#TW COLLEGE APPLICATION

[pankakeperformer]

how does one make themselves write something that they really don't want to? Like I know I need to write. I HAVE to finish this today. The thought of not completing it is causing me emotional distress. The thought of me having to work on it is causing emotional distress. How do I force myself to do this? Do I punish myself more and more for each minute that passes without me finishing it? Dig my fingernails into my arms until I either draw blood or start on my work? Or do I just wait until my mom asks for progress and I have nothing to give her? Wait for her to yell and berate me until sobbing and in tears I finish it? How do I force myself to do something that every fiber of my being does not want to do.

[athenagc94]

Dear Daddy Long Legs - Chapter 2

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

TW: Angst. mentions of death

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Chapter 2

The themes explored in Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster take on a new meaning each time I pick it up. I first read the novel in middle school, where I immediately saw pieces of myself in Jerusha Abbott.

While the mysterious benefactor, Jervis Pendleton, offers her an opportunity to experience a world beyond the orphanage, I don’t believe he’s the hero of this story. A door is opened thanks to his financial aid, but the hard work and dedication from Jerusha Abbott allows her to achieve success and independence.

This storyline resonated with me and still does. As new chapters of my life unfold, I find myself returning to Jerusha Abbot, wondering what I might accomplish if given the chance.

In this essay, I will cover...

His fingers drummed the surface of his helmet as Jason scanned your essay, the pages spread out across his scuffed kitchen table. Most of its content was ruined, streaks of mud and ink staining the page, but what remained was good—better than good.

It had been years since he read Daddy Long Legs or even thought about it. Jason remembered the basic plot—a benefactor paying a young woman’s way through college—your essay made him yearn to pick it up again, to see what you did in its message and themes.

You deserved a full ride with writing this good, but Crime Alley had a nasty habit of snuffing out dreams. Jason picked up the first page and reread your opening paragraphs once more. Regret coated his tongue like ash.

He should have shot that bastard dead. If he had, this wouldn’t have happened.

His anger simmered, flushing his skin. He sank back in his chair, willing it to recede. You never asked for his anger, nor could he explain why he felt it at all. Bad things happened—worse than a ruined essay and a crushed dream—but this was the second time he’d crossed paths with you this week. He should have guessed it was you when he saw that yellow hoodie.

And the way you looked at him... Did you always look at people with such blatant distrust? Or did he just have that kind of effect on people?

Jason scrubbed his face, chiding himself. This fixation with your paper, with you, couldn’t be healthy. It was late. He needed to sleep so he could do the same thing all over again. Patrol, eat, sleep. The monotony was grounding. At least that’s what he tried to tell himself.

He gathered the pages and dumped them in the trash before he lost himself. You said you weren’t going to sweat it, so why should he?

A heavy silence settled over his apartment as he shrugged off his jacket. He had yet to turn on the lights, accustomed to navigating in the dark, so why bother? He undid the buckles and zippers that fitted him into his uniform as he steeled himself for another restless night. Sleep never came easy, regardless of where he slept.

Despite his best efforts to ignore the temptation, his gaze drifted back toward the trash bin.

I find myself returning to Jerusha Abbot, wondering what I might accomplish if given the chance.

Jason was no hero, not that he had claimed to be one since taking up the mantle of Red Hood. There was always a new villain trying to know the hero off their pedestal. Sometimes the hero won, sometimes they lost, but the battle was never truly over. They gave more than they got, and the public didn’t always appreciate their efforts. Being a morally ambiguous vigilante was only slightly better without a moral compass to weigh him down, but he digressed.

You had a shot he never had, and he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try to make things right.

“Fuck,” he grumbled as he fitted himself back into his uniform.

***

Breaking into Wayne Enterprises was easy.

Stupidly so.

Honestly, Jason should have taken that as a bad sign, but he was too focused on the task at hand.

He proceeded with caution down the hall toward the foundations department. The mission was simple. Find your application and approve it. The foundation's board blew through money faster than Batman blew through batarangs. What was one more recipient added to the pool? They probably wouldn’t even notice.

The office didn’t require a badge and opened with a soft click. Two desks sat facing each other, each outfitted with their own computer. His lip curled as he took in the blank white walls and a window that looked out onto nothing. Talk about depressing.

He sank behind one of the computers and got to work. Passing the initial lockscreen was easy, but the information he sought was heavily encoded and buried behind other security measures. Unless all he wanted to play a quick game of solitaire, he needed to put a little more work into this. He expected as much given how paranoid Bruce was about his digital information. It would take more than a few passwords to hack this system.

It would have been easier to simply ask Bruce for a favor, but he’d rather stick his dick into a live socket than be in his debt.

His screen flickered once, twice, before it went black. He swore under his breath. He clicked a few keys before checking the back of his monitor. It came back to life when he jiggled the connection, but when he saw what was awaiting him, he swore more overtly.

“Fuck me.”

Tim glanced off screen, the harsh light from the monitor casting harsh shadows across his pale face. Jason squinted at the screen to try to discern the muddled shapes behind him. Not the cave, nor his bedroom, so he could only assume he was somewhere in the building too.

“Why are you here?”

“Why am I here?” Jason wheezed, “Why are you here?”

“I do work here.”

Jason sneered. Sure, Bruce named Tim a majority shareholder once upon a time. But it didn’t come with a job. Lucius managed most of the day-to-day operations in Bruce’s stead, leaving Tim to do Tim things. It still didn’t explain why he was still here, well after midnight. At least, Jason had a valid reason for sneaking around.

“How did you know I was here?”

Tim flicked a strand of black hair from his eyes. “Lucius had new cameras installed after Bane tried to infiltrate the building last month. You would have known that if you hadn’t disappeared with your band of misfits.” His fingers flew across the keyboard, the clack of the keys biting into the audio in a way that set his teeth on edge. “Now, answer my question. Why are you here?”

Of any Wayne or Wayne-associated person he could run into, Tim was the best option. They might not always agree on which methods to employ to get the job done, but he was the best suited to help him with this particular problem. He was also clearly distracted by something else, which helped his case.

“I’m looking for a scholarship application.”

“Our applications are available on our website. You didn’t have to break in and hack our systems.” Tim paused, his lips pursing. “But I don’t think you can get a scholarship if you’re still legally dead.”

His eye twitched. Tim was a shit, and from the subtle curve of his lips, he knew it too. Jason forced himself to breathe through the irritation and clarified, “I’m looking for a specific applicant. She already applied.”

Tim finally looked at him. “She?”

“I saved a woman from getting mugged, but they tossed her bag in a puddle. He scholarship essay was ruined and I—”

He tried to play it cool, but from the slow furrow of Tim's brow, Jason missed the mark. Going to college had been a dream of his long before Bruce found him in that alley. He loved books. They saved him when he had nothing, and the knowledge that came with reading was just as deadly as his guns, but there were limits to self-education. Higher education always seemed like an unattainable goal until he stepped foot in Wayne Manor for the first time. Suddenly, that dream felt more like a promise.

And then he died.

Dead kids didn’t get to go to college.

Hell, they didn’t even get to finish high school.

Even after the League brought him back, his dreams dimmed like embers on a fire, little more than a whisper of the time he lost. He never shared his dream with anyone, but if someone was going to connect the dots, it was Tim. Ironic, seeing as Tim never wanted for anything.

Jason licked his teeth. “I feel bad about it, alright? She mentioned she also applied for a scholarship with Wayne Enterprises, so I thought I could help her out.”

“Hm.”

Tim appeared unmoved. Jason expected that. Unless the problem immediately concerned him or whatever case he’d fixated on at the time, he couldn’t be bothered to expend the emotional effort to care. His lack of empathy bordered on psychopathy at times, but Jason wasn’t about to call him on it. Seemed hypocritical for the pot to call the kettle black while he was currently in the kettle’s domain.

“Forget it,” Jason said as he stood, “I’ll try again la—”

“What’s her name?”

He hesitated. “What?”

“Her name. I can look her up for you.”

Jason knew the way your mouth pinched when you were upset, or that you chewed on the strings of that stupid yellow hooding, but that wasn’t what he asked. “Right, her name. Her name is...”

Tim stared at him. “You don’t know her name.”

“Shut up.” He threw up his hands. “There wasn’t a lot of time for formal introductions. I scared off the mugger and made sure she made it home.”

“Fine. Do you remember where she lives?”

That he could answer with a little more confidence. He gave a rough estimation based on where you had parted ways. There were two complexes on that block, but that seemed to be enough information for Tim to work with. His hands flew across the keyboard, staring unblinkingly at the screen. That had to be a strain on the eyes.

“Want to try blinking?”

Tim did, though it looked painful to do so. “Happy?” He turned his attention back to the screen, eyes wide and unblinking once more. Jason suppressed a shudder.

“Found her. Sending her application now.”

A new window appeared on his screen with your information laid out for him. Your name, address, among other personal details. He had no way of knowing it was you until he reached the essay portion. You had a distinct written voice. One that he clocked immediately.

With the wave of relief came a poignant shame that hollowed his chest. Genuine intentions aside, this felt a little too close to stalking for his liking. He minimized the screen to avoid temptation.

“Why didn’t she get the scholarship?”

“We give scholarships to students from the university’s business or science schools, and it looks like she planned to go to school for...” Tim skimmed your application. “Classics and writing.”

The unimpressed look he received was unwarranted.

“You’re a sap and painfully predictable.”

So, was that.

Jason chewed on his response. The fact that you wanted to be a writer and study the classics had little to do with his motivations to help you, but it did look pretty damning that they coincided with his special interests. He just wanted to see someone succeed. If it couldn’t be him, he wanted it to be you.

And if he lived vicariously through you as a result, well, that was just two birds with one stone.

“Can’t Bruce, I don’t know, sponsor a new scholarship?”

“The board doesn’t pull scholarships out of their asses,” Tim chided, “There’s protocol and paperwork for these things. Not to mention the screening process for applicants and we’re already wrapped for the year.”

Jason curled his fists. “Can you do it or not?”

Tim paused, his eyes narrowing. “I don’t appreciate your tone.”

“Answer the damn question. You're supposed to be the smart one here.”

He sniffed and tapped a key. The screen went dark.

“W-Wait, no! Don’t I—” Jason gripped the screen and shook as if it were a magic eight ball that would bring Tim back. A growl ripped from his throat as he sank back into his chair. Well, so much for that plan.

He shut down the computer and made sure the office was how he found it before heading for the door. It swung open before he could grip the knob. Tim stood a head shorter than him, but his presence held a sharp intensity that had Jason stepping back in surprise.

“Jesus. Can you not?”

Tim spun on his heel and motioned for him to follow down the hall. “I have something to show you.”

They walked past his (often grossly underutilized) office and toward Bruce’s at the end of the hall. The lights were off, the only light coming from the curved monitor on his desk. A blanket and pillow sat discarded in the corner, recently used.

Jason stared at the Tim-made nest before shifting his attention to the perfectly acceptable couch that overlooked the Gotham skyline. “Are you sleeping on the floor?”

“I was sleeping on the floor before you tripped the cameras,” he said as he settled behind the desk, “I’m awake now and sitting in a chair. Try to keep up.”

His fingers twitched as he resisted the overwhelming urge to wring his neck. “What did you want to show me?”

Tim stiffened. “I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

That was reassuring.

“Or maybe you will, I don’t know, but I found this a few months back.” He angled his screen toward Jason, who bent down to squint against the harsh light from his monitor. What kind of psychopath worked with their monitor on full bright—

His thoughts guttered as the words on the screen finally sank in.

The Jason Todd Memorial Foundation

Jason recoiled. It would have been less painful for Bruce to kick him in the fucking teeth. Physical pain was fleeting, easier to stomach, but this... he had no idea what to do with the kind of pain that dug beneath his skin and festered like an infection.

He tried to make peace with Bruce, and the hard truth that his death had meant very little in the grand scheme of things. Villains like the Joker continued to wreak havoc on the streets. He refused to go against his morals, and so nothing got better.

It was a tough pill to swallow, but he managed to move forward and carve out a place for himself that wasn’t wholly fueled by anger and spite. His methods weren’t good or pure, some might argue he was just as bad as Black Mask, but no one could say they didn’t yield results. Drug trafficking to minors was cut in half overnight, and he kept dealings tightly contained within Park Row. While Jason couldn’t stop the distribution that plagued Gotham, he could contain it.

Red Hood could be the change that Jason Todd never was.

But seeing this now… knowing Bruce had…

He shoved away the complicated feelings that twined around his heart as he continued to read. The foundation would fund scholarships for low-income students seeking higher education in honor of Bruce Wayne’s late son. That included a full ride to Gotham University, an opportunity that Jason would never have.

A lump lodged in his throat as he choked out a strangled, “Why?”

“Bruce tries his best. He’s far from perfect, yeah, but he does try to make up for his shortcomings in his own way. From what I can tell, this never went live, not to the public at least. I have my guesses as to why that happened given his mental state after…” Tim let the statement die there. They both knew what after meant without having to rehash the gritty details. “I asked Lucius and the money is there. It’s been there, waiting for someone to do something with it.”

His throat constricted around the lump until it threatened to burst. He looked away to blink away the sting in his eyes. How was this supposed to make him feel? Good, bad, a nauseating combination of the two?

“I would argue the money is yours, seeing as your name is attached to it. This is a need-based foundation, and it sounds like your girl needs it. You can tweak the parameters to suit your needs. I really don’t care.”

His computer pinged, signaling the end of a download. Tim bent down to grab a thumb drive and stuffed it in his pocket.

“What was that?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

In other words, Bat business.

Jason let the matter die without much fuss.

Tim sighed and said, “Look, I know this is messy given your tepid relationship with Bruce.”

Tepid was an understatement.

“You don’t have to use the money or the foundation, but if you want to help her, this is your best option. It’s exactly what you asked for.”

He exhaled sharply. Tim made a valid point. Bruce created this for a reason, even if he never had the balls to make it live. It was time the ghost of Jason Todd finally did some good. “What do I have to do?”

“I’ll get you in touch with Lucius.”

[zoesshortstories]

All's Fair (part one)

Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!fem!reader

Words: 2.0k, probably going to have two more parts! Would write more if requested!

TW: slight discussion of reader's body and a body positive/neutral mindset

Seeing Earth through the window of your ship always took your breath away. Since you weren’t in open space while Earth was still in sight when you left four months ago, you couldn’t see it. But you made sure you couldn’t miss it this time. It only took an hour to make it to the United States, and half an hour from there to make it to the Avengers compound. 

Bruce called Steve from the comms console of the ship. He cleared you for landing and you found an empty dock. 

Seeing most of the Avengers standing at the waiting area was a shock to you and then you reminded yourself they were probably here from Bruce. You hadn’t known them that long before you went on your first mission, which was supposed to be only two weeks. It ended up being four months. 

Of course you already knew Steve; he was the one who had picked you for your promotion to Avenger. That and your water bending powers pretty much sealed the deal. And you knew Scott too. You had babysat his daughter through high school and a little bit in college when you were home. He was the one who wrote your recommendation for your application to SHIELDs Academy. Special forces, even. 

You had started regular training and “team bonding” with the Avengers in the week you were there before you left, but the team bonding felt more like team integration. 

Tony had reached out while you were on your mission, and in the long stretches between planets in search of the device, you had gotten to know each other. He was impressed by your academic resume but your comms thread turned into space memes not even a month into it. Nat you hadn’t even met at all. She was on an undercover recon mission for a month when you joined the team and neither of you had reached out to the other. All you knew was her reputation. 

Last but not least, you knew Bruce. You knew him pretty well, as he did you. There were typically at least three days in between planets where you could coast on autopilot after setting the route. You liked to read books you brought on your Kindle and he liked drawing up scientific theories. That’s not true, but he wished it was. He did draw up quite a few, but most of the time when he wasn’t actively working he was meditating or journaling. Or talking to you. After four long months on that mission you had talked about everything as mundane as favorite colors and first memories to deep questions like what happens after death and your respective nightmares. It wasn’t uncommon to wake up from a good sleep because the other was murmuring (or screaming) in their bunk. It was nice to wake him up and offer him some hot chocolate or coffee, as he often did for you. 

The door opened down and you stepped out with your duffle to walk down the path to the compound. The mid-December air was crisp and sharp against your face and bare arms. You had forgotten about local weather because it didn’t really matter when you were coming home. So unfortunately you were just wearing an athletic navy tank top and reflective but dark utility pants. You folded your arms over your stomach and shook in your place, shaking out each of your legs. In doing so you unknowingly pressed your boobs up against themselves and you were showing a considerable amount more cleavage than you had planned on. 

You ran back on to the ship to grab one of the bright green fur coats from planet Oregazze 4 and put it on. You followed the team, who had started walking without you, down the path. It wasn’t bad walking alone. It gave you the time to look around and really take it all in. The way Steve relaxed more when walking next to Natasha or Bucky, how Tony spoke with his hands and his watch flashed around. Natasha slowed down to walk in step with you. 

“Hi I’m Y/N Y/L/N” you said and stuck our your hand. She shook it. 

She said “I know who you are” with a friendly smile at the same time as you said: “I don’t think we’ve met yet” 

You exhaled through your nose, amused. 

“Well I’m Natasha” She said. 

“ I know who you are” you said in the same way, smiling a little. 

“So” she continued, clearing her throat. From what you could tell, something in her wanted to continue talking to you but she didn’t know what to say. “That coat is…” 

She trailed off and you jumped in. “Really something, right? We each got one on Oregazze 4 because that planet was way colder than we anticipated.” 

From there the conversation turned more natural and flowing when she shared a story about buying a really ugly coat on a mission just to keep eyes on her mark. You both let it drift whichever way it wanted after that and before and you were halfway back to the compound and in the middle of discussing your favorite breakfast foods (your was a bagel with peanut butter and hers was a granola bar with fruit) when the Sky clapped loud with thunder followed shortly by a strike of lightening. You both mutually took a step closer to each other as you watched the wind whip the leaves of the trees. Then came the downpour of rain. It was hard and sharp and pounding all around you. She started to jog towards the compound and you followed suit. 

Inside with everyone else you remember you had water powers. Well, after Bruce mentioned them. 

“Y/N, care to help us out here?” He asked and you nodded. You took in a breath and then with a slight flick of your hand you pulled the water off of everyone and into a huge blob in the middle. Another flick and you directed it towards the door, and just for fun you had an arm shape out of it and freeze so that it could open the door itself. You let it splat onto the already soaked concrete and the door closed on its own. 

The team was shocked silent. You already knew Steve had read your file and resume, he was the one who made the final decision on who could be promoted to this level. You smiled weakly as everyone stared at you. This was just plain uncomfortable. 

“Uh thanks” He said and the group started to disperse. 

“Welcome,” you told him and headed towards Bruce. You took your mission log journals out of your bags and followed him through the long, sterile hallways to the business side of the compound. In the middle it was a busy headquarters. And from the headquarters each department had its own section. There was a wing for desk duty and retired agents, a corporate and government wing, there was the department for new cadets and recruits, there was the average agents quarters, and then the Avengers portion. Of course there were also doors where you didn’t know what was behind them. But as you opened the glass ones from the Avengers hallway and into the lobby of headquarters, you felt at peace when it closed and you heard the lock click behind you. 

The meeting took hours. You pulled your knees into yourself in a spinning chair next to Bruce and talked through everything that happened, all the intel you gained, and put the device in the box. Then you had to digitalize every journal into electronic files (which was stupid because if told, you would’ve just made them like that in the first place). It was eleven o’clock when you made it back to the Avengers general living room. 

You headed down another hallway but it was less sterile than the last. Tony had made sure it was wooden floors with crown molding around the doorways and on the ceiling. The plaster walls were painted a warm, homey egg shell color. Everyone had their own room at the compound, but most people had their own apartment or house for when they wanted to spend time there. You had your own apartment but you didn’t want to drive all the way there now. 

In your room you found your duffle bag already sitting on your bed. There was a vase of fresh flowers on the nightstand and a welcome note from Natasha that quite literally just said “welcome. -Nat”. Before you closed your door behind you, you waved goodnight to Bruce. You couldn’t fall asleep. You tossed and turned and gave up all together. Next you tried to read but none of your books could hold your attention. 

“Screw this” you though and pulled the covers off of yourself. You pressed your bare feet into the cold wooden floor and left your room altogether. In the kitchen you took out ingredient after ingredient, making sure you had enough. Just as you started to mix together the batter, a silhouette appeared in the hallway. You looked at them and they took a few steps more into the light. Natasha smiled back when you smiled at her and took a few strides to close the gap between herself and the other side of the kitchen island. 

“Watcha making?” She asked. 

“Muffins. Do you know if we have muffin wrappers? I don’t necessarily need them but they would be nice.” You said and Natasha fished them out of a drawer for you. She placed them in your upturned palm but let her hand linger before pulling it back. You finished putting the muffins in their tins silently. You worked like a well oiled machine but you had really only known her for a day. For every tin she oiled you put the batter in and you sprinkled them with sugar before you put them in the oven. 

You sat back and hopped up on the counter, unafraid that your thighs spread out where you sat but the part off the counter didn’t. Natasha, who leaned against the counter with her forearms, looked at you. She stared at you. You pretended not to notice even though you felt like you were burning everywhere she looked. Despite your best efforts, you were softly blushing. 

Her eyes started at your torso and worked themselves up to your hair. You looked away when you thought she was staring at your chest and tried not to be self conscious about how low cut your tank top was. Or how it hung tight at the arms but crinkled in on itself at your waist, giving the impression of a curve you had gone years fine without. You, thinking you were going to sleep, had taken all of your minimal makeup off before you climbed into bed. 

Your lips fell open slightly as you kept your eyes trained to the wall clock when Natasha looked at your face. It wasn’t long, probably around three seconds, which you should’ve known from looking at the clock, before you looked at her too. You looked straight to her eyes because she was looking at yours. The twitch of upward motion in the corners of her lips was enough to keep your vision and focus trained on her. Neither of you said anything out loud and you didn’t need to. The silence wasn’t quiet, really, because of how loud your thoughts were. Because of how loud your heart was beating in your chest. 

Minutes later the clicking timer dinged and Natasha pushed herself forward off of the counter. She continued walking towards the the hallway where she came from (not the same hallway as your room) and you watched her walk away. The content swing of her hips led her to the doorway, where she turned to say goodnight and instead saw you checking out her ass. 

“Only fair.” She said with a shrug over her shoulder and a wink. “Goodnight, Y/N” 

It was most definitely a good night.

[en-trashy]

Shadow 西村力

Niki and y/n are roommates by accident and their relationship is not the best. Sunshine fem character and dark aura Niki (kinda rude)

Is angst at the end with no comfort

4.9k words

Tw: rude roommate, opposites attract, slight description of depression but never catalog like that, mentions parental abandon (but just a little), suicide thinking (if you deal with this ideas always seek for professional help), slight description of suicidal acts

It all started because of a mistake with the real estate agency, confusing her application for a girls shared apartment and pairing her with Nishimura Riki. She moved first bringing all her colorful life into the tiny space placing green cushions on the white sofa, a pink knitted blanket on a basket in the living room, an orange vase with tulips in the coffee table, the colorful mugs and plates on the kitchen, every space she went in had now a splash of color imprinting her personality in this new home; Riki arrived a week later finding the living room decorated with balloons and a welcome sign, while she's holding a strawberry cheesecake, the first thing she thought when she saw him is how handsome he was, his sharp features and black hair.

-hi my name is y/n is a pleasure to meet you, we're gonna be roommates we're gonna have so much fun 

Riki wasn't so happy about this arrangement, her dark clothes clashing with all the colors, he rolled his eyes annoyed by her high pitch tone, full of excitement, he directly ignored her going straight to the empty room, she followed him there, in the bed was a basket with a lot of different things as a welcome gift.

-I bought some hygiene products, I just didn't know you were a boy. I should have bought you something different but I guess you can still use them, those are my favorites and…

-look this is a mistake I should be with someone else, I called the agency they told me there's no other option but for us to be together as long as our contract says, so there's rules, one keep your things for you, two don't bother me, three never come into my room again, four we're here because of a mistake we're not friends or nothing don't talk to me

His tone was harsh while pushing her out of his room slamming the door locking it, she was puzzled and a little taken back, decided to not let this tiny mistake to actually ruin her mood, she cut a piece of the cheesecake for her storing the rest in the fridge with a flower post-it and Riki's name on it.

Days keep passing and things didn't change a lot between them, Riki avoids her as much as he can, only coming together at dinner when he would search for something in the fridge even if she cooks enough for both, and she would serve both plates but end up eating alone in the kitchen table, Riki did eat the food once she was inside her room and next morning she would find the clean plate in place with the rest of the dishes, only sometimes he will be with her during dinner eating and listening to her conversation, thanking her for making the food even more rare just a couple times he would compliment her cooking skills, even if this whole deal wasn't what she was expecting it made her happy that he enjoyed at least something from her, learning his favorite food to make it one of those days when he didn't feel at his best. Their routine was always the same, Riki would wake up before her to shower, make coffee and breakfast eating before leaving for college, by the time she was in the shower he already left, taking the meal and the coffee Riki left for her packed on her yellow lunch box, always stumbling into classes almost late but barely just on time; they shared a couple classes but he always acted like they are strangers, Niki, as most of the people called him, was with his group of friends all the time, he had that dark aura that pulled people like magnets his cold personality made everyone revolve around him and his friends, the sport and frat boys; meanwhile she wasn't able to have friends even with her bright personality she would say hi to everyone in the corridors, sometimes someone will acknowledge her and say hi back, rarely she had small and trivial conversations with someone else, just that always ended up alone for group projects or lunch time.

Things started to change between them gradually, it started with Niki leaving snacks for her, slowly the snacks become her favorite gummies, he bought flowers for the vase in her room always different colors and types, each month Niki did the grocery shopping never forgetting pads for her and ice cream, once she found a shopping bag from a vintage store she usually goes to have a look finding a beautiful green dress along with a post-it “hope it fits”, even if they still haven't a close relationship or talk a lot she was feeling seeing for the first time in her life, even appreciated, she cooks for the both of them and do the laundry, he takes the trash out and vacuum moving the heavy furniture, it was a perfect balance for them. Y/n talks and Niki listens, she dances and sings around the house and he admires her from afar.

The months keep passing but during a particular time of projects and assignments, y/n was overload with homework, Niki managed to do it with his group study that happens to be his friends, she did her best to do the assignment meant for three people all alone, it was late at night on a Friday night, almost midnight and she was nowhere to be found in the apartment, the rain outside was heavy and even if Niki pretend that he wasn't worried about his roommate he was, usually at 9 she was there, never longer than that, no parties, friends or boyfriend that he knew for her to be out this late with this weather, it was almost one am when she stumbled through the door soaking wet with dark circles under her tired eyes, she managed to get into her room and change clothes before passing out in her rug, the loud thud alerted Niki finding her door open and she on the floor unconscious, he quickly picked her up putting in bed, she was burning in fever stirring uncomfortable, he stayed awake all night to cool down her by the time she woke up he was uncomfortably sleeping kneeling on the floor and his head on her mattress, her mind did have blurry memories of how she got there finding the cloth he used along with the thermometer, putting the pieces together realizing that Niki took care of her, she flustered like a teenager, his cold roommate actually cared about her; happily she got up straight to the kitchen to make breakfast for the both of them, she didn't even care about the ache on her body of how she just experienced an exhaustion episode she was thrilled because of Niki, for as long as they lived together she couldn't deny how handsome he was maybe he was opening to her because he liked her back.

-what do you think you're doing?

Niki's voice deep and a little angry pulled her out of her daydreaming, seeing his face makes her stutter

-I I was making breakfast for us

He just sigh letting her finish with that and waiting sitting for her to plate everything, once they finished he washed the dishes before going to his room, to change his clothes and going out of the apartment slamming the front door, that day in particular she couldn't take him out of her mind waiting for Niki to be back by lunchtime or dinner, which didn't happen it was late at night and she was curled up in the couch waiting for him, by the time the frat party ended Niki stumbled a little tipsy inside making her jolt from her spot.

-Ki, are you okay? Let me serve you a plate I made us hot pot I'll help you into your room-Niki slapped her hand off him, when she was trying to help him remove his jacket

-stop trying to undress me… whatever you try… not happening… not tonight

-but…

-just shut up, my head is killing me… tomorrow we can do whatever you want-Niki went inside his room, she happily put everything on a tray, his food, a glass of water and a painkiller leaving it at his door and knocking softly, knowing it is better to give him the space he wants.

That night she went to sleep with a thousand butterflies on her tummy, thinking that she may have an opportunity with Niki, all those little details about him replayed on her head, how he always left her cup of coffee and breakfast ready, how if he buys a treat for him always leaves one for her labeled with her name, how he folds the laundry but always respect her undies basket, how he started to buy her flower because one time she forgot to buy them and he replaced them bringing her favorites and then he did it every time, all those little details about him made her feel sort of in love.

Monday morning she woke up early to make breakfast for them, waiting sitting for him, by the time he arrived at the kitchen and saw everything nonchalantly he just sit to eat trying not to be as rude as last night

-good morning Ki-she said with a big smile he responded only with a grunt, she started to talk about a hideous project she had to do alone- so my friend Jinni she likes this boy so she tried and actually get it now they're starting to date… that's why I end up alone for the project but it's okay… then my other friend Ryujin she's busy with the female soccer team and her colleges decided to pair with her but it's alright calculus is not so difficult this semester and it's the only time I'll have it in my major that's why I didn't worried

Niki got up hoping for her to stop talking, taking his empty plate to the sink and washing it immediately, he dried his hands while she washed her plate, he started to go and she rushed to catch him, putting her shoes quickly she runs to be next to him, holding her bag and trotting alongside him to keep pace with his walk, he put on headphones and she just stayed in silence with him by the time they reach their college Niki walked straight to his group of friends she stayed a couple steps behind.

-you have a little shadow today, a colorful one- Heeseung the captain of the basketball pointed at her she waved happily to them, and all of them responded, Niki rolled his eyes pushing his friends to go inside

-she’s driving me insane since I woke up, I can't get her to shut up or leave me

-she looks friendly, can't be that bad- Jake looks back at her and how she tried to follow them but also tried to give Niki the space he asked

-try to live with her, all my apartment looks just like her, she's always talking nonsense and now seems like she wants to be glued to me- Niki got inside his class preferring to wait for his professor instead of being a minute longer with her, his friends didn't understand him but they know better not to dig on it.

For her the day went as usual, she tried to reach for him but didn't saw him anymore, so she went home alone, cooked for them and waited for Niki he arrived late and straight to his room, she left the tray with his meal at his door knocking on the wood hoping he would eat it, she went inside her own room playing some music and doing her homework.

The winter arrived sooner than she expected, somehow she was closer to Niki, every Thursday night when all his friend were busy with training or something related to frat they had a movie night, they both have snacks and a list of movies to watch that they were trying to accomplish, in college most people started to recognize her as Niki's colorful shadow following him every chance she had; another turn in the co-living was that every two Fridays his friends will come to the apartment to play videogames, one of those nights she received the message from her parents “sorry we can be together this time of the year, your dad got a good deal for a cruise ship will see you in the summer for the vacations, we love you honey have fun with your friends” she blinks a couple times just staring at the message, it was the second year they left her alone for holidays and she though this time maybe will hurt less, but it wasn't like that, she tried to cry silently in her room, specially because Niki's friends were there and could hear her, when he started to invite them in, she thought that maybe he wanted for her to be comfortable around his friends too, at first she was excited for their roommate situation to escalate gradually, however Niki asked her to not come out of her room and now she was grateful for that not wanting for anyone else seeing her cry for something silly like being left out of her family plans.

By the time his friends left the house she was starving and already ran out of tears, the hole in her chest was still there and it hurt making a couple sobbings escape her, Niki heard it doing the same she does putting her dinner on a tray leaving it at her door with a soft knock, she smiles when she opened finding this little detail, she contently ate the pizza he left and went to sleep with hope that maybe Niki will also stay with her for the season.

The last day of classes she was behind Niki all day, buying him his favorite snacks, waiting for him outside of his classes. The only moment alone and in peace was when he and Minju got some time alone, he confessed to her and thought that everything will go smoothly but Minju rejected him.

-listen Riki I like you and all of that, but we all know about your girlfriend

-what, no wait what girlfriend?- he was beyond confused

-the girl, the colorful one, the one that lives with you and follows you everywhere, we know about what you have, you're the only thing she talks about, only about you Riki, sorry… maybe another time- she gave an apologetic smile leaving him standing with the bouquet of flowers

In that moment y/n found him, going alongside with him and talking about her classes of the day, he was so done with all of that about to snap just when Jake and Sunghoon pulled him.

-I hope you're ready for our trip I'm so excited, the cheer team is also coming with us- Jake, known to be not just the smartest in his major but also a charismatic playboy, she tried to keep the pace with them

-Finally this is over, one more week and my eyes will pop out because of stress- Sunghoon was extremely popular for his looks but also because he was the captain of the hockey team- you're gonna come with us too?- she was surprised to hear that Sunghoon was talking to her

-I don't know, Ki haven't invite me- she almost whispers

-oh Ki such a bad boy- Jake said in a mocking tone- we leave in two days, to ski, don't forget to bring warm clothes princess, we don't want his little shadow to disappear- he said in his characteristic flirty tone

She could only nood feeling her cheeks burn while they walk away from her, maybe that her parents left her wasn't so bad after all, she would spend some time with Niki, impatient for that day to come she went home quickly and started to pack her winter clothes, she ordered his favorite take out for both, waiting patiently on the living room with a movie, when he got inside the house he didn't look so happy to see her, but she didn't noticed that.

-ki I ordered your favorite… I'm so excited for us to go on a trip together, I thought I'll be alone all season because I couldn't be with my parents and all my friends are going back to their families- her tone was high pitched, just like every time she talks about something she likes, Niki rolled his eyes taking his food and going inside his room

She stayed there until late night watching the movie alone, she fell asleep on the sofa curled up trembling a little, in the morning she woke up covered by a blanket and the living room clean, the sound of the shower alerted her that Niki was awake, she got in the kitchen to make breakfast making extra effort to have perfect pancakes for him, she uses her heart shape pan for the first time giggling with the results, when Niki entered the kitchen and saw everything he rolled his eyes but still he sits and eat.

-I’m so happy to spend time together, I already packed my things, I know we still have today to do it but I just couldn't wait, I went skiing just once I hope I still can do it- her voice was just noise for Niki, he didn't pay attention to her neither what she was saying, he opted to wash the dishes and let her keep talking.

He tried to do his own things but she followed him constantly even inside his room, he even put on headphones but even if she didn't talk she didn't leave him alone following like a shadow even sitting on his gaming chair while he packs a couple thing for the trip, just watching him, by the afternoon his friends arrived to take him to the mall and shop for everything they need it, Niki felt peace washing over him of finally have a time without her around, or he thought so.

-why don't you come with us? Sunghoon told me you're gonna come skiing with us, we're gonna buy equipment- Jay the leader of the fraternity invited her with a really nice smile, she basically squeak in excitement taking her purse and sweater, sitting in the back seat next to Niki

The shopping day was smooth most of the time, Niki managed to be away from her while he was with Jake and Sunghoon buying the snowboards, Jay offered to go with her to search for a padded jacket, she choose a pink one trying on, Jay was a gentleman and she understood why half the campus was in love with him, he helped her to tie her shoes kneeling in front of her, asking about her major and why she likes to study fashion design, it was the first time someone listened to her, really listened to what she likes, she was giggling when she saw Niki again going straight to him holding his hand.

-look I found a really pretty one, is pink and Jay told me it looks really nice on me- Jay nods confirming that she looked good- can't believe I'm going with you skiing Ki, feels like a dream

Niki removed his hand from hers, but she holds him again intertwining their fingers, talking again about the trip, once in the parking lot Niki was so done with her, but what made him snap was the mention of friendship

-Ki can't believe I'm your friend… even tho I like you a lot, but it's okay just being friends not gonna be weird about our relationship- she whispered for him and gave him a warm smile but he couldn't take it anymore, he removed his hand a little violent from hers, almost pushing her, everything pent up in him, how she never got the clue of him wanting space, the way that was the reason Minju rejected him, how everything in his apartment had a piece of her and her personality, he pushed her by the shoulder making her almost trip and fall on her butt

-I’ve told you that we're not friends, for you and me being together it was a mistake, I can't even stand you, you're so annoying not just for me but for everyone, that's why you don't have friends, allegedly you do but why you end up alone in every project, you eat alone too?, because no one sane wants to spend a minute with you, hearing your voice is enough to make anyone's ears bleed, and what's worse you look like a kindergarten painting book, you and I will never be friends, not even your parents wanted you for holidays what makes you think I do? I didn't invited you, they did because they feel pity of you- Niki said each word with venom on his voice and she just froze hearing him, her eyes fill with tears ready to spill them

Niki went inside the car slamming the door, Jake looked at her with pity before going inside too to scold Niki for what he did, Jay and Sunghoon tried to reach for her but she stepped back, wiping her tears and smiling.

-I forgot to buy something… I'll go for it, I'll call an Uber for me later, see you around- she tried to talk normally but her voice cracks at the end

-let me take you home, is not safe for you to go like this- Jay tried to reach for her again but she stepped back and basically run away from them

-wait y/n, please let us help- Sunghoon tried to catch her but she disappeared, he found only her shopping bag lying on the floor he picked it and went back to the car where the other ones were scolding Niki for being so rude- man you cannot treat girls like that, no matter what, you have sisters you wouldn't like someone talking to them just like you did to her

Once all the rage left his body he felt ashamed to have treated her like that, he was just angry because he was rejected and blamed her, Niki asked for his friends to stop at a bakery that he knew she likes and asked for macaroons, he went inside the apartment finding everything dark, with heavy steps he knocked on her door.

-I know you're probably angry with me, but I'm sorry that I talked to you like that. I didn't mean it- he didn't receive an answer- is okay if you don't want to talk to me but I bought you this little cookie you like and I have your bag with me… Jay hyung told me you looked so cute with your new jacket, maybe you can try on your outfits and show me

Niki peaks inside the room, it was empty and dark like the rest of the apartment she was nowhere to be found, he waits for her in the living room but she didn't came home it was late night already, it was pass midnight and she didn't even call, but how was she supposed to call? He didn't provide his number in case of emergency and he didn't saved hers when she wrote it in a post-it for him, he stayed looking at the door as long as the sleepiness allowed him, she opened the door at 3 am, all this time staying in a 24 hours café, seeing Niki sleeping on the couch instead of make her butterflies revolve made her nervous that he would wake up and say more hurtful things to her she tiptoe to her room locking herself inside avoiding Niki, early in the morning his phone started to ring his friends calling so he can hop on the car and they can go, he didn't notice a change in the house giving up for now in solve things with her, he took his bag and went downstairs, when his hyungs asked for y/n Niki lied about it telling them that they solved things but she felt ashamed and didn't want to come anymore.

She woke up nearly midday feeling like a truck ran over her, her body feels drained and her headaches, all his words keep replaying on her mind and something she was always afraid since childhood was growing inside of her, she is afraid of feeling this way, replaceable, even if she tried so hard to be nice to everyone no one ever stayed by her side, it was true she didn't had friends or someone who worried about her, if she just disappears probably nobody would notice, her parents only called for her birthday sometimes, all the darkness inside her started to grow and she felt repulsed by all the colors she insisted to put on in everything with the hopes that all those dark feelings in her eventually would disappear, she didn't feel this empty and lonely since she was ten and tried to jump from a bridge, those memories flooded her thoughts erasing any coherent or rational feeling; she wasn't pretty, or popular, or important, she was just that colorful shadow that people started to notice once she was behind Niki.

In an automatic like movements she took a box filling it with all the decorations she once put on display on this tiny apartment she tried to make her home, in the coffee table she left the money to cover the next month rent and a note, she changed her clothes for her favorite green dress it was short and not suitable for the weather outside, she put on a cardigan and her shoes, going out she left the box with her belongings next to the trashcan and walked to the park near the building she spent this past semester, she was never good in reading people, but she thought that maybe this time was different and Niki would be the exception, she didn't though that her small crush for him would hurt like this, she got next to the bridge leaving her cellphone and removing her shoes there, she stands on the edge looking down her toes numbing, the water was not freeze yet but it wouldn't be long for it to be a gigantic ice cube, she closed her eyes before surrender and jump…

Niki was back to their apartment just a couple minutes after, the trip was cancelled because of the bad weather on the way to the mountains, it was not safe and the news alerted everyone to stay inside, he noticed the box of her things in the trash, picking it up and bringing it inside again.

-i'm back, I know you're here, you left your things outside- Niki called from the door leaving the box on the floor- c’mon I'm sorry is not for you to throw away these things you love

Niki noticed the letter and the money, when he reads the words on the paper he feels all his body turn cold: “Hi Niki, when you read this I'll probably be gone, it wasn't my intention for everyone to hate me, I'm sorry to be a bother all this months I already took my things out, if you call my mom she will come to pick my clothes her number is on my nightstand, probably she will come after her cruise ship hope you don't mind keeping them for a little, I left the money for my rent in the meantime you find a new roommate, I hope you had fun on your trip, tell Jay that I'm sorry the jacket still have the tag he can return it and have his money back. Thank you for being my roommate. I really enjoyed our time together” Niki was confused, why would she left without her things, where she went? Her parents weren't even in the same country, he took his jacket and run outside maybe he can still catch her, the bus station was a couple blocks from there, he ran and on the way he saw the sirens and the ambulances near the bridge, he recognized her baby blue shoes and the flower case on her phone, he ran to get there seeing how the paramedics and police take her unconscious pale body from the water, the green dress he once bought for her was sticking to her body, a cop stopped him to get close to the scene, close to her.

-no, y/n, let me go, she's my roommate I'm her emergency contact, please let me see her- Niki fight to be released, one paramedic informed that she'll need someone to be with her at hospital to provide the info about her, that's when the cops let him be near her, Niki took her shoes and phone he got inside the ambulance next to her unsure to touch her, holding her cold hand- hey don't be like this, please I didn't mean all those things I said, we have to go back to our apartment, you have to help me place our decorations back in place, the trip was cancelled we'll go next week you have to show me how you look with your new jacket… please don't go

She looked so fragile and for the first time all the color she always put in everyone's else's life was gone, that little spark was no longer there and Niki felt afraid to lose that part of his life, that color he got used to and now was comfortable with.

Fin.

I appreciate feedback if someone reads this, thank you in advance little stranger

[bangaveragewhitewine]

soft slow, morning glow

Steve Harrington x Reader

A prosaic peek at Steve Harrington’s inability to sleep in and stay in bed and his reasons for changing his ways. 

October 1997; a cosy easy morning, where kisses are shared and ABBA songs are sung as a lullaby.

Word count: 4.3K

Content/Warnings: TW for talk of bleeding during pregnancy, borderline neglectful parents. 

Mention of sex (18+), not explicit. This contains dad!Steve & mom! reader toward the end; pregnant reader. Kinda rambling. Very soft. Low angst (but not none).

Note: Thank you to my ST rewatch for making me fall for Steve all over again. 

Proofread by @specialagentmonkey | Divider by @silkholland

Steve Harrington was always an early riser. 

As a honey-haired little boy, he spent Saturday mornings on the sofa watching cartoons with the volume dialled low as his parents slept. He knew not to make a mess with the cereal, or the milk, rewarded with a stack of pancakes or a new toy for keeping himself amused as Richard and Katherine Harrington slept off the previous evening’s dinner party hangover. 

Always the first awake at sleepovers, he would wait with bated breath for Tommy to stir or feign a sneeze to wake him. 

He never had to be dragged from bed to go to school during the week, always up and at ‘em to go see his friends, play tag and swap baseball cards on the playground. 

As a sporty and popular teenager, he started running when he didn’t have early swim practice or basketball. Steve rose with the sun and waved to his neighbours politely as his shiny sneakers slapped the pavements of Loch Nora. 

He was never sure what he was running from, or towards, but the burn of chilly morning air in his lungs made him feel alive. 

When he started going to house parties and hangouts on Saturday nights, his Sundays still started early, dragged to show face at his parent’s church. It was less about faith and god and all about appearances. He snuck out of bedroom windows, hopped white picket fences as the sun rose, fought hangovers as the priest’s voice droned and caught the eyes of pretty girls from the convent school a town over - they always blushed when he smiled at them or dropped them a sly little wink as the collection plate was passed around. 

When his parents started travelling more, after the shortlived re-commitment to the church, Steve’s Sunday morning hangovers were kept at bay with cold swims in the pool or hot coffee and loud music in the kitchen as he tried and failed to focus on homework.  

Steve started working right out of school as punishment for unsubmitted college applications and lower-than-predicted grades. He volunteered for the opening shifts in Scoops Ahoy and Family Video - he liked the responsibility and having a purpose, having an excuse to be out of the house before his parents could tutt and fuss and lecture him. It was easier when they weren’t there; when the office in Indy needed Richard’s attention more than his wife and son did, when Katherine spotted smears of lipstick on his collars again and insisted she spend some time with him in the city apartment. 

In their absence, the Harrington house was a mausoleum of failure that Steve couldn’t bear to be in. So he raised his hand for early delivery shifts and stock takes and drove his friends to school when he didn’t have to, already awake after another night of nightmares, memories of flying fists. 

Steve Harrington rose early and burned bright; burned out quickly when he realised he didn’t know what to do with himself or what his purpose was. 

He filled his time with making himself useful to other people, chasing and seeking a purpose or a person to fill the gaps and spaces in his chest; the hollows once reserved for the people who didn’t return the outpouring of love he offered so freely, so innocently. He found and made a rag-bag bunch of friends, a found family, who returned the love he deserved in the ways they knew how. Woven and knotted friendship bracelets, squished candy bars, mixtapes, weed sold and rolled at buddy rates or for nothing at all.

Steve Harrington moved to the city with his best friends; a Beemer and a battered van filled with boxes and suitcases. The early morning drive made Steve Harrington glow golden in the rising sun, his excited eyes hidden behind dark-tinted sunglasses as Robin Buckley snored in the passenger seat and Eddie Munson listened to metal at an ear-bleeding volume in his van and flipped Steve off with that big grin in the rearview mirror. They stopped for strong coffee and sweet pancakes and started a new chapter in the city. 

When you fell in love with Steve in 1990, he found a reason to stay in bed a little longer. A reason to slow down, soak up the sunshine glow you shone on him. 

You spent Saturday nights with friends, a patchwork group cheering on Corroded Coffin and selling T-shirts and tapes at a merch table when they scored a bigger venue and a bigger crowd. Movie nights and takeout Chinese food and a stack of new and old movies from Blockbuster. Date nights at swanky bars and restaurants, with flickering candles and pizza on the way home because you didn’t want the night to end yet. You spent hours in bed together, night and morning, talking about everything under the rising sun and dwindling moon, learning about each other’s life and mapping each other’s body with kisses and gentle touches. 

In the morning he gazed at your sleepy softness and took his own pulse to make sure he wasn’t dying. No heart attack, just falling in love.

He brought you cups of coffee and sweet pastries from the bakery a block away when his limbs felt restless. He always got back into bed with you to cuddle and while away the morning without a moment wasted. With Steve, those mornings were syrupy slow; he worshipped you between your thighs and held your hands as the headboard bashed against the wall.

You became Mrs. Steve Harrington in the spring of ‘94. 

A small wedding. A big party for your friends. A honeymoon week where every morning felt like a perfect lazy Saturday.

When Steve found his reason to stay in bed, together you created a reason that kept you from it. 

Bethany Rose Harrington. Born June 21st 1995. 

Beth had her Daddy’s eyes and her Mama’s nose, and the sweetest little dimples in her smiley pink cheeks. She was her Daddy’s little doughnut, her Mama’s little bee. She inherited Steve’s charm and wrapped her extensive collection of doting uncles and aunts right around her tiny finger. She took after you in the way that Steve was completely and utterly in love with her. 

Just like her Dad, Beth liked to start the day early. After a few weeks of seeking out and settling into a routine, Steve spent the earliest part of the day feeding his little Bethie her bottle of milk in the cosy armchair nestled in the corner of her pale yellow nursery. As he watched her big brown eyes gaze and blink, felt her tiny fist wrap around his finger, Steve decided that these were the happiest mornings of his life. 

On those soft and slow mornings, you could hear Steve’s low murmur to your little girl through the baby monitor when his excitement to see her gummy smile or stop her sad fat tears bypassed the off-switch. You fell back asleep to the sound of Steve telling Beth about how the Cubs and the Bulls (their teams now) were doing this season, or about the walk in the park you were going to go on once ‘beautiful mama’ was awake. He sang to her; never typical lullabies, Queen and ABBA and Dusty Springfield. 

Steve basked in the joy of her little smiles, soaked in the soft cooing noises as Beth found her voice to talk back to her Daddy. When she fell asleep again, milk-drunk with her cheek against his heartbeat, Steve watched the morning sky shift and brighten and listened out for the sound of your waking time. The soft thud and shuffle from bed to bathroom, running water, your yawn and stretch, the gentle steps to seek and find him and your little treasure. You filled reams of camera film, documenting Steve as a Dad, your little girl's first weeks and months. Lit by morning light, by afternoon sun and the shade of the tree in your yard, and dusky nighttime lit by nightlights.

When your laundry list of chores allowed it, you took one of your three options on those mornings of parenthood - take turns to bask in the warmth of lavender and milk-scented baby cuddles while the other showered; bring the sleeping beauty back to your bed to gaze at the ten fingers and ten toes you had created together; or leave the sleepy and full-tummied grub to sleep in her crib again to spend the slow dawn hours holding each other and trading kisses, and knotting yourselves up in the sheets together once the doctor gave you the all-clear and a prescription for birth control. 

You did plenty of all three. 

Summer turned to Autumn, then Winter, and Steve balanced being a father and husband with keeping a roof over your heads and the final year of his programme to get his qualification to become a guidance counsellor. His mornings with Beth were part of his routine, leaving her smiling and drooly for you when he kissed his girls goodbye. Missing him during full days of supervised sessions and hours in the college library when he wasn’t in classes bonded you and Beth, thick as thieves and lovestruck for the golden Harrington boy-turned-man. You made sure that he never missed a moment with how many pictures you took, and Beth saved all of her firsts for when he was home. You coached her to say ‘dada’ in Steve’s absence and he sobbed happy tears when she parroted it back. (He had been coaching her to say ‘mama’ during their early mornings together).

Your late nights of talking turned to early-to-bed nights, sleeping when the baby slept and when your little home was some semblance of clean and tidy. Steve fell asleep to the sound of Bethie’s breath on the monitor, your heart under his cheek and the soft stroke of your fingers in his hair, along the length of his arm. 

Both of you were exhausted. Neither of you had ever been happier. 

When he graduated in the Summer, you and Beth cheered and clapped for your golden boy along with his best friends - the loudest bunch in the college auditorium. A picture of the Harrington trio - Steve in his shirt and tie and graduation gown balancing a smiley baby and his degree as you kiss his cheek and tickle Beth’s tummy for the camera - was placed with pride on his desk when he started a counsellor job that landed in his lap in the late summer of ‘96. He coached basketball two afternoons a week on the side; it was perfect for him.

You go back to work part-time and you balance taking care of Beth and each other with the utmost care. With help from your family and Steve’s trust fund from the Harrington’s, you make it work. You are what he holds dear, pride of place in the centre of his chest, once vacant and hollow. The gaping space he yearned to fill with the wrong friends, the wrong girls, watery beer and too many cigarettes. 

By the Fall of ‘97, Steve had learned to sleep again. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Enjoy your days off. Enjoy every moment. He is. He’s so tired but never happier. 

This morning, you wake first. 

Your little house in the Chicago suburbs is bathed in autumn darkness on a lazy Saturday.  Six a.m. and Steve snores peacefully. 

Beth is silent, dreaming of her two favourite things: fairies and pancakes. That top five list favourites is rounded out by her Daddy and Mama and Mrs. Murphy’s orange cat that visits the backyard. 

The littlest Harrington is an early bird too, twirling in your tummy beneath Steve’s protective hand. Until Steve can take the morning shift, you are the early riser.

Beth is your sleepy little dreamer, she loves her bed like her Mama. She sneaks in between you and Steve (and the bump now too) when she wakes too early; you spend those mornings gazing and counting fingers and toes again like when she was a tiny thing. 

This baby however seems to take after her father’s love of sport, the way she practices the aim and strength of her kicks on your bladder. You don’t officially know yet (they were less than cooperative at the last ultrasound), but you know it’s a girl. Steve swayed to boy for a day or two before realising you were right. Maybe next time… 

The flush and sigh-groan from your aching back pulls Steve from sleep. When you pad back in from the little bathroom, he’s just about upright and wild-haired. 

“Y’okay?” Eyes swollen with sleep, he reaches blindly for you to help you back into the cosy nest of blankets. 

“Mm, needed to pee.” 

You try to keep your cold feet away but Steve sandwiches them between his own size fourteen and always warm feet. His lips brush your shoulder and the back of your neck when you settle into a comfortable position; Bump dictates what will suffice as ‘comfortable’ and settles under her father’s comforting hand. Harrington’s magic touch is famed in your home; settling gassy babies and working out knotted shoulders, fixing leaky faucets and carrying all of the groceries inside in two heavy handfuls, making shadow-puppet shows on the bedroom wall and holding back your hair when you’re not well. 

Slowly, small-spooned by Steve’s bigger body, you drift again. Sleep comes and goes like an inconsistent tide, and you are anchored safely in his arms. Baby names ebb and flow into your tired head and you wish Steve was awake to tell you what he thought of ‘Heather’ or ‘Ava’. Whether your (very slow) re-read of Little Women was influencing you too much to ‘Josie’. You wonder about how much candy you should get for the trick-or-treaters, and whether Beth will be too scared to help you answer the door to them this year. 

You wish he was awake - because you always wish your every waking moment was spent with Steve Harrington - but you’re so glad he is sleeping soundly, snoring sweetly behind you. You wish you could take more responsibility, take the pressure he puts on his own shoulders from him, but this pregnancy is less easy than the first and you hate that you can’t do it all anymore. You take solace in the fact that Steve is asleep, not awake worrying or nesting. 

Turning in his sleepy hold, you place his hand back on the bump to keep the littlest Harrington settled and content, and watch your handsome husband look like the teenager you wish you had known. You map the laughter lines instead of the ones etched by worry, counting the happy memories (which are insurmountable) as you fall back to sleep with him at last. 

Sleeping Beauty herself slumbers on until almost 8 a.m., meaning that both you and Steve sleep until almost 8 a.m. too - later on you will toast coffee (decaf for you) over that parent win. For the next few months, the weekends mean Steve will be hitting snooze on his body clock when the chances arise. 

This morning Beth’s little voice sings his name down the hall. Steve wakes with a smile and kisses your sleepy face as you stretch and peel your eyes open. 

“You’re up, Coach.” Your voice is a tired yawn, mumbled into the fluffy duvet Steve untangles himself from.

“Bring her in for cuddles please.” You pout for a tired kiss and hum happily when he grants your wish. 

Steve’s ankles crack as he walks from your room to Beth’s. She’s wide awake and wild-haired, matching her Dad, and she sits up in her bed with her bunny-teddy clutched in her fist. 

“Hi bumblebee,” he gasps, his tiredness swept away by his genuine joy to see her. Steve lays down on her too-small-for-him baby bed and pretends to get comfy to sleep again. “Sleepover?” he asks, opening his arm for her. 

“Nooooo, yo’bed!” Her sweet voice crackles with sleepiness and the remnants of a cold she picked up as the seasons changed. 

In the warmth of your bed, you can hear the mini-eye-roll she’s giving her Dad as he plays up to her dramatics. Uncle Dustin has a lot to answer for. 

“Bethie,” you call from your nest, “I miss you.” 

Steve watches with barely restrained amusement as her face beams bright like sunshine before leaving him in the lurch to seek out Mama. “Hey! What about me?!” 

You can hear his grumbling as he hauls himself up from the tiny toddler bed but your focus is the bundle of sunshine that bounds her way to your room in her sky-blue jammies. Pushing messy hair from her face, she squeaks happily as you lift her before Steve can beat you to it. You didn’t want another moment apart from your girl and she burrows against your chest under the toasty-warm duvet. 

“Morning Betty Boop.” You press kisses to her smiling face and hear Steve stomp and flop back into the room and into the bed. 

“Is Daddy not invited to this love-in? Just for Mama and Beth?” he asks, scowling at your smushed-together faces. 

You cuddle Beth and stroke her back as the girl shifts her impish gaze to Steve. “What do you think, Betty? Kisses for Dada?”

She can never ever resist him and reach-grabs out to be gathered in his big strong arms for kisses and cuddles. 

Steve lights up, features relaxing from his feigned annoyance, as he gives and receives morning kisses. You are gathered up alongside the titch of a girl and with her help, you smother kisses all over Steve’s happy face. 

“Never ever not invited to the love-in, my love.” You kiss his shadowed jaw once and tuck yourself under his arm. 

“Kiss d’baby?” Beth’s messy head pops up and looks at you hopefully. 

“You wanna say good morning to Baby?” Steve asks, and she nods. “Mama?”

“I think she’s asleep, but I bet she’ll wake up when she hears Big Sis and Dada.” Beneath the pitched tent of the duvet, you lift Steve’s t-shirt and present the rounded bump for inclusion in the morning love-in.

Beth has been immensely eager to meet her baby since she took notice of your bump and realised the new baby was actually in there.

The little girl’s pillow-soft cheek rests against the curve as she hugs around your middle. “Moh’nin, baby.” Her little voice is still a little stuffed up, nasal. 

Your heart and tears swell as you watch her with Steve, who kisses the bump and murmurs hello. You’re at that point of pregnancy where you could cry when the wind changes and you cover your eyes so Beth won’t go out in sympathy-tears with you. 

Steve’s big hand squeezes your hand as he distracts Beth, who babbles in toddler talk to her sibling. His eyes are wide and worried as he looks up and sees the hitch of your chest. He’s had that worried look since you bled at ten weeks and the doctor put you on bed rest, just three weeks into actually knowing you were pregnant. Everything has settled bar your hormones and emotions; two perfect heartbeats, an active healthy baby, a happy but tired Mom. Steve is more scared now than he was with Beth but pretends to be brave for you.

You swipe at your hot tears, dry your hand in your t-shirt before reaching down to stroke through Steve’s thick hair. 

“M’okay.” You give him a watery smile. “She’s just… so sweet, Stevie.” 

Moving up to lie along your side, Steve wipes your cheek and presses a kiss to the trail of the tears left behind. “Sweetest. Sweet Bee. Feelin’ okay?” 

His hand stays on top of your bump and then passes over Bethany’s bedhead when she looks up curiously. 

Seeing that she is missing out, Beth decides she has had enough and wants to cuddle with you instead of the baby who won’t kick back hello. She wiggles up to lie on Steve’s chest, little fingers poking into the freckles and moles as he pulls the duvet back around you all like a cosy cocoon. 

“Feeling good. You okay?”

Steve has tucked away his worry again, but you still see the pinch in his brow - though the curious little fingers might be the reason for that. 

“Peachy.” He chases the poking fingers with a growling kiss, pulling a shrieking giggle from Beth. “Hello, can I help you? Why are we poking Daddy this morning, huh?” 

You giggle with Beth and kiss where her fingers had pressed, modelling the gentle sweetness you know she possesses in multitudes. “Poor Daddy. See, Betty? Gentle kissies.” A kiss is snuck onto his mouth for good measure. 

“Daddy,” Beth sing-songs, patting his cheek lovingly. 

“Bethie,” Steve sings back to her, echoing her melody. He accepts a wet baby-kiss as you curl close to them both.

You twirl a finger in the messy wave of her hair. “What will we do today? Do you want to get some library books? Or we could… go to the park?” 

Steve pats her back gently. “Oh wow. All the possibilities, huh?” His lips press to Beth’s forehead as she cuddles up to him, her fingers distracted by the gold chain he wears around his neck. “Gentle, please.” He kisses her head again and looks at you. “We can do both… Go get a t-r-e-a-t?” 

You smile and nod, covering Steve’s hand on Beth’s small back. “I like t-r-e-a-ts. What do you want to do, big guy?” 

Steve’s fingers slot with yours. His lips brush your head as you share his pillow - the firm one to help with his neck pain. “Just be with you two. Could stay right here all day and I’d be the happiest guy.” 

You press your nose against his cheek and close your eyes; you’re both surrounded by your favourite people, it is utter bliss. 

“I love you.” Your voice is soft and tired against his stubbly jaw. 

“Love you. So much, babe.” 

Steve tilts his head so you can share a morning-breath-be-damned kiss. He wishes he had woke up sooner, before the wide-eyed toddler, so that he could have showered you with kisses, made out like teenagers (despite the baby bump between you). 

“No! Me!” The frustrated little whine makes you smile apologetically to each other, chancing one more peck before you both look to scowling Beth. 

“Sorry, Bee. Mama’s too delicious for me to resist.”

“Steve!” you tuck your face in his neck as you laugh, an affectionate headbutt. 

“What? The kid’s gotta know.”

The two-year-old smushes her face to her Dad’s chest, still too little to comprehend her Dad’s silly banter when she just wants to be the centre of both of your attention. You have a few months left to figure that out before the baby arrives, but it scares you that she might feel like she’s not the best thing that ever happened you (bar her Dad, of course). 

Your pout matches hers and you push back the stinging Mom Guilt Tears. She is only coaxed away with sweet little cheek-kisses from you as you hum-sing Take a Chance on Me (accompanied by Steve’s tapping fingers on her back ‘take a chance, take a chance, take a, take a chance-chance.)

The girl's smile splits her frustrated face, a quiet giggle as she is serenaded by her current favourite song (you have just got I Was Made For Lovin’ You out of your head after Steve had introduced her to KISS in the car). Her little arm hooks around your head as you whisper how much you love her, soft voice tickling her ear and cheek. 

Beth’s laughter coaxes a fluttering kick against your belly, which Steve feels against his side as you spoon against him. He wears the same wide-eyed joy on his face every time he has felt your babies kick. 

“Oo, she’s awake again. Finally joining the party.” You rest your hand against the side of your rounded belly and telepathically tell the tiny one how much you love them too, how you can’t wait to meet them but please stay in there until they’re fully cooked and ready. 

Steve’s free hand - the one not keeping Beth upright as she sits up on his torso - joins yours and echoes your telepathic communication to the littlest Harrington - I love you, I can’t wait to hold you, please stay safe in there and be nice to your Mom. 

His wide palm on your bump settles the fluttering before she aims her kick right against it Hi Dad! Okay, Dad!

You share a secret little smile with him and kiss his cheek as his eyes shimmer before rolling onto your achy back, feeling the satisfaction of the pop and crack as your spine relaxes against the mattress. Steve’s hand stays on your belly, and you hug his arm to your chest, as Beth sings her toddler-babble version of an ABBA mashup for you both from her throne. 

Steve’s face hurts from smiling as he listens to her, hears some semblance of the lyrics in Beth-speak. He doesn’t remember mornings like this with his parents, few and far between were the times he was even allowed to cuddle with them in bed on a weekend morning.

You glance at his face, watching shifting emotions come and go as he remembers, tries to forget and focuses on the memories being made right now in your cosy nest of a bed. You squeeze his arm and hold his hand on your belly - matching gold wedding rings clicking against each other as your fingers intertwine. 

Steve squeezes your hand, three pulses. There is simply nowhere he would rather be. 

[anthonys237thfreckle]

i need need need headcanons for anthony with a gf who’s like got a career in STEM and she’s super smart and as an actor he’s amazed by her lmao.

this is so cute! thanks anon

I’m looking for a woman in STEM - Anthony Ramos x F! Reader

prompt: headcanons for Anthony who’s girlfriend is in STEM - i’ve picked biomed for a degree since my mom wanted me to do biomed in high school

TW: mentions of academic stress and panic attacks, mention of drugs used in medicine, mention of mental illness

🔬 when you both first met, and he first asked for where you graduated from, let me tell you - mans did NOT expect you to say ‘Cambridge’

🔬 ‘Oh, so like Cambridge College in Massachusetts?’

🔬 This man omg

🔬 When you said ‘No, England’ he felt goosebumps cause like ‘geez louise CAMBRIDGE?’ and when you casually said you did biomed he was like ‘wait what-’

🔬 ‘Me? Oh, I did Musical Theatre’ he says matter of factly, and you’d add ‘Oh, I played piano when I was in elementary-’

🔬 You’d be the definition of a perfect golden child. He knows that couldn’t have been easy

🔬 When you two do start dating, he’s always bragging ‘Oh my girlfriend does lab research for this new supplement for this drug for schizophrenia in children-’ HE’S A PRO YAPPER. Especially in interviews.

🔬 He’s so proud of everything you’ve done - doing medicinal research at NYMC (New York Medical College)

🔬 Maybe in the winter as you two are baking (you always make sure the measurements are perfect, never letting him measure anything out lol) he always says baking is an ‘art’

🔬 ‘Actually babe, it’s chemistry’ you’d chuckle, taking a bite out of some gingerbread cookies, and ever since, he’s jokingly kept a lab coat and goggles and chides you for ‘not tying your hair in the lab’.

🔬 You’d tell him about how hard high school and college was for you, having to get a scholarship, going to British private schools because the medicine industry is mad competitive and honestly, you need to show something off in your application.

🔬 You’d tell him how even though you did Cambridge IGCSE and A level courses all throughout high school, it was no match for what England had in store for you - panic attacks became a weekly thing.

🔬 I mean, you did Pure Math, Biology, Chemistry and Psychology A and AS levels for gods sake - its an absolute mindfuck.

🔬 He’s always there to reassure her how smart she is and that she’s human no matter what - that college is over, and the drug trials will end up great, and a bunch of kids will get some damn good medication.

🔬 He LOVES it when you come watch his shows and movies. It means the absolute world to him.

🔬 Soon, he kind of drifted away from theatre after Hamilton, and started in film, and would always get super excited whenever he’d get some remotely science-y role.

🔬 Like in In Treatment, he’d come to you for help for some advice on his role, on some deeper level analysis (not as deep as an actual therapist guys, just a psych student level) and you’d be squealing with pride when you see him on TV.

🔬 And when he got into the more Sci-Fi movies like Transformers, he’d tell you ‘it’s not that deep, baby.’ whenever he’d catch your brows furrow in confusion at the misuse of a niche scientific term

🔬 He’d be so happy when he landed Twisters, even though you weren’t a meteorology student, your use of organic chemistry would def have some revelations when watching Kate use some form of polycarbonate.

🔬 ‘they’re right! they use silver iodide for cloud seeding!” you’d giggle.

🔬 affectionately calls you ‘nerd’ all the time.

— for anyone not british, igcse is from grades 9-10 and a levels are a bit like AP! but like they have a lot of depth. you’re not expected to do more than three.

[strayseraphine]

choice | one shot

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

summary: The opportunity to work in the same place as your childhood best friend is a great, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that it's hard to control the emotions that have been swirling in your hearts for years when you're at arm's length. fluff, a little bit of angst, jealousy, friends to lovers, cheesy fic with our silly cute channie

The kdrama mentioned is called Tomorrow and the fic mentions about episode 5, you have been warned. Here is the song from the episode that also appears in the fic.

TW: menfions of suicide, death, depression

5 204 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

bang chan masterlist | general masterlist | stranger things masterlist

Holding the handle of your suitcase tightly, you felt like a child lost in a crowd. You were breathless, and instead of slowing down, your breathing sped up and became more and more erratic.

What on earth tempted you to leave your entire life so far and fly to the other end of the world?

Then, as if on a call, a reason appeared in front of your eyes.

Despite the cap and mask covering his face, you immediately recognized him. However, not wanting to draw attention to you, you came closer and in silence went to the car, where immediately after closing the door you felt strong arms tighten around you.

"I missed you so much!" he muttered, snuggling into your neck.

"I missed you too, Channie." you laughed as you reciprocated the hug, smelling his perfume, which he had been using since you can remember. You didn't know it was possible to miss a scent that much.

"I can't believe I'm going to work with my best friend!" he said.

"First of all, you're lucky the boys can't hear it, secondly we won't."

"What do you mean we won't?"

"I, unlike you, will be locked in the office."

"But we will be in the same building! We will be able to spend our breaks together, I can bring you coffee and snacks!" he said excitedly with a wide smile on his face and squeezed your hand. You didn't complain about the fact that he didn't let go of you until the car pulled up to your new temporary home.

Two months ago, Chan called you saying that at JYP they were looking for someone for a temporary translator position. Since you were fresh out of college in the process of looking for a job, he thought you should definitely apply. Thinking little, you submitted your application.

Three weeks later, you received an invitation to an online interview, which resulted in a successful outcome and a contract signed for six months.

The experience you were able to gain working for this company was extremely valuable, but you were ashamed to admit that your main motivation for coming here was Chris. As children, the two of you were inseparable, but when he left Australia to chase his dreams both of you stubbornly made sure that contact did not disappear. When he came home on vacation you spent most of your free time together feeling as if he had never left.

Somewhere between playing together in the sandbox, sneaking out of the house for the late-night walks you used to go for when he returned to Australia during his teenage years and skipping lectures at uni just so you could spend the day and then the night with him, a strong bond formed between you.

In it there was something else to be found.

Something you both tried to ignore and push away.

Something that you were killing in each other thinking it was one-sided.

Something that you tried to keep in an iron, indestructible cage deep in your hearts.

Something that shattered the bars every time you saw each other.

The weeks at work were passing awfully fast. Your new co-workers welcomed you very warmly, meetings with Chris became your daily routine, and you felt more and more comfortable here every day. Keeping the promise, you spent all your lunch breaks together, sometimes joined by other members of the group. You quickly became part of the meetings. You even accompanied them during dance rehearsals and studio recordings. Especially Chan. Sitting with him in the studio until the morning hours and greeting sunrises together became almost a habit.

Today, however, you had the day off, while Chris had a full day of rehearsal for the gala to be held in a week's time. A strange feeling of emptiness and longing accompanied you throughout the day. You weren't afraid to admit that you were already used to his daily presence. However, you were afraid to think what will happen when you have to go back to Australia.

In order to focus your thoughts on something else after lunch you turned into a couch potato and started watching kdrama. Completely losing all sense of reality, you fully gave yourself over to the stories of the characters, which moved you to tears. You were snapped out of your trance by a phone call.

"Hello?" you said in a broken voice, not even trying to hide that you were crying. Unfortunately, the other side of the phone remained quiet and quickly hung up. Not caring much you wanted to go back to watching, but moments later Chan barged into your apartment without even bothering to knock on the door.

"Chris? what are you doing here?" you asked surprised still sobbing.

"What happened?" He asked. The sight of your heartbroken voice on the phone made his heart freeze.

"What?"

"We finished training, so I figured you were probably still awake and in the mood for something to eat, I called and heard you crying. What happened?" he explained quickly with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh god… Nothing happened! It just- It was just so damn beautifull and sad!" you laughed through your tears.

"Were you watching drama again?" he just sighed feeling small relief.

"Of course I was!"

"You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I am sorry!" you threw a pillow in his diercion.

"Okay, okay, what was it about?" he shook his head, sitting down next to you.

"She died in a car accident, and he was someone who had to deal with a lot of deaths of his loved ones, his whole life, everyone blamed him for it! and he did nothing wrong!" you felt like your throat was shrinking. "His father blamed him for his mother's death because she died while giving birth, then when his wife died, her father also blamed him and he was in such a dark place, he wanted to kill himself, he believed them, that it was his fault!" you were ranting about character history, and he was just looking at you with a smile on his lips.

Despite the fact that your eyes were swollen and red from crying, he found something somehow adorable. Something pure. Something that made him want to hide you in his arms and kiss the tears off your cheeks. However, he quickly had to chase these thoughts away. After all, he was incapable of falling in love, wasn't he?

"And they show love in such a beautiful way here! Maybe I don't agree with "you are my whole life attitude" but in other aspects? They compare human beings to a tree, you know? People are like trees, And what matters is who makes the flowers bloom on the tree, which means your life can change depending on who you meet. At that moment she proposes to him, saying she wants to be the one to make the flowers on his tree bloom."

"A beautiful metaphor." he replied.

"Right? Later they present the red thread theory, which says that they are connected to each other and will find each other in each incarnation, which gives such a strange sense of hope! But I still think love is more of a choice than a destiny, which seems much stronger, because if I heard from someone now that I'm their whole world and their life doesn't exist without me I don't know if I'd be scared."

"How is it that you're one of the most romantic people I know, and you're afraid of such great confessions of love?" he asked.

"Imagine being in a relationship with a very toxic person, and when you want to get away from them they start threatening to kill themselves because they can't live without you. People in moments of desperation are able to go as far as anything, and love, despite the fact that it is very beautiful, can make a person very stupid." you explained.

"You are right."

"I am lucky enough to have some people who genuinely want the flowers on my tree bloom." you smiled. "You are one of them, by the way." you leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you also take very good care of my tree." he replied without thinking. "Not only mine." he added quickly with a grunt. He began thinking about how other people feel in your company. About how there is always brightness and warmth in the room along with you. About how in his life the dark void was decorated with shining stars creating a beautiful night sky thanks to you.

"Who do you think your red thread is connected to?" you asked suddenly after a moment of silence.

"Mine?" he asked puzzled. Certainly not with the person I would like to. He thought. "Mine has probably been broken."

"I don't think so, in the show they said it only breaks at the moment of suicide. You are still here Chan, your thread surely leads to someone wonderful, as you deserve." You patted him on the knee. "Oh! there was also a very beautiful song in this episode, wanna hear?"

"Sure." He replied quietly and watched you get up from the couch to your laptop. He watched your every move, hoping to spot at least the thinnest red thread between the two of you.

"Can you focus?" Lee Know asked rolling his eyes.

"Earth to kangaroo! Where are you Chan?" added Han waving his hand in front of his face.

"I am focused, I don't know what you mean." he replied trying to defend himself.

"We have been practicing the same routine for an hour, and you are messing up the steps as if you were dancing it for the first time. " Minho squinted his eyes.

"Come on, give him a break, he is in looove." laughed Hyunjin.

"I am not!"

"We can see that there is something between the two of you, we can see how you look at her, you can't fool us, you do not look at a friend like that."

"I am not in love with y/n!" he said loudly, but without conviction. Saying those words caused him pain. Somehow saying that he doesn't love you felt wrong.

"But you know…none of us said her name out loud." said Changbin more peacefully.

"But-" Chan sighed and resignedly hid his face in his hands. For years he had pushed his feelings aside, but now that you were so close and had become an integral part of his life it was too difficult.

"Why you never let me bring her brownies that I made?" Felix laughed.

"Why do you always smile like an idiot when she sends you a photo?" I.N added.

"Let's just go back to the practice." He cut off the subject, knowing that the guys were right. Nevertheless, he knew that the moment he admitted it, nothing would be the same again, and changes can be scary.

In every job, no matter how wonderful, there are hard times. Today, some of your co-workers decided to take out their bad mood and frustration over non-functioning equipment on the team you were on. Although you knew that their bad mood was caused by the work reorganization, some unpleasant comments and remarks were particularly memorable and ruined your mood.

Due to a system failure that prevented you from working, you were told to go home before lunch, so you were not surprised to hear the sound of the phone at the hour when you usually meet.

"Where are you?" asked Chan.

"There was a system malfunction and they let us go home."

"So you won't be joining us?"

"What? Why?" Felix's voice came from the background. "But I made brownies! I brought them for you!" he took Chan's phone closer.

"Give me the phone, Felix!"

There was a commotion on the other side of the phone. You could imagine Felix running away with the phone and the guys helping him keep the leader at bay.

"Hey y/n!"

"Hey Seungmin, what's up?"

"Bang Chan misses you!" you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tell him I miss him too," you chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough!" judging by Seungmin's mumbling and laughing, you concluded that the phone had returned to its owner.

"Talk to you later, bye!" he hung up before you had time to answer anything.

Since you had more time today, you decided to use it for cleaning, which always helped you to calm down to some extent, losing yourself in it and in the music from the speaker, you didn't know when a few hours had passed. Satisfied with your clean surroundings, you sat down on the couch, but after a while you felt a wave of fatigue hit you. With nothing better to do, you covered yourself with a blanket and fell asleep.

Unfortunately, this time the nap did not help your mood, and the sound of a knock on the door that woke you up made you even more upset. Covered with a blanket, you moved slowly toward the door. Then, as if by magic, when you saw Chan in the doorway, all your anger vanished and was replaced by…relief?

With a mournful whimper, you let your emotions carry you and without asking, you hugged him, cuddling into his chest. Surprised at first, he made no move, but he quickly woke up and you felt him embrace you. The familiar scent of his perfume created a sense of security in your mind that made every negative feeling inside you want to find an escape. Your breathing became more and more shaky as you fought back the tears that came to your eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, sensing your stress. "Let it out, I'm here." His large hand began to slide up and down your back, caressing you.

"You are here." you muttered while snuggling even more into his shirt. He had the feeling that his heart was now on fire, but it wasn't the heat causing unbearable pain. It was the fire that slowly burns in the fireplace on winter evenings warming the house. Home. That's how he felt in your company.

"Come, let's sit down and you'll tell me all about it." he suggested, however, you still did not want to leave his arms. Selfishly you tightened your embrace without moving from your spot. "We can cuddle on the couch, come on." he chuckled seeing your reaction. Sitting snuggled into each other, Chan connected to the speaker and played your playlist with calmer songs in the background. It took a moment before you started to open up and talk about what had overwhelmed you today.

"I am so sorry." he murmured into your hair.

"I feel better now." you replied quietly.

"For real?"

"You are here so…yes."

A silence fell between the two of you but it was not awkward. At this level of friendship, shared silence was not something new or strange for you. The silence was broken by the sounds of another song.

"Ah, I love this song," he said. "I can't stop listening to it since you showed it to me."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Along with the melody and the singer, Chan's soft and calm voice also began to spread around the room. You closed your eyes relishing the blissful moment, thinking you had found something good in this awful day. If it weren't for the nasty mood, you wouldn't have found comfort and solace in his arms.

How wonderful it would be if you could do this without any excuse?

"Do you remember when we fell asleep together like that, and Hannah took a picture of us and sent it out to all our friends and family saying that we were together?" he asked when the song was over.

"Yes," you laughed slightly at the memory.

"God, I wanted to kill her then." he also laughed.

"Why?"

"Uh, I mean its us, right? Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?" he replied embarrassed. This answer turned out to be a strong punch, which you had to take with clenched teeth and pretend that everything was fine.

The thing you didn't know was that what he said was just an escape from the truth. That day when everyone was congratulating you and telling you that you were finally a couple, he was afraid like nothing else that you would discover the truth about his feelings and that deep down he really wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, he did not know that you were on the same page.

Best friends, how could anyone think we are a couple?

These words haunted you for the next few days. No matter how good your mood was, they always came back ruining it instantly. They also pushed you to accepting a date to which you were invited by an employee from the marketing department. You were very often matched for joint projects, you worked very well together, you found nothing of agreement right away, but you didn't see this being blinded by Chan and your feelings for him. But since in his opinion you were just friends and had no chance to get out of this sphere, it was time to move on.

"y/n do you have any plans for tomorrow?" I.N asked, passing you in the hallway.

"I don't have until four, why?"

"We have a day off and we wanted to go shopping with Felix, why don't you go for a walk with us?"

"Sure!" the idea was good, you took it as an opportunity to buy something nice for your date.

"Cool, in that case we'll be in touch!" Maknae smiled charmingly, reminding you how similar he is to his skzoo.

"Sounds like a plan." you smiled back and returned to your desk. The rest of the day passed very smoothly and quickly for you.

Before you knew it you were already on your way to go shopping. Yeongin and Felix carefully browsed each hanger however you absent-mindedly only glanced superficially at the clothes. Your date was getting closer and closer however the less time left the more anxious and uncertain you felt. The fact that the person you were to spend the evening with was not Chan made it all seem…wrong.

How else were you able to move on?

Was it fair what you were doing now?

How would you feel if someone went on a date with you just to forget about someone else?

On the other hand, after all, that wasn't your only motive. In truth, you liked Minjun. He was handsome, kind, funny, you had many common interests, you really wanted to get to know him better.

"Earth to y/n!" the voice of Felix brought you back to reality.

"What?" you shrugged.

"Say hello to Chan!" Yeongin exclaimed happily, pointing his phone's camera at you. "We decided to show him how much fun we are having while he has to work."

"You are cruel!" at the sound of his voice you felt like you were caught in a crime. Not knowing what to do you awkwardly waved towards the camera, and then grabbed the first better dress and hid in the fitting room feeling embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with you? you thought looking at your reflection in the mirror.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felix asked lightly knocking on the fitting room door.

"Uh-yes!" you replied quickly, "I'm just trying on a dress!"

"In that case we are waiting for you to show up in it!"

The dress turned out to lie perfectly on you. The guys' assurances that you look good in it finally convinced you to the purchase.

When you got home it was time for preparations. Preparations that stressed you out even more. You tried to drown out your thoughts with music, but it was especially hard when a large part of your playlist consisted of songs by a band whose leader is the person you are trying to forget. The other part of the playlist was the songs you associated with him anyway. When you heard the first notes of Summer Flower you felt that you were in a no-win situation. If for so many years, being thousands of miles away, you had not managed to forget him how were you supposed to do it now having him at your fingertips almost every day? With a sigh you looked at the couch thinking about the moment when he held you there in his arms harmonizing his voice with the song.

What if he were here now?

What if now instead of getting ready for a date you were preparing snacks for a movie night together?

If you could spend the whole afternoon and evening cuddled up with him, holding his hand or playing with his hair if he laid his head on your lap?

Apparently, fate could read your mind, because as you combed your hair through the sound of the music a knock at the door broke through. Then you were greeted by the sight of Chris with a bag of snacks.

"I thought since I missed shopping together, we could make up for it with a marathon instead." he said dodging you at the threshold and entering the apartment.

Not knowing what to say you stared at him. The silence on your part prompted him to stop. Still not guessing anything, he noticed the brush in your hand and the knot in your hair. "Come on, let me help you." You went to the bedroom where you sat in front of the mirror. He hummed under his breath combing your hair with a slight smile on his lips enjoying this little moment. Whenever he combed your hair you laughed that he was giving you the princess treatment. That wasn't the case this time, which made him feel a little strange. "What do you feel like? a movie? kdrama? anime?" he tried to strike up a conversation. The fact that you haven't spoken a word since he came in increased this feeling.

"Chris…" Hearing your quiet, nervous voice he looked around. A dress hanging on a hanger, waiting to be put on, cosmetics scattered next to the mirror, an open jewelry box. It didn't take him long to guess that watching together today wouldn't work out.

"Are you going out somewhere?" he asked.

"I'm going on a date…" You said while sticking your gaze to the floor.

"Oh." visibly surprised, he stopped combing your hair for a moment. "Who's the lucky guy?" he asked in a forced joking tone, not wanting to make the situation seem even stranger.

"Minjun from the marketing department." you wanted to avoid looking at him at all costs. You were afraid of what you might see if you lifted your gaze. You were afraid that you would see disappointment, or worse, happiness and satisfaction that you were going out with someone else. However, if you actually looked at him you would see Channie's charming smile turn into a heartbroken expression. He could feel the jealousy building up in him, which he had to nip in the bud already. He couldn't let you notice, so he finished combing your hair as quickly as possible and left, explaining that he didn't want to disturb your preparations. You didn't protest, but something inside you was asking, begging even to tell you not to go anywhere and to stay here with him.

"I can't believe you lost to the guy from the marketing department." said Minho sitting down on the couch next to him. As soon as he left your flat he wanted to hole up in the studio however, halfway through a message about a movie marathon appeared on the group chat.

"Actually, he didn't lose because there was no competition," said Han.

"Exactly, if you had told her how you felt earlier she would have definitely chosen you" added Changbin.

"Can we focus on the movie?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Sorry hyung but this is definitely more interesting than the movie". said Hyunjin.

"You should go there and break the date." suggested Seungmin.

"Make up some excuse and call that you two absolutely must meet now!" I.N followed his idea.

"Can you guys just shut up and focus on the movie?" he asked more annoyed. There was a silence all around, which made him feel even worse. "I'm sorry…" he sighed. "I know I screwed up, but it's too late."

"We just want you to be happy." said Felix handing him a brownie on a plate.

"Even if it did work out…she doesn't deserve to hide and keep everything a secret."

"Maybe she won't mind? Maybe you can find a solution? Whatever is going on between you two has been going on for years, look how far you've come."

"Let's just focus on the movie, please."

Despite the fact that the guys had let the subject go and now the room was filled with laughter and loud comments about what was happening on the screen Chris couldn't focus at all. His head was filled with scenarios of what you can do now, did you have fun, did you let him hold your hand? hug you? kiss you? Jealousy bubbled up inside him but what could he do?

Somewhere near the end of the movie, his phone started vibrating with notifications, which he decided to ignore. Seungmin, however, annoyed by the constant vibrating, grabbed his phone to mute it but your nickname caught his attention.

"Chan you won't believe who it is." he said with a smile and started typing something.

"Who?" asked the unmoved leader, the only person he wanted to see a message from now was having a great time on a date with someone else. He didn't get an answer for a long moment.

"y/n didn't go on the date." This sentence made all the energy come back to him and he immediately snatched the phone from his hand to see the news.

c97b: why are you sending me tiktoks while being on a date? (your nickname): I am not on the date c97b: what? (your nickname): he cancelled last minute, so…

He looked at the phone in disbelief.

"Do something!" a shout from Lee Know brought him back to reality.

"This is your chance!" applauded Changbin.

Before he had time to think anything through his fingers were already running across the keyboard.

c97b: put the dress on. (your nickname): what? c97b: wear the dress, I will be there in 10.

What the hell is he doing? What will he tell you? How will he behave?

Thoughts and insecurities ate him from the inside out, and his hand was shaking when he was knocking at the door. However, when you opened it suddenly all the bad thoughts disappeared. All that mattered was how beautiful you looked now, and the struggle with the need to take you in his arms and not let you out of them.

Greeting you with a boyishly charming smile, he said it would be a shame if all your preparations for the going out went to waste. It was enough to make your disappointment with Minjun disappear. Enough for him to completely disappear from your thoughts which were once again completely possessed by your best friend.

Enjoying the last rays of sunshine today you went to the park for ice cream. You took a blanket with you to sit on the grass near the pond.

The meeting was not much different from the others, you were talking about everything and nothing, walking along the winding paths, watching the dogs playing, laughing how wonderful it would be to have little Berry here with you now and how she would love it here. The ice cream was the perfect cool down and sweetness, but Chan's showing dimples and his silly jokes were much sweeter.

Moments before sunset, you spread out your blanket and sat in silence watching the sky slowly turning orange and the sun disappearing behind the horizon directing its last warm rays at you, which you accepted with a smile.

"Thank you Channie." you said looking away from the scenery. Now you were able to notice that instead of watching the sunset, he was looking at you.

"You have nothing to thank me for." He shrugged his shoulders.

"For being there." You smiled slightly.

"I always will be." he replied without thinking.

"That's what friends are for, right?" You couldn't help the note of sadness creeping into your voice.

"y/n…" suddenly his face paled.

"What's wrong?" you asked worriedly.

"I think- I-" he began to stammer.

"Chris, whats going on?" The darkest scenarios appeared in front of your eyes, and panic rose in you.

"I think I am in love with you." he whispered.

"Oh my god-" surprised you covered your mouth with your hand. The shock on your face scared him more than it would have if your reaction had been instant rejection.

"I know, I know! But- I beg you even if you don't feel the same, let's just forget about it, I just had to tell you, finally after all these years, I couldn't hold it in anymore, but I understand that I'm just a friend to you, I don't want to lose you just because of some stupid feelings, hmp-" suddenly his ranting was interrupted by your lips. Sweet, soft lips that he had dreamed of touching for years. He had just fulfilled a scenario that had always seemed unattainable. Without wasting a moment he cupped your face making you cling even closer to him. The happiness that filled you pressed a smile to your lips that interrupted the kiss.

"If your feelings are stupid that means mine are too, because I feel exactly the same as you, you fool." you said quietly.

"I am a fool, a fool for you." he replied and kissed you again.

When you broke away from each other, this time hugging, you finished watching the sunset, which now seemed much more beautiful.

"It's gonna be hard…" he said after a moment of silence.

"Love isn't easy" you said. "b"But it's definitely worth it."

"How are we going to deal with all this?"

"We will find a solution, we always do."

"You think so?"

"Channie…" you took his hand, brought it to your lips and gently kissed the top of it. "I don't want to suddenly become your whole world, you won't be mine either, we both have separate lives, but love is not about the other person suddenly becoming the only thing we see. Love is about understanding that we both have separate worlds but we also have the desire to merge them. Love is finding a common path together."

"You are walkig hope, you know this?"

"Love is not fate, it is a choice. And that's what makes it powerful." You added again kissing his hand.

"You are my choice." he replied kissing your forehead.

No matter how crazy the collision of these worlds will be, he believed that as long as you are together everything will work out.

[niconebula]

I’m currently writing a college essay on the representation of Witches (and all Magical Girls) in Madoka Magica; I don’t know if I will be able to include this within the limits of the project so I wanted to share to Tumblr instead. It does not seem to be widely understood how much yonic imagery there is in the series and how important that is to the intended message.

For starters Kyubey is a walking uterus. The name of his species is literally Incubator (an enclosed apparatus providing a controlled environment for the care and protection of premature or unusually small babies; an apparatus used to hatch eggs or grow microorganisms under controlled conditions). He creates egg-shaped Soul Gems, and deposits the Grief Seeds back into his little receptacle. Why does he have such a weird design with two sets of ears? The lower ‘ears’ with the separated ends are actually modelled off of what Fallopian Tubes look like.

(Funny diagram but. It’s true! I’ll come back to this point at the end).

So then take this scene (thank god someone reuploaded it to YouTube):

“And you think a shit-for-brains hoe is going to be making that much in ten years? That body ain’t gonna last forever, you know.” “And then you dump ‘em, and they get all whiny!”

These two men are talking about the short term relationships they have with women, using them for their bodies and treating them like shit, and then dumping them immediately after - not understanding or caring as to how this upsets them.

It consistently baffles me how many people will completely throw out feminist readings of Madoka Magica. ‘Readings’ shouldn’t even be used - this is the main text of the goddamn show! You are free to argue that it failed at its message, or that the application was problematic, but for this scene in particular to fly over your head makes me discount opinions immediately.

Anyway, where have we heard this rhetoric before? “That body ain’t gonna last forever” - a young Magical Girl is always destined to turn into the Wicked Witch. “When you dump em’, they get all whiny!” - it is a Magical Girl at the peak of her despair who turns into a Witch, and Kyubey cannot and does not care for their human emotion.

The men cycle through their ‘hoes’ like Kyubey cycles through Magical Girls to get whatever his species supposedly needs to continue the universe.

I’m going to cut a break here for TW discussions of metaphorical rape and pregnancy involving minors, but this portion of the post is important.

Kyubey completely violates the concept of informed consent when he creates his magical girls - though he always argues that he did ask, and it’s in fact their fault (as fourteen year old girls) to not ask further questions.

Taking his form as a uterus alongside the yonic imagery of the show, it is implied that Kyubey has in some way ‘raped’ the girls. This is most evident in Sayaka’s arc; her insistence that becoming a Magical Girl has made her spoiled and that Kyousuke wouldn’t want to even kiss a girl like her.

Their transformations into witches further the idea that they have been ‘spoiled’, but also symbolize their transformation into adult women. Women who are ‘too adult’, and whose bodies are no longer attractive or useful to create babies anymore.

Goddess Madoka is even depicted as pregnant in the full Magia ending.

I feel like you could reason within all this symbolism that there’s a metaphor for specifically the coerced pregnancy and mothership of women. Something often considered the ‘ideal state’ for women and as you will see many conservatives argue, the necessary thing to continue society. In their minds, the subjugation of anyone they assign as women to these roles is necessary for society as they know it to continue for the imaginary people of the future who do not even exist yet.

Kyubey refers to the Magical Girls as cattle. He is there to help incubate and hatch the witch, and then throw the magical girl to the dust afterwards as she dies no longer useful. These girls are sacrifices to a far-off future that Kyubey promises them, he tells them that if no Magical Girls existed to hatch into Witches, humanity would not last long enough to see itself to the stars.

The incubator and his design, the soul gems and grief seeds, the pregnant madoka, the discussions about men liking their eggs a particular way by their homeroom teacher, it’s all very consistent. I’m not sure if my prospective readers have ever considered this within Madoka Magica - but try seeing it from this angle.

I didn’t find a way to work this into the post, but in addition: take the ancient myth of the wandering womb. This was the belief that so called over-emotional women were suffering from a condition where their uterus was moving in ways all across their bodies. It morphed into the more modern usage of female hysteria; hysteria coming from hystera- the Greek word for uterus. Kyubey thinks of the girls as constantly overreacting and overemotional. Hysterical.

[bunnydolllies016]

Lab of the Damned

Chapter 1: Welcome Mc, to A.M.L!

(This is the first chapter of the main story of the Obey Me! Dark lab au! Be warned that future installments will include more gore and violence. The mc/reader is GN, so it'll be Obey me x Gn! reader. TW: Blood, dark themes mentioned, describes some violence.) Chp. 1 (you are here), Chp. 2(Coming soon)

"Greetings Mc!

We are sending you this letter regarding your application to work at Angel's Medicine Laboratory. We are so happy to welcome you to the A.M.L family! Please come into our main building as soon as possible through the hours of 8 A.M to 10 P.M for a tour and to sign your work contract. We'll provide you with your own living space as well so please bring your dear belongings.

We here at A.M.L. can't wait to meet you in person! We hope you'll love becoming part of our family.

Hope to see you soon,

Simeon Angel."

You couldn't believe it, even as you continued to hold the letter in your hands you couldn't believe it was real. You squealed happily and hugged the letter close to your chest, you can finally help make the world a better place! All the struggle throughout high school and a four-year college would finally be worth it. Also, you won't have to live with your parents anymore! You waste no time texting your parents the news, receiving congrats and support in a matter of minutes as you begin to pack up your more important items. Different outfits, some family photos, and anything else you held dear and wanted to keep with you. In the end, you had a backpack and gym bag full of stuff as you began to head out. By now your parents had rushed home to see you off and say their goodbyes. You got in your car and were off, it took you thirty minutes to finally reach the main building and it was around 1 P.M now. You sped-walked into the main building with your bags in hand, stopping to face the lady at the reception desk who seemed to be drawing something out, looked like some elaborate trap. You coughed to get their attention. The woman faced you, their pink rooted hair bounced a bit, and the blue in it looked like a good contrast to the pink. Their green eyes stared at you as they began to speak.

"Good Evening, Welcome to A.M.L., who are you and what do you need?" Their tone sounded slightly annoyed. 'Rude much?' you had thought to yourself.

"Hello, My name is Mc. I'm here for my tour and to sign my contract. Do I sign it here or?...." You say as you wait for their response. Instead, their neon green eyes look you up and down before they pick up their phone and dial a number. You hear them mumble your name over it before the person on the other line hangs up first.

"He'll be down here to get you and greet you shortly, please stay still and wait." They say before going back to drawing whatever they had been before you interrupted them. You decide to look at their name tag, 'Thirteen', what a weird name. Before you know it you see him, your eyes lighting up with recognition. Simeon Angel himself has come to greet you!

"Ah! You must be Mc!" He had begun to speak before a small bark sounded from his bag. You looked down at it just to be greeted by a light blonde chihuahua in a white hat. 'cute..' you thought to yourself. Simeon coughed before he chuckled. "Don't mind Luke, let's go to my office so we can get your papers signed," he says before motioning you to follow him into a nearby elevator. "Just leave your bags here, they'll be taken to your new living quarters by some fellow employees," Simeon states as he steps into the open elevator.

"Of course sir!" You say and do as told, dropping your bags in a nearby chair, and watching as they're taken by two mysterious people before you follow the slim male into the elevator. Eventually, you find yourself sitting at a desk, Simeon Angel behind the desk and in front of you. 

"Well Mc, I'm happy to congratulate you in person! I have your contract right here, please do sign it." The man says with a smile as he hands you a clipboard, your contract on it. You briefly read it, not really paying attention to the details, he definitely wouldn't be hiding anything dark in this contract, right? You sign the contract and hand it back to Simeon, who smiles at you and stamps it, confirming you signed it. Simeon speaks up as he takes Luke out of his bag to roam his office, "Thank you! You're the most perfect person for this role! Here take this." The male before you hands you a watch, it looks... weird, you put it on anyway, and once on your wrist, it locked around it. "Don't worry about that! It's just waterproof." Simeon says, his smile still kind and bright as he stands up and motions you to follow. He leads you out of his office, leaving Luke in it as he takes you to go get your uniform and badge. You take the bag containing your clothes and ID, smiling at Simeon before you speak up,

"Thank you, sir!" You begin with a soft smile, "Which part of the lab will I be working?" You miss it but a dark look crosses Simeon's face as he softly smirks.

"I'll take you down there now!" Simeon responds as he motions you to follow again. As you walk with him, you notice he's taking you to a darker part of the building, it somewhat looks hardly used. He stops you at an elevator and digs out a badge, using it to call the elevator. "Your department is top secret, as stated in your contract you can not talk about this work with anyone at all, we'll know if you do." He says, his voice having a somewhat dark undertone despite the soft smile on his face. "Now come along, the tour begins now!" Simeon states as the elevator door opens and he steps inside, you waste no time in following him.

You feel nervous the lower the elevator goes and decide to speak up, "So, why is the department I'm in on such a low floor?" You ask nervously with a small smile, trying to think of what kind of work you could be doing down here. You jump as the elevator stops with a thunk, not expecting the elevator to sound like, especially when the rest of the building is so modern and well-built.

"Well Mc, you will be a caretaker of sorts for our... subjects... I know it won't be too much for you to handle! They're sure to love you..." Simeon says as the dark look on his face is still present, but he still is smiling. You raise a brow, didn't A.M.L claim to not use animals as product and medicine testers? "This is the entrance hall, where you'll use your watch against that machine to clock in." He speaks softly as he points to a machine in front of the both of you. He walks forward and expects you to follow of course. Your eyes widened as you entered the next area; It was a long hallway of some sort, different testing chambers on either side. As you walk beside Simeon you aren't listening as he speaks about each room. Your heart is full of fear and dread as you see what, no, who they are testing on. In the testing room, before you stands a man with white hair in a lab coat, a sinister and sadistic look on his face as he uses a cattle prod to poke and taze a much taller man with black hair, his red eyes showing displeasure and disgust for the man prodding at him, he doesn't even flinch as he is tazed, no spasming or reaction at all came from him, his clothes were disheveled from the prodding though. That wasn't the weirdest part of the man, no it was the very pointy ears, the black horns coming from his head and the four wings coming from his back, all pitch black and some feathers clearly missing, whether it be from this kind of abuse or stress you can't tell.

"W-what the fuck?" You stuttered out as you stepped away from the glass on the testing chamber, not seeing the amused expression Simeon flashed your way.

"That is one of the nine subjects you will be looking after! His name is Lucifer, he is one of the best "demons" we have!" Simeon states as if he is just talking about the weather and not a fully grown man he's having his employees test on.

You stare at the dark-skinned male before you, a look of shock and fear across your face as you speak up in a confused but fearful voice, "Nine? Demons? Huh?" Just as you were about to continue before loud crashing, low growls, and yelling interrupted you; they came from down the hallway. Looking over revealed more "demons", specifically two certain ones fighting. One was a dark-tanned male, with slightly pointed ears, a full head of white hair, and blue eyes that had a golden-yellow gradient. He has horns that look somewhat like spirals atop his head, large bat-like wings come from his back and they flap violently. He's on top of the other male, throwing punches as different scientists try to pry him off the man below him. The male below him has pale skin, and what seems to be scales on it in certain places, he, like the two before him, has pointed ears, but his seemed to have two different pointed ends, somewhat like fish fins. His hair is a blueish-purple color and his eyes are a glowing orange with a purple gradient, the whites of his eyes seem to be a slight grey color. His horns look like coral and are a black color but have a hint of blue to them, he also seems to have a long lizard-like tail.

"Ah, Mammon and Leviathan are at it again. We'll have to punish them...again..." Simeon says, his tone showing distaste but amusement at the chaos around him as he ignores your comment. A door behind you opens and you turn to check it out, you are horrified at the man who stood behind you. He had to be about 7'5 in height alone, he was so muscular and well-built, with a muzzle around his mouth and his hands cuffed in front of him as he looked down at you with interest; he was sniffing you through the muzzle. His hair is a bright orange, his ears pointed but droopy, and he has purple eyes that seem to fade into magenta and then red, one of the whites of his eyes isn't white, but rather an inky black color. Scars litter across his body, along with weird black markings, he has black horns that curve and almost crown his head, fly-like wings coming from his back buzz softly as he continues to stare down at you. "Beelzebub! Now, Now, stop drooling into your muzzle at your new caretaker's scent! Mc this is Beelzebub, Beelzebub this is Mc, your new caretaker!" Simeon says to the towering male standing before them, who looks at Simeon with a somewhat blank expression, you can see some fear and pain in his purple eyes as he stares at Simeon.

"Wait a damn minute please!" You cry out to Simeon, finally catching his attention, and now Beelzebub, who watches you closely but with clear hesitance. "I can't possibly work here after seeing all of this! This is s-so.. so.. fucked up!" You said as you took several steps away from Simeon.

Simeon stopped smiling, his expression dark and serious as he spoke, "You don't have a choice, you signed a two-year contract with us. You're stuck here...unless you'd rather face certain consequences for trying to go against your contract." As he spoke the watch around your wrist tightened and its screen flashed red. By the look on Simeon's face, you knew the consequence of going against him would either be death or the same fate as the subjects you'll be in charge of.

"B-but- I-" You tried to protest but Simeon put a finger to your lips to hush you, a sinister smile on his own lips.

"Shhh, Mc. You already signed away your life to me." Simeon began to speak softly, but his eyes showed sadistic amusement at your internal conflict about all of this. "If this really had bothered you..." Simeon begins again, Beelzebub looks at you sadly and with pity as a guard begins to walk him back to his containment chamber, he can tell you're a good person who just got caught up in a bad situation, he can only hope you stay a good person in here. "Then you should have read the fine print." Simeon finished speaking with a cold smile as he looked down at you. Dread filled you completely, these two years weren't going to end well.

"Welcome to A.M.L, Mc. I can't wait to see all the good work you'll do."

(Well I'm not sure when I'll be able to work on chapter 2, I just started my psychology class, so I'll try my best to work on it when I can. Hope you enjoyed it! This is also posted on my AO3 account and shouldn't be anywhere else but here and there.)

[sammygender]

saw your post about fic rec lists. do you have any spn fic recs? 5 spn fics to read before you die? or sam-centric fics, especially set in the first 5 seasons/pre-canon? (that last is just me telling on my own preferences, lol)

literally 95% of the supernatural fic i read is pre-canon and almost all of it is, if not sam-centric, then sam-heavy. so. not all of the fics r necessarily 100% my interpretation, especially in regards to john takes, but theyre all really excellent

The Very First Stone by road_rhythm. LOVE this one so much. read if you want excellent characterisation of all 3 winchesters, gorgeous writing and a genuinely gripping narrative. set one summer when sam and dean are teenagers, feels the most like an actual novel of any of the fics on this list. also really like the john in this

Run Aground by themegalosaurus. devastatingly good casefic set just before sam leaves for stanford

Ways We Stay Alive by yet_intrepid. read if you dont mind a particularly awful john - this ones emotionally tough, heed tags. training exercise fic!

Emergency On Planet Earth by EudociaCovert. SO obsessed with this concept and little kid sammy. tldr sam is worried john's a serial killer

is it cheating if i rec my own fics? whatever, i will anyway - my fic series is all precanon and often sam-centric, the most sam-centric ones are probably waiting for the day they escape, a perfect body, a perfect soul, and my personal favourite something soon, where sam keeps having dreams about patricide.

im also really fond of

8 early drafts of Sam Winchester's college application essay and the one he sent to Stanford (the sweet little blonde jam) . oneshot, is what it says on the tin. love their relationship in this

Wound and Unwound by fascra - love this fic soo much. if you want to get into the mind of fucked up teenage sam, this is for you. careful on the tws on this one it delves into eating disorders very heavily

No Child Left Behind by Zeke21 - more dean-centric but has really excellent sam too, beautifully written and feels very real and grounded, heed tags though.

Terrible Liars by panfriedeggs. stanford era jess pov, dean comes to stay.

Nickel and Dime by Linden - outsider pov, CPS gets called on the winchesters. love this one. tagged sam/dean but its just gen

The Prettiest Princess - set after its a very spn christmas (the precanon part). both very cute and very upsetting, perfect recipe for precanon

MRSA . Dean's cut gets badly infected.

and, cheating, because this is an AU and therefore not technically pre-canon, but i loooove it: the body and the boneyard by hellsreluctantheir

may add more if i think of them later.. i read a lot of fic. feel free to send asks for anything more specific!!!

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Not Your Classic Vigilante [Ch. 11]

Alternate Dimension AU TW: Language, Light Alcohol CW: OC Use, See the OC Guide [Here] Genre: Drama, Action, Angst, Light Comedy Pairing: Batfamily & Batsis!Reader, OC x Reader YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 7.4K

(11/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next] [DC Masterlist] | [Not Your Classic Vigilante Masterlist]

Notes: This has to be the fastest I've uploaded an update AHAHA also quick heads up I updated the OC Guide

Disclaimer: This series is originally by @fandom-meanderer who is a close friend of mine, but she has since fallen out of her Tumblr days and asked me to finish a few series for her, hence why I am now in ownership of the Not Your Classic Vigilante series, I hope I can still live up to her writing as I rewrite this series! (I promise not to change too much, hehe)

2015

“I’m home,” your keys hung loosely from your hands. “Hello?” Usually, you would’ve been greeted by at least Alfred. “Timmy? Cass?” Still, no response. “Well, what the fuck,” you shrugged and trudged upstairs. The manor was unnervingly quiet today, and you knew well enough that there was something amiss. Then, finally, you heard a conversation just ahead.

“I apologize if it’s a little cramped,” Alfred remarks. You stuck your head in. “Ah, Miss (Y/N), welcome home.”

“Hey, Alfred,” you looked at the child in front of you. “Huh… they get younger every year,” you crossed your arms.

“And who the hell are you?” He snarks. “A maid?”

“Oh, and he’s feisty,” you leaned against the door frame. “What’s your story then? Orphaned? Stole tires? Figured him out?” You went down the line and counted on your hands.

“Not necessarily,” your dad walks in from behind you and you jumped in your shoes.

“Hello to you too,” you rolled your eyes.

“(Y/N), this is Damian,” your father introduces him. “He’s your brother.” Your eyes widened. You looked at Damian again and, now that you really thought of it, you could see the resemblance to older pictures of your dad.

“Half brother, I’m guessing,” you added.

“Right. This will be his home from now on, help him get adjusted,” your father places the luggage in his hands down. “But, I’m not too worried about you.”

“Huh, have you told Dick yet?”

“He got here half an hour ago.”

“Oh, well, I guess I’ll clean up whatever mess happens,” you pushed off of the door now. “It’s nice to meet you, Damian, let’s get to know each other better later once you’re finished unpacking. I know a great arcade in the city you might like,” you adjusted your backpack and crossed the hall to your room. You leaned your backpack against your desk and went straight to work. The college application deadline was fast approaching and you had to be on top of it, then exam season was also following in its heels so you had to remain vigilant of that.

“So what exactly is your role, then?” Damian’s voice came behind you. You ignored the way your heart stopped from shock and turned around after taking a deep breath. You'd never get used to being snuck up on, even after having to deal with your brothers.

“Heiress. You?”

“You? Heir to what? The Batman title?” He was seated on your bed with his arms crossed.

“Oh no, no way, heiress to Wayne Industries of course,” you corrected him. “I have no intentions of doing whatever vigilante work dad or any of you usually do,” you crossed your arms and shook your head.

“You’re pulling my leg.”

“No, sir, I am not,” you nudged your head toward the desk behind you. “Plus I have more important things to worry about.”

“So you have no formal training at all?” Damian asks with heavy skepticism.

“I mean, I have basic combat skills that I learned from Dick and Jason, but that’s about it, just enough to handle my own, but not enough to do any vigilante work,” your eyes shifted to the side in thought. “Why?”

“I find it hard to believe that anyone would pass up an opportunity to become stronger.”

“I’m stronger in my own way, thank you very much,” you rolled your eyes and turned back around to your desk. “If you need anything else, just let me know. We’re siblings so I’ll always be happy to help you out,” you opened your laptop and started typing up one of your college essays. Damian didn’t respond, and when you looked back to check on him, he was gone. “They get stranger every time too…” you mumbled right as Dick sent a text to the sibling group chat.

‘THERE’S ANOTHER ONE?!’ You chuckled and shook your head.

‘Yeah.’ Tim’s response was blunt and your heart suddenly sank. Especially when just moments later his contact name appeared across your screen. You answered without hesitation.

“Hey, Timmy, what’s up?” You asked.

“Hey, sis, are you busy right now?”

“Just working on college applications, but I have plenty of time, where are you?”

“Let’s grab a coffee together, my treat! I just want someone to talk to right now.”

“Of course, Tim, I’ll be right over, our usual spot, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll save us a table. Drive safe, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out now, bye!”

“See you.” He hung up first and you grabbed your things before heading out of your room. Damian, meanwhile, kicked off from the wall next to your room.

“Where are you going?” He asks. You toss him a quick glance and a shrug.

“Out, why?”

“Out to patrol, right?” He presses. You shake your head.

“Nope, I already told you, I don’t do that stuff,” you walked down the stairs and he followed.

“Not even like Gordon?”

“Uh… Mr. Gordon or Babs?” You ask.

“Barbara.”

“No, I’m not too versed in tech, not on her level at least,” you grabbed your keys. “I’d invite you to join me, but I’m meeting up with Tim so maybe next time,” you tossed them in your hand now.

“For an intel report?”

“Why are you so set on me being a vigilante? I want nothing to do with that stuff, Damian,” you turned to him now. What was so hard for him to understand that you just weren’t a fighting person?

“It’s just…” Damian stops. You realized now how small he was, he couldn’t have been older than ten. “My… our father is the Batman. My mother is Talia al Ghul and yours is Selina Kyle.” Huh, he did his research. “I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re wasting your potential. Why would you choose to be ordinary when you could be extraordinary?” He asks. You hummed and crossed your arms, what a way to put your decision down and by a child no less. You didn’t know Damian well at all, you’d just met him today and here he was putting your life on blast.

“Well, I guess that’s something we’ll both find out together later, huh? I’ll see you later, Damian,” you cut the conversation off and walked down to the garage. This time, Damian didn’t follow you.

~

2022

“I’m sorry you had to come here while it’s in this state, Damian,” you grimaced. You start moving around the apartment to tidy it up at least a little, “as you can tell, we’re not usually home,” you start piling beer bottles in your arms and tossing them in the bin. “I’ll be back, their majesties call,” you said with an annoyed tone before disappearing into one of the rooms.

“It feels like I have a massive hangover,” Nixon whines as he collapses on the couch.

“I think all my ribs are broken,” Carter mutters next to him.

“It’s not a competition, boy scout,” Nixon groans. “Alex?” He looks over at him.

“Get in line,” Alex finishes up wrapping Eve’s hands with fresh bandages.

“The fact that you two can both self-heal is fucking bullshit,” Nixon cries.

“It’s actually reattachment, which is much more painful than regen,” Alex replies, “Damian, come over here, (Y/N) would kill me if she saw so much as a scratch,” he gestures to the chair and Damian sits down hesitantly. “I don’t think you remember me.”

“I don’t.”

“Blunt, much?” Nixon snickers.

“I was penpals with your sister,” he rolls the bandages over Damian’s arms. “Nothing more, we had a thousand miles between us and your sister had a reply period of two business weeks,” he rolls his eyes. “Oh, Evangeline, could you look around if we have something for the lad to eat? When was the last time he ate anything?”

“When he scarfed down my lunch two days ago,” Nixon answers.

“Has it been two days?” Alex taps his head. The time period he’s been here had gone by in a blur. He didn’t even realize it had been that long at all. Landing here on this Earth, nearly being eaten alive by god knows what, and waiting in the cold dirt floors of the regroup encampment, before finally landing here. He wondered how many people went into battle because there were only fourteen people who made it to the encampment.

“I’m not hungry,” Damian cuts in. Just thinking of the brief moment he’d seen the aftermath of the battle nearly turned his stomach inside out.

“It’s not that, Damian, look at your hands,” Alex starts opening drawers and cabinets. Damian looks down and feels his throat go dry. His hands seemed nearly transparent as if he could stick them through anything and they’d easily go through.

“Explain, now!”

“This Earth’s protective spell is rejecting you since you’re not from here, eating anything from here will bypass that spell and make it seem like you’re native,” Alex opened the fridge. One beer and one egg.

“How old are you again, Damian?” Alex asks.

“Sixteen.”

“That’s old enough,” he took the bottle and hit the cap on the counter. The cap bounced off with a quiet clink and he handed it to Damian.

“He’s a child!” Eve gasps.

“Would you like to eat a raw egg, Damian?” He asks. Damian shakes his head. “Bottoms up then,” he hands the beer bottle to him.

“Wow, you two really live like this,” Nixon groans.

“How do you still have the energy to be an asshole?” Carter asks him.

“My sister surrounded herself with idiots,” Damian says with a quarter-finished bottle of beer. Just in time for you to walk out in a cleaner uniform. You adjusted your gloves over your hand.

“Oh, you gave my baby brother a beer,” you observed. “You could’ve given him the egg, you know.”

“You broke both our pot and pan,” Alex reminds you.

“In self-defense,” you grabbed your keys off the counter. “How you holding up, kiddo, tired? Hungry?”

“Confused,” Damian watched the color return to his hands.

“Wow, you two really are siblings, huh?” Nixon asks.

“I know, you think they’re idiots, it’s fine, come on, I have to take you with me,” you nudged your head toward the door and waited for Damian to follow. “Someone already reported Damian to her majesty, she’s demanding an explanation and I have about half an hour to bullshit a good one.”

“Oh, man, she’s going to give you hell, (Y/N),” Nixon’s laugh turns into a groan of pain.

“Dumbass,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, Damian, I’ll explain everything on the way,” you gestured for him to stand up and he did so. “Eve, do me a solid, can you warp us to the castle?”

“Of course,” she places her hand on her heart and bows slightly before waving her hand in a circular motion. A portal opens up next to her and inside Damian could see the faint traces of a regal room on the other side. 

“You head in first, Dami,” you urged him in, and, carefully, he stepped through and landed in what looked like a waiting room. He turned around and saw a distorted version of your apartment within the vortex’s walls.

“What are you going to do about him, (Y/N)?” Alex asks.

“Get him home, obviously. But not now, the royal family is watching him because some idiot reported him as a survivor,” you shook your head. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Until then, he’d going to have to act.”

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about. I'm just trying to make sure he doesn't freak out,” you said before you finally stepped through and it swirled closed. “Okay so…” you looked Damian over, “I asked his highness for a favor, you can’t go in wearing your uniform,” you brushed the ashes off of his shoulder. Then, behind you, there is a knock at the door.

“Captain? May I come in?” Calvin’s voice was only loud enough for those in the room to hear.

“Door’s open.” The prince slid in with a bundle of clothes in his hands.

“Oh, goodness, when I heard you’d brought back a child with you I didn’t think the rumors were serious,” Calvin stares at Damian for a moment longer before turning to you. “These should fit him, I think, it’s the uniform we give to the wards when they’re still training.”

“I know what these are, I usually hand them out anyway,” you shrugged. “Damian, this is His Highness the Crown Prince, Calvin Reinhart. Your Highness, this is my younger brother, Damian Wayne.”

“I see, there is a subtle aura to you both that I now understand runs in the family,” he says vaguely. You handed the clothes to Damian.

“Get changed into those, kiddo, then we’ll talk,” you nodded.

“Comfort room is just across the hall,” Calvin points in its general direction with two fingers and Damian turns to you. You just nodded your head again and he left, just barely catching the conversation behind him. “I never took you as one to pick up a ward.”

“He’s in my care for the time being and he’s interested in Knighthood.” Your voices fell silent as soon as he closed the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror for a brief moment, spotting the scars and the healed-over gashes as well as the bandages, before slipping on the fresher pair of clothes. He folded his tattered uniform carefully, the encircled R staring back at him as he walked back.

“We should have him complete a field test then, you know what people would say if you just let him in.” Damian walked into the rest of the conversation and you held your hand out. He placed his uniform on it and you pushed it carefully into a backpack that you handed to him after.

“Oh, of course, I’ll do it by the books,” you reassured him. “What should I expect walking in?”

“My father wants a full report on what happened, you can just ignore whatever chide remarks my mother sends your way though,” he says.

“And you?”

“I don’t have a say in any of this,” he sighs. He looks at Damian. “Wow, a perfect fit.”

“He’s as ready for this as any of those other kids are,” you crossed your arms.

“Are you sure? That test is difficult, I barely got through it,” he says.

“Yours was a formality, your highness,” you reminded him.

“Right, right,” Calvin nods with a knowing smile. “I’ll see you in the throne room, then,” he bids goodbye and closes the door quietly behind him.

“Look at you, handsome devil,” you rubbed his hair gently and leaned against the table in the room. “Alright, Damian, ready for your first mission on this new Earth?”

“Absolutely,” he straightens up.

“Mission one on the new Earth: Be good, blend in. Look, the royal family can’t know that you dropped from another Earth, okay? As far as they know we’ve all been born and raised here, very few people know about where the Brigade members came from. So, let’s get our story straight,” you leaned down and spoke in a quiet voice. Your eyes moved side to side to ensure that no one was listening. “Like usual, you are my younger brother. Our parents are living in the mountain regions and sent both of us down when we were teenagers to find livelihoods. I’m all done, but you’re just starting, I brought you in to live with me because you were interested in joining the Knight’s Order, and from today on you will be my apprentice,” you spoke in a steady voice and he nodded.

“Anything else I should know?”

“Don’t look into the eyes of the queen directly, she’ll know that you’re lying,” you told him. “Each member of the royal family has a special ability that has kept them in power. The King can crush your bones at the snap of his fingers, the Queen can know if you’re telling the truth with a simple glance at your eyes, and the Prince can throw anything and it’d reach it’s target. The presence of these innate abilities and the power to grant them is proof of royal blood,” you explained. “But, you don’t need to worry about all of that, hell, you don’t even have to worry about the practical exam coming up to enter as a Knight’s apprentice, at your skill level I’d promote you to the highest already,” you laughed shortly. “But, let me do all the talking in there, just observe, and if you notice something’s off, find a subtle way to tell me,” you stood up and he followed you out. You knew the layout of the castle already, having been here almost as many times as your own home, and finally you stood beyond two grandiose doors that stretched higher than Damian thought normal.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head and you opened the doors, together, you both walked into the grand throne room. Before you sat three of the most powerful people in that world and, to say the least, Damian felt the pressure in the atmosphere. It was similar to those few times when he knew his enemies out-skilled him. He found himself subconsciously moving toward you and, as if you understood, your hand pulled him closer.

“Captain,” the King spoke.

“Your Majesty,” you stopped a good distance away from the thrones, bowed your head, and put your hand to your heart. Damian followed suit.

“What is that behind you,” the Queen spat. Damian didn’t miss the annoyed look in your eyes as you looked up at the other woman.

“My younger brother, and soon to be my apprentice,” you explained.

“I see,” she relaxes into her seat. “Quite the predicament you’ve found yourself in. If he will affect your duties, dispose of him.” Damian’s fists clenched behind his back, but he said nothing.

“That won’t be a problem. You’ll soon see that he is a very capable young man.”

“Tch,” the Queen turned her nose. Damian suddenly realizes why Jason would be so pissed when he did that to him. “So he’s virtually untouchable.”

“Yes.”

“Give me news on that village,” the King cut into the conversation.

“It’s unsalvageable, Your Majesty,” You replied curtly. He shifted slightly.

“How many survivors?”

“Five…”

“Hundred?” He cut you off.

“No, your majesty. Five,” you touched your heart again. “Correction, three, not including us from the Knight’s Order.”

“My god,” the Queen shook her head. “How could your team, your special operations unit, have failed?!”

“I believe I’ve told you before, Your Majesty, there have been frequent sightings of a new and much stronger daemon in our midst. Usually, we have been able to handle these mutations, but, for reasons unknown, an entire herd of a new variant descended upon the village,” you stood your ground and continued to explain the situation, all of which Damian already knew as Eve filled him in.

“Usually?” The King’s stance straightened and the Queen’s expression grew grave.

“Father, if you’d recall, I gave you a brief report on the Brigade’s findings a few days ago,” Calvin spoke up. The King held his hand up and Calvin stopped. “Captain, you look like you’re about to say something,” he gestures toward you.

“Yes, Your Majesty, I can assure you that the Brigade has everything under control.”

“New variant?” She asks. “How long have you been dealing with these beasts before informing us?!”

“Near a year now, Your Majesty, but with much smaller variants.”

“A year?! When were you planning on reporting this?!” She shouts.

“The Brigade has had this issue under control up until now. The mutations were advancing at a slow rate until now, and thus we kept a watchful eye on them. As I said, the variant that destroyed that village is a new one. We have never seen one that advanced that far,” your voice remained firm.

It was a presence that Damian wasn’t used to. The longer he stayed here, the more he realizes how much you’ve changed. Especially now, you look just like their father. Damian’s eyes wandered to the Prince, who was silent this entire time. He was almost entirely different than when he saw him earlier, whatever warmth he thought he saw in him was replaced with a bitter coldness that matched his parents, it was almost impressive. Calvin was watching you with a strange mix of curiosity, confusion, and concern. His head rested on the palm of his hand as he tried to feign superiority, but he held a similar annoyed expression that you had, with his eyes constantly shifting to the Queen, who seemed ready to boil over with rage.

“I see,” the King tapped his foot, the sound bouncing off of the room’s walls. “Then continue doing what you’ve been doing.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Await further orders then, Captain. You are dismissed.” You bowed your head again, turned on your heel, and left, Damian following close behind with every hair at the back of his neck standing up from the stares alone.

~

“What do you mean, you can’t find him?” Dick shouts. Tim rubs his head angrily and gestures toward the screen.

“Do you see him on the radar? No? Well, neither can I!” He argues. Jason rolls his eyes.

“Stop arguing,” Bruce sighs.

“Why am I even here?” Jason grumbles. He takes his helmet. “I’m out, this is stupid. We’re wasting time using this tech, I’ll find him myself and drag him back, yeah? Maybe the kid found (Y/N) already too,” he says.

“Jason has a point, we’re getting nowhere configuring this system,” Bruce concedes.

“Jason, Bruce, wait, come on, we should make sure he’s alright, the fact that he’s not pinging here is a huge problem,” Dick reasons. Tim turns back to the bat computer and a notification pings. “Hold on, there’s some noise about a strange light in the third district, it might be something to look into.”

“Pull it up, then,” Bruce says.

“Yeah,” Tim answers. He pulls up the grainy CCTV footage, speeding through the footage to find something of interest, and once he saw the bright light he scrubbed back a few minutes, and the figure centered in it was unmistakable. They watched as Damian ran around the area, asking random people who happened to be passing by, and whatnot, then a stranger walked up to him and inaudibly told him something. Whatever he said, Damian listened carefully, before the stranger pulled out what looked similar to a pocket watch. Damian watched the pendulum move from side to side before falling to the ground. The stranger lifted him and disappeared into the alley, a bright light emitting from it, and the footage ended there.

“Shit… I should’ve known it was one of the three,” Steph frowns.

“Three?” Tim turns to her.

“You know… aliens, robots, or wizards? This has to be wizard, it’s written all over it,” she says.

“Damian was not kidnapped by wizards,” Tim drags a tired hand down his face.

“Holy shit, Damian was kidnapped by wizards?!” Jason looks up from his phone and then it was Bruce’s turn to sigh, but before the argument could continue, then a notification pings on the batcomputer and Tim was quick to navigate to it.

“Whoa… what’s that?” Jason looks at the picture on the screen.

“I think (Y/N) left it behind, I found it on her seat after I woke up,” Tim skims through the report. “Damn… no matches.”

“Looks like it belongs to a wizard,” Steph whispers, and Cass snickers.

“Wait, try cross-referencing it with the CCTV from earlier,” Dick cuts in.

“You sure?” Tim asks.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he was holding a watch.”

“It could just be a pocket watch, you know?” Jason argues.

“Who the hell carries pocket watches in the 21st century?” Steph chides.

“It’s a match!” Tim nearly jumps from his seat.

“Shit, never mind then,” Jason shrugs and Tim pulls the pocketwatch from its spot on the console. He opens it quickly.

“Take a look inside of it, I noticed that the watch face looked too peculiar,” Tim tapped it and so far, no dice. There was no reaction or movement whatsoever. Inside the watch face was a series of concentric circles that were intersected by a number of hands that extended the length of each circle’s radii.

“Yeah… uh… maybe it also reads milliseconds,” Jason hums.

“I doubt that,” Tim grimaces.

“You guys really think it’s magic?” Dick asks.

“I’m thinking more of that it could be some complicated tech that neither of us understands yet,”

And so, operation Save Damian is a go.

~

2015

“So… how’s the new kid doing?” Steph asks. You, her, Cass, and Babs sat at a cafe table, you just wanting to eat your sandwich while the three of them were extra intent on hearing the drama from you firsthand.

“Damian’s doing good, stellar, actually, like… he’s probably one of the best Robins from the get-go,” you shrugged.

“Best Robin? That’s a loaded statement,” Steph chuckled.

“I did say from the get-go. But, to be fair, Damian’s raising situation was a little different than the others.”

“Right, the al Ghuls,” Steph says with an exaggerated tone. 

“If you want to ask about Robin stuff you should ask the guys though, I’m not involved in that stuff,” you shook your head. “Like… Jesus, the kid’s only ten! I know it’s not my place to judge but… I kinda want to give him at least a bit of a childhood but he’s so…” you trailed, trying to find the right words to say.

“Bratty?” Steph asks.

“Rude?” Babs tries.

“Conceited?” Cass says before drinking her iced coffee.

“Those are a bit harsh,” you shook your head. You sighed and played with your straw for a bit. “Lonely. He seems very lonely,” you drank some of your drink, trying to ignore the hinted tension at the table now. “I don’t know… I mean, I get it, I do. He grew up to be an assassin, and he didn’t have time or the privilege to make friends, I don’t have the full story so I can’t assume, I just want him to feel comfortable,” you rest your chin on your palm.

“Takes one to know one, huh?” Cass asks.

“Yeah,” you answered absently. Then, in the blink of an eye, you smiled and shook your head. “Not that I was lonely, you know? Obviously, I had all of you, my brothers, my mom, and Alfred so I had plenty of people, and you’re all so wonderful so… I just want Damian to see that too. I get why he doesn’t want to be close with me since I’m just ordinary, but I hope at least Dick gets through to him,” you said.

“Well, Dick has a way with people so I’m sure they’ll bond somehow,” Babs nods.

“Ordinary… you’ve never used that word before,” Cass taps a finger on the table and you shook your head.

“It’s no big deal, it’s just the truth,” you shrugged. “When I first met Damian he said something interesting to me, actually,” you adjusted yourself so you were more comfortable on the metal chairs, “he brought up how our dad is Bruce Wayne, then he brought up how my mom is Selina Kyle, and he asked me why I settled to be ordinary when I could’ve been extraordinary.”

“Yeah, sis, he’s just a brat,” Steph deadpans.

“Hey now,” you shot a pointed look at her and she shrugs. “Anyway, I got to thinking about it over with Tim—”

“Aw, hell, Tim! Shit, how’d he take the news?” Steph asks. You shook your head.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but not well. Wait for him to talk to you about it though,” you told her. “But back on topic… I discussed it with Tim and he told me that of all of us, I was the most important member,” you rolled your eyes. “I didn’t buy it at first but…” you took a deep breath. “Every super family needs a civilian, right?” You finally said. Cass reached over and held your hand in hers, squeezing it with some amount of reassurance.

“You are so much more than just an ordinary civilian, (Y/N),” Steph says. “You’re our sister, through and through. Not just anyone can shut Jason up the way you do,” she adds with a short laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure Damian is hurting right now, he needs time to open up,” Cass says.

“He’s an interesting boy, he’s so mission-driven that it surprises me,” Babs sighs. 

“Dad thinks that me taking him out is a waste,” you sighed.

“Bruce said that?” Babs masks her surprise.

“He said it in a very Bruce Wayne way, you know? I told him I’d be taking Damian with me somewhere and he would hit me with the “Again?” and ugh it just makes me angry,” you grumbled.

“Well, he was never able to control you either, so there’s probably not much he could do to stop you,” Steph says.

“Like he’d try,” you leaned back against the chair and stole a glance at your watch. “I should head back to the manor, I still have assignments,” you sighed.

“Oh, need a ride? Let’s share an Uber,” Babs says.

“Sure, yeah, how about you two?”

“I have to go on patrol,” Steph says.

“Ditto,” Cass readjusts her scarf and you nod.

“Good luck, then, stay safe,” you gave the both of them hugs before following Barbra.

“You know, (Y/N),” Barbara spoke up when you were a good distance away, “I think what you’re doing for Damian is good,” she says.

“What am I doing?”

“Giving him a chance,” she says. “You’re right, he’s still a child, even though he acts so mature, sometimes I hear a sliver of the child he is and it reminds me that normally he wouldn’t be handling these kinds of missions,” she says.

“Yeah, I always worry about him,” you shake your head.

“(Y/N), about what Tim said, he’s right, you know. You keep us in touch with our human side, I know sometimes you feel left out when you walk into our meetings, but you are an instrumental member of our family,” she continues. “Remember that, (Y/N).”

“I know, I know,” you nodded. You’d known ever since you renounced the vigilante business. The looks you got from everyone were just different, and the looks you got from people after were just as bad.

~

“Thirsty? You should drink something,” you pulled out two discs from your pocket while you and Damian walked along the castle halls. Holding the discs close together, you firmly grasped onto the handles and twisted them to open and, as you separated the discs, water gathered between them.

“Whoa…” he observes it and you hand it to him. “How do I drink this?”

“You can hold it with one hand,” you chuckled and reached over, pulling out a small sphere of water and popping it into your mouth. “We have actual water bottles, but it’s just easier to carry that around,” you said.

“Is this magic?” He copies you and pulls a small sphere of water from the middle before drinking it.

“Yup, Alex brought it from somewhere,” you answered while Damian handed the device back to you. You resealed it and put it away. “Now, today’s the entrance practical for new knights, I gotta admit that we lucked out there. Like I said earlier, I’m pretty sure you’ll pass with flying colors,” you turned him down a hallway.

“What should I expect?”

“It’s divided into two exams. The first is an obstacle course, you have to get through it within ten minutes. The second is a mock hunt, you’ll have to fight and capture a beginner-level beast,” you say. “Easy, for you, trust.” You both walked out into the training grounds, Damian shielded his eyes from the harsh sunlight while he looked around seeing knights of various backgrounds roam around. “See that building over there? The one with the green banner on it? That’s for you and the other examinees, go ahead and make yourself comfortable there for now while I meet with the others to prep the course, and, oh! One more thing Dami!”

“Yeah?”

“Be nice to the other kids, okay? Not everyone's as cool as you.” You urged him forward and you waited for him to reach the practice house before taking off yourself.

Damian opened the door cautiously, seeing boys and girls similar to his age all talking amongst themselves and preparing for the exam. 

“So the rumors are true, they let in a homeschooler?” One of the boys snarked. Damian turns to him, unamused. “Guess what, mountain boy, this exam isn’t for bumpkins like you,” he sneers.

“Oh, leave him alone, Hugo!” One of the girls grimaces. “Here, new kid, come sit with us,” she waves Damian over to a table with a few others and, remembering your words, obliges. “I’m Retta,” she introduces herself.

“Damian,” he sits next to her.

“I’m Niers!” The platinum blond boy next to him is next.

“My name’s Luciana,” the tanned girl goes next.

“And I’m Lowen,” the last boy introduces himself.

“So, is it true? You didn’t go to any of the academies?” Niers asks. Damian nods.

“Yeah, I trained… in the mountains,” he holds back a groan. Maybe you didn’t change at all, your lies were still obvious.

“That’s so crazy, I always forget there’s a whole village up there,” Niers hums. “Shoot, so you don’t know what to expect, huh?”

“I have an idea,” Damian eyes the tarts that Retta stacks on his plate.

“Eat them, they’re good for you. They have some mild stamina enhancers in them,” she smiles.

“I mean, we’ve kinda always known what the exam has,” Luciana mutters. “Lowen and I have siblings in the Knighthood already,” she says.

“Really?” Well, that’s a coincidence.

“Yeah, my older brother’s Aldryn,” Lowen says it with a slight hint of disdain. “Luci's are the twins in lab coats.”

“My older siblings! Marion'll be at the test today too, I’m so nervous,” she chews on the inside of her lip and Retta places a cookie on her plate.

“For the nerves,” she says. “No worries though, depending on how you fail you get a retest,” Retta explains.

“Is it really that difficult?” Damian asks.

“Oh, you don’t even know,” Niers shudders. “But… all of this for one reason!” He says. The four teens put their hands in the center and a blazing determination appears in their gazes. They glance at Damian, waiting for him to join in and, with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he does so.

“To meet the Captain Wayne in the flesh!” Luciana says. Damian is taken aback for a moment.

“To meet the Captain Wayne!” The other three announce. What are the odds he gets sucked into his sister’s fan club?

‘Good grief…’ he could feel his battery draining already.

“Examinees, to the exam field,” Nixon walks in holding a clipboard. He eyes Damian but makes no other attempts at acknowledgment before leaving.

“That’s our cue! Follow us, Damian, we help each other out in this group!” Retta smiles.

“And who said I was in this group?”

“We all did now go!” Niers pushes everyone forward.

Damian listened in on all the conversations on their way to the site, trying to get a general idea of what awaited him. He’d heard many different things, but if one detail was certain, it was that the beast at the end was what they called a ‘Hamig’ whatever that was. You had mentioned to him that it was a beginner-level beast, but he still remained on his guard.

But when he saw the test site, he had to hold back a laugh. And when he spotted you walking toward the group, the eye contact alone almost made you both laugh.

You were right. This was child’s play.

“Students of the 28th class, today is your practical exam to join the Knighthood. My name is Captain (Y/N) Wayne and I oversee all the affairs of the Knighthood and the Brigade. Today myself, Nixon Jones, and Carter Adara will be observing your exams and grading you. You will know if you passed or failed as soon as you complete the exam and you are allowed one retest and one only. If you fail both of those, you will be held back to the next class practical which will happen exactly a year from now. We will be conducting the first exam now, then we’ll have a break, and finally the second part. Don’t let your guard down, and impress us. Your rankings will be given to you today as well,” you instructed. “So, who’s first?” You looked among the crowd. Damian crossed his arms, the first rule of undercover was easy, don’t stand out. He would have to observe the general skill level of everyone first just in case. “Ah, a volunteer already! Let’s see if I’m remembering correctly, Hugo Gardner?” You asked. Damian’s gaze moved over to the boy who pushed his way forward.

“That’s me, I’m glad you remember,” his bravado’s unmatched.

“Right, hard to forget you,” you smiled.

“This is Hugo’s fourth time retaking the practical,” Lowen says quietly, and Damian fights back a snort. This was the kid who tried to demean him? He couldn’t wait to see him fail the course.

And fail he did. Landing face first into the mud below because he didn’t gauge how far the next platform was.

“Gardner, back to the group, you’ll be retesting after everyone completes their exam,” Carter says.

“Whatever,” Hugo spats. “See that, mountain boy?! If I could barely get through it you could kiss this title goodbye!” He laughs. Damian glares at him and you shook your head. Not yet, it was a reminder.

Then, students came and went, students passed, and students failed, and, finally, that left Damian. He had looked over everyone’s abilities enough that he could replicate it to avoid attention, he didn’t want to make this more difficult for you, at least. He had heard a range of different times already, he’d heard eight minutes, nine minutes, eleven minutes, and more and less. The best time right now was five minutes and forty-two seconds. He could complete this in two, but he knew he shouldn’t, don’t draw attention.

“You can still drop out, mountain hobo!” Hugo’s insults were obviously forced.

Aw, whatever, Damian couldn’t resist a chance to show off against people like that. So, he stood at the starting line, and once you had blown the whistle, he took off.

The first course was simple, climbing. One jump and a strategically planned landing point had him at the top in seconds. Then, where Gardner failed, the jump to the next platform. Easy, Damian didn’t have to think of it. The next section was a series of spinning columns with various protrusions, and this one took out a lot of the cohort already, but, again, easy. The trick was to see the pattern before running in, and he’d seen it so many times already. The final part stretched over a small body of water with various buoys set up. There were many strategies for this one, such that he’d seen, either use momentum at each buoy or use them as floaters. Damian decided to do neither of those and used them as platforms instead, moving with ease among each and landing at the finish line.

“Two minutes,” Nixon clicks the stopwatch, and surprised gasps and cheers followed.

“That was crazy, Damian! Why didn’t you tell us you were that good?” Niers compliments him. “Shoot, now I feel kinda embarrassed, you’re a pro!”

“We worried for no reason,” Luci's shoulders relaxed.

“Hey, check out Hugo,” Lowen grins. Hugo had begun his retest, standing at the top of the climbing tower and staring at the platform. Be good, Damian thought of those words again. After years of living with his father, of being good, maybe this new Earth was a chance to try anew.

“Hey, Gardner!” Damian shouts. Hugo glares at him. “Focus on the platform before you jump, trust your instincts! If you’d been training for this, then you can handle it,” Damian instructs. Hugo takes a deep breath and, assumably, follows Damian’s instructions and successfully lands on the platform.

“Shouldn’t we call that out,” Nixon nudges you.

“No, I don’t think I can handle watching Hugo come in another year, he’s been working hard for this. Teamwork and trust are also tenets we emphasize,” you say. You watched Hugo continue through the course with difficulty and, once he’d reached the finish, Nixon checked the stopwatch.

“Eight minutes and seven seconds,” he calls, “congrats, Hugo, you advance to the final test,” he says. Hugo stands for a moment, catching his breath, when tears finally slipped down and his friends rushed over to him, all congratulating him on his achievement.

“You did good, kid,” you nudged Damian with your clipboard and he shrugs it off.

“Whatever…” he says. You slipped a lunch bag in his hand.

“So, let’s take a break, then we’ll complete today’s exam. Everyone who didn’t pass, don’t take it to heart, use this as a learning experience to prepare for the next exam. And those who did pass, don’t let it get to your head, the second exam is much harder,” you announced, walking past Damian as if nothing had happened.

“Damian! Come over here!” Retta calls him over again and he follows while he opened the paper bag and spotted the salad and fruits inside, and beneath it a wrapped veggie burger. Then, as he sat down, Damian felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and, if memory served him right, then your note should be sandwiched under the fruits and bingo. He reads the note in the bag, keeping his privacy about himself as he does so.

‘Why did P stick with J? Because P is butter with J! - Big Sis’ There is no Earth where that would have been funny. But, call it instinct, he flipped the note over and lo and behold, the actual message.

‘Hey Dami, the lunch they’re serving is boar roast and, obviously, you can’t eat that, so I had my assistant run and grab you these. They might taste a little different than what you’re used to, though, just keep an open mind.’ 

Keep an open mind? Damian pulled the salad out, eyeing the purple lettuce and pink spinach.

Oh.

~

As soon as the elevator doors opened, you walked straight forward, stopping in front of the cage with the beast inside, still standing, and still looming, but still silent. You looked at it carefully, going over all the details with a new understanding.

“Hello, old friend,” you crossed your arms and the beast seemed to bow its head. Unable to speak, it raises it now, exposing the dog tags melted into its fur. You looked at the protective circles around it, stepping through them carefully to approach the cage and, just barely, you could just barely make out the name on it.

‘CK - 78’ was engraved on it. Whoever this was, they weren’t part of the Knighthood.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are,” you backed away from the cage and the beast whimpered, lowering to the ground and lying there peacefully.

“Captain,” you look over your shoulder and watch the two twin scientists enter.

“That’s the most relaxed it’s been,” Inigo speaks up.

“All day, every day, that thing snarls at me and snaps at whoever nears it. It likes you, Cap, I don’t know why though,” Marion shakes her head.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Mary,” you lied. Again, you looked at the beast, who watched you with one eye.

“Pitiful creature, if we weren’t studying it then I would’ve put it out of his misery,” Inigo shoves his hands into his lab coat pockets. “So, what can we help you with, Cap?”

“Just looking, there’s something that’s been bothering me since the last attack,” you crossed your arms. “The report said that this beast displayed an unparalleled strength, and after dealing with similar variants I can confirm that,” you looked over the beast again.

“We’ve been trying to heal the wounds too,” Marion says, “it won’t let us get close.”

“The beast is guarded, most wild beasts are,” you nodded. “Well, keep up the good work, it’s about time I proctored the second exam,” you looked at your watch.

“Damn, that time of the year already? Cut 'em some slack, Cap.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved your hand and left the room, hearing the beast stand up behind you with sounds of metal hitting the cage to prove it.

Not Your Classic Vigilante: @gabytodd @peachydokii @marshmallow12435 @f0leysgurl @luminaaz @lolsnack @akuri-shinsou @pansinspace @time-shardz @lovely-maryj @urminebutidontwantyou @y3oudsc 

[kittendreamsofmurder]

I've had a lot of thoughts come up since the last episode of Severance, and I need to get them out of me I guess?

(TW: reference to ED behavior and self-harm below the cut)

I've seen a lot of folks talking about the details of Helena's life being revealed in S2E9, especially the ED behavior. Like a lot of people, that hit home for me, too. (I think for most of us socialized/raised as women, our relationship to food/body is complicated) It also made me think about some of Helly's past actions and how it puts them in context. I remember watching Helly's blatant disregard for her own physical safety, her threats of self-harm (the fingers in the paper cutter), and then her outright su*cide attempt and thinking, "wow, isn't that a bit hasty? aren't there other options?"

When I think back to my own self-harm behaviors and ED behaviors, they developed at a time when I felt I had the least agency and control in my own life. I felt like my voice didn't matter, my opinions didn't matter, my boundaries didn't matter. As strange as it sounds, inflicting harm on my own body was something I had agency over. And sure, there were the elements of being in control and maintaining a certain body image, but it was deeper than that.

What started as anorexia, after several years, morphed into bulimia, which I think is sort of the epitome of being at war with yourself. For years you shove your needs and desires down, you deny that you want even the most basic necessity - food. You pride yourself on being able to not need what everyone else does. Your not-needing is an armor against all the other pain you feel. But then, one day, you can't bury it anymore. The hunger is so big- it's like a black hole. You eat and eat and eat until the shame is so great you have to punish yourself for it. And then it becomes a cycle. The overflowing of your own need and longing, and the disgust at yourself for neeing at all.

I (and I'm sure others do too) see Helly as that part of Helena that she's so deeply ashamed of, the defiant part of her that wants. The wanting that cannot be contained or buried.

Anyway, back to the top. I think about Helly's self-harm and I think about somebody who has nothing else to bargain with. I think about the rabbit that would chew off its own leg to escape the trap.

One more personal story. When I was young, I was a classically trained musician. I loved music but I hated to perform. I would have avoided it entirely if it wasn't the expectation of my family. In late high school, I was overwhelmed by stress and I told my mother I didn't want to perform anymore. She made it clear that I needed to continue until I was accepted into college, because it was important to look good enough on applications. I was furious to realize I didn't get to make my own choice. Before the next orchestra concert, I slammed my finger in a drawer so that it swelled up too much for me to play.

When we cannot say "no", when don't have agency, we find other ways.

[seenoversundown]

‧⁺˚･༓☼ Masterlist☽༓･˚⁺‧

Here's my collection of works! I'll have everything noted on whether it's a one shot or a WIP. I hope you enjoy!! 🖤

Fluff - ⁂

Smut - ☠ (18+ - not encouraged for minors)

Trigger Warnings will be listed at the beginning of fics/chapters if applicable. (Please reach out if you feel anything was missed and I will make sure to add it in quickly!)

The Fine Print : *I do not own any of Greta Van Fleet's property. They are simply muses for my writing! Intended for fictional purposes only. Nothing is meant to be taken seriously and everything will be listed with TW's and summaries*

Redamancy ⁂ - Sam x Reader have been friends for so long but have never admitted their feelings towards one another. Lots of pining. (One Shot)

Playmaker ☠ - Sam x Reader (Hockey AU) After winning a playoff game, Sam decides to take you out for drinks and that leads to a fun night. (One Shot)

Succulent ☠️ - Sam x Willa (Fem OC) take a little trip to Vermont for Valentine’s Day where Sam cooks up a nice dinner with a great idea for dessert. (One Shot)

Anthophile ⁂ - Sam x Dahlia (Fem OC) Sam surprises her with a special activity for Valentine's Day that she's been daydreaming about. (One Shot)

Sparrow Of The Dawn ⁂ ☠ - Sam x Willa (Fem OC) - WIP (Updated 2/9/2025) Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor. |Enemies to Lovers | Forced Proximity | Workplace Romance | Multi Chapter Series|

Cloak and Dagger ☠ - Josh x reader attend a halloween party but have to leave early because they can't wait any longer to devour each other. (One Shot)

Satiate ☠ - Josh x Quinn (Non Binary OC) - Quinn is sweet enough to make breakfast in bed, but also has a devious little plan for their favorite person. (One Shot)

Somewhere ⁂ - Josh x Harper (Gender Neutral OC) - Harper is dreading Valentine's Day because Josh won't be around.. or so they think.

Amongst The Stars ⁂ ☠ - Josh x Quinn (Non Binary OC) Josh has always loved love, and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance. (Multi Chapter Series -Temporary Hiatus)

Your Bones ⁂ - Daniel x Reader spend a cozy rainy afternoon together. (One Shot)

Saccharine ⁂ ☠ - Daniel x Melody (Fem OC) spend a sweet Valentine's Day making cinnamon rolls together and then have a cozy evening away. (One Shot)

Lonely Hearts Club ⁂ - One Shot

Come Back For Me ⁂ ☠ - Daniel x Melody (Fem OC) They were best friends and did everything together, until the decision of college came around. Now, six years later, Melody rolls back into town, with a small surprise, giving Daniel the shock of a lifetime. (Multi Chapter Series - WIP)

Slapshot ☠ - Jake x Reader (Hockey AU) After watching how well he played, you can't keep your hands to yourself on the way home. But he has just the way to help take care of that. (One Shot)

Oh Darling ☠ - Jake x Reader (Vampire AU) Jake has never been known for anything more than a one night stand but can you change his mind? (One Shot) Siren ⁂ ☠️ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) get stuck at the bar on Valentine’s Day, but Jake makes sure to make it up to her after the bar closes. (One Shot)

Allure : Part 1 ⁂ | Part 2 ☠️ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) Family Lake Day! Starts off with Charlotte longingly watching her sweet motherly boyfriend take care of everyone all day but ends with him making it up to her in the sweetest way.

Insidious ⁂ ☠️ : Jake x Rory (Fem OC) A story about Rory, a girl who is smart and takes no shit, getting roped in by a boy with a whole lot of secrets. (Multi Chapter Series - WIP)

For Death Or Glory ⁂ ☠️ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) The story of how they came to be | Jake has always been a hopeless romantic, heavy on the hopeless. He's gone out with plenty of girls, but they never last. Tired of being told he's "too sweet", he tapped out on dating once he bought the bar. Just waiting for the right one to walk into the bar and steal his heart | Workplace Romance | Friends With Benefits to Lovers | He Falls First (Multi Chapter Series - Completed)

You're My Wishlist ⁂ ☠️ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) Christmas has come and Charlotte has a special present for Jake waiting at home. (One Shot)

Good For Me - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) Valentine's Day is planned out perfectly until Jake has to go into the bar for a minute and everything changes.

Insidious - Jake x Rory (Fem OC) ((ft. all of greta van fleet)) A story about Rory, a girl who is smart and takes no shit, getting roped in by a boy with a whole lot of secrets. Black Cat x Grumpy | Enemies to Lovers I Dark Romance | Dark AU (Multi Chapter Series - In progress)

A 4 Book interconnected series about the boys living in a small town in New England. Where they find love in the most unexpected ways. The bar was Jake’s dream, but somehow is helping everybody else’s dreams come true as well. Rom-Com • Enemies To Lovers • Love At First Sight • Rekindled High School Sweethearts • Workplace Romance • AU - Boys x OCs

Masterpost

Currently posting;

Sparrow of the Dawn - Temporary Hiatus

Amongst The Stars - Temporary Hiatus

Come Back For Me - New chapters on Wednesdays!

For Death or Glory - Completed

(The Caravel Tavern Series AU)

Sam - Dueling Cameras ⁂ - Sam x Willa (Fem OC) decide to make getting pumpkins into a little competition (per usual) (One Shot)

Josh - Chiaroscuro ⁂ - Josh x Quinn (Enby OC) attend a local film festival where Josh gets to present a short film he's directed. (One Shot)

Danny - Spooks & Cider ⁂ - Daniel x Melody (Fem OC) Back in high school, go to a Fall Festival where Melody faces her fear of the Haunted House. (One Shot)

Jake - Affirmation ⁂ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) find themselves in an oddities shop where Charlotte has her tarot cards read, whether she believes in it or not. (One Shot)

(The Caravel Tavern Series AU)

Sam - Be Naughty, Save Santa The Trip ☠ - Sam x Willa (Fem OC) Sam runs late after a shoot and Willa leaves him a little surprise for when he gets back home to her. (One Shot)

Josh - Merry Everything & A Happy Always ⁂ - Josh x Quinn (Enby OC) have always had the tradition of baking cookies together, but Josh sets up a scavenger hunt for Quinn to bake some this time for a very special reason. (One Shot)

Danny - It's The Most Wonderful Time of Year ⁂ - Daniel x Melody (Fem OC) took on hosting Christmas dinner with everybody but unfortunately for Daniel, nothing is going smoothly. (One Shot)

Jake - White Christmas ☠ - Jake x Charlotte (Fem OC) have a million and one things to do on Christmas Day and Charlotte is already stressed by 6 am. Thankfully, Jake knows exactly how to calm her down. (One Shot)

Want to join my taglist? Fill out THIS form and I'll add you to the list!

Wattpad | AO3

Fic Recs - updated 03/26/2025

[seajellyfishie]

sandals, ch.1⋆｡°•☁️ twisted wonderland x m!oc

synopsis: it's been a long time since Aiden had felt any sort of freedom. Now that he has it, he is utterly lost.

a/n: it's been a while since I've written fanfics. I'm not the most confident in my abilities as a writer, but hopefully there will be noticeable improvement as I continue with this story, and also take in requests that you all send in (if you'd like to ofc). I'm trying to push my boundaries as a writer with this one, so please give me constructive feedback! tw: abusive parenting (if i wrote it correctly), homophobia (also if a wrote it correctly), controlled eating, cursing, if I forgot any let me know!

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The black curtains are pulled back from the window frame letting the sunlight into the room. The window, slightly open, let the summer air through. A 17-year-old boy sits at his computer messing around with the Lightroom program with a recent picture from a photoshoot of him and his friends. Soft lofi plays through his speakers the glass of water rattling slightly on a coaster. A notebook and pens with Biology notes sprawled out on the other part of his white L-shaped desk that is in front of the window.

Raising the brightness slightly on the photo, the college student furrows his eyebrows in annoyance. Letting out a hefty sigh, he leans back in his chair running a hand through his hair. He reaches over to a bowl of grapes, grabbing one and popping it in his mouth. The silk sage green shirt flowing over his chest and frame as he shifts in his chair grabbing a pen and sticky note to write a reminder to finish his editing later. Closing the application, he pushes his keyboard away and pulls his notes back in front of him.

The jiggling of his doorknob catches his attention as the door swung open revealing his mother. Aiden felt his heart quicken as he closes his large textbook, leaving a pencil in it to mark his place. He stands and pushes his chair under his desk before he turns to face his mother.

Soren Malak nee Robinson stands at the door scanning the room, she notices a few things out of place but it seems they were just recently used, so she’ll leave him be for the time being. Fully turning her attention to Aiden she scrutinizes his outfit. She approves of the black dress shoes he was wearing, although they could use a cleaning. He should be keeping up with the care of them, she didn’t buy those just for them to get ruined. With a furrow of the brow she moves her eyes up to his pants and shirt. Her nose wrinkles up in disapproval. The black slacks he was wearing were cinching his waist and tight on his legs. The sage green looked awful against his skin and what was he doing wearing silk? She knew she didn’t buy that for him.

“Don’t you think that shirt makes you look too feminine? And those pants, what are you trying to do? Sell your body for free?” She watches as her son’s face remains stoic but his eyes falling to the floor. Letting out a sigh, she walks towards him, catching his attention once again, “I’m only doing this for your own good darling, you need to dress well if you’re going to be a doctor.” She starts adjusting the buttons on his shirt, if he was going to wear it he shouldn't have so many buttons undone like a common whore.

"Of course, mother, thank you."

Aiden nods as he tries not to jerk away from his mother’s icy hands as she did the buttons all the way to the top seemingly not caring if it was too tight. Her stare felt like a ton weighing down on his chest, suffocating him. He watches with bated breath as her eyes glance up and narrow slightly, before releasing him and walking back to the door.

“Get dressed, your fencing lessons are going to be soon, and don’t wear anything...revealing, you're not impressing any girls.” With that she closes the door. Aiden listens as her footsteps fade and finally lets himself breath. Grasping at his hands to calm the shaking, and clenching his jaw as to not start grinding his teeth, he took a deep breaths in and out. He clutches the shirt fabric in his hands remembering when his father gave it to him.

——————————————————————————————————

It was a sunny day and Hamadi Malak decided that he should take his son out on a little shopping trip to the mall. He noticed that Soren had been much harsher on Aiden recently and decided that his son needed a day out of the house. Knocking on Aiden’s door he waited for his son’s quiet ‘come in’ before entering the room. His son’s green eyes, that bittersweetly reminded him of his late mother, lit up when he walked into the room.

“Oh, hi dad, is there something wrong? Or something you need?” Hamadi gently closed the door after him to make sure his wife didn’t walk in and interrupted their conversation. He smiled at his son, cupping his cheek gently and giving him a kiss on the forehead. A blush took over his teenage son’s cheeks as he glared up at his father in embarrassment. Hamadi ruffled Aiden’s hair with a chuckle before holding up his car keys.

“Wanna go to the mall? You deserve a treat after all of your hard work you put in for finishing your standardized tests.” Aiden stared at his father trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth. After a short reboot, he blinked rapidly before a small smile appeared on his face.

“I would really like that, let me go get dressed.” With new energy Aiden briskly walked to his walk-in closet throwing on a beige shirt, dark brown slacks, black socks, and dark brown loafers. Grabbing his wallet and some sunglasses he stepped back into his bedroom. Noticing that his father had already left, probably to go start the car, he closed his closet door and made sure that his room was tidy before he left, just in case his mother or Amelia came in. Once done with cleaning and giving it one last check over he left for the living room.

Gracefully walking down the stairs, lest his mother criticize him for his lack of etiquette, Aiden saw Amelia, giving her a polite nod as he made eye contact with her. Aiden felt relief as he passed the threshold into the kitchen before tensing when he heard his elder sister clear her throat. He placed a hand on the doorway, elegantly turning toward her so as to not give away any of his nerves.

Amelia rose an eyebrow at him, “So you’re not even going to say bye to me?” Aiden stared at her for a moment, noting how him leaving with no goodbyes had never been a problem before.

“I apologize, I simply didn't want to disturb your work.” She looked him up and down, her nose scrunching slightly as she raised an eyebrow.

“Right...anyway, that outfit, don’t you think you look a little…I don’t know, soft?” Aiden looked down at his clothes, confused as he had never heard the color brown being referred to as...soft.

“This was all chosen by mother, so I thought they'd go well together.” Amelia stared at Aiden, before her mouth upturned into a cruel smirk.

“No wonder mom dresses you. Your fashion sense is god awful." Amelia remarked turning back to her computer. A scathing comment about how she constantly looked like she was cosplaying a white girl to fit in was crawling up his throat, but he swallowed it down.

'No matter, just get to the car, and you'll be off with dad.'

"Goodbye, Amelia." No response was given as he stepped out the front door, locking it behind him. Walking over to his father's car, he opened the passenger door and slid in.

Hamadi had been scrolling on his phone the past few minutes as the radio played. He was glad to see Aiden so bright, as bright as he could be with all the damage his step-mother has done, when it was just the two of them. Whenever his son was home, it was common that he didn’t come out of his room very often because of his mother. He didn’t have many friends because of the strictness that Soren had. Not many slumber parties were held and whenever friends were over Hamadi tried his best to show that, at the very least, that not both his parents were sticks in the mud by taking Aiden and his friends out to arcades, out to eat, and doing more fun activities where he could.

No matter what he tried though, the ‘friends’ that Aiden had tried to make never ended up coming back. Hamadi always thought it was because of his wife. She had a tendency to scare off the kids because of the spite she seemingly carried with her. The last time Aiden had friends over didn’t end very well…

“Dad?” Aiden had a hand on his shoulder, drawing him out of his stupor.

“Sorry, Aiden, what were you saying?” Hamadi turned to look at his son with gentle eyes. Aiden’s brow furrowed in concern as he looked up at his father.

“Are you alright?” Aiden analyzed his father’s face, as the seemingly gentle smile looked more strained and his eyes looked far more tired than they did at the beginning of the ride.

“Yes, Aiden, don’t worry, just thinking about some old memories. Now, could you start again? I promise I’ll listen this time.” Aiden closed his eyes as his father placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair slightly. He couldn’t help but feel suspicious wondering what his father had been thinking of, but nevertheless, enjoyed this precious time with his father for the rest of the day.

——————————————————————————————————

Aiden couldn’t help but theorize about what his father was bothered by that day but there’s no real way he could know, and he doubts his father remembered by this point even if he did ask him. Letting out a heavy breath as he sifts through the hangers of his closet and he pulls out a long-sleeve, tight-fitting, black turtleneck, with a loose maroon crop top to go over, and some black joggers. Pulling out his underwear drawer he moves some of his boxers to the side to access a barely there button, by pressing it, a section of drawer floor pops up showing his small jewelry compartment.

Aiden's mind sometimes wanders to the thought of if his mother ever finds out about the hidden compartment, what would happen, and couldn’t help but grimace at the thought. She would skin him alive if she ever finds it. He prays that she never does. Pulling out a silver dangle earring and a slim silver chain necklace, he stuffs it into his pocket before grabbing his training bag revealing the blackened wall and carpet beneath it. It had been years since then, when he first got his powers. His body was engulfed in flames, blood rushing in his ears, and his dad and mom's shouts reaching his ears. He couldn’t remember much beyond that.

Lifting his duffle bag onto his shoulder he makes sure he has everything important plus a change of clothes if need be before stepping out of his closet. As he walks out of his room he grabbed his metal water bottle before walking down the stairs. He steps into the kitchen where his mother is making his lunch. Holding back the thought of snatching the food out of her hands and throwing it away, he slowly walks up to the kitchen island and stands across from her.

“What’s for lunch today?” He asked softly glancing from her to the food. Soren didn’t bother to look at him as she picks up the fruit and dumps it into a small tupperware.

“I packed you a greek salad with cottage cheese," Aiden already wanted to throw up just thinking about the texture of cottage cheese on his tongue, "Of course, it’s all under your recommended caloric intake of course so you can have dinner.” Soren turns to look at her son with a blank face as she hands him the box of food. Swallowing the rock in his throat, Aiden nods, taking the box from her hands. Feeling his mother’s eyes rake across him made the hair on his neck stand on end. With a final huff she nods and turned back around.

The dismissal is obvious, so Aiden swiftly turns and leaves the kitchen heading to the front door. He pauses at the entryway glancing at the notepad sitting on the dresser. Picking up the pen and the notepad he scribbles a quick note to his family, specifically his father, and placed it back down before slipping on his shoes. Glancing back into the house one last time, he opened the door and left.

The overcast sky gave off a gloomy atmosphere but Aiden loves it. The clouds gave him comfort, it feels like the gods were giving him a break placing a blanket over him as if they are tucking him in bed. But that soon changes as a flash ran across the sky, a rumble following it soon after. It was a few small drops, and then a downpour as Aiden starts running for cover towards a nearby convenience store. Letting out a tired breath, he tries to ring out his sweatpants to the best of his ability.

“Should’ve brought an umbrella.” Aiden mumbles.

Clip-clop

Clip-clop

Clip-clop

A horse…? Aiden raises his head to be greeting a black stallion pulling a carriage through the downpour slowly walking towards him. Standing straight, Aiden’s eyes narrow as he glares at the horse who stops about 20 feet away from him. The horse snorts, scraping its hoof against the ground. Everything was silent except for the rain beating upon the pavement.

The horse charges.

Aiden’s hands light with flames.

Everything in his vision turns black.

——————————————————————————————————

Aiden opened his eyes, at least, he thought he did. It was so dark that he probably couldn't even tell if his hand was in front of his face or not. Shifting, he immediately noticed that he was in a box. What kind of box? He had no idea, but the knowledge of him being in a box was enough for him to start panicking. Slamming his palms, knees, foot, whatever he could get to touch the top of the box so he could get out.

He felt tears on his lash line his mother would be ashamed as he continued to hurriedly slam his body against the roof. Finally getting fed up, with a quiet choked sob, he heated his hands and placed them against the thick wood. With all his strength, the wood finally, finally fell off of the box.

CRASH

Heaving as he threw himself out of the box, stumbling to ground the white tips of his hair coming into his view. Sitting on his knees he grabbed his wrist while taking deep breaths to calm his shaky hands as he scanned the unfamiliar area. Glancing around he noticed the gothic architecture to the room he was in along with the coffins that were floating around the room.

He's desperately trying not to focus so hard on the fact that he was in a coffin, and the fact that said coffin was floating.

Aiden also realized that there was a large mirror floating in the middle of the room. It was quiet the only ambiance being the crackling of fire and humming of something, he knew it wasn't anything electric like A/C.

Finally, the last thing he noticed were the black and purple robes flowing over his body. The clothes he left the house with still on underneath. Taking a steadying breath, he stood and straightened his clothes brushing off any imaginary dust.

Taking on the air that his mother taught beat him, he schooled his expression and stepped toward the regal double doors. No one was here to answer his questions so he was going to find someone. As he turned to the right, he never noticed a gray cat with flaming ears scampering towards the open doors.

——————————————————————————————————

Aiden finds his way to what looks like a courtyard. Staring up into the skies, he squints his eyes as he searches for the North Star or even Thuban for that matter. He feels the panic from earlier rearing its ugly head again as he realizes that he doesn't recognize any constellations within the atmosphere. Staring hard into the night sky, his throat closes up as nothing popped out to him. Nothing was familiar, nothing felt like home.

“Mister?” Jolting, Aiden whips his head around to see a small body standing a few feet behind him. Letting out a breath, the half-Egyptian fully turns to the young boy.

“I apologize, I didn't hear you arrive. Ahem, did you need anything?” Aiden stares at the young boy, and slowly realizes that his body seems to be covered in some plated armor. A flame where his heart rested and the oddest thing? He was floating.

“I should be asking you, mister! You seemed a little lost so I thought I’d be able to help! My name is Ortho Shroud, it’s nice to meet you!” Aiden sends a soft smile his way. He didn't feel any ill intent from the boy, but the fact that this seemingly young child could probably break more than a few of his bones put him on edge.

“I believe I am lost. I woke up in a coffin and wandered around until I ended up here. Could you please tell me where I am?” Ortho tilts his head, the blue flames that masquerade as his hair flickers as he moves.

“You’re at Night Raven College, silly! A school for magicians and wizards, that’s why you woke up in a coffin, you're a student here! Orientation is today!” Ortho cheers, smiling brightly at the older boy across from him. The cyborg(?) floats over and grabs Aiden’s hand, tugging the stunned teen back towards the school.

“A-Ah, pardon me, Night Raven College? I’ve never heard of that school before. What country is it in?” Ortho looks back at Aiden more confused than before.

“Country? We’re in Twisted Wonderland, mister…You’re really lost aren’t you?” Aiden’s eyes widen, the panic slamming into his chest like a sledgehammer as he felt his throat close up.

He can’t jump to conclusions. He shouldn't that wasn't how mother taught him. He knew his geography though, he knew it because mother wouldn't accept anything less than perfect, but there's a possibility a small, slim possibility that maybe, just maybe there was a new country established called Twisted Wonderland for some reason, or maybe even an amusement park the size of a country! Yes, that much be it, he simply must be at an amusement park, probably an illegal one that kidnapped him. He just needs to find a way out and back home! Gulping, he looks back into Ortho’s eyes tearing his own away from the ground. Information, he needs information on where he is and how he can get back home.

“Ortho.”

“Yes?”

“Can you take me to the library? I seem to have forgotten some things, so reading some books would put me at ease.” Ortho stares at him silently for a little, before nodding firmly, taking his hand again and dragging him back to the school.

As Aiden follows Ortho through the dim, dark hallways of the castle, he runs a hand through his black hair messing with the white tips. Rolling his fingers over his hair ends at the back of his neck, he closes his eyes taking in the silence around him.

‘I wonder where my mother thinks I am, or what she thinks I did.’ A harsh sigh escapes his lips, his slate gray eyes opening, feeling the tug of Ortho’s hand as the child leads him over to two large double doors. Glancing at Ortho, who takes a couple steps back, he places his hands on the dark wood and pushes open the heavy set doors.

The smell of old books and papers hit his nose. Taking a deep breath, he let a small smile grace his lips. The library was one of the few places he felt safe.

“Thank you for your help, Ortho, I believe I can handle it from here. I apologize for being a bother.” Aiden says, bowing to Ortho. Ortho hesitates, glancing back to the dark hallways and then to Aiden. Pursing his lips, Ortho nods before floating away.

Aiden looks at the signs at the ends of the shelves and walks towards the history section. Meandering down the aisle, he let his fingertips brush against the spines of the clearly old books, before stopping at A History of Night Raven College: From Founding to Present. Pulling the book from the shelf, he rubbed the pads of his fingers on the gilded designs as he walked towards a table that was near the center of the room with his front facing the library doors.

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓞𝓷𝓮: 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓯 𝓝𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓡𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓰𝓮 Perched atop the desolate cliffs of the Isle of Sages, Night Raven College was established centuries ago as a sanctuary for the most gifted and ambitious magic users. Founded under the decree of an enigmatic headmaster whose name has been lost to time, the institution was built upon principles of strength, independence, and mastery of the arcane. Legends whisper that the school’s Dark Mirror, an artifact of unfathomable power, was placed at its heart to judge the worth of all who sought entry, ensuring that only those with remarkable potential could walk its hallowed halls. Over the centuries, the college has produced some of history’s most formidable sorcerers, each leaving their mark upon the world in ways both celebrated and feared. Though shrouded in mystery, Night Raven College endures as a beacon of magical excellence—its past steeped in both glory and shadow.

SLAM

Aiden jumps sparks flying slightly singing the pages of the book. Wincing, he quickly closed the book staring as a well-built Japanese boy barreled through the doors a small cat breathing blue fire chasing after him.

“Mraah!! Found you human! How dare you just leave the Great Grim behind, especially since you’re going to be my new henchman! You should be honored to serve the Great Grim!!!” The cat yowls up at the student. Aiden watched the raven's eye twitch slightly as he regarding the cat with a blank expression.

“You’d be a better comedian than a magician.” The ravenette's deep voice sent shivers down Aiden's spine.

“Why you-!! That’s it, I’m gonna roast ya to crisp-! Me-YEOW! That hurt! What gives!?!” A crack of a whip resonates through the library, making Aiden flinch. Looking behind Grim and tensing at the sight of a flamboyantly yet goth dressed man with beady golden dots as eyes.

“Call it tough love.” The new deep voice says.

Aiden can’t help but stare.

He's never wanted to his dad more than right now.

[mentalknot]

On the Shifting Identity

TW: Mental Health/(Brief) Family Topics

I’ve been back in the math department for about a week now, sleeping better than I ever have quite frankly…. well except for last night… REU applications got me last night. Otherwise, sleep recovery has been wonderful — my anxiety seemed like it was reducing for the first time in months.

I was able to go into the city and visit some friends too, which was quite wonderful. It’s strange seeing them following the appointment with the neuropsychologist. I didn’t tell them much directly, but did my best to stifle the self doubt.

Nonetheless, as my brain wakes up to conjectures and theorems once more, I can’t help but feel somewhat of an identity crisis. The way professors approach me feels different, the way my graduate friends approach me feels different, and I’m getting opportunities I never imagined possible… is it pity or something else that I’m unable to socially detect?

If the eyes of others are not my paranoia leading me astray, what can I make of this world? What does it mean for someone to “look forward to reading your application?” Do I sound like a crank? Am I too slow to reply?

Am I simply isolated, requiring genuine connection, or am I destined to watch the world from behind the glass wall of mind? I know I have people who care… I see them, yet I can’t seem to convince myself of simple facts:

I am safe now; I can rest now.

The notion of family troubles me. My parents are in their mid 60s and 70s, and my grandmother is in her 90s; I’m not sure what family will be in 20 years. Hell, I’m already writing a letter to my college indicating that “home” is no longer safe for me.

I see the pain the women before me have faced. My grandmother’s parents were bankrupt when she attended college — she worked her way through a math degree despite suspected learning disabilities and a job on the side. I need to make her proud… I need to make it through this period.

Do I accept the hospitality of mathematicians, of academics generally? My only “discomforts” lie with how quickly everything happened. Just a year ago, I was a bright-eyed freshman who knew little about arXiv.org, “open problem sessions,” or the notion of a birthday conference.

However, no community has felt more like home. Perhaps I simply need to accept that my path looks different from others… that the typical rules aren’t necessarily “unimportant,” but follow different definitions for some.

If anyone read this far… you surely deserve compensation — this feels like the most disorganized ramble-post I’ve written. This account has been a great comfort, simply to expel what��s on my mind. Thank you for your time.

[driftrz]

「  ₊  ☆  ﾟ  ning  yizhuo,  she / her,  cis  woman  」  INCOMING  TEXT: omg  hv  u  met  TEMPERANCE  '  TEM  '  KUANG  of  the  RODANI  PROWLERS  yet  ?  they’re  one  of  the  crew’s  street  racer  n  actually  go  by  COLA.  the  twenty  three  y/o  is  typically  seen  hanging  arnd  vogue  videos.  allegedly  they’re  frm  queens,  nyc  n  hv  been  w/  the  crew  for  THREE  YEARS.  wtvr.  just  watch  out  for  them,  k  ?  ttyl  ! 

name : temperance kuang. no middle name. nickname (s) : tem alias : cola age : twenty3 birthday : january 1st zodiac : capricorn #signofevil gender & prns : cis woman & she / her orientation : bisexual hometown : technically born in the otherworldly hellscape tht is buffalo ny, but lived in queens nyc for most of her life height : 5'2 LMFAOOO hair color : currently dyed a verrry dark purple. eye color : dark brown. markings / scars : lil birthmark shaped like a crescent roll on her right shoulder. body mods : ears pierced but that's it because she's scared of needles occupation : employee at vogue videos ( ask her abt kill bill ! ) crew : rodani prowlers education : high school diploma, current uni of miami student ( aerospace engineering )

tw : parental death.

tem is quite sure that she had a mother, once, if only because two people are needed to make a baby. she's never met her mom, though : for her entire life, it's been just her & her dad. because of this, he had a penchant for teaching her independence in his own way. maybe neither of them could cook, but at least they both knew how to fix a leak.

it was tem's father that made her realize her love for cars. he was a mechanic who insisted she start learning to drive with him at 10. he'd teach her the inner workings of the car & the basics that everyone knew, too. would point out cars he liked on the road. & tem, impressionable & adoring her father, would listen. she was the first of her friends to get her license because of him, and he gifted her the first ever car she got.

a few weeks after her 18th birthday, her father died. the last lesson he'd ever teach tem was loneliness. for a year, she worked as hard as she could to save up as much as she could, working on college applications in the meantime. now that her dad was gone, she wanted to leave new york city. she wanted to go somewhere far from all the memories of him. & she wanted somewhere she could drive fast.

loving a challenge & the rush of doing things on a whim, tem moved to miami.

INTERVIEW :

when  did  your  first  realize  you  had  a  passion  for  cars  /  racing?

“  when  i  turned  ten,  my  dad  put  me  behind  the  wheel.  i  know,  i know,  but  relax  !  he  just  wanted  to  teach  me  to  drive.  something  about  not  wanting  to  pay  for  a  driving  instructor.  but  it  was  super  dangerous,  of  course.  i  could  barely  reach  the  brakes  and  he  was  a  little  impatient.  we'd  go  out  every  weekend  and  he'd  tell  me  everything  about  the  car.  he  made  it  sound  so  fascinating,  even  the  little  simple  things.  ”  she  laughs.  there’s  a  lightness  in  the  air,  in  her  eyes  :  love  for  her  father  blooms  clear  on  her  face.  “  he  was  right,  in  the  end.  i  didn’t  need  an  instructor,  and  i  was  the  first  of  my  friends  to  get  my  license.  my  dad  hated  when  i  would  go  fast,  though.  still,  if  it  wasn’t  for  him,  i  wouldn’t  have  ever  realized  how  much  i  liked  being  in  a  car,  the  independence  it  gave  me.  racing  just  came  from  that  naturally.  i  hated  new  york  traffic  because  it  was  constant.  the  city's  more  for  walking  than  driving,  so  i  knew  when  i  was  looking  at  colleges  that  i  wanted  somewhere  i  could  go  fast.  ”

how  do  you  feel  about  the  establishment  of  the  nariza  bois,  particularly  in  relation  to  their  split  from  the  rodani  prowlers?

she  glances  around  like  someone  might  be  listening  in.  “  ‘kay,  so,  listen,  all  of  that  happened  before  i  even  came  on  the  scene,  you  know  ?  i  got  here  in  august,  the  mess  happened  in  march,  that  sort  of  thing.  so  it’s  really  none  of  my  business.  i  just  like  to  go  so  fast  enough  i  make  someone  else  nauseous  and  i  like  to  win.  to  be  honest —  ”  she  shares  a  secret  smile  &  a  wink  with  the  interviewer— “  to  be  honest,  i  don’t  really  care  about  the  rivalry.  but  it’s  fun  to  pretend,  huh  ?  and  call  people  names  ?  plus,  the  history  between  the  prowlers  and  the  bois  makes  races  extra  fun.  they  take  it  so  seriously  !  ”  she  makes  a  sweet  exterior,  but  there’s  scars  on  her  knuckles  from  the  first  time  she  knocked  out  a  rival  racer.  the  beef  she  inherited  is  more  serious  to  her  than  she'd  like  to  admit. 

you're  often  seen  around  vogue  videos–  what  does  a  typical  visit  look  like  for  you?

cheeks  dot  with  red  ;  she’s  unusually  embarrassed  to  answer  the  question.  “  i  work  there  part  time  to  help  pay  for  school.  apparently  i  talk  too  much  about  kill  bill  ?  but  listen,  it’s  a  masterpiece  !  okay,  yes,  tarantino  is  a  loser—  i mean,  have  you  seen  him  try  to  act  in  from  dusk  til  dawn  ?  it’s  a  disgrace—  but  you  have  to  look  beyond  the  director  when  it  comes  to  movies.  they're  group  projects.  i  think  that's  why  directors  are  all  a  little  shady.  'cause  they  know  it's  not  solely  their  project,  and  the  movie  will  live  on  apart  from  them.  and  i  think  it’s  a  great  film.  what’s  so  wrong  about  recommending  it  ?  it's  definitely  a  top  ten  for  me,  and  when  i  say  kill  bill,  of  course  i  mean  volume  one  &  two  together.  separating  them  instead  of  seeing  the  vision  of  it  being  one  giant  movie  that  you  need  to  watch  intentionally  is  wild  !  so,  anyway,  my  personal  favorite  scene  is  when—  ”

do  you  ever  have  the  urge  to  swap  positions?

“absolutely  not.  doesn’t  everyone  wanna  be  a  racer  in  their  hearts  ?  behind  the  wheel  feels  like  home.  behind  the  wheel  is  everything.  i  guess  being  a  mechanic  wouldn’t  be  that  bad.  knowing  a  car  you  worked  on  won  is  an  accomplishment.  and  i'm  studying  engineering,  so  it's  not  like  i'd  be  miserable.  but  driving  the  winning  car  ?  that’s  striking  gold.  anyone  who  says  otherwise  is  either  lying  or  they  can’t  drive,  and  if  you  can’t  drive,  you  shouldn’t  even  be  here.  ”  the  words  come  out  in  a  jumbled  rush  &  take  a  moment  to  register.  she's  spoken  without  thinking  !  quickly,  she  flusters.  “  well,  except  for  the  import  models,  i  guess.  ”

HCS :

tem's  car  is  her  baby.  she  races  to  honor  her  father,  so  it  feels  like  her  car  is  an  extension  of  her  and  any  insult  against  her  car  is  an  insult  towards  her.  it's  pink  &  garish  &  instantly  recognizable  as  hers,  &  she  absolutely  loves  it.  she's  modded  it  heavily  &  is  extremely  picky  about  which  mechanics  are  allowed  to  touch  her  car.  tem  is  notoriously  bad  at  taking  care  of  herself,  but  when  it  comes  to  her  car,  it's  always  spotless  &  without  a  scratch.

her alias is cola bc she loves cherry coke & has one before every race. if she doesn't, she swears she will lose.

overly  knowledgeable  about  three  things  :  movies  (  the  bloodier  the  better  ),  mass  market  paperback  romance  novels  with  shirtless  men  painted  on  the  covers,  and  petty  crime.  if  you  need  something  shoplifted,  she's  your  girl.

is  a  polyglot  !  tem  is  fluent  in  english,  mandarin,  cantonese,  &  spanish.  she  also  knows  a  few  curse  words  in  italian.  she  loves  linguistics  (  have  i  mentioned  she's  a  little  smartass  )  &  the  process  of  learning  about  languages  and  learning  the  languages  themselves. 

WCS :

crushes of the week : tem loves hard & falls out of love just as quickly. she has a new crush every week & every week she's convinced this person is the one. bonus points if u take up whoever she wrote this love letter to.

mentor : someone from the rodani prowlers who took tem in while she was puppy dog-eyeing her way thru the scene. doesn't have to be a racer : just someone who helped her get on her feet & who she still comes to for basic life problems.

mortal enemy : in the same way she loves hard, she hates like nothing else. this person managed to annoy her so much that they've been declared her worst enemy. cld be anything from a rival racer to someone to just likes bothering her at work.

roommate (s) : self explanatory ! the person / ppl tem is living with rn. how they feel about her is up in the air, but in her eyes this is her bestie (s)