#Thanks pregnancy!

[captaindwaekki]

Just spent the last 3 hours crying off and on because I’m hungry but couldn’t figure out what I wanted 😬

[skopostheorie]

why are you googling pregnancy tests and abortions. Are you doing research for a scrampire mpr

The most humbling thing that's ever happened to me is someone thinking it's more likely that I am writing Sesame Street MPreg than me having sex in real life.

[rozenphox]

oh absolutely, anon ❤️

[macfrog]

Just me up at 2am wondering how many times Joel replays that wedding hotel room night in his head 🤔

warnings: breeding kink, pregnancy, m masturbation, desperately horny joel word count: ~600 words

i think he thinks about that entire night and wonders what the fuck even happened there. the way the world tilted ever so slightly the moment he pulled open his front door and saw her on his porch – sunlight twinkling from her earrings, satin draped over her breasts in pale waves; the shameless flirting under the cover of rosé wine and beer, string bulbs and rainbow disco lights.

i mean, one minute he’s waving his newspaper at her like a grumpy old man, counting down the seconds until she’s skipping back over to her own fucking porch – the next he’s caging her against the bed in her hotel room, thinking if he doesn’t fuck her here n now, he might tear the entire place apart.

between the wedding and three weeks later? yeah, he might think about it – just a little.

might think about her dress, the shape of her body beneath it. the way it fell from her hips – just slipped down over her curves and pooled at her feet like venus emerging from the ocean. might think about her naked body: how, until that night, he’d only ever wondered about it – stealing sideways glances over the fence at her little shorts and tight vest tops. but now…now, he knows what she looks like. he’s seen her undress for him.

and i bet he thinks about her soft gasp when he first pushed inside, after she finally caught her breath again; feeling the size of him inside her, how he knew she didn’t expect him to be so big and so fucking hard for her. how much he had to focus on not coming within five thrusts, she was so fucking tight.

bet he thinks about it in the shower, one hand against the tiled wall, the other jacking himself furiously. mouthing the words he whispered in her ear as their bodies rocked together: how good she is for him, how pretty she looks all full of his cock. bet he still hears the echo of her moans, the sweet little laughs lilting from her lips.

and when he finds out she’s pregnant? shit.

when he’s watching the evidence of what they did grow right before his eyes? her body blooming: stomach swelling, breasts growing, her cheeks plumping and her skin glowing? knows that he’s the one who changed her forever? knows that it’s his baby she’s growing?

sure. he probably thinks about that part a normal amount, too.

and i bet he thinks about how he shouldn’t be thinking about it. about her.

not when he’s sure she wouldn’t look at him ever again, if not for their parallel driveways and the parallel lines on that pregnancy test. not when he’s trying to act his fucking age, date someone actually appropriate for a forty-eight-year-old with backache and still two decades off retirement.

but it makes it worse – the fact he shouldn’t be doing it. shouldn’t be relieving the heavy weight between his legs in the morning with the memory of her lips closing around his fingers, playing on a reel behind his eyelids.

shouldn’t be staring into space while he’s driving, hearing her giggles once they’d finished; feeling her nails as she drew shapes on his sweat-sticky chest. shouldn’t be thinking about her wandering around with his baby inside of her; her body growing ‘n changing all ‘cause of what they did together.

he shouldn’t be. he shouldn’t he shouldn’t he shouldn’t but jesus, he is. you fucking know he is.

dear reader, joel has absolutely wrecked the tape, the number of times he’s replayed that night. the vhs player is smoking.

[gojoest]

pregnancy freak satoru holding your belly in his palms while he fucks you softly in missionary …………

[awkwardsonicphotos]

When are the twins due?

Sorry late to respond to this. They were supposed to be delivered this last Friday the 23rd. But they decided they wanted to arrive on Monday instead (the 19th) due to some complications with high amniotic fluid and reversing blood flow to Miles.

So they are exactly one week old today! Both are still in the NICU but are doing well!

[sher-ee]

BREAKING: In a stunning moment, Republicans just blocked legislation that would codify protections of IVF into law. Donald Trump and Republicans continue to wage war against women’s reproductive rights.

What a gem of a party.

Women for fucksake vote BLUE.

[merakiui]

AAAH i love your content so much...dang it i wonder how would Floyd react to preggo darling

If it’s android Floyd, he’s very protective of you! He always was, but now that he knows you’re carrying a baby he’s even more dedicated to keeping you safe. Jade is methodical in his approach, but Floyd has far more empathy than he needs. He’s more human than his twin counterpart. He baby-proofs the house based on what he feels is safe, whereas Jade does it based on the data he’s gathered. Either way, no danger will befall you with Floyd looking after you.

Androids shouldn’t have any programs that allow them to feel on the level of a human (or feel at all). Perhaps it’s a virus or a malfunction, but Floyd feels intensely and authentically. One particular emotion of his that you’ve noticed is embarrassment. Floyd actually gets flustered. You didn’t think it was possible, but when your libido is out of control, your tits are sore and full, and everything is just so miserable without Azul around you rely on Floyd for help. And he takes one look at you in your sheer maternity chemise and he blue-screens. It’s such a fascinating phenomenon.

When he fingers you gently and you breathe so softly, practically panting his name, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do. He thinks and feels closer to a human than an android most days, but sex is an entirely new realm for both the human and android sides of him. You’re so…soft. It’s the only adjective that comes to mind. Logically and quite literally, you are very soft. You must be for the baby: soft and round, beautifully well-fed. If Azul wasn’t so keen to nag him, Floyd would feed you way more than what you need just to watch you happily stuff yourself. He likes seeing you happy and content, but too much can be bad. He needs to learn the limits of humans so he doesn’t overdo it.

Still, he knows this is overdoing it—sinking his synthetic cock into your gummy walls while his arms snake around your gravid middle, cradling the bump so lovingly. He does this because he wants to, not because it’s his duty to look after you. Maybe these sorts of things shouldn’t come with feelings, but Floyd watches romance on TV. He sees how close humans are in intimacy. How soft and warm it must be.

He can content himself with his role on the sidelines so long as he gets to be there for you whenever you need him. He’s always there, ready to serve you.

[alienbabydraws]

You Know What (A Homestuck Rarepair Fancomic)

(Update every Tues & Sat)

First page || Back || Continue ==>

[keri-mcberry]

Heya I were wondering

Lyla love flying and quidditch?

What is her role in quidditch? Seeker? Beater ? Guardian or keepers?

Yes, Lyla fell in love with flying the moment she got on a broom! In her Sixth Year, she joined the Hufflepuff Quidditch team as the Seeker! ✨ I like to think the Quidditch captains would be scrambling over themselves to recruit the MC, especially hearing rumors of them beating Imelda at her own flying courses.

@theinstagameremily Oooh, this was a good question, and it took me a while to decide! But I think Lyla and Imelda would be cute together 🥰 I love how Imelda is initially rude and arrogant towards the MC but slowly grows to respect them and open up more to them as their relationship progresses. Plus, I’m a sucker for Slytherpuff relationships if that wasn’t obvious already 🤭💚💛

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 3: Ew....

Vaggie: (holding Charlie's hair and rubbing her back) How are you doing, hun?

Charlie: (panting) I'm good! I'm- HRK!!! (throws herself back into the toilet bowl and pukes)

Vaggie: (sad smile) Sit tight, babe. I'll be right back with some cool water and crackers for when you're done.

Charlie: (head still in the toilet, holds a thumbs up. Once the sound of footsteps fade, she flops against the wall in a seated position with a groan) No one told me this would be so gross...

*Sniff!* *Sniff* *Sniff!*

Charlie: What's that smell? (Sniffs the air like a dog and starts drooling) It smells so good~ (Follows the scent through the hotel to Alastor's room) Oh, no....

*Sniff!* *Sniff!* *Sniff!* *Droooooool*

Charlie: (whines and gently knocks on the door)

Alastor: Come in!

Charlie: (Opens the door and goes green at the sight of a dead, semi-rotted deer on Alastor's table) Oh, noooooooohohohohooo.......

Alastor: (stops cutting a chunk) Charlie, dear, what a surprise! How might I be of service? Is there a chance it could wait until I finish my lunch?

Charlie: (horrified by the dead animal and how the sight makes her stomach rumble, falls to her knees in dismay) NOooooOOoOoOooo!!!!

Alastor: (sighs) Very well. What is so important that it requires my immediate attention?

Charlie: THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M UPSET ABOUT!!!!

Alastor: Oh..... *DING!!!* Oh! Silly me. Would you like a piece?

Charlie: (watches in horrified starvation as a blob of rotted blood drips from the buck's mouth and plops onto the hardwood floor) Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie. Don't do it, Charlie.

Vaggie: (walking the hotel halls with a glass of water and bag of saltines in hand) Charlie? Babe? Where did you go? (Sees Alastor's door open and bristles) MOTHER FUCKER!!!! (kicks the door in with her spear drawn) ALASTOR!!! What do you think you're.... do-.....-ing.....

Charlie: (sitting on a chair in the corner and chowing down on a whole hindquarter of the deer, shaking her head as she shreds the flesh with her teeth and growling like a puppy)

Vaggie: Hooooooo-oh (covers her mouth as a sour taste spreads across her tongue and her face pales)

Alastor: (slightly taken aback by how Charlie ripped the deer leg clean off) ...........I do believe we found something she can stomach.

Charlie: (wailing as she swallows a whole chunk and goes in for another bite) Don't Look At Meeeeeeeee!!!!!

Bonus:

Charlie: (brushing her teeth furiously, causing toothpaste foam to spill all over her lips and chin) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Vaggie: (Stomach gurgling sickly as she stands in the doorway with dental floss and mouthwash in her hands) I'm just... happy we found something you can- *burp* (covers her mouth and swallows down bile) -can stomach...

Charlie: WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT!!!! (spits and takes the floss from Vaggie before running it through her teeth like a chainsaw belt)

Vaggie: Babe, it's okay. (Watches as Charlie throws away bloodied floss and hands her the mouthwash) Rinse. Last step before I feel comfortable kissing you again.

Charlie: (drinks a cap of mouthwash before swishing another cap around I her mouth, trying to talk while gargling and getting liquid everywhere) No one told me pregnancy was going to be this gross!!!!

[cowcat44artz]

Surreal coming back to the series that started it all, where my love of mpreg began. Pretty sure if it weren't for Toriyama, I may not have even dabbled into mpreg at all. A wild thing to think about. But so glad I did and would do it over again in a heartbeat.

Honestly such a weird/bittersweet feeling drawing Vegeta again…really do wish it was under better circumstances. Rest in peace Akira Toriyama. Thank you for everything🕊️

No one has permission to use this picture, DO NOT repost, trace, claim to be your own, edit/modify or de-face in any way! Reblogs appreciated

[j3llyf1shdust]

Hey, that pregnant Sonic AU.

We need to see Shadow being a good Dad-to-be

He's a bit dense sometimes. (Its the autism, your honor)

(And a little bonus)

[gojoest]

Hello ai! I was thinking about pregnancy freak Satoru and how he would deal with pregnant reader who can’t stand his scent. like he knows it’s the pregnancy hormones and it’s temporary but he can’t help himself sometimes and wants to be close to you so bad! Also your new theme it is amazing!!

oh he’s going to be so dejected 💔 even knowing it’s the hormones causing it, and that it’s nothing personal. it’s not like you don’t want him anymore but every time you push him away when he’s sneaking around for a hug his heart shatters 🥲 you try your best to tolerate it but it’s out of your control, your body just reacts badly bc of the pregnancy….his breaking point is when you make him sleep on the couch 🥲 naturally he grows a bit insecure, he’s changing his shampoo, shower gel, aftershave, perfume….nothing helps though bc your nose is so sensitive right now, everything repulses you </3 he’s having a real hard time waiting for this to pass ngl but in the meantime, there’s a few solutions to ease his yearning that he’s come up with— he facetimes you from the other room asking you to touch yourself, lots of phone sex. he asks for your used panties so he can sniff them bc he misses your scent. also, after yet another facetime sesh he wants you to wipe your arousal with your panties and give them to him so he can taste you…..he misses you so much it makes him do very creep coded things

[cuubism]

I love the concept of 'wish pregnancy' so much. Please, tell us more :D

ahh, mpreg 😂

the thing is i usually don't like thinking about pregnancy as a concept, and yet here with are with this fic that's 12000 words of it. dream and his strange metaphysical pregnancy and hob having an absolute hellish time trying to be prepared while dream just keeps answering every question with "i guess we'll find out :)" since none of this has happened before. i'm so close to being done with it

--

“I could have crafted a more elegant cradle of dreams,” Dream informs him then, because he really is apparently in a pissy little mood. Hob’s inclined to give him more leeway about it right now, though—not that he doesn’t give him miles of it anyway. “Oi,” he protests. “This is a perfectly serviceable crib! Besides, you don’t have to do everything.” “It has but two legs,” Dream says of the crib. “It’s incomplete.” Hob taps Dream’s belly. “And it doesn’t need to be complete until that’s complete. Worry about your part of things and I’ll worry about mine.” “I will strive to,” Dream says. Then sighs. “It was not only my choice to visit today. I was becoming a distraction in the Dreaming. Or so I was told. By many.” “They kicked you out?” “They strongly encouraged”—it has the sound of a Lucienne quote—“me to leave for a break.” It’s probably not the worst thing in the world. “Normally I’d expect a whole thunderstorm when you’re told that.” “It irritated me greatly,” Dream agrees, either ignoring or just missing the gentle ribbing in Hob’s tone, “but I did not want to cause chaos. This is a delicate time for her.” Hob can just hear Matthew’s reaction to that line in his head—oh you don’t want to cause chaos for the BABY? what are we, chopped liver?—but doesn’t mention it to Dream.

[merakiui]

Breeding box for goldfish riddle and his darling?

YES YES!!!! EXACTLY!!!!! You have read my mind, lovely anon. <3 goldfishie Riddle who keeps nudging you because the eggs are packed so tightly inside you, and they're stuck and it's causing you such discomfort. >_< he doesn't know what to do. He's trying to help in the best way he can (by chasing and attempting to breed you).

The researchers take notice of this and thus the breeding box is installed into the tank to isolate you from Riddle. He's so distressed with the separation, but he's soothed somewhat since the box still allows him to see you even if you're now separated by a wall of glass. Researcher [insert twst character here, but for me it will always be Azul LOL] gets into the box with you to help you in laying the eggs. Gently massaging your gravid belly, pressing down softly...... orz orz you're clinging to him and crying relieved tears because it feels so much better with his help. Riddle knows the researchers are helping you, but he feels so useless simply watching from the other side. He's your mate! It's his job to help and care for you, and yet he couldn't do that this time. Aaaa he feels like he's failed his duties as a mate.

You're kept in the box for a few days to recover. The researchers check in on you, bring you your meals, calm down a very irritated Riddle, and eventually you're back to feeling like your usual self. Sadly, this clutch isn't fertilized. Riddle fully intends to help you the next time you have eggs, but this time he'll be the one helping you to lay them and, of course, fertilize them so you can start a family hehe.