#That was where most things went wrong I think

[steddieas-shegoes]

back in the crease

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'traffic'

all of my holiday drabbles will be from the bear hugs universe. many of them could probably be read standalone, but will make the most sense and be enjoyed best if you read that first!

special thank you to @thisapplepielife who discovered the ebug hero david ayers last week and said "bear hugs steve would" and you're so right! i had to combine it with another ebug situation that happened recently in the hockey world to make it fit the prompt.

rated t | 939 words | no cw | tags: established relationship, fluff, goalie steve harrington

🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅🥅

Steve didn’t ever think he’d get a call when he applied for the job. There were three others on the list last he checked.

So much had to go wrong for him to get called.

Apparently, so much went wrong.

And now, he’s stuck in traffic during a snowstorm, trying to get to a game that starts in less than ten minutes so he can dress to be the backup goalie. Providence isn’t an easy drive even in the best of conditions, and these are far from the best of conditions.

Eddie is home with Rory, even though they desperately wanted to come. Steve told them there was no way they were risking the roads with him this late.

He’s glad he insisted.

He’s been at a dead stop for 20 minutes and it doesn’t seem like he’ll be moving any time soon.

He glances to the backseat, where he’s thrown his hockey bag and sticks, in too much of a rush at home to bother taking Rory’s stuff out of the trunk first. He’s not even sure if he remembered to pack everything after the last practice session he went to for Rory.

He looks ahead at the cars in park along the side of the road, the ones in front of him in the same position, and he makes a decision. It may not be a smart one, but it’s the only one he knows to make.

He unbuckles and turns his hazard lights on, shutting off the car. He sees someone a few cars ahead doing the same. This is crazy.

The craziest thing he’s done since signing up to do this.

He steps out and grabs his sticks and bag from the backseat.

He locks the car.

And he starts walking.

Three miles is not going to be pleasant, and with all his stuff on his shoulder, he’s not sure he’s gonna make it in time. But he has to try.

The snowfall isn’t heavy, but the roads weren’t salted in time, and people who haven’t been prepared for winter are holding up the people who are. It’s the same every year, but usually he can avoid long drives.

He spends the first mile power walking, and he can hear people shouting at him, but he’s ignoring them. Steve is focused on the one goal: get to the game.

The second mile is harder, and he has to pause a couple times to adjust his bag and take a few deep breaths. He stays in shape at the gym, but he doesn’t want to use up all his energy walking to this game, especially if he ends up in the net.

He thinks his phone is going off in his pocket, but he doesn’t have time or enough hands to check it.

The last mile is easier because someone has managed to clear most of the left lane of cars. No more weaving between trucks and vans, just a mostly straight shot. People are cheering for him, probably recording him. He doesn’t care.

He just has to get there.

He does. He’s late, but he makes it.

They rush him to the locker room to change and he misses most of the first intermission because they don’t want him going to the bench when the puck’s in play. He’s borrowing a jersey and it’s a little too small over his gear, but he doesn’t think he’s even gonna have to get on the ice, so it’s fine.

Except halfway through the second, the goalie gets a puck to the neck. At first, he seems like he shakes it off, like the shock got him more than the actual pain of the shot. But then he calls for a switch and the coach pats Steve’s back and he’s back on the ice.

It’s not Boston, so it’s not quite the same, but it’s close enough. It’s the colors, and it’s the atmosphere. It’s the same type of Bruins pride he had for such a short time, that meant the world to him, that gave him so much happiness in the time he had.

He doesn’t let himself get emotional until after they win, though.

Luckily, the Providence Bruins are a pretty defensive-minded team, and he only faced eight shots the entire third period. He saved them all.

Helmet taps, cheering, stick taps, and then he’s back in the locker room. He’s sore, but he thinks it’s more from walking three miles to get here than the game.

He gets first star of the game.

Eddie’s calling him as he’s unlacing his skates and he answers because that’s more important than whatever plans the guys have after this win.

“Rory is right here, so I can’t say what I’m really thinking, but I think you need to hurry home,” Eddie is talking fast and Steve is flushed red from the implications.

“Well, hopefully my car is still where I left it,” Steve says.

“Dad!” Rory steals the phone. “That glove save at the end was so good, you didn’t even have to try, it was like…like…natural!”

Steve laughs. “Thanks, green bean. It’s way past your bedtime, though.”

“But I wanna stay up until you get home.”

“It could be morning before I’m home. I’ll be there when you wake up, okay?”

“Fiiiiine,” Rory says and passes the phone back to Eddie.

“I’m serious. You need to hurry home.”

Eddie hangs up and Steve opens the Uber app. Hopefully his car is fine, and traffic should be better by now, but if not, he may have to spend a few hundred dollars on an Uber home.

[the-voldsoy]

Alrighty it is almost the end of the year so, in no particular order, here are podcasts I recommend of the ones I've listened to this year! (let me tell you picking favourites for this was So hard) (Unfortunately I can't just do all of them because there are almost 50)

Hello From The Hallowoods: The world ended, but we're still here, and shit's weird. (Has made me cry; even the trees are queer; my comfort show<3)

Camp Here And There: Good morning campers! The time is 7:63AM and Cabin Magpie Moth has spontaneously combusted! Whichever one of you little woodworms can put it out first can come get a puffy sticker from me in the Nurses Cabin! (Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? I don't know, you'd have to check to be sure)

Wooden Overcoats: Funn Funerals used to be the only funeral parlor on the island. It isn't anymore. (Sitcom, the main characters are the most miserable wet cats you ever did see)

Re: Dracula: Maybe this year, they'll be okay. Maybe this year they'll all live. Maybe this year he won't go, and she'll be alright.

Magnus Protocol: TMA's louder, bolder, less serious younger sibling.

The Silt Verses: Oh boy. Let me tell you, you will look at crabs differently after this. (WET horror, genuinely the best pod I've ever heard)

Archive 81: Dan, a newly hired archivist, has to listen to and catalogue a set of old audio tapes. The tapes contain interviews conducted by someone Dan has never heard of. Dan is in an isolated bunker in the middle of the woods. Surely nothing will happen to our dear friend Dan. (What is it with archivists and getting snatched by The Horrors? Ignore the tv show it doesn't exist)

Red Valley: Just a couple of guys with an interest in research station Red Valley, whose focus was cryonics. It's completely defunct now. I wonder what happened. (Ethics? What's that?)

Woe.Begone: Some say it's about time-travel, some say it's about keeping yourself and those close to you alive, some say it's about online safety. All can agree on one point: What the fuck why are there cowboys now

Midnight Burger: Midnight Burger is a time-travelling, dimension-spanning diner. Dunno how it works or where it's going next. We open at six! (The episodes are an hour long minimum but it's worth it. Comedy sci-fi, lighthearted fun :)

Old Gods of Appalachia: The Appalachians are spooky y'all. (The narrator's voice is so comforting in this, it feels like campfire stories)

Dreamboy: Went into this pod being told it was made by the people who made WTNV and absolutely no other information. Let me tell you I did not expect the main character to tell us that he got a hard-on in the first episode. (The most sexually explicit pod I've listened to)

The White Vault: Nice little trip to Svalbard to check on the remote research station, surely nothing will go wrong :) (Holy Fucking Shit What Is That) (Recommend 1st season especially to The Thing (1982) enjoyers)

Camlann: Ever wished that you were apart of Welsh folklore or Arthurian legends? Or perhaps some of the last people left on Earth? No? Ah well, you'll pick it up soon enough. (Three idiots and a dog in Wales, fighting for their lives)

Breaker Whiskey: Imagine. Being the only person on earth. Just you. Just you, and someone on the radio. Just you, the radio, and a woman you absolutely do NOT have sexual tension with. (This one looks really long because it has 260+ episodes, but they're like 4 minutes long each so it's not really)

Ethics Town: Don't worry about it. (Cannot recommend enough, it is a mindfuck)

Tell No Tales: What if ghosts were a thing that could infest a place, like rats or roaches or mold? What if it was your job to exterminate them? And the million-pound question, do ghosts deserve rights? (I am waiting so so patiently for the rest of s2)

Remnants: You wake up in a place you recognise. You have always been there. You have no idea where you are. You see a stranger's life. You recognise them. You knew them once, you think. Discard or reshelve? You don't know what that means. It does not matter. Discard or reshelve, that is the question. (I am going insane over this pod)

Not Quite Dead: Vampires! Alfie is an overworked A&E nurse who does not have time for this shit. Unfortunately, he does not have a choice in this matter. (A really interesting take on vampirism, going into the biology. It is fascinating, and an exciting story)

Travelling Light: Space Quaker! Listen to the Traveller tell you about every new planet and civilisation they visit. Whattttt noooo they don't have a crush on one of their crew members what are you taaaalking abouttttt (Very comforting pod, beauty in the mundane in a way? But not mundane because yk. Aliens)

Someone Just Like You: Brilliant horror, just really well written. I don't even have words for it. So far there are only 6 episodes and the concepts/plots of each seem cheesy, but my GOD the execution.

The Bright Sessions: People with powers get therapy! Thank God, they need it so bad. (I love one particular antagonist so much, I need to put him in a microwave)

Poe: Evermore: It wasn't until I started this that I realised that Edgar Allen Poe would have had a Boston-ish accent. Reallyyy interesting story of his life, and I keep getting jumpscared by VAs I recognise. Faulkner Silt Verses what are you doing here.

Witherburn After School News: Your school radio host getting WAY more involved in the news than they should. Really hope they're still breathing. Love the folklore section though!

Before The Tone: Voicemails from someone who just got a job they probably shouldn't have. (Brilliant idea for the format, and great execution)

I Am In Eskew: What if you were trapped? What if you had a home, a wife and a child? What if they aren't real? Are you sure? Go and check. What if your city tried to kill you? What if it loved you very much, more than anyone else? (Horror but the narrator is the saddest wettest man you've ever heard)

Sherlock & Co: Modern day Sherlock Holmes, and John Watson is a true crime podcaster. Dear God I did not think it would be as compelling as it is.

[trainer-from-unova]

day on the green

𖤐 bandom blog: @princess-lvcifer 𖤐 english ao3 𖤐 spanish ao3 𖤐 edits 𖤐 kofi 𖤐 𝄞 𖤐

ship: eddie munson x f!reader

summary: you travel with your best friend through the country to go to a metal festival in San Francisco with him

a/n: lots of metallica references as usual / i wrote this in summer 2022 / english isn't my first language, sorry if something's weird expressed

cw: fluff, best friends to lovers, sexual and romantic tension, sexual humor, affectionate insults

word count: 12'1k

"______, Eddie's calling," said her mother, entering her room without knocking or asking permission. She was listening to Metallica at full volume and knew she probably wasn't going to hear her.

"I'm coming," she said dropping the magazine she was reading, leaving it at the foot of his bed and getting up from it to go downstairs to where the house phone was. "Hey, what's up?" She wanted to hold back the urge to smile like the lovesick fool she was, since her mother was circling the house like a shark, and she didn't want her to know she liked him, not because she was ashamed of him or because her mother thought he was a bad influence — on the contrary, she and Eddie got along well, she didn't see him as a bad guy, but who would want her mother to know which boy she liked? And on top of that he was a close friend who often went to her house.

"Are you at home?" he asked nervously.

"Can't you see I am, asshole?" She asked now. "What's wrong?"

"Okay, don't move from there, I'm on my way," he said, and hung up.

"You fucking asshole," she whispered to herself, she hated being left wondering, she was worried, but knowing Eddie it wouldn't be serious. The most serious thing that could happen was that he'd get caught smoking or selling weed.

She didn't hear Eddie park his van in front of her house because her music was on full blast, but if it wasn't for that, she would have heard him. She had good hearing and recognised the noise made by the engines of his loved ones' cars. She could also recognise the sound of keys or footsteps as they walked.

What she did hear was the doorbell of the house in the distance. She got out of bed and turned the music down, it was obvious that Eddie was there to tell her something, although she had no idea what, but she'd better be able to hear it loud and clear, she'd listen to her favourite songs loud and clear at any other time.

The door to her room was open, so he didn't ask permission to enter. He was practically at his houss, but he did leave it ajar when he entered.

"What is it?" She asked indignantly as she sat cross-legged on her bed. "You've got me fucking intrigued!"

"Boom," he said, raising his right hand, in which he held a pamphlet. She could clearly see names of rock and metal bands she knew: Scorpions, Ratt, Y&T, Metallica, Rising Force, Victory.... Though his eyes went to her favourite band, Metallica, hardly paying attention to the others, as she didn't care that much about them.

Eddie took off his shoes and sat down on her bed, facing her, also with his legs crossed.

"It's this year's Day on the Green," he said, handing her the sheet, "Saturday 31 August. The next day it's Wham! and some other pop bands I obviously don't want to see. I've always wanted to go. We have to go, I won't take no for an answer."

"18'50$... It's expensive, and in Oakland! How are we going to get there, if we go at all?"

"But it's worth the price! And we can go by bus, or by plane, or in my caravan... Yeah, I think my caravan would be better. Think about it, you and me, travelling around the country in a caravan, listening to our favourite songs and shouting them out, and then listening to them played live by their creators and together with more fans..." He couldn't fit the smile on his face and his eyes were shining, it was adorable when he looked so excited, you could tell he liked what he was talking about. "It's a great plan, you can't say no," he said pointing his right hand with his index finger.

It was true, it was a great plan and she couldn't say no to him. And she really wanted to live such a unique experience with him, and alone, but the money issue put her off, and she didn't know what her mother would say about it.

"And on top of that, it's the summer holidays, you can't give me the excuse of school."

"Yes, but the money and my mother..."

"Don't worry about the money, you know..." He whispered.

Yes, it was true, he was loaded from selling weed, but it was bad for her to accept that he paid her entrance fee and everything, and that he drove and paid for the petrol.

"Even though you're failing all your science subjects, you're a good girl, I'm sure she'll let you have a whim like that. And I'm sure she doesn't think too badly of me, does she?"

"I hope so... But before we say anything, we should organise it a bit, so that she sees that we're not going on a wild adventure, that we're organised, and get her in a good mood."

"I see the logic of it, but it has to be as soon as possible, tickets may fly."

"Then let's get down to work. We must go to the library to consult maps and their routes."

That's what they did. They worked out how long the trip would take to get there and back, when they would have to leave Hawkins and when they would be back, motels to spend the night in, gas stations, how much money each of them would have to take with them to pay for expenses, how much the whole trip would cost, and a little emotional and psychological blackmail to use on _______'s mother if needed.

The next day, she let her mother know that Eddie would be going to dinner in the evening and that they wanted to tell her something important. The second she thought they wanted to tell her that they had been together for a long time or even worse, like a pregnancy, but she cleared her worries by telling her it was nothing of the sort.

"I want you here at six o'clock sharp. Get ready," she told him as she got out of Eddie's caravan in front of her house. Her house was between the school and his house, so he was her taxi driver.

"I know, I know."

"Isn't he coming in yet?" asked her mother when she saw her walk in the front door alone.

"No, he's going home to get ready," she said as she made her way to the stairs and took her backpack off her shoulders, "or did you want him to get ready here?"

"What should I make him for dinner?"

"Whatever you want, he'll eat it all pleased," she said on the first floor.

Hours passed and the doorbell rang. It was time. Luckily, he had been on time. For what he wanted to do, he was, but not for his early morning classes at school.

Eddie wasn't that uncomfortable, because he already knew the mother of his best and only female friend, but she had told him that her mother saw him as a possible boyfriend, so he knew what was going through her mind when she saw him with her daughter (the same thing happened with some people at school), and that made him ashamed, because on top of that, at least on his part, he did feel something for _______, something more than friendship.

And well, besides, it was the first time he had dinner and spent so much time with her mother, and of course, there was also the main plan, the mission they had to achieve: to convince her to let her go with him on a trip around the country and go to that metal festival. Technically she didn't need her permission, since she was already 18, but being a woman and still living under her roof, for things like that it was better to have her approval.

"Well, what is it that you wanted to tell me? Intrigue kills me," said her mother, as the three of them sat down at the table.

"Like mother, like daughter," he thought.

"Well, mom, as you know, I love metal, and so does he. It's a music that has helped me a lot in many ways for a long time, and so has Eddie, even though we've known each other for half a year. There's going to be a festival in Oakland on Saturday the 31st of August and we'd really like to go. We've thought about going in his caravan, both of us driving every couple of hours. Also, because of the proximity, we'd like to visit San Francisco and Los Angeles for at least a day, and we'd come back through the south, through the Bible Belt. He has insisted on paying for everything but I have told him no, I could pull from my savings or start working a bit. We've also looked at routes and motels to sleep in, and if anything should happen to the car Eddie is a good mechanic and has all the necessary equipment. I would call you every time we stopped at a place with a phone box. And I think I deserve to go to the festival, plus it's something that would make me very happy and travelling around the country in a car would be an experience..."

"And of course I would look after her in every way, you don't have to worry about anything," he said as seriously as she did.

"Of course, of course," she pointed her index finger at him, giving him a quick glance and a quick nod.

She looked at each of them and a smirk appeared on her face. They were both already fearing the worst.

"All this to ask me to take you on a trip and go to a concert?" she asked incredulously while holding back her laughter.

"...Yes?"

"For God's sake, you don't need to worry so much, you're both old enough to ask my permission. Besides, I can't wait for you to see the world and get wise," she said looking only at her daughter.

"So, ma'am, does that mean yes?" asked Eddie.

"Of course it does," she replied, and they both looked at each other smiling from ear to ear and high-fived.

She looked at them tenderly. It was obvious to her that they were both in love with each other.

Time passed ridiculously slowly.

During the months of waiting before the festival began, Eddie slightly increased the prices of the weed he sold, and started giving private guitar lessons to kids in town to earn a little extra and to disguise where he was getting the money to afford the trip. Meanwhile, she started giving drawing, English and Spanish classes to other kids.

On the first day of May Live Aid was announced, but despite being closer than Oakland, as it would be held in Philadelphia and would be no more than a day's drive (not counting the return trip), it was too expensive. 35$ each ticket. The price was understandable, as the event was going to be an unprecedented spectacle, where many people would be working for a good cause, but they already had enough expenses with what the Day on the Green tickets cost and the trip they would be making. Besides, even if they didn't go to the festival, raising so much money in such a short time was quite difficult, as Live Aid would be on 13th July, and tickets flew quickly, and rightly so, seeing the list of artists who were going to attend to help the cause.

Anyway, they watched Live Aid together on TV and that made them want to go to Day on the Green even more.

And finally the day came for them to go on the trip. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't climbing the walls like Spiderman herself because she was so nervous. She had never left Indiana, she had never made such a long trip, both in terms of distance and days, and she had never been separated from her mother for such a long time. But at least she was going to experience all that with her best friend and the boy she was in love with.

She had been ready since the day before and had gone through her luggage four times, and was about to do it for the fifth time, when a clack sounded outside her house. It was him, no doubt about it. She almost had a heart attack. It was time to go.

She left the house with the luggage and she and her mother pretended to put the things in the caravan, but he got off them and insisted on doing it himself.

As it was almost the end of August, and it was so hot, he was wearing no shirt and shorts. Both young friends were embarrassed for her mother to see him like that, but it was an understandable outfit because of the heat.

She hugged her mother goodbye and told her that she loved her very much. As the mother she was, she could feel her nervousness.

"Don't worry about anything, silly, you'll have a great time, you'll see," her mother whispered in her ear as they hugged.

"I know, but..."

"Before you go, I have to take a picture of you!" said her mother as they parted, "Come on, get together."

Eddie put his arm around ______'s shoulders and pulled her close to him, resting his head on hers, and she posed, making a peace sign with one of her hands. He made a devil sign with his free hand.

Her mother took the camera off her neck and handed it to her, they got into the car, both waved goodbye to her mother and Eddie drove off.

"I CAN'T WAIT!" he shouted.

"Same," she said, laughing a little nervously.

"Well, it doesn't look like it from you," he said, looking at her strangely, "what's wrong?"

"It's nerves, don't worry."

"Nerves about what?"

"To make such a trip, to be so far away from my home and my mother for so long, my comfort zone."

"I mean, it would fuck me up at this point, but if you don't want to go, there's still time for me to turn back..."

"What the fuck are you talking about?! No way, of course I want to go on the trip and to the festival, and I've got you on top of that. I wouldn't do this madness with just anyone."

"Do you consider going on a trip and to a festival a crazy thing?" he asked with a mocking smile.

"No, but yes, if it's that far away..."

"As long as you don't tell me to turn around when we're in Nebraska or something like that, it's all right," he said jokingly.

"You know I won't."

On the way they listened and sang along to the cassettes he had, and she brought her own too, so they wouldn't always be alone listening to his.

It was around lunchtime and Eddie had already been driving for a couple of hours, so they stopped to rest and eat.

"Wait, I have to put sunscreen on again," she said before getting back in the car. She had just finished talking to her mother on the phone. She had little to say to her, evidently.

"Really? That's a scam, it's not necessary."

"You're telling me you've been driving around shirtless in the sun for hours without sunscreen?"

"Of course I am."

"You're going to burn, you idiot!"

"No way, you exaggerator."

"Put it," she said, offering the bottle of sunscreen.

"No," she said with disgust.

She poured cream into her free hand, moved closer to him and directed her cream-filled hand to his collarbone, rubbing her hand over it, and trying not to look at his tattooed chest or his tablet, making a superhuman effort not to let her eyes wander to those areas of his body. That took him by surprise, but he kept still and quiet, accepting the gesture.

"Dampen down a little," she asked as she rubbed cream back into her hand, looking up, meeting his eyes. "Do you see how necessary this is?" She asked as she creamed his left cheek, inches from each other. "You're already red."

He was sure he wasn't red from the sun, but he shut up.

"Turn around," she asked again, and he again obeyed.

For a second she stared at his back. She thought is was beautiful and couldn't believe she was about to run hee hands over it. She pushed his hair forward with her little finger so as not to get even a little cream in it.

"Don't you want to put your hair in a high ponytail or a bun?" She asked as she ran her hand down his back. "You'd be cooler."

"I look ridiculous."

"I'm sure you wouldn't. Besides, what difference does it make if I see you like that?"

"A lot," he thought, "you're the only person whose opinion really matters to me."

When he noticed she was done, he turned and she offered him the bottle of sunscreen again. His arms, legs and torso remained. It was understandable, she wasn't going to rub it all over him, he was too old to follow and it would be very uncomfortable in many ways, especially touching his torso, although they both wanted to.

When he finished applying the cream, he gave her back the pot and hugged her tightly.

"You idiot, you're going to stain me and you're sweaty! Ugh!" and he laughed wickedly.

"Do you want me to help you lie on your back?" he asked as he let her out of his grip.

She was wearing shorts and a crop top.

"Okay," she said as she turned around. She didn't need to, she could do it on her own, but she wasn't going to refuse help, especially if it was about him touching her.

Eddie put cream on his right hand and directed his hand to her back. He was nervous, more so than he had been before, when she was creaming him. He didn't know how to touch her, but he knew he had to act normal, so he rubbed his hand across the uncovered part of her back with the mission to get the sticky cream off his hand as quickly as possible. He tried not to look too closely at her back, and his fingertips ended up inside her crop top, unintentionally brushing her bra for a second. Then he slid his hand down her right side to remove what little cream he had left, stopping when he brushed against her trousers. She loved the feel of his hand right then, in that place, like that, even though it probably wasn't a big deal and she was making a movie in her head. Then he pushed her hair forward and decided to rub cream on her neck, massaging it lightly.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome."

He got into the car, in the passenger seat, where she was before, and she quickly rubbed cream on her belly and legs, then sat in the driver's seat, where Eddie was before.

"Turn around and face the window," she said.

"For what?"

"You listen to me, okay?"

"Well... Okay."

She took off the extra hair tie she wore on her wrist as a spare in case she lost the one she was wearing and grabbed Eddie's hair, doing him a bun.

"Tell me, are you cooler right now?"

"Yes, but I'm sure I look ridiculous."

"You look gorgeous, as always," she said matter-of-factly, as she settled everything in the car so she could start driving.

After a few more hours they stopped again to stretch their legs and change drivers, had dinner at a fast food place and finally ended up at a motel, almost on the outskirts of the state.

When they entered the room they saw that there was only one bed.

"I'll go and ask for a room with two beds," he said, turning away.

"Eddie, it's night, and you're exhausted," she stopped him, taking him by the arm. "Come in, come on," she said, nodding her head.

"You don't care?" he asked, referring to sharing a double bed.

"I don't give a shit," she was even excited, but of course she wasn't going to say that, and she couldn't know that he did too, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable in any way, so that's why he offered asking for a room with two beds.

They arranged their things and the first thing they wanted to do was to take a shower, they were exhausted, sweaty and sticky from the sun cream.

"I'll shower first," they both said at the same time, standing in the middle of the small room after sorting their luggage and taking things out. "...You first," they both said again at the same time, and laughed at the synchronicity and telepathy they sometimes had.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" she asked.

"Come on," he said, leaning closer to her.

They both kept their dominant hands behind their backs and recited the chant of the game at the same time.

"...and... three!" They both pulled their hands behind their backs at the same time, making their hands and fingers make the shape of the object they had chosen in their minds. She drew paper and he drew scissors, but as soon as he saw that she was losing the game, he turned his hand from scissors to stone, and then put his arm around her shoulders, making her walk towards the bathroom.

"You win, you first," he said.

"Dude!" she said, annoyed but laughing.

"Shhh."

"Well okay, but at least let me get some panties and my pajamas, or do you want me to come out of the bathroom naked?"

"All right, all right," he said letting go of her and raising his arms in the air as if he was being mugged.

She grabbed her clothes and stepped into the shower. Meanwhile, he pulled on his pajamas (aka boxer shorts), turned on the TV that was there, looked for MTV and sat on the edge of the bed to watch it. He wanted to lie down on the bed, but he didn't want to stink up the bed with the stench of his sweat or stain it.

When she came out of the bathroom her hair was wet, she was wearing only panties and a baggy T-shirt, and clearly no bra.

"Your turn," she said as she made her way to the bed to lie down on the left side of it.

He got up from the edge of the bed and went into the bathroom, which was full of steam.

"Did you take a hot shower, you crazy woman?" he asked before closing the door to get undressed and get into the shower.

"Yes," she replied as if it was the most normal thing in the world for the month they were in.

"It's the middle of August."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she asked, holding back her laughter, and then he, still surprised, closed the door.

She flicked through the television herself, but ended up back on MTV, then picked up the phone on the bedside table and called her mother again to let her know where they were and that they were okay.

He came out of the bathroom shortly after, wearing only short but baggy black boxer shorts and still with drops of cold water sliding off him, mostly running down his tattooed chest and back from his wet hair.

"Anything interesting on TV?" he asked as he lay down next to her on the bed.

"No, but we should turn it off now anyway," she said, referring to the fact that they had to get up early the next morning to continue driving.

"Yeah," he said, getting out of bed.

He went to turn off the television and the light, then turned on the ceiling fan and opened the window, then took off all his jewellery and watch, and finally lay back down on the bed with her, on her side, resting her head on his right arm. She moved into the same position facing him, and he could see her silhouette perfectly thanks to the little light coming in from outside the motel. Her T-shirt rode up slightly, revealing her belly.

She moved closer and snuggled up to him, which he gladly accepted and wrapped his free, left arm around her.

"I still can't process all of this, if you told me about this when we became friends..." she said as she looked at her friend's tattooed chest.

"Yeah, I wouldn't believe it either," he said, stroking her arm with his thumb.

It was the 27th of July last year, in the morning. She drove to her nearest record shop before they opened first thing in the morning. There was a queue of metalheads waiting in line outside the door, and she assumed they were there for exactly the same thing she was: to buy Metallica's new album, Ride the Lighting. Last year, having just released their first album, Kill 'em all, she had fallen completely in love with them and their style of music, and couldn't miss out on having the new album the instant it was released. She walked past all the metalheads standing there, until someone called out to her, catching her attention.

"_______!"

There he was, standing like the others, impatiently waiting for the shop to open to get his record.

They both knew each other from high school, despite not being in the same year or classes, and not being from popular groups, they understood and respected each other.

"Are you coming to get the new Metallica album?" he asked.

"Yes," and a big smile broke out on Eddie's lips as he gestured for her to come with him, standing next to him in the queue. "Thank you," she said for being a sneak. The person behind him pouted but fortunately didn't protest.

"I didn't know you liked Metallica, let alone knew them," he said, smiling. It was always a pleasure to meet people with the same musical tastes, especially when your tastes were considered strange and living in a small town.

"I can't say the same," she said smiling sideways, "it's pretty obvious looking at you that you do know them and many more rock and metal bands."

During the little while they waited in line they talked about how they met Metallica, their favourite songs from Kill 'em all, their favourite band members and asked each other if they liked other bands.

They went inside and went straight to get their copies of Ride the Lighting to take home.

"I'd love to listen to it together," he said as they left the shop after paying for the records, "and know each other's opinion of the songs instantly."

"Yeah," she said as they walked to the car park.

"I'd invite you to my place, but since my uncle works nights he sleeps in the mornings, and I'm going to have to listen to it," he said, referring to the record, "with my headphones on..."

"It's all right," she said. She could invite him to her house, since her mother was working and she had the whole house to herself, but she had just met him formally, she wasn't going to just invite him to her house. "I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"As soon as we get home we'll listen to it and when we're done we'll call each other to talk about it, what do you think?"

"That's fine with me."

They exchanged phone numbers and got into their cars and headed home to listen to the album for the first time.

Two minutes after she finished listening to the album, the phone rang. She knew it was him.

"What do you think?" he asked expectantly.

"I'm in shock, man."

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"What do you think? Let's see."

"Good? Because come on, I loved it."

"Me too! Although I didn't like all the songs," she said with a wince as she ran her finger along the phone's curly cord.

"No? Really?!"

"Yes."

"Which ones didn't you like?"

"Fade to Black and The call of Ktulu or whatever the fuck it's called," she could hear a small chuckle on the other line.

"I don't think they're bad."

"No no, I'm not saying that, it's just that they're not my style, I need a lot more rhythm, apart from the fact that they're too long."

"Yeah, it's understandable. I do like them but they're not my favourites either."

"And which ones are?"

"I couldn't tell you, they're all very good..." he was thoughtful for a few seconds. "Maybe... My favourite is Creeping Death. The riff, the lyrics, James's voice... It's tremendous."

"I loved that one too! And For Whom the Bell Tolls. Ride the lighting too but not as much as those two. I need to listen to them on loop for hours, I swear, I loved them."

Who knew in that moment that that album would quickly become a gold album and that just over a year later they would hear them live with him on the other side of the country?

The next few days of the trip were pretty much the same as that day: driving for hours, changing drivers, putting on sun cream, stopping to eat and go to the toilet, calling her mother and his uncle, filling up with petrol, listening to their cassettes at full volume and singing loudly in the caravan, smoking tobacco, laughing, talking about silly things, taking pictures with the camera of _______, and taking showers and sleeping in motels.

It was Thursday night, and they were already in downtown Nevada, resting in the motel where they stayed that night. They were also in a room with only one bed, a double bed, but they didn't mind.

"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight, I can't believe we'll be in Oakland by tomorrow. I could just keep driving right now," he said as they huddled together, and knowing him as well as she did, she knew it was true.

"Yeah, me too," she said, smiling as much as he was.

"I'm so glad you're my friend, I wouldn't be having this magical experience without you... I love you so much," he said smiling sweetly.

He really wanted to say so much more, he wanted to tell her how much he loved her, that she made him crazier than he already was, that he wanted to hold her tight and never let go, to kiss her and take care of her, but... He had to keep quiet. They had a precious friendship and if he confessed and she didn't reciprocate, which he assumed was most likely, it would probably make things very awkward between them and if he confessed during the trip, they wouldn't be able to run away from each other, having to share a car and rooms for days. It would be the worst-case scenario.

She assumed that he meant that he loved her very much as a person and as a friend, and nothing more. And he did mean that he loved her in those ways, but he also meant that he secretly loved her as a partner.

"I love you too," she said, smiling in the same way.

They stood for a few seconds looking into each other's eyes in silence, and for microseconds at times their eyes would wander to each other's lips.

Maybe it was the emotions running high, maybe it was the tiredness, maybe it was the night, maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the way they were cuddled up in that marriage bed, maybe it was that she was sick of hiding her feelings, maybe it was that she was too brave when she liked someone, maybe it was Eddie's words and that she wanted to have even a little faith that she could have more than friendship with him, or maybe it was all of the above at once, but she decided to bring her face close to his, ridiculously slowly for fear of screwing up.

He noticed and almost had a heart attack. He didn't know what was going through his best friend's mind, he didn't know how she felt about him, but according to him, it looked like she was getting close to his face to kiss him, which if it was true, he had to take advantage of the opportunity, so he decided to do the same as her: get close to her face in a ridiculously slow way.

But then they were stopped by noises from the people in the next room, and they weren't just any noises; they were noises of bed springs and moaning, especially from a woman.

They both stopped dead in their tracks, frozen in their tracks, staring at each other with wide eyes and trying not to piss themselves laughing.

"This is ridiculous, I swear," she whispered as she moved slightly away from him and lay on her back, "I can't believe it," she said, pillowing her ears, to no listen the moans.

"Why are you whispering? You aren't the one who should be quiet. Do you want me to knock on the wall?" he asked as he raised his left arm and put his hand on the wall.

"No, let them have a good time," she said, her pillow no longer acting as a hoof against the noise. "Besides, if you hit the wall, you'll break her," she said as he lay on his back like her.

"We're not going to sleep tonight, but not for what we thought."

"It probably won't be long before they're done."

"They'd better."

And there they were, lying on their backs staring at the ceiling, taking in what had just happened, or rather what might have happened... if it hadn't been for the two shamelessly scandalous people who were fucking like rutting animals in the next room. They were uncomfortable in many ways, although they had to admit that the situation was funny at the same time.

The next evening they were in Oakland. They went to dinner and to stretch their legs a bit, seeing a bit of the city, and then to rest at the hotel where they would sleep.

"There are a lot of good looking guys around here," she said as they walked back to the hotel, noticing that there were a lot of metalheads around town, and she assumed that many of them might be like them: not from there, not living there, but had travelled there to attend the festival. "Something tells me they're here for the same reason we are."

He didn't say anything, he knew perfectly well that his best friend was crazy about long-haired men because she said so on several occasions, but still, he didn't think he had a chance with her even if he had long hair.

They still couldn't believe that they were already there and that the next day after lunch they would be at the stadium enjoying themselves like crazy.

The next morning they decided to take the car and go sightseeing in San Francisco, passing over the Bay Bridge of course. They were aware that with how big the city was and how little time they had before they had to be ready to go to the stadium in Oakland they wouldn't be able to see much, but they weren't there for sightseeing and seeing how different it was to Hawkins was enough for them.

The concert started at two in the afternoon.

She insisted that they had better be there as soon as possible to get parking in the stadium car park and to queue as soon as possible, so they drove back to their hotel in Oakland to get their tickets and then to the stadium. They were both wearing Metallica T-shirts.

Fortunately Eddie bought the tickets a few days after the event was announced, so they had tickets to be on the field and not in the stands, which was too boring and far away from the stage. As soon as the gates to the field opened, they and everyone else ran as if they were being chased with a chainsaw to get to the front row, in front of the stage.

"Do you see how I was right to come early?" she asked. They were almost in the front row.

"Yeah, yeah."

"I saw on TV once that this kind of thing happened at concerts in stadiums, at a Michael Jackson concert."

The first band to play was Victory, then Rising Force, then Metallica. At last the moment they had been waiting for the most, the moment they had travelled thousands of miles from their hometown on the other side of their big country had finally arrived.

_______ started screaming with excitement, jumping of joy and grabbing Eddie's arm, almost cutting off his circulation and digging her nails in when she heard The Ecstasy of Gold, a song by Ennio Morricone from the soundtrack for the film The Good, the Bad and the Ugly that they always played at the beginning of their concerts two years ago as they went on stage and prepared to play.

"Are you all right?" he asked, laughing.

"AAAAAAH!" she said, waving his arm.

"I agree," he laughed, "Ride on my back," he said, bending down.

"Oh," she thought the suggestion was a good idea, but she felt bad for him, because he would have to carry her weight for all or most of their performance and he wouldn't be able to enjoy doing headbangs, or pogos, or even raising his hands in the metalhead's signature horns symbol. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he said, "ride."

"Okay, thank you very much, really."

"You don't have to give them," he said as she mounted his back and grabbed it.

She had her favourite band member, Cliff Burton, practically a few feet away from her. She felt like if she reached out and lifted her arm she could touch him, even though he was actually about 20m away.

They started playing one of their favourite songs: Creeping Death.

She wasn't the only one going crazy with excitement and singing her lungs out for the song, there were many more people in the audience full of excitement to see the band playing live, and she was happy for them. They were a very good band, and it was one of the first times, if not the first, that they had played in a stadium in front of so many people.

"DIE! BY MY HAND, I CREEP ACROSS THE LAND, KILLING FIRST-BORN MAN! DIE! BY MY HAND, I CREEP ACROSS THE LAND, KILLING FIRST-BORN MAN, DIEEEEEE!"

Eddie looked up and saw her singing loudly with a smile from ear to ear that didn't fit on her face. He had never seen her so happy, and his smile grew bigger. Then he turned his attention back to the group in front of him.

"OH YEAH?" shouted James Hetsfield, the band's vocalist and rhythm guitarist, into the microphone, and then he tilted his head towards the audience and put his hand to his ear, as if trying to sharpen his hearing. He was clearly playing with the audience.

"OH YEAH!" they shouted, and many more.

"OH YEAH?" James shouted again, doing the same as before.

"OH YEAH!" they shouted again.

"FUCKING RIDE THE LIGHTIIIIING!" shouted James into the microphone, and he and the rest of the band started playing that song. "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! ARE YOU FUCKING OUT THERE?" he shouted raising his hand, encouraging the audience to be loud when they were already halfway through the song. "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!" he shouted in the same way almost at the end of the song, "I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU!" he shouted as he put his hand to his ear. "HEY!"

Then he walked away from the microphone and stood next to Cliff. They were both doing headbangs and were perfectly in sync without even trying. Meanwhile, Kirk Hammett, the band's lead guitarist, on the other side of the stage was going more his own way.

When the song was over James walked over to the foot of the drum kit, where Lars Ulrich was standing, and picked up a small bottle of beer, probably fresh and alcoholic, and walked back to his microphone.

"ROCK AND ROOOOOLL!" shouted Eddie, and she laughed and shouted back.

"ARE YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?" asked James, and everyone shouted, "We've come here to kick some assess! [ . . . ] You know Cliff Burton over there?" He asked the crowd, pointing to his bandmate, the bass player. "Everyone, "Hey Cliff, how ya doing?"" he said waving his hand in greeting.

"HI CLIFF!" she and a few others shouted.

James stepped away from the microphone as he took a sip from the bottle of beer he had just picked up next to the drum kit, and Cliff began to play a bass solo while doing a light headbang, his head bent low and focused on the strings of his black bass while his hair moved incessantly, as did his fingers.

The best words to describe that bass solo were "Epic", "Legendary", "Magical", "Iconic", "Mind-blowing"... And it sounded like he was playing thunder instead of an instrument. ______'s eyes and mouth opened slightly without her noticing, and the hair on her body stood on end. Absolutely everyone was shocked, including Lars, who forgot to start playing the drums, and Cliff himself had to turn around and tell him he had to start playing. As soon as Lars started playing the drums, Cliff came back and played another epic bass solo.

She would recognise that rhythm anywhere, in any situation. It was For whom the bell tolls, and it was a song entirely written by Cliff. The smile on his face throughout the whole show, but especially during that song, was priceless. He kept doing headbangs, moving around the stage, gesticulating with his hands and singing to himself. You could tell he was excited to play that bass solo and his song in front of so many people enjoying it.

Then they started playing The Four Horsemen, a song from their first album, and it seemed that she wasn't the only one who was running out of voice, because she noticed James' voice faltering a bit.

The song was followed by Fade to Black, despite a boy in the audience shouting out Whiplash as a suggestion.

"Thank you! That was Fade to Black, from the album Ride the Lighting...! ...ARE WE GOING TO FUCK UP TODAY OR WHAT?" The crowd screamed in response, and he threw the pick at a person in the audience. "Good catch! ...WANT DESTRUCTION?" the audience shouted back in response. "By the way, this one goes... There's no other way, on the Kill 'em all album. We want to hear you scream! This song is called... SEEK & DESTROY!" The crowd screamed again for the third time, and more than the previous times. "I can't fucking hear you," said James pretending to be disappointed as the crowd sang the chorus. That was the song where the crowd was the loudest.

And last but not least, and finally for the fan in the audience who kept shouting it: Whiplash.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH!" said James as the song ended, "THANK YOU!

The crowd started screaming "Metallica!" non-stop, and seeing that they wanted more of them and that Y&T weren't ready to go on stage yet, they were allowed to play more songs. They chose to play half of Diamond Head's Am I Evil? and Motorbreath.

"Good day, whatever!" said James, waving goodbye to the audience. "Cheers! Thank you very much!"

As they left the stage, Eddie crouched down and she got off his shoulders.

"Well, we can go now," she said jokingly. "Thank you very much. I'll give you a massage later."

"Don't worry about it."

"That was amazing, my God!" she said as they walked out of the stadium after all the performances were over.

"I told you you had to come!" he said. "Thank goodness I convinced you into it."

"But can we talk about Metallica's performance? Oh my God, it's still not sinking in!"

"Cliff's bass solo in the intro of For whom the bell tolls made the hair on the back of my neck stand up," he confessed.

"Me too, man! And his smile throughout the whole song?! I love him, he's a genius and super adorable, I could tell he was living it up."

It took them a while to get out of the car parking and around the stadium as it was packed. Being from Hawkins, they had never seen so many cars together and so much traffic.

"Where do you want to go now?" he asked as he drove. It was still daylight, but it was late afternoon. "Are you hungry? Shall we go to dinner?"

"I'm not hungry yet, are you?"

"Neither am I."

"Not as hungry as the concert, but I can't wait to go to the beach and see the ocean. I'd like to see the sunset there."

"Then there we go."

They crossed back over the bay bridge and missed directions to the locals, peering out of the caravan windows. They were told that the best beach to enjoy the view, including the Golden Gate Bridge, was Baker Beach, so that's where they went.

They arrived at just the right time, at sunset. They took off their shoes and for the first time felt the sand under their feet and between their toes. The ocean breeze made their manes and their wide shirts move as the wind wanted them to, and for the first time they smelled the salty water. The eyes of _______ were fixed on the sun hiding behind the Pacific Ocean.

She decided to take her camera out of her bag and take a picture. Meanwhile, Eddie was looking at her. He thought she was prettier than the sunset. When she finished taking the picture, she put the camera back in her bag, put it on the ground and looked at the sunset again for a second, then looked at Eddie.

"This is the best day of my life," she said, teary-eyed but smiling.

"Hey hey hey," he said worriedly, "why are you crying?"

"I'm crying from happiness," she said as she smiled at her friend's concern and ran her fingers across her eyes to wipe away the tears, "it's a good thing."

Eddie put his arms around her and kissed her head repeatedly. She was too adorable, she could handle him. He loved her madly.

"It's the best day of my life, too," he said when they broke apart, and he placed one of his hands on her cheek, rubbing his thumb gently to wipe away the trace of the silent tear that had fallen down her face seconds before.

They both couldn't wait to tell the other that they loved each other, that they loved each other madly and not just as best friends, to kiss... But the fear of rejection and ruining the moment, the day, the trip and their friendship outweighed those desires.

"We haven't tasted water yet, how is that possible?" he said, grabbing her by the shoulders, trying to make her laugh and trying to distract himself from the impulse he had felt to confess and kiss her at that moment. "Come on!" he said, taking her by the hand and making her walk towards the shore, leaving her slippers, socks and bag behind.

"It's warm," she said, slightly surprised with her feet in the water.

"It must be because it's been in the sun all day. How about a swim? It's perfe-"

"Ugh, something touched my foot!" She said in disgust, lifting her foot and moving towards him.

"It's seaweed."

"I'm not taking a bath," she said, still disgusted.

"Because of the seaweed?" he asked, raising one of his eyebrows and smiling mockingly.

"It's too disgusting... For that I prefer swimming pools or bathtubs."

"It's just a plant, but a sea plant," he said, bending down and picking it up. He stretched out his arm to pull her closer but she pulled back as if he was holding a cockroach, and seeing how her body and face reacted, he couldn't help but laugh as he let go the plant. "Look, there's a very clean area over there," he said pointing with his head as he approached her, and while she was distracted for a second looking at the area he had pointed out to her, he bent down and grabbed her behind her knees and her waist, like a prince carrying his princess in a fairy tale that mothers told their daughters in bed before they went to sleep at night.

"What-" She didn't mind him grabbing her like that, in fact, she obviously liked it if it was him, but she stopped liking it when she saw Eddie start to go into the sea, into an area with too much seaweed for her liking. "Eddie, no! Don't even think about it!" and he laughed a wicked laugh, like when he saw his fellow Hellfire Club members in distress in a Dungeons and Dragons battle.

"Don't be a pussy!"

"Eddie I'm literally a pussy!" she said refering to her vagina.

"Not everything could be perfect this day, baby!"

"Eddie, if you drop me there, your uncle will never hear from you again! And I'm wearing clothes, not a bikini!"

"So what? The clothes are drying."

"Not in this air and it's getting dark, and I don't have a towel."

"Weeeell," he said, turning around while smiling and setting her down on the shore, on the sand.

They walked back to where they had left their things and she sat down on the sand. He decided to sit behind her, wrapping his legs and arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"You're stupid," she said, annoyed but smiling at the same time.

"And you love me for it," he said, poking her lightly in the side with the tip of his index finger.

"Yes..." He sighed deeply, "very much, as you have no idea, much to my disgrace," she thought.

It was getting colder and colder, so they decided to go somewhere for dinner and then to the hotel to rest, trying to catch up on sleep while they were snuggled up to each other, as they were used to.

The next morning Eddie woke up with a horrible neck ache from doing so many headbangs and some back pain from holding _______ during Metallica's performance, so before leaving the hotel she lay on top of him on the bed and gave him the best neck, shoulder and back massage she could. She was smart and knowing how much her neck would hurt the next day and how fragile it was, she decided not to do headbangs.

Then they headed for Los Angeles and by lunchtime they were there, on Venice Beach with a few litres of alcoholic beer they had bought, and now they had their swimming costumes and towels on (and sunscreen, of course).

"We had rock and roll..." he said, referring to the festival, "we've had 'drugs', if we can consider them drugs...", he said, throwing his hands up in the air, one with a bottle of beer and a freshly lit cigarette in the other. She had forbidden him to bring weed for fear of being caught in a checkpoint. "The sex is the only thing missing."

"I don't feel like fucking any guy here," she said, "they all look like Barbie's boyfriend."

"And they all look like Barbies here," he said half-heartedly, to her surprise.

"But Barbies are pretty."

"Have you seen the sculptures of the ancient Romans? They're made of rock, they're quality and there are few of them. On the other hand, there are a lot of plastic ones, of poor quality and copies of each other. I prefer a woman made of rock."

"How do you know that, Shakespeare?" She asked with a mocking smile. "I thought you were bad at history."

"Yes, but not at art."

"Anyway, even if we wanted to fuck with someone here, I don't think they'd want to fuck with us."

"Speak for me, but not for you. You're beautiful."

"I'm not that much."

"Said the one who always has several guys behind her."

"But they're not Kens because I'm not a Barbie, I'm not popular."

"You are popular among the "weirdos" at school, and you know it, don't tell me you're not."

"Well, I didn't say I was ugly, I admit it, but..."

"You're beautiful. End of discussion."

"Well, all right, if you say so..." She looked away, holding her smile and blushing a little, "Thanks, I guess. You too," she looked back at him.

"Oh, you think I'm a pretty girl, too!" He said in a squeaky voice and put his hand to his chest, pretending to be surprised. "Thank you very much! Aren't you roasting? Shall we go in the water? Or are you still terrified of seaweed?"

"Mm..." Yes, actually yes, she was too disgusted by that.

"At least come and soak your feet, right?" he asked as he stubbed out his cigarette in the sand and got up.

"Well, okay," she said, doing the same as she made a bun with one of the hair ties around her wrists.

"The tide brings the seaweed to the shore," he said, pointing to it as the two of them stood there soaking their feet, "but look, it's all clear up ahead. You only have to go the first few yards. I can carry you and get you there without you touching any seaweed."

"Uh..."

The beach was full of people and she was embarrassed to be seen being carried, as if she didn't have the legs to walk and go into the water on her own. It would be more embarrassing if they found out how disgusting the seaweed made her feel, but it was not her fault that she found it disgusting, especially as an inland girl who could only swim in clean pools. But then she thought that she shouldn't give a shit what strangers thought of her and that she didn't want to miss the experience of swimming in the Pacific Ocean with her best friend after an epic and unforgettable trip, so she accepted the proposal.

"Well, okay," he thought he was going to carry her like he had carried her at the festival the day before, but he carried her like he had carried her on the beach in San Francisco, like a princess. That was a little more embarrassing than being carried like a little girl on hia back. "How are you not disgusted by stepping on them?" she asked, disgusted, referring to the seaweed as he began to walk deeper into the ocean.

"They're just plants," he laughed, "you act like they're cockroaches."

"But their touch is disgusting."

"I don't think it's that bad."

"Well, lucky you."

"You know there are people who eat them?"

"Good for them," she said indifferently, and he laughed again at her answer. "Oh, it's freezing!" she said, referring to the water when he was already deeper in, the water coming up to his waist, and she was wetting her butt.

"It's not that bad! Besides, what did you expect? Don't be a pussy!"

And when he finally reached the area without seaweed, he suddenly let her go, making her scream at such an abrupt change of temperature. She, annoyed, splashed him with her arm. He laughed.

"It would have been worse little by little, if you do it all at once it's less bad," yes, he was one of those who jumped in the pool, "or did you want me to baptise you?" He closed his eyes, shut his mouth, covered his nose with his hand and bent down, putting his head completely in the water. When he pulled it out, he shook her hair like a shampoo advert and splashed her a little.

They stayed on the beach most of the day, until it got dark and they went to the hotel where they would be staying that night.

On Monday morning, 2 September, they would start the journey home, back to Hawkins. It was a bit depressing, as they didn't want the trip to end, they had had too much fun, and on top of that they didn't feel like going back to school, especially as they had to repeat their last year.

It was the second time that Eddie had repeated his last year and the whole group of friends from ______ had graduated and left town, but at least they would be in the same class together.

The last night they spent together they were sad for that very reason, because it was going to be the last night they would sleep together. And the last morning they spent together Eddie woke up before she did, so knowing how little his best friend wanted to go back and start her last term again, he decided to wake her up by tickling her, making her squirm in bed, crying with laughter and screaming for him to stop.

They returned to Hawkins on Saturday evening. Eddie helped get their luggage out of his van and into their house, and her mother offered to stay for dinner with them, so she could listen to the stories of the trip told by the two of them. Knowing that his uncle would not be home when he arrived because of his work schedule, and knowing that his best friend's mother's food was better than anything edible in his house, he gladly accepted the invitation.

"The beaches were amazing. The one I liked best was the one in San Francisco, because of the view of the Golden Gate," she told her mother when the three of them were at the dinner table.

"But she was afraid to go in the water because she was disgusted by the seaweed," said Eddie, "and the next day in Los Angeles I had to carry her like a Disney princess to get her into the water without being brushed by any of the seaweed."

"I wasn't afraid, you exaggerator!" she said in her defence, "just disgusted."

And then it was time to say goodbye. They both felt it would be a long time before they would see each other again, but in reality they would see each other in two days, on Monday morning at the school.

"I had a great time," she said in front of him, holding his hands, looking at him and smiling wistfully beside his van, parked in front of her house, "thank you for convincing me to come, thank you for everything."

"Thank you for coming," he said, looking at her and smiling in the same way, squeezing her hands and then letting go to give her a long, tight hug. "I'll see you Monday at school, okay?" he said as they parted.

"Unfortunately," she didn't even have a spark of desire to go back there, who would? Only popular people or people who find it easy to study or the poor bastards whose validation depends on having high numbers on papers after spewing out useless data for everyday life. "Goodbye," she said as she began to walk backwards, waving her hand as a final goodbye, and then she turned around. He stood there, watching her walk away from him and through the door of her house, making the last direct eye contact with her eyes quickly before she closed the door behind her.

As much as she was looking forward to seeing her mother and being in the comfort of her home, and especially in the comfort of her room and bed, she felt that she had missed something of utmost importance along the way, that she was missing something important: it was him, and the post-concert, post-trip depression. The same thing happened to him, and on top of that his uncle wasn't at home to greet him when he arrived from dropping off ______ at her house, but he knew that was a likely thing. He would see him on Sunday at noon, as he had a night shift, and in the morning he slept.

Their beds were supposed to be their greatest source of comfort, especially after almost two weeks of travelling around the country, from motel to hotel and back again. So why couldn't they sleep? They were not stupid, they were aware of their feelings, but they didn't think it would affect them so much. They missed each other, they wanted each other to be there beside them, lying down and cuddling. He tried to hug his pillow but it wasn't the same. She wanted to hug a crappy stuffed animal he gave her off the arcade hook a year ago but it was too small to be cuddled.

Eddie could have perfectly well drugged himself to calm down and fall asleep as soon as possible, but instead he decided to do something even more stupid: get out of bed, leave the house, get in the van and drive to his best friend's house. Hopefully she was still awake, hopefully they could sleep together that night, hopefully he wouldn't make a fool of himself in front of her for having such a need like a little kid.

"Shit," he thought as he got out of the van, which he had parked in front of the house. He didn't see any light inside, everything indicated that mother and daughter had already gone to bed in their respective rooms.

But then he thought that just because she was in bed didn't mean she was already asleep. She decided to go to the side of the house and stand under her bedroom window. He bent down to the floor in search of pebbles to throw at the window to get her attention in a quiet way, without waking her mother or her neighbours.

He threw a pebble at her window, calculating his aim with his mind and throwing it hard enough so that it would reach the window but not break the glass even a little bit. It didn't rattle against the glass because there was no glass, the window was open because of the heat, but he thought that wasn't a problem, and maybe it was more effective for the pebble to go inside her room.

As it happened, the pebble ended up inside her room, bouncing on the floor, making noise, but he didn't know that for sure, he didn't know if that had woken her up if she was sleeping or if it had caught her attention enough to make her get out of bed and look out the window to see what was going on, so he decided to throw another pebble, and just as he was about to throw it, she looked out of the window.

"Eddie?" she asked in a whisper, surprised and confused. "What is it? What are you doing here?" He dropped the pebbles and took a few steps forward. It was the moment he was waiting for, what he had planned and wanted was happening, but he opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out of him. He didn't know what to say, because there was really a lot he wanted to express. "Do you want me to come down?" she asked, and he nodded his head quickly, but it was dark and she couldn't see it very well, so she decided to ask. "Yes?"

"Yes," he answered, "please."

"I'll be right there, wait a second," she said, who had to put on a pair of trousers because she was in her panties, go downstairs and get her keys.

"No hurry," he said as he moved away from the window. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. The longer it took her to come down, the more time he would have to calm down. He was restless, more than usual. He never used to get this nervous before playing in front of people from the school.

He heard the door of the house open and close and she approached him with the keys in the pocket of the shorts she had just put on. Crickets could also be heard not far away, and the leaves of the trees rustling in the thin breeze.

"What's the matter?" She said, approaching him with concern. "Has something happened?"

"No, no, it's all right," she saw how nervous and uneasy he was and knew he was lying, but she took his hands to calm him in every way. He gladly agreed, and he did calm down somewhat.

"So?" she asked, even more puzzled.

"Well... You see... I know it's stupid, but... Well, you know me, don't you? I'm like that, I can't help it..." There was a brief silence in which he didn't know what to say, or rather how to say it, trying to find the words in his mind while she looked at him and waited for whatever he was going to say. She didn't really know what to expect from him, and the situation was strange. "I couldn't sleep and I think it's because I'm missing you by my side," he laughed nervously again. She smiled and tightened her grip.

"The same thing was happening to me."

"Really?" he asked in surprise.

"Really."

"So...? Are we sleeping together tonight?"

"Please and thank you. At your place?"

"Okay."

"I'll come in for a moment to write a note to my mother for when she wakes up tomorrow and doesn't see me at home," he said, holding up her hand, pointing to her house with her thumb behind it, "okay?"

"Sure."

After what she said and did, they rode in his van to Eddie's house in absolute silence, no music, no talking. They didn't need to, and they didn't have anything to talk about since they hadn't seen each other for only two hours. The silence was not uncomfortable, they wore smiles on their lips and their hair swayed in the breeze coming through the lowered windows.

"If your uncle sees me and finds out that we slept in the same bed, he'll think badly," she said as she climbed into his bed and snuggled against him.

"Let him think what he wants, I don't care," he said as she settled her head on his arm, "he'd be happy and everything. Your mother is not the only one who matches us," which was true. Some people in town, especially in high school, just assumed the two of them were a couple.

"Yeah."

He started stroking her head, or rather her hair, with the hand on the arm she was using as a pillow. The other was on her back. They were pressed against each other. He had his neck in front of her face, and his tattooed chest exposed. They both felt at last at peace, completely calm and ready to sleep if they wanted to, but they didn't want to, they wanted to enjoy this moment of being conscious.

"You could have fallen asleep smoking weed but you didn't, why?"

"You're my favourite drug," he dared to say. The night made everyone feel vulnerable and sensitive, and he was no exception. Maybe he shouldn't listen to the things that went through his mind at night, but there were times when he couldn't help it, and that was one of those times.

That phrase and him going to her home to tell hee that he needed to sleep with her definitely had to mean something, something good and important, but she couldn't assume that either if it didn't come out of his mouth in a more explicit way. She didn't want to get her hopes up, make an Oscar-worthy movie in her head, and then get the shock and the downer.

Luckily for her, Eddie spoke without her asking any questions.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you..."

"What's that?"

"The problem is... I'm afraid to tell you."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, Eddie. I love you madly and I'm going to be there for you no matter what."

"I don't know how to express it either..."

"So, if you can't put it into words.... Express it with an action," she said, believing where he was going.

Emboldened by his best friend's words and the late hours of the night, he decided to move the hand on her back to her cheek. With his thumb he brushed her lips to find out exactly where they were, for they were in their room in complete darkness, unable to see each other even if they were inches away from each other. Then he raised her head slightly and bowed his head, and at last did what he had wanted to do for more than half a year: he kissed her, confessing at last his deep feelings for her. She quickly returned the kiss, while a big smile formed on her lips.

"So... Is that what you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes, for a long time," he said, leaning his forehead against hers.

"How long?"

"More than half a year ago."

"Well, it seems we're in sync even for that."

"Do you feel the same way I do?" He asked, surprised and confused but happy at the same time.

"How do you feel about me Eddie? Please tell me, I want to hear it come out of your mouth," she said, now she was caressing his cheek.

"I love you. You are my Arwen to my Aragorn. When I hear love songs I can't help but think of you. You make me so happy just to be by my side. You are beautiful in every way and I have so much fun with you. You are not only my best friend and the person I love the most after my uncle, you are the woman of my dreams and I think you are my soul mate" with every sentence he said she got more emotional and it was hard for her to hold back the urge to cry with happiness, while he was still not processing that he had just kissed her, that his kiss had been reciprocated and that he was finally telling her out loud what he'd been keeping quiet and so deep inside for so long, "and I can't wait to fucking graduate so I can start working a full time job and save up to get married and live on our own and together in our own house, our own home. ...Although any place is a home if you're there," he suddenly heard a sob and felt a drop fall on his arm, the one that was being her pillow. "_______?" he asked frightened with fear that he had completely screwed up.

"I love you so much," she said crying out of pure happiness, her heart couldn't fit in her chest from all the happiness she was feeling, "you have no idea how happy you make me right now."

"So you're crying from happiness again?"

"I couldn't cry for anything else," and now it was she who jumped up and kissed him. Then he hugged her tightly.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"You didn't even have to ask."

"I wanted to ask you, I've wanted that for a long time and to hear a yes for an answer from you," she smiled even more, almost laughing at what he had just said.

"Yes, silly, I do."

"Now I'm completely yours, more yours than ever, more than I've ever been."

"I'll say the same."

They kissed again, and then he moved his free hand to her pillowy arm, and took off one of the three rings he wore. He took off the skull-shaped one and handed it to her, leaving it on her hand. She could tell which ring it was by touch.

"I want you to have it from now on, as a token of my love and our relationship."

"Thank you," she said, putting it on her thumb, as it was too big on the rest of her fingers.

Little else happened after that, just a few more kisses, caresses and the occasional playful touch but nothing more. They were exhausted from the journey and finally felt at peace, ready to sleep now that they were together physically and romantically.

[hamliet]

what do you think of Cherri bomb and Sir Pentious as a ship?

I love them. I think their arcs offer a great contrast and that they will likely end up together.

I think the key to Cherri's character is in the pre-canon song "Addict."

Yeah, you fell in love But you fell deeper in this pit While death rains from above So count your blessings 'cause this is it You're not letting it go So what if I misbehave It's what everybody craves You already know So come if you're feeling brave And fancy yourself a mate You want it, I got it, see what you like? We could have it all by the end of the night Your money and power, my sinful delight A hit of that heaven and hell, a hell of a high

Cherri's addiction is more than a physical drug--it's to the idea of love, but it's never actually love. She knows this as well, but she plays the part of the desperate lover to get what she can (money and power), because "this is it"--ie, it's the best that she can get.

The way Cherri acts is very much in line with this persona she has. As much as everyone may gasp and express shock over her antics, that's really what they crave (and the parallel to how the real world treats women they pin as hypersexual and tsk at as "messy" is certainly deliberate). They don't want Cherri; they want her image.

That's why Cherri is so unamused by Pentious at first. He's no different from the rest, right?

Well, wrong.

Pentious seems to really be driven by the idea of money and power, but in a neat juxtaposition to Cherri with love, he doesn't actually seem to want these things so much as he likes the idea of them. What Sir Pentious seems to actually want is love--of any sort. See:

He created the Egg Boiz ostensibly to help him in his quest to take control in turf wars, but he loves them and weeps when he's supposed to send them away. He becomes incredibly loyal to Charlie and everyone at the hotel after she forgives him, not remotely holding a grudge against Vaggie or Angel even--to the point where he dies to save them.

His death also emphasizes what he pretends he wants vs. what he actually wants. He tries to do a big heroic sacrifice, but... it does nothing. He's snuffed out before he can even strike. But, what he did was love in action, and he did it because he knew the hotel staff loved him too. Essentially, reailzing he is loved helps him to show love. He shows love not just with a sacrifice, but with a kiss and a farewell confession to Cherri--the first hit he's actually made on her that went over well.

Sir Pentious's idea of love also contrasts with Cherri's in that it's neither founded on sex nor repulsed by it. He doesn't really seem to understand most of Angel's nonstop innuendos. At the same time, he expresses sexual interest in Cherri. When he first proposes that he and Cherri have sex, he fails because he says exactly what Cherri's used to:

Cherri: I'm sorry, why would we have sex? Sir Pentious: ...because I'm having sex with everyone!

In other words, he says Cherri's just another face, an idea, no one special. But in the end, when he kisses her, he says this:

Miss Cherri Bomb, I love you. Remember me!

Thereby acknowledging both Cherri as a person whom he actually loves, and his own desires--in other words, loving and expressing that love to Cherri helps Sir Pentious become more fully himself. This is then further emphasized by his rebirth as an angel in heaven.

[fandomtrash-whataboutit]

My TimKon ‘Would You Fall in Love with Me Again’ Animatic

(If i could make animatics :/)

Notes: The roles of Ody and Pen aren’t perfectly assigned bc Tim’s the one who changed but Kon’s the one who was gone, don’t worry, it’ll make sense.

Kon has returned to his normal time/place/life and has been thoroughly checked for being the real, original, correct universe Kon-El. Now, at last, Tim is able to go see him, and reunite with his lost love.

Is it you? Have my prayers been answered? Is it really you standing there or am I dreaming once more?

Tim says all of this with bated breath, not delivering the wild, enthusiastic welcome Kon had been expecting. Kon can tell something is wrong, as can everyone else in the room (I imagine perhaps Superman and dick and/or bruce)

You look different. Your eyes look tired. Your frame is lighter, your smile torn. Is it really you my love?

Kon can see that Tim looks like hell and he is slowly trying to piece together what has happened (I imagine that last part is met with some surprise, as few is any people outside of yj knew of Tim and Kon’s relationship or at least how serious it was)

I am not the man you fell in love with. I am not the man you once adored. I am not your kind and gentle husband. And I am not the love you knew before Would you fall in love with me again? If you knew all I’ve done. The things I can not change, would you love me all the same?

This section focuses on Tim alone, face shrouded in shadow or just tight and anxious. Perhaps one of those cool animations of the camera moving around the central figure (note that words like husband do not have to be taken literally here, because animatic. There will be a whole section like this later)

I know that you’ve been waiting, waiting for love. …What kind of things did you do?

Kon is starting to process that something went very wrong while he was gone. He is getting scared, steps closer, and makes himself ask because he needs to know Tim is okay.

Left a trail of red on every island, as I traded friends like objects I could use. Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands, but all of that was to bring me back to you.

This part might be one of those sections that writes the lyrics on screen to alter them. The first sentence shows Tim’s time with the LoA (note that I don’t subscribe to the belief that Tim like murdered a bunch of people, even if it’s cool to think about sometimes) and say ‘traded PEOPLE like objects…’ because to be fair it was mostly the LoA and stuff that he was using, he didn’t trade friends’ literal lives the way Ody did. The second part would be a big motif of the most obvious thing, the cloning. A literal shot of just Tim, looking miserable, and in the background all around him half-transparent parts of his lab and experiments. (Still Tim below)

So tell me, would you fall in love with me again? If you knew all I’ve done. The things I can’t undo, I am not the man you knew. I know that you’ve been waiting, waiting…

This part mirrors the first chorus with my fun camera spinning thing but this time focusing on both Tim and Kon standing close to one another, both looking utterly grief stricken.

If that’s true, could you do me a favor? Just a moment of labor that would bring me some peace? See that wedding bed? Could you carry it over? Lift it high on your shoulders and take it far away from here?

This is obviously the least literal part. I imagine the camera goes to Kon for a second to indicate who is ‘speaking’ then shifts to the YJ cave. I haven’t worked out all the kinks for this but I imagine something like maybe a bed because Kon considers it the first real home he had where he was welcomed and wanted by loved ones before Superman and the Kents go involved/got their shit together, something with their initials or the Superboy and Robin symbols carved into it.

How could you say this? I had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat. Carved it into the olive tree where we first met. A symbol of our love everlasting, do you realize what you have asked me? The only way to move it is to cut it from its roots!

This part is a lot, obv. The first sentence, a short of present Tim, horrified. Second sentence shows a quick shot of a younger Tim and Kon, Kon’s eyes lighting up with laser vision for a second only for Tim to stop him and carve it into the whatever (bed, smth) himself. The third sentence not a shot of that specific place but the round table in the cave with Tornado and the whole YJ team. ‘A symbol of your love everlasting’ shows a young Tim and Kon looking smitten, ‘do you realize what your have asked me’ hard cuts back to present Tim, finally showing some energy as he gets terribly angry. (Note: maybe a quick shot of spectators before the last sentence but maybe not). Last sentence shows that shot of young Tim and Kon looking smitten getting torn in half, revealing the shot of the whole team which also gets torn in half.

Only my husband knew that, so I guess that makes him you!

Kon needs to match Tim’s energy here as he finally sees his Rob light up the way he used to be, fiery and free.

Penelope…

Tim frozen in shock, staring at Kon

I will fall in love with you over and over again, I don’t care how, where, or when. No matter how long it’s been, you’re mine! Don’t tell me you’re not the same person, you’re always my husband and I’ve been waiting…

Kon grabs Tim’s shoulders (you know the cliche pose) getting close to him and speaking vehemently. Maybe some shots of them over the years, canon or headcanon moments of when they fell in love. Emphasize Kon’s vehemence on the ‘you’re mine’ cus im a slut for that, and maybe Kon shakes his head on ‘don’t tell me you’re not the same person’

Waiting… Penelope…

Not writing out this whole section cus I’m not copy pasting the lyrics here I’m recording them as I listen. This is a collage of them, colors and moments all around them or snapshots of their past, maybe chronologically and having at least one shot of each of them while Kon was ‘dead’

For you…

As he says this, Kon finally grabs Tim and kisses him. He sweeps him up in a massive hug off the ground as the music peaks, they hold each other desperately close (i mean draw creases on the back of their clothing type shit). I’m also debating, because I dont have much knowledge of canon alternate universities in the comics, if there would be content enough to show alternate versions of them holding each other because they fall in love in every lifetime. As the music calms, Kon gently returns them back to the ground, pulling far enough away to press their forehead together

How long has it been?

Kon asks this, still not entirely sure how long he was gone

Twenty Years

Obv its different, it dont remember the canon time Kon was gone/dead, but ideally it would be shown in month, week, day, hour format bc Tim is normal (for bonus angst do the amount of irl time he was dead cus that was prolly way longer

I love you

Need I even say anything? Holding each other close, they’re both finally smiling

[damned-punk]

I’ve been going through a lot with my self esteem and how I view my body lately. I would love something with Kid enjoying an afab reader who’s plus size. Thank you!

Satisfied (Kidd x Reader)

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆

Content Warning: self esteem issues, suggestive language

Content Description: you’re having complex feelings about yourself and all Kidd wants is for you to see yourself as he sees you ♡

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆

It had been one of those days where everything just felt off. From the feeling of fabric against your figure from outfits that you once loved to the rays of sun shining against your skin, it was all wrong. You wanted to fall away into yourself, to disappear or shrink to some standard that was anything other than what you were now. It made you ponder why your partner would want you when you didn’t even want yourself, it was exhausting. You’d avoided Kidd for nearly the entire day, occupying yourself with random tasks around the ship and engaging with as little of your crewmates as you could manage.

Most of them brushed your behavior off as symptoms of sleep deprivation or simply being too preoccupied in what you were doing to chat, but your close friends knew that you were bothered. Killer could immediately sense that something wasn’t quite right, but he couldn’t place exactly what was up. He hadn’t heard any yelling, crashing, or cursing so he quickly ruled out an argument with the Captain. He was at a loss for what else could possibly be plaguing you. Killer lingered next to you for a while, making himself appear busy while studying your expressions and body language.

“I’m thinking I might make shrimp scampi for dinner tonight, does that sound good (Y/N)?”, he asked nonchalantly, prompting some semblance of a conversation to break your silence.

“I’m good with that, whatever you guys want.”, you replied without looking at him, continuing to straighten up the room.

You took your leave shortly after, Killer was unsatisfied with your answer but it was obvious you weren’t ready to talk. A part of him wanted to pry but he resolved that it might be better to turn to Kidd for answers. He located the Captain, sweaty and leant over a contraption in his workshop, and questioned him on how your morning had went.

“I was up before (Y/N) and by the time I was out of the shower, she was gone.”, Kidd asserted, somewhat perplexed as to what had prompted the question.

“You haven’t seen her after that?”, Killer asked again.

“Alright, what the fuck is going on?”, Kidd retorted, unsure of what Killer was getting at.

“I don’t know, but I think you should go talk to her.”, Killer patted Kidd’s shoulder, “She’s been out of it all day. Not talking to anyone and keeping herself tucked away, something’s up.”

The two men stood and thought for a second. Kidd went through yesterday’s events and even considered that he might’ve missed an important date but neither of them could come up with any feasible reasoning. If you’d gotten into it with a crewmate, they’d surely already know by now. There had been no change in bounties that they were aware of and you hadn’t mentioned wanting or needing anything that they couldn’t provide.

Kidd wiped his face and washed the grease from his hands, it’d gotten warm in his workshop so he’d long since abandoned his shirt. He figured you might like that, a trade of vulnerability or whatever when he cornered you to talk. Killer wanted to supervise, partly to ensure that you were okay but also to prevent Kidd from making things worse. You’d returned to the cabin you shared with Kidd after the short conversation with Killer, cleaning up after Kidd who could sometimes be messy.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror hanging from the bathroom door, the figure in front of you looking unfamiliar. You adjusted your clothes and tried to level with how others may see you, but your thoughts remained unsavory. Spiraling from feeling disconnected to your own body, you considered the possibility that your time with Kidd was limited. What would you become after? Tears brimmed at your waterline, how could you expect Kidd to want to be with you when you couldn’t even want to be with yourself?

The door suddenly swung open and you nearly jumped out of your skin. Kidd eyed you and made his way to the bed, sitting on the corner and patting the space beside him. You hesitantly joined him, purposefully pushing the bathroom door open so that the mirror wouldn’t face the two of you. He put his hand on your knee, gently squeezing and kneading the soft skin.

“What’s up babe?”, Kidd asked, lightly bumping your shoulder with his own.

He was having a hard time concentrating as the shirt you were wearing showcased your breasts, a little too nicely in his humble opinion. You noticed and huffed a laugh at him, maybe this was enough for him. Maybe you were enough for him. Surely he wouldn’t go through the trouble of all this if he were unhappy.

“Seriously, what’s on your mind? You’ve been quiet today.”, he asked again, this time forcing himself to focus.

“Nothing much.”, you replied, averting direct eye contact, “What’ve you been up to today?”

“You in front of that mirror didn’t look like nothing.”, he ignored your question, your content expression faltering, “Your eyes are all watery and shit.”

“I’m fine, Kidd.”, you refuted his concerns, a futile attempt to calm him down.

“Talk to me (Y/N), I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t give a fuck.”, he pressed you further.

You considered your options, weighing the pros and cons of divulging your innermost insecurities to him. You’d always been open with him about things that mattered, but this was a different kind of vulnerability. This was self-hatred, something that you worried he’d view as weakness. This was not something circumstantial that would blow over in time, this was a part of you as a person.

“I’ve had a hard time with myself today.”, you began to explain, “I look at myself and don’t recognize what I see… or maybe it’s more that I don’t like what I see. I was thinking about you and what you see in me.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. Kidd was bewildered, unsure of what to say. He wanted you, every part of you. You fit into his life seamlessly, everything about you complimented everything about him. He needed to articulate that to you and not just convince you to move on. He wished you could see what you are from his perspective.

“I see a strong, beautiful, kick-ass person. You know shit that I couldn’t even hope to think of, always knowing what to say and how to unfuck the most fucked up situations.”, he said with an unusual tenderness in his voice, “I love you, I want you, and I need you.”

Your chest tightened and the tears returned, you looked up at him to see such a warm expression. Despite his roughness, Kidd was an amazing partner. He was always attentive to your needs and undoubtedly put forth so much effort into keeping you satisfied within your relationship. You felt so guilty for dropping all of this onto him, it was unfair for him to have to share this burden with you.

“I’m sorry, I love you too Kidd.”, you squeezed the hand that rested on your knee and attempted to stand, sinking right back down into the bed when he wrapped his arm around you.

He crashed his lips onto your own, passionately sucking and nipping as a way to materialize his feelings. His hand rested against your back, rubbing and massaging as an added layer of security. He trailed his kisses across your jaw, planting one final peck against your forehead. He flopped back against the bed, taking you with him and holding your head against his chest. He let his fingers wander, playing with stray pieces of hair that framed your face and enjoying the tranquility of lying with his person. He didn’t give a fuck what you thought was wrong with yourself, he was just happy that you’d given him a chance to be with someone like you.

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆

[enigmalea]

I absolutely do not think it's impossible for Lucanis to be a virgin, but I do understand some of the skepticism around the announcement that he's suddenly demisexual and an inexperienced virgin.

Let me preface this by saying that I am bi/pan (I don't fuss over labels) and demisexual myself. And of course, no matter what labels people share, everyone's experience is different.

I find Lucanis' writing to be pretty true to a demisexual experience (whether virgin or not) in retrospect. He doesn't seem to realize his desire until it smacks him full-force in the face and then it's overwhelming and he's not sure what to do.

None of that is part of my skepticism. My skepticism is from three things.

The Wigmaker's Job There is a passage in the Wigmaker's Job which hints, admittedly extremely vaguely that Lucanis has taken part in an orgy. (I'm using color here to separate the quote, italics are original to the piece.) Tevinter parties—especially thrown by the altus—were known for their excess. Lucanis still remembered the first gala he had attended in Minrathous. Rows and rows of tables had been overladen with jugs of wine and platters of food from all over Thedas. Retching vases were placed in corners for guests to relieve themselves if they overindulged. Prized slaves were brought out to perform. Acrobats tumbled overhead. Musicians played until their fingers blistered. While hunting his mark, Lucanis had opened the wrong door and walked into an orgy. Getting out of that had been interesting. Now, obviously, this could mean that he was getting out of the orgy without participating. But it could also be interpreted that getting away to finish his contract had required him to participate and the orgy itself was interesting.

Mary Kirby's Posts During the original promotion of Veilguard, Mary Kirby described Lucanis as a "disaster bisexual". Now, obviously, I'm aware that demisexual people can be bi/pan or hetero or gay. But the "demisexual" part typically doesn't fall within the "disaster" part of the description. And most people would assume that a "disaster bisexual" in his thirties is NOT a virgin. Very, very generously, I can see the argument that she maybe meant "disaster biromantic", because Lucanis is certainly that. But I don't think so. I think she meant "disaster bisexual."

The Timing So, where did the "Lucanis is demisexual and a virgin" come from? After the game's release, Lucanis' romance was met with a lot of criticism. It's no secret that Mary Kirby dislikes writing romances, and I think it shows in his romance. It's not necessarily bad, but it wasn't quite what people were expecting from a "disaster bisexual". So when questioned and provided an opportunity to have an explanation, "oh he's demisexual and a virgin!" She went with it.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong and it was intended all along. I kind of hope I am, because like I said, I don't necessarily dislike his romance as a demisexual one. But I absolutely 100% understand the skepticism that it was an intended representation and that Lucanis was intended to be a demisexual virgin all along. And I don't think everyone who's skeptical is acephobic or weird about an adult being a virgin.

A portion of people within this fandom are really letting their discomfort with asexual people and virginity show.

I hate to break it to you, but there are people who make it to adulthood as virgins (and it isn't inherently tied to being religious.).

I need you guys to breathe and be realistic for 5 minutes, and also realize the implications of your exclamation about how impossible you find Lucanis being a virgin is. Maybe it's not within your scope of focus, but yes, it happens.

No, I don't care that he's a Crow. He specifically tells you that seduction is Illario's thing.

Yes, you can read romance and be in love with the idea (and even long for it for yourself!) and still not take that jump.

Sex is not casual for everyone. Casual sex is not for everyone.

Please sit with that before you guffaw and call it impossible.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Fallen

Kelly Severide x Reader

"I can walk" "You've proven you can fall too."- in which Kelly doesn't hate you like you think he does @desimarie12

Since the first day you walked into firehouse fifty one as a new hire paramedic the ongoing feud between you and Kelly started. You tried to be understanding at first, you were replacing someone they lost, someone who according to Gabby had meant a lot to Kelly. Your understanding only went so far. After the first month passed and the best you ever got out of the squad lieutenant was a grunt if you happened to say excuse me if you were trying to get to the coffee pot? You wouldn’t actively try to kill him but you may render aid to a stray dog over him if they were both hurt at the same time.

The most infuriating thing of it all? Kelly was the most good looking guy you’d ever laid your eyes on. Easy smile and blue eyes that would stop any woman dead in her tracks and watching him be so at ease with every other member of the station house just made you feel like you would always be an outsider. 

You were helping Gabby to restock the rig and she asked you to grab some supplies from a closet inside that was just past Boden’s office. You knew where everything was by now, you’d been at fifty one for over six months. Everyone had welcomed you in and you felt like part of the family by then, well most everyone.

You hopped out of the back of the ambulance and headed inside, shooting Matt a smile when he held the door open for you when he was on the way out. “Thanks Casey” he nodded “Of course” 

You headed for the closet and walked in, quickly finding what Gabby needed and turned to head out but not before running smack into a bare chest which nearly caused you to drop everything in your hands. You felt hands on your waist, steadying you and was about to thank the owner of them when you looked up to see they belonged to Kelly “Christ have mercy” you groaned and he grinned “What’s wrong sweetheart? Can’t even keep your balance walking through the hallway? How do you take care of patients?”

You shook your head, trying to ignore the urge to let your eyes roam across his chest. Why the hell was he shirtless when it was January anyways? “You do talk a lot for a man whose life would depend on me if you got hurt”  he took a step closer and you could feel the heat coming off of him and smell his body wash still fresh from the shower “Are you saying you wouldn’t save me?”

He was close enough you had no choice but to crane your neck to be able to continue looking him in the eye and not be staring directly at his chest “I’m saying I’d do it but I wouldn’t be happy about it. You’ve been a pain in my ass since I got here. I know you don’t want me here. You haven’t hidden that fact but do not act like I’m incapable. You and I both know that isn’t true”

You stepped around him and headed back outside to the bays but stopped and looked over your shoulder “And put on a damn shirt, it’s thirty degrees outside and you’re walking around looking like you’re a stripper instead of a fireman” he grinned slightly “Are you calling me hot?” you shook your head “Of course that is the only thing that would stick in that thick brain of yours”

_____________________

When you got back outside it must have been written in your expression something was wrong because Gabby raised an eyebrow “Did Kelly start again?” you shrugged “It doesn’t matter” she sighed “I’m telling Matt. This is getting insane. It’s been over six months!” you shook your head “No! It’ll just get worse if it looks like I got you to tell on him. I don’t know what I did to make him hate me so much besides replacing Shay on the rig and it’s not like I tried to defile her memory or anything. The position was open, you needed a partner!”

She reached a hand out to rub your knee. “I don’t think he hates you, he just…” she laughed “Kelly’s an ass at times sweetie” “Oh really? I never would’ve known!” you laughed and she grinned “Just keep throwing it back at him. It keep him on his toes and it’s fun to watch for the rest of us when you catch him off guard” you winked at her “Oh I will, believe me”

A call blared out for a three car wreck requesting fire, rescue squad and the ambulance. You cut your eyes up at her and smirked “Oh yay” before you both hopped out of the back of the rig and ran to the front, hopping in amongst the chaos of everyone running to the trucks.

You cursed when you slid on the ice again and heard Capp giggle right before he fell flat on his face. “See?” you laughed, walking past him. Luckily it seemed most of the injuries sustained had been superficial but considering the thin layer of ice that had settled in different areas on top of the snow just clearing the scene was proving to be tricky.

You felt yourself slide and tried in vain to keep your footing. One foot went one way and one went the other and you ended up skidding down the small embankment and landing right at the feet of none other than the rescue squad’s lieutenant, you would have rathered the fall had killed you.

He looked down at you and a small smile slipped onto his face “Falling for me sweetheart?” you glared at him from your position on the ground “If I could get up without falling I’d kick your ass Severide” he laughed and leaned down, slipping one arm under your legs and the other under your neck, holding you against his chest before calling to Cruz “I’m taking our little spitfire paramedic back up so Gabby can make sure she didn’t hurt herself” you glanced down and realized he had different boots than you, of course he did.

“I can walk Kelly” you argued and he nodded “I know this, you’ve proven you can fall too. So for once don’t argue with me and just let me get you back up” you really didn’t want to fall again so you sighed then nodded. He tucked you against his chest and grabbed the rope to walk up the embankment while holding it.

_______________

Once he was on solid ground you expected him to put you down but no, he carried you all the way to the triage tent Gabby had on a cleared patch. “Dawson, your partner took a spill. Make sure she’s ok. She hasn’t tried to kill me in the last five minutes” 

He sat you down on the stretcher and winked at you “Be careful” you shook your head “Why? Because you want the pleasure of killing me?” his eyes trailed from your face down your body and considering you were currently covered in snow you felt yourself warm from embarrassment “Kill you? No. I could think of a few other things I’d rather do” 

He turned to walk away while your mouth was still dropped open from shock. Gabby looked from his retreating back to your face before she cracked up laughing “That explains so damn much!”

Once the scene was clear and everyone was back at the house you set out to find Kelly, hopefully alone. You ended up finding him on the roof with Matt’s help. He turned around when you stepped out of the door and smiled “I see you’re walking all on your own, I’m proud”

You shook your head “What the hell was that at the triage tent?” “What?” he asked and you waved your hands around “I could think of a few other things I’d rather do” 

He shrugged and let his eyes rake over you again and you were grateful you’d had the presence of mind to change before seeking him out “I wouldn’t wanna kill you over other things” you shook your head again “You’ve gotta be freaking kidding me! You’ve been an unbearable ass to me sinceI got here and now, what? You want to sleep with me?”

He took a step closer to you and you shivered feeling the heat coming off of him “When you first got here, yeah I was an ass because Shay was still a very sore spot. Then the longer you were here the only time I could get your attention was when you were pissed at me or else you ignored me all together so I took what I could get. If I could change how I acted when you got here, I would but I can’t” you laughed lightly “What the hell Severide?” 

He took another step closer which put his chest nearly touching yours “So, do you want to kill me?” you cut your eyes up at him, a grin slipping onto your face “Well, now that I know there’s other options..maybe not so much” his eyes fell to your lips so you laughed “Dammit Kelly just kiss me and get it over with” he shook his head “You really are a romantic sweetheart” before crashing his lips into yours.

[siri-ike]

Danny's Phanclub

From this prompt

On december 9th, 7 people who were not busy that afternoon gathered in a dimly lit garage on the request of one person.

Angie (15) head of the Danny Phan club's theories division: You're probably all wondering why I asked you here today.

Su-Jin (19) in charge of keeping the websites updated: Yeah, the urgent message with no explanation was kinda jarring.

Jónatan (16) event organizer: couldn't have given a little heads up?

Carmelo (14) treasurer: And I don't believe we needed this many snacks.

Rowan (17) President of the Phanclub: Let's hear her out.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed above them.

Harriet (17) made matching t-shirts: Got the power back on. What are we talking about?

Angie: I'm sure you've all heard that Danny Phantom somehow managed to freeze that giant plant ghost last week?

S,J,C,R,H,D:*murmurs of agreement*

A: And everyone knows ghost poweres are based on how one dies. As was proven last year with that ghost who was perpetually soaking wet and kept spiting up water

She turns dramatically away from the pool conference table.

A: Before now, he could just do the same things as all other ghosts. Invisibility, intangibility, flying. Plus, those blasts, which are probably just concentrated ectoplasm.

She drags in a large corkboard and looks at the others when she flops it around. Revealing newspaper clippings of Danny using each of his powers, a grave yard, some mountains, and... ski resort pamphlets?

A: Now. Let's look at the evidence.

1. The snow. That came out of nowhere, right? - Wrong. Before the Christian version of Hell, there was the Norse Hel. It was where everyone when when they died, provided they didn't die in battle. It was thought to be a vast wasteland covered in ice where you could spend eternity with those who were with you when you died.

2. His appearance. He wears a onesie. There are a few reasons one might wear a onesie. The main reason being, you don't want something getting into your clothes. For example, bees. But he has nothing to do with bees. It would have to be something else, something he is connected to... like snow. Like his hair. *pause for effect* it's snow white. The chances of someone being born with white hair is less than 0.001% or one in 17 to 20 thousand. It can also be caused by a deficiency in vitamin B12 or pituitary or thyroid issues. You can all refer to the group chat for articles on those.

*Angie knows no one ever reads her sorces, but damn it, she did her research, and she's gonna site it.*

Jónatan: When did you have time for this? School only finished yesterday.

A: What I think is more likely is that his haircolor changed post-mortem. But why white?

A: I think he froze to death.

The room went silent. It had crossed each of their minds, but no one had wanted to say it. Enter Angie 'can't read the room to save her life' Sage.

A: Considering the multiple ski resorts in Illinois supporting the theory and how much more aggressive he is in December, probably due to the anniversary of his death. It could also explain why no other ghosts show up in December. Either they're too scared of him or they're giving him space. He has seemed to be somewhat chumy with some of the other ghosts, despite their combative relationship-

Rowan: Angie, stop.

Quiet.

She looks around the room. Four people are looking down, seemingly avoiding eye contact, and two look at her. Rowan, who looks right at her with stern yet sympathetic eyes.

R: Everyone take five. We'll pick it up from here. Angie, a word.

Oh great, she must've offended someone. If only she could remember to look at the faces. Shurely, there must be some signs she could look out for.

R: I know you like theories, Angie. But can you tone it down? You're talking about someone's death. That's not the sort of thing most people are comfortable with.

They're one of the most patient people she's ever met, but sometimes even Rowan doesn't quite make sense.

A: But... he's a ghost. We all know he died.

R: We do. But, I think this whole conversation could be easier if you remove the "post mortem" and the "to death" parts of your presentation.

A: I guess I could change the wording a bit. Leave out the more gruesome parts. But I need someone to hear those out, a second set of ears to make sure I didn't miss anything.

Rowan looks to the corner of the room, where a 12 year old girl sits on a barstool with a wide-eyed grin ear to ear. She nods as though knowing exactly what they want.

Dani can hear you out on those.

Dani (12 (real age 1)) a gremlin, somehow always has time for this: I look forward to working with you.

~~~~~~~~

Angie's articles

Premature gray/white hair

One in 17-20,000

BTW I'm not gonna continue this.

[vi-is-badass]

You know what I've rewatched act 1 a few times and I definitely disagree with myself here for the most part. I think it's perfectly clear why Vi becomes an enforcer and makes the decisions she does throughout the act and I'm going to go more in-depth here because I'm a bit tired of the constant mischaracterization of Vi. (I’ve never agreed that this was ooc for Vi, just that it was underexplored.)

There are a lot of factors that play into Vi's decision to become an enforcer but the biggest ones are guilt (for Cassandra's death and for "creating" Jinx), Vi's knowledge that Zaun wouldn't survive a full-scale invasion from enforcers, and her fear of losing Caitlyn.

Let’s start with Vi’s guilt.

The very first sequence after the aftermath of Jinx bombing the council is Cassandra's funeral. Vi's guilt is very obvious here. She feels responsible for Cassandra’s death and Caitlyn’s loss and this guilt coming from two fronts. From her actions and words at the tea party and her hand in “creating” Jinx.

She’s the one who begged Caitlyn not to shoot. She’s the one who said and did the wrong things that led to “Powder” choosing the Jinx moniker and shooting that rocket. And she was the reason that Caitlyn was even at that tea party in the first place and faced so much pain at Jinx’s hand (She knows that Jinx thinks she’s replaced her with Caitlyn even if that’s not true). 

She believes on some level that if Cailtlyn had never freed her from that prison cell and become a part of her life then Caitlyn wouldn’t have faced the loss and pain that she did in season 1.

Vi’s guilt over creating Jinx is twofold as well. She believes she created Jinx with her actions that night when Vander, Mylo, and Claggor died.

She spent years torturing herself, replaying that moment over and over to the point of twisting herself into a monster, fearing she’d broken her sister with those actions and words and desiring nothing more than to apologize. At the tea party, she is told by Jinx that it was that night that “killed” Powder and created Jinx. (even if this isn’t true. So many factors went into creating Jinx. Silco and the systems in place are inarguably bigger factors)

Vi also believes she created Jinx and feels responsible for her actions because of how Vi was parentified as a child. That responsibility for the actions of those around her, especially her sister, was ingrained in her from a young age. She feels responsible for Jinx’s actions because Jinx herself is Vi’s responsibility.

This guilt over creating Jinx is shown in the scene where Caitlyn springs the badge on Vi. 

Vi asks Caitlyn for the gauntlets and says “I can do this myself, no one else needs to get hurt.”

Vi believes she needs to be the one to bring Jinx to justice. She created her so she needs to be the one to stop her.

It’s also here that we start to see that Vi knows that Zaun won’t survive a full-scale invasion from the enforcers, which is backed up by her later plea to Caitlyn after the memorial to just take a small squad of people down into Zaun. She knows at this point that a full-scale invasion is likely if Jinx isn’t brought in and/or an alternative to an invasion isn’t presented. She’s trying to minimize casualties and put out fires the best she can.

She’s seen that Zaun doesn’t stand a chance against hextech when she raided the shimmer factory with Jayce. She’s also seen what a group of enforcers can do on the day of ash. A large group of Zaunites were led across that bridge by Vander and Silco and yet all they saw was death– no progress– and her parents were among the casualties.

She’s internalized Vander’s lessons and is trying to avoid war.

She also remembers Vander’s deal with the enforcers to keep the peace and minimize conflict. To her joining this strike force is meant to lead to that same end, so even if she hates the enforcers– they are the people who killed her parents, caused her to lose years of her life to prison, and beat her regularly over that same time– it’s a “necessary evil” to avoid a conflict she knows topside will win.

And that brings me to my final point: Vi is afraid to lose Caitlyn.

Caitlyn is all Vi thinks she has left. She’s Vi’s only tether in a world that has completely changed without her and left her behind. She literally begs Caitlyn in episode 3 to promise her she won’t change. “Everyone I know has changed. Promise me you won’t change.”

Vi has lost everyone. She lost her parents, Vander, Mylo, and Claggor when they died and, in a sense, she lost her sister to change. She isn’t the person Vi left behind and Vi hasn’t been able to grapple with that yet. 

So in the wake of all this loss Vi grasps onto Caitlyn as tightly as she can. There is pressure on Caitlyn’s end when she offers Vi the badge and when she enlists Vi despite her rejection, which Vi learns from Maddie, and it pushes Vi towards this decision so she won’t lose that last pillar of connection she has to hold onto.

It’s also this fear and the guilt she has for the situation that causes her to not push back against Caitlyn when she’s saying derrogatory things about Zaunites. Things she definitely would have called her out on prior to that rocket being launched. 

These three things drive Vi during act 1 and allow for her to justify the concessions she makes leading up to the end of episode 3 where she reaches a line she can’t justify when Isha gets in the way of the fight and Caitlyn still tries to take the shot anyway. (That scene is the most well-executed part of the act imo)

She’s an active participant in the search for Jinx and the raids on the shimmer factories. She could easily justify taking out the shimmer factories and the chem-barons with the logic that it’s necessary for Zaun and for peace.

She sees the chem-barons as a few high-profile people actively exploiting the undercity for wealth and power that need to be removed. It’s a similar line of thinking that she used for Silco and her raid with Jayce.

This justification can even extend to Vi’s acceptance of the use of the grey. It chokes people but it causes them to clear out and allow the strike team to take out their targets without civilians in the way.

As long as there are no casualties and the people they are targeting are limited to the chem-barons and Jinx, Vi can convince herself she hasn’t gone too far.

This is why Vi is horrified when Caitlyn powers her gun up in a silent threat to the informant.

This man isn’t Jinx or one of the Chen-barons and he admitted to quitting his work for them. He isn’t a target or necessary to take down to appease topside. This is the first on screen instance of Caitlyn deviating from those goals and flexing her power over someone that isn’t a target.

In the hellfire montage (seen below) that’s a Chen-baron that Vi and Caitlyn are apprehending. Hence Vi can justify the actions she’s taking alongside Caitlyn.

Now I do believe there is definitely an under exploration of Vi’s perspective in this act when it comes to the grey and the strike team’s increasing brutality, especially in comparison to Caitlyn and Jinx, but I do think in this act the reasoning behind Vi’s actions can be extrapolated from the points made above so it’s not as much of an issue here as it becomes later.

To bring this back around to what my initial point was, I do disagree with my initial take that the show didn’t do a good job showing what pushed Vi to become an enforcer and what motivates the decisions she made in act 1. There is underexploration, but it’s not to the detriment of her character here.

Caitlyn and Vi weaponizing toxic air pollution against the undercity and then Jinx and Sevika using Janna’s temple to recreate her legendary miracle by blowing that toxic air back onto Piltover.

Jinx (and Sevika) just became the hero Zaun needs.

[stardustedknuckles]

In 2016 I packed my life into 2 big suitcases and moved from small town Georgia to Chicago, a move that may not have been a bad decision in and of itself but which led to many desperate bad decisions made to keep myself afloat in the short term. My goal was to not go back to Georgia. I needed to make it. I had something to prove and things to learn that I couldn't back home. I lived with an online friend we'll call Caleb, who was finishing up his doctorate of psychology, and we shared many a wonderful night together as friends before having 3 jobs and barely sleeping caught up to me. I moved back to Georgia, filed for bankruptcy, and spent years getting any semblance of a life back together. I've missed Chicago every day (it's just a city! But it was the first to feel like home and the weather agreeing with a person will do a lot of heavy lifting) but I've told myself I've learned from those mistakes.

Five and a half years after leaving, I'm invited to live with an online friend who's finishing up a psych degree and who wants to get their other friend to move in too. His name, of course, is Caleb's.

I'm not sure whether I'm being offered a second chance or having my bluff called about the learning from my mistakes thing.

[unfinishedslurs]

RIP Mike Wheeler’s heterosexuality

“Is being gay contagious?”

Steve stares at his phone groggily before putting it back against his ear. “…Mike?”

“Is it?”

“It’s three in the fuckin’ morning is what it is.” He rubs his nose, Mike’s words finally catching up to his brain. “Seriously, Mike? No it’s not fucking contagious, you’re not gonna get the gay disease or whatever from me. I promise you’ll keep liking girls.”

He’s a little hurt, even though he knows the question is innocent. They’ve been asking a lot of questions, like the inquisitive little assholes they are, but none of them had seemed like they weren’t okay with it. Until now.

“…that’s not what I meant,” Mike says. Steve realizes that his voice sounds shaky, even over the phone.

“Then what—“ he cuts himself off, realizing halfway through his bitching that there was only one reason Mike would call about this. “Oh.”

“Can you pick me up?”

“It’s three in the morning,” he repeats, even as he starts wondering where he left his keys. “Your mom…”

“Steve,” Mike pleads. “Please?”

He sighs. “I’m on my way.”

Mike is sitting on his doorstep when he pulls up, head in his hands. Steve doesn’t have to get out of the car, he stalks to the passenger door with all the vitriol of a boy with too many emotions to hold in, and wrenches the door open hard enough that Steve worries he’s going to break it.

“Watch it, noodle arms,” he says, trying to pretend this is normal. Maybe if he acts like it’s not well past midnight, Mike will relax.

It doesn’t work. Mike slumps in his seat, not bothering with the seatbelt. “Can you just drive?”

Steve drives. Doesn’t really know where they’re going, but it doesn’t matter. Just away seems to suffice.

He eventually pulls into a side road

“I’m scared to even touch another guy now! Because apparently hugging is gay when you’re older, and so is sleeping in the same bed, and telling your friends you love them, and…and I’m fucking scared all the time, ‘cause what if they’re right? How do they know? How can they tell by just fucking looking at me? It’s bullshit!”

“Shit, kid,” Steve says, heartbroken. “Shit. C’mere.”

He pulls him close, and Mike turns his face into the crook of his neck, shaking. His shirt collar starts to get damp.

“I don’t know what to do,” he cries. “I thought it was normal, I thought everyone was just…so scared all the time, and we just didn’t talk about it. But then you said that thing about being afraid and pushing it down, and I didn’t— I tried to ignore it. I tried so hard not to think about it, Steve, I swear I tried.”

“I know you did,” he says quietly. It hits him that he might be the only one who really gets it. Eddie gave up denying it long ago, deciding to evolve into something else for them to focus on. Robin’s a girl. Which doesn’t mean jack shit in most cases, because being a lesbian fucking sucks in a town like Hawkins, but girls aren’t as obsessive about it. Sometimes when they compare notes, Robin will just stare at him.

Mike shakes his head. “I don’t know what I did wrong,” he mumbles tearfully into his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Steve says with a surprising amount of vehemence. He grabs Mike by his scrawny little shoulders, pulls him away so he can look directly into his bloodshot eyes. “Not a damn thing, do you hear me? There is nothing wrong with you, and anyone who tells you otherwise deserves a swift kick in the balls. Got it?”

Mike responds by bursting into loud, messy sobs.

Steve just keeps holding him, running a hand through his hair and soothing him gently, like he wishes someone had done for him or Robin or Eddie when they were young. Finally Mike pulls away, embarrassment starting to set in.

“Sorry,” he mutters.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Steve asks instead of a meaningless platitude he knows Mike wouldn’t accept.

Mike gives him a suspicious look. “I guess.”

“I’m scared too. All the time.”

“No you’re not,” Mike snorts. “You don’t need to make me feel better just because I’m a pussy.”

“I’m not joking,” he says. “Why do you think I dated girls? Why do you think I went through so many lengths to hide it? It’s fucking terrifying, man. But you know what makes it less scary?”

“Dating girls? Marrying a woman?”

“No.” He pokes Mike’s chest, right over his heart. “People. Friends who love and accept you. Friends who know what you’re going through, even.”

“Do you…” Mike chews his lip. “Do you think Nancy would be okay with it? With me?”

“Absolutely I do. She was okay with me, wasn’t she? And I was her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but it’s different when it’s your family, right? Sometimes people don’t care if someone is… people don’t care until it affects them. Do you think Nancy is like that?”

He knows Nancy isn’t like that, but that's a talk they’re going to have to have themselves. “I really don’t,” he encourages. “I think she’d be really glad to know this part of you, actually. She loves you.”

“…I know,” he says, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t… we made this dumb no secrets pact the first time the Upside-Down happened, I don’t know why. It’s stupid. But…I don’t want to keep secrets from her anymore.”

[unionizedwizard]

funniest thing ive learned (and that's coming from someone who had debilitating perfectionist tendencies) is that making your own mistakes is actually thrilling and really fun because it really feels like gaining xp and leveling up but irl. like ah shit i see. well i'll know that's a soak marker next time kinda deal

[crellanstein]

Did… did you forget she was trying to stop a hive mind from taking control of the whole world? And also stopping a foreign occupying force from aiding that magic hive mind and taking the city in the process?

It’s kind of myopic to see this only as ‘coming to their rescue’, everyone fighting against Viktor & Ambessa in this sequence is TRYING TO SAVE THE FUCKING WORLD.

Sevika & the rest of the underground are there too, are they also traitors to the cause?

There’s absolutely nothing in the show that implied Jinx would be on the enforcers side post-finale.

If she’s there to rescue anyone its Vi & Vander, her family; which time & time again is the thing she’s proven she’ll go to Extreme lengths for:

(Extreme Lengths that she rarely thinks all the way through consequence-wise, but extreme and indicative of her devotion none-the-less)

She made the monkey-bomb in an attempt to save Vander.

She blew up the council chamber to push forward Silco’s dream.

She broke into Still-Water to save Isha.

She risked her life fighting Warwick/Vander to save Isha & Sevika.

She went chasing after Vander/Warwick in the tunnels, despite the risk of him losing control and killing them all.

Also…

That kind of thinking is the problem with Silco’s, and by extension Jinx’s, philosphy toward Piltover. This idea that Zaun & Piltover can be separated & treated as such. That the class divide is all-powerful and insurmountable without war & secession.

Piltover & Zaun are THE SAME CITY. A horribly divided & fucked up city, but it’s two parts are inextricably bound together. They are reliant on each other in so many ways, and if you watch the show closely you’ll see that mutual reliance is at the heart of most of the conflict between them. Piltover needs the resources Zaun provides, Zaun needs the stability that Piltover provides.

Now, before I go any further, I must say that I am NOT on Piltovers SIDE, the upperclass of the Divided City either directly caused or allowed horrible things to happen to their working class, and that is just plain wrong. The Undercity never deserved such treatment and Piltover should have never allowed itself to grow so lax as to consider half the city they rule to be beneath their concern.

But it seems it wasn’t always like that. After all, the Kiramman’s seem to have built the ventilation system that handled the Gray. Ik Ik, Caitlyn abused that system and turned it into a weapon to further oppress the lower class, but it was originally intended for good.

And if you’re doubting that Zaun needs the stability Piltover provides, I have to tell you that it’s more abstract than what is easily seen.

Piltover, both before and after Hextech, is a large player in the global politics of this world, a position that the maintaining of which is no easy or obvious task. All we see in show is Noxxus applying pressure of this kind, but given their central location in their world and the prestige of a university that creates technological marvels, such pressure must come from all sides.

Given Zaun is primarily run by gangsters or smaller community leaders like Vander & Benzo. How well do you think they’d fare on a geopolitical stage? Not well unless they had say a university where they could attain higher education.

That’s why at the end of S2 it’s so important that Sevika has a council seat.

The war with the enforcers only further entrenches these divides, on both sides.

Not to be cheesy, but It took a common enemy for them to realize what they have in common. The city.

In Jayces alternative universe, Zaun falls with Piltover.

In Ekko’s?

Zaun & Piltover are lifted up together and that is where we see the best version of the city.

Not so much because of the lack of hextech, but rather what that lack created the opportunity for:

Community.

The way they sanitized and mellowed down Jinx's aggression towards enforcers until they have her come to their fucking rescue at the end of Season 2 is so fucking lame. We went from this:

Bombings, shootings, grisly killings, guts splayed, blood everywhere. Zero remorse. To this:

Lighthearted comedy, knocking unconscious, no deaths. Middle finger teehee, nothing too dark and serious anymore. And finally to this:

Coming to their rescue as part of her ~redemption~. "Character progression" my ass. This was whitewashing and character assassination because god forbid we have a single main character who opposes enforcers and topside.

[mania-sama]

Just want to say thanks so much for that post about you prefer Kevin/Neil over Neil/Andrew. Yes, I thought I was the only one. Agree with your answers about them, also not that I hate on Andrew but I don't see and feel the chemistry between him and Neil. FYI, I have said this to my AFTG moots once before and got blocked (that is why I never said it again until I found your blog).

And as fan of Haikyuu, don't you feel that Kevin/Neil kinda remind you of some other duo? Yes, Kageyama/Hinata. Wait, I know their personality is different but somehow their dynamic is kinda similar, right?

Sorry, if it's kinda random, but I got into AFTG because a friend of mine said, "You love Haikyuu, right? It's like that but with mafia and troubled kids" (worst advice ever, but I grew to love AFTG, too). And somehow, as I read them, I thought Neil will end up with Kevin if it's mlm story, and he end up with Andrew instead?

Oh yeah, can I ask what do you mean with "Andrew is the most unrealistic part of AFTG"?

Sorry for this long ask, thanks if you want to answer....

hey!! thanks so much for sending an ask! it was not too long; i love reading anything and everything people send me!

So sorry that people have blocked you over something as silly as a ship preference! I see where Andreil comes from; it has plenty of amazing and good qualities, and I'm happy with it being endgame! I just know, in my heart of hearts, that Kevneil should've been the one to cross the finish line. But that's just my opinion, and everyone is entitled to believe or think otherwise.

As far as comparing Hinata and Kageyama to Neil and Kevin, I'm of the opinion that their similarities start and end with their appearances. Outside of being singularly obsessed with one sport, I don't necessarily see the relation. Neil and Hinata are gingers and relatively short, and Kageyama is tall with dark hair. Their dynamics, to me, are different as well; Kageyama and Hinata both strive to get better together, but it isn't the trade-off and companionship that Kevin and Neil hold. Kevneil's dynamic is special in that it's very hard to find a reasonable comparison. They just have so much going on at all times. Kagehina, while a respectable pair, aren't as complex. They better each other even while at constant odds, and while you can say that is the relationship between Kevin and Neil, I feel that it is far too simple of an explanation, almost to the point that it's false.

Your friend isn't wrong to make the comparison. I've often thought this myself, honestly. It's got the same sport-focus while also being about mafia and troubled kids. I actually really like Haikyuu and think it's great; All for the Game essentially combines what I like about Haikyuu and everything I look for in Haikyuu fanfiction (that is, a focus on the individual characters and adding in insane trauma and lore for no reason at all). I personally think it's hilarious. It's one of the many reasons I'm very drawn to this series; it's like reading self-service fanfiction. I am a dead dove girlie at heart, what can I say?

... But on the same token, I have to talk about Andrew. While I don't disagree with my statement that Andrew is the most unrealistic part of AFTG (because he most certainly is), I will also say that this doesn't mean I dislike his character or don't find his story compelling. I do. I resonate with a lot of the ways he processes information, and I like how he represents that not everyone deals with trauma in socially acceptable or "presentable" ways. He's different, and that's okay.

However, here is where I come to a roadblock. I love the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag. I like to read when characters, in fanfiction, go through traumatic things. It's cathartic; it's a way for me to separate fiction from reality. I can experience these things without having to get emotionally involved. It's a curious phenomenon. But here's the other thing: I think it's something that should stay in fanfiction.

When you bring these serious topics into a published work, you have to treat it with the lens of professionalism. A video I watched semi-recently explains this very well while talking about the book A Little Life. The creator uses the term trauma porn to describe the general interest in visual works (books/tv shows/movies) where characters go through an unsubstantiated amount of trauma for the sake of... trauma. It's not there for any significant reason other than to be written. That's why it's so popular in fanfiction, and why I'm okay with indulging in it in that format. It's not serious. Fanfiction can be serious, but it's not serious in the same way that A Little Life is meant to be serious. A Little Life would be a perfect fanfiction, but as a published book, it is juvenile and worth very little in the world of trauma exploration.

This is how I feel about Andrew, and in some parts, Jean, in All for the Game. Andrew is raped about a gajillion times in this work. And for what? There is very little reason to keep making him endure this insanely traumatic experience, only for him to wind back in the same exact place he was before. It adds nothing to the story or his character. His original backstory works fine in the narrative: he is repeatedly traumatized as a youth, and this fundamentally changes who he becomes. That is fine. But then it happens off-book... again? To serve as a punishment to... Neil? Then he comes back like nothing happened. As if he was raped for nothing. Because, well, he was. Narratively, no repercussions occurred because of this action. Andrew didn't hold it against him. Neil still experienced the Nest regardless if Andrew did or didn't get raped. Then, it happens... again. This time on-book, and while we do get the satisfaction of seeing his original rapist murdered, it still does nothing. This encounter with his old abuser could have been worth a lot if there had been a proper set-up of conflict, but instead, the author chose to write a rape scene. Because that makes sense? Especially when the character bounces right back as if nothing happened. Because again, nothing narratively happened due to this scene. Aaron gets locked away for a while, and that's about it. It isn't even really a big deal, because they end up working through the details off-book. The team isn't severely impeded by this situation. Nothing happens. Do you see why this is a problem? It's very, very frustrating, and it makes a mockery of a very serious trauma. It is, point blank, trauma porn, and it has no right to be in a serious, published work. Even most fanfiction writers that do write trauma porn would've handled this with more grace and elegance than Nora did.

This alone wouldn't have made Andrew fully unrealistic. Now I want to talk about the issue of the drug he takes. He takes this made-up insanity pill that makes him loopy and goofy. Because of course it does. Even though there is no medical standing for a drug like this to even exist, nor would it medically make any sense at all to cause him to act this way. Furthermore, I am of the opinion that he didn't need to take them at all! Everyone in the book hyped up Andrew's natural state to be horrifying and unapproachable, only for the reveal to be... a stoic guy. I think that he was scarier on the drugs. He was honestly relaxed and seemed to be happier off the drugs despite everyone saying that he was crueler. In the narrative, he didn't even change. The drugs served only as an inhibitor to his playing in the first two books, and another way to make Andrew experience more trauma.

In short, Andrew, to me, is very clearly just a way for a female author to torture a gay male character. I said it, and I will not take it back. I wouldn't care if this was a fanfiction (I do it all the goddamn time), but it's not. It's a published book, and therefore must be reviewed with a critical eye. And she does a lot of this stuff again with Jean, only with a bit more care and finesse. Jean is far more believable than Andrew, and he still runs into many of the same problems that Andrew's character writing fatally experiences.

To quote you, sorry for the long response! I just had a lot to say. I love All for the Game. I honestly think it's a good book series that explores avenues of trauma responses with a fairly entertaining plot; no piece of media is perfect, and some of the greatest have serious problems with them that a lot of people choose to ignore. I love All for the Game despite its many flaws, and I am very excited for the next book of The Sunshine Court duology.

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille