#THEYRE MY BABIES LIKE IF THEY HAVE NO FANS IM DEAD

[lyrakanefanaticwriting]

Req for a fic of Grayson and Lyras first date pls 🙏

SORRY THIS IS SO LATE IVE BEEN RLLY LAZY NGLLL 😪😪

BUT OFC!! 💗💗

——————————————————————————

Lyra fixed her hair one last time in the mirror, before spraying on a bit of perfume and making sure everything was okay appearance wise. Grayson and her had just started officially dating, once all that pining was over with, and now they were having their first date. Her stomach twisted just thinking about how he’ll be arriving soon. It was new and unexpected, hers and Gray’s relationship, but it was something she wanted to try. Something that she really wanted to work out. She flattened her jacket with a huff at how cold it was, when she heard a knock on her door. Her heart did jumping jacks in her chest as she put on a touch of lip gloss and scurried towards the door. Lyra wasn’t one to be this nervous around a guy, but Grayson wasn’t just a guy to her. He had proven that she could truly love him, and being around him just felt right. Although she wouldn’t tell him she loved him, that’d be far too soon. Putting her hand on the front door knob, she twisted and pulled it open. The sight that was in front of her was Grayson Hawthorne, who was holding a bouquet of calla lilies and dressed in a less fancy suit that was the colour of his eyes and a black thick coat. All of it made Lyra’s stomach twist with nervousness. Playing it cool, she smiled slyly and stepped out, wrapping a scarf around her neck.

“You’re really going to get me flowers that have such a horrific backstory, Hawthorne?” She said, taking them from his hands and smelling them. She sighed from the floral smell and looked up at him. He had smiled back, matching her sly smile from before.

“Who said they were for you? I was just walking around and saw a lovely bouquet shop, one with these beautiful flowers. I think they’re called, caterpillar lilies?” Grayson says, staring at them in her hands as if they were a species from another planet. Lyra snorted and smacked his chest lightly, before walking off. Although Grayson acted stoic and emotionless with everybody else, Lyra knew she could always get a smile and quick remark out of him. While walking past him, her hand brushed his, and he suddenly took her hand. Lyra was taken by surprise for the slightest second, before she smiled and laced her fingers with his. Walking off hand in hand with him, she met his eyes and raised a brow.

“So, what have you got planned for us, Davenport?” She asked him. He smiled back, one of those rarer smiles with his teeth that made Lyra’s heart beat quicken. A dimple showed, and she thought she might never breathe again.

“I can’t ruin the surprise, can I? Besides, the only thing I have planned is to charm you enough so that by the end of the date you’ll eventually call me by my first name.” He replied, a dig at her refusal to use his first name so far. She rolled her eyes.

“Haha.” She said in deadpan. “Now walk a little faster, I’m getting hungry.” She tugged on his hand as her steps quickened, and Grayson shook his head with a smile.

————————————

Their first stop was a nice restaurant, which was utterly beautiful. It was decorated beautifully for Christmas, with stockings hung left and right and an overall cozy atmosphere. It was truly magical, and being there with an even more magical boy, well, Lyra was over the moon. She took the last sip of her coffee, her conversation finally fizzling to an end with Grayson. But still, the look on his face made Lyra raise a brow. There was no way this dinner was it.

“I would be stupid to believe that you don’t have something else planned for us, so instead I’m just going to ask, what should I be expecting?” Lyra asked him, a smile on her face. He had kept his eyes on hers the entire date, but good god it was starting to make her nervous now. And she never got nervous when it came to eye contact! Lyra looked away suddenly, while still waiting for his response, and Grayson, who must have figured out just by the look on her face why she broke eye contact, laughed. Still, he carried on without bringing it up.

“Well, it does have something to do with the winter season. How well are you on ice?” He asked her. Lyra’s eyebrows raised, and she sighed.

“Horrific! You better know how to skate, Grayson, because I’m terrible at it. It’s not like Texas gets very cold anyway, so I barely ever skate.” She said with a huff, crossing her arms. Grayson raised a brow at her.

“When I knocked on your door, you answered wearing gloves, a jacket, and a scarf. You can’t even try and tell me it’s not cold.” He retorted. Lyra’s eyes narrowed to slits. Curse her and her cold blood.

“Alright, fine. I will skate this one time.” Lyra says, looking him dead in the eye again with a haughty expression. Grayson stared at her back, smiling. Then, he leaned over the tiny table and gently took her chin in his hand.

“Could I….?” He asked her, trailing off. With her heart jackrabbiting in her chest, she gives a slight nod, and he kisses her. It was their first kiss throughout the date, and it made her heart ignite and light on fire with love. The kiss didn’t last very long, as they were in a restaurant, and they were about to separate, when they heard a quiet clearing of the throat. Lyra leapt off his lips, pushing her back into the booth chair, and staring a waitress dead in the eye. As soon as her and Lyra made eye contact though, she immediately looked away, and Lyra noticed that her cheeks were pink and she was younger than they were. She also noticed, with an internal groan, a “new employee” sticker on her shirt. Oh no. Did they scare a poor, young waitress on her first day?

“Your bill.” She practically murmured, sliding it across the table and looking away quickly. Lyra glanced at Grayson who also seemed a bit caught off guard, yet was looking someplace else, and followed his gaze. He was staring right at a couple with their phones out, recording, and once the tables around them saw who they were recording, they took their phones out too. Lyra sighed. Looks like there were downsides to being with a billionaire.

“Thank you so much.” Grayson said, sliding a 100 dollar bill across the table. The waitress put the cash in her little pouch, and was about to give him his money back when he put a hand out.

“No need.” He said with a smile. Then, he took 6 other hundred dollar bills and slid them across the table as well, with a clearing of his throat. “And these too, if you could please tell those families to delete the videos they took.” The waitress’ jaw dropped as she stared at all the money on the table, and Lyra’s jaw was dropped too. She knew he was a billionaire, but c’mon, 600 dollars as a tip? It was insane!

“T-thank you so much.” The waitress stammered. Grayson smiled back with a nod, and took Lyra’s hand in his as they walked out of the restaurant. She could just hear photos snapping as they left, and a snort left her mouth.

“You really know how to make an exit, huh?” She asked him. He laughed back and lifted a shoulder.

“I guess I do. Or maybe the entire restaurant just saw a beautiful girl and couldn’t stop taking photos.” He replied, kissing her temple. She smiled, before rolling her eyes.

“Or maybe it’s because I’m with a billionaire who is voted as the “most handsome Hawthorne”.” Lyra said with a laugh. Grayson laughed back. “Now c’mon, before I change my mind about the ice skating.”

—————————————

Lyra and Grayson stepped off the ice finally, and Lyra sighed with relief at finally being on stable ground.

“I think I would have bruised my tailbone if you hadn’t caught me all of those times.” She said, taking her ice skates off and putting on her normal shoes. She had never been more thankful for shoes than right now. Grayson was staring at her instead of taking off his own skates, but with a look from Lyra, he smiled and started to take them off.

“How exhausted are you on a scale from 1-10?” He asked her. Lyra groaned.

“10! I think my legs are about to collapse.” She said. Graysons smile grew before he spoke.

“So, you’re too tired to go inside that bookstore over there and pick out as many books as you want?” He asked her. Lyra stopped putting on her shoes for a moment to side glance at Grayson, and the bookstore he was pointing at. She narrowed her eyes at it, before narrowing her eyes at Grayson. She held his gaze for 6 seconds before sighing and shutting her eyes.

“Fine. But I’m paying for the books, since you payed for dinner.” Lyra said, getting up and putting her ice skates back in the rental station. Glancing at the sky again, Lyra just now realized that it was getting dark. Grayson raised a brow at her.

“Sure you are.” He said, shaking his head with a smile, and taking her hand. She furrowed her brows and gave him a look.

“I am, Grayson.” She said, staring at him with a look on her face. He returned the look but didn’t reply, and Lyra just knew that he was going to put up a fight at the cash register.

—————————————

Lyra had picked out an arrangement of books with a grin on her face: Classics, romances, mysteries, fantasies, anything that she thought would be interesting or that she heard was interesting from Max. There were about 7-8 books in Grayson’s arms, as he was holding them for her, and he put them down on the counter. Lyra smiled at the cashier who made small talk with her, and all was well until another employee came up to her. The other employee whispered something in her ear, and she sighed before turning to the two of them.

“There’s an issue with the storage room, so I’m just going to check that out very quickly. I’ll be just a moment.” She said patiently. “In the meantime, just tap or swipe the card reader for me there.” She walked off, leaving Grayson and Lyra at the counter. Lyra turned to him, already knowing by the look on his face what he was up to.

“I’m paying Grayson.” She said, giving him a look. Grayson gave a subtle half shrug, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“I know. I was just looking at you because I think you’re beautiful,” He said, taking her hand in his. “And every moment spent with you is too.” Lyra’s mouth was in an “o” shape, and she held in a breath as Grayson lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. Lyra was stuck, her heart thumping in her chest like a drum, when a sudden beeping sound brings her back to the present. She glances at the card reader, and sees Grayson’s free hand reached out towards it, as well as his platinum black card on it. Now she was really gasping. Slipping her hand out of his grasp, she brought them to her hips.

“Wow.” Was all she said, furrowing her brows at him but not being able to hide her smile. She turned around so he wouldn’t have to see, but Grayson held her waist and spun her back around. He was about to speak when the employee comes back.

“Alrighty guys! Sorry about that wait, would you like a receipt?” She asked, clearly not being able to tell what had happened between the two or really just not caring. Lyra blushed before nodding her head, not trusting herself to be able to speak. Grayson blew out a laugh, before saying thank you to the employee, taking the receipt, and walking out the door with Lyra’s hand in his. They walk out, laughing and chatting, and although she was laughing too hard to tell, Lyra thought her heart felt 10 times lighter.

——————————————————————————-

(EXTRA) GRAYSON:

Grayson went back home after dropping Lyra off at her house, a ghost of a smile still on his face, when he sees Jameson, Xander, and Nash waiting for him by the foyer. He raised a brow, and saw that Nash and Jamie were smirking. He was about to ask them why, when Jameson beat him to his own question.

“How was your date?” He asked. Grayson paused, before making a face at Jameson.

“I didn’t tell you I was on a date, why do you think that?” He said, his smile growing the slightest bit. Xander grinned.

“My detective skills! You’re not dressed too fancy, which means that you were with Lyra because she likes it when you dress toned down, and you’re smiling!” He said, as if that were a once in a lifetime occurrence. Grayson rolled his eyes at him, before he remembered something. Then, he raised a brow.

“You saw the video of me and Lyra kissing didn’t you?” He asked in deadpan. Jameson burst out laughing, and even Nash couldn’t keep a snort from leaving his mouth.

“Yes!” Jameson said, he pulled out his phone, and showed a low quality video of Grayson pulling Lyra by her chin and kissing her. “This is you kissing Lyra without any filters, and this is you kissing Lyra with filters!” He was wearing an evil grin, and Grayson was a bit scared when he looked at his phone and started tapping the screen. He brought it up a second later to show Grayson.

“This is you and Lyra kissing with the dog emoji on, this is you and Lyra kissing with sombrero hats,” He kept swiping, pausing for a second only to laugh before continuing to monologue the filters. Grayson internally groaned. “This is you and Lyra kissing with frog heads, this is you and Lyra kissing underwater, this is-“

“I think he gets it, Jamie.” Nash drawled, cutting in with a smirk. He gave Grayson a look that said “you’re welcome”, and Grayson had never been more thankful for him in his entire life. Grayson quickly thought up an escape.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to my room. It’s getting late.” Grayson said. Jameson and Xander snickered, whereas Nash just smiled.

“Nighty night Gray!” Jameson called out as he turned and walked off. “Try not to dream about Lyra’s lips!” A sudden explosion of laughter goes off behind him, and Grayson shook his head with a smile. Putting his hand in his coat pocket, he feels the paper receipt from the book store. He smoothed it out with one hand, smiling to himself as he remembered how flustered Lyra got when he kissed her hand. It gave him a feeling that he couldn’t quite place, one that he hadn’t felt in years. One that made him feel like maybe, this time, he really did belong. He belonged with her, and Grayson just knew that he was going to feel that way for a long time.

——————————————————————————

IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I JUST HAD SO MANY IDEAS AND HAD TO INVOLVE THEM ALL 😭😭💔

PLUS YOU KNOW I HAD TO ADD AN EXTRA SCENE OF GRAYSONS BROTHERS BULLYING HIM BC I AM EXTRA 😪😪

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!! 💗💗💗 (and im sorry again about being late 😓)

[norrizzandpia]

can we get pt 2 of 34+35 where yn releases nonsense or positions, everyone is more confused because are we talking about the same guy?? in response all yn does is mention his thighs 💀💀

YES MAAM OFC I LOVE THIS STORYLINE

WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n always loved to mess with the fans. Fortunately, the best way to do that is spill their sex life.

Warnings: sexual conversations, language

Note: THE THIGHS 😫😫😫😫😫 SO MANY WORDS NOT ENOUGH TIME 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ynnn Nonsense out now! 💋

Comments:

osc81fan I- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

piaosc ARE WE SURE ALL OF US ARE TALKING ABT THE CORRECT MAN?

- mclarenpiaandlan YEAH WTF HOW IS THIS OSCAR

mclarensgirlll SHE DID THIS LAST TIME AND WE NEVER RECOVERED

- landonorris ILL NEVER RECOVER.

oscarpiastri ITS ABOUT MEEEEEEEE 🤭🤭

- danielricciardo we are aware.

- maxverstappen i think youve said that enough

- charlesleclerc YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE LITTLE OSCAR 😰😰😰

- ynnn definitely not LITTLE oscar 😏

- alexalbon STOP.

——

ynnn maybe i lied? Lookin’ at him doesn’t have me thinkin’ nonsense, it has me thinkin…

Comments:

oscarpiastri my girlfriend everyone 😀

- mclarensgirlll hes probably giggling at his phone at this very moment

- landonorris and youd be right!

maxverstappen IM SO SCARED FOR MY LIFE

- danielricciardo WE CANT ESCAPE IT

- alexalbon HE PLAYS THE SONGS EVERYWHERE

- landonorris IT NEVER ENDS.

ln4andop81 anyone else curious abt what shes going to say on that podcast next week where theyre infamous for asking abt sex????

- oscpastry i bet you oscar will forever be changed for us

- mclarensgirlll he already is 🥲

——

TWITTER

ln4andop81 IN HONOR OF 24 HOURS BEFORE Y/NS PODCAST EPISODE, DROP THE MOST SHOCKING LYRICS FROM NONSENSE DOWN BELOW

- oscpastry “you said you like my eyes and you like the make em roll” SOOOO BASICALLY WHEN WERE THOSE WORDS FALLING FROM OUR BABY’S LIPS????

- mclarenpiaandlan REAL BECAUSE HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS 😭😭

- mclarensgirlll I THINK THE LYRIC “opposite of soft” LET US KNOW HE IS WAYYYY MORE EXPERIENCED THAN WE THOUGHT

- piaosc DOM OSCAR????? FUCKING HOW. IN. WHAT. WORLD.

- ynnn this world! 💋

- piaosc IS THIS SOME SORT OF GAME???

- mclarenpiaandlan THE PATTERN IS PATTERNING

- mclarensgirlll ITS SO ICONIC MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT

——

TWITTER

ln4andop81 hows everyone doing after that podcast….

- mclarensgirlll “WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI?” trending on twitter makes me feel less alone after listening to Y/n’s tell all

- mclarenpiaandlan host: “whats your favorite body part of oscar’s?” Y/n: “his thighs” BY THEN I ALREADY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING BUT THE HOST HAD TO KEEP GOING host: *giggling* “why?” Y/n: “10 out of 10 for riding” I THINK MY BRAIN WENT DEAD FOR A SEC

- piaosc GIRLY KEPT GOING TOO host: “did you ask or, like, how did that come about?” Y/n: “well, he was just kind of sitting there, manspread ya know, and he caught on the minute he saw the way i was looking at him. Ive never see him so excited before.” *laughing* “i think he enjoys it more than me!”

- ln4andop81 no words. Host: “so he knows you like his thighs?” Y/n: “Oh my god, yeah! I hate him for it but he purposefully wears his shortest pair of shorts around the house so when he sits, that’s all I see. I’m telling you, Oscar knows how much I love his body and he knows EXACTLY how to use it.” Host: “what do you mean?” Y/n: “just that the shirtless photo i posted of him is one of many and the rest of them could not be up on the internet for longer than 5 seconds before being taken down because they’re borderline all pornographic” OSCAR???? BABY BOY??? WHO ARE YOU.

- mclarensgirlll BRO AND THEN host: “your new song, Nonsense, mentions things being more rough than soft. Is that really true with him?” Y/n: “Are you kidding?! The fans who think he’s super innocent and pure are in for some serious whiplash when i say that he is anything but that. He’s not Oscar when we’re in bed. He’s some alter ego who has no problem fucking against a random wall.” UHHHHHHHHHHH RUE WHEN WAS THIS????

- oscarpiastri now THAT is one thing i wont be answering 😊

- ynnn knowing myself ill probably reveal it in some song in the future 🤦🏼‍♀️

- mclaren maybe try and hold off on that one plz bestie 😙

- landonorris ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^🙏🏻

- danielricciardo ^^

- alexalbon ^^^

- maxverstappen ^

- charlesleclerc ^^^^

[whyse7vn]

RUMOURS -

[ot7 x reader]

3D OUT NOW!

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: guys be honest am i puppy coded

jin: you are rat coded

tae: no i’m not guys tell him i’m not

jk: cheese

hobi: GUYS DID YOU SEE THE STATEMENT BIGHIT JUST PUT OUT FOR THE Y/N AND YOONGI DATING RUMOURS???????

jimin: the what?

jk: THE WHAT?

tae: arf?

jin: you can’t force the puppy lifestyle

tae: you don’t know anything

guys tell him he knows nothing

jimin: were they not just fighting like???

namjoon: they made a statement about it?

tae: but bighit denied it right?

jk: RIGHT?

hobi: THATS THE CRAZY PART

jimin: no fucking way

jk: STOP LYING

namjoon: but they were literally just in a meeting about it?

like i’m not joking like 10 minutes ago they were in the conference room

they had to deny it no?

jk: RIGHT TELL HIM NAMJOON

namjoon: unless theyre actually together

jk: nO NO

NOT TRUE

TRUST ME

hobi: Hello.

This is BIGHIT MUSIC.

We would like to inform our fans that we as a company do not control relationships our artists may engage in.

This is in relation to the recent rumours concerning BTS SUGA and Y/n.

As this is a matter that concerns our artists personal lives we can not confirm or deny these rumours.

We ask that fans to respect both artists privacy and remind you that our company will spare no effort in providing legal support for our artists if it is needed.

We ask you for your continued love and support for both SUGA and Y/n and and a reminder that fellow BTS member Jungkook releases his solo single “3D” featuring Jack Harlow on September 29th.

IS THIS NOT INSANE

jin: the jungkook plug at the end???

jk: SO ITS NOT TRUE

THEY ARE NOT TOGETHER

namjoon: oh

tae: they could be

jimin: @ y/n @ yoongi wya

are you together? be honest

y/n: hiiiiiiiiiiii

jk: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

yoongi: hello

jk: kill yourself

tae: babe tell me why you didn’t tell them to deny it

look me in the eyes

tell me the truth baby it’s just you and me

namjoon: we are in a gc

tae: you and me angle

jin: do you mean angel you fucking idiot

tae: baby 🥺

who is this man??

namjoon: i am curious tho

why didn’t you deny?

y/n: no point

tae: the point is we are in love

hobi: ok but are you together?

yoongi: who knows

jimin: obviously you fucking stupid bitch

jin: he wanna be mysterious so bad 😭

jk: this is not true

i won’t accept this

I WONT

namjoon: soooo

yoongi: it’s lowkey true anyways

namjoon: it is?

tae: IT IS???????

jk: NOT

IT IS NOT TRUE

THATS WHAT HES SAYING

yoongi: that is not what i’m saying

jimin: ur officially together?

y/n: we are not

yoongi: yet

y/n: yoongi!!!

yoongi: :3

jin: ew ok i want to throw up

hobi: i can’t stand you guys already

tae: i’m in a wheelchair actually

thanks a lot guys

namjoon: ok

jk: NOT OK

jimin: so scoups wasn’t the one for you then?

or mingyu?

jungkook???

or that san guy

not even minho????

i liked minho

shownu?

OH what about the young one

what was his name again

??

OH MARK

what happened to mark?

hobi: OMG WHAT ABOUT BAEKHYUN????

tae: YOU FUCKED WITH BAEKHYUN AND NOT ME??

WHEN

TELL ME WHEN

PLEASE DONT TELL ME IT WAS IN THE 2014-2016 TIMELINE

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

IT WAS WASN’T IT

OH MY GOD IM GONNA THROW UP

THROWING UP AS I TYPE

BELHHHHHHHH 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮

namjoon: shut the fuck up

y/n: leave me alone

half of that list is a lie anyways

i am not a whore!

jimin: lowkey a lie but ok!

namjoon: jimin

jimin: what???

i still support my queen like yess you go girl catch flights not feelings or whatever the girls are saying these days

jin: y/n how do you not have like stds ?

yoongi: wtf is wrong with you

y/n: CUz IM NOT A WHORE

i don’t just fuck anybody

jimin: lied again cuz wtf is jungkook?

hobi: dead by now

probably

y/n: kook is special don’t be mean

jk: hehe i am >.<

hobi: what did i fuck did i tell you about heheing in this gc

jk: srry

jin: jungkook needs to be like deeply studied like he’s actually not fucking right and it’s scary

i’m scared

like how are you ignoring the fact that the girl you in love with is in your face basically claiming another man

and not just any man literally one of your closet friends

like the fact you can forget all of that after one compliment from her is insane

you are insane

jk: no i’m special tell him y/n

y/n: my special boy <3

jk: HEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHDHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

yoongi: we are not close friends btw

y/n: don’t start

yoongi: :3

tae: ok idc can you deny the rumours now

jk: PLEASE

yoongi: no

namjoon: as much as i for what ever you guys have got going on i really think you should deny the rumours

yoongi: no

jk: YEAH

WOOO PUT UR FOOT DOWN JOON

TELL HIM

TELL HIM

WOOO WOOO

I LOVE KIM NAMJOON

tae: ???

why are you for what they have going on please pick a fucking side namjoon you cannot be the middle man

namjoon: can you guys shut up for 2

seconds

tae: 1

jungkook say 2

jk: 2

tae: we did

namjoon: you really didn’t

hobi: JUNGKOOK YOU HEHEED AGAIN YOU BETTER STOP ONE MORE TIME AND ILL GET PHYSICAL

jk: i’m sorry ��

namjoon: anyways as i was saying i think it would be better to deny the the rumours now for y/ns sake she gets enough hate as it is and this will really only add to it

jimin: wait ur kinda right my poor girl :/

tae: i can give her love dw

come into my arms baby

cum 2 me

yoongi: kill yourself

jk: ILL PROTECT YOU Y/N

y/n: means the world jk

jk: AHHHHHHH :DDDDDDDD

yoongi: he’s lame

y/n: don’t

yoongi: :3

y/n: and thank you for ur concern joonie but i’m literally in a dating scandal every other week there’s honestly no point the hate was bound to come anyways

and plus the love out weighs the hate so i’m sosososo good

namjoon: i don’t believe you but ok

hobi: LMAOOOO

sorry not funny

tae: weak ass fucking leader ohmy god

where is ur sense of authority

where is ur dominance?

hobi: stop talking

y/n: we do not want to hear ur furry talk

tae: THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR ALPHA YOUNG LADY

now come here let me scent you

hobi: actually end your life

y/n: please

yoongi: come over

jin: geez buy me dinner first

jimin: fat bitch

jin: im literally gonna put this on twitter and get you cancelled

jimin: noooo not to ur 13 followers my career is done for i’m telling you

hobi: what’s ur eta what’s ur eta

jk: idk et sorry

and also idk who a is either

i’m sorry

hobi: LEAVE ME ALONE

jk: i said i was sorry

i hope u find them

hobi: i have a gun to ur head in my mind rn

jk: don’t shoot 😂

wrong emoji

*🥲

PLEASE I HAVE A FAMILY

jimin: of lice

jin: omg rice sounds so good rn

jimin: i said lice wow ur actually fat

jin: NAMJOON TELL HIM HES BEING PROBLEMATIC

namjoon: jimin ur being problematic

jimin: namjoon tell him he’s being big

namjoon: go away please

tae: ok why have the rumours not been denied

y/n: why are we back to this

yoongi: she wants me that’s why

jk: NO

NO

NO TRUE

ARE YOU HER SPECIAL BOY

YOU ARE NOT

BECAUSE I AM

AND I HAVE PROOF

SO SHUT THE HELL UP

yoongi: thats cool and all but where are your dating rumours?

jk: SHUT THE HELL UP SHUT THE HELL UPPPPPPPP

y/n: stop being losers

jk: i’m in love with you

yoongi: :3

jin: insanity

tae: yoongi say something for me rq

yoongi: no

tae:

hobi: HELPPPPOO

jimin: LMAO

y/n: PLS

yoongi: ur actually a child and i do not use light mode so this just looks stupid

jin: was still funny with dark mode

yoongi: no it wasn’t

tae: it was

everyone laughed

don’t be mad i made everyone laugh

cuz u know u could NEVER

yoongi: namjoon didn’t laugh

tae: namjoon isn’t even a man

namjoon: ???

jk: i use light mode

jimin: what

jin: omg

hobi: ew

yoongi: as expected

tae: bro

y/n: kookie…

jk: IS THAT BAD OHMYGOD IS IT BAD HOW DO I CHANGE IT?? IS THAT BAD

AM I A BAD PERSON

I AM

I AM

I KNOW I AM

I SHOULD BE LOCKED UP

THEY NEED TO LOCK ME UP

PLEASE LOCK ME UP

NO JUST KILL ME

JUST KILL ME AND LET ME ROT

NO TORTURE ME

MAKE SURE IT HURTS REAL BAD

AND THEN LIKE

COOK BAM INFRONT OF ME AND MAKE ME EAT HIM AS I BEG YOU ALL TO STOP AND I START THROWING UP

THEN CHOKE ME UNTIL I CANT BREATE AND WATCH AS THE LIFE SLOWLY LEAVES MY EYES

namjoon: what the fuck

y/n: what did bam do

tae: that’s pretty messed up

jin: are you ok?

jimin: …

yoongi: fucking freak

hobi: woah

jk: punish me

namjoon: clam down

jk: please

y/n: crazy!

jk: kiss me

i know i don’t deserve it but kiss me

yoongi: go away

tae: kiss me

jk: NO

tae: ngl i’m sick of hoseok guys

hobi: what did i do

tae: leave me alone

hobi: i’m literally having sex with ur mother rn

tae: OMG????

PLS NO

namjoon: both of you just shut up please

hobi: you saw how he came for me for no reason and ur telling me to shut up??

are u fr rn…

i feel so betrayed rn

jimin: horny rn

y/n: gross

jimin: come fix it

yoongi: shut the fuck up

jk: DON’T SPEAK TO HER LIKE THAT

namjoon: i have a headache

jin: shut the hell up

namjoon left “3D OUT NOW!!”

y/n: wow jin

jk: namjoon :(

jimin: jin wtf did you do

hobi: what the hell seokjin

tae: ofc it was jin

yoongi: big jin L

jin: IT WASN’T MY FALUT

HE WAS WHINING LIKE A BITCH

jk: you should apologise

tae: bully

y/n: poor joonie

jimin: say sorry

hobi: always so mean for no reason

yoongi: 👎🏻

jin: u guys are actually not right in the head leave me alone

—

PT 2 TWITTER WORK HERE

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf

[munsster]

kurt kunkle and his bimbo girlfriend

A/N: this week has literally forced me to be obsessed with this greasy little slasher (soooooo my inbox is surely open!) (gif creds: @stevesnailbat)

Pairing: Kurt Kunkle x Fem!Bimbo!Reader

Warnings: Spree (2020) related content, kurt kunkle, smut/suggestive themes, MDNI, slasher themes (blood, gore, murder, ghostface), pet names (baby, slasher), cam/stream sex

im sorry but gamer bf x bimbo gf trope is actually flooring me rn

he’s just this greasy little streamer you started watching and you’re this total babe who’s obsessed with him

and you are really obsessed with him

you are literally his Number one fan

if kurt kunkle has 100 fans, youre one of them. if kurt kunkle has 1 fan, its you. if kurt kunkle has no fans, you’re dead.

you plugging kurtsworld96 at any given chance, like he’s so confused the first time he hears you do it, but then he gets so happy and just pulls you in

you being the first one to be super excited about his amount of viewers/followers

a celebratory kiss for ur streamer bf 🥰

also getting really worried when he seems to be in a little bit of trouble (ie cops in the background yikes)

him always reassuring you that he’s fine and he’ll figure it out

you dont know it but he’ll do anything you say, even if it meant turning off his stream for the night

you literally suggested doing cam stuff together before chat suggested it, but now chat is like obsessed with that because theyre a bunch of pervs

you treating chat like a sassy lil mama (“ew! behave yourselves” “ask nicely” “‘put it in her ass’ oh cmon, you know better” “shhh, quit being bratty, thats not how good little viewers get what they want, now is it?”)

youre such a lil price gouger, youre like “okay if someone sends in $50, i’ll let you guys watch us” and chat loves you so obviously they end up doing that

kurt really really loves you, plus you do wonders for his numbers. viewers basically double when he even mentions you

“‘kill your gf’ pfft yeah right, i know all his tricks, i’d like to see him try!” and you’re like in his lap and grinning and he just grins at you and when you turn to face him, he lands a big ol smooch on you

even after months of being together, he still gets nervous around you

and you always tell him to “relax, baby, it’s just me” all while he’s literally buzzing in your presence

he probably likes his hair pulled tbh

like even when you just run your fingers through his hair, he’s purring, he’s so slutty for it

asking him to do skincare/haircare with you as an excuse to take showers together 😝

like of course he’s gonna do it 1) because he loves you and 2) because afterwards, he smells like a candy store

you picking out his outfits because what he wears now is actually a cry for help

no because he would actually let you treat him like a dress up doll

you being really excited about it and telling him to do GRWM and OOTD segments on his streams (which are completely led + narrated by you, but he doesn’t need to know that)

him teaching you how to play video games (even though you already kinda know, you let him have his moment)

you designing the clickbait thumbnails for all of his youtube videos and they’re definitely all sparkly and pink and cute

you begging him to come with you to get your nails done, telling him he doesn’t have to get his nails done, you just want him to go with you

but of course, you convince him to get his nails done (just a basic polish *cough cough* in literally neon green, his choice) and he flaunts it to stream

he definitely makes fun of bobby like “my girlfriend is literally so hot. where’s yours? oh wait……”

and you HATE bobby

you think he’s a bad friend to kurt, but you’d never tell him that. you just scheme like “noooo baby, hang out with me, not bobby” and he’s like okay 🥰

also him being a little protective and possessive over you

like when other attractive people glance at you, he’ll grab your hand or put his arm around you or ask for a little kiss (all of which you do happily)

i love yous are thrown around like none other, and it makes him blush everytime. even when youre just tuning in, if he gets that “i love you, slasher” message, he’ll go red as a tomato

oh that reminds me: youre favorite movies being slasher films like scream and scary movie and american psycho, and he’s not stupid so he definitely senses the theme there

bonus: he definitely buys one of those ghostface masks just to surprise you (and get into your pants)

you offering to help clean his car after particularly gory kills (and he knows ur really good with aesthetics and detail work)

also you cleaning him up after particularly gory kills 🥺

like he’ll come home with blood streaked down his face, and you’re like “aw baby 😟 c’mere”

he LOVES it, he feels like a little puppy dog around you because you take care of him so well

you are all about sneak attack kisses, and he never knows what to do with them, he just sits there and smiles while you hold his face and pecks his lips

bro eventually, he’ll start laying the rizz down on you (and he’s not very good at it but) its so sweet that he’s genuinely trying and happy

like he’ll just spit pick-up line after pick-up line whenever you’re around, and you just giggle and kiss him on the cheek

you don’t even have to ask and he’ll buy you cute clothes. not that he’s insanely rich or like raking it in, but he makes enough, and he will spend money on something nice for you before he buys something for himself

him begging to drive you anywhere and anywhere even though your car works perfectly fine, he just wants to do things for you

also him begging to rig your car with cameras, too, just so when he does have to be in your car, he can still stream

ummm bonus: he definitely sets up a camera above his bed so like not only can he do sleeping streams, but…. you know…… angles 😌

you bringing him snacks and drinks during his stream and he gets the biggest googly eyes

you’ll just walk in in like the skimpiest little outfits, grinning and winking at the camera before giving kurtie a sloppy kiss

yall he’s so fucking dumb (in a loving way), but you’ll get into the car in like the most revealing and tight top and he’ll get all nervous and try to angle the cameras like ‘yall seeing this???’ all while smirking to himself

him accidentally referring to you as his wife on multiple occasions while streaming

letting you put your songs in the queue every so often

bonus: after hearing you play it literally once, his new favorite song is ‘stars are blind’ by paris hilton. that shit bangs and he knows it

him making you a playlist of all his songs (and he actually falls in love when you mention the fact that you listen to it almost constantly)

he actually can’t believe you love him and you’re of fan of his work and you’re actually the cutest thing he’s ever seen (nice tits, too)

it takes a lot of convincing and proof on his part that you truly love him, but you’re not shy about showing it and you’ll prove it to him anytime he needs

masterlist

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[screampied]

vegas, i leave for couple days, you post ANOTHER toji fic. its like you wanted me to come back bc its literally four paragraphs in and im SCREAMINGGGG

the “oh yeah” when he walks in i moaned. LOLZZZZZZZ I GIGGLED SAUR HARD LIKE UGH i havent even finished reading this 😭

“uh, ill talk to you guys later” “nah, keep that shit on” i bit my fist. theres currently bite marks on my fist ARGH HES SO DADDY

the insults.. LMFOAOAOOAOAOAPAP “he looks like he doesnt shower” I CABT DEAL

oh my.. “i was gonna for three days and you forgot how to act” TEACH ME HOW TO SCT IM OBEDIENT 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻 sorry that was uncalled for.

honestly when she said she faked everything i said LIARRRRR out loud bc i wouldve came from the kiss.. coughs.. OH MY GOD “eyes up here, not them. theyre not the ones who are gonna fuckin eat you out are they” BUSSANUTTTTT

im sorry these comments are actually making me cry “even my domain has better quality than this” “clean up aisle my pants > . <” LFMAO I CANT DO THIS 😭😭

the detail. i might as well be the viewer watchin that stream cuz LAWDDDDDDDSS 😻 “mhm, pull on it” i came :P “..harder” AHAT??? HELLO??? i squirted. “that’s what im talking about” yeah im two more sexy lines away from touching myself . THAT SOUNDS SO WILD IM SOREY 😭😭

oh my GAWDWDWDS “feels good when you do that” “yeah cause i know what the fuck im doing” pla have mercy. HAVE MERTHY. im sorry he fingered me under a dinner table with my PADRE talking to me?? WHYUUULLLDDDD (wild) but we luv it 😻

“told you to keep those fuckin on me” coughs i js screamed. “yeah.” MFGGGFFFFGHHHH IM CLAWIN THE WALLLSS.

“baby hold it” YAWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLL IVE LOST MY BREATH WHYS THAT SOOOO then rhe comments. PLEASE 😭

“petition to have toji oiled and cheeked up” signed! 😛 “dad?” “lol no.” LFMAOOAOAOAO 😭😭

OHH???? “i cabt wait” “yes you fucking can, if i tell my girl to wait, she’s gonna wait.” ORDERS ARE BEING FOLLOWED ILL WAIT BB 🤤🤤🤤 THE FICS NOT EVEN OVER IT JS KEEPS CUMMING. btw, i love how they be like arch it for me/ass up like YOHHH 😻😻😻

“sorryyyy” shes so real for that. “but sweetheart, you’re not sorry.” “huh?” “huh?” ive got a mocking kink now bc of you 🙁 now whenever i get mocked or teased i giggle 🙁🙁 i act like a whore 24/7 😒 TALK TO ME NICE AAYFGGHHHH I LOVE THAT LINE IM GONNA DIE

“girl hello? i wasnt talking to you” HES SO SASSY 😭😭 but the fact he talkin to my pussy like SHE LOVES YOU TEW 🤤 THESE COMMENTS GET OUT GOJO ASKING FOR THE ONLY FANS N GETO ASKING FOR IR ☠️ “please toji im a single mom” IM DEAD 😭

we’re getting caught on stream.. im leaving.

IM HERE NO ALL MIGHT GASPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?????? “shit i think im in love with you” OUUUUUUUU HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU JOKING HELLO KNOCK KNOCK NO PUNCHLINE ARE WE SRS YOHHHHH??

i LOVED this, sorry for waffling but WEOOOWWW you ate this one UP veve > 0 <

— pearl anon <3

YOHHHH IM GEEEEEKEDDDDD 😭😭🥹🥹

first of all welcome back pearly 🙋‍♀️🙆‍♀️ i hope you've been well this saturday <3

and LMAOOOOOOOO

IMCRYIKMGGGH the chat was the best part to make omg 💔 like i’d pay so much to see toji double cheeked n oiled up im just saying 🤷‍♀️

TALK TO ME NICEEEEEE 😫😫😫 omg ikr i love the line real bad n it just fits toji so well like ??? IMSO GLADDDDYOU LIKE ITTTTTT i was so close to scrapping it but we pulled through 🙇‍♀️

two more lines away from touching yourself HELPPPPPDPDGGG

omg thank you pookie this lowkey brightened my day i appreciate it commentary forever n always ☹️☹️☹️💟💟💟💟💟

[bigbumder96]

account introduction thing!!!??

ngl i feel a bit goofy doing this🙁forgive me if this is weird, im used to getting attacked on tiktok for literally nothing (i rarely use tumblr)

general:

name: darcie

age: im a minor😭

gender: girl (she/her :3 )

sexuality: lesbian

from/live in: england unfortunately😣 east london specifically, or essex depending on if u focus on the postcode or the london borough😭 officially its east london tho

interests:

tv shows:

- the inbetweeners

- white gold

- station 19 (still have to catch up on the latest episode lmao

- 9-1-1 (also still have to catch up one episode😭)

- fresh meat

- ted lasso

- heartbreak high (both the old version and the reboot !!! i dont prefer one over the other, although i do tend to post about the 90s one more lmaooo)

- friday night dinner

- this country

- call the midwife

- ackley bridge

- baby reindeer (i wouldnt exactly call it an interest, this show fucking traumatised me, but i watched it like last week😭)

- phoenix rise

- moment of eighteen (a k-drama btw!!)

- move to heaven (also a k-drama!!)

- there she goes

- benidorm

- skins (only gen 2 tho im afraid😞)

- the inBESTigators (dont judge lmfao😭😭😭)

- little lunch (i cant theyre js both such good shows)

- dodo (a cartoon)

- taskmaster (only season eight tho for the icon joe thomas‼️)

- mr bigstuff

- supacell

im currently watching derry girls and jamie johnson atm !!

films:

- the shawshank redemption

- the green mile

- goodbye charlie bright (my absolute fav omg)

- the business

- the football factory (theyre making the sequel to this at my school im so happy i love nick love films😍i didnt see nick love himself tho💔)

- good will hunting

- bohemian rhapsody

- dead mans shoes

- ferris buellers day off

- harry brown

- little miss sunshine

- the inbetweeners movie

- the inbetweeners 2

- white chicks

- the basketball diaries

- mid90s

- spiderman: into the spider-verse

- spiderman: across the spider-verse

music:

- alex g (fav song: too many to put here, but if i had to pick then prolly the whole race, trick, and rules album😭)

- tv girl (fav song: better in the dark, louise, and daughter of a cop)

- the fratellis (fav song: i honestly dk, i havent gotten that much into them yet😣i js listened to one of their albums and played fifa)

- the killers (fav song: read my mind and andy youre a star)

- the smiths (fav song: girl afraid, bigmouth strikes again, and this night has opened my eyes. guys i swr i liked them songs before they got popular im acc rly annoyed at the tiktofication of bigmouth strikes again and this night has opened my eyes😣)

- queen (fav song: spread your wings and long away)

- the stone roses (fav song: i wanna be adored and made of stone. basic i know😣😣)

- the jam (fav song: down in the tube station at midnight, david watts, and man in the corner shop)

- oasis (live forever. icba to type ‘fav song’ anymore😭)

- mac the knife (here to stay)

- mitski (why didnt you stop me, goodbye my danish sweetheart, me and my husband, your best american girl, once more to see you, etcetera…)

extras:

- im into football and i am a big arsenal fan !!!! my fav player is def martin ødegaard, and i may or may not be one of those deluded emile smith-rowe fans who think that hes gonna have a huge comeback and be like he was two seasons ago🤫🤫🤫

(edit: im gonna kms he left arsenal🙁)

i also support england as a country (obviously) plus a tad bit of dagenham amd redbridge, because they are my local ! (before you call me a glory hunter, ive supported arsenal since i was 3 because thats what my mum and grandparents support!!! also its a bit hard to support your local when not all the games are televised and you cant afford a season ticket, not to mention i had no clue who dagenham and redbridge were when i was choosing a football team, because i had no clue how leagues worked and i didnt gaf about football tbh💀)

- i like webtoons! my fav is jacksons diary, our walk home, and crystal city killers😱 (please does anyone have any cute wlw webtoon recs im so desperate)

- in year seven my drama teacher made us watch a play (on the screen, not irl) called slowtime but we didnt get to finish it💔my teacher spoiled the ending but i didnt care and tracked down the rest of that video bcs slowtime is such a good play i love everything abt it😍

- last year i was obsessed with this book series called football academy (written by tom palmer) and it was genuinely so good but there was nobody myp age cuz it was for kids💔i dont rly read them anymore, but the interest is still there if someone by chance has read them please contact me and have a conversation with me about it🙏🙏🙏

- i also have a very obscure interest about london boroughs??? like i dont even know a lot about them, i just love talking about/watching videos about london boroughs... i blame the lb guy on tiktok

i apologise as this was very long, and i probably wont even post that much😭 sorry for the yapping tho🙏🙏🙏

[haemosexuality]

FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET I MEAN IT!!!!!!!

my thoughts on the movie UwU

ok first of i LOVED what they did with mike's character???? its different from the games canon (or different from the most popular theories??? i can never remember what is actually canon and whats accepted fanon) but its sooooo interesting. making him the brother of one of the victims was SO unexpected but it worked really really well. tho going into the movie with preconceived notions ab the story fucked me up somewhat bc i took so long to accept he wasnt michael afton 😣 tho i feel the movie mightve been setting fans up that way lol

on that note his brother confused me somewhat? cuz he was one of the missing children but he wasnt one of the 5 spirits was he??? maybe he was and i just didnt notice KSBSKDBSKD ill look out for it on my second watch

WILLIAM. MOTHER FUCKING AFTON. OH MY GODDDDDDD THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE and honestly seeing everyones reaction to it was SO cool. when springtrap appeared everyone screamed and clapped. when he started dying everyone screamed and clapped even louder. and when he said "I ALWAYS COME BACK" everyone LOST THEIR FUCKING MIND SCREAMING CRYING YELLING CLAPPING WHOOPING IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD

AND THE VANESSA REVEAL????? i think thats completely different from game vanessa lore mostly bc william aftons daughter in the game was elizabeth/baby and shes fucking dead but idk vanessa lore so who knows. all i know is that it WORKED MAN i did NOT see that coming but i HONESTLY REALLY LIKED IT AND AGAIN EVERYONE IN THE THEATER LOST THEIR MINDS WE WERE ALL LIKE "WHAT?????" (edit: i saw an youtuber point out that this cant be the same vanessa from sb bc this is set in like the 90s and sb's in the future. maybe this is something like, they put two vanessas so we know that sometimes different characters just have the same name and dont get too hang up on mike smith vs michael afton lol)

i also like how they did williams character. i usually dont like purely evil 2d villains but i feel that fits afton way more than "sad scientist goes insane cuz he lost his kid oh no :(". like it just fits fnaf!!!!!!!

another thing that was completely different from the game was the animatronics. like in the game theyre "like animals" but in the movie they all seemed very, aware??? msking decisions? they def had a mind and it was cheesy sure but i also liked it. i just loved this movie. and everything about it. i went into it knowing it was absolutely not going to be 1:1 with the game so i dont mind im just so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IMMEDIATELY STARTING WITH A JOKE ON DREAM THEORY LMFAOOOOOOOO. "SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE IT"

MATPAT? MOTHERFUCKING MATPAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

THE EASTER EGGS!!! THE REFERENCES!!!!!! THERE WERE SO MANY AND THEY MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY EVERY TIME OH MY GOD

im not gonna remember all of them but I WANT THE MIDNIGHT MOTORIST HOODIE

max did NOT deserve to die that upset me. she was fine!!!!!!!

also the violence wasnt anything super crazy but it was def more than i expected. also they swore

THE ANIMATRONICS ARE SO FUCKING COOL DUDE OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE REAL

also golden freddy wasnt a girl in the movie. F cassidy

i like mikes character sooooo much ive said so before and im saying it again. vanessa too

THE SONG THE FUCKING SONG THE LIVING TOMBSTONE PLAYING IN THE FUCKINF CREDITS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE

this one is only for the brazilians in here but i actually liked the dub? this sentiment might change after i watch the og version but it wasnt terrible. williams voice was 10/10

balloon boy was funny every single time. fuck this bitch. also the cupcake

THE ITS MEEEEEEEEEEE i wish they did more its mes BUT I SAW THAT!!!

the scene were mike calls abby to the kitchen so they could 'talk' and the aunt was there.... actually broke my heart how dare you

i missed phone guy 😭

OH IM PRETTY SURE I SAW THE FAKE DOG ANIMATRONIC PEOPLE THOUGHT EXISTED YEARS AGO???? I DONT REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT I THINK HE WAS THERE IN THE LIKE STORAGE PLACE i might be crazy tho dont quote me

i thought i wouldnt like it but i love how expressive freddy is its so funny. chica bonnie n foxy too but him especially

ok i those were all my immediate thoughts!!! i wrote this a few hours ago when id JUST gotten back from the theater and now im gonna go watch it again so bye <3

[armedinkblot]

i dont make fan theories often bc i tend to daydream off into things that cant possibly be real, but i think maybe this new mimic game preview, where they look like puppet, proves a theory i had a while ago

hear me out please

charlie is glamrock freddy

OKAY OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT THOUGH-

SO in security breach we know that something is odd with freddy. logically ive always kinda chalked it up to the fact he probably has the best antivirus bc hes the lead man so thats why he doesnt attack gregory after vanny's tampering bc personally ive never felt good about michael possessing him

(i get why people like that but michael was only kept alive bc of the scoopers remnant, so if you guys want him to be the mc in fnaf6 hes gotta be dead, pick one please i see good fuel for both)

so who is freddy??? well hold onto your socks bc i got something that you mightve already thought about idk BUT someone in the fnaf6 ending was never a remnant being and wasnt shown dying--

we get so many hints at puppet everywhere (the wiring, the dolls, yanno youve prolly seen them pointed out already), but there is no mention of charlie/puppet ANYWHERE by name to gregory

so heres my idea:

we know through sources that remnant is what happens when soul matter touches metal, and that if there is no reaction between a souls agony and some kinda steel, remnant aint happenin. remnany is functionally what made william/springtrap 'immortal' and michael survive ennard. we know thats what henry was aiming to melt down to undo the binding of the souls and the metal in fnaf6.

but puppet was never metal. every time we see puppet, it floats around or wiggles like a plushie. puppet is a fluffy soft toy that clearly does NOT have any bones.

wibbly wobbly

we also see it half-transparent in hallways, like- oh yanno- A GHOST???

i know fnaf has strayed further away from the haunted aspect and more into scifi, but what if puppet was our tie to classic haunts this whole time?

id like to point to this line that glamrock freddy says the first time you visit the fnaf6 sinkhole with him:

THE FIRST HALF OF THE MESSAGE: puppet/charlie definitely HAS been here before as we see in fnaf6, and we know that in between fnaf6 and help wanted old fazbear workers brought circuits torn out of scraptrap from the fnaf6 ruins to silver parasol games for scanning and utilizing, and thats more than likely where glitchtrap came from, but what does freddy mean by this?

im not sure exactly

you could argue that its cassidys vengeful spirit forcing charlie to continue clinging to earth in freddy ("she brought me here" if you consider cassidy to be a lil girl) which i personally would not put forcing their friend's spirit to haunt earth as long as part of afton is active past them, theyre a spiteful lil shit) but this isnt the meat of my theory so ill leave it

now the other half of the message, about glamrock freddys friends being angry and confused, really has the same vibe as these two puppet ucn lines to me

i think if theory this is true, this also could be good news for the moltenmci theory that i also subscribe to

ANYWAY these lines have similar energy to me, what with the whole "i am fine and calm but these guys? YEESH theyre cray" thing.

lemme tie it together real quick:

charlie dies and her ghost decides "hey i should stick around to stop william and maybe help those lost babies" so she possesses puppet!

the fact shes a complete spirit and not just the raw emotion from remnant means shes way way WAY more coherant and clever than the other animatronics

in fnaf6 shes put in lefty, which i think henry did to try and force charlies spirit to become remnant by interacting with the animatronic's metal, but it doesnt work bc charlies already a ghouly ghoul and aint havin that

so when the pizzeria simulator place burns down, sure the puppet and lefty were gone but was charlie's spirit? NO bc it wasnt remnant! fire doesnt touch ghosts silly casette man!!!

thats why, lemme draw your attention to the fact that CHARLIE IS NEVER SHOWN GETTING FREED:

SHES NEVER SHOWN IN THE ENDING BC ITS SYMBOLIC FOR HER STILL BEING AROUND

so what happened after that? well security breach takes place in and above the sinkhole that once was the fnaf6 location. spirits, in many folklores, do not tend to stray too far from their resting place most of the time

so if charlie, now a freed spirit with nowhere to go and nothing personal to possess (sorry about your puppet), finds out that afton is still possessing endoskeletons and having his brainwashed people kill people for funsies bestie? she aint having that

this was the kid that decided instead of just passing on to heaven or whatever, to STAY BEHIND AND HELP THE OTHER KIDS TAKE WILLIAM DOWN. she is described by henry as selfless and always helping others instead of herself

also need i remind you of charlies most famous act of trying to help (but accidently making things worse by prolonging the suffering instead of 'giving life'?)

this bitch would 100% possess the strongest thing she could to try and stop him, the strongest being glamrock freddy.

now after years of being manipulated into being freddy and acting as him/working with his programming, she might not have a clear understanding of who she once was. so, when glamrock freddy says "i found myself for the first time when i cleared the path" what if he means she remembered what she originally came here to do?

what if she left all the calling cards on purpose? what if she left the plushies around as a reminder of who she is so she doesnt forget why shes still tied to earth? so she remembers to stop afton instead of just let the programming take over?

bc if you remember, we're all fairly certain william only runs away to balloon boys voice in fnaf3 bc of the animatronic's programming it wouldnt be too out of place for charlie to struggle with it too, tho in a different way.

as for mimic...

the REAL reason i wanted to bring it up is bc this looks like puppet. this music box plays the puppet song my grandfathers clock, and then mimic pops out.

the most common question i see is why mimic is referencing puppet, and my theory explains that:

if charlie is in the pizzaplex, then mimic probably knows all about her. everything about her. tales from the pizzaplex has an ongoing plotline where mimic is literally stalking and studying the other characters obsessively, so whos to say his connection in the baobab tree didnt get him access to ""memory files"" or whatever its called when agony/remnant is imprinted on circuitry like with scraptrap and glitchtrap.

so yeah, heres my theory on what happened to charlie and whos REALLY possessing glamrock freddy!!!

i wrote this at 6AM after pulling an all nighter sorry if its hectic and poorly written; i actually wanna make a theory video bc i really think i have something substantial here, but idk how well recieved this would be hehe

i will also accept chica being possessed by charlie bc of twisted animatronic's videos on chicas crying and fighting the hacking

thanks for reading!!! pls be nice im scared lol

[chihirolovebot]

Could you talk more on the Kuzuryu x Physicist, it sounds really interesting (and I love any and all Physicist content)

absolutely . tw for brief brief mention of suicide / sacrificial death.

so i think they definitely would NOT get on at first . phys is not about his blase attitude , his threats , etc . they'd definitely have a healthy fear of him , too, considering he's yakuza and plenty scary even with the height and the baby face . i would not be surprised if they accidentally insulted him once and he did the whole 'grab em by the front of their clothes' and threatened their life , or something. likewise he probably thinks phys is stupid and gullible + doesn't see the point in putting faith in the others . HOWEVER .... i think he would be one of the only people to pinpoint how smart phys is , and would be pretty careful not to underestimate them .

after ch2 is when things change . of course. phys probably freaks the fuck out and disassociates when he Does The Thing with the Knife and i think theyd feel a little guilty they didnt see it coming or try to stop him or anything so they visit him in the hospital once or twice . also just to take some of the burden off tsumikis shoulders . IDK maybe they talk about pekoyama and ( assuming phys has the same backstory ) they swap stories about growing up + phys talks about the professor . it would be the first time they sorta connect . i could see kuzuryu remembering some passing comment phys made and bringing them a gift from the monomono machine . then getting super fucking embarrassed and blustery when they genuinely rly like it .

as the chapters go on they just start hanging out.! idk i just think theyre neat . no storms canonically happen in the game but i control reality so oops theres a storm and its not safe for phys to go back to their cabin so they gotta spent the night ! kuzuryu sleeps on the floor OBVIOUSLY . hes such a freak. if we're going love interest he definitely falls first + he does that Thing where he avoids phys for like three days after he realises he likes them and then he feels super guilty about it so he apologises very sincerely but he still doesnt confess so phys is just extremely confused .

phys despair disease victim maybe ... ? links back into that post i made before about their despair disease making them hyper paranoid of everyone . maybe theyre a near victim in the tsumiki case and kuzuryu realises holy shit they almost Just Fucking Died i cant let them out of my sight actually .

PHYS AT THE THEME PARK !!!! theyre fucking giddy about the rollercoaster its the most hyped anyone has ever seen them . so even tho kuzuryu's not a fan phys drags him on with them and kuzuryu sticks to their side throughout the funhouse . BUT . the lack of food starts getting to him and he snaps and they fight + phys is on their own for a bit and starts getting all sacrificial . they think about going into the final dead room , they think about offering themselves as a victim but they dont know who to turn to ... maybe they bring up the idea to nidai but he refuses bc he doesnt see them as a fair fight + word gets back around to kuzuryu . and he gets super angry and then super scared + he apologises for snapping at them and theyre besties again .

now if phys and komaeda r cautious friends i imagine ch5 would be tough for them . the loss of nanami would also hit super hard ... i imagine phys would like her quite a bit actually . i think most of ch5 would be them patching up their relationship after the stress and rocky terrain in ch4 but they go into ch6 pretty strong . this is also Probably when phys realises they like kuzuryu too btw if u even care. i dont have the energy to think abt ch6 but maybe they kiss . idk. maybe . im squeezing the life out of both of them btw

[starscelly]

a pleasure to ask more about the flying stars, i love hearing about it! 💚 i love the imagery of them with a long list of names they are debating for their band with only slightly mild hysteria of being up too late whether on some bighuge whiteboard or on a notes app like a baby names list before throwing their hands up, throwing a (hopefully metaphorical!) dart and introducing themselves as a different name every other night and taking audience feedback (getting a crowd of twenty something people to shout out if they prefer shooting stars or seeing stars) i think its so funny that they only realize that roope and robo go absolutely wild after they start performing 😭 five injured, microphone dead, still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them, divine inspiration struck for their band name at a show under an overpass and they still gotta pack their gear back up! i know you mention players as staff or assistance or a friend but are there other players involved in the scene? could be performing, could be a fan!

DEEPLY SORRY I LEFT THIS IN MY INBOX FOR SOO LONG.... forgive me. i love discussing the boys i just take forever to ruminate on my thoughts for them <3 i hope the long ass answer makes up for it omg

and oh yes at one point when theyre still figuring out the name they for Sure just start running a bit before shows "WE'RE THE [mumble unintelligible grumbling] STARS!" "hope you're excited to see the [WET COUGH] stars!" "... and with our dearest otter on the drums, WE are YOUR [loud clanging and banging from drumset] STARS!"

also hello "still waiting for the crowd to pass robo back to them" is so funny and so true. he's lost a shoe and ty is trying to drag him back to the stage but somebody has like a death grip on him and onstage otter and roope are frantically looking for something to write the name down with before they forget (miro wrote it in his notes app like the second one of them said it but he's staying quiet about it)

AND YES SO. delly harls are strictly Helping Out. delly by virtue of being otter's best friend/roommate BUT harls was like Into the punk scene!!! and really liked their sound (definitely NOTHING to do with any looks........) and befriended del who introduced him to the band etc etc so he was a fan turned roadie!

and wyatt DOES help run their merch table but he is ALSO a guitarist and singer . his stuff leans a little more like. indie rock than Heavier Punk like the flying stars play but he's a Friend of the Band (dating delly and always at his and otter's apartment because he's renting a room in Normal Dude joe pavelski's family home and is NOT bringing his boyfriend back there) and to seem more Professional they just have him perform as an opener ! because he is very good! though he honestly just ends up playing acoustic covers of popular punk/emo songs half the time the crowds are very endeared by his boyish swag.

i have ALSOOO played with the idea of him eventually Gaining Bandmates. which would probably end up being stank mav and nils! but i just havent fully decided their like. Instruments. i think one of them on keyboard would be kinda fun but grain of salt lol. i also want lian in here somewhere but i need him to get nhl time/more ahl time before i can flesh out those vibes.

AND I DONT THINK I EVER TALKED ABOUT THIS IM JUST REALIZING???? BUT MENTOR BAND!!!! disbanded mentor band but well. they all were fans of [insert tbd band name here actually maybe this is why i never talked about it] who were like. kinda on the cusp of fame? like were probably one album away from Making It before everything kinda crashed down. and it consisted of segs (vocals), klinger (guitar), esa (bass), bish (drums). their breakup was kinda messy and somewhat rooted in like. the very anti sellout culture of punk. to summarize it with like Minimal Detail (bc i would love to make a whole Thing abt it lowkey):

klinger out of nowhere is like. i have to go. there's better opportunities for me in california i know it (which was a Fucking Lie there was Drama with their manager but he didnt know how to or really want to articulate it and just wanted to get far away and his best offer was coming from california) which obviously everyone in the band IMMEDIATELY jumped on him like. what the fuck youre such a sellout we started this band as friends and youre leaving us for better opportunities?? in fucking california?? they were also all already like. on edge and stressed from the level of fame they were starting to get. so it was messy. and then him and esa had a messy breakup ofc. they're all cordial now but it lead to the immediate disbanding of the. band. because esa and tyler wanted to bring in other guitarists but bish refused to play with randos he wanted to play with his FRIENDS and it just. never worked out. so now esa tyler bish (and sometimes klinger when hes in town but . he tries to avoid being in town) spend their days working relatively normal ass jobs and going to flying stars shows and being like Don’t Be Us Don’t Go Sell Out Don’t Run From Feelings. and you know their asses are Listening to that Advice.

^ somehow that was the abbreviated version just trust me

[charlie-artlie]

just got back from the fnaf movie, i really need to go to bed but i have to get some thoughts out NOW 🫠

positives

movey good C:

matthew lillard was just so so good god bless

the animatronics were amazing, i really wasn’t expecting the scene where they all played and had fun together????? it was such wish fulfillment i was just sitting there like is this real

(on that note HEY. someone had better gif that fronnie scene were theyre just playing and dancing together. 👉 get on it giffers)

maybe controversial but i liked the matpat and coryxkenshin cameos a lot they were funny and didnt detract from the flow too much

the jumpscares were not terribly hacky like i thought theyd be, and the balloon boy one was really good 👏

also IM NOT CRAZY THAT WAS A CIRCUS BABY REFERENCE RIGHT??? AAAAAAAAAA

all of the parts and service room was so cool tbh, all of the creepy old endos and parts, the little fetch easter egg, all of it so so good

the easter eggs in general were really fun, im looking forward to watching this movie be micro analyzed for years to come

the springlock scene 🤌 cinema…..

that scene were william roundhouse kicks mike is just like. so amazing. this is going on the positives. i cant believe they did that. what an amazing movie.

in general the lighting and sound design were very nice (i mean as a layperson i thought they were nice idk XD)

THE SONG WAS IN IT THEY DID THE FUCKING THING 😭👏

negatives

no puppet?

i feel like this story suffers from the same issue TSE has, where by straying from the games canon you’ve actually made things so much more complicated? while some things definitely made sense (vanessa being williams daughter was a nice touch and made sense for both characters fight me, also a great nod to how shes mind controlled in game canon) others feel like they just made things more complicated? like, why was garrett just a random kid in a random campsite? why was william there, why did he kill him, why do the ghost kids know him? i guess you could say, if there is a reason, it will be revealed in a later movie? but thats so many unnecessary steps when all you had to do was have garret go missing from a freddys location (like in TSE). like, mikes brothers disappearance is linked to freddys, thats why he needs to work there, you could save a lot of time aunt jane ate up. speaking of.

its such a hilarious plot hole that they just totally move past aunt janes death. like this guy is fighting tooth and nail for custody of his sister against his aunt and she shows up dead at his house and nobody is suspicious or cares. also he shows up at the hospital with a stabbed cop who’s apparently in a coma and cant verify his story at all?? the plot armor on this man!!

i realize they needed to put abby in danger at some point or else why would she even be here, but having the ghost kids want to ghostify her doesnt make a whole lotta sense >_> like they kept saying william was confusing them but they never really showed that, golden freddys spirit kid seemed pretty aware of the situation the entire time.

that one jumpscare with the kid with black goopy eyes was pretty silly lmao. feel like they could have captured the creepypasta vibe better

this is semi positive and negative, but i really really liked vanessa’s creepiness i just wish theyd leaned into it a bit more? that scene where shes staring lovingly up at the animatronics and then asks mike to dance is just so 👌 like girl what is wrong with you fr 🥰 but then her behaviors dont make much sense after that, i was a bit confused as to when she was supposed to be trying to get mike to stay and when she was supposed to be warning him away.

the writing in general was definitely a bit weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eh

sorry if my negatives seem like bummers, but i really enjoy picking apart movies i like, and i tend to like things more when there is stuff to pick apart! (sensory fandom experience…..) in general i really enjoyed the movie and i think most fnaf fans will! it’s fun cheesy horror that has a lot of love for the source material without trying to BE it, which wouldn’t be possible anyway

man theres definitely other things i could say but i really have to go to sleep now 😭 gn!!!

[voiidegg]

i have so much to say about spirit of justice. spoilers and a video under the cut ofc, i'm not holding back :D

i went through all the stages of grief with this game. this game fucking ruined me.

it took me ages to properly get into this game, practically everything about it pissed me off. but the final case happened and that's when i finally got invested. i know SOJ is a fan favourite, but for me personally the only actual good case is the final case. might be controversial?

all i wanted was for apollo to bond with dhurke finally. thats all i fucking wanted. WHY DOES THIS FRANCHISE HATE HEALTHY HAPPY FAMILIES? WHY DOES EVERY PARENT DIE? I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE MAN. i thought they had a chance after it was revealed amara was alive, but NOOOOO DHURKE HAD TO BE DEAD THE WHOLE TIME. then i saw the photo of his body and i just SOBBED , which is also in the vid above ofc, bc this CASE BROKE ME

rayfa being dhurke and amara's kid was tooooo satisfying to me. i picked up early on that the queen took the power from amara. i also suspected early on that the queen couldnt channel shit. we never saw her do anything, and she wanted that orb way too much. rayfa having her character arc was so great. she became very likeable :D

jove getting his seance made me so happy too. baby apollo :') and im happy apollo stayed in khurain, like dhurke wanted.

anyway i hope you all enjoy the compilation of my playthrough featuring @raccoonzilla . im glad i finally finished this franchise. toooo much angst :')

final thoughts: justice for apollo and trucy. they need to know theyre half siblings </3 also im so mad we never found the founder's true name. i was hellbent on a theory that the founder was ami fey lol. oh well

[not-actually-human]

maybe A, X, and Z? :]

hey lex :D

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

ok so ive been having a lot of tlt thoughts recently so gideon and harrow have to be up there… theyre just so awful and codependent i love it. ohhh and fcg and f.r.i.d.a from the critical role. theyre just so sweet and speak to my own weird aroace flavor of love and romance :]

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

oooh thats hard hmmm

normal oak. i need to give him a hug right this instant,, kid has been going through it

jeannemarie and isaac from the locked tomb. like i guess i cant protect them anymore cause (spoiler alert for giden the ninth) they are dead, but if i could i would. they feel so similar to a lot of my friends who were freshman last year and i love them a lot

riz gukgak. the guy doesnt need defending, he owns multiple guns and is good with using them, but its the thought that counts

nimona from the hit graphic novel nimona. again, i doubt she needs my protection. also again, i need to hug her right now

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

ack um. ok i convinced my best friend to watch good omens and i think xe will finish it before the second season comes out so im pretty excited about that :) oohhh also i dont really talk about worlds beyond number on here but i am living for where the current campaign is going. i love suvi being so. i cant even think of the right word but i adore her

thank you so much for the askk!

[thegeminisage]

Hmm. 20-22 inclusive …. making you be negative 😈 I’m assuming you’ll do zelda but as a scholar I’m also interested in your spn thoughts so you pick mwah

oooh dealer's choice this is so tough...what if i just answer for both LMAO im so sorry ok Lets Go

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

for zelda: i really, really wish i liked wind waker. i wanna like wind waker so fucking bad. i love wind waker's story. i love wind waker's ganondorf. i love how bright and cheerful the graphics are contrasted with how solemn it is underground. i love the dungeons and the gameplay. but god i HATE the cartoony little balloon heads. it takes me right out of those serious moments. i don't mind stylization but if it could have been just a LITTLE BIT. less stylized. just a LITTLE LESS like animal crossing characters. it's beautiful to look at but for a game with such serious hidden elements WHICH I LOVE i find trouble taking it seriously.

for spn: god, all of crowley's little arcs. he was almost never interesting, and while you can excuse bad writing for cas because it's cas, you can't make crowley happen. fetch is never gonna happen! you can show me his fun hot mom and his dead son and it still isn't happening! he's just the walking talking embodiment of the "angels and demons are just like OFFICE WORKERS" trope which i hate so fucking deeply because it's the least sexy direction they ever took and the exact opposite of what i want from my angels and demons. all of the middle seasons suffered deeply from this. crowley COULD have been interesting, but tbh, i liked him best in the season they killed him off.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

for zelda: i could do wind waker again but actually i completely understand the hype, bc wind waker is a great game even if i can't deal with it like a normal person. same with botw - i found most of the joy thru exploration, so it just didnt Hit on replays the way other zeldas do, but its influence cannot be understated and the hype is deserved. what if everybody is right all the time to hype any and everything about zelda?? oh wait actually. sorry. twilight princess ilia. idk if people hype her but if they do theyre wrong. love and light to her, she's Fine, but it feels kind of like a knockoff of malon (superior) and i generally dislike when link has romantic interests besides zelda, even if the love interest gets amnesia (wistful sigh). this sin was especially egregious bc zelda barely has any screentime at all, but i forgive tp for this because what screentime she DOES have is spent being in lesbians with midna. so it works out just this once due to the power of gay people, but that's some thin fucking ice. anyway, sorry to ilia and ilia fans for being a misogynist

for spn: i hate canon claire. i can't get into it in depth but like...sorry, even without the issue of My Own Claire Ideas, i still don't know if i could do it. being gay does not save her from having the exact same "damaged but spunky teen girl" personality given to almost EVERY OTHER TEENAGE GIRL (or young woman) on the show. to some extent she, krissy, mary from the winchesters, charlie, jo, alex, etc etc all have the same personality with a few defining quirks tacked on as an afterthought. do i love some of these characters? yes, of course. are they well-written? absolutely not <3

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

for zelda: in general, i think skyward sword gets a bad rap despite lanayru desert's entire (waves hand vaguely) and zelda being a fucked up evil goddess who canonically manipulates link's love for her. AND GROOSE. never forget groose. more specifically i think not enough people have acknowledged 1. the champions corpses are definitely still in those cockpits 2. oot link essentially became a stalfos by walking into the lost woods without navi and never came back. hello?? generally those dark little implications that u have read between the lines to get <3

for spn: oh baby its michael!dean. i waited so long and i only really got what i wanted for one episode but it was so good. it was SO good. no one else is as hype about the fact that it took nine REAL LIFE YEARS to get there. a DECADE of my finite time on earth. but ohhh was it ever worth the wait. what else could i possibly write 100k+ about

[ASK MEME]

[ancientcitylullaby]

I said I wasn’t gonna do this but here I am anyway here’s my live reactions to Vikings Valhalla Season 2 obviously spoilers ahead

Olaf what the FUCK that’s your baby brother

MAGNUS BABYYYYYYY WE GET TO SEE BABY MAGGIE

I love Freydis so much

Leif and Harald striking off together 😩

Hm Godwin blinding someone already. won’t be the last time

I’m about to simp for Yaroslav

LEIF SAVES HARALDS DUMBASS LIFE GOD HE CARES ABOUT HIM

THEYRE GOING TO CONSTANTINOPLE AYYY

If Olaf and Aelfgifu fuck I’m gonna throw my laptop out the window

Olaf stop being WEIRD you did not just compare yourself to a dog and try to make it sexy

Where the fuck are Alfie and Eddie

Is Harthacnut born yet

Godwin crusty as usual I hate him

Is Harald smoking literal crack why is he constantly like this

Well. Apparently Leif is the one smoking shit

Oh god his ass is gonna fall off the roof

Hi my names Leif I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Hmm. Not a fan of slave boat guy

Are they fucking racist in uppsala 2.0

Are they doing the Viking heritage thing please stop 💀

Why is everyone here being awful all of a sudden

Who is this blind dude

Godwin suck a fat dick for me why don’t you

Fucking burn his ass Freydis

Did Aelfwynn have a thing with that guy??????? Why she upset?

Nvm that’s her brother oof

Is Gytha Godwin’s future wife

Leif’s two brain cells smoking rn

All aboard the bitchboat

Harald if you don’t shut the fuck up

Is there someone stowed away? Oh. The slaves. Hm :/

“I’m reinventing myself”

“Yes, I see. As what.?”

Yaroslav is Harald’s new dad

“WHAT COULD GO WRONG” YAROSLAV IS SO PERFECT

Emma that is such a lesbian moment

I throw up in my mouth everytime godwin sucks that girls face

I refuse to believe no animals messed with those bones out in the god damn woods

Emma went from hot to scary in .2seconds

Aelfwynn girl you’re too good for that fuckass

EMMA THE STONE COLD BITCH FUCK YES

I love Kurya I wanna kiss him

I love everyone on this ship except that fuckwad slaver

EW OLAF FUCKED

that took like .2 days

VITOMIR

I’m glad the fucking slaver died

I wanna fuck Kurya even more

If anything happens to baby Harald I’m killing everyone and then myself

Leif needs to stop chasing girls who are gonna die

Olaf who are you so insane

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE PECHENEG TITTY BARBS

IF KURYA DIES IM RIOTING

KURYAAA

brb gonna fucking cry he was so cute

Is this the fucking pope come to visit

Olaf stop being so manipulative omfg

MARIAM

TAKE CARE OF HIM FOR ME FUCKJKKK

EUGH GODWINS WEDDING

I want a medieval wedding

“I have great expectations of your children” fuck me in the shit balls fuck….

SHE GAVE HIM HER LITTLE HOUSE NOOOO

Emma gave her the fucking dead dude ring didn’t she

IS GODWIN GOING TO GET FUCKING TOPPED LMAAAAAOOOOOO

I really wanna see Godwin get pegged

Like I hate him but maybe it would fucking loosen him up a bit

Harald if you would stop being a whore for two seconds

Yoooooo Freydis “and are all these men baptized?” I got fucking chills

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE SKEWERED HIM

Svein is such a literal infant

The crucifix imagery is *chefs kiss* god and he does become a martyr fuckkk

ROMYS HERE THE BYZANTINES ARE HERE

Short king

Not the Justinian fit

WHAT?!!! HIS EMPRESS?!!!

ROMANOS ISN’T EVEN THE EMPEROR BY BLOOD

WHERE THE FUCK IS ZOE

WHERE IS SHE WHERE IS MY BYZANTINE MELODRAMA WHERE IS MY QUEEN

WILL WE FUCKING GET JOHN

LEIF HARALD SHOULDER TOUCH ON THE WAY TO COCKSTANTINOPLE

I CANT WAIT TO SEE BYZANTIUM

I need season 3 yesterday 8 episode seasons is nowhere near enough bruh 😭