#That guy can totally work a pole

[artist-issues]

Look I know Rapunzel paints and Tiana cooks, but if you guys don't think Mulan is the Most Creative Disney Princess, you're wrong.

She's literally introduced in this perfect scene that highlights her whole character, flaws and strengths:

The first time you see her she's:

Cheating, which is totally the opposite of what honor-code General Shang would do.

Undisciplined, which is what going to the army fixes.

Problem-solving—by writing the recitation she can't remember on her wrist—

BUT LISTEN. That last one is the first hint you have that she's the Most Creative Disney Princess. Because guess what? She's not the first young woman to cheat at the matchmaker test. The Matchmaker specifically checks to see if she's cheating when the test begins. But the rest of them wrote their cheat sheet on their fans.

The Matchmaker was prepared for the usual kind of tricks. But Mulan's full of her own ideas, not everyone else's.

You guys know the rest. She dresses up like a soldier—nobody suspects her because the idea that someone would do that never occurs to everyone else. She climbs the pole by tying the medallions around each other when none of the other recruits can figure it out. She lights the cannon by grabbing Mushu instead of searching for flints. She creates an avalanche instead of just taking Shan Yu out. She tricks the Huns by dressing her friends up as concubines. She defeats Shan Yu with his own sword and a bunch of fireworks.

But even beyond problem-solving, Mulan never does things like other people do. She doesn't even do things like other women do.

She doesn't just walk across a bridge, she jumps from pillar to pillar. She doesn't just bring her father tea, she puts a spare teacup in her sleeve because she knows she's clumsy.

Mulan is creative. But you know what that moment proves? That she's not just a representation of all women-versus-men. Mulan is representative of a human, who sees where she has strengths, and sees where she has weaknesses. She uses her strengths to her advantage and works to improve or make up for her weaknesses. She doesn't try to be exactly like a man. She just tries to use what she's got to do the right thing. And finding ways to use what you've got, even if it's not like what everyone else has, is creativity.

[luludeluluramblings]

Hey, so I was imagining something like this: the reader is a kid who was just adopted by Bruce, but she comes from a city that makes Gotham seem like the safest place in the world, and the Batfamily is constantly shocked at how calmly she can handle the criminals on the streets. 10 points if she's a particularly small and fragile-looking kid, but she's simply not afraid to walk around the dark alleys of the city recklessly.

I like to write Reader’s that didn’t grow up in a large city because feral redneck child reader with zero situational awareness and no fear is fun.

I totally imagine the Bat family always exasperatingly chasing after them.

Dragging them back from standing on the edge of a curb because a car is about to clip their dumbass.

Yelling at them to get off the light pole and climbing in places they shouldn’t. (Really they don’t mind, but you can’t be doing that turning the day in public. They’ll blow their identity if they try to climb up after you)

Do not use the sticks from the park to build a hut by your favorite treat place. In fact, please, don’t play survival wilderness in the park. Please.

Not being scared of gun shots because you used to have drunk redneck neighbors that would shoot beer cans off their back porch at random hours. (Sometimes they’d let you join. Sometimes they missed the cans.)

Scary alleyway? You got lost snipe hunting in the woods on a moonless night while getting chased by something in the woods. It was a squirrel. Any fear of the dark has been silly since.

Someone being gruesomely murdered? You watched a guy get his head blown off by a homemade fire work, and you had been in the splash zone.

Someone threatening you? You were not afraid the play dirty and stap someone in the back of the knee with a plastic shank that you Jerry rigged with something you found in the dumpster.

(The family is amazed at what you manage to accomplish with aluminum cans, duct tape, baking soda, and a broken hot glue gun.)

Now, the family loves you because 85% you’re just happy to be there with them. Letting them tote you around. But, when feral mode hits, they’re having to struggle a bit.

[checkeredflagggs]

Pole Position

Pairing: logan sargeant x stripper!reader

summary: after a(nother) bad race, logan does as anyone in Vegas does — drinks himself into a couple of bottles, meets the newest stripper in the club, and marries her? …wait what??

a/n: @sinofwriting is an enabler and shouldn’t be talked to at 3am…

a/n2: I support sex work of all kind — if you disagree, don’t come crying to me

a/n3: still working on story of us: chapter 3 but it just keeps getting longer and longer — people keep trying to flirt with y/n. It was just supposed to be a short bridge chapter 😭 but I work better under stress so I WILL have it out by Wednesday

a/n4: no particular year for this piece btw but mostly 2024

sweet_as_cherrie_pie

liked by user, user, user, and 1,124 others

tagged: the_lumberyard

sweet_as_cherrie_pie: training? done 🥳

view all comments

user1: 🥵🥵🥵

↳user2: oh so excited for a new dancer…

user3: 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦🍑🍑🍑???

↳user4: disgusting behavior

↳user3: this is a stripper’s page?

↳user4: and you think she deserves…you???

user5: Stop this ungodly behavior at once young lady!

↳user6: not to repeat those disgusting comments above — this is a strippers page.

↳user5: it’s a page of filth

↳user6: so how come you’re here?

user7: you’ve got this!

user8: I got to see some of your training and woooweee mama the dedication and physicality of it…

↳user9: I tried it once (looking for a new workout routine) and that was ENOUGH

↳user9: congrats girl!

logansargeant

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, user, and 790,469 others

tagged: williamsracing

logansargeant: I’m sorry guys — not the race we wanted this weekend but we’ll learn and come back stronger next time

view all comments

alex_albon: next time for sure 💪🏻!

↳logansargeant: absolutely!

↳user15: keep on dreaming — you suck

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user16: what a fucking waste of a seat

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user17: Williams I beg — drop the dead weight

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jvf1: next time

↳user18: well that’s ominous as shit

oscarpiastri: just gotta keep learning mate

↳logansargeant: we absolutely do!

↳user20: you do! Oscar isn’t the giant loser you are

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user21: never been so glad for a break in the calendar — gotta forget this disaster class drive(r)

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f1_gossip

liked by user, user, and 2,193,924 others

f1_gossip: what a wild night Vegas turned out to be! Pierced together from several drivers’ stories last night, the party started early and lasted for a while — it looks like someone now has a lifelong commitment actually

view all comments

user22: WHAT??? WHO???

↳user23: where’s that detective chick? Or the obsessive Bluesky users? WHO GOT MARRIED

user24: my bet is Max and Kelly — they celebrated his win a little to hard

↳user25: I always thought it would be charles to be the one to get drunk married…

↳user26: …yeah ok I can see the vision

user27: that head of hair? Carlos! Definitely 💯

↳user28: I’m throwing my money in on Lando? He totally gives off Vegas wedding vibes

oscarpiastri: …🧐🧐

↳logansargeant: …😬

user29: I was gonna say Daniel but Oscar and Logan are making me suspicious…

↳user30: yeah…now who do we think?

↳alex_albon: my money would be Lando

↳user31: sounds just like something someone with something to hide would say

↳alex_albon: im cuddling a plastic flamingo and am too drunk to make sense of that sentance

landonorris: maxverstappen1 you are never mixing me a drink again…anyone know where i am?

↳user32: LANDO?? DID YOU GET MARRIED LAST NIGHT??

↳landonorris: MARRIED?? TOWHO??!?

↳charles_leclerc: you got married and didn’t invite me? 🥺

↳maxverstappen1: or me?

↳carlossainz55: mate…

↳maxfewtrell: without your best man?

↳landonorris: im nOT MARRIED???

Private Messages, Boss and Cherrie

Private Messages, Logan and Cherrie

logansargeant

liked by sweet_as_cherrie_pie, alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and 1,344,924 others

tagged: sweet_as_cherrie_pie

logansargeant: I guess what they say is true…what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas. I’m glad though that you said yes (again)

view all comments

sweet_as_cherrie_pie: it’s the blue eyes. They make me stupid

↳user33: I have never agreed with anything more faster in my life oh my god?

user34: you married a stripper

↳logansargeant: I guess I did

↳user34: 🤮🤮🤮

this comment was deleted

↳user34: great pick — either a gold digger or a used whore

this comment was deleted

this user was blocked

oscarpiastri: so it WAS you who got married!

↳logansargeant: Apparently 😂

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: yeah I guess those Elvis chapels are actually legally binding? Idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

↳user35: I’ve had cherrie for only a minute but if something happened to her, I’d kill everyone then myself

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: extreme but I get it

alex_albon: YOU GOT DRUNK MARRIED IN VEGAS???

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: Watch your tone when talking to my husband.

↳user36: wow that period is the most threatening thing I’ve ever seen

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: it should be.

↳alex_albon: logansargeant help?

↳logansargeant: …sorry Alex but I got your flowers babe liked by sweet_as_cherrie_pie, user…see more

user37: wow I really had it being Lando who got married

↳landonorris: WHY. IM DEFINITELLY NKT THE TYOE TO GET DRUNK MARRIED

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: Is there something wrong with that Mr Lando Norris, 123 Monaco Street Monaco?

↳landonorris: WHY DO YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS logansargeant HELP

↳logansargeant: 😂

↳landonorris: stop laughing at my pain

jvf1: I expect you back at the Grove by Friday Logan

↳logansargeant: Yes Sir

↳user38: uh oh

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: Oh I’d love to meet you.

user39: when she’s (violently) protective 😍😍

↳sweet_as_cherrie_pie: Oh im ride or die for my people liked by logansargeant

y/n_sargeant

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 1,123,221 others

tagged: logansargeant

y/n_sargeant: when he has big blue eyes and looks good on his knees…you say yes (twice)

view all comments

user40: girl I don’t think you can actually say that

↳y/n_sargeant: who’s gonna stop me?

user41: the name change though…

↳logansargeant: oh im not letting her get away

↳y/n_sargeant: locked in for life 🔒 (and Cherrie was just a stage name anyway…)

↳user41: 😍

oscarpiastri: I think I’ll like getting to know you y/n

↳y/n_sargeant: same pastry boy

↳oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄

↳user42: oh I love this friendship already

alex_albon: …you’ll be coming with Logan then?

↳y/n_sargeant: you couldn’t pull me away

↳alex_albon: for how long???

↳y/n_sargeant: Well considering I got fired for getting married? Forever.

↳user39: still loving that (violently) protective bond

landonorris: no??

↳y/n_sargeant: Yes Mr Lando Norris, 123 Woking Street England

↳landonorris: HOW DO YOU ONOW THAT ADDRESS???

↳georgerussll63: Oh I’m going to love getting to know you y/n_sargeant liked by y/n_sargeant

logansargeant

liked by y/n_sargeant, oscarpiastri, and 993,234 others

tagged: y/n_sargeant

logansargeant: must be too fast for my own good — I got married before I started to date her. We’re fixing that now 🩵

view all comments

y/n_sargeant: ♥️♥️♥️ love you hubby

↳user43: I am so so jealous (and so single)

user44: no but dating your wife…

↳logansargeant: always

↳user44: ok just call us sad and single little vroom vroom boy

↳y/n_sargeant: trust me — there is NOTHING little about him

↳logansargeant: babe 😆

user50: ok but what kind of pie is that?

↳logansargeant: cherry! It’s y/n’s favorite

↳y/n_sargeant: actually you’re my favorite

↳user49: still don’t think you can say that… liked by y/n_sargeant, logansargeant

lilymhe: alex_albon take some notes

↳alex_albon: y/n_sargeant how long are you staying again?

↳logansargeant: forever and ever and ever liked by y/n_sargeant

user51: ok but who won the uno game?

↳y/n_sargeant: i did

↳logansargeant: she’s absolutely ruthless

↳y/n_sargeant: 🥹🥰

↳y/n_sargeant: but no I don’t take prisoners — not even my husband

y/n_sargeant

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,234,924 others

tagged: logansargeant

y/n_sargeant: oh yeah he’s all mine 🥵🥵🥵

view all comments

user52: im seeing the vision

user54: yummy 🤤

logansargeant: yeah Williams wants you to go through pr training now

↳y/n_sargeant: I will not but thanks for asking

↳williamsracing: it was really less of an ask and more of a requirement

↳y/n_sargeant: still gonna be a no

↳williamsracing: understandable queen — thanks for your time

↳user55: it was that easy?

oscarpiastri: i'm glad we’re in a different hotels

↳y/n_sargeant: Don’t worry about it. 😁 I’ve got time.

↳oscarpiastri: ominous

↳y/n_sargeant: Yup!

user56: is that…is that Logan pole dancing???

↳logansargeant: well I’ve got a great teacher!

↳y/n_sargeant: 🥵🥵🥵 you keep working that pole baby!!

↳logansargeant: whatever you say liked by y/n_sargeant

williamsracing

liked by y/n_sargeant, oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 1,948,138 others

tagged: logansargeant

williamsracing: AND THAT’S P1 FOR LOGAN! IN HIS FIRST EVER F1 PODIUM, HE CINCHED THE TOP STEP HERE IN ABU DHABI

And congratulations to Alex for his p5!

view all comments

y/n_sargeant: HE DID IT!! THATS MY MAN

↳user57: HE’S ON THE TOP STEP?!

↳y/n_sargeant: not just on the top step 🥵🥵

↳user57: we really can’t keep defending you girl

↳y/n_sargeant: im getting so railed tonight i don’t even care liked by user57, user…see more

user58: Williams points?

↳y/n_sargeant: WILLIAMS LOGAN PODIUM

user59: petition to have y/n come to every race ever — she’s clearly Logan’s lucky charm liked by logansargeant, y/n_sargeant

↳y/n_sargeant: absolutely!

↳user60: clearly! Her pole dancing translated to pole positions liked by logansargeant, y/n_sargeant

y/n_sargeant

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 2,823,183 others

tagged: logansargeant, alex_albon, williamsracing, jvf1, liakblock

y/n_sargeant: thanks for getting drunk and marrying me in Vegas baby — and congrats to the Williams Racing Team for a good last race!

view all comments

user61: did…did you dump a container of Gatorade on JAMES?

↳y/n_sargeant: gotta give him some of that good ol’ American hospitality right? liked by user61

logansargeant: that was the best impulse decision I’ve ever made!

↳y/n_sargeant: it really really was

↳user62: ok this is calling me single in more languages then I know how to speak

oscarpiastri: congratulations man!

↳logansargeant: you too! Constructors Champs!

↳landonorris: papaya rules!!

↳y/n_sargeant: Did you forget something Mr Lando Norris, Room 344 Abu Dhabi Hotel Abu Dhabi?

↳landonorris: SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOI DOING THAT!!

↳landonorris: also congrats on p1 Logan!

↳y/n_sargeant: I have my ways

alex_albon: congrats dude! Knew you could do it!

↳y/n_sargeant: yeah he can!!!

↳logansargeant: thanks man! And congratulations to you too!

↳y/n_sargeant: and congrats to you too Alex!

jvf1: My office. Now.

↳y/n_sargeant: yeah we’ll see you next year dude

↳logansargeant: sorry sir. We’re on our way

↳y/n_sargeant: yeah alright I guess…

Taglist

@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 22

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

We are wrapping up loose plot threads so: Hungary 2024, WHICH I FIXED (kinda). My questionable understanding of racing strategy? Crocheting.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Radio Transcript – Hungarian GP 2024 Driver: Lando Norris (#4, McLaren) Lap: Mid-race, after McLaren undercuts Oscar Piastri

RACE ENGINEER (Will Joseph): “Lando, box this lap. Box, box.”

Lando: “…You’re kidding. You’re actually kidding.”

Will: “Lando, we need to cover the undercut. Box now.”

Lando: “Yeah, I bet we do.”

[Lando enters the pits, swaps to fresh tires, and rejoins ahead of Oscar Piastri.]

Will: “So, uh, we’re seriously doing this? We’re actually undercutting Oscar?”

Will: “Affirm. We need to consolidate track position.”

Lando: “Oh yeah? That’s what we’re calling it? Consolidating?”

Will: “Lando, we’ll discuss later. Focus on your out-lap.”

Lando: “No. I want you to tell me right now why we did that. Because Oscar was ahead. Oscar was faster. So tell me why we just screwed him over. 

Will: “It was the best call for the team.”

Lando: “Oh, was it? Because last I checked, ‘the team’ includes Oscar, and you just threw him under the bus. And for what? Because from where I’m sitting, you just played us against each other for no reason.”

Will: “Lando, we need to manage the race. We’ll discuss later.”

Lando: “No, we’ll discuss now. Because Oscar went to bat for me when it mattered. He stood up when you lot wouldn’t. And this is how you pay him back? By screwing him on strategy?”

Will: “Lando—”

Lando: “I’m giving it back.”

Will: “Lando, we need you to maintain position.”

Lando: “Like hell I do. Tell Oscar I’m lifting into Turn 1.”

Will: “…Understood.”

Lando: Oscar— (lifts off the throttle, lets Oscar pass him back easily before Turn 1) —deserves better than whatever the hell that was.

Will: Lando, we didn’t ask you to do that.

Lando: Yeah? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you made me the bad guy.

Will: This isn’t necessary—

Lando: No, what wasn’t necessary was playing stupid games with two drivers who actually trust each other. Fix your priorities.

***

Lando Norris – Post-Race Interview | 2024 Hungarian Grand Prix

Interviewer: Lando, P2 today after a tough fight with Lewis Hamilton. It was an intense battle right to the end—how are you feeling?

Lando: Yeah, I feel great! It was a proper race, a hard fight from start to finish, and I loved every second of it. I mean, Lewis is one of the best to ever do it, so going wheel-to-wheel with him like that, having to really work for that P2—it’s what racing is all about. I think we put on a good show today.

Interviewer: We heard some interesting radio messages during the race, especially around the swap with Oscar. Can you talk us through that situation?

Lando: Honestly, I just want to talk about how incredible Oscar was today. He’s been mega all weekend. He got pole, he had insane pace, and to take his first win—it’s so well deserved. I’ve been saying it forever: Oscar is that guy. He’s quick, he’s consistent, and I’m just really happy for him. It’s a huge moment.

Interviewer: Of course, but just to clarify on the swap—there was some tension on the radio. Did that impact your race at all?

Lando: Not really. My focus was on getting the best result for the team and making sure we maximized what we could. At the end of the day, Oscar won fair and square. I had my own battle with Lewis, and that’s where my head was. We went at it for a good chunk of the race, pushing each other to the limit, and I managed to come out on top. That’s what I care about—proper racing on track. That’s what people should be talking about.

Interviewer: Still, there were some discussions about team orders—

Lando: Listen, I’m not interested in making a big deal out of radio messages or politics. What matters is the racing. And today, we had an incredible race. Oscar got his first win, McLaren got a 1-2, I had a great fight with Lewis, and we showed what we’re capable of. That’s what people should be focusing on. That’s what matters.

Interviewer: Fair enough! A brilliant result today. Congratulations, Lando!

Lando: Cheers, mate!

Comments: 

@/F1Fanatic99: Lando just straight-up refusing to engage in drama and instead hyping up Oscar and talking about racing? That’s my driver. 🧡 @/HamiltonGOAT44: Lando vs. Lewis was the battle we all deserved! Absolute class from both of them. @/NorrisNation: Lewis made him work for it, but Lando held his own. That was racing at its finest. @/PiastriP1: Lando literally said “I’m here to race, not talk” and I respect that so much. @/WDCOscar: We should be talking about how good Oscar was today, not team orders drama. Lando gets it. @/DriveToThrive: Lando dodging those drama-baiting questions like he's defending P2 against Lewis Hamilton. @/TeamOrdersSkeptic: I mean, it’s cool that Lando’s focusing on the positives, but McLaren kinda did him dirty, no? @/NotABot23: Maybe, but Lando said he didn’t want a free pass. He’d rather earn his position. @/OscarWins: At the end of the day, Oscar won fair and square. Even Lando said it. @/F1Conspiracies: He’s dodging the team orders talk because he doesn’t want to cause problems, but let’s be real—McLaren needs to sort their priorities. @/AntiTeamOrders: Lando acting like nothing happened when McLaren literally screwed him over lol. @/JustHereForDrama: He’s so media-trained. Wish he would just say what he actually thinks. ↳ @/McLarenStan: Or maybe he actually thinks Oscar deserved the win and doesn’t care about the radio stuff? @/HungaryGP2024: The real headline should be "Lando Norris beats Lewis Hamilton in an on-track battle," not whatever drama people are trying to stir up.

@/GridGossip: “He stood up when you lot wouldn’t.” 👀 Lando, bestie, you can’t just drop that and move on like it’s nothing. ↳ @/McLarenMafia: WHO didn’t have your back, Lando? Say names. ↳ @/F1Conspiracies: I wonder what that is about…and I have the bad feeling it’s the whole Lizzie situation… @/OversteerAndTea: So we’re all just supposed to ignore that Lando basically said McLaren didn’t back him up, huh? @/FormulaWhispers: What was going on behind the scenes that made Lando say that??? ↳ @/InsideThePaddock: Oscar has more backbone than people realize. Him going to bat for Lando is NOT nothing. @/F1InsiderTea: McLaren’s PR team is SWEATING right now. ↳ @/OrangeDrama: Like, are they just hoping we all move on??? Because I have QUESTIONS. @/PitWallMess: Oscar and Lando are such ride-or-dies for each other. It’s everyone else I’m side-eyeing. ↳ @/McLarenMasterplan: We need the full story. Spill, Lando. Spill. @/TeaAndTelemetry: Lando is never that blunt unless something seriously pissed him off. ↳ @/DataDorkF1: Oscar was the only one on his side and Lando made sure we knew it. That says A LOT.

@/DTSWriters: This better be a whole episode in the next Drive to Survive season because I NEED DETAILS.

@/OscarPiastriUpdates: This is the first time in history a driver has voluntarily unfucked a team’s strategy mid-race. Historic behavior.

@/TireDegEnthusiast: McLaren really thought they could manipulate their drivers like chess pieces and Lando just said ‘no ❤️’

@/F1TeaSpiller: This isn’t just about the race. That “Oscar stood up for me this week” line? Oh, Lando’s making a STATEMENT.

@/PurpleSectorStan: The way McLaren’s radio was DEAD SILENT after Lando gave Oscar the place back. They knew they fumbled.

****

The apartment was dimly lit when Lando stepped inside, exhaustion settling deep in his bones. He set his bag down by the door, stretching out his shoulders as he made his way toward the living room. Lizzie was curled up on the couch, her laptop open in front of her, but her fingers weren’t moving across the keyboard. Instead, she was watching him.

"Hey," he said, offering a weary smile as he settled down beside her. Her gaze trailed over him from head to toe, taking in every little detail. He'd never quite appreciated how perceptive she was before.

“Hey,” she said softly.

He leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes and exhaling. For a few moments, silence filled the space between them. He could hear the hum of the laptop’s fan, the distant sound of cars from outside, the sound of their breathing.

Finally, Lizzie spoke. “You were brilliant this weekend.”

He cracked an eye open, looking over at her. She was watching him with something akin to awe, her expression almost reverent. He wasn’t quite sure what he did to warrant that look. “Was I?” he asked, trying for nonchalance but lacking even half of the energy to pull it off.

"McLaren 1-2," she told him softly, one hand reaching out to cup his jaw and he leant into her touch.

Yes. McLaren 1-2.

Not thanks to the team.

"I watched everything," Lizzie admitted quietly. "The radio. The interviews."

Lando inhaled sharply but sighed. "Figured you would," he told her.

She ran her thumb over his cheekbone, a simple touch that made his exhaustion recede just a fraction. "You were incredible," she repeated softly. "Even when you were getting screwed over on strategy and had every reason to be angry, you just..." She exhaled. "You handled it so well. You were incredible."

She hesitated for a moment. "Did...McLaren didn't have your back." It wasn't a question.

It shouldn't surprise him and it didn't. Liz was too smart for her own good. Of course, she would pick up on that. Just like the press had picked up on it, even when he hadn't outright said what it was, that had happened...people weren't dumb. They would put together the pieces into something resembling the truth.

Still.

Lando sighed, running a hand down his face. "Liz-"

She shook her head. "I thought...I don't know, that maybe they just wanted to take their time to handle things after Silverstone. But that's not what happened, is it?" she asked him softly.

Lando clenched his jaw, looking away. He didn't know how to explain it without making her feel worse.

Lizzie’s voice was quieter when she spoke again. “Did they… did they try to stop you from saying anything?”

He swallowed, trying to figure out how to answer. “I-” he stopped, biting his lip. Honesty was the best option, wasn’t it? He took a deep breath.

“They tried. It was...it was a bit of a clusterfuck.”

Lizzie’s breath hitched slightly. “And Oscar?”

Lando huffed a small, almost amused breath. “He blackmailed them.”

Lizzie blinked. “What?”

"He told them that if they didn't release a statement condemning the abuse, he'd go back to tweeting like he did for Alpine," he recounted with a snort.

Lizzie stared at him before bursting into a fit of giggles. She covered her mouth, trying to keep herself from laughing. Her laugh was like music to his ears and some of the tension left him.

He grinned at her. “Yeah. And you know the funniest part?”

Lizzie shook her head, biting down on the edge of her hand to suppress a laugh. She looked adorable like that, her cheeks flushed from her little bout of giggles, and he was struck with the sudden urge to wrap her up in a tight hug. So he did.

She melted into his arms, burying her face against his shoulder, her giggles muffled. It took her a moment to regain her composure, and she gave a little sigh, pulling back just enough to look at him. “What's the funniest part?”

Lando grinned, shaking his head a little. “It worked.”

Lizzie stared at him, mouth parted.

“He actually threatened a multimillionaire team with Twitter,” Lando snickered. “He threatened to unleash an online world war and they caved like that.” He snapped his fingers, making her laugh again.

Lizzie ducked her head, her shoulders shaking with suppressed snickers. “Oh my God.”

Lando laughed helplessly, pulling her back toward him, wrapping his arms around her waist. She was warm, her body pressed flush against his. He took a deep breath, the scent of her filling his nostrils.

Lizzie grew quieter and looked at him. "Did...did they...was it because of me?"

Lando felt something twist in his chest. “What?”

She swallowed. “Did all of this—did they hesitate because of me? Because I’m the one people were targeting?”

Lando immediately reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly. “No. No, Liz, don’t do that. Don’t make this your fault.”

She looked down at their intertwined fingers. “It just… feels like I made everything harder for you.”

Lando’s grip tightened. “You didn’t. They did. The people who went after you, the ones who treated you like shit—they’re the problem. Not you. Never you.”

Lizzie let out a shaky breath. “I just… I didn’t want this to be a thing. I didn’t want you to have to put out a statement or make it worse—”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Lando interrupted, his voice firmer now. “You shouldn’t have to explain yourself, or justify your existence, or convince people that you’re worthy of basic human decency. That’s not your job.”

Lizzie bit her lip, still looking uncertain.

Lando exhaled. “Liz, Oscar didn’t do that because of you. He did it because it was the right thing to do. Just like I spoke up because it was the right thing to do. And if McLaren didn’t have our backs, then that’s on them. Not on you.”

Lizzie nodded slowly, eyes shining. “I just hate that you had to fight for it.”

Lando lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’d do it again if I had to.”

Lizzie let out a shaky laugh. “You’re stubborn.”

“You love it.”

She sighed. “I really, really do.”

He shifted a bit, pulling her onto his lap without thinking about it. She came without a second thought, settling on his thighs with ease. He wrapped his arms around her waist lightly, feeling the warmth of her seep into his skin.

She let out another shaky exhale, letting her head drop against his collarbone. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, wanting to soothe the worry out of her.

She felt so small in his arms. It made him want to cling to her, to shield her from the world and all of its bullshit. The urge to protect her was almost overwhelming.

"I made something while you were gone," she admitted, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

Lando quirked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Lizzie hesitated for a second before reaching behind one of the couch cushions. When she turned back, she was holding something small in her hands—something that made Lando blink in surprise before bursting into laughter.

It was a tiny crochet version of Oscar Piastri.

Complete with a McLaren race suit and a little black and orange Pirelli cap.

Lando took the tiny Oscar from her hands, holding it up to inspect it. “No way.”

Lizzie grinned, a little sheepish. “I was stress-crocheting. And, well… given everything, I thought it was fitting.”

Lando laughed again, shaking his head as he turned the little figure in his hands. “He’s gonna lose his mind when he sees this.”

Lizzie smirked. “You think?”

“Oh, definitely,” Lando said. “He’ll pretend he doesn’t care, but he’ll be secretly obsessed with it.”

Liz looked pleased with herself. She leaned in to get a better look at the little figure in his hand. "I think it might be my best one yet," she told him with a smile.

Lando grinned, gently placing the little crochet Oscar on the coffee table before pulling her close again. Lizzie went easily. She draped her arms around his shoulders, her legs resting on either side of his. She draped herself against him like she always does, her body melting into his.

It had been a long few weeks. But somehow, sitting there with Lizzie—holding something she made with care, thinking about the people who had stood by them—it didn’t feel quite so heavy anymore.

***

Lando should have realised that it was going to happen one of these days.

So he wasn't that surprised, when the door to the McLaren Sim room swung open, and Oscar stepped in with a purpose. He barely acknowledged the engineers outside, his usual easygoing demeanor absent. The door clicked shut behind him, and the air in the room felt heavier.

Lando spun around in his seat, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. Oscar’s eyes pinned him to the spot, laser-focused on his every move. Lando couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, but there was something serious in the set of his jaw and the gleam in his gaze.

“Hey,” Lando said cautiously. “What’s up?”

Oscar folded his arms, leaning against the wall. "I heard the radio."

Lando shifted in his seat, feeling the back of his neck prickle. “Yeah. That.”

Oscar didn't say anything, just watched him with a hawk-like gaze. It was making Lando’s nerves itch.

He cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice even. "So you heard all of it then, huh?"

Oscar nodded, his eyes never leaving Lando’s face. "Yeah. Every word."

Silence fell between them, thick and heavy. Lando fidgeted with the hem of his hoodie, his fingers drumming an anxious rhythm against the fabric. He knew Oscar was waiting for him to say something, but the words felt stuck in his throat.

Lando ran a hand down his face. “Look, mate—”

“I didn’t do anything special.”

Lando blinked, caught off guard by how bluntly Oscar said it. “What?”

Oscar pushed off the wall, shaking his head. “You made it sound like I did something extraordinary, like backing you and Lizzie was some massive thing. But it wasn’t, Lando. It was just the right thing to do.”

Lando didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stared at the dashboard of the sim rig, feeling the weight of the last few weeks pressing on his shoulders. “Look,” he finally said, “whether you think it was special or not, you had my back. And I need you to know that I’d do the same for you. Always.”

Oscar scoffed, almost amused. “I know that.”

“No, I mean it,” Lando insisted, standing up. “What happened in Hungary? That’s not how I want to race you. If I gain a position on you, I want it to be because I overtook you—not because the team screwed you over.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a small smirk. “Are you worried you won’t be able to overtake me without a little help?” he asked, a mocking tone in his voice.

Lando shot him a look. “You know that’s not what I mean, you muppet.”

Oscar rolled his eyes. "You know, It wasn’t exactly hard. Lizzie’s great. And you…” Oscar hesitated before adding, “You’re my teammate. That means something.”

Lando swallowed, something settling in his chest. “Yeah. It does.”

A moment passed, quiet but not tense. Then Lando leaned over, rummaging in his bag. “Anyway, I got you something.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “If this is some weird way to thank me, I swear—”

Lando pulled out a red-and-white packet and tossed it over.

Oscar caught it, glancing down. Tim Tams. His eyes immediately lit up. “No way.”

Lando grinned. “Figured your maiden win deserved a proper celebration.”

Oscar inspected the packet like it was the best gift he’d ever received. “Alright. You’re forgiven for embarrassing me on the radio.”

Lando smirked. “Knew that’d do the trick.”

Oscar was already tucking the Tim Tams under his arm when Lando pulled out something else.

“Oh, and—Lizzie made you this.”

He handed over a tiny crochet Oscar, decked out in a McLaren race suit with a perfectly detailed little Pirelli cap.

Oscar stared at it. “She made this?”

Lando nodded. “Yeah. She crochets when she’s stressed. Said she needed something to focus on.”

Oscar turned the tiny figure over in his hands, running a thumb over the stitches. It was absurdly detailed—clearly made with care.

“She really didn’t have to,” he muttered.

Lando shrugged. “You didn’t have to either. But here we are.”

Oscar glanced up, expression unreadable, before slipping the crochet figure into his pocket. “Well,” he said, smirking slightly, “at least I got Tim Tams out of it.”

Lando rolled his eyes. “Never doing anything nice for you again.”

Oscar tore open the packet, popping a biscuit into his mouth. “Sure, mate. Whatever you say.”

***

YouTube Transcript - Belgian Grand Prix Fan Stage 

Interviewer: "Lando, Oscar, after Hungary, there was a lot of speculation about your dynamic, especially with the radio messages and post-race comments. Can you clarify—was there any tension?"

Lando: [shrugging] "We talked. We’re fine."

Oscar: [grinning] "Yeah, Lando even got me Tim Tams and a tiny crochet Oscar, so I think that settles it."

Interviewer: [laughing] "A tiny crochet Oscar?"

Lando: [smirking] "Yeah. Well, technically, Liz got it for him. She crochets when she’s stressed, and I guess Hungary was stressful."

Oscar: [holding up a hand] "For the record, it’s actually very impressive craftsmanship. It even has little details on the race suit."

Lando: [mock serious] "Yeah, she put more effort into it than McLaren did into our strategy."

Oscar: [choking on a laugh] "Jesus, Lando."

Interviewer: [laughing] "Okay, so no hard feelings?"

Lando: [firmly] "Oscar deserved that win."

Oscar: [grinning] "And now I have a tiny yarn version of myself to prove it."

Interviewer: "Alright, good to know things are all settled!"

Comments: 

@/F1Fanatic99: Crochet Oscar is probably better at strategy calls than McLaren. Just saying.

@/GridGossip: Someone better crochet a tiny Lando next so they can be besties IRL and in yarn form.

@/WheelToWheel: If Oscar doesn’t start bringing Crochet Oscar to every race, we’re gonna have a problem.

@/McLarenUpdates: Crochet Oscar is just proof that Lizzie is the best thing to ever happen to the McLaren garage.

@/EpilepsyAwareness: Imagine explaining to someone in 2018 that F1 Fandom would one day be obsessed with a crocheted version of Oscar Piastri.

@/SilverstoneStan: Crochet Oscar is a cultural reset. Every driver needs a tiny yarn version of themselves.

@/SpeedDemon19: New F1 tradition: every race winner gets a crochet version of themselves. Make it happen, FIA.

@/McLarenSuperFan: The fact that Lizzie made that is so cute. She really said 'supporting my boyfriend and his bestie through yarn.

@/MaxsOrangeArmy: Oscar got a trophy AND a tiny crochet version of himself? Peak career moment.

@/PitStopChaos: Lando’s next merch drop better include tiny crochet drivers or I’m rioting.

@/ChaosInTurn1: Lizzie is out here supporting Oscar more than McLaren did. Queen behavior.

@/F1Wifey: McLaren strategists should fear the WAGs, they have more team loyalty than half the pit wall.

@/WheelToWheelGirl: The fact that Lizzie crocheted through the McLaren strategy disaster is sending me. How much yarn do you think she used during Hungary?

@/RacingLogic: Oscar acting like a proud dad over his little crochet Oscar is the most wholesome thing to come out of this entire mess.

@/ToxicMcLarenFan: I NEED TO SEE THE TINY CROCHET OSCAR, PLEASE, OSCAR, I AM BEGGING.

@/SilverstoneElite: McLaren PR scrambling to figure out how to monetize Crochet Oscar as we speak.

@/PaddockInsider: Not Lando shading McLaren’s strategy while handing out handcrafted emotional support Oscars.

@/PitLaneDrama: The way Oscar is so proud of his tiny crochet self… we need a picture IMMEDIATELY.

@/FIAConspiracyTheories: Okay but McLaren better start strategizing as well as Lizzie crochets.

@/FastAndFearless: Petition for Lizzie to start selling crochet F1 drivers because I NEED ONE. @/McLarenPanicDepartment: Lando: ‘She crochets when she’s stressed.’ How much yarn does she go through dating him???@/MaraForPresident: LIZZIE MADE OSCAR A TINY CROCHET OSCAR??? SHE’S THE REAL MVP.

[thhouseofblack]

round 2 of odysseus commentating during the events of the iliad sports commentator-esque because I can't stop myself~

part 1

"Menelaus grabs him by the helmet, DRAGS him across the battlefield like he's an unpaid intern - but OH! Aphrodite steps in with the divine clutch! She swipes Paris out of the fight faster than you can say ‘coward with abs’ and poofs him back to Helen’s boudoir. And listen - I know what you’re thinking, but no, Helen and Paris are NOT relationship goals. That’s not love, that’s god-sponsored codependency!"

"Naturally we press him for info - standard interrogation tactics, nothing too extreme of course. And what’s this? Dolon spills EVERYTHING. No hesitation. No bluffing. He’s giving away Hector’s strategy, spicy details on the Trojan camp, and even directions to the Thracian allies. Folks, this is what we call a game-changing turnover! Just an absolute FAILURE on defense from the Trojans!"

"This just in - Achilles is still on the bench, deep in his ‘no war, no friends, no bitches, only sulk’ era, burrito-ing - no don't ask me what a burrito is. But Patroclus has entered the chat! He’s asking to wear his armour, folks. That’s right - man just pulled a full ‘Can I wear your hoodie?’ except the hoodie is a legendary set of god made armour - NO DON'T ASK ME WHAT A HOODIE IS. Anyway, Achilles unsurprisingly agrees - but says, quote, ‘Don’t go too hard, babe.’ I mean, ‘dear friend.’ Very normal. Totally heterosexual battlefield banter. Diomedes and I do it all the time trust!"

"We’re live back on the Achaean Airtime, folks, and it’s the showdown we’ve all been waiting for - Menelaus vs. Paris, husband vs. homewrecker, Softboy with a sweet smile vs Slut of the decade- OKAY FINE I'll focus Agamemnon. Menelaus comes in HOT, swinging like a man who just walked in on his wife with the guy who was on a stripping pole two minutes ago. Paris, meanwhile, shows up in a leopard print cloak. Bold move, my guy. Bold move."

"Achilles? Crying. Priam? Crying. The gods? Crying. Me? Probably crying too - but that's cause I miss my wife. This is the most emotionally-mature move Achilles has made in the ENTIRE war!"

"And folks, let’s address the very unfounded rumours going around in the Achaean camp. Some of you out there seem to think that just because Diomedes and I work in perfect synchronization, communicate with a single glance, and trust each other with our lives, that there’s something... EXTRA going on here. But let me be VERY clear - this is PURELY professional chemistry! Just two warriors, out on a mission, under the stars, bodies moving in tandem, breathing as one - WAIT, I MEAN - Forget that last part! POINT IS: No romance here! Absolutely none! Not even a little bit! LET'S MOVE ON."

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

You know what would make the Lucky Charm more balanced? Make it so that there are times where other characters figure it out, not just Ladybug. That way, it doesn't make Ladybug hypercompent and makes it possible for other people to save the day.

I don't mind Ladybug being the one best suited to Lucky Charm. I don't think it makes her hyper competent because you don't need a Lucky Charm to save the day. It's just the way that she saves the day. The other characters should have their own unique talents that let them win fights. Generally speaking, that's how strong teams work.

For a random example, let's talk about the teenage mutant ninja turtles simply because I think most people know something about that franchise. The character Donatello (aka Donnie) is the team's tech guy. He makes all kinds of inventions that help them save the day. The show would not be improved if all four of the turtles were able to take on this inventor role. I'd argue that it would actually be lessened because the characters would become interchangeable. This is something that the franchise seems to agree with as each version of the show gives each turtle unique skills and personality traits that makes each of them indispensable in their own way, which is what I think Miraculous should have done with the temp heroes.

That being said, I do think that there's a way to make your idea work. I'd just go a slightly different, more lore balancing route since Lucky Charm is technically bad lore and you all know how I feel about bad lore. So let's talk about giving it a minor tweak and how I think that would actually improve things.

Tikki is supposed to be Creation, not Luck, so the Lucky Charm shouldn't have anything to do with Luck. It should just be pure Creation where the holder comes up with a thing they want and that thing then pops up. It could also have a give and take element where the holder gets what they asked for if they want something specific, but they could also just call the power as a hail Mary and Tikki would come up with something on the fly, leading to the occasional puzzle.

This leads me to my proposed changed.

I personally think it would be hilarious and honestly more fun for Marinette's character if she could summon anything she wanted, but the Lucky Charms stay exactly the same because that's just how her mind works. Even when Tikki is helping, it's still all wacky items because Tikki knows how Marinette is and just goes with it.

For example, in Copy Cat, Ladybug turns a spoon into a hook for a cobbled together fishing pole. Wouldn't it be even funnier if Marinette summoned a spoon on purpose because she was thinking of the makeshift thing she cobbled together in order to fish up something she dropped from her balcony? Then, post fight, Chat Noir praises her like always, only to then ask, "So why a spoon and not a fishing hook?" And Ladybug just stares at him because oh, right, those are things they make. She could have done that. Ooops.

And in Malediktator where she summons a sniper rifle to get a laser pointer? Well, she was thinking about this silly comic about a cat assassin! She totally spaced on the fact that you could just get a laser pointer by itself.

Eventually, her team learns to just go with it and not ask questions. Meanwhile, the general public thinks that the Lucky Charm is some random item that Ladybug has to figure out and no one bothers to correct this misunderstanding. You can even have a running gag of new team members learning the truth and going through the acceptance process of, "Hey, you try thinking up how to set a trap while a 5 meter tall lollipop is trying to crush you! Your mind goes to what it knows, not to the ideal solution, okay???"

If we go with this setup, then other people can wield the Ladybug and use Lucky Charm effectively, they'll just use it in a very different way from the way Marinette uses it. There will also be people who are just not suited to the Ladybug since that was initially how the powers were supposed to work and it made perfect sense. Kwamis should have ideal holders along with okay backups and terrible backups. I personally think Alya would be an okay backup since she's creative, but not creative in the same way Marinette is, leading her to be a lesser Ladybug. Adrien, on the other hand, should generally suck at the Ladybug as he simply doesn't have that style of creative thinking. Which is fine. Better than fine, even! You don't want your characters to be interchangeable! They should all have strengths and weaknesses!

This is one of the show's big flaws. Since everything is on Marinette's shoulders, the other characters rarely get a chance to shine and so they feel interchangeable. For example, if gift always shows the target what THEY want, then why does Rose need to be the one to wield it? Juleka could wield it just as easily. And if Ladybug is generally the one telling Marc and Nathaniel what to summon with their powers, then their creativity is not needed. Anyone could wield the rooster and the goat! The show has completely failed to understand what makes teams memorable and so we have a bloated, boring team whose presence I'm dreading because they had five seasons to set these guys up and yet here we are.

[robolvrr]

galaxy girl ༉‧₊˚.

long way from home? you must be awfully lonely.

[ donations : open! ]

swerve/rewind/whirl x gn! fem camgirl warnings: nsfw!

it's an accident.

ultra magnus had pretty much declared no "contraband" allowed aboard, unless it was bought ethically and consumed ethically. whatever that meant.

"it's in the guidelines", he'd said. "and we can't just abandon the rules. it's what prevents this place from caving into vicious decline."

in short? "don't have fun guys. i'm a giant pole in the mud."

so it wasn't all that surprising when that got thrown out the window. it was usually little things. some other-planetary historical junk. doo-dads and whatchamacallits. brainstorm had a terrible habit of smuggling shit that no doubt would actually blow up the place.

when swerve started suggesting smuggling entertainment, in efforts to of course make the bar a little more interesting, not many disagreed. granted he has to keep it a total secret (though we all know the ships gossip can only keep his mouth shut a cycle a time.)

from the sound of it? he's found something good.

"now listen. i paid an arm and a servo for this, so i better not hear any complaints. don't ask me how i got to work - because i don't know!"

a groan cuts through his speech. whirl chitters in his seat, banging the table.

"get on with it! i don't have all night to hear you toot your own pipes."

swerve doesn't even crinkle his smile.

"oh cmon, don't be like that pal. you guys don't even know what i have!" he turns around, bent behind the bar top as he rummages through belongings.

he's gotten a mildly entertained "first viewership party" consisting of whirl, rewind, aaaaaand...

well. the others weren't too interested in one on one time, all making up great excuses to just "wait until it's ready."

a thin, screened device is plopped onto bar top.

rewind stares.

"... a geriatric electronic. swerve wow you've.. you've really outdone yourself there."

his frown turns to a pout and he moves it away before whirl has a chance to crush it.

"hey. don't say that. it's not the device, it's what's on the device. i'm talking connections outside the species. full, galactic communication. for free!"

rewind looks a little dubious. "i don't know. you've been scammed before. what if it doesn't work-"

"rewind, buddy, i love you, really, i do. but that last time doesn't count because i was totally given some very misleading information---"

whirls servos jolt forward with frustrated ease. he almost yanks the poor thing wide open.

"will ya both stop yapping my processor off! just show the damn thing! i am missing out on prime wrecker -"

the screen finally lights up. the trio quiet down, and it's funny, because they have to crowd around the smaller screen and there's some shoving and grumbling before they can actually see. it opens up to a "browser" - that's what the broker called it.

a used "laptop" but working functionally and much less sophisticated than any of the other tech they frequently used. wasn't a surprise they were so advanced compared to their spacial neighbors.

the browser had a chat pinned at the right. some of the language was understandable but most was not. either way it was moving too fast and that wasn't what was catching attention either.

it was you.

you look to be in a room. berthroom?

"bedroom", swerve corrected rewind quietly. what? he's seen enough movies.

it's pale and pink and soft. lacking alloy, or hard surfaces. it's so painfully.. soft looking. and you are too. your hair is pinned up and there's something small and cylinder strapped to the inside of your thigh. the wire is taped. your face is partially hidden under a thin mask, though your nose and lips are visible. lace and sheer mesh plaster your frame.

"... is that a fragging fleshie."

swerve bites his servo. oh primus, what did he buy?!?

"uh. it appears it is."

whirl squints. his golden optic trains on the movement you provide. how your fingers trail up your waist. when you tap back to your viewers on the keyboard, giving cheeky laughs and little looks down your cleavage.

"... she's tiny. could probably squeeze her and she'd yelp like a turbo fox."

rewind shifts uncomfortable. leave it to whirl to make things weird.

"that's what you're focusing on? not the fact that swerve just smuggled on. organic porn onto the ship?!"

swerve shushes them both, loud. he feels admittedly a little hot under his visor. you're not looking at them, it's not how the camera works - you are broadcasting yourself. but it certainly feels like you've got that coquette, impish gaze all for him, sighing soft and starting to move your hips. he's not a prude.

he's seen plenty of those human movies and some of them had the species interfacing thrown in. it's all acting, though.

this feels raw. feels like he's being a little pervert voyeur.

suddenly, he has the urge to go back to his habsuite and loosen his modesty panels some. they feel tight.

"you like that, sunshines?"

amidst the baffled bickering, your voice coyly whispers and tugs their attention, forces their heads to turn. you got closer to your camera, turning around until your knees rest on the pillow.

neither of them can even describe what they're looking at. you don't have a spike, and your valve looks nothing like any cybertronian. but it's wet and pink and messy. there's something pink plugging up the other hole too. it's got that same, soft fluff as your nightgown at the end. whirl's knee hits the table hard.

"you guys have all been so good for me. i think it's high time you get your rewards. i love when i can make you all happy. mmn.."

several dings blast the speakers. the device on your thigh buzzes. you sing the prettiest note of pleasure any of them have ever had the millions of years to experience.

your face goes into the pillow. every donation is met with whimpers and thank yous and whiny support.

"primus. oh my.. geez. frag. she's so... it's so flexible. you're recording this right? rewind, tell me you are."

"i am, swerve, shush!"

you look so cute. they can't explain why.

maybe it's because you know most of the viewers aren't your kind, but your smaller frame is still just as enticing. your skin glistens as you kick your legs, overwhelmed. stockings peel down and it's about the sexiest thing since wireplay.

"yoooo, swerve!"

the three mechs almost yell in unison. the laptop is shut hard. swerve is the first to turn around. his smile looks dopey and he sucks at lying.

"heyyyyyyy. heyyyyyy. do what do i owe the pleasure, captain? didn't ya hear? opening hours changed for today!"

rodimus quirked a brow-ridge. weird. "uh-huh. did you? sorry, didn't know." didn't remember. he probably wasn't listening. "hoo, anyways. i need you to look into hosting an event. you see, there's been some in-fighting with the crew."

"how awful!" swerves dentae grits. his smile is bordering painful. rodimus pats his shoulder and the last thing he wants is to be touched by anyone when his spike is threatening to chub.

"yeah, i know. lack of camaraderie just won't do. makes a spark hurt, you know? so, i had a brilliant idea. you are gonna host a party. a big one! one that not even ultra magnus can question, because he'll be invited. unfortunately."

"super!" by the stars above, strike him down now!

"see, i knew you were the minibot for the job. i dunno why they always complain about you."

"shucks, thanks -- wait what?"

rodimus continues. whirl has long stalked off but from the sound of crunching metal on his exit, he's just as pissed that he's gotten a bit of a spike kill. or maybe he's just mad a flesh bag has gotten him riled up. probably both.

but one thing is painfully clear. this?

best purchase of his life.

[ddejavvu]

MEIMEIMEI

skinny little bean pole hiccup (still love u hiccup) with a curvy girl

i’m talking his thigh is the size of her arm. her boobs are the size of his entire face. his head gets quite literally buried between her thighs when he eats her out.

it's not meant to be a cop out when i say that i think he'd really love curvy girls. maybe it's cause i'm one myself, maybe this is just self-serving but i think it's true. first off, it's canon that most of the people on berk are not astrid or hiccup sized, he literally tells his dad that maybe they could afford to starve one winter 😭 but despite his snarkiness i think that it's just not something that's as scrutinized there as it is here. He doesn't look at it as dating a 'plus-sized girl' like you're literally just his girlfriend. if he's dating you he's in love with you and all of you is included, simple as that. but even if it's something that's not emphasized or abnormal on berk, i still think he takes the time to appreciate it.

'his thigh is the size of her arm' YEAH. yeah okay wow i'm sweating a little bit. based on his and astrid's relationship he seems to be the type of guy who definitely falls for girls that could beat him up <3 he definitely looks at the way his scrawny little thigh is about the same size around as just one of your ARMS and he's squirming tbh. it's getting him a little hot and bothered.

'her boobs are the size of his entire face' THIS because he's def taking boob naps. He's definitely taking boob naps and he doesn't think about it when he lays down but then he cracks his eyes open to readjust and BAM. he realizes that he's sort of dwarfed here. he's just so enamored with it. he loves how thick your thighs are, how thick your arms are, how thick your stomach is, how you juxtapose his 'fishbone' frame. he kind of takes pride in it, too. like, the entire village has been mocking him for being skinny and scrawny for his whole life, but he's taken the hand of a thick girl who's got thighs that could suffocate him. he's proud to be seen out around the village with you, he doesn't exactly ascribe to the less-than-healthy implications of showing you off like you're something he owns, instead he'll lead you around to show off that he gets to be with you, that he chose you and you chose him too.

The thigh bit is so real. first of all he loves how warm and soft your thighs are, especially when he's pinned between them. A fire roaring in the fireplace, its warmth licking at his back, and he's kneeling by the bed with his face buried between your thighs. he loves grabbing handfuls of your flesh and working his face into your cunt, he loves hooking his arms around your legs and pushing them inwards so that he's enveloped between them. he loves taking breaks to let himself breathe, to let you prolong your pleasure, he loves panting as he noses his way up your stomach to kiss at your belly fat and run his hands all over it. It's sensual, love-based like everything that he does, and it makes you feel so divine.

he loves laying with you/hugging you/any sort of physical contact and not in a weird, backhanded 'you're like a giant marshmallow 🥺' kind of way, it's just so clearly love to him. no sharp angles, he doesn't feel like he's going to break you if he loves you too hard, he can sink into a hug with you and feel totally, completely secure and loved and warm. it's everything synonymous with love in his mind and he adores just laying there and soaking in it with you. he feels so genuinely happy standing beside you, letting your hand hold his and letting everyone see you enjoying being with him.

he's gonna love putting his hands all over you. grabbing at your thighs, grabbing at your arms, grabbing at your sides, grabbing at your hips, grabbing at your stomach, grabbing at your shoulders, any part of you that he can get his hands on. he'll make grabbing parts of you sexy that you've never considered sexually before. he'll grab your arm and use it to move you during sex. he'll hang on to your stomach briefly while you're on all fours. He'll bury his face in your shoulder, maybe even bite it a little, he'll kiss up your neck and nestle his nose into your chin. he has a way of turning even chaste body parts into something to appreciate during sex.

[echantedtoon]

Turbo/King Candy x Jessica Rabbit Like S/o Headcannons

This was a request a friend really wanted from me so here it is for anyone else to enjoy.

TURBO:

-You're a flag girl for a racing game similar to Outrun or Pole Position (both 80s racing games) although the big difference was that your game wasn't as popular as Turbotime so there wasn't really any reason for the guy to be jealous of the competition. At least not until Road Blasters but that's jumping the gun a little bit.  

-You don't exactly meet each other until you finally decided to leave your game one day to go join others at Tapper's for the anniversary of Litwak's arcade opening or some similar celebration that many other games were celebrating. Of course your taller than the average video game women height and body type would turn some heads and the smaller racer was no exception. 

-Dude literally has to strain his neck for a double take just to be sure he was seeing things from the amount of surgery root beer he's consumed by now. But once he confirms that you actually exist- MAN. IS. SMITTEN. ON. SIGHT!! I'm talking about the guy chokes on his drink as you gorgeously smile his way even if you weren't smiling at him, just his general direction, but it gives him enough confidence to make his move. 

-He starts by buying you a drink, Tapper setting it right in front of you, before this tiny man gracefully struggled to climb onto the stool next to you slicking his helmet back like it was hair, and giving you a sly smile. "Hey, Baby.~ Are you a parking ticket?~ Cuz you got FINE written all over you?~"

-If it doesn't work out the first time be prepared for MANY 80s pick up lines including- "If I had to rate you from one to ten I'd give you a nine because I'm the one you need." "Hey. I'm writing a phone book. Can I have your number to put in it?" "Hey, Doll face. Wanna get physical?~" And other similar ones not considered cringey quite yet.

-He's pretty egotistical in personality so expect him to brag about everything involving him to you. His trophies, his winning streak, how his game's the most popular in the arcade, how he totally beats the Turbotime Twins in everything- Did he mention that he's also the greatest racer ever? He's trying to prove how much you should be smitten too often inviting you to come view him race.

-He secretly daydreams about you being the one that waves the checkered flag upon him crossing the finish line and plastering him in affection with him showing off to the world. Gold trophy in one hand while holding a beautiful woman in the other. Everyone knows his deep crush on you. 

-Remember when Felix and Calhoun kissed and little hearts appeared? Yeah. That happens every time he thinks about you or he happens to see you in Grand Central Station or Tapper's. Other's make fun of him for that a lot and he absolutely hates it and denied it every time but everyone and their programmers know about his crush. It's super obvious by this point.

-If by some reason you do happen to date him expect him to brag about having the most beautiful girlfriend in the entire arcade. "Hey, Pac-Man. How's Mrs. Pac-Man? Guess what?! My girlfriend's hotter than that yellow beachball reject!!" You're going to have to stop him from opening his mouth before Pac-Man tries to eat him again and he was very close to Mario just goomba stomping him after he insulted Princess Peach/Toadstool. Please stop this idiot from insulting everyone's wife before someone punts him back to Turbotime.

-He's not picky about personality and would genuinely love you but he'd be very happy if you were able to knock him down a peg(he thinks it's hot his girl can kick his behind-) or two. If you pick him up he'll also fight against it and complain the entire time you hold him, but ngl he's actually very into it. He has a thing for taller women after all...Even if he hates it when you tease him or hold things out of his reach.

-However one of the downsides of you deciding to pursue the relationship with him is his jealousy. Doesn't matter who's approaching you, if Turbo's around he always gives them a death glare that can put Bowser's fire breath to shame. So some game characters might avoid you because of that temper. And if someone were to flirt with you- Overprotective guard dog with rabies he is. Don't underestimate him because of his height. More than once he's started a bar fight at Tapper's over someone getting too close or attempting to make unwanted advances especially if you had already said no. 

-Don't underestimate him because of his height. More than one person has had a personal experience with Turbo turning into an angry honey badger infested with rabies as he was provoked.  People have learnt quickly to not make fun of his height, and to not try any funny business around you. More than once you'd have to pry him off someone and walk away with him tucked under your arm screaming profanities like a crazy Chihuahua.

KING CANDY:

-IK he's just Turbo in disguise but his personality shift in his KC disguise is notable enough to be different from how OG Turbo would go about it. However like OG Turbo once he sees you he's absolutely smitten by you. Unlike OG Turbo however his approach to you is much more normal if by normal having a guy with Tinkerbell shoes shuffle up to you and tell you how much your eyes remind him of sparkling rock candy.

-Honestly this pairing gives more of the Jessica and Rodger Rabbit vibes. Goofy little man with a gorgeous knockout GF. His goofball charms and shyer attempts at courting you are probably what got you falling for this man in the beginning.

-Instead of eyeing your form like many others, this man instead decides to court you in the most cheesy ways possible. Bringing you chocolates and other candy from his game(it's not like there's a limited amount of  it). Flowers (specifically either chocolate roses or edible flowers arrangements). Love notes, those really cheesy ones that don't even rhythm but they're so sweet you don't mind. 

-Mans loves you endlessly and will spend hours just gazing at you with literal heart eyes with hearts popping around his head. Very sweet alongside being goofy. Surprisingly a romantic too. Offers to drive you around on the back of his car. Plans at least one date that has you both sharing two straws in one milkshake. If he's feeling really romantic then he gets you those Valentine's hard candies shaped like hearts or those red lollipops also shaped like hearts. He even dedicates his wins to you in an attempt to impress you.

-Speaking of- He's very much the Rodger Rabbit of your relationship. Always gazing goofily at you with a love struck grin to the point Sour Bill has caught him daydreaming of you all lovestruck with a dopey grin. He's a king so anything you want in Sugar Rush is at your disposal. Want a glass of chocolate milk? How about a front row seat to watch the races? Would you like Sour Bill as a personal servant? Sour Bill completely disagrees with that last gesture.

-You once agreed to be a flag girl for one of the Random Roster Races, ironically one HE won, and when you gave him a winner's kiss he's been begging you to wave the checkered flag at other races too.

-Very sweet and energetic. If his goofy antics aren't making you giggle or smile, he's always flirting with you with cheesy puns since he's a guy who loves a play on words. "Are you a piece of cake? Custh you're the scheetest.~" "What's sweet and curvy? A candy cane of courseth but you're better.~" "Your voice is more beautiful than golden honey.~" "Did you sit in sugar? C-Cuzth that's -...Gumdrops! Forget what I said." He tried being more bold but ended up becoming too flustered and couldn't finish that last bit.

-You're going to get lots of cute candy nicknames. Honey. Sugar. Honeypie. Gumdrop. Angel cake. Cupcake. Sweetheart. Sweet cheeks. Tootsie pop. When he's feeling more romantic or sentimental he'll call you more special names like My Dear, Darling, My Queen, etc. 

-When you pick him up and kiss him he just melts in your arms. Giving a loud 'HOHO!' as you press kisses to his cheeks and forehead leaving him a bright cherry red and kiss marks all over his face. The first time that happened it left him just staring off into space blue screened but now he just blushes all over and this just might be his new favorite thing ever!

-If he ever proposes to you it's either going to be with one of those ring pops or with a gem made of the shiniest rock candy he can find.

[writtenbyan-aries]

Summary: Anon request on tumblr - "can you do a jake x poll dancer smut?"

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, pole dancer!y/n, cocky!y/n, mentions of working in a strip club, breaking club rules, semi public, sneaky, unprotected sex, hair pulling, biting, scratching, general filth

Word count: 2.9k | not edited really

Also, I fucking LOVE writing these ones because it makes me feel like I could totally be a stripper, so thank you to whoever sent this is to me.

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"Ladies and gentlemen.." The DJ announces to grab everyone's attention, "Welcome to The Cave, where our number one priority is to make sure you have a good time, if not, then the best time!

A small smirk toys with your lips as you know your stage name is about to be announced.

"Please, without further ado, give it up for Sinderella."

Your song that you chose for openings tonight’s show, Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman, starts blasting through the speaking, mixing in with the cheers and whistles of the desperate men ready to try and get your attention.

You emerge from behind the curtain, a huge smile on your face as you walk over to the pole. You wrap one hand around it, walking around it as the song builds up.

Your eyes scan over the crowd surrounding the stage, one guy in particular catches your attention.

You give him a smirk as your eyes meet his and you lift yourself up, wrapping one leg around the pole as you lean back.

You slide down, squatting down as you move around to the beat of the song. You turn around, crawling over to the edge of the stage, stopping right in front of the guy that caught your attention.

Your eyes scan up his tattooed skin as you reach out, tangling your fingers into his hair and pulling slightly as the lyrics, “..she likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth..” play loudly through the club.

He smirks and looks up at you, watching as you spin around and tilt your head back, looking at him upside down.

You bite your lip, spinning away from him, ass towards him as you crawl back to the pole. You stand up, lifting yourself up to spin around, doing a split in the air.

You smile as money gets tossed your way from everyone around the stage.

You move back down, crawling over to a random guy off to the side during the one bridge of the song. You get on your knees, hooking the straps of your red thong and pulling them outward as the song plays, “Red thong, party's on, love this song, sing along..”

You bite your lip as you spread your legs, bouncing up and down slightly as you give a little way to the guy during, “.. see you later back at home..”

You get up, walking back to the pole and dancing against it. Your eyes travel back to the guy with the dark hair and tattoos and you walk towards him, turning at the last second to go to the other side of the stage.

You glance back at him, smirking as you see him shake his head as he mouths, “Tease.”

You look away, tilting your head as you lock eyes with another guy, dragging your hands up your body, “..she's naughty to the end..”

You grip the edge of the stage, leaning forward so a guy can stuff a few ones in the strap of your very sheer bra.

“Thank you.” You smile and move down the stage on your hands and knees, flipping your hair, moving to shake your ass to the beat of the song.

You were having complete fun with it, until you went back to the guy.

You were assuming his friend was right next to him, so you lean out, grabbing the loose tie that was around his neck and pulling him into you as you lean back.

You push your chest out, flipping your hair as you let go of the tie. You move back, mouthing along to the lyrics as you slowly crawl towards the guy, “.. But does it make her wrong to have the time of her life?..”

You sit up straight, staring down at his hand reaching up to slip a twenty into the tiny strap of your thong.

Your eyes move up to his, “Thank you, baby.”

He nods, “Anything for my favorite dancer.” He winks, sending a kaleidoscope of butterflies through you.

You smile and move back to the pole to finish out the song. You spin, twirl, twist, and bend around it. As the song ends, the DJ comes back onto the mic, “Thank you, darlin’. Everyone give it up for Sinderella.”

You smile, bowing before going around to collect your money. You reach out, taking the loose ones from the hands of the men, giving them a cute smile as you thank them.

You walk back through the curtain, “Good luck, Sugar.” You smile at the next girl getting ready to go out and she scoffs, “Please. After that? I’ll need it. You were incredible, as always.”

You smile, “Thank you.” You hear the DJ announce her and you squeeze her shoulder, “You’re going to kill it.”

She disappears out onto the stage and you walk back to the dressing room to change into something different. You opt for a very skimpy all black one piece that just barely covers your nipples.

You switch your heels to Lacey black ones and fluff your hair one last time before making your way out to the floor.

Your head immediately turns towards the stage, but not to look at Sugar spinning around the pole.

You were looking for him.

“Sinderelly. Sinderelly.” One of your regulars comes up to you, taking your hand to spin you around so he can get a full view of you, “Got time for a private dance?”

He holds up three hundred dollar bills and you sigh, giving him a smile, “Of course I can.” You lead him back to the private rooms, pulling the curtain closed.

“Two songs like usual?” You turn around, walking around to lay your hand on his chest. He chuckles, “I wish, sweetheart. But I have an early flight tomorrow, so we’ll just make it one for tonight.”

“Where are you flying to?” You walk around to the front, slowly bending down as you sit on his lap.

“Barbados. Business, you know?” His eyes rake up and down your body, “Is this new?” He asks referring to your little outfit.

“Sure is.” You lean your back against his chest and move your hips against him.

You couldn’t help but think of how soft that guys hair was when you laced your fingers in it.

How his eyes followed you as you moved around on the stage.

The way he made your skin tingle when he brushed his fingers against your skin to tuck the money into the band of your panties.

You wanted him, needed him.

And you decided right then and there that you were going to be the ones to break the rules.

As the song ends, you stand up, turning around to face the gentleman in the chair, “I hope your trip goes well.”

He hands you the three hundred dollars and smiles, “I’ll definitely have to come back and tell you how it was.”

You nod, pointing to him after taking the money, “I’ll be holding you to it, honey.” You open the curtain, allowing him to walk out first, “Have a good night.”

He looks back at you as he walks towards the exit, “I will now.” He winks and you smile as he leaves.

You walk around the club, saying hi to other people you see in there all the time. As your leaned forward on the one table, your eyes lock onto the friend of the guy you can’t stop thinking about.

He smirks and nudges him, nodding towards you. He turns around, looking directly at you with a smile on his lips. You see him tell his friend that he’ll be right back, but you were going to make sure it wouldn’t be for a while.

“See you guys later.” You smile at the guys and walk around the table. You put one hand on your hip, smiling as he walks up to you, “Hey.”

“Hey.” He smirks and tilts his head, “So I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Likewise.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you nod. You can tell his wheels were turning about whether or not you were just saying that because it was your job, or if you actually meant it.

You lean in, “Interested in a private dance?”

“Oh boy, you bet I am.” He nods with a slight laugh and you smile as you take his hand into yours, “Follow me.”

You glance back at him as he gives his friend a thumbs up. You shake your head laughing as you lead him to the room all the way in the back, “So what’s your name, baby?”

He walks in, sitting down in the large velvety chair, “Jake.”

“Jake.” You repeat as you shut the curtain behind you, “It’s very nice to meet you.” You walk over, dragging your hand over his chest as you walk in a circle around him.

“What did you think of my turn on the stage, Jake?” You sit in his lap, facing him with your hands on his shoulders.

He rests his arms out on the arms of the chair, “You want my honest answer?”

You nod as you move your hips to the beat or the song, “Please.” You lean in, brushing your lips against his neck and you can feel him swallow hard, “I um..” he clears his throat, shifting around under you, “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He tilts his head back, looking up at you as you lean up, “Yeah? Well thank you, I really put my all into those kind of shows.”

He smirks, “You definitely had my attention.”

“Oh I know I did.” You laugh slightly and sigh as you stand up, turning around to sit in his lap, “So tell me, Jake.” You lean back against his chest, “You have a girlfriend that doesn’t know you’re here? Or does? I don’t know if you’re into that kind of thing.”

He chuckles, rubbing his fingers together, “No, no. I am as single as a dollar bill, Sinderella.” He tilts his head, “How’d you come up with that name anyway?”

You stand up, turning around to face him. You lay your hands his knees and bend down, “I spell it Sin as in..” you look up at him, “S. I. N.”

His brow twitches, “Yeah?”

You nod, “And.. because I like to live like there’s no midnight..” You move back to straddling him, your boobs right in front of his face and his eyes are locked on them.

“That’s..” he takes a breath, “Creative.”

You’re not only teasing him at this point, you’re teasing yourself.

“You can touch me.” You whisper, “It’s okay.”

He’s hesitant at first, “I really don’t want to get out time cut short by getting thrown out of here.” He chuckles and you slide your hands up his mesh covered chest, “As long as we’re quiet.. there’s no need to be thrown out.”

He tilts his head, “You do this with all your guests that come back her with you?”

You shake your head as you slide your hands down his arms, “Nope. I’m a good girl. I always follow the rules. But..” you guide his hands to your hips and you lean in, “You’re the first person I want to break the rules for.”

“Fucking hell.” He groans lowly as you grind down onto his growing bulge. You drag your nails up his arm and lay a hand on the side of his neck, “What do you say Jake? Still can’t get me off your mind?”

He smirks, a chuckle following behind, “If we’re doing this, I should get to know your real name.”

“Do you want to do this?” You ask and he instantly nods his head, “Fuck, yeah.”

“Y/n.” You say with no hesitation, “Nice to meet you.” You smile and lean in to close the space between your lips and his.

His hands slide down, gripping your ass, moving you to give him some sort of friction. A low groan leaves his lips as you bite down on his bottom lip and tilt your head back.

He kisses back your jaw and down to your neck, “You are so fucking sexy.”

You smile as you close your eyes, biting your lip to hold back your moans as he sucks on your neck, “No marks, Jake.” You lean back and he smirks, “Right. Sorry. Forgot that we’re a secret.”

You slide your hands down his chest, undoing the belt on his jeans so you can undo them and push his zipper down.

You lift up slightly so you can reach in, pulling him from his boxers, “You’re so big.” You bite your lip as you stroke him a few times.

He smirks and licks his lips, “Thanks. I’m pretty confident in it.” He chuckles but stops as soon as you rub the tip against your already slick folds.

You spit onto the tip of your fingers, reaching down to coat the tip of his cock with it, “You should be.” You smile and bite down on your lip hard as you slowly start to sink down onto him.

His fingers dig into your skin, tilting his head back as you grip the chair behind him, “Fuck, Jake.” You lean in, whimpering as you roll your hips, “needed you so bad.”

He turns his head, kissing the corner of your mouth, “So fucking wet.”

You turn your head, crashing your lips onto his as you slide a hand to lay on the back of his head, fingers lacing into his soft, dark hair.

You clench around him, already wanting to cum for him.

His hands guide you up and down on his cock, groaning lowly and fighting to stay as quiet as he can.

“My shift ends in two hours.” You breathe out, “Give me a ride home?”

Jake nods quickly, “As long as you promise to ride me just like this when we get there.”

“Deal.” You moan out quietly, “Fuck.” You bury your face into his neck, whimpering as you clench around him, “Cum for me, y/n.”

Jake using your real name sends you over the edge. Your nails dig into the couch as your other hand pulls his hair.

You clench your jaw and you rock against his cock, guiding yourself through the high or your orgasm. You kiss up his neck to his lips.

Your lips move in sync as he slowly and subtle as possible, thrusts his hips upward, “Never made a girl cum that fast before.”

You giggle slightly, “Now ya have.”

He tilts his head back before sliding a hand up to move the tiny straps covering your nipples. He looks down, eyes scanning over your boobs before staring down at his cock going in and out of you in the red light of the room.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking close.” He looks up at you, “Where do you want me?”

“I’ll swallow.” You whisper, “Just tell me when.”

He nods, pulling you back into kiss him. He thrusts a few more times before he nods, “Okay. Okay now.” You quickly get up, dropping to your knees in between his and placing your lips around his cock.

He lays a hand on the back of your head as you bob, working him up to cum. You feel if shoot into your throat and you wait til he done to lean back.

You look up at him, licking your lips as you wipe the corner of your mouth with your wrist.

“You’re such a bad girl.” He boops your nose and you shrug, “Only for the right kind of person.” You slide your hands up his thighs before standing up.

He fixes himself and rests his head back, staring up at you as you fix your outfit, “You say two hours?”

You nod, “Yep. Midnight.”

“I guess I can force Johnnie to stay here another two hours.” He laughs and you tilt your head, “That your friend?”

He nods, “Yeah, he didn’t want to come, but I told him it would be worth it. I guess I was right on that part for me anyway.”

“I’ll tell one of the girls to treat him good.” You smirk and Jake nods, “He will hate that.”

“Oh, do you no-“

He cuts you off, “No, no. Do it.” He laughs and moves to the edge of the chair, reaching out to pull you to him. His hands slide up and down your thighs as yours rest on his shoulders.

“I’m going to enjoy these next two hours.”

You look down at him, “Why’s that?”

“After what I just got.. it’s a big fuck you to all the assholes who know they can’t to touch you.” He smiles and stands up, giving you one last kiss before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a hundred dollar bill, “To cover our tracks, you know.”

“Of course. Of course.” You smile as he slips it into the thin strap. You look up at him and step back, “See you out there.”

“See you out there.” He winks before leaving the room and you stand there, silently composing yourself before you walk back out to the floor.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Thank you so much for reading!

Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[strangelysamantha]

dancing ✧

steve harrington x fem!reader.

warnings: NSFW! 18+, MDNI. daddy kink, sugardaddy!steve, overprotective!steve, smut, unprotected sex, spanking, rough sex, needyness, foreplay, SUGAR DADDY = DADDY KINK! ect

summary: sugar daddy steve picks you up at a strip club and hes desperate to please you.

a/n: i love steve harrington and i want to write about him 24/7. this is 100% filfthy. masterlist is pinned. like if you enjoyed. thank you.

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"cmon baby give me your number." steves words slurred together, the hint of whiskey lingering. "dont make me beg." he let out a slight groan when you bent down close to his face. "sorry handsome," your hand reaches for his shirt. "you gotta show me how bad you want this." you smoothly danced around him, joining your girls back on the pole. your hips move to the beat, you sensually look at steve, biting your lip. you grab the pole, swinging around, you were close to your break, ready for some water. the current song ends and you wave goodbye, picking up your bills before heading to the back.

you smiled at the girls in the room, you sit down quickly, drinking your water. "fuck that steve guy wants you so bad." you smirk at the other dancer's comment. "i know, it's kinda hot isn't it?" she smiles brightly, "you need to bag him... he's loaded." you glance over, "rich rich?" she nods, "richer than that." you shake your head in disbelief. "how do you know?" she shakes her head, "he's kind of a legacy around here. he endorsed this club when it started to struggle. hes always here, but he never flirts with anyone." you gasp, "but he's flirting with me?" she enthusiastically exclaims, "exactly! don't screw this up!" the pressure quickly sank in, and you became nervous. "i definitely won't." she stands up, "im back on but i had to let you know." you smile, "i appreciate your heads up."

you touch up your make up, adjusting your jewerly. your money is safely put away in your locker, and you head back to the stage. you began dancing to the song, swiftly making your rounds up and down the stage. steve watched in admiration, his eyes locked on your figure. he was obsessed, he knew you never got with anyone. he had been watching you for some time. he was curious the first day he met you, he was entranced by your beauty and quickly decided who he wanted to support. he lifted a hand, signaling you to come over. you head his way, you bend down. "what do i have to do?" he questions. you playfully bat your eyes at him. "do you have a pen?" he pulls one out of his pocket. you move his drink over, using the napkin underneath his drink. you write down your number. "how about you call me tonight to find out?" you smirk, " and you better not share that with anyone." with that, you stand back up, you finish your last song. your shift was over by this point.

in the parking lot you run into steve. "look, theres something about you. its so intriguing. i dont want to talk over the phone." you step forward. "ive been eyeing you for a while steve. you're a regular, and you are by far the hottest guy to stumble in that club. why do you have an interest in me?" you bluntly admit your feelings, and your eyes trace the floor. you manage to look back into steves eyes, his eyes are soft and theres a small smile hung on his lips. "the way you present yourself, the way you move, how you respond to people. its enticing, it makes me yearn for you." your heart speeds up from his words, "is there anyway you could come over for some dinner? i know its late." you nod, "that would be nice. i was actually about to get on the bus." he frowns, "do you usually take the bus?" you shake your head. "no, my car was totaled recently though. one night it was parked on the strip and a drunk driver crashed into it while i was working." he tsks, "that's no good honey. i can help you with that."

he leads you to his sleek black car, he opens the passenger door for you. you get inside his car, and he gently shuts the door. he rushes to the other side, hopping in and starting the car. "how can you help me?" you question. he looks at you, "i was going to wait until we got back to my place, but i can ask you now." you look at him with pleading eyes. "tell me now so im not anxious." he smiles, "i want you to be my sugar baby. ill buy you anything you could ever desire, you could stay with me if you wanted, but id get you your own room, your own car. id support you, and only you." your breath quickens at his offer, "what would i have to do?" he smirks, "well, id get to have some fun time with you, physical affection." you nod, your thighs automatically clenching together. "steve, id fuck you even if you weren't paying me." hes slightly shocked by this, "why?" is all he could muster up. "you're so sexy steve. anyone would be lucky to even get a glance from you." you words only inflamed his cockiness, but he was ecstatic you felt this way. he gently grabbed your thigh. "you're gonna be my princess, right?" he asks.

"of course, steve." you melt under his touch, your submission turned steve on. "you ready?" he left his hand on your thigh, and your breath was staggered slightly. "yes." steve starts the car and begins the route to his house. upon arrival you see how huge his house actually is. "you're the only one who lives here?" you look over at him and notice he was already looking in your direction. "for now, but hopefully you'll be my plus one?" you nod, "i would love to live here." he smiles brightly, "that is amazing! we can move your stuff in whenever you want too." you graciously pull steve into a hug. "thank you so much." he happily hugs you back. he leads you inside after unlocking his front door.

inside the interior is more magnificent than the exterior. you are astounded by the furniture and paintings. "its beautiful." he guides you through the rooms, bringing you to the kitchen. "im going to start cooking the meal. make yourself at home." you decide to stay with him, "i want to get to know you steve." he opens the fridge. "ask away." you shrug, coming up short on what to say. "i wish i had a change of clothes so i could shower." you frown slightly looking down at your dirty shorts and random shirt you had packed for the bus ride home. you felt significantly underdressed. "well, i may have done something for you already." he leaves for a few minutes, coming back with a name brand gift bag. "you didn't.." you gasp. he sets the gift in front of you on the kitchen counter. "i bought you a pajama set. you can shower and change into it. that will give me time to prepare you a home cooked meal. then you can ask all the questions you want." your mouth is slightly hung open. "i dont know what i can say, thank you so much!" you open the gift bag, pulling out a fancy name brand set of silk pajamas. "i love them!" you giddily jump out of the chair, wrapping your arms around steves neck. you lean in for a kiss. and he kisses back. you pull away, locking eyes with him. he was desperate with desire to fuck you now, but he knew that wasn't courteous. "follow me, ill get you a warm shower going." you follow behind him, allowing him to set everything up.

you enjoy the warm shower, steve even added steamers, which only caused more relaxation. you step out, drying off before you put-on your new set. you leave the bathroom, your hands full of your dirty clothes. "where should i put these steve?" he turns around at the sound of your voice, "here ill take them." he grabs your pile, and he throws them into the washer. when he returns, he gently places a hand on your lower back, leading you to the dining table. he sits you down, "i hope you like it." steve goes to sit in his seat. "this is all amazing, thank you so much." steves happy he successfully cooked you a good meal.

after the meal, you help steve clean up the dishes. he's quick to put away the leftovers. once everything is cleaned up, steve is showing you to his room. "this is my room, if you ever need me, ill probably be in here." you nod. he continues the tour, "you rooms over here. ill be close in case something ever happens, okay?" you smile, "that is perfect."

"well i think thats all for tonight, let me know if you need anything else. ill be in my room." you thank him generously; still happy he considered you out of all the dancers. you sit comfortably on the bed, but after a few minutes, something starts nagging at you. remembering steve in all his glory, how smart, and sexy he was. it was bound to get you worked up, however, you couldnt help yourself, thinking of all the ways steve wanted you, caused you to become wet. you sheepishly slide out of bed, you remember the directions to steves room, and you gently knock. "daddy?" you call out. steve quickly responds, "yes, baby? come in." you slowly creak the door open, seeing steve shirtless with shorts on in bed. the sight alone causes your legs to become weak. your stomach drops, your heartbeat fast. you bring yourself to take a few steps forward, "can i lay with you?" hes shocked by your request, "of course, get in." he lifts up the blanket. you slide into the bed with him. he pulls you close, “wasn’t expecting you to be in my bed this fast.” he chuckles. you turn over so your head is on his chest, and your arm is wrapped around his torso. you frown, “selfishly, i was thinking about you.” steve lifts an eyebrow, the lighting was dim, the only source being a lamp. “how so?” you hide your face in the crook of his neck. “thought about how you’d taste when your cock was deep in my throat. then it spiraled from there.” you admit honestly. his fingers fiddled with the silk on your shorts. “naughty girl.” he tsks, “well, should we do something about your neediness?” he lifted the blanket from you two, he leaned on his side, his free arm gently rubbing your clit through your shorts. “does this feel good, baby?” you softly moan against his touch, “mhm it feels good when you touch me.” he nods, “i need to kiss every inch of your body, show you how much i value you.” you open your eyes to look into his, “need you, steve.”

your desperate whines has steve’s cock throbbing, “fuck your pathetic moans go straight to my cock.” he groans, reaching for your hand. he places your hand on top of his bulge. he moans at your touch, you squeeze him, palming him slightly. “do you see what you do to me baby? how turned on i get?” his words hit hard, you gasp slightly. “you feel huge.” you kiss him, deepening the kiss. steve pulls away, “you want me to fuck you?” he questions. you frown at his attempt to delay your pleasure. “yes steve please hurry up. i need to feel you inside of me.” your hand was still holding him, and you felt his cock twitch at your words. you inhaled sharply, entranced with this entire moment. you’re starting to feel fed up, you slide onto his lap. eagerly, you begin to grind against him through his pants, the thought of his cock making you soaked. “baby? i wanna know what your mouth feels like on me.” you nod, “anything daddy.” you bite your lip. “especially if it makes you feel good.”

you slide over. you reach for his shorts, pulling them down. you palm him through his underwear, attempting to tease him so he knows how you felt. “don’t be a tease, hunny.” you obediently nod, removing his underwear. his cock springs forward; you kiss the tip of his cock. you look up, locking eyes with him. “i can’t wait to taste you.” you maintain eye contact whilst you spit on his tip. you stroke him, opening your mouth to take him fully. his eyes watching you intensely. “fuck you look so hot with my cock in your mouth.” he was fighting the urge of just taking control. he wanted to desperately grab your neck, jam his cock deep in your throat, and face fuck you like the slut you are, but he refrained. he didn’t want to be too rough the first time he had you.

your tongue licked stripes up and down his cock, arousal pooling your underwear. you felt every vein, you moan against him, you suck, hollow out your cheeks, and work on deep throating him. you pull away for air, your hand strokes him as you stare up at him. “doing so good baby, so fucking good.” you smile, “thank you daddy.” your mouth returns to his cock, you massage his balls, his cock deep in your throat while he groans above you. “fuck baby, just like that.” his hand grabs your head, pushing you further down on his cock, he couldn’t resist it. he thrusted his hips forward, his cock reached the back of your throat, your tongue continued to lap against it. “okay…” he pulled out of your mouth, strings of your saliva cover his cock. “almost made me cum too early.” you interpreted this as a compliment. he cupped your face, rubbing your cheek. “daddy please,” you say softly. “i need you.” he nods, gripping your neck, tightening slightly before crashing his lips on yours.

“want me to stretch out that tight pussy, baby?” you moan at his deep voice, “please fuck me steve,” he nods, his hands feeling your thighs. he massages your soft skin, reaching for the waist band of your shorts, he slides them off of you. “so pretty.” he rubs your clit through your panties. “did sucking daddy’s cock get you wet?” you nod your head, “yes, i loved sucking your cock.” he bites his lip, “you’re such a good girl for daddy.” he removes your underwear, “i’m gonna treat you so well princess.” steve uses his finger to get you ready. he adds another, “you’re so soaked.” you grab his wrist, “i need more. please.” he smirks, “i think you’re ready now.” he completely takes his shorts off. “lay on your back baby.” you do as steve says, laying on your back using one of his pillows for support. he teases you, stroking his cock in front of your aching hole. “how badly do you want me?” you groan, desperation radiating off of you. “fuck, so bad. i want you so bad.”

he groaned, his length sliding into your soaked pussy. “fuck you’re so tight.” your mouth is hung open, your eyes watching steve as he stretched you out with his giant cock. “fuck steve you’re so deep.” he grabs your throat, “what’s my name?” you whine, “daddy.” he nods, “good girl, take daddy’s cock.” he slid in and out of you at a menacingly slow pace. he was trying to ensure he didn’t hurt you. “tell me when it's okay.” you bite your lip. “it's okay.” this was the confirmation he needed to pound you relentlessly. you were breathless, you’d never been fucked this good before. “fuck i love this pussy.” you’re a moaning mess beneath him; your hands find their way to his messy hair. “fuck your cock is perfect.” your vulgar words turned him on more. his thumb came down, rubbing circles on your clit. “wanna make you cum, baby.” his cock was deep inside of you, his grunts filling your ears as his free hand helplessly grabs around your hip. "i could fuck you for hours." his words bring you close, "it feels so good, please." he smirks, "please, what baby?" he taunts you, "let me cum, can i please cum?" he bites his lips, "cum for me. his words confirm your release, and you moan out as your high washed over you. "good girl, such a good girl for daddy." he slowed down to help you, before he abruptly pulls out. you wince at the loss of contact. "why?" you whine.

he chuckles darkly, "flip over." you eagerly twist around, your ass arching. he slaps your ass, squeezing the flesh. "god, every inch of you is perfect." he slaps the other side of your bottom, "ready?" he smiles. "yes, please." you respond. he lines himself up with you again, "youre so wet, i slide right in." you nod, your head low as he reenters your pussy. he grabs your hair, lifting you up as he starts to thrust in you. "hows this angle? does it feel good?" he questions. you're completely lost in the pleasure, your eyes shut tight. you almost didnt hear him due to his low growl. "fuck youre so deep." you manage to yell out. you arch your back more, the pleasure already starting to build up. you use one of your hands to massage your clit. "keep going, please dont stop." steve maliciously laughs, "wasn't planning on stopping baby. gonna fuck you good till you cum on my cock again."

steve raises his hand to slap your ass again, this time it stings, and your ass gets a red mark. "fuck princess you're swallowing me. i wanna fill your pussy with cum." you nod, "yes please. i want your cum." he continues his fast pace into your cunt, "fuck, cum with me baby." he lets out low groans, and a slight whimper. this triggers your release and you tighten against him as your high hits you. his cock twitches and he fully enters his cock into your hole, squirts of his seed fill you entirely, and a few drops leak out and land on his sheets. you collapse onto the bed. "fuck." steve grins, "i know." his legs were shaking beneath him. he ran a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. "you drained my balls." you giggle. "good." you struggle to stand up, but steve holds your waist firmly, helping you out of the bed. he follows behind you while you lead the way to the restroom.

in the restroom you clean yourself up. steve washes himself as well. he leaves to grab your sleeping set. he comes back and you put the outfit on. "you ready to sleep?" you nod, "yes i am." he lifts the blanket up for you. you slide into the bed. he joins you and the two of you cuddle together. he kisses the side of your temple, his arms wrapping protectively around your body. you feel at peace in steves bed.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

pspspsps; can you do some headcannons for Lucifer getting a crush on a friend and how this absolute disaster of a man would handle it? thanks love you <3

One Hazbin Hotel Lucifer headcanon is coming up!! Also, you are not dumb, Anon. I also sometimes forget that I write for two different Lucifers it gets confusing at times! I appreciate the clarification!

You and Lucifer went way back, back in heaven back. You heard all his ideas and thoughts, never once questioning him or calling him out like others did.

Lucifer thought he would never see you again when he fell from heaven. That you would be a distant memory for him to look back on.

He always kept a picture of you from your younger years in heaven tucked in his pocket. He even told Lilith all about you and Charlie.

Imagine his surprise when he entered his daughters hotel to see her for the first time in ages and there you were sitting at the bar talking to a cat demon.

He was in shock but due to the Radio Demon needing to butt in he was quickly pulled out of his shock.

Once things had settled at the hotel Lucifer learned from Charlie how she found you wondering the streets not to long after their father-daughter argument just before the hotel opened.

He was impressed that you willingly lost your title among the elder angels all because you couldn't stand the thought that innocent souls were being played with every year.

As he watched you coach Charlie and assist in the hotel he was taken aback. You may be a demonic angel now but you were just as breath taking as when you were teens.

Your (H/C) hair was pulled back from your face as you worked on a billboard for Charlie to hang. He loved your devotion to his family even if you never knew she was his till he appeared.

When he sought your company out privately for the first time after reuniting with you he was a complete mess.

He talked to himself in the mirror, talked to Charlie, Alsastor, hell he even turned to Angel dust on how to rekindle the old times with you.

Ironically after all this planning and attempts to talk to you, you were the one to ask him out for a day on the town you know for old time sake.

He was so excited yet so crushed that you made it a 'friend' date. But he knew he was getting ahead of himself. He would court you appropriately he wasn't going to mess another relationship up.

The date went well besides the 12 poles, 6 signs, 4 people, and 2 cars that he has tripped, walked, ran, and crawled in too. He couldn't help it you were just so you.

He was falling fast and hard as he learned more about how you were one of the only activists on the angelic counsel fighting his fight even after he fell.

When Adam threatened war on Charlies hotel he knew his hands were tied due to his deal with the Angels. Yours weren't though however. Once you guys learned about the Angelic Steel you and Vaggie took to training the cadets.

When Adam saw you down with Charlie baring arms he was taken aback you one of the wise elder angels fighting him? Oh this was gonna be so sick killing you.

You fought harder and better though, till Adam went for a lethal strike on Charlie. Without hesitating you took part of the blow for her when pushing her out of the way.

When the carnage and battle was over Charlie went searching for you scared for the worse. When Lucifer chased after her asking what was wrong and saw you barely breathing he was devastated.

You were nursed back to health by the Morningstars for weeks. Never once being allowed to even exist alone.

Once you were okay again and getting ready to re-debut yourself to society Charlie pulled you aside and told you how she would be totally cool with it if you where another mom for her.

When you confronted Lucifer about the weird conversation you definitely saw him turn in to a puddle and disappear.

Slowly though over time Lucifer you and Charlie started making your own little family. You were hesitant especially with Lilith still being out there somewhere but you would fight for what you loved if you had too.

When Lucifer finally confessed his feelings after almost a year and half of you being back in his life he made it a big big deal.

The whole hotel was involved having every guest help surprise you with either old pictures from your angel years together or even some new ones from now.

Once you finally got to Lucifer he did one hell of a showstopping number to confirm what you had begun to suspect.

When you accepted his confession whole heartedly he was so happy and excited that the next day he made a public message to all of hell how lucky he was.

He couldn't be more happy with his new little family, even if Lilith came back he would be happy with you. All three of you could assist Charlie and redeem those in hell together.

[margaretthotcher]

Look I can disparage DTS as much as the next guy for being inaccurate and stirring up drama, but thats basically all the f1 youtubers I watch too. Its good entertainment about my special interest, so without further adieu, here are some of the episodes I think would make if I was producing season 7:

Episode 1: Scarlett Fever

The season opener. Starts with many many social media tweets about the lewis to ferrari rumours, have a talking head that says most rumours in f1 are nothing, even if they're true they take weeks to come to fruition, Im picturing this as Will Buxton. Cut To: LEWIS HAMILTON TO FERRARI FOR 2025. Have Lewis do a talking head maybe idk. Next Carlos going I was never going to keep it against the 7x world champ. Jeddah. open on some stock footage of the formula 2 quali to set the seen vaguely mention ollie on pole. Carlos has a talking head basically saying every race from now on is him auditioning for a new seat, Except..... he gets appendicitis, what will ferrari do??? enter Ollie to the talking head zone, he introduces himself as ferrari junior and reserve for both ferrari and haas. Ollie does well, hurrah. allude to seeing more of him later. We then get to Australia where they focus on Carlos's return. He says something like how he's still aiming for the podium regardless of his surgery last race. the assumption is max will win hence aiming for a podium. cut to the race and max breaking down, now carlos wins!!! excellent, idk wrap this up with some kind of cliffhanger.

Episode 2: The China Shop

This is basically the episode where nothing goes right for Red Bull. apparently someone has already confirmed it will partially cover the horner situation. I don't want to get into that here but assume that its also happening in this episode. Max wins the initial races but has a couple things happen in aus/miami, it becomes clear this won't be their 2023 season repeated. Checo is underperforming but holding out hope. People are talking about Daniel into Redbull as an option to replace Checo. The car is also slipping away from them, don't spoil the winners of the races for later in the season but show where Max and Checo are placing. They go on about how its fixable and they have an excellent design and engineering team. Cut to the breaking graphic of:ADRIAN NEWEY TO DEPART REDBULL. Another team principal, I want Toto but it's probably Zak, mocks them like "They're acting like a Redbull in a china shop" Horner comes in as if his allegations never happened and goes Checo just need the confidence of security, new contract for Checo, again wrap it up in a satisfying/cliffhangery way.

Episode 3: Anything Can Happen

This is where I have to acknowledge the fact that they absolutely aren't doing the 2/3 Mclaren/Ferrari episodes they need. In a ideal world, there would be a Mclaren boys both get their first wins episode before the big lando championship fight episode and Ferrari/Charles would get his Monaco and Monza episode, then at the end there would be one last episode about the constructors battle between them. They won't do this, and even I can't justify giving one team three whole episodes, we're only working with ten here.

Instead, Miami, Monaco, Silverstone, and Hungary are going to be one episode. I KNOW. It's too many, I don't care. This episode is basically that one edit to Anything Can Happen. It opens with some discussion about Lewis, Charles, and Lando, and their various curses with winning. Charles can't win monaco, Lewis can't win since he lost 2021, Lando can't win. you then have three basically mini episodes like 15 minutes each covering them each getting the win they want. You then have Will Buxton probably come in and mention that with Max, Carlos and George as well, we've now had 6 different winners in the first half of the season, last year we had 3 total yadayadayada. Cut to: Hungary Oscar leading the race and then Mclaren does the undercut. Radio drama ensues. They swap. Oscar gets his maiden win in only his second season, we have a 7th winner but not without controversy. Nobody seems happy, the episode ends with the promise of more drama at mclaren later in the season.

Episode 4: Red, White, and Argentinian Blue

less proud of this title but thats fine.Williams time.

It's basically a Logans greatest failures compilation (sorry bro I actually like you but this is TV drama), also includes Alex's great aussie crash and him getting logan's car anyway. You have something from logan at the beginning about improving on last year, and having another chance to show what he can do, just to twist the knife.

Have James Vowles then come in and explain that they tried to give Logan a chance they really did it's just not working out (whether anyone believes him on this is another matter entirely). While saying all this he also praises Carlos and talks about how they're dating and he's pregnant with Carlos's child or whatever went on there.

Alex says something sad about having been in Logan's position back at Redbull.

Logan gets fired, if possible I want behind the scenes of this conversation but that feels unlikely. Instead, we get the discussion of his replacement. Names thrown out include: Liam Lawson, Mick Schumacher, Kimi Antonelli, Whoever the actual williams reserve was, but James only has eyes for Franco. The junior team is his baby and Ollie doing so well at Jeddah gives him an excuse to take that chance. He talks about his hope for the younger generation after such a dry spell of good rookies between 2020 and 2024. this james making a diss at basically everyone but Oscar that's joined since the 2019 rookies, including those still racing like yuki and zhou.

We then get the Franco announcement and a summary of his first couple races, very simple, mostly just the baku double points. maybe also his singapore lap 1 nosedive. We end the episode thinking he's the next max verstappen, we get no further mention of williams crashes and failures. key implications being there are no spots for him at williams.

Episode 5: Haasta la Vista

nope that's even worse.

Gunther is gone. That's the episode.

No actually, theres some discussion of Gunther leaving and Ayao arriving but it's also clear from near the beginning of the episode that neither Nico or Kevin will be staying with Haas next season. Starting at testing the Haas car is shit everyone expects them to be last. Maybe highlight Ollie being their reserve as well as Ferraris and do one of those small flashbacks to Jeddah. Kevin is crashing and racking up penalty points, Nico is forcing the Haas into positions no one expected at testing. Ollie is announced as driver, followed quickly by Esteban.

This episode is basically Haas being successful when no one expected them to be. Kevin gets his one race ban, Ollie replaces him for baku, show Ollie beating Nico with basically no context of the crash or the race up til that point just that Ollie beat Nico.

Nico talks about being excited for sauber/audi, Kevin talks about seeing his kids grow up. They talk about each other too. In my dreams there is a big romantic haasbands compilation edit. It's actually just a oh yeah we used to not like eachother but now we're friends. This is actually one of the more wholesome episodes somehow.

Episode 6: Family Values

Look I need to preface this with the knowledge that the Netflix cameras weren't actually there for this first part, but I'm writing it anyway.

Open on Toto's house. Idk whether Susie was there at the time but we'll say yes because I love her. In the kitchen Toto and family are having breakfast, talking, laughing, hold on, laugh we recognise, pan over, sitting next to Jack on the breakfast bar stools is George, having a sleepover with Toto??? for some reason??? anyway have them discuss the upcoming season over breakfast, say how they're excited for the cars development, working with lewis, etc. etc. George goes to say goodbye and then once he's left, Toto gets a call from Lewis, he answers and greets him. His face drops.

Brief mention that merc is getting better but they dont know why, literal 30 second montage of their first 3 wins since we already covered Silverstone and the other too are just unfortunately not as relevant to the rest of the season.

Time jumped a bit now we get the debate of Lewis's replacement. Toto mentions trying to get Max. He's never getting Max. That's fine, he has his own little prodigy he's making skip years of junior series. Very brief discussion of sticking someone else like carlos in the merc for a year or two and letting kimi develop at williams first, considering his f2 performance, maybe they did drag him up too quickly. Nah it'll be fine... Ollie did fine.

Quick explaination from one of the journalists about Prema generally being considered the best team in f2 eg. charles, oscar, pierre. but then mention the new regulations they've struggled to get on top of. Then show how Ollie performed in Jeddah and Kimi outperforming Ollie in the standings

Toto mentions how he signed Kimi at 12 and seeing him now at 18 getting an f1 seat makes him so proud. Mercedes weird family dynamic continues with Toto comparing Kimi and George to being like his bonus sons, and when asked whether he thinks they'll fight says some bullshit about how all siblings fight but at the end of the day they do what's best for the family-uh-no-i-mean-team. We're all a little weirded out by this.

Talk about how George is ready to step up as team leader, he's learnt a lot from Lewis. Also show him being unbothered (definitely bothered) by Toto having a cool new prodigy.

Kimi crashes Georges car in fp1 at monza the day before the announcement. This worsens the tension (whether it actually exists or not). George makes a semi condescending comment about Kimi that's definitely taken out of context. everybody takes this as truth upon viewing it and hates on George once again. Kimi has a more successful fp1 at mexico. Kimi has a tiny interview about how he's excited to be an f1 driver.

This is one of the shorter episodes, it just looks long because I got too invested in breakfast at Totos.

Episode 7: Papaya Rules

If they don't call the Mclaren episode Papaya Rules, I will eat my hat.

This carries on from the set up of Anything Can Happen. Lando and Oscar have both won one race each but Lando is ahead in the standings and had to give up hungary to Oscar. Drive to Survive will make this a bigger drama than it is, the two will seem like they hate eachother. This is the closest they'll get to replicating season 1 maxiel invented drama.

I find this episode the hardest to write despite it having the clearest storylines I think. The only options seem to be make either Lando or Oscar the villain and I don't want to do that so I simply won't. In my version of Drive to Survive, the papaya rules episode is just a half hour long clip of them work shopping the name "papaya rules" in a meeting. followed by Oscar's overtake of Lando in Monza, a 5 minute montage of all the criticism of Mclaren and their team orders will they won't they attitude, Lando getting knocked out of Baku qualifying, Oscar winning Baku. Then the Brazil sprint swap followed immediately another 20 minutes of meetings in which Lando tries to tell the team that if he has the opportunity he will give Oscar back the sprint win. The team tell him not to do it. This is followed by the Qatar sprint swap, radios and all. Oscar and Lando have more beef with Mclaren strategy team than they do each other.

Episode 8: The dramatic irony Daniel-uh-I-Mean-VCARB episode

Contrary I think to popular opinion, I think Liam has to be a sympathetic character in this episode and therefore I think it starts with Liam. He's talking about how hard it was not racing this season after he got a shot last year. Mentions how last year he was in another series, this year he's only riding on the good will of his 2023 races. Meanwhile, you have Daniel, Yuki, and Checo fighting it out for the Red Bull seat. This part is very quick because it's already been covered in The China Shop but it's basically Checo's performance struggling while Daniel and Yuki are doing betterish. This episode then focuses more on Daniel's perspective than Checo's like the other episode did. You have someone saying something stupid about Daniel being the only person to beat Max in equal machinery back in 2016-18. How he beat Sebastian Vettel in a Red Bull. Something about how Daniel is a "lost world champion" swallowed up by the dominance of Mercedes during his prime (3rd in both 2014 and 2016 to Lewis and Nico). It's all very compelling, unfortunately, Daniel Now, just isn't cutting it.

For a brief moment post-spa it looks like the switch is happening anyway (P.S. if Netflix got the actual record of what happened here they can have my soul because I'm convinced Daniel genuinly had the seat for all of 3 days before money came in to change that), however Checo's contract is extended and now Red Bull has Daniel Ricciardo problem. Someone comments that you shouldn't have a senior driver in a junior team. Daniel was brought in to replace Checo and that's not happening anymore. meanwhile Yuki is out performing Daniel and the whole thing flips on him very quickly. Liam is looking at other teams but isn't allowed to proceed with them without Red Bull's permission until september, he's getting frustrated because seats are filling up fast and again, he thinks this is his last shot. VCARB have to make the drastic switch.

Singapore comes and Daniel is surrounded by rumours, he knows it doesn't look good. He says if I'm going out, I want to go out on a high note. He get's his fastest lap to help Max. He gets a fairwell from his pit crew even if Red Bull were too cowardly to do it themselves. We get a greatest hits compilation of Daniel on Drive to Survive (I don't care this is unrealistic). Mention somewhere Liam is replacing him for the rest of the season but has no guarantees for next season. He sits down in front of the Camera to say his goodbyes, he mentions never getting that world championship, but enjoying the journey anyway. Mentions Max, Mentions Yuki, We see him saying goodbye to people like Lando and others as his voice over plays. He says he didn't blame Oscar last time and he doesn't blame Liam now, it's not their fault they were all in a shitty situation. Daniel exits the singapore paddock at 2 am for the last time.

I don't care how self indulgent this section is, Daniel was literally the first person we ever saw on screen in season 1 episode 1, if anyone gets a sappy goodbye it's him.

Episode 9: Normandy Boys

The inevitable Alpine episode.

We already know that Esteban is going to Haas at the end of the season so this episode is dealing with the fall out from that, Brazil, and then Pierre at Abu Dhabi. Probably should throw in the Oli Oakes appointment somewhere in there too.

This episode starts by re-asserting Pierre and Esteban, Do Not Like Each Other. We see their crash at Monaco as part of a flashback. Esteban comes and tells us why he is leaving Alpine after all these years. He also says that the team was already pushing him out. "they've decided they can only have one, me or Pierre, and they chose Pierre.

You get a brief, 'here's Oli Oakes' bit, I still don't really know what his deal is so I guess I'd like to find out.

A bit more of Pierre and Esteban squabbling. Alpine is doing terribly. then: Brazil. Esteban qualifies 4th. Pierre is 15th, bumped to 13th. Race happens, you guys know how it goes, it's a fairytale. 2-3 for the team. Esteban gets his highest finish since his win. the team move from 9th to 6th in the standings, everyone is overjoyed.

Esteban and Pierre both talk about what this means for them, two boys from the same area of Normandy realising their dreams together despite their differences. They say nice things about each other it's cute.

We then get the final bomb that Esteban will not be racing in Abu Dhabi, Jack will. It's a big mess.

Will Buxton probably, again, says that it must be painful, "you know Esteban Ocon got this team it's only win under their new name, he was the only one who lasted through 2022, with Fernando Alonso and Oscar Piastri leaving the team so controversially, He was the first French Driver to win for the team since Alain Prost. Esteban Ocon, Was Alpine."

Esteban says, yeah, it hurts, to be pushed out like this. But he's looking forward to next season with his new team and teammate to take under his wing.

Oh yeah and somewhere in there mention Flavio Briatore, I just don't know where.

Episode 10: Giants

Mention that Max won the drivers championship back in Vegas, I don't care if you think Lando had a big shot at it so it has to be a storyline, Nope. Max won, it caused drama at Mclaren, we don't need a whole episode of Max v. Lando. What we do need, is Mclaren v. Ferrari. The two longest running teams in F1 history someone calls them the giants of the sport. Have each of the four drivers weigh in at the beginning of the episode. Charles says something vaguely religious about Ferrari, Lando says how it would be a great consolation since he lost the drivers-again, out of context quote people will hate him for anyway, Oscar says something about only being in his second season and being in a championship fight and how they didn't expect this last year, Carlos says something about how winning would be the best parting gift for the team. Fuck it, have Lewis weigh in too. Instead of saying Mercedes AMG Petrona-whatever, his title card reads "2008 World Driver's Champion with Mclaren, 2025 Ferrari Driver". This whole thing is probably lasting too long but they get Zak and Fred in on it too obviously.

You then get a very basic rehash of quali and the race, which really only amounts to Lando Oscar P1 P2, Carlos somewhere, Charles 19th. Championship over. But!!!: we forgot to account for Max Verstappen. Race start and max send Oscar straight to the back. Outrage at Mclaren garage. meanwhile, Charles has made up 11(???) places in one lap, championship fight is back on. show Charles/Oscar climbing back up the order, Charles to 3rd, Oscar only to 10th. The championship relies on Lando keeping the lead. Nervous shots of both garages. Lando almost makes a mistake and saves it. Carlos can't overtake. Lando and Mclaren win!! huzzah. We see some poor Ferrari intern/social media person hiding away the box containing the championship shirts that were definitely made just in case.

Oscar and Lando and Zak and Andrea give happy interviews. Charles and Carlos give sad ones. We think the episode is almost done but then we start getting shots of donuts and hugs and cheers' and then we hear short messages from Valtteri, Zhou, Kevin, and Checo, we've already had Logan and Daniel earlier. Franco also has a hope I'll be back message in there but it's before Checo's. Wait Checo saying Goodbye for now?? he had an extension? Liam replacement announcement comes in and then you have Liam sitting down wearing a Red Bull shirt instead of VCARB, the text replacement thing happens to switch his teams and he says:

"I'm Liam Lawson" then we hear "I'm Ollie Bearman", I'm Andrea Kimi Antonelli", "I'm Jack Doohan", "I'm Gabriel Bortoleto", "I'm Isack Hadjar", "I race for Oracle Red Bull Racing", "I race for Moneygram Haas F1 Team" "I race for Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team" "I race for BWT Alpine F1 Team" "I race for Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber" "I race for Visa Cash App Racing Bulls" and then in unison. "And I'm a 2025 Formula One driver."

Black.

Text on screen says "2025 will have 6 drivers entering their first complete season in f1, the most since *insert year here*" like they did at the end of season 1 with the youngest grid for 2019.

~~~~~~~

Sorry, no Sauber or Aston Martin Episode, they simply didn't do enough this season to warrant an episode amongst the chaos in my version. if this disappoints you I'm sure Netflix will pull through and give us the unnecessary episodes that take time away from the real drama.

Also if it seems like Ollie Bearman is mentioned too much, A. he's one of my favourites and this is my post, and B. I genuinely think we wouldn't have 6 rookies-ish on the grid this year if Ollie hadn't done so well across his first 2 races and then survived Brazil.

This post is genuinely longer than most things I have submitted for University, i need a nap

[dreaming-medium]

Bad Day - Bang Chan Drabble

Summary: Reader has a terrible day; one of those days where everything goes wrong. Luckily, her boyfriend is there to wipe the stress away with some well deserved hugs.

Word Count: 2.2k

——————————————————

Punch after punch after punch after punch lands on your soul today. Every single time you turned around, another horrible situation would present itself.

You’ve been sick for two and half weeks now. The sore throat would come and go, but you weren’t able to sleep without propping two pillows under your head. This morning when you woke up, your voice was completely gone.

The empty space next to you in bed certainly doesn’t help either. Chan has been gone for a work trip for two weeks now. He wasn’t due home for another two more.

Work has been its own animal to take care of. It was your first job after graduating, so you were at the bottom of the totem pole. Each higher up suddenly felt the need to burden you with any difficult projects they didn’t feel like taking care of themselves.

“I don’t think this is something I was trained on,” you tried to say to one of the more older workers. The huge stack of papers was so heavy in your hands. “These calculations would take me—“

“Just do it, Y/N,” he said before closing the door to the conference room you were standing alone in.

You had just watched that coworker’s boss tell him to do it. But nope, he dumped it on you.

On top of that, you were also tasked with training the new guy even though you’ve only been here for nine months.

And this guy made it his personal mission to make your job even harder. The way he would go from not knowing anything to being a complete know-it-all within two sentences made your blood boil.

But it’s fine. It’s totally fine, you can handle this.

Then, someone ate your lunch out of the fridge even though your name was clearly written on it. Your lunch break was so short that there was no way you could run out to get something else.

It was raining so hard as you jogged to your car through the parking lot. Every spot in the parking garage was taken this morning so you had to use the satellite lot ten minutes away.

Your clothes were drenched by the time you got into your car and slammed the door shut.

Fumbling with the keys, you shoved them into the ignition and started your car. The heat immediately kicked on and you sat there for an extra couple of minutes, warming your frozen fingers in front of the vents.

A book from one of your favorite authors came out today. You were going to pass the store on your way home, why not stop and buy a copy? It certainly would help with the day you were having.

The drive to the store was silent. You didn’t even turn the radio on. If you’re being honest, you didn’t think you could handle sound.

People were everywhere in the bookstore.

You walked in and looked around for the new book. There were signs and posters everywhere that announced the book. Where was it?

“If you’re looking for the new Kingdom book we sold out this morning.” A worker says to you softly.

A small part of you dies.

You politely nod to the worker and leave.

It’s ridiculous how you feel the tears building behind your eyes.

It’s fine. It’s fine. You’re overreacting. It’s totally fine. You’ll just buy a copy on your Kindle. You didn’t even need a physical copy, right?

Your fingers fumble with your keys and you drop onto the ground. They splash right into a puddle.

It’s fine, it’s fine.

Swallowing painfully, you wince at your sore throat and gather your things to get back in the car.

You’ll go home and watch TV.

“It’s Friday,” you whisper to yourself in the car to try and calm down. “It’s treat day, why not stop for a coffee?”

Every Friday you would buy yourself a coffee. ‘Treat Day’ is what you dubbed it as. It slowly became a tradition with you and your friends.

Chan used to always reload your coffee rewards app with his own money without telling you.

A sad smile tugs at your face while you drive to the coffee shop. God, what you wouldn’t give to see him right now.

The tension in your shoulders is so bad you think your shoulders are level with your ears.

After getting your coffee, you drive all the way home to your apartment complex.

Right before you turn into the lot, a car decides to come out of nowhere and cuts you off. You cut the wheel and slam on the brakes to avoid them.

Your coffee launches out of the cup holder and spills all over your lap.

“Fuck!” You curse and try to focus on the road. “Fuck fuck!”

At least it was iced coffee and you’re not burned. Right? Silver lining?

You’re at your limit. Your sanity is teetering.

Parking in your designated spot, you trudge into the large building.

The weight of the day still sits so heavy on your shoulders. Now your lap was soaked with coffee.

A package sits underneath the complex’s mailboxes. It’s ruined and crushed. The ‘FRAGILE’ sticker is gnarled up.

“No,” you sigh and look closer at it.

Yep, it’s yours. The new dishwear set you ordered came in.

When you lift the package you hear all the pieces shift around. It’s just a box of broken ceramic at this point.

Tighter and tighter your throat gets.

Slowly, you trudge up to your floor. Because, of course, the elevator is broken. Of course it is. Why would the elevator work today?

Just as you get your keys out to open your door, your shitty neighbor comes outside.

“Oh god, Y/N, you look horrible.” He says loudly.

You turn and look at him with tears already brimming in your eyes.

No sign of compassion crosses his face, instead, he laughs. He laughs right in your fucking face.

“No wonder I haven’t seen Chan around. He finally came to his senses, eh?”

Your jaw drops open.

“God, pull yourself together.”

Your neighbor picks up his newspaper from the doormat and goes back into his unit without another word.

For a long moment, you just stand there. Your clothes and hair still soaking wet and clinging to your skin, work bag and purse slung over your shoulder, box of broken plates and bowls in your arms.

Inside your body, you felt yourself finally snap. You felt your anger and frustration hit it’s limit.

Your look of surprise quickly morphs into one of seething rage. Lips pulling in a sneer, you rip open your door and stomp inside, slamming it shut behind you.

Dropping everything you own at the door, including the box of glass, you let out a muffled scream.

The box bursts open and glass shards go everywhere. They skitter across the floor and cover the wood in a dangerous mine field.

A moment of silence passes.

You lose it.

You drop to your knees and cradle your face while angry, hot tears stream down your cheeks.

Wails leave your lips as the weight of the day finally takes it’s toll.

On any normal day, you would be able to handle these things individually, but all at once? You just couldn’t deal with it anymore.

“Y/N?!” A voice calls out from the other end of the hallway.

Your head snaps up and you see your boyfriend standing there with a look of horror on his face.

“Chan,” you croak out.

His eyes frantically look around at the scene in front of him. Your disgruntled state surrounded by broken glass.

He’s here? He’s back?

“Y/N, are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?”

He tries to walk closer but then he realizes he’s also surrounded by broken glass.

“Chan.” Is all your able to say again before the sobs come out even harder. Your entire body wracks with them, chest sputtering as you try to breathe between cries.

His face twists up in anguish.

“S-Stay there! Don’t move, I’m gunna get a dust pan, okay? I’ll be right back, babygirl. Don’t move.”

He continues to say things over and over to you while running to get what he needs.

“I’m here, baby. You’re okay, right? You’re home and safe, Y/N.”

You bury your face in your hands again and continue to cry. His words reach you, but they do nothing to quell the emotions.

Before you could fall further into this headspace, two warm, strong arms wrap around you and pull you into an even warmer body.

“I’m right here, honey, I’m here. You’re okay.” Chan whispers into your hair. He pulls you onto his lap and holds you close.

His comforting scent envelops you everywhere.

Chan rocks back and forth while holding you.

“You’re okay,” he says over and over into your hair. “You’re home now, I’m here, Channie’s here.”

Your face buried into his shoulder, hands gripping his shirt tightly

“What happened, baby?” He asks gently.

You cry harder.

“I’m so sick,” you cry into his shirt. “People keep taking advantage of me at work, I had to park ten minutes away in the rain. Someone ate my lunch. I dropped my keys in a puddle, the new book sold out, I spilled my coffee everywhere. Then fucking 304 across the hall tells me how horrible I look.”

You motion outwards at the glass all over the floor still. “And how do you like our new dishes?”

Even in the middle of a mental breakdown, you still crack a joke.

Saying it all makes you cry even harder. At this point, Chan’s shirt is soaked with your tears.

He continues to hold you as tight as he could. Not once does he tell you to stop crying, instead he carefully scoots and leans against the wall, cradling your body on his lap.

Chan rocks back and forth, pressing kisses into the crown of your hair as you cry your heart out.

His one hand rubs slow circles on your back while the other pets the back of your hair.

Low hums come from his throat. Chan lays his cheek on top of your head and keeps you close to his chest.

“It’s okay, babygirl,” he coos. “You’re home now. You’re with me now.”

“Thank god you’re home,” you hiccup and clutch his shirt closer to you.

“My spidey-senses were tingling,” he jokes in a hushed tone.

You manage to chuckle through your tears.

“My babygirl needed me.”

You’ve always been so happy go lucky, the glass was always half full with you. You always looked on the bright side of everything. If anything bad happened, it always just rolled off your back.

It was one of the main reasons he fell for you.

Chan has never seen you as bad as you were on your knees in the entryway, it shook him to his core.

Another long kiss is pressed to your head.

Slowly, your sobs calm down. Your throat still hoarse and sore from before has only gotten marginally worse.

Sniffling, you sit up away from Chan.

“‘M sorry I got your shirt all gross.”

Chan laughs in spite of everything. Both of his strong hands cup your cheeks for you to look him in the eye.

His chin dips down to your level so he can stare right at you. Those gorgeous brown eyes sparkle at you.

“I’m not upset about my shirt, Y/N,” he says gently. “I’m only worried about my sunshine. It’s not every day you cry, baby.”

“Everything just happened at once.” Chan’s thumbs wipe away the tears on your cheeks. “I tried to keep it together but our neighbor verbally berating me was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Chan tuts and brushes your hair behind your ear.

“Let’s throw eggs at his door,” he jokes.

He pulls a laugh from you.

“There’s my favorite smile.” He coos. It makes your smile even brighter. You sniffle again, and look down sheepishly.

Chan lifts your chin up with his thumb and forefinger. “Hey baby,” he grabs your attention. “How about this: you go shower off the day, I’m going to clean all this up and order our favorite takeout for dinner. I even stopped on my way home and got two pints of ice cream before.”

“Mint chocolate chip?” You ask softly.

“Of course I got your nasty toothpaste ice cream.” He pinches your cheek teasingly.

You giggle and lean away from his hand.

“Come on, babygirl.”

Before he does anything else, Chan leans forward and presses a long, warm kiss to your forehead.

Both of your eyes close at the comforting feeling it brings. After he kisses your forehead, Chan leans down and kisses both of your cheeks.

His warm lips then press to your nose and then finally to your lips.

It’s a long, sensual, loving kiss. Both of your mouths slipping over one another in a dance.

You sigh happily into the kiss. Chan’s mouth smiles against your own. It’s contagious, you can’t help but mirror the grin with our own.

In the end, you both look like smiling fools wrapped up in one another’s presence.

Chan scoops you up carefully and stands up from the floor, making sure to avoid any stray shards of glass.

“I’m going to take good care of you, my honey.” He coos and presses another kiss to your forehead. “Your bad day ends here.”

[alphajocklover]

Hey, um, I'm a really tall, really skinny gay guy. People have always told me that I could be really athletic if I wanted to, but no matter how much I eat I always stay thin and lanky. I guess it's just my metabolism. Could you help me beef up?

Maybe I just don't have the mindset for it

So, no matter what, even though you desperately want to, you can’t seem to put on any muscle. Trust me when I tell you that you’re not alone. There are tons of people who look at their body and wish they were different, and there are just as many who do what they can to change and find it's just not enough. That's part of why transformation blogs exist after all. The fantasy of getting your dream body without all the hassle. Some people say that those who have trouble doing this just need to work harder, or are lazy, but usually it has more to do with genetics and metabolism than anything else. Getting a body like the ones in my post is possible without magic and reality warping apps, but it is very difficult and not possible for everyone. So, your request brings up an interesting idea: what would happen if I changed you mentally and left your body alone? Would the right mindset really change that much? Well, let's see.

It shouldn’t be hard to change you mentally. I won’t even go into how. Maybe I used some magic, or nano bots, or something else from my increasingly large collection of jock transformation methods. Honestly the how isn’t really important to this experiment. It’s what happens next that we want to focus on. Because now, mentally, you’re a jock. I didn’t entirely rewrite your identity, so you’re still you, just a jock version of yourself. You’re dumber, simpler. You love sports and working out, and obsess about getting massive muscles. You’re the stereotypical jock… except you're skinny as a bean pole. The new you can’t just accept that of course. He wants to be huge. He works out like crazy, follows all the tips, takes every supplement and tries every protein powder he can find, all to chase the version of you he knows he can be. So… does it work? Does the new you get a jock body? The answer is fairly boring: kind of. An increased dedication to exercise and a passion for it is sure to make a big difference, and you end up putting on dozens of pounds of muscle, but since I didn’t change your body, you still have to deal with the genetics life has dealt you. You get huge, but you don’t get as big as some of the other gym goers. You’re a jock, but you’re not inhumanly massive. You’re definitely a total stud, but it takes quite some time for you to get where you want to be. I’m not knocking hard work and dedication, but they’re not the only factors and it’s ok to acknowledge that. You may never get as big as you dream… but that's not really why you do it anymore. You’re a jock now, and a real jock doesn’t just workout because they wanna look good, they do it because they love it! Because it’s their passion! That passion and dedication will take you very far, farther than people get on just good genetics. You may never be the biggest guy in the gym, but you’ll get big and enjoy every second of getting bigger.

Of course, that's coming at it from a more grounded viewpoint, and we’re not here to be grounded are we? You want to live out your jock fantasy, and as thanks for letting me do this little experiment with you, I’ll give your muscles an extra little boost! Looks like you will be the biggest guy in the gym after all! With both the right mindset and the perfect body, you’re going to end up a jock bro god. Hope you enjoy it bro! You're gonna have guys throwing themselves at you after this.

[apomaro-mellow]

I finally wrote about stobin carhops

“I can’t believe we got another job using one resume”, Steve said.

“I can’t believe you said we were managers at Scoops”, Robin said.

“How are they gonna check, Robs?”

“Good point. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The new job at a local burger joint was decidedly in the ballpark of both of their abilities. The only drawback for Robin was....the skates.

“So these are a requirement? Not like, a suggestion?”, she asked, looking at the roller skates warily. Steve was already lacing up.

“They are in fact a requirement”, Cheryl, their current manager said.

Robin slipped and slid while on wheels. Which was why for about 90% of their first shift, she rolled along arm in arm with Steve.

“What’s even the point of having someone skate your food to you? I mean it seems like a total novelty. Purely for shits and giggles for customers.”

“You nailed it. It’s novelty.” As they rolled around the lot, Steve used the hand that was free to deliver food to the different cars. Robin used her free hand to write down the orders.

This system worked for about a week before Cheryl told them they couldn’t do that anymore. The very next day, Robin dropped five orders (two of which were on purpose) and was removed from her carhop responsibilities.

She kept her post at the register and the pick up window.

The uniform consisted of a white polo-style shirt with red accents. Most of the staff wore red pants to match. Some of the girls beat the heat with red shorts though.

“What are you wearing?”, Robin asked when Steve clocked in one day in those very same shorts.

“Uh, the uniform?”

“Uh-huh. Feelin’ the heat lately?”

“It’s been pretty warm the past few days”, Steve said.

“And I best the change has nothing to do with the fact Eddie said he’d be by on your lunch break today.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve tried to look neutral but his voice was way too chipper for someone who had to smell grease this early in the morning.

Robin knew for sure Eddie had arrived. She didn’t have a full view of the lot when she was at the register but she did see Steve lose control and skate right into a light pole. That could only mean Eddie was nearby. She let them have their lunch alone, knowing they would be sickeningly lovey-dovey the whole time.

-------------------------------------------

“You know....”, Steve started. “I bet Vickie would lose it if you were in shorts.”

“Actually, she said my teeth are my best feature”, Robin smiled wide.

“You two are so weird”, Steve laughed through it while mopping the floor.

“This from the guy who spent two whole hours staring at his boyfriend’s hands.”

“I didn’t-”

“TWO HOURS!”

------------------------------------

Steve let out a sigh when he saw that Eddie had driven Erica along as well.

“You already know”, Erica said. “Chocolate vanilla swirl.”

“Erica, I know I said free ice cream for life but-”

“But nothing. You thought you could get out of it by switching jobs. But karma always finds its way back.”

“I don’t think me working at a fast food place is karma. Right?”, Steve looked to Eddie, like he was worried this really was the work of cosmic forces.

“I don’t know...” Eddie leaned out of his open window to get a better look at Steve’s legs. “Feels like karma to me.”

Steve grinned when he noticed being checked out and leaned in towards the window. He opened his mouth but Erica beat him to it.

“You can flirt when you’re not on the clock. Ice cream. Chop chop!”

-------------------------------

It was a slow day for once, so Robin and Steve were sitting on the hood of his car, sharing some fries between them.

“What do you think our next job is gonna be?”, Steve asked.

“I think after this we should branch out. Maybe go for the federal government? Or at least look for managerial positions.”

“Would a place hire two managers at once?”

“One for the day shift and one for the night?”, Robin said, pointing at herself for day and Steve for night.

“But then we’re not gonna see each other.”

“Shoot, you’re right. What about working as mail carriers? You drive, I’ll put them in the box.”

“That’s actually perfect.”

“Great!”, Robin exclaimed. “So when this place burns down or gets destroyed by a quake-”

“Or a flood, or a tornado, or another fire-”

“Point is, we already know what our fallback is. And it’s perfect because everybody always needs mail.”

“It’s kind of crazy how we’ve never been fired. And that our past work places have been leveled”, Steve said. “I really think we could put anything on our resumes at this point.”

“Lemme get a couple of college credits before we start lying to get better jobs.”

“So another couple of months?”

“And you’ll be talking to the new CEO of something or other.”

“Co-CEO”, Steve reminded her, holding up a medium soda.

“Co-CEOs”, Robin tapped hers to his in a toast.

@little-gae-shit