#THEYRE JUST SO HOPEFUL ABOUT SOMETHING AGAINST THE RULES :(

[year2000electronics]

i see a lot of people on artfight very excitedly encouraging people to draw their ocs with canon characters, platonic or romantic, and it makes me so sad. because listen. i’m holding your hands when i say this.

[rinanar]

hello~~, its my first time coming here and i read your rules alr♡ can i ask for smut goo x reader? where theyre having a make-up sex lol. and if i may go into details, they loved each other so much but the problem is just too big so that the intercourse gets both steamy and emotional haha. thank u in advance!!💖💖

IM SORRY ! K.JUNGOO

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

character/s : jungoo kim

type : oneshot — smut (pwlp) , fluff — f!reader

warning/s — details : size kink (I GAVE GOO SIZE KINK I HOPE THATS ALRIGHT 😓😓) , established relationship , SLIGHT dacryphilia (I hope this is alright too....frfr), creampie , argument , etc , ALL CONSENSUAL !!!

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

It was unusual for you two to fight. Usually it'd just be a fake argument, something that wouldn't last long, something that isn't that serious, a banter. But he just won't listen to you this time.

You had already said—no, begged him to stop getting himself hurt, but he just won't listen.

You do love him very much, isn't that why you keep scolding him? What part of it doesn't he get?

He gets you worried sick, doesn't that upset him?

You've been trying to talk to him for weeks, but he just can't sit down and listen to your nagging.

From the moment he told you that, the way your lips quivered just broke him. He internally killed himself, or maybe he's just being dramatic again.

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

He'd make it up to you, he said. He is, and it's working, too.

He had already made you cum on his fingers, on his tongue, but he knew it wasn't enough. You knew it too, but you got too impatient.

"P—pleasee..please..hng...put-put it inn..goo..why can't you..? Don't you wanna make it up to me..?" You sniffled, hugging him by his neck, your legs wide open.

"Fuck-..fuck..don't say that.." he groaned, his cock twitching from your voice, your whiny weak voice.

"..You sure..?" He mumbled, squinting his eyes, he was clearly uncertain, he knew how big he was, and that thought turned him on even more.

You nodded weakly, which earned a pinch from him, causing you to yelp, "Thought I told you to use your words, huh?" He hummed in a sing-song voice, earning a frown from you, which made him smile.

"'m sorryy..I will—I will..I can take it, I swear.." You promised, you really thought you could.

He grabbed his cock, stroking it a little before lining it up against your entrance, rubbing his tip against your slick folds, making you let out a breathy whimper.

"Just tell me if you can't take it, alright..?" He sighed, then when you gave the go signal, he slowly pushed himself in, earning a cry from you.

You bit down on his shoulder, squirming a little. It stung, fuck, how long has it even been?

He looked at you for a moment, letting out ragged breaths, feeling how tightly you were clamping down on him.

"C-can't.. can't—n..noo..t'big—" You whined, tears pricking the corner of your eyes.

He let out a shaky sigh, pausing for a moment, "Y...it's just that you're small..fuck-ing hell..you're so small.." he groaned, getting more and more turned on from the size difference, his cock twitching slightly inside you.

"You took me before, baby..you can take me again, hm..?" He panted, his hand reaching up to play with your breasts, pinching and twisting the perky nipple.

You nodded at his words, shutting your eyes close, letting tears fall. "Mh..m..fuckk..you're so cute.." he whimpered, before slowly pushing in once again.

"W..whenever..whenever I act reckless again..I..I want you to-..fuck..slap me back to reality..okay..? God- fuck.." he whimpered, his voice starting to get shaky, as you babbled with slurred words, about how it's too big, how you can't take it, but, shit, you take it so well, he thought.

"I love you—s..so much..look at how you're..t-taking me so well.." he groaned, before finally burying himself to the hilt.

"I love you a lot..fuck..I'm so sorry.." he whined against your neck, he spoke so sweetly to you, and that just made you sob even harder.

"I just..I'm so sorry..I love you, I'm sorry for yelling at you.. please.." he sniffled, waiting for you to let him move. He kissed and marked your neck, while his hand caressed your breasts, down to the back of your thighs, helping you relax around him.

Once you gave him the sign it was okay to move, he almost let out another groan at that. The sight of you crying has him weak on his knees, and the fact that there was a small bulge forming on your stomach even broke him further.

He moved slowly at first, letting your cries be swallowed by the sound of your wet, squelching noise.

"You're so small..fuck..did you know that..hm..? Baby..?" He whimpered, his hand rubbing small circles on your nub.

"S'b..bi-bigg..aahnn.." You whined, throwing your head back slightly. You could feel the ridges of his cock sliding against your walls, and it drove you crazy, like always.

It could never get old, how he whined and whimpered, how his cock slid against your walls so lewdly, and how he loves you so much.

He sniffled apologies, he whimpered them, he whined them, he keeps apologizing.

From that alone, you already forgave him.

He started to move faster, his groans turning into moans mingling with yours, the slick sound getting louder and louder, and the breathing getting heavier and ragged.

It made you dizzy, and somehow he just manages to push you even more by pressing on the bulge forming, causing you to let out a strangled whine.

He kept doing that, feeling you clench around him, feeling you tighten around him even more, implying that you were getting closer so fast.

"Mn-G-g..goo—m..'m close-'m close—..hngg..please-please don't stop..please..'m so sorryy.." You whined and begged, your tongue lolling out as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"'M not stopping..fuck..fuck..come for me—come..fuck..cum around my cock.." He groaned, lifting your hips, hitting your spot, earning a strangled cry from you.

You cried out his name as your body convulsed, sobbing from the feeling of orgasming around his cock.

But he kept going, wanting to reach his high, too. He was desperate for it at this point, feeling you squirm and convulse around him was one thing, but looking at your pretty face after you came? God, he was done.

"'m cummingg.. m-'m..c-cumming.." He whimpered, searching for your eyes, silently begging you to let him come inside you. And you did.

You wrapped your legs around him, letting him come inside you. He started to slow down, using you to milk himself, spilling his seed into you.

There was a moment of silence, aside from the heavy breathing, but he spoke first— "I love you. I'm sorry."

It was the first time he actually apologized. But it's the first serious argument, so you'll let him off this time. Until, he continued,

"I'm not done making it up to you yet."

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

a/n : sorry (hi for bad english)

[cloudcountry]

I've been wanting to talk to you for ages and I saw you opened Fellow Honest requests-- so...🥺👉🏻👈🏻

No but seriously, if it would be alright with you, I'd like to request a small story with a really cautious reader whose despite their best judgement can't help but catch feelings for Honest<3

Once again, only if it would be ok with you, ofc!! I tried making sure this doesn't go against any of your request rules so I hope you can do this whenever you have the time/want to☺️

Really love your writing! Pls take your time<33

- 🍄

SUMMARY: fellow isn't accepting your evasiveness as an answer.

WARNINGS: none!!

COMMENTS: please feel free to stop by again anon!! i dont want people to feel like theyre not allowed to talk to me. i know im scary but im begging you, if you ever want to talk to me just shoot me an ask on anon!! thank you for being so sweet <3

Fellow must think it’s funny to make you squirm in your seat.

He circles you again, a knowing gaze pinning you to the chair as you stare at your hands and gnaw at your lip. It’s been so long now, too long now, of him interrogating you. You can’t tell him what he wants to know because it will destroy you, and yet he keeps pressing and pressing and pressing and oh dear, he really isn’t going to give this up without a fight.

“I just want to know why you’ve been so skittish lately.” he croons, voice soft as it brushes against the shell of your ear, “That’s all you have to tell me, dollface. That’s all I want to know.”

“I don’t want to tell you. I’ve told you this already.” you murmur, voice soft as your heart pitter-patters in your chest.

Why oh why did the love of your life have to come in such an evil, relentless, teasing form! It was almost as though the world was kicking you out of your comfort zone with a steel-toed boot.

You weren’t ready for what he had to offer. You weren’t ready for the adventure and danger being his lover would surely bring.

You weren’t ready to admit that all of those things were petty excuses.

“I guess I’ll have to try again tomorrow.” he sighs, as theatrical as usual.

You stare up at him with worry in your gaze as he turns his back on you. You know full well he’s got something up his sleeve, or else he won’t be so smug about your silence.

His trick comes in the form of his face inches from yours as he whips around again, grabbing the back of the chair and leaning down so his face is right in front of yours.

He stares, and your mouth is gaping like a fish out of water, and your cheeks are burning up and your breath is shaky and—

And he pulls away.

He pulls away with a smirk and a soft “gotcha” before he turns around and leaves you.

[modelbus]

HII!! I REALLY LIKE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH!! I just read your wilbur soot fic "Radar Detector" and I really LOVED it. I was hoping you could do another wilbur soot songfic cause theyre so good😭 (preferably lover by taylor swift or just any taylor swift song that you'd like.

THATS ALL!! MWA I LOVE UR WRITING!!🫶

I'm so excited to do another song fic you have no idea. Also, a confession: I'm a closet Swiftie...

Pairing: CC!Wilbur x Gn!Reader

Lover

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January And this is our place, we make the rules

The tree in the living room was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes. In your tiredness, all the colorful lights were out of focus and created a mesh of blob colors. It was pretty, in the way that abstract art flows together.

"We really should take that down." Wilbur says from behind you, and you realize that the general warmth around you is him. The arm over your waist, holding you to him and the couch? Him.

"We can leave it up." You answer, yawning. "I like it."

"It's not Christmastime anymore, love." He smiles into your shoulder, making you smile too.

Something about him generates happiness. In your hazy vision, spotted with colorful christmas lights, you can't imagine anything better.

"So? This is our flat."

He laughs. "Point taken."

We could let our friends crash in the living room This is our place, we make the call.

"You're fine, right?" You ask Tommy, giving him a pointed look.

For once in his life, the boy knows how to be subtle and nods. "Yeah, yeah, I'm great."

"We have more blankets if you want them!" Wilbur announces, strolling in with his arms full of blankets. He dumps them all on top of Tommy, eyebrows creased with worry. "You sure you don't mind staying on the couch?"

He nods, rolling his eyes. "I used to sleep on your floor, Wil."

"That was different! And I gave you an air mattress that time!"

"Which is practically the floor. I'm a big man, I can take the fucking couch."

Wilbur turns to you, as if you'll take his side. You may be dating him, but that doesn't mean you're agreeing with him.

"He'll be fine, Wilbur." You assure him.

Tommy was only staying for the night, anyway. One of his vlogs ran late, leaving him here way after dark. And Wilbur wouldn't stand for letting him head home at this time of night. Honestly, you found their brother thing endearing. And it made Wilbur happy, which made you happy.

Besides, Tommy was a good kid. A nightmare at times, but good in heart. Mostly.

Wilbur gives a regretful look at your couch (which is actually pretty nice) before sighing. "Fine, fine. We'll be just down the hall if something happens, so just... wake us. Yeah?"

"Wilbur!" Tommy groans. "Fuck off! I can sleep on your couch!"

"I know! I'm just making sure!"

"Go fucking cuddle or something." Tommy huffs, settling under all the blankets and turning his back to Wilbur.

You laugh softly, flicking off the lights. "C'mon love. Good night, Tommy."

"Night." Wilbur echoes your words, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you so you don't run into a wall on your way to the bedroom. "He'll be fine, right?"

"Of course he will." You say, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. "Now it's our turn to get some rest. Go do your night routine, or whatever."

"Will do." Wilbur agrees, quietly heading off toward the bathroom.

With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

You ran your thumb over the inside of his palm, prompting Wilbur to squeeze your fingers in return. The callouses on his fingers are rough against your skin, but you don't mind. They're testaments to his love for music, to his commitment to it.

You love them simply because they're a part of him.

"I promised to teach you guitar one day." Wilbur reminds you, voice soft.

"And I still want to learn." You assure him, a smile gracing your face. "Maybe one day I'll get callouses like yours." You add in as a tease.

"No guitar string scars though." He raises your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your fingertips. It makes you laugh. "I'll teach you how to play guitar safely."

"What, and you don't play safely?"

He nudges you, because you know the answer to that. You've seen too many broken picks and snapped guitar strings. There's a faint scar on his palm where a snapped string cut him, even.

"You'll be so bad at guitar." Wilbur says with a grin. "I can't wait to love you for it."

"Hey!"

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover.

"I'm dying." Wilbur announces, draping himself over the back of your chair dramatically. "I've been shot. I'm dying."

You can't help but roll your eyes, laughing. "Wil, it was a Nerf dart."

"Tell my friends and family I love them." He wails, squeezing onto your hand. "I'll miss you."

"You aren't dying."

"Oh goodbye world! I yearn to feel the sun upon my face, but alas, I die in the cold night!"

"Oh Wilbur!" Tommy crows, darting around a corner with a raised Nerf gun.

Wilbur shouts, hands going for his own Nerf gun, finding nothing. In response, Tommy's smile widens into something evil as he holds up a second Nerf gun.

"Who's the bitch boy?" He asks, eyes wide with delight.

You burst into loud laughter as Wilbur runs from the room, sliding on the wooden floors in his socks.

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover.

Hand on the back of the chair, Wilbur pulls it away from the cloth-covered table for you. You can’t help your grateful smile, sinking into it without a second thought. The wedding you two were at was busy, and you had been on your feet for literal hours. He was a godsend at this moment, and judging by his grin he knew it.

“Water?” You ask, holding up a bottle of water for him. You had originally left his side to grab some, knowing he was thirsty but wouldn’t ask for a water.

“Thank you.” Wilbur says, taking it from you. He presses a kiss to your head before pushing in your chair and sitting down at the one next to you, which has his suit jacket thrown over the back. “Almost payment enough for saving your chair?”

“Almost?” The laugh you let out isn’t dignified in the slightest, but his eyes sparkle like it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

“I had to fight a guy off with my fists to keep it.”

“Bullshit.”

“You’ll never know if it is or isn’t.” He teases, taking a sip of the water. “But I deserve better payment.”

With a roll of your eyes, you lean forward to give him a quick peck on the lips. He cups your cheek, catching your face before you can pull away, just to prolong the kiss for a moment more before he lets go.

“Happy?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.

“The happiest.”

[crushedgraham]

Would u do an Ashe x Widowmaker x fem! Reader (poly relationship) headcanons please? Reader is quite introverted 🤍

Also some smut headcanons too if that’s okay :)

Widowmaker x introverted fem Reader x Ashe

im still trying to figure out how to portray them :,) but i hope you like it!

prepare to be SPOILED.

theyre both loaded and will not hesitate to buy anything for you

oh you want something but youre too shy to ask? amélie can tell as soon as she looks at you, her eyes keenly observing you

typically amélie's the one accompanying you while shopping bc ashe is busy running the deadlock gang but she tries her best to join every now and then

she makes up for it by bringing you little trinkets from her heists that reminds her of you

it can vary from expensive jewelry to little figurines she thought you'd like

she'll clasp a gold necklace around your neck and kiss your cheek, murmuring a small "such a pretty girl"

they're trying to one up each other, every chance they get

who's the better shooter?

who's the better cook (ashe can only grill hotdogs and burgers and amélie can only make charcuterie boards but they try their best)?

who's the better kisser?

who can make you cum the fastest

they just want your praise and affection 🙁

speaking of which...they're N E E D Y.

you literally have to sleep in the middle so they each have easy access to you

when ashe gets jealous of amelie, her confident and "dominating" mask crumbles, leaving her needy and whiny

she'll kiss and nuzzle at your neck with her arms wrapped tightly around your waist "Darlin'...Pay attention to me"

when amélie gets jealous of ashe she gets petty and almost cat-like. she'll huff and pout while glaring at you and the cowgirl until you get the hint that she needs some loving too

i feel like ashe would love to show off her partners at events she holds for the deadlock gang

you dont like socializing too much? thats fine with her, she'll steal you away to a private nook in her expensive party room

ashe will sit you on her lap while she sips some whiskey and eyes you up and down

if you're feeling bold and decide to slip her hat off of her head and onto your own?

she'll go feral.

Cowboy hat rule is all im saying.

amélie will accompany the two of you sometimes to join in on the fun but opts out most of the times bc she thinks the rowdiness of the party's distasteful

you sitting on ashe's lap with your back pressed against her chest, her knees spreading your legs open for amélie who's kneeling with her head under your dress is a position you frequent a lot

ashe tops the most (she's so smug about it) but when amélie takes over? she crumbles.

sounds like a whiny mess as you watch and touch yourself to the scene of her getting her back absolutely blown out by amélie

i feel like one of their favorite positions would be amélie sitting on your face while ashe fucks you with her favorite strap

ANYWAYS

lets get back to some domestic hc's

ashe can definitely play the acoustic guitar and will softly play it while singing old country songs whenever it's a sleepless night or when someone gets a nightmare

she even learned the chords for some french lullabies for amélie to sing to

when you go out to eat and they get your order wrong but you're too shy to say anything, BABE THEY GOTCHU.

"she asked for no pickles 😠"

or if you just don't want to order in general? they'll happily do it!

if your social battery's running out or you're just feeling a little on edge/anxious at events they'll escort you outside for a break

the silence is comfortable and the comforting smell of their shared cigarette grounds you

after a long day yall will just turn on a movie of your choice and you'll lay in between them

ashe will most likely spoon you and amélie will lay on her side, facing you while tracing little patterns on your ribs or holding your hand

[lilyacorn]

Yandere knight x gn! Royal reader!

An- i got a famous little trope in it ehhehe

Ty for nearly 300 followers and! If this post gets more than 40 likes in one day, i’ll DO yandere butler or archer tom!

Yandere knight- who was a normal knight patrolling the night of the kingdom. Excited and ready to contribute and never! Do anything against the rules! Hehehehe

Yandere knight- who was minding his own business until a certain someone bumped into him… “Ah! who-“ as he looked at you…

Yandere knight- who looks around, wondering why the royal princess/prince is in a cloak running away from a bunch of guards. “wha-“ with a confused expression a little bit of blush heheh

Yandere knight- who takes another look at your face before hiding you behind his back from his subordinates asking where you were! “Theyre over there!” While pointing at the mf wall- i’m sorry! Theyre just soo- ahhh~ while whining and apologizing to his peers for lying internally.

Yandere knight- who was about to finally bring you back to the palace until you looked at him with those pleading “But! You must go back!” With a determined but indecisive look. (stop looking at him with that look! JUST UGHHHH!)

Yandere knight- who pouts when you look at him like that! The demon and the angel on his shoulders are arguing so hard! “I- uhm…” while whining softly like a puppy. But… they’re running away! I should bring them! but the look on their face, Its so- UGHH

Yandere knight- who questions why you were running away and frustrated brows when you mention the arranged marriage you never wanted! “I- thats so mean!” With a frustrated look. How could anyone treat you like that?! I’d treat them so much better- fuck! the hell are you talking about?! while denying his feelings internally.

Yandere knight- who offers to bring you to his home after seeing your pitiful expression! “Do you wanna stay with me for the night? I-i mean its unsafe for a royal to be alone right now!” With a nervous smile. His cheeks are burning up~

Yandere knight- who is worried what would happen if you accepted a random person’s invite but they were a bad person! Good thing, you’ll be with him. Forever

Yandere knight- who gets embarrassed when you enter his home! Its not as lavish as the palace but hopefully its good enough for your tastes! “Anhaha sorry that its not soo great uhm…” an awkward and embarrassed expression. He’ll earn more for a proper house you can have with him

Yandere knight- who flusters and IMMEDIATELY offers for him to sleep on the floor instead of the bed! “I- i’ll sleep on the floor you sleep on the bed!”

Yandere knight- who flusters when you didn’t mind sleeping on the bed with him “oh but-“ he rambles excuses on why he can’t! Its improper for a gentleman!

Yandere knight- who’s eyes widen and turns quiet when you chuckle at his rambling. “I…” in awe as he looks at the moonlight reflecting on your figure as you chuckled.

Yandere knight- who balls up his fist and goes quiet while looking away and nodding with blush on his cheeks and ears…

Yandere knight- who gets on the bed with you and can’t even move with your leg rubbing against something~ Oh my fucking- FUCK

Yandere knight- who’s heartbeat is rising terribly fast thats not the only thing rising ehe

Yandere knight- who breaks the silence and asks how long you’d stay in his house after all, nothing is forever. Except his love “…how long will you stay?” While whispering it to your ear as if this was a sleepover-

Yandere knight- who hopes you’d stay longer! Maybe forever… please PLEASE

Would you stay for more nights reader?

[samairuart]

jdjhdhdhdh I have a LOT of questions!! first regarding your ocs, I would love to see their backstory, even if a little bit, cuz they're interesting as hell. I'm rotating your ocs in my brain unfortunately. whats the exact relation between like juhi and the dead bro cuz, you wrote there that she was a spare, but she's now ascended ?? is this something sort of outer family inner family stuff ??? ALSO if it it'll be soooo good to see them have a slight tension because of it!! ik theyre just ocs but I can't help but think of them in a story, so I'm looking for more crumbs about them to finally make sense about how everything works!!

Aw gosh thank you for being interested?!?! Gosh I’m so happy you like them 🥹 I can certainly add some backstory!

Setting: The Lotus Kingdom 🪷

A quaint undersea kingdom somewhere out in the Indian Ocean. Its main population are a peace loving merfolk. Minor populations of subspecies live here as well, all cohesively building a unique interconnected culture in the Lotus Kingdom. Despite this, there are some that work in the shadows to topple the kingdom in any way possible to create a new monarchy.

Princess Juhi

A spare by every sense of the word. The Lotus Kingdom prides itself on its sons, and the previous king was no different. What luck would smile on him for his firstborn to be a son, although it was soon discovered that like his mother, the prince had a weak constitution. In the hopes of having another healthy son, the king unfortunately was only able to sire a daughter before his wife died. Refusing to remarry, the king decided to focus all his efforts on healing and raising his son to become a perfect monarch of the Lotus Kingdom while Juhi was left forgotten to the seclusions of the outer palace.

In their youth, the weak prince would often explore and find himself in the outer palace where he’d discover his younger sister. In these precious moments of youth, it was Juhi’s only true connection to another and so she cherished every play date despite it lasting only a few encounters.

The prince quickly grew stronger and visits grew shorter as he had to take on more responsibility, thus leaving Juhi back all alone in the outer palace for the years that carried on.

With the death of the prince, and Juhi’s ascension to inherit, it thrusts all sorts of court politics into the mix. There are many against the princess’s right to rule, there are some who wish to puppet her, then there are some who are overjoyed at the prospect of change. The key element is that almost everyone underestimates her potential, including herself 😔 but my oh my this young princess has much to offer the world.

[niki-phoria]

was the one who suggested the shy sunghoon fic I LOVE ITTTTTTTT ITS SAUR CUTE

can i also request a ni-ki x yn fic kinda like influenced irl

so yn is older (months older theyre still both the same age) and ni-ki always teases how yn is a clingy person and is a baby thst wants attention even though hes older and yn tries stopping to be clingy w him and suddenly ni-ki backtracks and talk about how he secretly likes it

TYYYYY LOVE YOUR WORKS

i'm so obsessed with him HDNSLN

pairing: niki x male!8th member!reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff/comfort word count: 667

includes: briefly mentioned idol activities, didn't want this to be too angsty so it's just a small misunderstanding, niki's hair looks so soft, barely based on this video

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i'm so glad you liked the sunghoon fic :)) i hope you enjoy this one too <33

requests open !! read my rules first

niki lays sprawled out on the mattress as you prepare to begin filming. you watch heeseung and sunghoon drag another mattress away from the stack as you curl up next to him from where he’s laying. niki smiles, resting his hand on your back. 

“cute,” jay teases. 

“the maknaes are cuddling.” jungwon chuckles. you ignore their comments in favor of moving even closer to niki, hiding your face in his neck. he laughs, tugging you even closer.

“you’re so cute, hyung,” niki smiles as he playfully pokes your cheek. “you’re always so clingy.” you swat his hand away as you shift away from him slightly to give him more space. 

filming only takes a few hours, but you still avoid touching niki too much for the rest of the day. you shove your hands into your pockets instead of grabbing his hand as you’re driven back to the dorms. you don’t notice the way niki watches as you silently stand up and take your turn to shower instead of playing a few rounds of a random game with him and pressing a kiss against his forehead before leaving.

it isn’t long after your shower before niki quietly enters your room. you silently watch as he walks over to the side of your bed and sits next to you. you shift your computer to sit in between you, giving him more access to the screen, though his gaze remains fully on you. 

niki doesn’t break eye contact - even when you turn to face him. he fidgets with his fingers in his lap - as if contemplating something. “what?” he doesn’t reply; instead shaking his head. you decide not to push the topic, returning your attention to the drama playing in front of you. 

after a few more minutes, niki slowly begins shifting towards you. he moves so your knees touch. then, he leans his head on your shoulder. when you still don’t react, he finally lays down fully in your lap. a small smile spreads across your face when he reaches over to grab your hand before resting it on his head. you take the cue, slowly twisting his soft strands between your fingers and gently scratching your nails against his scalp. 

niki lets out a content sigh, nuzzling closer to you. the drama remains long forgotten in the background as you allow yourself to fully focus on him. his eyes flutter closed as he further relaxes against you. you’re about to close your computer to let him sleep in peace when he speaks. 

“you didn’t come find me.” niki’s voice is quiet. you almost have to lean in to hear him clearly. “after your shower. you always come sit with me and we cuddle or game or watch a drama together. you didn’t come today.” 

”i’m sorry. i thought you didn’t like it.” 

“i do.” niki shifts a little to look up at you. he pauses for a second before speaking again. “is it because of what i said earlier?” 

“you said it was clingy. i thought you wanted space.”

“it’s not that, it’s just…” he sighs. you push his bangs back behind his ears, giving him time to answer. his voice is even quieter when he does. “i like you. a lot. and sometimes i get embarrassed about the other’s teasing us so i started joining in. i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.” niki momentarily pulls your hand away from his hair to press a kiss against your knuckles. you smile, squeezing his hand before he lets go. “maybe i should ignore you more often,” you tease. “i like you coming to me for cuddles.” you pretend not to notice the way niki sulks from his position on your lap. you stifle a small chuckle, coaxing him to lay on a pillow instead so you can curl up behind him. “are you comfortable?” 

“always.” niki smiles when you lean forwards to press a kiss against his shoulder, nuzzling further against his body. “i love you.” 

“i love you too.” 

[youredyingthatsallthereis]

kinktober day 15: first time

roach and ghost have both never had sex and have their first time together. i hc that they are both 29. theyre both trans because i love trans love

please remember that this is both of their first time ever being with another person, so i tried to make the way they talk to each other/touch each other reflect that

roach is non op top & bottom & ghost is top surgery/bottom non op :)

read on AO3 | nonsenseafterdarks list <3 | word count: 2385

"is this alright?"

ghost nodded, seated comfortably in roach's lap. roach kept his hands on his waist, moving them up and down with steady, loving pressure.

"feel a bit..."

roach waited patiently.

"bit silly," ghost said, looking at roach's shoulder. "not really sure what we're supposed to do i guess."

roach leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. "we can do whatever we want, simon," he reassured him. "there's no rules."

ghost put his hands on roach's cheeks and kissed him again, firm and loving. "kinda can't believe that neither of us have ever done this," he said quietly, letting his lips brush against roach's with every syllable.

roach smiled. "i kinda can't either," he said, matching ghost's low tone. "glad it's with you, though."

he watched as his boyfriends eyes softened. "me too."

they'd spent the last two months slowly getting to know each other, happy to cuddle and kiss and hold hands and just be with each other. a few days ago, ghost had approached him about trying something new, and when they both realized that neither of them had ever had sex decided that they wanted to have their first time together.

which led to now: they'd already been on the books for a short leave for the week and were in roach's cosy apartment, ghost in roach's lap in his large, soft bed.

"kiss me more?"

ghost giggled. "absolutely."

roach gently fell back onto the pillows, pulling ghost with him while they kept kissing, deep and loving and slow.

after a moment, roach slid a hand under the hem of ghost's loose tshirt, smoothing up his lean, strong back. ghost arched into the touch and hummed happily, grinding his crotch a bit against roach's.

roach sighed at the friction; fuck, if it had to be anyone he was so, so glad it was ghost.

"you wanna take this off?" he asked ghost quietly, pushing gently on his shirt.

ghost bit his lip and nodded. he sat up and slowly pulled it up and off, tossing it on the soft rug next to the bed.

"you?" ghost asked. roach hesitated. ghost knew, but roach still felt a little self conscious about being non-op. it had just never worked out for him and after so many years, the idea of surgery was just not something he was interested in.

"you dont have to, love," ghost said, sensing his hesitancy. "but if its a binder you should take that part off."

roach nodded, gave ghost one more kiss before pulling his shirt and half tank binder off, tossing them both on the floor. he looked back up at ghost a bit anxiously.

"you're perfect gary," ghost said, leaning back down to kiss him again. "do you want me to touch? not touch?"

"a little is fine," roach said, taking ghosts hands and placing them over his collar bones. "i'll tell you if its too much."

ghost smiled and nodded. "can...can i take your jeans off?" he asked, tone a bit bolder. roach propped himself up on his elbows.

"go for it, baby."

he bit his lower lip while ghost carefully undid the button and zipper on his jeans, pulling them off carefully past his boxer briefs.

"these too?" he asked, an edge of hope in the question.

roach nodded. he'd never let anyone see him naked but with ghost, he wanted to.

he let ghost slowly pull them down and off, leaving himself hard and wet and exposed.

ghost only looked at him for a moment before he was taking his own trousers and pants off, seeming like he was in almost a hurry now.

roach watched for a moment, taking in the way ghosts belly hung a bit over the edge of his pants before they came off, the soft creases it had when he bent, the roundness of his face, the dimples and creases around his hips and thighs when he moved...it was all so

"perfect."

ghost looked up from chucking his pants to the side. "what?"

roach reached out and pulled ghost back on top of him. "perfect," he repeated. "your body's just perfect."

ghost cuddled up against him, straddling his hips and burrowing his face into the crook of roach's neck. "love yours, bug," he said, love every inch of it."

roach tilted his head and kissed near ghost's ear. "can i eat you out?"

ghost stayed cuddled up to him, shy for a moment before rocking their hips together; roach let out a small moan at their dicks slipping against each other.

"sure," ghost agreed after a moment. "you want me to lay on my back?"

"if you want," roach said, "if that's more comfortable."

ghost nodded and they swapped positions, letting ghost lie down and roach to get down between his thighs.

roach looked at his cunt: ghost was thick, hairy, hard, and slippery with slick. he took his thumbs and spread his bush apart.

"ready?" he asked, looking up at ghost's blushing face.

his boyfriend nodded. "yeah, im ready."

roach let his tongue out and gave a deep, firm lick up over ghost's hole.

the noise ghost made sound like actual heaven to roach; he sounded like he'd never felt anything so good in his life.

"please, please keep going," ghost asked, already breathing a bit hard with anticipation.

roach nodded and got to work, doing his best to pay attention to everywhere that seemed to make ghost feel the best: big, firm licks up the bottom to the very tip of his cock that made him writhe and squirm, massaging over and into his hole with the tip of his tongue, sucking hard on his cock, moving his head up and down on it with ghost's fingers tangled tightly in his hair.

after a bit ghost was breathing harder and squirming more and roach could tell he was getting close.

"you want me to try and get you off?" roach said, barely detaching his tongue from ghost's pussy.

ghost looked a little embarrassed but nodded, and hard.

"can i put my fingers in?"he said, putting a hand up near ghost's entrance.

ghost let out a shaky sigh. "yes, yes please," he replied.

roach carefully put one fingertip up against ghost's hole, wet with his saliva and ghost's slick. he slowly pushed the tip in, watching ghost's face for any sign of discomfort.

ghost was watching him too, looking at the spot where roach was slowly disappearing inside him. "fuck, bug, oh my god," he mumbled while roach slid halfway in.

"more?" roach asked.

ghost nodded hard again, moaning as roach got all the way in to the knuckle. "you're inside me," he said reaching a hand down for the one roach had sitting on his thigh.

he nodded, gripping ghost's hand hard. "yeah," he said, slowly starting to pull out. ghost started breathing fast and shallow at the sensation, clutching roach's hand tight,

"tell me to stop if its too much, okay?" roach said, now just the tip of his one finger still in ghost's pussy.

ghost nodded again. "okay," he said. "can - will you put a second in?"

roach felt himself get harder at the idea: "fuck yes," he said, bringing his ring finger up to join his middle. "you ready?"

ghost nodded; roach started to work his fingers in but -

"wait - "

roach quickly stopped and ghost reached down and pulled him up so that they were at eye level again.

"like this," he said, directing roach's hand back down between this legs.

roach nodded and got back to work, this time with ghost holding him close while he worked his way back in, his tits up against ghost's ribs. ghost let his legs fall wider; roach pushed in deeper until his palm was flat against his tcock, rocking his hand to massage inside ghost's pussy while rubbing his dick with the heel of his hand.

"fuck...youre inside me, holy shit," ghost breathed, rocking against roach's hand while he worked in and out.

"yeah, yeah i am; you like it? you like feeling me inside you?"

"yes," ghost almost whined, "fuck yes; you like being inside me?"

"never wanna leave, baby," roach said, giving ghost's neck heated, open mouthed kisses while he started fucking him faster. "fuck, you feel incredible."

"shit, im getting close, i - "

"tell me what you need, si."

ghost reached down and pulled on roach's hand until his fingers, hot and wet from being so deep inside him, and guided him to start rubbing over the side of it.

"like this, baby?" roach asked as he started, watching hungrily as ghost squirmed and moaned under the touch, hips bucking up into it.

"yes, fuck please, faster, please more; more fuck fuck i - "

ghost's arm around roach's neck pulled him in tight, crushing roach's face against his cheek while he came, shaking and arching and whining through it while roach kept up rubbing wet, sloppy circles on him until ghost started to slow down.

"how was that?" roach asked; ghost's grip loosened enough to let him kiss his cheek.

"are you joking? bloody amazing, fuckin christ gary," he said, still breathing hard. "shit, can i - what do you want me to do for you?"

roach thought for a second, kissing his neck again. "can i keep doing this?" he asked, slowly working his two fingers in and out of ghost again, slow and slick. "i like seeing you like this."

he swore he could feel ghost's cheek burning under his lips while he kissed it, flushed deep pink as it was.

"like what?" ghost asked, pushing down onto roach's fingers to help get them deeper inside him.

roach smiled into his cheek. "happy," he said. "feeling good."

ghost whined when roach picked up the pace and started fingerfucking him again. "you...fuck, yeah, you like doing that for me?"

roach rutted up against ghost's thigh. "love doin' it for you," he said quietly. "love bein' the one to make you feel so good."

arching his lower back as roach dragged his thumb along his cock, ghost whimpered a little "more" out at the touch.

roach felt himself pulsate with desire. “yeah, more like this?”

ghost almost shouted as roach started stroking his cock with his thumb while keeping his middle and ring fingers buried in ghosts cunt. “yes, just like that yes yes fuck yes -“

the next one seemed to move through him almost in slow motion - roach watched as ghosts face screwed up tight, then pushed his hips even harder against roach’s hand, seeming like every muscle in his body had tensed before snapping hard, leaving him gasping and scrabbling at any part of roach he could get his hands on.

“fuck you’re beautiful,” roach said, truly in awe that anyone could look so perfect to him.

ghost pulled him in tight to kiss him hard, hands almost frantic on his face to get him as close as he could, before moving to grab his hips and nudge him to get on top, in between his legs.

roach complied happily, settling slightly on top of the backs of ghosts thighs with his own spread to help keep them pushed back to make it easier to slide against each other.

he leaned back down to keep kissing him, moaning into it when he felt ghost start to grind up against him.

"so good," he breathed, "feel amazing, simon."

he reached down and spread himself open to let his dick slide into ghost's folds more easily; ghost reached his hands around under his legs to hold himself open.

roach pressed his cock up against the underside of ghost's and held it there, leaned down to pour as much love into a kiss as he could. without breaking it, he started rocking his hips; it was hard with their hands a bit in the way but he kept at it, breathing in every little "ah, ah, ah" ghost breathed out.

he started to push a bit harder, cock slipping down closer to ghost's hole, getting slipperier with every thrust -

"can...can i ride you?"

roach paused. ghost was flushed and looked a little shy about the question. he pulled back, nodding and eagerly switching places with ghost.

"how...?"

ghost bit his lip for a second before shuffling over one of roach's thighs, positioning himself so that one of his own knees was next to roach's hip and hoisted roach's other leg up on top of his other thigh. scissor emoji

"like...this?" ghost said, looking down at where their cocks were just barely touching.

roach nodded. "do it," he said, his voice soft and encouraging. "whatever feels good."

he took a moment to commit to memory the look ghost gave him, like it was the first time in his life someone had ever told him that he was actually allowed to enjoy himself, but after a lifetime of being denied even the smallest of joys he wasn't really sure how. roach decided then and there that as long as ghost would have him, he would do anything to teach him.

"try this," he said, gently pulling ghost's hips forward so that he slid over roach's cock.

his fingers dug into ghost's love handles as a wave of pleasure threatened to drown him, squeezing his eyes shut as if his senses couldn't handle anything else, nothing but how incredible ghost felt; and then he was moving, sliding back and forth on roach's dick, letting him slip just in and out from between him and -

ghost pushed his hips down to grind into roach as hard as he could when he felt him start to cum, giving him all the sweet, wet, frictionless heat he could while roach vice-gripped his hips.

ghost put a hand over one of his and giggled a little as roach started to come down, grip still bruisingly tight. "not going anywhere, love," he said. "not as long as you'll let me do that again."

roach gave a clipped chuckle, chest still heaving, and brought one of ghost's hands to his lips to kiss. "for as long as you'll have me."

ghost leaned forward, pulling their joined hands up over roach's head and kissing him. "i don't like letting go," he said quietly.

roach put his free hand on ghost's cheek. "good."

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m hoping this is the inbox- pls help I’m used to just reading what’s in the tags on tumblr and never requesting anything 🥹

I hope you’re having an amazing day/night/whatever time of day it is for you-!!! I just found your blog and I am so happy I did!! I’ve been binge reading it but the fact that I found someone who writes for Creepypasta???? I’m??? In luv??? (platonically ofc) may I request some LJ with a fem!reader who has bpd and he’s their fp, carries his little music box everywhere she goes and always “talks” to him in public, not caring about any crazy looks she gets from people?

Also politely asking to be 🩶 anon (if you’re taking any ofc-)

Laughing Jack x fem!reader w/ BPD who has him as her FP!

UEUEUEUE im so happy to hear you love my writing sm ehehehe! always thrilled to hear people enjoying my stuff/that it makes them happy! i hope you enjoy this, i havent written a reader with BPD before so i hope this is decent! also also youre doing wonderful; requesting i mean! i dont think theres many rules against how youre meant to request (every blog is different though!!)

honestly i think hes genuinely thrilled to be taken around and about with you in his little box! usually hes sitting in his box waiting for an unfortunate soul to take it home; its been like this for... a while now... so actually being able to go around and see things is a nice change of pace! plus it makes him feel more included in your life rather than just being an "at home friend"

i think in the beginning youre going to have to ask him to pipe down a little since he might talk a little too loud... like near yelling because hes just so excited

loves helping you shop :)! quick heads up though he might beg you to buy stuff you guys dont need

general silly ideas aside, i think hed be chattering the entire time so you two probably always have a conversation going on whenever you guys are out

probably sneers at people who give you looks tbh, will probably trip them if they decide to be a little ruder and mutter something under their breath while theyre passing by you... i mean they cant prove anything! they just tripped on air! jack totally didnt swipe one of his long arms out and tug their ankle back!

the only downside is that jack cant do much outside of talking and sneaking stuff around since him just fully popping out his box might blow his cover, you know? doesnt mean he doesnt have the urge to jump out when he sees you getting a little stressed out or overwhelmed about your surroundings or when someone is being particularly cruel

though i dont doubt hes remembering faces; i mean at the end of the day hes still a clown that specializes in torment, do i really need to say what hes cooking up in his brain?

no in cases where you're beginning to struggle hes probably going to try to quietly urge you to disconnect and take a breather

keeps your favorite candies on him at all times and slips them into your hand, probably does the same to any stress/fidget toys you may or may not have.. though i do hc he can just materialize certain things and i can easily see that sort of thing falling into something he can just yoink into existence

very good at reassuring you of your worth and how much you mean to him; this is a general thing but i think he makes it more of a point if self image is something you particularly struggle with

who would have thunk it, the clown with abandonment issues is good at reassuring others that hes not going to go anywhere

[thesimulacrasimp]

Ah shit, here we go again!

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 5-6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Ok i literally was waiting so much to see Lucifer n Lilith being a really happy and cute maried couple and now yall telling me that THEY DIVORCED??????? IM LITERALLY CRYIN WHAHT??? 😭

and OMG LUCIFER. HES SUCH A BABY, SWEETIE, SCRUNKY, CUTIE PATOOTIE!!! HES SO SILLY, I WISH I HAD DAD LIKE HIM. JUST LOOK AT HIM OH MAI GAHD

And his voice is really cool too! Not really what i expected him to sound like but still good! N the way he speaks is really funny too:

"Oh the applause! Oh please, thank u, thank u.. oh gOD WHO AM I KIDDING, THIS SUCKS!!"

"Daughter callin-- Da-DAU-DAUGHTER CALLING??? OH---"

"TAKE THAT, DEPRESSION!"

"Oh my golly!! You like girls!! SO DO I, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!!!!"

Hes ABSOLUTELY my 2nd fave character after Vox. Hes such a sweetheart i cant---

Also can we talk about how Alastor said "Fuck you" to a KING OF HELL? LIKE I KNOW THAT THIS KING IS NOT REALLY KINGING BUT STILL I WOULDNT HAVE BALLS TO SAY THAT TO LUCIFER HIMSELF.

Also the fact that Alastor was immediatly so pissed when Luci just steped into hotel is really strange. Maybe something happened between them that we dont know so far? Cuz purposely making Luci mad literally 5 secs after u met each other is really weird.

AND OMG THIS SONG IS TOTALLY NEW FAVOURITE BY NOW, THEY LITERALLY DID AN ELECTRO SWING SONG LIKE HELL YEAH!!! N THE FACT THAT LUCI OUT OF NOWHERE STARTS PLAING VIOLIN AGGRESSIVELY AND THEN SHUTS ALASTOR UP WITH AN ACCORDION IN THIS IS THE BEST TGING EVER.

i dont know how i think bout Mimzy rn. All i gotta say is she have a really cool singing voice!

And this shot is really adorable

Ok we actually now know from Husk that someone actually having Alastors soul! Just think about it: someone have AN OVERLORDS SOUL. Not ex-overlord like Husk, AN ACTUAL OVERLORD. Is this even possible??

This last song made me cry (again). I feel so bad for Luci, he was abandoned by heaven n he just doesnt want the same fate for his beautiful daughter, cuz she is the only thing he live for (i want him to be my dad so much omg..)

Also when Lilith took little Charlie away from Luci, it was sad, but it actually made me think, what if Lilith will be an antogonist? What if she will be the bad person? Maybe the main vilian even. I think if that will actually happen everyone will go CRAZY. But thats just my lil thought.

Ok, 6th ep! I actually didnt expect that we will see heaven so soon!

Ok but sir Pentious is GOT CRUSH ON CHERRI BOMB??? WHA??? THAT WAS SOMETHING I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT

Also i expected heaven to be much more strict place with many rules, where noone is alowed to swear. But turned out that its actually just a hell with better people and more rules, thats all. And its actually really strange that u can swear in heaven. Im not talking about Adam n Lute, cuz theyre exterminators and clearly just awhul ppl, this guy infront of heavens gates actually said fuck. Maybe im just wrong, but isnt swearing unacceptable in christianity?..

Also HELL YEAH we nailed it! We were right about Vaggie being a fallen angel. But the reason why she fell.... She was an exterminator and literally just didnt kill one child (which is really shows us that she have a kind heart) BUT SHE WAS EXPELED FOR IT IN SUCH HORRIBLE WAY.

I JUST DONT HAVE ENOUGH RAGE TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS. I REALLY HOPE WHEN HEAVEN DECIDES TO REDEEM PPL FROM HELL, THEY BOTH WILL GO TO FUCKING HELL FOR ALL THOSE VILENCE THEY BROUGHT TO WORLD, THAT WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS.

Also Cherri Bomb is being kinda toxic friend to Angel n i dont like that.

ALSO ANGEL STOOD UP AGAINST VAL!! HELL YEAH, SLAY SPIDERBOI!!! IM LITERALLY NOT SCARED OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIM WHEN HE WILL GO BACK TO HIS JOB!! IM NOT SCARED AT ALL!!!!

Ok this last song WAS SO EPIC!! ESPECIALLY WHEN CHARLIE N EMILY DID UNO REVERSE ON ADAMS SONG FROM EP 1!!

AND THAT PART WHEN ADAM REVEALED THAT VAGGIE IS AN ANGEL WAS SO EPIC TOO I LITERALLY GOT CHILS

and Charlies reaction to that was actually really heartbreaking

And everything ended up with Adam winning. I really hope that justice will overtake in this whole situation and Charlies plan will work. And im really interested to see Charlie n Vaggies relationships after that reveal. I honestly think that Charlie will forgive her, but its still really interesting.

Wow, it took me long enough to make this post.. I really like direction this show goes, n i can not wait for the next 2 eps!!

My thoughts/review on eps 1-2

My thoughts/review on eps 3-4

My thoughts/review on eps 7-8

[coveredinredpaint]

advice for avoiding the oppressive institution that is school dress codes? /hj

hey ey!!

i gotta start this off by saying my school doesnt have a dresscode, but i have one at work so ill share my tricks from there.

to start off its important you know the rules, and know where to find them, if a teacher scolds you for something thats technically allowed make sure you can prove em wrong. malicous compliance is key here.

some things you may be able to change in ur uniform/clothing:

(ill work my way up from shoes to hair to make it somewhat comprehensible.)

-shoes: at work we gotta wear black and/or white shoes. so i changed out the laces on my sniper boots to colored ones, and attached small carabiners to the laces them, on my vans i also have colored laces and shoe wings. you can also add beads, chains or other stuff. if the rules are very lax you can even paint them or add small patches to them. also wear fun socks with fun colors and patterns

-pants: cuff them, wear (wallet) chains, slightly worn, discolored jeans also give an alternative look. cargos are in but i advise widelegged ones, if youre able to get your hands on them, vintage, they are more comfortable, better quality and have more pockets. pants with patterns from cow to camouflage. also belts!! studded or if those are not allowed you can wear multiple at the same time. you can add patches with safety pins or add buttons.

-tops/shirts/blouses: if you have to wear a uniform with a blouse, cuff the sleeves, open a few top buttons and flip up the collar. to the collar you can also add collar pins and/or put a chain between them. see if youre allowed to add pins buttons or safety pins to your clothes. maybe you can layer a fishnet under them. wear t-shirt with big prints, bandnames or vagely political statements few ppl will understand. i like to cut the sleeves off of my shirts. leather jackets or vests always add a lot to your outfit. flannels with bright colors or instead earth tones.

-necklaces/chokers: bigger chains with big charms can add a lot, i have two big bone shaped dogtags, and a big one in the shape of a clover (the playing card symbol) also military dogtags with instead of ur info, bands or political statements on them are rlly cool. you can also make necklaces out of safety pins, but be careful that they wont open by themselves. you can permanently close the opening with pliers if needed. if chokers are allowed there are often rules against ones with sharp spikes, so bare ones or piramid/cone studs can be worn instead.

-bracelets/cuffs: for the cuffs its the same as the chokers. to beaded bracelets you can also add political statements or band names. chain bracelets or ones that connect to rings always look cool. see if you can wear rings and if yes try chunkier ones with a cool shape. try fingerless gloves or armwarmers.

-tattoos/hairstyles/piercings: dresscodes are opressive bullshit but i carry a perticular hatred for ones that ban piercings tattoos or hairstyles. if theres a ban on piercings you can get ones that you can hide (horseshoe septum) or ones that can be camouflaged with flesh colored jewellry. tattoos can be hidden with the right clothing. if bright unnatural haircolors are not alowed combine regular ones, black and blonde, red and blonde, brown and black, etc. you can split dye, dye the points or roots or dye particular sections. not allowed to shave your sides? thightly braid them like those viking braids to give the effect theyre shaven. also once youve shaven your head theres nothing they can do about it. also paint ur nails.

other stuff:

you can always hide certain accesoires in your bag or under your clothes during class and wear em during breaks or free periods. also dont hestitate to try out how much the rules are actually policed.

hope this helps! if yall got more tips dont hestitate to add em on, this is just what i thought of of the top of my head.

[omoghouls]

sliding over piece of paper that just says nihil pissing himself in imperator’s car (maybe theyre at a drive-in) (maybe after a ritual) (who knows)

YAAAAAAAAAA (I'll actually write a proper fic soon! Have the basic background xD)

OMG- Sister's car is her first baby, something she takes care of (hitting your cheating boyfriend with it is collateral you have to take sometimes-) so you know she's very anal about her car rules. Mostly normal things like nothing except water as drinks or that you /must/ wear your seat belt so that just in case she has to emergency break your stupid skull face paint doesn't smear over the window (This one was particularly created the one time she had to suddenly break for a cat that was on the road and grease paint is a bitch to clean)

But, sometimes, rules are made to be broken.

Maybe it was a Monday evening, the beginning of a new week after a weekend of back to back venue/bar bookings. Sister decided that the two deserved a break in the way of watching a new horror film that had come out at the drive-in theater (and because Monday's are the discount days and I feel like there was some penny pitching ta the beginning of the Church- girly has to save where they can)

Nihil loves it. It's been a busy time in the church. They're finally off the ground, which means more crowded bars, more groupies clouded with lust they can get to join the clergy, it's amazing but by god is it exhausting (Sometimes Sister wants to take a jab at Nihil and tell him he's glorified eye candy but, he has been proving himself to be someone who could become a great leader with time).)

Tonight is not the time to think of that. It's time for some good ol' brain rot horror. Sister won't lie- she went to the time slot that had the shittiest reviewed film so she could make out sloppy style with Nihil

Ofc, Nihil is very into the film xD Not wanting to peel his eyes away from the screen, lowering the volume of the radio occasionally to make remarks about an actor or plot points. Sister is like "Uh-huh, I'm going to go to the concession stand-" bc/ she's already seen this film.

Nihil just nods- not even realizing he had already finished his drink until Sister pulls the straw from his mouth, replacing it with a new drink.

He also doesn't notice how quickly his bladder is filling. Even when he starts shifting in the carseat- occasionally gripping the sides of his bellbottoms as his knees press together as his bladder sloshing uncomfortably, growing taut against his skin.

But, he doesn't want to miss the rest of the film (the public washroom was a fair bit away from where they parked, too) so he's trying to subtly hold it in because he really doesn't want to hear Sister to pushi him to go- he's a grown man ofc he can hold it until the film is over- or so he's hoping.

Now👀 he either pisses himself in Sister's car (possible punishment or something else fuuun~) or he is able to get out of the car and pisses himself literally inches away from the open door (which, still has him soaked- Sister definitely would make him go pantless if ge wants to get back in her car xD)

[h0wlcastle]

Okay time to do my mandatory overanalyzing a social interaction/conversation for the night:

Is there some unspoken rule against dropping a course in college because you don't really gel with the instructor / the way it's taught?

It's weird. While talking to my advisor today, she mentioned the dropped class and that it was okay to do that if im struggling and I was like "oh no, it wasn't the amount of work that was the problem." (Trying to reassure her i can handle the course load) "I had concerns about the way the instructor approached the course - I did try communicating, but unfortunately that did not resolve the concerns. I hope i didnt come off as rude in the process - tried my best there, just wasnt meant to be i guess."

And she said kinda flippantly "well I'm not gonna pretend that's okay that you did that."

I'm? What? Huh

And I never had a chance to ask her what she meant because she was rushing me so much. (Kinda fair, she probably has limited time and i can be quite chatty. it took over an hour to make next semesters schedule AND I changed my major on top of that.)

And she was very nice the rest of the time. I'm wondering if there was some kind of miscommunication/misunderstanding? Like maybe she said something else and I misheard or vise versa.

Otherwise that'd mean what I did is like, a big no-no for some reason and idk why that would be, especially since I heard multiple members of faculty tell me it's okay to drop a class prior to that, as long as I knew what the impact to financial aid status was? Or is it one of those things you're not supposed to talk about unless theyre violating policy and you need to report them bc it's seen as petty complaining?? I don't get it

This is driving me insane. 59% leaning towards me mishearing but idk

[zoyaofthegardvn]

love love lovED your zoya fic and now i can't stop thinking about zoya and reader's first time they say i love you to each other (somehow i'm imagining an almost fwb to lovers and theyre both surprised they've fallen in love)

What Are We?

Can be seen as a prequel to A Mission Gone Wrong! In which reader and Zoya are sorta kinda friends with benefits, until they catch feelings...

A/N: Love this idea! I totally have to write something for it, thanks so much for giving me the inspo to flesh out that fic, anon, and thanks for the sweet words! :)

CW: Mentions of smut! Angst to fluff!

---

After pulling your shirt back over your head, you glance towards Zoya, asleep in her bed. You two had hooked up, again, as you had been all year. Many years before that had been spent being friends, until the lust-filled gazes finally led to something.

As far as you were aware, Zoya hadn't been sleeping with anyone since you two began your... thing. And you certainly hadn't either, Zoya had ruined anyone else for you.

And that's why you had to put an end to these hookups.

Typically, you two would fuck in one of your rooms, and you'd stay the night, cuddling, talking, the other only sneaking off in the early morning. Maybe you'd have a quickie in some hallway closet, just to spend the rest of the day together, training or going over paperwork.

But recently, you'd been encouraging the sex to occur in Zoya's bedroom only, so that you could sneak out the second she fell asleep. You were sure she had noticed the change, but she hadn't brought it up.

She probably doesn't care, maybe she even prefers it this way, you assumed. Ignoring the pang to your heart.

You had caught feelings for Zoya, which was likely the biggest no-no rule when it came to friends with benefits. And really, you had feelings for Zoya before your intimate relationship started. It's why you slept with her in the first place.

But now... now you're in love with Zoya, and not being able to truly have her... it hurts. The phenomenal sex had always been enough to counteract the heartache, until it wasn't anymore.

Zoya isn't the relationship type. She's had many partners, and none of them were official relationships. You had no reason to believe you would be any different. And so, in order to look out for yourself, and to preserve the friendship with Zoya that you cherished, you had to stop.

Tonight is the last time, you swear, as you gently close her door behind you, kefta draped over your arm. Your room isn't far, just a few doors down, as you two had requested in the early days of your friendship, when you were given permanent places in the Palace after proving yourselves as formidable Grisha.

You hoped things wouldn't become too awkward, and you dreaded the day Zoya found a new partner to be intimate with. As your friend, you'd support her, and as the woman in love with her, you'd be crushed.

---

The next morning, you woke to knocking at your door. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes and wincing at the cold hard floor against your feet, you make your way to open it for your early visitor.

It's Zoya. She clocks the surprise on your face, and gives you a confused glare. Truly, you hadn't expected to see her until you made your way to the yard for training. You stare at her for a few seconds, mouth open, thinking of something to say, before she beats you to it.

"I figured we'd get breakfast before training, we didn't eat last night?" Zoya asks, clearly a bit offended by your reaction.

You drop your eyes and realize that she's already dressed and ready for the day. Unsurprising, Zoya is always on time, always ready. It catches you off guard, though, still in your robe and slippers.

"O-oh uhh, yes?" Zoya quirks at eyebrow at the question in your tone. "I mean yes, yeah of course," you add, not trying to be rude. "Just let me get dressed, I'll meet you there?"

"Sure.." Zoya trails off, even more confused by the second. Typically, you'd invite her in whenever she'd show up at your door. If you weren't required to wear a uniform for the day, she'd pick you out an outfit. She'd lounge on your bed while you worked at your desk. She'd paint her toenails while you took a bath. She'd read a book while you dozed on your couch. Zoya is your best friend, and obviously, she's noted a change in your friendship, before she noticed anything different with your sexual relationship.

You close the door in her face, and you hear her slowly walk down the hall. Resting your head against the door, you sigh, and rub your face with your hands. Still drowsy with sleep, you pull yourself together and get dressed for the day.

Breakfast isn't typically very busy, as training begins early and most prefer to sleep in. But it's true that you're starving. You and Zoya had gotten back to the Palace late the evening before, dinner had ended, and the both of you were two occupied with one another to go about finding your own food. Immediately, Zoya had fallen asleep after, and you went back to your room to do the same.

You take the seat next to Zoya, who is nearly finished with her plate. Your stomach growls, and Zoya snickers at the sound, handing you en empty plate for you to gather your food. You elbow her side, muttering, "shut up," as you fill your plate.

"So," you say, willing to start the conversation after that awkward first interaction of the day. "What's your plan for training, today?"

As a Tidemaker, you and Zoya often worked together, as Squallers and Tidemakers made a powerful pair. Zoya was more harsh with the Grisha during training, so you preferred to know what she wanted before you laid out your own plans.

She turns to look at you, placing a forkful of eggs into her mouth. She shrugs, swallows, and you see a smile tug at her lips. "Well, Y/N, I think your Tidemakers have grown a bit sloppy," you fake gasp at her insult, "so I thought we'd put them head to head today? See who comes out on top?"

You sigh, roll your eyes, and shoot her a grin. "They are not sloppy! It was your Squaller that caused them to lose control of that spiral, you know," you tease her, knowing Zoya was a bit bitter that your epic experiment with wind and water had ended in disaster, with everyone dripping wet and cold.

She snorts, shaking her head. "Please, as if," and she takes a deep sip of her coffee.

Usually, you and Zoya would disagree on training, at least a little bit. But today, you don't mind the suggestion. "I suppose that's a good idea, we've trained them to work together, but never how to fight an opponent with those skillsets," and the mood turns a bit sour, the fact that rogue Grisha exist looming over the both of you. You don't regret saying it, though. It bothers Zoya more than anyone, and she has to be able to face it.

Zoya clears her throat, and nods. "Yes, yeah... exactly."

---

Training gets off to a rough start. You two had taken your Grisha far into a field, where a large pond was located, so that you had plenty of room to work and not interfere with the other group's training. Most of the Grisha grumbled at the plan, having no real desire to engage in a battle so early in the morning. But, Zoya snapped at them, and they shut up quite quickly.

The next two hours were spent with you and Zoya coaxing your teams, how to note weak spots in an opponent, how to target them, how to catch even a skilled fighter by surprise. Both teams fought valiantly, but in the end, your Tidemakers won.

You beamed, and gloated, patting your Grisha on the back. You praised Zoya's team too, because they fought hard, and Zoya has been too tough on them, scolding them for their loss.

As everyone began the long trek back to the Palace, you hung back to walk alongside Zoya, distanced from the larger group.

"Enjoy your win, it won't happen again," Zoya mumbled, and you laughed at her pout.

"Just admit, Zoya, my Tidemakers aren't the sloppy ones!" You sing-songed.

"If it was just you and I, I would've won,' Zoya said, under her breath, but you still caught it.

Instantly, your mood faded. "Well, Zoya, not everyone can be one of the most powerful Grisha alive, I didn't think this was really about that," you spat, hurrying your pace. "But excuse me if I misunderstood!" you called over your shoulder, ignoring Zoya's calls of your name.

Perhaps you overreacted, but you were so sick and tired of Zoya's obsession with being the best, at everything. You wanted to enjoy your win, though it wasn't really yours, it belonged to your Grisha. But you were proud of them, and you were proud of the training you'd given them that clearly paid off. You had hoped Zoya would let you have at least that. You understood that Zoya wasn't trying to be mean, that she had traumas and insecurities she struggled with, but still. You deserved more respect. And maybe, though you wouldn't admit it, you wanted Zoya to admire you the way you did her.

You stomped the rest of the walk back to the Palace, even getting ahead of the Grisha in your furious haste. All you wanted was a warm bath, a snack, and maybe even a nap. You had a meeting to attend in the early evening, but that was about it. You had plenty of time to destress and cool down from your anger.

Workers, Grisha, friends, all chose to not speak to you as you entered the palace, clearly sensing you were upset. You appreciated it, really not in the mood to talk anymore. And this... surprised you. You had endured some of the harshest, meanest comments from trainers and mentors as you grew up and into your powers. So why was Zoya's comment bothering you so badly? The more you thought about it, the more upset you got. And then, tears are welling in your eyes, and you're bursting into your bedroom before they fall.

You know that it's not just what Zoya said that's brought the tears, it's the realization that Zoya will never love you the way you love her. She'll never respect you as a Grisha the way you so badly crave. She'll never view you as her equal.

You wipe at your wet cheeks as you draw your bath, taking deep breaths to soothe the sadness in your gut. Your clothes drop to the floor, and you nearly moan when the hot water touches your skin.

And, because you deserved it, you pull the bubbles to your chest that you had poured into the bath as it ran. You place a washcloth against the edge of the tub, and rest your head against it as a pillow. You enjoy a quiet few moments before a knock at your bedroom door startles you.

It's muffled, as you're locked away in the bathroom, but it catches you off guard. Again, there's a knock, but you remain silent.

If they really need me, they'll yell. You settle back against the tub, closing your eyes.

As if on cue, Zoya calls your name.

"Y/N? I know you're in there," she yells, and you roll your eyes. Honestly, you hadn't expected her to follow you. You didn't think she cared that much. You expected to see her later this evening, after you had both calmed down, and move on. Clearly, Zoya had other plans.

And then, you hear your door unlock and swing open. You curse under your breath. You had forgotten that Zoya had the spare key to your room. You weren't comfortable with hiding it somewhere should someone else find it, and so Zoya was the natural choice. She'd never used it before, and you had never lost your key and needed to retrieve the spare.

The door closes and locks behind her, and then she's strutting towards the bathroom door, swinging it open. You don't even glance at her. "Leave Zoya, I don't want to talk."

"Well I do," she says, grabbing a stool and sitting next to the tub.

"Come to talk about how much better you are than me? How much stronger? As if I need the reminder," you spit, raising your head to level a glare at her. You wouldn't be this angry if she weren't here to take it. You rarely fight with her, usually opting to keep quiet. But paired with the realization that you're in love with her, her attitude has hurt you worse than ever before. The woman you love, thinking you're weak.

Zoya sighs, frustrated, shaking her head. "No, Y/N. Damnit, I'm sorry, okay?"

You scoff. "I came here to take a bath and relax. I want to forget about it."

"Well, I don't!" she exclaims. "Can you just let me apologize, please?"

It's obvious that she won't give in. You roll your eyes, close them, then rest your head back on the lip of the tub. You wave your hand, as a dismissal, but Zoya takes it as a 'go on.'

"I'm really sorry, Y/N. You know I never apologize," and yes, that's true, rarely does Zoya say she's sorry. "I get too jealous, I'm too quick to anger, I know that. You don't deserve it."

She pauses, but you don't answer, you don't move.

She sighs, and starts again. "I don't think I'm better than you, I never have."

And you laugh, though it's humorless. "Yes, you have, Zoya."

She groans. "Okay, yeah, back when I was a lot meaner than I am now and I thought I was better than everyone..." her voice trails off, "but never you, not anymore," she finishes. Her tone is tender, her voice gone quiet.

Your stomach flutters, but you don't react, not willing to show her how her words affect you.

"Y/N, I'm serious. I don't think I'm better than you. You're the strongest person I know, and not just in Grisha power. You're an excellent teacher, and the Grisha are lucky to have you. They need you more than they need me, so please don't beat yourself up because I said something rude in frustration. I'm sorry, Y/N."

And you really do believe her. Zoya can't fake anything, not an emotion, a sentiment, an opinion. She sounds genuinely sincere and sorry.

You sigh, and lift your head again to look at her. "Thank you, Zoya, I appreciate it."

She smiles. "Am I forgiven?"

You nod, and you drop your eyes from her gaze. "Yes, yes, you're forgiven... but, I really do just want to be alone right now."

You don't even have to look at her to know that her smile drops, it's evident in her voice. "Oh, okay... yeah, of course. I'll see you later, though? At dinner?"

Now, you smile at her, it's small and not true. "Yeah, I'll be at dinner."

And with that, Zoya gets up and leaves. She doesn't look back at you as she closes the bathroom door, and you hear her lock your bedroom back up before you're sinking deeper into the tub, hoping that finally, you'll get to relax.

---

After the bath, a bit of paperwork, a nap, and your meeting, it's time for anyone in the Palace choosing a kitchen dinner to gather in the dining hall. You purposefully go late, not wanting it to be too crowded, and you don't fail to notice how Zoya did not come to your room for the two of you to go together, as she typically would.

Though it makes you a bit sad, you are the one that sent her away earlier, and you are the one that wants to nip your intimate relationship in the bud before you get too hurt.

You slip out of your room, lock the door, and make your way to the dining hall. You nod pleasantly at those that you see along the way, but you don't engage in conversation. You wonder if Zoya is even still there, perhaps she decided not to wait for you.

But, you instantly spot her blue kefta when you walk in, her curly black hair. It's impossible to not notice her, when she's all you can think about.

And she notices you, too. Like she'd been watching the entrance, waiting for you to arrive. She smiles, and you make your way over, taking the seat next to her.

"Hey," you greet her, grabbing a plate and filling it.

"Are you feeling better?" She asks. When you give her a confused glance, she says, "I know you're stressed, beyond our... fight," she says quietly, like she doesn't even want to mention that you two had an argument, "and I'm... I'm worried. Are you alright?"

And again, your chest pangs at the sincerity. The concern. You thought she hadn't noticed you pulling away, thought she didn't care. But clearly, she has.

You smile at her, and nod, shoveling a scoop of rice into your mouth. "Yeah, I'm fine," you say, mouth full of food.

She nods, but doesn't look convinced.

Dinner continues in amicable silence, occasionally interrupted by comments from one of you, about training the next day, missions coming up, general Palace gossip.

You're nearly done with your plate when you feel Zoya's hand on your thigh. You jump a bit, and look at her quickly. She smirks, and shrugs. You give her an awkward smile, and place your hand atop hers, stopping it from moving any higher but not removing her touch.

You both finish your food, and Zoya pulls you up by your arm the second she knows you're done.

She pulls you out into the hallway, as you repeatedly ask what she's doing. She looks over her shoulder, smiling, beautiful and happy, and shushes you playfully.

When you spot where she's taking you, you grow nervous. She's headed straight for a particular closet that you two have... had several dalliances in over the past year.

She opens the door, pulls you in, checks that no one was looking, and then shuts the door behind her.

Instantly, she's pushing you up against the wall, hands on your waist. She leans into your face, lips hovering above your own. She smirks. "Let me make you feel better," and then she's kissing you.

And you kiss her back, though you know you shouldn't. Your mind is roaring at you, your heart clenching.

She moans into the kiss, and your tongues begin to dance, tasting one another. This is familiar, this is fun, this is simple and easy. Except it's not. Not anymore. Not for you, at least.

Her hands slip behind you, cupping your ass, rubbing your back, your ribs. One hand slips between your thighs, and that's what makes you gasp, what makes you pull away.

Zoya would never, ever, make you uncomfortable. So she pulls back. She looks at you, hurt and confused. "What's wrong?"

You start breathing hard, terrified to have this conversation. You stutter and stammer. "I-I... I'm sorry.. I..."

Her brows furrow, and she takes in your panicked state. "Y/N, what's happening?"

You begin pulling at your kefta, straightening it. You refuse to look at her. You pace the closet briefly, wringing your hands. "I-I'm sorry, Zoya, I j-just... I can't.. we.. we have to.. stop," Zoya doesn't flinch. She just stares. "This.. it has to end.. I-I'm sorry," you rush out, then you flee the room like a coward.

You don't hear the door open behind you, meaning, Zoya is not following you. She's not chasing you for answers. She knows what you meant.

You rush towards your bedroom before the tears can fall.

The minutes the door is shut, you burst into a sob, dropping to the floor. The hurt on her face... the one thing you never wanted was to lose her friendship. And it seems like that's exactly what you've done.

---

You sleep restlessly, tossing, turning, crying, even. You had immediately undressed, once you picked yourself up off the floor, turned out the lights, and climbed into bed.

The pillow is tear-stained, blankets crumpled around you. Your head pounds from the stress, and your heart feels like its been cleaved in two. You have work with Zoya in the morning, the two of you are set to leave for field work in just a few weeks, she's the only person you sit with at meals. In your panic, you had completely changed how you'll have to function for the rest of your long life.

You wondered if Zoya was just as upset as you. If she mourned your friendship the second you fled. Or, if she'd already found someone else to share her bed with. It was a bitter thought, and you felt bad for it.

And then, your doorknob jiggles. You sit straight up in bed, furiously wiping your eyes. Your stomach sinks in dread, wondering who could be breaking into your room in the middle of the night?

It looks and sounds like someone's struggling with the knob, like they aren't sure how to work one. You'd laugh, if you weren't scared.

You pull the covers off, climb out of bed, and before you can grab a weapon, a flimsy butter knife you'd sliced some fruits with earlier, the door finally unlatches and swings open.

You gasp, and go to charge at the intruder, when you realize the stumbling figure is Zoya. For the second time in the span of a day, she's let herself into your room.

You stare, dumbfounded, as she clumsily slams the door behind her, and locks it.

"What are you doing...?" You ask, trailing off in utter confusion. You set the knife down and cross your arms.

She turns to you, her face full of rage and hurt.

"Coming to see who you're fuck-" she breaks off in a hiccup, "f-fucking tonight."

It dawns on you. "You're drunk," you spit, rolling your eyes, ignoring her hateful comment.

She rolls her eyes right back, far more dramatically. "Astute observation."

"Damnit, Zoya! Why are you doing this to me today?" You're seething, pissed off that she interrupted the sleep you weren't getting, that she's making your heart pound simply by being in the same room, that she has you worried for her, because she doesn't typically drink, especially when she's supposed to be up so early in the morning.

"To you?" she rages, hiccuping again before she takes a few steps towards you. "And what exactly have I done to you? Have I stopped talking to you?" she takes another step. "Have I stopped looking you in the saints damned eyes?" another step. "Have I stopped hanging out with you?" her voice cracks, and again, she steps closer.

You back up until you hit your dresser, and your lower lip trembles as she drills into you.

"Have I started fucking you, then leaving right after, like nothing happened?" she spits. Now, she's right in front of you, finger pointed, accusatory.

She takes one more step, until she's in your face. In the dim light, you can see the tears in her beautiful blue eyes. "I haven't done shit to you," she whispers, and the tears fall. "I-I apologized, for earlier, and then you act like you're disgusted by me."

She stares at you, but you say nothing. Her hand lowers, she stands up straighter. "So, I came to see who my replacement is." Her tone is matter-of-fact, like the only possible way you could leave her would be if you had found someone new.

"Z-Zoya..." you cry, a bit ashamed now that she'd pointed out how you'd been treating her. In an effort to protect your own heart, you'd been hurting her. You hadn't realized.

"Zoya," you start again, taking a deep breath. 'I-It's not like that," she cuts you off with a bitter laugh.

"I know exactly what it's like," she whispers.

"I never, e-ever, wanted to hurt you, Zoya," you cry, reaching to grab her arm. She jerks out of your reach, she stumbles at the movement, then straightens herself back out.

Her rejection stings. "I... it's... it's complicated, Zoya, but I am so sorry," you try and reach for her again, and this time, she lets you. You grab her arms, and realize she reeks of Kvas. "Let me put you to bed, you're drunk."

She shakes her head, a frown on her face. "So you can leave in the middle of the night?" she scoffs. "I'm not that drunk, anyway."

You sigh, heart heavy. "You're my best friend, Zoya, hurting you... that was never my intent. But I can't.... I can't talk about it."

She pulls out of your grasp, sits on the bed. She hangs her head, and the room is silent for a moment. She wipes her face with her hands.

"Tell me, don't talk to me like I'm stupid, stop running around in circles," she says, and you grimace.

"I have never thought you were stupid," you tell her, frustrated that every thing is going so, so wrong.

She looks up at you, her face miserable. "Then fucking tell me. What did I do to deserve this?" her voice fades to a whisper, and she starts to cry again. Silent tears, you wonder if she even knows she's crying.

"I can't," you whimper, sitting next to her.

"Can't, or won't?"

And that breaks you.

"You'll hate me, Zoya, we'll never be friends again," you whisper into the dim room, the tension winding around the both of you like a restraint.

"I would never," she hiccups again, and if the situation weren't so dire, you'd laugh at the timing. "I'd never hate you," and her tone leaves little room for argument.

You don't respond, eyes on your hands, picking at your nails. She stops your movements, placing her hand on yours. It reminds you of all those times she scolded you for the habit, telling you your fingers would hurt if you kept at it. A smile tugs at the corner of your mouth, but it never comes to fruition, the weight of losing Zoya for good too heavy for any other feelings.

Zoya fills the silence. "I... if I leave, and you don't tell me what's going on... what I did... we won't come back from it."

At the threat, your resolve crumbles. You sob. "Damnit, Zoya, why are you making me do this?" you look at her, your face devastated in anger and heartbreak.

Zoya doesn't respond. Doesn't answer, doesn't stop you. She just stares, eyes glazed over with both alcohol and tears. Her cheeks are flushed and stained with dried tears. She makes no move to wipe them, too afraid to break the spell.

Your heart is pounding, hands clammy and shaking.

"Zoya.. I-I am... I'm fucking in love with you," you gasp, and squeeze your eyes shut, unable to see the physical rejection you're sure she's going to put you through.

Yet, her hand doesn't move. She doesn't stop touching you.

She takes a sharp inhale, and it's the only other sound in the room other than your quiet crying.

"I-I'm sorry, Zoya. I-I didn't want to ruin anything, so I-I just never said anything," you take a few heaving breaths before continuing, "and I s-still ruined it a-all, didn't I?"

You cry, and cry, struggling to breathe. Never, not once, have you felt such visceral heartbreak and pain. You wonder if you'll survive it.

"I know I wasn't," you sniffle, "wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, but I did, I can't help it, and I-"

And then, you're being cut off by Zoya's hands grabbing your face, her lips landing on your own.

You're so surprised for a moment, you don't even move, your eyes wide. And then, you kiss her back. Eyes fluttering closed, your lips move with hers in a tender, slow kiss. Your heart flutters, the pain gently ebbing away.

She pulls back and looks at you. "You're in love with me?"

You nod. She kisses you again, quick and soft. You stare at her, stunned.

"You love me, and you didn't tell me?" she says, a bit hurt, though she sounds relieved. She's cupping your face, and one of her thumbs starts stroking your cheekbone.

"H-how was I supposed to?"

Zoya shakes her head in disbelief. "I..." she stops, like she's gathering her thoughts. "All of this... all of this, because you're in love with me."

You feel embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Zoya."

Her eyes widen. "Don't be sorry, you fool," and your brows furrow in confusion. She kisses you again, then mumbles against your lips, "I love you, too."

---

A/N: This ended up being longer than I intended, oops! I also went the angst to fluff route, hope that's okay!

[kemalamalam]

RULES: post 5 songs associated with your OCs and 4 outfits they'd wear

i saw @bhaalsdeepbat doing the tag game and i wanna make one too i hope you dont mind 👉👈

huehuehue this is Chevrotain, my durge bard

they got fucking wormed half way through the game and became hard to look at so i changed their hair then they look half-decent (not as good looking as the default but still)

im gonna be sorta infodumping about their lore bc im insane for them

1. Bloody! Bloody! - Junie & TheHutFriends

so in my canon Chevrotain isnt the dark urge like the origin character but another bhaalspawn, theyre still a bhaalspawn though so their gameplay is still a durge playthrough and this song is so accurate to durge's storyline?? like

Ain't it funny how I scare myself sometimes

..You take his hand quite literally..

..I probably shouldn't have said that..

They said, the lady in red / Bloody! Bloody!

Durge being literally shocked at kicking the squirrel involuntarily?? / the Gale incident / durge saying freakish shit most of the time / literally Orin

this song is my number one go to when i think of Chevrotain 😭

2. Abbey - Mitski

i mentioned that Chevrotain is a cannibal 🥺 its funny bc they dont have any sense of taste, they also have a huge identity crisis thanks to Bhaal whispering to them on their "role" and they whole "you were created bc blah blah blah"

I am hungry I have been hungry I was born hungry What do I need? I am something I have been something I was born something What could I be?

the theme i like to go with them is "starvation", like being starved of fatherly love from Bhaal, being starved of their own identity, being starved of their own mind, being starved of a home.. so this song fits into it SO PERFECTLY

3. Our Word - 36 Questions, Jessie Shelton

GAH this song is so cool from the coolest musical i know (i only know like 6 musicals 🙃), its literally a musical podcast?? so cool.

anyways Chevrotain is a bard right, they usually manipulate people with their words, a lot of deception and persuasion bonuses, so they are a very deceitful and as a result they are a very distrusting person.

the song is about a girl who was raised to be a compulsive liar - when she accidentally broke her dad's ship in a bottle - her mom told her to lie to get out of trouble and it worked, so she kept lying and lying and lying to get herself out of situations.

the song ends with a near death experience, but all she can think in her dying moments is how her parents are going to lie about her existence just to avoid the hassle of dealing with her death.

And it's our word Yes, our word It's our word Yes, our word Against theirs

the thing about Chevrotain is that they cannot trust easily - and what they fear the most is that theyd be tricked the same way theyve been tricking others - its a constant for them and this song embodies it perfectly (･ω･)b

4. Animal Cannibal - Possibly in Michigan, Karen Skladany

haha cannibal mention

iconic song tbh, this one isnt as intricately tied to Chevrotain's character quirks in my mind as the others and its more of their whole vibe and sthick

Who knows how some people turn to strange ones Is it up to me to make them into dead ones? (Here we go again) I bite at the hand that feeds me Slap at the face that eats me Some kind of animal cannibal (Animal? Cannibal)

the tricking people into thinking theyre an unassuming bard even though theyre an experienced necromancer

and that they rebel against Bhaal pretty aggressively (well, as aggressive as you can when youre going against your literal God father without being punished by death 💀) such as never calling Bhaal as "father" pre-amnesia

5. The Milk Carton - Madilyn Mei

have i ever mentioned here that Chevrotain fell into the Feywild when they were around 9?

they were following a grinning cat named 'Alice Alice van Malice' who later became their guardian because fucking Ethel spotted baby Tain, took them in bc she realize that a bhaalspawn would make a strong hagspawn, since Alice didnt want to be responsible for a horrific fate of a child he decided to keep watch of them 😭

so this song is more to baby Tain's perspective, that they are now living in a stinky swamp in the Feywild and sleeping on a cold slab of stone instead of the cozy foster home they were in before..

I think I really miss my bed Oh when, oh when will the nightmare end? I had it good, I had it good And yet I left and can't retrace my steps Think I forgot a couple things My brain is still at home (Stop telling me all about your problems)

..but hey, at least theyre not dead!

Outfits/Style

Chevrotain's style is called classy and youthful in the DnD universe and timeline, but in todays world we call it grandmacore ❤

ok well it has a prince-like flare to it, the embroidery would be all silver bc one thing about Chevrotain is that theyre good at commiting to the bit, also the clothes beinf airy, flowy and puffy is important bc they dont like their clothes being skin tight bc they get uncomfortable easy.

its all billowy blouse + black pants combo bc its a classic and i love it SO MUCH, i eat this combo all the time everytime

im too shy to tag anyone else for this akdnsjnd anyone who wants to join in from seeing this post.. please tag me in it bc im nosy and i want to see ur Tav/Durge :3