#THIRTEEN!!!!!

[obeetlebeetle]

watching romeo and juliet like wow this is a horror movie

[tyrannosarahsrex8]

Welcome to the “whoops! I accidentally started got manipulated into starting the apocalypse!” Club. Members being Jonathan Sims and Mable Pines. They’re both ✨traumatised✨

Bonus comic

[autisticats23]

think the great thing about house md is that the characters really are just like that, not even exaggerated. house does not shut up about sleeping with wilson even though he claims they’re just bros, foreman complains about medical malpractice while stealing bone marrow and switching thirteens’s placebo, cameron marries a dying man and then sleeps with chase after she’s been on meth. then they sleep together again because they’re bored of watching their patients sleep patterns. chase is a blonde australian catholic, he’s one of the best surgeons in the hospital, he also kills a dictator. wilson is just some guy who’s been arrested before. he loves monster trucks, he’s had three failed marriages, he’ll give out his organs and blood at any given moment. something so wrong with them all but i love them very much.

[clericxhood777]

Duke: Why is Dick sitting in between Jason and Roy?

Steph: Because he doesn't wanna see them cuddling.

Tim: Or kissing.

Duke: But they're a couple.

Tim: To Dick, Jason's still a baby.

Duke, holds up Damian: This is a baby, that's a grown ass adult.

[nymph3tpilled]

[yesokayiknow]

thirteen, refusing to acknowledge that she has a single negative emotion and refusing to tell her friends anything about her: god i'm so fucking healthy

fourteen, after a shit ton of therapy: ohhhh i see that was actually incredibly unhealthy i get it now

fifteen, traumadumping on ruby so rapidly that she doesn't get a chance to ask deeper questions and he doesn't get a chance to process the enormity of everything: god i'm so fucking healthy

[anyataylorjoys]

THIRTEEN (2003) dir. Catherine Hardwicke JENNIFER'S BODY (2009) dir. Karyn Kusama ORPHAN (2009) dir. Jaume Collet-Serra BLACK SWAN (2010) dir.Darren Aronofsky HELTER SKELTER (2012) dir. Mika Ninagawa I, TONYA (2017) dir. Craig Gillespie LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2022) dir. Edgar Wright THE SUBSTANCE (2024) dir. Coralie Fargeat

[emotinalsupportturtle]

Can’t not post this moment (you couldn’t find two people less straight)

[househrt]

house in 2024

House installs 24/7 tracking apps on Wilson's phone. In return, Wilson books Ubers to take his phone and drive to various nefarious locations, sit there for half an hour, then come back home

Similarly, Wilson gets a smartwatch that monitors his heart rate. House gets updates sent to his phone and calls Wilson whenever his heart rate increases by more than 20 bpm to try and interrupt him jerking off

Kutner writes fanfic and replies to almost every comment he gets. His author's notes are full of things like "sorry this chapter is late, I accidentally gave myself a concussion trying to save a patient's life"

House posts on the Am I The Asshole subreddit but gets annoyed at everything thinking he's the asshole so he immediately deletes his account and pretends it never existed

Cuddy spends an hour of her day responding to the hospital's negative google reviews about "that rude doctor with the cane"

A young patient of Wilson's convinces him to be in a TikTok they're making, and he doesn't really know what that is but he agrees and ends up going semi-viral

Chase is secretly seething with jealousy over Wilson's accidental TikTok success, because Chase has been making thirst-trap videos in his scrubs for months with barely any views (it's because he's trying way too hard)

Thirteen gets really into Drag Race/the local drag scene and accidentally introduces House to gay slang, which he instantly adopts

[preacherboyd]

House M.D. | 6x19 The Choice

[frownyalfred]

Bruce cross-trained all of the Batfamily in weapons handling to an annoying degree which means you can keep handing them increasingly obscure swords and staff etc and they'll twirl it around, mutter "Oh, the BallCrusher 3000, I haven't seen one of these in a while" and then proceed to demonstrate overhand, underhand, and single-hand techniques from memory with flawless form.

[nerdicorntheshipper]

Why isn't the house md fandom on tumblr more obsessed with thirteen. She's slowly dying of a fatal genetic disease. She did body shots off a stripper in front of her boyfriend. She took her boss to a lesbian bar because his best friend said he was sad. She went to jail for euthanizing her own brother. She's one of the only people who genuinely enjoys being around house. She's even bisexual!

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[acidicwerewolf]

I need them to do a reboot of House but I want them to just go fucking wild with it. Everyone's gay, everyone's fucking. House, Wilson, and Cuddy are in a toxic polycule, one that definitely violates work ethics, that ends when Cuddy cheats on them with Cameron. I want it to be just as homophobic, just as ableist, just as fucked up, as the original and yet have the characters all be so fucking woke. Same episodes with the same plots but modern. I want Chase to have an onlyfans.

[luhvrlis]

[vampirecorleone]

"Dana Newman was a beautiful but abused lady who lived in the late 20th century. She had plastic surgeries to alter her perceived flaws, and after a botched experiment that mutilated her eye, she brutally killed herself in a bathtub at the clinic. Her ghost is bloody, naked, and carries the same knife she used to commit suicide." Horror Character Appreciation - Shawna Loyer as The Angry Princess in Thir13en Ghosts (2001) dir. Steve Beck