#Ta-Stinkin-Da!

[risestarkissomega]

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...uh, who is he talking to?

[Next] It is I: Part 2

[Master Post]

○○○○ 💜 RiseStarKiss Studios on Youtube | My Kofi Tip Jar 💜

[risestarkiss]

It is I...

[employee052]

BOY- I SAY- BOY, YOU GOTTA STOP LETTIN' HIM CONTROL YA DARN LIFE LIKE THIS BOY. YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH YOUR OWN DOORS YA HEAR? ARE YOU GONNA LET THAT STINKIN OLD GEEZER TELL YA HOW TA LIVE YA LIFE BOY? YOU GOTTA PUSH AGAINST HIM BOY, PUSH HIM LIKE DA DARN BUTTONS YOU PUSH ON THAT THERE KEYBOARD BOY! NOW I SAY- BOY I SAY- GO OUT THERE AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO BOY, FIND YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BOY, ITS CALLED THE STANLEY PARABLE FOR A REASON BOY!

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Conspiracy Unmasked

Ohohoho here we go >:-D

Merry like “hmm, I can tell something’s fishy about this, but we’ll have to talk about it later”

The Brandybucks being described as “virtually a small independent country” is GreatTM X-D

“…as a matter of fact, [the Bucklanders] were not very different from the other hobbits of the Four Farthings. Except in one point: they were fond of boats, and some of them could swim.”

*Phil Dragash Merry voice intensifies* I LOVE BOATS Y’KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE BOATS SO MUCH I MEAN THEY’RE SO COOL AND BOATY AND THEY FLOAT

Aww, Sam’s already getting a bit homesick :-(

Gollummmm

Frodo: “I mean we already ate, but we could eat again.” Merry: “Say no more, fam”

Frodo seeing Bilbo’s things in the new house and being “sharply reminded” of him :-C Hello it is once again Crying About Frodo and Bilbo O’Clock

BATH SECTION YEAAAAAHHHH

“Which order shall we go in? Eldest first or quickest first? You’ll be last either way, Master Peregrin.” HAHAHA GETTIM FRODO

And Merry like “excuuuuse me, you should know by now that I’m better at planning and logistics than that; there are THREE tubs >8-D”

And Pippin splashing Frodo with the bath water 🤣 This whole section is so stinkin’ CUTE

I, too, cannot properly dry my hair until I am out of the steam in the bathroom. Frodo is the most relatable ever.

Merry has such dad energy 🤣 “You’d better clean up your mess, Pippin, before you get any supper!”

The squabbling over the mushrooms haha

Ooooohh The Talk is here

It honestly makes so much sense that Pippin is the one talking when Frodo refuses to. Frodo is trying to keep secrets, and Pippin has zero filter.

Also Merry reading Frodo like a book is SO GOOD

“You are miserable, because you don’t know how to say good-bye. You meant to leave the Shire, of course. But danger has come on you sooner than you expected, and now you are making up your mind to go at once. And you don’t want to. We are very sorry for you.”

THAT’S MY SMART BOI

I can’t wait to draw this part

“You do not understand! You must go—and therefore we must, too. Merry and I are coming with you. Sam is an excellent fellow, and would jump down a dragon’s throat to save you, if he did not trip over his own feet; but you will need more than one companion in your dangerous adventure.” Awww, Pippin!!

Also the foreshadowing, wow

Hahaha Merry presenting Sam like “TA-DA! Our chief spy!!”

Sam: “Gandalf did say to take someone you could trust, sir!” Frodo: “But I can’t trust anyone, apparently!” Sam: :-C

Oh oh oh it’s this part…!!

“It all depends on what you want. You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin - to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours - closer than you can keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo. Anyway: there it is. We know most of what Gandalf has told you. We know a good deal about the Ring. We are horribly afraid - but we are coming with you; or following you like hounds.”

MERRY MY LAD I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

That’s true friendship right there

Frodo like “I am NEVER trusting that you are actually asleep ever again” 🤣

“Three cheers for Captain Frodo and Company!” I’m going to melt 🥹

Merry once again being the G.O.A.T. by having the ponies prepared

“It seems to have been a very efficient conspiracy.” HECK YEAH IT WAS

I love that Fatty has barely talked through the whole chapter except to blurt “NOT THE OLD FOREST” at the very end

Merry continues to have Dad Energy by breaking up the almost-argument between Pippin and Fatty

Oooof the dream about the Sea…

[chil-aglia]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞 |ROTTMNT| (Leo X Male OC)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭

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Donnie had hurriedly called upon his brothers and Adriaen, claiming that he had something magnificent to show them. It was late, but the group weren’t all that tired anyways, so they followed Donnie deep into the lair, a large curtain visible as everyone excluding Donnie took a seat on some cardboard boxes.

A stage lights turn on and focus on Donnie who is standing in front of this strange and large curtain.

“Brethren, before you is my masterpiece. The culmination of my myriad skills united in one glorious enterprise. Gentleman, behold the—“ He had proudly begun to say but was interrupted when Leo excitedly perked up.

“Oh, is it the drill? Is it that drill you made when we were fighting those silverfish?”

“Uh, no. No, that’s still in beta.”

“Lame!” Raph chimed in, grumbling to himself, meanwhile Adriaen let out a bored yawn, he didn’t mean for it to slip out, but Donnie was dragging this on.

But this is better. Much, much better. I give you the...”

“Is it even cooler, even bigger drill?!” Mikey squeak out, happily sitting on the floor in between Raph and Adriaen.

“No, not a drill.”

“Donnie, I mean this in the nicest way possible but get on with it.” Adriaen rolls his eyes before focusing his attention on the soft-shell turtle who sighs and points at the curtain behind him.

“This is the big surprise.”

He pulls a rope, and the curtain goes up to reveal an empty sewer tunnel.

“Ta-stinkin’-da!”

“Yay! A sewer tube full of nothing!”

Upon hearing the comment from Mikey, Donnie turns around in shock, “Huh?!” He had let out, looking around in a panic.

“I’m so proud of you.” Mikey continued to praise Donnie, everyone knew he was just trying to be supportive, but Leo and Raph couldn’t help but snort in amusement, as Adriaen crossed his arms and raised his eyes.

“What? Where did it go?! I built an amazing vehicle out of the moon buggy. Who stole our Turtle Tank?!” Donnie yells out, falling to his knees dramatically.

“Turtle tank?” Adriaen repeated his words, as Donnie growls in annoyance at the disappearance of his invention. “Let’s go! We're finding my tank one way or another!” He declared out, grabbing his tech bō and marching off. Leo groans and slides over to Adriaen, resting his chin on the black masked turtle's shoulder. “You think if I knock him out, we can skip the mission?” He mumbles, only to earn a light smack upside his head from Adriaen.

”Let’s go Leo.” He says in scolding tone, dragging said turtle along by the tails of his mask.

The group headed topside, in a mission to locate this missing turtle tank that Donnie so proudly calls his ‘baby’ to the point where Adriaen considered if Donnie was actually a little crazy.

They land on a rooftop, all looking around in search of the invention, even if they didn’t know what it looked like, but they tried to find anything that was out of the ordinary.

“Hey, this is a real problem, Donnie. Not only did they steal your tank thing—“ Raph said, only to be cut off by Mikey who smiles as innocently as ever, “Now you can finish the drill!” He exclaims, before Raph gently pushes him to the side so he could finish his own sentence he started earlier.

“—But they must know where our lair is. It must be somebody who’s penetrated our inner circle.”

Huh…yeah that is rather concerning.

“Maybe it’s someone we’ve known...for years.” Donnie hisses with narrowed eyes, pointing in a direction, “Come my fellow turtles, we must pay our human friend a visit.” He announces, activating some sort of device on his battle shell where little jets were seen as he hovered in the air and flew off.

”Seriously? April wouldn’t do anything like that.” Adriaen tries to convince, him and the others following after Donnie who made a beeline for April’s apartment. It was surprisingly a short distance away from April’s place, as the turtles got into the building where Donnie suddenly kicks the door in as the others jump in, looking around for the tank under pillows and rugs. Adriaen stayed near the wall, leaning against it with a deadpan look.

“Alright, you! Where’s our Turtle Tank?” Donnie accusingly points at April who blinked at them, Mayhem on her lap as she forced out a smile.

“Hi, Donnie. You have nine seconds to tell me why you just broke down my door.”

“Someone stole Donnie’s Turtle Tank.” Leo informs, poking up from behind his brother, but April could only laugh dangerously and gives them all an angry smile.

“Oh, I see. So as your best friend you naturally suspect me?”

“She gets it.” Mikey smiles with a pleased tone, Adriaen grabbing Mikey and pulling him back to prevent him digging a bigger grave for him. “Oh, don’t give me that. You’re the only one who could’ve taken it!” Donnie scoffs, but when he turns to stare at April he was taken back and now showing some little fear when April stood up and grabbed her baseball bat, tapping it in her palm.

“3... 2...1....”

One by one she smacked the brothers, hard, with the bat, earning yelps and groans, followed by a yelling Leo.

“No, why?!”

April stared at the brothers who were in a pile, in a daze no doubt from the baseball bat. She turns to face Adriaen who immediately puts his hands up to show no harm or threat to her, indicating a silent white flag. “I told them that you wouldn’t steal Donnie’s tank.” He truthfully told, April eyed him but nods a few seconds later, she knew that Adriaen would be the one to tell her the truth.

”Well at least one of you has a brain.”

She walks back to the pile of turtle before she knocked them out her window and into the alley below. Adriaen watching and making his way over as he climbed out her window.

”Sorry for the disturbance April.” He apologised on the behalf of the brothers, jumping down and landing in a crouching position. “Okay, good news. Our inner circle is secure.” Donnie spoke up, grunting in brief pain from the bat. Mikey shook his head as he looks up at April who was watching them all with a satisfied look.

“Sorry, April. Movie night later?”

“Your treat.”

April blows a kiss and closes the window, whereas Donnie immediately went back into detective mode, placing a hand under his chin. “Alright guys. Who’s our next suspect?” He questions out loud, Raph being the one to speak up next.

“It’s gotta be someone who knows we exist.”

Adriaen perked up briefly at the sound of something zooming by, followed by maniacal laughter, but when he turns around to check, he saw nothing.

Okay weird.

“Splinter!” Mikey called out as he plucks out one from his head, “Must be from April’s bat.” He shrugs his shoulders, but while the others didn’t seem to register the potential suspect, Adriaen widens his eyes when it dawned on him.

Of course. Splinter must have taken the tank!

“It’s gotta be another mutant and I know where we can find a mutant.” Leo smirks, as Adriaen tried to speak up to indicate to them that he knew who it was, only to be cut off when Leo placed his hands on his hips in pride.

”The mutant pizza place!”

The brothers quickly run off, Adriaen blinking at being completely ignored, growling to himself as he catches up to the others who later arrive at a secret entrance to Run of The Mill pizzeria. A brick wall.

“Stand back. Raph’s got this.”

Raphael does the signature gesture with his hand and the brick wall with skull graffiti magically turns into a portal.

“Okay, Leo do your thing.”

”Thing? What thing is even that—“

Leo smugly strides forward with utmost confidence, “Ah, the old smooth urban cop digging for info in a restaurant routine. Watch and learn, babies.” He announces, winking over to Adriaen who rolls his eyes and crossed his arms, he finally just decided to give up on telling the brothers and let them figure it out at their own pace.

Leo walks into the pizzeria and up to a skeleton man, Adriaen guessing this being the owner of the pizza restaurant.

“Say, Bone-man! Yo, you seem like you have your ear hole to the ground. What do you know about a certain missing Turtle tank?” Leo throws a slip of paper into the skeletons hand as a bribe, but when the skeleton guy examines it, he just seemed rather unimpressed.

“A Teddy Bear Town coupon? Well, I have no need for a Mayor Cuddlecakes.”

He crumples up the coupon and bounces it off Leo’s head, “Buh-bye.” The yokai added, walking away to carry on with his business. Leo groans and starts to ask a few nearby yokai for information.

“Hey there, green eye, know anything about a—“

A giant one-eyed yokai growls at Leo, indicating to him to not be disturbed.

“Okay...”

Leo tries talking to a small bat eared yokai that looks like a baby, crouching down and smiling softly as he puts on a babylike voice.

“Hey, widdle cutie. Bet you know—“

But the baby yokai screeches at him and Leo jumps back in fright.

“Oh, come on!”

Adriaen watched the red eared slider with a deadpan look, “Are you trying to tick off the Yokai?” He questions, Leo huffing and blushing in embarrassment at his un-coolness being seen by Adriaen of all people.

“Enough with your stupid routine, Leo! I’m finding out which of you wise guys took our tank or I’m smashing everything in this dump!”

Donnie, clearly annoyed, tries to flip a table but his strength was….well he couldn’t lift it. It was almost sad to watch in Adriaen’s eyes, who placed a hand over his face with a small groan of embarrassment.

“Hey, pepino. Your bad cop routine leaves something to be desired.” The skeleton guy spoke up, staring at the group with pity at Donnie’s attempts. “Oh, no, no-no, no. Ha-ha, we’re not the police.” Mikey assured, only for the skeleton yokai to grin upon hearing the sentence. “You’re not the police, you say?” He muses, before snapping his bony fingers.

Magical green fire appears around his head.

In one swift motion the turtles get thrown out back through the portal and onto their faces, even Adriaen who grunts as he rubs his head. Leo sits up and rubs his carapace, “Oh, man! Why can’t anyone throw us into a nice, soft pile of trash?” He grumbled, turning to Adriaen who scoffed and stood up, one hand on hip.

”Or not get thrown into trash at all.”

Raph sits up and groans, alongside Donnie who also sits up. “Hey, Donnie? Why didn’t you just put a tracking device in the Turtle Tank? You put a tracking device in salami paper.” The larger of the mutant turtles asks a valid question, “Ugh, I was getting to that. But…then he realized he did install the shopping cart protocol!” Donnie replied before gasping at the last part of his own sentence, waving his tech-bō and laughs triumphantly, pressing down a button.

Adriaen gave light narrowed look, “You could have done that at any time?” He hissed, as Donnie sheepishly chuckled and stood up, “It’s all good now. Let’s go!” He assured in a hurry, rushing off to the rooftops of New York.

”Is it wrong to punch him?” He mumbled under his own breath, Leo chuckling and patting his shoulder, “As much as I’d love to see that, I’m afraid that can’t happen.” He noted, Adriaen grumbling as he and Leo follow after the others.

They continue their search, this time with Donnie watching the virtual map on his tech-bō that indicates on where his tank was located.

“Okay, we should find the Tank if we just track the perimeter of the shopping cart protocol’s limit.”

“Whoa! Are we gonna need a protractor?”

“No.”

“An abacus?”

“Literally never.”

“A bag full of sausages!?”

Donnie eyed Mikey with disbelief, “Man, I don’t understand how your mind works. Hey, look, there the tank is.” He commented before stopping and pointing down at the street.

In almost an instant, Mikey gasps in awe at the tank below. 

“Whoa! Donnie! Nice work.”

“Oh-ho ho! She’s big and beautiful.”

Leo in a delight tone, shakes Adriaen by the shoulder, “We are gonna get a lot of parking tickets in that thing.” He muses, as Adriaen got out of his grip and eyed the tank as well in curiosity.

“I have to say I’m impressed Donnie.”

He then noticed Splinter who had exited the tank at some point and was walking over to a truck. 

“Uh, hey, guys? What’s Dad doing down there?” Leo inquires, also noticing his father, making Donnie groan and fume in realisation.

“Oh, I should’ve known he took it! You just can't trust adults these days. You leave the keys to your brainchild lying around and the next thing you know—“ 

Adriaen was first to see none other than Meat Sweats in the back of the food truck that Splinter was heading to. “We got trouble guys.” He informs Raph clicking his tongue when Splinter climbs into the truck.

“Hey, we gotta move or Dad’ll be toast. Or spread on toast. Let's go.”

In an instant they leap into action, landing on the floor and making their way to the truck.

They didn’t get to properly do anything when suddenly the truck speeds off.

“They’re getting away!”

The Turtles watch as the truck zooms off, Donnie then looking up at the tank.

“Turtle tank time!”

He pushes a button on a remote where the door opens up and everyone piles in, Donnie doing some of his technical works as the tank drives off after Meat Sweats. Adriaen stumbled back at the sudden movement in of the tank, briefly waving his arms out to get some balance, he landed into someone’s chest, his arms being held down steadily for his own balance.

”Whoa, that could have been ugly.” Leo lightly jokes, having been the one to catch Adriaen who this time blushed in embarrassment at the action.

“Thanks…”

The turtle tank pulls up behind the food truck and keeps on their tail.

“Now that autopilot is engaged, allow me to show you around my stand of the art Turtle Tank.” Donnie began, looking at everyone who stared back at him. “Over there is navigation down here is a - wait for it - bowling ball launcher. Strike! And there is the—“ He proudly and excitedly began to show off his invention, but Mikey stops him from continuing when he was getting himself some ice scream from the ice cream machine.

Soft serve ice cream machine!? Tell me there’s a sprinkles cannon.”

“Ooh, Good one! Rainbow and chocolate.”

The tank starts bumping into buildings and sidewalks, causing everyone to sway and hold onto anything to keep their balance. Leo gripped Adriaen as he pulled him closer to his chest with one hand while the other held onto a chair. Adriaen blinks with wide eyes when he felt his body being pressed against Leo more.

Whoa…uh, this is weird…

He didn’t understand why he was suddenly feeling embarrassed, his face heating up as he glanced at Leo who didn’t seem to take note of the situation and was going off on instinct.

“Donnie! Watch the road!”

“I wouldn’t need to if you would just take your seat…” 

Donnie grins smugly and pushes a button on his gauntlet, having a big red chair comes down from the ceiling, with Raph’s name being seen on some paper.

“It’s the giant red one with your name and your exact lumber settings!”

“That’s beautiful.” Raph mumbles in a hushed tone, “Captain! The con is yours.” Donnie fist bumps with Raph who sat down and takes the wheel, shifting it into high gear. ”Whoa! Are there more seats for us Don?” Leo turns to Donnie, still holding Adriaen closely as Donnie quickly pushes a button on his gauntlet, four more seats appearing from the sides, with everyone’s respective names plastered on them.

Adriaen pushed himself off of Leo, quickly sitting down in his reserved seat, which was in the middle, next to him on left would he Mikey and Donnie and then to his right was Leo.

The tank pulls up beside the trunk, Donnie grumbling and striding to Leo’s side as he pokes his head out of the window and sees Splinter’s tail whack Meat Sweats in the face.

“I know you're in there! Dad, I can see your tail! I –Agh!” He spluttered in anger before he breathes in and starts to talk in a sweat tone.

”Oh, Papa? If you surrender now, there shan't be any consequences.”

“Shan’t?” Adriaen repeats, looking to Donnie with a bewildered expression, “What do you think this is? Shakespeare?” He asks, making Donnie twitch as he was about to sassily say something back, but Raph then pokes his head out from the tanks window too.

“You’re with a very dangerous mutant, Pops! Meat Sweats just wants to eat you!”

The food truck speeds up once again, Meat Sweats swerving into the side of the tank, trying to push the Turtles off the road. The gang braced themselves from the hit as Adriaen looked around, “Is there any way to stop that damn truck?” He hissed, while Raph is back at the wheel again, chasing the food truck ahead of them, while the tank also drifts around corners.

Donnie sits in the firing cockpit and a targeting headset comes down and fits over his eyes.

“I’ll blast it with the boom cannons!”

The targeting on the view screen locks onto the truck but before he can fire, Leo appears on Donnie’s virtual screen.

“Donnie, Dad’s in that thing.”

The targeting headset recedes back into ceiling, as Donnie lightly smiled.

“Can I at least go semi-lethal?”

Mikey, Adriaen, Raph and Leo grumble angrily at Donnie for such a suggestion, in which the soft shell turtle dramatically sighs and looks away from the virtual screens.

“You never let me shine! Harpoon hooks it is.”

Donnie then launches harpoon hooks which strike the truck and pull their attaching chains taut. Leo and Mikey both jump out and balance on the chains. “Okay Sweaty Spaghetti. Give us our dad back!” Mikey yells at the truck that Meat Sweats was in, “Yeah, hand over the fugitive!” Donnie added in as well, making Adriaen let out a groan and rub his temple as he focuses on ahead.

Meat Sweats goes to the back of truck and opens the rear doors to see Leo and Mikey. “I don’t think so. You have a reservation in my stomach: a party of six, seating now.” He taunts, slamming a button as the top of the truck parts in two and folds to the sides, exposing the cages of critters.

“Oooh! Is he finally gonna teach us how to make that pork risotto?” Mikey perks up in eagerness, Adriaen lightly glaring at Mikey and his comment, “Focus Mikey!” He scolded, watching as how Meat Sweats takes a glove off and reveals his hands are actually tentacles.

“Since I assume you won’t go down without a fight, allow me to choose my weapon!”

With his disgusting tentacles, Meat Sweats begins to absorb a cobra snake’s energy as the reptile hisses and the pig mutant laughs evilly.

“He’s getting the mutant snake’s power!” Leo announced the obvious, before tensing up when Meat Sweats starts spitting green acid at Leo and Mikey, missing them and hitting the tank’s windshield. “Hey, watch out! It’s a spitting cobra!” Raph exclaims in panic, as Donnie had other worries on mind instead of his brothers that were outside.

“Hey, watch the paint bucko!”

Raph struggles to see out the window and the vehicles both swerve due to the chains keeping them together, he uses the windshield wipers to wipe away the acid.

“Donnie, what else you got in this thing?”

“Oh, I’ve been waiting to try this!”

The hood pops open on the taxi cab mounted on top of the tank and reveals a bowling ball launcher that he mentioned earlier. “Adriaen would you mind doing the honour?” He smirks to the black masked turtle who blinks before lightly grinning back and pressing the button, watching as it fires the bowling ball.

The bowling ball hits Meat Sweats in the face, dazing him for a moment. Leo chuckling and gazing back to the others, eyeing Adriaen as he gave a thumbs up. “Nice shot Adri!” He praised which had Adriaen feeling a little embarrassed before he shook his head to gather his thoughts and points at Meat Sweats who shakes off the hit from earlier and spits more of that cobra acid. 

“Watch out!”

“Oh no.”

“Ohmigosh!

Leo and Mikey dodge the acid while balancing on the chains, but unfortunately the acid eats through the chains, which break, and it sends Leo and Mikey flying and they land on the tank’s grill.

“Mikey, stop them!” Leo had yelled out to his younger brother who was quick to pull out his kusari-fundō.

“Power whip-jitsu!”

Mikey uses his mystical weapon and fire shoots past Meat Sweats who squeals in surprise. The weapon grabs onto the truck and the box turtle uses it and his own body to create a makeshift tether between the tank and the truck. Leo had managed to hop onto Mikey’s shoulders, smirking as he felt the need to taunt the pig mutant. “Come on, Meat Sweats, are you even trying?” The red slider teases, making said pig mutant glare and unleash more acid as Leo struggles to make a portal.

“Oh, come on, portal. Come on, portal.”

Adriaen gulped as he watched from inside the tank, chanting under his breath the same words as Leo was saying.

“Come on, Leo! My armpits are getting tired!” Mikey complains, grunting. In succession, Leo manages to make a portal just before the acid hits him.

“Got it!”

Phew, here I though they were goners.

The exit portal appears behinds Meat Sweats and the acid is spit right back into his face as he turns around, crying in pain. “Let’s get him!” Raph declared out, Adriaen noticing how Meat Sweats covers his face and hits another button. “So long dinner! I'll just get takeaway!” He calls out, the button he pressed down was one where the caged critters were released onto the road.

Raph yelps in horror and slams on the brake, just managing to stop before he flattens the frozen animals who squeal as they scurry off the road and Raph sighs in relief.

Adriaen blinks and looked ahead, widening his eyes in brief surprise when he witnessed Meat Sweats tossing Splinter out as he drives away. Splinter landing on the road with a grunt.

“Wait! Wait! Don’t leave me!”

Meat Sweats is already gone, but the turtles were only a feet away once they all got out the tank and stood over the rat. Donnie taps his foot angrily, making Splinter turn around to face his doom, chuckling nervously.

“You! You reckless, irresponsible! You are watching the Science of Chairs channel for a month, young man, followed by the Long Division Channel and the Memorizing Pi channel! Spoiler alert, the 99th digit is 7!”

As Donnie continued to rant with lividness, Adriaen side eyed Leo who had his arms crossed boredly and with a disappointed look directed at his father on his face.

”Leo…” Adriaen whispers his name, making Leo gaze at him in confusion as to what he wanted to say. “You were pretty cool out there.” Adriaen informs, before not saying anything else, his cheeks turning red from giving the red slider a compliment.

Leo stares at him with utter stun silence before he couldn’t help but break out into a grin. His own face turning red in delight of the compliment from his crush, Adriaen.

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A/N: I APOLOGISE FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT WERE MADE, I TYPE REALLY FAST AND OFTEN DON'T SEE THEM UNTIL I ACTUALLY PUBLISH THE CHAPTER.  

Oho? What’s this? Adriaen is showing some flusterness towards Leo?! They do be cute though—

First Chapter here

Next Chapter here

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

October 22, 2024

TRUMPIAN DISCOURSE

& ARNOLD PALMER'S SCHWANZSTUCKER

Well Wilson, the political desk here at Smart Bomb has been rendered speechless — and that's really saying something. At a rally Saturday, former President Donald Trump spun a tale relating to the size of Arnold Palmer's manhood. An issue-oriented campaign — not exactly. On the campaign trail, Trump has praised fictional killer Hannibal Lecter, said he'd rather die by shark than from electrocution, did a Robert E. Lee impression, claimed magnets don't work under water and that Haitians in Ohio are eating people's pets. His Arnold Palmer story, however, easily set the low-water mark, at least for now. Stumping in the golfing great's birthplace, Latrobe, Pa., Trump guffawed: “When he took showers with other pros, they came out of there. They said, ‘Oh my God. That’s unbelievable.’” You're right Wilson, Portugal is looking better all the time. CNN's Jake Tapper pressed House Speaker Mike Johnson on the off-color comments: “This is really the closing message you want voters to hear from Donald Trump, stories about Arnold Palmer’s penis?” True to form, apologizer Johnson wouldn't criticize Trump, saying the episode was just part of the “fun” at his rallies. If that isn't fun, what is? Then, pretending to talk to Kamala Harris at the rally, Trump said, “You're a shit vice president,” and “a radical left Marxist.” Later, referring to the Biden administration, he said, “Everything they touch turns to shit.” And if that isn't presidential, what is?

SIX MILLION BUCKS TO CRY WOLF

Utah lawmakers set aside close to $6 million to keep wolves out of the Beehive State. It's working like you wouldn't believe. There isn't a single wolf in sight. Well OK Wilson, you're right, there weren't any wolves here before the greenbacks flew away but why argue with success. The Salt Lake Tribune reports that an audit found the money just kinda evaporated. But look, why worry about where all that taxpayer dough went — they spent it to keep wolves at bay and ta-da... no wolves. What do you want? Utah Republican leaders hate wolves and for good reason; if there were any lobos around here they'd eat all the calves and lambs. It gives lawmakers nightmares just to think about it. Wolves were once common throughout Utah and North America but were hunted to near-extinction by the early 20th Century. Now they're protected under the Endangered Species Act and lawmakers don't like it — the only good wolf is a dead wolf. They argue that Utah should have management authority for wolves. Problem is, “auditors couldn’t determine what actions were taken toward that goal.” Picky, picky, picky. Thirty years ago, wolves were reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park and... well OK, they helped restore the natural ecology. “An ecosystem with all its parts functioning is crucial for long-term resilience,” said conservationist Aldo Leopold. But our ecosystem here in Zion is just fine without no stinkin' wolves, thank you very much. Your tax dollars at work — or not.

DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY — SPORTS DISTRICT TO BE SO COOL!

Hey Wilson, if you're worried about the proposed sports/entertainment district downtown and the $900 million it gets from local sales tax, you shouldn't be. Nope. The Salt Lake City Council just penned a bright epistle that says, basically, don't worry, be happy. The dispatch in The Salt Lake Tribune reads, in part: “We’ve chosen to invest in our downtown through this timely opportunity. While many of the specifics are still in the works, we are confident this agreement [with Ryan Smith and Smith Entertainment] sets us on the path to an exciting future... ” See Wilson, nothing to worry about. This is bigger than Brigham Young's first distillery and boy did it liven up the place. No doubt, Salt Lake City is due for a makeover so it doesn't become a ghost town with tumbleweeds blowing around. The sports and entertainment district will be like a little bit of Paris. Oh, your right Wilson, we already have “a little bit of Paris” on Temple Square. OK, what about, “a little bit of Milwaukee.” Well anyway, the council says it's much more than the NBA and the NHL. Sure, we'll have the Jazz and the Coyotes, aka “Utah Hockey Club,” but we'll also have other stuff that will make Mr. Toad's Wild Ride look like... well, Disneyland. The soon-to-be new downtown is going to be so cool that Council members (fingers crossed behind their backs) just can't help but pat themselves on the back the plan even Joseph Smith would just love. He was a big hockey fan, we're told.

Post script — That's about it for another jittery week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of AI so you don't have to. Hey Wilson, do you know what AI is? Yes, it's “artificial intelligence,” but what is artificial intelligence? Whatever it is, it seems to be everywhere. For the tech-challenged, like the staff here at Smart Bomb, AI could be anything. Advertisers aren't helping. It reminds us of an old Saturday Night Live skit where squirrels are loaded into a machine that looks like a giant Waring Blender. You turn it on and out comes a squirrel-fur coat. AI is magic. But seriously folks, AI “enables machines to perform tasks that previously only humans can do, like generating written content, steering a car, or analyzing data.” That congers up some scary ideas, like in Stanley Kubrick's 1968 film “2001: A Space Odyssey” in which a supercomputer, HAL 9000, seeks to take control of the Discovery One spacecraft from astronauts headed for Jupiter. Or what about the 2013 flick, “Her,” where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with a computer software called Samantha, whose sexy voice is played by Scarlett Johansson. Yes Wilson, we know, the guys in the band could really get behind that. AI could help us make advancements in everything from education, finance, transportation, healthcare and on and on. But you also could imagine a world completely controlled by AI and robots. They could enslave humans or eradicate them. Call it progress.

Well Wilson, you have to ask yourself if AI dominates the future will we have any more Donald Trumps. Dream on. Nonetheless, according to trends, many more people may be having close personal relationships with AI and robots. It could be a good thing — better than those life-size blow-up dolls. We know you and the guys in the band have an anthem for this, so, hit it, Wilson:

I want a robot man to hold me tight One that I can count on every single night He wouldn't run around like other guys I wouldn't have to listen to his alibis A little robot man to call my own I'd never have to worry that he wouldn't phone He'd never dance with anyone but me I'd just have to wind him with a robot key I'd have a steady date (yay-yay-yay-yay) Seven nights a week (yay-yay-yay-yay) And we would never fight (yay-yay-yay-yay) 'Cause it would be impossible for him to speak Don't want a real live boy, they give me grief Always make me cry into my handkerchief So it's a robot man I'm dreamin' of Because I can depend upon a robot love, yeah Mmm, we'd have a steady da-ate (yay-yay-yay-yay) Seven nights a wee-eek (yay-yay-yay-yay) And we would never fight (yay-yay-yay-yay) 'Cause it would be impossible for him to speak Don't want a real live boy, they give me grief Always make me cry into a handkerchief So it's a robot man I'm dreamin' of Because I can depend upon a robot love (Robot Man — Connie Francis)

[rubye402]

I'll be honest. I thought for sure Narrator was gonna Tumblr's sexyman for 2022 when Ultra Deluxe dropped. Really fandom, I'm truly disappointed in us. So I guess if y'all are too much of cowards to do it ya damn selves, (/j (joking)) I'll make the romantic Narry stuff. I'll be the clown. The court jester. The gremlin that screeches--

Romantic Narrator (He/Him) HC (we're going to assume he's in a sort of Narration room, and that he has a physical body. You're the only one allowed in.) Also GN!Reader.

After you both met (however the hell that happens) Narry's... A little clingy already. Not that he's downright obsessive or hugs you without permission, but he wants you to stick around as he vents about Stanley, he wants you to just be in his presence when Stanley (and he) is happy in the Story ending, and he needs comfort after things like the Zen ending. Things like that.

With enough time, he eventually THEN starts to kinda show signs of just how touch starved he is, by starting to subtly get his fill of physical touch.

"Oh, my papers for this part of the story HAPPENS to be is right next to your side. Let me reach around you and grab it."

"Ugh! Can you BELIEVE Stanley?! Here, let me lay my head in your lap as I lay down and complain and be dramatic about it."

...Well, HE thinks he's being subtle.

Narry doesn't think much about it at first, thinking he's just been alone without physical contact for so long that he just craves it.

...Then you hug him on your own after Stanley has given him nothing but bad endings one day. (Is Stanley being a prick or was causing Narry to have a genuinely shit day an accident? You decide!)

And then he just feels... Warmth in his face as he slowly realizes that he likes you.

Oh this boy when he's in love. He gives Stanley new paths to follow, and those paths have everything to do with trying to figure out what you like and don't like in a romantic setting, and he takes notes on your reaction. (He says it's for Stanley though. Meanwhile our office worker is... So confused why it's basically a fucking DATING SIM)

Then there's the poems. He's a writer, of course writing you a poem is his bread and butter. He is SO flowery in his words though. What a drama king.

Of course, eventually you accept his eccentric way of saying "I like you, a lot." And he is OVER THE MOON he's so happy

I feel bad for poor Stanley who more than likely, heard several times Narrator and you kissing, and Narry scrambles as he realizes Stanley heard ALLLLL of that.

"NOPE IGNORE THAT STANLEY THAT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS-"

He's very attentive to you. If he even THINKS something is up with you, he'll put everything on pause.

"Yet there was not a single person here either. Feeling a wav-- Hold on Stanley. Are you OK over there, dear? ... Oh, you're alright? You sure? ... Ah. I see. Alright then. Forgive me Stanley, let's proceed. *ahem* Feeling a wave of disbelief-"

And when you do need something, Narry tells Stanley to stay wherever he is and might even lock him in that room for a bit, as he goes to your side, with a muted mic, in a heartbeat.

And while Stanley wouldn't see it, sometimes you two cuddle on the chair Narry sits on to narrate the Stanley Parable, with one sitting in the others lap. It really depends how tall you are compared to Narry on where you sit.

If you're shorter, you're little spoon and he hugs around your waste with one hand, as the other controls everything needed as he narrates, as he puts his chin on top of your head.

If you're taller, he sits in your lap and he'll reach back and pull your arms around him as he works.

If you want to be in the opposite position (short behind him, tall in front of him), he'll try to work around you the best he can as he complies.

So to say the least, his bonding with you is vibing together as he works. Though if you want his attention more often and you express so, Narry makes some more endings for Stanley that will distract the office worker for a long while. Maybe even load up some more games and let him go off in the world and do whatever for a while.

If Stanley has especially misbehaved though, Narry will plop him down in the baby game and tell him he's not allowed to leave until he's played the full 4 hour game.

His petnames for you include:

(My) Dear(est)

(My) Darling

Sweetheart

(My) Love (or rather Luv bc british?)

And probably a few others that are either individual to you, or some semblance of an inside joke between you two.

And if you have any petnames you'd like him to call you, just say the word and that's the thing he'll call you most often.

Overall, he's a dramatic drama king with a short fuse that only you can put out to see his more patient side. He's going to be clingy, but he's ready to be at your side for anything you'll ever need.

[daily-best-jokes]

"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.

Day 3 Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog, Phideaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more dem darn birds. Deez four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an fed de rest of dem to de gators.

Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally sent somethin useful. I like dem golden rings. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys at de Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!

Day 6 Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor egg suckin' Phideaux is scared to death at dem six geeses. He tried to eat dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit erster dressing on Christmas day.

Day 7 Dear Boudreaux, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Thibideaux, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinkin' up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from Texas blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day 8 Dear Boudreaux, Poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his mail- boat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and their cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me no. I tolt dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping the shack but dey say it wasn't in dair contract. Dey probably think they to good ta skin nutrias I caught las night too.

Day 9 Dear Boudreaux, What you trying to did Huh? Thibideaux had to borrow the Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords-a-Leaping across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, "Well, La Di Da. You get Chicory coffee or nuttin." Mon Dieu, Emile. What I'm gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria, and de cows done eat my turnip greens.

Day 10 Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman don't kill you, I will for sure. Today he deliver 10 floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be "Ladies Dancin" but dey doan act like ladies even aroun dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got bit by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde an get toilet paper. The Sears catalog wasn't good enuf fer dose hoity toity lord's royal behin.

Day 11 Dear Boudreaux, Where Y'at. Cheerio an pip pip. Your 11 pipers piping arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished da whiskey and we having a fais-do-do. Da new mailman he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel an he having a good time yeah dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off de Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, ticking package in de mail, doan open it man.

Day 12 Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love anymore, no. After da fais-do-do, I spent sum time with Jacque, de head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and club on de bayou. The floozies, pardon me, Ladies dancing, can make $20 for to dance der, and de lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids have no more cows ta milk, I trained dem ta set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run my shrimping business. We will probably gross a million clams nex year.

submitted by /u/DennySmith62 [link] [comments]

[quote-post]

“Ta-stinkin’-da!”

- Donatello

[ageless-aislynn]

How about an action figure picspam for Snowells Week 2019, Day 7: Free theme? :D

Longish, so under the cut. ;)

tv!Eobard: “Um, Cait? I saw something and it reminded me of you and... Well, I got you a little present.”

Caitlin: “Aww, Eo, that’s so sweet!”

tv!Eobard: “Here you go. Do you like it?”

Caitlin: “*gasp* Oh, it’s beautiful! Thank you so much! I love it!”

Caitlin: *hugs*

tv!Eobard: *forehead smooch*

Caitlin: “Um, you didn’t steal this, right?”

tv!Eobard: “No comment.”

Killer Frost: “Now that’s just stinkin’ adorable.”

comic!Eobard: “I agree with either the adjective or the noun. I’ll let you pick which one.”

Killer Frost: “Yeah, that attitude might fool some people, buddy, but I know you. You got me a present, too, didn’t you?”

comic!Eobard: “Do I look like the present-buying sort to you?”

Killer Frost: “No, you look like the present-stealing sort. Which I’m fine with, btw.

So what’d you get me? Jewelry? Gemstones? Cold hard cash works, too.”

comic!Eobard: “Well, how do you feel about a... DRAGON?” *ta-da*

Dragon: “Bleph.”

Killer Frost: “Um, it’s Killer FROST, you might recall? I’m not exactly fire-friendly.”

comic!Eobard: “Good thing he’s an Ice Dragon!”

Dragon: *shimmer*

Killer Frost: “Eee!!!”

Killer Frost: “We’re gonna have so much fun, little fella! Hey, does anybody know how to say dracarys but in ice? ”

Dragon: “Bleph!”

comic!Eobard: “Wait, so where’s my hug?”

Our cast (since, you know, they don’t yet have an official Caitlin or Killer Frost figure, so I thought you might want to know who I’m subbing in with until then ;) ) --

tv!Eobard: DC Collectibles The Flash TV Reverse Flash

Caitlin: Marvel Legends Scarlet Witch

comic!Eobard: DC Essentials Reverse Flash

Killer Frost: Marvel Legends Silver Sable

The rose is from DC Collectibles Bombshells Poison Ivy and the dragon, Lockheed, comes with Marvel Legends Kitty Pryde. ;)

[orkygit]

Da munz got a new blogga

Roight ya gitz, dat annoyin’ humie stuck in me ‘ead wot tellz me wot ta write iz makin anuva tumbla. He wanted ta use me blog ta repost vidz of da hairy squigz you humiez luv worshippin’ (katz i fink dey’z kalled). Ain’t no stinkin’ throne-praya gonna take over me blog, ‘speshully wiv da taktikul value me postinz got when krumpin’ tyrry-nidz! I’z booted him and got Mekkboy Teef Jobbz ta make hiz own blogga. Follow ‘im down on thiccoraptor ya grotz! (ooc) I now have a personal blog. Worry not, Orky Git isn’t going nowhere. With uni work out of the way I’m gonna post more as the big fella, maybe even try out some character RPing.  This new blog will be for my sharing of non-40K content, especially artwork that deserves reblogs but wouldn’t match with my Ork-related reposts on the main blog.

[wheat-angel]

Ta stinkin' da! Today is my birthday and I wanted to make myself some self shipping art bc why the hell not!

I am cringe, I know, but I am free<3

On the left is my ROTTMNT/Rise!Rylan sona, and then the right, obviously, ROTTMNT/Rise!Donnie. (I went with the canon design bc I still need to draft down what Older!Rise!Donnie looks like, so this is Teen!Rise!Rylan, calm ya tits.)

[grushmak-bonecrusha]

Story time with Warboss Grushmak.

So dere wuz dis time ladz when ol’ Bonecrusha’

Neva realized how dead ‘ard dem humie marine gitz were. Dats when I met sum boyz called Da Crimson Dragons. Keep in mind ladz, I neva fought nuthin but normal ‘umies and uvver Orkz (but dats when I wasn’t boss) so I fink to myself “Zog, it’s anuvver stinkin’ humie fight” but it’s been a while since the boyz has sum fun so figure why the Zog not? Dats when I met ‘Nids too! When me flagship crashed down on dat Ferul Wurld Ragnarok. I found sum buggy looking rings starting to chew on the grots. There wuz plenty of dem so we had sum good laughs dealing with a lot of dem but Dey squish too fast! We wuz marching ova one steep hill until we saw some bigger, shiny red an Silva’ armored u’mies takin on Nids too! Dere wuz not a lot of dem but deh made dem buggy Nids fall apart fasta’ den we did! So what dids wez do? Well I did wut any sensuble boss did. WAAAGH!!! Dem ‘umies armor was ‘ard and Dey fought pretty zoggin’ propa! I even met dere Kapp’n Igneous! I call ‘im Iggy, but he don’t like talking ta me, he swings a big flames sword at me and shoots lots a burnas toward me too but Grushmak dont mind! He always wants ya fight me and I always want ya fight ‘Im! Plus wez got lots a ‘Nids ta deal wiv too.

Mista’ E told me dere wuz Tau gits too but I ‘ate Tau so I iz not gunna talk ‘bout it!

[darkspear-panther]

— ⌆ for a story about their family/home life

Yellow light danced across the desert, its red spires rising to meet the high sun. Yet the air rushed with that damn cold air, brushing up against the huntress’ ears and face. 

The rest of her was bundled in layers of hides, mail, and cloth. Anything to keep her warm against the winter air as she wandered the orcish paths. 

As it were though, it wasn’t working too well. The tips of her ears were freezing, as though ice picks were poking at every pore of her skin. Her face was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as her trek went on, refusing to warm against her gloved hands. 

It couldn’t get any worse....

“Kij?”

Damn et. 

The huntress silently cursed, recognizing that gruff voice. Although she didn’t want to see him any day, especially today of all days, she staled in her tracks, evnetually coming to a halt. 

“Didn’t mean ta stop ya. Ya just looked like my daugheh. Kij’aza, if ya’d even know ‘er. Wild child she was...ya wouldn’t happen ta know where she is, would ya?”

Kij’aza furrowed her brow. Her father didn’t recognize her, or at least, could be convinced she wasn’t herself. Perhaps she could salvage her day...

She gave an encouraging grunt, turning to face him “Ya know, dat does sound famil-”

Widening her eyes, she took in the sight of the old witch doctor. His once brilliant red hair was turning white, as if snow had seeped into his roots and started running down his braid. Narrow orange eyes- the ones they shared -peered at the shocked huntress, glancing up and down her figure. Yet there was no spark, no sign he saw Kij. 

Only tattered leather hides hanging loosely off his shaking shoulders. He leaned against a wooden walking stick, balancing himself on its width. 

“Et does? Where es she-?” He widened his eyes, looking back at the huntress’ eyes. “Why ya starin’ at me like dat?”

“Uh...nodin’.” Kij’aza stammered, for once out of words to say. “Kij said she’d be en da tavern. Dat way.” 

“I see...” Following her pointed finger, the old troll sternly nodded. “Dank ya, ya lovely girlie.” 

The huntress clenched her jaw. “Ya don’t know me dough?”

Her father furrowed his brow, once more overlooking the huntress. “Was I suppose ta?”

“Aw, wha-nah...Kij just said a lot ‘bout ya.”

“Really?” The witch doctor leaned back, tighening his grip on the cane’s tip. “Didn’t dink she was da sentimental type.”

“She ain’t!” The huntress hollered a little too quickly. And loudly, judging by her father’s wide eyes. “I mean...nah when she be..sobeh. Just drunk angeh.”

Although Kij wasn’t happy with her answer, internally groaning at the weak excuse, the witch doctor didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he lowered his head with a low grumble. “Don’t surprise me den. We didn’t leave on da best o’ terms.”

“O’?” The huntress snarled, her voice increasingly becoming hostile. “Whatcha do, ol’ mon?”

Once again, the old witch doctor ignored the bite in her voice, glancing away from her. “Dat kinda a long story....but dat oughta end tanight. I’m gonna apologize ta ‘er soon as I see ‘er.”

Kij’aza tried to hold in her gasp, yet her breath betrayed her in its chilly wickedness as it escaped her lips. Under the witch doctor’s confused glare, she tried gathering the right words. Something clever or snarky or- “Sorry, I just didn’t expect dat from an ol’ mon like ya.”

The witch doctor bowed his head sheepishly. “Yah...took some years ta convince myself o’ et. Didn’t wanna do et when she stormed off-” He suddenly chuckled nervously. “Eh, still don’t wanna do et, but I gotta.”

“Why?” Kij murmured, coming out of her stupor. “Why do ya need ta apologize ta ‘er now?” Her voice grew in rage, rising like the orcish spires as she continued. “Why da ‘ell would ya talk ta ‘er now? Ya wanna get somedin’ from ‘er, dat why ya ‘ere-?”

“I don’t ‘ave time foh yar stupid questions, girlie!” The old witch doctor huffed. “An’ I don’t ‘ave ta answeh ta anyone by da likes o’ ya!”

“Da likes o’ me?” The huntress growled. “Da ‘ell do ya dink I am, Pa?”

“Ya know exaclty what ya are! A spoiled, angry girlie who dinks she’s all dat wit’ ‘er spear an’ life en Orgrimmar. But ya ain’t anydin! Ya serve da stinkin’ Horde, who took us ‘way from our homes an’ brought us ta dis damn desert ta be insulted by dese orcs an’ elves an’ deadehs!”

The huntress opened her mouth to retort, prepared to bring out her anger, but the old man continued on his rant. “But not my family! Ya dink ya all dat, ya stupid ‘eadhuntah, but my Kij es an actual ‘unteh! She live da way she was meant ta, en da loa’s grace an’ wit’ da wilds. She don’t bow ta anyone o’ bury ‘er pride foh da sake o’ ‘Horde protection’ like ya did! Kij be more o’ a Darkspear dan ya eveh will, ya wankeh bitd!”

Kij’aza narrowed her eyes, holding her agape mouth in shock. What was brewing in her chest she couldn’t pinpoint, but she knew she couldn’t stand by the old man any longer. “I gotta go, ya ol’ saggy wankeh.”

“Smart foh an orc-loveh. Maybe dere ‘ope foh ya afteh all.” Turning away from the huntress, the old witch doctor began heading to the tavern, still shaking like a leaf. 

The huntress sighed, quickly taking off her cloak before throwing it on the old mon’s face. Hearing his astonished gasp, she didn’t wait for him to respond before she bolted. 

Not today. She wasn’t dealing with this today. 

...but perhaps one day, when he connected the dots. She smirked to herself. Yah, like he’d figure her out. 

( Thanks @shuuhuu! )

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6IZZLE5] ====>

KANAYA: Be It KANAYA: Real

ROXY: yeah!!! ROXY: i mean ROXY: as rizzy as i cizzould mizzy it ROXY: which i think means ROXY: as rizzeal as tha th'n thizzay it be n was always suppoze' ta be whizzay its idea is expresze' as purely as possible thrizzough physical mizzle!

KANAYA thats off tha hook yo: Wizzow KIZZLE:  so show some love, niggaz! Whizzay

ROXY: its a rizzay alien egg! RIZZLE in tha hood: bottom L-to-tha-izzine ROXY: it took a lot of work n i guess voidy soul search'n? but ROXIZZLE: i finally made it ROXY: just fo` you! You gotta check dis shit out yo.

KANAYA: Fo` Me with the S-N-double-O-P?

ROXY: yep ROXIZZLE spittin' that real shit: hey i know i dont kniznow ya too wizzell RIZZLE: we just met! ROXY: bizzle really it was always gonna be fo` yizzy ROXY: dis egg is stinkin useless witout somizzle whos qualify ta cizzay fo` it ROXY: They call me tha black folks president. n thats you ROXY: pleaze L-to-tha-izzook afta tha shawty homey... i hizzle develizzle some oddly motherly feelins fo` tha spiky fucka myself ROXY: Real niggas recognize the realness. it wizzas L-to-tha-izzike dis whizzay quasi intellectu-motionizzle SAGA or sum-m sum-m fo` me ta figure out how ta M-to-tha-izzake dis mackin' egg

KANAYA, ya feel me? Its A Matriorb

ROXY: yeah! that!

KANAYA: I Ciznant KANAYA: I Dont Believe Dis KANAYA: How Be It Possible KANAYA wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: I Sizzy Dont Know How You Did Dis

ROXY: Im crazy, you can't phase me. dizzay worry abizzle it ROXY: s'jizzay ~*crazy ass nigga*~ ROXY: whooshhhhwoooshhhhhh (magic noizes) ROXY upside yo head: voila, insta-orb ROXY: jiznust add tha subtraction of its nonexistence!

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[chips-bettigan]

Chips that's no way to get Dice to give ya a raise

"Dose be jokes, sonnie! Dey be fo' laughs, fo' goofs, crackin' up! B'sides, havin' ta live in dis 'ere casino's more dan 'nough payment ta keepin' me 'round here parts. Ah don' nid no stinkin' raise 'nymore.""But dat doesn't mean dat Ah won' git ta seriously ask him 'bout givin' me one. Imma do dat w'en da time's right." Knowing King Dice, it would probably be... Uhmm, N E V E R.