#THIS GOT A LITTLE LENGTH MY BAD
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I've officially caught up on the One Piece anime!
Took me a bit over a year cuz i was super inconsistent about watching but! Did you know that if you start watching today, at a rate of around 8-10 episodes a day (not a whole lot longer than some movies these days) you could be totally caught up by the time the anime returns in April? Now is the time!
Ok my math maybe can't fully be trusted and i didn't double check lol but you absolutely can finish if you start now and are consistent
#i technically first watched like over 10 years ago cuz i caught a little of the 4kids dub lol but it was so bad i didn't continue#a few years later i caught enies lobby arc-beginning of thriller bark on toonami but 1 episode a week was too tedious and i stopped again#then i kept forgetting/got increasingly intimidated by the length for years until finally deciding to use it as bg noise starting from ep1#and now one piece owns my soul#dolls#ufdoll#piccodo#one piece#monkey d. luffy#custom doll
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No crafting update today because I spent all my spoons checking out a local(ish) wildlife reservation/hiking place, which was awesome! I could not explore the whole place, and it is very much "only wheelchair friendly if the person pushing my wheelchair is capable of holding my entire weight against a steep slope and immediately pushing the chair up another only partially paved steep slope", but I walked the whole time*! I got to hear wolves howling through the forest and it is a whole hell of a lot eerier to hear on a foggy day in a winter forest than it was the only other time I've heard it, which was a very bright sunny day in an amphitheater at a zoo where one wolf howled alone on stage. There were crows cawing and wolves howling and it was absolutely magnificent and suddenly a whole lot of things from various fantasy novels I read as a kid hit very different. Like, I get why hearing the wolves howl in the night would be alarming now! *we did bring my rollator/transport chair in the car, and the backup plan was that my dad or my brother would go get it and push me back to the car if I needed help
#the person behind the yarn#there were other animals and educational stuff but dang those howling wolves were something else#what can I say I grew up in a city with like zero wildlife that was bigger than lizards#well okay there were crows and seagulls and pigeons but I lived so far into a city there weren't even coyotes!#when I got a little older I did move somewhere with more wildlife (including but not limited to coyotes) but no wolves#my physical stamina is absolutely terrible at the moment because of the anemia and POTS#but the meds I am on are working pretty well!#I mean. they don't make me able bodied but they mean that my heart rate might be elevated but my blood pressure is okay#like my heart rate might be in the 130s but I'm not going to pass out! which is a huuuuge improvement!#it was also good to find out that the rest of my muscles are absolutely fine with an hourish long walk across uneven terrain#like. my heart was not so cool with it but the rest of my body was fine! and that's cool!#uphill slopes are still my nemesis and today was not a good heart day so I had to take very small steps#like half the length of my foot at a time#but it was a bad heart day and I COULD walk up slopes!!!
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#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.
(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)
#Nevi Writes#things said by a guy writing a thing he doesn't even intend to be writing and it's like 10k of words now. >:[#while that's true I do want to emphasize that nobody should get excited about it right now tho okay#because like it's just. idk. I feel very much like it could end up not worth pursuing anyway. it's just a little baby wip.#(when the fuck did my little baby wips get to be 1/4-1/2 the length of my previous 'finished' stories!! what the hell)#it just feels nice to make words tho. and it does have that kind of 'ah good to catch up with these guys again' vibe which is nice.#even if the break has once again been like. on the order of days to a week maybe. I'm so bad at this taking a break business suddenly. lel.#but I don't have anything much to say about it at this point#other than I'm debating inventing a reason that presidential elections would have been moved by a couple of years between now and 2212#what is it with me and having to be so damn precise with dates in this whole narrative. am I just mad that Capcom never tries?#(yes) (so mad)#(and 2212 would actually be an election year is the problem. I want time to have passed but I also want there to be a pres. election.)#(it's fine don't worry about it)#(this is how I decided that Blucifer got bload up and then replaced also. weird reliance on mashing up IRL things and fictional explosions)#(but it's fun isn't it? got that veneer of verisimilitude. I'm good at long words)#idk this is inevitable isn't it. but I'm going to keep playing like it's not. I think I need a little more space for this one mentally.#the first one just sort of fell out of my head fully assembled and the second one did that also but with different vibes#though it did actually take some cutting things and adjusting things to make it work which Failure to Compile did not#Failure to Compile was bizarrely effortless until the mad editing dash. Outcome Unpredictable was WORK#fun work at least! but in hindsight it was definitely more work to make it flow properly.#the real job for the 3th if it happens is gonna be wrapping up threads without dropping new ones in bc that's such a habit of mine now
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part 2 of drawing every cool marceline outfit until i give up (part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5)
#in order:#marceline's closet#remember you#five more short graybles#bad little boy#sky witch#betty#princess day#dark purple#varmints#i forgot about this thing for like 2 months lol. oops#adventure time#marceline#my art#ngl doing this is sooo fun i love coming up w interpretations for adventure time's simple art style#also drawing the different hairstyles#the reason why her hairs length style and curl pattern change sm so fast is bc shes a shapeshifter and has like super restoration/healing#she can do whatever she wants#oh and all the scars (including the tattoo and stretched lobe) she has are from before she got bitten#which is why they stuck#and she doesnt actually have any healed piercings. she just shoves metal in her ear and it cant heal itself while its still there which is#why they stay but a new tattoo wouldnt. shes just piercing herself every time she wants to look cool#ive thought about this ok#and i still like giving her horns <3#+claws
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i dont want to give in to Modern Shapewear but i really hate when im trying to have a Fun Outfit and theres fucking Distinct Lines from various under wear bands (bra, undies, maybe a pair of tights?) all at separate points? that are impossible to hide bc the outer wear is fucking form fitting spandex
#toy txt post#if it were easier to make bespoke structured underclothing to create a smoother silhouette. god. i would. but thats so much more investment#in time and money and materials and hours to probably fuck it up at least the first coupke times vs just buying a fucking tummy control#camisole or some shit. but i cannot fucking stand the marketing around it. i dont want to put money to that. im not trying to Look Thinner#im trying to achieve a specific smoother silhouette w my clothing to look like a little clown and vintage silhouettes#rely so often on structured underclothing that the closest analogue to today is: fucking shapewear! unless i go out and get an actual#corset. but those tend to be more expensive. and im not aiming necessarily for the classic corset look i feel like a lot of the ones for#sale offer which seems to be very......booby. but the flatter more smoothing silhouette that was consistent between both menswear#and womenswear. the lengths it takes to be a nonbinary fucking clown. sighs deeply#also thinking again about the stupid fucking gold harley quinn jumpsuit i got like the movie that i Want to like and it Isnt Bad#but the material of the one in the movie is much thicker so its doesnt BEHAVE the same way as fucking form fitting spandex. and i know why#they did spandex. cos like. easier to sell cheaper to make fits a wider range etc. but i just want a fucking piece like that as an Actual#Garment of Clothing not a fucking spandex Halloween costume and couldnt find anything like it for less than $500. which is honestly#probably a reasonable price for labor and materials but not one i can justify? its just frustrating cos its So Close to good but the fuckin#Material just Ruins it for me and not even necessarily cos of like lack of shapewear lumpiness but like the way it drapes on the body the#way it stretches as spandex just looks Wrong. aaaaaaagaghgghghghggh#rage. anger. etc. need to learn how to sew my own shit at least a little. maybe a full length binder like 1 size up for comfort? scary#for context i also struggle with breathing from the lightest amount of Too Much Chest Compression. like sometimes bras will Get Me#so thats the other factor here. i dont know that this is necessarily looking for advice mostly im whining and complaining while doing#Nothing. ugh#also how much of this issue could be avoided if the form fitting spandex stuff had like. a lining. idk
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thinking about how i legitimately have a learning disability that was never ever caught despite [insert all the horrors] and now im an adult who has barely an elementary school childs basic grasp of math 😐🤨‼️👍
#slipping thru the cracks like water#sorry i just had a random memory of like. all the times thruout my entire life that i just. couldn't do it and thought that i was going to#grow up to be a failure.#debatable rn to be honest‼️👍#mine#i feel like i cant even talk about how little i know too. i feel like ill be ridiculed. because i have been lol!#yes ive made the effort to learn yes i went to tutoring. i just got pushed aside the majority of times because well. lol. i was coasting.#and now even doing basic math makes me actually legitimately panic. its like im reverted back to trying to do it in school and not being#able to.#i can not do mental math. i can only do some very basic stuff#i can not read fractions or decimals#i can not read big numbers#it is difficult for me to count things in a row especially if those things are very similar#i can not properly measure time or estimate the time it takes for me to get ready/leave for things. i have to plan things in advance to#extreme lengths#cant calculate a tip on the fly. very bad at estimating that. have to preplan.#struggle with coming up with how much things will cost when put together/estimating cost#super fun stuff that makes me feel infantalized as an adult 👍
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#negativity cw#mother mention cw#randomly remembering a few weeks before I started my first year of college and went off to the dorms#my mom wanted me to get a haircut#my hair was a little past my shoulders I think? And she wanted me to get it cut chin length#and I didn’t want to#and I don’t really remember the details but we ended up getting into a really bad fight#and my mom threatened me that if I didn’t get this haircut she would not help me with college advice#I.e. would not give any emotional support or suggestions#and strongly implied there might bkto be financial help either (they were paying)#so I went and sat in the car#I was actually crying because of how upset I was#And she actually told me to take a few minutes before I started driving to calm down#And I drove their and got it#And I hated myself for it so much. That I just gave in#A while later she kinda half-assedly apologized but not really#and I do t even remember why she wanted me to get it so badly#I think she thought that short hair would be easier to manage in the dorms? Or maybe I was getting split ends? Idk#Anyway six weeks into the semester I dropped out and came back home (long story)#and then i made their lives hell for the next 5.5 years while living at home and having my college adventures#Until I graduated and moved out#So I guess in the long run I won that one lol?
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A week straight of temperatures hitting minus 3 and minus 4 at night might finally have convinced my Venus Flytrap to go to bed
#i didn't leave it outside where it usually lives because flytraps aren't fond of being below freezing for that length of time#i had it in the shed wrapped in a double layer of frost covers at night and kept it in there one day when it never got above freezing#the older traps still hanging on from spring and summer have wilted a little and don't look very happy in general#but the new growth coming up in the middle is fine#it's held out on going dormant the entire winter until now which was starting to worry me#because even the butterworts in my window have picked up on the decreased daylight and gone to sleep#and not going dormant is bad for a flytrap's long term health#hopefully it's properly resting now and will come back into full growth around april
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god when i have a crush on someone its so embarrassing like i can't even look at them or talk to them but i will be so so happy if we're even at the same table holy shit
#fathericraveviolencecore#went to a luncheon the taiwanese student club at my uni was hosting with some friends from wushu and he was there.#the lunch was delicious btw they were running a whole operation with like waiters and tables and shit#and the line was OBSCENE like a friend told us to get there early so i got there about 10-15 minutes early and it wasn't too bad#at one point the line was literally almost the length of the building#i had beef noodle soup and sesame noodles and scallion pancakes and a tea egg and coconut jelly and boba and-#(they had like a set list of things you could get small portions of)#and the mile walk was absolutely worth it#but anyway i ended up chatting with my friend who was sat next to him most of the time but still. god. i feel like a little kid again#made so happy by so little#at least he's in my year so i have time
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thunderstorm came in suddenly and the second rumble was Sooooo loud and apparently hit the yard next to us and i was very nervous and did a self portrait abt it. and then horses got brought up in some way and i did another self portrait abt it. also i got new glasses today yippee
#chatter#image#coming down off the anxiety. it’s been quiet after that big boom so it’s ok i think#also it’s weird having new glasses. the last lenses i got like 5+ years ago. and the frames i’ve had since i was a kid but they were#getting broken and i needed plastic frames so i got new ones. with the fun magnetic sunglasses as a free bonus#feels weird. LOOKS weird. the edges are very warped#but i can actually read things at a distance further than the length of my body. and even closer objects are sharper than usual#fuckin wild#the height of the ground felt a little wrong. i’ll get used to it tho#plastic frames feel weird. but i was told they’re better when you have super thick lenses#it’s not too bad it’s close enough in shape to my old ones that i can adjust ok
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Besties. I started going through my dresser yesterday and found my old speak now tour shirts that I thought I couldn't wear anymore. But I can 😌
#they look TINY but they're baggy#the shoulders are a little bit tight but just barely#and they're not baggy anymore lol but they fit like a slim tshirt#and are about the same length as a lot of crop tops i wear#i got them when i was like ?? 10 maybe ?? 😭#well. the story is. i went to the shoe when i was 8 and got them#but then those shirts were lost in the house fire#so my mom replaced them i think when i was 10 or 11#and i believe she got them in a bijger size than she had at the show#i also found my red tour shirt and that one is the original from the show !! and its so CUTE#but it is stained real bad 💀💀#i dont even care. you can see how much i loved those shirts and i think thats cute
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a heart poured out until there was nothing left but gray despair. forgotten was the flow of time, the purpose of an interview being questions & answers. it had grown into a conversation, and yet was the best, most honest interview he had ever had. funny thing : hadn’t caesar been certain the seventy fifth would have been their last.
enough material produced to fill weeks of airtime for a rebellion. an hour of content cut into little pieces ( or more than an hour ? ) . whatever they needed at a given moment : the pain of killing. the fear within an arena. the nightmares that followed — this is where things had gotten too personal, a weak sob from his chest, a confession spoken out loud for the first time. the painful nights and the guilt and the faces that never left. it was easier to talk about love. katniss’ love for peeta. caesar’s decidedly lack of love and attachment. love that meant pain, that meant snow’s exploitation of weakness. they had spoken about the boy in the hospital room down some floors in district thirteen. the cruelty of a mad king who did not shy away from hurting anyone as long as it meant a gathering of control — succumbing to power. it was the reason for their rebellion.
caesar knew his purpose in front of the cameras. years upon years, a spokesperson for the regime itself. not much had changed that interview — just a different regime, a different kind of control sought ( none of those things said out loud — he was many things, but certainly no fool ). but he had known what was expected. not only the showcasing of the capitol’s prized possession called caesar flickerman on the side of the rebellion ( a shocker to many loyalists, surely ! ) but he had been an example. important for everyone to see how no one was safe. it had been a topic to divulge into during their interview-turned-conversation. recent memories flashing back, a retelling of what had happened.
it was a relief when the conversation thinned out. when his best friend’s rumbling voice called for a " cut " . the mockingjay left, but caesar stayed behind.
the stage empty ( as tiny and rudimentary a stage it was ) . the applause that had died down. it were only a few steps to the crutches, but he imagined every movement to be a tiresome one.
drained. nothing but drained. caesar hadn’t noticed the gray shadow, the pale woman and her pale eyes. the back of his hands wiped away at tears, blemished cheeks still hurting. it had been vital for their efforts to let panem see him like that, but he felt naked in front of her. how exposing, terrible, truly.
>> @alyafae
#* iv : « arc. three » // one man in his time plays many parts#alyafae#lol this got a little long my bad#no need to match that length !#i just figured to give some kind of breakdown on the propo :)
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my general loathing of the new sims infant update vs the rest of the people who lobbied endlessly for years on end to 'free the babies!' and got it and (imo) ruined the game feels a lot like
#have thought multiple times while playing 'wish I could throw this fckn thing out a window jfc STFU'#ALL they do is cry. even when nothing is wrong. and because of how they have coded the game#if they cry the parent drops everything to go check on them#like the baby is FINE it's just 'gassy' fuckin let it squall who fucking CARES?#they are little fckn DEMONS. their energy is ALWAYS low no matter what if they're up for a feeding their exhausted#BUT THEN they immediately shit their pants and have to be woken up for a change#I thought the game was supposed to be FUN not fuckin infuriating I didn't have any problem#with the nerfed ass fckn babies and then toddlers#and like it's so bad idk if it's JUST cause it's twins but it makes me NEVER want my sims to procreate again#which sucks cause I was kinda a legacy player but this shit is so NOT fun it's like FCK man I wanted a game!#not wake up to feed the baby at 2am I've got to great lengths IRL to avoid doing that#why would I want it in my fucking game?#sims stuff
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I- if you gave me a good quality drill, some nice noise cancelling headphones and a wall I may go ham on...
I will drill so many holes. It is so unbelievably fun I wish I could just do that whenever I feel like it who cares about actually hanging anything up.
5 am is the best time to get the drill out and hang stuff up because it's when the walls are at their softest
#I will say#five am is also a fantastic time to hammer nails into the walls#one time I did that and thought oh gosh this is gonna make so much noise my weirdly stuck up neighbour who looks like a hippie is gonna#come here and complain again#but to my great surprise#the hammering was silent#and to be perfectly honest#I was disappointed. I bet that wall laughed at me and said “that's the best you've got?”#actually I had a dream last night#of stealing some massive screws from a hardware store...#I'm talking the length of my forearm#my dreams are speaking to me... I wish I did have them though they'd be perfect for attaching an awning to a building#the last time I did that was such a struggle but it'd be worth it#listen I'm not that petty of a person; I try to be nice and have a positive impact on others#but this neighbor of mine... I want to piss him off sooo bad and act like it wasn't me. 5 am drilling should do the trick...#he's just such a whiny little fucker! “It's sunday you can't be doing that right now” stfu you're the one with the cheap ass drill that#makes the walls squeak and whine like they're dying#you're torturing them! and me! get a proper drill! like mine#it goes through the walls like they're butter#uhm anyways#drilling and hammering are fun especially at night and I want yo do so more often. any time of day after 3 pm will do though...
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two days ago i got my hair cut for the first time in 9 years by someone other than me and it looks worse than if id done it myself drunk like <3 i’ve been sentenced to 4 months of ponytails
#i was tired of doing it myself i was like ok i’ll just let someone else do it and like. i couldn’t have done this bad on accident like#i’ve been doing it for so long i finally got it right but i was tired#and i was like i want short choppy layers and a little shorter bc it was waist length again so i was like mid tit for the summer then#and so i showed her my pics from pinterest of cute choppy whispy layers and i was like this and she was like ok like the butterfly cut#and i was like yes bc i did that in march and ngl it looked really good but mine was messy of course#so anyway she cuts off like 6 inches and gives me small step ladder layers like ????? i was doing layers better with a razor when i was 14#like anyway. not to be a leo rising but i’m so upset <3#worst of all is that i paid money for it if i wanted to ruin my hair i absolutely couldve done that for free#it is so short it’s above tit like i havent had my hair this short in 10 years i hate it❤️#it’s so blunt on the bottom and it just does not look good. i’m going to drown myself fr
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