#TW: Harassment

[emelinstriker]

Judging by the way they talk and type on the impersonation blog, this might be the same exact people as before. Or at least one of the people previously involved in the harassment.

More context for those who are not aware of the situation yet:

It appears Mariin may have another blog now too. I don't know if reporting them there as well is possible, but that would be great if it were.

There's an account on here pretending to be me to celebrate my best friend's suicide. It's under usagiiribbons and just.

I'm so tired and already so fucking stressed. I'm still coping and praying my friend didn't do it, that he didn't commit so to fucking deal with this one more day before 2024 ends is the worst fucking thing I think ever. I get you have your problems with me and fine I really don't fucking care you're trying to be me, but what the fuck did Hongtao do to you? They're just a fucking kid who's going through enough as it is, what the fuck do you have against them. How miserable do you have to be to celebrate their death?? And for.fucking what?

Just. Be aware, that's all. Block them and report them if you can, just ignore them. I'm only doing this because I've already begun to get asks "calling me an asshole friend" for trying to celebrate someone's death

Seriously. What the fuck is some of you guys problem?? God.

[nebulous-tundra]

another short comic, this time yuri erisol for a fic i'm writing

[storieldraw]

I don't know with whom I can share what I feel, but I feel myself weaponized lately.

Many times I've been forced to talk about sexual life of someone. No, I wasn't physically harassed, it was just talks. When I started feeling uncomfortable, people around me started manipulating and blame me. For example, saying:

"Haha, it's not possible to talk with you about sex, so I'm gonna have fun with others. You should grow up because this is normal for everyone". And pretending that I have problems if I can't "freely" speak about sex. When I'm not interested in.

Mind you, I'm more than fine to talk about sex and discuss. When it's not forced and not just a random topic to howl. You should firstly ask your opponent if they feel comfortable or not. In other cases, you are an asshole.

I'm tired that people project sexual positivity as a freedom to speak about sex anytime and anywhere. It is lust. It's not about positivity. I've started to feel traumatized and assaulted because discussing someone's sexual experience is violating. Even if it is just words.

Especially when you said no. If you say "grow up, it's normal" -- go to hell. Go teach yourself how to speak about it safely with your closed one. If you are friends with someone, this doesn't mean you can't control your language. You have to learn it.

In other cases, I really felt myself as a trapped person with a rapist. Which does no physical harm, but expresses his wishes in a very dirt way. If someone will try to shut me with "it's your problem", you are not welcome here. Start looking in the mirror too.

I've started calling hotlines just to understand am I normal or no. Everytime they have been reassuring me that this is a trauma caused by victimblaming and manipulating that I'm just not grown up enough to talk "adult" talks, forcing me to talk about it bc otherwise I'm a ghost.

I don't know what I want from this thread. I just want to feel that I'm not alone in this shit. I guess that's all.

[naruto-shipping-confessions]

[halfmoth-halfman]

Leaving this blog.

With my mini-series finishing up soon, I've decided to leave this blog as well as my AO3 account once it’s finished. This is not a decision I've made lightly, but circumstances have left this a place where I no longer feel safe.

As of now, I won't be deactivating this blog and will be leaving my fics up for anyone who'd still like to read them. I can't say this decision won't change later, but right now I feel that I've put too much work into this blog to simple delete it.

Below the cut is an explanation of why I'm making this decision, and what has been happening on this blog since the end of last year. It's not required to read or anything to understand the gist of this post; it's simply for my own peace of mind knowing that I spoke up about it. There will be topics that are possibly triggering such as harassment, threats, and racism so please mind the warnings and tags.

The mini-series is queued to finish next week, but there will be no more fic polls or wip wednesdays. I'll still be on here to make sure the queue does its job, and maybe post some stuff from my old drafts as a last bit of fun.

I'll have dms tentatively open for the next two-ish weeks for those who'd like to follow my new account, however I will not be answering anything from empty blogs. After that, asks and dms will be turned off, and I won't be coming back to this blog very often, if at all.

I cannot say thank you enough to the wonderful readers I've had and the amazing people I've met. I don't think I would've ever continued writing without your support and friendship. There's nothing I can do to show my appreciation for all of you.

Maybe we'll see each other again. If not, I hope your inspiration is always flowing, and 2024 treats you kindly.

Mothie 💜

Again, TW: rape/death threats, violent racism, repeated harassment, and mental health.

Back in November, I started getting rude, mean-spirited anons. It wasn't anything I was too bothered with because it didn't happen often and, honestly, my inbox gets flooded for a week or so anytime I post about certain topics. I blocked, deleted, reported and moved on thinking whoever it was would get bored and leave.

However, what started as a few rude anons calling me a bitch or stupid turned into a lot of anons being vile and racist which only worsened over the next few months.

I spoke about it in this post (link) near the end of November. In that post, I mentioned that those were the nicer asks and that was not an exaggeration. I have gotten my fair share of shitty anons as seen here (link) when I had to take a break from my blog because of said anons, but I have never gotten the amount of vitriol that I saw in these asks.

When I turned anon off, I started getting even worse messages from empty blogs that would either be blocked or deactivate within a week. When I turned my askbox off, I started getting hateful DMs. When I turned DMs off, it jumped from Tumblr to my other social medias which I had to private, completely avoid, or outright delete.

I got messages attacking my writing, calling me slurs, threatening to find me and rape or kill me, sending me explicit porn and rape videos while insulting my sexuality, and going into gross detail about how much people I interacted with hated me or how I would never be as good as them. I tried to power through it, pretending everything was fine while I pulled away from this blog, from writing, from friends that I loved and talked to every day. Everything about this blog, the fandoms I enjoyed, the people I talked to, made me so anxious because of these constant messages.

I took several breaks while dealing with this in therapy, repeatedly trying to come back and get comfortable on this blog, but within a few days of coming back the messages would start up again, either here or on any of my social medias I tried to unprivate, and I couldn't deal with it.

Only in the last week or two has it started to slow down and stop on a few of my other socials, which is the only reason I even feel comfortable making this post. However, in regards to this blog and my feelings toward it, the damage is done.

I don't think I can ever truly convey how isolating this has been. So many of these messages were about how I've spoken about my struggles as a black woman in fandom, how much of a burden it puts on the people who interact with me, how inferior I am to them and that I am everything that's wrong with fandom.

I felt scared and anxious to talk to anyone about this, especially people mentioned in those messages, out of fear that this harassment would jump to them. There are friendships that I stepped away from that I will never get back because of that. There are friends that I've felt like I was betraying by never telling them about what was happening because I felt too ashamed about letting this get to me.

I constantly worried that making a post like this would feel like, "Oh, Mothie's whining and trauma-dumping into the void about fandom racism again", that those messages would be right and it would force people to feel like they had to support me. Or worse, that people would agree and it would only make things worse. I've wrestled with so much guilt trying to decide to make this post and figure out what to do to make me trust myself again.

Ultimately, I don't think I was wrong for talking about my issues in fandom, and I don't think anything I've said has warranted this kind of harassment. I don’t know the who’s or why’s behind of this, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never really know. Truthfully, I'm not sure it even matters at this point. In the end, I think moving on from this blog entirely would be the best thing for me right now.

But, man, does it fucking suck.

This was the blog where I felt comfortable enough to start writing again, to start posting my fics. It's the blog where I met so many friends, got the courage to join new communities, found new hobbies, new music, new things to enjoy in life. It feels silly to say about a blog, but this was a place where I felt like I was able to carve out a space for myself. I put so much work into making it my own, and now the only thing I feel about it is anxious.

Hate messages and threats and racism have always been a part of fandom, and the internet as a whole. I’ve known since I started participating in fandom spaces that it was going to and continue to happen. I've known that I had to have a tough skin, especially if I ever spoke up about problems I faced because no one was going to have my back if I didn't have my own. I thought I had learned how to deal with it, and how to make a safe space for myself. But this goes beyond that. I did not deserve this. No one deserves this.

In some ways, it feels like admitting defeat, like I'm weak or hypocritical for not being as strong as I pretended I was and leaving. In other ways, it feels freeing to start over, and I'm choosing to view look at this optimistically even if it bittersweet. I don't want to let this scare me away from writing or from speaking about things that are important to me. All I can do now is say I'm so incredibly sorry to those I've hurt by stepping away or keeping this secret, and make sure I'm able to at least leave this blog on as happy a note as I can have.

[massiveladycat]

TW: STALKING, ASSAULT MENTION. PLEASE CLICK AWAY IF THIS MAY TRIGGER YOU. certain people when i tell them stalking isnt romantic:

anyways, jokes aside: stalking is not romantic. why do our movies love to imply that stalking people is not only acceptable but romantic?? it's the fact that people are r*ped and assaulted and harassed by stalkers every day, but it's still romanticized. stalking victims are told they should 'give them a shot.' in movies, stalkers are made to be sympathetic so you don't linger on the fact that they are acting very creepily. stalking has serious effects on the victim. trauma and more. with this being so common in popular movies and TV shows and books is it any wonder both men and women have trouble understanding what a healthy dating relationship looks like? also, dark romance. a lot of dark romance books are just straight up glorified sexual assault. where he's stalking her and grabbing at her, but he's so hot about it so it's okay. where she's clearly scared of him or doesn't want to do anything with him but he just pushes and pushes. where she states her boundaries and or tells him what he's doing isn't okay, but then suddenly she's the bad one there because he got all sad. i hate that. don't write shit like that. you cant write 300 pages of repeated sexual assault and harrassment and not pause, just for once to think, "man.. maybe this is wrong". anyways, feel free to say what kind of books/movies/shows you've come across with this exact trope of glorified stalking/sa.

[psychology-department]

Hey can we like leave Fictionkin, Fictives or Irls of problematic media alone

It is not an excuse to harass fictives or irls or fictionkin from anything the creator is making or has made, they cannot control their source or media. Just because our media has problematic creator make doesn't make us a bad person. An author's actions towards others doesn't define who we are. Leave us the fuck alone. Stop sending us death threats. Stop forcing names onto us. Fuck the creator. We are our own people with our own lives and we are not defined by how they wrote our kintypes to be.

[ansitru]

Hey, quick question:

What the actual FUCK is wrong with men?

[mysteriousfandom--trash]

A kind reminder that @/sallyaltkinnie is a terrible person

THE ATTACHED SLIDES HAS 2 OTHER SLIDES WITH IT, PLEASE READ ALL 3!! THANK YOU!!!

PLEASE BLOCK AND REPORT HER, DO NOT GO AND HARASS HER!!

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD, PLEASE BE WARNED

//Trigger Warnings:

Sending minors NSFW / Linking an NSFW account to minors

Harassing / Stalking people

Making accounts to purposely / maliciously defame people

Racism

Not taking proper accountability / using excuses for her actions

Being friends with a proshipper

Comshipping / Proshipping

Her [a 20 year old] shipping herself with a minor [a 13 year old]

Drawing a minor pregnant / sexualizing minors

Sending violent / death threats to minors

Sharing a minor's SH on her main PUBLIC [now privated] TWITTER

Causing someone to SH

A lot more that's mentioned in the slides

Please read the whole thing and share it around, thank you

Will add tags to boost

[their-kingdom]

tw harassment, trauma processing

when I was in my mid twenties I worked for a software company, at first as a receptionist. Sometimes the IT department would go out and get dunkin in the middle of the day, and they started bringing me back a coffee. I thought they were being nice / sucking up so I wouldn’t forward them any calls. I thought the coffees were from the department as a whole.

This guy built up so slowly, over two years, to stopping by my desk and having friendly chats, to following me to my train, to one day (my birthday) trying to physically pull me into a bar to “just get one celebratory drink”.

At that point I reported him to HR, and he was given a slap on the wrist and told to never speak to me again.

Then he started sending me messages (on the work slack, which, what?) about how he was a painter and he wanted to paint me as Shakespeare characters, Juliet, Desdemona, Ophelia in the river. He’d pay me. It wouldn’t be weird.

I didn’t reply and reported him again. Nothing happened and I had to keep working with him and he continued to send me increasingly unhinged messages and I didn’t feel safe from him until I left that city.

And I felt guilty, like I was a bad person for accepting the $2 coffees and then not “giving him a chance”, like I owed him. I felt guilty for getting him in trouble, even though he didn’t actually suffer any repercussions. I felt helpless and defenseless at work, scared to leave my desk, but blaming myself, somehow.

I have DOZENS of these stories, several of them much worse, and I’m sure most people, especially anyone who has ever presented as a woman, have them too.

For so long, partially because of ~misogynistic society~, partially because I thought “well everyone goes through this” / “other people have it worse”, partially because I’ve always been afraid to center myself, and partially because I was intentionally manipulated and conditioned by one specific person to feel worthless from a young age, I thought I didn’t deserve to be upset or angry about any of these things that happened to me. I buried all of this shit so deep and then refused to engage with any media that was too serious or heavy, for years.

Finally I’ve been in a safe place long enough and stumbled into the right media to help me start unpacking it all, and it’s massive and overwhelming. I’m going to look for a therapist when I can. I’m sorry for the complete mess I’ve been this year. It’s a relief to acknowledge it all. It’s a relief to let myself be so, so angry. I hate that I’ll never get to rip into any of these people. I’m thankful for the video game. I know a lot of people had a similar experience with it. We see each other. I might get the tattoo, small, on my inside calf, I dunno I’m gonna sit on it for a year or so.

I deserve to set boundaries and have them be respected. I have value beyond what I can give to other people. I am so much more than what you made me.

[backwoodsbarking]

guess who was circling snapchat today. thankfully I've been informed that this is a federal offense, so I'm going to try to press charges or whatever. I'm so pissed off.

[batwynn]

Abusive family members will literally send you multiple harassing letters saying they’re holding to the promise of… not sending letters ‘as requested’. They’ll write ‘ZERO LETTERS ZERO CALLS’ and circle it a few times for good measure. In the letter. That they indeed mailed to this address.

[cityofsinx]

muse: Nancy Callahan (Sin City) limit: 18+ only please, mutuals and non-mutuals set: Nancy's apartment after she called y/m for help open to: other comics canons, multifandom crossovers, OCs, whatever!

Nancy thought meeting guys in college would be different from meeting them at Kadie's Saloon, but it turned out there was just as much grime underneath the shine on campus as there was in the heart of Basin City, especially when they found out where she worked. It might look nicer and talk prettier, but it was still rotten underneath. She'd been going out with a guy from one of her classes for a couple weeks until he started getting rough with her. She'd kicked him the curb, but he still showed up outside her apartment tonight, drunk and threatening to break in.

She knew from experience that the police were just as crooked as the crooks in Basin City. Not knowing who else to call, she'd panicked and dialed the first number in her phone. She was grateful they came and sorry for the ensuing scuffle--Joe College had not gone quietly. The least she could do was invite them in for a drink and some ice for that head wound afterward. She handed them the glass, two fingers of whiskey in it, and perched on the arm of their chair, pressing the ice pack gingerly against their head. "Thank you for coming… I'm sorry about all of this. I really thought he was a good one, you know?"

[naruto-shipping-confessions]

[a-deed-without-a-name]

Butterballs 6? Plz? I'll pay you in virtual hugs?

Oh, hi, Butterballs Anon. Long time, no see. I thought maybe you'd finally gotten the message the last time I and everyone else in my ask box told you to cut it out (for the fiftieth time) because you weren't doing anything but making me mad, but apparently I gave you too much credit. Again.

(If you're new here, check out the "butterballs anon" tag on my blog, and this will make a lot more sense to you.)

I doubt you'll ever see this, since I suspect you only come to my page to send obnoxious asks, but I've got a few things I want to say to you anyway.

You've been harassing me for...wow, look at that, three years. Maybe even longer.

(Jesus Christ. Three years of your actual human life spent obsessing over a goof-off smut fic. I know I'm throwing stones in my glass house here, but...yikes.)

I feel like I know you pretty well at this point.

You've been told to stop. It has been made very clear to you by myself and others that you're making me uncomfortable and upset. You've been told I have lots of other kink fics you can read. You've been told you can write your own Butterballs continuation if you want it that bad. But you haven't done any of those things.

Because you "want" it. You "need" it. You're entitled to it and baffled I don't agree.

It's not a compliment, it's not a mark of how much you enjoy my writing, it's that you're accustomed to getting your way or think that you should and you're frustrated by the fact that you're not.

Your complete lack of regard for someone else's boundaries and your gleeful ignorance of my multiple clear "no"s do not bode well for your behavior in real life.

Maybe it's going a bit far to extrapolate this much from sparse online interactions, but again: three years. After being told a dozen times to stop.

You think you're fun and cute and goofy. You're not.

And I very much doubt I am the only or even most heavily-targeted recipient of your attentions.

I don't know anything about your sexual or romantic proclivities beyond how much you love fat kink, but I shudder thinking about anyone you've experienced attraction to. The harassment they've probably suffered. The way your obsession and lack of respect - because no one's a real person to you, are they? Just a vehicle for the fulfillment of your desires - disrupted their lives. You're the story they tell first dates about the creepiest, clingiest person they ever met.

God help anyone who ever had an actual relationship with you. I pray you're single. I suspect you probably are.

If there are any people you still consider friends, you probably haven't seen them in a while. They get together without you, express relief you're not there, talk about how fun things are without you. Or they invite you because they feel they have to, a la the Geek Social fallacies, but the group keeps getting smaller as more and more people decide they don't have to put up with your bullshit, and those who remain are constantly on edge. Waiting for another outburst from you. Dreading the day they come your next object of obsession.

Your relatives talk disparagingly about your parents, because of the person they've raised.

You've probably lost at least one job for harassment. Maybe even talking about your fetishes at work.

I suspect you probably hide behind neurodivergence. "I can't help it, I have ________." Or passion. You're just so friendly and goofy, a lovable weirdo! But it's not any of those things. If it were, you would have stopped at some point in the last three years.

You believe, deep down, you're entitled to other people's time, and attention, and maybe even their bodies, regardless of what they want and feel. You think that if you just push hard enough, they'll give in and you'll win. Life is a video game for you. You're the only one with thoughts and emotions. The world exists to serve you, and it confuses and frustrates you when you encounter something that conflicts with that belief.

You are a bad person, Butterballs Anon. Full stop.

I don't want a hug from you, virtual or otherwise.

I don't imagine there's anyone left in your life who does.

[ansitru]

I am honest to god reconsidering sharing the outfits I build (something which brings me joy) because I am feeling so incredibly pissed off over the inevitable nsfw-messages and kink-without-consent in my inbox.

Hell, pissed off doesn't even cover it. Tired, sour, and incandescent, more like it.

LET WOMEN ONLINE EXIST IN GODDAMN PEACE INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY HORNING OVER US, FUCKING YIKES MAN.