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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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Demigod MC Series: Hestia

This is another eternally virgin goddess, so we're doing another pseudo-demigod by adoption (like we did with Athena).

Demigod MC: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia

Hestia is the goddess of the Hearth, Home, Architecture, Domesticity, Family, and the State. She's high up there (firstborn of Rhea and Cronus), but several factors have led to her falling into the background when compared to the other (flashier) Olympians. She swore to never marry, rejecting proposals from both Poseidon and Apollo, and is something of an antithesis to Aphrodite.

Lucifer

Honestly? He thought they were exactly what they were after. A weak human with no experience in the magical world what-so-ever.

Well… He was half-right.

On the surface, this is a pretty weak human. They don't have super flashy powers or a divine birth from the gods… but they do have a very protective adoptive mother.

The brothers had just settled in for their first dinner with the new human when the goddess herself strolled into their dining room, asked who was in charge, then dragged Lucifer away by the ear!

She's not even his mother, yet he felt the intense urge to apologize and put himself in his own room… Oh, the humiliation… at least she did the same to Diavolo…

The Prince was only able to calm her down by promising absolutely NO harm would come to her child… on their heads...

By the time the goddess finally let him go, Lucifer was about ready to shackle the MC to his wrist so nothing could touch them but he settled on keeping them with him like an assistant of sorts. They were in charge of helping him with the paperwork so he could keep an eye on them.

What he didn’t expect was for them to be so… good at it? They could keep his offices clean, they managed his daily schedule, fixed up the House, and still have time to bring him tea and sweets every night!

They could even reign in his brothers somehow… They weren't strong or intimidating, but one or two mildly unhappy words out of them and everybody would be on their best behavior.

Was everyone positive they're only human...?

As much as he hated to admit, he may have a slight deep case of falling for the housekeeper… He would make a move, but well…

He has Beel to contend with first.

Mammon

Okay so, watching Lucifer get dragged out by the ear just like Raphael used to do to him was hilarious!!! The whole room got a good laugh! 🤣

Until Hestia glared at them and suddenly they all felt like they'd disappointed someone important….

And all that fuss over some dumb human??

So what if they made amazing food?

So what if they could clean the entire mansion in a day?

So what if they were the walking equivalent to a warm cup of cocoa on a winter's day??

So what if they were just the kindest, sweetest thing in this godforsaken hellscape and he would throw himself in front of a bus to keep them safe-

-Wait, when did that happen?!?

Seriously, Mammon's attachment to the MC came out of NOWHERE to him. One day, he was threatening to eat their soul and the next he's freaking out when they stub their toe!

He swears they have to have some kind of magic about them! A charm, or a spell, or… their lovable smile and warm, loving hugs...! 😊

Damnit!! They're too cute!! He needs them to go away but also never leave, thanks. 😒

In all seriousness, though their kind nature puts Mammon's tsundere self at a bit of a disadvantage, his protective instincts shoot through the roof whenever they're involved.

Naturally, that means his day is spent running them away from hungry lesser demons or shielding them from Beel and Lucifer's tug-of-war matches… He's a busy guy these days. 😖

Leviathan

They're so… so… MOE!!!

That was his immediate thought when Mammon brought them home. He was expecting a defenseless human, but not one that could have stepped out of one of his slice-of-life manga!

To be honest, his instant thought was try and find a place to sit them on his shelves with the rest of the adorable characters he loves… 😅

And that was before they even opened their mouth! Five words into their introduction and he was ready to get their face on a t-shirt!!

Honestly, combine their natural cuteness with their household skills and they made for perfect waifu/husbando material…

Not helped by the fact they found one of his maid/butler outfits while doing the laundry one day. Not only did they ask if they could wear it, they actually non-ironically liked it and started wearing it around the House!!

Oh he got cornered by Beel, Lucifer, and Mammon separately that day because they thought he was using them for fetish fuel… But it was their idea, he swears!!

I mean… He didn't discourage them or anything either but still…

If Beel hadn't claimed them on Day One, Levi might have eventually thrown his hat in the ring too... Oh well… he can pine from a distance… What else is new? 😔

Satan

He has a video of Hestia dragging Lucifer out of the dining room on his phone and it's one of his most treasured possessions now. 😌

He is perhaps the only person in the House who was not at all impressed with their little human.

So they could cook? So could he. So they can clean? That's not impressive. They could manage a household? Big deal, he's more or less been in charge of the same thing for centuries!

As far as he saw it, there was nothing the MC could do that he couldn't do as proficiently or even better. There was nothing remarkable about this human at all!

… except for one thing.

That maid/butler outfit of Levi's? The one they like to wear around?

It has cat accessories…

Either they don't notice or they don't mind it but they essentially walk around the House cleaning things with little kitty ears attached to their head and a bell on their collar…

Dammit… Why did Levi even buy that?!?

Satan ended up getting in trouble for enchanting their outfit to give them REAL ears and a tail "accidentally..." Lucifer strung him up by his toes, Beel gave him a black-eye, and Mammon still calls him a "perverted cat freak" but it was worth it, he says, worth it!!

Asmodeus

Oh Beel…

Asmo saw Beel's feelings for the MC coming from a mile away. He didn't even need to confirm it with a sniff check, he had them scented by the end of their first night!

Lucifer, on the other hand, now that was a surprise... 😏

Ask him a century ago if Lucifer would ever consider a human lover, godly mother or no, and he'd have laughed! Yet here he is, giving gifts and sneaking whiffs of their adorable new housemate!

Of course, that's causing some commotion because they're pitted against each other, but Asmo finds it kind of cute honestly.

Beel and Lucifer aren't fighting, not for real. The whole house knows Lucifer would win in a real brawl, but neither of them actually want to hurt the other… They're far too close for that.

So Beel tosses Lucifer around with kid gloves and Lucifer holds back considerably against Beel. It's pretty much just two brothers who love each other squabbling over the same toy… 🤭

Honestly, Lucifer might have bowed out by now and just let Beel have them but now his pride's on the line… thus an endless tussle between family and the sweet MC is in the middle, clueless to it all!

Tragic, is it not? But it certainly makes things more entertaining around here! (Good thing too since Beel beat him to the punch… If it's a fight against those two, he'll have to keep any of his own affairs with the MC under the radar... 😏)

Beelzebub

He has claimed this one. Full stop.

For a bit of perspective: when Barbatos needs cooking tips, he calls Hestia. Hestia, the Divine Master of All Things Cooking. Hestia, the goddess who raised this MC…

Needless to say if they have any magic at all, it's in the kitchen.

If food is the way to Beel's heart, this MC has claimed his heart, soul, and probably all of his vital organs. Their food is astounding!! Always perfect every time and so good it brings him to tears!

It started the night of that first dinner, prepared by MC. He was too busy scarfing down the table to even notice a goddess showed up and then he proposed to the MC with their own pig roast by meal's end!

They said no to marriage, but an instant pact agreement suited him just fine.

Beel didn't waste a single moment before he started treating them like a potential mate, territorial aggression and all, but there was a bit of a catch… He kept the MC totally oblivious to it.

Surprisingly, Beel's can turn the "They're MINE" part of his brain on and off pretty well. He's nothing but sweet and cuddly to the MC when they're around and even with his brothers!... as long as they don't try anything.

The moment he caught whiff that Lucifer might be pursuing them too, it was on. Suddenly the two brothers who almost never fight were in competition against each other! But of course, both have an unspoken rule to never do so in front of MC.

And now poor MC believes it's common for demons to "play wrestle" like puppies and hugs are traditionally supposed to be so hard they could snap spines…

And it doesn’t look like they'll be backing down any time soon… Oh dear...

Belphegor

You know what? For once, everything goes exactly to plan for Belphie!

No really, this MC has no hidden powers, no magic horses, not even Demon Nip. They are a helpless, trusting little human who just wants to help their big teddy bear get his twin back!

So, you know how it goes. The charm, the lies, the treachery and all of that. He even gets to kill them!! Oh, happy days!! 😁

Come to think of it, they did smell an awful lot like Beel… But who cares, as long as Lucifer suffers right?? And this whole "living together in harmony" crap fails, right?!

Wrong.

Beel went ballistic. Lucifer did too, but Beel was what really hurt…

Belphie can safely say that in all of his life, Beel has never physically attacked him. Not once, or at least, not with intent to kill…

But when the sixthborn's fist went crashing through the wall right by his ear that day, he knew his brother's first instinct was to aim for his head… and his second was to miss, as he still loved him, but only by just a little.

What the hell did he just do??

Thank their father for Barbatos and all the funky time stuff he can do because bringing the MC "back" snapped his angry brothers right out of it.

Things should have been smoothed over at that point but as everyone was finally settling down for tea, Hestia made another appearance in the House… this time carrying a butcher's knife!

Time fix or no, Diavolo had promised her no harm would come to MC and at least one continuity of them DIED… so punishment was now on Lucifer and the Demon Prince himself!

Belphie, in a rare case of guilt and an expression of brotherly love, offered to take their place since it WAS kind of all his fault. His gesture softened the Goddess of Family juuust enough to lighten his sentence from execution to hard labor.

And thus, the MC had their own housekeeping assistant for a whole year, complete with bitter reluctance and a matching maid outfit! Cat-theme and all!!

He's sending nightmares to anybody who laughs… guaranteed. 😒

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me demigods

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

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Not a Good Look: Chapter 6

@thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @lady-charinette @elmokingkong tagged as requested :)

Chapter 5 | Chapter 7 | AO3 link

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I thought I slipped a line in the last chapter but I apparently totally flaked, so to clarify: Alya was in fact recording invisibly.

“Okay, remember the plan,” Ladybug says, pacing her room in front of Alya and Nino. “Alya, you need to get video proof of Hawkmoth. Do that and you’ll have everything you need for the Ladyblog. Nino, you have to get the Peacock – and you can’t let Nathalie get to it first, or we’ll have a sentimonster to deal with! The goal is to get in and out, understood? No drawn-out battles!”

She’s keenly aware that this is the nth time she’s rehashed the plan for Alya and Nino but considering the ladybugs that are jittering around in her stomach and getting clogged in her throat, she’s sure she could be forgiven. Alya and Nino nod, clad in the Tiger’s magenta and the Dragon’s red, black, and gold respectively.

“Understood, Ladybug,” Alya says gravely.

“And you need temporary names,” Ladybug says. “I know that you don’t want to grow attached to your new transformations, but I can’t call you Alya and Nino when we’re in there.”

“Just go with Tigresse and Redfang then, dude,” says Nino – Redfang – after a moment of silent conversation with his girlfriend. “Quick and simple. Trixx and Longg are cool but I can’t wait to be Carapace again. No offence, dude.”

Trixx just shrugs from where he’s perched on Ladybug’s shoulder, next to the fox necklace around Ladybug’s neck. “It’s okay. I miss my kit. Orange suits her way better than magenta.”

“Yeah,” Tigresse says. “Roaar’s cool but she’s no Trixx.”

“Tigresse and Redfang. Right.” Ladybug swipes open her yo-yo and dials the Horse, and she’s greeted with Kagami’s brown-masked face after only two rings. “We’re ready. Are you sure you can open a portal remotely, or do you need to come here?”

“I’m sure,” Kagami says. “I’d rather not leave in case my mother comes to check in on me. But I’ll have my phone with me, so you can call me even when I transform back. Give me a moment.” She places her horseshoe down on her bed, giving Ladybug a fuzzy view of her ceiling, and slides to her feet. After a few seconds, there’s a faint, “Voyage!” and a crackling blue portal opens in front of Ladybug, showing Adrien leaping out of his bed and calling on his Chat Noir transformation as soon as it appears.

“Right.” Ladybug squares her shoulders, ignores her fluttering stomach, and walks straight through the portal, followed by Tigresse and Redfang. Chat Noir envelops her in a quick hug as soon as her spotted feet land on his shiny wooden floor, and she takes a moment to bury her face in the crook of his neck and inhale the scent of sweat and musky earth, just like whenever she’s hugged Adrien; thank god for Miraculous identity magic, because otherwise she’d feel like the world’s biggest dumdum for not figuring out that her crush was her superhero partner, considering how…intense her feelings for him have gotten in the past.

“Thanks for letting me be the one to sting him,” Chat Noir says with a twisted little grin once Ladybug’s stepped back and handed him the Bee comb. Pollen appears in a flash of golden light and bows to Chat Noir as he slides the comb into his messy hair.

“At your service, my king,” Pollen says.

“Still as stuffy as always, honeybun,” Trixx teases. Pollen shoots him a glare that’s somehow regal and dignified despite its venom.

“I’m not your king,” Chat Noir says. “This is a one-off. Actually, I don’t even know who your new holder’ll be. Kagami, maybe, if she’s not too attached to Longg?”

“She would make a good Bee,” Ladybug agrees. “But we don’t have time for that. Where is everyone else in the house?”

“My bodyguard’s in his room,” Chat Noir says immediately. “I took a risk and, um…told him who I am. He agreed he wouldn’t get in our way, so he won’t come running no matter how much sound we make, but that means he also won’t be able to help us. Considering that he’s got, like, ten figurines of me, I’d hope he’d be on our side,” he adds under his breath. Ladybug snorts.

“Yeah, okay, I doubt he’ll betray us,” she says. She wants to be annoyed that Chat Noir had just up and told someone his identity, but he’s her partner and if he says he can trust someone enough to keep the secret, well, she has to trust him enough to let him handle it. “And the others?”

“Nathalie’s in her office and Fa – Hawkmoth’s retired for the night. I hoped Nathalie would go home but, well…she’s been spending more and more time here since Heroes’ Day. Now I know it’s because she’s Mayura and she and Hawkmoth have this weird thing going on.”

“Ugh, gross.” Tigresse wrinkles her nose, which only makes her look adorable considering that it’s underneath the black feline nose of her magenta mask. Chat Noir, meanwhile, looks like he’s trying to fight back a gag. Had he seen something during one of his Aspik cycles? “I don’t even want to know what supervillains get up to. You ready, babe?”

“Of course.” Redfang gives her a quick kiss and then crosses over to Adrien’s light switch and hisses, “Thunder Dragon!” Once he’s turned into a bolt of electricity, he zips into the light switch and the crackling that accompanies his elemental transformation fades with him.

“Let’s do this, kitty cat.” Ladybug clasps her hands. “Tikki, Trixx, unify!”

“Plagg, Pollen, unify!” Chat Noir echoes. His new merged outfit is pretty much identical to his Chat Noir outfit, only with a black-striped yellow belly, gloves, and boots, a yellow and black tail that now looks a lot like a long stinger, black strands in his golden hair, and a trompo around his waist rather than a lyre. Ladyfox’s suit, on the other hand, has turned as orange as the Fox, while a white patch has formed on her belly, her arms and legs are black up to her elbows and knees, she has a wide fox tail around her waist under her yo-yo, and her black spots remain.

“Well, kitty, you look pawsitively bee-autiful,” Ladyfox purrs. Abeille Noir’s cheeks flush red.

“You’re one to talk, foxy bug,” he shoots back. Tigresse clears her throat.

“Can we get on with this before I throw up?” she says. “Because now that I know that you two are my best friends, I don’t know whether to cheer you on or force you to stop.”

“Fine, fine,” Abeille Noir grumbles. “I’ll remember this next time you’re making out with Nino. Let’s go.”

Thankfully, unlike Multimouse and Aspik’s failed adventure, there’s no one out in the halls this time; considering that it’s pretty much midnight, Ladyfox hadn’t really been expecting anyone, but overconfidence has never served anybody well, so it’s better to be wary in cases like this. Tigresse summons her invisibility with a whisper before they set off through the dark maze of hallways, deep into a wing of the mansion where Ladyfox has never gone before. Abeille Noir probably hasn’t been here too often either, if the growing apprehension on his face as they plunge deeper into the depths of the mansion is any indication.

“Hey.” Ladyfox grabs his yellow-gloved hand. “It’ll be okay. You’ve got me and Tigresse right here with you.”

Abeille Noir swallows and shoots her a small grin before pausing in front of a door and closing his eyes. With a deep breath, he opens them and reaches out to grasp the doorknob, then turns it and pushes the door open ever so slowly, pausing frequently to avoid any squeaking. Ladyfox probably has about ten panic attacks in the time it takes for Abeille Noir to get the door fully open, but there’s thankfully no sound of alarm from within the room, so they seem to be undetected…for now.

Also, thankfully, Gabriel Agreste is wearing clothes. He doesn’t seem the type to sleep in the nude or at least shirtless but, well, considering that he’s ninety-nine percent certainly Hawkmoth and he’s definitely been plotting to get her akumatised and sell Adrien off to Lila, there’s a lot that Ladyfox doesn’t know about him. And sure enough, once they’re close enough that they can touch him – not that they would if they could help it – there’s a small oval brooch on his nightshirt, gleaming in the sliver of moonlight streaming through the closed curtains. Abeille Noir sucks in a deep breath that thankfully doesn’t wake Gabriel. Now they just have to get the brooch off and then they’ll be home free; they can only hope that Gabriel doesn’t expect anyone to come into his room at midnight and steal his magic jewellery, especially not a team of superheroes.

But when Gabriel suddenly awakens and clamps his hand around Ladyfox’s wrist right as she’s got a grip on the brooch, she can’t help but let out a small squeal and almost crash backwards into Tigresse and Abeille Noir, who also give twin shrieks. Ladyfox tries to back away, but Gabriel has all the leverage once he’s straightened up and grabbed her by the throat, and he forces her down onto the dishevelled blankets with wild eyes.

“You really thought I wouldn’t order my kwami to wake me at the first sign of danger?” Gabriel growls. “Nooroo, dark wings rise!” Now it’s Hawkmoth who’s got her pinned to the bed, grasping furiously for her earrings…but then he suddenly freezes and turns into nothing but dead weight that Ladyfox quickly kicks off her.

“Are you okay, milady?” Abeille Noir says frantically as a trembling Ladyfox snatches the brooch off Hawkmoth’s shirt. He turns back into Gabriel Agreste in a flash of purple light, accompanied by a purple kwami with butterfly wings who lets out a gasp and shoots for Abeille Noir, burying themselves in his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I should’ve Venomed him sooner instead of panicking –”

“It’s okay, kitty. Really.” Ladyfox lets him tug her in for a tight hug. “We all panicked. I hadn’t even expected that he’d get Nooroo to warn him if someone tried to take the brooch. Tigresse, you can stop filming.”

“Oh, thank you, Master Adrien!” Nooroo cries into Abeille Noir’s suit. Abeille Noir’s hands instinctively rise to cover the tiny butterfly kwami. “I’m so sorry – I never wanted to do any of what I’ve done, and I didn’t want to warn him, but he ordered me to do so, and now I’ve scared Ladybug –”

“Nooroo, it’s fine. Really,” Ladyfox says soothingly. “It was just a fright. And you couldn’t help doing what you were told.”

“Wait, how do you know who I am?” Abeille Noir pulls Nooroo away and cups him gently. “You’ve known all this time?”

“Of course,” Nooroo says. “I was ordered to hide my presence from everyone except for Master Gabriel and Nathalie but Plagg wasn’t under any such instructions. It wasn’t hard for me to detect him, even if I was forbidden from giving him any sign that I was there.”

“And you didn’t tell Hawkmoth?” Abeille Noir says. “I didn’t think you could disobey him.”

“I didn’t disobey him,” Nooroo says with a shaky little shrug. “But he never directly asked if I knew you were Chat Noir. He’s asked for my thoughts and he even said that he suspected you of being Chat Noir but so long as he didn’t give me a direct order, I didn’t have to tell him.”

“Okay, as sweet as this all is,” says Tigresse, “I’m gonna time out soon and that Venom won’t last forever.”

“Right. Right.” Ladyfox tucks the Butterfly Miraculous into her yo-yo and Nooroo vanishes with it. “Let’s just hope that Redfang got the Peacock.”

They fall into the post-adrenaline trap of taking much less care on their way back to Adrien’s room, not bothering to keep the sounds of their footsteps and breathing down, so it’s no wonder that around the corner from Adrien’s room, they’re forced to skid to a halt and hold their breaths to avoid being detected by Nathalie, whose heels clack against the expensive floor as she makes her way down the hall.

“Adrien? I thought I heard something.” She raps on Adrien’s door and frowns when there’s no answer. “Adrien?”

“Do something, milady!” Abeille Noir hisses in Ladyfox’s ear. She immediately unslings her flute and frowns, waiting for Nathalie to knock on the door again so that she can play her flute and summon her Mirage without being heard. A moment later, there’s a massive crash somewhere else in the mansion, and Nathalie takes off running immediately in the opposite direction. Huh. She may be evil but Ladyfox can’t help but envy her ability to run in heels like that.

“Nice thinking, Ladybug!” Tigresse says as they dart for Adrien’s room and shove the door shut behind them. Nino’s on his feet next to the white couch, his eyes wide, with Longg hovering next to him.

“You’re okay!” he says. “I heard the crash and I thought – shit, I thought you guys got caught –”

“It’d take more than an old, crusty white man to take us down, babe,” Tigresse grins and lets her transformation fade before kissing Nino. “You got the Peacock?”

In response, Nino holds out a pin that’s shaped like a peacock tail. “You gotta make her shut up!” he says. “I can’t take any more of it!”

“Any more of what?” Abeille Noir says. “Pollen, divide. Claws in.”

In response, a small blue thing comes whizzing from Adrien’s bathroom and careens around the room, squealing. “Woohoo!” it cries. “A midnight heist! Oh, the drama! The betrayal of father and son!”

“For the last time, Duusu, shut the hell up!” Nino hisses. “You’re gonna get us caught!”

Duusu just giggles and zooms over to bop Plagg on the nose. “Plagg! It’s been so long! You’re it!” she trills and darts away. Plagg facepalms.

“Don’t worry, she’s always been like that,” he says. “Tikki reckons I’m an angel compared to her.”

“Yeah, I can see why,” Adrien says, his eyes glued on Duusu and her mad flight. Ladyfox just sighs.

“Trixx, divide. Spots off. You’ll be okay, Adrien?”

Adrien nods. “I’ll just pretend that I heard a crashing sound that woke me up and my bodyguard told me to stay in my room. He’ll back me up. But you guys should go before we push our luck. And I…” He runs a hand through his messy golden hair. “I need to process the fact that I really am living in the same house as Hawkmoth.”

Marinette grimaces. “I promise we’ll all meet up tomorrow and sort through this together,” she says. “We’ll skip school if we have to. Now that Hawkmoth’s defeated, I think I’ll be okay telling my parents who I am if it means I can be there to have your back.”

“Same here, dude,” Nino says. “No way we’re gonna let you deal with it alone. I just texted Kagami, so she should have the portal ready right –” A crackling blue portal opens right in front of them. “– now.”

Adrien gives Marinette a quick hug and then steps back with a twisted mouth. “See you tomorrow, bugaboo,” he says, sliding the Bee comb out of his hand and handing it to her. “You too, Alya and Nino. And…thanks. For everything. For having my back. For not turning on me because I’m related to Hawkmoth. I’ll text Kagami and thank her too.”

“Of course,” Alya says with a small smile. “You’re our best friend. See you tomorrow, sunshine boy.”

With one last smile and wave, Marinette ducks through the portal and lands back into her room, followed by Alya and Nino. While Alya calls Kagami to fill her in on the mission, Marinette fetches the Miracle Box and opens it up so that she can deposit the Fox, Bee, Peacock and Butterfly where they belong, followed by the Dragon and Tiger when Nino passes them to her. Is the Peacock still broken? It hadn’t malfunctioned at all when they’d touched it, but she’s not sure what knowledge Hawkmoth had wrangled out of Master Fu during that dreadful day, or even if it malfunctions in its disguised form. Maybe he’d fixed it. Maybe it’s still broken. She’ll just have to wait and ask Nooroo and Duusu after a good night’s sleep.

“Well, we’d better get going,” Alya says once she’s hung up, hugging Marinette. “We’ll spin some tale to Lila about losing track of time and making out and stuff. She’ll eat it up, especially after the interview she gave us today. And we’ll tell our parents that we were on some secret mission for Ladybug, so they don’t get mad at us for ditching the kids and being out so late. They don’t need the details, at least till I’ve posted on the Ladyblog.”

“Thanks for everything, Alya,” Marinette says into Alya’s hair. “You too, Nino.”

Nino joins the hug and slaps Marinette on the back. “What are best friends for, dude?” he says. “No one fucks with my bro and gets away with it.”

Once Alya and Nino are gone, Marinette climbs up the ladder to her bed and faceplants onto her pillow, not even bothering to change into her pyjamas. Then she proceeds to scream for the next half hour, reassured with the knowledge that it’s muffled and won’t be heard by her parents, so that she’s not an emotional mess when she transforms and heads to the police station. No way is she leaving her kitty in that house for longer than necessary, nor is she giving Gabriel and Nathalie the chance to weasel out of being caught and punished for everything they’ve done to Paris, even if it means that she has to sacrifice her sleep for that night. But with Hawkmoth and Mayura defeated, hopefully it’s the last time she’ll have to lose sleep.

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here4theheartbreak · 4 years

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Skating Into Love (VMin)

✩ AO3 Link Here!

✩ Relationships: vmin (Jimin x Taehyung)

✩ Genre/Universe: fluff, domestic, getting together

✩ Rating: General

✩ Tags: fluff, meet cute, Halloween costumes, minor NamKook, minor Sope, past Taemin x Jimin, pre-relationship

✩ Summary: Jimin isn't exactly excited to go to the costume contest as the back end of a centaur. But it might be his lucky night.

✩ Word Count: ~2.2k

✩ A/N: Written for @btsholidaybingo for the square Costume Contest.

In reality Jimin didn’t want to go. Costume contests weren’t his thing. Nor were roller skating rinks and boisterous, drunken crowds. But Jungkook had a face Jimin simply couldn’t say no to. And it would do him good to get out, he knew, especially after the breakup.

Get a rebound! Jungkook had cried when Jimin reluctantly agreed to the party. But they both knew that wasn’t in Jimin’s nature. He loved easily and got hurt often for it. But that easy love was also wholehearted. Rebounding, using someone for short term fun or sex or anything that could break someone’s heart – it wasn’t in his nature. So, there’d be no rebound tonight, but he did promise Jungkook he would try his best to have fun.

Realistically, Jimin knew what Jungkook was dragging him along for. The party was going to be at the local roller rink. Which meant there was a ninety-nine percent chance the local ice skating (and roller skating) champ, Kim Namjoon, would be there. And Jungkook, bless his young heart, had the biggest crush on Namjoon. But anxiety got the best of him at the worst of times, and he tended to clam up when face to face with said crush. Jimin often helped alleviate that stress. Jungkook had been planning to ask Namjoon out during this Halloween party for weeks.

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this,” Jimin lamented, his voice muffled.

“Oh come on, it’s fun,” Jungkook argued. He reached back and patted the side of the ‘horse’ from his point at the front of the costume. A handsome centaur, of course.

“You made me the horse half.”

“Well you’re not the one looking for a date, so no one needs to see your pretty face. You’ll steal any boyfriends I might want,” Jungkook said.

Jimin kicked forward, his sneaker making contact with Jungkook’s calf. He laughed when Jungkook yelped, leaning down to rub where his shoe hit.

“The only boyfriend you want is Namjoon and I have zero interest in that walking disaster.”

“You’re one to talk. You ran into the door yesterday.”

“So you put me in the costume piece with minimal vision?”

“Yep. You get to hold onto me though, I’ll keep you safe.” Jungkook leaned forward and grabbed the door so they could both enter the building. It was a gorgeous little community center, really; with a nice sized roller rink in the center, and surrounded by a little eating space, a video game room, and a door on the far side connected to a bowling alley.

“So how do you plan on doing this, genius?” Jimin asked.

“Let’s meander a bit, see if we can find any of our friends. We can separate and eat and then go skating if we want to.”

Jimin nodded, holding a little tighter to Jungkook’s waist. He could see his feet moving through the open part in the horse’s stomach, and it was making him a little dizzy. Jungkook chatted with people as they passed, and Jimin was both annoyed and relieved to be hidden by the costume. Though he would have liked some acknowledgement as they walked through the crowds, it was nice not to see that pitying look people had been giving him so often since his breakup with Taemin.

They reached the counter finally, and Jungkook ordered, nudging Jimin. Jimin stood, separating the horse body, shaking his hair from his face. He grinned at the counter girl who did a double take. He ordered and winked at her before heading with Jungkook toward where he spotted Namjoon and Yoongi sitting.

Namjoon was dressed head to toe as a large tree trunk, his face made up to match the pattern of the bark. He had large gloves that made his fingers look like thin branches, which made his attempts to eat his hamburger quite comical.

Next to him sat Yoongi in an entirely grey outfit, his eyes half closed as he scribbled on a notebook next to his half-eaten nachos.

“What are you?” Jungkook asked as he sat next to Namjoon.

“I didn’t dress up,” Yoongi mumbled.

“He’s the boulder to my tree,” Namjoon said, beaming at Jungkook. “What are you?”

“Centaur!” Jungkook said excitedly. He nudged Jimin, who groaned and stood just as soon as he’d sat down. He leaned over, grabbing Jungkook’s waist and shrugging the costume over his head. Jungkook stood straighter, grinning broadly. He was wearing a tank top that was damn near see through, allowing a great view of his abs.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” Namjoon said.

Jimin stood again, taking a seat next to Yoongi and stealing one of his nachos. “Except I’m the ass.”

“Well, someone had to be.”

“And we all know you need to impress N—” Jungkook slapped his hand over Jimin’s mouth, giggling shyly in Namjoon’s direction. Jimin rolled his eyes, pushing Jungkook’s hand off his mouth.

“Well, you need to impress the world’s most oblivious tree trunk.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened and Yoongi chuckled. “He’s not wrong.”

“About what?” Namjoon asked.

“Nothing!” Jungkook cried, clearing his throat.

Jimin rolled his eyes again. He rose, bowing to the woman bringing their food as he went to get the tray from her. She smiled broadly, swaying her hips a little as she walked away.

“She’s flirting with you,” Yoongi commented as Jimin sat back down.

“I know.”

“So… Ask her out.”

“Why?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I just figured. After Taemin…” He drifted off when Jimin’s smile dropped from his face. “I just mean—”

Namjoon cleared his throat, giving Yoongi a pointed look.

“It’s fine,” Jimin said, grabbing his burger and taking a bite. He offered a half smile. “I’m over it,” he muttered with a mouthful of food.

The conversation shifted easily, much to Jimin’s relief. He looked out over the rink as the others chatted, watching the skaters. Lots of zombies, sexy witches, nurses, ghosts… And one mummy that seemed absolutely terrified of his roller skates.

Jimin watched the mummy shift, his feet sliding out from under him the second he moved away from the wall. It was sort of cute.

When the group of friends finished their meals, Namjoon rose, heading to get them all skates. Jungkook, as usual, followed. Yoongi chuckled. “He’s so in love with that guy.”

“Right? How does Namjoon not know?”

“I don’t know. Namjoon likes him too. That’s the worst part. If these two would just pay attention to each other they’d see that and stop annoying us.”

“Were you dragged along as backup too?” Jimin wondered. Yoongi nodded.

“Of course. I have far too much to do to waste time here. After you guys start skating honestly I’m probably gonna take off.”

Jimin nodded. “I would except I’m an actual part of his costume. I feel bad ditching. Oh! Is that Hoseok?”

Yoongi perked up at that, looking back in the direction Jimin was looking. Hoseok was on the rink already, dressed in a garishly bright sunflower headpiece and a green shirt and pants.

Yoongi grinned ear to ear. “On second thought…” He rose, heading over to grab the skates from Namjoon as he and Jungkook approached. He hurried toward Hoseok, waving.

Jimin smiled and rolled his eyes. He took the skates from Jungkook, sliding them on and rising. He turned, waiting for Jungkook and Namjoon, until he realized the two were already deep in conversation, skates forgotten for the moment beside them.

Jimin’s face drooped a little. He looked toward Yoongi and Hoseok, who were skating close together as they chatted. As always. He sighed softly and headed out to the rink, skating between the couples and happy groups of friends alone. It was stupid, being so broken up like this. But he’d been truly happy with Taemin, and there was no good reason the other could give as to why he’d dumped him. At least, not beyond wanting to focus on his career. Which, Jimin supposed, was as good a reason as any. He needed to get over it. He needed to get over him.

Deep in thought, Jimin didn’t notice the mummy as he approached. He did, however, notice when the mummy’s very long legs went in opposite directions, and his arms flailed, nearly knocking Jimin over. He grabbed onto the boy without thinking, stabilizing him.

The mummy cried out in shock, looking over at Jimin. Despite the makeup and bandages on his face, Jimin could see that he was around the same age… And strikingly beautiful.

“Thank you,” the mummy said, his voice a low rumble that went straight to Jimin’s belly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jimin bit his lower lip. “You don’t look too sure of yourself on these skates.”

“I’m horrible at rollerblading,” the mummy confessed. “I only came because of my big brother, and he ditched me earlier to go make out with his partner. I can move well enough as long as I have someone to hold onto.”

Jimin rolled his eyes deeply. “God, same. Do you want me to help you get out of the center of the rink?”

“That’d be great, yeah,” the mummy said, laughing a little. Jimin grinned. He hooked his arm in the mummy’s, moving toward the wall slowly.

“Just match my movements. Left, right, left, right,” he said, leaning close to be heard over the music. The mummy did so, managing not to fall on his ass.

When they reached the wall, the mummy sagged in relief.

“Thank you.”

Jimin paused. “I’m Jimin.” He stuck out his hand.

“Taehyung,” the mummy said, shaking it.

“Nice to meet you, Taehyung. Your costume is cool. It looks professional.”

Taehyung nodded. “My brother is a stage performer. His partner made our costumes.” He pointed off the rink. “That’s them.”

Jimin looked, his eyes widening. A tall, broad shouldered man dressed as a very realistic werewolf was snuggling a beautiful person dressed as an elf, broad chested and tall. Jimin gasped then. “Wait, is that Kwon Solbi and Kim Seokjin?”

Taehyung nodded. “You know them?”

“My brother has the biggest crush on Solbi. I absolutely adore their work. Seokjin is newer, isn’t he? He’s so good. He has so much talent. Seokjin is your brother? Or do you refer to Solbi as--”

“Seokjin, yeah. He met Solbi when he was a stage hand for their play last summer. They’ve been inseparable. Which is fine. I like Solbi. But I wish… You know…” Taehyung drifted off then shrugged. “What about you? What are you supposed to be?”

Jimin’s smile drooped again as he looked down at his ridiculous “costume” – which, without Jungkook – looked like brown pants and a white t-shirt.

“I’m a horse’s ass,” he mumbled.

Taehyung laughed hard, shaking his head. “You don’t look that bad. What is it? Really?”

“No, I’m being serious. I’m the ass end of a centaur. The front half is over there—” Jimin’s voice halted a little when he looked. “with his tongue shoved down that tree’s throat.”

Taehyung looked over and chuckled. “I see. And you got relegated to the ass end, what? Because he wanted to impress someone?”

Jimin nodded. “He’s been crushing on our friend – the tree- for ages. I’m glad he finally made a move.”

“What about you, Jimin?”

“Hm?” Jimin turned back to Taehyung and tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“You seem… Alone. Most folks have already split off into their groups. And you were willing to be the ass end of the costume, which probably means you’re not looking to impress anyone.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m single.”

Taehyung nodded. “Got it.” He bit his lip. “You know…” He hesitated. “Cute ass.”

Jimin’s eyes bulged. “I’m sorry?”

“You make a cute horse ass. Or… You have a cute ass, however you wanna take it.”

Jimin felt his cheeks heating up. He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing a little helplessly. “Taehyung, I—”

Taehyung shrugged. “Not gay?”

“Oh no, I’m gay. But I just went through a breakup. You seem nice but… I don’t wanna do a rebound. Especially not with a nice person.”

“Understandable.” Taehyung smiled, tilting his head. “Then how about we start as friends? I need someone to go roller skating with and everyone we know has ditched us. I need a new friend anyways, don’t you?”

Jimin relaxed a little. Taehyung looked so honest and kind, it was refreshing. “I always need a new friend.”

“Then we’ll be friends. We’ll see what happens after.”

Jimin grinned and nodded. “Deal.” He held out his arm for Taehyung to take. The two began to skate again, moving slowly as Jimin made sure Taehyung wouldn’t fall on his (very cute now that he looked at it) ass. The two began to talk easily about everything under the sun, finding both a lot in common and many differences that brought on fun debates. It was as if they’d known one another forever.

Taehyung ended up winning the costume contest, a gift certificate for two to a nice restaurant in the city. And, though it was a romantic restaurant, Jimin gladly accepted when Taehyung invited him to share the prize that following weekend. Friends could go to romantic restaurants together, couldn’t they? Though, Jimin had to admit, as they exchanged numbers and Taehyung planted a surprise kiss on his cheek before they separated for the evening… He hoped that by the end of that date, just maybe, they’d be more than friends.

#vmin #fluff #boymeetsmxm #btsguild #networkbangtan #mywriting #jimin x taehyung

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curious-minx · 4 years

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October 2010s Music Deep Dive!

A mock up poster for the only possible music festival line-up I would be willing to risk my life attending. Tony Allen’s passing has caused the entire Octoberfest to be cancelled indefinitely, but all proceeds from ticks will be given back to the community.

Hope all of you special nobodies and overblown somebodies reading this right now are having a smashing start your first o November. All last month I had taken it upon myself to listen to as many albums and fragments of albums released sometime during the month of October spanning the entire 10’s decade, 2010 through 2019. This is all probably a result of drinking too much dead water, Quarantine brain, undiagnosed Autism, magical thinking and the death of boredom. I have created a Spotify playlist sporting 25 hours and 4 minutes worth of music with an arbitrary amount of albums getting multiple songs, but largely one song/album. This project did create a sense of madness because of the volume of music that gets cranked out. How can we expect anyone to properly criticize music when it is nearly impossible to keep up with it all? I largely culled these albums from Allmusic’s Editorial Choice section, but I did have to use Rateyourmusic to fill out the hip-hop and R&B gaps. In gathering up all of this music I am attempting to see if spooky music was relegated to the October season and any other possible trends. Even though October has been laid to rest her swelling calendar breast still contains a treasure trove of music worth discussing. Grab your broom, sharpen your heels and get the cobwebs out of your ears because we’re going on a Deep Dive!

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The 2010s Old Souls and Musical Auteurs

I consider any musician or band that endures more than a decade worthy of this veteran label. Music biz lifers seem found solace in the October release schedule. A trend that has carried onto the new decade with October 2020 offering revitalized releases by Elvis Costello and Bruce Springsteen reunited with the E Street Band. All three main members of Sonic Youth, Moore, Gordon and Renaldo are still harnessing that spooky Bad Moon Rising energy and carrying it over into their solo releases.

KIM GORDON’s NO RECORD HOME

The first truly proper solo album by Kim Gordon following up her pretty good noise rock releases under the Body/Head moniker with Bill Nace. No Record Home towers over Thurston Moore and Lee Renaldo’s mostly okay solo releases because of how truly experimental and refreshingly modern sounding No Record Home is. This album sounds like it could easily have come out from a young Pacific Northwest Trip-Angle (RIP) label upstart. Instead, Gordon is defiantly aging gracefully and remains an all around important feminist voice in experimental rock music. No Record Home did not pop up on a lot of “Best of the Year” lists in 2019, nor did Gordon embark on any kind of touring for the release. I am hoping that more people will eventually discover this great album and realize that Gordon was truly the best, most truly experimental aspect of Sonic Youth. Her vocals on this album are the best she’s ever sounded because she built these songs and sounds with the intergral collaborator, producer Justin Raisen. A glimpse at Raisen’s Wikipedia page is a who’s who of great artists of the past decade: Yves Tumor, Charli XCX, and Sky Ferreira. The collaboration occurred at an AirBnB shared between Gordon and Raisen and birthed the first single of the project “Air BnB.” A song that completely sets the tone of the album and features one of those amazing music videos in the same line us Young Thug’s “Wyclef Jean. “

Björk - Biophilia

Can you name the last album the rolled out with its own app? Nine years have come and gone and I certainly can’t think of another album with such wholesome ambitions. Björk was getting passionate about ecological concerns in her native Icelandic home with Sigur Ros and using her sphere of influence to try to good. 2014 the app has found a permanent home in the MOMA, but outside of this curio status the album itself is still a worthwhile addition to the Björk canon. Biophilia finds Björk in musical scientist mode using sounds captured from a Tesla coil and making a whole musical universe onto herself. The rest of the 2010s found Björk going for bigger and more ambitious projects that continue to frustrate those who wish she would go back to her poppier roots. She remains one of those most consistent solo artists around and someone no one will be able to predict what she does next. The only thing is certain is that it will be visionary and will probably include a wildly ambitious rollout and a new piece of physical art like Biophilia’s $800 tuning forks.

NENEH CHERRY - BROKEN POLITICS

Featuring production duties for the second time from Four Tet (who also pops up in the October playlist with his 2013 album Beautiful Rewind). Broken Politics in Cherry’s words, “is about feeling broken, disappointed, and sad, but having perseverance. It’s a fight against the extinction of free thought and spirit.” The music video for single “Natural Skin Deep” was filmed in Beirut, a backdrop made even more painful given 2020’s Explosion. Cherry is an artist with deep spiritual and blood connections with artists central to jazz’s history. Broken Politics also features songs built around Ornette Coleman samples. This is all to say that Neneh Cherry is always going to be someone tapping into a creative cosmic vein that spans generations, and with that comes a hard wisdom. Two years later we’re still dealing with the same god damn guts and guns of history.

OTHER NOTABLES:

(Cat Power - The Wanderer; John Cale - Shifty Adventures in Nookie Wood; Tony Allen - Film of Life ; Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Psychedelic Pill ;Bryan Ferry - Olympia; Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Ghosteen ;Yoko Ono - Warzone; Vashti Bunyan - Heartleap; Elvis Costello & The Imposters - Look Now; The Chills - Silver Bullets; Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright In The End;Laurie Anderson - Heart of A Dog;Janet Jackson - Unbrekable;The Mercury Rev - Light In You; Rocketship - Thanks To You; Van Dyke Parks & Gaby Moreno - Spangled; Donald Fagen - Sunken Condos; Prefab Sprout - Crimson Red; Pere Ubu - 20 Years in a Montana Missile Silo; Negativland - True False )

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TRILOGY OF BLACKSTARS

Three last albums released by three titans of 20th century songwriting. Two of them follow the trajectory of an older artist getting rejuvenated by a younger backing band. Lulu is beyond a meme at this point and is considered one of the most confounding flops since Metallic Music. Like Metallic Music, Lulu will get a reappraisal and find its audience. Mr. Blackstar himself Bowie considered Lulu one of his favorite releases. “Junior Dad” alone makes this album a worthy addition in Lou Reed’s discography. Scott Walker invited some similarly hairy and intense younger rock studs into his private castle and pulls off a far more natural combination. Soused fits like a velvet glove on a elegant corpse hand swirling thick slabs of guitar and demonic percussion. Scott Walker effortlessly orchestrates between elegance and moribundity whereas Lulu wallows and thrashes against the ugly riffage.

No riffs or oozing wall of sound are anywhere to be found on the sparse and pointedly elegiac You Want it Darker. Leonard Cohen never went full on sleazy I’m Your Man ever again but he didn’t become adult contemporary either. You Want It Darker finds Leonard and his son Adam Cohen. When Leonard passed away he was the only one to get a full David Bowie like museum tribute, Lou Reed only got a corner of a library. Cohen is far and away the most accessible mystical Jewish Buddhist monk with a penchant for fedoras and having a masked man with a leather belt beat him in the recording booth [citation needed]. You Want It Darker is the only one of these mortality laden kiss offs to win a Grammy. I do wonder if Cohen would have ever allowed a more adventurous production to touch his staid and timeless old fashioned sound. Tom Scharpling divides Leonard Cohen into his Pre-Fedora and Post-Fedora days. If you are being literal about that demarcation that still gives you a pretty vast body of music I just want sad bloated blurry black and white Leonard Cohen with a banana or the smiling cad on Songs of Love and Hate. Even the floppy fedora era has worthwhile albums and he sounds like if Serge Gainsbourgh was a muppet Gargoyle, he’s reliable. I will always beat myself for not buying that official Leonard Cohen raincoat at the Jewish Museum Leonard Cohen exhibit, but I hope someone has and they are finding comfort with Cohen’s music. A lot of his latter day period is comforting in a sardonic sexy mind bending nursing home sort of way.

I am glad that these men were ultimately spared from having to deal with Covid times and even someone as tasteless as Brian Wilson’s Ghost can acknowledge that it’s more important than ever to keep your elderly loved ones locked away in a well ventilated pod.

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(INSERT ARTIST HERE) SEASON

For a few sticky sweet select few artists the month of October proved to be a suitable release launch pad for more than one album. The Mountain Goats and clipping. have just joined the October two-timer club this year. The reigning queen of October releases is Taylor Swift and Adrianne Lenker. In chronological order swift released Speak Now, Red and 1989 probably Swift’s biggest run in terms of critical and commercial success. None of these albums have a particularly big place in my heart, in fact speaking on behalf of Brian Wilson’s Ghost Ltd. I’m not the biggest fan of America’s Sweetheart, Sweet Tea Poet Laureate. All three of these albums all came out in the latter part of October and based on the Target brand synergy roll-out felt as inevitable as pumpkin spice. Haunted. Sad Beautiful Tragic. Out of the Woods. These are either song titles taken from these three albums are the names of the under utilized Romantic Halloween Horror Comedy genre. Lady Gaga might have been spooking it up on American Horror Story, but Swift gives a far more chilling performance in Tom Hooper’s midnight madness of Cats and I could envision Swift excelling really well as a horror film actor. Especially in a role like Scarlett Johansson’s Under the Skin.

You cannot get more polar opposite from Swift than Adrianne Lenker. Who released her first solo album abysskiss and the second Big Thief album of 2019 Two Hands. Lenker will have also gone on to make her third October release this year with her second solo album songs & instrumentals. Striking that such a ghostly autumnal band would have only released one album in October, but autumnal feeling albums are not beholden to release calendars. The song “Not” from the Big Thief album Two Hands is a watershed breakthrough moment for the band and put Lenker and her band on the map. In 2019 Big Thief became a band that could get booked onto a Goodmorning American performance slot and more or less made Big Thief one of the rare 2010s indie bands to become more or less a household name.

Other notable artists to have released more than one album on October 2010s:

Less notable artists to have multiple October releases: James Blunt Korn

Calvin Harris

Kings of Leon

Pentatonix

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FORMER HARBINGERS OF HYPE

These are October releases from artists that once felt like whenever they put out an album a wider array of outlets and publications seemed to care more and would spill more digital ink over them. The big three artists that had the biggest drop off in attention and acclaim that stick out to me the most are Titus Andronicus, Justice and Why? All three artists debuted with strong starts back in the aughts, but according to critical reception more or less crashed and burned. Titus Andronicus’ Local Business was one of the last times Titus Andronicus would get positive marks from Pitchfork. Local Business a fun and shaggy follow-up to one of the most self-serious concept albums of the 2010s.

Justice’s Audio, Video, Disco similarly is a follow up to a highly acclaimed album that set the bar high enough to doom Justice into never living up to the hype. Justice’s 2007 s/t heralded them as the next Daft Punk, but unlike those soulful and thoughtful robots Justice mainly wanted to make big ridiculous unfashionable synth prog rock. Audio, Video, Disco is simply cheesy fun and even though we live in a world better off without parties and gatherings this album helps you feel like you are in high-def IMAX monster mash on the moon.

The leaves us with Why?’s Mump’s Etc. an album that already had the job of following up an already divisive follow up record Eskimo Snow. Why’s Alopecia is a really important 2008 indie blog rap album that helped thrust the online indie blogs into the hip-hop genre hybrid experimentalism. Why? would never make another universally beloved album again and with Mump’s Etc. ended up permanently in Pitchfork’s hate pit. In the original release review the Pitchfork writer essentially deems this album an act of “career suicide.” The whole review is essentially an assignation of Why?’s figurehead Yoni Wolf and taking him to task for all of his awkward lyrical blunders and the fact he is narcissistic enough to be a musician writing about his career in a meta fashion. Yet when I listen to Mump’s Etc. I am more or less enjoying Yoni Wolf’s personality and find the whole thing to be pretty charming. A perfectly serviceable 3.5/5 release that a media outlet like Pitchfork turns into a flexing opportunity to show how that they have the power to make or break a career.

A.C. Newman, an artist who appears on this playlist with his terrific 2012 Shut Down The Streets took to Twitter to scoff at the idea that a good Pitchfork review has done anything for his career. Shut Down The Streets currently remains the last solo album Newman has released under his name choosing to focus on his main gig with the New Pornographers. The Internet based hype machine is even more ADHD addled and twitchier by the day. The joy of doing this deep dive allowed me to revisit a lot of these artists and acts that I had fallen out of touch with. I had completely forgotten about King of Convenience’s Erlend Øye who released the album Legao in 2014. I rediscovered a good deal of bands like the Editors, The Dodos, Kisses, Black Milk, Crocodiles, Empire of the Sun, Juana Molina, Jagwar Ma, Here We Go Magic, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., YACHT, Peaking Lights, The Twilight Sad, Elf Power, Swet Shop Boys, Radio Dept, Allo’ Darlin, Foxes In Fiction, and HOMESHAKE are all bands not trying to change the world or challenge listeners with avant garde experimentation. Instead I feel like I maintaining relationships with old friends on the edge of obscurity.

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A HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS IN OCTOBER

A tradition stretching back as far as 2014 not October’s Idina Menzel’s Holiday Wishes, but Seth McFarland’s Holiday For Swing sweatily released on CD, digital, and vinyl on September 30, 2014. 2015 then brings us a Chris Tomlin and Ru Paul Christmas albums because every force of Neo-liberal good must be balanced with evangelical contemporary Christian music *shutters.* 2016 finds the Christmas in October era reaching a complete and utter nadir with R. Kelly’s final official LP 12 Nights of Christmas and A Pentatonix Christmas, but also buffered by Kacey Musgrave’s Christmas. 2017 only had time for Gwen Stefani’s You Make It Feel Like Christmas and no one else could evoke this feeling in October. On 2018, Michelle and Barack Obama’s combined one and only Christmas wish comes true, no not cancelling those drone strikes, but getting John Legend to join the October release jamboree; Eric Clapton claps open his guitar’s butt cheeks and hatefully squats out a half assed Xmas album defiantly opening the album with “White Christmas” [eyeroll emoji]; and finally 2018 found the Pentatonix announcing in October that Christmas Is Here. I apologize for all of that crude butt talk about the hateful racist Eric Clapton, but(t) I have festive gluteus Maximus on the mind, because in 2019 Norah Jones got her alternative country gal trio back together to remind us to shake our Christmas butts. Eat shit commercial shit, today’s Santa’s birthday! That’s the magic of the October release schedule!

The hallowed Christmas in October tradition continues on in 2020 with Dolly I-Beg-Thee-Pardon releasing A Holly Dolly Christmas right on time on October 2, 2020 (Carrie Underwood missed the memo and unwraps her unwanted My Gift in September 2020). Meghan Trainor, Goo Goo Dolls, and Tori Kelly released Christmas albums. Can you believe Seth MacFarlane comes up twice in this article, because his sleazy J. Michigan Frog croon is processed and grated like Parmesan cheese snow flakes all over a rendition of White Christmas. What a time to be alive!

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WHERE DID THEY GO?

A Brief Case For Class Actress’s Rapproacher

Among my October music travels I encountered one artist that really impressed me with her proper LP debut Rapprocher. The trio fronted by Elizabeth Vanessa Harper is essentially peddling the kind of competent moody 80’s inspired synth pop that belongs on a lost Donnie Darko sequel. Harper’s vocals are striking and expressive and they are melded with constantly propulsive bed of shiny synths and glossy barely-there gated percussion. Outside of an 2015 EP called Movies featuring exciting production contributions from Italo-disco icon Giorgio Moroder there has been nothing else from Class Actress. Highly recommend you check them out especially if you want to find the sweet spot between Chromatics and Kylie Minogue.

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THE OCTOBER 2010s MASTERPIECES

(Robyn - Honey, Big K.R.I.T. - 4eva is a Mighty Long Time ,Miguel - Kaleidoscope Dream, Crying - Beyond The Fleeting Gale , M83 Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming ,SRSQ - Unreality, Sufjan Stevens - age of adz, Joanna Newsom - divers, VV Brown Samson and Delilah, Kelela - tear me apart , Neon Indian - VEGA Intl., Fever Ray - Plunge , Antony and The Johnsons - Swanlights (goodbye album) , Caroline Polachek - Pang , Sky Ferreira - Night Time, My Time . Bat For Lashes Haunted Man, James Ferraro - Far Side Virtual , Grouper - Ruins , Kero Kero Bonito -Bonito Generation , DJ Rashad - Double Cup)

Maybe if I surround this VV Brown album with more well known artists she’ll finally get some more clicks? I should also mention that Joanna Newsom’s Divers is nowhere on my Spotify October Music playlist because Joanna Newsom thinks Spotify is bananas, and she hates bananas. I know I should also mention Kendrick Lamar’s good kid, m.A.A.d city and Tame Impala’s Lonerism. That’s the maddening thing about October music that just when you think you covered all your ground you find another hidden hump underneath the carpet. I feel remiss without mentioning striking debut and instant hidden gem Tinashe’s Aquarius, which did you know has a new album art on Spotify. Death Grip’s No Love Deep Web. T_T I didn’t even get around to making a big verbal mosaic to Thom Yorke’s witchy Suspiria soundtrack.Corpus Christi! I forgot to highlight The Orb album in the collage with my other veteran artists! As you can see this project nearly ruined me. I did not necessarily listen to all of these albums from front to back, but I did listen all of the songs on the playlist and chose them from the immense collection of October releases. I am pretty sure this is the kind of content for no one in particular but I really needed to get it out of my system. Let’s meet back up October 2030!!!!!

(Thank you to my beloved partner, best friend and Spotify provider Maddie Johnson XD)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7sdLaNNaqWpKEKXRZ3jNqY?si=SLZxUwLMQYOQ5wA1xuZc7w

#spooky #spooktember #spooktober #spooktacular #octoberfest #autism #best of #music festival #Joanna newsom #sufjan stevens #kendrick lamar #tame impala #Taylor swift #big thief #Adrianne lenker #ru paul #kelly klarkson

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beautifulburn-chriscornellfanfic · 4 years

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Chapter 1

Mojave Desert, May 31 1991

The desert sun burns a beautiful shade of red as it begins to set just over the hills. I shift into gear, my black '69 Dodge Charger roaring beneath me with the wind blowing through my dark curls. I've been driving for hours though it feels more like days and I desperately need a drink of some sort. You can only drive so far and so fast before everything merges into one and you can't seem to separate the sky from the road.

The desert highway is a place I can escape, even if I have no idea where I'm going, it's comforting in the fact that it allows me to feel so free. Let's face it, I'm a fuck up. No matter how hard I try, everything just seems to crumble to pieces if I have anything to do with it. I just need space. Time to think. A place to clear my head. So with a duffel bag packed with as much clothes as I could fit with my most cherished possessions, I did the only thing I know how to do.

Run.

Run as far away as my car will take me.

Reaching in the glove compartment I take out my aviator shades, flicking the last of my cigarette out the window and decide it's time for some music. I slide some Pantera - Cowboys From Hell in the cassette deck of the car listening to Dime's guitar rip through my ears.

As the incredible thirst for a drink takes over, I find a little one horse town just off the beaten path and pull up to an old dive bar. The only other vehicle in the lot was an old beat up pick up truck and I decided to park next to it.

I open the car door and swing my legs out, feeling the rough gravel from beneath my Doc's. I could still feel the residual desert heat from the day as the sun now casts a pinkish-purple hue across the sky.

I rise from the drivers seat, adjusting my ripped, distressed light wash mini denim skirt and my low cut Type O Negative band shirt that I had made into a little muscle tank top, showing off my cleavage in the best way possible. Flipping my curls out of my face, I grab my bag to freshen up a little bit and close the car door to make my way inside the bar.

I step inside and notice that the bar is actually bigger than it appears on the outside. The only one inside was the bartender who was wiping down the bar who looks up immediately at me as the door closes.

"Hey, uh... restroom?" I ask.

He sticks a toothpick between his lips, flicking the bar towel on his shoulder and points to the ladies room at the far left corner.

"Thanks," I smile shyly and he gives me a nod as I make my way through the bar tables and chairs to the ladies room. I eased myself into the tiny bathroom, setting my bag up on the counter.

"At least it's clean in here," I say to myself as I take my sunglasses off and glance at myself in the mirror. I didn't look as bad as I thought but I still needed a bit of a touch up, I examine the small cut just above my eyebrow, thankful that there's no bruise appearing under my eye. That's the thing about my life though, see a train wreck become that train wreck.

I grab a bit of toilet paper from the dispenser, wetting it under the tap and dab a little bit of the dried blood from the cut. It must've started bleeding again when I put my sunglasses on.

"Fuck," I sigh to myself trying to keep it together. I've come this far I don't need to break down now. I finish cleaning myself up a little feeling a bit fresher than before and 15 minutes later I was good to go. I slip my sunglasses back on, pack up my back, make sure my curls were alright as they fell down around my shoulders and I head out of the ladies room.

I quickly ran back out to my car, throwing my bag in the backseat and made my way back inside to sit up at the bar.

"So... What can I get for a pretty young thing like you?" The bartender smirks as he plays with the toothpick between his lips.

"Jack... straight up," I smirk. He pours me a shot, sliding it over to me with a napkin underneath and I try to think about what I should do for the rest of the evening. I know I need some food. I didn't think I was hungry but as soon as I downed that shot I could already feel the warm and fuzzies wash over my body. I order a couple of tacos and wash them down with another shot of whiskey, feeling nice and relaxed. I set the shot glass back down on the bar and the bartender offers me another one. I nod and he pours, then slides it back over to me.

"Is there like... a hotel or something, or some place around here to stay for the night?" I ask as I twirl the whiskey shot between my fingers.

"Hell, no," He smirks as he takes away my empty plate of tacos.

Well that's easy, looks like an all nighter is in store for me or a good sleep in the back of my car.

As I look around at the empty bar I know I'm not going to be able to stay up all night with the bartender as my only company. But that was about to change in a big way.

Suddenly what seemed like a cavalry of vehicles arrive just outside and pull up to park around my car. A couple of trucks, vans and a bus that practically looked like a tour bus filled the parking lot outside.

"What's going on out there?" I ask as I down my whiskey shot.

"Bunch of rock n' rollers... they're makin' some music video or somethin' out here in the desert and come here at night to eat, drink and play pool. Nice bunch a guys though... tip well," He says as he wipes down the bar.

"Huh... local?" I ask.

"Nah, from up north... Seattle I think,"

I was just about to ask a little bit more when the door opened and a bunch of guys came in. I glance at each one of them as they walk through the door but none of them seemed familiar to me but everyone looked tired and thirsty. When they saw the bartender, they all hailed and waved at him. They looked like they were from up north for sure and were not unpleasing to the eye, especially the one who wore just a pair of baggy black shorts, a black button up shirt that he left unbuttoned and Doc's that matched mine. His long dark curls fell around his shoulders as he flips his curls out of his face, grabbing the pool cue from the wall and chalking it up. He was gorgeous, but I didn't want to stare too long so I turned back as the bartender poured me another shot. There must have been at least 25 guys in the group of them, a few girls thrown in there as well. They had turned on the old jukebox, ordered a slew of beers and food. It didn't seem like they were paying any attention to me other than the first guy I noticed walking through. I would catch his blue eyed glance every once and a while as he played pool and sipped his drink, laughing with everyone else. I'm honestly surprised some of the girls weren't all over him.

With the last glance he gave me, I quickly turn back again looking up at the T.V that was mounted above the bar which was oddly tuned to MTV. A few flashes and then a music video started... Soundgarden's Loud Love.

"That's where you're from," I say quietly to myself as I watch a few flashes of the video. Seeing Chris Cornell bare chested in his ripped jeans and boyish face was a sure distance from how he looked across the room playing pool. His curls are now obviously a little tamer and that goatee makes him look incredibly gorgeous.

"Soundgarden is here?" I whispered to the bartender as he poured me another shot

"Oh yea, that's what they're called. I couldn't remember... you heard of 'em?"

"Yea a little... that's the lead singer over there," I say nonchalantly gesturing to the crowd around the pool tables.

"Really? You wanna meet 'em?" He smiles at me.

"Uh no, no that's ok," I suddenly regret mentioning anything at all.

"Nah, don't worry it's alright... Hey... uh Chris right?" The bartender flags him down and he looks up from the pool table where he was about to take his shot.

"Yea, man" Chris replies with that smile that could make your heart fly out of your chest.

"C' mere a second will ya?"

Chris put down the pool cue and whispered something to one of the other guys, flips his curls out of his face and wonders over to us. I couldn't help but let my eyes wonder over him. His amazingly tall, toned but lean figure was on display from the opened shirt that he hadn't buttoned. I had the best view of him all night.

"This pretty young thing would like to meet ya," The bartender hooks his thumb in my direction and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, burning with embarrassment.

Oh god, just kill me now.

I am of fan, I'll admit that but I'm not some high school girl or a groupie with a crush, I'm mature. Been through a hell of a lot of shit in my life. I'm the same age as Chris, maybe just a few months younger than him but all the same.

His eyes flick over to me, wondering over my body for a few minutes and then he flashes me that smirk and I smiled shyly back at him. I probably look a little disheveled given the fact I've been driving all day in the hot sun. I flip my dark curls out of my face and try to straighten myself as I down another shot of whiskey.

"Mind if I join you?" Chris says to me offering me another smile as he moves over to me.

"No, not at all," I say and set the shot glass down in front of me. I'm surprised I'm not wasted yet but I have been pacing myself.

"I'm Chris," He says sweetly as he offered his hand for me to shake.

"I know," I say awkwardly with a bit of a giggle and realizing it was just a polite way for him to ask my name.

"I'm Andrea - er Andi," I say shaking my head a little and I reach out to shake his hand.

"Andi...? Well, nice to meet you Andi," He says giving me a flirtatious wink.

"So uh, what are you guys doing out here?" I ask trying to act casual as I gesture for the bartender to pour me another shot.

"We're uh... shooting a video out here, and it's only the second day and we're dying out here already," He chuckles.

"Not used to the desert heat?" I ask as the bartender pours me some whiskey.

"You could say that," He smiles at me then asks the bartender to have what I'm having.

"Never seen a chick drink whiskey like that before," He says as he takes a sip from his shot glass.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Like it's water, without any reaction," He raises his eyebrow at me.

"I guess I'm not like most chicks," I say and take a sip of my whiskey this time.

"So, you from around here?" He asks as he flicks his eyes over my body again, landing just at my chest for a few moments and then looks away to sip his whiskey.

Ok think Andi think...

"No... just passing through, on my way to Vegas... so..." I lie. He takes another sip from his shot glass, setting it down and asking for another. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander over his body as well. He looks so fucking amazing. So much more so than on T.V

"Vegas huh? Nice place," He raises his eyebrow at me again.

"Yea, yea it is... crowded though..." I say as I twirl the shot glass between my fingers.

"True... lots of temptation as well," He says slyly.

"Yea..." I trail off and take another sip of my whiskey.

Please don't ask any more questions about me, I'm running remember?

Somehow like he heard what I was thinking, the conversation switched to current events and what not, trailing into a conversation about music, different genre's we're into, bands we like... I take it he figured out I was a metal chick probably just from looking at me which sort of made me nervous about my story since I sure don't look like I'm from around here.

"So the video you guys are shooting... is that for the new record or somethin'?" I ask as I shift myself on my bar stool attempting to flirt but feeling like it wasn't coming out right. It had been a while since I've even attempted to and thank god for that liquid courage because any other time I just feel awkward, out of place and not even remotely confident enough to try at all.

"Yea... the record's due out in September so the record company wants a video as soon as possible... promote it to the masses you know," He smirks.

"Aiming for something a little different?" I ask gesturing to what he was wearing. It wasn't far off from what he looked like in his other videos but, damn he looks good. He looks down at himself for moment, opening his shirt just a little more, his dark curls falling down around him then glances back up at me with that sly smirk again. I guess I'm not the only one who's trying to flirt.

"Maybe," He says taking the last sip of his whiskey. I glance up at the clock above the bar and see that it was now creeping towards midnight, not even realizing how long we've been sitting here chatting away. I knew it was a while though as I could feel my bladder become increasingly full. I excuse myself to the ladies room to relieve myself and assess the situation in the mirror.

It looks like the cut above my eyebrow has started to bleed a little again. I grab some paper towels and dabbed what I could, cleaning it up again as best I could. I'm also really starting to feel those shots of Jack Daniels and I wasn't sure if I should continue on. I really just need to sleep this off before I start to embarrass myself. I tried to think of something to excuse myself without offending Chris and figured I'll just wing it once I get back to the bar.

Once I decided I looked presentable enough again, I stepped out of the ladies room and found that Chris wasn't at the bar any longer. I couldn't tell through the crowd of people if he was still even there so I just decided to step outside and head to my car, hopefully un-noticed.

The night air was still warm and all was quiet except for the muffled music coming from inside. I saw a few flickers of lightning off in the distance with a rumble of thunder and a part of me welcomes the storm that was brewing off in the distance. At least it'll help me sleep in the back of my car.

I'm glad I didn't have to use an excuse, maybe Chris was trying to find a way to escape me and he just used my leave to the ladies room as a perfect time to escape and didn't want to hurt my feelings.

"As if I have any feelings left to hurt," I mumbled to myself as I pull out my car keys from my pocket. I stood there for a moment, trying to decide if I was alright to drive. I did feel pretty drunk, but I wasn't slurring or anything and I could still walk straight or at least it felt like I could. I reach out for the door handle of my car and suddenly a hand closes over mine, his soft suede wrist bands feeling so smooth against my wrist.

"Where are you going?" His voice soft and low coming from behind me.

"Away, before I get too drunk to drive," I reply, not wanting to explain any more than that.

"Do you have a place to stay?" He asks.

"I'm just going to sleep it off in my car," I say still not turning around.

"Well that's not fun," He says lower and sexier as he moved closer behind me.

"This place apparently doesn't have any accommodations, so the back seat of my car is better than nothing,"

"It can be, but really, you just have to know where to look," He says so slyly that I could feel chills running up and down my spine. I turn to face him and lean my back against my car, his gorgeous blue eyes flick over my body again stopping for a moment at my cleavage again, then back to my eyes.

"Chris, I'm not one of your groupie chicks looking for a quick fuck," I sigh flipping my curls out of my face.

"I never thought you were," He says moving even closer and I could feel the heat radiating from his body as he leans himself against the car, his arms on either side of me.

"Fuck, me," I sigh in frustration with myself as I look away from him, my dark curls falling in my face again.

"Only if you want me to," He says playfully, trying to catch my eyes again. I glance back at him, finding that our lips were now dangerously close and I lean back a little more trying my hardest to resist him.

"You don't want this?" He asks, his eyebrows raised with a look of worry for some reason. I couldn't tell if it was worry for me or something else entirely.

"I honestly have no fucking clue," I exhale.

"I know... that's why you're running"

"How did you...?" I started but he glances at the cut above my brow and I couldn't bring myself to finish the question. He reaches up touching the cut just above my brow, gently tracing along the line, brushing a curl that had strewn across my face from the wind that had started to pick up a bit. I look down at myself suddenly feeling self conscious as he steps back from me for a moment, touching his beard and giving another glance over.

"Andi... just look around, there's no one here... we can both just forget about who we are... have a little fun..." Chris says gesturing around the parking lot. I look out towards the road for a moment, then look passed him towards the bar door and he was right. There was no one here, other than his band mates and I'm pretty sure they could give two fucks about what anyone was doing right now. I shook my keys in my hand trying to think but nothing was coming to this drunken head of mine.

"Where...?" I flick my eyes back up to his and the slyest smirk spreads across those beautiful lips of his.

"Let me drive and I'll show ya," He raises his eyebrow at me. At first I thought maybe he just wanted to drive my car and maybe that's true but also maybe it's better that he drives just in case. I hold out my car keys to him, dangling them from my fingers and he reaches out and takes them from me.

"Be careful, she's my baby," I warn raising my eyebrow back at him and I walk around to the passenger side feeling his eyes watch me as he steps up to the driver's side and we both climb in my car. It felt a little strange that I was letting him drive my car but for some reason I trusted him. I mean yea, this is Chris Cornell here but I still don't know him from a hole in the wall. He starts the engine and she comes to life and he reaches down to shift into gear as Pantera blasts through the speakers.

"A whiskey girl who also drives stick..." He says glancing over at me continuing his flirtatious demeanor.

"And listens to Pantera... told ya I'm not like most chicks," I flirt right back, regaining my confidence in doing so.

We pull out of the parking lot and he revs the engine a bit. I take it that he's always wanted to drive a '69 Dodge Charger and I can't say that I blame him. Like I said, she's my baby. We drive a little bit down the highway, the sound of the engine filling our ears as 'Domination' starts up through the stereo. I reach over and open up the glove compartment, pull out a pack of smokes and light one up. Chris glances at me as I take a drag, and exhaling as I pass it over to him. He raises his eyebrow at me again and without taking his hands off the wheel, he leans in taking the cigarette from me with his lips, squinting his eyes from the rising smoke. I watch him for a few moments as he puffs on the cigarette, then I take it from his lips and take another drag, squinting my eyes from the smoke.

"You gonna tell me how you got that cut on your eyebrow?" Chris asks as he looks out the windshield, exhaling the smoke from the cigarette.

"I thought we were forgetting about who we are," I say exhaling the smoke, with the cigarette still between my lips, lifting my leg to loosen the lace of my boot. Chris glances over at me giving me a long look at my thighs and then wondering over my chest again as I flip my curls out of my face. He smirks at me taking the cigarette from my lips, taking a drag for himself and turns his attention back to the road.

We eventually come up to a spot where there were a few vehicles parked, a large Volkswagen van and a couple of tents set up. It looked like they were just recently filming here earlier today. Chris pulls up to the van and cuts the engine.

"Is this where your staying?" I ask gesturing to the Volkswagen van.

"Just 'til tomorrow, then it's back to Seattle," He says glancing over at me taking the last drag of the cigarette and tossing it out the car window. I open my car door and step outside as he watches me and I close the door. He then steps out of the car himself, closing the door, handing me my keys and flipping his beautiful curls out of his face. He then makes his way over to the van door and opens it.

"After you," He says turning back to me and holding the door. I flash him a smirk, step inside, finding a spot on his makeshift bed and was immediately over taken by the heat and stuffiness inside.

"Here," He says and reaches up to pull open the window vent and the air started circulating immediately. He grabbed a small lamp and hung it from the ceiling instantly making the van look a little more intimate, then returned to sit across from me.

"So, what do you think?" He says.

"Not bad, better than my set up for the night," I say as I glance over his body again, his shirt still open revealing that perfectly toned chest and those abs that drove every girl crazy.

There was a brief awkward moment and I think he could sense it. My buzz was certainly starting to wear off and I could feel my courage waning.

"Hey Andi, we don't have to do - "

"No, no... I want to but uh... you got a drink, or something?" I cut him off though I didn't mean to but I got this far and I don't want to turn back now.

"Uh yea," He says looking around the van for a moment, finding the cooler and pulling out a small bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrews the cap and takes a sip then hands me the bottle. He watches me as I take a small sip at first, then a longer drink, closing my eyes and relishing in the beautiful burn that trickles down my throat. Once I finished my sip, I hand the bottle back to him and he takes another sip for himself, offers the bottle back to me again but I decline.

"No I'm good, I want to remember at least something about tonight," I say as he caps the Jack Daniels bottle and sets it down on the cooler.

"Trust me, I won't let you forget," He says low and so lustfully, flipping his curls out of his face as his eyes flick over my body again. He moves closer to me placing his hands on my hips but I stop him.

"Wait... I wanna see you first," I say, not meaning to be so bold but I couldn't help it. My buzz was coming back and damn his body was driving me crazy.

"Uh huh... alright, I'll show you mine if you show me yours," He says so slyly.

"Deal... you first though," I smirk and he chuckles.

"How 'bout some music?" He raises his eyebrow at me and for some reason I get the feeling like he was trying to stall. I shrug and he moves into a crouch reaching into the front and suddenly his voice started coming out through the stereo.

"Fuck no, not me," He laughs and changes it to something else. Black Sabbath's Sweet Leaf. Perfect for the mood.

"Master of Reality?" I ask.

"Yea," He smiles at me as he returns to sitting cross legged across from me.

"Shirt," I gesture to him after a few moments of him glancing over my body again.

"Right," He chuckles looking down at himself for a moment, then takes off his button up shirt, his curls spilling across his chest as he tosses the shirt aside. Feeling bold from the drink of whiskey, I move into a kneeling position, reaching over and touching his chest, feeling every toned muscle and the smoothness of his skin. Fuck he's gorgeous. I move my hands over his shoulders and down his biceps admiring how his freckles show with his fresh tan from earlier today. He then looks up at me with that look of hunger.

"Now you," Chris says with his blue eyes gleaming at me. I smirk remembering our deal and move my hands to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up over my head, revealing my black lacy push up bra to him as my dark curls fall down around my shoulders while I toss my shirt aside.

"Eh hmmm," He clears his throat gesturing for me to take off my bra. I take the hint... since he was completely shirtless, I should be too. I teasingly unclasp my bra, freeing my breasts before him and tossing it aside with my shirt.

"Jeezus," He exhales and bites his bottom lip as his hands move to my hips , his fingers trailing up my sides, his calloused fingers skipping over my pale skin, his thumbs softly caressing the sides of my breasts.

"Hard or soft?" He asks, his eyes lingering at my breasts, then wandering down.

"Hard. God, make it hard," I sigh. He chuckles as his eyes find mine again and with that, he flips me over so that he was on top of me, his lips immediately making contact with my neck while his hands scrambled to unbuckle my belt. I thought maybe of just suggesting that he just lift up my skirt instead, but he was able to finally unbuckle me, pulling it down over my hips, tossing it aside with the rest of my clothes. Soon enough we were both completely undressed, though he still kept those suede wrist bands on, and sat up for a moment to gaze at me.

"Damn," He whispers as I push a few curls out of my eyes.

"I could just eat you right now," He says as his eyes flick over my body again and I blush. It has been a long time since anyone gave me a compliment like that.

I open my legs flicking my eyes to his, and bite my bottom lip .

"Yea, exactly," He growls, flipping his curls and positioning himself, wasting no time in getting to work. As soon as his lips touched me I swear I wanted to scream. My clit was alive and throbbing even before his lips touched me but once his tongue went to work, I knew I was not going to last very long, but I can still go again.

His tongue flicks while his lips suck and I swear to god, it feels as if he is pulling the very soul right out of my body. His hands move to spread my legs farther open for him and I thought I was about to lose it. He is determined and so am I and never once did he let up, not even for a second.

Reaching up, threading my fingers through my own curls, gripping at my roots I start to pant, whimpering and moaning beneath him. My other hand goes for his hair, entwining my fingers through his curls encouraging him to continue sucking and flicking my clit. Once his fingers entered me, it was over.

"Jeezus fuck, Chris.. I'm gonna fucking cum," I whine, not even recognizing my own voice and he still never once let up. He moans against me, still sucking my clit for all it is worth and that is all the encouragement I need to finally let go. The wave of incredible orgasm took over my entire body, edging me once again and tipping over immediately after the first one. I whimper and groan a string of profanities that even a sailor would blush at.

When he finally lifts his head from between my legs, wiping his chin with his palm, his expression displaying that he is quite pleased with himself, I continue to pant trying to come down from my high and get my bearings again.

"Sounded like you needed that," He says.

"Uh huh," I pant.

"That better not be all you got tonight," He says as he sits up to look at me.

"Uh uh... trust me I still got... a lot left in me... are you sure you can handle it though?" I tease in between my panting.

"After a performance like that, how could I not?" He smiles that devilish grin, flipping his curls out of his face once again.

"Prove it," I smirk batting my brown eyes at him. He bites his bottom lip and in one swift movement, he flips me over so that I was on my stomach and I giggle as I lift myself up on all fours. His hands grab my hips and he pulls me pack to him as he positions himself behind me.

"Hard remember?" I remind him as I glance back at him for a moment. His hand smacks my butt cheek which made me yelp in surprise and I start to giggle again.

He leans over me, his one hand still gripping my hip, his other moving to my hair entwining his fingers through and giving me a tug, pulling my head back as I gasp feeling completely turned on by his actions right now.

"Trust me I haven't forgotten," He purrs in my ear, his voice filled with lust and determination, his breath hot as his lips brush my earlobe, then moves to the spot just under my earlobe and bites, sending a wave of shivers all over my body. Then wasting no time once again, he inserts himself inside me.

"Oh, fuck," I cry out in surprise, as I knew it was coming but I didn't realize just how big he really was. Thank god he was gentle going in otherwise I would've stopped him.

"You alright?" He asks stopping for a moment.

"Yes... fuck, don't stop," I pant. I appreciated the fact that he was concerned for a moment but I'm not interested in niceties right now. He begins to move again and the feeling of him inside me completely filling me up is a feeling that I never knew I could have again.

"I said hard Chris," I instruct. He starts to thrust harder with more determination and tugs my curls once more. I start to whimper relishing in the length and fullness of him inside me. He bucks his hips against me and I respond, pushing back, moaning and panting. Then for some reason he moves his hand from my hip, moving up my side and around to my front pulling me up into a seated position with him still behind me. My curls fall down around me, falling across my face and he takes his one hand, brushing them off my shoulder, revealing that spot just under my earlobe again and presses his lips, softly brushing and kissing all along down to my shoulder.

It's starting to feel like he's trying to be gentle again and I don't want gentle.

"Chris stop," I say quickly.

"Huh?" He pants.

"Just... stop for a minute," I say moving off of him.

"You alright..? Did I hurt you?" He asks furrowing his brow at me and panting. I turn around to face him, flipping my curls out of my face.

"No, no you didn't hurt me," I pant trying to catch my breath. He studies me for a couple of moments as he tries to catch his breath.

"Just... um... can I be on top?" I look away from him for a moment and then flick my eyes back to him. I could feel that awkward moment creeping back in the van and I just wanted to get rid of it as fast as it appeared.

"Absolutely," He flashes me that devilish grin and moves to lay himself down on his back beside me, raising his arms and clasping his fingers together behind his head. My eyes wonder all over his body glancing at those perfect pecks and further still noticing he hasn't lost his arousal one bit.

I climb up on top of him as gracefully as I can, placing my hand around his shaft, finally getting a good look at just how large he really is which makes my heart beat a bit faster and I give him a squeeze in my hand.

"Damn," Was all he could get out before his eyes fluttered shut tilting his head back and biting his bottom lip. I worked him a little bit, pumping my hand up and down, earning moans of encouragement from him as a tiny bit of pre-cum released from him.

"You ready?" I ask.

"I have been for a while now," He breathes. With that I move to position myself, straddling him and guiding him inside me as best I can.

"Oh, fuck," He exhales as I start to move, placing my hands on his chest to steady myself. I arch my back rocking my hips against him, making sure to feel every inch of him inside me. I close my eyes and throw my head back as he reaches to grip my hips to help guide me.

"Oh god, yes... make me forget," I moan as he starts to buck his hips again.

"I'm not going to let you forget this... not one single... second... of... this," He pants in between each hard thrust and he suddenly flips me over so that I was now underneath him. I wrap my legs around him as tight as I can, moving my hands to his beautiful curls again threading my fingers through as he buries his face in my neck, biting in the most perfect way possible. I grind my hips against him, whimpering and moaning, feeling that pressure building up inside me. My fingers release from his hair, moving to his back and I find myself clawing and digging my fingers up and down as hard as I can.

"Fuck... I'm so fucking close," I whine.

"No, wait... not yet," Chris pleads and I respond by tightening my muscles around him.

"Ah, fuck..." He flicks his eyes open and looks at me.

"Protected?"

"Yes, go for it," I moan as he looks into my eyes. A few hard final thrusts and he was crying out just like he does in so many of his songs and in doing so, I release all of the hurt and pain I've endured, matching his orgasm with my own and forgetting just for a little while.

"Jeezus," I exhale as he lifts his head from my shoulder to look at me, placing his hands on either side of my face, brushing the stray curls out of my eyes. I study his eyes as he seems to not want to break his gaze from me at all and we lay there together not saying one word. The rumbling of thunder off in the distance, and Black Sabbath's Into The Void finally coming to an end signals to me that something more than just a fuck happened in this van, whether I care to admit it or not.

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#chris cornell #soundgarden #chris cornell fanfiction #soundgarden fanfiction #grunge #grunge fanfiction

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splat-dragon · 4 years

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“Why-” why what? Even Lem didn’t know. Why was she singing? Why hadn’t she kicked him out? Why had she been so touchy? Why had she tried to teach him to play? There were a lot of why’s there though, knowing Evan, he was almost certain he wouldn’t get an answer.

And he was right. She simply give him a grin that stopped him, more sincere than he’d ever gotten from her before, a soft one that eased the fierceness of those green eyes of her’s, and stood, taking the guitar after his hands, patting his shoulder as she passed him by, leaving the guitar leaning against the wall as she left.

The versions of the songs I wrote this to were: Chase Eagleson's cover of Fly Me to the Moon which can be watched her Sean Reaves' cover of Can't Help Falling in Love which can be watched here and Annapatsu's cover of Remember Me which can be watched here

Don't let it make you cry Recuérdame ~Remember Me, Gael García Bernal

They’d closed the speakeasy down for the day, and it was finally quiet.

That wasn’t to say that Lem didn’t like the speakeasy—when it was open he’d sometimes go down for a drink, sit and watch the band that Evan had paid for, play bouncer in case someone got a bit too drunk and rowdy (thankfully, though, Evan always stepped in before folk got out of hand, because people tended not to take him seriously), and even when he wasn’t, he was often helping Marcel with the shine or upstairs with his Aunt Maggie, so the noise didn’t bother him.

But sometimes, every once in a while, some quiet was nice.

Aunt Maggie had gone off somewhere—she’d told him she was heading to Keane’s Saloon to broker a better deal, but he’d eat his hat if he wouldn’t find her with Cripps, and Marcel was off trying to find some ingredients that he’d sworn up and down would make the shine even more ‘magnifique’ than usual, as the man had put it. So it was just him at the shack, and he was taking the time to do absolutely nothing, just sit on his ass, kick back and relax without Aunt Maggie yanking at his ear to get him back to working.

But maybe it wasn’t his best idea—as they always seemed to lately, despite his best efforts, his thoughts went quickly to their benefactor, the woman that had rescued him, saved his life more than once, that was funding their operations and doing all the grunt work, was more or less family.

She called herself Evan, though knowing the sort of people his Aunt tended to attract, he’d wager it was fifty-fifty that that wasn’t her real name or, at least, the one her parents had given her. And she wasn’t what most would call attractive, with wild black hair that never laid flat despite her attempts at a ponytail or braid, scars nicking here and there on her face and, he was sure, all over her skin beneath her clothing. Her green eyes, he knew, would have been a ‘marketable feature’ on a bride, if they weren’t half so hard, wolfish in their way, and though he’d known her for the better part of a year he still couldn’t meet her gaze without feeling like he was staring into something wild and untamed, something he should be meeting out in the depths of the woods, moments before having his throat torn out, not standing in the midst of a bunch of drunkards in his Aunt’s basement. Beneath them, always, his eyes were drawn to that scar that gleamed on her cheek, raw, vein-like and painful-looking though it was several months healed. It was entirely his fault—he’d lost his temper and exploded a great deal of flammable moonshine, and she’d paid the price. The scar, he knew, stretched deep beneath her clothes, and would never quite heal, and he could only thank a god he wasn’t sure he believed in that she hadn’t landed that bit further into the flames, that her eye hadn’t paid the price for his foolishness.

He’d been interested by her since she’d saved him, putting down seemingly endless amounts of Revenue Agents as though they were little more than squirrels that she were taking pot shots off of her porch at, before protecting him all the way from half way across New Hanover to the Grizzlies, shooting easily from her horse’s back despite having him in her way. But over time he’d found himself a bit too interested in her, sniffing along at her heels during deliveries, and found himself so obvious after she’d fought off an entire train of them when his ingredient delivery had gone incredibly wrong that Aunt Maggie had started poking fun at him.

Thankfully, Evan hadn’t seemed to realize or, at least, she’d taken pity on him enough to spare him the shame of being turned down. After all, she was an outlaw through and through, putting down so many Revenue Agents that he hadn’t the faintest clue how they still had any left, destroying their wagon stops when she was out and about, managing to slaughter dozens despite smoke hiding them and making her eyes water and being half dead after being blown off her feet. Why would she want someone such as him?

He sighed, stretching out on his bed, only to freeze when he heard… something.

Something that definitely shouldn’t have been there.

He was alone in the cabin, he was sure of that. Evan had been talking about getting a cat to take care of the rats that got in sometimes, though talking wasn’t the right word for it, she sketched on her journal (he was fairly certain she was illiterate, actually), but as of yet she hadn’t brought one back. And if Aunt Maggie or Marcel had come back he definitely would have heard them.

Though some might think otherwise, the life of a Moonshiner is not a ‘safe’ or ‘easy’ one. Even if you stay near your still, away from the Revenue stops, and didn’t go out on deliveries, you still were at risk of being blown up by a malfunctioning still, or being attacked by a competitor. He’d lost count of the number of times his Aunt Maggie had sent Evan out to blow up a still, or poison it, and though theirs was in their basement and, thus, harder to get to, it wouldn’t be completely out of the realm of possibility for someone to try and break in to poison their shine, or blow their still up, or even just blow up their shack altogether.

So, his heart leaping in his ears, he grabbed his pistol that he kept under his pillow, and climbed out of bed as quietly as he could. Creeping to the stairs, and then down them, was nerve wracking, as he didn’t find anyone on the top floor, and the sound seemed to be coming from downstairs—the still? With his gun drawn, he used it to open the door that led to the cooking room, only to find it empty, but the sound became much, much clearer, and he realized, suddenly, that it came from the speakeasy.

As quietly as he could, their shack was fairly old and prone to creaking so it wasn’t very, he slunk towards the door, clutching his gun, though he was starting to think that it was some drunk that had been passed out somewhere while they were clearing it out—then again, Aunt Maggie wasn’t one to miss folk, no matter where they hid, and drunkards weren’t the best at hiding.

“You are all I long for, all I worship and adore,”

He froze, paused and pressed his hand against the wall—what kinda fool broke in and started singing? That didn’t sound like any of their patrons, wasn’t slurred as though drunk,

“In other words, please be true,”

Female, definitely female, and they didn’t have many female patrons, well, at least, didn’t have many that talked or drank. They often came with their husbands, their partners, but seldom drank or talked. So he doubted it was one of them that had hidden and stayed to… what, to sing?

“In other words, in other words,”

Oh, wait, he knew that guitar! Evan had even put out the money to hire a band for the speakeasy, drawing in far more patrons than they could ever have imagined, and that was definitely their guitar. It had a particular twang, a slight flatness—he was positive that was their guitar, he’d been made to listen to it near constantly since she’d hired the band.

“Iiii loooove… You.”

They weren’t half bad, actually. Strange, in a way, with a raspy voice, though not in the way of a smoker’s. Rather low, at least for a woman’s, and breathy, but not bad. And he was curious, and still wary (he was a Fike, after all), so slowly and carefully he slipped his head into the room, and you could have knocked him over with a feather.

Fingers he’d only ever seen clad in gloves, tensed around horse reins or clenching on a gun’s trigger were flying easily across the strings of a guitar, face usually tensed with stress or concern or anger smooth and relaxed, eyes closed as she crooned, though he could have sworn he saw a flash of green but she didn’t react so surely he imagined it? An outlaw, a gunslinger, a moonshiner and bounty hunter she would never have sat idly by while someone stared her down, gun in hand,

“Wise men say only fools rush in,”

And oh, he’d never heard her speak before, had never thought her capable of it. Next month would mark a year since he’d been freed, since Aunt Maggie re-established her business, since he’d met Evan, and in that time she’d yet to hear a single word pass her lips.

“But I can't help falling in love with you,”

Though, perhaps, he should have known better. He’d heard her ‘yah!’ her horse, heard her scream when the fire crept up her face, heard her bark a startled laugh when he’d said ‘Pow! Pow! Pow!’ so was it so surprising that she could speak?

“Oh, shall I stay, would it be a sin,”

Why, though, would she choose not to? Even if she hadn’t felt comfortable speaking around them in the beginning, only nodding and sighing and gesturing, surely, surely, she should have grown comfortable over time? The thing was, she had, he could tell. In the beginning, she’d come and gone, stopped in long enough to put money down for Aunt Maggie and scribble down what it was to be spent down, pick up a delivery or drop off the ingredients, or for Aunt Maggie to tell her where she needed to go.

“Oh, if I can't help falling in love with you?”

But, slowly, she’d stayed more and more. Plopped down at the far chair of the table, back to the wall and eyes to the door, gulping down hard-tack or whatever canned food she had with her, looking as uneasy as any wolf would be if it were in a building.

“Like a river flows, surely to the sea,”

Over time, she’d stopped eating so fast, only noticeable if you were paying attention, and then one day she’d finished her hard-tack and, then, after a moment of intense thought, kicked her booted feet up onto the table, crossed her arms over her chest, and dropped her chin. It had looked as though she were dozing, but he’d caught her watching him and Aunt Maggie scrutinizingly from beneath the brim of her Rexroad hat.

“Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

As it were, however they’d acted while she’d done so seemed to pass some sort of muster, as she’d walked in the next day, shrugged off her coat and slung it over her usual chair before sitting down, hat low over her head, as she ate slowly, sipping at a can of peaches while sketching in a journal. What she was doing, he didn’t know, but her face had been awfully serious while she was doing so and so it must have been something important.

When she was done, she had tucked the journal away, swung her feet up onto the table and, plopping her hat down and tugging the brim low over her eyes, taken a nap before riding back out.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too,”

It had started snowing one day while she was inside, a small snowfall that turned into an all-out blizzard. Even inside, with walls that she, Lem, and Marcel had worked to repair and insulate, it had been freezing, cold enough that they’d worked to move the beds down into the cook-room, huddled up in what blankets they could dig out, every jacket they had tugged around themselves.

She’d had no choice but to go out and stable her mare, tuck it away with Marcel and Maggie’s, though her face had said she clearly wasn’t much happy about it. That done, she’d dragged her bedroll down with them, stretching out on the opposite of the room, as far from them as she could get, back to the wall, facing them and the door.

“Oh, for I can't help falling in love with you.”

He’d been dozing off perhaps an hour later, woken every time Marcel got up to fuss with the shine that was cooking, when he’d looked over and thought that she’d left. It had taken him a moment to realize that the mound of fabric was her back, and that she’d willingly turned her back to them, to the door, trusting them to protect her and wake her if something happened as she slept.

“Oh, like a river flows, surely to the sea,”

After that, she’d taken to sleeping at the shack, and they’d stopped having to worry that their best employee was going to lose life or limb to frostbite. He’d been startled the first time he walked in to find a bedroll tucked up in the corner of the shack, not far from ‘her’ chair, and it wasn’t long after that that she’d taken to keeping a coat in the coat closet along with them so she’d have something to wear while she dried her other near the cooking fire, almost always soaked with the drizzle that haunted the Grizzlies.

They’d have given her a room, really, but he and Aunt Maggie were sharing a room and Marcel was already sleeping in the cooking room so they really couldn’t.

“Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

He’d tried to offer her the bed, once or twice, when Aunt Maggie was out, but she’d given him a long stare, then a ticked eyebrow and a shake of her head, pointing at her bedroll. ‘I have this,’ she was saying, and while he had tried to argue that a bed was more comfortable, she had shook her head and gestured at it more emphatically, ‘This is fine,’ and he had learned long ago not to argue with her, and there was always that underlying fear of crossing some invisible line and losing what trust had been built with her, so he’d laid down on the bed, though it creaked and groaned beneath him it was a bed and infinitely more comfortable than a bedroll and he couldn’t imagine why she would prefer a bedroll.

But it was her prerogative, and he refused to risk upsetting her and losing her trust. He liked to think they were friends, or close to it, and in his sort of life you didn’t have many friends, if any, and he’d wager that she didn’t have many, either, so why hurt them both?

“Oh, take my hand, take my whole life too,”

Though he wasn’t sure if she actually did consider him a friend. After all, their entire relationship at this point, if it could even be called that, was her saving him and him nearly getting her killed in return. She’d broken him out of a prison wagon and brought him home, but not without nearly being shot down by several squads of lawmen and Revenue Agents. Had had to save his ass after he’d hired untrustworthy folk and left them to make a getaway on a boat of all things, shooting down nearly an entire train full of Agents, and leaving her shot several times over in return. He’d even nearly killed her himself, he thought ruefully, the burn scars that gleamed and stretched and gnarled her mouth as she sang painful proof of that, losing his temper and setting off explosives that she had put down for him, and then been shot several times on top of that while he’d cut and run.

“For I can't help falling in love with you,”

So if she considered him little more than a liability, just a hanger-on that she had to put up with on account of working with his Aunt, well, he wouldn’t blame her in the least. It was the truth, after all, and if that wasn’t bad enough he was a liability what had gone and caught feelings for her.

“Oh, for I can't help falling in love with you.”

With that rather depressing thought, he moved to holster his gun and step back, remembering only when his hand flailed awkwardly that he was still in his sleep pants and, thus, had no holster, heart turning to stone in his chest at a quiet laugh.

Feeling as though he were looking into the eyes of his killer, he raised his head, coming blue-to-green, “I’m so-,” but she snorted, and patted the ground in front of her, the ghost of an amused grin on her face, and he could do little more than obey, wondering if this was how a man felt as he were being walked to the gallows, and came to a stop in front of her, “I-I,” but she reached up and grabbed his wrist, tugging him until he knelt, then sat, pushing his shoulder until he was sitting cross legged with his back to her.

“Evan?” he asked, “I didn’t mean to watch you, I heard a no-noise and,” but she shut him up, slipping the gun out of his hand and setting it aside, and he allowed it, frozen as she rearranged herself behind him, kneeling to bracket his hips with her knees, accepting her guitar with a “What?” incredibly aware of her as she leaned against him, reaching around to adjust his grip on it, and then it clicked and “N-no I can’t play!” but she simply made a sound that could have been a ‘hmph’ or a breathy laugh.

Seemingly satisfied, she draped herself over his shoulder like a harlot, and he prayed she couldn’t see his heart racing in his chest, his pulse thrumming in his throat, he’d never known her to act like this before and would have thought her drunk but she didn’t smell of shine or any sort of alcohol, and as she was in his peripheral he couldn’t make out the red that tinted the shell of her ears.

Carefully, she adjusted her hands until they were atop his, fingers matching until it was though he were wearing a strange set of gloves, and began to move her right, nudging his along, in a strumming motion. He moved with her, though clumsily and hesitant, the sound discordant, and she nodded, “Mmhm,” repeating the motion over and over until he was moving almost in sync with her, before shifting to his left hand and beginning to do the same, and oh but that was a mess.

It was much more involved, his fingers having to move and press on things, but she was patient, just ‘hmph’-ed when he got it wrong and made him do it again, and before long she removed her hands and sat back after clapping them on his shoulders as a way of saying ‘good job’, and when he turned to grin at her he hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

She sat back on her heels, and he felt incredibly scrutinized even as he took her in—she wore little more than jeans and a too-big plaid blue shirt with her boots; he’d never seen her so undressed before. Even still, he knew she could have him dead in the ground in a heartbeat if he so much as breathed her way funny.

Seeming to decide something, she nodded, leaning forward and pushing on his shoulder, so he turned back around, picking the guitar back up when she pushed it into his hands. “I don’t know an-” but she harrumph-ed and splayed herself over his shoulder again, and he had the thought of some over-sized cat stretching over her lady’s shoulder though Evan was in no way tame enough to be a mere cat, maybe a wildcat, and he tried not to laugh at the image, it damn well fit her!

She began to strum his fingers for him, and he fumbled to keep up—it was some song, not very pretty with how unpracticed his fingers were, but she was managing to pull a song out of him yet, and then she began to sing, and for a moment he thought she was merely speaking and startled,

“Remember me,”

she inhaled, strummed his fingers carefully,

“Though I have to say goodbye, remember me,”

and oh, she was singing,

“Don’t let it make you cry.”

He’d never heard the song before, it wasn’t the kind of song performed in a speakeasy, or a saloon for that matter. Lem’s fingers fumbled, and she slowed her singing and the movements of her own fingers to account for his newness, hummed and leaned over him to help move his fingers along the strings,

“For even if I’m far away, I hold you in my heart,”

Surely it was a camp song? The sort of song an outlaw, a gunslinger, sang to his child, before heading out to work? Or a cowboy, for that matter, and he wondered if it was something she’d been taught by her own family. It wasn’t something he thought about often, just like you don’t think about your own family’s family. He didn’t think about Evan as a child just like he didn’t think about his Aunt Maggie as a child, it always seemed as though they sprung, fully formed, as he knew them, from the ground, and picturing them young and innocent and helpless was a foreign, alien thing.

“I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart…”

This wasn’t his sort of song or, at least, he’d never have thought it was. He’d grown up with the bawdy, raucous speakeasy music, and it was all he’d known. Lem hadn’t thought he’d care for more slow music, quiet and crooning, but with her voice crooning in his ear, so close he could feel her chest vibrating against his back, he was finding he was quick to prefer it.

“Remember me, though I have to travel far,”

How could a song bring him so many questions?

He knew, some, of what Evan did when she wasn’t at the shack, wasn't doing work for his Aunt. Knew she ran bounties, knew she hunted and ran deliveries for Cripps, and that she collected things to sell. But where did she go? Did she stay around the Grizzlies? Or did she go down to Lemoyne? Or was that only when she was needed to for work? The thought of her disappearing, never turning up again and never knowing if she’d ended up dead, in the stomach of a gator or the jaws of a wolf, was terrifying, and his fingers stumbled on the frets.

“Remember me, each time you hear a sad guitar,”

She slowed her singing and the strumming as she realigned his fingers, getting him used to the motions again, before slowly picking up the speed and starting to sing,

“Know that I’m with you, the only way that I can be.”

This was… nice, he had to admit, relaxing into the motions. His fingers kept tripping over each other, but she easily corrected him, slipping his fingers where they belonged and, though the sound they produced wasn’t exactly nice , it was recognizable as music.

It sounded like the song was starting to end, but he didn’t want it to end, so he remained where he sat, and she hesitated before continuing to guide his hands in strumming and plucking, before crooning with the same rhythm and tone as before,

“Recuérdame, si en tu mente viva estoy,”

And since when did she speak Spanish? He’d never known that about her, and it was easy to forget that he knew very little about her. Didn’t know how old she was, where she lived if she actually lived somewhere, if she had a family, hell, he hadn’t even known she could talk! But the Spanish in his ear was soothing, was nice, and he found himself relaxing enough that she had to prod his fingers to remind him to move them, and from the way she huffed it was obvious that he’d gone as red as he felt.

“Recuérdame, mis sueños yo te doy,”

Christ, but he hoped she didn’t feel how he shivered, the Spanish ghosting against his ear affecting him far too much. Her voice was nice, though odd, pitching up higher than it had been when she was singing in English, but still just as raspy and breathy, and by then she’d gotten close enough to him that he could feel each breath caressing his ear.

This was a bad idea.

“Te llevo en mi corazón, Y te acompañaré, unidas en nuestra canción, contigo ahi estaré.”

He wanted to ask her what it meant, what she was singing. Why she’d chosen that song, or if there was even a reason, or if she’d just chosen it because the guitar part was easier than the other songs she knew (though that wasn’t saying much, he was still having a hard time even with her fingers guiding his and going at a pace he thought was slow even for that song) but considering she’d yet to say a word despite him knowing that she could, in fact, speak he thought his chances of getting an answer were not good.

“Recuérdame, si sola crees estar, recuérdame, y mi cantar te irá a abrazar,”

How had this happened?

How in all hell had he gone from intending on shooting an intruder to more or less sitting in her lap, reclining against her chest with her hands on his, her breath ghosting over the shell of his ear, knees cradling his hips. Not that he was complaining of course, but he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening, that this wasn’t a dream.

Things like this don’t happen to him.

“Aun en la distancia, nunca vayas a olvidar. Que yo contigo siempre voy, recuérdame.”

She released his hands, and he fumbled, but continued playing—it was a rhythm, the same fingering, over and over again, and though he stumbled and sounded even worse than before he managed to do so, and the grin he could feel against the side of his face from where she’d leaned forward to watch him made it worth it. He nearly dropped the guitar when she hesitantly wrapped her arms around his shoulders to help her keep his balance, so tense against him it felt almost as though she’d release and go bouncing across the room if he so much as breathed wrong.

“For I will soon be gone, remember me,”

The sudden switch back to English startled him, and he fumbled the guitar, catching it before she could let go of him to save it, struggling to find where he’d let off as she huffed a laugh in his ear, chest vibrating against his back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much human contact, so much physical contact period, and he’d never known her to care for it either. Lem had only ever known pats on the back or the shoulder, the glance of her gloves against his fingers as he passed things to her. He’d seen her love up her horses, of course, but never seen her willingly touch a human more than she had to.

Of course, he wasn’t complaining. Still, though, he wondered what had made her act so odd.

“And let the love we have live on. Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be,”

Her voice had become raspier, tired, as though singing so much had worn it out, and he wondered if that was why she didn’t talk so much or if it was because she didn’t talk, if talking so little made her voice sound so worn out, becoming more strained as she used it, the opposite of a wagon wheel, where a wagon wheel loosened up after working her voice did the opposite. Or if she didn’t talk as much because her voice became fatigued when she did so?

“Until you're in my arms again… remember me.”

Her voice hung for a long moment in the air as she slowly removed her hands from his shoulders, giving them a squeeze and allowing her head to press between his shoulder blades before sitting back on her heels. Lem sat for a long moment, the silence so thick as to be able to be cut with a knife, wondering if she would start another song, but only their breathing filled the air, so he kept a careful grip on the guitar as he turned the face her, unable to make out the expression on her face, an odd twist to her lips, her eyes hazy.

When Evan left the shack that night, she never came back.

Cripps came by a few weeks later, asking after her, and thought she’d been working with them. They’d thought the same.

For even if I'm far away

I hold you in my heart

Months passed, and she never came back. A bounty hunter that she’d worked under sought them out, and a fortune teller, too, all sniffing after her, and all never having seen her after she’d walked out of their shack.

Lem had been the last one to see her, and some of them didn’t believe him. And why would they? Evan wasn’t one to talk, much less to sing. So he started to change his story, saying that they’d shared a drink down in the speakeasy, and that was that.

Besides, it had always felt intimate, like something special, and even telling Aunt Maggie when she’d come to him had felt like he was betraying Evan, like he was breaking some unspoken promise.

Remember me

Each time you hear a sad guitar

Life went on. It had to. Evan had gotten their foot back in the door, and he continued making deliveries, had to quickly fill her shoes and clear out the Revenue Agent’s wagon stops, build relationships with their buyers, sabotage other stills. He still caught Aunt Maggie looking startled when it was he and not her that came in the door, caught Marcel going to call him patronne only to catch himself and call him patron, and even caught himself looking for her when fights broke out in the speakeasy.

But life went on.

Remember me

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