#That rant got longer than I expected

[clovealopod]

OC-tober 2024 - Day 6: Past

I’m back with Sturgeon again for another day! Individuals of those first two images + ranting beneath the cut.

Baby!!

Sturgeon hatched without arms. Their parents and doctors were never really sure why, and despite being a regenerative species, new arms never grew in. Luckily this has never really hindered Sturgeon, as inklings are highly adaptable. At a young age, their parents started styling their tentacles to work as hands, which allowed Sturgeon to be just as capable of things like writing and other dexterous activities as other inklings their age. It was still a bit more of a struggle, and they still have some slight issues with dexterity, but it’s much better than if their parents hadn’t helped them get that freedom.

Teen :0

Sturgeon was so excited to leave home for the first time. They come from a small to mid sized commuter town. Out near Calamari County, but not as far as where the Squid Sisters are from. One of those towns that’s close enough that everyone goes on long drives for work, but far away enough that there’s no public transport, farms interspersed between the houses, and literally nothing going on.

City life was new and at first, kind of scary. They luckily got used to it quick, and were pretty decent at turf wars. Still, they felt kind of lonely. In a place so full of people, it was surprisingly difficult for them to make connections. If asked today, Sturgeon wouldn’t be able to tell you if following Cuttlefish down the drain was the best or worst decision they ever made. Sure, they got friends and a support system out of it, they go more skilled with inkweapons, but… was it worth it? The fun version of war that regulated turf war offered was just… not realistic. And Sturgeon wasn’t fully prepared for the reality.

When Cuttlefish and Sturgeon disappeared during their scouting trip to Mount Nantai, Sturgeon’s parents became frantic with concern and fear. Their kid, their oldest kid who used to call almost every day, just straight up disappeared. They had told their parents in advance that they’d be on a trip with friends in an area with patchy service for a month, so at first it was okay, expected. But then a month passed, and then two, and then three, and there was nothing. After an entire year, when Cuttlefish and Eight and Sturgeon got out of the deep sea metro, Sturgeon had lost their apartment, and had no way to charge their phone. (Kind of a really poor choice on Cuttlefish's part to let them just... go. After all that. They should've been hospitalized much sooner). When Sturgeon was hospitalized a few days later (those few days were some of the worst of their life), their parents showed up almost immediately and found out about everything (and they absolutely grilled Cuttlefish…)

Sturgeon wanted to stay in the city. Their parents, being understandably scared for their safety, didn’t want them to be alone. Sturgeon stayed with their parents for a month. Their parents inly let them go back to the city after Four (Rowan) and Eight (Attka) offered Sturgeon a place as their roommate. The first year or two after the deep sea metro was really rough on Sturgeon and Attka. But it got better. Sturgeon’s parents visited every week at first, eventually every month because they didn’t want to hover too much. Sturgeon didn’t return to turf wars or the NSS in general until they were 18.

[siltslut]

2 and 4 for the podcast asks!? :]

2: what’s a podcast you’ve cried over?

so i’m honestly not much of a crier over pieces of fiction— even when i really really want to be. my body just won’t let me idk why. but the closest i’ve ever come has to be the tsv finale. if not purely for the anxiety that came before it, then for all the tearing my heart out it did afterwards

4: which podcast has the best soundtrack/music?

TRICE FORGOTTEN!! it was created by rusty quill’s sam jones, and it fits the podcast so perfectly. not only does it have an incredibly swashbuckling opening theme, but some central characters get their own song based off of their personality, background, ethnicity etc.

for example: alestes (protagonist) probably has my favorite song, a mix of african and chinese tunes + instruments. it’s this repeating motif we hear - a lullaby from her childhood and it’s so prettyyyy!!!

siva (voiced by tmagp’s shahan hamza, aka sam) is a darling little guy and a terrible flirt. he’s a cartographer living in colonized india, who stows away with our crew after the death of his grandmother. his song wonderfully encapsulates his background and goofiness. what a guy.

anh, alestes’ gayass rival (they have the gayest fight scene in the finale it’s so funny please listen to this show) has a very pretty bamboo flute, that’s often diegetic within the show.

but that’s not all!! sam sam the music man went above and beyond for this podcast, because he got a flute player who worked on TITANIC AND AVATAR for this soundtrack. this is my favorite podcast fun fact because of the pure dedication to the music.

anyway trice forgotten only got one season in (a crime i will never forgive mr newall for /j) but it’s a fun time, and if you like historically accurate pirate stuff i highly recommend

if you just want the soundtrack, here you go

[nightthinker-08]

lil DOS2 rant?

Le sighhhhhh Finally finished DOS2 again, and I do adore this game a lot and has easily become my favorite. I love the combat of the game and the implementation of magical and physical armor really makes you think on your builds and strategies. And I know some might disagree cuz not a lot like turn based combat apparently? The story is so rich from start to finish, absolutely no parts of it bored me. The dialogues are fun and witty, catching me off gaurd and making me laugh way more than I thought it would. And the characters are so well written, you fall in love with almost all of them, especially the origin characters and the people you sail with in Lady Vengeance. But for all that praise, whenever I think of the romance in the game I can't help but feel its more than a little lacking. I love the characters to death I, wouldn't've have played the game twice already and have over 200+ hours on it if I didn't- but interactions with them are so few and far between. You don't even have one quiet moment with them. Well... I mean you do get one moment alone with them, but to call it a quiet one would be so... hilariously untrue for a number of reasons Anyway me being me took the little romance I can get in stride on my first play through, thinking "oh if I progress their quest they give me important dialogue!" So I focused a lot on the one person I wanted to romance (it was Sebille) and absolutely eating up any romantic dialogue that pops up (most of them catching me off gaurd cuz again we didn't talk much through out our journey and suddenly she's cozying up on me-). Only to have missed a lot in my first playthrough (not really a big complaint cuz I like you can do a lot of different things to get to the same point), and accidentally not progress one of my companions stories and have a small betrayal at the end. But then by the end of it all, while the ending I got was mostly happy, the ending I had with my chosen partner was absolutely bittersweet. While yes- I did make a lot of mistakes in my first game cuz I had no idea what the hell I was doing :D So it could absolutely be chalked up to me just missing a lot of key things to ensure a better ending with us. Hence why I played it twice in a row, and believe me I missed A LOT especially in forth joy, the first chapter. I tried my best to be as thorough as I can. Exploring every inch of them map, talking to almost every NPC I come in contact with, finishing every quest in my log book, talking more instead of fighting to get more dialogue. And while I can safely say I was absolutely more thorough this time round, I'm pretty sure I still missed a few things. Its a long ass game- there are a lot you need to keep track of, and I can be very forgetful. But I think I completed well enough to know this is the general scope of what an average player—or maybe not even averege, but a slightly more avid player—would get. So what did I get after all that? Well... Roughly the same ending with only minor differences... Was the entire game more different the 2nd time round cuz I knew what I was doing and found a lot of new and cool things through out that gave it more charm? 100%! Without a doubt! Did the companion I got together with get a happier ending? Also yes. But am I still a bit disappointed at romance and how that side plot ended? Sadly yes. Spoilers below for people who haven't played or haven't gotten to the end game.

So somewhere in the late game there's a choice to have Sebille rooted into the mother tree, I dont want to have to overly explain it but it basically bounding her to elven duties for the rest of her days and also she turns in a a tree once she dies :'Dc. Now I was an idiot and actually rooted her even when I had 2nd thought on it cuz I thought that was just her duty. And bit me in the ass at the end and was mostly what made the ending so bittersweet for me. She wasnt free yet we still loved each other so we had to part ways. Of course she said she'd always love me and never forget me before sharing a sweet kiss but it was still sad... Me being the simp I am I made a completely new game just to ensure she gets a happy ending (preferably together with my character) and she did and it was nice but... It made the whole end game conversation with her a lot shorter, it wasn't explicitly stated we'd stay together but in the epilogue nothing about our romance was mentioned. She was just happy traveling and living her best life and don't get me wrong- like Go girl! Live your best life! No need to get tied down! But I just wish the bond you form not just with your romance partner but with all your companions didn't feel like such a forgettable chapter of their life. There could have at least been a mention where at least one, or preferably all, of your party members would gather to together to meet up every now and again in the new world. Maybe its just makes me sad cuz I thought of my party as being a found family towards each other, so to see them be so ready to leave each other, split off and never talk to each other ever again really pained me. The origin characters are one, if not, my top reason I want to keep coming back to this game and replaying it but every time I just keep thinking of how it all ended, my heart sinks.

Minor complaints up ahead.

Poly? Where poly? No poly?? Give me the ability to romance both Sebille and Lohse you cowards!! so like at the end of my 2nd play through I made a save where one onf them I chose to be the new devine, made ifan sad and was generally a more sad ending- but also made me spilt with Sebille again cuz she was like "can a god mingle with us mortals?" and Im like oh shit so this is the wrong choice. So I reload my save and spread the source to everyone. and this time round it was happy again but she was still like " what happens with us is up to you" Like girl what you mean? We're on even playing field neither of us have responsibilities we're both free, what am I missing here? BUT ALSO SHE DOSENT KISS ME IN THIS ENDING?????? maybe I messed up the dialogue?? She says she wants me and love me but doesnt lean down for a kiss like my save before that or in my first game play either so I was left so confused-

another Sebille centered minor problem, after you kill her master her story kinda just ends there- Like there's nothing for her in Arx at all. And before you say it yes, we meet with Saheila when we get there, she's talking about elves wanting to rise up to start that war. And she just dismisses it and chalks it up to Saheila being insane(which you know true) but that's it? you don't want to figure out why your kin who's been through almost the same things we've been through suddenly underwent an over night change?? you aren't going to talk to the hostile elven people in arx?? People's opinion of you after killing the mother tree/ being prime scion doesn't get touched on here??? It just another one of my little disappointments in her story. She was very prominent at the start but nothing in Arx, which despite being the last chapter is still a long one. So to just have her there with nothing important to progress with her or our romance it just left me a lil bumed :/

[themostuselesspotato]

I was a very sheltered kid and didn't get to consume fandom content until a few years ago, and most of the fandoms I'm in have been over for years before I watched the content. It's really weird to experience a show in real time?? Like usually I binge something and then go and obsess over fandom content for the next month (or several), but now I have to wait for said fandom content to be made?? I wanna read fanfic about the tbb finale but I also need to give creators time to write it lol 😅

I'm just so not used to being in fandoms that are still updating/just ended that it feels weird to me ig

[rollercoasterwords]

i think a lot of people have different definitions on fetishisation which makes it harder to approach as a conversation

i’m curious how you yourself would define it?

i currently have no real standpoint on the matter but it’s a topic that i’d be interested to explore

true!! and honestly that's one of the like. issues with this style of "hot-take activism" that i think is becoming increasingly common with the growth of short-form content social media because like. if you are not willing to take the time to first explain the foundations of what you're talking about, and in your mind "fetishization" means one thing but to another person it means something entirely different, then u two could argue back and forth all day in the comments of like. a tiktok post but that conversation will never be meaningful or productive if you are literally talking about different concepts.

so! good question. my working defintion of fetishization would be the reduction of a human being to a sexual object based on a facet of their identity, such that you no longer view that facet of their identity as part of a whole and complex person. so like, in the context of this discussion about "mlm fetishization," i would consider fetishization to be when someone views gay men's homosexuality not as a complex part of their identity but rather as material for getting off, in real life. so like....someone who does not view real live gay men as whole and complex people, because they are incapable of seeing past the sex object they have made of their sexuality.

and part of the reason that i say i struggle to find like. evidence of material harm in women writing mlm fic is that. i think by and large most women who write mlm fic do view gay men as people, and don't treat them as objects of sexual fetish. like to the extent that there are women who make weird comments or maybe don't treat gay men normally, i think that issue is more down to individual instances of homophobia and ignorance than it is like. a systemic issue that causes material harm to real-life gay men.

like i mentioned in the notes on that original post, i'm reading "girls who like boys who like boys" by lucy neville right now, which does a really good job of trying to take a comprehensive look at the reasons women are drawn to sexually explicit media involving gay men. and one thing that becomes clear very quickly when reading is that women (even straight women!) are not monolithic in their attraction to mlm SEM. most women have varied and nuanced reasons for why they enjoy mlm SEM that go beyond "oh i think men being gay is hot"--most of them don't even care about the labeling of sexuality within this media, which indicates to me that the sexuality in and of itself is not an object of fetish. and to the extent that most women do seek out mlm SEM because they think men being gay is hot, it's not a matter of "i think men being gay is hot and that their homosexuality is only relevant in the context of getting me off." does that make sense?

like--real quick, i'll give an example with lesbianism. because i see people saying all the time "it's weird when men watch wlw porn so it's weird when women write mlm!!" which. drives me up the fucking wall for a number of reasons BUT. what i will say about it now is that there is nothing inherently wrong with men getting off to sexually explicit content involving two women. genuinely--there is nothing wrong with men experiencing sexual attraction to women and finding it hot to see two women together and getting off to it. the problem is the context of patriarchy in which this is taking place, which leads men to objectify and dehumanize women on a systemic level, in a way that causes material harm and leads to fetishization. the problem is that many men who watch lesbian porn do not view lesbian relationships or sexuality as a valid and complex identity that exists independent of their arousal. (also, watching porn and writing sexually explicit fic are. two very different things in the first place).

at the end of the day, sexual attraction and arousal are not inherently evil things to experience, and getting off to something is not in and of itself the same thing as objectifying it. the problem is when this starts to affect the way you treat people in real life, and if you getting off to something makes you incapable of viewing that thing as something that exists outside the context of you getting off. that, to me, is what fetishization is.

[serendipitous-mage]

not that ive had anything near a 'normal' year in well over a decade but thinkin about how proper fukt and hectic thiis one has been

beginning of year was working for one of the most insane managers/companys i ever have

middle of march i put in my two weeks, because in addition to a Lot of other reasons that i had already been struggling to not leave over, my manager straight up DOXXED a coworker(/their family member) on linkedin--and on the company linkedin as well no less--and some other drama that was just the last straw and i wanted some scrap of sanity back and to avoid that happening to me

end of march, hear that its not just possible but likely current roommate is moving, and while i *couldlve* gone with, it was an area i didnt want to go to

uncertainty from march-august, and not much progress made on job apps in that time because that is Such a huge/panic inducing process for me anyway without being unsure of living situation on top of it

roommate moving confirmed, i try and find someone who could take their spot where i already was but a lot of my friends had literally *just* moved in the last few months, so missed my chances

move in with some friends who already have so little space and money and now they have to share with me

finally hear about a job in like november

the job changes .. many times. first its a call center gig for this company, then they call back with 'the same thing but for a slightly different thing under the same parent company', and it actually does sound a little less hellish, so i go with that. all of the paperwork/emails i receive have the name of the first company on them, but when i asked about it they said it was just because of the parent company thing it was all good. they have me pick a schedule... all of the options are 40 hours, i had not asked too many specifics because i dont have the luxury of being picky rn, but i have never worked full time and am already always exhausted and cant stay awake all day, so this is going to be absolute hell. also there are 12 days where additional hours are Required, 4 of which i wouldve otherwise had off

i pick a schedule. they write back that some things changed here are some other schedules to pick from, i pick a new schedule. when we had initially talked on the phone for the first company i was told a setup day end of november and starting in december, but because of returning people/potentially from moving to the other, now im not starting until the end of january, which fucking sucks because ive been at $0 and owing friends for covering me for months. get a call saying some people dropped out, do i want to start a week earlier? yes ofc i do i need the money. get a call again saying the same thing, so now im starting the beginning of january instead.

equipment arrives: it is.....one small box......with the tiniest dinkiest little laptop with a whole entire one USB port and one USB-C port...great, perfect, this will work so well considering my monitor is VGA, and all three of my headset, mouse, and keyboard are USB connections. i do happen to have a USB to USB-C adapter for other things, but thats still only 2 of the 4 things i need plugged in. i tell them this, they through a series of CC'ing other people into the email find someone who knows where my Other equipment is. theyve sent me another monitor that has a USB-C connection and a (extremely chintzy) USB splitter. ok, technically everything can be plugged in now, whatever

we have a setup teams meeting: the lady running it mentions they just wana make sure our mics/cam work and then we can have them off for the meeting, 'because youre going to need both of them right? :)'. no. no i had bETTER not need both of them you are NOT having me ON FUCKING CAMERA for 40+HOURS A WEEK i will SCREAM.

but then. oh, oh boy howdy, and then...

the meeting was for both of the roles id been offered because the initial setup for both is the same, people for both the assignments are present. last i knew, i was on company B. i already have 15 pages of notes for company B from things i could find on the website and in manuals because i am an anxious bitch and wanted to make the first few weeks as painless as possible for me, im not confident, but i do have a fairly decent start and a basis understanding of the software already, so im a little less nervous about it

then the lady mentions...that....if youre with company A, you were sent one monitor, and if youre with company B...you were sent 2...

......i look up at my Singular monitor

and type in chat like 'hiiii um, so im with company B but was only sent the one monitor ?'

lady has someone else present double check my assignment

and they send

"youre with company A :)" legitimately with a smiley face

and when i tell you i am losing my shit-

15 pages of notes useless. company A is going to be higher call volumes and for a more generalized people which means more stupid questions and more confused customers. from what i can find on the website, their only support option seems to be phones, so there isnt even the possibility of having emails or chats which i Greatly prefer to phone calls, the other one had email at least. NONE of the emails they sent me said ANYTHING about the change, i can only assume it was one of the phone calls where they asked if i wanted to move up a week in the schedule, but it was NOT made clear i was changing anything other than the start date, just "theres an opening in the other class", and in the follow-up emails each time they only said "Thanks for your quick move to this new schedule" and "I'm excited for your earlier start date!", which does NOT imply i have been switched assignments

yall..im devastated lmao. i can never just Find A Job it always has to be some fucking batshit insane garbage like this

i start next week and im ......not excited to say the least ;w;

it only goes until april...but its going to be 40+ hour weeks (and i *doubt* any overtime pay, its technically a contractor role), on exclusively phone support (i fucking hate phones they make me mad anxious), i still havent been able to get solid notes for this one because their website is fucking unhinged and its taking me Forever to dig through it all, the laptop is tiny asf and there is no space in the shared room ive got rn to set it up in a way thats good at a desk or something im probably going to be sitting on the edge of the bed and using my shelf as a table which i Know from experience is going to kill my back and neck esp with the longer hours, they potentially want my camera on while working which is Not happening i might get fired for that even if i can keep up with the hours, and if i do get fired or quit? this job came through a recruiting agency which had got me one of my last remote jobs, and i dont think theyd be too quick to help me find something else if this one ends badly, so im really kind of forced to continue even if i didnt have such a pressing need for income asap

and all of this.. for a whole entire $16/hr :'D

happy fucking new years ;_;

[befuddled-calico-whump]

what kind of rules does the fleet have surrounding interrogations? and maybe someone could find some loopholes to exploit?

I tried to base Fleet rules around irl military laws (mostly the US, since I'm more familiar with it)

Prisoners have rights and outright torture is prohibited (of course there are people, especially within the Fleet, who break these rules when it's convenient). However, 'persuasive measures', are a grayer area. (aka, methods that wouldn't necessarily cause permanent damage: solitary, waterboarding, etc)

The Arrow detachment from Wes' bad day arc was definitely not playing by the rules as far as treatment of detainees, but there's enough corruption within the Fleet that they could've gotten away with it if Wes hadn't escaped

The main issue with Wes isn't entirely the limits on interrogation, it's also the fact that he's hella stubborn and really hates the Fleet, to the point that he's willing to suffer in order to spite them lol

[homunculusalphonse]

something i remembered... back in the day, ppl hated rigby bc he didn't return eileen's feelings at first. i'd have to rewatch the show, but apparently rigby mainly avoided her, not sure if rudely or not.

regardless, i realize now, that is such a stupid reason to dislike a character. i think people felt the same about margaret not liking mordecai back in the first seasons (worse, she was called a whore for having many other boyfriends instead of dating mordecai).

like dude, you can't control people's feelings. nobody should feel bad for not returning someone's feelings, even if said someone is a good person. i know most romances don't explore the love interest's perspective, but it should matter, too!

and yeah, this is about fictional characters, but in real life a lot of ppl - especially women - are seen as mean or cruel for not liking the "nice" person (or guy) back. that, and ppl who aren't interested in a romantic relationship with anyone are seen as unhappy and lonely.

we're told that we'll only be fulfilled once we enter a romantic relationship. in other words, we have to find our soulmate, someone who'll stay with us for the rest of our lives. and all of this is still reinforced by the media we consume: we expect high school crushes to be the only true love; sometimes even young children are told they'll marry their crush one day. if we (mostly women) have too many romantic relationships, we haven't found the "right" person yet, or our relationships aren't healthy. and again, if we don't want to be with anyone romantically, we'll be unhappy forever, or maybe one day we'll change our minds.

what i'm saying is, stop demanding ppl to be in romantic relationships with someone they don't feel anything for. stop demanding ppl to be in romantic relationships PERIOD. stop making "friendzone" jokes or memes. stop hating on love interests who are uninterested in the main character. stop waiting for your unrequited crush to return your feelings, because they likely won't, and they're not a bad person for it. just... respect them. please.

[itsallyscorner]

At Fault | MV1

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

summary: Max invites his ex to a gp and upsets you. Soft and stubborn Max, but he’s a cutie. A mix between angst and fluff, but mostly fluff towards the end. Lots of reader just ranting. Plus a little cameo from the Ferrari WAGs <3.

warnings: Does Kelly count as a warning? Kinda of toxic, I’m not really sure? But who actually likes seeing their boyfriend’s ex girlfriend??

author’s note: Italics are flashbacks! This turned out longer than expected, but I hope you guys like it! It’s also been a while since I’ve written fics, so it there are any errors pls ignore them😭

The tension in the car was thick. So thick, Max believed he could cut it with a knife.

Your arms were crossed as you stared out the window while Max glanced at you wearily every other second. Thankfully, there were only three of you in the car. You and Max in the backseat, and the driver in front being separated by a divider. Though, Max was sure the driver was able to hear the current disagreement between you and him.

Max fidgeted with the lanyard of his paddock pass and stared at the side of your face. He knew he had upset you and honestly you had every right to be. You were biting the inside of your cheek in frustration trying to keep your emotions at bay. As much as you wanted to argue with Max about how you disagreed with his actions, he was due to race in a couple of hours and you didn’t want to add any more stress on his shoulders.

But Max wanted to talk about this now while you were both alone.

“Schatje, are you really mad?” Max asked quietly, leaning closer to you and trying to get you to face him. He truly didn’t mean to dampen your mood before the race. Most importantly, he didn’t like that he was the reason for you being upset. Your brows furrowed ever so slightly and a faint pout was on your lips, both indications that you were in fact not happy with him.

“Yes, Max, I am mad.” You answered, your voice trembling a bit. You had finally turned away from the window and were looking at him. Max felt a pang of guilt in his heart once he saw the look in your eyes. They weren’t glaring at him with the heat of anger, but they were soft and glossy, you were hurt—he hurt you.

Max cautiously reached out for your hand and tangled your fingers together, though your hand felt limp, like you didn’t want to hold his hand at all.

“I told you the truth.” Max said, leaning his head down trying to catch your eyes again. You took in a deep breath before turning to fully face him.

“Yes Max, you did and I absolutely appreciate it. I really do.” You began, grasping his hand between yours. “But that doesn’t make up for that fact that you’ve had this planned out for nearly a month and only told me thirty minutes ago!” You argued.

Thirty minutes ago, before your ride to the paddock can pick you guys up, Max had revealed that his ex-girlfriend, Kelly, and her daughter would be at the garage to watch the race. When you asked how they got passes to the garage, he shared that he had flown them out and provided them with passes for the weekend.

“So she’s been here all weekend?” You questioned him, arms crossed and a brow raised at him. The Italian heat felt even ten times worse as you grew frustrated with your boyfriend.

“Yeah, but they were at the Paddock Club, they’re going to watch the race from the garage though.” Max shrugged, as if it were not a big deal. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder and grasped your hand in his free one.

You couldn’t help the feeling of insecurity seeping into your bones. Kelly was rich and gorgeous, she was a model, and you weren’t. You had a normal job that offered you stability, paid you good money, and you knew how to clean up nice. However, you were no where near her level of anything or any of the other WAGs at that.

“You’ve known this whole time that she was here?” You asked quietly, your brows furrowed at him. You hated that you kept asking him questions, it was like you were interrogating him.

Max looked down at you, confusion etched on his face, “I did, schatje. I flew them out and got them some paddock passes.” You acted before you could speak, and shook your head at him, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Your boyfriend was one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, however, many people took that as a sign to take advantage of him. While it took him longer to realize it, you noticed it instantly.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset though, I told you the truth, it’s not like I’m doing anything with her.” Max defended himself, his hands wildly moving around. “She reached out telling me that P missed me and wanted to come to a race, it’s not for her, it’s for Penelope.”

“I understand that Max and as harsh as this sounds, Penelope isn’t your responsibility. I get that you helped raise her, but you guys broke up, you don’t need to provide for her anymore.” You threw a hand in the air, emphasizing your point. “Kelly’s fully capable of flying herself out and buying tickets to a race weekend.”

“I was just being nice.” Max raised his voice, also growing frustrated with the situation.

“And she’s still using you!” You fumed, tears welled in the corner of your eyes. “How many times does she have to use you for you to realize it? You guys broke up and she still manages to get what she wants out of you! Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk in and see her there?” You tried to reason with him. While many of his fans didn’t approve of Kelly, you knew Twitter would have a field day clowning you when they find out Kelly was present in the garage. Social media was never always a nice place and you’ve learned to ignore it, but that didn’t mean it stopped the hate from happening.

Max ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“This is ridiculous.” He muttered under his breath, you scoffed and leaned back into your seat, staring at the window again.

“Do you not trust me?” Max asked forcibly, staring at the side of your head again. You let out a defeated sigh and turn your head to look at him, “I do trust you, Max.”

Max’s shoulders slouched as he leaned on the seat sideways, his body fully turned to you.

“Then why do you not trust me with this?” He pushed, nudging your knee with his, trying to get an answer out of you. He knew he was at fault and he just wanted to make it right.

“I don’t trust her.” You simply answered, feeling done with the conversation. The car turned, nearing the entrance of the paddock. You sniffled as you untucked your hair from behind your ears, removing your sunglasses from the top of your head.

“You don’t have to worry about her, schatje. I want you not her, there’s a reason why we broke up.” Max reassured, trying to ease the tension between the two of you.

The car came to a halt, a knock came from the driver, indicating that you guys arrived at the paddock. Before you could leave, you turned to Max and said, “Yet, she’s still here.”

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Entering the paddock was always a frenzy. The moment you stepped out the car, fans were quick to recognize you, knowing that one of their favorite drivers were right behind you. You slid your sunglasses on and smoothed out the white maxi dress you wore. Max followed in suit and flashed a smile at the fans.

Shouldering his bag, he held his hand out to you, “I know you’re upset, but can I please hold your hand?”

You nodded and entangled your fingers with his. The two of you began your walk into the paddock hand in hand, as fans screamed and waved at Max. He gave your hand a squeeze before guiding you guys to some of the barricades and signing a few things for the fans.

After you guys scanned your passes, Max led you guys to the Red Bull garage. However, you came to a halt. Max was quick to look back at you, “You okay?”

“Yeah—I’m gonna meet up with Alex and Rebecca, if that’s okay? We were planning on seeing each other before the race.” You tell him. A small pout formed on Max’s lips, “Oh, okay, I’ll drop you off.” He offered, still holding your hand.

You and the girls decided to meet up at the Paddock Club. In front of the entrance, Max stood in front of you.

“You’ll come to the garage to watch, right? I need you there.” He asked quietly, so that people passing by cannot hear your conversation.

You nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be there before you’re in the car.”

Max mirrored your actions, “Okay, I love you.” He pulled you in by the waist and pressed a kiss onto your forehead. You squeezed his waist in response, “I love you too.”

Max watched as you entered the building, huffing to himself, while he watched you walk further and further into the building.

Placing your sunglasses above your head, you scan the room until you see one of the girls, Alex was the first to spot you, standing in her spot and waving at you to come over.

“Coucou mon amour!” She greeted you, (Hello, my love!) immediately wrapping you in a hug. You squeal as she squeezed you, “Helloo!” You giggled. You go to greet Rebecca, who is immediately giving you a knowing look. Being the older one amongst the three of you, she was often looked up to as the older sister.

She wrapped an arm around you and smoothed your back, “What’s wrong?” She asked while you got situated in the chair beside her.

You shook your head, “It’s just Max.”

Rebecca grabbed the bottle of champagne on the table and poured some into a flute glass. She offered you the glass, “Thank you, I needed this.”

She smiled watching you take a long sip from the glass, “Oh honey, I know.”

Alex pouted and nudged your foot with hers, “What happened with Max?”

“He invited Kelly to watch the race at the garage today.” You bluntly shared, slumping yourself in your chair.

Rebecca’s eyes widened, “Shut up.”

You raised a brow at her, “Oh, I didn’t even get to the kicker yet.”

Alex’s brows raised, “Which is?”

“He flew her out—he fucking flew her out and gave her tickets for the entire weekend.” You revealed through gritted teeth, still being aware of your surroundings. Rebecca cursed under her breath as Alex took your glass and refilled it with champagne.

Grabbing the glass, you continued, “She’s literally been here all weekend and he only told me this morning. I just don’t get it, they broke up, I don’t know why he’s still so concerned about her.” You took another long sip of champagne,

“What was the reason why?” Rebecca asked you.

“Apparently Penelope missed him—which I can believe, but did he really have to do all the providing when she can financially support herself? I get that he was trying to be nice, but still.” You grunt, fiddling with your glass.

Alex comfortingly rubbed your arm, “No, I get it, if Charles did the same thing with his ex, I’d also be upset.”

“I literally told him that she’s using him once again.” You threw your hands up. “If he wants her to be there so much, he might as well just get back with her. Like—am I crazy for losing my mind at the fact they were in contact with each other, even if it wasn’t in a romantic sense?”

Rebecca shook her head, “No, your feelings are absolutely valid. You’re just concerned and it obviously caught you off guard. He shouldn’t have been texting his ex in the first place.”

You groaned and held your head in your hands, “I hate feeling like this, it makes me question if he actually wants to be with me or not.”

Rebecca held her finger up, “I’m gonna stop you right there.” Placing her hand on your shoulder she says, “Max might be acting very stupid right now, but one thing I know for sure is that Max loves you and absolutely adores you. Without a doubt.”

Alex nodded, agreeing with Rebecca, “Like have you seen the way he looks at you? He literally worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure he’s beating himself up right now for doing what he did.”

“He loves you, (y/n), everyone who’s seen you guys together knows it. I don’t think he’d put himself in this kind of position on purpose, you’ve got that man wrapped around your finger, babe.” Rebecca reassured you, throwing her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into another hug.

“Come on cheer up, who cares if she’s in the garage today? You’re the one he’s gonna be going home with tonight.” You laughed shaking your head at her teasing.

“Hey! Tonight and every single night!” Alex pointed out raising her glass at you.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Two hours. It’s been two hours since Max has dropped you off at the Paddock Club and he still hasn’t heard back from you. He’s been distracted all day. During a meeting with Christian and some of the engineers, he couldn’t help but constantly check for a text from you, earning himself a scolding from the team principal. Checo and a couple of people from the team tried talking to him, but he wasn’t paying attention. His eyes wandered wondering when you would enter the garage.

He did in fact see Kelly and P—obviously he was expecting to see them since he invited them, but all he felt while talking to them was guilt. Guilty because he remembered the look of hurt and betrayal in your eyes and how he was the reason behind it. He hated it, he felt grimy, and dirty for going behind your back and texting Kelly. Not even ten minutes into catching up with the mother and daughter, Max realized that you were in fact correct. Kelly had used him again, instantly making advances on him despite knowing he was happily taken. But for the sake of P, Max made sure to be friendly though kept his distance to not feed into her mother’s schemes.

It was nearing lights out and you were still not in the garage. He had gone through his warm ups with Bradley, had his fireproofs and suit on, and even laced up his shoes. Still, no sight of you whatsoever in the garage. He was beginning to worry about you, sending you a couple of messages to your phone.

The car was due to be on the grid and there was about half an hour left till lights out. Max looked around the bustling garage, checking to see if you had snuck in without him seeing, though to no avail, you still weren’t there.

“Max…Max…Max?” GP tried to get Max’s attention. Snapping a finger in front of the driver’s face, Max’s eyes flickered over to his race engineer.

“What do you want now?” Max groaned, throwing his head back. To onlookers, it looked like a typical interaction between Max and GP. Though, GP felt like he was babysitting a child whose attention span couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a few seconds.

“Mate, I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes.” GP claimed. Choosing to ignore the information he had just “briefed” Max on, he decided to be a friend.

“Where’s your head at?” GP asked Max. The Dutch man sighed, leaning against one of the storage units in the garage.

“I messed up with (y/n). I did something and it was my fault, I know it was. But she’s not happy with me at the moment and I just want to make it right.” Max summarized, not sharing any more details to protect the privacy of your relationship.

GP motioned towards Kelly who was talking to one of the other influencers in the garage, “Does it have to deal with that?”

“Unfortunately.” Max mumbled, crossing his arms and choosing to stare at the floor.

GP took a minute to stare at his driver. Max was deflated, he wasn’t as hyped for the race or over explaining some random fact about god knows what. Instead, Max kept to himself, greeting people when he had to and communicating with his team prior to the race. Other than that, Max chose to stare at his phone and look longingly outside the garage.

“Listen, I don’t know what exactly went down. But I’ve seen you with (y/n) and she clearly makes you happy, we’ve all see how lively you are with her around. You’ve got a lot of groveling to do bud, but it’ll be worth it.” GP advised, clapping Max on the back to wake him up.

“She’ll always be worth it.” Max quietly said, taking another glimpse at his phone. Only to be met with his wallpaper of you and him, with no notifications.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

Christian Horner stared at his monitor at the pit wall watching as drivers and their teams gathered on the grid. He saw Checo by his car, taking a few sips of water before the race. When the camera panned to Max’s Red Bull, the driver was no where to be seen. Sparing him a second of wondering where his driver was, the camera cut to the garage where Max stood, race suit at his waist, looking no where near ready to participate in the race.

“Why is Max not in the car?” He turned to GP, stress evident on his face. GP turned in his seat and looked back into the garage to see Max pacing. Cursing under his breath, he excused himself from Christian and rushed to Max.

“Max, the race is literally about to start!”

Max stops his pacing and places his hands at his hips, “I need my girlfriend.”

“What?” Bradley and GP both stuttered out. Max deadpanned at the two men in front of him.

“(Y/n), I need to see her before the race.” Max demanded. Bradley pinched the bridge of his nose, “Max, she’ll be here after the race, you’ll be fine.” He pushed the balaclava towards Max’s chest, who simply let the mask fall at his feet.

GP sighed at Max, before calling one of the Red Bull employees.

“Please send out a search for (y/n), Max is refusing to get in the car.” He whispered to the intern. The girl looked at him confusingly but nodded and set out the garage.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

You rushed as best as you could in kitten heels towards the Red Bull garage. You were supposed to be at the garage at least half an hour ago. You and the girls got caught up catching up with each other’s lives that none of you realized it was getting close to lights out. It truly was a funny sight, the three of you rushing out of the Paddock Club and running through the paddock like a bunch of maniacs.

“(Y/n)!” You heard someone yell. You stopped in your steps and looked around, only to see a girl dressed in Red Bull uniform. You recognized her, you believed her name was Nicole and was an intern for the team this season.

“Hey! Is Max on the grid already?” You approached her, a little sad that you missed seeing him before the race.

“No, he’s actually waiting for you. They’re sending out a search for you because he’s refusing to get in the car.” Nicole explained, placing a gentle hand on your back and guiding you through the crowd of fans and towards the garage.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

GP released a sigh of relief once he saw you enter the garage. He shoved Max’s shoulder to avert his attention to you.

“What—oh,” Max began, only to stop himself and rush towards you. You met him half way, placing a hand on his elbow.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to stay there for too long.” You quickly apologized. Max shook his head, “I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re here.”

Your brows furrowed at him, “Why are you here? Why aren’t you in the car yet?”

Max placed both his hands on your waist with a faint blush on his cheeks, “I need my goodluck kiss.”

You paused your actions, “You’re kidding me. Max, the race is about to start in five minutes!” You scolded your boyfriend.

“Please, schatje.” He pleaded, leaning closer towards you. Other team members and guests watched the both of you, the scene in front of them peaking their interests.

You gazed up at his stormy eyes, giving in because you knew he was stubborn and wouldn’t stop until he got his way. Plus, the team would hate you if you lowered their chances of scoring points this weekend.

“Just because I kiss you doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you anymore.” You clarified quietly. His forehead nodded against yours, “I know schatje. I promise to make it up to you, I really do.”

A small smile forms on your lips, “I know, Maxie.”

Max takes that as his sign to crash his lips onto yours. One of his hands support the back of your neck while the other rests on your lower back. You smile against his lips, pulling back and placing a peck right above the small mole on his upper lip.

“I love you.” You whispered to him.

“I love you too.” He whispered back. Before you can fully pull away from him he quickly adds, “I’m serious about my promise.”

“I know, baby.” You squeeze him comfortingly. “Now get out there and win the race. Stay safe.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead as both you and GP ushered him towards his gear that’s been waiting to be put on.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

A man of his word, Max won the race. With at least a five second gap between him and Lando, your boy was top step yet once again. As much as he won, the thrill of seeing him win and crossing the finish line never got old. You celebrated every win of his as if it were his first. You’d always be proud of him, whether he got pole or not.

Many of the engineers and members of the team began to rush towards the grid, eager to greet Max once he got out the car.

Looking around, you suddenly make eye contact with Kelly, who seemed to have been sizing you up. You weren’t really sure what look was on her face, but the hints of a snarl were on her lips. With her nose stuck up in the air, you watched as she carried her daughter and began to follow the rest of the team.

“Don’t mind her. You’re the one he wants to see when he gets out that car.” A voice said from beside you. You jumped, coming face to face with Christian. Your eyes widened at your boyfriend’s boss. Prior to the race, he was informed of the search party the entire team had for you to get Max in the car. While he was annoyed earlier, he thought it was rather cute that Max was so fond of you.

“You know, he’s never begged her for a good luck kiss.” Said Christian, a knowing look on his features. “You on the other hand—he can’t seem to function whenever you’re not around.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was gonna put that much of a fight earlier today.” You apologized, feeling a bit flustered. “He’s a bit stubborn sometimes.” You added, to which Christian chuckled at.

“Oh, I know. Max and I have worked together for years.” He stated. He glanced out the garage and motioned towards it, “C’mon now, I’m sure he’s already looking for you.”

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

You make your way through the crowd of Red Bull members, many of them recognizing you and helping you squeeze through till you were at the very front of the barricade.

Max was already out, helmet in his hand, while his other embraced GP and a couple other engineers. You watched as he high-fived Penelope, barely sparing a glance at her mother. A little burst of pride went off in your stomach, you couldn’t help it.

His blue orbs scanned the crowd of red and blue, looking for you. You yell his name, his eyes immediately finding yours. A smile breaks out on his face as he rushed over to you, dropping his helmet in the process. Despite the barricade between you two, he wraps both his arms tightly around you, lifting you off the ground.

“Max!” You squealed, your arms wrapping around his neck. His large hand found your cheek, slightly pulling you away from his neck so he can connect his lips with yours. Naturally, your lips moulded perfectly against his moving in synch. The team erupted in cheers around you.

“I’m so proud of you!” You tell him once your lips separate.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He grins, gently pinching your bottom lip between his pointer finger and thumb.

He couldn’t stay long, being told that he had to get to the podium for the trophy ceremony.

“I’ll see you after the podium, schatje!” He yelled with a wink over his shoulder, causing a blush to form on your cheeks.

ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹

The ceremony and the media tent took a while, you finally got to see Max an hour later. You were sitting in his driver’s room, when he bursted through the door already looking for you.

You stood up, smiling at him, “Hey.”

He mirrors your smile. Placing the trophy on the couch he opens his arms for you. You walk into the comfort of his hold, burying your head into the crook of his neck and wrapping your arms around his torso.

Finally it was just the two of you.

“I’m sorry.” You said, though it came out muffled against his skin. Max’s hands stopped the circular motions they were rubbing on your back.

“For what?”

You pulled back looking at him, “I overreacted about the whole Kelly thing. I should’ve taken your word for it.”

Max immediately shook his head, disagreeing with you. “No, you were absolutely right about her. I should’ve listened to you from the beginning. The moment I said hi to them she was already trying to come onto me—I avoided her by the way, I just entertained P.”

“I’m also sorry for what I said about P. I was in the wrong for that comment.” You said, a small grimace on your face when you remembered the off hand comment you made about the poor child.

Max chuckled, “Schatje, seriously, it’s okay.”

His calloused hands were rough against the soft skin of your face. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cradled your jaw in his hand.

“I may have a soft spot for P, but they’re in my past. You’re my future, (y/n). The future that I only want and see myself in.” Max admitted. Your eyes gleamed at him, “You’re the future I want too, Maxie.”

“Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easily. You’re stuck with me.” He joked, squeezing your cheeks.

“I love you. So much. I know it seemed like I didn’t trust you today, but I want you to know that I do. I fully trust you with my life and I mean it.” You said, your fingers playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck.

Max nodded, “I believe you. I love you too.”

The two of you basked in the silence and comfort of being in each others arms. Max was the first one to break the silence, “You don’t have plans after this right?”

You hummed against his neck, “Besides celebrating your win, nothing. Why?”

“Because I’m taking you out on a date.” Max proudly announced, a goofy smile on his lips.

“Don’t you wanna celebrate with the team?” You asked him. Max shook his head, “Nope, the only person I want to celebrate with tonight is you.”

You giggled at Max’s antics, “Whatever you say, Champ.”

[blackkatdraws2]

[Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint] 5 years of waiting for Han Myungoh to reappear in the manhwa only for him to be changed into a completely new person. Disappointment.

[NOTE: I don't have anything against people who like Han Myungoh's Demon Earl design.] This will be me ranting/venting about Han Myungoh's new design. Don't get me wrong, I still like Han Myungoh. I love him a lot, I'm just letting out my frustration.

-------

"There were many small wrinkles on Han Myungoh’s face. Moreover, his whole skin was blackened. Putting aside the wrinkles, the skin discoloration was a sign of a species variation. The longer I looked, the more I could see the old face. Still, many human traces were missing and it was hard to know without looking closely." - chapter 204, Unidentified Wall

-------

Getting this out of the way before I start: I know that the manhwa design is accurate to the novel description, I know that there are many technical reasons why his design in the manhwa differs from merch/official art/etc., and I'M NOT HATING ON HAN MYUNGOH'S NEW DESIGN.

Okay.

I'm sad at the manhwa version of Han Myungoh's demon form.

Particularly, I'm upset since I doubt they'd make such a drastic change with any of the other KDJ Co. members. [There's Kim Dokja's demon form, but even then I could still tell that it's Kim Dokja, unlike with Han Myungoh.]

I knew he was gonna look different but something this drastic makes me feel distressed. Han Myungoh was the first, and currently still the only comfort character I have in my life, which is surprising since I never expected to even have a comfort character. Loved him in the novel, loved him even more when he was finally drawn by artists, then the manhwa adaptation trailer dropped and I was PUMPED.

I think what really pisses me off even more is that there's barely anything about him in the first place. I live off of scraps. I really only read the manhwa for him if I'm being honest, I prefer the novel ORV. I've waited for so long for him to finally appear in future chapters again, and when he does come back, he's completely unrecognizable!

It's not even the fact that HMO got redesigned, it's the fact that he looks like a completely different character! What happened?! That's not him, who is that?!

Like, just put yourself in my shoes for a second. Imagine Yoo Joonhyuk disappearing for the entirety of the manhwa adaptation and then when his long awaited comeback is here, he suddenly has long white hair, blue eyes, a chiseled jawline and a completely different outfit, like- you see where I'm coming from, right?!

I'm genuinely so distraught over this lmao, like /gen /extremely neg.

With that out of the way, I've processed this loss for a long time now and I've accepted the fact that I'll never see "Han Myungoh" in the manhwa ever again. I will love both designs even if I favor one more than the other, because it's Han Myungoh and I love Han Myungoh. I'll love him even if he was a worm.

[kleftiko]

❦ CHERRY SMOKE CLOUDS

“upon learning that your new plug is a virgin, you come up with a new way to pay for your weed”

cw: slight dubcon (sex under the influence), virginity loss (choso), car sex, corruption kink, unprotected sex, blowjobs

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

You met Choso through your little sister's friend.

Without knowing Megumi and Yuji were over, you started ranting to Nobara about how your plug was moving across the country, and it was a travesty. When she gave you edibles, she packed them in cute little heart baggies, and you were never gonna find another one as good as her.

It wasn't until you turned the corner that you saw her and her two friends lounging on the couch.

Luckily, Yuji spoke up, telling you his brother grows and you could get from him.

That got you his number, and having known Yuji, you expected his brother to be a much more enthusiastic texter. You hardly expected one- to two-word responses, absolutely no emojis, and a period at the end of a sentence.

But if it got you what you wanted, you were fine with that.

Most transactions were made through Yuji or Nobara, and despite the lack of customer service that you got from your old plug, his stuff was good, so you couldn't complain.

Then, one day, Yuji messaged you, saying he was having a party at his place and you should come meet his brother. You didn't see why not, so you and Nobara got dressed up together and went.

It was unsurprising that there were a lot of people—Yuji loved making friends, after all—so it took a minute to find him. But he had a wide smile when he saw you two, giving you hugs and telling you his brother was in the garage.

You didn't have to excuse yourself cause your sister was already gone by the time you turned back, so you made your way to the garage.

Inside, there was only one person. A taller man with longer hair who was taking stuff out of the trunk of a car, and when he turned to you, you noticed his tired eyes looking at you. He was cute.

"What?" He asked.

"Choso?" You asked, and he nodded. You smiled a bit and said, "Y/N."

A look of recognition flashed across his face.

"Yuji told me you'd be coming." He then lifted the box in his arms slightly, as if to show you the alcohol. "Leave it to my brother to think a six-pack would be enough for a party."

You couldn't help the amused hum that passed your lips as your gaze traced the strained muscles in his arms.

"Want some help?"

After the two of you brought in a couple cases of liquor, you followed him back to the garage. Besides your sister and her friends, you didn't know anyone, and you figured at least Choso would have some weed on him if nothing else.

He leaned against his car and fished a lighter out of his pocket before looking at you and holding it up as an invitation. You smiled and moved to stand in front of him as he took out a case from his other pocket, placing the joint from inside between his lips.

"You don't wanna hang out with your brother?" You asked as he lit it.

Choso just raised an eyebrow at you, blowing out the smoke slowly and drawing your eyes to his lips.

"You don't wanna hang out with your sister?" He retaliated casually, holding out the blunt for you.

With a couple puffs of your own, you shift your weight onto your other leg. Choso's soft gaze stays on you, waiting for you to continue.

"Why smoke out here?" You asked, and he shrugged.

"Not a fan of people." He explained, and you gave him a look. He shakes his head, "don't make it seem like I'm a loner; I just don't wanna hang out with my younger brother's friends."

"Not a fan of younger people?" You don't give him time to answer before you say, "pretty sure I'm younger than you."

"You're fine." It's casual in the way he says it, but it does something to you, and you end up shifting again when he hands you the blunt.

His eyes flicked down to your legs, taking notice of your movement. "Wanna sit?"

Choso patted the hood of the car beside him as an offer, and you looked at his fingers sitting on top of the metal. They were long and lanky, with prominent veins running through his hand and up his arm. It led you back to his face, which is waiting for your answer.

So you hopped on top of the hood, taking one more puff than is courteous, but Choso didn't say anything as he took it back.

It was a couple minutes of silence; the two of you smoked until it was just the filter, and Choso threw it away. You started to feel the familiar feeling of your head becoming heavier—or, you were just more aware of the weight of it—and you sank back onto your hands with contentment.

"So, were you just here for the weed?" Choso's voice was pretty monotone, but you could tell he was making a joke.

A small giggle escaped your lips as you noticed the red creeping up in his tired eyes.

"I mean, I won't say no if you wanna share another, but I think hanging out with you is fine by itself." You admitted, and he shook his head at you.

A couple blinks was all it took to remind you that he really did grow some good shit, and you grabbed the bottom of his shirt to tell him the compliment when you looked up at his face and forgot your train of thought.

Instead, you tugged on his shirt and coaxed him to stand in front of you as you tilted your head up at him.

"You don't look like what I thought you would." You drawled out.

"What'd you expect?" He prompted.

You pouted, "pink hair."

Choso let out a soft chuckle, and you almost melted at the sight of his smile. Unintentionally, you leaned closer to him, your eyes focused on the bridge of his nose, where you noticed a faint scar that ran across it. With your noses almost touching, you looked up into his eyes, admiring the way they locked onto you.

"You're hotter than I thought." You mumbled, and his eyebrows raised slightly.

Choso pulled back.

"If you think this'll get you free stuff, you're outta luck."

You giggled and let go of his shirt, leaning back onto your hands with a lazy smile.

"I'd tell you that even if you weren't my plug." You said. "Though, I'm sure a lot of your customers offer favours instead of money."

Once again, he shook his head at you, his smile mirroring yours. You let your head fall back, feeling the stretch in your neck as you stared at the ceiling.

"Wouldn't blame you, sex while high is incredible."

"I wouldn't know." He said and you snapped your head at him.

"You've never had sex after smoking?"

He raised an eyebrow at you, and you understand what he was saying.

"You've never had sex?" You clarified, and Choso shakes his head in agreement, unbothered by it.

"Never had the time." He explained, and at the back of your clouded mind, you recalled Nobara mentioning that Yuji was raised by his older brother.

You slid off the car, standing toe to toe with Choso as you looked up at him. He didn't move, and you could smell his cologne and soft hints of weed.

"Do you wanna know what it's like?" You whispered, gazing up at him through your lashes.

The thought that you could give this man everything made that small pulse of arousal that's been sitting between your legs light on fire. As you stared into Choso's eyes, a mischievous smile played on your lips. The anticipation of what you could do with him sent a rush of excitement through your body.

Instead of giving you a verbal answer, Choso bent down and attached his lips to yours.

He tasted smokey, but it didn't bother you as you brought your hands up into his messy hair. His large hands travelled down your sides and roughly pulled you closer to him. Your knee bumped between his legs, and he uttered a deep moan into your mouth.

Detaching yourself from him, you grabbed his shirt and tugged him to switch places with him, pushing his legs into the hood of his car and forcing him to sit atop it.

Your hands then moved to his jeans as you kissed him again, undoing the button and zipper as you bit his lips. Choso let out a little whine, shakey fingers grasping at your own shirt when you stuck your hand down his pants and cupped his half-hard cock. As you stroked him, you scattered kisses and bites down his neck and along his jaw, leaving nothing to catch the hisses he let out of his mouth in response to your attack. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as his breathing grew heavier. The intensity of the moment heightened as you whispered in his ear, teasing him with promises of what was to come.

Then you sank your knees onto the concrete floor between his legs, pulling down his jeans and boxers just enough to free his cock and balls, your mouth watering at the size.

As you looked up into his eyes, you gently licked his red tip and watched him shut his eyes in pleasure, his hand coming to the top of your head. Then you took him to the back of your throat, eliciting a loud and wanton moan from the man above you. Despite slapping his other hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, you felt a shiver at the noise, knowing that you were driving him wild with something so simple. With each movement of your mouth, you could feel his grip on your hair tighten, urging you to go deeper. The intensity of the moment consumed both of you as you lost yourself in the intoxicating pleasure of giving him ecstasy. His dick was slobbered with your spit, and besides the faint music coming from the house, the garage was filled with the disgusting sounds of you slurping and choking on his cock and Choso's beautiful stuttering noises of bliss.

Your eyes rolled back at the taste of him; the salty precum and weight of his dick on your tongue had you rocking your neglected pussy into your heel. When his moans and whimpers started to catch at the back of his throat, you cupped his heavy balls in your hands, gently massaging them as you continued to pleasure him. The intensity of the moment heightened as you felt his body tense and his breathing become more erratic, signalling that he was about to cum. With a mischievous smile, you increased the speed and pressure of your movements, determined to push him over the edge and make him lose control completely.

The grip on your hair tightened as he let out a guttural groan, his hips bucking uncontrollably against your touch. The raw desire in his eyes fueled your own excitement, and you revelled in the power you had over him in the moment. As he finally reached his climax, you continued to stroke him through his release, savouring the feeling of his pulse against your tongue and his cum running down your throat.

His tired eyes were glazed with lust when you popped him out and stood up. His chest was breathing heavily, but that didn't stop him from grabbing your face and pulling you into a searing kiss, licking up the drops of his cum that slipped from your lips. You moaned at his eagerness to clean his own grime from your face and ran your hands down his clothed body, fingernails scraping along his muscles as they twitched.

"Please," He begged between kisses. "Please fuck me."

You pulled away, looking at the man in front of you with hunger.

"Back seat." You commanded, and Choso listened to you.

The two of you stumbled to the car, pawing at each other as you removed your clothes. By the time you shut the door behind you, the two of you were in your underwear. Choso was hard once again as you mounted him.

Taking off your bra, his eyes locked onto your tits before eagerly going for them with his mouth. but you grabbed his hair and pulled him back. He nearly whimpered at the denial, but you were firm.

"I need to see your face when I take your virginity, baby." You told him.

Choso nodded his head and helped you two rid yourself of the last bit of clothing. Grabbing his cock, you lined it up with your soaking lips as Choso's fingers fluttered over your hips in anticipation. You looked at him, only to find his watery eyes locked on your pussy as he swallowed harshly. You were sure that if you led him on any longer, he would start crying.

"Choso," your sweet voice cooed.

When he locked eyes with yours, you sheathed yourself over his cock, watching firsthand as his mouth dropped open and his eyes rolled back as a broken moan pushed past his lips. It was filthy and erotic, and it made you lift your hips and slam back down onto him just to see his reaction again. His body trembled beneath you, his grip on your hips tightening as he surrendered to the pleasure coursing through him. The intensity of the moment fueled your own desire, igniting a primal need to dominate and explore every inch of his body.

"That feel good, baby?" You asked, knowing he couldn't answer. "Feel good to get fucked in the back of your car?"

Choso whimpered.

You leaned in closer, your breath hot against his ear, as you whispered, "You love being used like this for your first time, don't you?"

The sound of his desperate moans only fueled your attack further, pushing you to take him even harder.

"Your cock feels so good inside me, Choso." You continued to enjoy his reactive body. "so big, I don't think I can just fuck you once."

In his first bout of control, Choso grabbed the back of your head and shut you up with a kiss, hips lifting against yours in desperation.

"So fucking perfect." He managed to huff out, and you rewarded him with a squeeze of your pussy, making him lose the rhythm of his thrusts. The intensity of the moment heightened as Choso's grip tightened on your head, his kiss silencing your words. With each desperate thrust of his hips, he struggled to maintain the little bit of control he had.

He managed to gasp, overcome with the pleasure you were giving him, "You're absolutely incredible." The squeeze of your pussy caused him to lose his rhythm, further intensifying the passion between you.

You smiled wickedly and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Yea?" You asked. "Wanna cum inside me?"

It was as if a switch had been flipped. His eyes darkened with desire, and a primal growl escaped his lips. Without hesitation, he grasped your hips firmly and increased the pace, thrusting into you with an urgency that matched your own. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, and you let out your own noises of pleasure at Choso's actions.

Feeling your climax near, you dug your nails into his bare chest, urging him on. The intensity of the moment consumed both of you as you reached the peak of pleasure together, lost in a whirlwind of ecstasy. Spurts of his cum painted the inside of you, making you moan at the feeling before collapsing against him, sweaty bodies entangling. For a long moment, heavy breathing was the only sound in the hot car. As the air slowly cooled, you both basked in the afterglow.

With a satisfied smile, Choso gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face and whispered, "That was incredible."

You breathed out a laugh, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and cuddling into him.

"Yea," you agreed. "We need to smoke together more often."

[bitchykelp]

I hate that feeling of like having so many thoughts and wanting to share them with someone but knowing no ones around to share them with. And yes of course I could share them with my lovely friends but its not nearly the same as just having a person nearby to bounce the thoughts back and forth with and truly let the thoughts develop and complete themselves in a way that isn’t just my own head zero summing a conversation even starts. Like this is also why as much as i do text my friends it takes me a while to start up the texts, and normally ive gone back and forth so much in my head the conversation gets built up so much more stressfully in my head. And like i’m also only good at regularly texting like 2-3 people at most so if those few arent responding its just awful cause i’ll just be waiting. I also just want sometimes to have where i can turn my head and just have another person hanging out in my room like casually, not in a friend way too, i turn my head and see friends plenty. (tho I love my friends and will always relish more time with them)  idk im not really going for coherent rn cause im just getting thoughts out so if you read this and it seems confusing or poorly phrased, and ceratinly grammatically wrong, theres a reason. its called i do what i want, and i never know what i want. but i appreciate you reading this, boo.

[fictionalmenxyn]

Frat!rafe is the type… (NSFW and language)

Frat!rafe is the type to greet you with a dap up then kiss each knuckle to show your not a bro but his girl.

Frat!rafe is the type to keep his arm loosely around your shoulder or waist till either a guy he doesn’t know or doesn’t like gets close. Then he be gripping on to you for dear life!

Frat!rafe is the type to occasionally give you temple kisses or cheek kisses around his frat guys. But pecks on the lips around other guys. Thinking you can’t tell, but you most definitely can.

Frat!rafe is the type to hug you from behind if you’re finishing up in class or you’re both working on a project together. He’d try to get your attention while you work.

Frat!rafe is the type of show off that he’s only showing of to you. If you both play sports, best believe he’s trying his hardest to show you his skills. If he sees you watching, he’s definitely sending a wink your way or a funny yet cringy mouthing ‘call me’ and doing the phone gesture. Already knowing he’s got you.

Frat!rafe is the type to get to know your friends better, so he knows you through and through. If you’re a big person when it comes to friendships. Best believe frat!rafe is getting close to your friends and becoming their friends. Showing you he respects your friendships and your beliefs. Also showing he can be supportive on your opinions and what you want.

Frat!rafe is the type to listen to the gossip!! This guy lives for it. He definitely won’t show it. But only you can know he loves it. So your daily trips to the frat house, can also brokke gossip seshs! He’d make sure to have your favourite snacks. Favourite drink. Everything. Just so he can know what girl hooked up with what guy or who fought who.

Frat!rafe is the type to practically cradle you in his arms as he listens to how your day was. Or if you have random rants. He’s a good listener, only for you. If it was one of the boys. It’s in one ear, out the other. But for you? Talk all day, he’s got ears for you. He’d nod, occasionally brush strands of hair out of your face. Occasionally kissing your forehead. Add little comments or thoughts, sometimes questions. He was smart when it came to you. He knew you better than yourself. So he’d know when to ask questions, to keep you talking longer. He loved your voice and your thoughts.

Frat!rafe is the type to buy small gifts, knowing you didn’t do expensive (unless you do, then that’s a different story). He’d buy small trinkets or things that ‘reminded him of you’. Just an excuse to splash his cash on you. Even if it only costed five dollars. If you wanted a piece of clothing or something that you wanted but was over a ‘budget’ you had. Expect it at your sorority doorstep a week later. A personalised card on the inside. ‘Don’t even try to give me a lecture about buying you stuff, I wanted to, love you loads, baby. From RF <3’

Frat!rafe is the type to ask you if you’re okay halfway through and at the end of each ‘intimate’ sessions. ‘You alright? Didn’t go too rough on ya?’ ‘Sure? I know you like and shit, but I don’t wanna hurt you, baby…’

Frat!rafe is the type to change positions, let you finish in your favourite position. While he’ll finish in his. So neither of you could complain, but he thought it was sweet of him to be THAT thoughtful.

Frat!rafe is the type to make you finish the same amount of goals/points you scored if you play sports. Like if you scored three goals in soccer, best believe you’re having a good night.

Frat!rafe is the type to have the sloppiest yet downright best sex if he won a game in football. Just know you’re both having a good night if he wins. Just cause HE won the game, doesn’t mean you aren’t getting a treat either.

Frat!rafe is the type to give you a small peck on the lips after rough sex. Cause he feels a little bad sometimes after you ask to go harder. You asked, ok? So? He still will feel bad. Even if you enjoyed it. You’re his girl. He wants to make you feel good. Even if it’s rough. He’ll still treat you like the princess you are.

Frat!rafe is the type to take long showers with you. Both sexually and non. He just likes the warm water running over you both. He LOVES washing your hair. He loves when you use your small thumbs on his large back muscles. Groaning and loaning at the magic your fingertips hold.

Frat!rafe is the type to only come to you for medical help or massages. Go to the team’s medic? No. Go to the college’s physiotherapist? Hell no. Not when he’s got his girl training for those things. He’s her test subject. And he still benefits from it. So it’s a win-win.

Frat!rafe is the type to cuddle you. So much, it’s cute, but not funny to him. Like it’s his lifeline. Just got in his room? Get on the bed and lay there so he can lay on you. Staying the night? Cuddles. Watching movies? Cuddles. Standing there doing nothing? Cuddles from behind. This guy loves cuddles till the end of time. AND WONT ADMIT IT. EVEN IF ITS OBVIOUS.

Frat!rafe is the type to love his baby girl. Always and forever. He’ll show it in so many ways. Whatever way you want. He’ll show it. You’re his girl, his girl gets treated well. Very well..

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

The best way I can sum it up is like this: say fuck all to everything and just do it. Type up that post about Avila, sister of Leofric the Alchemist, and if you’re shy about it, do it shy. Do it scared, because that’s the only way to actually get over anything you’re awkward about. You do it, you feel awkward doing it, and then you do it again. And again, and again until you get used to it. I know that’s a very unsatisfying answer but it’s the one that works in the long-term. Sharing work as a writer is going to be a very uncomfortable process at first, but it gets easier with time and practice, I promise. Plus, this is Tumblr. People will rant about the most obscure things with zero background context, completely unprompted. To send that post about your WIP is completely normal. Hell, that’s what all writers do. You just gotta start talking about it, because no one’s gonna do it for you, and if the fear is about being judged, then let me remind you: Tumblr is fucking weird. No one minds. Hell, people are looking for more active writeblr blogs that talk about their WIPs and ramble about their characters. People wanna hear that, as hard as it is to believe. What exactly is so significant about the Alchemist? What is Avila’s dynamic with him? I’m pretty sure multiple of us want to know that. I truly think that the only way to actually start talking about what you’re working on is to just work alongside the shyness, the awkwardness, the fear, as you write up that post and publish it. Eventually you get used to it as you go, and soon enough it won’t feel awkward anymore. The only way you learn to ride a bike is if you get on the bike. The only way you learn to share is if you just start sharing. So share, and see where that takes you.

How does one begin talking about her WIPs on Tumblr? Am I supposed to just sit down and type out, "Let me tell you about Avila, sister of Leofric the Alchemist..."

I truly feel so shy and awkward talking about the stuff I'm working on, but I want to talk about the stuff I'm working on. I work so hard to pretend to be confident and outgoing, especially when I'm online, but in my heart I'm still the shy girl I was in high school. How do you guys do it? How do you feel comfortable talking about what you're working on?

[synthetickitsune]

Joshua (SVT) | Head pats comfort | 0.9k | gn!reader A/N: inspired by shua being 2 apples tall in the new vid and @hanniedream trying to end my existence every single day

“Is everything alright?” you ask Joshua and take his hand when he sighs and leans down to kiss the top of your head as a greeting.

“Had a bad day,” he murmurs, “I’ll just take a quick shower and be right back.”

Usually you’d have enough time to prepare snacks and drinks for a comfy evening on the couch turned into a safe haven. However, he is true to his words and you barely manage to pull out the pillows and blankets before he comes back. He all but pulls you down on the couch and lies down on your chest. He doesn’t give you space to argue. And since he’s already lying on top of you, you know better than to expect to move any time soon.

“That bad?” you hug him closer. He just hums and rubs his cheek on your chest.

“The new choreo is really hard,” he explains after a while, “I can’t keep up.”

“I gave it my best but it’s too fast. I’m not the only one struggling but it feels like I’m the worst,” he rants on, “Maybe I’m just not fit to be an idol.”

“You know that’s not true, Shua,” you sigh, “It keeps getting harder, so it’ll take a while to adjust.”

He makes an unconvincing sound of acknowledgement.

“You’re amazing and you’re doing well despite the hurdles,” you say, rubbing his back. He melts into your embrace, so it’s a little surprising when he starts arguing.

“You’re just saying that,” he whispers like he didn’t mean for you to hear. But you did.

“Are you calling me a liar?” You accuse.

“No no,” he startles and gets up enough to face you. His eyes are wide and there’s a worried wrinkle between his brows. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad,” you reassure, “I just wouldn’t say something I don’t mean.”

“I know,” he lies back down and hides his face into your neck.

“You can vent if you want, though,” you encourage.

At first he seems hesitant, placing a soft kiss on your neck without speaking up. That’s fine with you as well. After all, you don’t want to push him. His comfort is always your first priority. You hold him tightly, stroking up and down his spine with your other hand. At times it almost seems like he fell asleep, but even that would be alright.

“I just feel like I hit a wall,” he starts off quietly, “I don’t feel like I’m making much progress in anything. Definitely not as fast or as much as I used to when I was younger.”

“You’re right that the performances are getting harder, but I should be able to adapt, shouldn’t I? Soonyoung handles it fine,” he rambles on, sighing a little.

“Soonyoung is a beast though,” you remind him, making him chuckle.

“Yeah, but I’m still lacking behind the others too,” he confesses, no longer laughing. He sounds so discouraged you just want to do something to lift his worries, if only a little. “I’m too slow. I had a hard time with the recording too. I think I’m just, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not made for this, maybe I just got lucky that I could do this for this long and now my lack of talent is showing. Do you think I’m getting too ol-“

Joshua’s voice dies in his throat and he lifts his head to meet your eyes. 

“Why did you pat my head?” He asks confused (but at least distracted).

“Took you a while to notice,” you huff, averting your eyes, “You always do it too.”

You don’t stop though and pat his head once again, then running your fingers through his hair. Just like he does when you are upset.

“That explains less than you think,” he smiles a little.

“It’s comforting when you do it. Makes my worries seem smaller,” you mumble, only looking at him when he turns your head with his fingers under your chin. You make a surprised noise when his lips meet yours in a gentle kiss. “I just couldn’t listen to you talk like that when I know it’s not true.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” He parrots your words from earlier. 

“Yeah, Joshua, I am,” you roll your eyes, kissing him again, “So be a good boy and stop lying.”

He laughs, nodding before diving in for one more kiss. He adjusts his position so he can rest his forehead against yours without straining his neck. 

“You know I would do anything for you,” he kisses your nose this time, “I just don’t think I can do it today.”

”I’m here for you,” you remind him, “You can tell me everything and if you lie I’ll correct you.”

He laughs, shaking his head. He connects your lips again before settling down on your chest again. 

He makes you do as you promised, nuzzling closer whenever you remind him that he’s feeling down and shouldn’t take those thoughts too seriously as he shares all that’s been weighing him down. If he’s especially hesitant to admit to something, you remind him of his successes. He doesn’t like to hear about them, but still listens because he likes your voice.

And strangely, he likes it when you pat his head and run your fingers through his hair too.

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

Spies and Secrets

Summary: Natasha has never met her handler, she couldn’t give you their name or identify their face because she doesn’t know it. When she rants about this to you, her wife, you have to laugh... because you are her handler.

Word Count: 2048

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, lying in the relationship (not in a bad way, just in a spy way), but otherwise it’s just fluff!

A/N: I went back and wrote this idea since it seemed semi-popular. Hope you enjoy :)

»»————-　★　————-««

"Will you finally tell me who they are?"

"This again, Romanoff?"

"Just a first name?"

Fury sighs to make his vexation clear, but that's not enough to dissuade Natasha; she remains determined as ever in her mission and smirks boldly in the face of her exasperated boss.

"Just an initial will get me off your back," the spy continues through his silence.

Fury scoffs and Natasha knows she needs a different approach.

"If it's you, you can just say, Sir."

"Me? You must be losing your touch if you think I have the time for that, Romanoff. Should Hill be taking your next mission?"

Natasha stops and stares with faux hurt while Fury continues on, grinning to his own amusement. He wasn't going to let her keep the upper hand for long.

"If you want to know, ask them yourself!" Fury calls over his shoulder, "Mission debrief. C12-2. 10 minutes. They won't tell you though; above your clearance!"

Natasha groans. As much as she hadn't expected a substantial answer from Fury – she'd been asking him the same question for years – she thought she might be getting somewhere, but no matter which trick she tries, Fury doesn't budge.

On top of that, he'd reminded her that it wasn't home time yet, her mission isn't over until she's briefed her mysterious handler. So Natasha sighs and makes her way to the conference room, still wondering why only her handler chose to shroud themself in mystery. All the other agents meet theirs directly, while Natasha sits in a room alone, waiting for a shadowy silhouette to call in.

The first few years went by without a comment – it wasn't her place to ask – but as she rose the ranks and found her role, her handler, too, remained just above her clearance. Even now, as one of the highest ranking agents, her handler was higher still. Curiosity built like a dripping tap; manageable and menial to start, only to provoke greater displeasure the longer it went on.

"Hi Agent!" the disembodied voice crackles through the speakers. That's the other thing driving Natasha towards irritation, her handler's tone. It's nothing like Fury's commanding orations. No, her handler speaks with an eagerness and informality reminiscent of a junior agent meeting their hero, rather than the commanding officer that they are, and have been, since Natasha first joined SHIELD almost a decade ago.

"Officer." Natasha replies. She had never been told her handler's surname, or even a title she could use to address them. Any attempts she made to learn had been properly shut down, forcing her to stick with the appellation of Case Officer.

"Always so formal," her handler laughs. "As far as I'm aware, the mission was successful, so what's got you so grumpy today?" they continue, noticing an uncharacteristic clarity to Natasha's mood that day.

"If you told me your name, I wouldn't have to be so formal, would I?" the spy snaps back. "And I'm not grumpy."

"Natasha, we've worked together for nearly 10 years now. I know when you're grumpy, and I can throw in an educated guess that my identity is the cause?"

"I've spent my life working in secret," Natasha shrugs, then pauses in search of the right words. "I'm well accustomed to dubious legalities and taking orders from the shadows. I'm also well aware that I would be a risk to security from the moment I joined until I gained the trust of this organisation, so I understood your secrecy."

Natasha stops again, noticing the silhouette begin to fidget; whether out of boredom or discomfort, the assassin can tell the time is right to make her final argument.

"We've worked together on hundreds of missions over this past decade, enough for you to know every detail of my life and mind, while I still know nothing about you. Have you thought about how that might hurt, officer? because it does! to believe I still haven't gained your trust after all this time. That hurts."

The room stills to a silence as fragile as Natasha felt. Her handler's reaction would dictate the situation; any information given could redefine the relationship between the two spies, just as another brush off would leave Natasha spiralling further into this curiosity.

A sigh finally echoes through the speakers; its long pause circling the sole inhabitant of the room. "It's above your clearance," the voice admits. Natasha slumps; she should have known better. "But-" The speed at which Natasha perks up draws out a small chuckle from her handler, before they continue with an audible smile, "I'll talk to Fury. See what I can reveal."

Natasha settles in her seat, unable to keep the broad smile from her face. "I do trust you, Romanoff, I hope you know that… I just don't think I'll be who you expect."

As a trained spy, Natasha wouldn't let that last line slide, immediately thinking of its hidden meaning. But before she can ask further questions, her handler clears their throat. "I think it's time we actually start the mission debrief."

»»————-　★　————-««

Natasha can't wait for the meeting to end. She understands the need – giving her side of the story, answering questions, sharing the intelligence she'd gained – but it drags on without incident and without any further comments on her handler's identity, so she'd much rather be at home. 

What reason was there for her not to do this from home? Her handler calls in from wherever they are, so realistically, Natasha could also pick up from wherever she is. Ideally at home, after a relaxing shower and a little time with her wife. Natasha supposes that's where the issue may lie: you, her wife, who has been led to believe Natasha is a security guard and nothing more. If you overheard a debrief, not only would SHIELD's confidentiality be compromised, but you might never forgive her lies. Natasha's home office was soundproofed though and, because of that, the assassin would take the risk if it means extra time with you.

Throughout Natasha's homeward journey and all through the mission debrief, you are the only thing to occupy her mind. Her mission finished in late afternoon, so she had planned how she would surprise you and spend the evening together upon her return, but then the debrief cropped up, and by the time her key is in the door, the sun has long since set, leaving her to wonder if you're even still awake.

You are. Just about. Your pyjama clad figure appears in Natasha's sight and you rush down the stairs to meet her by the door.

"You're home!" You beam as you wrap your arms over her shoulders and take her cue for a kiss.

"I am."

"How was your mission?" you tease. You know how seriously she takes each assignment, always doing prep work in her office ahead of the trips; she treated them akin to a secret mission and you never missed your chance to rag her for it. 

One of your favourite methods of teasing is to liken her to James Bond, which only gets more realistic when you catch her mouthing along to the movie lines.

"Top secret. Can't tell you," your wife jokes back, her smile threatening to burst off her face.

"No injuries this time?"

"None at all."

"Good girl." She preens. "Have you had dinner?"

"Not yet, I came home as soon as I was done. Couldn't wait to see you."

"Sweet talker," you laugh and kiss her again, then take her by the hand, "I put some leftovers in the fridge, you clean up, then you can eat and share your 'top secret' thoughts."

The evening's plan formed just like that; you reheat the noodle dish while Natasha takes a shower, before the two of you come back together to sit at the dinner table.

"So, how was it really?" you ask her.

"The job itself was alright, no problem." Natasha replies, but by the way she's stabbing the noodles with her fork, you can tell something else is coming. "But my bosses…they just won't tell me all the information. Say it's 'above my clearance'."

"The cheek of them."

"Don't mock me."

"I'm not, I'm not! I promise, love," you say, though you can't hide your barely contained laughter thanks to the prominent pout on your wife's face. You school your face back into an expression of neutrality before you talk again, "that sounds annoying. Do you need this information?"

"No," she sighs, "it's just a matter of trust."

"Well, you must be working with idiots for them not to trust you after all this time."

"Mm, you reckon I should tell that to them?"

"You definitely should."

The smile comes back to Natasha's face as she shakes her head, "you're going to get me fired, sweetheart."

"You're too good for them to do that. Just keep it up, you're going to be leading them one day, I'm sure of it. Then all the secrets are yours."

»»————-　★　————-««

Another week, another mission. And with another mission comes another mission debrief. Natasha asked for her handler's identity three weeks ago and still knows nothing more. With how poorly her recent mission went, she doesn't even feel like asking the question again.

"What went wrong, Romanoff?" that same anonymous figure asks her, and Natasha can only groan: what didn't go wrong?

"We were ambushed to start with; whoever gave us the heads up got their information wrong, or someone sold us out. Either way, the plan went to shit the moment we arrived and the team went to shit by throwing mole accusations around. Splitting up only made it worse; nobody trusted their teammates to do their parts and it resulted in a mad scramble. My orders were ignored, but my team members were injured and I take full responsibility."

"That won't be necessary, Agent," the voice hums, "as leader, the responsibility falls on you, yes, but it is each agent's responsibility to trust in you and follow your plan, and you will not be faulted for working with idiots who don't trust you."

Natasha starts to defend her team, before the familiarity of the phrase has her searching through her mind for a recollection. What she does remember is a long shot, but she'll lose nothing by asking.

"Do you have a wife, Officer?"

"I do," they reply.

"Is she a redhead?"

"She is."

"Works for SHIELD?"

"Why, it's almost like you know her," the handler goades. If one had an illustrated list of all of SHIELD's employees, they would know that the short game of 'guess who' still left a couple dozen potential employees in the running, but the teasing and testing tone is the final clue Natasha needs to make her assumption.

"Y/N/N?"

"Hey love," you reply, with as much adoration as you can muster, glad to finally be rid of the voice modulator while you talked to your wife.

In front of Natasha, the screen flickers before the silhouette that had become so familiar to her is replaced by another familiar sight in another familiar location: the smiling face of her wife…in her office.

Natasha's face falls at once, striking you with panic that this wouldn't be the gleeful revelation that you'd expected; that is, until the assassin speaks again. "Is that my desk?"

"It's your whole office, my love. I'm not taking these calls from our bedroom."

"Is that why it's sound proofed?"

"I gave the approval for that, if you remember, and it's certainly not because you're taking SHIELD calls at home; you haven't even had one while we've lived together!"

"That's because you organise it straight after the mission so I don't have time to go home!"

"Because that's where I am! you'd be suspicious otherwise."

Natasha falls silent for a moment. You know her well enough to leave her to her thoughts, only twiddling your thumbs as you watch her through the screen.

"So can I do debriefs at home now?"

"I don't see why not," you shrug, "remember I still have to take notes though, so I get the desk and no cuddling until after."

"No chance of that."

"Come back now, Romanoff, and we can put it to the test," you challenge.

She accepts. "I'll be there in 30."

"I know."

»»————-　★　————-««

Tagging: @supercorpdanbeau (since you mentioned you’d like to read it on the original post!)