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quietpagan · 9 months ago

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Whose Child Is This?

In which fourteen-year-old Harry Potter sees his time-travelling five-year-old self accidentally appear in the middle of the fucking Great Hall, asks ‘is anybody going to adopt this kid?’, and does not wait for an answer.

AO3

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The Great Hall was, in the aftermath of the rather exciting First Task, quite louder than usual. The visiting schools had been thrilled at the display, and while Hogwarts students were somewhat accustomed to having a weirdly stimulated school year, dragons had not yet been a part of the entertainment (for most).

The Hall was also brighter than usual, even excluding the Wreasley twin’s occasional breakfast-time antics, with the flashing of the very original and creative ‘Potter Stinks’ badges that everyone loved. Potter himself wasn’t wearing one, if only because he couldn’t figure out how to get it to stay stuck on the ‘Support Cedric Diggory’ setting, but it didn’t matter. Flashing badge or no, after such a rousing scene during his tussle with his chosen dragon Harry was as much a topic of craned-neck looks and too-loud whispers as the rest of the Champions. Even if you hated the kid, most people had to admit that anything ‘Potter’ tended to be interesting, honestly.

But yet absolutely none of it compared to the three carelessly-cast spells that had just rebounded onto Harry Potter; the bright, wobbly circle of light that temporarily blinded everybody near the ends of the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables; and the extremely tiny boy that had just fallen through it.

Harry Potter was a skinny, speccy teenager with a few bandaged burns and bruises and an increasing headache, and he was also the itty-bitty five-year-old groaning from where he’d landed in the mashed potato tureen, bleeding all over the tablecloth.

The Hall went silent, after a perfunctory scream or two.

The little boy lay in place for a moment and then turned over, sitting up as best he could. There was an enormous t-shirt hanging off one shoulder that was slowly becoming speckled with dark stains, and it was difficult to determine his expression under the myriad of bruises across his face. One thousand magical students watched as he swiveled his head back and forth, taking in the entire Hall with a rather myopic squint.

“Is this Heaven,” he asked the bushy-haired girl in front of him.

Hermione Granger knew exactly everything except how to answer that question.

The ginger boy next to her was running marathons with his eyes, trying to look at Hermione, the little boy, and his utterly shellshocked friend sitting across from him all at the same time.

“Er…��

“If it’s Heaven then that’s alright,” the child continued, still squinting. “Only I hope the angels are nice.”

Harry Potter the Elder was frozen in place, listening to the child speak. His back was throbbing from whatever spells had just hit him and so was his head and so was everything, honestly, dragon-fighting sucked. This was unreal. This could not, absolutely could not be happening.

Hermione seemed to gather herself then, after an unsuccessful effort to get Harry to react.

“Oh, um. Well, I’m not an angel but my, my name is Hermione. And – and – what’s yours?” She asked, visibly stiffening at a flurry of movement from the high table.

“Boy.”

Across from her, behind the child, Harry Potter’s face completely drained of blood. He didn’t move an inch, as if hoping that if he didn’t make a sound, the disaster happening on top of the table wouldn’t see him.

The child shook his hair out of his eyes, and the sweat-damp strands parted over the angry scar beneath them.

Across the Hall, Draco Malfoy looked as if he were trying quite desperately to telepathically make his father hear of this. Rita Skeeter, damn her to hell, was absolutely going to hearing of this.

“Um, it’s not Heaven, I’m terribly sorry, but – did you know that you’re bleeding? We really ought to get you to the hospital wing, Ronald, grab my bag, what on Earth happened to you?”

The boy watched as the redheaded teenager struggled to fit two schoolbags over one shoulder while simultaneously attempting to kick the black-hair kid across from him in the shins.

“Uncle Vernon was very mad at me.”

Harry Potter unfroze in a swoop of black robes, grabbing the tiny child and hauling him off of the table. The boy shrieked in pain before hastily covering his mouth and Harry belatedly took his hand off the kid’s back, instead crouching to pick him up from the front. There really wasn’t an extremely dramatic change in size in ten years and it wasn’t that difficult; the boy weighed hardly anything. Shouts emerged from the high table as he swung his legs over the bench and booked it for the door.

“Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter, come back here – “

Harry, Ron, and Hermione legged it out the Hall, shoving the door shut behind them; Hermione took an extra moment to do a complicated little spell that she’d been using to keep secret her personal diary, since her roommates had a nasty habit of believing that anything that held possibly juicy gossip was theirs by default.

She caught up to the boys with difficulty, since Harry, even when weighed down by a two-stone kid, was stupid fast.

The boy unceremoniously slung over his shoulder watched the corridor go by with pained bemusement, occasionally waving to a straggling student who was late for lunch.

The door to the hospital wing loomed wide as Harry rushed right past it, scrambling up a staircase to the exclamations of his friends.

“Harry-“

He turned a corner and booked it to the grand staircase, thundering up the next flight two at a time.

“Harry, please! You need to take him back to the hospital wing!”

“Look at him, mate, he’s bleeding all over!”

“It’ll be fine,” Harry finally said, not pausing even as his arms and legs burned like fire under the exertion. “He’ll heal okay.”

“You can’t just know that - !”

Harry could, because he remembered this day. Harry had once asked very, very foolishly, why he was called ‘Boy’ at home and ‘Harry’ at school, and if his relatives had known his name was actually ‘Harry’.

Vernon beat him so hard he’d thought he was dying. It was the first time he’d ever used the belt, and Harry had spent the afternoon and the whole night in his cupboard praying, wishing that the angels would be nicer to him if he went to Heaven.

He remembered dreaming of a great, big room full of floating lights and black-clothed people, he remembered watching a woman speak, though he couldn’t understand her. Nobody had picked him up and ran off with him then; he’d fallen asleep, or passed out, or something, and when he woke up he was sore and stiff and achy, but alive, in the furthest place from heaven that his five-year-old mind could think of.

It wasn’t happening again. He couldn’t let it. The kid just looked so small.

The seventh-floor corridor flew past until the trio halted in front of a rather hideous tapestry, and Harry began to pace.

I need some place to hide a kid.

I need somewhere to keep a kid safe.

I need somewhere to hide a kid.

He reached for the doorknob before it even materialized and fell through with his friends on his heels, slamming the door behind him.

“Harry, what – ?”

“How did you know this was here, what is this, mate?”

“I asked Dobby if he knew of a place to get away,” Harry muttered, conveniently solving a problem that the author didn’t want to dig into.

No one in, he ordered. Steel bars emerged from the wooden door and embedded themselves in the stone around it. The room was small and dark, lit by a tiny fireplace that made soft light dance across the ceiling. Harry set the kid down on a plush sofa, pushing him a little when he tried to get away.

“Mm’not – “

“You’re allowed on the furniture,” Harry whispered, bent over him so that Ron and Hermione wouldn’t hear. Hermione looked like she had anyway.

A table appeared by the couch just as he was thinking of healing supplies, sporting bandages and rags, bowls of water, and a rather dusty bottle of murtlap essence.

Now that the running away was done Harry honestly felt rather empty. He didn’t want to do this with his friends watching, he truly didn’t, but he needed to think and he just couldn’t think right now, so his friends would have to reach for him.

“Er. Would you guys mind, I mean. Turning around? Please?”

Ron swiveled instantly, while Hermione looked like she wanted to argue. But at Harry’s insistent look she sighed and turned, leaning on the back of the couch beside Ron.

The kid was looking at him with wide eyes, bright green. Harry had never noticed how vivid they really were.

He wished he could think of something nice, but all he could think of in his moment was how accurate ‘green as a fresh-pickled toad’ actually had been.

“You look like me,” the kid said. Harry took a deep breath and held it for a moment.

Nodding, he grabbed a rag and the bowl of water.

“I want to get your back fixed up. Can you get your shirt off?”

Kid looked like he wanted to say more –

- ‘Don’t ask questions, you little freak’, Petunia would shriek –

But he set about pulling his arms out of the sleeves. Harry helped him get it over his head and scooted around to sit on the couch.

Harry had honestly never really seen anybody else extremely injured, or at least, not in a truly messy way. Quirrell turning to dust had happened rather quickly; they had knocked Snape out last year, but only a thin trickle of blood was evident there. The other Champions after the First Task had a few small cuts and bruises but that was it. Harry had had multiple grotesque, bloody injuries, and although they’d hurt like shite the sight of them didn’t really do much to him.

It was different, seeing it on somebody else.

The t-shirt had smeared the blood around rather gruesomely but the welts were worse than the cuts. Most of the blood was clogged and sticky; Harry wrung out the rag and gently tried to wash it away. The more he got off the worse the bruising looked; thick, dark lines welling up adjacent to the raised welts. The water in the bowl was reddish in no time, and he used the second bowl to finish up cleaning.

It would probably have been easier, he thought, if he could work on a smooth surface, but everything about the kid’s back was craggy; spine poking out like a mountain range, ribs showing more than could ever be healthy, the crests of his hipbones showing over the top of an overlarge pair of underpants held up with an old hair tie. Harry didn’t remember looking this nastily thin but he knew it was accurate, it was just…different. Seeing it on somebody else.

The same person. Somebody else who was the same person that he just snatched out of time and oh shit, he couldn’t take care of a kid!

“Sirius!”

Ron and Hermione jumped, spinning around reflexively. Harry tried to hold the t-shirt up like a curtain but it didn’t work one-handed.

“Oh, Harry – “

“We need to write to Sirius,” Harry said firmly, doing his best to ignore how watery Ron’s eyes were looking and, oh, god, it was all falling apart, he could not fucking handle this.

“Mate, I know he’s cool and all but the man’s living in a cave eating rats.”

“He offered to take me last year. SO. He probably had a house or something in mind, right? Just. Can you just write him really quickly, please?”

“Harry, we really should be going to Professor Dumbledore with this, shouldn’t we? He’ll be able to figure all of…this out, surely.”

Harry’s hands gripped the t-shirt tighter. Something in his throat squeezed shut, and he had to fight to open it again.

“Dumbledore will send him back. He’ll say it’s for our own protection and maybe he’ll talk to the Dursleys and he’ll promise that this won’t happen again and I’m not doing that, he, I. We’ll figure this out without Dumbledore, so please, please can you just go and write Sirius?”

Hermione had already given up on not crying but she nodded and wiped her face, shoving Ron across the room to the door, which opened just barely long enough to allow them through.

Harry turned back to the task at hand, dabbing at the cuts with a little bit of paste. The kid was starting to shiver. Harry gently pushed him forward just as the fire enlarged a little.

“Sirius is our – he’s my – he’s, shit.”

There were two Harry Potters, why was this his life.

“He’s our godfather,” Harry said, answering a question he knew had to be running around the kid’s head. “He was supposed to take us when our parents died but he was framed for murder and put in jail. He broke out of jail last year. I don’t know how he can help but he’d better have something.”

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That something turned out to be giving both Harrys a heart attack by showing up at the door fifty minutes later, scrambling at the wood like a bear trying to break into a storehouse. Small Harry jumped onto the arm of the couch as only-slightly-taller Harry opened the door for the enormous dog, who bounded in and changed into a man in one smooth motion, grabbing the older Harry in a bone-crushing hug as the door slammed shut.

The hug must have been too tight, because Harry suddenly was having a really, really hard time keeping from crying. Hugs from Sirius felt as safe and homey and achy as Mrs. Weasley’s embraces, but there was an element of mine that was added as well that kind of crushed something in his heart.

When Sirius let go he didn’t let go all the way; his hands stayed on Harry’s shoulders as he peered over his godson’s hair to look at…his? Other?? Godson??

Who was still standing upright on the couch, utterly agog at seeing a dog turn into a man.

Sirius took in the bloodied kid, the scarred forehead, the glaring ribcage, and the cringing teen all in one wide glance, and stepped forward and knelt, bringing him just below the kid’s height.

“So you must be young Harry Potter,” he said softly, giving the child a gentle smile. The boy shook his head, looking up at his counterpart with wide eyes.

“S’m’name’s Boy,” he mumbled. Sirius’s face told Harry that they were definitely going to be having A Discussion sometime soon, but he just cracked a smile and pulled a blanket over the kid’s skinny shoulders.

“Well, my name is Sirius, and I’m actually your godfather, so I’m going to be taking care of you now, alright?”

The boy – Harry, his name is HARRY, it’s HARRY, it’s not Boy, it’s not Freak, it’s HARRY – clenched the blanket in his little fists.

“What’s – “

“You got your dad’s cloak with you?” Harry, who hadn’t until the author needed him to, nodded.

“Good. Toss it over the kid and let’s go. I’m taking you to my house.”

Harry scrambled to fish his cloak out of his pocket while Sirius shoved the Room’s medical supplies into his own pockets, grabbing another blanket and tucking it securely around Harry-the-younger and picking him up. The boy looked terrified but didn’t say a word.

“We need to get to either your Common Room or McGonagall’s office,” Sirius said, waving his wand at his face and murmuring urgently. “Is there a mirror – ah.” At Harry’s thought, a claw-footed mirror appeared on the wall. Sirius trudged over and continued to spell his face, until he looked like a passable copy of Professor McGonagall.

“Can’t do much for the robes, I’m afraid, but it’ll do if we have to run for it. Sorry, Minne,” Sirius added in afterthought.

Harry walked them over to the door and thought very hard about Professor McGonagall’s office, which portraits and tapestries hung near it, what the hallway looked from the staircase at the end. The Room shuddered, and then the door shivered a bit and opened to look directly at McGonagall’s door.

Harry and Sirius shimmied out and nearly brained themselves on the wood when the door refused to open.

“Shit! I mean, shite.”

Sirius kicked the wood and started off to the stairs that led to Gryffindor Tower.

“She’s not in, I left the door jammed but she must have seen it, dammit.”

Harry trotted to keep up, listening to the horribly-accented mutters with pounding in his ears. Surely, surely somebody would notice them, they were going to get caught and this would be the end and –

“Mr…oh! Mr. Potter, stop right there!” The both of them whirled around to find Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione, and the actual Professor McGonagall turning the opposite corner. McGonagall looked a bit stunned for a moment, before indignation overtook her face and she marched right at them, proper robes and hat and all, like a tartan tiger having spotted its prey.

“Harry!”

“Mate!” “Sirius - ?”

“Book it.” “Black, don’t you dare – “

Sirius and Harry bolted up the stairs, screeching to a halt at the portrait before Harry gave the password and ducked through the entrance, startling a gaggle of second-years who were just stepping in.

“Muffliato!”

The few students hanging out in the Common Room immediately looked confused at the sudden buzzing in their ears, as Sirius dug a hand into the pocket of his robe and tossed an amount of floo powder into the fireplace.

Harry was suddenly burdened with thirty pounds of invisible child.

“You go through first, Harry,” Sirius said, as muffled yells echoed from outside the portrait hole. “It’s ‘Grimmauld Place,’ alright? Hurry.”

“Grimmauld Place, Grimmauld Place,” Harry muttered, remembering his last floo encounter. He stepped into the emerald flames just as the back of the portrait rocked. A few of the students around the Common Room began to look panicked and suspicious, realizing that ‘Professor McGonagall’ was looking somewhat different than usual.

Harry adjusted the kid, feeling him breathing quietly but quite heavily, and shouted “Grimmauld Place!” just as the portrait hole burst open.

The flames whisked him away before he saw more than Dumbledore’s wide eyes, and he and the kid tumbled out into a pitch-dark room.

There was a moment of alarm as he overbalanced and began to fall, then a strong hand grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him upright.

Sirius’s angular face was illuminated briefly by the flames, before he put a hand onto the lintel and said, “Nullus Introitus!” and the fire died immediately. The darkness fell with the ringing of iron bells, and despite the silence Harry’s labored breathing sounded strangely muffled. The hand on his shoulder was warm, though, and he held the kid tighter as his eyes began to adjust to the dark.

“Where are we?” he whispered. The darkness absorbed the sound like a sponge.

“We’re at my house,” Sirius murmured. His hand shifted on Harry’s shoulder as he moved forward, and suddenly there was light; with a gesture, Sirius had lit the wall sconces.

“Don’t move from that spot,” he said, “And don’t lose contact with me. This house isn’t very friendly, and I, uh. I haven’t been here for a while.”

The room they were in was coated in dust, but the green silk of the wallpaper was still able to be seen, and the sharp, lavish décor was no less harsh for its layers of neglect.

It wasn’t anything like Harry had seen before, and Sirius’s trepidation did nothing to assuage his nerves. But as the invisibly kid began to squirm, Harry-the-elder found himself enveloped in a pair of long, warm arms, the scratch of a beard tickling the top of his ear.

“We’re going to figure this out, Harry,” said Sirius, and finally the strings were cut. Harry sagged against his godfather’s chest and took a shaky breath, trying to control the burning in his eyes. A hand rubbed across his back, and if he had to wipe his eyes against Sirius’s velvet housecoat then nobody else was here to see it.

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A/N: Where did this come from? Why did I write this? Who fucking knows. I haven’t read the books since I was in high school so please forget inconsistencies in timeline and tidbits here and there. We’re taking 'fuck the source' as a writing style because fuck JKR. This wouldn't leave me alone until it was written so here it is. If there’s fourth wall breaks unusual to my writing style it’s because I’m mad.

Is there another Horcrux now that baby!Harry is present? Who fucking knows! Not me! This will not, not, NOT be continued upon, by golly!

I originally wrote this as happening in 5th year, mainly because that’s where the Angst ™ is and I kind of thought it would be hilarious to have Dumbledore just chilling at Grimmauld Place after he ditches Hogwarts in book five, like…where did he go? Boarding at the Hog’s Head with Aberforth just to annoy his brother? I feel like he would be an extremely pleasant and polite and tidy houseguest that absolutely every host wants to get rid of within half a day of his residence. Dumbledore can be stomached in small doses, not weeks living in the same house. And I want Sirius to get a little petty about it.

BUT Book Four has a lot more, uh, options. Of stuff. It’s past midnight, I don’t have a brain right now.

Also the books just kind of…sleep? On Harry’s horrendously abusive home life? Like it’s literally just there. I get that that’s kind of how it can feel at the time but uhhh that shit makes marks in weird and unexpected places. I know not much was actually touched upon but it’s canon that Harry’s been both choked and hit at with frying pans, and Vernon even smacks Dudley as well in the first book.

Anyway I’ve never read a fic of younger Harry time-travelling to the future, always book- or future-Harry travelling to the past, so here you go, bite me.

#my fic #harry potter #i honestly wasn't sure if I should post this or not with the debates and all of JKR's continued assholery #I know thou shalt not support by buying the books/movies/new game etc #but what about at-home folks just reading or writing or drawing?#Folks who write or draw out of grief? Out of spite? To process something? Honest question

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katieskarlette · 2 years ago

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Between having Covid and then being laid off from my job (sorta...long story), I’ve had a incredibly shitty time lately and I needed a new mindless distraction. After watching CallMeKevin on YouTube play Stardew Valley, and talking to a couple RL friends who have played it, I decided to give it a shot. Instant addiction.

Cut for off-topicness.

The game appeals to my love of collecting stuff, organizing stuff, and exploring. I’m too ace to care about the dating aspect, and so far I suck at fishing, but the rest is right up my alley.

I haven’t even visited the desert yet despite unlocking the bus ages ago because there’s just so much to do.

I started with the beach farm because A.) tropical beaches are my favorite aesthetic (even though it turns out this one isn’t tropical), and B.) that’s the one I watched CallMeKevin play. I’ve learned since that it’s an annoying choice because you can’t use sprinklers on the sand terrain, but since I’ve never known anything else I don’t mind it that much.

I have cows, goats, pigs, ducks, chickens, rabbits, and a horse. I want ostriches but haven’t gotten to the place where I can get them. I named my rabbits after Watership Down characters, and my ducks are named for Donald Duck’s family members. I had to turn off breeding for my goats because they kept having babies. I tried to be patient and wait for my pig to reproduce because they’re so expensive, but after a year in-game I gave up and bought a second one. Yay, Truffle$!

I made the tier list here, but excluded characters I haven’t met yet.

Linus is a pure cinnamon roll. Krobus is the cutest sewer-dwelling shadow creature I’ve ever met and now I feel bad any time I have to kill one of his kind in the mines. Marlon gives me serious World of Warcraft character vibes for some reason...possibly the beard/’stache combo. Evelyn is everyone’s grandma and she sends me baked goods in the mail. Willy is super nice, too, and I have to like someone who’s that obsessed with fish.

Harvey is shy and socially awkward in an endearing way, even if he’s a bit of a stick-in-the-mud. Penny is a sweetie who homeschools (er...librarymuseumschools) other people’s kids out of the kindness of her heart. Robin built most of my farm and was nice enough to sell me a catalog that essentially puts her out business as far as furniture making. Abigail has gorgeous hair and I like how early on she has some grouchy interactions and some friendly ones instead of being all grouchy or all cheerful like some others. Gus is super friendly and helpful. I’m still a mage at heart even when I’m not playing WoW, so I have a soft spot for the wizard, plus he’s mysterious so I can imagine him being cooler than he probably is. Elliot is a pretentious snob but in a fun way and reminds me of an old OC of mine.

Lewis is an interesting character but he’s a politician...with all that implies. Emily was the first person to start sending me random gifts in the mail and her smile is infectious. Gunther has my dream job, running a combination museum/library. George ranks this high because grumpy old men in video games are much more fun that they are in RL. Marnie provides me with adorable animals. Vincent is one of those rare child characters who isn’t cloying or annoying. Alex is nicer than I expected a jock to be. I liked Clint to begin with but after he turned up his nose at several gifts that I thought he’d like, had a pity party for himself at every holiday gathering, gave off incel vibes, and closed his shop stupidly early in the day...yeah, not such a fav anymore. Gil doesn’t say much but I have to respect a guy who sits back and orders others to kill huge numbers of slimes...Khadgar vibes, you could say. ;)

Demetrius is smart and gave me ‘shrooms. Leah seems nice but I don’t know her that well. Sam is pretty nice but I can’t take him seriously with that anime hair. Caroline is pretty boring except for that whole rumor about her having an affair with the wizard. Pierre charges an arm and a leg for inventory upgrades and is kind of cocky. Kent is okay, if standoffish for understandable reasons. I feel guilty ranking Grandpa so low, but he looks like Santa Claus went through a machine spraying fake snow, and he didn’t cut me any slack for not having a perfect farm on my first playthrough. Shane is rude, and although I’ve read up on his backstory and his demons I still don’t like him, and I hate his frayed hoodie.

I haven’t interacted with Maru much but haven’t really been inspired to, either. Pam is okay but I can’t condone drunk bus driving. Sebastian is a cliche emo kid and that’s never been my thing. Jas has stupid hair, and I gave her a nice gift once but the next time I interacted with her she said she’d never met me...ungrateful brat. Haley is vain, said I was smelly, and has outright ignored me multiple times. I don’t know why Jodi annoys me, but she does. I ranked the Governor so low because he didn’t like my contributions to the stew the first two years, when I was actually trying, and the third year when I almost forgot and just threw in a random item he actually liked it. The dwarf ranks low because I sold off all the scrolls I should have given to him, and of course now they won’t drop for me again.

Morris is an evil corporate scumbag and has a stupid bowtie.

#KS plays Stardew Valley #pointless personal stuff

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jackrrabbit · 5 years ago

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it will come back [pt. 2] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 1] [Part 3]

A/N: Title from the Hozier song—“don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: yandere, violence (not directed toward reader), crying, Shiggy REALLY likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep, non-explicit sexual content. [In later parts: 18+, sex, other stuff]

He—Tomura—keeps visiting.

At first you think it’s because of the free medical care, and you wish you had the spine to tell him to suck it up and go see a professional. After a couple weeks turn into a couple months and his wounds fade into ragged purple scars, though, you start to think differently.

Within a short time Tomura has figured out your work schedule, and he does a decent job of not showing up after your long shifts. The unavoidable consequence of this is that he ends up monopolizing your precious days off, but you come to the realization about a month and a half in that you don’t actually mind. You like it. It’s like spending time with a friend.

Mostly you guys talk. It doesn’t seem like Tomura really has anyone to talk to the way the two of you do, but that’s probably just you projecting. It’s usually shallow stuff—TV shows you like, video games he plays, funny stories from patients you treated. Sometimes when you’re cooking for yourself, you make extra for him. (It happens a lot, actually, and at one point you bring up how much his appetite is costing you and the next time you see him he brings a bag of rice and makes you a porridge that crunches between your teeth when you try to eat it. You can’t finish yours, but he eats an entire bowl and insists that you’re being picky.)

Sometimes he sleeps over on the couch, but he’s always gone when you wake up.

The two of you skirt around the heavier stuff, and you know it’s intentional on his part. You have to resist the urge to ask him about being a villain—he’s all but confirmed it for you, and it’s human nature to be curious, isn’t it? In the same way you can’t help looking at a car crash, you want to poke and prod and find out what it is, exactly, that Tomura does for a living. That part of his life is suspiciously absent from your discussions—if you didn’t know better, you’d think he spends all of his time sleeping and playing games and breaking into your place.

On the other hand, you don’t want to know. Plausible deniability. You can accept criminality in the abstract, but you’ve treated too many victims of the bullshit hero–villain battle to be comfortable really knowing why Tomura avoids public places.

So you don’t ask about it, and Tomura doesn’t tell, and you don’t look up his name. And it’s easy. It’s nice. You’d forgotten what it’s like to come back to a home that isn’t empty.

And then one day when you get off a few hours early from your shift, you stop by a convenience store to pick up some snacks for yourself (hey, you’ve been working hard, you’re entitled to binge a little on foods that you’re afraid to look at the fat content for), and you think, Hm, I wonder if Tomura wants some.

[You: 7:49 PM] > Are you coming over today? [T: 7:49 PM] > Yeah why [You: 7:51 PM] > Getting snacks > Want some? [T: 7:51 PM] > No

[T: 8:12 PM] > When r u coming back to ur place

[T: 8:58 PM] > Hey where are you

[T: 9:39 PM] > (Y/N)?

There’s a man with a gun in the convenience store.

It takes you a second to process at first. You’re standing in the snack food aisle seeking out Oreos and debating the merits of Double Stuf vs. Mega when you catch the mumbled demand and the metallic clicking noise you’ve only ever heard in movies before. It’s a gun—you know that, but your mind dismisses it because it’s ridiculous. Guns are rare in hero society. People don’t go around robbing bodegas at gunpoint anymore.

(You should know better. You work in a goddamn ER. But you compartmentalize, and the crimes you see written across your patients’ bodies stay out of the realm of your personal life because you need them to.)

It’s only when you see the muzzle of a hunting rifle pushed up to the cashier’s sweaty neck that you really understand what’s happening.

You drop to the ground immediately, looking toward the exit but it’s shut and there’s some kind of metal…thing holding the door closed. The cashier mumbles a denial and you can hear him fumble around with the cash drawer for what feels like ages.

It’s real. This is real. You’re in the middle of a robbery. Where are the heroes? Why isn’t anyone doing anything?

God, you’re a hypocrite, cowering behind the aisle divider and waiting for someone to step up while the robber’s demands get increasingly louder and more frantic. He wants money, and the cashier (who, you remember, is a man in his sixties with hands that shake with Parkinson’s when he holds out your receipt) isn’t being fast enough.

“That’s it? There’s no more? Are you fucking kidding me, there’s gotta be a safe or something—“

“No! No, p-please, I’m sorry, this is all I have!”

You cringe, crushing your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re surprised you can hear at all over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Don’t fuck with me old man, I know there’s more! Show me the safe or I’ll blow your goddamn brains out!”

No! You have to do something. You can’t just sit here. You’ve heard plenty of death threats from your patients (not to mention that one from Tomura), and you know the difference between a bluff and a serious warning. Maybe you can catch the robber off guard, try to pull the gun away? You stand up quickly, hoping against hope that you won’t regret this, but in a split second you see that the cashier has the same idea and he’s trying to pull the rifle out of the robber’s hand and—

BANG.

Something warm and wet splatters across your face.

///

Tomura is angry when you get back to the apartment. As soon as he hears your key in the lock he rises from your couch so he can grab your collar with three fingers, jerking your head up to force you to look at him. “Where have you been? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting—“

But he cuts short in the middle of his sentence. Maybe because he sees the look on your face. Or maybe he just notices the traces of blood you haven’t been able to wipe off.

“What happened,” Tomura says. It’s not a question. He adjusts his grip slightly so it’s not quite as punishing, but you hold still anyway.

You have to force your mouth open in order to speak, but when your voice comes out it’s more steady than you thought it would be. “It’s not my blood. There was a robbery at the store. The cashier got shot.”

“Oh.” He releases you and frowns. “That’s it?”

“Fuck you.” You push past him into the kitchen to get yourself a drink with trembling hands. Pantry’s out of shōchū, whiskey will just make you sicker—ahh, there it is. Baijiu. The glug glug glug of the liquor into the glass does nothing to put your nerves at ease, but you pour yourself a double anyway.

“Wait—wait.” Tomura’s hands twitch and rub over his arms like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you. “Calm down. Why are you so upset? Don’t you see this stuff every day?”

You do. You’re an ER nurse. There’s no injury you haven’t seen. But it’s not about the blood. “I...I knew him. The cashier. He was nice. He had a grandkid on the way. I—“ You bite your lip and down the baijiu in one gulp. It burns.

Tomura clearly doesn’t know how to comfort you; probably doesn’t even really know why you need to be comforted. What does it mean that death is so meaningless to him? you wonder. But you need someone to listen to you, clueless or not, and Tomura will have to do.

The baijiu is still bitter and hot down your throat when you speak again. “You know something? Know what they asked me when the heroes finally showed up and pulled us out of there, me and the corpse?”

“…What?” Tomura asks warily.

“They stuck a camera in my face and asked me if there was anything I wanted to say to the hero who saved me. Any words of gratitude I wanted to share,” you spit. Now it’s your turn to feel your hands making fists at your sides. Your fingernails scratch into your palms like the pain can be an outlet for the sudden overwhelming fury spilling over you. “They didn’t save him. They were too late.”

Tomura’s eyes widen, and through your curtain of anger you can tell he’s looking at you in a way he’s never looked at you before. It’s unlike him to even look directly at you, and when he does it’s usually in disinterest or half-sincere irritation. This, though…this is different. He’s watching you like a believer watches a prophet. You can tell—or at least some deep, ugly part of you that you hope is wrong can tell—that he’s trying not to smile.

“I hate this,” you say, and the first tear drips out of your eye and runs down your cheek. It’s awful. You don’t want to cry in front of Tomura. You don’t want to show him how weak you are. But before you can wipe it away, Tomura’s hand comes up and does it for you, smearing the tear over your cheek in a gesture that—for him—is oddly tender.

Then he hugs you.

It’s stiff and awkward, like he’s forgotten how to do it, but the intention is clear. His arms fold around your back, pulling you into his chest while his chin makes its way to rest on your shoulder. He’s leaning into you so deeply that your spine is arched back, and you stagger away from him only for him to step closer again to make up the distance.

“It’s not fair, hm,” he murmurs into your hair. His tone is the closest thing to sympathy you’ve ever heard from him, but there’s an undercurrent of excitement you can’t ignore. “They’re always too late, aren’t they? The heroes… And everyone will watch that video of you thanking the heroes, and they’ll think they’re safe too. They’ll keep going about their lives and think that nothing bad can happen to them because a hero will always be around to save them…but you and I know that’s a lie.”

It takes you a second to recognize the emotion that’s raising goosebumps over your arms while Tomura rubs circles into your back, but when it clicks you shiver because it’s fear. You’ve never really been afraid of Tomura before, even when you should’ve been. Does he realize he’s backing you up with how forcefully he’s pushing himself into you? The backs of your knees hit the arm of your couch and you topple onto it with Tomura following.

He holds himself above you on his hands, legs tangled with yours. His eyes are wild and he’s not even trying to suppress his grin now. You’re trapped lying on your back under him—pinned like a butterfly under glass.

“Get off of me,” you say as calmly as you can.

“It’s all a lie, all of it…” A hand comes up and strokes your cheek, rubbing with two fingers at a stray fleck of blood on your neck. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but I’m so glad you understand…”

“Let me up now, Tomura.”

He holds still for a long moment—waiting, thinking, considering—and then sits up, still straddling you but loosely enough that you can scramble back away from him on the couch. Your heart is racing, but you try to slow your breaths so he doesn’t pick up on how scared you are.

“Don’t freak out. You’re no fun,” Tomura says, and you exhale a sigh of relief at how normal he sounds. You never thought you’d be so happy about him looking at you like you’re nothing.

“I think you should go,” you say carefully.

He rocks back on his heels and runs a hand through his hair. “Are you mad? I thought I could stay here tonight, like usual. Since I waited for so long.”

“I’m not mad. I just…want to be alone.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone tonight. Not after what you’ve been through.”

Oh, now you care. “Fine. Okay? Fine. You can sleep on the couch.” You’re too tired to argue any more, and you’ve never really been good at convincing Tomura to do anything he doesn’t want to. It’s a miracle he listened to you when you told him to get off you. Considering how often he breaks into your apartment, it’s not like you could keep him out anyway.

So he stays the night. He doesn’t bother you when you take a shower and go to bed, he just lies on the couch in his street clothes. When you wake up in the morning he’s disappeared like he always does, and for the first time since you met him you’re truly relieved that he’s gone.

///

You always thought it would take some level of courage you don’t possess to actually bite the bullet and look Tomura up. To do so would mean saying goodbye to whatever strange relationship the two of you have built over the months, and you’re just not brave enough to risk it.

Turns out it’s not courage that makes you type his name into the search bar. It’s cowardice. You’re lying in bed under the covers when you do it, and the blue-white screen of your laptop is the only light in the room. Your comforter is pulled up almost over your head like it’s a wall that can block out reality.

“tomura”, you enter into the search bar, but you don’t hit return. Instead, you look at the search suggestions.

> tomura shigaraki > tomura shigaraki league of villains > tomura shigaraki decay

Something about it sounds familiar. But you’re not ready. Still, after everything, you’d rather keep your eyes closed. You backspace and snap your laptop shut, and when you do your room is so dark that you think the emptiness might swallow you up.

///

[T: 5:52 PM] > Are u going to be at home tn

[T: 6:14 PM] > Hey check ur phone

[T: 6:42 PM] > Stop ignoring me > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N) > (Y/N)

[T: 6:46 PM] 3 MISSED CALLS [You: 6:50 PM] > I’m at work [T: 6:50 PM] > Don’t lie > you finished an hour ago

[T: 7:13 PM] 1 MISSED CALL [T: 7:14 PM] > You said you werent mad [You: 7:15 PM] > I’m not [T: 7:15 PM] > Then stop being a brat > im coming over > ill bring takeout

You’re nervous about seeing him, but in the two weeks since he pushed you down on the couch you’ve found yourself…missing him. Like it or not, he’s made himself a fixture in your life. So when you get home you’re brimming with anticipation, wondering who you’ll get when you open the door—the normal Tomura you’ve come to like over the past few months, or the one from that night. The villain.

But it’s just him. Good old Tomura, laden with plastic bags and containers of greasy fast food for the two of you to gorge yourselves on. You tease him for being cheap and he argues that you’re just a snob and everything seems so normal that you can almost forget the look in his red eyes when he told you that you understood.

Almost.

///

You probably have no idea how good you look when you’re crying.

Of the couple thousand views on the news channel video of your “rescue” from the convenience store robber, at least a tenth are from Tomura. Eventually he just downloads the video onto his computer so he doesn’t have to read the inane comments that the other viewers leave on the webpage. It seems like everyone but him thinks you should feel lucky that you were saved by a hero before the robber could get to you, too.

As always, the public are a bunch of shit-soaked morons. Reading the comments makes him angry, so angry he’s tempted to look into a few of these brainless sheep and see how lucky they feel when they’ve caught the attention of a violent criminal. But that wouldn’t be productive, so he saves the video externally and leaves the news website alone. It’s for the best. Besides, seeing the “views” counter on the website tick up and up by the dozen every time he refreshes is just another reminder that other people are watching this; other people are seeing how delicate and vulnerable and pretty you are with tears spilling out of your eyes and the cashier’s blood sprayed over your clothing.

Thousands of useless fucking NPCs are looking at you just like Tomura is. They’re probably thinking about how sweet you look, just like he is. And they’re probably imagining all the ways they can take advantage of your fragile emotional state, just like him.

You’re too trusting for your own good. Tomura used to think it was a virtue, and it is, but only when it comes to him. Whenever he thinks about how your face is slapped over a dozen different news websites for the whole world to see, he has to dig his fingernails into his neck to keep calm. It’s better when he can just watch the video and pretend he’s the only one seeing it.

And it’s not like not watching the video is an option. Tomura can’t resist your crying face. There’s a point around the three minute mark where your voice breaks in the middle of your statement, and sometimes Tomura skips there in the video just so he can hear that pathetic little sob and replay it over and over and over. Maybe it’s sappy, but Tomura really does feel his heart skip a beat at the way your eyes and nose are rubbed red from your misery.

How fucked up is it that he gets off watching you cry?

Would you be angry if you knew? You probably would, but you put up with so much from him already. Maybe you’d be okay with it if he told you he really and truly tried to hold out. The first dozen times Tomura watched the video, he refused to touch himself no matter how tight his pants got while you choked out your stilted answers to the reporters’ questions, but at this point he barely has to click “play” on the video before he gets hard and takes matters into his own hands.

At the end of the day, it’s your fault. Everything about you is so erotic, from your shaky voice to your pouty, bitten-red lips. Isn’t it completely normal to be aroused while looking at the person you like? And Tomura likes you, he really likes you. He doesn’t have any pictures of you, and with the high definition of the news channel’s video he can see every perfect contour of your cheekbones, every pore in your skin, every glistening wet eyelash.

It’s not that Tomura doesn’t feel sympathy for how upset you are in the video. He does! Not even just sympathy, even—he’s empathetic. He knows exactly how it feels to be let down by the heroes. How dare they tell you you need to be grateful while you’re still trying to wipe brain matter off your shirt? Always too little, too late. It’s not fair.

But if he’s being honest? As miserable as you are, Tomura is happy that you were in the store when that robber came in and that you had to watch a man you knew get his brains blown out in front of you. You need a wake-up call to lose faith in hero society. If you have to suffer some emotional trauma in the process, that seems like a fair price to pay.

And the fact that Tomura gets to jerk off to it? It’s almost like destiny.

➠ [Part 3]

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chicgeekgirl89 · 4 years ago

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Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Written for @badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Prompt: Hurts to Breathe

Summary: When Carlos goes on a welfare check he finds himself in a situation a little outside of his norm. And he is definitely not interested in a career change. Written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Hurts to Breathe."

AO3 Link

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It started out as a welfare check. Simple. Easy. Something Carlos enjoyed. If he could bring some light into the day of someone who was typically shut in at home it made the nastier parts of his job worth it.

The low income housing complex buzzed with the sounds of family. Kids running up and down the stairs, women calling to each other from apartment to apartment, and the smells of familiar food drifting through the halls made the place feel homey despite the peeling paint and walls stained with years of cigarette smoke and dirty hands.

It took a while for Mr. Lopez to respond to their knocks, probably because he was pushing eighty-five and nearly blind. Still, he smiled cheerily as he welcomed Carlos and his partner inside. “We just wanted to check on you Mr. Lopez,” Mitchell said. “Your daughter called and said you hadn’t answered your phone in a few days.”

“Oh I can’t find it,” he responded. “Lost the thing and don’t know where I put it.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d made a visit to Mr. Lopez’s residence. He misplaced his phone on a regular basis and Carlos always worried that they would find him in something other than perfect health, but so far the man had proved to be pretty resilient.

“Here it is Mr. Lopez,” Carlos said, pulling it from under a couch cushion and turning up the volume. “I’m going to put it on the table for you okay?”

“Oh, thank you so much,” he said.

“Mr. Lopez are you doing okay in here? Is there anything that you need?” Mitchell asked as Carlos made a quiet and careful inspection of the cupboards and refrigerator.

The contents were somewhat meager, a loaf of bread, a couple cans of beans. But the refrigerator revealed a tray of tamales, probably made by someone in the building if Carlos had to guess. It was good to know the neighbors were watching out for one another.

“No no, I am doing fine,” Mr. Lopez said. “My Angela, she just worries.”

They chatted for about fifteen minutes, the elderly man sharing stories about his grandchildren and generally basking in having the attention of his guests.

Unfortunately they couldn’t stay all day. “Mr. Lopez—“ Carlos began to say goodbye but cut himself off as an unpleasant smell wafted past his nose.

He sniffed the air, forehead wrinkling. “Reyes?” Mitchell asked.

“Do you smell that?”

She sniffed too. “Mr. Lopez do you have your stove on?” Carlos asked, already turning to check.

“No. I haven’t used it all day.”

Carlos moved to the door, sticking his head into the hallway, stomach sinking as the smell grew stronger. “It’s gas,” he said to Mitchell.

“Are you sure?”

“I live with a firefighter, I know what gas smells like.”

“I’ll call it in,” Mitchell said, reaching for her radio.

“We need to get everyone out of the building,” Carlos said, already moving to knock at the next apartment.

The smell grew stronger as they went door to door sending men, women, and children charging down the stairs and into the street. Fortunately the building was small; it didn’t take long to sound the alarm. Within minutes it was nearly empty, which was good because the smell was only growing sharper with each passing second. “I’ll get Mr. Lopez,” Carlos said as they sent the last group of people down the stairs. “Get outside and tell the first truck that it’s a potential leak and they need to get in here fast.”

He jogged back up to Mr. Lopez’s apartment to find him leaning heavily against the doorframe. “Come on Mr. Lopez,” he said, taking him by the arm. “We need to get out of here.”

They only made it to the second floor landing before the world exploded. One minute he was on his feet and the next Carlos was opening his eyes on the floor, head dizzy, lungs thick with smoke and ash. He tried to push himself to his feet but his muscles felt as if they’d liquified. Had he passed out? How long had they been lying on the ground breathing in smoke?

“Mr. Lopez?” He managed to get onto his knees, crawling blindly, trying to find the elderly man’s form.

There was a groan to his left and he turned, hands searching in the darkness, fumbling until his fingers found clothing and then a body. “Mr. Lopez!” he gasped.

The man was unconscious and Carlos scrambled to try and find his pulse. It was there, but weak. “Mr. Lopez,” he choked out again, shaking the man a bit to try and rouse him. “Mr. Lopez come on!”

He sucked in a breath and choked, coughing so hard that tears began to stream down his face.

“Officer Reyes!”

At first he thought he was imagining someone yelling his name, but then the call came again. “Officer Reyes! Fire department! Call out!”

He tried to yell back, only managing a desperate wheeze the first time before finally the word, “Here!” croaked past his lips.

Within seconds a group of firefighters appeared through the smoke. “Take Mr. Lopez,” Carlos choked out as the first one pulled him to his feet.

“How about we take you both sir?” the man said.

“I’m fine,” he started to say, but his knees buckled and he would have fallen if the man hadn’t held him up.

“Let’s get you out of here,” he said and Carlos nodded.

He’d thought as soon as they got outside, away from the toxic fumes of gas and smoke that his breathing would ease, but if anything the fresh air only made him cough harder. His throat was burning and his chest was so tight he would have ripped his uniform open if he’d had the strength, just to get some relief from the pressure.

The man sat him on the back of a firetruck and a paramedic he vaguely recognized in the way he vaguely recognized much of the city’s emergency personnel descended on him, oxygen and penlight at the ready. “I’m fine,” Carlos ground out, shocked out how gravelly his voice sounded.

“Sir you were in that building for almost ten minutes breathing in gas and smoke. I need to give you a once-over. No arguments,” she said when he opened his mouth to protest. “That’s part of my job, just like helping people is your job.”

Carlos could only nod, letting his head fall back against the truck as he struggled for breath.

“What’s your name Officer?”

“Reyes,” Carlos said, the word barely escaping his raw throat.

“Okay Officer Reyes, I’m Lila. I’m going to ask you a few questions. You can take your time answering. Did you hit your head?”

Carlos swallowed hard and tried to remember. “I—I don’t know. There was an explosion and then I was on the ground.”

“That’s all right. Anything in particular hurting? Your head? Your legs?”

“Just my chest is tight.” God if that wasn’t an understatement. He felt like he was suffocating.

She slipped an oxygen mask over his face. “This should help. Try and take some nice, slow breaths,” she said as she reached for his wrist to take his pulse.

With the oxygen finally easing his breathing a little bit he began to notice the stinging in his eyes, the dizziness in his head, the lethargy he felt in his limbs.

He closed his eyes for a moment trying to get his bearings. Everything seemed fuzzy around the edges. The next thing he knew a familiar voice was saying his name.

“Oh my god, Carlos?” T.K. dropped to one knee in front of him, eyes wide with horror.

“Hey,” Carlos said, managing a slightly lopsided smile. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I—? Carlos what happened?” T.K. asked urgently.

“Gas,” Carlos said, the word muffled by the oxygen mask and the hoarseness in his throat. “There was an explosion.”

“He yours T.K.?” Lila asked.

“Yes, he is,” T.K. said. “What’s the situation?”

“Pulse is a little fast, but strong. No fractures or concussion that I can tell. He took in a lot of smoke though, his lungs don’t sound great.”

Carlos pulled the oxygen away from his mouth. “Is Mr. Lopez all right?”

“My partner is working on him,” Lila said. “He’s in good hands.”

“Let’s just worry about you right now,” T.K. said, clearly vacillating between concerned paramedic and concerned boyfriend.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, just as he choked again and hacked a cough so hard it felt like his lungs were trying to leave his body.

“That’s definitely not all right,” T.K. said, jaw tight as he gently replaced the oxygen on Carlos’ face. “You’re going to the hospital.”

Carlos looked at him through watery eyes and T.K. seemed to sense every, single one of his feelings, the exhaustion, the fear, the annoyance, the pain, because he wrapped one of Carlos’ hands solidly in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay,” T.K. said softly. “Just do what the doctors tell you and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Carlos nodded, allowing T.K. and Lila to help him to his feet and over to the ambulance where Mr. Lopez was already tucked in and waiting. “I have to go,” T.K. said, when Carlos was seated. He cupped Carlos’ cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Carlos said. A thought finally crossed his mind, severely delayed apparently by trauma, and he grabbed T.K.’s hand as he turned to go. “My partner—“

“I’ll find her and tell her you’re okay,” T.K. assured him. “Just keep breathing deep and I’ll see you soon.”

They arrived at the hospital and Mr. Lopez was whisked away while Carlos was ushered to a bed in the ER where they hooked him up to a heart monitor and increased his oxygen with promises that a doctor would be with him shortly.

There were blood draws and x-rays and a lot of questions about whether or not he’d passed out, if he had any pre-existing conditions, if he had a headache, and a number of other things that Carlos did his best to answer, all while feeling like he’d been hit by a truck.

They were nearly finished when T.K. appeared, making a beeline for Carlos’ curtain. “Hey,” he said, hands coming to rest on the bed rails, anxiety causing him to grip them tightly and turn his knuckles white. “Doc? How’s he doing?”

“I think he’ll make a full recovery,” the doctor said with a smile. “I’m going to send him home with an inhaler. And of course come back if you experience severe shortness of breath or any other alarming symptoms.”

“How are you feeling?” T.K. asked as the doctor left to go ready the discharge paperwork.

“Better,” Carlos said. The steady stream of oxygen had helped significantly, although being able to breathe properly meant he could now feel every other ache and pain in his body. He was going to be in a world of hurt tomorrow.

T.K. gave him a concerned smile as if he wasn’t sure Carlos was telling him the whole truth but didn’t want to push him. He brushed a stray curl from Carlos’ forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

“Aren’t you on shift?” Carlos asked.

“Babe it’s almost 5:30. My shift ended half an hour ago.”

Carlos shook his head. “I guess I lost track of time.”

“That’s okay.” T.K. rubbed his arm. “You’ve had a rough day.”

Carlos fell asleep almost immediately in the car and didn’t wake up until T.K. nudged him gently as they pulled into the driveway.

He would have been fine with the couch but T.K. insisted he go all the way upstairs to bed. And Carlos insisted on a shower first because there was no way he was getting between clean sheets with ash and dirt and smoke in his hair.

“I can feel you worrying,” he said over the sound of the water.

Through the curtain he could see T.K.’s silhouette, arms crossed, leaning against the wall with a frown on his face. “You don’t have to stand there. I’m not going to collapse in the shower.”

“I’m good,” T.K. said stubbornly.

He silently held out a towel when Carlos finished, hovering as he dried off. “T.K. I swear to you that I can make from the ensuite to the bed without help,” Carlos said.

“I’m just…here if you need me,” T.K. told him, attempting and failing at a nonchalant demeanor.

He did disappear while Carlos pulled on some boxers and a pair of sweatpants only to return moments later, a stack of pillows in his arms. Carlos raised his eyebrows from where he’d finally seated himself in bed.

“Here.” T.K. shoved one behind him then reached for another.

“What are you doing?”

“We need to keep your airway open,” T.K. said as he grabbed a third.

“Babe, babe stop!” Carlos said, trying for a laugh, but only managing to send himself into another coughing fit.

T.K. sank down onto the bed and rested a hand on Carlos’ knee until he caught his breath. “It’s okay,” Carlos said, managing a teary eyed smile, “it only hurts when I breathe.”

T.K. shook his head. “I am trying really hard not to freak out here.”

“Oh this is you not freaking out?” Carlos teased.

T.K. fixed him with a look. “I said trying.” His face softened and he gently poked a finger into Carlos’ shoulder for emphasis. “You are not a firefighter. You’re not supposed to be inside burning buildings. I think I have a right to be a little concerned.”

“If I’d had any choice in the matter I wouldn’t have been in there, trust me,” Carlos said. “Won’t happen again if I can help it. I’m definitely not interested in a career change.”

T.K. still looked unsettled so Carlos took his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll be all right T.K. I promise. I just need a good night’s sleep.”

“Do you want anything before you go to bed? Something to eat? Ibuprofen? Oh tea! I should make you some tea for your throat!”

He started to get up but Carlos caught his hand and pulled him gently back down onto the bed. “Just…stay here with me?”

“Yeah, yes, of course,” T.K. said immediately, kicking off his shoes and sliding up against the headboard.

He wrapped an arm around Carlos’ waist and Carlos released a long sigh, nestling back into his embrace. “I’m sorry that I scared you.”

“Shh,” T.K. said, pressing a kiss to his hair. “You don’t need to apologize. You were doing your job and I’m proud of you. That it’s going to take me a minute to deal with the emotional fallout is my own problem. You just close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“Thanks,” Carlos mumbled as T.K. began to run his fingers through his curls.

For the first time all day he felt safe and relaxed and it wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep.

#911 Lone Star #Tarlos #Carlos Reyes #T.K. Strand #Tarlos Fanfic #Carlos whump #badthingshappenbingo #Hurts to Breathe #Don't Quit Your Day Job #Sorry that you're going to get almost flambéd twice Carlos #It was an accident I promise

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baroquebucky · 5 years ago

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carne asada

a/n: hey guys ! i feel like there’s no latina fanfics out there and being salvadorian i think that SUCKS so I’m here to change it >:) i included translations for the Spanish parts so even if u don’t know it you can still enjoy it ! Feel free to request :-)

in which you culture timothée goes to the family carne asada for the first time

“mon amour how does this look?” Timothée asked, emerging from the room in a loose button up shirt and nice pants. He looked great, much too formal for a Hispanic cook out though. You smiled at him, “ay amor, it looks good, maybe put on some jeans instead of dress pants though” you teased him, watching his face flush red before he quickly went back into the room to change once more.

You quickly replied to your moms text, telling her you would be on your way in a couple minutes. Soon timothée rushed out of the room, look at you for reassurance. You smiled sweetly at him, standing up and walking over to the nervous boy.

“they’re going to love you bebe i promise you, the worse that can happen is that they hate you and call you un baboso or something” you assured your boyfriend, laughing as his eyes went wide. “I’m joking! They already love you” you giggled, placing a small kiss on his cheek before turning around and swiping the keys off the table, walking to the door and making sure you weren’t forgetting anything.

“you ready?” You turned to your boyfriend, he smiled at you softly before running a hand through his hair and nodding, you tossed the keys at him and he caught them quickly. You held the door open for him and he laughed at how you bowed slightly for him, quickly following suit. You locked the door and headed to your car.

The drive there was relaxing for you, laughing and pointing things out from your childhood as you drive into your neighborhood. Timmy tried his best to pay attention, but his mind was racing, he always read how Hispanic parents were always so critical of everything, how could he not be scared?

“amor? estás poniendo atención?” (are you paying attention) you looked at him, he quickly turned to you before focusing back on the road. “oh what? yeah sorry- just really nervous still” he replied, biting his bottom lip for a couple seconds before letting out a shaky breath. Although he didn’t know Spanish you always spoke it around him, translating after he would look at you like a helpless puppy, so he had picked up on a few phrases.

You never felt bad when you talked to him in Spanish since he did the same thing to you but in French. Sometimes just to get back at him you would talk to him in only Spanish and he would get frustrated because the little Spanish he knew flew out the window when you spoke. Between the slang words you used, how fast you were speaking and how attractive he found you speaking Spanish was the boy was mesmerized.

“angelito you don’t need to be nervous, i promise you they’re going to love you” you assured the nervous boy, placing a hand on his thigh as he continued to drive. He relaxed a little bit, smiling at you for a second before pulling into your street. He let out a shaky breath as he parked the car, looking in the mirror to check his hair one more time. He quickly rushed out of the car to open your door and help you out, you gladly took his hand as he locked the car. Even from where you were parked you could hear the music blasting and the sound of your family bickering and laughing. You smiled, excited for your boyfriend to experience a real carne asada with you and to meet your family.

“you ready?” You asked him, “not at all ma cherie” he spoke, you felt his hands get clammy, you smiled at him, kissing him in the cheek. “Wipe your hands on your jeans and calm down” you giggled, walking up to the front door, as you were about to ring the doorbell the door swung open to reveal your mom.

“mijita! ay te e extrañado tanto mi amor! Que chula te miras” (darling! I’ve missing you so much honey, you look so cute) your mom began, taking you into a warm embrace and scanning you all over to take in any differences from the span of several months since you had visited. “I missed you too mom” you replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“y este bicho guapo?” (who’s this handsome boy) Your mom began causing you to burst out laughing. “mom this is timothée my boyfriend” you smiled, moving to the side so timmy could hug your mom.

“muy bien conocerla” (it’s so good to meet you) timothee spoke, cringing at his broken Spanish. “It’s okay i know English” your mom smiled at the boy, taking in all his features. “oh okay good because my Spanish is horrible” he laughed nervously, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

“so good to finally meet you! y/n tells me about you everytime we call” your mom smiled at the boy, you both blushed deeply and he let out a small chuckle. “come inside! You have to meet everyone else!” Your mom moves aside, letting the two of you step into your childhood home. You took your boyfriends hand, leading him in the house, your mom quickly stopped you, letting timmy go in. “si te sacastes uno bueno” (you did get a good one) your mom winked at you and you nodded “ya se mama” (i know mom).

“Y/N!” Your older brothers shouted from the backyard, getting up from their seats and walking over to you, timothee was tense at your side. “hey guys!” You squealed meeting them halfway and giving the two of them a hug, you were the youngest. “how have you been?” You oldest brother, Alex asked. As you were about to answer their eyes landed on timothée. “actually i don’t care, is this the famous timothée? Im Alex” He asked, going over to say hi to the boy by your side, timothée went to extend his hand to shake your brothers hand but it was quickly swatted away by Alex. “nah man give me a hug!” He smiled at your boyfriend and you smiled at the two of them. Timothée hes usted for a second before hugging him back. “It’s good to finally meet you guys! Y/N always tells me stories about the two of you,” your second eldest brother Bryan went in to hug timothée next, towering over him.

“I’m assuming about how he would play with her braids?” Brayan laughed pulling away from the hug after a couple seconds. Timothée let out a breathy laugh, nodding his head. “well if you guys want we have two seats open for you guys” Alex spoke, “mainly for you tim” Bryan added, pushing you away slightly and you furrowed your brows at him, punching his arm. “I leave for like 5 months and this is how you treat me?” You joked as he shoved you once again, laughing as you stumbled a little while trying to overpower him. “well you guys have fun meeting everyone else!” Alex spoke before heading back into the backyard.

The two of you stood in the living room, you turned to timothée. “How you holding up amorcito?” You asked the boy, taking his hand in your and rubbing circles on the back of his hand with your thumb. “pretty good actually, your family is fun” he smiled at you, “i think your brothers like me” he giggled and you nodded at him, “watch by the end of the night they’ll love you more than me.”

The two of you walked into the kitchen, around the small table were two of your aunts and your mom all talking and eating.

“Hola!” You spoke up, cashing your two aunts to turn around and stand up, rushing to hug you. “Ay y/n! Tanto tiempo a pasado!” (y/n! It’s been so long!) Your first aunt spoke as she hugged you tightly, “que Bonita te miras” she spoke, moving to the side so your other aunt could hug you. “Ay mi amor que grande estás ya” (oh love you’ve grown so much) your second aunt spoke, squeezing you tightly as you hugged her back.

“este es mi novio timothée” (this is my boyfriend timothée) you spoke, introducing the beautiful boy next to you, he waved awkwardly, “hola como están?” (hi how are you guys) He spoke nervously as your aunts smiled at him. “Ay que precioso eres!” (You’re so cute!) Your first aunt smiled at the boy, giving him a small hug. “Your eyes are beautiful!” Your second aunt told him, he blushed deeply thanking her. You both stood there for a couple minutes making small talk with your two aunts before finally heading out to the backyard to find your dad.

“okay you’re gonna meet my dad next, trust me he’s super sweet, don’t be scared” you smiled at your boyfriend, you could tell he was shaking from nerves. You stopped him for a second, pulling him into a side hug, wrapping your arm around his waist. “angelito i got you, no matter what i love you okay?” You assured him, he smiled at you and planted a kiss on your cheek, “i love you ma cherie” he spoke, less nervous and ready to meet your dad.

You pulled him along, scanning the backyard to look for your dad, your eyes soon landed on him and you rushed over. “Papa!” You shouted, he whipped his head around and a smile overcame his features, he had missed his little girl so much. “baby! how have you been?” He asked, smiling as he hugged you and kissed you ontop of your head. You sighed into his chest, a smile on your face, “I’ve been good and you? anything new?” You smiled up at him, pulling away and standing next to a newly nervous timmy.

“nothing much, i see someone is new with you though” your dad stated, looking at timmy, scanning him from head to toe, he looked like a good kid, because he was, but you knew your dad was gonna give him a hard time for at least a minute to see his reaction. “Dad this is timothée, my boyfriend” you smiled, timothée immediately extended his hand out, “h-hey it’s good to meet you sir” he spoke, you could hear it in his voice how scared he was. Timmys mind was going a mile a minute, making sure he didn’t do anything to make your family hate him.

“so you’re the one that stole my girl away from me huh?” Your dad spoke, timothée had no ideas what to say. “Dad! Don’t scare him away” you pouted, scowling at your father. “I’m just messing with him! So tell me about yourself timothée” you dad smiled, sitting back down and motioning for your boyfriend to do the same, he quickly followed suit and they fell into conversation, making your dad laugh and talking about his life with him and some funny stories when he began to ramble.

You smiled softly, going to get some food for you and timothée from the kitchen. As you were playing the meat and rice you looked out the window and saw your dad and timothée laughing, you were so happy that your whole family approved, it was rare. Your last boyfriend your dad hated and your mom loved, another guy you brought home they both hated, they had never both liked anyone you had brought home until now.

Your dad glanced at the kitchen window, you were caught up in conversation with your aunts and mom about drama in the community. Your dad turned to timothée, demeanor changing to a more serious one.

“so what exactly are you intentions with y/n? You’re this famous actor with millions, yet you choose to be with a Hispanic girl who isn’t even famous” your dad spoke, skeptical of what he wanted. Timothée looked at your dad, turning to the kitchen window and he could see you covering your mouth in shock at something your mom told you. He smiled at the sight of you. “Listen sir, I love her, so much. She’s so smart and there’s never a dull moment with her, I can’t go a day without her correcting me on something and making me a better person. She always makes me smile and helps everyone around her before she even thinks about herself. I’ve never met anyone more resilient than her, she’s tough and hard headed and is great at debating things she’s passionate about, I fell in love with her because she’s so amazing and we make such a great team, she keeps me grounded and i can’t see my life without her.” Timothée spoke, he was confident in his answer, stuttering a bit here and there, a smile on his face as he talked about you and moved around a bit in the chair.

Your dad looked at him for a second, a stern look on face. Timothée thought he was about to pass out when he met your dads eyes. Your dad smiled at him, pulling him into a hug. “I’m glad you’re with y/n, you’re a great kid and you’re very talented. Welcome to the family mijo,” timothée felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, he has overjoyed that everything had gone smoothly.

“hey what did i miss?” You asked, seeing how your dad and timmy were laughing it up and any signs of nervousness were gone. “nothing much” your dad spoke and timmy smiled up at you, helping you with the plates, he got up, letting you have his seat and pushing the chair in a little before taking his own seat.

“well, here is the most authentic carne asada con arroz you will probably ever get, dig in timmy t” you smiled. He thanked you and quickly got some meat, mumbling an “oh my god” before stuffing his face full of the food. You laughed at how eager he was to finish the food, not making a noise as he ate, too busy enjoying every second of it.

“that was the best food I’ve ever had” he spoke, slightly out of breath as he wiped his mouth and drank some water. You smiled at him, still eating your food, “told you it was gonna be fine” you replied after you had swallowed the food in your mouth.

Timmy fit in perfectly after a couple of hours, he got along really well with your brothers, playing a few rounds of beer pong with them and a couple of your cousins. He was amazing with all your aunts, instantly charming them with one smile, all of them talking about him in Spanish since they knew he didn’t know it.

After the sun had set your cousin suggested that you all play Loteria, and who the hell was going o reject that? You dug up all the cards from your room and passed them out to your brothers, timmy and your cousins.

“wait! Why doesn’t timothée read them” one of your cousins suggested, laughing at the thought of him struggling. You looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders, “why not? Pass me the cards” he laughed, everyone cheering him on.

“el sol” he began, smiling since he knew that one. “El para- para guas?” He furrowed his brows as everyone giggled, turning to you he whispered, “ma cherie how do you say that?” You smiled at him, “el paraguas” you replied, he then repressed it louder, everyone clapping as he moved onto the next one. It continued like that for a couple more cards until your cousin got loteria, gloating about it until your brother beat him. Eventually you were stuck reading the cards since no one else wanted to, timothée decided to sit the round out, wanting to hear you talk Spanish as much as he could, your accent cane out when you were around your family and he was living for it.

Eventually everything wrapped up and the two of you were tired, saying goodbye to everyone. “Adios tia ay me manda mensaje para que podamos hacer ese jardin que quiere” you hugged your aunt and timothée felt his heart implode with love, he didn’t know what you were saying but he was in love with how you said it.

After saying goodbye the two of you walked out hand in hand, giggling at something’s that had happened earlier. “Oh my god and when your aunt called out your uncle i almost spat out my drink” timmy laughed, opening the car door for you. You laughed remembering how he had sputtered and nearly choked.

“Did you have a good time?” You asked him, looking at him as he put his seatbelt on. “Of course, it was amazing angel” he smiled, leaning over the console to kiss you. You leaned in and kissed him quickly, pulling away so that he could start driving. “My family loves you bebe” you smiled, looking at the curly headed boy. “I’m glad they do, because i don’t know what i would do if they didn’t” he laughed nervously. Timothée stayed parked for a while, letting the car engine heat up and choosing a Spotify playlist.

As he put the car in drive you looked at him, a smile on your face as you spoke up. “Te amo Timothée Chalamet” he turned to face you, a blush tinting his cheeks and a bashful smile on his face. “Je t’aime y/n y/l/n” he responded, kissing you one more time before pressing play on his phone and driving away from your house, the two of you laughing and singing along the whole ride back.

#timothee chalamet imagine #timothee fluff #timothee chalamet angst #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet fluff #timothee imagine #timothee blurb #timothee x you #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet x latina!reader #timothee x latina!reader #timothee fanfic #timothée fanfic #timothée x reader #timothée chalamet fluff #timothée chalamet imagine

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longitud-de-onda · 5 years ago

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piece of your heart

pairing; javier peña x female reader summary; javi takes you out dancing and drunkenly starts saying things in spanish that you can’t understand rating; t warnings; alcohol, drunkenness (and the vomiting that comes after), unrequited feelings (or not?), and angst. word count; 2.4k requested; by two anons. requests under break. a/n; combined these two requests and wrote this on a plane. there’ll be a part two 😉

“javi request where he takes the reader dancing 🥺 something similar to the dance in 3x1 of narcos thank u sm and ur the best !! 💖”

“You are at a bar after work with Steve and Javi. Javi asks you to dance with him. He is drunk & kind of grinding on you and he starts to say some things in Spanish. You don't speak Spanish very well, and assume he is saying lewd things, but when you go home, you remember some of the things he said and you put them in Google Translate and he is actually confessing really sweet things like he loves you, you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, an he is so screwed.”

“So, tonight? Wanna go out dancing with some of the others?” Javier has just walked up to your desk and sat on top of your work, staring you down.

“Dancing? No thanks,” you tell Javier.

Going out dancing with Javier Peña? That involved alcohol and lowered inhibitions and you aren’t ready to do that. You’ll admit, having him here, asking you to go dancing with him, it hurts. You can imagine in another life, one where you weren’t living in Colombia and meddling with international politics in a way even the US President would likely disapprove of, you could be brave, step up and tell Javi how you felt. But you were both in a line of work that didn’t allow for relationships, and catching feelings was the worst illness that could befall you.

And you had caught the virus.

“Come on, it’s been a hell of a week for everyone. There’s about seven of us, going over to the disco downtown, we can get plastered, forget about work, have a bit of fun?” he smiles at you, and you shake your head.

“Not tonight, Javi,” you say. “Anyway, it’s Friday, and we work tomorrow.”

You’ve said yes before. That night sucked. You watched him flirt with every woman in the bar, watched him make out with a young woman in a booth. You cried the entire drive home, and on your way up to your apartment, you passed his first-floor apartment and could hear the moans coming from inside. There was nothing crueler than wanting someone you couldn’t have, someone who would sleep with anyone, except you.

The feeling had weighed heavy on your heart for a long time now, and while it was easy to avoid the man, given that you worked in different departments, he managed to find a reason to visit you. Sneaking him classified documents. Helping him with a wiretap. Doing background checks. And every time he asked you’d comply if only to get a few extra minutes of his presence. A bit more time where that smile was directed at you and not one of the many other women in the building. A few moments where you could pretend that he cared.

“You sure? It’s not really a night without my favorite CIA agent,” he says, putting on the sly grin he uses to bend anyone’s will. The one he uses to get informants to reveal a bit more than they intended.

You want, so badly, to say no. To not force yourself to survive another night of suffering. But you’re weak and probably a masochist. And there’s the fact that he’s asking you, begging you, to come with him. To spend time with him. Even if it means you’ll end the night in tears, historically you’ve never been one to turn down time with Javier, no matter how much it hurt, and you weren’t going to stop tonight.

“Fine, but you’re buying the first round,” you agree.

“Good!” He jumps off of your desk. “It’s gonna be great. See you at eight.”

“Eight, okay...”

He leaves the room, a bit more bounce in his gait, and you smile to yourself, knowing that you were the reason for his excitement.

The day passed slowly, you had too many reports to read through and not enough coffee could keep you going. When you finished for the day, you were one of the last ones still in the office, and you headed home, looking forward to a shower and some warmed up leftovers for dinner.

You don’t have plans to drink too much. You don’t want to be hungover at work, and you had a tendency to spill secrets when wasted. With Javier around, that wasn’t something you wanted to get involved with. Still, you make sure you’ve got enough food in your stomach and drink some water so that the inevitable multitudes of shots you’ll be coerced into drinking don’t go straight to your head.

At eight, you’re waiting in the foyer of the complex, along with Steve, Connie, Marta, the current ambassador’s secretary, and Anthony, one of the other DEA agents that lived in the complex. You were going to be meeting another 5, apparently, at the disco. It was turning into quite the evening, especially considering that you had work the next day. You were told the plan was to take two cars over, so two groups could head back whenever, and if you were too drunk, it was close enough you could probably walk or just take a taxi if things went south.

Javi is obviously rushing as he bursts out of his apartment, still buttoning up his shirt. You let your eyes roam over him from the back of the group. He had put some effort into the look for the evening, a nice pair of slacks than he usually wore, and he had done something with his hair.

It makes you feel more than a bit self-conscious of how unimpressive you look before you mentally slap yourself. You’re not here to impress Javier. You don’t need to put in an effort, even if you did he still wouldn’t go for you.

“Ready?” Javier asks, and you all exit the building.

Two hours into the evening, you’re sufficiently tipsy after a couple beers. You had resisted Connie’s multiple offers of shots, but you didn’t stop her from dragging you onto the dance floor for a solid hour. You’re sweaty and a bit tired already, back at the bar where some of the guys in your group are gathered.

You watch as Javier starts knocking back shots of tequila with Anthony, something you weren’t expecting. He was always the one to slowly sip at a glass of whiskey over the night, or drink beer. He must really want to get drunk tonight.

You slip onto a barstool and order a bottle of beer. Javier is a couple feet away, and he’s already acting like he’s lost all control, and you worry about his fate in the morning. He wasn’t usually this careless with his alcohol.

He sidles up next to you, “Y/N! We should go dance.”

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, trying to pull you up off your seat.

“Javi, no,” you say. You should be jumping for joy. Happy that he actually wants to spend time with you. But you know that it’s only because he’s so incredibly drunk.

“Please, darling? I didn’t invite you out so that you could sit here.” he drawls out, his Texas accent appears in moments like this, and you wish it didn’t make you feel things.

He drags his hand down your bare arm, wrapping his fingers around your hand and pulling you up.

“Okay.” You must hate yourself.

He pulls you through the crowds into the center of the dance floor. Arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you yelp in surprise.

“¿Todo bien, compañera?” he laughs in your ear, something light and fluttery.

“Javi you know I don’t speak Spanish,” you say, bowing your head.

“You should, it would sound so beautiful coming from you,” he says and you close your eyes, reminding yourself that he’s so far gone he doesn’t know what he’s saying.

He starts to sway to the music, and his hands on your waist radiate heat straight through your dress. The whole disco is hot, but you feel even warmer wrapped up in Javier. The music thrums through your body, and you look up at his eyes, glittering with the almost-goofy smile he wears.

You want to imagine that this is real. That he’s here, hands all over you, because he wants to. You wish you could move your hands down from around his neck, or pull him in tighter, and not regret it tomorrow morning. You know you’re going to wake up tomorrow alone in bed, remembering how much could have happened if Javier cared, and that he will wake up, probably with someone else, someone who’s in this very room right now.

That thought almost makes you let go of Javier and run away, but he pulls your hips into his, rolling up against you. He lets out a moan that shoots straight to your core, and you close your eyes tight, hoping you’ll open them again for this to be just a dream.

Instead, you open them at the feeling of his breath, hot near your ear.

“Eres tan hermosa, Y/N,” he says.

You don’t know a word he’s saying but you’re pretty sure you have an idea of what he means. He’s grinding up against you, drunk and probably horny, like he is most nights, the words likely meaning something about how he’d like to take you here on the dance floor. Something disgusting and quick and meaningless.

“Me vuelves loco.”

But you’re too tipsy to get caught up on that. You want to pretend he’s saying anything but what you know he’s going on about. Want to pretend his arms aren’t slinking lower down your back until they brush over your ass. You want to believe he’s doing it because he wants to.

You decide it’s better to let go for the night. Maybe you can pretend. Just for an hour.

The music washes over you, and you move your hips along with his, and while he takes the lead, you follow, dancing as if you knew what you were doing.

“Cuando bailas así, no quiero que todos estén aquí,” he groans, “Quiero estar a solas contigo.”

If only you knew what he was saying. If you knew exactly what sort of lewd things he is saying, maybe it would be enough to knock some sense into your head and leave him on the dance floor. But you don’t.

Thank god you don’t.

It means you get to dance in his arms for a little bit more.

“No sabes, porque tu español es una mierda, pero estoy con tantas mujeres para que pueda intentar olvidarte,” he says, “Es tortura, tener alguién tan perfecta como tú, tan cerca, pero tan inalcanzable.”

When he speaks Spanish, he sounds so different. Sometimes, like now, it’s like he’s reciting a love poem. Other times, like when you hear him talking to the police, he becomes someone commanding and aggressive. Not like the Javier who spoke English to you, smiled, and sheepishly asked for favors.

“Nunca ha funcionado, no puedo olvidarte,” he says.

“Javi, you know I don’t understand you, right?” you say and he responds by thrusting his hips into you again. You bite your lip, and it only becomes more painful as you feel his bulge against your body. You’re just another body for him. And that is a sobering realization. You’re about to cry and you’re glad he’s looking over your shoulder and can’t see your face.

“Deseo poder besarte,” he whispers in your ear, “Te quiero.”

You were so stupid to fall for such a man. It’s killing you.

With one hand still on your ass, he brings the other one up, palming your breast. The moan you involuntarily release shocks you enough to push him away.

“Javier,” you say, panicking, “I can’t—“

Before you say anything more you see the twisted look on his face, somewhere between completely ravaged and utterly lost. You turn and, pushing through people, go back to the bar, where you order a shot which you quickly down before sitting down and letting the tears fall.

After fifteen minutes of looking like the saddest person in the disco, the bartender takes pity on you and gives you a glass of water and some tissues. You thank her.

The night had so quickly turned to shit. It was so much worse than previous ones. It was a torture you couldn’t handle anymore.

“Y/N!” screams a voice in your ear, someone drunk and loud.

You turn. It’s Marta.

“What?”

“It’s Javier, he’s outside puking. You’re the soberest of us you need to take him home.”

Shit. Of course this would happen.

“Fine, but take care, Marta, I don’t want you not making it home tonight.”

She thanks you and disappears into the throngs of people.

You settle your tab and Javier’s and go outside. Javier is sitting on the curb, keeled over and emptying his guts onto the stone streets.

If your heart didn’t hurt so much, you’d laugh. You hadn’t known anyone over the age of 30 drunk themselves to this point.

“Javier?” you say.

He looks up and starts to say something, but you can see the regret on his face flash upon opening his mouth as it only brings on another wave of nausea. You look away.

When he finishes, you say, “Come on, Javi, let's get you home.”

He tries to stand and you have to dive into his side to stabilize him. When you’re in a position where you can support his weight, you guide him towards his car.

You strap him into the passenger seat and reach your hand into his pocket, finding the car keys.

The ride home he stays silent. He hasn’t said a word to you since he was whispering in your ear on the dance floor. You suppose he has a fair reason to not open his mouth now though. Probably doesn’t want to soil his own vehicle.

You get him into his apartment just fine, set him up with a glass of water and make him take some pain meds.

“Don’t die on me Javi, no choking on your vomit overnight, okay?” you say and he nods.

Back in your apartment, you sit down on your couch. You should go to sleep. You need to be at work in 7 hours.

But some vicious part of your mind reminds you of the words Javier had said. You curse your curiosity and pull out your Spanish dictionary.

You only remember three phrases, “quiero estar a solas contigo,” “deseo poder besarte,” and “te quiero.”

As you look up the words, your eyes widen. Quiero: I want. Estar: To be. Solas: alone. Contigo: with you.

Shit.

Deseo: I wish. Poder: to be able to. Besarte: to kiss you.

Fuck.

The last one requires you to look it up in the phrasebook. ‘I want you’ didn’t feel right. When you find it you almost drop the book on the floor.

Te quiero: I love you.

next part

translations;

¿Todo bien, compañera?

Everything okay, partner/colleague/girlfriend?

Eres tan hermosa

You are so beautiful

Me vuelves loco.

You drive me crazy

Cuando bailas así, no quiero que todos estén aquí. Quiero estar a solas contigo.

When you dance like that, I don’t want everyone to be here. I want to be alone with you.

No sabes, porque tu español es una mierda, pero estoy con tantas mujeres para que pueda intentar olvidarte

You don’t know because your Spanish sucks, but I’m with so many women so I can try to forget you

Es tortura, tener alguién tan perfecta como tú, tan cerca, pero tan inalcanzable.

It’s torture, having someone as perfect as you, so close, yet so unreachable.

Nunca ha funcionado, no puedo olvidarte

It’s never worked, I can’t forget you

Deseo poder besarte

I wish I could kiss you

Te quiero.

I love you

taglist; @pascalisthepunkest @turquiosenights @el-lizzie

#javier peña #javier pena #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #camila writes #rated t #under 5 #reader #angst #pedro fics #narcos fics #javi x reader

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littlemessyjessi · 4 years ago

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How They’d Be As Mukbangers: Harry Potter Characters

How They'd Be As YouTube Mukbangers

James: Every video has a theme. Like, I'm not even playing. Holidays? All kinda of holiday themed food. Quidditch World Cup coming up? Things inspired by the country of his favorite team. Just a random day? Everything is blue. He's that type of way.

Sirius: If a mukbanger was a thirst trap. I could easily see him really getting into. Dark background, black gloves, aesthetic as fuck and like, he doesn't even talk. He just sits there, looks hot and somehow makes eating looking incredibly sexy. And he fucking knows it. Bitch also one hundred percent rolls his eyes back when it hits his taste buds. Licks his lips and his fingers. Takes way too big of bites. Most people would say it's cringy how sexual his videos are...but everyone is secret subscribed anyway. With notifications on.

Remus: This goes one of two ways. If he's in a good mood and things are chill, he'll find a recipe, make it to the mother fucking 't' and then have a little mukbang slash review on said recipe. Nice lil chat. Sweet tol bean. Precious. If it's near the full moon there ain't none of that. Ya boy, brings in his monstrous plate of food, sits it down and just tears into like a fucking beast, no talking. Just nom nom nom. Unintentionally thirst traps and people opening talk about when Remus goes beast mode.

Peter: Candy and sweets channel! Small mukbangs with reviews from different candies from Honeydukes!

Lily: Lol, Lilypad. She ain't playing around. Her videos are planned out, edited and just generally finessed to perfection. Even had music added to it with tiny vlog segments as it's set up. It's a little pretentious but she does have a good following.

Marlene: This bitch. Fucking competitive eating queen. Tiny ass lil ho can eat you under the table, bro. Think RainaIsCrazy on YouTube. She can fucking smash. Usually does eating challenges from different resteraunts and competitions. Often, challenges Remus on his wild days. He's a beast but she still wipes the floor with him.

Dorcas: The collab. Dorcas always has good food and good company. She's all about sharing a meal with someone and talking about random things.

Alice and Frank: The couple channel. It's generally filled with so much fucking cute and the food is always tasty. It's sickening they feed each other but you also can't help but awww.

Molly Prewett/Weasley: Family recipes. Molly's channel are tried and true recipes from the Prewett family. Cook with me and tons of kitchen life hacks. Also, that woman can turn a ham sandwhich into a full course meal. Bet. Always taste tested by Daddy Weasley. Yes, I said Daddy Weasley.

Lucius Malfoy: The most pretentious fucking channel to ever exist. It's a whole fucking production that admittedly he does put a lot of work into. Somewhat thirst trappy like Sirius' but instead of just having a plain black background he goes out of his way to shove as much of his manor into. Only eats the most expensive food fucking on the planet and of course, it's prepared by House elves cause he's a twit. (Yes, I know this is Thranduil but honestly wouldn’t put it past Lucius to be this fucking pretentious.)

Severus Snape: Actually pretty solid content. His exquisite skills in potions actually made him a rather good chef. Tasteful shots, edited well with music over everything and subtitles. Simply audio for the eat portion at the end. Nothing too fancy for the background. Often just a very clean kitchen. Solid content though.

The Black Sisters: Mass chaos. Part vlog, part drama channel, half the time the food never even gets finished because of fights.

Bill Weasley: The Traveler. A lot of egyptian food. Some made by hand. Some vlogs from street food while he's out just generally doing his job. Short videos but solid. He's hot and he picks good food. It works for him.

Charlie Weasley: This extra ass bitch. He's the bitch that does all that outdoor cooking. You know what I mean. Shots in the woods, roaring fire. Lit by a precious dragon child no doubt. Dragons lounging in the background like those bitches who always have their dogs there. Yes, I'm jealous. Close up shots of him cutting things on a custom wood cutting board. Everything he makes causes your mouth to water. God damn, scarred, freckle faced bastard just gobbles it up and ends every fucking video with a wink. Charlie Weasley is the ultimate thirst trap and he fucking knows it.

Percy: Percy's channel could be epic but instead is boring as fuck. Why? Because he insist on having the most snooze worthy meals that are 'sensible' and THEN he proceeds to talk about politics. He actually had a pretty decent following of other like minded individuals but my god- politics and porridge, Percy? Really?

However, once he chills the fuck out, leaves the ministry to do something else - it’s a game changer. Brings the family on for mukbangs. Does videos with mummy weasley. Percy grows his hair out and Bill teases him for being a copy cat. Much better. Still talks politics but it’s fucking hiliarous and now the food is poppin.

Fred and George: Alright, this shit right here. Every fucking bit of it is a self promo for the shop. Meals inspired by and that would go well paired with 'this product'. Like, that's the whole thing. And then they run an add for their shop at the end featuring the product. It works for them because they're smart, they're hot and they're also wildly entertaining with their constantly sibling squabbling. But yeah. Big promo for the shop.

Ron Weasley: Honestly, out of everyone. Ron probably has the most followers and it's because he doesn't say shit while he's eating. He sits down with a massive fucking turkey. Nods at the camera and just tears it up. It's literally so satisfying. All the food is prepared by his mother. So it's obviously fantastic. ( I just had to use this gif.)

Ginny: Gin's channel is usually team building videos with the Harpies. 'Cheat Day: Vlog and Mukbang w/the Harpies' type of vibes. It's cool though and since it's a famous quidditch team the fans enjoy the behind the scenes action and actually drop all kinds of recipes for them to try in the future.

Hermione: Hermione could easily veer off into Percy's channel of misery when she gets started on her rants but mostly they're really chill videos. Mukbang and Book Review type of vibe. Or sometimes even the playing of an audio book while she does her thing. All in all, wholesome.

Harry: Lol, I swear. Fucking awkward bean. Harry's videos are literally of him making the simplest of things and being so fucking awkward. "Er, well, hi guys. So I'm about to head out for work. Running a bit late. But we're having a bit of toast and jam." Like it's literally just little videos of him eating whatever throughout the day. But of course, since he's Harry Fucking Potter- his follower count is astronomical.

Neville: Now, this boy. This boy is a goblincore gobbo's wet dream. Gardening videos with homegrown veg. Recipes from Grandmother. Have a nice Veggie Pot Pie with Professor Longbottom in the Hogwarts Greenhouse. There is a fanbase and it is huge.

Luna: Honestly, the weirdest fucking channel in the world. Like she finds the weirdest things to eat and goes from there. But Luna is bae so it's cool. Also, a thousand percent does Smoke Sesh + Mukbang videos. You know it's true.

Dean and Seamus: Literally, eating in the most crowded pubs as they visit football games around the country. Seamus will definitely pull the Irish card from time to time to have a drinking competition. He wins everytime. He may be a little dude but shit- homie can hold his own.

Cedric: Honestly, it's so fucking pure. Straight up did videos during his time at Hogwarts in the Hogwarts kitchen. Such kind little conversations with the house elves. "Hey, guys. Thanks for coming back to another video. Today we're making some really tasty biscuits. Whispy, one of the talented bakers here in the kitchens, is here to help us today so please say hello to her in the comments." He'll also always make extra and leave them in the Hufflepuff common room for everyone to enjoy. Like, it's honestly so pure and he's such a soft boi and oh my fucking geeeeeeerrrrrrdddd!!!!!

Draco: Actually takes it really seriously and put a lot of hard work into it. Nothing like his father's ego-tistical recipes. Surprisingly, every. single. recipe. is a muggle recipe. How would he know? Because he cross referenced with Granger of course. Cooks it himself. No magic. Lots of random talks. Just like a monologue of things and it gets kinda deep sometimes. Like, it's the channel to go to when you need advice that you didn't even know that you needed. Still eats incredibly proper. It's that pureblood raising of his. Old habits die hard.

Tonks: Pure chaos. "Hey, today we're having Mum's homemade lasagna and I'm also getting a new tattoo. Might dye my hair. Don't really need to since I can do this but whatever. So yeah, there's that. Like it's just all over the place and you'd think it would take but the chaos is too good not to watch. Literally gives herself beaks and snouts while she eats. It's iconic.

Dumbledore: Mother fucker just sits at his desk, stares straight into the camera and eats a lemon drop. Like a weirdo. The video usually no more than a minute and each video is just some variation of that. Meme lord.

Hagrid: Tea With Hagrid. Also, so the recipes suck, they too, but Hagrid is a peach and it's relaxing to see his gentle half giant there in his hut, pumpkin patch out the window and Fang laying by the fire. It's a mood and he's just like the comforting Dad figure.

McGonagall: Honestly the best one in the entire world. She makes a full course traditional Scottish breakfast... and then transforms into her animagus the cat...and promptly knocks it off the table. A fucking legend.

------------------------------

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years ago

Text

timeless - 01

PAIRING: medieval!james “bucky” barnes x reader

WARNINGS: sexual content (18+)

A/N: hello! today i’m on a roll, having so much fun writing. thank you so much for the support for the first prelude, hope you enjoy the first chapter xx

NEXT CHAPTER

The noble man is not shy about their situation and as he pulls her slip up to her shoulders, draping it right under her chin as he slide his hands in the back of her thighs, pushing her knees to fold to her chest making her whimper and beg with breathless and quiet cries of pleasure. The Grand Duke had barely touched her and the touches he had given were much too soft for her to find herself already hot with her wetness spreading throughout her lower body.

Opening her mouth to speak, she tried to say something, ask something even but before she could do as such he slowly caressed her bottom lip, making her gasp against it and at his cold touch. Her tongue wrapped around his thumb slowly and eagerly as he pushed it forward and into her mouth allowing her to suck on it.

She caught a glimpse of his sly grin as he lodged himself in between her spread out legs, her warm skin rubbing sinfully against his while his hands slide up and down her legs before closing them behind his back, locking them vigorously to which she responded with a slight yelp when his large cock snaps into her. As it stretched her walls, she felt her whole body shake and shiver almost as she’d been lacking this experience for years. With his hands on either side of her body, he started rocking at a steady pace with his arms tangled around her torso, pulling and pushing her in ways that made her think only animals could mate like this. His hips snapped back and forth, in and out of her, making her scream loudly in both pain and pleasure which engulfed her entire being.

She felt her back lift from the mattress as his cold lips slide along her neck and chest, nipping and nibbling at every bit of skin they encountered and sucking until they were his to claim from sight and sight alone. The red and purple tones looked so real - they felt so real too, everything felt so real.

And when he pulled at the back of her head, with an arm firmly pressed against her back and his naked hips flushed against hers, Y/N knew, she knew fully well, that it was far beyond any dream she had.

She woke up with the sun shining in the direction of her eyes, however the sun was still rather low on the horizon. She groggily moved er legs to the side, noticing how her slip was still on. Her hand brushed the side of her neck, somewhat still feeling the ghost of the dream Grand Duke’s lips there. Curiously, she grabbed a mirror from her night stand, holding it up to her face but there were no marks, her neck was untouched. What a vivid dream.

A sudden knock on the door wakes her from her transe and she found that she’s still sweaty and, now, even warmer and wetter in between her smooth legs. She shout out she was improper at the moment, that she could not receive or see any visitors right away and that whoever who was at the door should wait until she was proper, and the knocks on the door stop. She grabbed her used dress from the ground, throwing it on before rushing over to the door, one hand on he handle and another one against the wood of the door, opening it ever so slightly.

- Oh, Eliza, are you alright? - she asked, adjusting her hat.

- The princess and the prince went out for a town visit and me and the girls were wondering if you’d like to join us for a walk in the gardens? It’s a lovely day out.

- I would love to.

- Great, we’ll wait for you outside the door then. - Y/N nodded before closing the door and walking to the still packed trunk to grab something proper for a garden walk. She settled with a lace ivory dress and a parasol, meeting up with the other ladies once she was ready to go.

From what she had gathered, they were mostly ladies of Genoa’s other noble families who had been personally summoned by the Queen to be part of court. Although all of them were nice and polished ladies, Y/N preferred Eliza’s company over the other women as she seemed to share a rather cut throat view of her situation and economic position much different from everyone else. She was also rather a fan of gossip which Y/N had to admit was entertaining.

As the women walked down the foot paths, Y/N couldn’t help but be enchanted by the beauty of the flora and fauna present in the royal gardens. The palace might’ve looked old and scary but the gardens seemed to hold a child like spirit blooming in several types of flowers, mostly lilies and daffodils with the most wondrous scent. Her eyes lingered on the flowers as their dainty heels hit the little pebbles of the pathway, stopping to smell the yellow daffodils illuminated by the cloudy skies. She closed her eyes to feel the scent hit all her senses until a different scent made her open her eyes once again. Roses. She could almost see them just from the scent alone, white roses with perfectly shaped drops of dew in a long garden. However, there were no roses in the garden, no sight of roses anywhere. As she looked up, she noticed that not a bit further was the same man who had visited her dreams just a few hours ago. It was now her turn to stare at him, watching eagerly as he stood next to the King dressed in lighter clothing, hair loose yet still using the dark leathered gloves.

The Grand Duke seemed to notice he was being watched as he turned his attention towards the lady in waiting which led her to place her parasol in front of her face, turning his back to him.

- I know. - Eliza gave her an understanding look. - He’s like the sun. You know he’ll burn you but you can’t help but look when it shines.

- What is he doing at court? - she questioned. Grand Duke was quite a high up status considering Addia had never had a King or Queen meaning the noble family ruled.

- Genoa and Addia have the oldest alliance in the world. The King brings him in whenever any of his children are engaged to foreign nobility. He seems to have a keen eye for people born for power, he knows a gold digger from an economic proposition.

- Do you really think he killed his wife? - she hid her face from his with her parasol.

- A couple screaming during a fire and only one comes out? The answer is right there.

- Why would he do that?

- Who knows. - she shrugged. - He’s not one to dally around with other women. Some people think he did it to escape a forced marriage but I personally believe he’s a sadist. If you go by his bedroom at night you can always hear screaming.

- Shame, I would personally warm his bed if he allowed me. - one of the ladies smirked, waving coquettishly at him.

- Let me know when to attend your funeral, Anne. - Eliza rolled her eyes, pulling the two girls away from the area. - I’m sure you’ll look lovely with death gracing your features.

- Don’t be worried, Eliza, he seems to be rather ... busy. - Anne opened her fan, fanning it ever so flirtingly, eyes quickly moving over to Grand Duke Barnes who was speaking with the King but at the same time keeping an eye on the lady in waiting’s back, almost unaware that everyone who passed by could see it. - Why don’t we go for tea?

- I really should wait for my princess.

- She’ll be fine, Y/N. - Eliza wrapped her arm around hers, guiding her towards one of their bedrooms where they would have tea. While most ladies decided to change into a different set of clothing, Y/N decided to go set down her umbrella instead of changing her clothings.

As she climbed down the stairs she found herself somewhere unknown. The portraits on the walls were different from the ones from last night and as she delved into the dark walls barely lit due to the harsh black out burgundy curtains covering each window, she realised she was much further away from where she wanted to be. Nevertheless she continued to walk down the halls, expecting that at some point she would reach her bedroom, exit or at least a wall. However, before she could continue with her walk into the palace upstairs, she noticed a slightly open door with dim lights coming from it. Her curiosity got the best of her and, after looking around to see if someone was near, she carefully padded towards the door.

She walked into the room, noticing the lack of decoration except for a few shelves with old dusty books. Y/N’s fingers danced on the top of the books, most being classical pieces any noble man of high education would have read, however as she kept looking, behind some books she found a few loose papers which caught her attention. She pulled them out noticing the titles “Critique of Pure Reason” and “Discourse on Inequality”.

- Do you read, milady? - she gasped out of surprise, dropping the papers on the floor as the man they had just been discussing stood a few feet away from her. - I didn’t intend to frighten you, my deepest apologies.

- These texts are banned in Genoa. - was the only thing she could manage to say before dropping to the floor to collect the papers, extending them towards him with shaky arms and hands.

- Genoa has always been very behind in scholarly matters. - he took the papers back, placing them back in its original spot, slowly passing by her side causing a waft of the same rose scent to pass by. Maybe it was just his cologne, she reasoned. - They belong to my wife, she was always one to be interested in new philosophies.

- Do you mind if I borrow them? There’s not a lot of enlightenment texts in Arendelle and my mother thinks it’s a dangerous philosophy. - she wondered if she should be asking someone believed to have ended his partner’s life for his partner’s texts but her curiosity took the best over her judgement.

- You can borrow whatever you’d like, milady. - she was about to thank him before the door hit the wall, calling for her and his attention.

- Y/N! - her mother burst through the room as if she was a child misbehaving and maybe she was as she was fraternising with someone all the people she met believed was nothing but good news. - Y/N, my darling, you were supposed to come and see your poor mother today.

- I got distracted. - she observed her shoes for a while before her eyes quickly gazed onto the Duke who had his lips tightly pressed. - Mother, this is Grand Duke James Barnes. Grand Duke, this is my mother Lady Catherine Bouvaire.

- Pleasure. - he remained stiff like a statue, hands behind his back. - I must return. Take whatever you’d like, milady. Good day.

The man left in a hurry, closing the door behind him rather harshly which made Y/N jump quite a bit before her mother placed herself in front of her sight, hands on her waist.

- You were supposed to have come visit me yesterday, Y/N. Have you already forgotten about your mother?

- No, mother. I am so sorry, I just ... I really have no excuse. - Y/N scratched the side of her wrist. - I returned to my chambers rather late.

- I hope Duke Barnes wasn’t the reason you were late. I don’t want you speaking with that man, he’s dangerous.

- Don’t you think it’s all gossip? There surely should be circumstances if he ... terminated someone’s life.

- Aw, darling ... - she pulled a fly away of hair behind her ear, hand caressing her skin from ear to chin. - You know why I worry, you’re too good but he’s a bad man, Y/N. Seeing you standing next to men like him always worries me they could hurt you.

- I’m sorry, mother.

- Why don’t you let me brush your hair, it always calms me down.

- Yes, mother.

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dbtskills · 6 years ago

Photo

Psychiatric Hospitalization 101

So you’re about to save your own life by going to the hospital- here’s what you need to know:

~disclaimer: I am not a healthcare professional nor have I worked in a hospital. I am simply someone who has been hospitalized multiple times. This is about acute, short-term psych hospitalization. My word is not law~

The Truth

First off, let me tell you the truth. The truth is that being hospitalized is one of the bravest things you can do. You have chosen (or perhaps you haven’t) to save your own life. Not to beat the physical vs mental illness comparison to death, but conceptually this is like going to the hospital with a broken leg to get a cast. You’re treating an acute wound, going to get a tune up, going to a safe place to heal. Unfortunately there is a stigma involved. It’s been decreasing recently and I think you’ll find psych hospitalization is a lot more common than you imagine. But it still exists. You can be proud of taking this step. It will be hard, but you’ve made the right choice.

When to consider hospitalization

Being suicidal is one of the most common reasons for hospitalization. Psychosis, panic attacks, and substance abuse are others. The main factor for choosing to hospitalize is whether you think you can survive the episode you’re having. If you’re even questioning it, hospitalization is probably a good idea. If you’re choosing between your life and the hospital, the hospital is always the right answer even if it doesn’t seem that way at the time.

The process

There are two ways to be hospitalized: through the ER and straight to the unit. The ER is the most common way. Occasionally your therapist or psychiatrist or other healthcare provider will be able to bypass the ER for you and get you straight into a bed on a unit. If you have this opportunity, definitely take it.

If you go the ER route, you arrive and explain why you’re there. You’ll then be taken back into a room- sometimes a private room, sometimes a communal psych room. Sometimes your phone will be taken. A guard will be stationed near you to ensure you do not hurt yourself or try to run away. You may wait for hours. You’ll see a psychiatrist who will determine whether to commit you to the psych unit or send you home. If they decide to commit you, you’ll be wheeled to the unit.

For me, the worst part of the process is the ER. You’re often helped by healthcare professionals who are judgmental of mental illness or are too busy to enact kindness. It can be a very dehumanizing experience. You may regret coming to the hospital, but you did the right thing. Saving your life is always the right thing. It’s okay to regret it for a bit as long as you follow through.

What to pack

Your belongings will be confiscated upon your arrival but if you have a chance to pack or if you have someone to bring you stuff, consider these:

A warm comfy outfit like sweats (but without a string at the waist!!!!!! take it out or they won’t let you have them!), SOCKS, pjs. Loungewear basically. The hospital provides basic toiletries, socks, and gowns/scrubs/paper pants. They can provide underwear and pads as necessary. Pack a hair brush if you’ve got tangly hair bc whatever they give you will NOT suffice.

You may want to bring your medications just in case the hospital doesn’t have them in their pharmacy but you will not have access to them, all your meds will come from the hospital itself.

Books! Some hospitals have a small library but you can bring your own if they’re deemed appropriate by the staff. They provide stuff like coloring pages, puzzles, games, etc but it can get p boring.

BRING A WRITTEN LIST OF IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS. YOUR PHONE WILL BE TAKEN.

You will have to ask to have items you arrived with brought to you from your belongings bag. Occasionally they will be reluctant, but you can self-advocate your way through it.

On the unit

If you came to the hospital in the evening you may get little sleep that first night. You have to do the intake where they ask you all the questions and you sign a bunch of forms. You must be up for breakfast the next day. That first day you won’t get to choose your own meals but you will fill out a meal card for the next day.

Most of your day will consist of shuffling between different mental health groups. Mental Health Professionals (often social work masters students) run groups on addiction, coping skills, community resources, gratitude etc etc in addition to your stereotypical group therapy. There are 3 meals a day, snacks available, and lots of downtime. There’s also activity hour where you do crafts or play games. During activity hour in my last hospitalization I painted a cackling coffin (it was October). 10/10.

You will have a roommate. My experience is that you both mind your own business while being kind and it’s generally okay.

They will take your blood pressure and vitals at least once a day. It’s annoying but necessary. They may do labs and draw your blood depending on your circumstances. If you have a physical illness as well, it may be a battle to make sure you are seen and treated for that too. All I can say is be your best advocate.

You will not have your cell phone. This will be stressful at first but hopefully nice after a bit. You can call whomever you want using the hospital phones that are on during downtime. You may have to ask the staff to dial if it’s out of the hospital area code. People can also call you if they know where you are. Do what you need to do but also don’t be the Phone Hogger bc we all want to use it too.

Visitors are allowed during certain hours. It’s not like a regular hospital visiting situation where they can just sit by your bed for hours. It’s like once a day for an hour you can get a visitor, no more than two at a time or whatever the rules are. No one can visit or call you without your permission. Visits by loved ones are so so nice and make you feel human again. I would encourage finding someone you trust who can visit you. It can make a world of difference.

"How can I get out faster?”

This is a hack question tbh. I know everything sucks but you are there to heal first and foremost. Generally they release you when the psychiatrist thinks you’re ready to go. The average stay for something like an acute suicidal episode is 3-5 days. That’s enough time in the dr’s eyes for you to stabilize and receive any medication changes. If you are on the unit voluntarily, you can technically leave at any time. I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone insist on it though. Ask your doctors when they are considering releasing you so you can plan. They may change their answer so casually check in now and then.

Go to groups and participate in them. If you're hiding in your room all day the nurses will notice and they do write that down. There may be many people on the unit, but the nurses are keeping track and taking roll. If you can, be open, honest and compliant with your treatment team. Now there’s a part of me that goes “Fuck The System!!!! Fuck being compliant! I am my own woman and my illness is Me and not something to be stigmatized or hidden. Take me to Bitch Planet, bitch!!!” This is totally valid. You just have to decide what is more important to you- being noncompliant in the face of a judgmental system or getting back to the world. As much I want to rebel, my perfectionism and people pleasing tend to kick in by the second day on the unit.

The aftermath & “what do I tell people?”

When you are being prepped for release, you must have appointments with your outpatient treatment team set up. If you don’t already, the hospital will schedule them for you. If there’s someone who can pick you up, utilize that. Otherwise they may set you up with a cab or something depending on the location. You will be given the bag containing your phone and other belongings upon release.

It is up to you to decide what to tell people about your stay on the unit. You can be honest with whomever you choose, but you don’t have to be. You can say you were out of town or had a family emergency or whatever you want. It is not your responsibility to break the stigma. If you can and want to, go for it! We will all appreciate it. But you don’t have to advocate if you don’t feel comfortable. I tell many of my friends and family the full truth and then tell others that I was “in the hospital.” If they ask questions I say I don’t want to talk about it. This works better than you might think. (It surprised me how respectful people are when you say you don’t want to talk about something.) Most people won't even ask, tbh.

It's not all garbage

It’s not all drugged up zombies and Dissociation Time: my last experience was pretty lit. We had morning “stretches” to ‘80s bops. We played Wii bowling. We discussed aliens and conspiracy theories. In a place with such a heavy stigma on it, it was a surprisingly Shame-Free environment. It was comforting to be in a place where everyone Got It. At night we would get our meds and then drift off to bed one by one as the meds hit to goodnights of “ope, the Seroquel’s kicking in.” The variety of people on the unit proves that mental illness affects everyone, from the college student to the 75-year-old retired man to the soccer mom with 3 kids. And they each have different ways of coping, different perspectives on their situation. These other perspectives can be inspiring, even helpful and you may pick up as many tips from your peers as the actual professionals. Respect your peers, don’t be that person who’s like “why am I, Normal Person, locked up with all these Crazy People?” If you’re in there, you’re all in the same boat. Crazy is a slur and no one there is crazy unless they choose to reclaim the term.

The staff can be quite kind as well. I once had a nurse go down to the gift shop to get me a tiny hair brush for my waist-length tangled hair. He didn’t have to put in that effort but he did. This past time I had an MHP sit with me after a session and develop personalized affirmations that she wrote in my journal with her gorgeous, swooping handwriting. It’s small things like these that end up mattering most in an environment that can feel harsh. There can be great kindness there, under all the rules and regulations, you just have to be open to it.

I’ve made a wide range of friends in hospitals. Ones I’d never have even encountered in real life. Even though we haven’t kept in touch, I think of them often. My roommate with terminal kidney failure who got ECT twice a week but took the time to ask how I was. A recent immigrant from Nepal who didn’t speak any English but with whom I communicated anyway. Sandy, my homeless roommate who gave me all of her toiletries instead of taking them with her. Trevor, a young heroin addict who guarded my chocolate cake when I had a phone call. Curtis, a retired professor deep in psychosis whom we taught to Wii bowl. There are so many different lives that tangle with each other on the unit. In this way I consider it a gift, to have a window into all these different worlds that are connected by this one string. I’ll never see these people again, but I’ll never forget them either. I hope they’re all still out there, getting by.

Getting hospitalized can be one of the scariest and hardest experiences but it is also one of the bravest. You saved your own life. Even if you didn’t bring yourself in, your participation saved it. It is a chance to reorient yourself to life, to recovery. It is a second, a third, a 15th chance. It’s like a terrible mini vacation. Responsibilities are lifted so you can focus on yourself. Utilize it if you can.

Again, my word is not law, it is based on my own experiences on the inside and outside of psych units. Please please reply or send asks with your own information. I know I’m not the only one on here who’s been hospitalized. We are legion. We survived. We survive.

**Note from Kat: I am trying to learn graphic design (is my passion™) but the struggle is real and it does NOT come naturally so if anyone wants to help hmu!!!!! Can’t pay obvi but can link!**

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kangals · 5 years ago

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probably a shit platform for this but hey, vet PSAs that i’m writing bc if i have to kiss ass to one more pissy client i’m going to implode:

-virtually every vet ER in the US is understaffed right now. there has been a shortage of ER vets in the workforce for years and it’s only getting worse. so many reasons - massive schooling expense/debt, high turnover, physically and emotionally draining job, etc. even the large chains like VCA are having to completely shut down ERs in some locations because they just can’t keep it staffed. ppl just don’t want to go into emergency med when primary and specialty care is an option and honestly i don’t blame them.

-support staff - techs, assistants, front desk - are terribly underpaid, basically industry-wide. this isn’t a super profitable business anyway but if you’re not a doctor, you’re shouldering most of that burden. and then they have the same problem of staff shortages, high turnover, high stress, etc.

-COVID protocols are likely going to stick around at least through the fall - thats assuming we don’t get a second wave then (aka super unlikely). that means curbside visits, aka get used to your pet going in to the hospital by themselves while you wait outside. (obvs the exception to this is euthanasias)

-sidenote: your pet does not need you to accompany them. for everyone that whines and cries about how their pet gets nervous without them, they’ll be scared, 9/10 times the pet is significantly better behaved and more calm/relaxed without the owner present. the building is much calmer and quieter without foot traffic and it reflects in the pets. either your pet has a problem bad enough it needs to be seen now without you, or it doesn’t and you want to wait until you can go in - thats it. pick one.

-summer is the busy season for ER vets. that’s just how it is. more dogs outside getting injured and hit by cars, more cats roaming and eating poison and fighting each other, more parasites, more traffic, more heat stroke, more poisonous plants, more puppies/kittens, more pools, more wild animals, etc. summer is always crazy even without the added spice of a pandemic.

-yes you will almost certainly have a long wait time if you go to a vet ER now. yes its annoying. no calling every 10 minutes to ask if you can be seen is not helping. heres a tip: if you bring your pet to the ER and everyone drops everything to get them seen ASAP? thats a VERY BAD thing. be grateful your pet is stable enough to wait with you instead of being rushed in in critical shape.

-yes everything is still the same price. no you do not get a “discount” because we have safety protocols to keep you and our staff from getting sick, why the fuck would you even ask that.

-sidenote: yes the ER is expensive. no vets do not purposefully try and inflate your bill with “unnecessary” tests, just fucking tell them you have a budget. no vets/hospitals do not “get rich off your pets.” if you want to get rich there’s about a million other jobs they’d be more qualified to do that do not involving intense emotional labor and make way more money. if you do not trust that your vet has your pet’s best interests in mind then FIND ANOTHER VET.

-yes phone hold times are long. most hospitals are dealing with 200%+call volume bc they’re doing almost everything with the clients outside the clinic, everyone and their grandmother has got a new puppy they want seen, and no one has the patience to wait on hold more than 10 minutes so they just keep hanging up and re-calling repeatedly and putting themselves in the back of the phone queue and getting mad it’s not working. thats like the phone equivalent of slamming a call elevator button over and over, it does nothing, stop.

-sidenote: if you call an ER for a update and they tell you no news is good news and the drs are busy but we’ll call you at X time, wait until X time. you do not need hourly updates on your dog that has been sleeping all day! the drs have more important shit to do. again if you don’t trust your vet then find a new one.

-yes everything pretty much sucks right now. no ones happy. the vets aren’t, the staff isn’t, admin isn’t, clients aren’t. we want thing to go back to normal, but they can’t right now, and thats just the way things are. you’re not getting special terrible treatment, you’re just getting what the world is serving and you’re going to have to deal with it like everyone else right now.

-yes having a sick pet sucks. its the worst! vets and vet staff are all animal lovers and pet owners too. we also go apeshit when our pets are sick bc its awful and you feel helpless and frustrated. we get it. but if you take out your anger on your vet/vet staff you are a genuinely bad person. do you even know how nasty clients are getting to our staff? they scream and curse and throw tantrums. they yell racial slurs at PoC staff. they threaten to burn the clinic (and animals) all down. they threaten to kick down the doors and strangle/punch/beat staff. they call the cops. they make us call the cops on them. they emotionally abuse and gaslight and say terrible hurtful things and make ppl who are trying their damnedest to help your pets break down in tears. you wonder why vets and vet staff have such a high suicide rate??

-sidenote: if you’ve been to the vet recently and your experience didn’t totally suck (not counting long wait times or safety protocols bc as mentioned thats just how it be right now) pls just write them a thank you card or something. tell them you appreciate that they’re there for you and your pet and thank them for their hard work and help. name names if you remember them. everyone’s morale is super low right now and notes from clients are genuinely treasured and loved. (normally i’d say send food but, again, safety protocols).

anyway i need to go back to blowing smoke up these peoples asses. if you disagree or want to argue any of these points i literally do not give a shit about you or your opinions. be nice to your vets everything sucks right now they’re just trying to help.

#but MY hospital isnt having these problems great shut up i do not care #long post

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greyfongschemmenti · 4 years ago

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In These Arms | Chapter 7: The Metal Clan

Summary:

“Wait, Opal is an airbender?” you walk past the group towards Su who turns to look at you and smiles “Yes” Su responds smiling and happy by your enthusiasm. “That’s amazing!” you smile widely at Su but glance over at Lin who looks sour by the exchange between you and Su. “At least someone is happy for my daughter” Su quips at Lin and you catch her balling her fists ready to pounce on her sister.

Notes:

OMG We're at Zaofu! I'm beyond nervous and I hope I make these following chapters worth the wait for you guys. This was close to a 9k chapter, so it's like 3x the length as the previous ones. lol

Hopefully it's good for you peeps. These Zaofu ones will be the longest chapters in this part.

“Alright Naga let’s see if you can find it this time” you smirk as you wrap your cable around the ball, grunting as you throw it far across the open field. You look down and watch Pabu play with a small metal ball you bent for him while he is laying on his back. You’d offered to keep Naga and Pabu entertained while Korra had a work out and mediation session with the crew while Lin supervised. Korra and Lin join you as you pet Naga’s fur before throwing the ball again.

“Thanks again for watching Naga for me” Korra comes up next to you “Yeah no problem” Naga runs back with the ball in her mouth and gets excited when she sees Korra. Korra pets her and takes over as Pabu bounds over and climbs up onto your shoulder. You chuckle, scratching just below his ear while Lin looks at you with a faint air of disgust, causing you to laugh more “What… don’t like animals?” she grumbles a bit “Not as pets” she says folding her arms.

“Aw ease up Lin, the relationship between animal and human is one of life’s greatest experiences. There’s no bond more loyal than the companionship between animal and human”

Lin groans “You sound like Kya - a hippy ” you laugh “Kya is smart then”.

Lin turns to Korra “While you're playing fetch, four of the most dangerous criminals in the world are hunting you down. We should get moving.”

“Relax, we just got here. Besides, no one knows where I am right now except us.”

Naga returns and sets the ball down in front of Lin and you raise your brow, curious what Lin will do. “I think she wants you to throw it for her “, Korra sounds amused as she laughs. Lin looks down at the ball and sees it is covered with drool and grass. “I'll pass, thanks.” She grumbles “You don’t have to touch it. Give it a nice kick, Chief” you smile then notice movement coming from behind you and turn to see Asami running down from the airship “We just got a call on the radio about another airbender!”

“Finally! Where are they?” Korra lets out a happy sigh and walks over to her team

“A city called Zaofu..” Lin is visibly uncomfortable as she slightly sucks in a breath “…the home of The Metal Clan.”

“You know the place?” Korra turns to Lin “Er, never been” and crosses her arms uneasily at the attention on her - then Bolin butts in “y/n has!” causing everyone to look at you. Pabu jumps off your shoulder and onto Bolin as you take a step back, your cheeks redden from the unwanted attention “Woah…okay, yeah I’ve been. Lived there for a couple years”.

“What’s it like?!” Korra asks intrigued and you look over at Lin who looks even more uncomfortable “The city is actually quite beautiful, but--.” Lin interrupts you “I don't want you going there. I'd rest a lot easier if you were back safe in Republic City.”

“Sorry, but if there's an airbender in Zaofu, then that's where we're going next. y/n, can you fly us there?” Korra replies as you give her a nod “sure”, turning to gather her team and getting on the ship. You slowly follow, but turn around and watch Lin as she glares off to the side. Naga bends down and nudges the ball to Lin with her nose. Lin regards the polar-bear dog for a moment before bending out her cable, slapping it against the ball to deflate it. “Babe..” you lower your shoulders with a look of disappointment. Lin gives you a look, looks away and stomps back into the ship. Naga looks down at the deflated ball and lays down, pawing at it, attempting to roll it around. She makes a sad whining noise and her tail sags. You frown and walk toward the polar-bear dog “I’m sorry about that, Naga. I’m sure she didn’t mean it” you pet her head and console her “She likes you and Pabu, she just doesn’t want to appear soft in front of the kids.” you give Naga a smile but she curls up and you frown some more “Come let’s get back on the airship, I have some treats….” You try to cheer her up and her tail starts to wag causing you to smile “Come on” you wave her over and she walks beside you heading inside the airship. You dig around in your bag and take out some jerky to give Naga a piece“There you go, girl. Hope that helps”.

“Hey where’s Naga’s ball?” Korra asks and you glance at Lin who doesn’t say anything, turning to look back at Korra you say “I don’t know…. wind probably blew it away. We can replace it once we get to Zaofu”. You move away and glance pointedly at Lin before you go to the controls and set up course toward Zaofu.

Once the travel is set you take a seat on a bench across from Lin. “Care to tell us about the city, y/n?” Korra asks you again about the city and you see Lin glaring at the ground, you slowly turn your head to Korra thinking of what to say. “Uh.. like I said it’s a really beautiful city, very peaceful. One of the safest cities in the world, so not much excitement” you force a laugh and compose yourself “Maybe it’s best if I don’t say anything more. I would much rather watch your reactions.” You stand up and walk up to the dashboard, looking out at the landscape before you. You point up at a mountain side getting the attention of the crew while they are sitting or leaning against the walls of the observation area. “Once we go over this mountain side Zaofu should come into view if you want to walk over here and watch.” You wave the group toward the windows. They walk over while Lin stays behind. As the ship nears the valley you turn to watch the look on their faces. “Wow, it’s so reflective” Asami says, covering her eyes ``That's because the entire city is encapsulated with metal. It’s a safety feature. It opens during the day and closes at night, sort of like a flower” you comment and watch as Bolin excitedly presses up to the glass “Wow, wow, WOW! An entire city made of metal! Oh hoho! Why'd you leave?! You should be right at home, you too Beifong.” He turns to Lin before looking back out the window.

“Hmm...” Lin turns away from the window as Korra and you look after her sadly. You walk over to the control panel and steer toward the landing pad. You watch as a metalbender sends a cable out and loops it around a hook under the airship. Two more metalbenders form stairs connecting to the airship. Once docked, Bolin runs out and the rest of the team follows after him with Lin still seated. Bolin yells out excitingly “Yeah!” as Asami stops and turns to Lin ``Aren't you coming?”

Lin scoffs “What’s there to see? It’s metal, big whoop. Just find the airbender and let’s get moving.” She makes eye contact and points at the team “And don't tell anyone I’m here”.

“Why not?” Korra turns her toward her, confused “I don't need to explain myself to you, just do what I say.”

Korra rolls her eyes and walks away “Fine. You got it, Chief Crankypants. You coming, y/n?” she looks over at you and you look back at Lin “Nah, I’ve experienced the city. You guys go on ahead. I’ll make sure the animals are safe from Grumpypants here.” you smile as Korra shrugs and hurries to catch up with the rest of the team. You look over at Lin and walk across to sit beside her, “Nice day to be sulking on a bench” you try to ease the tension. “You don’t need to keep me company. You can go with them” she huffs folding her arms and looking down. “Alright” you shrug, standing up and walking towards the window “But answer me this…why’d you tell Korra you’ve never been to Zaofu…” you slide your hands in your pockets as you look out at the city.

“Cause I’ve never been” she states flatly. Your eyes widen, turning around pulling your hands out “What?! You’re telling me that after all these years that you’ve never visited?” you say in disbelief

“Yeah”

“Wow” you look down and pretend to kick something on the floor as you slide your hands in your back pockets “But you’ve met your family right. Your nieces and nephews?” you look up at her -

“Nope” she keeps her responses short and you let out a low whistle as you walk back towards her and sit back down “I mean….I guess that makes sense. I would’ve noticed if Su’s hot older sister were in the city” you tease but Lin doesn’t look amused and you purse your lips before sighing leaning against the wall “Well…they all have such different personalities. Besides the twins, they’re identical. Very competitive and love the fact that they always have someone to spar with.”

Lin stays quiet, sulking on her bench “Want to tell me what’s bothering you?” not looking at her “No”

“Is it Su?”

No response.

“Okay I get it. Not so loud, Lin” you cover your ears as you fake a wince.

“I didn’t even say anything” Lin peers over at you as you put your hands down -

“Silence speaks louder than words, Lin…. And your silence is speaking volumes.” Lin rolls her eyes and slaps your hands down as you chuckle a bit, but she folds her arms and faces away from you.

“Come on baby, I’m only trying to lighten the mood” you whisper leaning towards her and she stands up “Don’t”.

You sigh - taking the hint and getting serious about the situation, “I don’t know what happened between you two. Maybe you can open up to me a bit or talk to Su and fix this estrangement?.” You lean forward as you pet Naga’s fur as Pabu crawls onto your lap.

“Ha fix, yeah right. There’s nothing to talk about.” Lin laughs in disbelief.

You sigh defeatedly “Okay, Lin.” Standing up, you pet the animals before walking to the dashboard on the upper deck before hollering out “It really is a beautiful view of the city if you want to come up here and take a better look!” There isn’t any response or movement.

“Wow - wish I could sketch the look of the metal reflecting the sun surrounded by the green of the valley and the sparking stream of the water...”

A few moments pass and you hear the clatter of boots and feel a presence next to you. You smile as you look at Lin in the corner of your eye “I’ll give you a minute to take in the view” you whisper and step away. Lin grabs your wrist and turns you around “You’re not upset, right?” Lin softens up a bit and you look at her confused but move your wrist away and instead take her hand and kiss the back of it. “No, it would help if you open up so I know how to help you , but like I said this is between you and Su. Whenever you’re ready to tell me. I’ll be here, open to listen.” You give her a soft smile lifting her hand to give her knuckles a kiss then one on her lips “I’ll give you your space” you step away and head downstairs.

After checking the supplies Naga starts growling at the door, followed by knocking and you get up to open it “Aiwei?!” you look at the truth seer “y/n, nice of you to return to Zaofu” you give him a stiff nod before peering over his shoulder and see the teens rubbing their necks causing you to chuckle “I should’ve known. I guess you guys couldn’t lie very well” you sigh, a slight smirk appearing on your lips - then notice Su

“Su!” you smile as you hug the younger Beifong sister.

“y/n! so glad to see you again sweetie.” She hugs you back and you wince a little “Glad to see you too, but remember about the whole ‘sweetie’ thing”.

“Oh crap that’s right. Sorry, honey.” she smiles sympathetically as she pulls back from the hug and gives your hand a comforting squeeze.

“Wait, you two know each other too?” Korra looks at the both of you getting a look from Su “You didn’t tell them?”

“Never had the chance, but I did tell them I lived in Zaofu” you defend yourself as you look at Su before turning your attention to Korra “I lived with Su and her family for 5 years, but I’ve been in Zaofu for a total of 7 before moving to Republic City,“ you explained to Korra and the rest of the team. Su rolled her eyes and folded her arms “And you were adamant about moving out…and right after your birthday.” She pointed her finger at you frowning and you smiled sheepishly “It seemed like the best time for a new adventure.” Su shakes her head and remembers why they’re here “Well I would love to catch up, but first can you please tell me where my beloved sister Lin is hiding?” you stand back as you glance up. Shit no time to warn her .

“Oh right, your sister…she’s on the upper deck” you point up and let the group in as Korra leads the pack upstairs.

“I found out why you were so against coming here. Why didn't you ever tell me you had a sister?” Korra folds her arms as she stands across from Lin.

Lin turns around in alarm and notices the audience “Half-sister.”

“Same Mom, different Dads. So what?” Su steps forward and puts her hand over her heart “We're blood Lin, and after thirty years, the least you could do is say hello.”

Lin who turns away from Su “I have nothing to say to you.” She gets angry with the conversation while the rest of the party looks sad while Korra is a little annoyed. “You two haven't spoken in thirty years?? How come?” she looks at the two Beifong sisters.

Su gestures a palm out to Lin “Ask her” then she points back to herself “I've tried.”

“Oh, don't put that on me.” Lin points a finger to Su and her sister places her arms akimbo “You're the one who tore our family apart.” Su replies coolly with a smile “And you've done a bang up job of keeping it that way.”

“You haven't changed one bit, have you?” Lin snapped at her younger sister.

“Look, we can stand here arguing about the past all day but that's not the reason the Avatar came here. My daughter is thrilled to meet you.”

Korra smiles and turns towards the Chief “Lin, your niece is the new airbender! Isn't that amazing?”

“Yeah. Terrific.” Lin deadpans

“Wait, Opal is an airbender?” you walk past the group towards Su who turns to look at you and smiles “Yes” Su responds smiling and happy by your enthusiasm.

“That’s amazing!” you smile widely at Su but glance over at Lin who looks sour by the exchange between you and Su.

“At least someone is happy for my daughter” Su quips at Lin and you catch her balling her fists ready to pounce on her sister. Your smile fades quickly and to prevent a fight you put an arm around Su’s shoulder and escort her out the deck away from Lin “Su! uh...how about we go introduce Team Avatar to Opal and the rest of the Beifong clan. How are the twins…” you force a smile

“Oh they’re terrific - they will be so happy that you’re here, y/n!” Su smiles as you wave the group over and lead the way out of the airship. Lin rolls her eyes and takes a breath before slowly following with her arms crossed.

Walking across the courtyard grounds, Su is directing the tour when she guides you towards an arena where two boys bend a metal disc around three pillars in the middle of the court.

“Those are my two youngest, Wei and Wing. They're playing a game called Power Disc, they invented it all on their own.” Su points out her sons while you look at how much the game has developed “I remember when they were little they had a little metal ball they would just pass along to one another. This looks like an actual arena. They’ve come a long way, before I left they only had schematics of how they wanted to build it”.

“Hey Wing!” you call out waving your hand in the air at him causing him to look over at you “y/n?!” he yells out as he kicks the disc away. His brother Wei manages to deflect it with a kick of his own and the disk flies straight in. Wing tries to refocus on the game and attempts to catch the disc, but is too late. The red buzzer above the goal post rings and flashes red. Wing falls on his knees then lays on the ground as he pounds his hands against the dirt in defeat. You wince feeling bad you distracted him.

“Oh nice power, Wei.” Su exclaims her son “Sorry Wing” you grimace as you put your hand down and hide it behind your head.

Wei cheers for himself “Ha! Wing goes down!”

“I'm so proud of those two.” Su says beaming as she leads the group away for the next part of the tour. You wave at the other twin “Hey Wei!” you smile at him before rejoining the group and catch up, falling in step beside Lin “The most competitive of the bunch” you whisper to her before stopping to meet the second born “Huan, I want you to meet the Avatar and her friends, and your Aunt Lin. y/n is also here visiting.” Su talks to her son as Korra steps forward “Nice to meet you.”

Huan doesn’t turn back to greet them properly “Hey” he looks at his sculpture in deep concentration “Wow, that's a really nice... banana? Yes, very- very life-like.” Bolin comments on his pieces. Huan sighs “It's not a banana!” he speaks out irritated as he turns to Bolin “I was inspired by Harmonic Convergence. It represents the dawning of a new age. Obviously.”

You lean over at Lin and whisper in her ear “Huan, the artist of the family, I’m myself a designer but Huan lands on the ah - abstract side of the spectrum.” You glance over at Lin then back at Huan “I think you two would get along” you smile as Lin looks at you and rolls her eyes, scoffing “Yeah right” Lin walks away, and you follow along behind her. The group makes their way down a path where you notice a young teenager dressed in a green dress reading a book on a bench “And this is my daughter, Opal” Su introduces her daughter to the group as you whisper to Lin -

“Opal, the only daughter and now an airbender, she’s friendly and easygoing, a sweet girl but she definitely has that Beifong spirit.” a slight wince at the word of sweet but nevertheless you smirk,

“What’s that supposed to mean” Lin cocks an eyebrow at you.

“She’s a lovely girl. Nice and caring but she can be feisty. She doesn’t hold back and can catch a quick attitude. Tough, stands her ground. Most likely has to do with having four brothers.” You fold your arms as you smirk.

“Four?! They’re five of them?” she gapes but she quickly composes herself.

“Mhmm” you nod as you smile watching Opal interact with Korra and the gang, then look over at Bolin curious of his intentions as he obviously flirts with Opal. Lin sighs and pushes past the group “Great, we found the airbender. Let's take her back to the airship and get out of here.”

“And the woman apparently trying to abduct you is your Aunt Lin.”

Opal’s eyes widened excitedly to meet her Aunt “Really? I've always wanted to meet you! My Mom has told me so many stories about you.” Lin replies coldly “I'm sure she has.” Opal looks confused by her aunt’s behavior. Approaching Opal you smile warmly and wave, “Remember me?”. Opal’s eyes widen even more as she recognizes you “y/n!” she runs up and hugs you. You smile big as you hug her back, picking her up a bit in the process.

“I’ve missed you so much! It’s not the same since you left. Kuvira is still here but she’s not as fun.”

You set her down and pull back “Well I’m here now. Heard the news, I’m so glad you’re the airbender we’ve come to see!” you smile as you give her a side hug while Su directs to the crowd.

“So I've set all of you up in the guest houses while Korra trains Opal.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. But I was hoping she could train with the rest of the airbenders at the Northern Temple.” Korra looks confused on how Su thought the visit was going to go.

Opal looks happy to hear the idea from Korra “That sounds amazing!”

“Nonsense. This is where Opal's home and family are, you can train her here.”

“I guess I could help her get started.” Korra nervously says as she rubs the back of her neck,

“Absolutely not! We're leaving.” Lin steps forward.

“She's just a little worried because there are a bunch of crazy criminals after me.” Korra makes a crazy face using her finger while explaining the situation to Su and Opal.

“If you're concerned about security, don't be. As y/n can attest. This is the safest city in the world. I will see you all at dinner and come hungry, my chef will blow the taste buds right out of your mouth.” Lin rolls her eyes as you nod agreeing with Su with a chef’s kiss before looking at Lin confused.

Korra smiles at Lin “Why do you have such a problem with your sister? She seems nice. Come on, we can stay a little while.” Lin looks to the side and growls as she folds her arms, you cock your eyebrows hearing her growl and cover your face, before walking towards her. Making sure everyone is out of hearing distance “As much as I love it when you growl. Your problem is with Su not her kids. Give them a chance. Zaofu really is safe, plus it will be good for you to relax a bit” you softly put a hand on her arm. Once the group has left to settle into their rooms you take her hand and tug her along towards the gardens, “Where are you taking me?” Lin whispers - she looks around as you pull her into the maze “For some peace and quiet. Something you might need before dinner”.

“Someone will see” she says in a hushed tone -

“Everyone is out doing their activities. No one comes here. Besides everyone is settling into the guest houses getting ready for dinner.” You guide Lin along the maze until you reach the middle where there’s a fountain and a metal bench. “How can you be so sure about that?” Lin looks at you skeptically “Because I used to come here to meditate or get away from everyone for a bit when I lived here. I love your family, but sometimes it’s all a bit much” you sit down on the grassy area and lean against the wall of the maze. “Come on, sit down” you say motioning to the grass. Lin looks at the bench and points at it - “I’d rather feel the earth it’s more calming than a cold metal bench” you motion Lin over, she sighs and grudgingly walks over to sit beside you. “Is sitting next to me so bad?” you tease her, and Lin looks down “No, it’s not you. it’s just… nothing” she looks away.

You pull your knees up and rest your elbows on them “Nothing? Hmmm, I could have sworn it was something. Maybe someone or somewhere?” you deadpan and notice Lin getting quiet again.

“Honey, you know I won’t push you until you’re ready…”

“But?” Lin interrupts

“But… I am getting worried about you.”

“Worried about me? There’s nothing wrong”.

You rub the inner corners of your eyes then down the bridge of your nose as you exhale deeply “Okay, babe. I’m just coming from a place of concern. I know firsthand what happens when you refuse to voice the problem and bottle it up instead. Those emotions go from emotional turmoil to physical pain and it hurts even more when mixed with stress. And you’ve been stressing since we left Republic City” You rest your arms on your knees and turn to Lin as she looks away toward the fountain not saying anything. “You don’t have to respond, but you can at least give me a nod if you’re listening?” you reach for her hand and hold it looking at her as she gives you a nod. You scoot up to start getting up when Lin pulls you back and presses her lips onto yours. Surprised by the sudden action you quickly relax and kiss her back slowly as you cup her scarred cheek when she pulls back, “What was that?” you whisper as you softly rub her arm

“I don’t think I can handle dinner”

“You’ll be fine, Lin. It’s food, what's the worst that can happen? The food comes to life?” your eyes widen as you put on a face of shock “Lin, careful the Koi is coming to get you!” you get on top of her and she has to lay down on the grass as you protect her from the imaginary fish. “Stop! Someone might hear!” she hushes you covering your mouth and you laugh quietly as you settle back down. A silence comes between you as you both stare at each other for a moment.

“You’ll save me from Su at dinner?” she whispers as you look at her confused your body softening at her worries. You give her a nod, tapping her hand covering your mouth to let you talk. She removes it, “Yes, I’ll rescue you from anyone, including your sister”.

“Half sister” she corrects you “Full, half, step, adopted, whatever the relation. I’ll save you from her” a smile appears on both your lips. Looking into her light green eyes, you’re unsure who leaned in first - sharing a kiss or two before helping each other stand to go freshen up for dinner.

“Tonight, for your dining pleasure, I present a seared wild Kyoshi-Elephant koi paired with a ginger infused pea tendril, and hibiscus root salad.“ Chef explains the three dishes in front of everyone. “Stunning” Su remarks and smiles at Chef as he bows and walks away.

“Sorry dear, I'm going to have to take dinner..” a younger man, Bataar Jr, who looks just like his father runs up with a stack of papers and pauses in front of the door “...in my office. I just had a major breakthrough on the tram station remodel.” Bataar Sr says as he stops by the door waving at his family.

“Well don't let me stand in the way of inspiration. “Su smiles at her husband fondly

“You're the best!” he calls out before rushing away with Bataar Jr in tow. You notice Su turn to Korra and explain who the two men were. Turning your attention to the twins “If there is something I missed from Zaofu besides you guys it’s the food.” You smell the seared wild Kyoshi-Elephant koi and smile at the twins seated beside you. “Yeah, never a bad meal around here. Isn’t that right Wei” Wing nudges his brother causing Wei to nudge him back laughing as they take a sip of their Lychee juice.

“Aw man y/n you have to play Power Disc with us soon” Wei looks at you excitedly and Wing jumps in “Tomorrow?” as he slips some of the fish in his mouth. “Uh yeah, sounds good guys. but wouldn’t we need a fourth player?” you smile and take a sip of your drink. “It’s a two person game so.. we’ll take turns” the twins answer in unison then give each other a look and nudge the other, “Well maybe we can add more players soon” you smile. The conversation gets interrupted by Lin raising her voice with forced enthusiasm “Hey everyone, my little sister is an expert on World Affairs now.”

Su turns to Lin and glares at her older sister “You want to talk about what's really bugging you because I'm right here!” As she has a hand on her waist.

Suddenly the door bursts open and the last person you expect comes marching in - your face full of shock “Varrick?!”

Bolin gasps with excitement like a fanatic “Varrick!”

“Well at least someone is excited to see him” you mutter into your metallic glass and slouch back in your chair then it finally clicks in your head, “Wait, what is Varrick doing here?” you lean forward in your chair directing your question to Su.

“Varrick's heading up my new technology division.” Su answers without any hesitation, calm and nonchalant that she just let in a former Republic City prisoner.

“I've seen the future and the future is-” Varrick brings out a classic U-shaped magnet, “Magnets! I'm working on a high speed rail that would revolutionize transportation and shipping as we know it! But that's not all, I'm- “ In the corner of your eye you notice Lin getting more and more agitated as she balls her fists on the table, cheeks getting slightly red. She looks like she’s about to blow.

“Alright, enough!” she yells and she slams her fists down onto the table, pushing her chair back and standing up - visibly irritated by how Su is okay with Varrick being at the same table with everyone “I'm trying to keep the Avatar safe and you're harboring a criminal?” Lin swipes her hand to the side at Varrick. Everyone quiets down, stopping their side conversations and watching the two Beifong sisters speak. “Ease up, Lin. Sure Varrick's made a few mistakes in his past but that doesn't mean he should pay for it the rest of his life. My chef was a pirate but now he's a culinary master. People change.” Su speaks to Lin calmly and tries to reason with her older sister but Lin points an accusing finger at Su, “You haven't!” she turns away and storms off. Leaving, she roughly shoves her chair, sending it flying backwards. You stand up from your chair as you watch Lin walk towards the door “Lin?” your voice concerned, and you notice Lin’s ear twitch, but then Korra yells after her “Lin!” causing her to continue walking out the door. She lifts her arm and a cable shoots out from her armor which she aims back to slam the door closed. You look down before mustering a fake smile and turn to the crowd “Maybe just give her some time to cool off? No point in letting this amazing food that Chef made go to waste.” You raise your glass and give a cheer while Varrick joins in “Couldn’t have said it better myself,” he smiles charmingly and you put the glass to your mouth and take a drink, sitting back down with a bit of a frown.

“Is Aunt Lin always like that?” Wing leans over at you

“Making an exciting exit? Oh yeah, always. You should see her entrances, memorizing. ” you quip as you stuff some fish in your mouth, trying to eat.

After dinner you take a walk out by the courtyard and sit down near the rock Opal was on earlier as you watch the sunset while bending the small piece of meteorite you have to relax. You hear footsteps approaching, but you don’t turn around.

“So…Lin never spoke to you about me?” Su speaks as she leans against a column and you sigh deeply, “Now that I think about it…no and she also never asked either, but she’s the chief of police. I’m sure she keeps tabs on you.”

“Knowing Lin I’m not too sure” Su pushes off the column and takes a seat beside you. You let a moment of silence settle between the two of you, feeling the light breeze brush across your face.

“What happened between the two of you? I know you told me a few things about how your mom gave you two all the freedom you want and your fight for her attention. Little bits about Lin and I’ve seen some of what you’ve warned me about…. but Lin isn’t all the bad things you made her out to be.” You look down, bending and twisting the soft metal forming different shapes.

“What do you mean?” Su glances over at you intrigued by your last comment.

“Well… since working with her on the force, Yeah okay she’s intimidating and abrasive at first, but that’s because she doesn’t have time for small talk. Plus, she’s passionate about her job. She’s committed, responsible, selfless…”

Su interrupts you - a laugh escaping “Lin? Selfless? Please she’s the most selfish person I know”

You glare at Su and bite your tongue to try not to get mad, but it doesn’t work. You stand up taking a step away from Su before facing her again “She’s put herself in danger and gotten herself hurt countless times to save and protect Korra and her officers. She’d do it again without a second thought. She doesn’t wait for someone else to do it, she takes initiative. She’s assertive.”

“That’s selfish. She’s only thinking of herself. She has no one” Su quips

You scoff in disbelief “Really Su, that’s your sister and she isn’t alone”

“You know what I mean. Of course Lin has her family, but who does she have in Republic City looking out for her?” Su shrugs as she stands up

“I don’t know. Tenzin for one. Kya, Bumi. Korra and her friends, me.” you count on your fingers before throwing your hands up in the air and stepping toward Su “You and I both know that sometimes family isn’t all about blood. Sometimes you go searching for it and find it through friendships. Like you with the circus, and me with your family”

“That’s not the same thing…. I found and created my family. All I want is to reconnect with Lin. Have my sister back in my life and for her to build a relationship with the kids” Su steps towards you “You must understand that don’t you?” her face softening while you run your hand to the back of your neck before looking at Su -

“I understand that Su, I do. It sounds like you two missed 30 years, are going to let another 30 years pass by?”

Su rolls her eyes and folds her arms “That’s Lin’s fault. I’ve tried reaching out and talking to her. My mother and I reconciled, and we invited Lin, but she refused.”

“Yeah she’s stubborn and prideful, I know. I work with her.” You turn away

“If I didn’t know any better I’ll say you have a soft spot for Lin, y/n.” She turns to you and looks at you amused.

“Working together on the force does that, Su. We’ve sort of became good…friends in the year or so I’ve moved”

Su eyes you suspiciously “Lin has friends?”

“That's why I said sort of” you laugh “But Su…maybe this is the year you two can make up?”

“Hopefully” Su lets her arms down and sighs.

You give her a light nod and dust yourself off, smiling as you start to excuse yourself.

“I didn’t know that little word of endearment still affected you” Su softly speaks as you stop, your mind racing back to her and ‘Sweetie’ before you wake up from your thoughts and speak. “I didn’t know until I heard it…it’s not a word I use anymore” you trailed off looking down, kicking a pebble out of the way “..is she still on the guard?”

“Yes, she asks about you. Probably hoping for a reconciliation?” Su looks at you and a scoff escapes your lips “After what she’s done absolutely not. That relationship is done. I’ve moved on. You can tell her that the next time she asks or I can if I bump into her.” you roll your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I get it. She broke your trust.”

“It wasn’t just my trust…. I mean we were drifting apart, but she broke me, Su. She’s not someone I would want back in my circle” you look at Su and she nods understanding where you’re coming from “Just don’t go disturbing my guards” Su looks at you.

“As long as they don’t disturb me” you smirk then look away “Alright well...I’m going to find that airbending daughter of yours.” you give Su and smile, heading out of the courtyard to look for Opal.

You smile as you watch Opal practicing some basic airbending forms “Hey Opal, looking good!”

“Oh y/n, hey!” Opal tucks some of her hair behind her ear as she smiles “I’m so glad for you, of course I would be equally happy without the bending” you were quick to assure her.

“Thanks, it was a surprising and exciting moment when I got my bending” Opal smiles as you walk towards her, taking a seat on the steps of the pavilion and pat a spot for her to join you “You know...you should totally join the other airbenders - get to know the culture, the history, make friends who share the same experience that you have. Have adventures, create memories, glide around like a flying squirrel” you grin sounding more excited than Opal, talk animatedly as you look out at the night sky and see the stars starting to shine. You hear Opal sigh before she speaks softly “Yeah, I mean I want to, but mom wants me here close to the family. I love my family and I think I’ll be homesick” she pulls her knees up and holds them resting her chin on her knees. You nod in understanding “I get where your mom’s coming from. Family is important, but sometimes you have to do what’s important for you to grow. Your mom got to do all of that and lived her life. You’re just starting your journey and you should have the freedom to do so.” You look at Opal “You moving to train with the other airbenders doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. You’re just doing what will help you be the best Opal you can be. Make sure you’re living your life as Opal, not as your mother.”

A silence settles between the two of you as Opal takes in your words and you speak up again

“Sorry… I wanted to catch up and thought it would be a happy conversation but that didn’t go according to plan” you laugh nervously, and Opal joins in with you and shakes her head “It’s okay, I sort of needed someone’s advice or opinion on it”

“Anytime” you smile at Opal before you sense someone approaching and you get up,

“Well I’ll let you get back to your airbending then” you smirk and Opal wave goodbye and she gets up to get back to practicing her new moves. You run into Bolin “Uh…hey Bolin. Where are you going?” you eye him suspiciously before glancing back at Opal “Oh uh…nothing. Just um, taking a walk” he touches his index fingers together nervously and you fold your arms smirking “So your walk has nothing to do with talking to Opal?” you tilt your head over to Opal who is practicing. “Oh no way Opal is here? I had no idea!” he puts his hand on his head pretending to be surprised and you are not amused by his antics “Bolin, you can cut the act. It’s obvious you like her. Just treat her right. As long as you do, she’ll treat you the same”

“Uh..yeah, okay” Bolin nods and fixes his collar and you laugh softly, patting him on the back “If you hurt her. I know where you’re staying at.” you say sternly watching Bolin sweating a bit, before giving him a smile “Good luck lover boy”

“yeah...Thanks, y/n” he smiles a bit

After showering and prepping for bed you keep wanting to go and check up on Lin and see how she’s doing. Glancing around the courtyard as you make your way to her guesthouse, you knock on the door hearing Lin’s voice “Come in”.

You open the door and step in closing it behind you, “Hey just wanted to check in now that you’ve had some time to cool off” you walk up to Lin where she sits on a chair and kiss her head while she reads the newspaper. “Better?” you run your hands down her chest and kiss her shoulder up to her neck, noticing she is in her white tank. “I’m feeling better now” she whispers and turns her head to look up at you, “Let’s get to bed”

“You’re supposed to be in your room” her lips curl up as she runs her palm up your arm -

“I couldn’t sleep without making sure you were okay” you say softly, planting a kiss on her forehead. Lin keeps her forehead against your lips “Well I’m fine”.

“Is that you telling me to leave?” you raise an eyebrow as you run your hands back up her chest,

“No, I’m just saying I’m fine. If you want to stay… you can” she looks up at you as she rubs your forearm softly with her thumb.

“Okay, want to head to bed now?” you look at her and Lin shakes her head “No, I think I’ll stay up for a bit. I’ll join you later” she takes your palm and brings it to her lips and kisses it before you lean down and give each other a kiss goodnight.

You slide the door to the bedroom and close it behind you as you get in bed and look at the ceiling thinking about how to help Lin. You know Lin wouldn’t want you to interfere with her family problems, but you have to help somehow. Lin reconnecting with her sister would be so beneficial for her. You don’t have the closest relationship with your sisters but at least you like each other and don’t fight every time you’re in the same room. You know if things were to go sour you can rely on them. You hope Lin can have that relationship again with Su. Before long, your thoughts tire you out and you start to doze off until the sound of the door opening and voices woke you up a bit. You groggily sit up and rub your eyes, quietly getting out of bed. Walking up to the door, you hear Opal’s voice as she opens the conversation, “I'm sorry being here has been so hard for you. When you showed up, I was so excited to get to know you. I heard so many great things about you from Mom and Grandma Toph. So, I guess I was kind of sad that you didn't want to get to know me” there seems to be a long pause as Lin doesn’t respond and Opal keeps going “Believe me, I know my family can be a little crazy and overwhelming sometimes but I would love it so much if you would be a part of it.” Her voice sounds hopeful at the end and you wonder if Lin would open up to her niece “Get out” Lin finally speaks. Your eyes widen as you hear a small gasp escape from Opal, shocked by the order “Sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“Get out!” Lin shouts at Opal you reach for the door but you stop yourself. You can't come out. You’re not supposed to be here in the first place. You force yourself to stay still and wait until the coast is clear before you enter the room. You hear crying coming from Opal as she runs out followed by the voice of Korra talking to Lin “What's your problem? Don't get mad at Opal, I asked her to talk to you because I thought it would help you snap out of whatever funk you're in. And I guess I was wrong.” Korra is raising her voice, that isn’t going to help . The sound of a chair scooting back echoes across the room as Lin stands up, probably turning to face Korra. ” Why don't you focus on fixing the World and…” Lin raises her voice “…stop trying to fix my family!”

“Su's right. You're never gonna change. You're always going to be a bitter, lonely woman.” Korra snips spitefully as she slams the door shut. Your chest is puffing angry from hearing those spiteful words and don’t hear any more footsteps, but you do hear quiet sobbing. You give Lin a moment before sliding the door open, seeing her with a hand on her face as tears flow freely down her cheeks. Your eyes soften at the sight and your heart breaks watching Lin cry and you rush to her and kneel in front of her, resting your hands on her thighs before cupping her cheek and softly stroking it. Anger starts to bubble inside you once again, balling up your free hand “After everything you’ve done for Korra. Protecting, watching over her, and she says that?! She had no right to talk to you like that, and for Su to say that to her in the first place. I’m gonna go give Korra” you groan “ -no both of them a piece of my mind” you get up seething and start to rush over to the door.

“No don’t” she looks up at you, quickly grabbing your arm as she stays seated on the armchair “Stop, you can’t….secret.”

You gently move your arm from her grasp and storm towards the door “Fuck the secret, Lin. No one gets to talk to you like that, not Su not Korra, no one. I won’t have it.”

Lin rushes to you, slamming her palm on the door and pushes - slamming it shut again while she fights back tears “y/n please” she whimpers. Her plea causes you to stand down, you push down your own anger and pull her into your arms, holding her tightly and letting her cry on your shoulder as you rub the back of her head.

“What’s the point if I can’t defend you, Lin.” you whisper then exhale deeply as you pull back looking down at Lin, cupping her face gently and stroking her cheek “You don’t need to defend me”. Lin refuses to look at you, feeling embarrassed to be crying in front of you, “No one, absolutely no one, has the right to talk to you like that”. You move your hands up to cup her cheeks stroking them softly as you look at you, “Baby, look at me” you whisper. Lin looks down shaking her head slightly. “Lin” you firmly speak above a whisper. Lin calms down a bit, looking up at you - her eyes red and you bite the inner part of your cheek “she’s wrong, baby” you whisper soothingly as you move some loose pieces of hair out of her face then look back into her eyes while your fingers continue to stroke her cheeks “You’re none of those things she said. You are a kind, strong, and beautiful woman,” you wipe the tears away before moving your hands down as she wraps her arms around you, gripping the back of your shirt. You rub the back of her head as she hides her face into the nape of your neck. You softly talk to her, “I know things aren’t good between you and Su, but that’s not Opal nor the boys’ fault. They just want to get to know you.”

“Su probably got Opal to talk to me as some tactic against me” she spat and you purse your lips as you kiss her head while you rubbed her back.

“Opal isn’t like that. She sounded genuine, honey” Lin closes her eyes “Can we not talk about this…. please” her voice cracking as she hides her face into your neck, voice cracking as she talks through tears. Your heart breaks for her but you nod and give her forehead a soft kiss

“Okay but come to bed.” You whisper to her as you bring your hands down to hold hers, lacing your fingers together and kissing the back of her hand softly while taking the steps to the bedroom. Letting Lin get into bed first, you climb in after her and wrap your arms around her. Lin turns over and lays her head on your chest, you let her cry quietly while softly rubbing her back to try and soothe her to sleep. “It’s okay, I’m here love” you whisper to Lin as you kiss her forehead softly, pulling on the sheets to cover your bodies. You continue comforting her and soon Lin falls asleep on you with her hand clinging to a piece of your tank.

That’s going to be the first and last time I’m going to allow Korra or anyone talk to Lin like that. I couldn’t stand hearing her say those words to Lin. ‘You're always going to be a bitter, lonely woman.’ Lin is far from bitter and she isn’t alone. First Korra and now Su... can’t they just back off? There’s a way to talk to someone. If only they knew that Lin wasn’t alone, not anymore anyways. If she’s bitter then surely there is a reason why.

You look down at Lin and watch as she snuggles closer to you her face looking relaxed. Her hand slowly lets go of your shirt and wraps it around your middle holding you close. You put your hand up and carefully brush the remaining tears off her cheeks with your thumb, “I love you so much, Lin” you whisper quietly, pressing your lips on her forehead giving her a kiss then looking at your girlfriend, wrapping your arm protectively around her.

You just realized that this was the third time you told Lin that you loved her and you feel your heart speed up. You told her to her face awake once and it just slipped, but the other two times she was asleep, but still you meant it every time you’ve said it.

You’re falling hard for Lin Beifong.

Lin was thankful that she didn’t have to go through the aftermath by herself and she had you there. She wouldn’t have been able to calm down or get to sleep if it wasn’t for you. She’s seen you upset with Korra before, but never this angry. She had to use all her strength to pull you back and when that didn’t work she blocked the door with her body. Lin didn’t want you fighting her battles, she can take care of herself. She’s done it alone for plenty of years and she wasn’t going to start asking for comfort now. Thankfully you put your own feelings aside and listened to her, focusing on her needs and wants which you did. You just wrapped her in your arms and held her as she cried and she hated the fact that you saw her tears, but it’s not something you haven’t seen before. Lin felt safe around you, and letting you see her in a vulnerable state emphasized the fact that she can rely on you during these times. She used you as a human pillow gripping your tank as she finally dozed off, emotionally exhausted from the tears. She thought she heard you say something to her, but she was too exhausted to hear your words. She could feel your heart beating, warming to how affectionate and attentive you were in her hours of need - no questions asked. She remembers how you asked her to be yours and even though she said yes, it was at this moment she was starting to fall for you, not even fully aware of it yet.

#TLOK3InTheseArms #lin x reader #linbeifongxreader #linbeifong x reader #lin beifong x reader #fyrefics

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