estro-gem

[estro-gem]

I'm experiencing brainrot.

I love this character so much🤌

[estro-gem]

Gem being creepy and drawing her mutuals' sona's again.

This cute, pink, strawberry character is Strawbby, the sona of @strawberry-souffle. The sona belongs to them, I just drew the character in my style - or tried to.

The jester character, Estrogem (or also known as Gem) is the character that belongs to me.

Strawbby was cool with me drawing them, and you guys know how I LOVE to draw sona's. She was so interesting to figure out how to draw in my style... Eh, I tried.

Crappy close-ups below the cut (sorry about the quality):

@lizeliz as soon as I know what your sona looks like... boi imma draw them lickedy split! XD

@the-universe-is-over you are not safe either - same goes to you! >:D

[estro-gem]

Pathetic

[estro-gem]

Yummy angst in the making.

Yes... it's slowly getting somewhere...

The angst needs more angst🤌

Don't worry, this is just a tiny part of the first chapter. :)

[estro-gem]

What writing fanfics are like:

*begins to write*

*thinks about specific scene*

*decides to draw it for optimal visualization*

*gets hung up on drawing and sees it through to the end*

*wrestles with thoughts; if the drawing should be posted before the fanfic, because the fanfic isn't done yet*

*realise the fanfic isn't done yet*

*cries*

*decides to write a bit later on*

*...*

[estro-gem]

Lovestruck tribute

Cheers to the happy couple!

I feel like I owe the abstragedy shippers a bit of joy before proceeding to the next arc of TADC Oasis AU.

Ok, now I can sleep in peace.

Another unfinished work finally complete!

Oasis: TADC AU list Masterlist

[estro-gem]

Watching a horror movie at daytime, while doing household chores is crazy, because in the moment, you're like, "That character got possessed? Damn, that's crazy...."

Then when all is said and done, you're left with a clean house at night, lying awake in bed when the realization washes over you as to why it ACTUALLY was crazy.

[estro-gem]

Another TADC AU idea

It's 23:20 at night and I have a cursed idea for a TADC AU.

It might have been done before.

I already made a couple of sketches.

Why am I like this...?

Oh well, at least I get to pour our my crackhead-energy somewhere, right?

P.S. it may have been done before, but mine will be the troll-y, not serious, joke-version of who-ever did it first.

P.P.S: It involves putting Ragatha in low-waist shorts, lol

[estro-gem]

Question: If you have seen the newest TADC episode, and therefore know of the segment which imitates an anime, how much fanfiction you think's gonna spawn from that alone?

I've already seen my fair share of fanart and TADC is a hot topic for FF so it's only fair for school au to explode from it.

(Hint: I'm doing one and Hint 2: It's Ribbun lmao)

I've seen it! And I loved it <3

No doubt there will be LOADS of fanfics. And I'll likely read through a whole bunch, no doubt.

I look forward to finding yours, then~!

Thank you for the ask!

[estro-gem]

Kaufmo's Notes: Oasis prologue comic

19 panels.

Oasis: TADC AU list

Masterlist

*Quietly drops comic and leaves*

For those who miss what their "roles" are:

Kaufmo: Ground squirrel

Gangle: Burrowing owl

Jax: Side-winder

Ragatha: water spring

Zooble: Desert wind/sandstorm

Kinger: Mirage

Pomni: ??

??: ??

[estro-gem]

It's so COOOOOOOLL!!!

And so pretty!!! Zooble looks ethereal... Like... A biblically accurate angel of sorts!

I applaud this pretty art ^^

Krita rendering test. Lovely software

[estro-gem]

WWPM concept sketches: Nanny

Yet another post about this, so it doesn't die with me.

She also doesn't have a name yet, but she's, like, the group nanny.

Character info/me rambling about this story below cut:

She's the cook/doctor, because her hands are always clean. She's a caretaker to everyone and tough as nails - no nonsense, no ma'am with a heart of gold.

She's 21 years old. The oldest. She's the curviest crew member, but she can hold herself in a fight, don't underestimate her.

Nanny is known as the sister of the group's youngest boy - she escaped her imprisonment as Powder Monkey when she was 15 year old with her brother who was 3 years old at the time.

She doesn't talk about her mother, but from what the others could tell, she died on the same ship Nanny escaped from.

...

This falls part of my silly original story I never talk about, "We Were Powder Monkeys."

[estro-gem]

You know what?

F*ck you.

*drops TADC Oasis AU spoiler*

This is actually one panel of a 19 panel comic lying in my drafts that I never had time to finish. I started working on it again, but it's gonna be a while before it's done, but I least I picked it up again..

It's been in my drafts since September 2024.

i figured that the hype for this AU is kinda gone and most enthusiasts lost interest by now.

And new people would have context, so no harm in posting this, right?

[estro-gem]

Snippets and trinkets: It doesn't need to know where you are

Author's note: Something something, we are not at this point in the story yet, something something.

SUMMARY: It's getting closer. It's coming.

It doesn't need to know where you are

The rabbit’s pupils dilated impossibly wide as his earlier sentence trailed into nothing.

Pomni shrunk as the rabbit seemed to stare right through her, frozen in place as he loomed over her confused form.

“Uh... Jax?” Pomni asked carefully, waving a hand in front of his face, “Earth to Jax? Hello? You were kinda in the middle of threatening me and all?”

“He’s gone.” Came Kinger’s voice from the closet, his now sober eyes glimmering in the shadows between the clothing. The jester’s heart leapt in her throat, seeing truth behind Kinger being more likely of a sound mind in the dark, his serious voice cutting through his form like a knife.

“Kinger! What are you doing-?”

He was right behind her a mere few seconds ago, why was he in the closet all of a sudden?

“Get in here, now.” His voice sounded desperate and urgent, making Pomni, stagger back a bit.

“Why? What about Jax-?”

“He’s too far gone. I need you to hide at least. It’s not a guarantee that it’s going to find us.”

“Who? What’s going on? There’s no one else here!” Pomni growled, before yelping at the floating white gloves shooting out and forcefully dragging her into the small, dark space with him.

“Tie yourself.” He ordered in a soft spoken voice, taking the belts and waistbands of various coats that Caine added to the room, despite knowing that they were unable to change their clothes without is input. “It doesn’t need to know where you are to affect you. And please don’t panic if you- no... no, nevermind. I don’t think that’s relevant now. It wouldn’t risk it... I think...”

“Kinger, you are scaring me.” the little jester said slowly, still not moving or doing anything to do as he said, “Why?”

“Just turn around, let me help you.” Kinger’s steady voice wavered, flicking his eyes back to Jax’s frozen form that abruptly flopped to the floor in a lifeless heap.

It’s getting closer.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” Pomni asked in a whisper-yell, the sight of Jax giving her instincts the odd cue to be as hidden and as quiet as possible, reluctantly letting Kinger turn her back to him, using the tied-together waistbands to tie up her hands behind her back, “You’re scaring me. Why are we doing this?”

Once securely tied, Pomni was spun back around and the white glove forced her to look up into the heartbreaking dread of Kinger’s blue eyes. The girl’s soul sunk to her feet, knowing that whatever was happening, it was hopeless.

There was no way out of whatever it was that was about to happen.

Kinger paused, for only a second, to take in the quivering child before him - his heart shattered into a million pieces, before he shook his head and pushed Pomni down onto her butt, bent over and seeming to sit equivalent to what would be considered ‘on his knees’ while getting to work , tying her lower legs and ankles together with shaky hands.

“I’m sorry...” He croaked, making Pomni’s heart thump loudly, threatening to hop out of her throat as he tied the last knot, “I’m so sorry.”

“Kinger?” the girls voice was so small, she barely recognised it, “Will it hurt?”

The chess piece hovered over her with a sock and a scarf, looking down to her with a mix of worry and regret, holding the sock to her mouth in offering, rather than stuffing it into her mouth by force.

He’s wasting precious seconds, but he wanted to give this poor girl a choice.

“You won’t remember it.” The chess piece said softly, his voice damning.

With that, Pomni let out a sob and held her mouth open, letting him stuff the sock into her mouth, then quickly tie the scarf around her head, making her head spin as she struggled to breathe.

Her heart wanted to bash through her ribs with every thump.

Once done, Kinger stood up, his gloves hovering over her, like he was holding them at the ready, in case he missed something.

But they were out of time.

He could only pray it was enough.

“Stay here.” He says, sounding more like a farewell than a instruction.

Pomni’s eyes widen as she watch him back out into the light of the room, his eyes clouding over slowly as he use the last of his will to shut the doors of the closet.

But before being engulfed in the dark where all went black, there was something eating at her.

Was she hearing things?

Oasis: TADC AU list Masterlist

[estro-gem]

The not-so-much essay about the relationship drama in TADC episode 5

Warning: Spoilers, overthinking, opinions and headcannons about TADC episode 5. This is not a fact-based essay and this is polluted by my biased idiologies. I will not try to predict what will happen, but I will speculate about what had happened.

There are so many things packed in this episode – so many loose ends revealed.

I’ll just treat the episode like a breakdown:

Start: The common area.

This sets the scene very well. Everyone (besides Zooble) is tired. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Pomni’s flopped on the floor. Jax repeatedly says that he wants to sleep. Ragatha, doesn’t think Kinger’s statement through when offering to help him count eggs (then again, this might also just play into her people-pleaser, agreeable character) and she appeared to have bags under her eyes at one point? Looking downcast the next. Gangle’s mask effortlessly breaks. Zooble is tired in general, ect.

If there is one thing TADC set early on, is that the cast shows their true colours when they are tired and overwhelmed. Think about Gangle’s manic episode (literally) and Kinger feeling helpless when he didn’t know how to help Pomni in “hell.” How Jax acted at the end of the day at episode 4 and actually showed a sliver of his true self to Pomni – that’s important – more on that later.

It's clear that the team is sent into Caine’s shenanigans without time to recoup – which is why I adore the pacing of how Jax and Pomni’s relationship is developed.

Side note: Gangle lighting up at seeing Zooble waiting for them melted my heart!

Anyway, with that out of the way, we now have context.

Jax’s adventures:

I don’t think there is much to say about the first one, other than the fact that he doesn’t take adventures and whatever happens within them seriously – and I don’t think he thinks that what he does has a lasting effect on anyone. Also, I think this kinda set’s Jax and Gangle’s dynamic in stone.

It’s a game to Jax and he’s here to play. That being said, I don’t think he likes to be on the receiving end of what he’s dishing out either because he’s petty like that. Gangle is rolling with the punches, I presume, and that’s part of the reason why I believe that Gangle is one of the few people Jax would consider closest to being a friend – or at least someone that wouldn’t deliberately abandon him. He can be mean all he wants, but she doesn’t pull away, even when she’s at her worst. In fact, she retaliates and she’s still open to doing things with him, like in episode 4 when they were playing softball.

Jax shoots Gangle first (and goes absolutely feral) – and I believe it’s out of spite, not hatred. Jax and Gangle has a cat and mouse thing going. They go at each other any chance they get. Jax picks on Gangle. She talks back. He takes her binoculars without asking. She tells him of all people to go clean the toilet. He brushes her off. She ?tortures him (in private, if I may add) He shoots her. She puts him in a maid outfit. Odd relationship, but I’ll groom myself into believing there is some weird form of affection there, or some level of relation/mutualism.

However, it’s also clear that there is at least an arm’s length between them.

Now that there’s a new person with no attachment or prejudice to anyone, Jax set his eyes on Pomni. I mean, think about it – in episode one, he had Ragatha join him to take Pomni to Kaufmo’s. His opposite.

Then the President Pomni thing, I believe that is one of Jax’s many tests of Pomni’s character. All throughout the season he made little comments and ask for her input/opinion. Poke at her and see how she reacts. He outright says he ‘wanted to see what she’d do.’ And he honours the fact that she is a blank slate to the team – not giving her a script.

In his mind, the others are set in their ways in their opinions about him, but he realized that Pomni doesn’t have her set opinion on anyone just yet. (yes I believe Jax overthinks and over analyze things, ok, bite me. Did you SEE Kinger’s character brief and how it was thought out? Jax did that!) That’s why, of all people, he opens up to her the most.

Pomni remembers things he did to her, but she doesn’t seem to hold resentment. She just goes with it, a little like Gangle – so I think he finds her amusing at least.

Gangle’s adventure (I died at the intro XD):

Again, not much to say, but there’s an honourable mention of, again, Jax reaching out to Pomni. He also seems to be very neutral about Zooble. They’re genuine and tend to brush him off and he reflects that back. He takes another chance to jab at Gangle – someone I theorize him to see as some weird mutual, so he doesn’t thing twice to use Gangle’s demise to get a rise out of Pomni, which only responds dryly about what he did to her in the past. This sets Jax’s perception of Pomni in stone. She doesn’t care what he does if it doesn’t affect her – at least that’s how he sees it. Nothing fake, no showboating, just Pomni being herself – confused and over it. Getting through the next event. Just like him.

He can relate to her… And that carries over to the stargazing adventure.

The Stargazing adventure

I don’t know who’s this is, but it feels serene – everyone is relaxing. Also, Ragatha spawned in the corner, off to the side.

Gangle and Zooble are acting all cute and close and Jax noticed this. His eyes are glued to them before he notice Pomni beside him. (Damnit, this scene makes me want to believe he’s a bit protective of Gangle)

He opens up to Pomni again – it never hurt before, right? He looks worried, talking about how he notices that Gangle is happy to hang out with Zooble and that he wonders if she’s capable of true happiness.

This is huge.

The moment is huge – because with him being vulnerable to Pomni as he’d been inching towards before, Ragatha takes the chance to berate him when he shares his concern about Gangle seeing her relationship with Zooble being a ‘quick fix.’ He defends his badgering by saying that Gangle likes it.

I don’t think Jax meant ‘she is a masochist.’ I believe that Jax thinks that Gangle likes Jax giving her a reason to be sad. And it may be true! Consider that, along with what I mentioned before about them going at each other and her not ever abandoning him. Guys, I think he is protective of Gangle in his own little messed up way.

Ragatha’s presence and comments – sharing things about him that wasn’t hers to share when Pomni finally tried to reach out to Jax, that almost shut him down and he reverted back to acting aloof and like a douche, but Ragatha leaves and he can open up again to Pomni’s gentle prying with no judgement.

Other note, he say’s it feels like Ragatha is trying to take advantage of them. First, I thought that statement was weird. Like, how is that the conclusion?? But think about it, everything he said up until this point indicates that Jax values friendship deeply and anyone trying to fake and ditch when the going gets tough, is robbing him of his trust, time and commitment.

Jax is alone and he lost a friend before, as Ragatha so insensitively put it, running away when she realized that she overstepped, instead of apologizing and acknowledging that she hurt him by bring up the past and his loss.

A huge reason why I think Jax behaves the way he does is because he believes he has no one left to lose. He’s in the most powerful position to be in, but with that, comes loneliness. That’s why he doesn’t want to get any closer to Gangle. That’s why he’s so cautious about opening up to Pomni. He conditioned himself into thinking that he doesn’t need anyone, when, in fact, he yearns for connection – he can’t help it.

Then the magic happens.

He goes back to being aloof – but Pomni doesn’t pry, she plays into it. She listened and didn’t push. She didn’t give him a reason to tell her to back off. So he stays.

Now, he likes her; she’s cool (I think).

Zooble’s adventure:

I have the least to say about this, actually. Everyone got a chance to open up. This segment mostly alludes to Jax and Zooble’s relationship. Jax is an untouchable obstacle to Zooble. Jax enjoys their banter. Zooble seemed to only really show interest in him when they discovered his fear, when he picked on Gangle or when he tried to lure Pomni into a sense of comfort by apologizing. Pomni, going against Zooble’s advice, accepts his apology.

There was, again, some weird tension between Jax and Ragatha.  It definitely runs deeper than whoever is closer to Pomni. It also highlights the disconnect between Ragatha and the rest of the team. It was so sad to see Ragatha open up and all the others did, was stare. No inquiry, no one relating. Just plain staring, then moving on as if nothing happened.

There was a moment with Jax looking sad and another where he drunkenly told Ragatha to be mad – it’s funny. I think he perceives ‘funny’ as ‘interesting’ or ‘intriguing’, but he sucks at expressing himself on a good day, so the gentle nudge he gave when reassuring Ragatha after she apologized for being a jerk to Gangle, may have been him poking at her, still sour that she rudely brought up is lost friend, but maybe, just maybe, it was him just as desperate to connect with ‘the real Ragatha’ as Ragatha was to connect with literally anyone else.

Ragatha’s adventure:

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Ragatha’s trauma.

In this episode it’s made very clear that Ragatha had, at least, a very strained relationship with her mother, who seems to have criticized her every move and berate her for not acting “appropriately.” The reason I say so is the way she apologized to Jax. She was PISSED, and going overboard in chewing out Jax for his behaviour, her eye was twitching, she was frazzled, but she was able to pull herself together very well and actually apologize. It even left Jax stunned – or whatever that blank expression was he was sporting. For the first time she was being genuine and yet she swallowed her pride and apologized.

Ragatha’s trauma made her to be one of the most mentally strong characters in the circus, if not the strongest. And it’s a shame it was born from trauma, but I love what a queen she really is. The problem is that she is desperate for connection and the only way she had known to connect is by appeasing other’s expectations, the way she had to appease her mother’s expectations.

While meeting other’s expectations can give you praise from others, it’s seen by others, and yourself, as a box being ticked. There was a need that was met and you were the tool to achieve that.

It does not necessarily make you appreciated, because the burden of offering yourself up to be the reliable one is that people will begin to see it as a given. In the stargazing adventure, Jax said that (I’m paraphrazing) ‘being told you are loved and appreciated every day make it lose it’s value’ – and in this case, Ragatha solidified herself as the nice one, who others expect to be nice and supportive no matter what.

There is no depth. She gave herself a function and others accept that. Since that role is solidified, no one has the desire to pursue anything more from her, like a deeper connection – and that is what she desperately wants. She just doesn’t know how to pursue it herself without doing things that would earn her praise instead of appreciation.

I think that is why, when she sat next to Pomni, disappointed in herself for not batting as well as she personally wanted – according to her own expectation, Pomni was able to see a small true part of Ragatha. The doll is competitive. Pomni then proceeds to reach out to her. It’s beautiful. Then Jax uses Ragatha’s vulnerability to push her too far and with the doll’s inexperience in handling conflict, she goes overboard, fueling Jax’s fire.

Ragatha rained on his parade by pulling herself together again and I desperately want to believe that there was some level of respect in his gaze, but eh, I’m biased. Point is, she shut him up.

There were many scenes in Ragatha’s adventure highlighting Ragatha’s isolation from the group. Jax warmed up to Pomni and Evil Pomni, which may or may not be the worst part of Pomni – or at least, that’s what Ragatha believed the Evil versions to be. The fact that the most disliked person didn’t want anything to do with her or even the worst part of herself? Ouch.

Then comes the part where Pomni offered Ragatha to bat in her place. Pomni did that to be nice and possibly extend an olive branch for their earlier fallout, thinking that would make the doll happy. I theorize that Ragatha agreed, because in her mind Pomni wanted her to make her proud, like she had to make her mother proud. So when all was said and done, when she ‘won’ (did nothing) the other members came to praise her, which was nice, but it wasn’t what she wanted.

She wanted Pomni to notice her, but instead, the jester was chatting with Jax, with no care about what was happening on the field. Pomni reflected what Ragatha had been doing all along – she was being nice. Ticking a box to make others happy. To meet Ragatha’s expectations.

That wasn’t connection, and I believe that realization made her realize just how isolated she really was.

She had no one left to lose, because she didn’t have anyone to begin with – and that’s why she didn’t chase anyone down at the end of the episode.

I don’t know how to end this off, so bye!

No wait! Side note, I believe Caine can't control minds, but he can weaponize their own minds against them.

He can do anything under the guise of it being their own choice. This is why the voting thing was able to make Jax vegan, despite him not wanting to be vegan.

Also, when Zooble opened up about their problems and feelings they had about their body, they told him to 'forget it.' AND HE LITERALLY FORGETS IT.

Kay, bye!

Also, I was asked for this: @zeeboomblebee

I wasn't asked for this but you are getting tagged anyway:

@d-jevil @realifezompire @lizeliz

My TADC episode 5 experience

I'm actively resisting to write a essay about organic friendships vs situational relationships, praise vs appreciation and both the power and dread of knowing that you have nothing to lose - or no one to lose.

[estro-gem]

My TADC episode 5 experience

I'm actively resisting to write a essay about organic friendships vs situational relationships, praise vs appreciation and both the power and dread of knowing that you have nothing to lose - or no one to lose.

[estro-gem]

He's sitting on the goods :/

Doodles! ^^

I'm not one to jump on trends, but eh. I love me a mafia!au. And now it's practically canon.

Wanted to do a rough sketch.