#THIS ISNT EVEN THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT
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Chara unironically did nothing wrong. Y'all are just victim blamers
Nearly all your faves are attempted child murderers AT BEST. Meanwhile sans chose to let a child die repeatedly and then joked about it to their face.
But no the suicidal child who internalised harmful lessons is the real villain
#oH No chara was creepy after i murdered everyone!#oH No chara was manipulative while actively carrying out THEIR OWN FUCKING SUICIDE#DO YOU HEAR YOURSELVES?#A CHILD IS COMMITTING SUICIDE!#THIS ISNT EVEN THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT#AND YOU WANT TO CRITIQUE THEIR BEHAVIOIR AS BEING TOXIC?#so many of yall are actually terrible people and i hope you never interact with an abuse victim in need of support#chara#chara dreemurr#chara undertale#undertale#good chara#vent#discourse#fuck i dont know how to tag#tempted to tag like its AO3 lmao
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no joke you turned star flower into one of my least favorite characters into one of my favorites. this is why i follow you and this is why its important to talk about this stuff. even when people are aware of these issues, it can be hard to see just how deep they run until somebody points it out
Star Flower deserves better, most of the cast of DOTC deserves better but Star Flower, Snake, and Bumble deserve the most better
She didn't DO anything man. She's not even that mean. It's super popular for people to just end up absolutely hating her because of Thunder being jealous and angry at her, but she didn't fuckin "betray" anyone, and everything Thunder is saying about her is SUPER messed up and should really have been examined!
Like... how do they unironically write Thunder looking at Star Flower, saying "YOU ONLY LIKE MY DAD BECAUSE HE REMINDS YOU OF YOUR FATHER" and just let that hang in the air?? And leave Clear Sky's internal monologue about how she's going to obey him, be more loyal to him than his "own kin" (Thunder) whomst he's actively abusing, and how he finally has someone who won't question him?
I need her to get therapy, man. I need her and Thunder to get therapy and Clear Sky to blow up.
#It's not ''betrayal'' to warn your father about an assassination attempt#the moor cats broke the terms of their deal first THEY were the ones playing dirty#But that doesn't matter because One Eye is a stinky rogue not WORTHY of a fair fight I fucking guess!!#For how much this series cries and whines about being Just As Bad or whatever the fuck#it sure does fall apart the minute that our antagonist isn't part of the in-group!#''THIS ISNT UR FIGHT :(((('' shut the fuck UP thunder it's not YOUR FIGHT either you're just assmad he came prepared!!#star flower#They don't even need to get better in therapy btw I'll be fine if they go to a class that comes up on the credit card charge as THERAPY#but they just go to pipe bomb building class or something#bone babble
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polling this to see if im crazy/entitled
#i fucking hate my roommate#sure her room is small but she has a laptop. and theres a library like a block away.#and she camps out in the living room ALL FUCKING DAY. she set up her desk in there without even fucking asking#tati is over for the first time since april and we've been trapped in my room barely able to talk bc my room is next to the living room#oh this isnt the roommate i usually talk abt here btw. we're besties. this bitch has snubbed all my attempts at friendliness#and is a stranger in my home after nearly a year
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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i saw a post the other day referencing feng xin and how it's mentioned that he's frequently in the mortal realm and it said something along the lines of "what if he was spending time searching for xie lian" and i love that and am personally 100% certain he was searching for xie lian or news of him during their time apart. HOWEVER i also got the feeling while reading tgcf that feng xin doesn't and never did give a shit about heaven. certainly not in the way xie lian or mu qing did. like yeah he takes his duties seriously and he's good at his job but i think between all the shit that comes with being a god and all of the awful prayers he has to hear he just wants to fuck off and get some peace and quiet and that's also a big reason why he's never around.
#idk i havent gotten that far in my reread yet but#i just feel like in the flashback arcs especially compared to mu qing feng xin isnt particularly dedicated to or even attempting to ascend#like especially learning about what he was up to during the first banishment it just seemed like he wanted a normal mortal future#and yes ascension isnt tied soley to cultivation. we know pei ming wasnt cultivating shit he got there through his prowess in war#im just saying him not going out of his way to try combined with certain things in the flashbacks does add to my question#maybe im completely wrong and was reading those parts with my eyes closed or asleep#and i do think he deserves godhood absolutely#i just am so curious about if he even wanted it or if it happened and he was like well this fucking sucks but okay lol#feng xin#tgcf#my dumbass
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okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.
#just a little. just a little.#i am saying this as someone who adores it and loves the characters a lot#...... but good god team plasma kinda sucks ass as an evil organization#bw2 is sorta better about them with the split factions but in the first game theyre so obnoxious and come across as strawmen#the game talks about how the world is nuanced and not black and white and its not good to take extreme sides#but then. it sorta does that with the protagonists? by refusing to talk about abused pokemon that werent hurt by team plasma?#obviously they are wrong. the game hammers it in with a mallet. but is it really nuanced if our stance is ''ha ha thats silly''#and yeah groups like plasma exist irl but like. as someone who cares abt animal rights and stuff a lot. i feel like they fumbled it here#the answer shouldnt have been ''well ig some pokemon get hurt. we wont talk about them though. watch the grunt kick a munna''#it shouldve been about animal welfare. like maybe instead of becoming assistant professor; bianca couldve become a nurse joy#or she couldve joined some organization that rescues and rehabilitates pokemon from abusive trainers. maybe the reformed plasma from bw2#and before someone goes ''erm its a kids game they cant do that :/ thats too complicated'' first of all- the anime showed a malnourished te#tepig#kids can handle a bit of text next to a skittish lillipup thats like ''its scared of humans'' or something and its being cared for by someo#someone''#plus the side games were tackling much heavier shit at this point#also again they were apparently fine with a grunt kicking a munna and bragging about how he loves doing that so.#like even as a kid i felt like that scene was really over the top and stupid#team plasma feels less like an attempt to do commentary on harmful animal rights ideas that lead to ecofascism and dont care abt the animal#true needs#and more like gamefreak read a lot of obnoxious critical pokemon posts like ''lmao training is like dogfighting'' and ''this promotes anima#abuse!'' and just made a strawman out of those people. and like i agree thats all stupid but it sorta hurts the message of the game#that the world is very nuanced and taking extremes is bad and reductive.#and this isnt getting into poor story and gameplay integration and other stuff like underutilized characters (you know exactly who i mean)#idk. again i still adore the story and have a huge soft spot for it. but i think the only reason people say its perfect is out of defensive#defensiveness and not having engaged with a ton of video game stories. and pokemon stories not being fantastic in general#like i think pla is better put together story wise than this game and its got less going on than this#echoed voice
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I'm throwing this in the fandom tags with the faintest hope someone sees it and runs with the idea.
#i haven't even attempted to draw in probably four years and i wasnt exactly a prodigy before that#and with a baby around something complex like this probably isnt gonna make it past a few frustrated first drafts#so tag time!#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#karlach#karlach cliffgate#karlach bg3
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I know the titles sound profound and all, but there is also soup and now I wanna know about soup !
But also, Drawing circles intrigues me a lot !!
Ohhhh I put off responding to this ask for so long sorry i got really shy and got stuck in my head for a moment--
MORE IMPORTANTLY IM BACK
First of all !! Have some more Soup content !! 🍲
Soup
I still don't have any good writing for the boy but have a WIP oh him beint absolutely gorgeous as always. I already hear you say : who's that kid in his arms ? Welllll
THAT'S HIS DAUGHTER, LILA :D
Surprise ! Soup has a three year old daughter when he meets the Chain when he's 25 years old. I don't want to reveal quite yet who's the mother. What I'm gonna say is : Soup had an arranged marriage with some nobility in his very early twenties and had Lila soon after.
Currently, she isn't residing with either of her parents as Hyrule (the capital and the country) is dangerous for her to stay in. The kid lives with close friends of Soup from his adventurous years and he visits her as much as he can :D
Drawing Circles
The first writing centric WIP I was asked about ! I'm literally so excited but deathly afraid of sharing my writing in any capacity so be nice to me that's also the very first draft of one scene I'm sorry
!DISCLAIMER!
The TW in hashtags are about this fic !! Beware of that before reading that snippet please.
To put some context around that tid bit : The story revolved around a time loop where only Sky remembers the previous loops. In each one, an unknown entity seemed to pull the string and kill the chain one by one in a predefined pattern. Each time Sky is killed, he comes back to square one. By the time of this snippet, he has seen and experienced very nasty moments which is why mentally he isn't coping well !!
TLDR : Sky is getting his shit wrecked in a time loop where he sees and is killed again and again :)) (I love writing gut wrenching angst I'm sorry--)
Here comes nothing~
"The first sense he regained was always the same. Touch. The hero felt the rugged linen of his bedroll under his fingertips.
Second was smell. The deep scent of burning wood tinged his nose.
Third was hearing. Only the quiet songs of insects broke the all encompassing silence of the woods.
Fourth was taste. The lingering taste of blood and sour potion spread across his taste bud.
That… wasn’t normal.
He suddenly opened his eyes. Only a sky full to the brim with stars and trees shadows responded by its calm infinity to the man. Moved by a sudden surge of energy, he stood up straight as an arrow in his bed. Eyes still glued to the enigma that was the ink black sky.
It was night. The moon was smirking high in the sky but…. It never did before. It had always been day. Dawn. Five in the morning exactly. Always the same day at the exact same time.
His eyes fell back. Lost in a sea of confusion, the chosen one took a long time before understanding what was before him. Drenched in deep shadows was the campfire and…. all his brothers. Sitting. Here. Seemingly startled in the middle of a discussion. All his brothers.
He looked at Hyrule. The brown haired kid looked back at him with a weak smile. Just after this action he averted his eyes. Away from him. Straight to the dirt. Then the hero of the Sky saw a glint reflecting the light of the fire. Steel against the dark.
Immediately Sky looked around him in search of his own sword.
“Whoah ! Whoah !” tried Warriors with a rushed sword. Strangely his tone was soft yet worried. A worry Sky had never been on the receiving end of. “Don’t move so much ! Your wound might re-open !”
….. Wound ?
That’s only then he truly felt the burning, tremendous amount of pain his neck was in. It felt like a bag of bricks fell down on his shoulders. He slouched forwards, hands holding his neck.
Sky didn’t go back to day 1. Fi was nowhere near him. The sky was this treacherous black hue. Eyes glued to the grass enveloped in harsh shadows, he stayed dead silent.
He had been…. saved ?
“... Sky ?” The old man called to him. The chosen one didn't even register the word nor that he was the one it directed to.
He smiled. His brothers had saved him. His smile widened even more. They must have done everything in their power to bring him back. A snicker rolled higher and higher in his throat. Despite their efforts to save him, someone had taken hold of Fi. By now, a distorted, devoid of happiness, small laugh was breaching his lips. Twilight must have seen it. Tonitruous, painful fit of laughter took hold of all his body.
Oh… Kind and helpful brothers of his… who ended up afflicting such a tragic agony to the one they wanted to protect.
“Sky…”
A voice.
A voice was calling his name. He didn’t listen. He couldn’t listen. He was past comprehension and rationality. He couldn’t process anything else but unbound kindness and painful ignorance. Neither of which he could truly be mad at. So he clawned at the dirt by his bedroll. Like it had wronged him. Like it was the all encompassing reason for his pain. Like it was at fault for this endless hellish loop.
And he laughed. Laughed a deeply unhappy laugh. He did so with so much resolve. So much perseverance because for weeks he hadn’t been able to. Because after weeks of this never ending hell, there was no end in sight. A hell in which, even the sweet release of death was refused to him.
Arms held him away from battered and beating dirt that had the unluckiness of being by his side. A high-pitched noise escaped his mouth. He saw without seeing multiple people around him. Shapes and shadows stretching from the dim light of the campfire to the abyss of the night.
“I can’t do it anymore…” he croaked in between two giggles. By now it could barely be described as such. Maybe sobs would have been closer to the truth. Even then, it sounded barely human. Eternally doomed and animalistic. Hands cupped his face. Big and rugged. Heavy too. His eyes searched too long before falling on one single blue iris looking back to him. Not only worried. Scared. Panicked…. Knowing of a truth even he didn’t. Soon he saw his lips. They were moving but making no sounds. Or….were they ? Was it the lips that didn’t produce sounds or he who couldn’t hear them.
The fingers of the hands around his cheeks tensed. And he knew. Something in him knew it had been the latter. So he tried to concentrate. Over the physical and mental anguish and devastation of a failed restart.
“...ky…” he half-guessed, half-heard. “Foc… us … Me.”
Focus.
Focus me.
Focus on me.
And he did. He tried. His mind was a bottomless lake he couldn’t swim back up from. It was trying to drag him down. Down into the depths. He fought the grief. He fought off the need to close back his eyes and forget all about it.
“.. Me. “ it was pressing. “Please focus… Sky.” more words stuck to his brain. He needed time to understand them but they were starting to make sense."
AND THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW-- That little bit of text made me soooo anxious for days but it's not as awful as I remember--
I got so worked up for not much lmao I hope you weren't too jumpscared by the angst my dear friend lmao I've had the idea for this fic for quite some times so I'm happy to share it
Thanks for the ask ♪♪♪♪
#TW mention of attempted suicide#TW breakdown#sky isnt doing too good in Drawing Circles lmao--#im an angsty gremlin sorry#i give you happy family Soup and suffering Sky today#first time sharing any of my LU writing ahah#i hope you'll like it even if its not much--#LU#LU sky#Linked Universe Sky#Lu writing#Writing#Ask response 💙#sweeteastfic#Sweet link meet art#sweeteastoc#original character#fanart#original art#sweeteastart
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"i like to packbond with everything" is um. a really fucking concerning statement to make when discussing AI, especially the question of if AI can reach sentience. that really should be the very first alarm bell you learn to watch for when you get into studying AI 😬
#i never formally went into AI research due to a mixture of disdain for the majority of commercial AI products + undergrad almost killing me#but ive kept up more or less with where things are at and like#a) we are still using a statistical model#b) we still dont understand how the brain utilizes its heuristics to switch between them#which is first of all the main failure of AI to generalize (or even just not hyper specialize)#when you compare it to the human brain like#the brain has all kinds of weird statistical models (approximately) right#these are heuristics#just ways of determining is thing x#we can more or less do this task with AI!#the PROBLEM is that the brain then can determine Which Heuristic Is Most Appropriate (more or less)#we have no fucking clue how it does that#or really how the feedback loop of learning actually works for meat#the statistical model was sort of our first/most popular attempt to try simulating a feedback learning loop in the brain#and like. mixed results! again! AI can't generalize and we dont even know how the brain works properly#so my personal opinion is that we cannot simulate the human brain any better with current approaches to the problem#and like. if we cant even simulate the bare bones functionality of the brain.#how the everliving fuck do you think it can simulate thought or existence?#we dont know how that works either but like its clearly generated by SOMETHING in the brains functionality#without that you got no hope of a sentient computer#flat out. it isnt happening.#what we DO know though is that the human brain is an anthropomorphizing machine#it can interpret anything as alive or humanlike#we know however this is a fucking trap in regards to intellectual pursuits#ergo: talking about pack bonding and AI study in the same breath?#you are victim to one of the human brain's fondest delusions and it will hold you back from truly studying anything on the topic#yelling at the void
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I hate to say it but a lot of the fucked up stuff in Berserk is what makes it good actually
#and i do not mean this in an edgelord way but just like#the darkness of the world makes the light parts shine harder in contrast#makes the struggle of the characters attempting to salvage their humanity and hope and relationships and happiness more impressive to watch#not to mention just how much of the worldbuilding and art style and themes are only able to be fully expressed#by including much of the more cruel and horrific and darker more imaginative stuff#i am thinking about this because of watching the berserk 97 anime btw#like im not sure i would even want to watch some of the worst parts of the berserk manga animated bc its hard to stomach#but ALSO seeing the story toned down and made a bit more run of the mill and tame and less fantastical and intense#isnt really doing it for me either?#definitely glad i was first introduced to it with the manga i just dont think any adaptation#will quite be able to compare#berserk#p
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2 sessions 2 beds 2 murder attempts
#my art#ocs#dnd#skel#friend ocs#THIS IS SILLY. more of a doodles than anything#one of these isnt even a murder attempt it just felt like it to skel. the indignity.#also the first one they were technically fully clothed too i just. forgot. skel underwear not canon
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i know there are a lot of instances where fans will say characters are canonically adoptive siblings/family when they arent really canonically speaking and it can get annoying but i dont think this is the case when it comes to noodle (gorillaz) and her bandmates. even if i think the fandom sometimes tries to slot their relationships too hard into strict unwielding nuclear family dynamics in a way i find inaccurate and less interesting, the problem with shipping noodle with her bandmates is not even primarily the fact she has been written referring to them as her family members in numerous interviews but rather the fact that if you interpret any of the older gorillaz members as forming a romantic connection with her then you are recontextualising them as a fucking creep given the whole them being her caretakers from the age of 8 thing
#'what if they only get together as adults' they have all lived together in the same house most of the time since she was EIGHT!#they are all in-universe celebrities and she was specifically a child star within that workspace/home who met the others as adults#and was basically raised by them. she still canonically lives with them as a 33 year old which i think would make implications even worse#any attempt to wring charming and cute romance within that falls flat at the first hurdle. i cant believe people still debate it sometimes#like this isnt some deep interview lore cut this is apparent from having a vague idea of the gorillaz chronology#you dont need to know she considers 2d her brother to notice that she is a child on the first album and he is not. lmfao
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Someone help. I need desperate help with drawing hands
...
"It doesn't even look like a hand"
I know I'm trying ok 😭
Does anyone have an idea of making this sketch more accurate? I'm not too sure what to do on making it more, uh hand like, yk?
I'm gonna regret posting this ain't I
Probably
Edit: suddgested by some people on discord to make the wrist thinner
#help pls#im just happy i can finally draw somewhat of a hand#this is one of my first attempts so excuses the mess#if anyone i follow see this. im going to bawl my eyes out and curl up in the corner and cry more#yk that feeling when you post some art that isnt good and then an artist you follow sees it#yeah that one#i swear i cant even post on here anymore becauseni get so embarrassed by how slow my progress has been 😭#this is a attempt and it has failed me once again#but hey atleast ive gottan slightly better? ish maybe idk 🤷♀️#beginner artist
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"you were born evil" but you still named her agatha.
thinking about that process, because it took 18 years right. you have a baby and you call her good and she turns out to be smarter than you, more powerful than you, and it scares you, you dont know how to handle that especially in a world that hates you and her already. the things about her that scare you, will scare the outside world who understands even less than you do ten times more. you dont know how to protect her so you try to control her which is like number one bad idea human response to things that scare us.
obviously this backfires and she gets even more furious in her quest for knowledge, every door you close she finds a window, every place you warn away from she gets into, talking to people she shouldnt be talking to, trying out magic she shouldnt be trying. every step she takes is one further out of your control, further out of anyone's control, every new thing she learns makes her dangerous, puts her in danger, puts your coven in danger, shes exposing all of you along with herself. shes in danger, shes a danger, shes a teenager and she knows more than you, of course shes not gonna listen to you anymore, about anything. of course shes not gonna hear a warning, and if she did she wouldnt take it, just to spite you.
what are you gonna do? youre not the only one whos scared. of her, for her. youve got an entire coven getting panicky about the way shes exposing all of you, the risks shes taking that she may or may not be able to fully understand (maybe shes never seen one of you burned before, maybe shes her own first). and if she were on her own that would be her decision to make, but you are still responsible for your coven and you are responsible for her, for her safety and for the threat she poses. so what do you do? do you even have a choice? or is this just where the mob turns. kick a scapegoat onto a pyre and hope fortune turns for the rest of us. if she cant stick to the rules in place for the safety of all, then shes a ticking timebomb. if it's not her at the stake, sooner or later it's all of you. so what can you do? what are you expected to do?
punish agatha.
#dont remember who i saw say it but when agatha is recruiting sharon and she pauses for a moment before going yoohoo#making peace with the fact that shes definitely most likely gonna kill this lady along with the witches#*points at her mother here*#anyway i dont know what the fuck like went on this is just one version#but im thinking of her ghost and like 'emotion ties them to this plane' like yeAH NO SHIT fhkjhgkj#the amount of emotion that mustve been going on here#i imagine there must have been a lot of self-convincing before her mother got to this point#i imagine there werent a lot of choices and she was kind of backed into a corner and she just had to find every reason to make this possibl#to be able to do THIS#thats the only way right?#she seems to be the leader. idk if covens have leaders maybe shes just leading here bc it's her daughter thats on trial#or maybe agatha just gets it from her mother#but like if she hadnt gone first then maybe the coven wouldve done this ANYWAY without her right?#and then she'd have lost control of the coven. maybe kicked out. her daughter would be killed either way like#idk if she considered taking agatha and fleeing just the two of them. if she rejected that as too dangerous. safety in numbers#they'd get killed if it was just the two of them#or if she never even considered it. i do get a sort of.....conforming vibe from her. which isnt weird bc standing out or losing community#is p dangerous right in the environment they live here#im more inclined to imagine her trying to teach agatha to just like. shut up. hide. conform. dont stand out. whatever you do DONT push the#boundaries#bc if you end up outside of them youre fucking toast#i can imagine that more as her attempted strategy than running off with agatha#but like obviously that wouldnt work bc agatha wants to push boundaries she wants to push boundaries so bad#i get a feeling she wants to push boundaries like the doctor wants to press buttons#yaz voice: you'd hit a hornets nest just to see what happens
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embracing the vampire autism i have going on apparently means combing through 500 vtm books and making notes on the lore and contradictions in the lore and potential implications and what was intended to be taken from some things vs things that actually make sense in context/with better research and sorting through what was included for mechanical gameplay vs worldbuilding reasons and combining all of this + the information intentionally left vague so i can form my own ideas into an amalgam of schrodingers canon with which to try to figure out what i personally tend to view as canon in-universe and then still figuring out how to insert the contradictory information/alternate interpretations in as like. character opinion/intentional misinformation/etc.
#The upside to this is i actually really like combing through a bunch of information and sorting through it. in theory.#Lowkey kind of house of leaves/arg feeling#the downside of this is i am being So Autistic about it and it is going to take So Long and also#my desire to be Accurate and the fact that this encompasses so many times and places#means that i am going to want to do So Much only tangentially related researchhelp#and there's already So Many vtm/dark ages books even without getting into the other world of darkness stuff#which at this rate i am probably going to want to get at least somewhat into#because it can canonically intersect with/affect vampire shit at times#mypost#'embracing the vampire autism' i say. as if i havent been visibly careening toward this particular collision for A While#it first i was like. no this isnt the autism. at least not any more than usual. i've always Liked this#this is.... a normal amount of liking something. sure.#.....fuck.#and the issue is. i have. other things to be doing. but here we are.#and instead im like. that unhinged conspiracy board meme from always sunny but with vtm lore#attempting to sort all of it out coherently and borderline comprehensively#which is. kind of fitting for people trying to but together all the different lore and conspiracies in-universe tbh#and kind of reminds me of when i first started researching the occult as a younger teenager#with the like. mountains of information and different loosely interrelated subjects to sift through with various degrees of sketchiness#nostalgic. anyway
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i deserve financial compensation for the amount of fucking hoops i had to jump through to enable tipping on here
#mar.txt#this is /j obviously i'm just trying to be lighthearted to cope with the Anger ha ha ha :)#oh the urge to throw my phone as hard as possible into a hard surface. but i cannot. not Yet at least. but once i get a job and can get a#new one......... this one's getting destroyed through Brute Force :)#lets see how many times did i have to re-login and redo Everything because the verification thing wouldn't accept my id picture bc it was#'too blurry' so i had to take a picture with my phone camera but i had to clear app caches first because this phone is constantly at 99-100#storage space. but Then because it fucking sucks ass and if i Breathe in the direction of another app whatever app i just tabbed off of#crashes and i have to reopen it. i had to log back in Again which meant waiting for the text message verification code Again (i live in the#middle of nowhere with a phone that Refuses to use the wifi for calls/texts and instead only uses the shitty cell service)#because Apparently tumblr users aren't allowed to stay logged in nor log in with a password. and Then i had to take a picture of the back#of my id too and i tried using my phone camera straight from the gallery option when i clicked upload. but because my phone sucks That also#crashed my browser and made me log back in. this isnt even counting btw how many times i TRIED to do it through tumblr but it kept stalling#and making me back all the way out log all the way back in and wait on it again for it to go further so i said fuck it and went to my#browser to do it. so i log back in and then i find out not only did attempting to take that picture crash my browser but it didnt even#actually TAKE the picture. so i have to click back over to my camera app Again and take the picture Again and log back in and wait the eons#it takes for things on this phone to load AGAIN. and then i Finally. FINALLY get it completed.#oh but did you think that was all? oh no i STILL had to log back in and load all the way back in Again through tumblr one final time to tel#the app i had done all that! and THEN i could turn tipping on. right?#no. i then had to close the app and reopen it again for it to Let me enable it. otherwise it just tried to take me back to stripe then#proceeded to give me an error message when i tried. great job tumblr#anyways that was infuriating#lmao i forgot to finish the original thought and check#anyways. around 7 or 8 times. that took almost a half hour of struggling i'm pretty sure. enraging☺
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