#THIS 👌 close to depression

[sheep-turtles-and-pizza]

You can always count on your fam to cheer you up uwu

[akkivee]

Vee, please, I'm begging, would you mind sharing a cap of Toki's reaction to Sasara's ability?? He makes the best faces sometimes so I just have to see it if you're willing to share!

cackled out loud again seeing his expression lmao

[dorkacademia]

im not feeling mentally wellllll <3

[revitalizationrat]

The recent chapter of Cass apocalyptic series by @somerandomdudelmao almost made me cry (TдT) it was so beutiful💖 so I had to release some of those emotions and drew this.

I had this thought that Donnie and Casey basically cheated death and are succesfully bringing their loved ones back to life. Something that Orpheus failed to do, despite being so close to success...

Just a silly thouhgt that brought me to greek mythology and literature

Because the text is a fragment from 'Lament XIV' by Jan Kochanowski

He wrote a total of 19 laments dedicated to his dead daughter that are beautifully written journey through grief, sadness, depression, faith crisis, reflections on life, death and yourself that lead to hope for better tomorrow❤

Truly beautiful piece of literature. I highly recommend it👌

[alwaysforevermaybenever]

YANDERE REGRESSOR: INTRODUCTION

× cw: yandere stuff; gaslighting; manipulation; stalking; threatening; assault; pretty tame actually

× note: this is like luca from change the genre but older and probably worse 👌

⌗ Your very best friend since childhood! He’s a noble of a high class family full of legendary knights and warriors.

⌗ Honestly, he used to be such a sweet, polite child who worked hard and did no wrong to any person or beast…. but that all changed when he turned 16. At first you and everyone else brushed it off as adolescence and teenage rebellion, as all boys go through. It was subtle, but you’ve been with him all your life, so of course you’d notice the little differences. 

⌗ Like how he seems more subdued (and even… depressed when he thinks you’re not looking), and he only smiles out of courtesy (in front of the adults). He just seems so much older than he is, as if he’s shouldering the burden of the world on his shoulders - lifting up the weight of the sky all by himself.

⌗ There’s also unexplainable things about him. Like how his swordsmanship techniques and skills improve by leaps and bounds in what seems like overnight. Instead of watching a prodigy train, it’s more like watching an experienced soldier who has seen the gore and horrors of war as he sharpens his blade, prepared to fight for his life once more. Like how he knows five languages even though you’ve never seen him study them (and you’re by his side almost all the time, because your families have close friends. Companions, even). Like how he knows more about your trade of magic and sorcery then even you know, a sorceress-in-training. What gives???

⌗ He’s also… way more overprotective and, dare you say, possessive. Yeah, he’s always been the one to protect you from insignificant bullies who are jealous of your position and prestige, and the one who shields you from scalding insults (baseless, he calls them all. They don’t know anything!) and defends you when jealous fools question the work you poured blood, sweat and tears into.

⌗ You don’t mind it, really. You can understand why he acts like you’re his one and only companion - because you are. You may have a million acquaintances, a thousand friends, a loving family. But only one companion: him. You’re a little selfish, because you’re scared that he’ll leave you for someone else, someone more skilled, someone better looking, someone who is in perfect synergy with him.

⌗ He’s your favourite boy, the guy you’ll depend on to comfort you when you’re down. The person you trust with all your deepest, darkest secrets. The companion who will stick by your side through thick and thin, who will help you bury a corpse, who will lie to any and everyone if you just ask him to. He who puts you before all else. 

⌗ So why do you feel like something’s off when he swears he isn’t hiding anything from you? When he just shrugs off your uneasiness (because you always feel eyes lingering on you when you’re not with him) as paranoia, because you’re in the city! Of course someone will look at you. It’s just a passing glance, anyway.

“Let’s go to the bookstore! There’s a newly released book I want to buy.” You link your arm around his, grinning excitedly. 

“You wanted to buy the newly released book of your favorite author, right? Isn’t the author something like Lemonela?” he responds, treasuring the close proximity with you. 

Your blood runs cold. “But I just discovered her this morning. I haven’t told anyone about it yet. How did you know?”

⌗ Uh oh. How is he going to explain that he’s traveled back in time?

[softxsuki]

Hey (again)! Ive come back again with another urgent request (sorry) I was wondering if you could do a suicidal reader x nanami the reader is a sorcerer and powers are : they can technically spawn anything from a portal including void swords abd all that stuff - they can also blind their enemies with their powers.

Thank you and even though it is an urgent request take your time and have rest ,sleep and stay healthy (here's a star ⭐ for your hard work) ! My parents are fighting right now and I'm currently upset from the past few days and this 👌 close to giving up but then I remember people that r here for me including you but have a great night and thank you 💞

Nanami with Suicidal S/O

PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF SUICIDE WILL DO YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD

IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW IS STRUGGLING WITH THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP.

Pairing: Nanami x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of suicide attempt, wanting to die, reckless abandonment, depression, crying, hopelessness, desperation

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 730

Summary: In which you're on a mission with Nanami and instead of fighting back, you stop and give the curse a chance to kill you, but not before Nanami steps in to help

[A/N: Hey again! Knowing you came back for another urgent request just is proof enough that you enjoyed my writing and that means a lot! No idea what you're going through in life, but I hope this helps you out, even if it's just a little. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to <3 hope you enjoy!]

Nanami:

Nanami holds your life dearly to him

Your life is precious to him, a life force that he’d never put on the line; he’d sacrifice himself if it meant keeping you alive and well

Loss was a part of his job, he’s already lost countless friends and students, he couldn’t lose you–that would break him

So on one of your missions together when he saw you just stop mid-battle as a curse was seconds away from tearing you apart–he raced into action, adrenaline coursing through him as he ran faster than ever to get you

Your portal was open, it was there for you to easily defeat the lower level curse before you, but you just stood there

That’s when he knew 100% that something was going on with you

He’d seen little signs of it before, like seeing you distance yourself from him little by little, noticing the dark circles under your eyes, your sudden reckless actions, mood swings– all the signs were there, yet you managed to cover it all up so well

It wasn’t until this very moment that it became certain you were trying to die–you were trying to leave him all alone, how would he move forward without you–the love of his life?

This mission was supposed to be simple, he invited you for the sake of spending more time together since you were slowly pushing him farther and farther away

Almost losing you wasn’t in his agenda for the day

He could feel his pulse echoing in his throat as he pulls you away from the curse, quickly exorcizing the last few curses before approaching you

His adrenaline is still racing, so his initial response is rage

“What were you thinking?! Were you really trying to get yourself killed?! Your portal was open, why did you freeze up like that?” He chokes up on his words, falling to his knees before you as tears fall from his eyes, this snaps you out of whatever trance you’re in

You hadn’t seen Nanami so worked up to the point of crying since he lost Haibara back in high school, that’s when you realize what a mistake you almost made

“I-I’m sorry” it’s the only thing you can manage to say to him

He tries to calm himself down, feeling exhaustion hit him from the sudden adrenaline rush

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, I just…I almost lost you. I can’t allow that to happen. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you that you felt like this was your only option, but I can’t lose you, Y/N. I love you so much, you’re my everything, please don’t leave me. Please” he begged, taking your hand in his as he leaves kisses to the back of it, scared to let you go, in fear that he’d never feel the warmth of your hands again, never feel your heart beating against him again…he was terrified

You didn’t think being gone would affect someone so much, sometimes you forgot that you had people in your life that really cared for you, your depression clouding your mind so much

It isn’t until you both go back home and settle down when you open up about your struggles with him

Your internal battles and your troubles at home that all became too much to handle at times

He’d quietly listen to every word you had to say, tracing circles on the back of your hand whenever you stopped speaking at times, finding it difficult to emotionally open up to someone, but he was there. He cared. He really cared

Nanami would ask you what you’d like him to do; of course he’d help in his own way, like asking if you’d like to speak with a professional for help, but if not, he’s more than okay with helping you in any way he can

Moving forward, he keeps a closer eye on you, whether it be holding you more often, inviting you out, staying at home, talking things out–he’d go to the moon and back if it meant helping you feel better and not wanting to leave this world without him

One day at a time–you just need to get through each day one by one, and you’re definitely not alone, he’d be right by your side, taking your hand and walking every step with you

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 08/28/2023

[olympeline]

I’ve got Alfred on the brain lately. When it comes to the cast of Hetalia, Arthur will always be my favourite - I think that’s pretty obvious, heh - but when it comes to the character who fascinates me the most? IDK, man. My motherland might not actually take the top spot. Or if he does then Alfred comes in a very close second.

Alfred, to me, is one of those characters who seems really basic when you first encounter him but if you scratch the surface, you’ll find something deeper. You watch a couple of episodes and the first impression is he’s just your typical “dumb ol’ American” stereotype. Cheerful, enthusiastic, and brave but arrogant with it. Eager to help the other nations but talks over them and uses himself as a world map. Powerful, winner of the Cold War, and the current leader of the West. Burgers, guns, aliens. You know the story. Plenty of funny moments but nothing groundbreaking here. National personifications are old as balls and a dime a dozen, and most Americas will dutifully tick all the boxes I just mentioned. Alfred doesn’t seem so special at first.

But then…I don’t know. It starts with his Closet Cleaning/Indepence arc. Alfred wins of course but at a crucial moment he fumbles and Arthur gets the drop on him. Alfred, the future superpower, freezes up and is helpless albeit just for a moment. It’s intriguing. Little details like that are what make Alfred so much more fascinating to me. How easy would it have been to reverse the roles and have Arthur at Alfred’s mercy? It would make sense since Alfred is the ultimate victor in their clash. But no, we get that little touch instead.

Then there’s stuff like the Great Depression arc where you’d expect Alfred to be either angry and defensive or overly flippant about the mess he’s caused. But then no: he’s contrite. You can tell he’s genuinely sorry for what he did. Or how about that Christmas strip where he’s sad to be left out of the shenanigans happening in Europe. Asks Francis and Arthur to please include him next time but also seems kinda resigned? As if he doesn’t believe they will. Does he think two of his closest allies don’t actually like him? He looks down on his brother before he starts gaining independence. But once Matthew becomes a dominion through diplomacy then Alfred is amazed and even seems a little jealous? Does that mean he would have also liked to break away from Arthur peacefully if he could? But he’s so proud of his hard won independence at the same time. I don’t know, man. No idea what makes this boy tick sometimes. There’s loads more examples I could list.

That’s what Alfred is to me. The TLDR version is he’s a character who starts off zigging every zig you’d expect him to. Only to zag unexpectedly every now and then. Enough to always keep me just a little off balance and make me want to go on puzzling over him. I love characters like that ✨👌

[mcrololo]

now you give me some beca and chloe/bechloe/barden bellas songs to listen to bc i Struggled with mine aahhh

lmao I made a playlist for both of them back in 2020 filled with songs that remind me of them one way or another. they're almost 60 songs each by now sgfsjf (which is relatively tame for me tbh). here's beca's and here's chloe's in case you wanna give them a listen, but I'll give you 3 songs according to shuffle and why I put them on there!! (otherwise we'd be here all day lol)

Beca

Day is Done by Chef'Special: There is something about their sound that just screams Beca Mitchell to me fsr, but this song fits her imho because I headcanon her with insane insomnia. The singer starts extremely depressed ("my heart asleep and my days don't end") but then the bridge hits and he decides he's done sleeping. That alone is so pp1 Beca, and to some extent pp2 Beca as well. The second verse, specifically the part of "I got love and I can't be a lover, I got hate and I can't be a hater" feels like a very close struggle to her. And also the idea that when Beca gets severly depressed she doesn't even want to listen to music? 👌

Ok I don't know how this happened because there's like 58 songs in there but I got another Chef'Special song (Afraid of the Dark). I will skip the why in favor of other artists.

I'm A Wreck by AWOLNATION: This song starts very slow and only has a couple of (repeated) lyrics, but the instrumentals change based on the words and state of mind of the artist, and I think Beca Mitchell would go batshit over that. But also it fits her personally, because, yeah, she IS in her head forevermore and she DOES struggle with imposter syndrome.

Simmer by Hayley Williams: Okay I'm actually so glad this one popped up, this song is fantastic and I love her. The instrumentals are pretty soft, but the lyrics are full of rage. This contrasts with the pretty laidback attitude Beca shows in the first movie UNTIL her dad is around in almost every scene. There is so much anger in her about her childhood and it shows, but she tries so hard to stay normal about it (and simmer down). Also the line "how to draw the line between wrath and mercy"? I go feral every time. I like to think the "wrap yourself in petals of armor" retains to Chloe, but that's just my shipper heart working overtime lol.

Chloe

Omarm by BLØF: I HAVE to put this first for Chloe even if it's in Dutch and hardly anyone will understand the lyrics. Omarm means "embrace" and it's a highly romantic song, where the singer asks his lover to spend the rest of their life together. (Lief ga dan mee / en omarm me / omarm me / en breng me nergens heen -> Love come with me / and embrace me / embrace me / and lead me nowhere). The bridge begs the lover to embrace everything about the singer, the shortcomings, the past, the bitter and the bad, and that is also when the song really picks up in intensity. I don't know, there is something about it starting off with soft instrumentals before bursting with passion that is so Chloe Beale, and I feel like THIS is her, she keeps most of the anxiety in, but in truth she just wants someone to see her for her, warts and all. (Also BLØF is one of my all time favorite bands! Their songs are so good and the lyrics just Hit)

Bloom by The Paper Kites: I don't think this one even needs explaining. Please give it a listen. It's one of my most listened to songs because I love it to bits (and also this played at my wedding!!)

I'm Good by The Mowgli's: The funky beat just makes you wanna dance. And the lyrics? "I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good / Living life just like I should / Wouldn't change it if I could / I'm good, I'm good, I'm good" <- pp2 Chloe-core. The first few lines of the first verse, too. Chloe is someone who lives her life in the now, doesn't think about future plans, just goes with the moment; it results in her not knowing who exactly she is, but that's completely fine! More people should be okay with that, honestly. She'll find herself in the activities she likes, in the people she adores, and the places she visits. Also "There's a lot of love in this place", do I need to say more? Every lyric of this just screams Chloe Beale's extraverted side. (And verse 2!!! is pp1 Chloe!!!)

Anyway I'm done yelling about the songs now. Unless one of them confuses anyone, I'd be happy to explain my thought proces shfjsj

[estro-gem]

Zooble x Pomni (Platonic): Build the bridge to burn another.

Author's note:

Friends! Friends friends friendsfriendsfriendsfri-

Okay, now that that's out of my system, I present to you; probably the most unpopular pairing to exist in this fandom! In this AU, I've always seen them being very good friends that will insult each other to their hearts content. Neither backing down or holding back and definitely no false pretension.

I might be one of the few who supports this pairing. Zooble has no time for bulsh*t and Pomni is continuously losing her sh*t.

It's perfect, I tell you, PERFECT👌

And finally, Caine is mentioned in more than two sentences. I'm not going to go beyond what I'm about to say: It's a slow start. Interpret it any way you want. :)

That is all.

Warnings:

Not recommended for minors or readers that are sensitive about mental illness, psychotic episodes and existentialism. This story also contains ANGST:

Psychotic episodes

Dissociation

Depressive episodes

Suicidal thoughts

Triggers

Foul/suggestive language.

Fun fact: I almost sent myself down a very dark, familiar hole while writing about Pomni's mindset. I'm ok, though!

SUMMARY:

Pomni is having a hard time after an interesting and revealing conversation she had with Caine. To make matters worse, the jester is pushed to her limit by Zooble's shameless, apathetic mannerisms. She would never understand why they suddenly wouldn't leave her alone, after weeks of receiving the cold shoulder.

BUILD THE BRIDGE TO BURN ANOTHER

Pomni was frozen in place as she desperately tried to wrap her head around the situation that she found herself in.

It was a tough morning leading up to this point, having had little-to-no sleep the night before. It was odd; everyone kept telling her that she technically didn’t need sleep and sustenance, but she felt tired. She was exhausted to say the least. It came to a point where her new life was just floating by with each passing moment, as if she was a mere spectator.

At least, it made things easier to move along, only to start off with the next thing.

The night before, Caine, the ringmaster himself, pulled Pomni aside. She didn’t know if she’d ever get used to the fact that he looked like a pair of glass eyes that were accidentally misplaced in a set of dentures, but beyond that; he had thoughts and opinions, like a human had. It was hard to believe that he was one of the few individuals that she interacted with daily, that weren’t human, but advanced A.I.

While it was miracle, he was horrifying, like a monster from an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog.

How did she recall a television show, but not her own name?

“Pomni! How is our newest member of The Amazing Digital Circus adjusting to her brand-new life in the Digital Plain?” He enthusiastically spoke, like the showman he was programmed to be.

“Uh…” poorly.

There was no question about it; she was adjusting poorly, but she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him, “I’m alive… I guess?”

“Why wouldn’t you know… you are right!” Caine triumphantly bellowed, before leaning in too close for the jester’s comfort, “At this rate, you just might beat the record of characters who held out the longest without dying when they first arrived.”

“Wait a minute!” the fool interrupted him just before he could say anything else, “We can die here? Like, pushing up daisies? Final breath and all?”

“Of course, you can! Once your health bar runs empty, you die.” Caine said with an inappropriate amount of chipper.

Pomni felt something foreign rise withing her chest. It felt like hope, with an overwhelming, bitter aftertaste of mind-numbing dread. She found her mind darting to a very dark place – a place she never thought to find herself in. If death was an outcome in this world… and others have died before her…

Did she find an escape, after all?

“Don’t look so disturbed, my dear.” Caine’s light pat on her shoulder ripped her back into reality, as his touch, although artificial, left her flinching into herself. He seemingly paid her reaction no mind. “It will only be a for a few moments! After that, you will respawn and stumble your way back into the position you were before you died – or well, sometimes you’ll respawn a few feet away from that position, but my point still stands!”

The foreign feeling within Pomni instantly dissipated into a bland numbness. Of course, there was a respawn mechanic; how could she ever believe otherwise? In her excitement, she didn’t even consider the logistics of the other characters still being there. Caine’s statement about ‘’holding out for the longest’ suddenly made more sense, but she didn’t like that it did.

There truly was no escape from The Amazing Digital Circus.

Caine’s interrogative questions didn’t end there, but she couldn’t remember much anyway. She vaguely remembered that the ringmaster asked her if her room was to her liking and if she had made any friends so far. His questions were interluded with a monologue following each short answer she gave. She was sure to answer whatever it took to get away and hide in her room as soon as possible.

As it came to be, the jester soon realized that it was foolish for her to have thought that she would be able to keep up a normative façade for that long.

It was an effort to swim through the stale molasses that her mind had become in such a short time.

At one point, she didn’t bother responding, but for a moment, something had her believe that Caine’s tone eventually lost its enthusiasm and greatly decreased in volume. Maybe, at one point, he just stared at her with some unseen form of disdain, but she wouldn’t know – she was too far withing the depths of her mind’s molasses; drowning.

Drowning with the inability to die, forever preserved in the heavy sludge.

Unable to swim up for air. Unable to degrade into the depths.

And yet…

Caine somehow managed to pull her back for brief moments that were long enough for her to have a series of small, fleeting, but coherent thoughts. It was ironic that the showman managed to gain the most attention when growing silent and unenthused. If Pomni had known any better, she would believe that he was being empathetic; helplessly dragged down by the jester’s empty husk that simply chose to stare back at him.

But Pomni did know better.

The ringmaster was probably programmed with a series of reactions and animations in response to people not following the prompt that he gave. She didn’t care at the time, and she doesn’t care now. An A.I. couldn’t feel anything… and at that moment, Pomni hated the fact that she could empathize with Caine too.

She couldn’t feel anything.

SHE COULDN’T FEEL ANYTHING.

It took a moment for Pomni to realize, but Caine was suddenly gone. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but she found herself alone in the uncomfortably large common area. It should have been unnerving just how quiet it suddenly was, but the numbness clung to damper the little fool’s emotions.

She looked down at her hands and flexed her fingers before her mind could command them to do so. It was as if she was separated yet housed within her own body as a spectator. Her legs started moving, but she didn’t know or care where they were taking her. She just knew that she was moved by her body’s own tuition.

The hallway leading to their rooms slowly came into view. It was small, but a comforting feeling gently caressed Pomni’s otherwise distant heart. She was finally able to collapse in her room!

She walked down the hall with no thoughts beyond whatever came into view.

The sounds of struggling and inhuman screaming didn’t phase her too much, until her slow mind comprehended that Jax was fighting and thrashing in retaliation for being intimately intwined with the ribbons of Gangle.

The jester had never seen the smug rabbit act as he did then. He was beyond himself – as mindless as a brick – and desperate. It was unmistakable that he was desperate as he relentlessly fought and reached for the door in front of him. His pupils were blown, and his jaw was slack, causing only the tips of his teeth to gleam in a menacing taunt. The rabbit’s body was practically bulging as the limbs fought against the mighty restraints, but only able to occasionally have his claw nick the door before him.

The door was littered with deep gashes that left small trenches within the sold wood. There were splinters and wood shavings laying at the foot of the door, while long, spindling spirals sprouted from the flat surface. Additional to the craving into the wood, the profile hanging on the front of the character’s room was also assaulted.

Three ugly gashes ran down Ragatha’s face.

It was only a matter of moments before the fighting evolved into the quiet sound of panting and incomprehensible, murmured whispers.

Finally… FINALLY, the confusion sparked Pomni’s mind back into action and she was met with Gangle’s displeased reaction upon spotting her. She dragged Jax down the hall to disappear into her room, followed by Ragatha leaving her room to inspect the damage to her door as if nothing was wrong. The conversation the girls had, was only effective in highlighting two things that Pomni already knew.

Ragatha was delusional beyond help.

Pomni had enough for one day.

While sleep didn’t claim her that night, the little jester’s quiet, dark room was welcoming.

…

Morning came too soon for her liking, and while her mind was clearer than the night before, Pomni’s motivation to get up and leave the confines of her room was unfounded. She did eventually leave to find herself idly waiting in the main area, but she couldn’t understand why.

There was no aim – there was no goal.

There was no end and there was no point in anything. She never thought that she would long for the privilege to say that she would simply live until the day she died. There was no end. She would live this life day after day, for eternity, with no purpose.

It was an endless desert with no end to its borders. Only the merciless sun in the empty sky, with sand dunes that stretched into the ether of the unseen horizon. Growing taller and taller, the dunes loomed over Pomni, who was sinking into the golden sand.

It was then, when a soft voice shook her to her core, effectively ripping her out of her own mind. Pomni was left frozen in the situation she found herself in.

“You really opt to live on the edge, huh?” Zooble spoke with a bemused tone as she stood behind Pomni, with her weight shifted onto one leg.

The jester didn’t mean to, but she swung around so fast, that she lost balance and stumbled forward. She knocked into Zooble before they could react, and they both ended up sprawled out on the floor. Profusely apologizing, Pomni got to work. literally picking up the pieces of Zooble, who’s only complaint was an eyeroll. The little fool’s mind was rushed into a blind panic. She didn’t know how to comprehend the situation; if the abomination fell apart on a regular basis or if it was painful? Traumatic?

“I’m so, so sorry!” Pomni said, cringing as she held the arm and leg out to Zooble, hating how they still wriggled and resembled someone’s touch despite being severed from the body.

“Ugh, would you quit it?” the Zolo-being scoffed, “You totally ruined the vibes-”

“I know! I- I don’t know what came over me, I just lost balance and-”

“Ok, first of all…” Zooble cut off Pomni’s rambling as they stood up having been reassembled once again, “…you don’t interrupt me. You got that, pipsqueak?”

Pomni nodded, “I’m sorry, I-”

“I’m still not finished.” the colourful character interrupted again, with an annoyed, yet even tone. At that time, Pomni reluctantly kept silent as Zooble continued, “Second of all, I can’t be mad at you being a klutz when I literally fall apart every day. Forget about it. Lastly, the vibes I was referring to, was the depro schtick you got going on before. I was digging it, and you went and ruined it.”

There was a silence that stretched for a moment, as Pomni left enough room for Zooble to add whatever they wished without risking being interrupted again.

“Earth to Pomni?” The Zolo-being waved a hand in front of Pomni’s face, “You good?”

“May I speak now?” Pomni spoke without thinking – her tone a little too hostile for her own liking.

The creature huffed a laugh, “Yo, I like this! Do more of this.”

“More of what?”

“You! More of you!” Zooble shook their head while seemingly getting lost in thought, “You actually have a personality beyond ‘I’m sorry!’ and ‘Woe is me!’”

Something about what Zooble said flipped a switch in Pomni. It was an ugly switch.

Pomni felt the fright and frazzle melt into bitter distaste for Zooble’s implications. Before she could count her words, it just slipped out without warning. She noticed her surprising and unannounced sarcasm a bit too late after the words left her, “Oh geez, thank you! That’s such a thoughtful thing for a rejected arts-and-crafts project to say!”

“Wait, WHAT?” Zooble cried out like a kid in a candy store, before laughing with genuine glee, “Depressed AND sassy? Girl, where have you been?”

Pomni pushed away the urge to apologize for what she said before. Instead, she was dumbstruck with just how… happy Zooble seemed with the situation, “…What is wrong with you?”

This place was demented! These people – if she could even call them that at this point – were all insane. The jester had enough. She didn’t want to be there anymore. Things just HAD to continue in the Digital Ciircus, didn’t it? The show must go on, mustn’t it? Well, Pomni didn’t want a part in it! She just wanted to be somewhere else. She wanted to be something else.

She’s had enough.

She decisively turn on her heels and walked away to spare whatever sanity she had left. It felt good to be MAD. She had reason to be ANGRY and it felt GOOD.

“Wait, Pomni wait!” Zooble stopped her laughter to catch up on Pomni’s strides, “Where are you even going?”

“Anywhere that’s far away from all of you!”

“And you think I’m gonna pass up a chance to ditch?” Zooble walked beside Pomni, who refused to look up at her, “Why are you so triggered anyway?”

Pomni rolled her eyes when she left the tent and sighed in exasperation at the sound of Zooble hot on her tail, “Oh, am I supposed to thank you for calling my personality one dimensional?”

Pomni had no idea where she was going, but she was going somewhere.

“The ‘woe is me’ thing? You know I mentioned two things, right? So that would probably make you…” Zooble sounded much too pleased with herself for Pomni’s tolerance to stand, “…2-dimensional?”

Pomni stopped the throw Zooble a filthy look before eyeing them up and down, “You are unbelievable.”

“And you’re more chill than I thought.”

“What about me WALKING AWAY and wanting to BE ALONE, makes you think that ANY of this is ‘chill?’”

“Well, for one; you are finally done hiding behind that meek little mask of yours.” Zooble said almost accusingly, causing Pomni to stop, but not turn around to look back as Zooble continued, “You grew a pair to finally show just how DONE you are with this place.”

Pomni turned around, “What does it matter? Whether I try to be nice… whether I’m angry or sad – it doesn’t change anything! We are trapped here, and you people just go about your day singing kumbaya?”

“Who knew you’d be this spicy.” Zooble said with a taunting smirk, watching Pomni pour her heart out like it was a comedy show.

“You are insufferable!” Pomni accused, walking up to the Zolo-being and poking them harshly in the chest to emphasize her point. When Zooble didn’t react, she growled and walked off as she did before. She still didn’t know where she was going, but she was too overwhelmed to stop.

Stubborn, as always.

Much to her demise, the character walked after her, unbothered and silent, as if they were simply enjoying a stroll in the green, rolling hills. The jester didn’t bother looking back again. There was no way to leave this realm, anyway; and she highly doubted that Caine would leave her roaming as she pleased for an indefinite amount of time. She was sure he would just summon her at will.

Until then, she would allow herself to breathe.

In any other scenario, Pomni would have allowed her thoughts to drift along the rolling hills she was walking among, but she was too distracted by her outburst. She was climbing a hill, not knowing what she would find on the other side, but she also didn’t want to stop either. Her own resilience was like a puzzle with jagged pieces for her to put together. She was driven to push through obstacle after obstacle, even though she knew – she knew – it was pointless. She was standing with the weight of the world pulling her down.

Why?

The little fool didn’t receive and answer, but she did make it to the top of the hill she was climbing. Standing under the smiling sun, Pomni looked over the vast landscape beyond her vantage point. Her eyes were spoiled with the sight of a great, but quiet lake. She couldn’t remember what real lakes looked like, or most things related to nature, but sight before her felt like a blessing to her overstimulated eyes.

The jester felt her knees buckle, so she sat down in the grass that looked too green to be realistic, while her sights trailed along the silver lining that danced along the water surface. The small waves rustled onto the generous, sandy banks - Pomni’s ears were filled with the sounds of them trickling along the edge and she found the sights and sounds drowning the desperate screeching of her racing mind.

It wasn’t a moment of quiet, but it was a moment of peace that she desperately needed.

“So… you found the lake!”

…and the peace was ruined.

“Yup.” Pomni said with a hopeless sigh, “I said I wanted to be alone. This is a big area – did you HAVE to decide to be in MY space?”

“Is it really YOUR space?” Zooble countered apathetically, “If anything, it’s Caine’s space.”

Pomni regretted ever dreading any form of silence.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand any of you.” Pomni shook her head in disbelief, “There is nothing for us here. Everything here is as endless as it is pointless.”

“Uh-huh.” Zooble stumbled beside Pomni, also fixating her eyes on the water surface.

“And yet you guys just keep… going… but you all aren’t even trying to make things tolerable for each other! You guys are a bunch of judgmental, two-faced jerks. On purpose!”

“Yeah.”

“Is that really all you have to say?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You seriously have no regard for your own self-respect?”

“No, everything you’ve said is true.”

Ponmi was struck by the statement Zooble threw to her head. Finally, there was silence, but the jester didn’t enjoy it this time. She turned to look at the abomination with shock. Zooble didn’t seem phased at all. They just kept sitting beside Pomni with a frustratingly difficult face (or lack thereof) to read.

“W- What?”

“You’re right.” Zooble simply says, “It’s torture. Not even abstraction is an out – you just get thrown into a black hole. There is no end to life here.”

The fool stayed silent as a morbid curiosity egged her on to listen. Zooble shifted meet Ponmi’s eyes as they spoke evenly.

“There is only an end to us.”

Time ticked away with the ripples of the water crashing onto the shore. The creature’s words blown into the fool, like a calm breeze. The words tumble and toss in Pomni’s mind, considering the seriousness and honesty Zooble used to deliver them. She finally understood what was meant with the statement.

While one person will live on, even after abstraction, the group will not. With someone already gone, the group that was situated had already been changed – it was no longer set. It no longer existed because someone irreplaceable was already gone.

It hurts to think like that.

“Okay.” Pomni said, glancing at the water once again, “But do you all have to act so demented? Hostile? Jax makes it his personal mission to make you guys into pin cushions. Gangle is either eerily quiet, obnoxiously giggling or crying her eyes out – no in-between. You don’t care about anyone except for Gangle, it seems? Kinger’s just… gone, until he’s not and Ragatha is so delusional about this place that she’s probably crazier than Kinger.”

“Fair enough to say that.” Zooble mused – her tone as dismissive as ever.

“Why?” Pomni pressed, eager to understand. Just a little bit of understanding would do her wonders.

“We all do what we have to do.”

Pomni sighed heavily, not at all understanding, “…Ragatha said that too. What’s with that?”

“Maybe she’s not as delusional as you thought.” Zooble jabbed back with more bite than Pomni expected. The jester reigned back a bit, while Zooble rolled their eyes at Pomni’s display.

“I doubt it,” she boldly disagreed, earning an interested look from Zooble, “…but she’s probably the only one who doesn’t hate me. It doesn’t even make sense that you would sit down to have a conversation with me while Gangle runs at the sight of me.”

“Why would Gangle’s opinion on you gatekeep whether I can hang out with you?”

“She’s your girlfriend!”

“Exactly.” Zooble states, as if hitting a nail into wood, “I’m not her parent, nor is she mine. She’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions, as am I. We are our own people with our own lives, we just want each other in them.”

Huh.

“So… what?” Pomni asked carefully, “Are we hanging out now, or what’s happening?”

“We chillin’, that’s it.”

They sat in a beat of silence before a wave of awkward tension built up within Pomni. It was supposed to be comfortable, she supposed, but it felt wrong to just leave the conversation as it was.

“So you don’t hate me?”

“I preferred it when you were pissed.” Zooble sighed, rolling their eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that day – and it was still morning, “No one hates you. We are just $%&($ terrified.”

Pomni furrowed her eyebrows, while the creature beside her reluctantly explained themself, “We lost one of our own and you just magically appeared on the same day. Can you blame someone for thinking that you seem like some type of replacement for someone who started asking too many questions? Do you know what Caine is capable of?”

Pomni shook her head as the words sunk in.

“Well…” Zooble huffed, leaning back on their palms that was planted behind them, “Welcome to the club, Harley Quin! Neither do we.”

The silence stretched longer this time. The air felt heavy, but Pomni began to see the strange method to her Circus members’ madness. She didn’t fully comprehend it all, but it felt comforting to have had the conversation – a real conversation, without hiding under false pretenses. Zooble saw her true colours – when she was at her worst.

The abomination didn’t even flinch, they went above and beyond to chase her down, delighted.

It was a relief.

Pomni huffed, leaning back onto her palms to match the posture of her new companion, “Harley Quin, huh? Was that the best you could come up with, Jumbo Blocks?”

Zooble sat up, leaning towards the jester with a mischievous sparkle in their eyes.

“Oh, it’s on, you %&@($ air balloon-cosplaying @$&@(!”

Unrestrained laughter chimed in the air as two freaks stared into the unforeseen horizon. For Pomni, the her ways of viewing her place in the circus, was ripped from beneath her feet in a single conversation. She was left on unstable ground.

Sand.

But for that small, precious moment, she was just happy to bicker with someone. They probably weren't enough to be considered friends, but they were together, sharing a space with no hidden intentions. She wasn't bothered with standing tall.

She was too short for that anyway.

Fanart kinda relevant to this story: (CLICK HERE TO SEE)

Oasis: TADC AU list

Masterlist

[svfttachi]

Can you gimme some random itachi and sasuke hcs (fem reader)?

WC ━ 741

TYPE ━ u. itachi x fem!reader, u. sasuke x fem!reader (separate)

TW ━ smallest mention of depression in sasuke's

✎ lwk was thinking about anakin skywalker the entire time i was writing the rest of these, so... yeah idk why i had to say that. anyway, i also forgot you wanted fem reader, so i changed it up a little to adjust for that change. but anyway, i hope you enjoy!

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

u. itachi

✰ he definitely drives with one hand on the steering wheel and his other holding onto yours

✰ only ever notices you amongst large crowds of people, especially around other women

✰ he loves to help you pick out your outfits as your showing off each one for him to choose from

✰ honestly, there isn’t a single bad outfit in his eyes

✰ always keeps an arm around you, whether it be around your waist, your shoulders, or holding your hand, he will always need to keep you close by, especially in public places

✰ let’s you take the subway seat, and he’ll stand nearby with a hand in yours, smiling down at you.

✰ if you do get two seats side-by-side on the subway, expect him to push your head onto his shoulder, especially after a long, tiring day

✰ rests his head against yours as well ;-;

✰ he can cook to a certain degree

✰ like he won’t be able to make high-class dishes but he can make you scrambled eggs 👀

✰ you two clean the house together every week, often switching between chores so one person doesn’t always do the hardest job

✰ but itachi would plead with you so that he takes the harder chores if he felt you shouldn’t do too much heavy lifting

✰ speaking of heavy lifting, he will 100% ask you if you wanted a massage after your tiring day at work, and he will always deliver with the best massages

✰ your besties with sasuke btw, that was inevitable tbh

✰ he is an early riser, so you’re probably going to have to get used to that

✰ like sometimes he’d wake you up at the same time he does just so he can see your beautiful eyes 😭

✰ cuddles, cuddles, CUDDLES<3

✰ he’s in dire need of skin-to-skin contact, you just know it

✰ in fact, that’s how most of the morning goes when you’re just waking up

✰ overall, itachi is the type of guy to comfort you, be there for you, and just enjoy your presence anywhere you two are

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

u. sasuke

✰ less of a romantic compared to his brother, but that’s due to how shy and dense he is

✰ speaking of dense, you were the one that had to confess first bc there was no way he’d openly admit that to you without burning up in anxiousness

✰ sometimes, you’d have to show him that you wanted to be given affection for him to realize it since he doesn’t notice it himself

✰ but after many years of being together, sasuke will get some idea of when you want him to give you attention

✰ isn’t as big of a skin contact guy, but he is a SUCKER for some hand holding, so just hold his hand for him pls ;-;

✰ sasuke is definitely not about to open up about his feelings when he’s in a depressed state, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be completely alone

✰ give him the comfort he needs pls 😭

✰ DEFINITELY besties with naruto to the point that you even joke and prank sasuke with him, IMAGINE THAT WOW 👌👌

✰ he has his romantic moments sometimes when he surprises you with little gifts and acts of service

✰ will ALWAYS be down to go on a late night road trip or just a late night drive around the city with you

✰ in fact, he even gives you the aux/bluetooth for the tunes 👀

✰ when you’re in public, he HAS to keep your hand in his just bc he is afraid of losing you, just like with itachi

✰ super domestic like he wouldn’t normally go out during the day and would rather relax with you at home

✰ obsessed with watching movies late at night with you in his arms and a couple of blankets along with popcorn and other snacks

✰ you guys definitely own a cat, it’s a necessity i’m not sorry ✋️

✰ the two of you probs cook together since neither of you are the BEST of cooks

✰ still, the dishes you two make are just 👌👌

✰ when you guys go shopping, he insists on holding ALL of the bags bc he’s just not about letting you hold onto them on your own

✰ then ofc you guys go to the food court and he gets the most sweetest flavored drink ever, and you’re just wondering how he drinks it

✰ all and all, sasuke is your number one reserved and shy boi, but he is a good one to have some good old fun with

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

navigation ✧. ┊ gen. masterlist ✧. ┊ itachi writings ✧. ┊sasuke writings

[marimayscarlett]

I just someone ask about Emigrate and since I love them a lot I wanted to ask what are your top 10 songs of theirs?

(sorry if you answered this before lolol)

Hi, thank you for this message, that's so sweet of you to ask 🤍

I could make it easy for me and just throw the first two albums in here (they kind of feel like home to me, especially the first one) and call it a day, but I sat down and took my time to ponder my selection a bit 😌 Took me a bit to sort them into a top 10 list, but here we go:

I'm still alive: Vampire goth dad singing about the passage of time and overcoming seemingly depressive episodes is a fucking anthem for me, this song takes up about 65% of my brain capacity 🦇🤍

2. Wake up: This actually was my favourite song back when I discovered Emigrate and my alarm clock for almost my whole university time. Because yep, this wakes you up in 0.2 seconds, it's so powerful 👏

3. Happy times: Richard's and Margaux' voices are complimenting each other so good in this and I love the rythm of this song 🤍

4. Always on my mind: Till sings one (1) syllable and I start bawling, every damn time. And when Richard starts to sing, I'm this 🤏🏻 close to dissolve into tears completely. This song is very dangerous to the hydration level of my body.

5. This is what: The drums in this are insane and the guitar solo is so good 👌

6. Rainbow: This is a song which doesn't leave my brain as soon as I hear it. Gotta deal with it for 3-5 business days because it's so damn catchy 🤌🏻 Plus I really love the lyrics.

7. Hypothetical: Not going to comment anything here. Not a thing. The song speaks for itself I guess.

8. You can't get enough: So much feelings and emotions in this song, Richard's voice in it is so wonderful 🤍

9. New York City: 🎶NEW YORK CITY WILL NEVA SLEEP 🎶 This is imprinted in my brain since day one and I love it so much.

10. You're so beautiful: I can't describe the feeling I get when I listen to this song. Like a melancholic, sad vibe mixed with positivity and love. It's a wonderful song, chance that I burst into tears while listening to it is about 75% 👌🏻

I know this isn't a tag game but I have three mutuals of which I know they listen or listened a lot to Emigrate and I would love to see your top 10 Emigrate songs (of course only if you want to): @dandysnob @ms-nerd @gothtoast 😌

[beefrobeefcal]

For the emoji ask !

⛔️❌👀🤲

To Nonnie, Love Beefro

[in reference to this post]

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yes. Many. All of them were written when I was in a lower/dank headspace and were pretty sad. So they've been relegated to a folder completely separate and local to my main computer so I don't have to look at them without deleting them. Because they have some good ideas even if the execution was depressing.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I have thought and toiled over this, trying to think of what trope I won't go to... I love them all (at least the ones I can think of). Maybe if there's a trope that I know I couldn't do justice, like enemies to lovers! or but there's only one bed! or fake dating!, I'll take a seat because I have read some gooders and there's no reason for me to taint the broth.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Well, Frankie and Mouse go on a cruise ... and then Joel & Darlin' try their hand at domesticity... and Peña & Sweetheart go suit shopping... and Dave & Kitten need some new furniture... and Frankie & Mouse have a baby and do other things...

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

under the cut for ✨spoilers✨

Beefro 👌🥩💜

The last centimeter was taking forever and was the most pain you’d ever experienced in your life. Frankie was now sitting in the bed with you leaned back between his legs, your back to his chest. You needed him like this, cocooning you with his body. One hand was wiping your forehead and the other was being squeezed by the uncharacteristically strong grip of your hand. “Breathe, mama… you’re so close…”, he whispered encouragement while planting kisses on your sweaty hair. “I feel like… I have to push… Frankie… please… I have to push!”, you screeched, trying to sit up. Frankie got from behind you clumsily and pressed the button to hail the nurse. Sherri came in hurriedly and smiled. “I heard! It’s go time!”, she cheered far too enthusiastically for your liking at the moment. Frankie stood by your side, holding one of your legs up, while Sherri held the other. The doctor got in her place. “Okay, push… bear down…good.”, the doctor called up to you. A few more pushes and you felt like you were going to pass out. “I… I can’t!”, you wailed. “I can’t do this… I… please! Frankie… please make it stop!” “Mama, you’re doing it right now. You gotta keep pushing, Mouse. You’re so strong… come on, baby… keep pushing.”, he kept his voice calm, but your pleading and cries for him we’re breaking his heart. Frankie counted to ten for every push and in between he pressed his mouth to your temple and whispered more words of encouragement while you panted and pleaded for this to be over. You turned to look him in the eyes and he smiled, leaned down and kissed you. “Come on, mama.”, he whispered against your mouth. “One more push… go!”, the doctor announced. You gathered up all your strength and bore down as hard as you could, crying out as you did. Then you heard it. That perfect, beautiful, anguished noise. You heard… her.

[flowery-laser-blasts]

Headcanon: is Shego actually 'goth'?

my short answer: no, but it depends really.

I often see people talking about Shego as a 'cartoon goth girl' and I'm pretty sure that everyone is only basing it on her looks and 'attitude'.

The stereotype of gothic and any other type of alternative 'dark' subculture, is wearing black clothes, black lipstick and having a pissed or 'whatever' attitude.

Basic rule for goth: if you listen to goth music, you're goth. That's it. You can dress in 'normal'clothes and still be 'goth' at heart. It's your choice to express it.

Shego's appearance:

I've heard some people say her look and all screams goth but, it's just her ex-superhero suit??? That would make all of the Go siblings (or anyone who has black work clothes) 'goth'.

In 'stop team go' we find out that Shego's casual clothes are actually fairly 'ordinary' and match with Kim's tastes. Actually, Kim and Shego are REALLY close to one another when it comes to what they like and is Kim a goth? Most definetely not. (And that's OK).

"But in that episode, all of Shego's evilness got taken away" yeah, so? Does that mean being goth is evil? Heck no! It took away 'evil' not interests!

'Regular' people can wear black lipstick. Because doy, it's just make up!

If I put on pink lipstick, it doesn't mean that I am no longer goth or anything. It's always odd to me that if someone doesn't dress 100% goth 24/7 that (most of the time normal) people say "oh you're not a 'real'goth".

'Kay by that logic; where are Shego's platform boots, chains and spikes at ?

Also the stereotype that goths don't go into the sun? I've got news for you buddy; we kind of have to. I despise it because of my sun allergy and getting blinded by it but you can't go around it...

But for a stereotypical gothy cartoon character, Shego really does enjoy sunbathing huh? (And pft ofc goths can sunbathe but look at Sam Manson from Danny Phantom for example, she's covered from head to toe during the pool episode).

Shego's attitude:

I'm honestly puzzled because so often in media you see that the 'goth' is mopey, evil, depressed, dramatic, sarcastic or down right rude when that's the furthest from the truth!!!

Heck if you give Shego a blonde wig, pink lipstick and pink clothes, not only would you get evil 'Barbie', but you'd get a mean girls type-a girl. Think of it as Bonnie2.0. Except with a go-getter attitude and a larger range of skills.

Shego is an antagonist with a strong character with even stronger opinions. But that doesn't make her goth.

Shego's music tastes:

In the show, it's only ever established that she enjoys listening to MC Honey.

She seems to be kind of 'eh' about Oh Boyz, but perhaps it's because of Drakken who sings it.

I doubt she'd listen to 'goth' (or alternative) music because to hear it might be too... moopy.

The gothic scene is heavily based (started with) the gothic music genre, so if you don't listen to it then chances are: you're not goth.

Does that mean that goths can never listen to any other music genre? Heck no! You can listen to whatever you want, but you've got to know the roots and origins from a subculture.

My conclusion:

In terms of looks, Shego could be considered a 'goth'. But is she actually goth? I think noth.

And unless a cartoon character shows actual participation in the goth culture or states "yeah I'm goth", they're probably not goth.

But that's just my take on it and I'm also not going to be a gatekeeper of what is goth and what's not.

if you consider her 100% goth, that's a-ok!

MIGHT update this in the future but this is it for now.

Bonus:

Dr Drakken however, the man DEFINITELY had an angsty goth teen phase in his life and 100% listens to some punk, rock and new wave when working on his projects along with country, rap and poppy boyband songs.

+ that dark themed Victorian labcoat that he wears? and headcanon eyeliner to hide his eyebags? Sheeeeeesh! 😫👌

[noireasy]

I’ve become one of those permanently irritable types of depressed people with a hair trigger anger response. I feel this👌 close to beating the shit out of the next person who pisses me off even though I have not fought anyone since I was a little kid.

[neverlearnedtoread]

The Dragon Republic

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐; rin making bad decisions like they’re going on sale at the market, arms full of regrets, guilt, mistakes, and self-destructive coping mechanisms: i can fit in one more

Oh?? 👌😉😏

rf kuang gave us an unflinching exploration on the cycles of violence and oppression, dissected the ever-escalating chain of vengeance, and the good good of eastern-inspired mythology?? like ma’am.....the good food im eating at your feast.....ive been so hungry

the lore deserves its own point. it was so effortlessly woven into the story, especially the way it tied into certain characters’ backstories. i can’t say much more because spoilers but if you like integrated worldbuilding and you like chinese-inspired magic systems get over here!!

the friendships. namely rin 🤝 kitay. miss kuang you know what really matters, and its not 10398 handsome men, its one ride-or-die bff holding you back or yeeting you into the midst of battle as needed

grimdark, but not oppressively depressing? im not sure how to describe it..the story gives you enough adrenaline to power through with the sheer speed of reading to find out what happens next, but doesn’t pull its punches. i think its partly that rin herself ploughs through the narrative like she’s trying to outrun the events, giving the reader the momentum to move with her

No.. ❌🤢🤮

i took a screenshot when my friend and i were planning to do a buddy read together. the trigger warnings took up an entire page. do not screw around with this. there’s no shame in tapping out for any book, but especially this one

some characters die, and i specifically blame rin for it. i mean there were a lot of other factors, but in the spirit of the phoenix herself i am choosing to close my eyes to the rationality of working through my feelings of grief in a healthy way and plunge straight into being pissed off about it, forever. *wipes tear* just like rin taught me

did suffer from a bit of middle book syndrome, at least to me. i mean, i finished an 800~ page book in 8 hours of reading time, so maybe don’t believe me, but the first half of the book dragged more than i remember the poppy war did. i will admit a lot of that was because rin was in no position to be a rational, active protagonist. the narrative needed her to flounder, and she did.

Summary: Rin goes unhinged 2: water dragon boogaloo (ive tried and tried to write an actual summary for this book but i don’t think i can top this throwaway line i wrote as a placeholder)

Concept: 💭💭💭💭💭 Where to start? There are historical influences, commentary on social issues and the impact of violence on communities both physical and otherwise, the slow and terrible descent of a beaten-down protagonist. Basically a checklist of stuff I like exploring in high fantasy settings!

This is the second book in a trilogy - spoilers ahead!

Execution: 💥💥💥💥 Rin doesn’t like politics, and I think that made the narrative drag a lot initially as the moving parts tried to be interesting but through Rin’s jaded lens were stripped of their veneer. Kuang was more than ambitious with her sophomore book, and I know that she was open about struggling with the pacing of TDR while she was writing it - still, I think there’s more than something to be said about shooting for the stars! I didn’t think any part of the book dropped the ball, but the nature of all the heavy topics it was trying to handle became a hefty meal to swallow

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤ Like I said, I read this book over 3-ish days in 8 hours. The library copy I had said it was 800 pages. I felt as powerful as Rin when I finished. The first half was a little dead in the water (which is a pun, yes, how many damn times did someone fall into the water and nearly drown in this book?? smh) but nothing I couldn’t handle with a little exasperation at Rin’s...*gestures* mental landscape. But when we reached the lore about Su Daji, and the Trifecta, and their chosen gods....i broke into a flat-out sprint. I was naruto-running through the plot.

Favourite Moment: it’s a battle to the death between the scenes with the trifecta backstories and the rin 🤝 kitay scenes

Favourite Character: chaghan, because i loved his backstory so, so, so much....also I didn’t know that handholding scene in the mountains was like. canon. and not fanon. rin really looked homosexuality in the eye and said ‘huh?’ with her whole chest.

[fcntasmas]

if you want an example of how fucked up the us health care system is, here’s a fun personal example: i had to go without anti-depressants for over a week because despite me calling my psych’s office with plenty of time to replenish as i always do, they did not call my prescription in. so i spent four days in intense withdrawal — nightmares, nausea, vomiting, migraines, paranoia, everything you can think of — and having to call them over and over again BEGGING them for my meds in tears because i was sure i was starting to fucking hallucinate, too, until they finally got back to me and called them in without so much as a “sorry! our mistake” lmao

and because they’re the only psych office that takes my insurance, i have. no other options here. so if this happens again, it is what it is, ig! never mind that i was this 👌 close to just killing myself in order to stop the pain i was in caused by withdrawal i didn’t have to be going through because…?? they made an oopsie i guess?? and they know either way i have no other options so what do they care am i right