#TOXICRELATIONSHIP

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Ultimately, you didn't care about my feelings or how you hurt me. You just wanted to know if I was going to do the same back to you.

[rotten-innocence]

Wow I abandoned this blog.. oops.. life update I guess.

✨️I left my abusive relationship quite some time ago. Was in and out of psych facilities for months at a time. I'm now on the right meds and dosage and I'm doing incredibly well. I'm now engaged to a beautiful loving human and we are shopping around for our first home! I started a course to get my certificate in Mental Health so I can help others! Things are going well! Unfortunately I'm still haunted by the trauma of what happened to me and most nights I stare into the void and think back on all the horrible shit that happened to me.. but at least I'm safe now..✨️

[girltalkcollectives]

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

This entry is from an old relationship

Have you ever felt like you're the only one trying in a relationship? Like you're pouring your entire heart into something while they're just... there?

I'm sitting in my car right now, typing this on my phone because I can't be in my apartment. Because he's there, probably not even noticing that I left an hour ago. Probably hasn't even looked up from his game to realize I'm gone. And the worst part? I already know when I go back, I'll act like everything's fine.

It's such a specific type of heartbreak - loving someone who doesn't love you back but stays anyway. Because that's the thing: he stays. He's still here. Still says "goodnight." Still goes through the motions. But that's all they are - motions.

I keep a list in my notes app of all the signs I try to ignore:

How he takes hours to reply to my texts but I can see him active online.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" in months, just replies "you too" when I say it.

How he only wants to see me when it's convenient for him.

The way he talks about his future without mentioning me in it.

You know what the worst part is? I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry at myself. For staying. For making excuses. For thinking maybe if I love him hard enough, he'll start loving me back. For becoming the kind of person who checks their boyfriend's likes on Instagram at 3am, looking for signs of what I already know.

Tonight he asked what I wanted for dinner like everything was normal. Like I hadn't spent the whole day crying in my car because he forgot my birthday. Like he hadn't introduced me as his "friend" at last week's party. Like I haven't been dying inside every time he pulls away when I try to hold his hand in public.

My best friend keeps asking why I stay. I wish I had a better answer than "because I love him." But that's the whole stupid truth. I love him. I love him so much it physically hurts. I love him even though I know - I KNOW - he doesn't love me back.

Do you know how pathetic it feels to plan your whole day around someone who probably doesn't think about you at all? To get excited when they text you first, only to realize they just need something? To lie awake at night wondering what she has that you don't? (Because there's always a "she" - the one they like on every post, the one they talk about a little too much, the one they light up around in a way they never do with you.)

The dumbest part is that I keep waiting for some big dramatic moment. Like maybe one day it'll get so bad that leaving will feel like the only option. But it's not big dramatic moments. It's small things. It's a thousand paper cuts of indifference.

It's the way he doesn't ask about my day.

It's the half-hearted hugs.

It's the "maybe next time" when I suggest doing something together.

It's the way he can go weeks without seeing me and it doesn't bother him at all.

It's how he never puts his phone down when we're together.

It's the fact that I can't remember the last time he was excited to see me.

My mom always said you should be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. I used to think that was just something people say. Now I understand. Now I know exactly what she meant. Because this? This isn't it.

But here's the really messed up part - I'm still hoping things will change. Still analyzing every tiny gesture for signs that maybe he's starting to feel something real. Still trying to be the perfect girlfriend, like if I just try hard enough, he'll suddenly realize he loves me too.

I know how this ends. I've read this story before. I'm not stupid. I know he's never going to wake up one day and suddenly love me the way I love him. I know I deserve better than someone who makes me feel like an option.

But knowing you deserve better and actually leaving are two very different things.

So here I am, sitting in my car, writing this post. And in a few minutes, I'll go back upstairs. He won't ask where I've been. I won't tell him I've been crying. We'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and tomorrow we'll wake up and do it all again.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back.

It's knowing they don't love you back and staying anyway.

[freemeagain]

F*ck dich! Jeder Schmerz, jedes Gefühl von Einsamkeit ist besser als deine Manipulationen, deine Lügen, dein zerstören meines Bauchgefühls, dein mich verhungern lassen, dein Liebesentzug, dein Hass mir gegenüber. Ich ertrage das oder sterbe daran, aber vermissen tu ich dich nie wieder.

[haninabz]

A sip of you

[ca-8]

“But, as you said before, they’re strangers, and therefore have no real place in your life.”

“Yes, but it’s still about me. He told them what wasn’t true. He told them how I was to blame for a mess he created. And I’ll never know if he’ll undo those lies.”

“I know it’s frustrating to have no control over a situation such as the one you’re telling me, but you need to accept that reality in order to move on. We can’t have any control over other people’s thoughts and feelings about us, but we do have control over how we react. We need to keep that control in order to avoid getting ourselves into worse situations.”

“I know that. I don’t want to get involved with him ever again. I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s just so unfair.”

“That’s what everyone faces as we proceed through life. And getting over the trauma you have experienced will take time. You need to give yourself the patience you have always deserved.”

“But what if I never get over it? What if those lies spread and more people know things that aren’t true about me? What if he never fixes himself?”

“Why should that be your concern?”

“What?”

“Why should you be worried over whether or not he improves his character?”

“Because if not, more and more people will be affected by his actions.”

“And why should you care about those other people?”

“I don’t like knowing that people have gotten hurt because of him or are at great risk to undergo his usual treatment.”

“But you are not his parent. You are not anyone’s parent. You are responsible for you, and you alone.”

“I just want to help make the world a better place.”

“Which is a fine goal, but it seems that the stress of constantly caring about others has caused you nothing but misfortune.”

“miaYsn, your sensitivity towards other people is admirable, but your lack of restraint has caused you to constantly bend over backwards. In this case, if you let it continue to hold your mindset, it may cause your downfall. Take more time to think for yourself - what is good for yourself.”

“But what about them?”

“What about them? It’s cruel what they did to you, it’s true. But you can’t do anything about it anymore. You can’t force a change to their minds and you can’t force a change to his heart, no matter how good your intentions are. Don’t forget about the situation, but use it to learn and better yourself.”

“You need to move on.”

I don’t remember having this conversation or who spoke to me, but I can’t get it out of my head.

[bismexualitea83]

my heart is heavy with disappointment.

i shouldn't have to drag answers out of you.

it wasn't about who was right (usually me) or wrong (usually you).

it was all about the context of it all...

the context of how it happened, why it happened, what lead up to it, the thoughts leading up to it, the "whys" the "hows" the "what the fuck"s, the repeated offenses, the repeated offenses, the repeated reminders, the reminding of the repeated reminders, the repeating of the reminders repeating, the vitriol we both spat at each other to hurt or to understand (we couldn't tell the difference).

i hate everything about you. but i don't hate you.

as much as i want to, and as much as you yearn for it,

i can't hate you, and neither can you.

so we suffer together in this tangle of misplaced love.

[amylynnorg]

Being a people pleaser can really weigh on a person. Being forced to be the person who always has to apologize even when you aren't wrong is a sign you are in a unhealthy relationship. If the other party can't humble themselves and apologize for possibly hurting you, it's a toxic relationship. Respect should flow both ways. I bet you are curious how this applies to tech. Simple, did you know you can have your electronic device custom made? You don't have to accept the templates you see for sale on the show room floors. Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Be sure to Like, Subscribe, and Follow to our social media channels: https://www.facebook.com/AmyLynnsVoiceOvers https://twitter.com/amylynnorg https://thevoiceofamylynn.wordpress.com https://www.youtube.com/AmyLynnOrg Visit our website at: http://www.amylynn.org

[relationshipg2uide]

Why is My Ex Stalking Me? From Love to Obsession

Learn how to recognize and escape the toxic cycle of ex-partner stalking. Discover the signs, legal protections, and recovery strategies to reclaim your life and safety.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

It's hard to curse you, I better forget you, But I won't forgive you.

[krypistrumatized]

literally me singing to @rayslithew

[wyzechyld]

No I could never let go

I never let go

Like a balloon flies

Merging with the sky

I could never let go

I won’t let go of hope

Though

You made me out to be

Your enemy

Clothed in shining armor

Worth only as much

As the silver lining

from the hinges in my wings

To the halo fallen

Beneath

These layers of rejection

My reflection

It sighs with relief

Every time that I’m with you

Each time that I miss you

I’m permanently changed

Altered indefinitely

Inevitably

Im yours

[sarahoctavie]

LUCIE'S CRINGE DREAM EPISODE 1

[pebbfingers]

So many why

yesterday I talked to a counselor. There are so many questions that I can't answer. I feel so fragile and broken. I can not take it anymore. there were so many questions why in my head that made me feel tight and my eyes couldn't control the tears. I'm not going to lie, it feels really disgusting. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm disappointed. There are so many questions why that I can't answer. why am I so naive. why do I have to accept all this. why do I feel it is wrong to expect tender affection from others. why do I have to repeatedly think about forgiving even though I know everything ends the same. why am I not lovable enough to love. why does it seem like everything happened because I was at fault. why does everything feel so tight and even I myself don't understand why I can be this fragile.

I just want to be loved as I deserve. I just want to be hugged without having to feel guilty because I cried. I want to be someone who can make other people feel valuable when they have me.. what's wrong with that?

[justmyhumanexperience]

[cijmadien]

I used to think the story of jesus was so unique. How could he have been betrayed? But as I’ve grown, I’ve learned to live through how easy it is to go against those around you. One second to the next, all those things I once thought were important dissolve.

Even in such a harsh world, it is important that I not turn cold and closed off. While easier that way at first, it prevents the possibility of future happiness. Success. Robs me of all the goods this life is worth really.. so as I learn to handle small heart breaks and betrayals.. I hope I give myself grace.