#Thank You Mayor Pete

[originalleftist]

This is what happens when you elect Democrats- no talking points lifted from the Third Reich, no constant whining and lying on Xitter, no coup attempts.

Just steady, competent governance that no, may not fix everything all at once, but does keep the country running while making life meaningfully and measurably better for the working class.

[ace7librarian]

Hatchetfield Jewish headcanons!

Based on surnames and some unrelated headcanons.

*After Jane died, Tom really wanted to keep the Jewish traditions for Tim, but he had zero clue what to do, so he called Emma. She also had no idea what to do, but she tried her best.

*Ruth and Richie make fun of Pete for being the only goy in the squad. Everyone just assume he's Jewish, and that makes him really confused. Also, Ruth unironically ships Tanakh characters.

*Shapiro has a Jewish dad and a Catholic mom, so she got the Jewish surname and the Catholicism. She breaks the glass in her and miss mullberry's wedding. Miss mullberry is also Jewish.

*at one timeline Steph finds Solomon with the black book or something and blames him for encouraging the stereotype that Jews worship Satan.

*Dan Reynolds is Jewish. I have no reason for this.

*the following conversation happened at some point.

Emma: and I'm not going to let some republican, Christian old man-

Bob Metzger, offended: Christian????

Emma: ....

Bob: there's ONE synagogue. How did you never see me there???

Emma: I was smoking outside???

Bob: we're a big family! My grandchildren were outside! Our last name is Metzger!!

Emma: ....sorry. A republican old man.

Bob: there you go.

*Karen Chasity is very upset about having Solomon lauter as a mayor. Sam sweetly as well. I just know these two would want a Christian mayor.

*Daniel/stopwatch invites the other kids to celebrate Jewish holidays with him. Sophia melts some candlesticks and Hannah starts having visions when they read the Haggadah, but they still had a great time.

Characters that deserve an honourable mention:

The spankoffskis sound very Jewish, but we know ted is a Christian, and they both went to a Christian summer camp.

Linda says "mensch", but with the implications of the rich bitch being Jewish? No thanks. Plus she has way too much Christian symbolism in her character. My headcanon is that she heard Jews were controlling the media so she started using Yiddish slang to look richer. I'm sorry, but she would.

I love Gary Goldstein, but he is a walking stereotype.

[appreciate-your-bones]

I’m sure people with more coherent thoughts have mentioned this but I rewatched honey queen and am thinking.

So like. Rowan raised Linda for the slaughter right. We all agree on that. The whole piggy goes to market / her childhood name being piggy / nibbly’s pig symbolism thing speaks for itself.

But!!! It was super obvious to me why certain lib called out characters during the summoning (tinky wants all the spankoffskis, of course he’s going to call out Pete. Grace and her terror of being watched by god as she does ‘terrible things’ is being watched by blinky) but I had to think a little more for the nibbly/Steph connection.

And then I realized. If Steph had never met Pete and had never associated with the nerds, if her father would have stayed mayor, she would have been the perfect candidate for honey queen. Think about it. She would have been rich. She would have been powerful. You know her father would have broken her down enough to be popular, a hatchetfield darling.

Her father has made deals with the lords in black before, who says that the mayor, a judge of the honey queen pageant, wouldn’t give up his daughter for- who knows? Power? Long life? His wife back? A better daughter?

Anyway I love the idea of the honey queen’s popularity literally eating her alive (a reason besides the immaculate vibes to love human!nibblys popular girl esc outfit) as well as a powerful woman’s power only being superficial and being an easily retractable gift from her actually powerful father

Also nibbly is the cannibalism god which makes him superior thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

I'm salty about The Ghost and Molly McGee's cancellation and how it's another example of networks and studios screwing over a show that didn't earn a profit despite doing next to nothing to help it earn a profit.

You got some fluffy headcanons about the show to help this poor salty soul.

Still mulling things over for post-series headcanons. I do have a few but I wanna wait till I have a good list and some designs before posting. I can give a few tho', 1 per major character.

Sharon worked through her grief of losing Scratch and created a series of wonderful art pieces which both hang in the Town Hall and in a museum in the capital.

Pete eventually manages to get a victory for Brighton over Perfektborg with an excellent redesign of the market district. While Perfektborg would win the next year, Pete was still hailed as a hero by the Brightonians.

Molly became Mayor of Brighton when she got old enough and felt she was ready to run, the previous Mayor Brunson even endorsed her run and she won easily. She has been enhappifying the town even more since for both the living and ghost citizens of Brighton

Daryl went legit...kinda. He still has some shady dealings but the other businesses he has are 100% legit (mostly thanks to Andrea's help and business know-how).

Libby became a popular author after with the encouragement of Molly, she sent in a manuscript and was published at 16. Since then she's been writing a bunch of stories of various genres (even outselling her father which brought her a bit of joy)

Andrea worked with Molly to rework her (Andrea's) life plan and it's been working great for her. The new "honest Andrea" image has been working well for her and has found it liberating not just for herself but against her family who has been trying anything to regain their empire, meanwhile Andrea has been happy separate from them

Ollie is a living therapist to the dead and has been helping ghosts with their unfinished business. While not his main job, it is the one he finds the most satisfying.

June continued her research on ghosts and now that actual ghosts are friends of her and family, she has direct test subjects. Her research was at first laughed at by "ghost experts" but after a few years of her advice was proven to work she got the respect that her parents never got.

Geoff & Jeff visited the McGees more often after Scratch left. While not the best at giving life advice, Geoff still tried to help Molly and co while growing up (Jeff, while supportive of his husband knows that he isn't the best with that stuff and would correct things)

[amethystunarmed]

I Need a Shovel to Love Him

Word Count: 4,226 A03 Link Richie calls Peter after the events of the opening night of Workin' Girls.

~~~

Holy fucking shit.

Peter is about to lose his virginity to Stephanie Lauter. 

They are on the couch in Peter's brother's apartment. Ted is gone for the evening, went to Ruth’s musical at the Starlight, but he had thrown a condom at Peter with a wink before he left. Peter was equal parts mortified and grateful.

By pure luck, Peter and Steph had managed to avoid getting tickets the same night Ted was going, giving them an opportunity to finally go all the way. They are making out on the couch, Steph straddling him while he gazes up at her in awe. Neither of them are wearing their shirts (Peter has come a long way from the first time he saw Steph in her bra and got so flustered he had to stop. He's just lucky she thought it was both hilarious and adorable). Her skin is hot against his, and when she trails her fingers down his spine, it gives him chills. Steph has finally taken pity on Peter, and moved to take her bra off herself, when the phone rings.

Pete sits up to grab it and Steph groans, flopping forward so her head rests on his chest. 

"Are you serious Spankoffski? You're answering your fucking phone right now?"

"I figure if it's my brother telling us he's on his way back because he finally realized the show isn't about sex workers, we'd want to know."

"... You get a pass just this once." She slides off his lap and Peter immediately misses her weight.

Peter fumbles for his phone and is surprised by the name that pops up.

The Power of God and Anime. Richie. 

Peter frowns down at his phone. Richie would rather die than make a phone call. For all Ruth loved talking to telemarketers, Richie about broke out in hives every time he had to make a call. (Between his phobia and Ruth's penchant for making the delivery boy uncomfortable, Peter had been making calls to Pizza Hut for them for years.) Richie wouldn't call. Not unless...

Peter hits the button and brings the phone to his ear, even as Stephanie groans behind him. He slides his legs off the couch and stands as he talks.

"Hey Richie, what's up? Aren't you at the show?"

Sobbing. Richie is sobbing. Peter's stomach sinks. "Richie? Richie, what's happening?"

"Pete?" Steph asks, suddenly concerned. Peter holds a finger up to her.

Richie hiccups. His voice is shaky, so much that Pete can barely understand him. 

"He- he- He went crazy, he killed them-" 

Peter feels like he's had ice water dumped over him.

"Who? Who killed who, Richie?" Peter gets up and grabs his shirt from where he'd thrown it earlier.

"Everyone, he- he-"

"Where are you?"

"The Theater."

Oh thank God.

"Richie, my brother is there, go find Ted, okay?" Ted was a fucking asshole but he would (probably) look out for Ruth and Richie, if only so Pete didn't tear him a new one. "He'll get you and Ruth out of there okay?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you," Richie says, sniffling, voice hitching. "Ruth and Ted are dead, Peter."

Peter drops his phone. 

He doesn't remember what happens next. He blinks and they're in the back of Mayor Lauter’s limo. Steph is holding Peter's now cracked phone to her ear. Miss Tessburger is prattling on about something but Pete can't understand her. Her words sound like a broken garbage disposal, continually revving but never getting any clearer.

He blinks again and Steph is kneeling in front of him. She sways as they take a sharp turn. She should be wearing a seatbelt, he thinks, inanely.

"Pete, you're scaring me."

Peter doesn't know why. He hasn't even done anything. 

He blinks and they're at the theater. Steph's hand is firm in his, the only thing that keeps him from drifting away. He trails behind her, letting her guide him to the sirens and the flashing lights. Until he sees-

Richie.

Peter loses time again. Suddenly he is sprinting, and Richie is too and Peter slams into him and they fall to the ground and Peter has his fingernails clawed tightly into Richie's vest so nothing can pry Richie away from him and-

He is sitting in the back of the ambulance. A scratchy orange blanket is wrapped around his shoulders. Richie is next to him. He has Peter's hand in a death grip, squeezing so tight Peter is beginning to lose feeling in his fingers.

An EMT is shining a light in his penlight in Peter’s eyes. It fucking hurts. Peter blinks aggressively at him.

“His pupils dilate, I don’t see any sign of concussion. As far as I can tell, Peter here is just suffering from a pretty extreme shock.”

He gives Peter a pitying little smile. Peter wants to knock his teeth out.

“But he’s not responding.” Stephanie is standing off the shoulder of the EMT. She has her arms crossed over her chest, her chin cocked out. It’s the same stance she’d had when she’d stood down Max Jagerman after they first started dating. It means she’s scared. “You can see it, he did it in the car too. Why the fuck can’t he hear us?”

The EMT hesitates a moment, then speaks slowly, like an adult on Sesame Street.

“Sometimes, when someone goes through something terrible, their brain will... take them away for a little. It’s a defense mechanism.”

Peter has already heard enough of this. 

“You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not here.”

“Oh, thank god.” The tension melts out of Steph as she throws herself at Peter’s free side. Her arms wrap around his shoulder and she tucks her head into his neck, like she is trying to get as close to him as possible. “You’re okay. Jesus Pete, never scare me like that again.”

"Pete?" Steph and Peter pull away from each other to look at a Black man in a checkered shirt. He nervously fiddles with a button on the cuff of his sleeve. Peter hadn’t initially noticed him, but he’s pretty sure the man had been standing there for a while. He seemed vaguely familiar, but Peter couldn’t place him. "You're Peter Spankoffski, right?"

Steph pushes over the ambulance, and stands in between him and Peter and Richie. "Listen, if you want a statement, go talk to some other smarmy asshole looking to get famous off this. Try Linda Monroe, she has an affinity for vultures." She is so fucking cool, so brave. Peter thinks he may be in love with her.

Oh my god he's in love with her.

He's in love with Stephanie Lauter.

He wants to tell Ruth, even though she'll ask a million uncomfortable questions. 

He wants to tell Ted, even though he'd give some awful advice about not being tied down.

Peter squeezes Richie’s hand.

"No, no," the man says. "I'm one of Ted's co-workers? Bill. Do you remember me?” The name slots into place. Peter remembers him in the backgrounds of office party pictures Ted had shown him and from when Ted brought Peter to a “Bring Your Kid to Work Day” even before he moved in with Ted full time. He has a recollection of Bill smiling at him from where he had hidden behind Ted, telling him, Richie, and Alice Woodward to all play nice together. Peter gives him a faint nod, which puts Bill somewhat at ease.

“Look at you, all grown up. So tall!” He is studying Peter with a sad sort of softness, cataloging all the changes from that little kid he’d met years ago. Peter wants to find the nearest bridge he can jump off of to avoid this conversation. “I wouldn’t have recognized you if Ted hadn’t had a picture on his desk." 

Peter wonders if he spontaneously developed a latex allergy, it feels like his throat is swelling shut. “He... He has a picture of me on his desk?” 

"Yes, he does.” Peter waits for him to elaborate, but Bill just offers him an awkward little half smile. Which, what the fuck? Did he just come over to here to remind Peter he was going to have to go to his brother’s fucking office and clean out his desk?

“Bill, I don’t want to be rude, but... why are you here?”

“Oh.” Bill furrows his brow at that, like he isn’t actually sure. “We came here together. Ted and I."

Peter squints at him. "Like a date?" He knew Ted had been sleeping around the office (knew too much about it, because his brother was kind of a slut), but he'd been pretty sure he'd been hung up on someone named Charlotte.

"No!" Bill denies, "He- I had an extra ticket, and I- he was the only one who wanted to come." Bill suddenly looked nauseous. "H- he was the only one who wanted to come tonight, and to spend time with me, and the whole night I just-"

"So you're the reason my brother is dead." The whole group snaps their heads to stare at him, even the EMT. He doesn’t know why they all look so surprised. It seems like a pretty logical deduction to make.

Steph wraps her arm around Peter’s shoulder, but she stays standing. He feels small tucked against her side. It feels nice.

Richie gives his hand a squeeze and runs his finger along the side of Peter’s hand. It feels nice too.

Bill sucks in a breath, like somebody stabbed him. Which is fucking hilarious, given the circumstances. He looks at Peter like Peter did something to hurt him. It does not feel nice.

“What? Don’t have anything to say about it? You just said it, you were the reason he was here.” The EMT winces, and Peter glares at him. He wisely decides to fuck off to the front of the ambulance.

“Peter, that’s not- I’m didn’t-” Bill fumbles over himself. Peter isn’t sure what he fucking expected.

“I think you should go.”

“Right, right, but I just wanted to say, if you need anything, you can-” He fumbles with his back pocket and pulls out a wallet, nearly dropping it on the ground. Ted always says that Bill never knows when to drop a subject, and so far, Peter isn’t seeing anything to disapprove this fact. 

“Here,” Bill says, as he holds a white card out to Peter. “My number’s on there, you can give me a call-"

And Peter just wants him to shut the fuck up.

"I said fucking GO!"

Bill jumps and drops his business card. Peter feels bad, but he's too fucking tired to apologize. He slumps against Steph's shoulder. Her breathing feels like a gravitational pull, and he doesn't think he could escape it if he tried.

Bill scurries off, and Peter is grateful. “Fuck,” he groans, hiding his face in the crown of Stephanie’s head. She smells like sweat and that fruity shampoo her dad won’t stop buying for her. “Ted was right, he’s a fucking busybody.” It tears through his chest, even saying his brother’s name. He thinks the only thing that could hurt worse would have been not saying it.

It grows quiet. At least, as quiet as the site of a disaster can be. If he listens carefully, he can hear Chief Sweetly crying about one of the actors or Officer Bailey debating with Grace Chasity over who gets to keep his gun. (He's pretty sure Grace is winning.) The noises of the parking lot combine into a low background, police interrogations and muffled sobbing weaving into a dull drone. The police have turned their sirens off, but the lights still flicker red and blue and white. Peter closes his eyes, and the solid colors flicker across the black of his eyelids. The repetition is soothing, smoothing over the anxious hum that has been blaring a klaxon in the back of his brain. Between the warm pillar of Steph in front of him and Richie’s solid weight across his back, Peter finds his eyes drifting shut.

Richie’s shoulders hitching, however, gets him wide awake in an instant. Peter sits up, away from Steph, and pulls Richie closer to him, so he is angled toward Peter. Silent tears flood Richie’s cheeks. His mouth is screwed up in a crooked line.

“What happened?” Peter asks, frantically looking Richie over. He seemed fine when they arrived, but Peter had just been happy he was breathing, he could have missed something important-

"It's my fault Ruth is dead," Richie weeps.

"What?"

"I killed her, Peter. I killed Ruth." Tears stream down Richie's cheeks.

"I thought you said-"

"I told her to audition! She wasn't going too, she said she wouldn't get in. I'm the one... I'm the reason."

Oh fuck.

"Richie..."

Richie just sobs and latches onto his shoulder. Peter can feel time slipping again and he digs his nails into his palm to stay present.

"Richie, it's not your fault."

"I'm the reason she was here."

The sick feeling in Peter's gut twists deeper. That isn't what he... Fuck. What does he say? What does he say?

Steph sees his hesitation and gets a wild look in her eyes. Her hand flutters to the back of Peter’s neck. Her fingernails graze the skin in a repetitive line, like she is trying to beckon him back. He wonders if she thinks he lost time again. If so, she doesn’t say. She focuses all her attention on Richie. "It's not your fault, okay? You blame the murderer, you blame the theater for hiring this whackjob, you blame God for all I care, but you don't blame yourself for that shit, okay? That's how you drive yourself crazy, and Ruth wouldn't want that, you torturing yourself for believing in her. Okay?" She reaches across Peter and takes Richie's free hand. "Promise me."

"Promise you?"

"You won't blame yourself. Promise me."

"I'll... I'll try.”Steph opens her mouth, most likely to argue, but she is interrupted. From the side of the ambulance, the EMT clears his throat, far too loudly, and rounds the corner.

Steph glares at him, but only says, "We'll work on it.” Richie nods, and  Peter is positive he is counting on her forgetting about it. 

With the EMT back, their closeness starts to itch. Peter can feel him searching them, trying to figure out just what they mean to each other. Peter is pretty sure a vivisection would feel less intrusive.

The three of them untangle from one other. Steph habitually tucks her hair behind her ears, straightening to perfect posture. Even at the scene of a disaster, she maintains her image. Not that Peter blames her. He is sure Dan and Donna will have all sorts of footage from tonight all over the news tomorrow. As a local celebrity, Stephanie will probably get a featured segment. The thought makes him feel nauseous. "Everything seems to be in order!" The EMT says brightly. "I don't think you two need to go to the hospital. Do you three have someone who can take you home?"

"My uncle is coming to get me," Peter lets him know. He looks toward Stephanie and Peter. “He can probably get the two of you too!”

Stephanie's frown deepens. It has been such a common expression for her tonight, Peter feels bad. He has etched so much grief into her face. "But Peter-"

"I'm fine, Steph."

"No you're fucking not. You keep fucking... Leaving."

"I've been here the whole time."

"But you haven't. The lights are on but nobody is home. It's... It's fucking terrifying, Pete."

Oh.

Pete turns to Richie, who nods. His palm is slick with sweat against Peter's. He looks freaked out, even considering everything that has happened tonight, which Peter again feels bad about. He is letting everyone down today. Still... There is one person he can't fail. He can't.

Peter looks up at the EMT.

“Where is my brother?” 

Richie swallows nervously. Peter feels his Adam's apple bob against his shoulder. "Pete...” He says slowly, like Peter just asked if he could move to Clivesdale. “He's d-"

"I fucking got that." He doesn't need a reminder. "Where... Where did they take him. After."

The EMT presses his lips together. “You should let your parents handle that, sweetie-”

“Then it’ll never get done. Where is he?”

“Everyone who was... who had passed before we arrived was taken to the hospital morgue.” 

“Huh.” Images of Ted, pale and expressionless on a silver slab flash through his head. So many nurses were going to see Ted naked. He would have been ecstatic. 

Then Peter is laughing. He is laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Stephanie and Richie are saying something, and they sound almost frantic and someone is shaking his shoulder but it’s so fucking funny Peter can’t stop. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cackles. And at some point his laughs have turned to sobs. They shake his whole body, and he thinks he might be screaming. He falls into Richie, and Richie is sobbing too. He wraps his arms around Peter, and hugs him tight to his chest. Peter can feel wet spots on Richie’s shirt where he is soaking him with tears and snot, but Richie only holds him tighter.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Pete,” he murmurs over and over into Peter’s hair. A warm weight drapes over Pete’s back, and  Stephanie reaches up to pet through Peter’s hair. 

“Let it out baby, let it out.” Her voice is wet.

Peter isn’t sure how long they sit there, crying. Long enough, that Peter runs out of tears, and he just sniffles through shaky breaths, feeling like a wrung out dish towel.

“What am I going to do?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Where... Where am I going to stay?” His parents were out of the question. Peter wouldn’t go back, even if they wouldn’t just slam the door in his face. Without Ted to pay rent on the apartment... “I’m homeless. Fuck.”

“You can stay with me!” Stephanie assures him. 

“Your dad is going to be okay with that?” 

“Are you kidding? He’ll love it. Taking you in right before the election? He’ll look like a hero.” She scoffs. “He’ll probably claim it was his idea.”

A car pulls into the parking lot, a beat up red Toyota probably older than Peter is himself. The bumper is more rust than metal. At the wheel is the mean barista from Beanie's. She is wearing an expression that Peter has never seen on her before, blatant concern weighing her face. Out of the car, comes Richie’s uncle Paul. He is still in his suit, like he was relaxing at home in a starched shirt and tie. Considering everything he knows about Paul, that probably was the case.

“Richie!” He yells, louder than Peter imagined he could be, “Richie!” His head frantically turns back and forth as he scans the crowds.

“Over here!” Richie yells, standing and waving his and Peter’s conjoined hands. He has backed up, so the lines of their legs are still pressed together.

Paul’s entire body decompresses when he sees Richie, like he is sighing with his entire body. He staggers against the hood of the car, briefly studying himself with his hands, before pushing past it. He cuts the corner too fast, slams his thigh into the headlight, but he doesn't even seem to notice the impact. He speedwalks over to the back of the ambulance, running up to his nephew to take Richie's face into his hands. “Richie,” he gasps, like holding him is the first breath of oxygen he has gotten all night. Something about it makes Peter's already sore eyes sting, and he has to swallow a lump in his throat.

Richie looks up at Paul with a brittle smile. “Hi Uncle Paul. Thank you for coming.” He says it like Paul has picked him up early from a sleepover. Paul doesn't even answer. He just opens his mouth and then closes it, once, twice, then a third time. Then he pulls Richie forward, unflinchingly, into his chest. His shoulders shake.

“Jeez, Uncle Paul!” Richie shrieks, “You're crushing me.” He doesn't fight the hold though, merely wraps his free arm around Paul and squeezes. The hand still holding Peter’s trembles.

The mean barista jogs up to them, finally catching up from where Paul had run off without her. Peter remembers Richie mentioning she and Paul were dating, but Peter hadn't realized they were “Drive me to get my nephew from the scene of a mass murder” serious. Good for Paul.

"Hey kid. How are you holding up?"

Richie sniffs. "Sorry, Emma. I know you were excited to have dinner with Tom and Tim."

"Kid, you don't have to apologize for... For any of it. I'm just glad you're okay." She places her hand on Paul's shoulder. “Babe, you're going to suffocate him.”

“Right, right,” Paul says, distantly. He lets Richie lean away, hands slowly falling, like he is ready to reach out and grab him again at any moment. He glances over, paling at the sight of Peter and Stephanie. He clears his throat as he processes their presence. “Hello Peter. Stephanie.” He says Stephanie's name slowly, like midway through saying it, he realized he wasn’t actually sure he was right. 

She graciously doesn't mention it. “Hey, Mr. Matthews.” Paul frowns, like he always has the few times she's joined them for a study session, but for once doesn't argue. Instead, he turns to Peter.

“Richie mentioned that Ted... Is... Is he, um-”

Peter doesn't have the patience for this. “Ted's dead, yeah.”

Paul gets that same stricken look Bill had, and maybe Peter should be nicer, but to be honest, he just wants people to stop looking at him. Even the fucking barista, who Peter is 99% sure has spit in his hot chocolate, is looking at him like he's a walking tragedy and Peter can hardly stand the writhing weight of their pity.

“Okay... Okay, okay,” Paul repeats, slowly, taking a deep breath. "I'm... I'm sorry for your loss. Ted and I weren't close but... I know he really, really loved you."

It's so impersonal, so distant. It’s a stranger’s eulogy.

It's exactly what Peter expects from Paul. Their mismatched relationship used to be something Peter, Ruth, and Richie laughed at Ted recalling his "best friend Paul" while Paul clearly only tolerated Ted, at best. Ruth had once called it a "tragic, one-sided bromance" and Peter had laughed so hard, milk shot out his nose. But Ruth isn't here. And Ted isn't here. And Paul doesn't like Peter's brother. And Peter can't help but say it.

"Ted called you his best friend." From the way Paul's eyes widen, this is news to him.

"Oh. I... I didn't know he, um, felt that way. I kind of thought he didn't like me."

"Being mean is how Ted shows affection. He learned it from our parents."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Pete," Steph exhales, like the words pain her. She nuzzles closer to his shoulder.

"Speaking of parents,” Paul says, in that frantic way he does when he is trying to change the subject, “are they coming to pick you up?"

"Fuck, I hope not." Peter says, before he can stop himself. He groans. Fuck his filter tonight, apparently he’ll just say anything. Stephanie, Paul, and Emma are looking at him with barely masked concern.

“Peter can stay over, right?” Richie asks, nervously. He still hasn't let go of Peter. Peter can't imagine asking him too.

“Of course,” Paul says and nods toward Peter. Then he looks at Stephanie. “Are you... Are you coming as well?”

“I...” Steph looks between them. “I’m not-” It is the most at-a-loss Pete has ever seen her. “I wouldn’t want to... You guys were... Ruth and I, we weren’t... We only hung out a few times, and... I shouldn’t.” It’s Richie who reaches out and grabs her hand.

“Please, come with us. For Pete, and... for me?” Somehow, tears begin to drip down Richie’s face. (Peter is distantly impressed. He thinks that if he cried anymore, he would crumble into dust.) “You’re our friend, Steph. You are Ruth’s friend too.” He chuckles, and chokes on it. “She was so excited to have a friend who was a girl, you had no idea.”

Steph sniffles a bit. “She was my first girl friend too. At least, the first one who was actually nice to me.”

“Steph...” Paul says. Peter didn’t realize it at first, but his eyes are red. “Even if you think you weren’t as close-” Paul’s voice cracks, “-as you should have been, you get to be sad too, okay?”

“Paul...” Emma says, a twinge of genuine grief in her tone, but Peter can’t bring himself to care about whatever the fuck they are talking about, because Steph is looking between him and Richie like she is waiting for them to say something. Words are fucking impossible but to be honest, Peter doesn’t want to talk anyways. He holds his arms out and Stephanie falls into them. And Peter was wrong, because as Steph silently cries into his shoulder and Richie worms his ways into the hug, shoulders heaving, Peter finds he has more tears left to shed after all.

[amazingmsme]

Wake Up (Proto)Call

AN: FINALLY, MY FIRST NPMD FIC!!! Been wanting to write this since I saw it, the brainrot is strong with this one. Just some Spankoffski bros fluff ft. Steph. This fic was an absolute blast to write! This trio literally own my heart now, wtf. Here’s day 29!

Ted walked down the hall toward's Peter's closed door, hands shoved deep in his pocket. He barely gave a knock before opening it.

"Hey Pete, got a min- oh. Well hello." Ted stood in the doorway awkwardly, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Stephanie Lauter looked about the same, sitting on the leaning against the headboard with a book in hand and Peter napping in her lap. A blush quickly spread across her cheeks as a teasing smirk tugged on his lips. She gave a shy wave.

"Um, hi."

Ted walked into the room, milling about as he inspected his brother's shelves of action figures, comics and other nerdy memorabilia. He held a hand out for her to shake.

"I'm Ted, Pete's older brother." She arched a brow, but didn't shake his hand. He held his hands up in surrender. "Too cool for a handshake, hey, I get it." This seemed to snap her out of it.

"No! It's not that, you just- caught me off guard is all."

Ted gave her a skeptical, albeit amused look. "Mmhmm." He turned his back to her and grabbed a stack of comics. "I owe him 20 bucks now, so thanks a lot." Steph scoffed.

"Excuse me?" she asked incredulously, setting her book aside.

"I thought he was full of shit when he said he was meeting the mayor's daughter at Pasquale's, so obviously I made a bet," he explained as he started to sift through the stack. It was Stephanie's turn to smirk.

"And obviously you lost."

Ted snorted, but didn't pay her much attention beyond that. Steph frowned. "You know he's really particular about his stuff, right?" Ted turned around on his heels, bending at the waist to get closer to her height.

"Seeing as I've known him since birth, uh, yeah I do, lil miss," he snarked. Steph glared at him and flipped him off.

"Don't fucking call me that. I'm sure Peter doesn't want you snooping around his room anyway," she sassed back, crossing her arms, careful not to jostle Peter as he slept.

Ted rolled his eyes, somehow putting his whole body into it. "Yeah I was hoping he'd be gone, but asleep is the next best thing," he said, turning back to face her. "If you must know, I'm just trying to keep track of everything he's got. All this junk looks the same to me, and I can't just ask what he doesn't have, 'cause then he'll know what I'm getting him-" he started rambling.

Steph's expression softened into a grin. "His birthday's still a month away."

"Yeah, and I'm running out of time," he mused, setting the comics back where he got them. He even made sure they were ordered correctly, Stephanie noticed. He glanced at her, looking as though he wanted to say something. Stephanie scoffed and looked him up and down. "What?"

"I really wanna do this thing, but if I do Pete's probably gonna be pissed," he said, mischievous eyes glued to his brother's sleeping form. Mischief came off of him in waves Steph hummed as she reached for her book again.

"Then you probably shouldn't do it."

Ted took one step closer to the door, but meandered his way back to the side of the bed.

"Oh but it's a tradition. You see, it was always my job to wake him up for school, dude sleeps like a fuckin' log-" he started. Steph frowned and shook her head, a hand carding through his long hair.

"Don't wake him up, he's tired. I told him he could nap."

"Yeah but he has a guest over, and that shit's just flat out rude in my opinion. Besides, I think you'd really like it," he said the last bit in a singsong tone. She rolled her eyes and returned to her book.

"I'm serious, don't bother him." Then quieter, she added, "He's cute while he sleeps." He made a gagging motion while she was distractedly looking down at Peter, stopping right before she looked back at him.

Ted turned around in "defeat" and headed to the door, muttering, "Even cuter when he's being tickled." Now that got her attention.

"What?"

Her tone was joyous and inquisitive and when Ted looked at her, she had an evil smile spreading across her face. That's more like it.

Ted sauntered back, sitting on the bed next to his brother. "Oh yeah, one thing you need to know about my lil bro is that he's like, crazy ticklish. Seriously, you're welcome, I just gave you the key to getting anything you want from him," he chuckled, only have joking.

Steph was looking at her boyfriend in a new light. "Thank you. That is... very intriguing information."

Ted made a show of cracking his knuckles as he spoke, "This is one of the only ways to actually get him up. Yeah an alarm will wake him up, but he won't actually get outta bed, ya know?" He was hunched over Peter's sleeping frame with hands hovering over his torso. He gave her a sly grin. "I don't get to do this as often as I used to, so I'll take any chance I can get."

Steph giggled and ducked her head, "I don't blame you."

Peter was laying on his side with his head resting on Steph's thighs, his knees tucked close to his chest. Ted started poking up and down his side, slow at first but gaining speed as he went. To Stephanie's delight, sleepy giggles slipped past his lips as he began to stir.

Sporadic poking turned to scribbling and the small huffs of laughter grew more consistent. His hands swatted blindly at offending ones, but lacked the strength or accuracy to protect himself.

"C'mon Pete, time to wake up," he cooed, one hand trailing up to scribble at his neck. A tiny squeal slipped out as Peter scrunched his neck, burying his face in the flannel tied around Steph's waist.

"Tehed leave mehehe alooone," he whined in his half asleep state. It took a second for his foggy brain to connect the dots, but once they did he was wide awake. He shot up so fast it startled both of them, Steph even letting out a startled squeak. "TED WHAT THE FUCK? GET OUTTA MY ROOM!" he yelled and pointed at the door, face quickly turning red.

Ted sat on the edge of the bed, completely frozen with his hands in the air as if he'd been caught by the police. He was fighting off his own laughter, mouth gaping open in shock at the outburst. Shock quickly gave way to amusement.

He wore a sly yet somehow sheepish grin as he looked at Stephanie. "I promise he usually isn't like this," he joked, shooting her a wink.

"GET OUT!" Peter repeated, using his long legs to his advantage, kicking his brother in the back to shove him off the bed. Ted stumbled to his feet, giving his brother a bewildered look. What the hell was his deal? Oh right, they weren't alone.

"Alright aright, I'm leaving," he admitted defeat. He only made it two steps before Stephanie spoke up.

"No you aren't." Peter stared at his girlfriend, a look of utter betrayal in his face. Ted's brows furrowed in confusion as he turned back around.

"I'm not?"

"Yeah, he's not?"

"Ted here was just about to give a detailed demonstration on all your tickle spots," she said, so matter of factly. Both Spankoffski brothers scoffed in shock before she continued, "Weren't you?" She looked at Ted expectantly, cocking her head to the side. There was something almost... challenging in her eyes. As if she dared him not to comply to her demands.

"I wasn't planning on it, but if you insist!" It took little to no convincing for Ted to take the golden opportunity presented here.

"No wait!" Peter protested, about to bolt off the bed when a hand around his wrist pulled him back. His nervous smile grew wider by the second. "Steph, let go."

"No," she said, an evil grin firmly in place. She snatched for his other wrist, and he moved it out of reach just in time. He held his arm out to the side as far as he could while Stephanie stretched across him, trying to grab him. She took the cheaters way out in the end and scribbled in his exposed armpit, causing him to slam his arm against his side for protection, a bark of laughter escaping past his lips. She easily caught his wrist and pulled both of his arms above his head.

"Thanks for being so cooperative babe," she said and Peter rolled his eyes.

"You're not welcome," he snarked.

"I'd be nicer if I were you. She doesn't look like she holds back," Ted chuckled as he sat on his ankles to keep him in place. Peter kicked and tugged on his legs, but they remained firmly trapped.

"C'mon guys, this isn't funny!"

"Really? Then why're you laughing?"

"But I'm not-" Peter was cut off with a shriek when Ted struck, squeezing his younger brother's boney knees. He yanked his arms down, catching Steph off guard with the level of strength he displayed. His hands immediately moved to cover his face and clamp over his mouth.

"Oh yeah, forgot to warn you, he's stronger than he looks," Ted added casually, as if he wasn't making Peter scream with laughter. "But knees: major weak spot." Steph nodded in understanding as she wrestled Peter's arms into her hold once more.

"Ohoho you're one toho tahahahalk!" he managed through his laughter.

"This isn't about me though, is it? Nooo, it's about you," he emphasized his point with a poke to his tummy, making him try to curl in on himself with a squeak. Ted continued, "Anyway, his belly's also pretty bad," he noted, forming a claw with his hand and hovered it in the air. Peter saw what he was doing and shook his head frantically.

"NO! Tehehed Ihihi'll kihihill you!" he threatened through giddy, nervous giggles. His older brother merely shrugged.

"I'd like to see you try," he said, not quite as condescending as usual.

Steph had had enough just watching and shifted his hands under her legs so she could join the fray. She looked at Ted expectantly.

"Where should I start?" she asked, smiling at the indignant cry Peter let out. Ted chuckled in amusement.

"Well he's ticklish just about anywhere, so knock yourself out," he encouraged, ignoring the indignant protest that mingled with Peter's laughter.

"Yeah, but what's a good spot?" she pressed further, seemingly unsatisfied with the vague answer.

"Well if you wanna hear the cutest giggles ever then go for his neck. Oh! And if you scratch at this one spot behind his ears he'll snort really loud, it's hilarious!"

"TEHEHED! Shut thehehe fuck uhup!" he shrieked, his cheeks taking on a dark pink hue from the flustering conversation taking place overhead.

"Wow, is that how you talk to your brother?" Steph asked in a taunting tone. Peter shook his head, babbling protests spilling from his mouth as she skittered her nails over his neck. Ted really wasn't kidding: this was probably the cutest sound she'd ever heard her boyfriend make. She was smiling down at him, her grin stretched from ear to ear as she scribbled her nails just behind his ears.

Peter snorted and tried hiding his face in the crook of his arm, but it still left half of it exposed for Steph's viewing pleasure.

“Oho my God, that’s so cute!” she exclaimed, leaning so far into his personal space they nearly touched noses. Ted fake gagged behind her back, for no one’s benefit but his own. “Do it again,” she ordered, using both hands to scratch at that spot.

A loud squeal was abruptly cut off by a giggly snort, and Peter turned a shade darker.

“Steheheph nohoho!” he whined, kicking his legs futilely where they remained pinned.

“Steph yes!” he cried, ducking down to blow a raspberry on his neck. Peter threw his head back, wild cackles filling the air. Ted leaned back, looking impressed and proud.

“Wow, and I didn’t even have to tell you about that!” he teased, reaching out to tweak Peter’s hips. He yelped, twisting side to side.

When Steph blew the third raspberry, Ted decided to show a little mercy. He grabbed a lock of Stephanie’s long hair, giving a few gentle tugs to get her attention, “Hey, we wanna keep him alive, yeah?” Steph looked over her shoulders, leveling him with a harsh glare as she yanked her hair back.

“You do?” Peter asked breathlessly from where he laid beneath his tormentors. They both chuckled and finally relented.

“Mhm,” Ted hummed cheerfully, standing up from the bed and dusting himself off.

“You got a funny way of showin’ it.”

“Hey, what’re brothers for?” he asked with a shrug. He held his hand out for a fist bump. Peter scoffed, looked at the hand, then at his brother. He sighed in defeat and gave him a fist bump. He turned back towards the door, ready to leave for real this time, when he was stopped once again by a familiar voice.

“I’ll get you back you know!”

Ted stopped in the doorway, one arm resting against the frame as he casually leaned on one foot. Peter was sitting up now, leveling him with a determined stare. It was a look Ted had seen before. He smirked; Peter rarely followed through on his threats.

“Yeah? I’d like to see you try,” he said, classic condescending snark returning to his tone. He turned back around, only taking one step before another voice spoke up.

“He’s a lot braver now, you know.”

Ted spun around on his heels, retort ready on the tip of his tongue when he saw his brother standing by his bed, a confident smirk on his face.

Ted’s own cocky smile faltered into something a bit more nervous. He took a step back, holding his hands out in front of him.

“Hang on now, Pete. W-wait!”

Peter cocked his head, like Ted had done so many times at him. Well shit.

“Why would I do that?”

Ted saw movement from the corner of his eye and noticed Steph also stand.

“Hey, I helped you!”

“Actually, I asked for a comprehensive list of his tickle spots, and IIII don’t knooow… that didn’t seem like a fully comprehensive list to me.”

That little bitch!

Ted scoffed, “Did you just use me to get your way?”

Steph wore a truly radiant smile. “Get used to it.”

Ted took another step back. “I had to leave you some surprises!” he defended himself, shrieking when Peter lunged at him. He just barely escaped when Peter caught him by the shirt, sprinting out of his grasp. His celebration was short lived when he was tackled to the ground.

“Oh Ted, I bet you thought this day would never come. But it’s about damn time you had a taste of your own medicine.”

He could never take what he dished out.

[its-a-rat-trap]

BOB GELDOF: OFFICIAL STATEMENT REGARDING CITIZENS OF BOOMTOWN

From The Pen of Bob Geldof:

My Fellow Citizens…

Time moves on alas and Boomtown needs to re-purpose its infrastructural modalities. That’s right Citizens we need to up-scale, downsize and re-position ourselves vertically but on a horizontally focussed axis to be better prepared online-sly speaking for the coming mega-celebratory 50th Boomtown Birthday.

The Citizens of Boomtown site and forum will shortly be seamlessly absorbed into the NEW BOOMTOWN SUPERSITE!! still giving you all the current extraordinary benefits of Citizenship, geeky discursive debating platforms but not really! Wow!!

Basically there’s no point in having two sites in effect doing the same thing so some maddened managerial time and motion efficiency freak begged Pete (blame him) to allow Mayor Jennifer and Techno buff Joke to “rationalise” our online presence, be slightly more professional (who? Us? The Rats? - you’re joking mate) and frankly get it together webbily-speaking. So…

COB is a great album but being released two days before lockdown, like a lot of things and people it got obstructed by Covid 19. So goodbye promotion, tour and what we had hoped would be a different route of approaching the band and music through a site or device where fans would be the same as the band in a shared experience of being Citizens of the “idea” of what Boomtown might be or could be and which, as a result become self-growing, outside of the band where the band and its members became irrelevant to the ongoing life of the site/idea/citizens. But still the background hum that united it all was the music coming out of that towering imaginary Ratopolis.

So feel free to jump in your leaky inflatable rubber dinghy, don your useless safety vest, pay a scumbag Rat-trafficker and migrate the tricky electric tides away from the doomed but forever beautiful city to the fun-lovin’, hip-swingin’, ga-roovey, ca-razey sunny uplands of brand new/old Ratland! That country where even the Rats roam free and zephyr winds carry wafts of gentle heavenly Ratmusik to all the green corners of its lush pastures. Where parliaments of citizens still carry on arcane esoteric deconstructive debates over the “true” meaning of “Do The Rat” and it’s global implications to the coming US elections particularly with regard to the swing states of Pennsylvania and Wisconsin wherever the fuck that is.

So..thank you for all the fun of COB and hello to Ratsite 2. If you think it’s crap you’ll let us know and remember Pete is the one to blame..

Rat On..

BG xxx

[catierambles]

Blood Moon Ch.20

Pete pulled him into a hug when he and the others arrived the next day.

“I’m good, Petey.” Sy said and Pete nodded, pulling away. “You tell the others?”

“Yeah.” Pete said and Sy looked at them as they stood in the entryway.

“It wasn’t real, Kyle.” Brian said, “We’re right here. Unharmed.”

“I know.” He said, “It’s just been a while since I had that nightmare and definitely not in that flavor. C’mon, Annie made wings.”

“Was wonderin’ what that smell was.” Jake said, pushing into the house, grabbing his shoulder on the way past, “Smells damn good.”

“Woman can’t eat real food without gettin’ sick,” Sy said, “But she’s one hell of a cook.”

“I also made pepperoni pizza rolls.” Annalisa said, coming out from the kitchen, “They’re in the oven, should be done in a few more minutes.”

“Woman, you spoil me.” Sy said as he moved past her, kissing her cheek.

“This house is awesome.” Mike said, looking around. “Real Addams Family vibe. I love it.”

“When’d you have it built, again?” Sy asked her as they moved into the living room, the guys sitting down while she stayed standing.

“When this city was just a dirt road and a few buildings.” She said, “The locals were...apprehensive when I moved here, but the builders I hired were from the area and they were grateful for the work, and the jobs I created when I started supplying funds to stabilize the economy.”

“Wait.” Brian said, “Holy shit, I thought you looked familiar. You’re Marybeth Caulfield. There’s a picture of you with the mayor at the time in the local museum.”

“A previous moniker, yes.” She said with a small smile.

“Hold up.” Sy said, “Marybeth Caulfield. We learned about her in school. This town was dyin’ a slow death and then she moves in and there was basically an industry boom. That was you?” She just nodded. “Holy fuck. Well thanks babe.”

“You’re welcome, now get comfy and I’ll bring out food.” She said with an amused smile, “The game will be on any minute now.”

Later that night, Sy sat in the security room of Pendulum, keeping an eye on the cameras and the VIP booths. It was a pretty slow night, activity wise. A couple assholes who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer before they were “encouraged” to leave, a guy selling weed out of the men’s bathroom, nothing horribly exciting. Someone familiar caught his eye and he leaned forward, turning the dial on the control panel to zoom in.

“Oh no fuckin’ shot.” He said and tapped the ear piece in his ear. “Hey, Annie?”

“Yeah?” She responded.

“Tiffany is here with her friends.” He said and there was a beat of silence.

“Understood.” She said, “I doubt she knows you’re working here now, but she knows I own the club. Leave her to her business for now, but if she tries to start trouble, let me know.”

“Got it.” He said, “Want me to stay in the hub?”

“For now, but use your best judgement and step in if need be.”

“Got it.” He said again and relaxed in his chair. While he didn’t focus on what she was doing, he did keep her in the corner of his eye as he kept watch on the other screens.

“Sy.” It was a member of security in his ear.

“Go.” He replied.

“Got some trouble at the bar.” He went to the screen for the camera behind the bar just in time to see Tiffany throw her drink in Ethans’ face.

“Call Annie, I’m on my way.” He said pushing up from his chair. He met her in the hallway and she did not looked pleased. Not that he blamed her, he wasn’t pleased himself.

“She always this charming at clubs?” She asked.

“Must be in a mood.” Sy said and they moved through the patrons towards the bar, Tiffany’s shrill complaints getting louder. “Tiffany!” He barked out when they got there and she actually jumped despite the volume of the music. “You wanna tell me why you assaulted my bartender?”

“What the fuck are you doing here, Kyle?” She asked indignantly.

“Head of Security, now answer the damn question.”

“He said they didn’t have extras, but I know he’s lying.”

“Extras?” Sy asked, looking at Ethan who was still wiping alcohol off his face with a towel.

“Party favors.” He said simply.

"Tiffany, I don't allow drugs in my establishments." Annalisa said simply. "But you knew that."

"Oh please." She said, rolling her eyes. "Every club has something."

"I don't tolerate drug use in my clubs," Annalisa said, "And you assaulted one of my staff. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"I'm not leaving."

"Tiff, you can leave, or we can remove you." Sy said, "Your choice."

"If any of you touch me, I will scream and the cops will be here." She said and Annalisa sighed.

"Why don't you move somewhere else, instead?" She offered, "How about one of the back VIP rooms? You can bring your friends and your drinks will be comped."

"That's what I thought." Tiffany said, flicking her hair out of her face. "Lead the way." Sy and Annalisa led the group towards the back. "Told you this bitch was a pushover." That made Annalisa's jaw clench but she didn't say anything. They got to the VIP rooms and she turned to her.

"You and your friends can get the fuck out of my club, Tiffany." She said, "I didn't want to cause a scene out there, but I will remove you by force if I have to."

"Listen, bitch." Tiffany said, "One call to my father and I can get this dump closed down, you hear me? One. Call."

"So do it." She said and Tiffany blinked in surprise.

"W-what?" She asked, clearly not having expected that reaction.

"Your father is Judge Tobias Stanwick, yes? Call him. Right now." She didn't move, "I'm waiting."

"O-okay, it's your funeral." She dug her phone out of her bag, unlocking it and selecting a contact.

“Put it on speaker." Annalisa said and she did, the ringing getting louder.

"Tiffany, what happened?" Came the groggy male voice.

"Hi, daddy, I'm at--"

"Hey, Toby." Annalisa said with a smile in her voice and on her face, Tiffany looking at her with shock, "It's Annie. Sorry to bother you."

"Annie? What's going on?"

"In a minute. How's Janice?"

"She's good, was asking about you the other day. I think she may reach out for a get-together."

"It's been far too long, I miss you both."

"We miss you." Tobias said.

"Heard your youngest is going to Harvard Law."

"Yeah, Danny's taking after his old man." Tobias said, pride in his voice.

"It's not Cambridge, but I can forgive him." Annalisa said and he chuckled. "I have a law firm in Manhattan that does paid internships, I'll keep an eye on him. If he keeps his grades up, I'll put him on the short list."

"You don't have to do that, Annie."

"It's not a favor, Toby. He'll have to earn it."

"Thank you."

"Of course. If he's anything like his father in a court room, he'll be one to watch."

"Now, you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Your eldest tried to get illicit substances from my bartender. She threw a drink in his face when he said we don't do that here, and then threatened to have you close my club down when I told her to leave." Annalisa said and there was a moment before he sighed.

"Tiffany..." He said, his voice tight.

"She lying!" Tiffany said, "Also, Kyle is here and--"

"Kyle. The decorated Army Captain you cheated on and then tried to get arrested. You know how many favors I had to pull to keep you from getting arrested for filing a false police report on him?"

"Evenin', Sir." Sy said, figuring that was a good time to speak up.

"Evening, Captain." Tobias said, "You working for Annie?"

"I'm her new Head of Security." Sy said and, with a nod from Annalisa, "I'm also her fiance."

"No shit. Well, congratulations to you both." Tobias said, "I'll tell Janice, you know she'll be overjoyed. We always liked you, son."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Oh, Annie, while I have you on the phone. Did you get an invite to the Governors Ball this year?"

"With the amount I donated to his campaign? Of course I did."

"Yeah, you did get that man elected." Tobias said, “If you're going to attend, bring the Captain, it'd be nice to see the boy again."

"Only if he wants to."

"I'll think about it." Sy said.

"Well, I hope you do decide to come along." Tobias said, "Tiffany, you're leaving her club and you're never going there again. Either of them. Do you understand?"

"But daddy, she--"

"Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." She said.

"Good. Annie, I'm sorry about this, she won't bother you or the Captain again." Tobias said.

"I know." Annalisa said, looking at Tiffany. "Good night, Toby."

"Good night, Annie." The call ended and Annalisa gave her a pointed look.

"Get the fuck out of my club."

[nighthaterfrfr]

Do you have any more headcanons/thoughts about your Steph and Max as half-siblings AU? :)

BRO IVE BEEN OK

ive been wanting to discuss this for so long but for ppl who want to know (mostly background)

-i think that max and steph share the same dad, he seems like the one to sleep around. however, he settled w steph's mother and a secretly pregnant max's mother ended up w his ass of a dad.

-for a while, maybe 13-14 years, they never knew about their relation to each other. however, max and steph definitely saw the other one in school. max was praised as a football prodigy and steph was infamous for being a slacking and skipping mayor's daughter.

-they look somewhat similar. from the nose, ears, eyes, hell even the hair? there are small differences here and there, but they were definitely called siblings by their classmates

-they were also quite good friends. apparently, once u find out both ur dads are assholes, u bond. max would invite her to all his football games and she somehowb goes. these two were best friends, practically inseparable.

-one day in 7th grade, solomon was complaining to ms tessburger abt his affair. steph was overhearing about how it's odd to see one of kids succeed at something, while the daughter he has is doing nothing of importance.

-like any teenage girl w a completely shitty relationship w her father, steph was enraged, and a bit jealous. finding out she was related to max unlocked a bit of a one-sided hating towards him

-max however, always knew that he had a sister. before his mom divorced, she told him stories abt his birth father, and how when she was with him, she had no idea solomon already had a girlfriend.

-she reached out to steph's mother and had informed her of what happened. however, since she couldn't get out of the marriage jst yet, her mother instead acknowledged and thanked max's mother.

-ofc, max's mom never told him who his sister was. knowing him and his father, she feared that sudden new relation between him and the mayor's daughter may get to his head. so, instead she jst told him that he had a sister in hatchetfield.

-from around mid 7th grade to early 8th grade, max noticed how whenever steph was forced into a group w him, she'd always looked pissed off. annoyed. generally angry.

-in the 8th grade during lunch, max came up to her table, asking "the hell is wrong w me??? we used to be close u fuckin', uh... DINGUS!" this offended the hell out of steph and she umped out of her seat and started to swing punches at max. as any middle school in america does, a bunch of students started recording and posting it.

-steph and max sat in the principal's office, both with a lot of bruises and some bloody hands and noses. as solomon lauter and jagerman's father walked in, both of them stared at each other. eventually, max's father got into a full blown yell w solomon.

-as the two kids watched their fathers yelled at one another, that was when steph turned to max and finally revealed why she was so distant. "apparently, ur my fucking brother or smth."

-max sighed, looking at steph w a disappointed glare. "im sorry for being.. ur brother, i guess?" he replied, the two laughing as he explained his side of the story, and further strained the relationship between steph and solomon

(alr onto actual headcanons)

-they do love joking abt being half-siblings around their friends. despite it being true, theyre all so confused on if either max or steph is lying or not.

-the first person for max who found out that his sister was steph was kyle. he couldn't rlly believe it, but he jst kinda vibed. so max telling him went rlly chill.

-on steph's side however, when pete found out she had max jagerman as a brother, she was immediately bombarded with questions and pleas from pete. she tried offering these ideas to max, but he dismissed them, telling her "i need to remain on top, steph!" secretly, he does go easier on the nerds. by a little bit.

-max and steph spend the most time together outside of home, more at school or wherever. whether its going bowling w max's teammates at some bowling lanes, or hanging out in the lakeside mall jst the two of them.

-neither of them ever had a proper enough relationship w their family, so spending time w each other relived them of that disappointing truth a little bit.

-one time, max got so pissed at steph he threw a football at her from like, 40 yards away in order to get her attention. unfortunately, steph being preoccupied on her phone did not notice the absolute perfect throw coming right into her head.

-safe to say, he apologized and ran to her, trying his best to relieve her of a bruise.

-because of this incident, steph had wanted to begin learning how to play football. max was her teacher, and he sucked at it. like, explaining anything to her was alien to steph. however, over time, she slowly got the hang of it, and was good to a point when max stopped teaching her

-sometimes after a nighthawk game, if u stay jst long enough, u can see steph and max throw a football at each other from pretty far. and if ur lucky, seeing steph trying to tackle max. but most of the time, that mostly leads to the funniest image of steph falling ever.

i have a lot more, but my ask IS open yall lmaoooo

[helladirections]

HOW DOES POLITICS WORK??

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING. I HAVE SEVERAL RANTS BELOW THE CUT:

Primaries are not necessarily real

There wasn't an official Dem nominee yet anyway

Line of succession doesn't really matter, but pipeline of talent does

1. Primaries are not necessarily real

Ok so we all know how the process appears. On your state's primary election day (different days for different states, annoyingly) you vote for who you want for president. The person with the most votes wins the state.

But here's what people don't always know...

Each state party has different rules about how delegates are assigned. Some give 100% to the winner of the popular vote, some go proportionally. But regardless, these delegates (who are also voted on as a super down ballot thing that most people don't pay attention to) go to the DNC convention where they do the official ballot. Think of this as the electoral college but just for the Dem Party. Each state has a number of votes, theoretically the popular vote guides how the delegates vote, but legally there is flexibility. PLUS, you might see some history or that Netflix biopic where you hear things like "releasing delegates" or "releasing delegates to...". What that means is a candidate who doesn't have enough delegates to win can "release" their delegates to vote for whoever they personally want, or whoever the candidate directs them to. "Multiple ballots" at a convention means that no one has enough delegates the first time and they have to vote again. And in between those votes the candidates and their teams make deals and discuss and ideally people drop out and release delegates.

So your vote in your state is incredibly important. But also. It might not be.

2. There wasn't an official Dem nominee yet anyway

As I explained above, the nominee is decided officially at the DNC convention. You saw the same type of system at the RNC this week. It wasn't until the last day of the convention that they did the official vote and Trump officially accepted the nomination from his party. Before that, there wasn't technically an official nominee yet. Legally. Procedurally. That's part of why it was so weird that they had a debate so early.

Similarly, the DNC hasn't happened yet, so there's not an official nominee either. Typically people don't run against an incumbent president though so it's mostly for show. Obviously, this year it won't be for show, and some of what I talked about in #1 will be relevant.

3. Line of succession doesn't really matter but pipeline of talent does

You may know that the VP takes over as President if the President dies. Next in line is the Speaker of the House, and then it goes down a long list. But Biden didn't die, he just isn't running for reelection and waited until the last minute to do that.

Biden did endorse Kamala. But that doesn't mean Kamala is definitely automatically the nominee. And there's no guarantee of who the VP candidate would be. It just means that she's the front runner and likely has access to the entire campaign infrastructure (including money) that Biden had.

So who else besides Kamala? It doesn't have to go by current position, which is why the line of succession doesn't really matter. It's the pipeline of talent - meaning who else is relevant doing good work and has name recognition. Some names that have been floated:

Gavin Newsom (CA Governor) Gretchen Whitmer (MI Governor) Pete Buttigieg (Mayor Pete, tranpo secretary, former candidate) And others

And names that people float but will never happen: Michelle Obama Hillary Clinton Nancy Pelosi Chuck Schumer etc.

So who's gonna run for president in November?

TBH probably Kamala because she has the biggest head start and those endorsements are powerful. She'll probably pick the most generic white man as her VP. But other people are likely to try and give it a go as well and it wont be official until the last day of the DNC

THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO VOMIT. I MISS DC AND IT'S NICE TO USE MY POLI SCI DEGREE FOR SOMETHING

[allthecastlesonclouds]

Fantasy high and hatchetfield crossover never gets old! Can we hear your thoughts about it?

of course!!

so. in hatchetfield canon when hannah foster is born, the Lords in Black are pulled close enough to reality to start fucking with things. the same thing happens with Adaine.

the first thing that gets fucked with is Tinky messing around with people's ages. adaine's age does not get fucked with. everyone else's ABSOLUTELY does. thankfully she is the youngest of all of them in this world. for my sanity.

the original timeline ages (let's say adaine's 18): riz, fig, gorgug are all 18, kristen is 19, fabian and ayda are 20 (fabian was held back in school, ayda did not attend public education. on account of the witchery)

it's. unclear what's the first timeline at this point. everything happens at once. everything follows each other. adaine's head hurts constantly

they can only escape in universes/timelines that have a strong similarity to the original one! this is why they manage to escape in the lovely "fig kills an entire theatre of people" timeline (o7) and not when, say, adaine and riz are ten and the rest of them are full adults.

in more than a couple universes, the luckstones crash on a drive to visit family in clivesdale and penny is adopted by mayor goldenhoard

(she misses having a sibling. she and riz haven't talked since the accident.)

(^ at least one of these universes is nerdy prudes must die) (penny's steph, riz's pete, klck's grace, mary ann's richie, zelda's ruth, ragh's max) (adaine's reese; lucy's pj) (to get the LiB to take out max, kip kills lucy)

some of TBK have very Shifting parts in the story– a fig who is suddenly in her thirties and doesn't have any memory of success or friends won't jump back into trying to make music. she's gonna go get a job at the coffee shop downtown. they're all in tinky's toybox and he likes to see how they all respond to different traumas :D

aelwyn got out in about half the universes. in about half of that half she managed to be able to take adaine with her. in a couple universes she went to jail with arianwen. in more than a couple they're still both living with her

bill seacaster's roman murray :) fabian has no underlying mental issues :)

kristen takes uncle wiley's place in most universes. tracker's john mcnamara :D they're divorced :D

(jawbone's hidgens. his mental state varies depending on the timeline)

tracker does not feel great about shooting her ex girlfriend who she definitely doesn't still have feelings for. definitely.

riz, so far, has never been The Villain. he does die in Most Universes, though, as his younger self or his older self or both! :D

riz is all the spankoffskis and also tim

sandra lynn/sklonda is canon in at least five universes :)

i'm so so normal about all of them. thank you so much for the ask!! i. i love talking about the guys :)

ask me about my aus on this very normal day!

[agentravensong]

two scenes i would add to nerdy prudes must die

the thing about being autistic is that i will have no motivation to sit down and write stuff for my grad school applications all day, but then at night i'll find it in me to spend 3+ hours writing a tumblr post about my latest hyperfixation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this time that hyperfixation is nerdy prudes must die, a show that, despite still not being my favorite starkid hatchetfield musical, has really dug its claws into me. i'm gonna detail two scenes that i think would add to certain character arcs, give ritchie (and ruth)'s death(s) more impact, and really drive home the show's themes. don't think i need much more preamble than that, so, here we go!

1. Second Lauter family scene

A scene set between Ritchie's death and Ruth's, fitting best in the plot as is right after "Hatchet Town".

Primary purpose: Show more of Steph's character and her relationship with her father; show that the attitudes that made the teens' high school experience hell (pre-ghost!max) are reinforced by the adults

Basic outline: Steph and her dad are having a convo, prompted by the mayor, about how school is going; a kind of convo that, with how awkward it is, clearly doesn't happen often. Lauter says something half-hearted about how it's a shame her high school experience is being ruined by these events, because it was the happiest time of his life (as a contrast to the opinions our protags express in the opening number).

Steph doesn't want to talk about the murder stuff (duh) so she redirects to how her grades have genuinely improved (or at least did for a minute there) thanks to her studying with Pete, in a way that makes it clear she's genuinely proud of her improvement.

Mayor Lauter, in response, tells her that he doesn't want her hanging out with the nerds anymore, in or out of school, because it makes her a target (and also a suspect).

Steph gets upset at this dismissal; what kind of dad, she scoffs, would tell their daughter who was finally succeeding academically to stop trying? Especially when he was the one who told her to get her grades up?

And Mayor Lauter says something to the effect of, "You don't need to be a star student. I know you, Stephanie; that's never going to be you. All you need to be is good enough. Can you just do that for me?"

We have the mayor leave at this point; let's say he gets a phone call, cause that makes sense, and also is a deeply ironic reason for him to leave a family conversation considering his criticism of Steph's phone use. Steph could even point that out as a joke.

Here is where, if we have time, we give Steph a solo number. Well, it could be a solo, or it could be a duet with her dad — the kind where they're not singing to each other or aware that the other is singing, but they're basically singing their different perspectives on the same thing (in this case, their relationship). I propose the duet version because Corey deserves to get to show off his vocals more prominently in these shows.

Alternate ending if we're not doing the song: Steph can storm out, and the mayor can have an ominous line foreshadowing the drastic measures he'll be taking when we see him again.

The idea with this scene is that I want to give more weight to the whole "she's smarter than she thinks she is" angle to Steph's character. Show that she has found something through her bond with the nerds (Pete mainly) that makes her want to be more than just the "cool girl". And show that there is a part of her that wants a better relationship with her father (because if he won't believe in her, be proud of her, then who will?).

But also, we see how her dad has pigeonholed her into being that kind of airhead. All he cares about is that she stays out of trouble (which is to say, anything that would cause trouble for him). He doesn't care what she's genuinely interested in, what she aspires to; he's spent most of her teenage-hood assuming she's not interested in anything worthwhile, that she doesn't aspire to anything. He doesn't see her as a full person.

And, perhaps most importantly, him telling her not to associate with the nerds draws a direct line between him and our main antagonist, Max. Which matters for reasons that will become clearer as I discuss the second additional scene I came up with.

For the record, if I only got to add one of these scenes (NPMD is the longest of the Hatchetfield shows already, and both these scenes would have to be Act 2 additions), I'd pick this next one. So let's get to it.

2. High School Regression scene

Primary purpose: Showing how the murder(s) has/have affected the student body, and making the point that the hierarchies Max represented can't be disposed of that easily when he's still, literally and metaphorically, haunting the place.

This one would happen in between when the protags find out about Ritchie's death and when Grace informs Pete and Steph of Ruth's death. Practically, this means it would have to be set either:

A) right before Ruth goes to the BBQ Monologues rehearsal, with the scene centering around her, and leading directly into her arrival there (maybe replacing the cop convo entirely? maybe they're at the end of it)

or B) as basically a replacement for the Beanie's scene, but still leading into "If I Loved You" (and everything that comes after)

The beat-by-beat for this one is less solid in my head compared to the first scene, but the idea is that we see some of the cheerleaders and jocks going back to bullying Ruth in version A or Pete in version B (though in a less confident and malicious manner than Max did, as if their hearts aren't fully in it). Ruth or Pete gives some pushback and asks what changed to make them revert to this behavior.

I'm not sure how exactly the bullies express the "why", but in plain-speak, it's this: the students know about Ritchie (and Ruth)'s murder(s), and, maybe more importantly, the "nerdy prudes must die" that was written in Richie's blood. The message they've taken from that is that there is a killer reinforcing the social hierarchies they all abandoned when Max died. And so, with that latent threat hanging in the air, these students have decided to fall in line, in the hopes that they'll therefore be spared. Maybe, even, the murders will stop.

(you could also have one or two kids who are genuinely almost as cruel as max and are using this as an excuse to going back to being the assholes they were before, but you'd need more proper set-up for such a character i think)

Version A is pretty straightforward. I like the idea of Pete and/or Steph being there as well so it isn't just Ruth experiencing the misery (considering where things go from here)... but I know that they need to be dressed as different characters for when Ruth gets to the auditorium, so that probably isn't practical. Maybe there'd be time for Mariah to have made that quick change if Joey really stretched out his bit? But I know the change was tight even for Angela as is.

For version B, you could have the bullies find Steph and Pete at or on their way to Beanie's and be assholes to them there (because it makes sense to me that Steph and Pete would want to have their potentially incriminating conversation off high school grounds), but I think it has more thematic punch to set it in the high school.

Wherever it's set, in version B, Steph and Pete talk a bit about how the bullies' regression sucks, how things are even worse now than they were before Max died, which then leads into their conversation as it is in the actual show over whose fault this all is.

With Pete specifically, I think it'd be neat to call back to what he said to Steph way back in the show about his desire to blend in, to be invisible. That maybe, for a little bit, he liked being accepted, being important (to one person in particular), but it wasn't worth it. And with Steph, if we do have the second dad convo in this version of the show, we can maybe have her comment on how even her dad seems to believe in this bullshit social hierarchy, how they might never escape it.

I mentioned in my post detailing my initial nerdy prudes thoughts that I wished Pete and Steph had a convo that felt like Paul and Emma's convo right before "Join Us and Die". Basically, this is my attempt to give these teens that, without adding an entirely new scene just for that.

As a whole, this scene is my best attempt to Make Something of the themes and plot threads that are so well set up but get kind of lost in the last... third? of the show. Plenty of people have rightly posted that the adults are the real villains of this story. Max isn't scary just because he's one guy; he's representative of larger ideas, a larger system, perpetuated by those adults. Hierarchy, competition, and domination, treated as the natural, necessary state of the world. A system that reduces the personhood of all those ensnared in it.

Those ideas won't just disappear with his death. Max might have peaked in high school even if he lived because of the specific brand of boisterous asshole he was, but the world that instilled those ideas in him, the world beyond high school, will keep fostering and enforcing them, in its more mundane, subtle (comparatively) ways. It will keep producing more Maxs, and more Solomon Lauters.

Like, the whole "fuck clivesdale" bit is a running joke, and a funny one! But, also, I think there's something to be said about the fact that both the teens and adults are all in on this seemingly one-way rivalry, and how much focus is placed on it, in a show about *bullying*. A show about people who have arbitrary labels slapped on them as an excuse to be cruel to them.

"you're fucking losers, and we'll kill you!" isn't that far off as a sentiment from "nerdy prudes must die", is it?

and, like. their team name is the clivesdale chemists. chemists, like, nerds. it's supposed to be part of the joke, i'm pretty sure, that they're named after something nerdy, not a cool animal. if that parallel isn't intentional, then, i dunno man. it's still there either way.

(see also: the musical motif underneath the "who will pray for me" section of nerdy prudes must die also appearing as the chorus of "hatchet town". a motif that plays both when max asks ritchie who will remember him (who will remember *them*), right before enacting his ultimate "justice", and when the adults twist their memories into an excuse for a witch hunt, their own paranoid search for "justice".)

In real life, getting rid of the one asshole at the top of a rotten system doesn't fix the system. If the non-nerdy teens in this school were impressionable enough that one asshole could make them all act in line with his arbitrary beliefs, then his haunting presence (even if they don't know it's literally his ghost) should absolutely have *some* effect on them too.

And I think if you included a scene like this, it would make all that stuff in the script that's subtext, or half-developed, feel like it really was intentional, purposeful.

Does that all make sense? I hope so.

I know that actually trying to fit both of these into the show would require cutting some other stuff down for time, and it would complicate scene transitions and maybe fuck with the overall pacing. Really, this is more a thought experiment than anything else. I'm just glad to have it out of my head after it's been brewing there for multiple days, There's other stuff I'd change if I were to do a full edit of the script, sure, but these are the big things that really would've made the show click for me on the level tgwdlm does.

[theinkphantom]

I want to know what happened between phantom blot and his parents on 2798 topolino because I can't find this story if you have it as cbr please send it or you can tell the story on big post please

Thank you for your question!

Well, it doesn't have too much in this version, but i will try explain this story in a resume and it has two parts. Technically, these stories is part of a series focusing of soccer. Where Duckburg and Mouseton kids face off each other on this sport.

In Topolino e la maxi-minicoppa, the mouseton kids do soccer and there's "Blot", in which he plays as soccer guardian.

Then Mickey meets a boy named Gattoso (who is based on a child star of Italian soccer.) and befriends him, the problem being that he's rather rough and awkward. He breaks windows and makes weird proverbs.

In any case, the mayor of mouseton is annoyed and jealous of the mayor of duckburg's soccer behavior (based on the other story on duck kids this time) and decides to hold a tournament to recruit the best mouseton kids players to compete with them. Of course Mickey and his friends are excited about the tournament, Pete and his uncle Pigfoot, are also thrilled for the money they can get from it. But for Blot and his parents it's an another story.

Of course he probably didin't tell them he did play soccer before with Mickey group, but he made a promise to his parents to never get dirty. After that promise, it tries to make the tournament (in using shady method like dazzling his opponents with mirror-like images behind the goal.) and managed to succeed. But not Mickey and Gattoso (which he broke the mayor's window), but they can always training with them.

Regardless, the city's mayor displays the brand-new cup and showed to the media, and Pete and his uncle with blot were very interested to steal it, because they found out soccer is quite hard and challenging.

Blot observed Mickey and Gattoso who does a lot of training but again, Gattoso broke the mayor window again, but Blot got a plan when looking at it. So he shows the plan to the uncle of Pete. Technically, his scheme was stealing the big cup and using a magnifying glass mirror and put a small trophy instead.

Of course with his plan, the uncle of pete will go to the mayor's office to “replace” the broken window Gattoso did, (even they will only do with the window cup only) and steal the trophy, but Mickey and Gattoso noticed this, and saw Pete and Blot with the cup.

nevertheless and this time with Gattoso help, it managed to stop the car and broke the window of it, Pete and Blot are going to escape them, but are stopped by Gattoso soccer kick.

In the end, they are arrested, Mickey and Gattoso are admitted to the competition because of their efforts. And their family are so happy to this announcement.

In a another end, in the second part of the story who is Paperino e Topolino in: la finale, finalmente, Blot's family punished him because they broke their deal, and Blot wants revenge against everyone.

In any case, his plan is to put a device on the cup, which will blow a big storm of a black subtance. (like somewhat dirt)

In short, he put his plan into action before the two teams (duckburg and mouseton) came and when they do the competition, he try to activate it but it failed and get arrested and we don't know what happens after this.

Despite some plot holes (like why he called Macchia/Blot before he got dirty even his past as a spy after that and that mickey no longer remembers him for some reason.), this is quite an interesting take for Blot past. But anyway we don't know what happened with Blot and his parents, but they cut ties probably.

Also, for bonus, but in Darkenblot the movie (a little spin-off story from this series) which quite parody darkenblot by a movie, they refer or give an allusion somewhat of these stories on how he got into a villain.

[tinyvesselhearts]

(Egon x You) Thing Is: Chapter 12

“Oh, shit. It’s the Mayor.”

Your eyes snap open.

You sit up in an instant, hypervigilant, surrounded by dust particles lit by soft sunlight. It takes a minute before you realize that everything’s actually okay. The sheets are a crumpled ball of warmth, the sun seeps in through the window. It’s the station again, the sightly ashy ceiling and the familiar siren wailing from downstairs. All you remember from yesterday are scraps: an emotion, a fear, an ache. And yet, here you are— safe, dressed in your own pajamas, all alone in Egon’s bed. No reason to panic. No reason at all.

Your heart’s still racing. Breaths are heavy. Something’s changed, something’s off. You can’t put your finger on it and that’s enough to take your peace away.

You lay back down. Bury your face in the pillow. It’s fine, it’s alright. Maybe you’re experiencing some ghostly haziness— it’s not like you’re taken over by an ethereal alien every day, after all. A quick nap should iron it out. Just a few more minutes and you’ll be as good as new. They boys will understand. Just this once…

You’re just about to drift away when familiar blurry silhouette approaches your cot.

“Thank God you’re awake”, Ray whispers, leaning over your bed. “The Mayor’s here. Pete’s trying to talk him out of a lawsuit. Stay here, alright?”

You prop on your elbows and turn your head around, then squint— because, heck, if he’s trying to wake you up, why is Ray whispering? It’s late morning— must be around nine, nine- thirty or so…

Wait, what?

“The Mayor?”

“Yeah, yeah”, says Ray. “Don’t worry, He comes and goes. Peter’s got a way with politicians.”

A heated conversation rumbles through the walls. Pete’s voice sounds as confident and cheerful as ever but the Mayor— presumably— doesn’t seem pleased at all. New Yorks’ representatives stop by from time to time so it’s not unusual but dread creeps up your back the moment you realize…

“…Oh, shite. Is it about the mansion?”

“Yeah, we’re kind of screwed. Too bad we didn’t get a chance to get a second look but hey, you weren’t officially there so we’ve got you covered.”

You frown, blink a few times, then sit up.

Shouldn’t he be more bothered by this? Right, the boys get in trouble with the law on a regular basis. Ray’s probably used to it by now, that he’s entire demeanor is relaxed, casual— if only slightly annoyed (ah, yes, authorities, how convenient). They always wiggle their way out somehow. That’s what they do. But if their luck runs out one day, the charges will snowball into life behind bars— and the mere thought makes you flinch.

“But I was there”, you look at him. “Saw what happened. You were doing your job! Can’t I testify?”

“No. Zip, zip, I mean it. We were all seen at the hospital that night, you didn’t even go to the emergency room. And that’s good! It’s great! That means you’re in charge of the case if we get incarcerated.”

Your face falls.

“You must be joking.”

“Hah! I wish I was.” Ray laughs, hands on his hips, then immediately turns sheepish. “Hey! Not that I don’t believe in you, no offense—”

“No, no, none taken!” You wave your palms. “I agree. Let’s hope Peter saves the day.”

A bang of some distant door is followed by Peter’s loud voice. You look at Ray with wide eyes but he shrugs.

“Meh, he’s doing alright. The Mayor failed to maintain the mansion for decades. It’s somewhat on him, too.”

Ah, that’s why Ray seems so casual about this. That’s understandable— the guys are recurringly raided by a variety of government officials so today must feel like a regular workout. For you, however, it’s a lot. You have no idea how long you’ve slept but it feels like a giant leap in time. It’s refreshing, yes— the lightness in your heart, as if yesterday’s events happened a lifetime ago— but a shadow is hanging over your head. A foot in the door to newfound peace.

“Nah. I gotta dress up”, you say. “I’m hungry. I need to do… something. Anything. Everything.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Ray pats your arm with a wide, warm hand, flashes a genuine smile and leaves the room. There’s some yelling coming from downstairs, some door slamming, screeching of wheels, and then— expectedly— Peter adds his two cents because there is no possible way he’d give up having the last word.

It takes you two minutes to get out of bed. Six to freshen up. Three to determine whether you should or should not change into Egon’s clothes (because it’s been okay so far, it’s a thing) but ultimately, you decide that no— not this time, you should really get out of his hair. Your crumpled sleeping two- piece has to do. It’s decent. Ray didn’t comment on your sleeping circumstance, maybe Peter won’t either.

The very instant you leave the room, you see him— Egon— he’s alright, he’s okay— who climbs the stairs and freezes the moment your eyes lock.

His face is blank. He’s quiet. All the courage you’ve mustered evaporates in a snap.

When he finally speaks, it’s as casual as ever.

“You’re awake.”

“You’re alive.”

“As I said, it’s difficult to die”, he states. “Extraordinarily so.”

“Yeah, sure, but nothing about yesterday was ordinary. It’s—"

“…in the past.” He approaches you, lifts your chin and smirks. “We’re moving on.”

You keep looking at him as he inspects your features. The touch is gentle. Systematic. Careful and you know it all too well: it’s exclusive to his tinkering, the machines and inventions, only present when he’s left to his own devices. Toprecious things. That’s new. Whatever happened while he was busting the ghost out of you must’ve shaken him up.

“Mhm. As I suspected. Beautiful.” He straightens. “You may experience headaches, fatigue, dizziness and muscle pains but otherwise you’re perfectly fine. I recommend aspirin with your breakfast.”

“…I’ll take some. Thanks.”

“Do you have a moment? I would like to show you something in the lab.”

You nod, absent- minded, rubbing at your chin where his fingers lingered a moment ago. That’s unusual. Egon’s never been so direct with physical contact… has he?

Whatever your mind is trying to push through, in reality it’s probably nothing. You must be experiencing some spiritual jetlag: slow thinking and clouded judgement, all spiced up with a throng of unanswered questions and guilty conscience. Egon’s right though. You’re all moving on and it’s high time you caught up.

You walk past the garage, where Ray and Winston are leaving in Ecto- 1. Peter’s guiding them out, gesturing to let go of the siren for once— the Mayor’s people must still be in the area. Janine’s on the phone, rummaging through the drawers with such urgency she doesn’t pay attention to you walking by. That’s what it looks like: another day at the Ghostbusters’. There’s nothing out of the ordinary, to the extent you’re forced to question whether the spiritual influence you experienced the day prior wasn’t a dream.

“Ray wasn’t surprised to see me”, you say at the last flight of stairs. “Do the boys know?”

“All things pertaining to the case, yes.” Egon admits, eyes down. “I apologize for taking such liberty. It’s a major turning point and I couldn’t withhold this information. It’s the sixth time we’re getting called about amphibious ghostlike creatures roaming through New York. It’s a plague.”

“Mm. The Mayor was unwelcome, I take it.”

He throws you a brief look, then proceeds. “Do you feel any different?”

You ponder, tailing Egon descending the familiar stairs. The door to the lab is ajar, which never happens: an undeniable proof of how thrilled he is with the discovery.

“Yes. It’s quiet in my mind, for once. No whispers at the back of my head, no need to burst out crying for no reason. It’s something.”

“Feelings of uneasiness? Anxiety? Existential dread?”

“No. I’m just grateful to be alive.”

“I share the sentiment. In a day or two, we might purge the mansion for good. What we have at our disposal now is powerful. Needless to say, I’m thrilled beyond what my hormones usually allow”, he pauses at the door. “After you.”

You enter the laboratory. The cool light enveloping tools and papers is refreshing, clean air clashing against the heat and steam clouding in the garage. On Egon’s desk, far away from the microscope, there’s a huge, ugly helmet you recognize— the wires tangled in a knot only Egon himself can understand, odd antennas protruding from its top. You walk up, reach and touch the glowing tips.

A pillar of warmth stands right behind you. Egon’s breath tickles the hair on your neck. Dust particles hang still in the air between your bodies, so close you almost touch— like when he helps you gear up— when you use his microscope— like so many times before. You can’t see him at all now. Your eyes are focused on the weird, pointy device but when Egon’s forearm brushes yours, your stare shifts just enough to observe his hand rest on the contraption.

This dance between you two has been going on for a long time. It’s not like this, it never is, but you struggle to keep your breathing even.

“Remember the Collective?” He murmurs. “Turns out their consciousness, being shared through the ether, is prone to alterations. Removal. Addition. Substitution, in an almost surgical manner. I made this device for that specific purpose. Peter called it a yap- cap but it’s more nuanced than that. Take a look.”

He switches on the translating pad. Some symbols appear on the screen before a thin, vertical line pulses on the far right. To your surprise, he uses the buttons to type: I want to go home now and all it takes is one press of a single green key to translate the phrase into Eldritch symbols. Just like that, an electric wave pulses through the antennas, the helmet charges with power and glows with blue light. It’s that simple.

“The message is transmitted through the ether to the helmed recipient and travels until it finds an ectoplasmic structure. A ghost can’t distinguish it from the Collective so it builds a narrative around the inserted thought and accept it as a fact.”

Unbelievable.

“You literally made the ghost think it wanted to go home.”

“Correct.”

“And… it just left home.”

“Exactly.”

“Egon… that’s fantastic.”

“I’m wildly aware”, he grins.

You bark out a laugh. The helmet looks like a giant jellyfish. The pad is a literate calculator. All the mystery, the horror, the haunting— all the destruction and pain brought by Eldritch horrors— everything undone by a designer’s worst nightmare: a glowing sea urchin hat. The yap- cap, as Peter calls it. Ah, that one’s going to stick.

Egon is a genius. The simplicity of it disarms you. In this rapidly changing world, the cybernetic reality where every technology requires a cascade of complex developments just to come up with a novelty, Egon thought the simplest way to deter some ancient ghosts was to talk them into defeat. It couldn’t be more straightforward. All data were copied and transferred, every bit of the Eldritch language, the translating software and the device itself was made here, in this lab. He’s done it all with Ray’s help. This man is a genius but chooses the simplest solutions.

The simplest solutions.

“…Can it be used on humans? To… Hack us into thinking differently?”

Egon is silent and you can feel his stern eyes on your back. You realize how that sounds and God it’s awful— but that’s not what you meant so you rush to clarify.

“I mean, is it possible to erase some memories? To change what we’re susceptible to?” You swallow. “To let go of… destructive tendencies?”

“Technically, yes. But the outcome is unforeseeable. Whatever ends up happening, one change could affect your entire life. Mistakes, however unwanted and painful, shape who we are in the end”, Egon’s voice is serious. “Thankfully, you were not affected.”

“What if I wanted to be affected?” You turn around, not daring to meet Egon’s eyes. “You were right when you said I was attracted to the paranormal. And I hate it. My uncle is the closest I have to a dad now and I can’t keep doing this without feeling guilty about it, about betraying him. He’s never going to approve of me getting involved with you, guys. I just… I could fix this. I—"

“Look at me.”

You do.

His eyes are warm. Steady, understanding. Pupils are wide, graced with the dim light surrounding you. Some distant shadow blurs his locks into a dark cloud. Your own reflection lurks in his glasses. The sight takes your breath away.

“You don’t need to be fixed because you’re not broken”, Egon murmurs. “Don’t expect him to approve your every choice. Love doesn’t work this way.”

“But I want it to”, you whisper like an absolute fool and a single tear rolls down your cheek because your wish— so pure, so simple— doesn’t hold merit. It’s pathetic, a lost cause. He’s right and you know it.

Egon raises an eyebrow, eyes warm and playful.

“Do you, really?”

You blink a few times, bow your head down and laugh. It’s quiet and breathy. It’s full of grief— and pain, and sadness, and acceptance, and joy. You wipe the stray tear with the back of your hand. Only then, broken and mended, are you able to lift your gaze and meet Egon’s unwavering stare again.

“No, you’re right. I’ll give you that one.”

He smiles.

“Do you want to raid the mansion with us tomorrow? Ray’s setting up the car, we’ll gear you up.”

“Won’t I become an offender as well? Ray said…”

“We’re the Ghostbusters. We’ll cover up for you.”

“You’ll get in trouble.”

“It’s worth it.”

Words get stuck in your throat. The circumstances are different but intimate enough so before you have the chance to overthink every little gesture, you lean in and press a gentle peck on his jaw. He inhales— good?— frowns— bad?— so you step back with a tight smile.

“Thanks for everything. I mean it. I owe you.”

Long fingers wrap around your hand. Egon’s stare doesn’t waver— not now, not yesterday, not ever— as he lifts your fingertips with a gentle motion and (in a mind- boggling, unprecedented turn of events) presses his lips to your skin— and it lingers— it lingers— it stays.

It’s a kiss.

He pulls away. The air he breathes is warm.

“You owe me nothing.”

_____________

HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE ANY MAJOR MISTAKES- IF I DID, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY!

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 080 Hobgoblin's Return and Spider-Kittens (SSM 84-86)

MASTERPOST

This time...

Well, that's interesting! I like Felicia running on her wire there.

But also...

????

Felicia's done being boring. It's the day she gets released from the hospital! Her mom's there and gives her blessings to Spidey. Thankfully, Felicia's bills are completely nonexistent thanks to Spidey's great reputation. What a change!

At the Bugle, Jameson is on air and tells the whole city, nay, the country about the disappearance of a mayor candidate's baby. Spidey investigates.

There's a nice page with that type of panel that look really good, in spite of the issue's rather wonky drawings.

While the kidnapper gets in trouble with local junkies, Spidey has an... interesting interaction.

Hmm. Interesting indeed. Not sure I dislike it...

Conchita's baby died, and taking issue with that, Conchita decided to kidnap the candidate's baby. Then the junkies stole said baby. We're touching hard subjects this time! Didn't expect that.

Spidey finds the baby, but...

What the heeeeell is this issue.

There's still some comedy at least. But it's definitely darker than usual.

Anyway.

In #85, the Hobgoblin is back!

In the credits, Stern (who created this villain) is thanked for his plot assist.

Ah yes, Sam Raimi's Green Goblin Junior. I know of him.

Transforming like a magical girl...

By the way, I really love the shading used on the glass, it's very cool.

Meanwhile, the writer remembers we have a great cast! Peter's invited to Liz and Harry's big announcement (oh no, I have an idea where this is going).

Looking snazzyyyyy, Peter! I'm happy to see Flash (great color combination!), Sha-Shan (!!! I missed you girl), Ned and Betty too <3 I missed them... but SOMEBODY's missing.

Liz's homely look (how did she grow so many hair in so little time?) and ample dress is not very subtle.

Following Betty's urging for the reveal, Liz says they DID invite MJ (Ha! She's treated better than by previous writers), but she's too eager to wait for her. Liz says "Harry and I are going to be a mommy!". I didn't expect Harry's transition, but good for her!

And that's when MJ arrives, saying she loves (other people's) babies.

This is really cute. And note Pete's empty chair next to him... SOME people might have tried something there...

But for real, it's touching to see Liz and MJ have tears of joy. We all know the feeling of seeing someone you weren't sure would come and you haven't seen in a while.

Flash and Sha-Shan don't seem as joyful, though.

It is INTERESTING that you would mention the Hobgoblin in the same bubble as Flash. Would be pretty ironic that Flash's problem would be related to Harry's, wouldn't it? Dramatically ironic.

Great colors. Flash obviously doesn't want to reminisce about his homoerotic days. I understand. It'll come back when you're 50 and have 7 children, just you wait!

Peter and MJ quickly reminisce and figure that at the time of Peter's proposal, neither was ready. True, but to be fair the writing at that time wasn't the greatest. MJ still teases Peter though. Maybe her feelings for him haven't disappeared...

Speaking of which, Spidey goes to see Felicia.

Weird, knowing how THAT turns out...

Lmao. This is a hilarious panel.

Still, they have a nice dinner and go on patrol together.

Well that's one thing that will get rectonned for sure.

Spidey's less than enthused. It means Felicia has no power. She's fragile!

Then the Hobgoblin arrives with his new super strength and immediately learns that his two foes are lovers. Nooot a good thing.

The two heroes have trouble coordinating, and although Felicia's capable, the Hobgoblin flies away, comforted in his might.

Now, issue #86...

Alright, sure.

The first part has a meta plot about Marvel editorial, and there's a great running joke about the Vision appearing because the word vision has been mentioned.

Anyway, Spidey and Felicia keep being stressed about their whole relationship, then Spidey decides to show where he works and they stop next to the Bugle.

Excellent question. Excellent panel. The art is really great, by the way.

Just like me, Felicia has trouble understanding the concept of "working".

So they get attacked by the Fly, who crashes in Jameson's office.

Hilarious!

Even the flashback explaing the Fly's identity is in that style, it's glorious.

See the "every 4 panel comedy can be funnier in less than that" showcase because we did not need that last panel, but the rest is hilarious.

Hahahahaha. Jameson does NOT want baby Spider-Kittens.

The Fly is neutralized, and then we get back to the meta office.

The issue ends in traditional style, with Spidey taking Black Cat home...

That makes sense!

Next (Spectacular) issue: Spidey unmasks! But there will be a few posts before that.

[disregardcanon]

Toh npmd au for my own personal amusement

First thing’s first: character assignments 

Amity as Steph 

Luz as Pete 

Willow and Gus as Ruth and Richie

Boscha as Max 

Hunter as Grace 

Odalia and Belos both as parts of Mayor Lauter

Setting details: it’s still in Gravesfield, CT which still has its same Puritan vs witches branding. The mascot is a pilgrim and that IS Gus in the suit. Who has more school spirit than Augustus Porter? (No one.) 

So a few changes I’m making to make the toh cast slot a bit easier into the framework 

Belos is a fundamentalist preacher who’s raising his “niece”. Yes he DID kill Caleb and Charlotte. No one knows tho. It was lords in black related. Does that make it better? eh

Hunter is trans masc and a TOTAL egg. Right now, he’s a very enthusiastic little warrior for purity culture. Yes, he’s trying to get the dance canceled, YES he’s bullied a lot for being a “nerdy prude”. Not gonna dead name him but. He wouldn’t realize he’s a guy until significantly after the events of this musical 

Luz has NOT been in amity’s class since the 1st grade. She only moved here a year ago

Amity is still the mayor’s daughter and she and Boscha used to date. Amity’s stopped actively bullying people after they broke up and she’s felt like, guilty about it, but she’s never seen how much more.. Physical? Boscha’s bullying got than hers did. Sure, Amity was a queen of psychological warfare, but she never beat people up in the parking lot. 

Luz moves to Gravesfield during her junior year of high school. Amity and Boscha on the cusp of breaking up, so things are changing in their social hierarchy. For one, Amity is backing away from bullying and the spotlight and for two Boscha is getting WORSE. She when Luz moves in and aligns herself with “half-a-woman Willow” and Steve Urkel.. She’s thrown to the bottom of the school hierarchy immediately. Looney Lulu is what comes to mind first. 

Enter Boscha: literal monster, best quarterback in the school’s history and the first girl (she works that angle as hard as she can), and QUEEN of the school. She’s amity’s ex and like… mainly over her. 

Okay, who are we kidding? She’s not over her. Not at all. Boscha decides to put all her “trying to make amity jealous and take me back” energy into seducing amity’s least favorite student: local nerdy prude, preacher’s “niece” wittebane. 

Hunter and amity do NOT get along. At all. They’re duking it out for the valedictorian spot, their respective guardians are pitting them against each other, and they both just find the other… insufferable. 

So trying to bag the “girl” who’s the forbidden fruit and maybe making amity mad enough to take her back with it too? It’s worth a try, at least. 

Amity, meanwhile, is failing theater. She’s getting very frustrated and flustered and asks luz to be her scene partner so maybe she doesn’t fall on her ass. Luz is nervous because this is Amity Blight, super cool girl who used to be very mean to willow and now isn’t really a bully but is just? Way cooler than they are? Amity’s able to talk her into it. 

The teacher heaps a LOT of praise onto them and their chemistry and promises them good grades in the future if they keep working with each other. This leads to amity calling luz and trying to set up the pasqualli’s date. 

Boscha, meanwhile, is cornering hunter near the gym where he’s protesting the concept of dancing. He gets freaked out when boscha starts getting very very flirty and he gets really flustered because? Girl? Girl flirt with me? Also a girl? Hahahaha NO I AM NOT GAY I AM NOT- and he’s having a little sexuality crisis. Willow, who’s done putting up with boscha’s shit right here in the school building, hurls a waterbottle across the room in between them. 

Hunter SPRINTS away because OH BOY I WAS EXPERIENCING SOMETHING STRANGE AND UNWELCOME NO THANK YOU NO THANK YOU- and then he finds out that newly buff and gaining more confidence willow is the one who saved him. And she’s just like oh yeah anytime. No one should corner other people like that. And his little heart is going bEEPBEEPBEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEPPP and the rest of his body is not calming down either, ya know? 

Unwanted sexual attractions experienced by local nerdy prude today: 2. Fantasies experienced in the bathtub: 2 very, very different ones in a single sequence. 

Luz gets the shit kicked out of her at pasqualli’s because she runs into boscha before she finds amity and she’s like no i’m not gonna cower AMITY BLIGHT INVITED ME HERE! And. that. DOES NOT GO WELL 

Willow is ready to go to war over this when they get to school the next morning because she WARNED luz that amity wasn’t to be trusted and look? Look what happened! And luz is like yeah you also said i should stand up for myself- and willow’s like husssshhh. 

They plan a prank in the bathroom that goes very poorly. Hunter writes gus a detention slip for being in the girls’ bathroom (he should have written himself one too!) and then they prank the shit out of Boscha. 

To the point she. You know. Dies. then they have to dismember her at hunter’s urging! Hooray!!!!

Cue peace and love at the high school :) until poor gus dies. I’m sorry dude! You’re the mascot you were cursed. Of course the quarterback was going after you first. 

Boscha goes after luz second because she’s the dweeb who thought that she could steal boscha’s girl. Luckily for luz and amity both, they were together at this point and they RUN as fast as they can. Luz demands they go find willow because she’s probably the next victim, and they find her mid-boscha kill. She lost an arm because boscha was trying to take the “half-a-” thing to its logical, puny extreme. They rush her off to the hospital. The police come to question them. 

And then pastor wittebane comes with hunter in tow. He pulls something with the police about the parks wanting him to perform a protestant equivalent of anointing of the sick on their ailing daughter. 

Pastor wittebane very clearly knows what happened. 

“I thought you were gonna keep the beans cool!” Amity demands. 

“I couldn’t,” hunter tells her. 

“Fucking useless, wittebane,” amity mutters. 

Pastor wittebane glares at all of them. “You are going to get in my car and come with me.” 

“That sounds bad,” luz says, “my mom told me to never be one on one with religious officials.” 

“Fine,” he says, “if you’d like to be the next victim, be my guest.” 

They all get in the car, except Willow, who’s bed-bound. (Luckily, since she’s already in the hospital, boscha thinks of her as less of a kill count priority.) 

Belos takes them out ot the middle of the woods and makes them dig up the black book. Then boscha kills him! We DO get boscha killing belos, so i think that’s a win. They flee the scene, run into some cops, then make it to the high school to complete the ritual. 

We’ve got amity, luz, and hunter on the floor of the gym summoning the evil teletubbies. The evil teletubbies REALLY want amity to kill luz. They get to have their cool as i think i am reprise <3 and then the bullet leaves the gun and boscha catches it. Because she is very, very excited to do luz in personally. She’s still debating whether or not she’s gonna end amity, but luz IS going to die. In front of amity. For absolutely certain. 

Boscha’s getting ready to take care of another nerdy prude when hunter bursts out like HELLO YES! I AM READY TO HAVE THE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! And boscha’s just like… whut? And then he gets very flirty and goes along with the stuff that she was saying earlier, and he’s.. Legit into it. Sure, flirting with hunter was half to spite amity, but she’s still very turned on by the idea of corrupting the perfect angel church girl into having hot and heavy sex with her on the football field. And making amity watch? That’s a bonus. Maybe she’ll get a threesome out of it. 

Hunter sends boscha to hell with the power of his jesus freak virginity, luz and amity have sixteen different crises, and willow lives to hear the whole crazy tale. Luz and willow mourn gus, hunter goes through the weird process of mourning his uncle while also realizing he’s glad that the guy’s gone and gets to know the shoulder ANGEL part of the shoulder angel and shoulder devil fantasy he was experiencing, and amity hides the book away in her own personal safe to try to keep it away from bad actors. 

It doesn’t keep it safe from mayor odalia blight, but… that’s not going to be that big of a deal.. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!