#That may be a very bad omen for the future if you think my writing *is* bad enough
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pastelaspirations · 5 months ago
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK, MAAAN, LOOOK. YOU DREW THE CREEPY. YEEEESSS. I ALWAYS ADMIRE PEOPLE WHEN THEY CAN DRAW THE CREEPY BEASTS 'CUS I KNOW FOR A FACT THEY'RE HARD.
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHH, MAN, I'M HOLDING MY HEAD. I can seee, I can see that in the reflection, Ink's reflection, maan, omg. AND THE BEASSSTTT, I'M NOT OKAY.
You drew the Beast so accurately to how I described, man, I'm in awe. I know these spooky guys aren't easy to draw at a l l, so you have all my respect for attempting to draw them.
I'm also just. So extremely humbled. It always means the world to me to see scenes that I did ages ago still resonate with people. Like, maaaan, I'll never have known these older scenes stuck with people so much if there weren't people like you that tell me so. It always makes my heart so warm and fuzzy because I'm so very happy these older scenes are still holding up and actually resonating with people like I intended. I never would have known these scenes actually manage to do that if it weren't for people like you, so thank you so very much for that <3 <3
THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAN. IT'S ALWAYS A TREAT TO SEE PEOPLE ATTEMPT DRAWING THE BEASTS BECAUSE LORD KNOWS I DON'T MAKE IT EASY ON YOU. I DON'T EVEN TRY TO DRAW THEM MYSELF MOST OF THE TIME, SO I COMMEND YOU MAD LADS' EFFORTS.
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i am extremely normal about this moment Perseverance by @pastelaspirations
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forestgromlin · 8 months ago
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intro post!!
DON’T SEND ME ASKS ASKING FOR MONEY OR HELP. I CAN’T HELP YOU, I’M A MINOR. PLEASE STOP. I WILL BLOCK YOU.
Basic Stuff
call me: bee (like this lil guy -> 🐝)
minor (nothing weird please)
pronouns: she/her mainly, they/them is good too
sexuality: aegoaroace
current hyperfixation: hermitcraft + life series
art is under #bee doodles blog where i reblog stuff: @forestgromlinreblogs
if you want to follow me on pinterest just ask, my acct is private so i’ll have to send you the link :]
Other Stuff
(may have been a hyperfixation in the past or is a general thing that just hangs around)
art (i draw on procreate mostly)
singing (i’m a mezzo soprano, in a choir (where i sing alto) and musical theater class (where i sing soprano))
fanfic (i only read it, i don’t write it)
i like coming up with ideas for books and editing, but not writing the actual story lmao
i think programming/coding is very cool, i have done some very very beginner stuff before (if anyone has heard of perchance.org, i made a warrior cats things that has like 10k views or smt at this point 😭 it’s really bad, the code is so messy)
i would like to possibly go into game development in the future bc it combines a lot of stuff that is very interesting to me, but i currently don’t even have a computer i could use, so uh.. yeah
hermitcraft
life series
language/languages (grammar, linguistics, etymology, learning new languages, etc.)
marauders (harry potter)
harry potter (i do NOT support JKR)
kotlc
the owl house
she-ra and the princesses of power
bluey
pjo, hoo, toa, mcga, etc.
good omens
hamilton
newsies
lotr
rings of power (i’ve only watched season 1)
six
i used to play violin for like 2 years
music:
maisie peters
laufey
chappell roan
conan gray
cavetown
boygenius
phoebe bridgers
taylor swift
clairo
noah kahan
plus many more!
im one of the people that saw tumblr stuff on pinterest before joining tumblr
im very friendly online and would be happy to chat!! feel free to tag me in whatever
tag system
#bee’s thoughts - random original stuff, ramblings, thoughts, questions, etc
#bee doodles - sometimes i get the motivation to art, you can find it all under this tag :D
#bee watches stuff - i’m making my way through a giant list of hermitcraft and life series series’, updates will be under this tag :]
#bee’s song of the day - i’m gonna try to do a song of the day everyday!! feel free to remind me if i haven’t posted one lol (i almost never do)
#bee does texting - screenshots of texts i or my friends sent
#bee’s ultimate quiz - i made a really hard quiz about myself and had y’all take it to see how much you know about me :]
tags for moots
(so if you want to see all of my interactions with a certain person, just filter by their tag!)
(lmk if you dont wanna be here, or if you’re my moot but you’re not on here! i’m really bad at staying on top of stuff like this lmao, trust me, i encourage you to tell me)
#my beau-dee-ful wife <3 - @twinklefwinkle <- at the top bc she is my fiancée <333 i love her sm (her name is dee she is amazing)
the rest are in alphabetical order by tag! #andie! - @ladyloss-blog
#bug!! - @musical-dash-trash
#duck! - @duckieselz
#erin! - @kitab00m101
#indi - @indecisiveness-incarnate
#jas! - @yams-and-toast
#laceyy - @theodditylacey
#lee! - @mossy-enigma
#lucy! - @chickencentaur
#nyx - @nyxs-blank-canvas
#patch! - @toooster
#quinn! - @quintessentially1
#rin! - @rins-batcave
#rye bread!! - @kutie106
#sam! - @just-some-loserloverboy
#stanley! - @krevelaf
#the other bee - @lyninabin
#toast! - @ghost-y-toast-y
#vie! - @thelovelyvie
also @ all of my moots, i love y’all!!
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adiluv-moved · 2 years ago
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❥ SEER + HOMEMAKER SPOUSE HCS. ˚⊹꒷
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🍞୧・꒰word count꒱ 1230.
🌼୧・꒰warnings꒱ takes place pre-manor, possibly ooc.
🍮୧・꒰adi moment꒱ request here! these were originally supposed to be combined into one post, though i decided to split them since they ended up full length regardless, lol. i had a lot of fun writing this, i think it's a super adorable scenario! hope you enjoy! ꒰ ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ꒱
you can find naib's version here!
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꒰🦉꒱・Eli is honestly such a huge softie, and—in my honest opinion—would be one of the more doting husbands out of the entirety of the Identity V cast. He absolutely adores you, a sentiment that he’s never hesitated to make known ꒰whether it be to you or anybody within a five mile radius꒱, and you just can’t help but adore him all the same. The poor man was probably even scouring his visions to try and figure out what married life would be like before the wedding, if it gives you any sort of insight into how in love with you he is. And, since he did go through with it, I think it’s safe to say that he enjoyed what he saw!
꒰🦉꒱・I believe that Eli would also be the type to enjoy living in a cottage outside of the city, though not exactly for the same reasons that Naib may prefer to. Of course, while some of his motivation does relate to his desire to give you a space to decorate to your heart's content—he just loves how cute your personal style is—he’s also… just a big fan of how cozy and quaint it is. The city has its charms, of course, though he’d much rather live more peacefully beside you, away from the ‘rise and grind’ lifestyle. Even still, I’d say that your cottage would probably be quite close to the city, as it would be far more convenient for the both of you.
꒰🦉꒱・For the most part, although he does enjoy keeping your company, he fully trusts you to take care of yourself, seeing no need to try and restrict your personal freedoms. You’re your own person, after all. I don’t exactly see him as the type to become jealous ꒰that easily꒱ or overly worrisome, so he’s very much alright with letting you do whatever you’d like to—just as long as the two of you communicate with each other. His abilities as a seer, which he’d been open about with you since the beginning of your relationship, provide an extra sense of protection—even if he’s unable to tell you about the future that he foresees.
꒰🦉꒱・Although he’s forbidden to inform anybody about the events that he foresees within his visions, he’s come to realize that he can still take steps to act against it. After all, what he sees references a possible future—not necessarily the one that’s already set in stone. As such, any and all attempts to sway the outcomes of events are done incredibly precisely and subtly, years of having to keep the details of these prophecies secret giving him an incredible edge. 
꒰🦉꒱・Most of the time, you don’t even know that he’s acting on his foresight, only realizing afterwards whenever he becomes extra cuddly with you. What better way to celebrate the aversion of a potential disaster than snuggling up with your loved one, right? In the case that you do notice, however, it’s quite easy to confirm your suspicions. You love your husband, you really do—but any and all attempts of lying to you are quickly rendered useless by the small expression of guilt that appears on his face. He’s just… not a fan of lying to you, really.
꒰🦉꒱・He walks a very fine line when it comes to his duties as a seer and his duties as Eli, his decisions to counteract any bad omens sometimes already putting him at risk for ‘punishment’—whatever that punishment may be. And while he may not always spare you the full extent of his stakes ꒰he’d hate to scare you, after all꒱, he’s eternally grateful that he was able to meet you somewhere along the journey of his life. Powers be damned—this man is absolutely head over heels for his spouse!
꒰🦉꒱・Eli’s paycheck isn’t quite as large as Naib’s, a combination of factors having to blame for such circumstances. While you might’ve initially assumed that he’d be loaded—believing that he could easily make a fortune on telling people their fortunes—his restrictions keep that from being a viable option. Not to mention that there’s already many self-proclaimed seers running along, though Eli always says that they rely more on smooth-talking their clients than actually using any sort of foresight.
꒰🦉꒱・His preferred method of acquiring money is usually through picking up smaller jobs that interest him—with his visions helping him realize when certain opportunities are better than others. Simple manual labor, or perhaps even acting as a helping hand for somebody in need—he’s a firm believer in helping those that are less fortunate than him, and it’s something that he takes a great amount of pride in. The only downside is that some jobs require him to leave the house for days at a time, though he does his best to get back to you as soon as possible.
꒰🦉꒱・Although the both of you may not be able to shop until your heart’s content ꒰not that I see Eli being much of a big spender, regardless꒱he does quite enjoy saving up money in order to surprise you with gifts. Just like many things within his life, his visions do tend to come in handy for this sort of thing, especially considering that all he needs to do is pick up a gift in order to figure out whether or not you’d enjoy it. Throughout all of the time that you’ve known him—whether it be as friends, lovers, or spouses, there hasn’t been a singular instance of him gifting you something you’ve disliked.
꒰🦉꒱・On the other hand, however, shopping for Eli tends to be a far more strenuous task—though not for the reason that you might expect. You know what to get him, and that he’d really just love anything, so long as you chose it for him out of the goodness of your heart… But you also know that you’ll never be able to keep it a secret from him. It’s a little sad, you think, that he knows what’s beneath the wrapping paper before it’d even been wrapped. He’ll at least try to pretend that he’s oblivious, feeling the gift and making some purposefully incorrect guesses before opening it. It’s a small gesture, but it really means a lot to him.
꒰🦉꒱・A big fan of cuddling, a fact that's remained constant throughout the entirety of your relationship—though I don’t quite see him as having a preference for being the big or little spoon. Truthfully, he’s just happy to be there. Do you want him to hold you? Sure! You won’t even have to let him know when you need to get up, he’s already retracting his arms to let you take care of whatever it is that came up! Do you want to hold him? Absolutely! He’s eagerly walking over to you before the words even leave your mouth!
꒰🦉꒱・And, of course, it’s impossible to leave out Brooke! Although she’d take some time to warm up to you when you’d started dating Eli, she becomes very affectionate once she finally does. She’ll allow you to pet and hold her, even abandoning her post on Eli’s shoulder to come and sit on yours—so long as he’s not going out for the day. She’ll even flutter around and try to help you with any chores, something that you deeply appreciate—though she will steal any food that you’ve cooked. The three of you really are just a happy family! 
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i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!
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possibility-left · 6 months ago
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Writer's Interview Meme
I got a tag from @copperplatebeech, thanks much! This is the writer's interview meme.
How many works do you have on ao3?
148 works in a large variety of fandoms. I also have an enormous volume of work I never posted to AO3, mostly short pieces, which live in my old fic journal on Dreamwidth.
What’s your total word count?
319,626 words! So that's about 2k words per fic which feels accurate. Obviously I have longer and shorter pieces.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
My top fic is actually something I wrote in 2017 (it's totally great and cool to comment and kudos older stories!). It's a soulmate trope rewrite of Disney's Tangled called wide open to the sun and I still regularly get kudos on it. I think it was probably recced somewhere because the exchange I wrote it for was pretty small.
Then it's diamond heart, which is an Adventure Zone Magnus/Taako get-together fic, followed by this love left a permanent mark, a short Star Trek: TNG piece about Data asking Geordi to help with his android maintenance, which is soft fluff.
4 is build a bridge even where there is no river, which is a Game of Thrones fic from 2014 (some ancient show speculation) that's a Daenerys/Arya get-together fic. #5 is blinders, which is an ATLA Toph/Zuko post-series romcom.
Kind of funny that they're all different fandoms and pairing types, but I guess I'm most successful with my get-together fics -- that seems to be the theme.
Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
There was a point a few years ago where I stopped responding because I was stressed out but I eventually got back into the habit, and if someone comments on something old and I realize I never responded to someone else on that fic, I usually respond back, even to a very old comment. Why not? I always feel like it's nice to say thank you.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
though love be a day, Steven Universe, Pearl/Rose. The story of Pearl and Rose's last date before Steven's birth. Pretty sure I made myself cry reading it.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
I think mostly I write happy endings. It might just be recency bias but maybe the happiest one is the exponent of breath, Good Omens, A/C, in which there is a lot of fluff, a proposal, and a wedding. I had a lot of fun with that.
Do you write crossovers?
Recently I haven't, but I definitely have in the past and I wouldn't say no in the future if I had a good idea. I really like fusions where you put the characters from one fandom into another fandom's world.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I got some anon hate on a fic I wrote for an exchange; the story wasn't quite received like I'd expected and people thought I'd tripped a DNW, so. Fair. I ended up doing pre-reveals edits to address the issue (I know, this is bad form) and it remains in the Anonymous collection to this day lol. No further questions.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Very rarely -- I hardly ever have ideas for smut, although I do read it and enjoy it. It's almost always f/f (write what you know) and soft and romantic.
I am plotting an Ineffable Wives smutfic right now but it's still very early in the plotting stages and may never come to fruition. I hope it does -- I'd like to write more.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I've been putting my fanwork on the internet since 2001, it would be a shock if it hadn't been stolen at some point, but I'm not aware of it ever happening.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
It's been a very long time. I wrote a bunch of stuff with my ex-wife that is probably all off the Internet now, and my BFF and I used to write together a ton when we lived together, but it's been a long time since she and I have shared fandoms and worked on something together. I've always done a round robin/roleplay type of thing where you pass bits of writing around to each other and play off each other. I do think it would be fun to write something with someone else again though, now that Google Docs makes that a lot simpler.
What's your all-time favourite ship?
All-time? I really can't say. Before Good Omens I liked shipping little bits of everything, especially f/f rarepairs, but I've gone through a lot of cycles. Some old favorites are Cardcaptor Sakura - Eriol/Sakura, Avatar: The Last Airbender - Toph/Zuko, Steven Universe - Garnet/Pearl. Right now tops is Aziraphale/Crowley of course.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
In like March, I started writing a fic where both Crowley and Aziraphale were turfed out of their homes at the beginning of S2 but I couldn't quite figure out where I was going to go with it -- I just wanted them to both be in this uncertain place when Gabriel showed up and both aware of the precarity of their positions. But the rest of the plot has failed to come to me, so idk if I'll finish it. If that inspires someone else, feel free to run with it.
What are your writing strengths?
I hope it's character voices; if I can't hear the dialogue in my head I know it's not right. I also try to write good descriptions and entwine feelings with said description.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I read copper's answer to this and had to laugh in sympathy because I'm currently untangling the ridiculously long sentences in my WIP and wondering why it is I've never found an em-dash I didn't like. I also overuse semi-colons.
My writing weaknesses also include the fact that I will start writing without having a plan, ending, or plot, just because I thought of a good piece of dialogue.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I don't know any other languages but honestly I feel like I tend to go along with fandom convention for this -- so in Japanese language fandoms I feel like honorifics are important and I'll use them, but beyond that it's all English for me.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
I wrote my first fic in 2000/2001-ish and it was a Cardcaptor Sakura fic in which Syaoran and Sakura get together after the end of the series as young adults. I emailed a webmaster I admired and they posted it on their Geocities website. Yes I am old!!
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
I'm kind of stuck on my one favorite thing right now but I'm also rewatching The Good Place and I feel like it would be fun to write for. Sitcoms are really hard imo, I have written Community and Brooklyn 99 and it's really hard to get the humor balance right, but when you do, it pays off great.
What's your favourite fic you've written?
I'm pretty sure this is recency bias as well but recently I got a comment on wake with thirst, which is a Good Omens Michael gen fic that retells bits of the Good Omens story from Michael's POV, and when I reread the fic, I found myself kind of mad that no one else has read it, because I do honestly love it. I feel like I did some clever stuff there in the bits between the canon knowledge we have of Michael. I had fun getting into their weird POV, and also torturing them a bit. But also it's gen-fic about an angel almost no one likes so I get why it hasn't gotten a lot of attention. The Michael and Shax section is probably my favorite.
Tagging!! Obviously please feel free to take this if you see it, but I will tag @carry-the-sky, @ngkiscool, @bl0ndwave, @may--hawk, and @curiouspupsicle just as a random selection of folks!
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eurydiceauxenfers · 2 months ago
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@witchthewriter
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
BBC Merlin
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Description
I ship you with Mordred! You share a passionate spirit and a touch of the mystical, but you're fiery and outspoken where Mordred is shy and passive. You're also intuitive where he is, frankly, a pretty bad judge of character. I think you'd be able to save him. Having someone to confide in who isn't Merlin, someone openminded and intuitive who views him as the kind and gentle soul he is, not the dark future he may become, would stop him from turning to evil. In turn, he'd be hopelessly devoted to you.
Species/Abilities
You're already a witch lol, why not stay as one? You are a powerful self-taught magic user living in the outskirts of Camelot, but your abilities are stifled by the circumstances around you. You longed for the chance to learn more, and with Mordred's presence and Arthur no longer enforcing the anti-magic laws, you two take a lot of visits to the druids together, where you are able to hone your powers until you perhaps even rival some of the series magic users...
Headcanons
He's not remotely suave about his feelings. You being around him turns him into a flustered stuttering mess, blushes like crazy whenever you make eye contact
When he's planning to ask permission to court you, he begs Gwaine to help him be his wingman, Gwaine helps him prepare a whole speech to write down but its a rainy day and the paper is soaked when he reaches you. He throws it away and speaks from the heart
"Witch... I'm sorry I'm no poet. I'm hardly even a knight. But you're the most remarkable person I've ever met and I do anything in the world to get to know you better. So please, will you give me a chance?"
He fights for you in every tourney, and every night he sends you a good night "text" with his telepathy, telling you he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.
In turn, you stand up to Merlin for him and call him on his bullshit, for trusting a suspicious prophecy dragon over his friend, and force him to come clean with the truth
After Kara's death pushes him over the edge and sends him to Morgana, he is ready to take vengeance across Arthur, until he realizes Morgana intends to slaughter Camelot to a man, including you...
"You insolent little boy! Do you have any idea what you're doing?! What about your revenge? Are you really throwing away everything we've worked for, for some wench?" "I don't care about my revenge. She deserves more than to be a sacrifice for your games. I love Witch more than I could ever hate Arthur."
After magic is eventually officially restored by Arthur you begin traveling with knights on missions too, you and Mordred tell each other spooky stories around the campfire (and then cuddle each other to sleep that night to keep the terrors away).
Theme Song (genre: bardcore/medieval folk)
Willow- Hildegard Von Blingin Cover
Bitter Water- The Oh Hellos
Meet Me At Dawn- The Gothard Sisters
Tropes
True Love Conquers All
Excuse Me, He Asked for No Pickles
You're the Only One Who Understands Me
Their Favorite Thing About You
Your empathy. Like I said you're the only person who sees all of him, not just a knight or a druid or a dark omen, and you love him anyway. You don't care what Merlin claims Mordred is destined to do, you're too intelligent to allow that to influence your feelings for him. You trust your gut and you know he's a good person.
Your Best Friend
I can see you becoming very close with Merlin yourself, as one of the only other magic users left in Camelot. While you disagree sometimes as he can be kind of pigheaded and one-track minded, you respect each other immensely.
Which Character You're Most Like
I think you're a lot like pre-heel face turn Morgana! You both fight passionately for what you believe in and don't take shit from anybody!
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ LOTR
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I ship you with Legolas! This elven prince is a bit of an odd duck, he's still ethereally elven but he's also a lot more down to earth than most of his people. He'd be certain to appreciate your unique beauty, inside and out. He's cheerful and his friendliness is a good balance to your introversion. He's also a very perceptive person, I think you two would be able to understand each other well as be on the same wavelength.
Species/Abilities
I think you are a Sindar, just like he is (childhood friends maybe...?)! You have the intuition and open mind of an elf, but you don't feel scholarly like the Noldor, its more of an artistic, creative, left brain intelligence. Like all elves, Sindar have extended lifespans and enhanced senses. I think it makes sense for you to be a powerful sorceress among your people, you can speak to animals and even plants. Perhaps you also have some control over the elements, like the sort Elrond demonstrates in Fellowship...?
Headcanons
He always knows exactly what to say to make you laugh, and vice-versa
Helps you refine your techniques with the bow, I can totally imaging him behind you, hands on yours, hot breath on your cheek as he ever so gently directs you into the right position
I think that because of his heightened senses, Legolas also deals with sensory processing issues, he always knows when you're feeling overwhelmed by your environment and where to go to get away from it all
Visits elven hotsprings with you during your downtime, the water naturally smells like flowers and its best soak you've ever had.
During the events of LOTR, you stay behind to protect the Mirkwood, and continue the quest to clear the vestiges of Sauron's power from it, every night the two of you stare at the moon and take comfort that the other is staring at the same sky
After the events of the books, he brings you back a crystal necklace from the Glittering Cave, and promises to show you it before you leave for the Undying Lands
Theme Songs (genre: classic rock)
Rhiannon- Fleetwood Mac
Over the Hills and Far Away- Led Zeppelin
Crazy on You- Heart
Tropes
Can Communicate with Glances Alone
Orange Cat x Golden Retriever
Somewhere Out There
Their Favorite Thing About You
Your cleverness. Legolas thinks you're brilliant, one of the brightest people he knows. He always trusts your judgement, especially on people. Technically speaking, Legolas is the heir to his father Thranduil's throne, making you a princess, and he has the utmost confidence that when the time comes, you'll make an excellent queen.
Your Best Friend
You're going to be besties with Gimli. He and Legolas are borderline inseparable post-Fellowship and while you probably harbor some reservations about this strange dwarf, you soon realize Gimli's rough exterior hides intelligence and great taste. For his part, he was always eager to meet the person who Legolas calls soulmate and takes an instant liking to your fiery attitude.
Which Character You're Most Like
I think you're a lot like Aragorn! Loners more by circumstance than by choice, you both fight for those who cannot fight for themselves and dance to your own rhythm.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ MCU
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I ship you with Bucky! Poor boy needs a gentle soul in his life, someone who understands him and can guide him through this strange new future and his healing journey. Bucky and you have a lot in common, your shared mental health struggles for sure, but you're also both people with a strong sense of justice, a sharp wit, and a hidden soft side!
Species/Abilities
I think in the MCU you are a mutant! Humans possessing a special x-gene and born with unique powers, mutants are often unfairly hated and feared, despite some of the world’s foremost heroes belonging to them. For you specifically I think your powers are similar to Danielle Moonstar’s; you are an illusionist with minor telepathic abilities, capable of making a person’s deepest fears or wildest fantasies appear before them.
Headcanons
I am begging you watch LOTR with this guy, he's such a secret nerd he literally read The Hobbit when it came out, he will love it! You can pull an all night trilogy watch together and cuddle with popcorn!
After being injected with the serum, Bucky found all his sense were heightened, and he also struggles with PTSD, unlike you he doesn't fully understand what's happening to him, so he really appreciates how you know exactly what to do to calm him down when he's having a panic attack. He takes notes for the next time you need his help.
As his memories come back, so does his rizz skills. He’s a classic gentleman and a consummate flirt. Has a ton of pet names for you, his favorite is “lovey” and the classic “sweetheart”. Tragically he also fond of other, less familiar pieces of 40s slang, you may need a dictionary for pillow talk
Speaking of pets: amazing pet dad. He’s the perfect shape for catnaps and he loves playing with and taking care of your dog; having a pet relying on him helps him take care of himself as well!
If anyone gives you shit about anything, being a mutant, your witchcraft, your piercing, whatever, he’ll give them hell. They can expect to wake up in the middle of the night with a cold metal hand around their throat (he won’t kill them but he’ll definitely put the fear of God in them)
Bucky would rather do anything but fight, so if you chose to be a hero don’t think he usually joins you in the field (he trusts you to take care of yourself) but when you come home from a mission he’s always there with ice packs and comfort food and anything else you need ready.
Theme Song (genre: jazz standards)
They Can't Take That Away From Me- Sarah Vaughan
'Tis Autumn- Nat King Cole Trio
It's a Lovely Day Today- Ella Fitzgerald, Paul Weston And His Orchestra
“Murder” He Says- Betty Hutton
(it doesn’t fit the genre theme but I am also kind of thinking of Queen’s “Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy”)
Tropes
Two Broken Halves = 1 Complete Whole
Smiles Reserved for You Only
Someone Will Die- Of Fun!
Their Favorite Thing About You
Your humor! When he's feeling down you're the only one who can make him smile. You know how to make him laugh and access his joy and optimism, and your refusing to let the weight of the world crush your spirit makes him feel stronger too.
Best Friend
I think you’d get along very well with Monica Rambo! You both take no shit and you’d bounce off each other well, I bet missions together are fun! You are also being befriended by Sam. Resistance is futile you’re going to a family cookout whether you like it or not (he’ll make sure your plate is corn on the cob free and set up a little chair farther off in case you need to decompress from the noise).
You Remind Me Of
Honestly, Bucky, that’s the reason I picked him because I think y’all’re so similar, for all the reasons I listed above. You mirror each other in a lot of ways, and the differences you do have end up fitting so nicely together.
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cosmicoceanfic · 1 month ago
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AO3 tag game!
Tagged by @theevilcactus! Thank you! Sorry it took so long!
total number of AO3 works: 170
total AO3 word count: 1,359,735
fandoms I’ve written for: Star Wars, Marvel, Dirk Gently, Supernatural, Good Omens, What We Do In The Shadows, DC, Adventure Zone, Succession, Harry Potter
Some of these are now defunct for me: I do not foresee any Succession or Harry Potter fics in my future.
top five fics by kudos:
1: In Which Foggy Nelson Will Absolutely File That Sexual Harassment Claim, Matt
2: family means no one gets left behind or forgotten
3: In Which The Avengers and Daredevil Don’t Know How To Share Friends and Foggy Nelson Has The Patience Of A Saint
4: In Which Foggy Nelson Gets To Exercise His Abilities As One Of The Official Avengers Lawyers
5: In Which Foggy Nelson and Matt Murdock Inadvertently Adopt A Webslinger and His (Possibly) Crazy Roommate
I cannot BUHlieve so many of the In Whichs are up here. I was really in the right place at the right time with the Mattfoggy fandom.
Do I respond to comments: God, I want to. I’m so bad at it. I try and answer a few a month at least. I read them all, though, and the emails always make me delighted. Someone dropped me a comment tonight asking if I had a link to a fettuccine alfredo recipe I referenced in my latest Stucky fic and it made my whole evening.
What has the most angst ridden ending?: Probably absolute power? I don’t do a lot of unhappy endings- I like to at least end on a hopeful note.
What has the happiest ending: Uhhhhhh fuck. Almost all my fics have happy endings. I’m gonna say Revenant, because theirs feels the most earned.
Have I received hate?: I mean. Define hate, I guess? I’ve had people be shitty to me for sure. But they’re mostly just rude and entitled. Nobody’s ever denigrated me as a person for my work.
Do I write smut? If so, what kind?: Smut is just not in my wheelhouse, I’m afraid.
Do I write crossovers?: Very rarely. I wrote a Good Omens/Dirk Gently crossover and I wrote a Dirk Gently/Discworld crossover. I think that’s it. I do have an AU where Steve Rogers and Diana of Themiscyra are bros kicking around, but I don’t think I’m actually going to do anything with it. It’s mostly a layout and vibes.
Have I ever had a fic stolen?: Not that I’m aware of, but I don’t actually read much fic these days, so it’s entirely possible somebody has and I just haven’t seen it.
Have I ever had a fic translated?: Yes, several! Podficced as well. It’s always a delight.
Have I ever co written a fic?: nearly every Dirk Gently fic I wrote I co wrote with @princessparadoxical. Between published fic and unpublished layouts and notes for fic, we wrote about 500,000 words for Dirk Gently.
A WIP I’ll never finish: Claireverse. Absolutely Claireverse. Every other WIP in my arsenal, I entertain ideas of getting it finished, but Claireverse is never happening.
Writing strengths: Definitely dialogue. Dialogue is one of the things I do really well. I also think I’m moderately good at getting a character voice right.
Writing weaknesses: ACTION SCENES. There’s a reason @punkpuppydragon wrote all the action scenes in Revenant.
Do I like foreign language dialogue: It’s got a time and a place. I use it when I think it’s necessary, but I always provide translations.
First fandom I wrote for: it’s gotta be Star Wars. like, I can’t PROVE that it was Star Wars, I don’t remember what my first fic was, but the odds are EXTREMELY high that it was Star Wars.
Favorite fic I’ve written: This is kinda cheating, but to me the main arc of Revenant is One Story. I can’t really disentangle one from the other. So I’m gonna say the main arc of Revenant. It’s the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything, potentially including my masters.
Tagging @dont-offend-the-bees, @kieren-fucking-walker, and anybody else who may be interested!
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riverm00n · 2 years ago
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Hello there!
My name is River Moon, but call me River. My first language isn't English, sorry for the errors.
I started university so I have no idea how much time I will have to anything.
~ ☆ ~
I have some side blogs I promised to show you (for anyone who follows me and reads my tags under the reblogged posts lol).
Sideblogs I have:
1. Currently I have 2 blogs just for reblogs:
Transformers themed (just stuff about tf): @bleeeeeeed
Team Fortress 2 themed (just stuff about tf2): @bl7ed
2. I have one blog for the doodles I do: @riverm00ndraws
3. And I have this, wich is mostly Good Omens reblogs, but there are art reblogs and.. I dunno its just a little bit messy: @andsuddenlytherewasme
The tags I use:
What I really like: #!!! <3
When im talking: #riverm00n talks
#special tag
#important
That's all for now..
~ ☆ ~
Umm, I dont really talk about myself (so it is hard for me), but if you wanna know me a tiny bit more, then its under the cut.
I have 4 cats and I absolutely love them. One family (and hunting) dog. And some chikens with one goose. I love all of them very much!
I am terrible with plants, really. I destroy them with my kindness.
I rarely draw but I'm trying, I really am. I'm just really afraid of being judged. So if I get even just a like I get so so so happy!
I love to chat, talk, text anything! But I am bad in starting a conversation. I like better when the people are taking the first step to reach out for me (I think everyone is like with this). Because if I do I'm afraid that I only disturb them.. and I think I just realized that I might have problems with rejection. Oh wow
I talk sometimes (a lot) in the tags.
I feel like I don't know myself. Everywhere I read and hear these things that "no one is know you better than yourself" and I'm standing there like "wow, you are not helping at all".
I play games, mostly on pc. Resently I try to find some time to play Batman Arkham City (I have the others too, and I already finished Batman Arkham Asylum story mode and I like to go in order). I'm waiting for Hollow Knight Silksong to come out, yes I played Hollow Knight and its a beautiful game and I just coudnt finish the whole game because I stopped playing (maybe because of school) and its really hard to get in back. I also play Dead Cells and I am really excited for the series!! (I could rant about games for so long so I might just stop here.................. Don't Starve, Stardew Valley, Aragami, Dark Souls, Undertale and Delatarune, Terraria!!!)
I love books! Will I read them? Yes; when I won't find any more fanfics to read. Oh gosh I love reading so much!
I love music as well, I cannot really say a specific genre but my favorite musician right now is TheFatRat (and favorite music from him is Close to the Sun).
I usually leave projects. I don't always finish what I start. This can be a book, drawing, series or a movie.
I am really forgetful, I just know I forget to say something, but if you wanna know even more about me I will gladly text back, so just write in private, send an ask (I turned on Anonymus asks because I like to use that too lol) or anything you want.
This is enough so far, I think. I may edit this in the future, if something changes.
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Who am I
Hello to everyone who wants to read this silly little introduction (which will be ongoing, as I may forget something or want to add something in the future). I'd just like to tell y'all who I am and, let's be honest, to have a place in which I can easily reach things I've published.
This will probably be boring, I already know that, but let's still put it out there. Ongoing post, as I may be adding something more as things come to mind.
So, the basics:
I'm V. or Val, your choice.
I'm a she/her.
I'm cis, asexual and I don't want to define my romantic orientation - if I have to, I'd say queer romantic.
I was born in 1995, so I'm definitely an adult and definitely that confused generation between Millennials and Gen Z. I still consider myself a Millennial, tho.
My big three are Sagittarius sun (birthday is on 14/12), Sagittarius rising, Virgo Moon.
I'm Italian, so English isn't my first language.
However, I have a BD in Foreign Languages and Literatures and a MD in Music, Film and Theatre.
I can speak four languages: Italian (first), English, German and French.
I'm learning Gàidhlig and Cymraeg on Duolingo!
I work in the theatre! Not an actor or something artistic, I work in the offices, but still!!
I like writing. I'm not very good or consistent, but sometimes I like to indulge in it. I want to try and occasionally write something here.
If you get to talk to me in my DMs, it won't be long until I start talking about my cats. That's it, I'm one of those terrible people whose first thought in the morning is their cats. I have three: one is a senior who, in July 2024, is turning 19, and the others are 7 and 4. My little spawns of Hell ♡
Dream holiday destination? Japan. I'm sure one day I'll have enough money to go there.
Something more about my likes and dislikes:
My favourite band is Queen. I love a lot of other bands, like The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd etc., but Queen will always hold a special place in my heart.
My favourite singer is David Bowie. As for Queen, I love a lot of singers - Queen members themselves, George Michael, Harry Styles... But Bowie's got that je ne sais quoi that makes him special. I even wrote my MD thesis on him.
I generally enjoy reading classics more than new books. I don't think reading classics makes you superior, I think it's just something that has to do with what you're used to and what resonates with you the most. After all, it's all a matter of personal taste!
My favourite genres I think are horror, gothic, science fiction and I don't know. I mean, if I see something I like, I will read it.
My favourite writer must be Stephen King, though I love Edgar Allan Poe unconditionally. I know they are both problematic in certain ways, but what can I do? I just lose myself in their pages, especially in King's books.
Now this could make people see me in a bad light, but I can't help what I feel. One of my favourite books, one of my comfort books is Stephen King's IT. I KNOW, I KNOW but bear with me. I know it's about an alien eating and unaliving children and I am well aware of how problematic that scene is. But I can't help loving The Losers, feeling like they're my friends too. I love how friendship is portrayed, how much emphasis is put on trust and love, and how humanity is depicted. It's better to cut it short because I could talk about this book for hours lmao.
Back to the light - hah, you wish - my favourite playwright is Bertolt Brecht.
Some of my favourite films: Labyrinth (THE David Bowie is just *chef's kiss*), Jesus Christ Superstar (have seen it on stage with Ted Neeley, I'm so in love with this musical I can't put it into words), Jojo Rabbit, Young Frankenstein.
Some of my favourite series: Glee (extremely problematic, but you have to understand I was the right age when it came out and it reminds me of my teenage years. I can't stop loving it), Good Omens, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Bojack Horseman, Happy Days, Stranger Things, Barry.
I may be a little too much in love with David Tennant, but I mean. Who isn't?
I will rage if anyone dares say anything disrespectful in regards to Henry Winkler. That man is too sweet for his own sake and I love him so much.
Master posts under here, so that I too can find it more accessible if I want to get there:
Good Omens headcanons, incorrect quotes, edits & co
Fanfictions
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aimfor-theheart · 2 years ago
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Hi there Cielo :) May I say the latest chapter of Godmaker was a stunning addition to the rest .. You put so much foreshadowing into the story and it's definitely paying off now - it was so suspenseful!
"He wanted to be human. Mortal. Man." I can't stress enough how much I loved this line .. Gojo's humanity (or lack thereof) is one of the most important and interesting things to explore about his character (definitely my favorite) and you've been dealing with this concept in such a meaningful and intense way :).
One thing I didn't mention in the last comment I left is how well you've portrayed all the other "side" characters, especially Nanami .. He's still so young yet he already feels so tired 😖 .. The family scenes feel so bittersweet and nostalgic, and this chapter was no exception! And Tsumiki - given the way the last three manga chapters have evolved (big sigh) the scenes that involved her and Megumi gained an extra layer of intensity.
Second to last, the desperation in reader's words when Yuta made his appearance .. Knowing his arrival is when things start to seriously unfold in JJK made the moment even more dramatic (I don't know if that made sense 😂).
And last but not least, can I just say .. the very last passage! With what I've said about Gojo's character in mind .. I think it's the best part of it! The way everything slid in place, his painful realization, and both the past and future implications of it ..
I'm as always in awe :,) Thank you so much again for spending your time to work on this and for sharing it with us .. I really mean it! I hope you have a great day :)
oh gosh im sorry im getting to this a few days late!! its been sitting in my asks and i've been rereading it 💕
first of all, thank you AGAIN for taking the time to read and then come into my inbox to share your thoughts 😩😩💕 as always, it means the world to me!!
i think gojo has a...human complex lol. i've seen it go around the dash recently but it was something i'd thought/had been the basis of godmaker for a long time which is that gojo doesn't have a god complex because he just is a god. and he wants to be human. or he wants another god. he doesn't want to be alone anymore. and i took it the next level in godmaker LMAO
god the tsumiki bomb dropped on me and i went SHIT. bc i was not planning on THAT. and then megumi...oh megumi. either way. i had to continue godmaker despite whatever akutami is putting out lol. but im glad you're enjoying the side characters! i actually love writing nanami always. even if he's a tough nut.
it makes total sense!! that's what i intended for it to be! i do feel like yuuta marks the beginning of the end, in the reader's mind. she'll get to meet him next chapter and she. kinda sees him as a bad omen in her life lol.
but gosh THANK YOU! i really really really appreciate you taking the time to send this message and share your thoughts! honestly one of my fav parts of posting on here is when i get to do this!!
thank you again and sorry this is late!! i hope you're doing well friend 💕💕
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familyagrestefanblog · 4 years ago
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Analysis of the Family Agreste Portrait
Quarantine strikes again and since the Agreste family portrait has fascinated me for a loooong while now I decided to put my thoughts into words and write another essay x3
The amount of informations we get out if it is amazing and its not only highlighting the absolute TRAGEDY it is that this family is about to face such a horrible fall out, it also hints at the former family dynamic before everything went to hell.
So make yourself comfortable and get something to drink, because we will be here for a while.
Here we go: My analysis of this beauty of a fictional portrait
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Let's start with the most obvious one: Hawkmoth.
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Its commen knowledge by now that the background makes it seem like Hawkmoth is standing behind the Agreste family like a bad omen waiting for fate to take its course and cause their doom. The portrait is brilliantly designed so the illusion is created that Gabriels body (here in a blue suit closer to Hawkmoths normals dark purple one) overlaps with Hawkmoths and a darker line is connecting the two faces as well, which rest on the same height right beside each other. The very same line grows bigger as it goes further behind Emilie - coloring her entire background - showing us that EMILIE is all Gabriel sees when he becomes Hawkmoth. But notice that Adrien on the other hand can hardly be concidered part of Gabriels “sight” at all.
Its forshadowing 101 and damn beautiful if I may say so. But this isnt what I want to focus on in this post.
I want to elaborate on two other key factors that tell us about the former dynamic of the Agrestes instead and what they tell us about the present and future.
The heart:
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This is hitting me on another level because look at the heart these three form with Adrien right in the middle! He was so LOVED. This family may have never been anywhere close to ideal but still, there was LOVE and now he's gonna loose it all.
Adrien already lost his mother which led to his father getting even more distant and cold and now his father is becoming increasingly more abusive as he falls deeper and deeper into villainy. Gabriel was never a good father, the show has already made this clear with episodes like "the bubbler", “the collector” or "Gigantitan" for example but gosh there was hope for their little family! The end scene in "Jackady" portrayed it perfectly and I wrote a whole other post just covering the sigificants of Adriens and Gabriels hug in that episode. Check it out here if you want, it goes hand in hand with this one.
Miraculous is all about love and the completely different ways it can affect us, our behavior and actions. Because love isnt just wonderful, pure and empowering, it also can be twisted, destructive and cause the darkst nightmares. And with this family the writers know how to portray the complex love in an abusive houshold thats destined to go up in flames and they also know how to hint at their troubled past with the family portrait.
But this heart visual tells us even more in connection with the positions of their hands. And with these two key factors, lets start with Gabriel:
His hands convey it so strongly. He loves/d Emilie and Adrien so much and no doubt this love for them was certainly the reason why he started his quest as Hawkmoth. But he is now losing himself more and more in the pleasure of his villainy to the point where he forgets why he's doing it in the first place and becomes a complete monster (of a father). But this turn and spiraling into villainy didn't came out of nowhere - this root already had to be in him to grow like that. And this is also something the portrait indeed hints at as well.
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Because Gabriel is the only one of the three who:
1. We see so completely open and without hesitation reach out and hold BOTH his family members.
2. Is visually “cut off” from them as well.
But this doesn't mean he was excluded and the only one who truly cared and loved, it just shows that things were more... complicated...as usual.
This is best explained with Adriens hand placements:
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One hand is holding his mothers but the other one is visibly not reaching out for his father. But as we all know, that's not because Adrien doesn't love him. In season 1-3 it is made more than clear that Adrien does not hate his father - he loves him alot and tries to be there for him and be patient because he knows that the loss of his mother brought his father terribly down.
Sure, Adrien gets frustrated and angry with him, literally how could he not?? But Adrien tries his best to reach out to Gabriel so they can bond and come out of this tragedy stronger.
But this loving willingness to forgive his father for the chance of growing a father-son bond with him doesn't change the fact that these two didn't had a bond prior to this. And let's be honest here, does anybody actually think this distance between them was caused by Adrien? I don't think so.
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So notice how Adriens hand - not reaching out for his fathers - is the only one in the portrait NOT inside or forming the heart.
When the connection of the hands between the family members symbolise their connection to another, then Adrien keeping the hand for his father away from the display of love is VERY telling. It tells us very directly what this distance did to Adriens side of the relationship. Despite Gabriels hand being right there, Adrien does not meet the gesture. And I cannot believe that he did it out of resentment, nothing in the show indicated such strong negative emotions from past Adrien.
It's much more likely that Adrien not reaching for his fathers hand is meant to show us that Adrien felt that he either CAN'T return the gesture because he fears that it'll end in an unpleasant reaction from Gabriel - that it isn't Adriens "place" to reach out to his busy and distant father like that, like it's demanding something - or Adrien simply didn't took Gabriel laying his hand on his shoulder, in the context of posing for a portrait, as a gesture of love and affection.
The way I interpret the portrait is that prior to Emilies dissappearence Adrien did not exactly try to reach out to his father the same way he did from s1-s3, which, I mean, of course wasn't the case. Not only is it NOT the 13 years olds (or younger) job to form an emotional connection to their absent parent - when that’s the PARENTS job - it also wouldn't be necessarily "needed" for Adrien to do so.
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Because Emilie at this point was still in the picture so and she was the complete opposite. She was a (or maybe the ONLY) safe, reliable and loving constant of parental attention, affection and care in his life and because of these two HARSH contrasts Adrien learned from very early on to focus mostly completely on her in that regard while kinda blocking his father out.
That most likely wasn't even an active choice whatsoever - Gabriel proofed to be an unreliable resource so Adrien learned to subconciously treat him that way out of self protection. That doesn't mean he had any kind of dislike or malice against his father it just means that he wasn't able or allowed to connect with Gabriel the way he needed. Several episodes show that Gabriel deadass only parented like 15 minutes tops in his life with one of the worst offenders kinda being “Gigantitan” ngl.
So yeah, when I see that the portrait wants to tell me that prior to Emilies loss, Adrien - a 12-13 year old at most - is THIS used to rely solely on the strong bond he has with his mother and not even really reaching out for his fathers love, then I can't help but interpret it in the way that... Well... Gabriel was so distant and emotionally unreliable to Adrien for all his life, that Gabriel simply... wasn't needed by his son. Not at that point of time at least.
And while this may seem weird, because obviously Adrien only now starts to stop craving for his fathers affection and approval (which is btw a horrible, HORRIBLE thing and not something good. A half orphan losing the last remaining hope he had left of having the chance to finally get to form a bond with the only other parent he has left, just to be crushed by disappointment and abandonment all over again until he let's go, is REALLY NOT as much of a good thing people will make it out to be. This is... plain awful) it's actually quite logical.
Adriens hand outside the heart doesn't mean that his father meant nothing to him and therefore refuses to meet and accept his affection (that's literally the complete opposite of what the show shows us), it means that Adriens and Gabriels father-son relationship suffers from a fatal emotional disconnection caused by miscommunication/ a lack of communication.
And this was caused by Gabriel. How? Let me elaborate on that by going a bit far afield (cuz lbh we all have time for this. I’m writing this in quarantine and youre reading this is quarantine, so lets gooooooooooooo).
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In "The bubbler" Adrien says that his father "always forgot his birthday", but I cannot agree with this in true honesty. Gabriel is controlling his sons entire life, calls him "the epitome of perfection" and temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for him, he definitely never forgot Adriens birthday.
"The bubbler" even SHOWS us that Adriens perspective of the situation is actually not the truth:
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This is Adriens first birthday after Emilies dissappearence and it's incredibly telling how Gabriel handles the planning.
What this entire little sequence tells me is that Gabriel is completely and UTTERLY used to NOT be the one to take care of anything related to Adriens birthday. So Emilie was always the one who did it but somehow - now without her - Gabriel apparently still hasn't even considered changing anything about that nasty non-involvement and just expected Natalie to pick everything up where Emilie left it.
Because let's be real here, knowing Natalie she would NOT have forgotten to get a present if Gabriel truly had told her to. Natalie is never presented to do mistakes like that but Gabriel on the other hand IS definitely presented to us claiming things about himself as ultimate, blameless and true when they simply do not reflect reality. A great example: Gorizilla
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You didn’t even speared a minutes of your time for Adrien and he DID try to! Asshat… It's a problem guys. The lack of self awareness Gabriel displays in moments like this is legitimately concerning when you think about how deeply this man is falling right now.
But back to the topic:
Because even if Gabriel didn't even consider doing anything himself for Adriens birthday - not even taking the time to SEE his son (who just recently lost his mother, come on Gabe, really?) - one thing one cannot hold against him: he sure as hell remembered Adriens birthday like any decent parent would and it wasnt portrayed as a this-year-for-the-first-time thing.
And yet Adriens statement still makes complete sense. Because a big, BIG problem with Gabriel is just how much he takes things for granted. He EXPECTS things to be universally known and to never be doubted, just because that's how HE sees them. I will write 10 essays if it's needed to make people understand that Gabriel DOES truly love Adrien, it's just that Gabriel HIMSELF is such a rotten, twisted and toxic person that he cannot see how much his (oppressing) behavior and the way he (doesn't) express his love hurts Adrien and that HE is the one at fault. (for more, once again, read this)
Gabriel LOVES Adrien but he takes the love he feels as such a matter-of-fact that he just completely... forgets to show it.
And when we take Adriens words and look at the Family portrait it unfortunately seems that...
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…. Gabriel ALWAYS forgot to show it.
Adriens hand - that should at least be reaching out to his father - is outside of the heart in accepting certainty. Because that's what Gabriels non-presence was for Adrien while growing up: an unreliable and unreachable certainty he had to accept early on as safer to not try to emotionally depend on too much or else he will get hurt.
So yeah, Adrien is the one in the portrait who is very openly not reaching out but only because Gabriel never gave him the needed affection and stability to be able to create that bond.
But let me correct what I said a little earlier: Adrien ALWAYS needed his father. Every kid, especially one in a bad situation like Adrien, does need their parents/friends etc as support system to become independent and confident in a healthy way. And if they don’t have that they WILL crave and look for it!
What Adrien has been doing up to now IS normal for a teenager - humans NEED affection, belonging and safety. What ISNT/SHOULDN’T be normal is Adriens disconnection towards his father in the portrait and just how much Gabriel fails to take care and BE THERE for his son in BOTH TIMES!
Collector:
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Bother Christmas:
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One thing I like about the show is that it portrays their young main cast with one very important truth: The psyche of a child/teenager of their age will react and adapt so it SURVIVES, even if it results in unfortunate consequences in other relationships and places. Thats the psyches main concern and it'll try to cope with the limited experience and development it has in whatever way necessary to get itself to the next day. A coping mechanism is not there to make you a better person, it ensures your SURVIVAL, everything else is a secondary concern.
So seeing pre-show Adrien not react to Gabriels touch and even feel completely unloved and disconnected from him is no surprise to me. Kids are incredibly observant. They may lack the needed experience and knowledge to truly understand that they deserve better and to stand up for themselves but they are masters in picking up red flags in people and can put this danger into perspective while comparing the different danger levels of their options of people and places to adjust their behavior.
Feast:
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Stormy Weather 2:
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So the broken connection between father and son we see in the portrait (that Gabriel doesn't even notice but Adrien fully internalized) isn’t there because Adrien “didnt needed” or wanted his father, its because Adrien NEEDED Gabriel so much in his isolated upbringing but Gabriel didn’t LET him need him - so Adrien had to adjust to that accordingly. Big, huge, ENORMOUS difference.
Honestly the most miraculous thing about Miraculous is that Adrien was able to bring up the strength to stay positive and friendly and to forgive Gabriel in hope for a better future. That boys situation is 7 kinds of depressing and traumatizing...
It's just flabbergasting to me how well this portrait shows how basically non-existent their relationship was at that point. And it's horrible to know that this estranged and unformed bond is all Adrien had left after Emilie dissappeared, just alot worse because after Emilie incident Adrien states that his father changed alot for the worse as well.
So to think that all Adrien had left wasn't even this former basically non-existent relationship with his aloof father - who would only barely show his true affection for his son because he's either not around enough to do so or he thinks it "unnecessary to proof his affection" for/to Adrien because he already thinks it so obvious and undoubtable.
Well he thought wrong. And GOSH, it breaks my heart!
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So now comparing the "Gabriel" hand from Adrien with the one representing his connections with his mother conveys a pretty harsh contrast.
Because last but not least, let's take a look at Emilies hand placements:
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But here is now an interesting difference to Adrien. Whereas we openly see that Adriens side of the Adrien-Gabriel relationship is completely disconnected from the heart/love - showcasing just how badly Adrien has always been neglected by his father - we don't see Emilies hand in her Emilie-Gabriel relationship AT ALL.
Once again just like with Adrien, this doesn't mean she didn't love her husband and that Gabriel was used and fooled by the woman he so utterly adored. It just means that from Emilies point of view things were a bit more complicated. What exactly this is, the portrait is keeping secret from us. We have no way of knowing if and how Emilie is returning her husbands gesture. All we can say is that if she does she is definitely not doing it in such an open and unconflicted way as she does with Adrien.
But since when has anything with this family been this easy?
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One thing the portrait makes very clear, Adrien and Emilie had a strong and good bond. Definitely the healthiest because the Adrien-Emilie connection is the only one depicted without any kind of disruption from both sides. Both mother and son are reaching out for the other ones hand creating a whole half of the heart, showcasing their affection for another openly and without any of the implied doubts the other connections display. And honestly? Comparing all the hand placements, the one connecting Adrien and Emilie just comes across as strikingly pure and true (which makes it even worse that it was HER Adrien lost…)
As I said it's a HARSH contrast to the one Adrien shears with Gabriel. This contrast is highlighted even further by the way these three face on another.
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Emilie and Adrien are positioned facing another and so are Emilie and Gabriel. Telling us that Emilie was "face-to-face" aka involved with both her husband and son. It is Adrien and Gabriel were this looks wildly different. These two have no way of seeing each other in the eyes the way they stand now/then, further displaying their deeply rooted disconnection. It's portrays perfectly how important Emilie was in this family dynamic, because even though Adrien and Gabriel bearly had a connection at all they at least had Emilie as a link between them, keeping the family together. But then they lost her and where this left both father and son off we know oh too well...
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So to collect all the informations we get out if this portrait:
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-Adriens and Emilies relationship was the strongest and purest. Both of their hands connect and reach out for another in the heart, showcasing that they had a loving and positive bond.
-Adriens and Gabriels relationship is heavily scarred by a deeply rooted disconnection leaving Adrien feeling unloved and unwanted by his father to the point where Adriens side of their dynamic is outside the heart altogether. Gabriel may love and adore his son just like he loves his wife and never thought he displayed his love for him in a lacking way, but fact is: this love never reached Adrien the way it should have and Adrien is the one in their dynamic who got severely hurt and damaged by it.
-Gabriel was the only one completely unconflicted and happily at peace with the former Family situation. He's reaching out to both his family members with open love and affection in blissful oblivion that neither his wife nor son could return them the same way (to different degrees for different reasons). Gabriel was the ONLY ONE in the Agreste family who didn't saw problems in their lives and thought them all happy, hence why he's so obsessed with changing the past and bringing THIS state of their family back. He was happy and he had everything he needed and loved right with him, of course he wants THIS back. He's not aware that Emilie and ESPECIALLY Adrien did not feel the same about their former situation and that bringing all of them back to this is not the perfect happy ending for their entire family as he thinks.
-Emilie may not have been as unconflicted with Gabriel as he was with her but she is NOT feeling the same disconnection her son feels and isn't depicted with negative feelings towards Gabriel. Her side in the Emilie-Gabriel relationship is neither shown outright positive as with her son or outright bad as Adrien with Gabriel. Her side of their bond is depicted through her unseen hand placement in the unknown area in between.
-Despite their not so unconflicted feelings towards Gabriel - and Gabriel himself being aloof - neither Emilie nor Adrien are actively trying to cut Gabriel out. They aren't flinching away from his touch or exclude him from the heart whatsoever. He's happily included, obviously feeling loved. They may not be 100% happy and Gabriel doesn't notice it, but they aren't denying him his happiness and make him unhappy. Again, he's the only one truly happy here. Something neither Emilie nor Adrien tried to take away from him.
-Emilie and Adrien are facing each other as do Emilie and Gabriel, implying the presence of communication and a bond. Adrien and Gabriel do not face each other, showing their disconnected bond. If they could see each others face Adrien would have been able to see that Gabriels hand is a gesture of genuine affection and Gabriel could see that Adriens expression does not exactly display pure happiness the way he thinks. This also goes for Emilie. Emilie just like her husband is placed BEHIND her son, so even if she is facing him she would not be able to really see just how much Adrien is not satisfied and truly happy with his life at that point (meaning how unhappy being looked up, friendless and at distance with his father actually makes him).
- This fascinating family makes me sad and I like it lol
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samwisethewitch · 5 years ago
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Divination Basics
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From the Roman priest reading auguries to interpret the will of the gods to the modern fortune teller reading with a deck of playing cards, divination has been a part of human spirituality for thousands of years. Today, divination is an important part of many witches’ practices, and can be an important tool for self-reflection and analysis.
Merriam-Webster defines divination as, “the art or practice that seeks to foresee or foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge usually by the interpretation of omens or by the aid of supernatural powers.” Divination can be used for many things, not just to predict the future. It can be used to understand the past, identify patterns at work in your present, or as a tool for working through trauma.
In the book You Are Magical, author Tess Whitehurst describes divination as, “a way of bypassing your linear, thinking mind and accessing the current of divine wisdom and your own inner knowing.” As I’ve discussed in a previous post, all of us are receiving psychic information all the time, though many of us don’t realize it. Divination tools like tarot cards or rune stones act as triggers to help kickstart our natural psychic gifts.
Divination relies on the use of our intuition. Intuition is defined my Merriam-Webster as, “the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.” These are the things you know without needing to be told. Another way of thinking of it is this: your intuition is the way you interpret the information you receive through your psychic senses.
The most important thing to remember when doing divination is that the tool you are using isn’t giving you information — it’s simply helping you to access information you already know. The revelations come from you, not from the cards or whatever other tool you may be using.
When using divination to foresee the future, it’s important to remember that the future is never set in stone. These tools can only show you the most likely outcome based on your current direction.
 Beginner-Friendly Divination Tools
These are the divination methods I would recommend for beginners. For one thing, most of these systems are fairly easy to learn and use. For another, these are some of the most popular divination methods among modern witches, so it’s easy to find information about them and/or talk to other practitioners about their experience.
As you’ll see, each divination method has its own strengths and weaknesses, so you may choose to learn several methods that you can combine to get stronger readings. Or you may find that you can get all the information you need from a single method, which is also okay.
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Tarot. This is my personal favorite divination method, but it’s also the one with the most misconceptions surrounding it. Tarot cards do not open a portal to the spirit world, and they probably didn’t originate in Ancient Egypt. In fact, evidence suggests that the tarot comes from a medieval Italian card game called Tarocchi, although the modern tarot deck as we know it didn’t come around until the 20th century. Tarot cards are not any more or less supernatural than ordinary playing cards. (Which, incidentally, can also be used for divination.)
Tarot makes use of archetypes, and many readers interpret the cards as a map of an archetypal spiritual journey. For this reason, tarot cards are especially useful for identifying the underlying patterns and hidden influences in any given situation.
Most tarot decks follow the same set of basic symbolism. Unfortunately, this does mean that new readers will need to study the accepted meanings. This isn’t to say that your readings will always match up 100% with the standard meanings of the cards — you may receive intuitive messages that deviate from tradition. Still, it’s helpful to know a little of the history and traditional symbolism behind this powerful divination tool. The good news is that, since most decks use similar symbolism, once you learn the traditional meanings you can successfully read with almost any tarot deck.
I’m planning to post a more in-depth introduction to tarot very soon, but in the meantime, if you want to learn this divination method I recommend starting with the book Tarot For Beginners by Lisa Chamberlain and/or with the website Biddy Tarot.
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Oracle Cards. Oracle cards have been rapidly gaining popularity in the witchcraft and New Age communities in the last few years, and it’s easy to see why. One major appeal of oracle cards is how diverse they are — there are countless different oracle decks out there, each with its own theme and symbolism. Another big plus is how beginner-friendly they are; Oracle cards are usually read intuitively, so most decks won’t require you to learn a complex system of symbolism. (Of course, the fact that every oracle deck uses different symbolism can be frustrating for some readers, because they have to learn a new set of symbols for every deck.)
Some readers (myself included) also find that oracle cards usually give more surface level information. Tess Whitehurst says that, “While oracle cards can help us answer the questions ‘What direction should I take?’ and ‘What is the lesson here?’ tarot cards are more suited to helping us answer the questions ‘What is going on?’ and ‘What is the underlying pattern at work here?'” For this reason, many readers choose to use tarot and oracle cards together to get a more well-rounded look at the situation.
Another common complaint about oracle cards is that many decks are overwhelmingly positive and shy away from dark themes or imagery, which creates an imbalanced reading experience. I think this is best summed up by one Amazon review for the Work Your Light Oracle, which says: “Basically, this is very much a deck for Nice White Ladies(TM) who like crystals and candles but aren’t ‘super into all that witchy stuff.'”
There ARE oracle decks out there that address darker themes, but many of the most popular decks on the market are overwhelmingly positive. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes a little positive encouragement is more helpful than brutal honesty. However, too much focus on the positive can lead you to ignore your problems, which only makes things worse in the long run. For this reason, finding balanced decks is important — if you’re going to use a very shiny happy deck, my advice would be to alternate it with more grounded decks, or with a deck specifically designed for shadow work.
That being said, oracle cards are a great divination tool if you can find a good deck, especially for beginners who are intimidated by more structured systems like tarot and the runes. If you’re interested in working with oracle cards, the best way to start is to find a deck that 1.) you feel a strong attraction to, and 2.) has a good guidebook. (My favorite oracle deck is the Halloween Oracle by Stacey Demarco, which I use for readings all year.)
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Runes. The Elder Futhark alphabet is a runic alphabet that originated in ancient Scandinavia around 200 AD. While this was an actual writing system, it also had magical and mythological associations in the cultures that originally used it. While using the runes for divination is a modern practice, it is based on the historical sense of magic surrounding these symbols.
Like tarot, the runes have a traditional set of meanings. However, because there are only twenty-four runes, there aren’t as many meanings to learn as there are with tarot. Some rune sets also contain a blank stone, which has its own special meaning. I have personally found the runes to be a great source of wisdom and insight, although they do tend towards “big picture” messages rather than small details.
However, there is one major stain on the runes’ history; they were studied and used by Nazi occultists before and during World War II. Like many symbols associated with historical Germanic paganism, the runes were appropriated as part of Nazi propaganda — for example, the Sowilo rune was incorporated into the SS logo. This isn’t to say that you can’t reclaim the Elder Futhark alphabet, but I do think it’s important to know the history going in. Because of their association with Nazism, it’s best to avoid wearing or publicly displaying the runes.
There are other ancient alphabets that are used for divination, like the Anglo-Saxon runes or the Irish Ogham, but the Elder Futhark is the most popular.
If you’re interested in learning divination with runes, I recommend the book Pagan Portals: Runes by Kylie Holmes.
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Pendulums. Pendulums are interesting because, unlike tarot, oracle cards, and runes, they can be used to answer yes or no questions. For this reason, many readers use pendulums to get clarification on readings they’ve done with other divination methods, but you can also use pendulums on their own.
A pendulum is any small, weighted object hanging from a chain or string. You can buy a pendulum made specifically for divination from a metaphysical shop or an Etsy seller, but you can just as easily use something you already have: a necklace, your housekey, or a small rock or crystal tied to a string.
Pendulums may be the easiest divination method to learn. The only thing you need to do to learn how to interpret a pendulum is ask it what its “yes” and “no” motions look like. To do this, simply hold your pendulum in your hands and focus on your connection to it. Then, let the pendulum hang from its chain or string so it can swing freely. Say or think, “Show me ‘yes’.” Allow the pendulum to swing, and pay attention to its movements. “Yes” is often a forwards-and-backwards swing or a clockwise circle, but your “yes” may look different. (Some witches even notice that different pendulums in their collection have different “yes” and “no” movements!) Once you’ve gotten the pendulum to show you its “yes,” ask it to show you its “no.” For many readers, “no” is a side-to-side swing or a counterclockwise circle, but again, yours may be different.
The biggest downside to pendulums is that because they typically only answer “yes” or “no,” you have to be very specific with your questions. Pendulums aren’t the best tool for general energy readings or open-ended advice. However, that specificity makes them great for validating your gut feelings, interpreting your dreams, identifying a deity or spirit that you think may be reaching out to you, or any other situation that requires a little clarification.
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warriorcatsamino · 2 years ago
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"The only way to keep Tigerkit on a good path is to keep a close eye on him," Goosefeather muttered to himself. "I don't talk to Starclan, so why does Goosefeather think I want to be a medicine cat…?" Tigerkit started pawing at the herbs in front of him, "I want to fight." "I can't believe you're trying to force him into this," Thistleclaw growled at the older cat. "You're trying to take my apprentice from me. May I ask why?" He whipped his tail in agitation. The the gall of this bag of bones made him furious. 
If you are at all familiar with any of the WA Tumblr posts, then you have probably heard of this amino’s creative clans. But for those who don’t, I will give a brief explanation. WA has a series of creative clans that can only be joined VIA audition. These clans focus on a particular skill, concept or idea in Warriors and use skills such as drawing, writing, cooking or crafts based on a prompt assigned by the leadership team. Members are required each week, every other week or month to create these assignment posts. The piece depicted above, made by Kii_CatArt on Twitter, was for a clan called Alterclan. Alterclan, according to their official wiki on WA, is a clan that “is all about asking the question "What if?" We take scenarios and major choices from the books, and create art, stories, or theories about what would happen if they had chosen the other option, or if we had gotten a different outcome. The butterfly effect is what we enjoy exploring, as one simple twist in the Warriors series can cause countless situations to come to light.”. For the month of November, one of the two prompts members could select was, “What if Goosefeather took Tigerkit in to help him onto a better path rather than treating him like a bad omen?” This was the prompt the piece above is exploring. The original artist decided to interpret the prompt as Goosefeather making Tigerkit become a medicine cat so he could keep a closer eye on him and prevent him from going into battle.
I should probably give some context for the events in the books that lead up to this idea. ⚠️Spoilers for the main series and Goosefeather’s Curse ahead⚠️ In Goosefeather’s novella, it is quickly established that Goosefeather sees dead cats and has the curse of receiving prophecies he has no control over. One prophecy he receives which is mentioned both in Pinestar’s Choice and Bluestar’s Prophecy is about Tigerkit, the only kit of Pinestar (the former leader of Thunderclan who leaves to become a kittypet) and Leopardfoot. In the vision, he sees Tigerkit’s horrible future. In Bluestar’s Prophecy Goosefeather yowls as Tigerkit approaches him, saying that the tom should have died with his littermates. Similarly in Pinestar’s Choice, Pinestar has a dream where a Starclan cat tells him to kill his own son. When Pinestar wakes up, Goosefeather encourages him to listen to Starclan, hinting to the fact he knew about the dream and Starclan’s wishes. Pinestar, of course, doesn’t end up killing Tigerkit and he grows up to be the murderous and manipulative leader of Shadowclan, killing many cats and traumatizing many more before his death at the paws of Scourge. Even after his death, he haunts of the dreams of his living sons and Dark Forest trainees and is finally brought to rest in OOTS at the Great Battle with the DF. Firestar kills him once and for all, ending his horrible reign over the forest. 
I think the idea of Tigerkit becoming a medicine cat has tons of potential! It would completely shift the storyline and things would definitely have to be moved around. For one, assuming that Tigerkit would become Goosefeather’s apprentice, it’s very likely that Featherwhisker would have never become a medicine cat. Featherwhisker was Goosefeather’s apprentice and Sunstar’s littermate. Or, Goosefeather would have had two apprentices at once with Featherwhisker & Tigerkit both being mentored by him. However, I think the most likely scenario would be similar to modern day Thunderclan. I’m of course talking about the Leaf-Jay-Alder dynamic. For those not caught up with the books, Leafpool (a former medicine cat of TC) had her son Jayfeather as an apprentice. Later in AVOS, when Leafpool was still alive, Jayfeather took on his cousin Alderheart as his apprentice. The dynamic between Goose, Feather and Tiger could play out similarly with Goosefeather mentoring Featherwhisker and Featherwhisker mentoring Tigerkit when Goosefeather was still alive. There is however an issue with this idea. Featherwhisker’s apprentice, whom he gains in Spottedleaf’s Heart, was Spottedpaw aka Spottedleaf. If Featherwhisker already has an apprentice, then Spottedleaf would have most likely remained a warrior and possibly become Thistleclaw’s mate. Unless of course, Featherwhisker take on two apprentices or die prior to Spottedleaf’s apprenticeship. In that case, Tigerkit (would his medicine cat name still be Tigerclaw or something else?) would mentor Spottedleaf, meaning Thunderclan would have two medicine cats at the time of Rusty entering the clans. Likewise, Spottedleaf would have most likely not died as she would have her mentor there to protect her. Unless of course Tigerclaw died prior to Into the Wild. In that case, Thunderclan would still be left without a medicine cat and Yellowfang would be accepted it. Without Tigerclaw as a villain, the first series would lack a lot of the tension it had and Bluestar would have to select a different cat for deputy after Lionheart’s death. Actually, now that I think of it, Lionheart most likely would never be deputy as Redtail would still be alive. Now this plot could also be warped differently, for instance if Tigerclaw became an evil medicine cat and used herbs to kill Bluestar. Most likely he would have succeeded and put one of his lackeys (Longtail, Darkstripe or Dustpelt most likely) in the leadership position where he could manipulate them to do his bidding. The point I’m trying to make is a medicine cat Tigerclaw AU has a cacophony of different paths it could take. 
But, me and the rest of the SM team would LOVE to hear what YOU think on this matter! Do you like the idea of a Tigerclaw medicine cat AU? How do you think it would play out in the books? Do you think Tigerclaw would remain evil or turn good? How would the cats around him (Goose, Feather, Spotted, Thistle, Blue, Pine, Golden, Bramble, Hawk, Sasha, etc) be affected by this choice? How would the succession of medicine cats work out? How would the plot be affected? Would he keep his warrior name? Leave all your thoughts, opinions and feedback in the comments below. 
If you liked the art style depicted here, I’d highly recommend checking on the original post on Amino and leaving a like. Directly supporting the original artist not only makes them happy but benefits this account greatly. It motivates more creators to allow use to post their work. This gives this account more content to post for you guys! Do you want to see more Warriors based content? Join the Warriors Amino where we have a fun and active community which posts daily about the battle cats you know and love. 
Original Post linked here.
Original Artist linked here.
~ 🍵🥔
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thatgirlonstage · 3 years ago
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What will your next fanfic be about? Are there ones that you have on the back burner?
Lmao it's adorable you think I have this like. Neatly planned and organized that I definitely know what I'm posting next.
I have two kinky erotica one-shots that I have a good amount written for, one JJK Sukufushi pwp and one 5+1 porn-with-plot Elena of Avalor fic (...I started a rewatch and Esteban promptly broke my brain, it's. been a thing). Barring that I bang out something short on tumblr or twitter (like my most recent fic, keep the king) in like an hour, or something else doesn’t unexpectedly overtake my life, one of those will go up next.
For the back burner… oh, god, so many things.
I have three fics planned for next Mermay, two of which are short (a Critical Role M9 fic that will not take much work to finish, and would’ve been done this year if Our Flag Means Death hadn’t seized me by the throat and consumed my life, and a TAZ: Ethersea fic, which I have planned out and I’m just waiting to write out and publish closer to the month). The third is a longform Witcher geraskefer fic that I uhhhhh sort of promised would be published this past May, but then grad school and ofmd happened and it Simply Was Not Finished. But I am very much hoping to get it done for next year.
There are two BNHA fics — one dabihawks, one postcanon future fic that I was writing for Banned Together Bingo and didn't finish in time — that I have a shit ton written for but may or may not ever see the light of day due to starting them before/during the first war arc and now they’re really not canon compliant anymore, and I’d have to do a lot of work to make them a more deliberate canon divergence, and just… idk if it will ever happen. Also because, frankly, ime BNHA fandom sucks to post fic in. Your fic just gets buried in the first ten minutes and I feel like the comments to kudos ratio is particularly bad. So I’d be doing a shit ton of work just for nobody to care about it if I bothered to share it.
I do fully intend to write another TAZ: Balance fic about Lup to turn Without Mercy and Without Blame into a triptych that covers all the birds. I lost part of my drafting for that unfortunately so it's just getting up the energy to rewrite it. Also in the vein of incomplete series, I will not feel done with in the quiet of his mind until I have at least written the forest kiss and "get away"; and I would be absolutely remiss not to do an epistolary Charon/Hermes fic for The Many Layers of Life and Death. None of those things are imminent, but they've been percolating in my head long enough that I think I will eventually get to them, it's just anyone's guess when.
And then there’s the WIPs.
Both The Way You Said I Love You and Written in Sand I have substantial swathes of the rest of the fic written for. For WiS, at this point, I’m waiting until I’ve chipped away and finished the whole fic so that when I finally do come back, I can just post chapters once a week and not go on another years long hiatus. For TWYSILU I’m just blocked on part of this specific chapter and I need to get back to it whenever my brain stops hating me about it. They 10000% are not abandoned and will not be, I am just slow.
I did not. Uh. Intend to post a single chapter of If I’m Not Back Again and immediately stop, but. Life. The current plan for that one is that I’ll write more when Good Omens S2 drops.
And if you go REALLY far back in my Ao3 you’ll find The Green Hunter, which I honestly make zero promises for, that one’s on an “if inspiration strikes” basis.
The only unfinished published fic I have that definitely will not be finished is Long Lost, and even that isn’t abandoned as such — whenever I finish WiS, I want to move over to a significant rewrite of Long Lost to scratch the Voltron itch without being forced to engage with canon. But WiS is the priority.
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selenitawars · 4 years ago
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Pressentimento
Never Be The Same - Part 7.
Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader.
Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.
Word Count: 2332.
Warnings: None.
A/N: Yes, I’m back after over a year and a half. I know I’m a dumbass for making y’all wait for so long, but, honestly, I want this to be a fun writing, so I try not to pressure myself. Won’t make promises. Either way, always love to know your opinions. Hope  you enjoy this comeback haha!
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Pressentimento masculine noun 1. act of feeling in advance, more through emotion than reason, the occurrence of a future fact; suspicion. "I have a p. that this will not work" 2. knowledge of what will happen, obtained by intuition; forecast, hunch, omen.
You still hadn't explained everything to your father nor your uncle. Cas remembered one of the episodes that occurred with you when you were younger, around ten or so. It was hard for you. Every time you tried to explain yourself, things were hard to explain. All the time, something blocked you from exposing the fear inside you, the fear of letting things out.
The way their "new" memories came to them didn't help. It was so unpredictable. Cas remembered you praying first and then, mixed memories, tiny ones, which made him assume a lot about you already; and worry as well. Dean remembered more, like the time Sam was soulless and you lived with him for months, you concluded he was remembering things by the impact they had in his life. As for Sam, well, apparently things were coming more chronologically for him, but a little late, since he also had a lot of Camila to remember.
You tried to think how to talk to them about your crisis. The big ones. It was so complicated. When it started happening, you had your godmother to help with calming down and understanding how sensible you were; but even Vanessa had to talk with the Winchesters to fully understand what made you so much stronger and sensitive. Anyway, she wouldn't help you now that she was in the list of people to whom you never existed.
Oh, and your mother...
Looking at pictures of her nowadays became an addiction. You couldn't sleep before searching a little more about her, not that you've been having much sleep or any of this helped. You wish so bad you could talk to her. And now that Sam told ya you reminded him so much of Camila, you really studied her, trying to find the resemblance.
How would you tell them there's more? More of you to worry. You wanted to wait for a time when the memories hangovers weren't so heavy on them. They were all trying to act normal, but it was obvious - you've never been at home for this long, they were never so quiet. Dean wasn't even drinking, to make sure he wouldn't be more confused.
You were lying down on your bed, trying to ease the headache. It was normal to have a day just to be tired, but after the all day just resting you still got a headache by night. Went to get a pill to make it better and when you swallow it, you realize something.
"I don't exist." You whisper to yourself.
For the first time in that day, you felt useful. Even with the headache, you got in front of the computer and started to do your thing. For some reason you got happy when you confirmed your theory.
"I was never born."
"You gotta stop thinking about that." Dean warned you.
"No, I mean... I don't exist."
The three men stared at you with confusion, you repeated.
"I don't exist."
Still nothing. The room was filled with silence while you hoped for the clicking in their minds. It never came. You sighed.
"I never existed! Never did anything!"
Sam looked at you like he was starting to worry, while holding a bowl with cereal. Just like Dean, who chewed his, probably thinking you've gone crazy.
"I don't understand why you're so excited saying it." Cas finally said.
"Isn't it obvious?" They once more, didn't react. "There are no records of me, at all. Nobody knows about me. I only left the bunker once."
"What's your point?" Dean asked.
"We should keep it that way."
"What? Why?" The brothers said together.
"Well, if nobody knows I'm here, we're in advantage. It's always good to have a secret backup, right?"
"Like... as a surprise element?" Castiel suggested, you nodded. "Y/N, you don't truly expect us to treat you like a secret weapon..."
"Hell no." Dean agreed.
"It's not like it."
"Well, I don't see your point." You father stated. "I know this seems messed up, but, we can fix it. Don't worry."
"I'm not worried, I'm thinking!" You made them quiet. "C'mon, think with me: I barely left the bunker, how could anyone know about me?"
"We know about you." Dean answered.
"But you've seen me. And your memories, are just yours, this doesn't mean the world knows about me."
"Ok, but you'll need to use an ID sometime. Or will you live forever here, inside the bunker?"
"Dean, you should know it's easier to make a fake ID look real if there isn't a real one to prove the fake one as fake."
Sam took a deep breath.
"Ok, so we leave it as it is. How much long do you think it would last?"
"Not much, I know. But at least, for a while it could be useful."
"I don't see how, Y/N. I'm not using you as my secret-spy-soldier or whatever."
"Sam is right. It's not worth it."
"Castiel?" You looked at him, only to find the agreeing look. You looked down.
"Look, how can you be sure nobody else remembers you?" The angel tried to clear your mind.
"For most people I know, I never happened. And the others, will probably only remember me when they see me, if they do. Until then..."
"That's not right." Sam interrupted. "I had this feeling about you, before we arrived on that day; like I left something behind, but I couldn't remember why."
"So did I."
"I got one your prayers for not getting news from us." You stood there, silent.
"That's it? A feeling you forgot something?!" You left for your bedroom, a little ofended they didn't listen to you. Your idea was good, logical. You genuinely thought they would see it as a good thing out of all this.
Reflecting on it, you finally notice: you may not know your family as well as before. At first it sounds crazy, but this is all crazy, ain't it? And after doing their exercise for a couple hours, thinking about your childhood, the events that crossed it and when it all began, you got yourself some questions.
You fell asleep while still thinking, trying to find logic somewhere and always getting to the same point, a lost point. Somehow while sleeping, you had no dreams, didn't wake up once; not even the fact that you were with a jacket bothered you.
"Hey, man. You good?" Dean noticed Sam squeeze his eyes.
"Yep. Just those flashbacks. I hate to have them by day, but I can't sleep no longer."
"Like a constant hangover, thank God it's not a heavy one." Sam did not answer. "Sam?"
"Right..." Sam stared at the floor, seeing stuff in his mind. He blinked multiple times after a little.
"You all right? You seem shocked. What did you remember?"
"It's just... Y/N's suggestion."
"Dude, that was today."
"Very funny!" Dean smiled a little to ease his brother. "It got me thinking. Why would she want that?"
"Honestly," Castiel entered suddenly. "I think she is trying to get something good out of this."
"Good? I see her point, but..."
"Not good." Cas interrupted, correcting himself. "Useful, at least."
"It's not as useful as she thinks." Dean says as if it's obvious.
"It's the only thing she has to offer." Castiel putted it in a weird way, but made sense. They silented for an instant. "Still, how does that has to do with your flashback, Sam?"
"I thought that maybe I should listen to her. Maybe there was a point."
"You, Sammy, considered the possibility of being saved by her?"
"Obviously not. I wondered: what if her non-existence helped her get away from this craziness. Like, she could get to any school if we put some effort."
"You concluded it fast." Cas commented.
"Well, yeah. Then I... questioned." Sam felt the gazes at him. "How did she get dragged into hunting in the first place? Why did I not stop it? And one more thing popped up: why did I leave college?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Dean couldn't understand his brother.
"Dean, if it wasn't for my anger towards Jessica's death, who knows..." He explained. "So why I left Stanford, making Camila stay behind and after weeks drop out too?"
Castiel took a seat.
"Why did you?"
Sam opened the door, showly. You were in your bed, far from his atmosphere, enjoying a rest you needed. He passed the door carefully, took a look at your room and turned the lights off. Ever since that hunt days ago, when he saw you sleep at the motel bed while he was reading about the case, the day he woke up before you and as you slept in the car coming back home, Sam felt peace as he watched you.
It was the moment he could breath easily and a little relaxed. You were resting, next to him, nothing could hurt you in your sleep. There, you were safe and wasn't leaving soon. So he couldn't help watch you once more; just stood by the door for a couple seconds, smiled at the taught of you having a break from this madness for some hours. Grabbed the door and heard your move, turning to check if he had woken ya.
"Sorry."
"Don't be." Your voice sounded lazy. "I have a light sleep."
"So do I." You nodded. You knew it. He regrets commenting it.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"No, tell me." He understood you couldn't sleep anymore.
"You don't want to talk now."
"It's about earlier, I know." You said while rubbing your eyes. "Just spit it." He gave in and sat in your chair.
"Why do you wanna do it?"
"Why don't you?"
"Why would I?"
"You've always wanted this." He gulped.
"What? No!"
"You never wanted me to be in risk, you hated the fact I made you all vulnerable, now nobody knows I'm here. I know this isn't permanent and things can change, but for now, you could finally be at peace. Nobody knows me, none of you have to worry."
Samuel digested everything you said and got his answer prepared fastly enough.
"For a long time I asked myself if Jessica never died, would I be here? And you know, as things turned out to be, as I found out more and more throughout the years I got the answer." He paused. "I would. Because if it wasn't Jess, it would be Dean or dad, or a friend."
"What do you mean?"
"I left college for revenge." You got surprised. "It wasn't Jess. Not anymore." That sounded weird. "I made a choice and I know now that somehow, at some point, no matter how many times... I would make that choice again. As soon as somebody I care about got in danger. So I left college. For you."
Sam got back from his first hunt after two years. Camila was waiting. They talked and she was serious when she told him to call Dean. Leave as soon as he could. She said she had a bad feeling, he had to find his father. Was something repentine, fast and clear - the fear in her voice stopped Sam from questioning.
"The way she talked to me... her eyes, getting sudden tears. At first I tried to calm her, jokes on me, I blamed her hormones. Camila proved me wrong. I knew she had that sometimes, like with tests or bad decisions, maybe something simple like knowing staying in was better than going to a party. She was always right. If not totally right, fast enough to avoid regret." He looked down as her voice came to his head and repeated her words. "'This is your family we're talking about, Samuel! Your child's grandfather.' She screamed. I was scared." You two laughed a little. "She begged. Aggressively. But, I didn't leave because she did."
"Why then?"
"I called Dean to get back there and pick me up because once we talked, I got that bad feeling too. And was suddenly afraid. Afraid something would happen to either of you." You stayed silent. "I hoped things would be more simple, soon I'd be back and things would go back to normal. You would be born and grow up, normal. We would be a family..."
"Please, don't say normal." He smiled.
"Your mother's bad feeling... I don't know what is was about exactly. She got scared too in that moment and it was the only time I saw her that scared. But I know that mine became true. Only, it was even worse. There was no blame. Of all things that happened in those months, how worried I was with my father, you, Camila and even Dean... The hunts, the confusion and overwhelming information all at once. The fear. Your mother's death was the most sudden and painful." You saw a tear run down his cheek, followed by a couple more. Sam had more to say but you spoke before, in the heat of the moment.
"She knew." He looked back at you, now with red eyes. "I think she knew something bad was going to happen."
"She knew we would be in danger." By we, he meant himself, his uncle and your grandpa.
"No. Not that. She knew that something terrible was happening already and would get worse. But she didn't tell you to go to stop it." His tears froze, lost in your words. "Like you said. Camila was always right about this bad feelings. She was certain." You were sure thanks to your own experience with it.
"About Dean needing me more than her?" You denied.
"About you needing the rest of your family once I was born."
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slowlyreadinghouseofmirth · 4 years ago
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Page 7
In truth, he had never liked her as well as at that moment -> Selden's affections here are plain to see, made so especially by subordinate clause 'in truth' which conveys an honesty and freshness about his feelings. Most importantly, he likes her when she is being her true self, unconventional, and willing to take risk. It's likely informed by his disillusion with high society and finding commonality in someone willing to disregard its etiquette. This is where Lily is unique.
There's also this sense that Selden likes Lily because she is impulsive and this sparks his curiosity to try and understand why she does the things she does-- understand Lily as a person.
He knew she had accepted without afterthought: -> This reaffirms Lily's lack of hesitancy, which alludes to how willing she is to be in Selden's company. It also shows how comfortable she is with him as she is aware of the rumours that could occur but never merits them with being a possibility, showing great trust.
Alternatively, being aware of the risks and having not afterthoughts could suggest that she doesn't fully understand the risks' depth and nuance as in future the situation at Monte Carlo would suggest, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
he could never be a factor in her calculations -> there's a colon that separates this clause from the previous one which suggests this is an explanation for Lily's certainty. To me this would point more towards Lily not really associating the risk of rumours with Selden because she trusts him so much. i.e she does not think of him when she thinks of the risks. But given that they are going up to his apartment it seems strange that Selden would not think himself a factor in her decision. It's therefore possible that he thinks that Lily does not think of him worthy of great consideration.
Also the noun 'calculations' would suggest a lot of thought had gone into the decision where it was previously implied it was one of impulse. This seems like Selden thinks that Lily is playing an intricate game, which further demonstrates his curiosity about her and need to understand her.
there was a surprise, a refreshment almost, in the spontenaity of her consent -> This further contrasts Selden's perception of Lily's 'calculations' and I think the narration is a fine weave between objective reality--where Lily is impulsive-- and Selden's subjective perceptions-- where Lily appears impulsive but there is something more complex informing her decisions. I think this is meant to show that Selden is blinded somewhat by his affections for Lily, seeing things deeper than what are there or what everybody else sees. Alternatively, we as the reader lack Selden's sight into the complexities of Lily and so she is introduced to us as other people see her, which isn't well at all, and we have to learn how Selden sees her. It's a challenge to care for Lily as he does.
The spontaneity invokes a light hearted and refreshing feeling of being in love which mirrors the honest of truth mentioned earlier.
So there's Selden's surprise at Lily being so spontaneous which draws back to a previous point about she is unique for being impulsive almost reckless. It's like we get a sense of her character and her environment from how the two are at odds with each other. Lily is impulsive; noone else of her class should be like that. In a way that makes her free from the system and yet shows her struggle against it but ultimately her struggle will be more defining.
She noticed the letters and notes heaped on the table -> I assume that this is a reference to future letters although I don't know if they would be the same ones. If they were, I don't even have the mental capacity to unpack that. Just the thought that Lily's fall is inevitable, that even when she is happy, having a nice time, an unknown omen lurks within the same room that will bring her sorrow... oh its symbolic, for sure. But I don't want to think about it.
Lily sank into one of the shabby leather chairs -> the verb 'sank' shows how at home Lily really is with this kind of surroundings, how the shabby whilst not fashionable or expensive, is comfortable. From this we and the the pile of letters we get an image of a a slightly disorderly but well-lived in home. This is one of the tragedies where we see the possibility of what her future with Selden could look like where it is unconventional but Lily is comfortable at home even with it.
"How delicious to have a place like this all to oneself! What a miserable thing it is to be a woman," -> I love Lily's exaggerated turns of phrases like 'delicious' and the exclamations; I think Wharton's emphasis on these exaggerations is to capture Lily's innocence through her speech by making it similar to that of a child who is easily excitable.
Again with the exaggeration but this time with 'miserable', we get the sense that Lily has found the world difficult as a woman to live in but miserable seems too strong of a word, certainly at this stage in the book and is sort of hidden within her other hyperbolised expressions. Maybe this creates a kind of cry-wolf situation where, when Lily properly starts to struggle, people don't take notice not only because it wasn't the done thing to do to talk about struggles but also because of her melodramatic personality, everyone thought the same stuff was happening as it had before and Lily was making a big fuss over nothing.
There is repetition of 'miserable' in association to being of female sex further down the page which is another example of Lily's melodrama. But at this point we as a modern audience start to question if she is actually alright (or at least I did). I'm not sure if a contempary audience if the time would have given the strict taboo over discussing any kind of struggle financial/physical health etc. let alone the discussion of mental health. From the impression I get of the time, the only real source of outlet for people struggling with mental health beyond self medication was art, which makes me wonder as to the position Wharton is writing this from.
she leaned back in a luxury of discontent -> The juxtaposition of 'luxury' and 'discontent' raises an important theme that wealth does not equate happiness and that Lily is not happy as a socialite but happy in the company of Selden, and that actually money is the source of Lily's unhappiness. In this specific context, she is lamenting her lack of freedom to live the lifestyle that Selden does.
"Even women," he said "Have been know to enjoy the privaledges of a flat." -> Putting the discourse marker directly after the subject of 'women' breaks it apart from the rest of the sentence and emphasises the extraordinariness of women being able to live independently. But it also raises the possibility of it and suggests that Selden thinks Lily is extraordinary and unconventional enough to achieve the possibility if she chose to.
"Oh governesses– or widows. But not girls– not poor, miserable, marriageable girls!" -> Again we have the breakdown of womanhood into distinct classes like governess, widows, and girls,which creates the idea that there's no intersections between any of them and is a reflection of of societies fixation for categorisation which loses sight the complexity of situations and problems. And it also makes it easier to place social stigmas like those on governesses and widows. Those stigmas are made apparent here but in contrast to how Lily describes girls, being a governess or a widow seems desirable.
In the list of adjectives 'poor, miserable, marriageable', marriageable is equated to these other adjectives and we see that Lily associates marriage with a poverty of kind, of the heart.
It's also interesting that Lily talks about herself as a girl where Selden speaks of her as a woman. Lily plays up her innocence as she has probably been taught to to make desirable marital match, but with that Lily carries around an air of immaturity and naïvity; she's still very child-like. Perhaps that's a part of her that's trying to cling to her youth so she doesn't have to face her future where she will need to marry to survive. Lily sees her adulthood as a constraint on her and her desires whereas Selden sees her potential.
"you mean Gerty Farish," she smiled a little unkindly. "But I said marriageable–" -> Okay so definitely a little tone deaf on Lily's part buts she's honest to a fault and her honesty is refreshing and entertaining.
I'm no expect on autism and don't claim to be but there's something about Lily's mannerisms here that reminds me of people who I know and am very close with who are autistic. And it makes me wonder if Lily was autistic and neurodivergence was recognised in her time if her fate would have been any different.
"Her cook does the washing and her food tastes if soup. I should hate that you know." -> I just love the imagery of the first sentence, it strikes my funnybone. I guess it also illustrates that Lily's privileged upbringing if she thinks this is a bad situation to live in.
Okay I'm going to bring in a bit of a technical term to describe the verb 'should'. So it's a modal verb (expressing possibility based on context) but specifically a deontic modal verbal, meaning that Lily's hate depends on social rules. When she says she should hate it it implies that society wants her to hate it but she wouldn't necessarily hate it. That's what that verb phrase implies in today's english, but language has changed since the time it was written so it may not have been written with this meaning, especially as a signifier of an older text is the use of modal verbs in places we wouldn't today and a lot more of them.
The shift from Selden's reflections to the quick dialogue and short simple sentences of action creates a lively and charged atmosphere that feels almost flirtatious in its rhythm but by the nature of the content is more domestic (preparing afternoon tea). The balanced turn taking feels comfortable in that they both have equal power in the conversation, being allowed to say what they want to and being listened to. It goes towards simulating what a possible future could be and also shows how happy they are in this moment.
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revengeoftheantichrist · 4 years ago
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What Kind of Man
Warnings: Arranged Marriage, Period typical sexism 
AO3
Chapter 1: White wedding
A storm was brewing.It was the beginning of summer in Southern England, far too late in the year for weather like this. Maybe it was a symbol of what was to come, an omen. Despite the weather, the village was abuzz. Your house being the centre of the commotion. The occasion was supposed to be one of immense joy, of happiness and of love. It was the day that little girls and young women alike had dreamed of, the day their lives would change. However, for you the air of the day of your wedding was sombre, but maybe it was just you, you felt like you were about to attend your own funeral. //// You sat in front of the mirror while your mother braided your hair back into a low bun. You were still in awe at the crisp white fabric of your dress. Although you had made the dress yourself, the fabric itself was gifted to you by your future husband, he had spared no expense it seemed. You still had the letter that came with the package that day, it was the only piece of correspondence you had with the man. Your mothers face was beaming with joy as she did your hair, you however looked as gloomy as the weather outside. “Mother? Do you hate me?” you asked. Your mother stopped braiding your hair and looked up at you through the mirror. “why would you think that my child?” “you’re sending me so far up north, where its cold, you know I love the sun more than anything” She finishes off your hair and inserts some delicate pieces of ‘baby’s breath’ into the back. “My dear, as women we must make sacrifices for our families no matter how hard they maybe. Your brother wouldn’t suggest someone he didn’t trust, and be grateful, your marrying a Count. It brings me great joy that you will be taken care of in a way no other boy in this village could, I can die in peace knowing you won’t starve to death.” She puts the final touches in your hair, and you wrinkle your nose at the mention of death, a topic your mother seemed to discuss more often now. “now please put a smile on your face, you look utterly miserable, it isn’t your wake it’s your wedding, so please try to look the part of the blushing bride”, she said as she kissed your cheek. You huff and force a smile. “And stop huffing and puffing, it’s very unladylike.” You resist the temptation to roll your eyes. Before the conversation could go any further, your friend burst through the door, “HE’S HERE!” “Catherine please don’t do that again, I could have pinned the veil into Y/Ns head, and we don’t want any blood on the wedding day, its bad luck”. Your mother says as she finishes pinning your veil. A knock on the door interrupts you once again, this time it was your father. “ready to go?” he asked. “Oh yes yes just adding some last touches” your mother replied for you. “I would like a moment alone please, I’m a little nervous”, you said. “well… be downstairs in 10 minutes, we mustn’t keep the Count waiting,” your father responded. They all left the room, leaving you to your thoughts. You thought about the man you were about to marry, a Northern Count that you had never met before. Although you had never left your village, the name ‘Michael Langdon’ was known far and wide. You had heard stories of his beauty and charm from the women who never seemed to shut up. Your own friend Catherine had met him once at an event in London and sang his praises for days, you thought she’d gone mad. But you’d also heard stories about him from the men, stories you shouldn’t have heard. You couldn’t help yourself; you weren’t allowed in the parlour room when your brother was entertaining guests after his return form the Grand Tour. So, you spent the evenings with your ear pressed against the door, and you heard everything. Your brother spent the nights boasting about the debauchery and revelry he participated in, with your to-be husbands name mentioned on numerous occasions, he seemed to be the ringleader of all the ‘activities’ the boys got up to. Your first impression of him was not that great. Thinking back on all the stories did nothing to calm your nerves. The feeling of dread just seemed to get worse. You took one last look at yourself, smoothing down your dress. You picked up your lace gloves and put them on. Finally, you pulled your veil over your face and started making your way downstairs. //// You stood waiting for the doors to open as the bells rang to signal your arrival. Those bells wouldn’t be enough to ward away the evil that was to come. You held your fathers arm so tightly, you felt like a child learning to walk again. The doors started to open, you thought you would pass out. “Remember, look happy”, your mother’s voice echoes in your head and you force a little smile. You start walking down the aisle, trying not to look at the man you were to be bound to. But the walk did not last long enough. You stood at the front facing him. Michael lifted your veil and you finally looked at him. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked into those icy blue eyes. His golden hair, slightly curled, rested on his shoulders. You thought for a minute that an angel from the stained glass that surrounded you had come to life and graced you with his presence. But the smirk that was present on his plump lips told another story. You had spent so long gawking at your groom that you didn’t realise the ring had been placed on your finger, and it was your turn to say your vows. You looked down at his hands as he removed his glove, the bright red seemed so out of place for a ceremony like this. You repeat after the priest and place the ring on his finger; thunder booms in the sky. If you hadn’t been in such a daze, maybe you would have noticed how cold his hand was. The priest finishes the ceremony with a “you may now kiss your bride”. Michael leans down and gives you a quick peck. His lips had felt so soft, and as you turned to leave the church, you knew you finally looked the part of the ‘blushing bride’ //// The carriage ride back to your home was so quiet. You spent the journey looking out the window, taking in your village for what felt like the last time. You felt Michael staring at you, but your daren’t look at him again, fearing you may be bewitched by him. You had never been so thankful to see your front door; you could have leaped out the carriage. Michael got out first, offering his hand to help you out. Just as you both stepped into the house, thunder boomed again, and the rain pelted down as the door was closed. A minute too late and you would have been soaked. You were both surrounded by your guests, congratulating you on your marriage. You both thanked them for attending, while making your way over to the dinner table to cut the cake. You both held the knife, your gloved hand gripped by his as you cut into the cakes, you squeaked at seeing the inside was red, like blood. You heard Michael chuckling behind you, “its red velvet my dear, quite the rage in the Americas”. Your guests, just like you, were fascinated by this new flavour, but you were reluctant to try it, the nausea of the day getting worse at the thought of food. You both sat at the dinner table to eat with your guests. You ate very little, fearing you may be sick at any minute. Michael was a different story; you saw him eat more cake than a child on their birthday. He turned to you, holding out his dessert fork, “here, try some, I’m being generous I don’t usually share my desserts”. You rolled your eyes and reluctantly leant forward, allowing him to feed you a piece. You smiled at him, “its quite nice actually”. “I know” he replied and turned back to speak to another guest. You wanted to slap that smirk off his face. //// The evening came and the weather showed no sign of stopping, maybe it was a blessing and you could spend one more night in your childhood bed. But Michael had other plans. He stood and turned to your father, “we should really get going, I unfortunately have important business to attend to back home and it can’t wait any longer,” It was as if his honey like voice had your father in a trance. Your father being the logical man her was, would never let you leave in such terrible conditions. Yet he replied with a quick “oh yes of course”. You tried to be the voice of reason, “but the weather is terrible, the roads outside this village are prone to flooding, and I haven’t even changed yet.” Michael looked at you like you were stupid, “my dear, we do not have enough time for you to get changed, its late already and we won’t arrive until early tomorrow morning. Worrying about the roads isn’t your responsibility” he said. You father replied “Michael’s right, the carriage has already been loaded with your things and all your dresses are in there. Who are we to interfere in the business of a Count?” Michael looks at you condescendingly again, the urge to hit him resurfaces as your fingers twitch, you wonder why this man makes you want to be so violent. Your family walks you both to the door, saying their goodbyes. You wish you’d hugged them tighter. Your mother kisses your cheek one final time, “pull your veil down dear, its bad luck for your face to be seen during your journey to you new home. Make sure you write to me as soon as you get there, I’ll worry until I get your letter.” “of course, mother I won’t forget” you reply. You turn to enter the carriage and Michael pulls your veil over your face, “bad luck, remember” he says. You enter the carriage, resisting the urge to knee him in the groin, and wave back to your parents as it pulls out. You can barely see their faces through the rain, but it would be the last time you would. Michael sits opposite you, stretches and places his feet next to you. “there’s so much rage in you today, your jaw might hurt from all the clenching. Be a little happy, you’ve married a Count” he said. You looked at him, grateful your veil and the darkness obscured his face, “I’m making a big change Count Langdon, your county is very far from my home, and this marriage was my dear brothers’ decision, not mine. I’d like us to get along so Ill hold my tongue for now. If it isn’t a bother, I’m quite tired and id like to sleep.” You shot back. His jaw clenched, his hand shot out and grabbed your chin like a vice. In a low snarl he replied, “then sleep”. With those words, your eyes fell shut, giving in to the overwhelming urge to sleep, you face still in Michael’s hands.
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