#TOMOYO MY BELOVED

[shy-sapphic-ace]

I JUST FINISHED CARDCAPTOR SAKURA WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH NY LIFE NOW 😭💕

[gatual]

ccs clear card ♡ jewerly

[completeoveranalysis]

Of Yūko's customers, which ones you find most memorable?

Most memorable customers, you say?

I hope you don't mind me using this as an excuse to make an arbitrary list by way of answer. (Arbitrary lists, my beloved...)

Yuuko's Customers In Order Of How Well I Remember Them

(Though I will exclude all the bigger characters for fairness. So, Syaoran, Watanuki, Lava Lamp, Fai, Kurogane, Doumeki, Himawari, Seishirou, Ashura, Tomoyo, etc, etc. Regular xxxHolic customers only!)

10. Birdcage Customer

What was this about? Was he even a customer? We just don't know!

But the thing most memorable about this whole situation is the most pressing question: WHY DO YOU HAVE EVIL WOLVERINE'S SYMBOL ALL OVER YOUR HOME? It's even on his front sign!

WHO ARE YOU?????

9. The Liar

Mostly at the bottom because I can't resist the irony. She's the first big customer we see - but what do we really know about her? Absolutely nothing, because she lied every step of the way!

What can we really remember about someone who never actually told us anything about herself?

Though I guess you could say her ending causes quite an impact.

8. Monkey's Paw Customer

Did I forget this had happened? Perhaps!

She's one of those cases where the cause and effect are so clear that the rest of the cast might as well not even be there - and I think most of her story IS told through scenes entirely from her perspective.

I think the most memorable thing about her is the Sheer Audacity of hunting down a monkey's paw and being convinced that, actually, she already knows what it does so it can't possibly go wrong. Love that for her. Would kill for this confidence.

(Not literally - but she kind of did that also)

7. Ame Warashi

Her impeccable style. Her winning charm. She's an icon.

I had just completely forgotten that she was also a customer at one point.

She makes up for it for being absolutely great in every scene she was in, but what are you going to do in a list based purely on how well I remember the customer part? Woops! My bad!

6. Karasu Tengu

They get huge points for this being a Central Event in the narrative, but also I completely forgot they were in this as customers. The entire plot scenario? Incredible! Character defining! Et cetera!

The actual Karasu Tengu themselves? Woops! I forgot they were there. My fault though!

5. The Computer Addict

I love this one. She's so ahead of the curve that she was addicted to the internet back when you had to be on the pc to use it. Honestly, relatable. I also went through a phase like this as a young teen, so the struggle was real.

Little did we all know that in the present day the accessibility of the internet would be so rampant that she literally wouldn't even need that pc to indulge her habits anymore. Oops!

But that aside Yuuko is peak during this arc and I love everything about it. Especially the fact that Yuuko just hangs out on message boards in her free time? Wonderful information. I can do so much with this.

4. Oops! All Ghosts

Another incredible storyline. The twists are preserved by some sneaky panels from Watanuki's perspective and Yuuko's morally grey approach to the whole situation is wonderful. What if you wanted to get rid of the ghost in your home, only to find out that YOU were the ghost all along? It has the DISTRESS. It has the CONFLICT. It has the TRAGEDY. 10/10

3. Haunted Photo

Another customer with Peak Audacity. Trying to wish away the consequences of your own actions? Committing something awful but being unable to actually look at the proof yourself? The ultimate wish being an anxiety inducing curse that is sure to fail? Love it.

It's also one of those juicy situations where the morality of the situation basically drives itself. The customer causes her own problems and can't actually be saved - and doesn't deserve it either.

And honestly I think CLAMP should get a lot of credit for having the haunting effects of a photograph slowly turning around in a purely static medium. They really pulled that off.

I still love the evil smile in the photograph the last time we see it. PURE memorable.

2. The Twin

WE LOVE HER? WE LOVE HER.

Being consistently cut off and run down and overwritten and slowly clawing your way out of the situation through the sheer desire to be your own person?

And then the answer is a haircut?

It's another glimpse into the side of Yuuko that really does try cut people a good bargain. The wish could have been taken in any number of ways, but Yuuko went for the easiest and most affordable way that would genuinely help the customer actually fix her life on her own. She didn't specifically need supernatural help for this, but it was the route that presented itself, and it was the one that got her the help she needed when she needed it. Very hitsuzen, very relatable, very identifiable storyline that sticks with you.

Just like the final entry!

1. Kohane

Listen do I even need to explain this one.

Kohane is like THE storyline. It's THE example of what it's all about. It's not entirely supernatural in nature but completely heart wrenching. It has Watanuki playing a central role in fixing the problem, setting up for his future (or at least, what I assume it will be). It ties xxxHolic to Tsubasa and hints at a secret tool that will help with someone later.

And it has Kohane! You can't go wrong.

[houkagokappa]

I watched Mononoke Karakasa so I now I can interact with the small handful of posts about it I have and will come across on my dash

Here are a few thoughts I have about the movie

First of all, what a stacked cast! A lot of seiyuu I really love, Tomoyo Kurosawa my beloved~ and Hiroshi Kamiya fits Kusuriuri perfectly!

Second of all, LESBIANS!! I saw one post mentioning the possibility, so I knew I could expect something, and I got more than I was anticipating so I'm very happy. I also think I enjoyed the story and the characters more due to how female focused it was

I was a little worried if 90 minutes of Mononoke would melt my brain, but I was glued to the screen the entire time. It looked stunning and was an upgrade from the tv-anime (which tbf aired 17 years ago). The new design for Kusuriuri is super hot, although I prefer the gold and white version for his transformation, I can understand why they changed it too. As always, I'm a sucker for pretty kimonos and intricate hairdo's and we got a lot of that in this movie~

Overall a very nice movie and I'm happy there will be a continuation for it. I'm a fairly new fan to the franchise/character, but it's pretty cool how far they've come, from an arc to a tv-anime to full movies. I can't wait to see what happens to these characters next!

[thewickedlorchqueen]

Given Lily's pattern of hating works made by women creators (SU, FMA, TOH, Dungeon Meshi kinda) I wouldn't be surprised if she hates on Witch Hat Atelier, which was written by a woman, once the anime comes out. The creator is friends with Dana Terrace and the manga advocates against voyeurism and sexual abuse, which is probably reason enough for her to hate it.

Also, I wonder what she thinks of Rumiko Takahashi? I bet she hates Ranma with a burning passion for its admittedly outdated portrayal of gender. She'd probably group it with Rocky Horror and RuPaul. I think I remember she said she liked Cardcaptor Sakura once, which was made by four women, but called Tomoyo a creepy lesbian for her constant filming of Sakura. Then again I bet she secretly gets off to it because they're cousins and underage. It's performative, just like her hatred of Elsanna and Andy and Leyley.

Not gonna lie, I have no idea when it comes to Lily. I truly think it depends on how popular the show gets, but yeah I can see her finding something nitpicky to complain about. I will have to check it out it looks good!

As for Rumiko Takahashi, yeah she probably hates her, I mean a popular Japanese manga artist that has not only written four popular manga (Ranma, Inuyasha, Urusei yatsura, maison Ikkoku) all aimed at women with her attempts at gender being outdated (but to be fair she wrote Ranma in the nineties? when even her fav sitcom friends had the same level of questionable takes. I love friends but Chandlers parents), and is well beloved in the anime community? Wouldn't be surprised if she tries to pull another Rebecca Sugar.

Yeah I say that as well and like Lily, the same person that will have one sister wrap her arm around another, cuddling her in the moonlight while listening to the radio and gives her sister a kiss on the cheek, for a valentines day special,

OG post https://www.tumblr.com/lilyvalerieorchard/758382305961181184/rise-my-minions-we-have-another-post-to-report?source=share

is going to say a elementary school girl filming her best friend fight bad guys is predatory? K

[stardustizuku]

PART 3: The Theme or "How Does Magic Work?"

My old dramaturgy teacher would always tell us that every story has a “premise”. The point you’re trying to get across. What this entire three act structure monster we call stories are trying to say.

It’s always a single sentence, and may even be cliché. “Friends are forever”, “keep moving forward” or “love hurts you”.

In Magical Girl stories these premises are interconnected with their powers.

The premise of the show is reflected in either their powers, the monster of the week or the final villain.  A villain is presented, and a hero is presented. The powers of the hero are the solution to a problem caused by the enemy.

In a good show, this is all unified. It’s all the same, or has a very general aesthetic. This is what I mean by “theme”. It’s the premise, the aesthetics, all working together to create a cohesive thing that will shape your story.

Take Star Vs. It had a rough time finding its footing, but it’s basically privilege and the accountability we have for the mistakes of our past generations. Star is a princess, placed there by centuries of corruption. How do we solve it? By returning it to its rightful owner (Eclipsa) or, as seen in the finale, destroying the magic entirely.

And this is only the theme tied to the characters, when we get into the theme tied to both villains and powers – it becomes even clearer that the best shows are those who understand this balance.

Sakura Card Captor’s theme is connections or rather, the relationships we have with one another and how they make us human. This is why her Cards are important. They give you insight on people. The Illusion Card showed us how much Sakura longs for her mother. The Song Card tells us about Tomoyo’s love for music, her voice, and Sakura. And through bits and pieces, we learn about the people around her and how much they matter.

When the Final Judgement rolls around, what’s put into jeopardy is precisely that. Not her life, or her future, but her relationships and connections to others. If she loses, she’ll forget the feelings of Her Most Beloved Person. They show us a word without feelings, without connections, those same that the Cards helped formed and us to see - and it’s terrifying.

There’s no real enemy other than forgetting.

The Cards and the Theme are connected. Sakura even forms a bond with them. So in a way, Sakura keeping and using the Card is a way of her clinging to her feelings and treasuring the connections she has to others.

The Premise, the message, is “Our connections keep us human”.

Tokyo Mew Mew has something similar. It has a mostly environmental message. The girls become a hybrid of endangered animals, trying to save the Earth. It’s no coincidence that Chimeras are animals deformed. Polluted animals, corrupted ecosystems, only being able to be purified by people who care.

Some, like Rei, hold deep love for animals (Butterflies) and are used to hurt others.

So their goal is not only to save the Earth (from aliens) but also to save Earth (nature, the planet, the environment) from humans. And their powers represent as much, for they’re endangered animals.

Even the Aliens chastise humans for destroying their home. They bear hatred for humans who seem to take for granted a home that they desperately want.

At the end, the Aliens are given a chance to rebuild their home with the scattered pieces of Mew Aqua. Aoyama (the one who always cares for the environment) is the one to help Ichigo destroy Deep Blue, who wanted to destroy Earth.

The enemies are both the distorted creations of pollution and those who want to take Earth for their own gain. Their powers come from endangered animals, taked to protect the Earth, the nature, that they have.

Their premise then becomes, “we have to care for Earth”.

Princess Tutu’s theme is destiny. This is the one who’s most on the nose about it. Princess Tutu is a puppet for a cruel story made by Drosselmayer, and everyone else is following his command. All eternally cursed to repeat such a tale.

Tutu very much represents it. Her powers to restore Mytho’s heart are destiny-based. It’s her job (although unknown to her) to set the pieces back together so that the “Prince and the Raven” can continue. She’s the set piece that “turns back time”

At the end of the story, his heart is fragmented again. So that the story can start again, she must bring him whole again. Only then can “The Prince and the Raven” start. Once she sacrifices everything and gives up her humanity can the tragedy truly begin, The Prince sacrificing his heart to seal the Raven.

But the story is about breaking this cycle. She fights back against destiny. Making sure the story doesn’t repeat itself and achieve a happy ending - even if it’s not for herself

The enemy itself is destiny, represented by Drosselmeyer.

Her powers originally given to her so that a destiny could be fulfilled, eventually got used to fight against it and give Mytho his happiness back.

The premise, obviously, “you can fight against destiny”. Or the more well-known quote: “May those who follow their fate be granted happiness; may those who defy it be granted glory”

Mermaid Melody is about hidden feelings, longing.

Many characters are unable to let go of the past, and wish/long for something. Luchia longs to confess her feelings, Hanon longs for her teacher, Kaito still waits upon the Mermaid who saved him, Sara is still in love with Taro, Gaito loves Sara, even the minions have wishes of the own.

And how do they express them? Through the songs. Through the same powers they have. Because the nature of them being turned into bubbles if they confess, the only true way for them to say their deepest feelings are true the songs they sing to defeat the villains. Perfect Blue is sung by Hanon when she realizes her love for Taro. Sara’s longing for Taro creates “Return to the Sea”. Luchia’s unrequited love creates “Legend of the Mermaid”. Seira’s wish to be born makes her sing “Birth of Love”.

The wishes that can’t be voiced, the longing they have, are transmitted through songs; the powers they have. They’re connected once more.

The enemies in this case, either shut their own ears to avoid listening to said longing or outright sing over them. By the end, Gaito reveals his own longing for Sara, and this is what brings us closure. When the villain allows himself to voice his feelings, is when our characters win.

The Premise is “always say what’s in  your heart”.

Shugo Chara’s theme is self-discovery. The shugo charas are representations of who they want to be - who they want to become. As they solidify their dreams, their abilities and their wishes - they’re able to transform in that self that is their ideal self.

Monsters come in the form of those who have lost their purpose or whose “shugo chara” got corrupted or lost.

So while their powers are born from the ideal self - their identity - the monster come from those who corrupt them or demotivate them to follow said dreams.

I find it really poetic how they have to say "my heart, unlock". It says a lot about how they have to "open up" to reveal their true self.

The message, “be who you want to be”.

Sailor moon has a different theme each season but in Sailer Moon SuperS it’s dreams. Everyone has a dream and Chibiusa’s pure dream is the one that attracts the power of Pegasus. The enemies are those searching for other people’s dreams, so we learn about the victim’s dreams.

It’s chibiusa’s dream-powered magic that allows them to protect other people’s.

Hell, even Madoka has it. Hope.

Every magical girl is born out of hope, a wish. And it’s That wish keeps them going, fighting the manifestation of despair: witches

When they realize that despair is the inevitable end of that hopeful wish they made, it’s when Madoka steps in. And through her selflessness, she uses hope filled Magic to destroy the despair (all witches) that burden the magical girls.

Again, through her hopeful magic, she defeats despair.

Her message is the same “hope beats despair”.

So,

How do Chat and Ladybug power’s, relate to both their internal conflict, and the villains they have to fight?

Again, not much. The show is more focused on the expanding lore than, actually tying it all up in a concise reason as to why and what they’re fighting. But it’s never connected.

All I can think of as a Theme is “The ideal vs the real” on how Adrien is perceived as ideal but Chat is the real, and Marinette the real vs Ladybug the ideal.

However, these things never get fully explored.

The monsters, the akumas, are negative emotions. Anger, sadness, helplessness, and seeking retribution of them. Doesn’t really match on a surface level.

AND THEIR POWERS. Both “luck” and “destruction”.

Characters: Ideal vs Real.

Monster: Negative Emotions.

Powers: Luck and Destruction.

Can you see why this is a mess of a series? Presented like this, bare bones and surface level, NOTHING connects.

And it gets even more annoying when you get to the rest of the team – and don’t worry we’ll get to the fucking team – because there we don’t even HAVE the a connecting thing for the animals they are.

What the hell does a turtle, a mouse, a fox and ladybug have in common?

Nothing.

You can’t do that!

You can’t just put a bunch of animals together for no reason! Tokyo Mew Mew has them, sure, but they’re all endangered animals. No better example than Pre-cure that while they have random powers each season, they all stay on a theme. Animal doctors, music, elements. The like.

But.

Ignoring the issues with the team for now.

How does, *gestures at the table* it connect?

Well, personally, I can tie. Not through anything the show has stated, mind you, but more as a head canon and personal interpretation.

What if the butterflies represent the transformation?

Luck, and bad luck. Creation and destruction. How do they tie to bad emotions?

Maybe if those bad feelings represented destruction, and only ladybug “creation” could be able to solve them. Then the theme of “Transformation” could tie it all together.

You can’t create without first destroying. And you can destroy if you haven’t created yet. Ou can’t be angry, if you weren’t happy once, and you can’t be happy without being sad sometimes.

Like Chat can’t work without Ladybug, then Ladybug can’t work without Chat.

Transformation would have been an amazing theme, quite ironic tho, because the show literally never “transforms”. The status quo stays pretty much the same and it never bothers to transform either it’s character or plot points.

It would be amazing if we had gotten to see Marinette truly change. Marinette becoming more like ladybug, and Adrien becoming more like Chat. That the “ideal and the real” aren’t as diametrically opposed as they thought. And that they as civilians, can transform into that ideal they long for, without the need for a superhero mask. It would perfectly fit with the powers and the monsters.

Even more, what if they influenced and transformed each other too? How fun would it have been to see them constantly changing one another? Seeing Ladybug become a bit more like chat? Or Chat more like ladybug?

And I know the show is trying, but it’s not succeeding - but imagine having Ladybug realizing she can’t do it without Chat. Not only because he cares for him, but because they complement each other. What if her powers won’t work if Chat isn’t near? What if Chat tries to move on from Ladybug but feels useless?

Chat feeling awful because he can only destroy stuff. Ladybug reassuring him that it’s just part of transformation, and through breaking smth they can create smth new?

Ladybug accidentally creating something that she shouldn’t have. Something dangerous and out of control and its Chat who saves her. Who reassured her that even if she messes up, he’ll be there to clean up at the end?

What if the “Miraculous Ladybug” shout at the end turns everything to normal isn’t just Ladybug’s power? It’s something only completed if Ladybug AND Chat’s combine their powers?

Chat destroys what wasn’t supposed to be there, Ladybug creates what was destroyed.

This is what a good theme can do. A clear vision of what you’re trying to say, about what your characters do and should be fighting.

If you were to ask me, I wouldn’t be able to tell you the Theme That MLB has RIGHT NOW.

And because it doesn’t have a theme it feels like a bunch of loosely strung together pieces that make no sense when you try pierce them.

Nothing is…put together. Nothing is cohesive. One minute the show is telling you to forgive people who may do stuff because they’re pressure by their environment (Zoe by Cloe) and the other the opposite (Cloe by her mother - a villain).

The theme that should be tying it all together doesn’t exist. What’s the message? What do they wanna say? To all those young girls what are they trying to tell them?

That through connections to other people you can be happy?

That fighting and caring for the environment is something important and we should care?

That if you try hard enough even your awful destiny can be overturned?

That through singing you can share your deepest feelings even if you aren’t allowed to say them?

That it’s okay to falter or not know who you are, as long as you keep trying you’ll eventually become someone you’ll be proud to be?

That dreams are important and you should fight to protect and keep them? No matter how silly?

That it’s okay to despair, because hope will always win? That you can make wishes, that things will be okay?

NO

Ladybug doesn’t say shit. And I’m not saying it has to say anything deep. I’m just saying it has to say something! Anything! A theme! A message!

And if you don’t have a theme, if you don’t a message, if you don’t have a premise

Then why are you telling a story?

Easy, you’re not. You’re not telling a story. Because a story has a reason to exist. This is so basic they teach it in introduction to creative writing at a community college, and these idiots can’t even figure out what the point of their story IS.

Scarlett Lady does a great job at it.

The theme is simple.

Anyone can be a hero.

Scarlet Lady is a hero despite everything (in the public eye). And brings certain mobility for Chat and Marigold. And Marinette became a hero without a miraculous. And then with one.

Everyone can get akumatized, sure. But people can be heroes too. All that it takes is not giving in to your negative emotions, and choosing to take action.

Even Lila eventually becomes part of the group. Even she eventually helps. When Sabrina breaks out of Chloe’s shadow she becomes a hero in her own right, standing up to someone who hurt her. And standing up when Chloe tries to hurt others.

Is a simple message, one probably not even intended by the creator. But it shows that if you do it right if you have a clear sense of your characters of your story, their motivations and their powers - a theme isn’t hard to get

It speaks volumes to its incompetence

Not only does Ladybug not have a purpose to reflect Marinette’s alter ago, it can’t even bother to have a theme.

At this point...

Why are we even here?

There's no point in this story. There's no point in us being here. There is no point in us caring, because CLEARLY, the writers don't even care.

It's trash. It's nothing. And I'm not trying to be hyperbolic - if there is no premise, there's no reason for the story. It becomes nothing more than wallpaper with a budget, or background noise. Something closer to children's media, the level of paw patrol, teen titans go or Mickey's house club.

Something only worth a damn for the palette and moving characters.

What’s even worse is the third and final nail on the coffin this show put on itself. They didn’t have a theme when the powers were just luck and bad luck. How can it possibly work with-

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[izutsoupmi]

Magia Cyan - Annotated: - The same way that (I keep insisting) momo is based on tomoyo ccs, saki's design is based on Daughter Of All Time sakura ccs - In japanese flower language, sunflowers mean "I look only at you" and "admiration/longing", and here momo is to sunflowers as saki is to sun, we all understand. If the site i was checking wasn't lying to me and the number of flowers does, in fact, matter, then 11 sunflowers additionally means "beloved/dearest" - That's my phone. I know japan is iphoneland and i know momo has an iphone but I Don't and it was easier to just use what i had instead of finding the one specific picture at the one specific angle with the video setting for the camera on. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me - Michiko dropped out of uni to become lord enorme and feels/is directly responsible for cyan's disappearance. It kinda just Feels Right that she would've jumped ship around the start of her second year (which wouldve also been the second year of hs for momo/randa/saki). My plan was for saki to do this big reveal and then bolt so i guess we're looking at a summer 2018 timeframe, since that's when sunflowers bloom? knowing how long the mgh took would make this a lot easier... (but i kinda drew myself into that corner, huh) - it's 04:37:56 on the camera timer bc i'm reffing ch. 43 (baiseleo vs pesca, which doesn't have much to do with anything but is the only one that i could feasibly turn into a time code of some kind) and ch. 56 (shio-chans SoL), the 7 is a / :^)

BONUS: the design draft (?), the first AND firstest sketches, and miss girl, unobscured

[mahou-furbies]

Closing thoughts on Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

To my surprise this had already ended, and over a year ago too. Apparently CCS isn't big enough in my circle for it to have been bigger news.

First things first, the worst sin this manga commits is that there aren't nearly enough magical girl outfits! CCS is known for Tomoyo crafting a new one for every event, but this time most of the Card Catching happens so spontaneously that there's no time for a costume change. Which I suppose technically makes sense in-story, but I still reject this and would instead prefer any kind of excuse to get Sakura into a cute new fantasy outfit every chapter, no matter how nonsensical it might be.

Then for the actual content. In general I can see why CCS is such a beloved classic, but personally I've never been too big on it. Which makes it a little difficult to judge the sequel, like is it actually meh, or am I just being a hater again? I just can't get into these characters, I can like a good wholesome story like Yotsuba& where everyone is super nice, but in CCS the cast is just so saccharine that they barely feel human, so it's hard to get invested. It's like Sakura is rather meant to be someone's ideal daughter instead of her own person, like she's eternally pure, ever so helpful and well behaved, never has a nasty thougth in her mind, and so on.

Another issue I remember from the original manga that still persists here is how almost every character hides important information from Sakura. You can "well actually" most of it, like a lot of the time there is a decent reason, but there's just so much of it that to me it feels kind of patronising, or frustrating when the main character is always several steps behind. Some of the secrecy doesn't even lead to anything interesting story-wise, like eventually the information gets out and Sakura is a little upset for one panel, and then everything is forgiven. I don't know how much of a fair criticism this is, but the "keep secrets from the main character to protect them" trope is one of my pet peeves (unless you lean into the broken trust aspect, then it's good) and I feel it strongly here. Also in general it's a good thing that the side cast has their own thing going on so that the main character is not the only one who gets anything done, but here Sakura sometimes gets lost in everyone else's planning.

The new girl Akiho is at least cute, I got no complaints on her. I'm also always a sucker for any kind of twin/clone/otherwise similar and paired characters, so my favourite thing about the manga was how she kept being compared to Sakura. As for the story otherwise… Eh. Feels a lot like a retread of the original manga, Sakura's Cards disappear and she must get new ones one by one. The character relationships are pretty static and I don't think I really learned anything new about Sakura. There are a lot of Alice in Wonderland references, which for the most part felt superfluous. Towards the end Sakura's class puts up a play that's a pastiche of Alice in Wonderland, and then Sakura gets sucked into the world of the play, and the story gets pretty confusing when the characters are both acting their roles and doing the actual plot.

Also if you're into Tomoyo/Sakura or Toya/Yukito you don't need to bother with this because you'll be scrambling for crumbs, there is little else in terms of shipping besides Sakura/Syaoran. Which is like the most vanilla ship ever, sure it's wholesome but man I just can't get anything out of them.

[ikeromantic]

Jealousy Becomes Him

A Keiji Maeda story featuring OC Tomoyo, written as a (belated) Valentine's gift for @scruffymctee - in this spicy story Keiji has a bout of severe jelly-boy syndrome which resolves in the best (and spiciest) way possible. Approx. 2700 words.

Keiji wasn’tgoing to be caught by surprise this year. No sir. Last year Tomoyo had popped up with a box of handmade candies and a little painted card with a poem on it. And he’d been empty handed. Caught flat-footed by this ‘Valentine’ holiday. Not this time! This time, he had it all planned out. 

Flowers, dinner, a special box of sweets and a new kind of tea . . . it would be perfect. As he left the tea shop, he caught sight of his princess a few stalls down. Tomoyo looked beautiful today. Her dark hair was caught up in a bun held with a jade comb that complimented her eyes and the brightly colored kimono she wore. 

She hadn’t noticed him yet. She was leaning over a display, her focus intense. Keiji had it in mind to sneak up on her but just as he began to approach, someone stepped beside her and took her arm. Not just any someone. Tokugawa. 

Tomoyo smiled up at Ieyasu and gestured for him to look as well. The two of them stood at the display for a few breaths and then Ieyasu said something that Kaiji could not hear. Tomoyo laughed and patted his arm. Then they walked on together.

Keiji felt a sick burning in his gut. A thick, bitter bile of jealousy. He could not imagine why his princess was out with that fluffy-headed sourpuss. Leaning on his arm. Laughing with him. Part of Keiji yearned to march over there and grab Ieyasu. Challenge him. But he knew his beloved Tomoyo would not appreciate that kind of machismo.

She was a woman with her own mind and she did not appreciate anyone making choices for her. 

The smart thing to do would be to leave. And then talk with Tomoyo later. But Keiji wasn’t feeling smart right now. So he grabbed a straw hat and a plain haori from a clothing stall and slouched along behind them, following close enough to catch some of their conversation but far enough to be hard to notice.

“What about these?” Tomoyo gestured at something spread on the vendor’s table in front of her. Some sort of cloth? Keiji strained to make it out, but he was at a bad angle.

“It would look good on you.” Ieyasu reached forward, touching whatever it was. 

“You think so?” She laughed. “I don’t think it’s my color.”

Ieyasu’s cheeks flushed. “Every color is your color.”

Tomoyo smiled widely. “That’s nice of you to say.” She glanced again at whatever it was and then tugged Ieyasu on.

Keiji stopped at the vendor table as they moved on. He squinted at the vendor. “What was that lady pointing at?”

“This, my lord.” He gestured at an inrō on his table. The wallet was worked silver and wood, shaped like some fantastic bird. The ojimi that fastened it was coral and carved to look like a flower. The bright salmon color of the flower-carved bead drew the eye and the workmanship on it was perfect. 

“How much?” 

After a brief few moments of haggling, Keiji purchased the wallet she liked and then scanned the market to locate them again. He noticed they were at a shop with a bunch of little accessories. Odds and ends, really. Clasps and ties, decorative beads, combs and pins for hair. 

Ieyasu was bent down over the blanket, pointing out a few items. Tomoyo’s brow was creased in thought as she looked them over. 

Keiji thought they were looking at some clothing pins with red agate beading and a carved and inlaid tsuba for a small sword. Was Ieyasu trying to buy her gifts today? He scowled. Of course Tomoyo deserved every good thing but . . . he wanted to be the one to give it to her. The one to see her smile of surprise and pleasure. 

After a little discussion, the two of them moved away from the accessories stall and headed toward a nearby tea house. Keiji quickly sped over and purchased the red agate pins. They were very nice, he thought. The sort of thing he might wear with his brightly colored haori. 

It was a little harder to stalk them at the teahouse. If he sat close enough to hear their conversation, Tomoyo might notice him. He settled for a spot where he could see them clearly, but he was too far away to make out their conversation. This made his afternoon so much worse. 

Tomoyo and Ieyasu sat there drinking tea and ordering sweets for hours. Talking, laughing . . . Ieyasu even smiled once. And Keiji could not hear a word that was said. For all he knew, his lady love was pledging her heart to that - that dandelion headed, sour faced infant. It was only his years of acting and work as a spy that allowed him to stay seated and simply watch. 

Under his annoyance and jealousy lurked fear and hurt. He loved Tomoyo more than life. She was smart and pretty, stubborn and idealistic. A woman he thought of as a partner and friend, one that held his heart. And he’d thought he held hers. Dark thoughts trickled through his mind as he sat there, stewing. 

Ieyasu had money and titles. Keiji had nothing. Could he really blame Tomoyo for choosing more wisely? His emotions ran a wild track through his heart. He was so caught up in them that he almost didn’t notice when Tomoyo took a box from the tea shop owner and left with Ieyasu in tow.

Keiji pulled himself together enough to ask after what she bought. A box of bean paste dumplings, apparently. The dango she asked for were not one of her favorite foods, Keiji knew. He wondered darkly if they were Ieyasu’s favorites. He left the teashop in a funk, still trailing after his lady love.

It seemed her day out with Ieyasu was drawing to a close. They went to Ieyasu’s manor. Still chatting and talking as they went in and the door closed behind them. Across from the manor, in a narrow alley, Keiji stared at the closed door. His heart was pounding with jealous passion but he wasn’t sure what he ought to do.

He couldn’t just charge in. Such disrespect to an Oda alliance member, one with higher standing than him, would be disastrous. Keiji took a deep breath, steadying himself. It wouldn’t be that hard to sneak into the manor. He could figure out what room they were in and then listen from a window or even slip into the ceiling to spy from above. 

The job turned out even easier than he expected. Ieyasu’s office was on the first floor, with a wide garden window. And that was where the two of them were. He was somewhat relieved to note it was not where Ieyasu slept. And there was no futon or cushioned couch for them to - to - he cut that thought off before it finished. From where he crouched, he couldn’t see them very well, but he could hear everything.

Tomoyo was giggling, while Ieyasu’s low voice scolded her. 

“You really don’t take care of yourself,” the blonde griped.

“I do too!”

“Then why ask me about this? Didn’t you promise me -”

“I know, I know.” Tomoyo wasn’t giggling now. She sighed. “Look, I meant to but I got busy.”

“Busy like we were today?” Ieyasu’s voice was sharp and bitter. 

Keiji wasn’t sure what they were talking about. What was this and why was Ieyasu so sour right now?

“Maybe? Don’t be so grouchy about it. There’s nothing wrong with spending the day shopping. Surely you had just a little fun?”

 “Fine. Yes. Now don’t look at me like that. Just . . . undo your obi. Let’s get this over with.” Ieyasu sighed heavily.

There was a rustling of cloth and Tomoyo’s voice, breathless. “Thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet. Just hold still. I’ll be quick so pay attention.”

Tomoyo gasped and Keiji’s heart sank even lower. “That’s so cold! Why is it always cold?”

“I could hold it in my hands to warm it up first,” Ieyasu grumbled. 

Keiji strained to peek over the window sill. He had to see what was happening, but if he could see them, they would be able to see him. He just couldn’t manage. All he could do was listen.

“That would be nice of you.”

“Here. You warm it up then.”

More sounds of cloth rustling, wood creaking. Then another breathy gasp. “Ah! Much better when it’s warmer.”

“Whatever. Just stop wriggling.” 

Tomoyo tsked. “I wasn’t wriggling! Anyway, thank you for this. It helps a lot.”

“Good.” Ieyasu paused. “You know . . . I really did enjoy today. With you.”

“I had fun too.” 

Another sigh, this one just as heavy as the last. “We could have more days. Like this. The two of us.”

Tomoyo laughed softly. “Of course we can. We’re friends, right? We can hang out whenever you like.” 

“Friends.” The way Ieyasu said it made it a barb. 

“Yes. Friends. I care about you, Ieyasu. Very much. You are dear to me and I like spending time with you.” Tomoyo’s words next were faint, barely audible from where Keiji was eavesdropping. “You’re very sweet and for the right girl . . . Oh Ieyasu . . . you are going to make her so happy.” 

Ieyasu took a short, pained breath. “I - I need to check on something.”

Keiji wanted to climb through the window and lift Tomoyo up and kiss her breathless. But he thought she might be a tad angry that he’d been spying on her. He slipped away, almost humming with happiness. 

He felt giddy, almost as if he was drunk from hearing her confession. Silly for ever having doubted her. Foolish for being jealous of poor Ieyasu. And lucky. Damn lucky. A man like him did not deserve a woman like her, but she’d picked him anyway.

Tomoyo came home a little while later, looking pleased if tired. The moment she came through the castle gate, Keiji was on her. His big hands wrapped around her waist and he spun her in the air, before pulling her close for a hug. 

She gave a squeal of surprise and then her arms were around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair. She loved to tug it loose from his bun. 

He kissed her, unrestrained and passionate. Her lips were soft as satin, playfully yielding to his hunger. Her teasing tongue pushed into his mouth. Keiji growled low in his throat, suddenly feeling more than just glad to see her. His hands slid slower, caressing her firm rear and the backs of her thighs. 

Tomoyo broke the kiss with a gasp. “Keiji! What if someone sees us?”

“Then someone sees.” He kissed her again, delighted with the way her body responded to his touch. Eager, despite her protest. Her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands clutched at his shoulders. “Let’s take this to our room,” he said hoarsely, not entirely sure he could make it but certain he would die from wanting her if he didn’t.

She laughed, high and sweet and breathless. “What did I do to deserve such a welcome home?”

“You don’t need to do anything. I just love you.” 

Tomoyo’s cheeks heated and she looked away, as if she could pretend to be demure when her thighs were gripping his hips as they were now. 

“No need to be bashful, princess.” He nuzzled the sensitive spot on her neck, just below her left ear. 

Keiji shut the door behind them with his foot, his hands were entirely too full of Tomoyo and there was no way he was letting her down. Not yet. He used his mouth to start untying her kimono, which made her laugh again. 

“Are you so eager? You know this would be faster if you put me down?”

“Who says I want it to be faster?” He grinned. Then with sensual slowness, he tugged the tie loose and began placing kisses along her now-exposed collarbone. There was a smell there, something new. It was sharper than her usual perfume, and something about it reminded him of summer. He pressed his face closer, and used his tongue to taste her skin. 

Tomoyo giggled. “What - what are you doing?”

“Mmmm trying out this new . . . flavor . . .” It was an oil, he decided. Something herbal. He traced the light application of it across her collarbone and flipped her around to kiss down the expanse of her back. 

“K-Keiji! Th-that’s my lotion!” She wriggled deliciously in his arms. 

He pressed close against her and nipped the lobe of her ear. “Tastes pretty good.”

She made a little pleased gasp of pleasure as he began to massage her shoulders and back with his large, calloused hands. Her kimono fell to her waist. “O-oh, that’s . . . mmmm . . . yes . . .” 

He could see now where Ieyasu had applied this new ointment. “What is it for, princess?”

“Hm? What?” She blinked at him over her shoulder, lost in the feel of his hands on her. 

“The lotion.”

Tomoyo smiled. “Supposed to help. With. The stiffness. From . . . spear . . . training.” 

“You know, I could probably help you apply it. If you need some help to put it on your back.” He used his thumbs to gently work out the tension along her spine.

“Y-yeah. Ok.” She took a shivering breath as his hands moved to her lower back. Her hips were pushed back against his and all Keiji could think about was how much better this would be if both of them lost the rest of their clothes. She must have been thinking the same, because she undid her obi and the ties on her hakama, letting everything puddle to the floor at her feet. 

It wasn’t the first time Keiji saw her naked. Nor the fifth or even the fifteenth. But every time he found himself in awe. She was gorgeous. The round swell of her hip, the little dimple on her right ass cheek, the turn of her thigh and calf . . . he wanted to kiss every bit. Caress and hold her. He ran a finger lightly down her side. “You’re beautiful.”

He could not keep his voice from cracking on the compliment. The raw passion he felt for her was more than a simple word could encompass. Keiji wanted to love her and to make love to her, to drown himself in everything that was her until Tomoyo was all he could taste and touch and see. 

“When you look at me like that, I feel like I must be,” she said softly. 

“I’ll have to do a better job of letting you know.” He placed a kiss on her low back and let his lips trail down lower. “If you only feel like that now . . . I must not show you enough.” Keiji gently turned her back over. His lips brushed the line of her pelvic bone. 

She arched into his touch, her breathing thready and rapid. “Sh-show? Me?”

He wasn’t sure if it was a question or a request. To be fair though, he didn’t care. He wanted her so badly now that he almost shook with the need. Like an addict in sight of his fix, the answer in his grasp. At the tip of his tongue, both literally and figuratively. 

Keiji forced himself to go slow. To savor the feel of her heat against his mouth, the satin of her thighs trapping his head between them. Holding him in place, her heels pushing him in and urging him on as if her throaty cries were not enough encouragement. His world shrunk to the music of her pleasure, his own heartbeat, the slick sweet taste of her. 

Like music or poetry, there was a rhythm to this. An art. To read the instrument and audience of one, to know when and how to quicken the pace or slow it down. And when he’d teased enough. 

Her legs tensed and her heels dug hard into his back. Tomoyo’s hips rocked forward, until he could not breathe for being bound in her. Not that he minded - this was how a man could die happy - besides which, the tension lasted only a moment before she found release. His name on her lips, her body quaking with pleasure. 

Keiji could not suppress smug satisfaction at her undoing. “I hope that wasn’t too much, princess. Because I have a whole night planned.” 

“Not . . . even . . . close,” she breathed. “It’s my turn next.”

[sternenwaisin]

I’m rewatching card captor Sakura and it makes me so sad for so many characters.

Like tomoyo who is obviously in love with Sakura??? And tomoyos mum who was in love with sakuras mum AND THEN THE MUM DIED???? BUT BOTH ENDED UP WITH SOME DUDE. (Okk let’s look away that they are cousins and Second cousins)

I’m so heartbroken watching it back. Especially for Tomoyos family.

This anime was my first interaction with gay people and that you can love and be soulmates with everyone without caring about gender (NOT AGE!!! LETS NOT TALK ABOUT THOSE WEIRD CANON RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS)

Yukito and touya my beloved, I still hate that they made yukito this weird magical angel thing. Why couldn’t he be just human.

[aloe-note]

Land of the Lustrous (anime) – Episode 1

3d is really the only way this anime could have been produced. the shine and texture of the gems is so important to the story's identity, and 3d enables studio orange to deliver that consistently.

look at the green light refracting onto phos's shoulder here. you wouldn't do that with 2d. you could, but you wouldn't. it'd take too much time.

the main appeal of an anime adaptation is seeing a work in motion and color. but lotl has a problem: ichikawa haruko's artwork already has amazing motion and color despite being still black and white images. the anime adaptation needs to find other ways to stand out from its source.

it achieves this well in adding sound. the foley work is excellent. from the first moment phos moves, the clinking sounds signal the material of their body. the voice acting is also great (kurosawa tomoyo my beloved). the score so far is good but i haven't had moments where it really hooked me. there is that one song reminiscent of a part of the spirited away ost, though my drawing that comparison is mainly cause of the sheer number of times i've seen that movie. anyhow.

[pixsaladpit]

CCS AU

CARDCAPTOR SAKURA WWW MY CHILDHOOD BELOVED <333

anwyays what if ccs / pixsalad au.

Jamdeul plays the role of Sakura.

Gonglyong plays the role of Kero.

Uhhh Radar as Syaoran.

Suhyen, Gakbyeol, Duckgae as classmates. Ggumong and Yuseong in the background probably.

I completely forgot Tomoyo existed- Suhyen as Tomoyo (finds out Jamdeul is magical girl)

Mapple as Eriol.

Pakeumo as Spinny (Spinel)

I forgot Yue also existed

its been so long hold on

-- Jamdeul is a ordinary choir kid who accidentally releases a bunch of Clow Cards and was forced to become a magical girl.

-- Jamdeul would be looking for a book about minecraft or something when a heavy book bonks her in the head. Turns out Gonglyong was rolling in his sleep and fell, and technically making it his fault that Jamdeul has to collect the cards.

do you see my vision. my grand vision with this shitty drawing i speedran in 15 minutes on sketchpad with a mouse.

key form's just whale holding a key

another shitty doodle, less rush this time

Jamdeul's wearing a cape btw

-- gonglyong: mhm yes magical girls should look like magical girls.

jamdeul gets sailor outfit :D

i got distracted while doodling what happened

oh yeah expandign the universe

so

-- gonna give pakeumo and gonglyong animal/creature forms but also human forms.

-- my idea bin's dry

so

[completeoveranalysis]

[4]

And Tomoyo just whips it out immediately, because she knew he was going to bring it up in this conversation. Not even as a seer, because she can't do that anymore - just because she knows him so well.

AND OH THAT FINAL PANEL, WITH KUROGANE REFLECTED IN TOMOYO’S EYES. AMAZING. BEAUTIFUL. 

Also the SECOND funniest way to tie the theme of doubles into Kurogane’s plot - there are just… two of him when reflected in someone’s eyes. 

I WILL TAKE IT. THANK YOU CLAMP.

The fact that Kurogane is surprised to see it is SUCH a nice touch. Even though he had a copy of it for such a long time, this is the ACTUAL link to his family. This is the ACTUAL symbol of his past and everything his family legacy means. It's not just a memory anymore - it's sitting right here in front of him, carefully wrapped up and cared for all this time.

It's the final stage in Kurogane's backstory coming back around. It's the continuation of the exact conversation they had in this exact room about this exact sword all those years ago. It's Kurogane finally returning home, not to be with Tomoyo as he once thought, but to continue the promise he made to his family all those years ago, and to take down the man who slaughtered everyone he loved.

It's, once again, everything coming full circle.

Proof that Tomoyo is the best: SHE EVEN PROVIDED THE FLASHBACKS TO THE EXACT SCENE I WENT LOOKING FOR.

THANK YOU TOMOYO, MY BELOVED. If I did not just hunt this down moments ago this would have been the EXACT context I needed.

That aside, Tomoyo pulling a “So I kept it” is infinitely funny to me and this is such a good turn of events. 

It turns out that Kurogane’s mother foresaw certain future events and ALSO prepared for them ahead of time. 

Or at least that would fit the pattern of every other seer we have in the series. It’s possible she didn’t foresee anything at all and she just talked to Tomoyo as a general precaution, but either way! Here we are!

[houkagokappa]

The new season of anime is starting and I'm not doing too hot on the previous one. I ended up picking up Undead Girl Murder Farce, because I liked the vibes, the style, it has Tomoyo Kurosawa in it and it's by Lapin Track my beloved. I've only seen one episode though, I haven't had time for more and I wanted to catch up with Zom 100: Zombie ni Naru made ni Shitai 100 no Koto first. It had a great, energetic, stylish and fun first episode. I thought it was funny and somewhat fresh how a zombie apocalypse was the best thing that happened to Akira, our overworked protagonist, as it allows him to live freely. (Also, the colored blood does things to me). Then, halfway through I started to get tired of some of the jokes and clichés, and now it's stuck in production hell so it's not on me to finish it on time. Lastly, I picked up Watashi no Shiawase na Kekkon due to the promise of pretty kimono and a touching story. The kimono are indeed pretty, and I was impressed by the variation and amount of detail on them. I like the protagonist Miyo, although she could've easily been an overly tragic character, there's some realism to her. Surprisingly I also like her relationship with Kiyoka, he is so gentle and supportive of her. The magic stuff however, has been disappointing and I'm in no rush to finish the series (I'm currently on episode 8). Lately I haven't been in the mood for anime that much, and I've been quite busy/away from home and it's been too much effort to keep up with it any more than this.

[bmpmp3]

i often, with very little seriousness, say that i prefer to read shoujo, josei, and the occasional seinen manga over anything from shounen magazines because even if they take a turn in quality, at least they will End within my lifetime HFKJSDHKDSHFD and this really is a joke: mostly as a way to combat the last 15 years of shounen elitists coming at me for liking things published in different magazines while also, in a slightly self deprecating way, pointing out how a lot of series in other magazine demographics usually either end at a natural stopping point or get canned unceremoniously with no conclusion (although shounen magazines are no stranger to the latter either LOL the nature of magazine publishing........) compared to just going on for hundreds of chapters after the quality took a nosedive

but make no mistake, despite how a lot (and i mean a LOT) of shoujosei is cancelled early before it can really start to get bad (or it gets trapped in an eternal hiatus because of magazine changes, or it just ends normally LOL), there are still plenty of series that went on way too long or struggled because of their length. some are worse than others: i remember Special A being solid but with a serious plateauing problem in like the latter half where it felt stagnant and boring (albeit not egregious or anger inducing or anything). but then theres other stuff like. hkjfdajhkgrlfjd. Peach Girl my beloved and beloathed <3 HHRJKFJRFEd and dont even talk to me about Vampire Knight or Black Bird. don't even say those words to me

and of course getting cancelled early can also give a series a great opportunity to fumble the bag horrendously in 3 chapters or less: one of my favourite shoujo manga of all time, Penguin Revolution, has an absolutely hilarious last chapter in that you can feel how much the author was like "SHIT FUCK I NEED TO WRAP THINGS UP RIGHT NOW" so hard that i cant even be mad about it LOL

and with that as a preamble: last night i finished reading A Devil and Her Love Song/Akuma to Love Song and well. um.,

quick TW: because of the topics that the manga touches on, I am going to talk a little bit about sexual assault, specifically sexual assault of a minor, and suicide. i will do it somewhat frankly because i want to take it seriously and not beat around the bush and i will do my best, but feel free to let me know if im off-base

SO the first half of the series is really solid, specifically with the characters. Maria in the beginning, especially with the bullying arc, was really engaging as someone so (intentionally or otherwise) neurodivergently coded. and The Boys: Shin and Yusuke were also really strong - moreso on Yusuke's end as like, a foil to Maria's complete inability to mask, Yusuke is like the king of masking. but even Shin, despite everything that comes later (and we'll get to that. by god we will get to that) was also interesting as like a foil in a different direction: a person resigned to his loneliness compared to Maria's drive to connect despite her struggles. And despite how sidelined the girls get, in theory I really loved Ayu and Tomoyo's connection to Maria and the whole squad as well (can't help but love a mean girl redeemed and a shy but secret goth kid respectively)

the series starts to take a turn for the worse after the new school bullying storyline and into the beginning of the Anna Situation. im gonna refer to this Anna, the friend of Maria's from her old catholic school who lost her voice as Anna (friend). it seems clunky but we'll come back to that LOL

i actually didn't hate the whole situation, i found Anna pretty compelling in her anger and resentment and even cruelty, and i was invested in seeing how her relationship with Maria would pan out. unfortunately she herself was basically forgotten about after she moves away to america and instead a lot of the situation was spent focusing on Shin's turmoil which was where his character started to. test me.

this is where Maria's backstory with her mother comes in: maria was born from the rape of her 14 year old mother, who then committed suicide with a preschooler Maria in her arms because of the turmoil and the way she and Maria were treated in the aftermath. this is. an absolutely unreal turn. really fucking dark and tough topic, but i had an inkling of hope! the series was handling its first like, 30 chapters with a surprising amount of care despite some clumsiness...

and the thing is i love a lot of stories that attempt to handle dark topics in loud, fumbling ways as long as theres a sense of compassion and honesty in it you know? and compassion and honest really is the thing, i actually prefer a messy but earnest story about dark and sad events compared to something that knows all the correct words to say while still dancing around serious topics (this is a problem i run into often in recent years. i think its a selfconciousness in storytelling that makes me feel like im being talked down to you know?)

but there is a difference between fumbling a bit an dropping the ball entirely. and MAN that ball was dropped HARD when you bring in the american soldier kidnapper and rapist of the main character's middleschool aged mother and try to turn him into some "redeemed" priest goofy crybaby dad character for the main character to forgive and reconnect with. but we'll get to that, i need to get back to shin

Shin learns from Anna (friend) about Maria's past and how Maria had forgotten it all because of the trauma, but may remember when she's held by others. not wanting to retraumatize her, and believing not remembering her past is what's best for her, he starts distancing himself from her. he also tells the other boys, the blonde bitches (Yusuke and Kurosu (we'll get to him later i prommy)) that have a crush on Maria as well about this, essentially deciding for Maria that she should never learn her past and attempting to control her relationships with other boys behind her back. THIS is intensely possessive and paternalistic WHICH in a vacuum COULD BE a really interesting, dark, but prescient and complex major character flaw to explore (especially in a story written for young women and girls like a manga serialized in Margaret would be). unfortunately the story never grapples with it, its framed like your classic possessive-but-like-in-a-sexy-fantasy-way despite being written in an incredibly embarassing and pathetic manner

like dear GOD i wanted nothing more than him to get some sense knocked into him by the blonde bitches. i LOVE a good character arc where a shojo manga love interest with possessive tendencies learns to respect his gf's autonomy its a classic!! especially with Maria's past, learning that helping someone with trauma means being there for her, not controlling her life behind her back! so much potential there

but alas. all we got was Shin hiding in the shadows from Maria for several volumes until, during an argument where Maria remembers her past and has a panic attack, he attempts to force himself on her and gets his hand hurt in the process. and. god. this is a shojo manga trope i Do Not Care For, honestly it is one of the few things that'll sour me complete on something:

the plotline where through a series of very bizarre circumstances the main love interest will sexually assault (or attempt to) the main character and then get really mopey about it (ouuhhhh im the baad guy how could i do thisssss i feel so sorrrrrrry for myself) and then the narrative will bend over backwards to say that UMMM ACTUALLY its okay the main character wasn't upset about that! it was something else! she didn't think it was rape!! she's cool with it!!! don't feel bad love interest guy!!! LITERALLY i hate it so much. the next several volumes spends so much time on Shin trying to make him feel better about his hand injury and how everything he did was okay because Maria loves him and it was PAINFUL so so frustrating

which brings me to the other guys, the blond bitches. Yusuke is mvp we know this, especially in the early volumes. but after he realized maria's in love with Shin no matter what and he has no chance, he also becomes frustrating because all his edges get sanded off, he's still a wonderful friend to Maria (although he unfortunately drinks Shin's koolaid and also hides her past from her) but he completely stops pushing Shin to be better which makes both characters worse. he was so interesting as the king of masking, such a relatable character type but MAN things went downhill

earlier in the series before Shin tries to push himself on Maria and I was still a bit sympathetic to him, i was thinking like damn. Maria should just get with Shin because she likes him but also setup a polycule where the two blonde bitches can orbit around and keep shin in check LOL

and kurosu. im going back to kurosu finally. a third anime boy has hit the love triangle. hes contentious for very valid reasons but the thing is. i kinda liked him? OKAY okay he has serious SERIOUS personal space issues which were played a little too much for laughs and we'll get to his relationship with Maria's father in a moment but i couldnt help but relate to a big dumb seemingly outgoing but still distant kid who talks too much about horny shit. Yusuke is just like me fr but. also. Kurosu is just like me (idiot highschooler edition) frrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry i do see a bit of myself in him. hell i even see a bit of myself (dumb possessive middleschooler edition) in the earlier versions of Shin (before you know. he went off the rails), and i think thats whats so frustrating: these characters start with ideas that are ALMOST relatable and intriguing character flaws and then it just descends into madness

and back on kurosu's relationship with Maria's biological father, it is pretty fucked that he hides the fact that he knows Maria is the daughter of the child his adoptive father figure raped for so long, and its especially fucked he brought Maria to the church where maria's bio dad is now a priest taking care of orphans as like a way to "reunite" them and show that "he's changed" and such, but this is really a problem less with the characters and more with the way the story's themes are coalescing in general. The character of Kurosu himself was quite interesting as like a foil to the foils of maria and yusuke, simultaneously really good at masking while also not being good at ALL. and I loved that he got on Shin's case to stop being so possessive and weird about maria. And not to be all "he's literally neurodivergent and a minor" but i can't get all that mad at a 15 year old who (as revealed really quickly in a random chapter near the end) who had to leave his abusive father and scared abused mother under really traumatic circumstances and then suddenly was taken in by a seemingly kind priest trying so hard to defend said priest. i think theres something very compelling and emotionally resonant there: grappling with the the fact that someone you love, someone who treats you with such kindness, someone who you think saved you even, could have been so cruel to your other loved ones.

i know i have a bajillion experiences like that (much smaller scale things like finding out a person who was nice to u is bullying others, or more serious things. im sure im not the only one who's got crazy shit happening with cousins and aunties and uncles and such). like it changes things: you can't just sit idle about it, but you also don't have the authority to confront anyone, you can't go back to the way things were before and there's an irreparable distance between you, but you don't know how to move forward other than letting that distance grow. I think theres something here!!! but unfortunately, the series as a whole was largely uninterested with anything other than turning the main character's mother's rapist into a doting father type character out of nowhere, treating the aforementioned rape as if it was just a little "mistake"

when i read or watch something and i have a very strong reaction to it, good or bad, i often like to look at reviews afterwards. a lot of people seem to think theres no reason to look at reviews if you already have your own opinion, but i personally find them really helpful to get new perspectives and sometimes find catharsis with others with similar perspectives to mind. and so i was looking at some fan reviews and this review's first line killed me

THEYRE NOT WRONG the full sentence is "This story really reminds me of Usagi Drop, just for the way that the ending butchers my enjoyment fo the entire series" which is VERY true, but also its very true more specifically n the sense of WHY on gods green earth is this series trying to frame the rape of a young teenager as a romantic thing (albeit in akuma to love song's case the circumstances are less grooming and more violence, which just makes it bizarre in a different way). but this person's review is great, it just puts the problems with the series in such a succinct way: it swiftly turns from a decent little drama about teenagers learning to grapple with communication into Rape Apologia: The Manga.

all in all i think the big problem with akuma to love song is how much the story is just uninterested in the topics it brings up. its not a matter of taking on tough subject matter and handling it in a slightly clumsy way, its a matter of taking on tough subject matter and then trying to tie it all up in a neat little black and white bow. the series best part of the series, which is kind of seen in the section where all the kids go to the beach together, is when the characters try to learn to communicate and be honest with eachother despite their difficulties. but that was forgotten and thrown away for some very bizarrely cruel melodrama, brushing aside one of the biggest victims: Anna (mother), the girl who was assaulted and the abandoned by all her loved ones in the process. a teenage girl alone with just a toddler. a character the series had no interest in, not her life or thoughts or agency. really depressing

also yeah maria's teenage mother has the same name (and looks???) as one of her former best friends. and you know. thats what got me kind of thinking. with how much Anna (friend) was like completely forgotten about. i honestly wonder how the writing for this series went. this is why ive been so frustrated after all, its highs are so good but its lows are so so SO disastrous. it appears to have been in a biweekly version of Margaret, im unsure if it was published in every issue though. if it was, maybe rushing to get out something every two weeks was in part to blame for how downhill the writing got? i dont think manga should be published more than once a month at most, i think its unethical working conditions for the sake of a worse product and its bad for everyone involved.

and i know its not really considered standard in art and media criticism to focus so much on the working conditions and mindset the author was in while creating. looking at art as itself divorced from its circumstances and death of the author (as in the actual essay meaning like the author is not god and the intended interpretation is no more or less important than the audiences) and so on and so forth. but i can't help it ive always been like this LOL if something bad i wonder how the creator felt creating it....

but anyway. now. one thing i will give the series: they did not randomly pair off the remaining ensemble cast at the end. one thing about shoujo manga, especially from the 2000s is that if there are an equal number of boys and girls, they will be unceremoniously split into couples by the end regardless of how compatible they are HJKDLDHFJKD i was so scared when i realized there were three boys and maria had two gal pals. i was so scared. but we were spared from that at least orz

i do want you to know something though. despite all my criticism, the thing about this all: i love garbage. i love trash. i will read like anything even if its bad as long as i think i can get SOMETHING out of it. even if that something is just "wow that was bad". do you remember the aforementioned Black Bird? what did i get out of that? i dunno, probably just something absolutely crazy to read in a public library as a 17 year old LOL. i love garbage melodramatic soap opera bullshit so much

but i think what frustrated me so much about akuma to love song, as mentioned before, is that it was like. genuinely really good! in some parts! its the potential that is killing me i think. its one thing to read some big dumb and questionable melodrama knowing what youre getting into in the first few chapters, and its another thing to start out written with such emotional intelligence only to take a complete and utter nosedive so dramatically

is this how shounen manga readers feel all the time. dear god.

but well. i guess i still got something out of 90 chapters of this. a really strong start. some good art. and a what-not-to-do manual for the latter half

[ladyinfierno]

so i'm a bit sick at the moment and rewatching old series to cheer me up, and i'm stupidly fangirling over old ships and remembering how much i loved li syaoran