamic trio– like in the movie went to hang out as well. Tobey didn’t miss the way Zendaya and Tom looked at eachother– he fucking called it – he saw the way Jacob rolled his eyes in a loving manner and walked a little farther ahead to give the love birds some space. Now that only left himself and Andrew, Tobey glanced over to the british man who was just putting on his coat “Hey Andy” Andrew head shot up looking towards the other, his eyes wide and curious with a hint of confusion “me?.” Tobey huffed out a laugh.

“Yes you, who else would I call Andy, or is there another Andrew on set that I don’t know about?.” Maguire teased lightly, tilting his head a bit.

“N-No, at least I don’t think so… unless–.” Andrew began his rambling, he really did suit the role of Peter Parker didn’t he?.

Tobey light heartedly rolled his eyes at the brunette walking over to him grabbing his elbow dragging him out of the hotel room “Come motormouth, we’re gonna eat out.”

Meanwhile in a different universe…

Peter felt it, whatever it was exactly but he felt it. His chest filled with warmth and calmness, the hairs on the back of his neck standing. It wasn’t a dangerous feeling, it was a rather sweet feeling that put him at ease.

“Parker?.”

“I feel it too, I feel it too.”

[nerdby]

The Loki season two trailer dropped today. Judging from the trailer, the series seems to be leaning more into the series' horror elements. I'm basing that largely on the soundtrack because I have not met a single person that isn't creeped the fuck out by theremin music, myself included. That being said this is definitely your typical horror story. It falls into the social horror genre, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite subgenres.

Social horror is a newly emerging genre of horror that examines all of the fucked shit that we as a society allow to take place simply because the mainstream says that it's ok.

In the case of the Loki series that is allowing one person to take the fall for crimes that he didn't even do and also hunting down and murdering someone simply cause they're transgender. And I know that not everyone headcannons Sylvie as trans and for those of you who don't, I have a question for you:

If Sylvie isn't trans and was simply born female, then why didn't the TVA come for her as an infant? Why would they wait until she was a child capable of complex magic and, ya know, running away?

Just a little something to think about.

It does seem as though Sylvie's story is taking the back burner in season two. Or that's how it seems in this trailer. She didn't exactly turn out to be a fan favorite among stalkerish Hiddlestoners who can't stand to see Tom have a love life even if it's an imaginary one. Or among biphobic assholes who insist that being a straight-passing relationship negates a bisexual's queerness. So it would make sense if Sylvie got less screen time, but she was also a huge part of the season one story arc.

I, personally, thought it was nice that Loki had someone who didn't exist simply to remind him of what a terrible person he was simply for existing. But it's like I said their kiss didn't really eek me out as much as it did other people cause I guess I'm desensitized. Desensitization is what happens when you watch A LOT of horror movies over a long period of time. Or when you just live through so much fucked up shit that you just stop caring.

I do have a line, though, and I don't go out of my way to read about incest and shit like that. Like there's this book called All The Ugly & Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood that I absolutely refuse to read because the plot is basically that this girl's life is so fucked up that the only good thing she has is an incestous relationship with her brother or someone. That's just fucking torture porn, ok? It's disgusting. But the whole incest/self-cest trope also plays into the social horror thing cause that happens quite often in horror stories.

Cause usually when characters end up in a consensual incestous relationship it's because they've bonded over shared trauma and are kept so isolated both socially and psychically.....That I guess it starts to feel like it's impossible for someone other than this sibling or whoever to love and understand them.

It's not meant to be sexy or funny. It's meant to be tragic. And like you think you might be some desensitizing yourself I highly recommend--

Vampire Knight by Matsuri Hino

Flowers In The Attic by V.C. Andrews

Bates Motel tv series

Vampire Knight also exists as an anime, but I don't think the complete series was ever put to film. So if you wanna know how it ends then you need to read the manga. Flowers In The Attic is also a movie and you definitely want the 1987 version if you decide to watch it. Here's the trailer--

The movie is (or was) available to stream for free on Tubi.

And Bates Motel is a TV series that depicts a prequel to Robert Bloch's classic horror novel Psycho. The novel was adapted as a movie by Alfred Hitchcock whose well-known for putting horror movies on the map with his film, The Birds. Bates Motel stars Freddie Highmore and my favorite scream queen, Vera Farmiga who you may know from the Conjuringverse movies that depict the work of famed paranormal investigators (and con-artists) Ed and Lorraine Warren. Here's the trailer for that, too--

If you guys think some of these are too much for you to handle or that they're too triggering, I recommend looking up reaction videos and embracing schadenfreude because I can promise you if the person watching is a first time viewer.......Well, the first time I watched Bates Motel I was pretty much making this face the entire time--

So yeah.