#THIS WEEK? NEXT WEEK… idk there’s never not a day to post lesbians

[smokbeast]

I can’t remember the last time I posted merl,, but a silly of merl and her bitty,,

Petal motti bitty belongs to @mothiepixie ;w; <3333

[elliereject]

ifhy .2

* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.

* lowkey obsessive ellie, ellie beats someone up, angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!

* HELLLLLOOOO!? oh my god 100 likes on part 1 and over 100 followers??? ty? so much?? <3 the next parts almost done so I gotta tweak some things but I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I meant to post this like 2 days ago but I fell asleep editing…

* mdni

* wc ~ smth like 1.8k

pt .1 here ★ pt .3 coming soon

“Are you seriously wearing that?” You sighed, flopping back on Ellie’s twin bed.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Ellie asked, eyeing her worn skinny jeans and a black oversized hoodie.

“First, there’s a hole in the side of your hood. Second, you wore that 3 times this week already.”

“No, I didn’t. These are different jeans!”

You groaned, “Ellie it’s a party, live a little.”

She let out a small laugh, “Says you, you were literally on the verge of throwing up like 5 minutes ago. Did whatshisname text you?”

She crossed her fingers in hope that he hadn’t.

You rolled your eyes, “You know his name, and he said he got there about 20 minutes ago and’ll meet me near the living room.”

“Cool, cool.” She said stiffly. “We should probably get going then.”

You jumped up from the bed, practically skipping over to the door. “Finally, you take a surprisingly long time to get ready.”

She didn’t. She was just trying to drag out the amount of time she had before she saw you clinging to your boyfriend and laughing at his stupid jokes.

She was still trying to find a way to show you that he was a dick and she was what you needed but all the ideas she had ended up with him dead and while she was considering it, you probably would have a hard time forgiving her.

The two of you trekked down to the elevator and while your back was turned she couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to slip her hand into yours. How would you react? Would you recoil? Or would you squeeze her palm? Ellie was never really a touchy person yet she made some exceptions when it came to you, however nothing as intimate as hand holding.

And something screamed at her, begging her to try. Her fingers itched by her leg and before she knew it she was stretching out her arm.

Close…so close she could feel the warmth radiating off you.

In a moment you whipped around and she didn’t have enough time to retract her hand.

“What are you doing?” You asked, tilting your head in a way that made her heart ache.

“You just had a uh– a piece of lint.” She lied easily as she picked nothing off your sleeve.

“Oh, thanks! Easier to get rid of then a hole, huh?” You let out a giggle and stuck your finger through said hole, she forced a laugh.

The rest of the ride down Ellie urged herself not to have any more daring thoughts.

Once down, you cracked jokes about your professor and weirdos in your classes, and Ellie tried her best to laugh along, all the way to the frat where the party was being held. Once you made it, you shoved past the sweaty bodies in the living room to look for your boyfriend whilst Ellie shrunk into the kitchen to confide chat with Jesse who was busy chugging a twisted lemonade.

“Jesse. I want you to thank God you aren’t a lesbian.” Ellie groaned, pulling the drink from his lips and taking a swig herself.

“Shit. What happened now?” He sighed, reaching past Ellie to grab another. Ellie’s been moping about you to Jesse for a while now, although he doesn’t really know it’s you because she doesn’t wanna fuck up the way her friends view your guys’ relationship.

“I was walking behind her earlier before we got into the elevat— classroom. And I was like 5 seconds away from grabbing her hand.”

“And why’s that a bad thing? I thought you liked her.” He asked in between sips.

“Because she has a fucking boyfriend! And that would’ve been so embarrassing I think I would’ve bit off my tongue and killed my self right there.”

Jesse let out a low whistle and Ellie crossed her arms. “Don’t you have any advice for me, or are you just gonna stand there?”

The man shrugged, “You’re not gonna like what I have to tell you. Have you tried talking to Joel about any of this?”

Ellie shook her head with a sigh, “He’s busy with work as is, I don’t wanna bother him with this shit when I barely even get to talk to him.”

“Well then, you should prob—hey! ★ what’s up?”

Their conversation was cut short as you walked into the crowded kitchen. With no luck in the living room, you decided to retreat there to talk with your friends while periodically checking your phone for any missed calls or texts.

Ellie noticed the worried look on your face. “Hey, hey. He’ll call. And if he doesn’t he’s a fucking idiot.”

She urged you to try and live in the moment and reassured you again that’d he’d call soon, even though she hoped and prayed he didn’t.

You gave her a small smile and muttered “I guess.” Before taking the red solo cup she offered you and downing it. Eventually, Dina joined your little trio and you temporarily forgot all about him since you were having so much fun chatting with your friends.

Ellie, still smiling, excused herself to the washroom after announcing she had to piss and thank god she did because the scene she stumbled upon literally made her laugh with joy. She had been looking for a reason to beat the fuck out of your boyfriend and did she find it.

After mistaking one of the bedrooms for the washroom—since every fucking door in that house looked the same—her eyes immediately landed on the familiar lanky figure who was shacking up with some tiny brunette bitch.

“No fucking way!” She guffawed, completely amused.

“Please, it’s not—“ Your boyfriend started, pulling his lips from the girl and straightening out his shirt.

“I’ve been looking for a reason to beat your sorry ass! This is just perfect.” She laughed manically as she stomped into the room, slamming the door behind her and cracking her knuckles.

The girl he was previously with was shaken to her core, and practically sprinted out of there. Before he could get out another word, Ellie’s fist was already crushing his face.

“You dick, God I knew you were an asshole but this is just—wow! Cheating on her when she is most definitely the best you could ever do?” Another punch and he was on the ground.

Blood was leaking from his nose and his lip was split. Suddenly she was on top of him, her fists flying. His glasses were broken and tears ran down his face pathetically.

She’d bottled up her emotions for so long; her love for you, her jealousy towards him, her anger at the entire situation, that it all muddled together and bursted the bottle, sending shards everywhere.

Ellie has always been an innately intense person, but this, pummelling something that deserved it, someone that she’d been fantasizing about beating the shit out of ever since she’d met them. It felt good.

“Pl-please stop.” He begged, and she halted her fists, but only for a moment.

She scoffed. “Stop? Stop. Man, I should rip your tongue out. Maybe that’ll finally shut you up.”

His eyes widened as he scanned her eyes for any sign of sympathy, of mercy, but all he found was icy green.

“You’re fucking crazy!” He shouted, trying and failing to shimmy her off him.

She shrugged, “Maybe.”

She was about to throw another fist but she heard frantic footsteps speeding toward the room.

“Shit..” She tapped the side of the guy’s face harshly as he was beginning to black out. “Listen, you’re going to get up. Hop out the window and take your ass home, if someone asks what happened say you got jumped. You’re not going to look at ★ again, text her, call, or even breathe near her. Transfer out of her classes and if I even get the idea that you’re thinking of contacting her again, I will find you. And I will rip your tongue out, got it?”

He nodded wildly and she finally got off of him. She watched as he scurried toward the window and hopped out, it was only a few feet, he’d live.

Ellie wiped her stained hands on the inside of her sweater and opened the door just as the brunette from before was about to, she was standing next to one of the frat guys.

“What’s going on?” Ellie said easily, putting a charming smile on her face and hiding her hands in her pocket.

“Where is he?” The brunette asked worriedly.

“Who? It’s just me in here.” Ellie said looking around confused.

The frat boy looked behind Ellie and them at the girl before sighing and turning back around, “Don’t bother me again. Just enjoy the party.”

“B-but—“ She immediately shut up when Ellie shot her a malicious glare.

She strolled out of the room and back toward the main floor to see you sulking on the couch, checking your phone.

“What happened?” She asked, sliding next to you and resting her arm behind you on the cushions.

“He still hasn’t answered.” You pouted.

And for the first time in months she shot you a genuine smile, despite the fact you were talking about him. “I wouldn’t worry about it, don’t think you’ll hear from him anytime soon.”

You smiled at her and she shot you a weird look, “What?” she asked.

“Nothing..you just seem a little happier than usual.” You said, leaning into her arm.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

tagz ଳ (send me a message to be added!)

@bready101

[henarikat]

Can you tell us more about your farmer? What is she like how does she meet mr qi how do they fall in love? Tell us everything!!!!

Omg the girl of all time?? You want to hear about my silly little guy?? And her blue man aaaaaa??? I have suddenly forgotten all of the lore I've ever conceived for them oh my goodness but um uh.... i will put it under a spoiler bc it'll probably be dumb and ramblyyyyy and I will absolutely regret posting in 5 seconds if I don't lmao

I guess, her dad is like the CEO of Joja or whatever, some really intense and high-up position. Idk anything about corporations. And he gets her a job after she graduates from college, she has some "dumb" (by his standards) artsy degree that he deems relevant enough to give her a very easy but very high-paying receptionist job. She doesn't have to do anything except for field calls and usually customers don't make it that far calling, so it's usually like... business deals or something. She also has to get donuts and lunch and coffee for the office, which, whatever. And anyway, she meets this guy and he seems cool. He works for her dad and he gets,,, close to her. And she gets,,, close to him. And anyway, it turns out he was using her for like, access to her dad/insider information about the company and then the night he dramatically breaks up with her, she feels like a FOOL and she cannot go back to work the next day. She remembers her dead grandfather's farm and the deed he sent her, so she spends the night packing up her things and leaves for the train station first thing in the morning, no word to anyone!!!! Obviously her dad is SO MAD and he just like... pulls her inheritance? Is that a thing that happens? Idk. And anyway, he doesn't talk to her ever again. She is very depressed when she gets to the valley and she's used to drinking every weekend in zuzu so she... kind of... drinks a lot?? every day?? she gets really close with shane, and they hook up once just before his heart event on the cliffs and after that, they both decide they're better off as friends, at least until they can both get clean. joja ends up firing him because he's so sick after he stops drinking and she hires him to work for her and pays him what he made a joja in a week for just a day's worth of work, so it's beneficial for him! She makes friends with Leah also because they both love art and Leah also majored in the same silly thing that Nora did and funny enough, that guy that Nora "dated" was Leah's ex. Crazy world we live in. Uhhhh and no one really has any romantic interest in Nora, they all sort of pair themselves up with each other?? Harvey has a silly crush on her (bc I hc Maru to be sort of an acespec lesbian in Nora's world), but she is not interested and doesn't want to break harveys strict doctor/patient rule anyway, even if she were. Uh and then 5 years into her stay in the valley, she gets a package with a note attached. I am a hopeless romantic, personallyyyyyy, so like, in my HC Mr Qi never sent her on any quests. He saw her on his screens when she arrived in the valley and he was like oh....ok um wow ok she's going to ruin my life cool cool cooooool. he was so infatuated with her aaaaaa. he never sent her on the quest for the battery or the rainbow shell for his club card, he didn't wait for her on floor 100 in the skull caverns. he coooouldn't. he tried to distract himself with flings, but even still, he could not stop thinking of her. so finally, he invited her to the casino to meet him. he sent her a gorgeous fitted gown and shoes and flowers and!!! and she came!! to meet him! and she was not scared of him or intimidated by him (she didn't even know who he was to be fair) and she thought he was cuuuuute aaaa. and I made up some heart events for him and them and I just!! they're my silly guys they mean everything to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And anyway here is a really cheesy dumb art I drew also because I’m stupid and I love them 😩

[lantanasmuttyfanfics]

Can you please do cerise x Maddie smut please 🥺🙏 thank you

Abrupt ending and not that much smut at all sorry to say it’s because idk how to write lesbian smut and second I’m trying to fit in writing around my studying schedule

Anyway I’ll be posting the Dizzie survey in two days and it will be up for a week so make sure to vote to get the fic you want

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

——————————

In the enchanted woods, the air was thick with the scent of pine and mischief. Cerise Hood leaned against a tree, her crimson cloak billowing slightly in the breeze. She was known for her fierce independence, but today, her heart raced with anticipation.

After she and Raven had gotten close, it was only natural that she got closer to Maddie as well. They were best friends, but Cerise didn’t think she’d ever get close to Maddie in this way.

Over the past few months she’d to a revelation. She was totally head over glass slippers for a certain tea loving girl.

And it sucked thinking they could never be more…

Maddie Hatter, ever the embodiment of whimsy, skipped through the forest, her vibrant hair bouncing with each step. She spotted Cerise and her grin widened, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“What are you up to Cerise?”

Cerise smirked, her dark eyes glinting with a dark hint of something ... “Just enjoying the quiet. Care to join?”

Maddie bounded over, her energy infectious. “Absolutely! But we should make it more fun!” With a flourish, she pulled out a pocket watch, its hands spinning wildly. “Let’s see where it takes us!”

The watch was colored is shades of teal, pink and yellow. The numbers unreadable to someone like Cerise who wasn’t a Wonderlandian.

Before Cerise could protest, the watch shimmered, enveloping them in a swirl of colors. When the world settled, they found themselves in a cozy, candlelit nook, filled with plush cushions and soft, inviting blankets.

“What just happened?” Cerise laughed, a mix of surprise and delight in her voice.

“Just a little magic!” Maddie replied, her grin mischievous. “Now we’re in my favorite secret spot. Perfect for a cozy chat—or something… else.”

As the words left her mouth it was as if the room got impossibly warm. Cerise half couldn’t believe what was happening.

I mean, it wasn’t every day when the girl you were over the glass slippers for whisked you away to some privet magical place.

Cerise felt her heart race. Maddie’s playful nature always drew her in, but today felt different. “What did you have in mind?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Maddie leaned closer, the warmth of her presence wrapping around Cerise like a spell. “How about we share secrets?” she suggested, mischief glinting in her eyes. “I’ll start.”

Cerise couldn’t help but smile, caught in Maddie’s web of charm. “Alright, but I’m not easily impressed.”

Maddie giggled, leaning even closer. “I once turned a teapot into a real talking hat! It was quite the adventure.”

Cerise chuckled, but her pulse quickened as their faces drew near. “Impressive. But can you keep a secret?”

Maddie nodded eagerly, her breath mingling with Cerise’s. “Absolutely!”

With a teasing grin, Cerise leaned in, their lips almost brushing. “I’ve always thought you were the most fabeulous.”

Time went still as Maddie turned to look at the girl. Cerise thought that she could hear her heart pounding.

She didn’t know why she said it. Maybe it was the atmosphere or maybe it was her over confidence. But the cat was out the bag, and the next words Maddie spoke would change everything.

Maddie’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and delight lighting her features. She thought that it was nothing short of a miracle that someone like Cerise returned her feelings.

No words were needed. Not when they were a breath apart.

With that, the distance between them vanished. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, electric and soft. The world around them faded, leaving just the two of them, tangled in a moment of magic.

Pulling away slightly, Maddie’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “So, what else do you want to do in this secret place?”

Cerise smirked, a playful glint in her eyes. “How about I show you? Paint you a picture of sorts.”

Maddie bit her lip, heat coiling within as their lips clashed together in a kiss fiery passion that connected their bodies.

Cerise waisted no time in discarding Maddie’s clothes, leaving the girl in only a pair of polka dot socks.

Not that either noticed, not when Cerises mouth was on her neck. Biting and sucking so deeply it left her breathless.

Maddie thought that if she wasn’t mad yet she’d surely be mad now.

Gripping her legs, Cerise settled between them, her tongue gliding down her neck to her collarbone as she gazed deeply into Maddie’s eyes.

Maddie let out a strangled moan as Cerises mouth envopled her chest into wet kisses of heat and pure lust, the want making her dizzy as she stared at the girl.

Her mind was swimming, lost in the vast expanses that was Cerises mouth twirling on her chest in slow circles.

The cry that left her mouth was nearly deafening as Cerise grazed with her abnormally fangs along her chest before biting down.

The all consuming heat clouded her mind and every sense she had. She wanted this moment to last longer but soon somebody was going to come looking for them.

But that didn’t mean they couldn’t stay for a little longer…

———————————

Guys I’m trying to learn how to write lesbian smut and I feel like this is a step in the right direction so pls give me time and I’ll get there

Anyway did anyone else hear what happened to Liam from one direction 😭 like there goes my childhood but jokes aside rip babe

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

[juannaflippa]

random total drama reboot sexuality headcanons (made these while listening to laufey)

priya is pan, she just kinda knew she loved any and all genders. demiromantic, falls in love at first sight but always thinks twice about if its a crush or not (it never is). uses she/they. scared to tell her parents

millie gives lesbian tbh, never felt attraction to a guy. had 'crushes' on girls and always brushed them off until she was like wait. holy darn i'm gay what the flip okay. also demiromantic, just like, never has crushes but knows she can

julia's bi. idk she just like, likes girls. she's never dated a girl but she lowk wants to, never told anyone

hear me out. mk, aromantic. always joked about how she was too busy with her tech to be into romance, then she realized she wasn't joking. also lesbian and nonbinary

nichelle is THE closet lesbian my god, straight on air but lesbian off set. got caught on a date with a girl once and literally had to make a whole 10 page insta slide explanation (everyone skimmed it, no one even cared, literally everyone still thought she was still straight UNTIL she made the post.)

axel is just so lesbian to me idk. her and ripper get together in season two tho so idk but i still live by the lesbian hc tbh

scary girl is just. scary. idk man she's not a girl or boy they are just an essence. unlabeled, asexual, probably uses any pronouns because as long as you're scared she don't care

emma is so transfem to me she is just a trans girl trust me. she's also bisexual and uses she/they. chill about telling people she's bi, but doesn't really bring up that she's trans unless she trusts you

raj is obviously gay. felt more free when he realized. lowk forced himself to have crushes on girls to fit in, like just thought you could choose someone and be like "yup ur my crush now"

wayne is either the BIGGEST straight ally ever or aroace. idk he just gives aroace vibes to me, also faked crushes. raj and wayne would LOWK be jealous of eachother for actually having crushes on girls ☠️

bowies gay of course. always just kinda knew, very very open about it. get's bullied for it sometimes but he doesn't care (the other person always get BODIED by his insults if bowie feels like it)

damien is transmasc and bi, pretty open about it. he doesn't mind telling people cause he doesn't care if they hate him for it. always shocks people when he comes out, he finds it funny

chase is so transmasc oh my god he has literally never told anyone and he is scared to. also the HARDEST bisexual closet case my god

zee idkk like maybe genderfluid bisexual asexual and uses any pronouns.

ripper is an on the low bisexual. wants to held by a MAN

anddd caleb idk probably straight ally

non sexuality related but

emma listens to laufey!

emma and chase havent come out to eachother about being trans. emma told chase about being bisexual and chase just kind of ghosted her for a few days

raj is autistic and wayne has adhd

damien listens to tyler, the creator

axel is def hispanic, she got that puerto rican blood in her i swear

damien got snake bite piercings

chase still payed for all of emmas subscriptions after they broke up ☠️

chase was buying tampons for emma and deadass asked her "babe what size yo pussy". she blocked and ghosted him for a good week

emma is an avid minecraft player, lowk got chase into it (they had a hardcore world for THREE YEARS and chase got them killed by a creeper when they were making a bakery for emma because he SWORE emma was paranoid for wanting to wear armor)

bowie used to be a track kid

emma tried to go vegan for like a week before she quit

damien is probably autistic

chase used to work at one of those kiosks at the mall that sell shitty overpriced sunglasses

priya has watched total drama more times than she can count. her parents didn't let her watch any other shows until she could memorize all the lines to island, action, and world tour if she was LUCKY

chase is a kpop stan

that's it. that's the post. same time next week guys???

[worldenough-and-time]

Tag someone you’d like to know better!

Thank you for the tags @lynxindisguise and @kaleidoscopexsighs 🥰

Three ships: Wolfstar, Pynch, Andriel

First ship: okay so for me it was Phoebe and Cole from Charmed. Do y’all remember Charmed? On TNT?? I was obsessed with that show from 3rd-5th grade. Anyway this is the first time I remember shipping a ship and knowing deep in my soul that they were not gonna be endgame and yet… Look, I know Cole was a demon and kept turning evil but like… they could’ve worked it out.

After that it was Sidney and Vaughn from Alias, which I still 100% stand by.

Last song: Just Like We Never Said Goodbye by Sophie. Mel made this Suburban Romance playlist and I’ve been vibing to it all day.

Last movie: It was Barbie, of course. Very fun, Push by Matchbox 20 you will always be famous!

Currently reading: Marginalia by @spindrifters As The Worm Moon Dies by @rollercoasterwords and this week I started The Mayors of Simpleton by @fruityindividual

Also I just bought A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers to read on my trip!

Currently watching: lol I’m rewatching One Tree Hill, mostly writing while I watch because I basically have that show memorized. I just finished The Bear though, it was great. Very sexy.

Last thing I wrote: Ok so technically the last thing I wrote was a lesbian riff on @achilleslikespeas fic Immaculate Conception that I finished in a fugue state in one day. I already showed Claude and idk if I’ll end up posting it anywhere yet but I had so much fun writing it! My first time writing horror!

Currently Writing: Trucking along on the next chapter of True Blue! Also I’m gonna spend the next few weeks working on an original manuscript while I’m traveling, the working title is POPSTAR: Never Stop Being Gay :)

Tagging in @spindrifters @fruityindividual @baptisia-alba @mostlymaudlin

[kidlawevents]

The Complete Prompt List

Thank you to everyone who sent in such wonderful prompts! ♡ We ended up with 88 all in all, so there’s definitely something for everyone.

We’ll reblog this list with the addition of the ns/fw prompts so that anybody interested in only the sfw prompts can reblog/save only the original post.

You don’t need to sign up in order to participate, simply pick a prompt (or more!) and create something based on it. Then post the completed work to our ao3 collection. You can even combine several prompts if you feel like it.

The collection for posting your works can be found here. The works will remain unrevealed till September 1st. +the link to the original event post

If you have any questions about the exchange, don’t hesitate to contact us.

✿ Short and sweet ✿

1. Kid wielding Kikoku

2. piercings  

3. tattoos

4. blood

5. prosthetics  

6. makeup

7. Taking a walk in the park with ice cream  

8. One nice swimsuit and one lovely boy 

9. Law gets sick, caretaker Kid

10. At a beach party

11. Kid in Louboutin heels

12. Kid + Law + onsen

13. Kidlaw but kidd is transmasc

14. They’re lesbians, Harold

15. Phantom limb syndrome

16. Seashells

17. Jewelry/Tattoos

18. Summer Sports

19. Crossover

20. Marriage proposal

✿ Canon verse ✿

21. Law never gets his arm back in Dressrosa and Kid makes him a new prosthetic one

22. Babysitting with their nakamas after Bonneys apparence. 

23. Law and Kid are very busy pirates with their own goals, and arranging time for meetings or calls is nearly impossible. Writing through post seagulls is more reliable to them.

24. North Blue culture vs. South Blue culture

25. Law didn't have many scars before Dressrosa, and Kid is fascinated by them.

26. For whatever reason their devil's fruit powers are swapped and they have to manage the situation

27. Kid and Law wearing Alabasta fashion

28. The Polar Tang is being reparated in a summer island in which the Kidds Pirates are docked in. While his mates enjoys some mini-holidays at the beach in a summer island, Law studies his books closed in his room though it's very hot. Penguin sends Kid to offer Law an ice-cream for refreshing and Law declines it. Unfortunately for him, Kidd knows how to make Law's mouth water for it.

29. Law tells Kid about his full name

30. Kid helps repair/makes upgrades on Polar Tang and impresses Law with his skills

✿ AUs ✿

31. Kidlaw Titanic AU  

32. Soulmate AU where you sometimes dream about the day the other person had.  

33. One of them goes to make a deal with the fae, prepared for the price to be anything, but all they're asked for is a kiss.  

34. Cyberpunk au. Law is an surgeon android, Kid is cyborg, both are outlaw as rebels.  

35. I´m dating with a seacreature, what´s next? 

36. date auction event au where law is forced to participate (as their section's representative) and kid got him as his date for a week

37. kid killer law luffy and zoro are board mates, and law chose kid to be his subject for his pre med subject like blood sample, anatomy etc (idk abt a thing about med) getting together au

38. highschool kidlaw as next door neighbors but they hate each other and kid was assigned to a kissing booth for their summer school fest. law keep pulling the coins from his pocket while kissing and killer etc didn't stop them bc everyone was paying to watch

39. Hades AU with law as zagreus (doflamingo as hades?) and kidd as Meg and/or thanatos

40. Law as an ancient and honestly rather bored dragon who’s taken interest in kidd, the most recent warrior to come try and fight him

41. Med student law and street punk kidd who basically started dating when law found kidd on the side of the road, dragged him home and patched him up

42. In school, kid started a secret relationship with his teacher of biology

43. Prince/ Knight - Kid is a Knight, Law is a Prince, they meet one day at the execution of a well known Thief.

44. Kid and Law are soldiers in the middle of a war, doing everything they can to escape the hell they’ve found themselves in.

45. Kid's been a blacksmith all his life and has dealt with too many intelligent weapons in his time. The nameless sword he gets from a haunted looking traveling merchant is the first one to come with a visual component though, and he's not impressed with the smirking bastard.

46. YouTuber AU where the fans can't get enough of Kid and Law's dynamic and they collaborate more than they'd like for the clicks.

47. The first words your soulmate say appear on your body somewhere when you turn 15. Which can be a problem when those words aren't exactly polite and are on a highly visible part of the body.

48. Chefs AU. A new restaurant opens in the same district as Law's, who owns a fancy seafood bistrô that even entered the Michelin guide. Law doesn't like it one bit until he sees who the owner and executive chef of the new place is.

49. Modern settings AU, fake dating (initially).

50. Kid meeting Rosinante; in an AU where Cora lives

51. Genderbend KidLaw just being girlfriends

✿ Misc ✿

52. Kid and Law meet for the first time as children

53. Kid and Law get stuck in an elevator

54. The moment when one of them realizes they're in love with the other and they break out into a cold, panic induced sweat.

55. Law is weak for soft things and that is a fact Kid learns after a drunk  Law nuzzles into his cloak for a minute before declaring Bepo softer and  abandoning him. Kid may or may not spend too much time afterwards  hunting down something guaranteed to be softer for no particular reason.

56. Kid and Law Being as a best men on someone’s wedding and making a lot of  stupid things together on Bachelor party and ended up as a couple (sfw  or nsfw).

57. Usopp and Sanji is trying to understand what secret (ER) Law and Kid are  hiding from them, but for Kid and Law it isn’t a secret at all, so they  just acts like old married couple. And sometimes stalking turns out  really interesting for two mugiwaras. (Sfw or nsfw)

58. KidLaw as old men. With their grandchildren.

59. Use the AO3 tag generator to get 5 tags and use 3 of them in your fic.  Tags could be both sfw and nsfw. https://taggenerator.netlify.app/

60. Sassy dialog/snappy comebacks. Wit, oneupmanship, rivalry, and wordplay.

61. Negotiating polyamory, an open relationship, and/or long distance. Pining, communication (or lack therof), overcoming hardship.   

62. Kid and Law are stubborn men who don't like being ordered around, but a relationship is all about compromise.

63. kidlaw bfs but kid going back in time and trying to win law again but law isn't impressed and doesn't buy that they are lovers in the near future

64. kid getting high from anesthesia and saying law's an angel and is he single even though they're engaged and he doesn't believe that law's his bf

65. Law has to perform a surgery on himself and Kid is forced to assist

66. Law had problems with drugs and was in rehab after a bad night, kid look for him when he's rehabilitated. I only want a fic about law fighting against his dark thoughts and kid helping him

67. Law is kidnapped by a group of guys to ask his father for ransom. But one of those men changes his mind upon meet the inmate.

68. They say that when you feel a strong pull towards a stranger it's because they were someone important to you in your last life. Law/Kid never believed in that before but what other explanation is there for how they feel drawn to the other?

69. Due to unfortunate circumstances Law and Kid find themselves cuffed together in a way neither of them can undo, and have to work together to get out of them.

70. Law pining over Kid, while Kid shows his indifference at first.

71. Age-Up KidLaw, they're being older and acting like an old married couple.

72. Kid has a medical condition that Law finds professionally fascinating

[misiwrites]

mayblade oneshot #1

prompts: bubbles; unpopular character; jewellery; rival; movie; lace; sleep characters: emily, hiromi, mao, max, rei pairings: emily/mao, max/rei word count: ~4,000

summary: In desperation to improve her relations with Mao, Emily agrees to go on a PPB & Baihuzu double date.

here’s a silly oneshot for mayblade about emily being an insecure baby lesbian. also like, an attempt to give her character development in 4k words, i guess. all prompts are questionably used, this required some "creative” patchwork to somehow combine them but i did it anyway because i love being weird. the “unpopular character” part is that this fandom doesn’t exactly have a surplus of fics about the girls and especially not f/f ships. idk if anyone even ships emily/mao but here you go anyway. this is the best i could do in 2 days, only marginally edited, also untitled so i’m posting only on tumblr first – i’ll put the mayblade oneshots on AO3 later once i know what i’m actually doing with the rest of the weeks (or if i do them)

☆ ☾ ☆ ☾ ☆ ☾ ☆

Although Emily has never been on a double date before, she has an inkling that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. And the only reason she finds herself in this situation, handcuffed to Mao in an escape room while wondering who’s even on a date with whom here, is a single idiotic suggestion made by Hiromi.

Technically, it had all started from a slumber party hosted by Mao. She had decided to throw an exclusive girls-only closing party once the world championship tournament was over, in the spirit of them no longer holding any animosity towards each other – supposedly, anyway. Emily hadn’t gone to said party, much to Hiromi’s confusion when they talked the next day.

“I’m not much of a party person. Besides, she obviously hates my guts,” Emily mumbled for explanation.

“Who? Mao? I don’t think so.”

“Well, I do.”

“What, because of the match the other day?”

Not just that, but it was the latest evidence of such. Part of the end-of-tournament celebrations had been the several ceremonial matches between the teams that hadn’t made it to the grand final, including a rematch between the PPB All Starz and the Baihuzu where, instead of the official tag teams, Mao and Emily had taken the places of Rai and Rick to spice things up a little and give the benched players an opportunity to join in on the fun. It hadn’t gone down particularly stellarly; their ferociously competitive personalities had clashed so hard that the match had turned into a catfight of taunts and insults tossed back and forth, it was far from a fun practice match for anyone included and ended with both girls storming out of the stadium, fuming, cursing each other.

Though Mao wasn’t the only one Emily had been cursing in that moment. She had also cursed herself, who had once again failed to contain her snarky temperament. For having once again let herself fall in the same mindset from two years prior, when she’d first met Mao and immediately framed her as a rival and her competition, just for being the only other girl in the main participating teams.

But she didn’t want to stay in that mindset. In fact, she’d intended to do the exact opposite, because the mere sight of Mao made her heart race in the queerest way and her legs feel suspiciously weak and her mind blossom with thoughts she could never, ever put into words for anyone to hear. Somewhere along the two years since they first met, Emily’s heart had undergone a drastic change. But the changes that Mao had undergone couldn’t be understated either; she’d grown to become so dazzling, so strong and blindingly gorgeous, those toned arms and muscular thighs combined with the impeccable feline cuteness; simply put, Emily had come to the horrific conclusion that she was falling for Mao, and hard.

The intensity of her own queerness had surprised Emily – although she’d already more or less come to terms with such inclinations within herself after having spent several formative years devoted to Mrs. Judy, recently admitting that her obsession with the PPB coach had, perhaps, slipped past platonic territory and into the realm of a puppy-like crush over time. (What could she say? Judy was a smoking hot lady.)

For some ungodly reason, however, Emily had found herself incapable of shedding the tough interior of a cold, lab coat-wearing bitch that she’d put on in front of everybody so successfully that, even now, she couldn’t really call anyone but Hiromi a friend; so, when the opportunity had risen to have a fun ceremonial match with Mao, she’d automatically played along the guidebook of being that bitchy, calculating nerd who only saw Mao as a rival. And Mao had responded accordingly. It had been a shitshow.

Hence, of course, when Mao had hosted a fun slumber party for the girls afterwards, Emily couldn’t bring herself to go. She’d wanted to, but she was too ashamed of her own behavior. The other girls were probably talking ill of her behind her back, anyway – except for Hiromi, whom Emily trusted to be the good friend she’d become to her. Honest almost to a fault, Hiromi always defended those who deserved it, and Emily wished she had even an ounce of Hiromi’s courage to be true to herself in front of others.

But Hiromi wasn’t just courageous; she was also alarmingly impulsive. And got a lot of very weird ideas that she then immediately jumped into executing. That’s why, before Emily could stop her, she’d come up with the bizarre idea of a double date that would allow the PPB and the Baihuzu to properly reconcile – and then voice-messaged Max about it. It was so instantaneous that Hiromi was already on the phone before Emily fully realized what she was even saying.

“Hey! So, I’ve been talking with Emily and she feels kinda crappy about that fight she had with Mao. I know she wants to make up with her but doesn’t know how. How about you take her and Mao and Rei on a double date to sort stuff out and have a good time? Sound good to you? Peace out!”

“I’m not going on a date with Max,” Emily immediately blurted out, scandalized by the idea alone. She never got over her distaste for the boy who bore such disturbing likeness to Judy but had none of her class nor style, and didn’t seem interested in inheriting any of it either. It was like being offered a Judy of her own age on a plate but worse, a pesky guy who wore bright orange overalls all day and didn’t even seem ashamed of it at all. Horrendous.

And, as per his response a minute later, Max thought the idea was “just great”. Therefore, despite Emily’s obvious disdain, this double date somehow came to being almost automatically without her input in any of it.

“Eh, you don’t need to think of it like that,” Hiromi assured her. “You do want to make up with Mao, right? I think it’s the best if you’re nowhere near a bey stadium to do it, honestly.”

Well. Emily did want to make up with Mao. She wanted more than to make up with her. So, in the end, she did agree to go on this date with Max and the Chinese pair… but only by summoning a whole different fantasy to go with it.

If I went on a date with Mao… What would I want it to be like? It was a tantalizing yet anxiety-inducing thought. After all, Emily had never gone on a date with anyone before, nor had she been so perfectly smitten with someone the way she now found herself smitten with Mao. It was a bit scary, a bit exciting, it was… nothing but a silly daydream. One that she clung onto wholeheartedly.

While getting ready for the date, she took a long, committed bubble bath. She thoroughly indulged in coconut-scented bubbly goodness and scrubbed herself squeaky clean.

She put on her favorite underwear, mint green with a bit of lace and cute little ribbons in the front – for confidence, not some absurd fever dream scenario of actually getting to show it off. Although… perhaps her thoughts did go in that direction, just a little. Enough to make her ears feel suspiciously warm while getting dressed.

She’d gone shopping for a whole new outfit for the occasion. A plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and a beanie that gave off a sufficiently sapphic vibe without being flashy. She even put on some jewelry, a rare sight on her that spoke of real committal for the cause. A couple of bracelets and a cute alligator necklace she’d gotten herself for a present before.

By the time she left her room to go meet up with Max, she’d almost forgotten she was supposed to go out with him instead of Mao. She’d gone in full girl-meets-girl mode while getting ready and now had to face the reality of… well, at least Max hadn’t put on the orange overalls for once. He was rather nicely clad in a button-up shirt and Capri shorts, in fact. Almost as if he’d put in an actual crumb of effort for the occasion as well, oddly enough.

The two of them went to fetch the Baihuzu pair from their lodging. She hardly paid attention to Rei (he sure existed, showing off his arms and wearing normal jeans that proved he had actual real legs despite habitually hiding them in weird, baggy yoga pants or whatever); she was only concerned with Mao’s adorable pink-and-white cat sweater and a pair of shorts, generous for her curves and thick thighs. Her hair was tied up on a couple of buns with red ribbons that bounced a little with each step as the four of them made their way downtown.

She was so cute, lovely, mesmerizing… bouncy. She looked so good that Emily almost didn’t mind her dismissive attitude towards her. Mao’s main interests seemed to lie in going to try out a bubble tea place near their lodging, to which the other two cheerfully obliged. To Emily’s dismay, Mao was annoyingly colloquial with Max who, as usual, got along with anyone with ease despite them not being friends of any sort for all she knew.

At this point, Emily didn’t notice anything off about the arrangement yet. She knew that the guys had known each other a long time, it wasn’t strange to her how easily they reconciled after a tournament of fighting against each other in rival teams. She figured they just slipped right back into their old acquaintance as if nothing had ever happened between them.

They had the bubble tea. Emily had something with mint, she didn’t pay much attention, she was more invested in watching how excited Mao was to try a “summer” tea with several fruit on it. Emily took the mental note that if she were to ever take Mao on a date, a bubble tea shop was the winner.

As if.

After the tea, they went to the infamous escape room – it was Max’s idea. Emily had never been to one before, but being a natural problem solver and engineering-minded, she rather liked the concept of a puzzle room. It wasn’t the worst way to spend a date she didn’t want to actually be on…

And now. Here is where she begins to wonder some. It’s not the fact that the two boys get along so well that puzzles her, but rather the lack of initiative of it feeling like Rei is on a date with Mao. The lack of similar intent from Max’s side doesn’t surprise Emily, he’s never shown any such interest in her (thank God), therefore the most of this double date’s premise hinged on Rei and Mao being a legitimate couple where she and Max were not…

but… how should she put it… something is just off about the mood as they proceed with solving the escape puzzles of the confined room.

Emily lets quite a lot of Max’s oddball behavior slide, having witnessed plenty of it by now as they’ve pretty much lived together as the PPB All Starz team for a couple of months now; but as she side-eyes the guys’ shenanigans as they solve a Tarot card-related puzzle together while Mao is preoccupied with a different task on the other side of the room, she’s becoming increasingly convinced that Max is flat-out flirting with Rei. Looks, gestures, touches, words. All the time. Constantly. It never ends.

Rei’s not doing anything to tell him off for it, either. If anything, he seems to be enjoying it.

And the intimate mood it has set in the room only grows stranger when Emily finds herself shackled to Mao a moment later, as part of solving a puzzle where they are instructed to create a literal chain across the room in order to get the final key. For the first time that day, she’s standing close enough to Mao to be able to catch the subtle smell of her sweet perfume. It’s a floral fragrance that Emily, with her limited knowledge of anything remotely related to cosmetics, cannot exactly accurately place but she’s guessing jasmine… With a hint of something potent, almost spicy… Saffron, perhaps…?

Shit. About time I should say something to her. It’s awkward, just standing there doing nothing. Moreover, the whole point of this outing was for her to make up with Mao, and so far she hasn’t said anything but a pathetic “hi” to her. Where to even start?

The flowery waft is so strong. She peers over at Mao, eyes drawn to the French pink of her painted nails. For someone so tomboyish, with the build of a martial artist, Mao sure is surprisingly feminine as well. She’s unbearably cute, really. Emily can feel the clamminess of sweat beginning to gather on her face just from the proximity. Would complimenting her work for reconciliation? Or would Mao just find it tacky? Or weird? Would it be insulting to focus on feminine stuff? Oh gosh—

“That’s a cute necklace,” Mao says.

Emily blinks. She intuitively looks down at the object hanging from her neck despite knowing perfectly well what it looks like. “Oh.”

Mao leans in a bit closer, to take a better look, and Emily is positively, utterly bewitched by the notion of just how long and dark Mao’s eyelashes are.

“It’s really original. Is that a crocodile?”

“An alligator,” Emily corrects. “For Trygator.”

Mao lets out a delighted shriek. “Of course! How stupid of me to not realize.”

The other end of the chain that’s connected to Emily’s left hand suddenly drops to the floor with a clutter. The puzzle has been solved, and Max comes over with a key to the handcuffs. Emily doesn’t know whether she’s more relieved or disappointed.

At least the ice is broken between them now. Emily is for once eager to push when they collectively wonder if they still wanted to go do something by the four of them. She definitely wants to keep going now, she’s finally getting comfortable with this mismatched party of four.

Since they’re in town anyway, they decide to head over to Max’s place to watch some movies, in continuation of a conversation they had over in the bubble tea shop where Rei admitted he’s never seen all the Lord of the Rings films. “How could someone not have seen them?!” – and Emily is inclined to agree, she’s seen each so many times that she’s lost count. But yet another Fellowship of the Ring re-watch always works.

Emily’s never been to Max’s house in Japan. Now, once she sees how ordinary and, well, Japanese the Mizuhara residence actually is, the thought occurs to her – possibly for the first time – how there’s more to the guy than being related to Judy. The mother and son look so alike, the fact that Max also has his Japanese roots easily slips Emily’s mind… but he does come from a different cultural background from her, after all.

As does Mao. Emily suddenly realizes, much to her embarrassment, that she never did put much thought into how different a place Mao or any of the other international bladers came from. It wasn’t something that she, as a white American, needed to be concerned with. All the different locations they toured during beyblade championships had felt like theme parks of some kind to her. The extent of her knowledge on China – well, she’d rather not even go there.

They get snacks from the kitchen and settle in the hobby shop part of the house to watch the movies. Mao chooses to sit on the floor while the rest make themselves comfortable on an enormous black corner sofa, the space is almost like an actual home theater despite hosting a bey stadium.

By the half-way mark of the Fellowship of the Ring, as dusk has begun to push against the windows from outside, they take a short break. Max goes to fix some more soda for them and Mao, stretching each of her limbs, climbs up to the couch to snatch some of the freed-up space. She’s still keeping a distance between her and Emily, though.

“This movie is too long, to be honest,” she says with a yawn and another stretch.

Emily couldn’t disagree more – but instead of stating so, she quickly bites back her tongue. Surely there’s something else she can say, something that’s not a potential spark for yet another squabble. That’s the last thing she needs now.

“What’s your favorite movie?” she decides to instead ask. It’s the first question she’s posed to Mao all day.

“Terminator,” Mao replies briskly.

Emily spits out her mouthful of soda.

“What? Seriously?”

“It was the first Hollywood movie I ever saw. Still the best! Classic!”

Wiping her chin on a shirtsleeve, Emily actually contemplates this answer for a bit. “So you did grow up watching American movies in your homeplace, then.”

“Well, not many,” Rei chimes in from his corner of the couch. “Not exactly many opportunities to watch movies in our village. Most places are lucky to have electricity…”

“But there’s been a conscious effort to bring the place up to speed in the last couple of years!” Mao insists, casting a mildly accusatory glare at him, as if he were at fault for leaving behind a village without televisions in the boonies.

Max returns with a new array of soda bottles. “My dad has a secret stash,” he explains, though nobody asked.

They carry on with the film, but Emily’s attention span is up, her thoughts scattered. She’s so very pleased to have been able to start a decent conversation with Mao. Up until now she’s had no idea what to even say to her, convinced that Mao’s avoiding talking to her in the first place; now she’s itching to ask more, even about their backwards Chinese village, maybe hear more about how she perceives American culture, suddenly the prospects of possible topics feel endless even without talking about blading.

Sam and Frodo take off, the first movie draws to an end. The Two Towers next? Hell yeah. But the boys leave to replenish the snack bowls first. Emily stifles a yawn that she catches from Mao; it’s not that late yet, not for a movie night, but Mao is starting to look like a sleepy kitten at this point.

“Are you and Rei actually dating?” Emily suddenly asks, emboldened by the girls-only moment – and perhaps the sugar high from too much orange soda as well.

The question earns an amused half-laugh, half-scoff from Mao. “Dating? Hah, I wish. I mean, I sure try, but Rei-nii basically said to my face that his head is too full of other shit for him to care. Eh, boys develop slow – I’ll give it a couple years and try again.”

“That’s commitment,” Emily mumbles, fiddling with her plaid sleeves. It stings, despite her having full well known how unlikely it was that Mao also liked girls. And even if she did, her commitment to eventually get through to Rei sounded like she had no plans to go and give someone else a try.

“Yeah, I’m probably just stupid,” Mao admits in a deceptively light-hearted tone.

So am I, Emily wants to say, but decides to instead get up to her feet for a bit, numb from all the sitting, and take a bathroom break.

So, it turns out, this so-called double date was actually a none-date, as neither couple is even seeing each other. No wonder it never felt like a proper date to begin with.

Or not like a boy-meets-girl date, at least. On her way to the bathroom, she walks right past the kitchen area of the house and, while at it, spots the guys engaged in their snack shenanigans – that is, snack shenanigans that are looking a whole lot like they are the snacks for each other.

She freezes, then sprints out of direct line of sight, feebly attempts to blend in with the wall behind her as she spies on the kitchen. She’s too far away to hear what the two are saying, speaking in low, hushed tones; but the way they’re pressed against each other by the kitchen counter, Max’s hand traveling up and down, up and down Rei’s muscular arm, and – whatever else they may be engaged in that Emily cannot see from her hiding spot – well, it doesn’t leave much for interpretation.

When they finally move away from the counter, she slips behind the bathroom door as quickly and quietly as she can, then peers through the narrow gap of the barely closed door. A few seconds go past, then Rei emerges into her view carrying a new bowl of the Cheetos that Emily herself has been snacking on all evening. He picks one from the bowl and is just about to eat it when Max’s hand appears from the side to snatch it from him; she sees Max, sporting a cheeky smile, toss the Cheeto in his own mouth, grab Rei by the collar, and pull him in for a mischievous little kiss before they move on.

Emily pulls the bathroom door closed. She takes a step back, her face glowing red hot with the warmth of stunned fluster.

Now, she thinks back, when Max agreed to this double date of him, Rei, Mao, and Emily – well, Hiromi never did specify that the one Max was going on a date with was her, not Rei. And Mao, too, is apparently in full understanding of not being in a dating type of relationship with Rei. So…

She returns to the movie room a moment later with her heart in her throat. And as Max puts the Two Towers on, she resolutely sits right next to Mao. The guys, too, seem to have seized the other corner of the couch together. They act civil in front of the girls but their games are so obvious to Emily now, it feels weird to even share the space and pretend she doesn’t know they’re itching to get into each other’s pants.

And she thinks of her own lacy panties that she put on this morning for a confidence boost. She shifts uncomfortably on the couch, feeling herself so silly all of a sudden.

Several quiet minutes of movie-watching drag by. Merry and Pippin meet the Ents, the approximately one hundred hours long battle of Helm’s Deep begins, all Emily cares for in this part of the movie is Legolas and Gimli, what else.

She feels a soft weight press against her left shoulder. Her heart jumps anew, her hands clutching the hem of her shirt in panic.

Mao, fast asleep, has slumped against her. The warm, steady puffs of her breath now tickle at the base of Emily’s neck.

A bead of nervous sweat rolling down her face, Emily side-eyes Rei and Max. To see if they noticed, if they care.

The guys aren’t paying them any attention whatsoever. She doesn’t care to pay them attention, either.

She straightens her glasses with a shaky hand. Then, slowly, she moves the same hand over to the back of Mao’s head. She gives the soft, pink hair a tentative stroke. Mao lets out a content murmur, so quiet, it’s more of a vibration that Emily feels on her skin than a sound.

And in the comforting darkness of the room, Emily allows herself a genuine smile for the first time that day. She relaxes her tense shoulders to better accommodate the sleeping girl leaning against her and smiles, she feels like she could keep smiling forever, she’s indeed never had less qualms about the length of the Lord of the Rings movies if it meant staying like this all night.

She cannot wait to let Hiromi know just how successful her double date scheme turned out to be.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

even more geralt ramsey hcs

PART 1

since everyone enjoyed the first round so much....

inspired by seasons 2&3 of kitchen nightmares and conversations with @toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian and @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

don't worry there Is a fic in the works :)

-geralt gets food poisoning all the fucking time

-that is when he's doing kitchen nightmares

-cause have you seen the shit on that show?? its nasty

-and contrary to popular belief, geralt does Not have an iron stomach

-no he might be able to eat unseasoned meat and gross tavern food but Somehow he had not gained immunity to bad meat and moldy food

-hes trying to though

-but anyway

-he regularly gets food poisoning while filming the show

-even despite his prayers to not

-he carries around a bottle of pepto bismol with him at all times

-he doesn't particularly think that it works

-but the looks on the owners faces when he downs it in front of them after eating their food is Priceless 

-most of the time

-jaskier is not with him when he films cause jaskiers busy bake off hosting

-but

-occasionally

-he will tag along

-these nights usually result in geralt puking in some random hotel and jaskier going Full Feral Bard

- “geralt i think that its very nice that you see the potential in these places but i will not tolerate them giving you food poisoning”

- “hmm”

-he leaves all the places that give geralt food poisoning bad yelp reviews

-jaskier loves yelp

-geralt absolutely hates yelp and he hates that jaskier does this because “I'm trying to improve the place not further drag it through the gutter”

-jaskier does not care

-he had had to make 4 separate yelp accounts because geralt keeps deleting his

-so far his names have been susan, leslie, tabitha, and trish

-people online start to notice a Trend

-whenever geralt flips a place, a Really Bad Yelp Review turns up, usually within the same week it was filmed and they all reference food poisoning 

-and they all are written in this weird flowery language

-at first people think that geralt himself is writing them

-a few seasons in after geralt slips up that he has a husband people start to Speculate that the husband is writing the reviews

-jaksier is overly smug

-geralt tries to get him permanently banned from yelp

-it does not work

-geralt also has a Big Watch

-like I'm talking a thick silver rolex kinda thing

-wears it all the time

-jaskier got it for them for one of their big anniversaries

-750? geralt doesn't know and certainly doesn't remember 

-but its very nice

-the back of it has an inscription 

-its says dear heart

-geralt will never admit it though

-it looks frighteningly out of place next to his spare hair tie but oh well

-he also still wears his medallion

-tucked under his shirt

-sometimes people ask him what it is

-he claims that its a Bad Food Detector

-also on the chain are two rings

-one of them is one of jaskiers

-he gave it to geralt as a sort of promise ring way back when when they first got serious

-the second is geralts wedding band

-he doesn't wear it very often cause he's Chef but he still likes to have it close to him

-hes used the same one at every single one of their many many marriage ceremonies 

-the ring itself is hella fucking old

-jaskier probably bought it at Ye Olde Marketplace back in like 1370 cause he was sappy and geralt said he liked it and saved it for years and years until they officially got married

-geralt has a knife on him at all times

-its not a kitchen knife either

-its one of his old hunting knives

-spelled to look like a pocketknife 

-its very useful for poking at food he doesn't want to eat

-and besides, old habits die hard

-also in this au

-idk why

-but i picture this geralt as having the face scar that game!geralt has

-no one knows where he got it

-theres many many stories

-theories range from wrestling a bear to a kitchen nightmares gone wrong

-after they are officially Out

-everyone asks jaskier

-at first he's annoyed

-cause “why do you need to know? he's beautiful either way”

-but then he decides to have some Fun with it

-when he's hosting bakeoff he’ll say shit like 

- “oh be careful with that flambé, that's how geralt got that scar.”

- “don't go flipping knives around like that! bollocks that's how geralt nearly lost his eye!”

-or geralts personal favorite

- “see this is why we don't leave banana peels in the kitchen! have you ever wondered where geralt got that scar from? he slipped on one and flew into the counter!”

-such an event did happen actually but it was at kaer morhen and it was a prank pulled by lambert during the winter of 1298

-but all geralt got from that was a black eye and he dyed all of lambert's small clothes pink

-the season that jaskier happens to say that one though is the season where lambert is competing 

-cause i don't know if i mentioned this but lambert can't cook but he can Bake and in this au he goes on bakeoff and purely to annoy the shit outta jaskier

-lambert is so caught off guard about the banana peel story that he nearly drops his finished technical challenge 

-later on that day lambert finds a box in his hotel that contains a pair of pink underwear

-(geralt sent them)

-i could go on forever about this but this post is long enough as it is

tagging some people that seemed really interested in the first round of hcs (hope you don't mind. if you do mind lmk and i’ll take you off) also i guess there's a tag list for geralt ramsey now so if you want on...shoot me an ask?

tag list: @littleredhotridinghood @artemisthehuntress @love-more-today-than-yesterday @llamasdumpsterfire @fontegagrilledcheese @punksarcasticmisanthropicwriter 

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

i saw in your bio your pronouns are “she/her probs” if you wouldn’t mind could you elaborate on that? you 100% don’t have to bc at the end of the day it’s none of my business but i’ve been thinking a lot about my own gender identity recently and your pronouns caught my eye

okay so basically, when i was born the doctor wasn’t there, he was helping out the teenage girl next door, and my mom had done it a bunch of times already so it was kinda no big deal? so there was no one there to be like “it’s a girl!” and i’ve been chasing that high ever since.

i was the youngest of too many, growing up on street with only little boys and my parents were never home so we’d basically be out and about until like 11pm trying to decide which god from the greek mythos was our secret parent and never once was i a girl with them we just didn’t have gender it didn’t exist

my two older sisters were extremely close whereas my two older brothers were hated each other and I was close with both of them individually so i never interacted with my sisters bc they were always hanging out together

when i started being a woman in middle school (my mom said I had to :/ ) i didn’t do it right and the first question i got asked was “are you a boy or are you a lesbian?”

i was so obsessed with looking like my older brother i kept my hair super super long and to this day he hasn’t cut it he keeps it in a man bun but i cut mine short directly after high school so i could go to an hwc like the fucking lesbian i am

the first girl i dated had four fingers in total on both her hands, not counting thumbs, and we fell in love play wrestling and like, physically rough housing, like i had with the little boys on my street growing up. she plays the viola to this day i think

when i first saw my now ex-boyfriend my first thought was, he’s either a lesbian or he’s trans, and to this day he’s identified as every label on the lgbtqa spectrum which is funny to me

i like the way i look in a binder but maybe that’s just cause i hate my body and want to punish it?

growing up i played a bunch of sports bc the commutes were the only guaranteed time alone i had with my dad and it was on a softball field in sixth grade that i realized i was a lesbian while looking at the short stop. her sister was a lesbian but the girl i liked was very straight :/

every dress i buy makes me look like an ethereal woodland goddess except for the one i bought that makes me look like a witch, and i look objectively gorgeous in them all except i dont wanna be pretty i want girls to jump out of their boots when they see me so i can catch them in my big strong arms and carry them home

once this kid i had a crush on and i watched the carmilla movie together. they were dating someone and i was pretty sure i was in love with them and when the sex scene came on i did not kiss them which i am both proud of and deeply regret

we also watched the miseducation of cameron post together with similar results

my grandfather carried around a pocket knife around with him everywhere bc he wanted to be useful, i carry around a backpack with a playing deck, a phone charger, a portable charger, a charger for my portable charger, a bar, bandaids, hand sanitizer, pen, pencil, notepad, pencil sharpener, a candle, a flashlight, a compass, matches, a book, lip stuff, pads, tampons, advil, neosporin, and a knife.

my dad has a big leather jacket i steal from him constantly and it’s big and brown and i keep an acorn in the pocket of it like i’m a stardew valley character who might need a nature snack. it’s very good for hiding in and definitely conceals my body

whenever i go shopping with my sisters they always try and dress me up as femininely as possible, despite neither of them being feminine in the slightest. whenever i go shopping with my brother i always empty my wallet. so i dont go shopping.

once i explained this problem to a close friend and he dropped off four shirts and those are pretty much the only thing i wear now. i found one pair of jeans that fit and i just wash those when they get dirty and hope low rise comes back into fashion eventually cause high rise hurts my belly

over time my friend group and family (extended family) has become increasingly trans allowing me to explore my gender for what it is, i don’t feel as though i always need to present anything bc often they’re too tired or in chronic pain to present anything either. in truth, my name is not gus, but it’s one i’m considering going by offline and that a few friends call me. i have warned my fam that i might change my name and pronouns and they were all like :/// okay sweetie, but not they/them okay? the grammar would be a nightmare which like. i’ll take it. they accepted me being a theater kid when i thought i was a theater kid, i’ll give ‘em a break on this one

this snl sketch is a very good thing that was made, my sister is one of those women at the beginning, she’s extremely fashion minded and so smart and aesthetic. the line ‘as a child you were humiliated in a kohls fitting room where your mother said something so harmful it seared off the top layer of your brain”

it was actually my mother’s room where i had been called fat one too many times by my brother and went to her and asked if i was. she said i could stand to lose a few.

my mother really struggled to lose her own baby weight as she had me late in life and with so many kids financial woes didn’t really ease out until i was maybe 7? 8? i didn’t realize at the time but she was looking at her reflection in one of the big mirrors she had in her room and even if she was talking to me she wasn’t talking to me, you know?

my mom did eventually lose the weight and got really in shape, like insanely in shape, she can now outrun god and dead lift satan on the days where her knee isn’t bothering her.

what else what else.

this poem:

“the tomboy grew up and she never went tame and she never found boys or makeup or nothing – nothing wrong with the girls who did but also it’s not inevitable, this progression womanhood rejected you, because where are the grownup tomboys? there’s no room for the rough-and-tumble girls to become rough-and-tumble foulmouthed broad-shouldered women. it’s alright to play at, daughter, they told you, but you have to grow up, and you were confused because you were playing at nothing the tomboy grew up, nonetheless. and instead of wrestling with friends she wrestled with herself for a while. but despite what they said, here she is, still rough, still wild. don’t believe the lies, daughter. grow as you need to. allow yourself to be pruned only to become stronger. grow bold and proud, daughter, like the trees that give you shelter, tomboy, wild girl. love the girls you dream of being strong for and the friends who bear you up when the storms shake your roots. there is value in the crabapple trees, wild daughter, even if the orchard-keeper turns up his nose. know this always, daughter: i love you exactly as you are, and however you need to be” by @sailorshadow

for julia in nebraska by addrienne rich

my friend got me that shirt during quarantine and i got the haircut a few weeks later

on the subject of rita mae brown who wrote ruby fruit jungle, i read the book while overseas in two days, didn’t look up the entire time, and was one of the first gay books i read. one of the things i loved about it was how the speaker was so unapologetically herself. how it ends on a note of bitter strength and triumphant defeat. i reread it while in georgia last year and found i had outgrown it. you might find some comfort in it, idk, just watch out bc there is some terf stuff in it? it aint perfect so just keep an eye out for that, it doesn’t ruin the book i don’t think, there’s other good stuff in it.

here’s some pictures of men:

growing up i was also surrounded by picture books, my grandmother was a children’s book librarian, and here are a couple of important figures:

then how to catch an elephant by amy schwartz but in particular this page:

and i’m sure i’m forgetting things but here’s my gender euphoria playlist:

i’m sure there’s stuff i’m not thinking of but i think that’s the gist of it? if you have any questions feel free to ask

ope! i almost forgot a couple of other important things:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq27hcPTzDo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENxbcvUXfnM

hope this helps you on your journey!!!!!!

[hopeshoodie]

Thank you to @mango-does-art for tagging me!

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Anne works 😊

2. When is your birthday?

April. Idk what day it is because it’s really hard for me to remember numbers and also we didn’t celebrate it growing up, but it’s late April. You know how many times me not knowing it without looking at my license has been an issue at a traffic stop/TSA check/bar? Too many lmao

3. Where do you live?

Midwest babeyyyyyyyy. I hate it here<3

4. Three things you are doing right now?

‘working’ re: waiting on people to get back to me, trying to clean out my google drive, and drafting a trust agreement. Am I doing any of those things? No, I’m on tumblr sksksks.

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

I mean obviously LITG, right? Mango’s right, HPHM slaps but I’m not really in the fandom for that at all. The Golden Sun fandom will own my heart literally until I die, and I love the Wheel of Time fandom even though I never post about it. Same with TMA, I don't contribute to the fandom but I do lurk in it a ton.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

Pretty okay, considering? I got COVID back in the fall (probably during the George Floyd protests or a state park but I’m still not sure) and like nearly died, but that was because I had a bunch of other stuff going on. My office is an ‘essential service’ which is bullshit, so we’ve been mostly in the office like nothing’s changed. I’m a hermit, so not going out hasn’t been an issue, and I’m autistic so I fucking love wearing masks. So yeah, I’m doing okay.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Not to be a basic fucking bitch, but the Hopelessly Devoted to You Talkbox tiktok audio has been looping in my head for days. It’s that, The Wellerman, and Line Without a Hook, back and forth, constantly.

 8. Recommend a movie.

I finally watched The Ruins after reading the book like a year ago and oh my god did I enjoy it. I’m not normally one for gore, but it was so scary 10/10. I’m kind of cramming to get through all the horror movies I set out to watch this year, so It Follows is next babey. I watched Annihilation again last week (I love that movie and book series so much oml) and I cannot recommend it enough. It’s not so much scary as it is unsettling, but the characters are so compelling and the visuals are so good and aaaaa I love it so much.

 9. How old are you?

22

10. School, university, occupation, other?

I’m a paralegal, but I have a bachelor's in history.

11. Do you prefer hot or cold?

COLD. COLD COLD COLD COLD. I literally hate the heat, if it gets over 80 degrees I get so cranky.

12. Name one fact others might not know about you

Idk I’m lowkey an open book… Um… I have an illegal snail ALLEGEDLY.

 13. Are you shy?

In large social settings yes. Like I would rather die than go to a party. But in artificial settings like business meetings/shopping/whatever it’s super easy to mask and seem outgoing.

 14. Your pronouns?

Honestly? Any. Like I want to be a he/him lesbian so badly, but like it’s not realistic. They is fine. She is what I normally go by so, that’s fine too.

15. Biggest pet peeves?

People!! Who don’t!!! Return their shopping carts!!! Also just in general people who are unkind on purpose- shit like stepping on bugs after someone’s said they want to take it outside or making fun of something that someone’s excited about makes me so mad.

 16. What is your favorite “dere” type?

Idk what this means. Is this an anime thing? If so, I’m too pretty to know what that means *flips nonexistent hair*

17. Rate your life from 1-10

Right now? Like a solid 7. As a whole, it’s been pretty shitty so probably 2 or 3.

18. What’s your main blog?

@hyperspacial

19. List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

Ooooh I don’t want to out my other sideblog because it is toxic as fuck. But this is my LITG sideblog, that’s my main, and I have @michaelavenatti for reblogging ~aesthetic~ stuff. But yeah, I only have the 4, and I barely use 2 of them.

 20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

I’m bad at consistently doing things like communicating regularly or keeping up with fics/games/weekly updates. Tbh LITG was hard for me to keep up with- I need to be able to focus and binge a thing all in one go, otherwise it seems like a chore that I’ll forget to do. So like if I ‘ghost’ you, it’s not you- it’s that I forgot that message existed entirely.

I hate tagging people so aaaaa do this if you want and tag me I love learning about mutuals. Thank you to @voile-de-lune for also tagging me- I'm sorry if someone else tagged me, this was awhile ago and it's been lost in my activity page.

[discotreque]

Disco 3.12: “There Is a Tide…”

Shoutout to whoever at CBS first realized “the Die Hard episode” was going to drop the week after Christmas, and that it would be impossible to shift up the already-rescheduled five-month slate of LwD S1 + Disco S3 to make it happen otherwise. So close…

“We are ready to ‘die for the hive,’ Captain.”

Everything was obviously going to work out. Pretty much the whole cast has been posting on social media about filming Season 4, so I knew all my faves were safe—and compared to the previous iteration of the show, S3 has been relatively gentle in the “atrocities” department, so I was never as suffused with dread as I regularly got in Seasons 1 and 2.

But this was still intense. Directed by Frakes, who predictably both blows the doors off the action scenes and gets the performers on their absolute S-game, and I especially loved the pace of the back-and-forth between the deteriorating situation on Discovery and the “negotiations” between Admiral Vance, genuinely trying to operate in good faith, and Ossyra, who’s almost literally holding a gun to his head.

A lot of people were worried Vance was going to turn out to be evil, but I was more worried he was going to end up making a heroic sacrifice for and/or inspired by the Disco crew—and he sort of does, but it’s not his life he sacrifices: it’s peace with the Emerald Chain. If the only path to “survival” is as the fraudulently legitimizing façade of benevolence over a corrupt, capitalistic criminal empire, well… that’s the destruction of everything the Federation has ever stood for anyway.

Which is, by my count, Star Trek: Discovery’s third consecutive season-ending reminder that our principles and ideals, our better natures, must inform every decision we make—every single one, in war and in peace—because a victory that costs you the ability to look at yourself in the mirror isn’t going to feel like a victory at all.

That’s not a theme that hits me the same way the interpersonal themes this season have, but it’s a valid—and extremely relevant and timely—point.

***

This show very much needs more ladies kissin’ on each other, but even I, the Biggest Lesbian, have to admit that Burnham and Book are just *chef’s kiss*.

Like, I’m not opposed to M/F pairings: give me a powerful and competent woman who prioritizes herself and her own goals + a man who provides her with emotional and logistical support and also has perfect “step aside and let her kick ass” timing, and I am fully on board: Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard; Scully and Mulder; Elisa Maza and Goliath; Lyra and Will; Parker and Hardison—if there are any Garth Nix fans in the house, Sabriel and Touchstone? All-time classic OTP, get out of here.

And god DAMN. I’ll have more to say about this later, but while Season 3 of Disco didn’t give me everything I wanted, almost every step it took was in the direction of the show I’ve always wished it could be—and one of the biggest elements was “enough emotional support for Michael Burnham that I don’t lie awake at night worrying about her going through everything she goes through alone.”

Also, idk, I was falling in love while watching them fall in love—that always makes a fictional couple hit different, you know? <3

***

I have some bad news for Ossyra (and it’s not even about how non-fatal shoving someone into a wall of programmable matter is): replicators “recycling” waste material was established in the TNG Technical Manual, and has been grossing me out since Grade 6:

In order to minimize replicator power requirements, raw stock for food replicators is stored in the form of a sterilized organic particulate suspension that has been formulated to statistically require the least quantum manipulation to replicate most finished foodstuffs….

[For a ship the size of the Enterprise-D,] the cost of maintaining a large volume of perishable supplies becomes prohibitive, especially when the cost of food preparation is included. Here, the energy cost of molecular synthesis is justified, especially when one considers the dramatic mass savings involved with extensive recycling of organic material…

Although the raw food stock is normally replaced at starbase resupply, osmotic and electrolytic fractioning of wastewater allows up to 82% of food stock to be reclaimed and reused…

That said, I have some even worse news about what all is involved in growing apples the traditional way: Where do you think dirt comes from? What do you think fertilizes it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

***

The guest stars in this episode were pretty much all great—I loved that scary lady who takes Burnham’s boots out the airlock with her!—but a few standouts worth noting:

First, RSVP Ryn! The poor guy was obviously doomed from his first appearance, so it’s kind of impressive he lasted as long as he did, but still, that one hurt. And I’m going to miss Ryn even more after hearing Noah Averbach-Katz on a bunch of podcasts: he sounds like a sweetheart, and he’s a lifelong Star Trek nerd—from the number of time he mentions Jeffrey Combs, you know he’s one of us 💙

Next, speaking of guest stars who aren’t technically new to the Disco set, I cannot tell you how much it warmed my heart when I finally recognized Kenneth Mitchell’s exceptionally kind face out of Klingon makeup. From the way he’s hanging around on the bridge at the end of the next episode, long after Aurellio has any apparent reason to still be on Discovery at all, I’m hoping he’s going to roll that cool standup mobility apparatus—I almost said “wheelchair” but I’m not sure it can be a “chair” if it’s literally designed so you don’t sit—whatever it is, may it convey him back to our screens in Season 4!

Finally: who the fuck is “Lieutenant Ina” and what the fuck did she do to Nilsson?

***

Next week, which was actually three weeks ago, and let’s be real, actually whenever I get around to it: Discovery finishes rebooting just in time to save the day... and Discovery finishes rebooting just in time to end the season.

[longinglook]

I’m going to be gone for most of the day so I thought that the best way to use up my last 10 minutes before leaving would be to write a multi paragraph post on what I think about Fighter’s behavior so here we go

(under a read more because this could get very very long)

so. fighter. our confused messy boy we are just starting to understand

i’ve read a lot of tweets/posts/comments of people that don’t understand his behavior or think that his storyline doesn’t make sense which has always left me a bit perplexed because to me everything he does seems justified and coherent to where his mind is at the moment so i’ll try to explain

but first, something about me kfmslkcls 

i identify as lesbian but i have struggled with compulsive heterosexuality all my life, i’ve spent years identifying as bi because the scary part for me was not admitting that i liked girls but admitting that i did not like boys past the occasional crushes on fictional boys and let me tell you: a lot of what fighter does/the way he thinks reminds me so much of how i was and here’s a list of things:

1) he seems a lot more at ease with same sex friends, the only times we see him with hwa you can tell that he’s forcing himself to act a certain way, he knows he’s supposed to do boyfriend things like taking her on dates and kissing but he is not comfortable with it, he tries and fails at it. of course part of the reason is because of his father but not only does he seem uniterested in her, there’s always a sense of uneasiness when he’s with her, like he’s scared of actually having to kiss her. he’s fine with the relationship as long as it’s just texting and hanging out (like a friendship would be) but he seems not to want it to become phisical. since he’s a very confused boy he’s probably blaming all of this on his father forcing him into the relationship, instead of knowing right away that he’s not interested in her

2) thinking whatever he has with tutor is just friendship and teasing: i feel like this is such a common experience for most lgbt+ folks, thinking you just have a deep friendship with someone of the same sex, only to later realize it was actually a crush and you had no idea. ex. liking the casual cuddling and touches and looking for more, paying close attention to all the displays of affection, wanting to always be close and being a little jealous of everyone else that they interact with. I feel like a lot of people go through this thinking it’s just a friendship, especially if it’s with someone of the same sex because they are not even considering the option of it being a crush. that’s why fighter keeps saying that they’re only friends and he’s behaving like a close friend would, he just doesn’t let himself consider the option because it would be way too scary and that leads us to point #3

3) being too scared to say what he wants: he does this A LOT. instead of asking for something, which would mean saying it out loud and admitting it, he just acts. words can be so scary (again making this about me, i have id’d as lesbian for over 2 years now and ive come out to a lot of friends but ive never said the word lesbian out loud because it’s just terrifying to me), and fighter seems to only use them after he has acted to justify whatever dumb shit he has done with an excuse. saying something like “i kissed you because i wanted to” would mean admitting he wants to kiss another man (meaning he’s not straight) and that man is fighter (meaning he has feelings for him). it’s much easier for him to go with the flow  and do first, explain later. and by explaining i mean lying, even to himself because deep down he knows, of couse he knows what’s going on but acknowledging it would have serious implications on his life.

also the way he reacts to tutor asking him if he likes boys is a big indicator of what's going on with him, it's his way of answering, not his way of avoiding the question. he can't say it out loud so he shows it but then he's scared of the consequences and no homos it. and the choice of replaying the question scene while they're making out shows us that fight is tormented by it, he's scared of other people asking him that as well, now that tutor has noticed it more people could as well and that's why he pulls away. 

4) on a similar note, teasing until tutor does something/not wanting to be the one to start it: this is pure fighter behavior, hoping tutor will be the one to start it so he doesn’t have to. i called this gay chicken last week, it’s fighter making everything into a challenge so he can blame it on tutor and say that he was just reacting. we can see how desperate he is for tutor’s attention, how happy he is when he has it and how frustrated he is when he doesn’t. he’s like a child who wants people to pay attention to him but doesn’t know how to ask for it, so they start annoying people. fight knows very well that he could just say hey tutor i’m here, please talk to me but how could he give a realistic reason for it other than because i have a massive crush on you meaning i’m not straight. he knows tutor doesn’t back down from a challenge and he riles him up because he has learned what that will lead them to. it’s like he knows there’s an easier way to get to that, but it’s scary so he just keeps going with his soundproof tesing tacting which so far has worked every time. also in general reacting is a lot easier than acting, again a personal example: if someone asks me if i like girls I’ll say yes right away, but if i have to start the conversation i won’t. (one thing i do a lot is to be like “hey i have something to tell you about myself but you have to guess it”)

5) backtracking/giving mixed signals: again he’s terrified, he knows what he wants but he knows what /wanting it/ implies. sometimes he follows his heart, but then his brain comes back to tell him that, hey, you’re kissing another dude and you’re enjoying it and of course he freaks out and leaves. i would be way more annoyed with him if the show had been portraying tutor as pining and in love, meaning that fighter has been giving him false-ish hopes, but after ep.6 we see that tutor himself still hasn’t admitted to himself that he likes fighter (in bold because i feel like this part is very important and often overlooked) so they are both confused about their feelings. 

i don’t think they are actually confused, they know but they are scared which in my opinion is very realistic of how someone behaves when they thought they were straight and they are not. It’s not about being dumb or being slow, it’s about realizing that once you take that step and acknowledge you’re not straight your life changes. idk how many of you are actually not straight (i assume most just because tumblr) but like…… coming out is so stressful being straight is just so much easier you dont have to do shit i wish that were me

6) his father: i feel like we only grazed the surface of fighter’s daddy issues, but he seems to be a very controlling and inflexible man, meaning that he probably wouldn’t be thrilled at the idea of his son dating another man. we don’t know about fight’s past, and maybe he has already had crushes on men and had to repress them. fighter seems to be used to a pretty luxurious lifestyle, he can’t just fuck off and go against his father because he would lose his support.

so it’s not just admitting things to himself, which can be insanely hard on its own especially if you were brought up in a traditional family, it’s also having to deal with the reactions from everyone around you

I KEEP THINKING ABOUT NEW THINGS TO ADD TO THIS POST SORRY anyway i think fighter has already shown multiple times that he does care for tor, it's just in a very shy and lowkey way because he's scared of giving himself away but he does indeed worry about tor (ex. he notices tor is stressed about his test, he tries to help outat his part time job). it also seems that in times of urgency he's more explicit about ex. offering to pay off his debt when tor was being threatened or saying he's his boyfriend when the gross cafe dude was hitting on him

also can we talk about how heartbreaking and soft fighter can be when he lets down his guard and shows his emotional side ex. telling tor nobody has ever taken care of him like that or the way he looks every time tutor pulls away first... this poor boy is touch starved and he craves affection but he can't ask for it yet. he's going to be a real gem once he can be honest with his feelings

for future episodes i think that tutor and fighter are well on their way to realizing their feelings for each other and there's going to be some development soon, but i dont expect fighter to come out to anyone else in the next few episodes because there's a lot of work to be done still. i just hope they dont pull the /i dont like boys i just like you/ trope because i WILL drop this show. so. fast. please don't ruin this character please let him accept his attraction to men fully

in conclusion. i dont blame fighter for anything he has done so far, he’s scared shitless but knows what’s going on, i trust he will soon be brave enough to start being honest with himself and with tutor

man this did NOT  take 10 minutes to write and i dont have time to proofread

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[nighttimepixels]

night how do u do it, how do u make things so gay but also pan but also hilarious?? WIZARDRY. Seriously though it's great XD it feels really organic with the girls especially. like, not forced, or so fast? slow burn but also just... organic, idk XD kinda makes me wonder what your early gay realization was! if that's okay to ask??? feels like u got ur finger on the pulse of 'oh shit i'm gay',,,

*wheeze*

Thank you so much?? (//▽//)ゞ I dunno about finger on the pulse but I do try X) Especially with the queer content! Like, most of the girls are pan (per usual, excepting Crimson, who is pansexual but mostly finds herself homoromantic, and Blade, who just id’s as a big ol’ lesbian), but I specifically wanted to write their fic from a wlw perspective. So it means a lot to hear that you think so! ♡♡♡

as for my ‘realization’ - sure, I don’t mind, heh. But it’s under a cut since it’s not skeleton-related content so people can easily skip it if they don’t wanna read. ┐(´∀｀)┌

Long story short, I was the total quintessential sapphic ‘ahaha, we’re just best friends! I’m just comfortable in my sexuality! She’s just the prettiest, coolest, hottest- oh no she can dance, oh geez I sure do love when we’re working on theater tech together and I’m up in the lighting booth helping her check the spots and oh wow she sure does look Very Good in Those Lights ahahahah-’

(=▿= ||||)

Big case of falling-in-love-with-your-bestie, basically. She was new to the state, no less, and we listened to Fall Out Boy and the Arctic Monkeys and yes even Smashing Pumpkins together,,, she got a record player when we were 16 and hoo boi the baby gay feelings when we had sleepovers and she put on a record and we ended up dancing on her bed with only the fairy lights on in the room;;; Meanwhile, she totally dated multiple guys over the years. Which, fair!

Anyways, cue her between boyfriends when we’re 16 or so, a month after our first water rave (yes, legit a thing, and yes, I legit was lowkey a raver for a few years haha - water raves were done after-hours in an indoor waterpark). Cue another sleepover, just us, this time we were in a pile of blankets in her dad’s small study (downstairs, vs all the bedrooms at her place which were upstairs - so we didn’t have to be as quiet, a perk as a teenager at 2am).

Cue her admitting that the guy she was into basically alluded to intending to ask her out officially the next week (might’ve been a school dance coming up..? probably something like that)… but her also admitting she’d been “curious” about “what it would be like to kiss a girl, y’know-” she had a friend where she’d lived previously that was into girls, etc… heh, any wlw probably gets the vague ‘oh I have a friend who, yknow-’ when trying to hedge about curiousity.

Aaaanyways… she sure did ask my oblivious self if she could ‘try it’ with me XD and my, extremely dense gay ass, sure did say “oh, okay- I mean, I’m comfortable with my sexuality! So, um, if you want to…”

… comfortable with my sexuality, mmmmmhm. (ಠ_ಠ)  legit thought I was straight, just an ally, etc. Yep.

Cue smooch that made my poor gay heart flutter. Talkin’ all the good good gay feels. How soft girls are,,, how nice it was that she smelled nice….. how pretty she looked when her eyelashes fluttered closed with the moonlight from the window of course falling over her profile, how cute it was when her leg bumped mine-

Cue me, post kiss, internally saying “yup!! totally comfortable in my sexuality!!!! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ “

I never ended up properly confessing to her, btw, but about a year later I finally internally just casually went “oh. huh. shit.” after I got a crush on another girl and couldn’t deny that one as easily XD aaaaand after the aforementioned best-friend-who-was-coincidentally-that-fateful-sleepover-night-my-first-willing-kiss, that same bestie casually invited me to a threesome-makeout with the guy she started dating (who I was acquaintancey-friends with as well). Talk about making that guy’s very confused day when his girlfriend and her best friend took off their shirts after he, looking like he was convinced he was hallucinating, agreed to the situation. Aaaaaaand another threesome makeout with her and a different guy after that boyfriend left for college.

Funny, really, bc looking back it really was a... hm. A loophole, if that makes sense? Basically, I was ‘allowed’ to kiss a girl if it was under the pretense of making a guy’s day.

I mean, still a dangerous game to play, but a loophole in the 2000s nonetheless

I was… a youth……..

XD

And hindsight makes me go “oh gods, yeah, no, I’ve been majorly Not Straight the Whole Time” but shit’s confusing in the best of times, let alone pre-2010s when millenial and older queer folk had the added fun of society being extra dumb-and-or-awful outside of the few carved out Accepting pockets. No judgement if it takes you decades, half your life, whatever. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and I respect the hell outta you and your journey!!

Live your best life, I guess is the moral?? And also go with the flow. But also, if you find yourself kissing someone of a not-’opposite’-gender and thinking “wow I sure am straight, but this happens to be absolutely the best”, maybe consider the… possibilities that you have inclinations towards the delightfully queer end of the spectrum. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° 

And now I just take that energy and pour it into making queer characters so… Woo!! Smooch a skeleton, hold hands and be soft,, insert to your heart’s content!